Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com
(Ed: Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)

national politics an(Click here)
traps-yardLobster fishing is big business here in the Keys. There are 495,000 traps currently permitted, commercial divers, sport divers & folks with just a few traps. It’s hard to get the real number of lobster caught. A very good guess would exceed 5 million lbs. They are sold to fish houses, private buyers , person to person and for the last few years, the Chinese buyers have had a big effect on the prices & market. Lobster fishing is some of the hardest work a person can do. The traps are heavy when dry, and after soaking for a week or so, they become very, very heavy. They must be handled many times. The trap is then exposed to storms, cut offs from boaters, and poaching. The loss rate is around 10% of your traps. If you have 1000 traps you will loose around 100.
We have many friends & family that fish, they may correct some of my numbers. I have not fished for many years so I could use some help with my math, but I bet I’m close. To sum it up my friends, when you see a “crawfish trap” float, there’s a line attached to the trap somewhere under it, show some respect. Know what direction the current is running, it will help you navigate through the trap lines. Think about this. That trap is the livelihood of a family, a very hard working family that is farming the sea for you & me. PS: Crawfish is our name for Florida lobster.
[Greedy Doves] I have beautiful birds in my yard including cardinals, mocking birds, tanagers, redstarts, different types of warblers, and many others that I cant identify. I ‘ve been buying seeds for wild birds and they all seem to love it. They apparently told all their friends on the island and now the doves are showing up by the dozens! It appears that the flock contains three types of doves; the ringnecks, the mourning dove and another type that has brownish-pinkish colored feathers. They are sweet birds but, damn, they eat up all the seeds as if they’re in an eating contest. If you’re missing some doves from your yard they’re over here mooching big time. Please, put some seeds out so they can find their way home and leave my yard. I cant afford more food. Or, would a scarecrow keep them away? It makes me wonder exactly how many doves live here. I counted well over 100 one day taking turns depleting the bird seed. Any non violent suggestions are welcome. (Ed: You too? We had cardinals feeding on our porch railing right in front of our kitchen table and someone must have told the doves. They chased away all the other birds and squabbled so much, and made such a racket, that we had to stop putting seeds out for the other birds.)
drunk bar beer[The Keys Disease] It has been said the Keys Disease is alcoholism, but alcoholism is only a part of the picture, Loneliness is the major contributing factor which leads one to the bars to drown one’s sorrows. The average men to women ratio in the Keys is approximately 23 to 1 and that 1 is usually someone’s wife. The Keys lack women because there is nothing here to make a beautiful intelligent woman want to stay, A tourist industry is a low rent industry and draws the type people no decent woman would want to marry. There are no worthwhile endeavors or dignified employment opportunities for women in the Keys. To be a barmaid, waitress, clerk, mail carrier, sub-level teacher or bubba politician is all there is. Men are in the same boat, with no industry or raw material sources to create jobs, men drink in excess. The only low life high profit businesses are bars and hotels, but they are seasonal and very tricky to stay in the green. No, the Keys are not the Paradise they are cracked up to be and most find that out in a year or two after moving here.
Where is the best place to sell high end hunting rifles in the Keys?
target20
Bullseye!
Deer Ed, My sincere compliments in maintaining a civil place (for the most part). I really don’t understand the inclusion of Sloan’s missives, as they appear to be on the cusp of slander. But, I realize he’s an old acquaintance and you’re a big boy. Keep up the good work!
win10-icon[Windows 10] Congratulations Microsoft. It looks like you’ve finally got a winner. The thing I like most is that you can right click anything and change it. That’s what was so good about Windows in the first place–it was completely customizable. hat alone separates it from all competition.
[“Crosswalks”] Here’s a response to the person who was complaining about pedestrians: Dear person, you might be surprised to learn that there is no “Right of Way” law in Florida. Instead, Florida laws choose to define who, and under what circumstances a driver or a pedestrian must yield in traffic. That’s an important distinction. Example: If, in the case you mentioned, a pedestrian is legally occupying a marked crosswalk, the driver is required to stop and remain stopped until the pedestrian has exited the crosswalk. Here is a link that outlines many examples and explains the laws that pertain. I hope this clarifies things for you. Link There! My good deed for the day.
ice cream bobblehead

[Ban Ice Cream] Yes Yes!  The poster that complained about D.Q. selling crap  Blizzards certainly brings to realism the fact that we do indeed need rules acting as guide lines to keep us grounded in the dangers that are prevalent in the age we are living in. I sincerely believe we would all be better off if our elected officials would pass a law outlawing all forms of ice cream. This would very likely be a good gain for having a more healthy and slimmer nation. One might almost say it would be the patriotic thing to do. Their are indeed, literally, tens of thousands of such ordinances or rules, if you will, we could pass, but this would surely be a step forward.

Seriously, I am an atheist. I swear to God!
septic-tank-drainfield[Septic Tanks And Cesspits] In 1999, Linda Eng. Linda was the “tall, tanned, beautiful woman from Norway” who captured the imagination of millions when she was described, in a New York Times article, swimming off Smathers Beach, splashing, laughing, and flashing her 60-watt smile until a passerby informed her that the water was contaminated with human feces. A lot of it. That was the year the coral began to die along with seagrass beds and fish. Many beaches were closed due to fecal contamination and even the seemingly unassailable waters of the ocean began to turn from turquoise blue to pea soup green.Scientists pointed the finger at unbridled development and a dysfunctional sewer system that allowed harmful nutrients to flow directly into Keys’ ocean waters. So that year the Florida Legislature amended Florida Statue Chapter 381. In short, it forced every sewer system in the Keys to meet a high standard of treatment for sewage effluent, setting very specific maximum levels of nitrogen and phosphorous and requiring the County to be fully compliant by July of 2010. For some older systems this deadline has since been extended to December 2015.While DEP was put in charge of systems producing more than 10,000 gallons of residential sewage effluent per day, the DOH had been made responsible for all of the small on-site systems for individual households. In 2012, according to the EPA, there were still about 30,000 of these “decentralized” systems in the Keys. According to a 2001 study, initially published by FSU, bringing these small on-site systems into compliance with wastewater treatment standards is crucial for improving water quality. At the time, H Darden, wrote, “EPA estimates that the septic tanks and cesspits alone introduce over 1,200 pounds of nitrogen and 326 pounds of phosphorus each day into the surrounding marine environment, accounting for over half of the total nutrient loading in Keys waters.”
sick man cough[Whooping Cough] U.S. Rep. Carlos Curbelo, R-Miami, has been diagnosed with whooping cough, a rare and contagious disease that is officially known as pertussis. The freshman Republican has been ill for several weeks with the disease, which has largely been quelled in the U.S. through vaccination. He was diagnosed on Monday. Curbelo was vaccinated as a child, his office says, but did not received recommended booster shots as an adult. He was probably contagious in early- to mid-July but no longer is so.
The disease is typically marked by a severe cough that is often followed by a deep breath that sounds like “whoop.” It has a reputation as a childhood disease but now more often strikes teenagers and adults whose immunity has faded. The Capitol physician’s office has referred Curbelo’s case to the Washington, D.C., health department.
[Canal Tax] Canals in Eden Pines are nasty, it’s true. There are plenty of ancient septic tanks that may have become cesspits, and probably some number that were always cesspits. For decades, fish carcasses have been dropped in the canals. Leaves and dog poop run-off have added to the algae growth and a thick layer of nasty muck has accumulated on the bottom. So why is it a great idea to pump the much cleaner Pine Channel water to the closed ends to flush decades of accumulated crap out? Yeah, like that’s going to improve the water of Pine Channel? Dredging and delivery of the muck to a sod farm somewhere might improve the canals, but flushing them out into the channel would only improve the canals at the expense of the channel. Better to let the sleeping muck lie, and be grateful that you can keep a boat floating in your back yard. Take your fish carcasses offshore, anchor and get the bottom bite going instead of adding to the problem.
And doesn’t anybody else see that the agenda is more about a mandatory canal maintenance tax for all canal front (and maybe even dry lot) homes than about improving the quality of water where aquatic life still lives and where it’s still fit to swim? This is not where infrastructure tax dollars should be going: into new infrastructure that benefits few, reduces quality of life for many, and burdens all forever. Let the muck lie dormant and discourage those that make it worse by throwing their garbage in.
jitterbug26

As a demonstration of values think about music. In the second World War German had Wagner and the USA had Glen Miller

I’ve been trying to train my handwriting recognition software to recognize my crappy printing so I can easily convert my notes into digital Word files. Its first problem was recognizing the difference between my number 2. It kept interpretation it as z. So far I’ve changed the way I write my 2s, 8s and 9s.
smiley-sheet

 

My smartphone keyboard, unfortunately,  has a key that opens a bunch of emoticons, those little smiley faces that text morons use when they have nothing of interest to say, but want to say it anyway.

[The Plague] One fifth of the world’s population died, mostly in cities where poor sanitation existed. It all started in India.
troprock9

 

I hate “Trop-rock” music like that from Jimmy Buffet and his imitator Howard Livingston. How about updating it with a little catchy back beat. You could call it Trop-hop.

[Freak Accidents] Early in the morning while driving up the Keys I saw a truck in the oncoming lane have a tire roll out of it’s bed and bounce on the road, real high, and then roll pass the truck towards me at a high rate of speed. It followed the center line missing me by a couple of feet. It happened so fast I didn’t believe my eyes and couldn’t react. The tire continued down the road and luckily there were no other cars on the road in that direction. It’s sometimes frightening how fast our lives can change.
scarf9[Arteries] I’m told that if you use a tourniquet on an appendage you’ll lose the appendage, from the tourniquet down, because the lack of a blood supply to that limb will kill it. Can you just tie a tourniquet loosely to allow just a little blood to still flow to the limb? (Caution: never tie a tourniquet around a neck).
Forget your mythical creators and churches and please pray to me. I guarantee you will get the same results and I could use the money you’d other waste.
bakelight phone

Was Bakelite what they used before plastic?

A popular top 40 song is called “Evergreen” sung by a youngster with no concept of age yet. One of his lines,
“I’m twen-ty and,
I’ll still love you when I’m seven-ty.”
Ryan O’Shaughnessy – Evergreen
war bonds8

[War Bonds] Why don’t we sell war bonds to fight the Islamic wars like we did in WWII? Why do we try to break America’s economy paying for these wars from our taxes? The good part is bond holders will make a profit and the US wont go broke fighting unwinnable wars.

There are international consortiums to set wi-fi standards, html standards, domains, etc. Why isn’t there a consortium to set web page standards, like where the close ‘X’ is and where the menu is?
barbecue bbq neon redSimple Barbecue Sauce
2/3 cup ketchup
1/2 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons pimentón (smoked Spanish paprika)
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper
Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan, bring to a simmer over medium heat and cook for 5 minutes. Full Menu > Recipes
[More Bar Wisdom] You know you’re drunk when you don’t know if you put booze in your drink or not
meditate concentration

[Insomnia] The best way to go to sleep is to try to focus on a single thought. By doing so you block out all other thoughts that might keep you awake. It takes a lot of concentration to do it, but after a while it gets easier. That is the trick used in all meditation practices–concentrate on one thing.

[Terrorist] Bail hearing set for Stock Island man charged in backpack bomb plot. Bail? Facing life in prison and they want to give him bail? Are you Feds nuts or what?
hot-coffee
I have listened to the words to American Pie for many years and thought I understood everything that was being sung about. However when the words are put  together with pictures and film clips the song takes on new meaning. It took a lot of thought and sure brings back lots of memories.  Very well done and imagination to write it and a lot of work putting the images together also. A job well done! Video.
explode in face

 

More bleach in the gene pool. What could possibly go wrong? Video

Deer Ed, Thanks for getting me back on track. I punched you up several times while waiting for the coffee to kick in and let me realize it was Friday instead of Saturday
lion-dead0It  looks to me like lions behaving as they evolved, or were created, to behave. So, the dentist evolved, or was created, to pay rogue hunting guides $50,000 to bait a lion off a refuge, so the dentist could shoot and kill the lion, and then have its head mounted and its skin turned into a rug? That was Nature’s, or God’s, grand plan for the dentist? I wonder what the dentist’s sex life is like? If he has a sex life. Maybe after all the commotion he created, he can’t get it up any more. I read yesterday that Zimbabwe had initiated extradition and it already was on President Obama’s desk. I bet that’s a hot potato for Obama. His father was from Kenya. They have lions there, too
[Friends Fur-ever] You don’t have to be a cute animal to show the world how to “Be Together. Not the Same.” But it definitely helps. Video
bend over fartAl Gore was right about global warming all along. It’s the humans that are the cause of global warming! A long time ago there were only a few million people, but now there are around 7 billion people and when they fart they are releasing a huge methane gas bubble that will heat up the atmosphere and if there’s just that 1 magic spark the earth will explode killing everything except politicians.
Men wrote the Bible. And if they had eyes to see, they would have taken out what they did not see, such as this passage about reincarnation, since Christianity does not recognize having more than one life; it’s entire premise is you get one chance and then you go to heaven or to hell forever. In fact, for quite a while after Jesus reincarnation was part of many Christians and other religions’ belief, but the Christian leaders decided to get rid of it, I suppose because having more than one chance did not encourage people to do their very best this time around, and it also did not encourage people to convert to Christianity as having their only hope of being saved and going to heaven when they died. I suppose also there was a monetary factor in play: the more Christians, the more money pastors and the corporate church made. As for Paul, besides being a mass murderer of Christians when he was Saul, after his wake up call on the Road to Damascus and his ensuing remaking, some of which is told in Acts of the Apostles, he wrote somethings that really wreaked havoc in the soul of Christendom: he said his disciples should be celibate, like him; he wrote Christ is to the head of a man, as the man is to the head of his wife, and only though her husband can a woman know Christ.Men wrote the Bible about forty years after the death of Jesus. I know when I write about things that happened almost half a century ago I tend to embellish certain things and forget others. the Bible shouldn’t be treated as gospel.
ufo shoots enemy shipIn 1665, many said they saw a UFO battle and fell sick afterward. “After a while out of the sky came a flat round form, like a plate, looking like the big hat of a man… Its color was that of the darkening moon, and it hovered right over the Church of St. Nicolai. There it remained stationary until the evening. The fishermen, worried to death, didn’t want to look further at the spectacle and buried their faces in their hands. On the following days, they fell sick with trembling all over and pain in head and limbs…” Link
Cisterns are fine in Monroe Co. Let the county mosquito group turn a couple of fish loose in them to eat any mosquito larvae. Brings the exorbitant water bill down while keeping the plants alive.
DonaldOfDC
Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.  ~Frank Zappa
crosswalk8[“Crosswalks”] Dear “sick and tired,” Florida’s right of way regarding pedestrian traffic regulation is Title XXIII, Chapter 316.130, paragraph 7(c) states, “…the driver of a vehicle shall yield the right-of-way, slowing down or stopping if need be to so yield, to a pedestrian crossing the roadway ….” However, the last sustenance in paragraph 7(c) states, “Any pedestrian crossing a roadway at a point where a pedestrian tunnel or overhead pedestrian crossing has been provided shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles upon the roadway.” The way you pick and choose truth to support your own agenda would make any politician proud. Link
[Refuge Environment] Did you read where Phil Frank (ex refuge manager) did a study of Big Pine Key and concluded that – the water and sewer improvements planned and being built in the refuge are of little environmental consequence! He stated that no harm whatsoever to any protected or endangered species would happen. First of all most every little hollow that held fresh water is bleeding it’s precious resources off into a utility trench. Watching the little deer paw at their empty water hole is one sign that was missed in the study.
A second issue is that every home gives off 200 to 300 gallons of fresh water each day. This water sits on top of salt water and provides the xeriscape water that feeds plants and grass and stuff little deer eat. My goodness, the water table is going to drop and somebody should do the math.
I’ll tell you what, wait until your plants are dying and you are watering your brown lawn and your sewer bill is your water bill — doubled. Then the math will be evident.
The hundreds of thousands of dollars spent on studies of the fresh water table on Big Pine Key are not well spent because nobody must have read about how important septic systems are to the fresh water table. That’s not so important on the mainland, but on islands in the stream, they are really important.
I have another thought about the human species who will soon be extinct on Big Pine, not the rich ones, but the poorer ones. Big Pine Key will become a very dry and dusty place during the long dry months. During the wet months the deer might make it
mr-creosote[Mr Creosote Blows Up] From Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life. Video
NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary will hold a public meeting of the Sanctuary Advisory Council August 18, 2015, 9:00 a.m. – 4:05 p.m. Hyatt Place, 1996 Overseas Highway, Marathon, FL 33050
The meeting will start off at 9:00 a.m. with scientific presentations on the ecology of the Tortugas Ecological Reserve and Pulley Ridge. At 11:00 a.m., the superintendent of Biscayne National Park will present an overview of their recently updated Management Plan.
In the afternoon, a NOAA economist will present results of socio-economic monitoring in the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary, followed by a presentation on the outcomes of a recent advisory council workshop on artificial habitats. The council will also discuss and consider potential actions on marine events and concentrated uses and the City of Key West’s request for an advisory council seat.
Before any Advisory Council decisions are made or actions taken, public comment will be taken. Public comment for items not on the agenda will be taken at 2:45 p.m. The meeting will wrap up with general reports from state and federal agencies on recent activities
To receive more information, or to request a meeting agenda, please contact Beth Dieveney at 305-809-4700 x228 or Beth.Dieveney@noaa.gov
gatorade[Healthy Sports Drink]
Electrolyte Water
1 quart water
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 tablespoons raw honey
1/4 teaspoon potassium chloride (salt substitute)
Fresh lemon juice to taste
(Gatorade’s ingredients pictured)
In my opinion, anyone who says more than 4 or 5, “My bad“s per day needs to change something, and I don’t mean socks!
staff musicAin’t it great to be back in the Keys.” Please I need that song.  It could be the Coconut Telegraph theme song. But cannot find it anywhere or the name of the dood who sings it.  Where did it go? Is it available on the CD?  Jammin Jim used to play it as the opening on his reggae show on the radio and it was dumb of them to shut that down
Regular lobster season starts Thursday, runs through March 31.
crayons9

 

Crayons for adults.

A new Big Pine Key resident here. Any reason there are two Avenue A’s on Big Pine Key? We bought a house on the ‘other’ one that is really just an extension of Wilder road. It sort of dead ends just past our house with some barricades but connects to Palm Dr. at a run down park. Any background would be appreciated
gibberish9

 

[Redneck Gibberish] I ain’ts needin no gubermint edumakation. I’s gots me hom skoolin.

[Crap] It seems to me that no legitimate study has been performed for a permanent fix to the sewage issue. It seems to me that the only solution is to pump the sewage out of the keys. As long as the coral is dying the problem is not solved. Deep well, shallow well studies are simply BS to waste money and allows for more corruption which is quite obvious. Stop thinking about short term and think long term. If the Keys are going to survive the power must go to those with a brain who want to serve the masses and not themselves.
back to school locker[School Supplies] Keys kids need school supplies like paper, pencils, notebooks and highlighters in order to succeed at their studies. But some kids can’t afford even these basic supplies. That’s why United Way of the Florida Keys and its community partners are proud to support their annual “Stuff the Bus,” an effort that will hopefully produce truckloads of school supplies to be distributed to all Monroe County schools from Key Largo to Key West.
Local companies can become sponsors of “Stuff the Bus” by pledging to provide a minimum amount of $250 worth of school supplies through a supply drive with their employees or customers, or by making a contribution of $250 or more, or a combination of both. Supplies can be collected until the end of August.
Individuals can participate in “Stuff the Bus” by taking school supplies to a sponsor’s business, making a donation online at Link, shopping at Publix and buying “Tools for Schools” gift cards at the checkout counter, or by attending a Back to School celebration at the Hard Rock Café in Key West Thursday, August 20th from 5:30 – 8 p.m. Admission is free with the donation of school supplies. United Way will purchase additional school supplies for Keys schools with every dollar donated in the community. For more information on “Stuff the Bus,” call the United Way office at 305-735-1929, or email kbauerjones@keysunitedway.org
sea-level-rise

 

What will Big Pine look like with 1 foot of sea level rise. Will you finally have waterfront property after all? Link

I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed” I’m always ready for bed.
se7enThe seven deadly sins, also known as the capital vices or cardinal sins, is a classification of vices (part of Christian ethics) that has been used since early Christian times to educate and instruct Christians concerning fallen humanity’s tendency to sin. In the currently recognized version, the sins are usually given as wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. Each is a form of Idolatry-of-Self wherein the subjective reigns over the objective.
The Catholic Church divides sin into two categories: venial sins, in which guilt is relatively minor, and the more severe mortal sins. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, a mortal or deadly sin is believed to destroy the life of grace and charity within a person. Mortal sin, by attacking the vital principle within us – that is, charity – necessitates a new initiative of God’s mercy and venial sin, a classification of vices (part of Christian ethics) that has been used since early Christian times to educate and instruct Christians concerning fallen humanity’s tendency to sin. In the currently recognized version, the sins are usually given as wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony. Each is a form of Idolatry-of-Self wherein the subjective reigns over the objective.
Beginning in the early 14th century, the popularity of the seven deadly sins as a theme among European artists of the time eventually helped to ingrain them in many areas of Catholic culture and Catholic consciousness in general throughout the world. One means of such ingraining was the creation of the mnemonic acronym “SALIGIA” based on the first letters in Latin of the seven deadly sins: superbia, avaritia, luxuria, invidia, gula, ira, acedia.
[Refugee Resettlement] Most people in our country know nothing about this. This is happening in other developed countries as well. Ask yourself who is behind this? Who would benefit from such takeovers? Video
bill-bush[Captain doom and Gloom] DEF: Oxymoron n, a retarded redneck.
DEF: Folks n. A primitive word for People
DEF: SPAM n. A food as cheap as its advertising
DEF: Glasses n. Things they make you wear to fix bad eyesight because the profit margin is higher than corrective surgery.
DEF: Drone n, Something that photographs you shooting it down.
DEF: Security n. A misguided control factor for the heard of sheep.
DEF: Cork n. A primitive method of plugging obsolete wine bottles.
DEF: Wine n. Blood of dead grapes left to rot and taste terrible.
DEF: Obese n. The result of frustrated oral sex.
DEF: Bellybutton n. That which helps Frenchman navigate.
DEF: Key West n, An area derived from misadventures.
DEF: France n. The new Iraq with waterfront properties.
DEF: Europe n, A place where old Rulers keep their money under their castles!
DEF: China n. A region where birth control is not a hobby.
DEF: Mexico n, A misplaced conglomeration of exit signs
[Cheapskate] I called around for a price to get some work done on my house trailer and out of six contractors the lowest was $45 per hour. You guys must be retired lawyers or politicians?
veterans day bear salutesWojtek the soldier bear of WWII. Video
Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com

national politics an(Click here)