Saturday, October 3, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

national politics an(Click here)
vote for me31[Elect Me] Vote for my three point platform.

  1. If I’m elected I will strengthen the first Amendment’s separation of church and state. No longer will government cater to any religion. No more Christmas mangers on government property. No more Lord’s Prayer in courthouses. No more wearing of the “veil” concealing one’s identity. No more refusing to obey the law for religious reasons. No more praying towards Mecca on public property. All those things will be permitted and even encouraged on private property, but no longer on government property. If you want to be American you must follow the law of the land or retreat to private property where you may do as your religion compels you. No more tax exemptions for religious institutions. If they cannot support themselves they should meet in someone’s living room or garage for free. No longer will we cater to religious customs on public property. Our Constitution is a very great document and should be followed no matter who is affected. On a more serious note:
  2. No more pennies–those coins whose copper is worth more than their intrinsic value. Pennies are a waste of space and time.
  3. All air conditioning filters must be the same size.
I was in Europe where my smartphone provider wouldn’t work. If I bought a SIM card there, would I be able to switch it with the phone’s ATT card? Would I be able to make calls then with the new number I had?
ostrich head sand[Bang You’re Dead] There have been 274 days so far this year and there have been 294 mass shootings so far this year. The Second Amendment folks don’t see any relationship that involvs guns. They think it would be easier to identify all the crazy people in America than to better regulate guns. This is truly a perverted society we live in
Fidel Castro’s wife’s maiden name was Daz-Balart. Was she related to the Miami Congressman Mario Diaz-Balart who was so against Castro and Cuba?
microsoft-open-source-communist

 

This is not today’s Microsoft. Now, that stogie CEO Steve Ballmer is gone, Microsoft embraces open-source software.

Happy October! We have a hurricane working it’s way up the east coast but I don’t care. I’ve got my generator ready and I’m putting a TV antenna up in the loft (my 3rd floor workshop). The fridge is full and I don’t have to go anywhere until Wednesday. Be careful out there..
Computer-vs.-Energy-Tech
[Terrific Traffic] In Beijing, there are companies that can help you get out of traffic. The price is $60 which includes getting picked up by someone riding a motorcycle and getting dropped off at your desired location. Someone else takes your place standing in traffic in your car, after which they drop the car back off at your house.
Correct-Lifting-Posture

 

Correct lifting posture.

[Cudjoe Regional Wastewater Settlement Agreement] The settlement agreement crafted by the individual petitioners has been approved by FKAA, DEP and now the County Commission. It is final. Congratulations and thank you to all of you for your help. We will continue to assist the association petitioners as we have previously but this settlement secures us the deep well, limited use of the shallow wells until the deep well is built, and restricted discharge to the shallow wells until the deep well is operational. Also, once the deep well is operational, under our settlement agreement, the shallow wells can never again be used as a primary means of effluent disposal. None of this could be achieved by winning the lawsuit, only by settling, so we are very pleased. Thank you again.
bever9
[Bigot] I was wondering if anybody has ever heard this comment. “I’m not racist but …” The last one was by a trailer dweller I overheard at a bar that followed up with the comment, “I’m part Indian.” Why do most white trash rednecks that I have heard that comment from tend to claim Indian heritage? An answer I have yet to find. Oh, and most claim to be Cherokee? Really? Ok.
Hopeless-Generation

 

The hopeless generation.

[Hall To Let] Now that the former Lower Keys Property Owners Association has disbanded and sold their building on Bogie Drive in BPK, does anyone know of a similar hall available for rent for a private dinner function? We would consider anything from Marathon to Cudjoe but prefer BPK. Looking for any day in first week of February. Please post reply on the CT. Thanks!
slide

 

An indoor slide to take you to the bottom floor in a shopping mall in Malaysia. Wheee!

It sure seems to me that the politicians look at the FKAA, the Mosquito Control District, the school system and the airport as their own private piggy banks. Just shake them a little and get what you need.
allison-quad

 

4 Allison V-12 engines!

Sundiver Snorkel Tours earns sanctuary Blue Star certification. Link
Hurricane-Prediction

 

Hurricane path predictions.

[“Amateur Hour”] God, I hate it when Ed posts stuff from blondes!.
brown-waterLook at that shit-colored water! I’ve never seen the near shore water so nasty-looking. Not even after the Wilma flood. This photo was taken across from the bathrooms and pump station at Long Key State Park. The shoreline at Layton looked identical. By MM 71, the shore water was back to normal color. Layton and the Long Key Park have been on central sewer since 2006. The treatment plant is at the old dump between the two, and spews its effluent, good or bad, down shallow wells near the Oceanside of their unlined trash mountain. With all the recent rainfall, my bet is that the plant was overwhelmed by excessive incoming from inflows. Are we seeing the color of untreated sewage effluent discharged via shallow well through landfill leachate into the bay? The color and location of this localized yuck suggest it.
The Coconut Telegraph is still great to a point, but its National Politics section sucks. Having to sign in and expose yourself is dangerous. I can see Ed posting peoples’ email address if the post has slanderous statements, but not with political opinions. The Coconut Telegraph took a nose dive in my book!.
sploof[Pot Smell] Make a sploof. Me and my friends always refer to it as a Jesus because it kind of looks like the tube is wearing a hat thingy from the bible (burnoose). Take a toilet paper roll, fill it with dryer sheets, wrap one dryer sheet around the end and blow your smoke through it from the open end. Smoke comes out smelling a little bit like weed, but mainly like dryer sheet. Then just keep your piece near the window, seal the bottom of the door, and blaze.

If you just can’t make it outside or find a window, try vaping the closet or blowing the vapor underneath a blanket.  Vapor doesn’t stick to clothes like smoke does, there is far less particles in the vapor to attach to the material.  That does not mean you will be 100% free from residual smells but you will be better off than you would have been smoking a blunt, the difference is not even close.

Vaping brings a bunch of different benefits to the table and being less stinky is definitely one of them. If you are about to go out on a date and he/she doesn’t know you get high the last thing you want to do is light up a joint in the car on the way to dinner. The Palm vaporizer is perfect for these situations, grind up some herbs before you leave for the date and get the vaporizer loaded.  Then wash your hands and grab some perfume or cologne for later.  You will be free to vape at your leisure throughout the date thanks to “bathroom breaks” or “important phone calls” you have to take outside.

If you are really worried about the smell you can mask it with a little bit of the fragrance you brought with you, if not just hop back inside and enjoy the rest of the night.  Places like the movies where you will be sitting close together all night can be a bit trickier, one suggestion would be to grab a huge tub of popcorn.  Like I mentioned before the smell of vaped weed is very similar to popcorn so it is pretty much the perfect disguise. Link

AARP’s October calendar of events is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
coffin over the hill

 

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

[Stealth Drug Stop] The MCSO will now be using this random drug testing method from the Australian police. Video
[Sarcasm] “Rednecks get very upset if you care for the environment or alternative energy. They use insulting language to try to make your argument look foolish.” Very true. I was in a local bar advocating wind and solar power. A huge, hairy, redneck biker stood up, walked over to me, got in my face and said, “Your Mama wears combat boots”. I was certainly insulted as he didn’t even know my mother or her shoe wearing preferences. Now if he would have said something like the payback for these power alternatives is around 10-15 years without government incentives, then I would have really been offended.
1-fish2-fish3-fish[Female Anglers Take Top Prizes in Backcountry Challenge] Thanks to a remarkable collaboration of over 100 Florida Keys businesses who donated cash and auction items, the 16th Annual Take Stock in Children Backcountry Challenge once again netted over $30,000 for local scholarships.

Over 160 people attended the September 27 awards party at the Elks Club in Tavernier catered by the Key Largo Conch House, which featured a live auction by James “Doc” Boilini. The ladies swept this year’s awards. Jennifer Kent of St. Petersburg, Florida was named 2015 KLI Grand Slam Champion with a 75.25 inches combined length of snook, trout and redfish. She was guided by Captain Lain Goodwin of Key Largo.

Christy Ehrman of Key Largo landed the 1st Place Trout at 20 inches as well as the 1st Place Snook at 30.75 inches. She was guided by Captain Tom Tafoya. The longest redfish, 30.75 inches, was caught by Kim VanCampen of Williamsport, PA, guided by Capt. George Clark, Jr.

Captain Goodwin was named Top Guide for 2015 with combined species length of 77.75 inches. Captain Brian Premaza of Key Largo won the Professional Division with total combined length of 57.25 inches.

Mitch Martinez of Miami Springs landed 2nd place trout with his 19-inch catch, guided by Captain Jim Hobales andJennifer Kent had the 3rd place trout at 18.75 inches. Ken Mausolf of Key Largo, guided by Captain Jonny McBride, caught the second place, 28-inch long redfish and Grand Slammer Jennifer Kent’s third place redfish was 28 inches long.Gene Kent of St. Petersburg, Florida, caught the second place snook, 30.5 inches, guided by Captain Goodwin, and self-guided Eric Rundgren of Key Largo, received the third place award for a 30.25 inch snook.

For anglers ages 17 and under, self-guided Josh Gregis of Tavernier landed the longest redfish, which was 21 inches long.Paul DiMare III of Miami, Florida, guided by Captain Chris Hanson, caught both the longest snook, 33.75 inches, and longest trout at 19.75 inches. Anthony Cappiello of Boca Raton, guided by Captain Jeremy Mathis, had the longest combined length of all three species

set your clock back

 

 

Daylight Saving – movie trailer. Just when you thought it was safe. Video

Reading the newspapers and watching TV it appears that the government and police today simply make up whatever crime they think you have committed and arrest you for it. Like ‘Objection to police questions’, ‘Didn’t say Please to the Officer’ ‘Soiled the Officer’s Boot after being kicked’ ‘Did not have underwear on for his mug shot’. Or whatever the Nazi want’s to write on the arrest sheet. So much for the Constitution which most law enforcers haven’t read anyway!
palms-in-snow

 

[Winter] I didn’t have the ceiling fan on last night and I had to put on a shirt. I think winter is coming.

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