Saturday, January 2, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

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good-timeSpringer’s Bar & Grill this week

Every Saturday & Sunday / Brunch 8am – 2pm

Every Tuesday Evening / Bluegrass Jam Circle 6:30pm – All Grinners & Pickers / No Experience Necessary

Thursday 12/31/2015 Ring in the New Year with Springer. Watch Springer drop the deer at midnight.98.7 Conch Country will be here 6pm – 8pm to raffle off 2 more tickets to Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood .  Comedy and Music by Mike Hack.

Saturday 1/2/2016 The Punkabillys – Southern Most Moonshine Drinking Gospel

Sunday NFL Ticket – Watch all your favorite games LIVE

Friday 1/8 Live Music featuring 4 Sheets To The Wind. Dancing Music –  They play a little bit of everything

Saturday 1/9 + 1/16 + 1/23 + 1/30 The Megan Ellis Band. Those of you that know them can’t wait to see them again and those who don’t ….Y’all come down to join us for an evening of great music. Check them out www.themeganellisband.com

[Low Slung] I noticed that as we get older our bodies tend to follow a particular pattern: everything gets bigger, harrier and closer to the ground.
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[Investing] Anyone wishing to start a savings and/or an investment program for themselves should check out these two online options. WealthFront and LearnVest. Do your due diligence and see if one of them can do what you need to have done. Yes, they do charge a fee, but it is marginal compared to the other advisors. I did look at them and if I were younger I would have given them a real shot. I have no skin in the game with them.
tourist explorer waving

 

[Snowbird Infestation] As someone commented earlier, this crop of snowbirds is a different strain. They seem to have more attitude than usual.

AARP’s January calendar is here. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
bosco

 

 

Did you know that Bosco chocolate syrup was the “blood” in the famous shower scene in Psyco. Bosco Jingle

Lay off Murrays Market (they should change it to Mo-Rays). They provide a great service for us, especially at this time of year-and the people working there are great. If I need something, I don’t have to endure the unwashed masses and long lines at the WD.
an_old_man_angryI saw FTR working on his lawn in Port Pine Heights the other day. He was shaking his fists yelling, “You kids get off my lawn.” Never mind the fact that there were no kids around. FTR has never let the facts get in the way of a good story. By the way, where has he been lately? His spot on the CT has been vacant and the liberals are taking over.
Does anyone know someone who does vinyl siding?
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[Crooks] The FKAA is already charging people for out going water to the sewer system, and my street in not even connected to the main suck pipe. I know there are many people suing, but what is the latest poop on this? How can a private company charge people for nothing? That is like going to a food store and being charged for an empty shopping cart just because they have no products.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! For my New Year’s card this year I unabashedly plagiarize Dave Barry: As the old year finally staggers to a close, Americans set aside their differences, if only briefly, and join together in the cherished, time-honored tradition of pretending that New Year’s Eve is fun. So let’s raise a glass to toast the demise of 2015. Then let’s set the glass down untasted, in case Heaven forbid it contains gluten. Then let’s go to bed.
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[Snowbirds] It is that time again to light up the Keys. I am not referring to holiday lights but rather to the snowbirds who are so afraid of the dark that they turn on every outside light and leave them all on night. What are these people afraid of? Iguanas? Deer? Locals?
anniversary felix 304h

 

 

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful wife Lee Ann.

[Crook] My ex-boss is jerking me around for my last two weeks’ paycheck. Any thoughts on what I could or should do?
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Traffic Advisory: Due to the influx of good intentions from New Year’s resolutions, the Road to Hell is closed for repaving. I trust all of you will find an alternative route.

[Grants] If an artist or sportsman gets a government grant and that grant comes out of my income taxes, can I sue?
love heart wings[Dating Sites] I decided to see if there were any appealing, unattached ladies in the area beyond those falling off bar stools in the local watering holes so I tried some dating sites. What I found were mostly a lot of fraudulent schemes to begin charging your credit card. On one site (Ourtime), that lets you browse before subscribing, I found the profile of a friend who moved 6 hours away months ago and is living with a guy. The site said she was online recently, lives on Big Pine, and works at a restaurant. That was all wrong about 3 years ago! I tried Match.com twice before and discovered that most of the people you see are not subscribers so they cannot read any message you might send them, or see who it came from, or even reply that you could not see the message. However, the non-subscribers will get an email from Match telling them how thrilled people are with their profile and how “the one” may have just sent a message. For a mere $30 they can discover it is some old pervert in Utah writing with a whiskey bottle in one hand and not making much sense.

The big exception in dating sites is Plenty Of Fish (pof.com) which charges absolutely nothing for all the basic functions, does not put your email out for spam, and lets you sort by activity date within the distance radius you select and other filters. I have used it before, as have friends, and have never heard a complaint about the site (only about the dates). OKCupid is also pretty good, just not many people on there, and if you decide you want to go invisible for a while, they either want money or there are restrictions. If you try one of these sites, I recommend POF.com.

Although there are a lot of good people out there just trying to meet someone outside their usual circle, remember that not everyone on these sites is sincere or even safe, so use some sense. That goes for you too, Dude. Good luck! Link

muslim-umbrellas

 

[Different Cultures] I spent 30 minutes talking to them to learn more about their culture until the barman told me they were umbrellas.

[Jersey Girls] While sitting in the parking lot at Winn-Dixie, I noticed that the Jersey girls have arrived! They are easy to identify right now. They are either snow white or beet red, a tattoo or two, and blabbing nonstop.
bridge-summerland

 

Why is this footbridge still on the side of the road on Summerland Key or there-abouts?

Chef Carl teaching a class. Teacher of the Year of Marathon High School. Video
shave barber

 

How do men with cleft chins or dimples shave in there?

There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you all about them.
cannon blast ballThere was about one gun to each thousand men, and these were generally in batteries of four guns each. Each gun, caisson, and forges was drawn by four teams of horses. We had in all about twenty-five hundred wagons, with teams of six mules to each, and six hundred ambulances, with two horses to each. The loads were made comparatively light, about twenty-five hundred pounds net; each wagon carrying in addition the forage needed by its own team: Each soldier carried on his person forty rounds of ammunition, and in the wagons were enough cartridges to make up about two hundred rounds per man, and in like manner two hundred rounds of assorted ammunition were carried for each gun. The wagon-trains were divided equally between the four corps, so that each had about eight hundred wagons, and these usually on the march occupied five miles or more of road. Each corps commander managed his own train. ~General William Tecumseh Sherman
How’s it going Deer Ed? Have you got your stiches removed yet from the castration operation? We sure miss the old CT and freedom of new-speak!
ftr from the right 75h[FTR] Yessir…..Obama is a great President…just great. But he’s not great simply because of his magnetic personality….he’s great, really great because of his Progressive theories of governance.  At least he’s been a great President for the enemies of the United States and all that it stands for. (continued on the National Politics page …)
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national politics an(Click here)