Saturday, August 15, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com
(Ed: Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)

national politics an(Click here)
dolphin-joe-saraOff shore fishing can be “iffy”. A good fisherman doing everything right can have a tuff day even getting skunked. If you’re not up for a long hard day it can be very disappointing. That’s off shore fishing. The reef is more predictable, good bottom, chum, light lines, fluorocarbon leaders, live bait, and you’re going to get some action, if not, move the boat, go to another spot.

Well my friends, this week has been very good on the reef & off shore. I have been stopping at the reef to catch dinner in the morning before it gets to warm, then running off shore to cool off. Once you get out to 750′ it’s been good, very good. I have 5 days of fishing before my season is over for a few months. This has been a very nice way to end it. Tight lines, sharp hooks, good knots and blessings for all of you!

[Crooks] Two influential Miami developers once heralded by Florida Keys officials for building affordable housing now face federal charges that they illegally inflated building costs and fleeced tens of millions from taxpayers regarding projects on the mainland. The Carlisle Development Group — one of the largest affordable housing constructors in the nation — built the $16 million, 102-unit Meridian West affordable housing apartments on Shrimp Road in 2004, as well as the $23 million, 84-unit Sea Grape Apartments at 7159 Overseas Highway in 2010.

They also had sights on developing Harris School property on Southard Street in Key West as well as other properties in the Florida Keys.

Federal prosecutors allege company CEO Matthew Greer and company founder Lloyd Boggio stole at least $36 million via illegally gained federal tax credits through 14 government-subsidized housing projects in Miami-Dade County.

t-22

 

[Confession] As a former FKAA employee this ?might? Have been part of my job description. 40,000 gallons short of 1 million as required by statute. Makes you wonder. Yes I did!

[Regulation] Too many people tell others what they can or cannot do with their body and life! Abortion for example is no bodies business except the women’s!
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Key Deer lack the gut microbes necessary to digest carbohydrates. So don’t feed them any starchy food.
1956-Cadillac-Viewmaster-Wagon

 

1956 Cadillac station wagon.

[Cisterns] In Key West, any new residential building is required to include a 1,000-gallon cistern, according to city codes adopted in 2013 as part of the island’s plans to install more environmental protections.

Assuming the 1,000-gallon cistern is fully used each month, a homeowner can save up to $1,297 a year and pay off the construction cost within two years, according to city staff reports. Cisterns not only save rainwater for plant watering and car and boat washing but in Key West also help reduce possible street flooding by containing rainfall.

eskimo barbecue 272h

[Shopping in Alaska] Living in the Alaska Bush has its drawbacks. Sure, we get great hunting and fishing, and the summer days are great, but living here will cost you. This video gives you a very quick, couple of minutes view of the cost of groceries here in Bethel, Alaska. Video

[America or Somalia] You might be surprised. Americans are way too nice. People like this should be sent back home. Minneapolis take heed! Video
time machine

[Time Warp] Deer Ed, Envious of how you can lose track of days and make the 12th be the 9th! Time Warp Video

The best time to reexamine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.
epa11The EPA f**ked up the river in Colorado with deadly contaminates from an abandoned mine they were working on. If a private entity had caused that disaster the EPA would be all over them, fine them heavily and try to send them to jail. So what punishment will the EPA get?
I wish the President would pass a real law that says everybody is absolutely responsible for their actions no matter what. This generation is getting too many anti-everything kooks who look for anything to bitch and moan about or worse, sue somebody for things that are none of their business.
texting8

One of the bad things about texting is people are forgetting the English language and how to read and write, and at 70 MPH that is a bit nuts!

If you win a lottery for big money, can you share it with your friends and family by issuing them credit cards instead of giving them cash to save on taxes?
diving into toilet 359h

Why can’t I have my septic tank and the sewer hook-up? If the power goes off the sewer plant stops and so does my ability to flush. If the water stops the sewer stops too, except if I can turn a diverter valve and use some rain or sea water to flush into my forty year old and still working fine septic tank! Give me a good reason why I cannot have this valve! And I do not want to hear, “Just because we say so!”

Reason#1: Because its contaminating the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. You wanted a reason, there, now you have one!

Reason#2: And what will the shallow and deep holes do to the underground wawa? flavor it?

[Point and Shoot Cameras?] Lily is the world’s first throw-and-shoot camera. Video
toilet drain[“Grinder pump location”] You do realize that your house has a three or four inch waste pipe coming out of it and into your septic tank. This is your starting point. For practical purposes the grinder pump should be near this. And near a 220 power source. Left, right, center are determined by this. Thank god I have gravity. Just have them put the damn thing close to your waste pipe and not in the middle of a driveway. And good luck!
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
ducck-map

 

I just realized that the Americas sideways look like a duck.

Money is like beer goggles for chicks.
harper-lee17

In the literary event of the year Harper Lee’s explosive second novel has finally been published. Believed lost for decades after the publication of ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’, this book revisits much-loved characters, this time through adult eyes. This abridgement for Book at Bedtime brings a compelling and important release to Radio 4 much-loved characters, this time through adult eyes. Audio

[Change is Bad–Keep Obsolete Computers] It is a riot, now the computer marketers are pushing desktops again as a better way to get work done instead of laptops. iPads are just game toys and scratch pads.

They push us to buy new operating systems, new processors, more ram, and super fast solid state hard drives that don’t work well and now it’s back to the old desktop work stations.

condom with sunglasses

In the 1500’s the Arabs invented condoms using goat rectums.  !n the 1550’s the Europeans found that removing them from the goat first worked better!

At my age, rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off the floor is the hard part.
bill-bc15
[Jersey Girl Pick-up lines] “Hey babe, I got a six pack of Busch and 4 extra large pizzas.”
“You’re not the best lookin’ babe in the joint but beauty’s only a light switch away.”
“Your eyes are as blue s Windex”
“You’re prettier than a beer truck.”
“Baby, you’re finer than a fresh bucket of bait.”
“Did you fart?  Cause you blew me away.
angry birdsI always wonder if the programs I install have spyware in them especially the freeware. You can never know if a simple program has sub-routines to send someone all your information. As soon as you plug into that wall or use WiFi they might own you! (Ed: This is especially prevalent with phone apps, especially the popular game Angry Birds.)
Tell them to put their sewer equipment in the street like they put all the city of Marathon’s sewer equipment. They are guilty of extortion! Let the court decide how much money the county (owners of the turd grinders)  have to pay you to use your private property. It’s not the FKAA that owns the turd grinder. The FKAA is a contractor working for Monroe County. The FKAA can be replaced. Good luck. On advice from my attorney  I’m letting the court decide where the turd grinder goes.
elephant-donkey clothed

 

[NATIONAL POLITICS] Just for fun I clicked on the National Politics link at the bottom of the CT. It was anything but fun, just a pissing contest for people who like to see their words in print. Ed, you should warn people that this link is not for the fainthearted. Never again shall I venture into that cesspit.
“Battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster; and if you gaze into the abyss the abyss gazes into you.”  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

[“Grinder pumps and gravity feeds”] Both are useless eaters of poo, but a closed vacuum system will work anywhere and never pollute the oceans. But, oh no, we cannot have that because we would have to redesign the Keys for bigger and better hotels and rich people’s mansions and buy up all the Lower Keys properties to build more yacht basins after we dig the canals and water ways deeper and and and … It is all about money.
spalding batIf the FKAA starts billing me for nothing and I have to hire a lawyer (out of state of course) I know one named Mr Spalding who never fails to even out a problem. He’s from the Bronx and has lots of helpers who love to fix politicians and greedy corporate rulers
[“Don’t believe folks are that stupid“] Folks are that stupid, but people are not.
bill-drone9

 

[Captain Doom and Gloom] Crooks not, but bubbas, yes. The Florida Keys are a mini utopia for local bubbas and their families who are politicos or friends with politicos in business. It’s the way the world goes around and the dumb peasants keep paying taxes and more taxes to feed these sharks! Who’s the fool now?

[Time Warp] Deer Ed, Thanks for posting another great CT on Wednesday.  The date should be changed to August 12 not 9.
tompstone-cynic
Bruce Jenner must be Catholic because he is the perfect altered boy!
eagle assault rifle[Taking of Property] Since the Cudjoe Regional Wastewater System is an EPA federally funded project, is the requirement for “grinder pump citizens” to give up part of their property under threat of penalties a “taking” of property by the Federal Government and in violation of the Fifth Amendment?

Attention – All minority, low income and disabled citizens of Monroe County, Florida
-Statement of Fact – The EPA provided funding through the Clean Water State Revolving Fund program to the State of Florida for the Cudjoe Regional Wastewater System.
-Statement of Fact – The EPA did not comply or assure compliance with the National Environmental Act (NEPA) and no environmental analysis was performed.
-Statement of Fact – One of the legal requirements of NEPA is to address Environmental Justice concerns to assure that minority and low income citizen are not adversely impacted financially or discriminated against by a federally funded project – even a project partly funded by a federal program.
-Statement of Fact – The EPA failed to address and mitigate Environmental Justice issues for minority, low income and disabled citizens of Monroe County
-Statement of Fact – The United States Commission on Civil Rights states that it is unlawful to:
-discriminate against an individual in any program or activity that is conducted in a facility constructed wholly or partly with federal funds
-provide only inferior or discriminatory service, aid, or benefits;
-subject an individual to segregation or different treatment in relation to aid, service, or benefits.
-treat an individual differently in regard to eligibility for programs or services

If you feel you are the subject of discrimination or will be financially impacted as a result of the failure of the EPA to meet its legal requirements regarding the Cudjoe Regional Wastewater System, I urge you to file a complaint with the following agency.

U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, Office of Civil Rights, 1200 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Room 2540, Washington, DC 20460, (800) 424-9346, www.epa.gov

[Phishing] I recently was trying to enter a daily free giveaway contest, which I had done many times before; the other day my clicks on the appropriate link to enter would not open. After several attempts, a large pop-up appeared and a woman’s voice read a message, saying that the reason that I was having difficulty was because someone had put a virus or spyware in an attempt to trick me into revealing sensitive info. She warned me not to do any online shopping for a while, & that I should call Customer Care at 1-888-479-6340 as soon as I could to remedy the problem. This message was played on a loop & I listened several times. I was afraid to phone, so I didn’t. Has anyone else had this happen? This is so strange, because I have an iMac & never receive the junk that I used to when I had a run-of-the-mill PC.
no-name-temp-lightI got tired of waiting seeing red. No Name Bridge temporary traffic signal seemed stuck. The car behind me just ran the red, of course by luck a car was coming the other way. I sat there for 3-4 minutes until I pulled up much closer to the temporary light rig, and it turned green in about 1 1/2 minutes. I don’t see red anymore. Live and learn.
I can feel it in my feet – – I can feel it in my heart – – I can feel that get down beat and I know that’s just the start.  —Tedeschi Trucks Band.
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[Boondocks Is Full Of It] Reacting to a complaint by the environmental crusader, Monroe County Department of Health (DOH) has now issued a notice to The Boondocks to cease and desist. According to the DOH ‘Notice of Violation‘, the restaurant’s septic system was based on maximum seating for 65. DOH however counted 207 seats during their recent inspection. DOH estimates that the Boondocks is producing 8,280 gallons of wastewater every day. The onsite septic systems built for the restaurant have a combined capacity of only 1500 gallons a day. “That is clearly an impossible situation,” says the crusader, “It’s like trying to empty 10 gallons of milk into a one gallon milk jug. Link
design9

 

Urban designers take note.

[Politically Correct] An Italian Pizzeria in NYC is producing a pizza that has been declared racist. Actually it is called a Pic-A-Nika (kind of Italian for picnic) & is a best seller. It is made of, Southern fried chicken, baby arugula, sea salted watermelon, goat cheese, ricotta, blue cheese, & a crust of sesame seed flower. Sounds tasty to me. What next? And how did we make it this far?

It is said that political correctness will destroy America. With what’s been going on lately it just illustrates the path. First a vocally active part of the 13% of Americans decided their sensitivities were offended by the stars & bars flag because it represented slavery. It must be banned. Statues of famous war heroes must be removed. Now, just recently, P.Cers has declared that the word Dixie offends their sensitivities and want the word Dixie banned. I wonder what will happen when it is brought to their attention that old glory, the stars & stripes, all flew over a country where its leaders were slave owners and slavery was normal business of the day. When the stars & stripes are banned & George Washington is removed from the capitol dome, what will replace them? America I knew you, then.

fish floping[Keys Snapper Francaise]
4 Snapper fillets (6 ounces each)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
3/4 cup flour
4 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice
2/3 cup chicken broth
1/4 cup fresh parsley, finely chopped
Non-stick cooking spray
2 medium skillets, heatedPlace flour in a shallow dish. Place beaten eggs in a separate dish. Dredge fish in flour and shake off any excess. Dip both sides of the fish in egg wash. Spray both skillets with cooking spray. Cook fish until golden brown on both sides (about 2 minutes per side). Transfer fish to a plate and tent loosely with foil to keep warm. In second skillet, melt the butter over medium-high heat. Whisk in 2 tablespoons flour into the butter until smooth and no lumps remain. Add the chicken broth and bring to a hard simmer and simmer, stirring constantly, until the sauce thickens (about 2 minutes. Stir in the parsley. Spoon sauce over the fish and serve. Season again with salt and pepper to taste if desired. Spoon sauce over the fish and serve. Accompany with yellow rice and a green salad.

The best snapper to ever go past your lips.

[Christian Taliban] Church opens gun range ministry ‘in the name of Jesus Christ’. Video
[Drive-Through] When McDonald’s first introduced drive-throughs to China, the concept was so foreign that many people would pick up their food through the drive-thru, park their cars, and bring the food inside the restaurant to eat it.
Feeding-The-Squirrels
[Reduced Seating] Boondocks must have not paid off a bubba to get smacked down with a sewer fine and have to close off 2/3 of their seating. It will be forgotten in three days anyway!
titz

 

 

Friends are like boobs. You’ve got big ones, small ones, real ones and fake ones.

NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary is seeking applicants for nine seats on its advisory council. The council ensures public participation in sanctuary management and provides advice to the sanctuary superintendent. Applications are due Sept. 30. To receive an application kit, or for further information, please contact council coordinator Beth Dieveney via email at beth.dieveney@noaa.govor by phone at 305-809-4700 ext. 228, or by mail at Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary, 33 East Quay Rd., Key West, FL  33040. Application kits may also be downloaded from the sanctuary’s website, http://floridakeys.noaa.gov.
menu-Bob's-Big-Boy-1965

 

Bob’s Big Boy menu from 1965

[Lower Unit Crooks] The best way to stop your boat parts from disappearing is to wire the metal parts with 220 volts! The only problem is cleaning up the mess!
for sale house

 

[House for sale by owner] 3 bedroom 2 bath open water sunset with deck and pool, new AC, new W/D, new tile $610K 305-304-7217

Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com

national politics an(Click here)