Friday, November 29, 2019

Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Jim and Ann Young] 27 years ago I sold my restaurant and little flea market in Michigan. I carefully watched all the market vendors. I saw what sold well and what didn’t. I packed up and moved to Big Pine. When I met Jim Young the owner of the flea market, I thought he was the meanest man I ever met.

I try to learn something from everyone I meet. From him I learned that you can get rich with zero communication abilities. He got older and nicer. For the last 10 years of his life he was one of the kindest men I ever met. The whole time his wife was like an angel. She was more than just a mom and grandma. She gave me better advice than any mom could ever do.

Now, sad to say both of them have passed away. The flea market is now sold. Their legacy has changed dramatically. There is a new owner at the flea market. Joe is a Cape Cod kind of guy. We wish him the best, but the market will never be the same without Jim there yelling about dogs crapping in roads and people throwing trash in the parking lot and raising his blood pressure by cars driving thru pedestrian areas at 30 miles an hour. There are some characters of the keys that can never be replaced and Jim and Ann young are all that. I miss them. ~Cindy Cody

 

Two ships took the first Pilgrims to America, the Mayflower and the smaller Speedwell. The Mayflower held the Pilgrims in contempt and did nothing to comfort their voyage. The captain of the Speedwell held them in worse contempt and tightened all the lines until, a week out of Plymouth, England the tightening had the desired effect and the Speedwell sprung leaks and had to return to England. The Speedwell’s passengers then had to squeeze into the Mayflower for their two month winter voyage across the North Atlantic.

 

[Before the Sanctuary] Ahh, the days when we had fishermen. We could afford fresh fish back then before the Sanctuary. 70% of us voted no to creating the Marine Sanctuary. They created it anyway! That’s when we found out our vote only counts when we vote how they want us to. 70% were against it from fear of what it would become—another bureaucracy holding endless meetings, spending endless money and accomplishing endless nothings. 20 years later the reef is still dying and the ocean is still cloudy.

Commercial: “Do you suffer from iron-poor blood?” Not so fast with the Geritol, old-timer. In spite of the 12% alcohol appeal. An iron supplement is a really bad idea for most people, but you are probably getting some in packaged foods whether you want it or not. Two forms in common use have been linked so strongly to colon cancer that further research with humans has been suspended. The mice were not so lucky. The two forms tested were ferric citrate and ferric EDTA. Both are common food additives and sometimes added to multi-vitamins.
[Number of Deer] It’s hard to believe the Deer Refuge refused the offer from Save Our Key Deer to survey the deer population with aerial infrared cameras at no cost to the Refuge. Bureaucracy in action, or should I say non-action.

 

[Aquarium Leak] I’ve got a friend whose 160-gallon aquarium failed and she’s trying hard to quickly come up with a way to save her fish.  She’s looking for anyone who has an aquarium (30 gallons or more) who would be willing to loan it to her or sell it cheap as a temporary solution until she replaces the big tank.  If you can help, please call (305) 515-2759 and leave a message.  Thanks.

[Stanley in Africa 1889] The pigmy’s who, in order to make their villages inaccessible, have resorted to every means of defense suggested to wild men by the nature of their lives. They have planted skewers along their paths, and cunningly hidden them under an apparently stray leaf, or on the lee side of a log, by striding over which the naked foot is pierced, and the intruder is either killed from the poison smeared on the tops of the skewers, or lamed for months. They have piled up branches, and have formed abattis of great trees, and they lie in wait behind with sheaves of poisoned arrows, wooden spears hardened in fire, and smeared with poison.

 

Cremation was the preferred thing to do with a dead body until Christianity came along and the Catholic Church stopped the practice in case the body was resurrected. In 1980 less than 10% were cremated, now it’s 53%. That figure will increase as the baby boomers die off because they remember the Church ban and think cremation is wrong. The same goes for legalizing marijuana. As soon as the boomers die, pot will be legalized because Boomers still think pot is like heroin.

When did they take the glassine window out of #10 envelopes?

 

[Brainwashing Kids] I just connected my 32 inch desktop monitor and downloaded an Android OS as a second operating system so my kid could play games on a large screen. After realizing how sick these games are and how they are brainwashing kids into criminals and potential killers, I disconnected everything. He is not allowed to play those mind benders ever again. No wonder we have such bent people running around this rock! TV is next.

[Deep Thinking] The sea refuses no river.

 

 

[Chillin’ in the Keys] Sitting outside around sunset in a nice breeze, with a nice buzz on, is a wonderful feeling I can attest to.

[Gas Prices] If there ever was any debate that the guy who owns the three Shell stations in the Lower Keys is not a bloodsucker, it’s been put to rest.  The station on Summerland, where the Dion’s has posted a lower price, is selling gas for $2.69 a gallon.  On Ramrod and on Big Pine (where the owners of the Tom Thumb are just as greedy) the gas is priced at $2.79 a gallon. I can’t believe that anyone would support a business which blatantly rips off its customers like this guy does.
[Climate Change] The Keys face huge and looming bill to survive sea rise. They’re asking Florida for help. Link

 

[New Name] If I had a daughter, I’d name her Pixel. It’s a modern name that envisions a cute little pixie

[Politics] Give the people something to hate and they will do anything for you.

 

 

[Climate Change] 82 days underwater. Bill Marlow, who lives in the Stillwright Point neighborhood in Key Largo, Fla., crossing the street in front of his house. I’m glad climate change is a hoax. Link

 

 

 

My cat is like a snake. After 13 years I still don’t know when she’ll strike.

[Turkey Day] For those of you from Philly, here’s what was on the menu up there yesterday. Link

 

 

Lower Keys Community Choir & Keys Chamber Orchestra present Shout the Good News! Tuesday, December 10, 2019 from 7:30 p.m. at the Big Pine United Methodist Church.
Wednesday, December 11, 2019 – 7:30 p.m. at Venture Qut, Cudjoe Key
Thursday, December 12, 2019 – 7:00 p.m. at San Pablo Catholic Church, Marathon
A free-will offering will be taken.

Ray Bradbury‘s Tales of the Bizarre – Series 1, I Sing the Body Electric. Audio
Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of different perspectives? Because if not, there’s absolutely no point.
The best way to stop this #MeToo is to ask her for a “Paid in Full” receipt after you’re done being serviced. It would also show this is a registered business. Have a great Thanksgiving Day, the lawyers are.
[Friday Joke] Sign posted at a golf club in Scotland, UK
Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
Form a loose grip.
Keep your head down!
Stay out of the water.
Try not to hit anyone.
If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you
Don’t stand directly in front of others.
Quiet please…while others are preparing.
Don’t take extra strokes.
Well done. Now, flush the urinal, go outside, and tee off.
In this season of thanks, I have many things to be grateful for. One of them is wonderful friends and clients like yourself.
Thank you for your friendship, fishing with me and Happy Thanksgiving! Wishing you peace, health, happiness and big fish throughout the year.  ~Capt. Scott Yetter, Sight Fish Charters