October

1 2 3 7

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

national politics an(Click here)
zombie-ride3zombie-ride2zombie-ride

 

[Zombie Ride] Special thanks to MaryAnn and Nancy, the event organizers. Great music by Gary Hempsey too!

Please give Boondocks some slack on their poop problem. They will soon be hooked up to the central system and paying way more than their fair share for sewer service. There are many other hard to find bars and guest cottage operations on BPK with far worse sewerage spill histories than Boondocks. Why is Boondocks singled out and the others ignored? Could it be politics?

Then look in your own backyards at the numerous cesspits (non-septic tanks) that have been polluting our canals. Who complains about them? We will all be hooked up soon enough and our canals will be crystal clear again. Oops, I misspoke, the canals will still be a polluted mess. But we will all be hooked to a sub-standard collection system.

55_strat-1_1

 

[“$400,000 Les Paul guitar”] I was up in Florida last week and saw a 1964 Stratocaster for $13,000 (I have a 1963, that I thought was only worth about $5,000 max). The salesman said he sold at 1955 Strat for $32,000 to a guy in England. They did the whole deal by phone and email.

[The Way We Were] My mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread butter on bread on the same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn’t seem to get food poisoning. Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in ice pack coolers, but I can’t remember getting E-Coli. Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake or at the beach instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.  We all took PE and risked permanent injury with a pair of generic gym shoes instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors that cost as much as a small car. I can’t recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.

We got the cane for doing something wrong at school, they used to call it discipline yet we all grew up to accept the rules and to honor & respect those older than us. We had 50 kids in our class and we all learned to read and write, do math and spell almost all the words needed to write a grammatically correct letter. Funny that!  We all said prayers in school irrespective of our religion, sang the national anthem and no one got upset. Staying in detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention we wish we hadn’t got.  I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.  I just can’t recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations. We weren’t. Oh yeah, and where was the antibiotics and sterilization kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!  We played “King of the Hill” on piles of gravel left on vacant building sites and when we got hurt, mom pulled out the bottle of iodine and then we got our backside spanked. Now it’s a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10 day dose of antibiotics and then mom calls the lawyer to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.  To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that?  We never needed to get into group therapy and/or anger management classes. We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn’t even notice that the entire country wasn’t taking Prozac!

bartender-stealing-dummies
If you read the CT then perhaps you read the article on Oct. 14 titled “Discrimination”, with a picture of a sign on a fence no grinder pumps. If you feel that you are being adversely financially impacted compared to the rest of the county that your civil rights are being denied then I’ll see you at the ACLU meeting Nov. 14 at 11:00, 801 Georgia St. Key West. Be at this next meeting if you agree.
english28
[FKAA] We have had a lot of windy weather but not excessive rain. There have been very high tides so the ground water table is higher than usual and can flow into pipe cracks and poor joints that were previously above water. A resident of Cudjoe Gardens told me that there was a neighborhood sewer lift station alarm light flashing recently. The residents did not worry about it because nobody is connected to the sewer yet, so no chance of an overflow.

Why was the alarm light flashing? Because the water level had risen so high inside the gravity sewer that it lifted the alarm’s float switch. Where did the water come from? Leakage in this brand new sewer? Why didn’t the water get pumped to the treatment plant? Because the new grinder pumps were not working. Why did nobody from FKAA show up for the alarm? Because the radio telemetry that is required by law to notify the utility of impending overflow does not work. Responsible management would make sure the system was free of significant leaks and fully operational before demanding that people connect and abandon their septic tanks. There is not a lot of responsible management at FKAA, is there? Just plenty of greed and ego. Cudjoe folks will be paying their new toilet tax in about 3 weeks, even though the system is illegal, dangerous and malfunctioning.

zombie crawl

2nd Annual Ride of the Living Dead in Big Pine Key. Video

The SunSentinal today asks Marco Rubio to resign from the Senate because he has missed so many votes and he is not doing the people’s work while he’s busy electioneering for another job. Rubio’s response was that a Senator has more to do than vote.

Yeah, Marco, like what, electioneering? I think that any politician should resign his position when he runs for another office. We hire a person to work full time for the people and they take on, what amounts to, another full time job (electioneering). Obama did it and all the other politicians do it. They say government should be run more like a business, well if I hired someone to do a job and they took another job on my dime–that’s un-businesslike and it’s cheating.

ozzie6
 [“400 G’s for Les Paul Guitar”] George Gruhn in Nashville pretty much sets the bar in pricing. As a person, I found him to be a pompous windbag. I preferred talking to Stan Jay from Mandolin Bros on Staten Island.
Stan’s background was that he was a child psychologist. Perfect for a guitar dealer! Sadly, we lost Stan last year. Link
indian archery bow arrow

 

[“Wanted: archery mates”] I shoot a longbow, and have a target at my home on BPK. 305-797-0474. Terry Cassidy shoots also. So does the Sweetwater contractor and Big Pine Craig from Waste Management.

How much do cats kill? Link
ragnar-raceWe’re so glad the commissioners voted to nix the Ragnar race down the Keys. I know our roads get crowded with some events, but nothing and nobody is as disruptive, disrespectful, and arrogant as the Ragnar people. They would regularly stop their support vans right in the middle of US1.They didn’t even spend a dime here. They brought everything they needed with them in the vans. Glad to be rid of the tutu-clad racers.
[Boondocks Sewer] Who is so concerned about Boondocks’ sewer that they keep posting on a moot issue. Shortly they will be connected to central sewers and this issue will disappear. I wonder if their antagonist jealous of their success?
typos-greek-god

 

[Typos] The Greek God of spelling errors.

[Booty Call, I mean Art!] Feu, le nouveau spectacle du Crazy Horse dirigé par Christian Louboutin. Video
bulldozer road

Anybody know when the paving starts for Doctors Arm?

Could someone please tell me if the gun range/store on Big Pine key is open or closed? I know two of the owners were arrested and are awaiting trial, but is the range closed. I heard it was and wasn’t.
gunboat-18th-century[Jeffersonian Mistake] Gun boats worse than useless for war. The main reason for this failure was in the gun-boats themselves. They were utterly useless except in perfectly calm weather, for in any wind the heavy guns caused them to careen over so as to make it difficult to keep them right side up, and impossible to fire. Even in smooth water they could not be fought at anchor, requiring to be kept in position by means of sweeps; and they were very unstable, the recoil of the guns causing them to roll so as to make it difficult to aim with any accuracy after the first discharge, while a single shot hitting one put it hors de combat. This last event rarely happened, however, for they were not often handled with any approach to temerity, and, on the contrary, usually made their attacks at a range that rendered it as impossible to inflict as to receive harm. It does not seem as if they were very well managed; that the best officers might be pardoned for feeling uncomfortable in them. Their operations throughout the war offer a painfully ludicrous commentary on Jefferson’s remarkable project of having our navy composed exclusively of gun boats.
[Domestic Violence Awareness Month]  As part of a national effort to help raise awareness about domestic abuse, UWFK is highlighting the work of our partner agency, the Domestic Abuse Shelter. Link
sun fire

[“UV rays”] I am not sure where you are getting your information about the strength of UV rays in the winter, unless you live in Australia. Link

[“Boondocks sewage”] Just because there are 150 people attending an event doesn’t mean that 150 people are using the bathrooms. Engineers have a term for it called “load diversity”. And as we all have been lead to believe, diversity is always a good thing. Be that as it may, all bets are off on taco night!
electric shaver razon

 

Does anyone use electric shavers any more? They were so popular. I don’t, because I grew a beard and had to upgrade to a hair clipper.

[The Movies] I think it was 2014 that the moral taboo on killing children in movies was lifted in order to shock us more. I still haven’t seen the bad guys kill a baby yet–soon come!
protest_Tallahassee[Come To The Other Side, Luke] In the late 60’s a group of guys rented an attic apartment in the former mansion of the Nicholson File Company’s family. It was across the street from the State Capitol. One Saturday afternoon, from the window I saw there was a Vietnam War protest going on so I decided to stop by and kick some commie ass. The mass of protesters were crowding towards the Capitol steps so I cut ahead to the leader in order to tag him. Because I was right next to him watching his every move he probably thought I was one of the fervent protesters, not the bad guy that I was. He surprised me with a friendly smile and asked if I would hold his expensive camera while he was busy organizing the protesting. I’d never held more than a $15 Brownie before and was totally shocked that he would trust a nefarious punk like me. I held the camera protectively while I contemplated what had just happened. I gave it back when he later asked, but for the first time ever, I saw something from the other side. Too bad I was such a punk because I could have taken some really good pictures of him and his protest that day with such a fine camera.
I got a big ol’ Johnson. Video
grinder-pump-used

 

[Grinder Pumps] I was thinking about how the brand new sewer lift stations on Cudjoe keep filling up with seawater from all the leakage in the brand new pipes. And how the cheapo residential grinder pumps that FKAA is using instead of a “real” pump in those lift stations have a steel and cast iron grinder. And how FKAA has to keep the cheapo pump totally submerged at all times so it won’t ignite a sewer explosion. You probably do not have to be psychic to see how that is going to work out.

The photo is of a used pump that was brought to a city commission meeting as representative of the many dead E-One pumps in their town that were a real problem issue.

Windows Tech Net site for all Windows OS info and fixes. Save it to your Favorites folder. Link
pinebilly-band

 

Big Pine’s “Pinebilly Porch Band” rules!

[Sewers] I chuckled at the posting from the poster who claimed to be “thrilled” to be able to connect to the central sewer, saying that was going to clean up the canals. Yet the Duck Key HOA complained to the BOCC at the last meeting that the canals have become dirtier since the sewer went in. Baypointers say the same thing. Maybe you saw the red alert banner on the FKAA.com home page about reclaimed water not being available from two of their plants. That happens if the effluent water is not even fit for irrigation. All poorly treated effluent gets dumped down the shallow wells, no matter how bad it might be. It has to go somewhere! In Duck Key, the effluent wells are cased 60′ deep and located about 75′ from a deep dredged channel in open water. Not a good thing for the environment.
camera film roll[Dumb Photographer] I’ve always taken a lot of pictures. Years ago Richard Hatch [now owner of Blue Haven Restaurant] just had a baby and along with his wife were living on their hippy boat off Man O War Channel in Key West. I took my boat one nice day and tied up to them to visit. When I saw the baby I just meted. There sure is something about a little baby that grabs your heart no matter who you are. Natural instinct kicks in. I had my camera and took a big spool of film of the baby and family. The late afternoon light was perfect and the baby was adorable. I couldn’t wait to see this photos.

When I got home and went to remove the roll of film to get it developed I saw that I forgot to put any film in.

After all this time it’s still funny to see FTR Guy get his panties in a wad. But I still have no desire to dive back into the cesspool of the National Politics page.
Spear-1

 

SCUBA diving and spearfishing?  Forget the sharks.  Usually the most dangerous thing in the water with you is your buddy.

[Festival to Celebrate 25 Years of Spectacular Sanctuary Protection] The dream of the nineties is alive in Florida, and it’s turning 25 this year! The upcoming Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary 25th Anniversary Family Fun Festival will celebrate the 1990 designation of this spectacular 2,900 square nautical mile marine protected area.

The free event, presented by NOAA in partnership with the National Marine Sanctuary Foundation, will take place Sunday, November 8 from 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. at The Islander Resort, A Guy Harvey Outpost. Link

duct-tape2

 

What men always knew.

[Drug Test Welfare People] The best I can remember is every time I asked for a job I had to take a piss test. I worked. I paid taxes. Next job the same, piss test, work, taxes. Our taxes were partially used as gifts mostly to people who don’t have to take piss tests to receive the gift from workers who are piss tested. And what about all our government workers and elected officials? They are paid from taxes supplied by piss tested people with a job. It appears that some people get privileges and others are slaves. Definition of a slave: one who has to work for the benefit of others. And who came up with this “entitlement” bull-caca. The only thing you’re entitled to is dying.
zombie-1

 

There were some great zombie impersonations (and some real zombies!) on the Sunday Zombie Bike Ride. Thanks for participating, kids of all ages. My camera malfunctioned so I only got a few photos. Hopefully a few will be posted. The word is, the Looe Key Tiki Bar moved its Halloween costume contest to Friday so that Fantasy Fest does not conflict so much. This should be great fun. I hope we have a couple of pretty female exhibitionists showing their assets again this year. Love it!

This war started 1,380 years ago and is continuing today. Muhammad, founder of Islam, declared war on the rest of the non Islamic world. His dream was a total Islamic world under Sharia Law. One thing can be said about them, they are persistent.
vows9
If you are an honorably discharged vet and 65 years old, you may be eligible for what’s called, a “Non-Service connected Pension”. They’ll bring you up to about $1,050 a month, to add to you S.S., or whatever else you may get less than that. You must ask for the “Non-Service connected pension”. They won’t volunteer the info. Get with a vet rep. Peggy on Big Pine is great. Pursue it, it’s our due!
dredging-drs-armFinally, the end of the dredging stage of the canal between Baileys and Witters in Dr.’s Arm on Big Pine Key. It’s been going on since the last week of May (in this county, 2 months predicted equals 5 months in actuality). Next comes some sand fill and then, maybe some “bubblers”. It would be cool to come home from work and jump in the canal. I sure do hope it works.
[Snowbirds Are Like Hemorrhoids] When they come down and go back up, it’s all good. When they come down and stay — not so good!
fatberg-london-sewer[Clogged Grinder Pumps] In the summer of 2014 sewage workers in London toiled for four days to disgorge a “fatberg,” a congealed lump of food grease and wet wipes the length of a Boeing 747 that had become lodged in the city’s pipes. It was only the most revolting sign of a problem currently affecting many municipalities: debris caught in machinery at wastewater-treatment plants. Bathroom moist wipes, the squeegee to toilet paper’s buffing cloth, make up about a third of this debris. About 30 percent of wipes are marketed as “flushable,” but clearly that does not mean degradable. New York City officials have reported spending more than $18 million during the past five years replacing and repairing sewer-plant pumps, gears, valves, and screens damaged as a result of wipes. Video
[Big Pine’s Grimal Grove Gets $80,000] Growing Hope Foundation, a nonprofit organization, has been awarded a $80,845.96 grant from the State Farm youth advisory board to “Save the Grimal Grove,” a service-learning project at Grimal Grove on Big Pine Key. Designed by a reclusive engineering genius, Adolf Grimal began his work in the 1950s, carving fresh waterways, ponds, cisterns, and building raised garden beds, to form a lush tropical garden from limestone rock with his bare hands. The grove is a tropical fruit treasure being developed into a profitable and community-driven social enterprise.
cowboy ready to draw[Gunslingers] Law enforcement individuals are endorsing the passage of HB163 and SB300 which will include Florida with the other 45 states that allow some form of open carry. The vast majority of Florida sheriffs and other law enforcement officers believe that criminals are less likely to target victims that they know are armed and prepared. In a study done by the U of Mass. for the US Justice Dept. over 1800 violent convicts were queried on target selection and who were potential victims.
81% — determine if victim is armed
74%–avoided occupied buildings-fear of being shot
57%–feared armed Citizens More than Police( No rules of engagement)
40%–were deterred because Victims May be armed
57%–who used guns encountered victims who were armed
34%–reported that they had been scarred off, shot at, wounded, or captured by armed citizens.
Governments and law enforcement cannot and will not guarantee your personal safety–period. So who will? No amount of laws and hokey regulations will stop people from being evil. The people that don’t want us to have the ability to defend ourselves have paid gunfighters to protect them.
Just remember that old hack–an armed society is a polite society. And remember–he couldn’t get a gun so he used a sword instead. If my open carried firearm might prevent a crime just because it was visible than perhaps it is a positive thing.
Peace and love to you old cynics who think dreams are only for the young.
It is still possible to “LIVE”
in the Florida Keys.
It might take some balls and
at times you might be on
your knees!
But it is still possible to “LIVE”
in the Florida Keys.
The fishin’ is great and
the eatin’ is better.
And sometimes you
couldn’t get no wetter.boat-ramp-kohen22 But it is still possible to “LIVE”
in the Florida Keys.
The best locals and friends
in the world!; your
Conch flag unfurrled.
And when the storms
come, you know that
your hair will get currlred!
But it is still possible to “LIVE”
in the Florida Keys.
I don’t hate the upper 48,
but if you ain’t here yet,
it might be too late,
‘Cause it is still possible to
“LIVE” in the Florida Keys.
boca-grand-swimmer

[Beach Closed] The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service will be closing Boca Grande Key, Woman Key, and the Marquesas Keys in Key West National Wildlife Refuge from November 13-16, 2015. All beach access will be closed to the public to protect wildlife and their Critical Habitat from disturbance of power boats.

Historically, there has been extreme disturbance from boaters at this time of year in these areas, and these closures aim to eliminate such impacts. U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service along with partnering agencies will have an increased law enforcement presence at these locations to enforce the temporary closures. Anyone found violating these closures is subject to criminal prosecution by federal authorities and may be fined up to $5,000 and/or receive six months imprisonment. Link

[Cancer] Bacon, hot dogs and cold cuts are under fire: The World Health Organization threw its global weight behind years of doctors’ warnings and declared Monday that processed meats raise the risk of colon and stomach cancer and that red meat is probably dangerous, too.
marine logo earth rotateUnited States Marine Corps 240th Birthday celebration to be held at the American Legion Post 333, In Key Largo On November 10th at 6 pm. All are welcome. Please join us for a magnificent blend of sumptuous food, extraordinary cake, spectacular music and dancing. If you desire to have an enjoyable evening, please be our guest. Come join us at the American Legion Post, 2 Seagate Blvd. Key Largo, FL 33037. For Further information call us at 305.900.7530. Hope to see you there!
[Captain Doom and Gloom] You know I’m getting quite pissed at the castrated ‘Officials’ who think because they are elected into (my maintenance) office they can rule my freakin’ life like some petty God. Take Happy Hour for instance. Some States and cities ban Happy Hour because their junta either are holy rollers or are not getting enough kick-back from the bars or booze suppliers, or both. Then there is the Brothel Breakers who could not get laid if it was free. The Cops who have weirdo laws written by some of the above groin grabbers, inforce more restrictions on the rest of humanity. Some countries that are ”wide open” are usually run on a “Pay Me” legal system where everybody is on the ‘take’ or works for the ‘bosses’. Most Oriental countries are like this and have been for 5000 years. Only the newer countries like the US and some religious based holes-in-the-ground are virtuous. The definition of their ‘Virtuousness’ is based on the facts that they also cannot get laid or have not grown up yet. My point is, who the hell are other humans to tell me how to live and what I can or cannot do with my existence? Don’t give me the ‘people would get out of control’ BS either! In the real world, it is and always has been the several of the fittest and that will never change, hopefully!
tarantino[From The Right] I’m a retired cop, but not a fan of police unions. Nonetheless they are spot on in calling for a boycott of Quenton Tarrinto’s movies. Tarantino is (in)famous for his films that are running with blood, gore, torture, and multiple murders. Films like “Reservoir Dogs” that featured the torture and murder of a police officer.
Less than a week after the most recent murder of a police officer in NYC. Tarrantino chose to be a keynote speaker at an anti-cop rally in NYC. In his speech he sanctimoniously declared that, “When I see murders, I do not stand by. I have to call the murderers murderers.” Then he told the crowd of protesters in Washington Square Park, that cops are too often “murderers.”A NYC police officer is quoted, “It’s no surprise that someone who makes a living glorifying crime and violence is a cop-hater, too.”The reality is that the cops Quentin Tarantino calls ‘murderers’ aren’t a part of his depraved big-screen fantasies. They’re risking and sacrificing their lives to protect communities from real crime and mayhem.I’ll not see a Tarantino film again, and I hope that you won’t either. Link
Submit anything but National Politics to island@bigpinekey.com

national politics an(Click here)
1 2 3 7