Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays
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| [Say No To Sewers] Environmental bullshit and junk science has caused you all to lose the Florida Keys to Environuts and Big Government agencies. Gone are hundreds of good fishermen, their fresh catch and their fishing culture. The near shore waters have never been polluted by nutrients. Nutrients are what plants eat and they supply the only way for biological growth to be possible at all. Who calls nitrates and phosphates pollutants? Only someone who does not know how nature works. Phosphates and nitrates in nature are like 100 dollar bills in the winds – everything grabs to get them. Eutrophication (too much nutrients) can happen to landlocked ponds, canals, borrow pits, and lakes, but not open water surrounding tiny Islands in the middle of two very big bodies of water called the Atlantic and the Gulf.Who was a that judge that knew nothing about the junk science presented as evidence to shove through every phony environmental law? Phony and junk science was pushed down your throats to justify every new rule – new edict – new tax – new payments and fines – new punishments. Without a vote and even without any common sense you must accept the unnecessary billion dollar sewage projects. It was all trumped up (sorry Donald) and not based on any true science.If you could go back in your time machine to the years of meetings and video taped bullshit that came from NOAA and even your own Congressman Deutch, NOAA was publically voted down and out of the Keys, but here they are.
The lies that continue to be repeated, repeated and repeated come from the strategy manuals published by The Nature Conservancy which in itself is also a fake envirogroup. The Nature Conservancy was founded to push Government agenda that takes away your environmental rights and only certain individuals in the Conservancy can build in the mangroves – only certain individuals in Government agencies can tell you what to catch. They make rules that make you stay away from the places that in past generation provided your family’s livelihood or your dinner. Who gave them such power over you ? Did you vote for these rules? Last time I looked we were self Governed people. The hundreds of times that boaters were boarded by Sheriff Defoor’s minions pretending to be protecting the environment, searching boats for holding tanks at midnight., making live-aboards pay to anchor. NOAA has an agenda that they have lied and lied and have done very little to save the holy reef. Do you think that sewage plants and pumps and wells will make a difference – 10 ft from shore – 100 ft from shore? They don’t make a difference. Read the coli form counts from pre sewage and post sewage – – they are still the same. You want to hear fancy words that you don’t understand from some scientist that wants the next Government project grant or who wants 1200 bucks to plant the next piece of staghorn coral stuck on a stepping stone? It is a shame the these big boys have gotten so far. The voices of opposition are few and have mostly burned out. The cries from those who can’t eat fresh caught dolphin or have to put a sewer pipe into a home and shut down a perfectly good septic system go unheard because the bad guys have won the planned takeover of the Florida Keys. Go to this link – read about the fight and the lies. Link |
 Today is the last day for the Big Pine Flea Market. Get it while you can! |
| They’re baaaaack! Yep, the Lobster Mobsters are back in town by the boat loads. They can be seen crowding the local markets and liquor stores, taking on vital supplies such as buckets of fried chicken, cases of beer, bags of ice to keep all that beer cold)and, of course, a genuine Official Lobster Kit from Winn-Dixie to help them in their quest for the elusive langosta. They can also be seen gassing up at the local filling stations and getting gassed up at the local bars. On the big day, the boat ramp is blocked for an hour while our heroes are loading the beer filled cooler, a bottle of tequila, buckets of chicken, the wife, the kids and the dog. Then the search for the missing boat key begins. After a more or less successful boat launch, (usually accompanied by our Captain yelling directions to his wife while wildly waiving his beer can), she finally manages to back the trailer down the ramp on the fifth attempt and then parks the truck and trailer taking up three parking spaces. Then, off they go for an exciting day on the water anticipating their big Surf and Turf dinners. Weaving down the canal on full plane while chugging his forth beer of the morning and a shot of tequila, they make to a likely spot on the water. Neglecting to bring a Diver Down flag (“What the hell, forget about” our Captain says, “the other boat has one.”)they don their gear and over the side they go with their Official Lobster Kits and the hunt commences. After spotting a pair of antenna under a coral head, they proceed to maul the coral head, killing everything they touch, only to miss the quick and wily little lobster with the net. If they’re lucky they might just end up with a few “keepers” assuming they actually used the Official Lobster Gauge from the Official Lobster Kit. After a few day of the adventure at sea,(and a couple of nasty hangovers), our Captain gets ready to trailer the boat with a repeat of the drunken argument at launch time. Finally they’re ready to hit the road home with one lonely lobster in the cooler to show their friends and neighbors evidence of their successful hunt. With the wife not speaking to our Captain they’re off with four bad sunburns, one brutal hangover, two fighting kids and a dog with projectile diarrhea from eating a bucket of greasy chicken bones. Life returns to peace and quiet on our little Island Paradise and Mother Nature weeps when she sees the destruction the thousands of Lobster Mobsters have caused her glorious creation and tries to begin the healing process before the onslaught again next year, Yeah, there’s nothing quite like Mini-season. |
 [“Name that dead bird”] The dead bird appears to be an immature ibis. The poor thing..[“Name that dead bird”] The dead bird floating is a juvenile white ibis.[“Name that dead bird”] I think it’s now deadus maximus. I thought it might have been Anhinga, but they don’t have a hooked beak, so possibly a cormorant..Name that floating dead bird. That’s easy. It’s is a juvenile white ibis. |
| Looks like a tower on Cudjoe isn’t flipping over to the nightly red glow – instead the strobe is staying on all night long! Of course, our bedroom window faces the bright white flashes all night long. Does anyone know who to call about it? Maybe I’ll give them a call at 3am |
 Is your hairdo different in the dry desert than is is in the humid tropics? Does humidity affect hair? |
| What’s up with the pelicans? They’re starting to come back and it’s pretty early (like 2 months). Does anyone know why? I’m not sure there’s any bait fish migration underway |
 [Public Restrooms] I saw a new product that when applied to a concrete wall splashes back on those who pee against it. People are against public restroom in major cities because they are expensive and turn no profit and bums use them and bums are a problem. They would rather have the bums pee in the street then provide public restrooms. Haven’t you ever seen a bum squatting to poop in an alley or behind a truck? Do our city fathers think that because there are no public restrooms that the bums stop peeing and pooping? |
| [Aldi’s Food Market] I would love to se Aldi’s come to the Keys. It’s the one store I really miss. |
  [Patricia Target Boat] The Patricia at Boca Grande was an active Navy target until the late 60’s. The fish shacks were not too far away. Most of the wreck above water was destroyed by live fire. The bottom around the wreck had thousands of old practice bombs and most had rusted thru and held lobsters, only problem was the giant Morey that lived in the wreck. He would come out and chase you if you went anywhere year the wreck! |
| Wilko Johnson & Roger Daltrey – I Keep It To Myself |
 The owner of U.S. 1 Radio in Big Pine Key, Bob Holladay, plans to bring a nearly 200-foot radio and cell tower to Sugarloaf Key, a proposal opposed by some local resident. |
| If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, then talk in your sleep. |
 [“Jellyfish“] The best and oldest fix for jellyfish stings is your urine. Old divers will tell you that. |
| [To Catch A Thief] Crime Stoppers video from Louisiana, as police try to catch a guy who broke into a restaurant. Video |
 Harper Lee’s book, now out, was written before “To Kill A Mockingbird” by some 3 years. “Mockingbird” was used as a teaching aid in civil rights awareness studies and sold 40 million copies. The author did not adjust to the publicity and was never interviewed. |
| AARP August 2015 Calendar. Full Menu > Ongoing Events |
 Use a staple remover to open key rings, not destroy your nails trying to do that. |
| [Truer Than Fiction] Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye and says, “Listen here good looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, it doesn’t matter to me. I just love it.” Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, “No kidding. I’m in Congress too. What state do you represent?” |
 [“Name that dead bird“] Ibis and sometimes known as the curlew, there are several kinds. I not sure what you have there. It looks to be a young one. American white ibis.The American white ibis (Eudocimus albus) is a species of bird in the ibis family, sometimes mistaken immature birds for a separate species, the brown curlew. A juvenile has some of its brown feathers have molted and have been replaced with white feathers. Link |
| Wounded Warriors are saving the reef. Video |
 Political correctness gone wild. |
| [Deep Wells] The owners of the sewer utility on Stock Island are going after a Florida Keys environmental group and one of its members for $471,438 in legal fees and court costs. The environmental group Last Stand and its board member George Halloran have challenged a Florida Department of Environmental Protection permit for construction of two more shallow injection sewer treatment wells on Stock Island. |
 I have seen both of these guys at a lower Keys watering hole. The one on the left always gets more women as he’s much more fun and agile. |
| [Welfare] The Cato Institute upgraded their 1995 study Welfare in America . The new study showed that 33 states are paying welfare recipients more than the minimum wage, 13 states pay more than $15/hr. the biggest offenders–Hawaii $60,590/yr, Washington D.C. $50,820, Mass $50,540, Conn $44,370, NY $43,700, NJ $43,450. the average middle class worker makes $50,000 down from $54,000 in 2007. The average teacher $40,650, average soldier deployed in Afghanistan $38,000. Now let’s look at the politicians that are making this happen. Average Senator/Representative $174,000 for life, Speaker Of The House $223,000/life, major/minor leaders $193,400/life, and let’s not forget their free Gucci-style medical care for life! Can this be rectified? Get serious, the working class is sliding into poverty while the welfare state keeps growing and reelecting their bread and butter, the same old thing, more welfare. Now there are folks that will say the numbers are misleading and don’t represent the facts, as they see them. You make the decision yourself. Every time you stop off at the Winn Dixie after putting in your 8 hours on your crappy job and watch a manicured, and coiffed person peeling off the food stamps before climbing into their new Mercedes. What will you do at the ballot box? keep putting them back in office because the other guy might be a crook? |
 [Things Can Be Saved] A Karner Blue butterfly rests on a finger after it was released at the preserve in Albany, New York. More than two decades of habitat restoration and breeding programs have put the endangered Karner blue butterfly on track to recovery in the New York pine barrens where it was discovered by Russian author Vladimir Nabokov. |
| [Pedophilia or Hysteria?] pedaled my bicycle yesterday morning to Fifth Street Baptist church, in Key West, where I thought I would try to speak with the minister about something. When I arrived about 9:30 a.m., I saw on the electronic Marquee out front, that Sunday school classes, adult and children, started at 9:45 a.m. I saw Superintendent of Schools Mark Porter was the guest speaker. I saw no cars and no bicycles in the parking lot. I tried the front door. It was open. I heard music inside, opened the door further and heard really loud music inside. I walked into the nave, and saw two young white women and a black man rehearsing modern Christian songs at a microphone on the stage, or platform, in front of the pews, and a man playing an organ off to the right, who appeared to be the music director because sometimes he offered input to the singers. The singing and organ were really loud. I wondered if I was going to be able to endure the volume?I saw three young children, maybe three years old, down in front in the first pew. They seemed to be doing what children do, play. They had video devices. They seemed to be having a good time. One of the young women singers said something to the children, which appeared sharp, based on the look on her just only recently smiling angelic face and the distorted way her mouth moved. She went back to singing, then she stopped, and climbed down off the platform, and went to the children and jerked the ear pieces, I guessed, and their wires from each child and device. Then she grabbed the child to my left’s arm and stood the child up, raised her dress, and whacked her good a couple of time on the fanny, and turned and walked back up onto the stage, now it really was a stage, and resumed her celestical singing, while the little girl she had spanked turned her head into the pew and held it there a little while.I thought of the time in the Gospels when children were trying to get to Jesus and the disciples held them away from him, and he told his disciples to let the children through to him, for of such was the Kingdom of God made. I thought about going up to the front and saying just that to the woman and her singing companions, who seemed to be taking it all in stride. I thought what I really wanted to do was go up to the front and grab the angelic woman by the hair and drag her out of the church and drop her into the gutter out front. But instead, I got up and walked out into the front foyer to see if the minister might be there. No. I went back inside the nave, the music had stopped, and I saw Mark Porter speaking with the black singer. I walked over and said hello to Mark, who introduced me to the singer. Mark had not been in the nave when what I described above happened.
I asked Mark about the minister. Mark said he was away at vacation bible school, this was his third week there, and he will be back at the church sometime this week. I said I’d had a couple of dreams about the minister, and that’s why I came to the church. I wrote my name and phone number on the daily program and gave that to Mark, who said he would give it to the minister. I left the church, glad to be away from it, thinking what I had just witnessed in an of itself caused me not to think any child should be in that church, regardless of Jeremy Jerome had told me about pedophilia going on there. I could not imagine Mark Porter being involved with a church, if he knew pedophilia was going on there. Nor could could I imagine a career educator being involved with a church were I saw what went on between that young women and those three kids, if he knew it was going on. Mark does not allow his teachers to discipline their students in that way, but it’s okay in church for that to happen, because it’s a church? ~Sloan |
 [Ink] Use a paper clip to pop the reset button on the ink cartridge when the computer says you’re printer is out of ink. It’s like an extra amount for emergency printing. |
| Are we being made to buy new software and hardware because the manufacturers want us to buy their new crap that makes our old crap not work anymore? |
 [Headlines From The Year 2059] -Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.-Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern U.S. crops and livestock. -Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. -Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. -France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! -Last Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. -George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2060. -Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. -85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. -Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. -Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States. -Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. -A Couple Finally Had Sexual Harmony, They had simultaneous Headaches. |
| Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee. Also I don’t drink coffee. |
 Well, would you look at the time! |
| This crazy tree grows 40 kinds of fruit. Video |
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| I would like to list Team Trible in the Real Estate section of the local Business Directory website. We are with Coldwell Banker Schmidt, and our phone number is 305-393-7209. Business Directory > Real Estate. |
 The machines for harvesting tulip bulbs are incredible. The video follows everything from the fields to the packaging. No “little Dutch boy” anywhere! Video |
| [Lobster Mini Season] Ugh! I went boating Tuesday and wish I hadn’t. The Lobster Mobsters were clogging the boat ramp and arguing over who’s next. Once I got out on the water a boat cut right in front of me while he was crossing the channel. At the reef all the mooring buoys had at least two boats tied to them. |
 [New Restaurant] This sign is at the location of the former “Old Road Cafe” by the curve on Cudjoe Key. |
| [Currents] A man diving was carried away from the boat by the current and died of Boca Chica Tuesday. Too many people don’t pay attention to the current and can’t get back to the boat. |
 The 1935 Scout Scarab‘s interior space was maximized by its Ponton styling, which dispensed with running-boards and expanded the cabin to the full width of the car; a long wheel base and engine placement directly over the rear axle — which moved the driver forward, enabling a steering wheel almost directly above the front wheels. Passengers entered through a single, large common door. A flexible seating system could be easily reconfigured, except for the driver’s seat, which was fixed. Anticipating the seating in modern MPVs, such as the Chrysler Voyager or Renault Espace, there was a small card table which could be fitted with the passenger seats as needed. Interiors were appointed in leather, chrome, and wood. Design elements also worked in a stylized ancient Egyptian “scarab” motif, including the car’s emblem. Visibility to the front and sides was similar to that of an observation car, although rearward vision was negligible and there were no rear-view mirrors.The innovations did not end with the car’s layout and body design. In an era where almost everything on the road had rigid axles with leaf springs, the Scarab featured independent suspension using coil springs on all four corners, providing a smoother, quieter ride. The rear-engine-induced weight bias coupled to the coil spring suspension endowed the Scarab with very good handling and traction. The rear swing axle suspension with long coil spring struts was inspired by aircraft landing gear. The Scarab suspension would itself inspire the later Chapman strut used by Lotus from their Lotus Twelve model of 1957.The Ford flathead V8 drove the rear wheels via a custom Stout-built three-speed manual transaxle. The engine was reversed from its normal position, mounted directly over the rear axle and with the flywheel and clutch facing forwards. The transmission was mounted ahead of this, reversing and lowering the driveline back to the axle. This unusual layout would later be repeated by the Lamborghini Countach. Only 9 were built. |
 [Eyewash] I figured out what the junk in my right eye was — the crystallized eyewash I used on to clean it! It seems the drops work well if you do not doze off to sleep, but let it wash out completely. The excess dries when it hits the air then turns into crystals which can fall back into the eye if you sleep on your back. The movement of the eye while sleeping moves the crystals and forms mini balls of solid matter which tend to lock into the thick coating under the eye lid. This is what can scratch and hurt. It took 2.5 days for them to flush out and collect on the edge of my eye. I felt like I was in a sand storm. A warm water eyewash can help rid the eye of these crystals. |
| [Religion of Peace] A 23-year-old Stock Island man, Harlem Suarez, who claimed to be a member of the Islamic State terror network planned on detonating a nail-filled backpack bomb on a Key West beach and hoped to bring a fundamentalist holy war to the Florida Keys, according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation. He’s in jail. “Be a warrior, learn how to cut your enemies head and then burn down the body,” Suarez wrote on Facebook. He also discussed creating a car bomb, targeting police officers by placing bombs underneath police vehicles and possibly targeting hotels, according to the complaint. “One day I will cook Americans … in cages … flaming,”His lawyer said, “He comes from a very good, hard-working family that arrived here from Cuba. in 2004 because they yearned for freedom. They raised their son to love this country,” Uh, ha. |
 Killer of Cecil the lion is a dentist from Minnesota who travels the would killing things. Video |
| When you buy a George Foreman Grill how do you know if it’s the dad’s or one of the kids? Yes I’ll hold. |
 [Poaching?] These two boat in Cudjoe Bay Monday afternoon sure looked like they were doing a little pre-mini season lobster gathering. They were out there for about two hours. The pontoon had about eight people on it and covered most of the shallow bay. Maybe they were just scouting, but I doubt it. |
| [“Eden Pines canal cleanup”] Everyone keeps talking about a petition. As an Eden Pines canal property owner, I haven’t seen it. Is this another fib being spread? If not, who or whomever has started this ‘petition’ doesn’t seem to know the county has contact info for every property owner, or they really don’t know how to petition. |
 [“Leash law”]To the person posting that Monroe county requires all pet owners have a 4′ leash while walking their pet is wrong. It is 6′. I’m not a fan of the retractable leads, after it spools there is little to no control of the animal. Just like fishing. |
| [Do Owners Get Compensation for Easement?] Easements provide a legal mechanism to use land for a specific purpose without having to buy the property. Instead of buying numerous tracts of land to install a new sewer system, a city purchases easements across various landowners. While the current owners receive compensation, in most cases future owners of the easement will not receive payment. To receive compensation for an easement, the owner usually must be the one who initially grants the easement. Link |
 [Passing The Buck] Most men in the early west carried a jack knife made by the Buck knife company. When playing poker it as common to place one of these Buck knives in front of the dealer so that everyone knew who he was. When it was time for a new dealer the deck of cards and the knife were given to the new dealer. If this person didn’t want to deal he would “pass the buck” to the next player. If that player accepted then “the buck stopped there”. |
| AT&T is offering a complete package with TV, Web, Cell for around $86 to new clients, but I pay over $276 for the same crap! How can I get a better price? Do I have to close my account and start over? (Ed: Comcast has the same package for $157.44 with no premium channels and 75 mbps speed.) |
 [Cat Food] Lesson learned the hard way. Give your cats only wet food. The dry stuff is bad and gives them diabetes. A nice gal gave me ‘Prince’ from the rescue group and later she said something to me about how fat he was getting. It would have been A-OK for her to have told me the secret about how bad dry kibble is for both cats and dogs. Now he is getting better real quick on a low carb diet and insulin shots plus a monthly B-12 which will put my wonderful talkative cat pillow into a speedy remission. The ear testing machine is scary and I have yet to make use of it. Please give your pets mostly wet food as the dry food is very bad for their health. I don’t brush his teeth and he had a few extractions but brushing our pets teeth will make their life spans longer. Since my pets are inside kitties, they no longer get vaccinations, which I believe are not real safe for them. The Pets Of Oz on the world wide web will deliver your doggie heartguard without having to bother a vet. I love my animals more than most people and I did not mean to make my Princey fat by free feeding dry food. Link |
| Do not throw away your old computer if you have old hardware that will not run on Windows 7 or 10, because they do not have the right drivers for those new operating systems. |
| We just bought a foreclosure and were wondering what your deer readers would do first with a home which has been closed for six years. Our first instinct is to remove all carpets and pads and eliminate mold mildew before turning on the AC. Will code nazis hurt me if I bring my hard-drinking-ex-hubby down to help? He ain’t no stinkin’ contractor, just a drunk with handyman skills who still looks like Don Johnson. The girls at the Tiki Bar are going to love him–better them than me! See you soon BPK |
 [Muslim Dog’s Call to Prayer] This guy lives next door to a mosque. He recently bought a dog. The dog is gentle and does not bite, but he does tick off the Imam next door. You only need to watch a few seconds to get the idea. Video |
| [Lobster Mini-Season] It looks like near ideal weather for lobster mini-season. Good luck hunters and please respect the resource and the reef! |
| The 50 states of America if they were actually people in a bar. California is perfect. Link |
 Show the movie “Jaws” on a outdoor screen while watching it from inner tubes in dark water — brilliant! |
| [Gated Communities] I don’t know, but every time I read the News-Barometer and Citizen, I’m not hearing about finding a band of druggies or thieves operating out of the Key West golf course, Truman Annex, etc. I think the development to date is quite tasteful and authentic, but not cheap, and those residents are quite a step up from what’s found in many other semi-blighted areas of the Keys. Of course, there needs to be a discussion on affordable housing (not a trailer park discussion). The Keys aren’t what they used to be, but neither is the world |
 [Injections Wells] Thanks for that quote from paragraphs 404-424, pages 72-74 , but I’m looking at this a little differently in 2 senses.
Keep it simple, do the tests, then lets start cleaning up the mess we’re making today. |
| [Ramrod Key Fire] It’s so great to see 375 donors putting up nearly $36k for the surviving kids. This is a great example of the community pulling together to help those truly less fortunate. You can add to the effort at the Shores/Ferrer Family Fund |
 [Cisterns] What will Monroe County do if I install rain gutters to use the water to fill my kids pool and to fill drums for garden and flushing use? It will save me money and help the environment! F-FKAA! |
| It looks like the bubble house is slowly being worked on on Cudjoe Key. This is just what the Keys needed, a place for tourists to laugh their faces off looking at an abortion some nitwit architect designed in his sleep or was that on a hangover? |
 [China’s Shopping Mall] Biggest building: China opens world’s largest single structure. 20,000,000 square feet. Link |
| If you do not like to stand behind our men and women in the military, try standing in front of them! |
 Will these signs work on canals during lobster season. Link |
| [Today’s Advice] If you’re lonely, tired, hurt, hungry, horny or sick go to your neighborhood bar for the afternoon. |
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| Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com |