Wednesday, July 22, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com
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national politics an

wetstock11--9.6.15Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages, WESTOCK 11, a day of PEACE & MUSIC is just around the corner. We will have the concert on Sunday, Sept. 6 of Labr Day Weekend.We have a nice line up this year with 4 bands, including our new band The Killer Whales. Tony from The Jam band will be there with the Karen Weber Band, The JRG (John, Randy, & George) Band, and Miles Mancuso is tentatively set to round out the show. The music will start around 1:00 Keys time of course!Look to see you there,
Your Friend Flip Flop Bob
The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, July 25, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[“Big Pine gun shop busted”] What is everyone doing who bought memberships at the Outbreak Ordnance?  We obviously will want refunds, as it will probably never open again, but what are our options?
gondola smEden Pines canal owners do want their canals cleaned, what they are afraid of is the blank check that the Friendly Government folks are asking them to sign for the privilege.  Most would assuredly sign on if there were a cap to the future contribution that will be asked of them.  Also many are still in disbelief that the friendly folks at Fish and Wildlife have put the kibosh on the free-to-maintain and assuredly better fix of culverting the far end of the system that would work perfectly for free indefinitely.
[Mistrustful of Government] Where is this petition that we are supposed to sign for canal restoration? I have never seen one. But besides that, the residents of Eden Pines might be more willing to sign if the Contractor/Government would be more forthcoming with a design that the people have confidence in. If Engineering could guarantee the cost instead of asking for an open wallet! The governments responsibility to the people is to be competent and honest about how this is being paid for, by whom, and an honest assessment of maintenance cost and tell us who does the maintenance after the two year term is up. Will the pumping equipment hold up in a hurricane? Its not that people don’t want clean canals but not everyone has the money to say they will pay for this no matter what the cost. That belittles people when those comments are made.
cheeseburger20I just made my famous gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan cheeseburger.
[Marathon Journal]  The Journal interviewed Marathon City Council candidate Nicholas Antonelli. He owns Nick’s Fitness Express open 24/7. His wife, Jennifer, owns Glitterati Hair Studio. Nick has lived here Marathon for 56 years. He moved here with his family. He was born in New York. Nick has a couple of college years under his belt. He has a lot of business acumen and experience.We asked some questions starting out with: What makes you ready for City Council? He answered his business experience, contractor skills, and having studied current issues. I can vouched his take on Marathon’s issues. One common element was thinking that issues have consequences going out decades.What are your thoughts about hiring a new City Manager and City Legal selection process? The manager needs to be personable yet serious, making things happen in a timely manner. He also said that legal must enhance city management.Have you seen the list of candidate? Yes. There are two spots open with four total candidates signed up. Nick thinks that residents have four good people running for council.What is your plan to getting the local economy going well? He answered that the need for workforce housing is important to keeping employees here. Nick was not happy with the bus service. He thinks that much of economy and dollars go out of the Keys daily. He thinks a lot of thought must be given to keeping jobs here and attracting new employees to work in Marathon.

Are you for a community swimming pool as a project shared between the city and the county? He said that should go up for a referendum to let resident make the choice. He believes that enforcement of the rules at a possible swimming pool is the key to its success.

worth-a-tryIt was worth the try!
[Tim Gratz] The self-proclaimed invalid who acts as if he needs to ride in a Publix electric cart, aka Tim Gratz, proves today that he is indeed a champion at theft of services. Much like the post office electric he plugs into after hours, The same theft of electric that he escaped (warning only) from being charged with by telling police “everybody does it”. His electric cart theft of services (which also means a true invalid does not have the access to the cart) plays the same tune as him being a thief of client’s money. That theft of material/money/services ended up in him being disbarred as an attorney, He was seen this morning walking perfectly fine pushing a stolen shopping cart from the Overseas Market / Winn Dixie to the Publix in Key Plaza.. Yes the cart is stolen, how else did he get it, i.e. Gratz was on the sidewalk across from Home Depot not even close to any of store it belongs to. There was recently a guy who did the same thing as Gratz is doing except he did take it a step farther, he drove the electric cart away from Winn Dixie toward GFS. He faces felony theft.Maybe it’s time to put Gratz where he belongs. In jail. I plan on pressing charges against this vermin before it gets way out of hand. The only defense he has against me, and for the multitude of other crimes he commits daily, is that he insane. ~goodmorning keywest.com
dod golden lab running[Rules] I have always said it is obvious to many of us that the real reason the ruling cabal in the Fl. Keys are so fixated on establishing another herd of Key deer on Cudjoe Key is the fact that doing so will provide a lock for environmentalists and many of their fellow central planners to pretty much do as they wish on that Key as it seems no one else ever wins an argument when discussing the deer herd.  This truism was brought home to me Sun. morning, when walking my dog along Blimp Road as I have been doing for over 20 some years, also while exercising my dog I have perhaps picked up over a ton of discarded trash scattered along the roadway. The reason I do this on Blimp Road is I have found it to be one of the most remote roads left on Cudjoe, thus I allow my dog to run in the ditches along side the road and run and splash in the mangroves. While engaged in this ritual I was accosted by a young lady and dutifully informed that this was Key Deer territory and I  was informed I must only proceed with my dog if it was secured with a leash. It doesn’t matter that for many, many years we have been doing this routine.  I was informed that this was the rule and it must be followed. I know folks who walk this road, they all know me and my dog, life was good.  That is all changing. Rules and rules than rules for rules. I guess it is better to live alone and stay in your house. It seems that the rules are a bit lighter there.
Euell Gibbons died of heart disease. He was simply an advocate of nutritious but neglected plants. He typically prepared these not in the wild, but in the kitchen with abundant use of spices, butter and garnishes. Several of his books discuss what he called “wild parties”: dinner parties where guests were served dishes prepared from plants gathered in the wild.
running jogging manJim Fixx, the runner, actually died while jogging.  The ultimate irony for the author of “The Joy Of Running”.
[Fart Car] The Eco-Friendly car of the future is here now. Video
snake-cacrus-bloom00This snake cactus bloomed Sunday night. I took this picture about ten pm.
Drunk squirrel causes hundreds of pounds worth of damage at private members club after turning on beer tap and knocking over dozens of glasses and beer bottles. Link
target duck (2)[A Sniper’s Haiku]
Crosshairs steady
Trigger breaks
Death in flight
[Gun Shop Bust] My wife & I did some business with Outbreak Ordnance Gun Shop. They were by the book with us. No short cuts, dot every I and cross every T. I can’t help but think there’s more to this story.
reef fishSurrounding our 120-mile chain of island paradise is the Florida Reef, the only living barrier reef in the continental United States and the third-largest coral barrier system in the world. It is both a natural wonder and an indispensable support system for our ocean and its wildlife. It is also the Keys’ most vital resource, environmentally and economically. It helps protect us from the effects of tropical weather events, naturally filters ocean water to eliminate pollutants, provides a habitat and feeding ground for marine life, and helps support just about every business and industry throughout the Keys. The economic benefit of the reef to the Keys is so far-reaching that it is difficult to quantify, but conservative estimates put it at over $500 million a year. With so much on the line, one would think that we would do everything we can to preserve and protect our most vital resource.What? How did that happen? Well, we killed it by polluting our waters to such an extent that 95 percent of the reef is now dead. That’s the simple answer. Of course, there are many causes for such large-scale pollution and destruction, but the most substantial known contributors are runoff from Big Sugar and Big Agriculture on the mainland and a history of improper treatment of sewage and wastewater. The Everglades has seen a similar demise that will take almost $11 billion and 35 years to even have a chance at salvaging. While we salute the scientists attempting to repair and rebuild our reef, such a task is expensive, time-consuming and far from guaranteed, especially when the waters in which the reef is being regenerated are still polluted.
[“Eden pines canal”] I’m amazed that there are some people who want a dirty and dying canal?  My little head is unable to hold that thought.  Let’s review. We all bought a piece of property on a canal system.  Unfortunately the design was wrong, and now we are left with a dirty and dying canal.  It stinks so bad, that very few want to go in it – including the fish.  And it is rated as one of the worst canals in the Keys.  So poorly rated, that the government is willing to install a remedy.  And yet there are homeowners who are against that?  I seriously cannot hold that thought in my head.  How many of you have become so dead to the world that all of your decisions are made out of spite and anger?  You moved to “Paradise”.  At least honor that part of yourself in which you were inspired by the beauty around you.  Sign the petition, please!
memory20Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, yet the youngest you’ll ever be so – enjoy this day while it lasts.
~Your kids are becoming you.
~Going out is good. Coming home is better.
~You forget names, but it’s OK because other people forgot they even knew you.
~You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything, especially golf.
~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don’t care to do them anymore.
~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It’s called “pre-sleep”.
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an “On” and “Off” switch.
~You tend to use more 4 letter words like: what?, when?, what?.
~Now that you can afford expensive jewellery, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere.
~You notice everything they sell in stores is sleeveless.
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet, 2 of which you will never wear.
~But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies, and best of all, old friends.
Police shoot & kill knife-waving jihad-chanting terrorists in no-nonsense encounter. China does it Right! Video
skydiver2The next time you hear the sound “blblblblblblblblblblblbl” you’ll know where this sound originated from. Video
[Tweet] I’m looking for a website that has bird sounds. The ones I’ve found only have a smattering and most aren’t native to South Florida.
cuba-embassay-d.c.The new (old) Cuban Embassy opened yesterday in Washington D.C. Yeah Obama!
Finally a solution to those annoying speeders on your street. Video
tape-start[Time & Motion Study] Americans waste 2 million hours annually figuring out where the tape roll starts.
Oriental Massage, located on the 91000 block of the Overseas Highway in Tavernier was busted for prostitution for their “massage” services.
wounded-reef[Wounded Warriors Work At Killing The Reef] I support our veterans, but when one sits on living coral and another leans on it to take a picture, that is too much even for me. Maybe they should call it wounded reef
[Pets] CheapShots will be in the Keys this weekend from Key West to Islamorada. We will be in Big Pine from 11-12. Check the website at CheapShots.us for more info or call 305-390-0325.
ship in frame[Scurvy] In 1747, a doctor in Britain’s Royal Navy, James Lind, conducted the first controlled trial that proved that fresh juice from oranges and lemons could cure the debilitating, often fatal disease. It took the navy another 50 years to require that its ships carry lemon juice, but once it did, scurvy practically disappeared
[Who’s In Control Of You] This country is dyeing from religion and the nuts that believe that crap. Now a woman in one state cannot have any rights to her own body because some religious nut made a law to ban abortions or the right to die. Who the hell are these religious nuts to tell people what they can and cannot do with their own body? Time to cull the heard and get rid of these people. Which countries have birthing laws to cull out the undesirables? Or an easier question would be, Which don’t?
seaweed3-00[Seaweed] What kind of seaweed is this. It’s in some of the canals and in the bay on the east side of Big Torch Key, among many other places.
I want to set my email program to forward all my junk mail to officials in Government to see how they like it!
happy 50th birthday[Birthdays are good for your health] Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.
The Iranians make “such a deal” with outsiders and they now want to open a huge tourist industry and even cut restrictions on visas. What better way to put up a guard against Israelis bombs? Talk about being seeds in the same pod! Money is all that matters. And all our sons and daughters died for what? those profiteers on both sides? Vietnam again from playbook #3
bullet angry speed[USA Is Number One With A Bullet] Countries that shoot the most. Video
[“Big Pine gun shop busted”] The rumors are flying, but none of them are verifiable.
jennerIf Bruce Jenner goes missing, will they put his picture on a carton of Half and Half?
Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking-hot body!
fast food pool evilAmericans are fat. Fat because we eat for lust, texture and taste, not for nutrition. If we were smart, there would not be any junk foods whatsoever.
The first question that should be asked to any political candidate is, ‘Are you suicidal?’ and the second is ‘are you a religious nut?’ Bet none would answer.
dead-calm00Dead calm
[“Canal cleanup”] Maybe before the county ask us for money to clean up the canals with a system that will probably not work, they should try to enforce the rules to cut back all of the mangroves to include the roots which block so much of the water flow. Some of the roots are a 1/4 or more of the way from each side into the canals. This should also include cleaning their own county owned lots. As far as what I hear in the rumor mill, the people on the dry lots don’t want to pay anything because they don’t benefit from the canals being cleaned…Really?? If the canal properties go down in value because of dirty canals, then what do you think will happen to the dry lot properties? I sure do see a lot of boats on the dry lots, so your telling me that they don’t benefit the Eden Pines boat ramp or the canals?
piggy bankI’m going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do on the second day, I have no idea!
Since I think Cudjoe Gardens is the only area worth anything in the Lower Keys, can we sue the sewer company when they stink us out with the Cudjoe Waste Dump eruptions? Or was that their plan in the first place?
bill-hospital[Sewers] Does anyone know which Florida politician we can go to see what is really going on with this sewer contract before I move to the Keys?
Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com

national politics an