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(Editor: Oops I lost the menu fiddling around in the cloud. I’ll get it back this Thursday. Please use the above one until then.)

[“Upper Keys Garden Walk”] What a good idea. We should have one in the lower Keys as there are so many wonderful gardens. We have a lovely garden I would like for people to enjoy. Key West has it’s old house tour and the Upper Keys has its Garden Walk, we should have a similar tour that could very well rise money for a local charity and give a lot of people pleasure.

[“Cops at the flea market”] At my business, with lots of customers/lookers/wanderers/foot traffic in the area I welcome visible law enforcement presence. Welcome. Please law enforcement stop by, walk around and be present and visible anytime. You are welcome and part of our community and encouraged to be here and be seen.

Manatees playing and eating Tuesday on Ramrod Key.

[Funny Company Name] Susan Liddy-Gates ~Attorney at Law

[Stuffed Raccoon] The Morbid Anatomy Art Academy presents open spots in two raccoon taxidermy classes. Link

Happy Anniversary Sweet Pea! We’ve had lots of adventures since ’77, riding that big roller coaster of life. Hold on tight – the best is yet to come. I love you!

A Sumatran serow. You don’t see too many of these around here. Didn’t even know they made them. Link

My doctor said to me, “Do you know your sperm count?” I replied, “I didn’t know they were that smart.”

 [“Hard to read Radio Shack Ad”] I don’t find it hard to read at all, but I’m on a PC with a big screen. (Ed: I checked it on a small smartphone screen and it was hard to read. I fixed it.)

[Concealed Weapon Permit Discount] Hell why not? Daddy Bones will offer a10% discount for concealed carry holders! We would offer 15% but our brand new Point of Sales system scares hell out of me if I try changing or adding anything; and we already have a “10% off” key installed.

Now that race season is back, you can count on motor sports on the big screens every time there is an event unless the Heat are on. No Patriots or Jets or Celtics ever! No baseball until they let the runner keep the bat.

Buttermilk the goat romping. Video 

[“Never seen a woman back in to a space”] I saw one do it Saturday morning for the first time and she did a lousy job of it, blocking traffic while she figured it out. 

As the president of the IKC will be giving up his position on April 1st the IKC is taking nominations on who should fill his tree stand. Please have your nominations ready for the next meeting at the club house in Marathon at 7pm. The incoming president much be able to prove his or her high moral character and be an expert sharp shooter. Being a member of the NRA would be a plus on the application. The IKC has only received 2 applications so far, one from Montana and one from the Congo in Africa. 

[Peary Court Development] Surprise, surprise, surprise! Hardly. Look at their past threats and behavior. Southeast Housing is trying to run around the tax appraiser and Judge Audlin by getting the little committee in Tallahassee to exempt it, a private corporation, from the 11 million in property taxes they owe the County. And Representative Raschein voted for it without asking us how we feel? Did she drink Horan’s Kool-aid?

Prime Rib Dinner    Live Music

[The Great War] 16 million people were killed in the Great War and 14 million were wounded. What was so ‘Great’ about it?

[Cruelty to Animals] I Have-a-heart trapped a cat that was living under a shed at a vacant house near me because it would howl all night.  I had to pick up the trap with a stick because the thing would go crazy when I got near and tried to claw me.  I took it to a local shelter where the ladies there met me with extreme disapproval and accused me of messing with someone’s pet. 

Was Bench Bob the first treasurer of the IKC?

Condemned to Death

I hear the funeral bells ringing
It’s the death of Mother Earth
A mother who loved us dearly
But we treated her like dirt

She gave us all her self
Her land, her sea, her sky
But we decided to murder her
Without a reason why

We’ve killed her living creatures
Polluted her wide seas
We did not care for nature
We filled her with disease

Some day will come in future
We’ll end killing ourselves
Cause death of Earth means death of us
For us the funeral bells!

~Poem by Kenneth Cassar 

The Space Exploration Technologies, or SpaceX, Dragon spacecraft stands inside a processing hangar at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida. Teams had just installed the spacecraft’s solar array fairings.

NASA and its international partners are targeting Friday, March 1, as the launch date for the next cargo resupply flight to the International Space Station by SpaceX. Launch is scheduled for 10:10 a.m. EST from Space Launch Complex 40 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida.

SpaceX’s Dragon capsule will be filled with about 1,200 pounds of supplies for the space station crew and experiments being conducted aboard the orbiting laboratory.

I back in at Winn Dixie because it’s easier to pull out of my parking space with my big ol’ gas hog pick-up. It’s safer (proven statistically) to do so. It’s also helpful because it allows me to see the slow thinking aged sloths who can’t seem to make a choice as simple as where to park in the lot; those who instead ride around and around looking for the closest space or worse, the morons who park in the thru-way while waiting for their sig-other to run inside for a minute. Nothing takes only a minute in WD.

There are no more lockers in train and bus stations. Bombs.

Conch blowing contest. Link

Distress call gets Captain in deep trouble. Coast Guard finds $6 million in marijuana. Link

[Cruise Ships] In cruising, as in flying, we do give over control for the most part. But we retain some control, as well. We can choose exemplary cruise lines (and pay more). We can wash our hands carefully and control our drinking. We can stay off high heels on slippery stairs in rough seas. We can purchase insurance that offers helicopter rescue in case of medical emergency.

I’ve taken over 50 cruises, with no major incidents. I’ve crossed the roughest waters in the world along the Drake Passage, and maneuvered through ice in Antarctica on a ship holding 500 people. So far so good. Yes, I do realize the risks, and I’m willing to take them. But cruising is an amazing, cost-effective opportunity to see the world, and if the itinerary is right, I’d board again in a minute.

And one byproduct of the Triumph’s sad tale is that for anyone willing to cruise in the next few months, the bargains are going to be fabulous. Especially on one particular cruise line.

Frankie Ford – Sea Cruise

Birds-of-Paradise Project. Video

Office Max Just got bought by Office Depot in a stock deal.

The difference between poison and venom is that poison is ingested and venom is injected.

Invasive Species Threatening S. Fla. Wildlife, Economy. Link

[IKC] At the emergency meting of the Iguana Killers Club last evening all candidates for President suggested we stock up on .177 pellets as Detective Bummer will try to confiscate our air rifles and pellets. Stores up and down the Keys report increased sales of pellets due to the crackdown on our Second Amendment rights. Detective Bummer has already stomped on our First Amendment right of free speech and is going after the 2d one.

“No offense” means I’m about to insult you so don’t get mad.

[“Cops At Flea Market”] First of all no one knows yet which vendor assaulted which vendor if any. The cops are getting over 50 bucks a hour for part time, private traffic duty (County gets a 100 an hour) What do you think the cops are doing? It’s the same thing they doing on the side of road under a shade tree in an AC 100k squad car; or sitting at a Walgreens parking lot. They are checking their email or playing words with friends or poker!

[Hunter Green] There are no membership fees to join the IKC. Just go to their web site and fill in the membership form and press send. It might take a week or so to get your free lifetime membership card as they have been flooded with membership requests over the last few days. Along with your membership card go will also receive a copy of the rules of engagement, a copy of the goals and objectives of the IKC and a list of upcoming hunting events and locations. You will also be entitled to any and all privileges awarded to each member. The IKC is a Keys Eco System friendly club that promotes Green hunting. 

A Dorothy Parker quote.

Never judge a book by its movie.

[Backing in] I’m a retired firefighter, not a redneck. I’m used to backing in because that’s all I did for over twenty years.

[“Cops at Flea Market”] It’s not just there that they are fiddling with their eGadgets, it everywhere. When was the last time you didn’t see a cop on an eGadget. If somebody needs them they just have to call 911 and they come a runnin’.

The IKC (iguana killers club) has been reorganized to rid our Keys of another pest that no one will be offended by killing them or ridding the keys of them—from now on the IKC will be known as the PBKC (the Palmetto bug killing club)—their will be no need for guns of any kind—you can use your shoe or a bad book—(I know ,cobblers and literary lovers will be up in arms)

Igloo from milk jugs. 

[Part Time Work] We are seeking a person with handyman skills who is also experienced in Keys gardening. Part time work could become full time. Must speak some English. Hourly rate depends on experience. Work will be between Mile Marker 14 and 21. Must have references. If you have a drivers license it is a plus. If you have a vehicle double plus, having a pickup truck is a huge advantage. The better your handyman skills, the more hours you can work. Can you-fix sprinkler systems, fix landscape lights, etc. Do you know the difference between an areca palm and a robellini or Bismarkia? That is a plus. If you do not have the gardening knowledge, we will teach you. But the musts: show up on time, when you say you will, ready to work. Classified Ads > Help Wanted

[“Former feral cats inside your house don’t damage carpet, furniture or the like, plus use a litter box”]  Three of my 4 formerly feral toms have made the transition and are fine in the house.  The fourth is still a work in progress.  It varies with individuals as to how long it takes them to learn “house manners”.  Many were raised that way and only need to be reminded, some have been wild all their lives and take longer.

Forecast for Deer Ed: Cloudy with a chance of lost menus. (Ed: that’s nothing. In the last week my main PC kept shutting off in the middle of work so I had the motherboard, power supply, 2 USB ports, and the heat sync replaced. In one day alone, one of my websites was off line, one printer wouldn’t scan and the other wouldn’t print from the laptop, the menu disappeared from the Coconut Telegraph, and my smartphone wouldn’t dial out. That’s just one day. If I could spend as much time editing this website instead of talking on tech support it would be a pretty cool site. The Dell repair dude, Edward, got it going and I was able to work on it all day yesterday. Today it turned off again after only ten minutes. I’m on the lame laptop now waiting until I finish the CT to go back on tech support to India. I know they are going to want me to reinstall Windows 7 Pro and all my software–a good week’s work and frustration. Whenever they can’t find the problem they have you start all over and reinstall Windows.)

How do you know that Jane Fonda was hated by all Nam vets? Some knew the war was wrong too.

[“Marathon sewer lateral connection grant money”] In order to qualify according to Hemeyer, financial help is available for families that earn 80 percent or less of what’s considered low income by the state. For a four-person family, income must be less than $69,350 per year. That puts the low income threshold at $86,700 per year. Am I reading this right? Is anyone still not on the dole?

Nautical yard sale this Sat corner ship’s way & u.s. 1. 8 am – 1 pm. boat stuff. Classified Ads

[Captain Doom and Gloom] “IKC” So much for humor and hip people. The anti-IKC posts really show the inept posters on this blog. What is next, getting the Cross ready to crucify the IKC Pres.? What happened to the good old Keys when MEN were men and woman and sissieboyz kept their mouths shut. Oh, that’s right the Holies took over!

“Mr. Garrisons explanation of the evolution of man” “You are the retarded offspring of five Miami monkeys having butt sex with a square grouper.”

[IKC Meanies] It is better to be a Meany than a banana sucking sissy, pal!

I just have to comment on the “who’s the biggest spender” charade in the Tuesday post. I know statistics can be adjusted to provide any solution you want, but that is obscene. If Obama did not spend it, who has the additional monies us citizens now owe? It is in the trillions of dollars that the debt went up in the last 4 plus years. Come on, be reasonable, I did not vote for him, but he is my president. I feel sorry for those who, by their views and language, chose hate over acceptance. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, by law, and by God. Do you realize what we are becoming, don’t you read how Iraq people bomb each other. Are we there yet?

[Bad Obama]

Year 2008, Dow-Jones at 8500

Year 2013, Dow-Jones at 14,000

Year 2013 NASDAQ at 3,200

Anyone have a problem with this?

[Good News] The NASDAQ was at a 12 year high yesterday which is very good news for the economy.

Life imitating art. Fox News grasping at straws. 

1. Rick Scott used the 5th amendment to avoid answering questions about his alleged fraud 75 times. The 5th amendment is used when someone does not want to answer questions because it may “incriminate” them. In 1 deposition Scott only answered 1 question and that was what was his name. Yep, a real beacon of transparency and honest business’ dealings there. So honest he didnt want prove to everyone how honest and above board he really is.Lots of innocent people dont want anyone to know.

2. 1 month now and still no proof of Obama saying he wants to take your guns away.

3. 3 months now and Romney still hasnt shared his plan to put millions and millions of people to work. Wheres his love of country first and why are the people from the right not asking him to share his  Magnificent, glorious, fantastic plan the right was telling us about forward to the national stage?

4. It rocks that America is now exporting more gas then it imports. Not so great that it does not really lower our prices but thats free enterprise at work. Oil and gas are sold on the open market to the highest bidder. Since we are not a socialist country and never will be its going to stay that way.

5. Whats with the rights uproar over Obama allowing the killing of terrorist with drone strikes? Whos side are they on. The republican party is turning into the Jane Fonda party. 

FROM THE RIGHT

Yesterday an Obamaphile bragged that Obama had killed more terrorists by drone attack than had Bush. Not only that, but he did it in half the time.  He’s probably right. Now, don’t you wonder how that could have happened?  The answer is crystal clear. The use of u/a/v’s as a weapon has been around since WW1, the problem was that until about 2000 nobody could make them work safely and reliably. Bush pushed for their development early on his admin. He had a Republican Legislative Branch, and he was able to get the funding for development of weaponized  u/a/v’s. DOD’s inventory of unmanned aircraft increased from only 300 to nearly 7,500 from 2002 to 2010. That increase was because of National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2001, which expressed (Republican) Congress’s desire that “within ten years, one-third of U.S. military operational deep strike aircraft will be unmanned.” This goal was seen at the time as very challenging, because DOD had no unmanned deep strike aircraft. Subsequently, the Fiscal 2007 Defense Authorization Act required the Secretary of Defense to “develop a policy, to be applicable throughout the Department of Defense, on research, development, test and evaluation, procurement, and operation of unmanned systems.”

Obama has been able to use the remarkable prowess of u/a/v’s only because GWB made them available to him.  Permit me to repeat; in 2002 Bush had only about 300 u/a/v’s. By 2008 there were sufficient Predators in our inventory to permit extensive use of the weapon. In 2008 the number of Predator strikes increased 94% over the previous year. The use of u/a/v’s as an offensive strike weapon was developed and matured during the GWB admin. Our entire nation, including Obama has reaped the rewards of his vision. Obama has been using a weapon and a strategy that was developed in the GWB admin.

Part 2) Do you remember Howard (the screamer) Dean?  He is an ultra liberal ex governor , failed presidential candidate, and a past chairman of the National Democrat Party. Very recently Dean was interviewed by Scott Rasmussen. During that interview Dean said about the middle class: “taxes are going to go up or your programs are going to get cut or else we’re going to go into financial oblivion, and nobody really wants to tell them that.”  It’s hard for me to believe it, but I actually agree with Dean on this issue.  Deer Friends Dean is actually repeating the Republican warning. He is right.

Part 3)  Obama is not speaking the truth when he claims that with sequestration first responders will lose jobs. Certainly every one of us knows that first responders are not federal employees. They are employed by state, county and municipal entities.  Furthermore he is not speaking the truth when he says that the cuts will be draconian.  Deer Friends, the cuts will do nothing but cut the rate of growth of our budgets.