Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays
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(Ed: Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)
|[Treasure] I skippered the big boat today. It’s a break in my fishing routine and gives me a little time to heal up. We ran out to Looe Key and put 29 young adults in the water. As a kid or young adult most all of us had a dream of finding sunken treasure, a pirate ship lost to the sea, gold coins & pieces of 8, old wooden chest broke apart by time & tide. Yes it’s all out there and today 3 of our crew found it. They were so excited they couldn’t talk. Where did it come from, not HMS Looe, she was not a treasure ship. There have been many wrecks on that reef over the years , of this I am sure. I shared this with the young adults who by now had become wild eyed kids who just found GOLD ! The whole boat, adults included fell victim to Gold Lust. I didn’t have the heart to tell them the coins were replicas and most likely put there as part of the Under Water Music festival.|
|[Rare Meat] If you like your steaks rare you might say “I like them bloody” but the red liquid that comes out of a rare steak isn’t actually blood (the majority of which is removed during slaughter) but water retained in the muscle tissue mixed with a protein called myoglobin.|
|[Crooks] The Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority tops the list when it comes to local government agencies that pay their employees more than $100,000 a year.The 260-employee FKAA has 23 people earning more than $100,000 a year plus benefits. By comparison, the roughly 500-employee Monroe County government has 17 employees earning more than $100,000 a year, while 130- employee Keys Energy Services and 470-employee City of Key West both have 11, according to a review of payroll salaries.FKAA Executive Director Kirk Zuelch makes $191,963|
|The best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question but to post the wrong answer.|
|Quite possibly the best meteor shower of the year — the Perseids — will be coming to a sky near you next week. “If you see one meteor shower this year, make it August’s Perseids or December’s Geminids,” NASA says. “The Perseids feature fast and bright meteors that frequently leave trains, and in 2015 there will be no moonlight to upstage the shower.”
There could be as many as 80 meteors per hour at the peak of the shower, NASA added, noting it’s among the brightest of all such meteor events. Plus they can be enjoyed during summer’s warmth, unlike the often nippy nights during the Leonids of November or Geminids of December.
“This major shower takes place during the lazy, hazy days of summer, when many families are on vacation,” EarthSky.org Bruce McClure said. Additionally, there won’t be any significant distracting moonlight, as the moon will only be a thin crescent in the sky. The Perseids can be best seen during the pre-dawn hours from Tuesday through Aug. 14, according to Earthsky.org, with the best show on Aug. 13.
|It has been published that FKAA will be charging their sewer customers a fee for usage once the notice to hook up is posted. Even if there is no connection. No turds have been processed by the mandated sewer, no service rendered. So how can they bill for no service rendered?
A long time ago, before anyone wants to admit, the FKAA was also committing dubious billing practices, causing the South Florida Water Management District to go down to Key West and take over the FKAA until all the unethical and/or Illegal acts were rectified and miscreants dealt with as required (promoted to a higher position or allowed to resign with a ‘golden parachute’).
From all the information available regarding this CRWS I hope that someone besides me should start asking WTF is going on. Anyone else tired of the whitewash; all because of this mandate which has been around since 1989?
|[“30% surcharge for foreign use”] I’m hoping that’s a typo, because I have more faith in humanity and don’t believe folks are that stupid. The foreign fee may be 3%, but it varies by the card. I have VISA cards with no foreign exchange fee. That surcharge is on the exchange rate.Regarding the 1% tax extension which I am very much supportive as it’s the best way to get the tourists to participate in funding infrastructure instead of all by the residents. I don’t recall the wording saying that it was for a ‘complete and fully funded sewer’. I recall it was earmarked for infrastructure.|
|[Deep, Not Shallow Wells] I can show you photos of excavations at the site showing tunnels, and layers of muck between layers of rock. The well videos from a lowered camera show tunnels and coarse holey rock starting at about 85 feet. There is absolutely no way that injected water does not escape rapidly. I firmly believe this last test is just more deceit from people who got caught pulling another fast one over the public and now are trying to save their face using our money. Call their bluff.|
|Monroe County has highest suicide rate in state. In just two years we’ve had 64! Seven people committed suicide in Key West just during July.|
|[Crooks] When the Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority installed its first sewer system in Little Venice-City of Marathon, which I had the privilege of being the senior field inspector, there was no extortion and no City of Marathon citizen was forced to give up their property.No taxpayer of the City of Marathon was forced to hire an electric contractor to install a high-voltage electric system to run their sewer system. No citizen of the City of Marathon is required to pay for the electricity to run their sewer equipment.The whole county voted for a tax to fund the sewer system so citizens — taxpayers — wouldn’t have to be discriminated against.|
|There are almost 5,000 gods being worshiped by humanity. But don’t worry, only yours is the right one.|
|[FKAA Pay] Zuelch at $191,963, Deputy Executive Director Kerry Shelby at $172,182 — plus benefits.|
|[Frisbee Dave] Mike Tolbert, who manages KOTS, Key West’s homeless shelter, told me Frisbee Dave was permanently banned from KOTS yesterday.
Maybe a year ago, Dave was taken to his Pennsylvania hometown by childhood friends for a high school reunion. When he returned to Key West with money they had given him, he started downhill. Maybe that was too much of a jolt for his fragile (bunker-hardened) psyche: going back in time to be with old friends who are doing well and he was homeless in Key West. Or maybe what tilted him over was they offered to get him inside, and a job, up there, and he turned them down because, he told me, he was free, they were not; why would he want to be like them? Whatever, I watched Dave go downhill after they tried to save him, after I told them he might not respond well to their efforts to try to save him. Before then, Dave would fall off his rocky horse and be nutty but not mean or aggressive. After the trip north, he changed. I told him the other day I sometimes write about him, so his old friends will know how he’s doing – a couple of them receive my daily ravings. Dave told me to tell them to all go fuck themselves.
Now Dave is the Key West Police Department’s problem. I hope they deal with him appropriately. He needs to be Baker Acted. He needs to be on a locked ward for a good while. Perhaps he can be stabilized on meds, which he does not like taking for bipolar disorder, he has told me. Perhaps he can be persuaded to lay off booze and spice if he is released.
It would be a bad move by the Key West police to force KOTS to take Dave back. He’s dangerous. He has been trying to provoke fights at KOTS. I have seen it myself. The police need to treat Dave as dangerous until, if, he is turned around by mental health professionals. And if that doesn’t work, he should be in jail where he is less likely to hurt someone else or get himself hurt. He is a small man. He thinks he’s bullet proof. There are plenty of bigger people around who might be inclined to prove to him that he is not. And then they might be in jail. ~Homeless Sloan
|[“30% surcharge for foreign use”] I think you heard wrong. The surcharge is 3% not 30 for international use. You are correct that the Discover Card has no foreign surcharge.|
|When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth. ~Billy – age 4|
|[Hybird with Wings] The future of transportation. I want one. Unfortunately this is a computer generated concept car. Video|
|I think you will enjoy this video about saving a whale tangled in net. Video.|
|[Alien Crooks] These marine thefts have been going on such a long time and no one has been caught or even come close to being caught. Either these thieves have a cloaking device or a lot of people are looking the other way. Something is rotten down here and it is just not the sewer plant.I can’t believe that all these dogs around here that bark at a mosquito farting would not hear someone removing a lower unit in their yard. We must have a cabal of invisible silent crooks operating down here, possibly aliens from another dimension who need the parts for their space ships. Call the National Inquirer, maybe they can get to the bottom of this|
|[The Healthy Reef] Dakuwaqa’s Garden – Underwater footage from Fiji & Tonga. Video|
|[Homeless Sloan] I think it was Friday before last, the water fountain in the county library on Fleming Street was broken and closed off for repairs. About last Thursday, I asked a fellow behind the front desk about the water fountain still being closed off, and he said they had put in three work orders. Today, Monday, ten or so days later, the water fountain still is closed off. I didn’t ask about it. But I wonder if it was the water fountain outside county county commissioners Heather Carruthers or Danny Kolhage’s offices, or outside county administrator Roman Gastesi’s office, it would still be down and closed off? Lots of homeless people use the library. They use the water fountain to fill their water bottles. I wonder if that is in play? No water fountain, maybe less homeless people will hang out at the library?|
|[Haiku for Corruption]
Stole our Money
|[Alligators Bite] The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) reminds everyone to be careful in and around water of alligators and crocodiles, especially now, as the weather heats up. The state hosts two native crocodilians: the American alligator, found in all 67 counties; and the American crocodile, sometimes found in coastal areas of the Keys and in southeast and southwest Florida. Both species have shared Florida’s waters with people for centuries. FWC recommends keeping pets away from the water.|
|[“Diet menus”] The only diet menu of which I’m aware requires the user to monitor what and how much passes between their lips.|
|Potation is one of the pitfalls of living ion the lower Keys too long. Many call it Keys disease.|
|[Neanderthal Computing] A computer friend told me if your old computer still does the work you need to do, turn off automatic updates and just use it until it mechanically dies. That way the computer merchants cannot bug you to up grade or buy new unneeded software or hardware. Engineered obsolesce is the American way to profits! Only the web browsers will cause a problem, but that can be worked around!|
|[Swim Record Set] First woman to complete shark-infested swim. It has been called one of the most dangerous swims in the world and Kim Chambers has just become the first woman to complete it. She swam 30 miles between the Farallon Islands and San Francisco in seas that contain some of the largest great white sharks in the world. Audio|
|[“Legalize it”] Legalize what? Drug-induced insanity? Get real. The findings that there is no medicinal value to marijuana stands. And no, state laws do not circumvent or overpower federal laws. Of course, you’re free to try.|
|[Volunteer at the Refuge] Do you enjoy talking with people who are visiting the Keys from other states and countries? Are you interested in learning more about your local National Wildlife Refuges and the wildlife and habitats they protect? If you’ve answered yes to these two questions, then we have a volunteer position available for you, no experience required. The National Key Deer Refuge and our Friends Group FAVOR are looking for a few volunteers to staff the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges Visitor Center on Big Pine Key. Volunteers typically do one 3.5 hour shift per week; either 9 am-12:30 pm, or 12:30 pm -4 pm. Duties include greeting and assisting visitors, educating visitors about the Key deer and other endangered species, and suggesting opportunities for getting people outdoors. Please contact Kristie Killam at 305-304-9625 or email@example.com for more information.|
|[Iraq] The US replaced a corrupt dictatorship in Iraq with a corrupt democracy.|
[Watermelon Pizza] You’ll need a fork, the watermelon could collapse at any moment.
|[Grinder Pump Location] I’ve been notified that my neighborhood is getting grinder pumps, and now I have to tell them where I want them to locate the equipment. I am looking for thoughts on the pros and cons of various locations. Close to the street? Or close to the house? Corner of property? Center of property? Anything else I should consider? I’m sure that loaded question will generate some good, sarcastic replies.|
I made a horrible mistake; I bought a drink for a Jersey girl last night and look what was waiting for me this morning!
|[Police Scanner] I used to be able to pick up local feeds (MCSO, KEYS, etc) using a scanner app on my smartphone, but now all I see is the Islamorada Fire Department. Anybody know what happened?|
|[Haiku to DirecTV]
Saw my bill
Almost passed out
|I took some Chinese students studying in the US to the reef. None had ever been in a boat or seen small pleasure boats like we have around here. They were only familiar with large yachts for pleasure. I tried to explain that smaller boats are much more fun because they can go in shallow water and you can fish, sightsee, and dive from a small boat. A large yacht is not for fun, they are to go from point A to point B or to impress others with the owner’s wealth. I tried to explain that for purely fun, a small boat is where it’s at.When we got to the reef and I moored to one of the mooring balls they wanted to know it I owned it. They think I’m terribly rich. They all were surprised at the level of conservation we have here with the reef and refuges. They said there are no longer any fish in China.|
|[Hacking] I have a website that is continually resisting hacking attempts from different countries, usually Slovenia, Russia, China and other nasty countries. Today there were 5 attempts at hacking — all from Salt Lake City! Are the Mormons trying to get to me because I made fun of their silly underwear?|
Drank too much, passed out on the bar.
|I used to think I had a drinking problem so I quit thinking.|
|Four stories about Merle Haggard. Link|
|The Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club will hold its monthly “Show & Shine” Saturday, August 15th from 5 – 8 pm at the Sugarloaf Lodge Parking lot. (mm 17). The Car Club will provide Free ice cream treats. Show your custom, classic, or street rod automobiles, trucks & motorcycles of all years and makes. If it’s cool and on wheels, drive it to the show. Great t-shirts, tanks, and caps will be for sale. A plaque will be awarded for “People’s Choice”. Be sure to vote. The Club’s sound system will provide 50′s and 60′s music. Bring the kids to enjoy these beautiful relics of the auto world. This is a free event. Club members are seeking new members for a full schedule of shows & events. Join Saturday and get the new Club hat! Contact Dick Moody 305-942-1758.|
|[Germs] Do some unscrupulous doctors spread diseases just to make money? Some office waiting rooms make you think so!|
|[Haiku for the government tinkering with the weather]
Endangered Species Extinct
|[Captain Doom and Gloom] DEF; Lawyer n. SEE: Incurable Toe Nail Fungus
DEF; Judge n. A egomaniac playing God in chambers.
DEF; Hardass n. That calloused condition one gets just before alcoholism turns into diabetes.
DEF; Bore n, A person who cries in their beer while wearing ear plugs.
DEF; AT&T n. Attack Terrorize & Tax
DEF; FKAA n. @#$% $%^# #$&* #$&
|Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to firstname.lastname@example.org|