Tuesday, September 12, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002
Published Tuesdays and Fridays. Letters to the editor with pictures.

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 (Ed: Whew! What a strange trip it’s been. We evacuated because of peer pressure. We drove across the state of Florida — TWICE, and the length of Florida once — so far, trying to outsmart Irma. Irma was smarter. We ended up in a hotel in Jacksonville, FL without electricity. We’re still here. At least the electric is back on [but no hot water]. Big Pine Key suffered a direct hit and we fear corporate headquarters is lost and the corporate yacht is no more. We are going out later looking for food and water to bring back to Big Pine. We’ll probably attempt to return Wednesday if they’re allowing folks to go back by then. My neighbor just texted that he was held up at MM 73 where they were only letting first responders to pass. MM30 sure looks like a long ways off. Stay tuned.)
What happened to Little Palm Island? Is it still there?

 

[Missing] Does anyone recognize this house? I’m searching for my sister who was here during Irma. Any help is appreciated.
~jekafoo@gmail.com

Isaksen-2.2016
Hi there – any word on No Name Pub?
Thank you!
I hope all of you are safe and well, wherever you are.
FYI, the Red Cross has a site where you can register so your friends and relatives can check on you. Searchers must have either your phone number or your full home address to find you. You choose how much information to disclose. I registered and verified that all they disclosed was my intended message, which is that I am safe and well. You can search via my name, Laura Knight, and phone number, 828-577-5389, if you want to verify for yourself.
What is being done to protect the key deer from hurricane Irma?Deer Ed, Now that you are safely ensconced in your new environs and have nothing to do, maybe you should post a little more frequently.  Call it an Emergency Edition, or some such.  What would be nice is pictures or videos from those who have stayed behind or have returned after the storm.
Johnsons-7.7.16
Some nasty pictures of Big Pine Key. Video

 

 

PARADISE DOES NOT COME EASY!

My friends Julie and Steve Wallin are staying in IL. They live at 328 Palmetto on Big Pine Key. Do you know of any way they can find out if their house is still standing? They do know that 2 houses on Palmetto were leveled by the hurricane
We the locked out residents of Big Pine Key would like an Ariel view of the island. Not being allowed to re-enter we should like a view so as to see if our homes are still standing. Thank you from the residents.

 

 

[Important Claims Numbers] The Staff at Isaksen Insurance.

I’m here in Largo with my sister. there seems to be nothing to do right now except wait. No one is getting into the keys until it is safe, whatever that means. those who stayed on bpk are either dead or insane, with the bugs and heat, no water, no Winn-Dixie, nada. stay where you are for a few more days at least. there is probably no there there anymore.
Who was it, Marco Rubio, who said that those who survived and stayed in the Keys should be forcefully evacuated now. What an ass.
Man, if Emergency Management wanted us to be on the same page as them, they should have come down to our level ( Reality) and told us the facts. Coconuts closed. Brass Monkey closed. Dog House closed. My gosh. All of us would have evacuated. It’s too windy to drive to another bar now. I might be an asshole when I drink, but it’s fun to share. In my case there’s nothing worse than drinking with me alone. I pray you and your family are safe Ed. Oh no. I said something nice. I must be sobering up. I need to drink more….
Big Pine Key Winn Dixie’s Weekly Ad
Do you have any up to date pictures of Big Pine Key?  Daughter lives on 29561 Constitution Avenue.  Thanks so much, The McKinney’sIf someone enjoys posting video, can you please go to Astrangia street on LTK and West Shore Drive on BPK? Best Wishes everyoneSending love from Nashville. Lots of friends on Big Pine got out. Hope you & everyone is OK.  ~Didi & Greg, Sterling, Nashville, TN

 

 

Where do birds go in a hurricane? Link

(Ed: If we can get back home, I don’t know when the next Coconut Telegraph will be published as there is no electricity or internet. It might be quite a while. If you don’t see the CT next Friday, it’s not for lack of trying; even if I have to continue using this shitty laptop that I plan to deep six after the electricity comes back on.)
How low can you go?  The latest move by the sleazebag who owns the three Shell stations reared its ugly head as the hurricane approached.  Not only did he immediately jack up the price 20 cents a gallon when Hurricane Harvey hit, when the Tom Thumb ran out of gas on Wednesday, he raised his price another dime to $3.09 a gallon later in the day.  I cannot imagine why anyone would patronize this greedy SOB!  ~jdykhuisen@aol.com
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