Tuesday, March 10, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

(Ed: Many of you are not able to view the current Coconut Telegraph. The only viewers having trouble are those who have been to this site before. They likely have cookies turned on and are seeing previous postings. New visitors are not having the problem. I’m working to solve the problem.)
Nira-Tocco-6.14
closed6[Keys Tough on Business] A couple of weeks ago the Big Pine restaurant next to the post office closed and it’s for sale. So are Bistro 31, Slice of Paradise, Bagel Island & The Crab Shack. The Wharf sold a couple months ago. ZaZa’s closed a while ago. Yesterday I heard Springer’s is on the market.
Is it not possible to turn a profit even during season anymore?
I have AT&T Yahoo as my ISP and am getting sick and tired of the on and off connection, the slow speed which I am over paying for that should be faster, and the absolute garbage that Yahoo posts as news on my home page. I had Comcast before this AT&T mess, but they were just as bad with the garbage news and lousy cable connection. Suggestions, please!
accurate-home-insp-750w
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flouride-badIt’s the water! FKAA adds fluoride to your tap water at a concentration of about 1.0 ppm. Contrary to what you’ve been told, it has never been proven to protect teeth. Actually, it alters the molecular structure in a manner that makes them harder but more brittle. Now a massive study of the U.K. population has found that with a concentration of less than 1/3 of what goes in the water here, there was a 30% higher incidence of diagnosed hypothyroidism. They even compared adjacent communities with and without fluoride and the results were conclusive. Common symptoms of hypothyroidism are: uncontrollable weight gain, memory problems, high cholesterol, joint and muscle pain, depression, anxiety and mood swings, sensitivity to cold, and exhaustion. And here you thought it was Keys Disease or aging! It’s the water! Fluoride in the water is also linked to a 10 point lower IQ, bone cancer, hip fractures, iodine deficiency, and bad teeth. Only reverse osmosis or distillation will remove fluoride from your water. It goes right through common charcoal purification filters. Don’t believe FKAA hype. Tap water is NOT the best drink in town! It’s literally poisoned. I prefer beer imported from non-fluoridated regions. Here’s to you!
fanci10-16-14
Balfour Beatty is not the only mega – corporation owning the former military housing. Here’s a list of the other companies owning  many thousands of them all over the nation and some of them ARE paying their fair share of property taxes as they should. The Florida legislature here is trying to exempt  that from happening  with a new law ( retroactive to 2007 when they purchased the Florida properties  Hmmm… )  which means we all pick up the difference for school taxes and other needs these private companies require for their housing- even when they rent to civilians which they are doing here as well as other places.
ship in a bottle[The Perfect Boat] Awhile ago someone posted advice about buying a boat, to look around and buy what you see being used in the local waters. Makes good sense. I won’t be doing much fishing so am looking to buy more of a cruising boat for the backcountry. My question is since I see almost exclusively center consoles with very little upholstered seating, how does the Hurricane type deck boat hold up down here? It would seem not to fit the mold for a good choice since it has acres of upholstered seats, low freeboard and a low helm with a tiny windshield. Yet they seem to be popular anyway. How do they hold up? Can you get a dry ride from them with all that low exposed seating?
The traffic light at Key Largo has caused significant delays on hwy 1 for months. Even during off peak traffic expect to wait through two light cycles because of the inefficient way the left turn lights sequence. Using a standard system like the rest of the state would prevent this waste of time and fuel.
Radio-Shack10.31.14
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squirt gun water pistol[Gun Nuts] The number of Americans who live in a household with at least one gun is lower than it’s ever been, according to a major American trend survey that finds the decline in gun ownership is paralleled by a reduction in the number of Americans who hunt. According to the latest General Social Survey, 32 percent of Americans either own a firearm themselves or live with someone who does, which ties a record low set in 2010. That’s a significant decline since the late 1970s and early 1980s, when about half of Americans told researchers there was a gun in their household.
I’ll bet they wrote this in the Keys. The Black CrowesThe Dolphins (Cabin Fever)
Isaksen11.5.14
shrimp-netderelict shrimp net that had been trapping fish near Toppino Light was removed last week by sanctuary staff. Stock Island Approach Channel Marker Light 32, known to locals as Toppino Light, is missing the platform which held a reflective triangle and light to mark the reef. The damage appears to have happened when the outrigging of a shrimp boat collided with the marker.A temporary light, placed at the location by the Coast Guard, marks which side of the reef is safe for boaters, so they can avoid the hazard posed by the reef and other marine debris at the site. There are plans for rebuilding the aid to navigation, but dates have not yet been confirmed, according to the Coast Guard.When the sanctuary first investigated the scene in late January, they saw several juvenile yellowtail hovering around the net, and a rock hind trapped inside. As they watched, a nurse shark came to the scene and began to feed on the rock hind.

“The net posed a hazard to fish and had the potential to entangle other marine life, so we targeted it as a priority for removal,” said Sean Morton, sanctuary superintendent.

Remaining pieces of the rigging, which were heavier and will require lift bags for removal, were tagged with marker buoys for retrieval at a later date. Fury, one of the sanctuary’s Blue Star Operators, has offered to assist with the removal of the remaining debris. Blue Star is a certification program run by the sanctuary to recognize tour operators who are committed to promoting responsible and sustainable diving and snorkeling practices to reduce the impact of these activities on coral reefs in the Florida Keys

BP-Flea-Market10.10.14
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old lady party beer[How To Go To A Party And Be Invited Back] Find out what kind of party it is. Call and check.  If it is a child’s birthday and you are single, don’t go! You probably have nothing in common with Mommies and Daddies! If it is a orgy and you are fat and ugly, you probably were invited by mistake.Find out who else is invited and decide if you want to associate with them. It is very embarrassing not to want to talk to anyone or meeting an enemy. Always inform the host whether you will be coming or not. Never leave it open.Find out the dress code. Toga’s, tux’s, suites, cut-offs and g-strings have their special places. Dress accordingly and always up scale. Have fun no matter what!
If they are going to put in this massive shopping center, then they should provide affordable housing on the site  for their employees, maybe a second story or separate building? That might  help with the traffic problems a little
manley-deboer-1.9.15
dunce2Why would FKAA select an engineer with no prior experience to design their biggest sewer collection system in the most environmentally sensitive area? Is it any wonder that it does not even meet minimum national standards, as admitted in recent DOAH testimony? The president of that engineering company testified that the only previous experience they had with E-One pumps was 30 in Duck Key, and those are not yet fully operational over two years later. The relevant testimony begins on page 597 of the court transcript:
“Q. How many systems have you installed using the E/One grinder pump? A. We have had thirty in Duck Key.
Q. The extent of your design experience with the E/One pump is Duck Key?  A. Prior to this project, yes.
Our commissioner should really reconsider his decision to “trust my engineers.” They didn’t know what they were doing and neither did their consultant. Your tax dollars at work
Coconuts-sign-ad-750w
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trash99
Dear Monroe County Commissioners, the idea of separating our yard trash for a “fuel source” seems to be a terrific idea. However, once a week pick-up for yard trash is already not working, and yard trash will double during the Summer months. Please allow twice a week pick-up for yard trash.
Sounds like that single woman looking for a trailer is definitely in the wrong area in more ways than one.
Springers12.9.14
engineer9
[Sewers] I spoke to a sewer engineer hired to do work on the ongoing sewer project. He said he’s never seen such a poorly designed project in his years working on sewer projects around the country
[Yesterday’s tarpon recipe] That is a takeoff on the Ancient recipe for Carp. Try something new. Soon with the increasing draconian restrictions by the possum nazis all that’ll be available for sale will be trash fish. So stock up on cedar planks.
johnsons-7.9.14
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crazy tear hair outYearly Dementia Test — only 4 questions
It’s that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you’re losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don’t see the answers until you’ve made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

  1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: ‘bread.’ If you said ‘toast’ give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

  1. Say ‘silk’ five times. Now spell ‘silk.’
  2. What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said ‘milk,’ don’t attempt the next question.
Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.
Content yourself with reading more appropriate literature such as Auto World.
However, if you said ‘water’, proceed to question 3.

  1. If a red house is made from red bricks and
    a blue house is made from blue bricks and
    a pink house is made from pink bricks and
    a black house is made from black bricks,
    what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.
If you said ‘green bricks,’ why are you still reading these?
If you said ‘glass,’ go on to Question 4

  1. Without using a calculator-
    You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales .
    In London , 17 people get on the bus.
    In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.
    In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on.
    In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.
    In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.
    In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.
    You then arrive at Milford Haven…

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don’t you remember your own age? It was you driving the bus!

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!

hareens 12.2.14
Live web cams all over the place. Video
scuba sargent majors
Please take a few minutes to help determine Scuba Diving’s top 100 Gold List of operators and enter to win one of the following prizes: A week of four to five dives per day in the Indian Ocean, complemented by chef-prepared meals, aboard the luxury yacht Maldives Aggressor III (valued at $2,495). ScubaPro MK25 EVO/A700 regulator (valued at $859). SeaLife DC1400 Underwater Camera (valued at $529.95).  Click link to get vote. Link
Fridays posts told it like it is and some even said things the CT has never mentioned before. It is about time Ed posted what people think and say without editing!
bluewater-750w
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pump vane
Pressure Washer
. 4000 psi Pressure Washer. 13hp Honda engine. CAT pump. Runs good. $350. Includes hose and wand. Original owner. Call Lenny Classified Ads > Tools
[?]Looks like March Madness was another failure this year. I only had four cars stop. It wasn’t worth setting up my junk! Never again!
politics-zone-750w
If someone says something that  FTR disagrees with FTR says they are lying.
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from the right
I had intended to ignore the Democrats and the Obama admin in this post and instead concentrate on the outstanding Republican field of potential Presidential candidates. But revelations in the last couple of days are too important to ignore.Once again Obama has given America the single digit salute. His disdain for the intellect of Americans, and his contempt for the truth are monumental.email privateCertainly you will remember that it was only a few days ago when he so solemnly and earnestly assured all of us that he had no knowledge of Hillary’s private email system. He averred that it was his policy and rules that all governmental email traffic be by secure, government servers and addresses only. Remember when he told America and the world that he learned of her private account at “the same time everybody else learned it, through news reports.”

As of Monday he was singing a different tune, a tune that was shockingly discordant. Now he is admitting that he did receive emails from Hillary using her private system and address, and that he did send emails to Hillary’s private system and address. His Press Secy, Josh Earnest told reporters ““The point that the president was making is not that he didn’t know Secretary Clinton’s email address, he did…” Link

Was he lying then or is he lying now?

Or is he and his staff incapable of knowing a lie from the truth, or do they care?

donky-dung9The pile of Donkey Dung grows deeper and even more noxious. Now we have learned that even though the Clintonista’s are assuring us that all of her emails have been sent to State for review and publication, we learn that there are massive gaps in time in the email record.

For example as of now, there is no documentation of Hillary’s emails from her trip to Libya after the Benghazi attack despite a popular photo image of her using a handheld device during a flight to that country.

“We have no emails from that day. In fact we have no emails from that trip,” said Gowdy, who heads the committee in the U.S. House of Representatives. “There are huge gaps.” It’s apparent that we’ve seen only the tip of the ice berg.

There should have been another character in the Wizard of Oz movie. In the movie the lion had no courage, the strawman had no brain, the tinman had no heart.  The additional character should have been a snake, a snake with jug ears, a jutting chin, and a Cheshire grin. The snake had no truth, and wanted none. The snake would have been a familiar for the Wicked Witch of the West