Tuesday, January 27, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

sunset27
The sky was on fire yesterday at sunset. Amazing!
manley-deboer-1.9.15
Lordy-lordy, what a day Monday was. When I woke up, my wife told me she was late (not for work). Then when I got to my office, my secretary told me she was late (not for work, either). But the absolute worst was  “Due to a zillion emails, The CT will be late.” That really did it!
food-bank-2014JC and Colleen Massey accept a check for $600 for the Methodist Church Food Pantry from the Coconuts’ Christmas Tree. The Coconuts’ Christmas Tree is an annual event where customers pin money on the tree and Coconuts matches it. Many thanks to all who helped us feed our community!
[“Conspiracy“] While we are talking conspiracies, maybe there is more to the plan to release all those Franken-skeeters in Key West. The US military dumped mosquitoes on Avon Park, FL in an experiment in biological warfare back in the fifties. I’m sure there is no more morality or common sense today, but now military work is often outsourced. If a few hundred thousand is spent on a batch of GMO mosquitoes that must live and breed to accomplish the experiment, then don’t count on seeing the mosquito spray truck on its usual schedule. Here is a newspaper article about the Avon Park insect dumping by the military. Link
it pays to advertise27[Big Pine Shipping] Well you’re doing the first thing right already by posting on the CT.
I’ve lived here for two years before I realized there was a shipping service in Big Pine. I used to drive all the way to Marathon just to go to the UPS store until I found out there was a shipping store right here. If you’re not right on US1 people may not know you exist.
Bill Nye’s message to FTR on climate change. Link
Coconuts-sign-ad-750w
Family finds 13.5 pounds of decade-old marijuana stashed in the family van’s door. Video
glutten27
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fat-chick-license-plate
They live!
House for rent on Big Pine Key in Port Pine Heights. 2/2 on canal, furnished or unfurnished, long term lease, W/D central air, no smoking and no pets, References, F/L/S $2250 plus utilities. Call Pat  Classified Ads > For Rent
skinny27
I think that you fat-shaming guys have finally got the attention of those Jersey girls.
[“Military helicopter doing some crazy stunt flying very close to the ground”] It is Mosquito Control doing their thing keeping us safe from attack.
Springers12.9.14
I’m sorry to hear about the Crab Shack closing. I always hate to see a local business succumb, and people having health issues. The independents are what make the Keys so unique, and I’ll keep patronizing as many as I can. Be well Barb!
charles-curtis27Charles Curtis first Native American Vice President and Republican. Elected to the House of Representatives in 1892, he would serve 14 years in the House, and then 20 of the next 22 years in the Senate, where he rose to the Senate majority leader upon the death of Henry Cabot Lodge. As Senate Republican Whip, Charles Curtis had a knack for getting legislation passed. Charles Curtis also believed in assimilation. With the loss of the presidency for Republicans in 1932 came a loss of assimilation for Indians. FDR and the Democrats restored the tribes in 1934. Charles Curtis died two years later. He had made his mark on history for the good, only to see it erased by FDR and those who believe the Indian’s place was on the reservation — not the White House. His legacy of assimilation is now mocked as selling out by revisionist historians.
Only two Native American Indians now serve in Congress, Tom Cole and Mark Wayne Mullin. Both are also Republicans, congressmen from Oklahoma. Charles Curtis died February 8, 1936.
Hypothetically speaking, what if there were no hypothetical questions?
orchid-white00
This guy just popped open this morning.
I live in St. Thomas USVI.  I have contracted chikungunya.  My legs and joints hurt like you can’t believe.  It sucks but will eventually go away.  There is no cure or treatment. Link
johnsons-7.9.14
[“9/11 Conspiracy”]  And another thing, WWII never happened, it was a cover up due to the alien invasion. JFK was never elected and Nixon served 7 consecutive terms. Also I saw John Lennon and Elvis sharing a doobie behind Springer’s. And the key deer — they really aren’t key deer!
car-cuba27[Cuba’s Cars] I thought you might enjoy seeing what is there. As soon as trade with Cuba is approved all those cars will be bought by Americans and shipped back here. Link
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fosters27Australia is celebrating. It’s a great, great country! I love Olivia-Newton John and her music.  I’m told Australia had/has some decent bands, but I don’t know. Maybe I’m too old. I loved that Righteous Brothers video of “Little Latin Lupe Lu” yesterday. I love this “Grease” song. I think it is Australian!

John Travolta & Olivia Newton — You’re The One That I Want (ooh ooh ooh)

[Drinking Water Conspiracy] I discovered from their website that FKAA dumps approximately a quarter million pounds of Hydrofluosilicic Acid (H2SiF6) in our water supply every year. That is a huge attack on your bones and thyroid, but it keeps the natives from uprising due to its pacification abilities. Now you know the source of Keys Disease — it’s the water! Here’s an article about this silent killer. Link
hareens 12.2.14
[“9/11 conspiracy”] Look up a guy named Michael Ruppert. He will straighten things up for you. He made all the connections back to Wall Street. Of course he’s dead now of a supposed self inflicted gun shot. The places that “got hit”, were all hiding the financial corruption of the Pentagon, Enron, and other stuff. I’ve seen what greed does to people in the Keys, I can’t even comprehend the greed at the level we’re talking about. Everybody could be considered collateral damage to further their goals.
chicken-pesto-pasta27Happy Tuesday from Springer’s Bar and Grill. It’s another gorgeous day in paradise. Have we got a great special for you today … Chicken Pesto over Pasta. A delicious palate pleasing special.

Wednesday special: Santa Fe Shepard’s pie
Thursday special: shrimp salad
Friday special: beer batter fish and chips or fish Florentine.

This Sunday is Super Bowl. What’s everyone doing? they’re going to Springer’s. Join us for the festivities. The Big Game starts at 6:30, and all 14 televisions will be tuned in to catch all the action!
There will be a 50/50 raffle throughout the day to benefit the Friends of Bahia Honda State Park. A non profit community organization to help funding improvements to the park. As always our corn hole boards will be set up for all you enthusiasts who want to get your game on before kick off. Remember Springer and the gang are always up for a challenge, so come on in and take on some of our corn hole league champions. Join us at Springer’s for a day of great food, fun and game-time excitement. See you there!

life27
The celebration of life of Scott “Patron” Foultz will be held Saturday February 7th at the Looe Key Tiki Bar, from 12-6 P.M. We will have potluck, 50/50 raffle, silent auction, beer and drinks. Featured bands will be the Ray West Band, The Moondogs, Category 4, The Billy Brown Band. All proceeds from the benefit will be deposited into a bank account for Scott’s 1 year old baby daughter, London Foultz. Please come and participate in this celebration. The hit and run driver is still being sought by FHP with a $3,000 reward. If anyone has any information please call FHP. Thank you. Events
bluewater-750w
[Kessler Getting Fired] Please support Mr. Kessler in his bid to continue to be the Chairman of the Finance Committee for the school board. I believe that he is only concerned with the accurate policy of record keeping and spending of your tax dollars. Since Mr. Kessler is a volunteer in his position of Chairman of the Finance Committee, what other motive can he have for his non paid position. I do not remember Mr. Kessler mentioning the construction company in any of his political forms, but he did tout the poor bookkeeping practices for the HOB school project. Do you care where your hard earned money is spent?
heliocopter army[“What looked like a military helicopter was doing some crazy stunt flying”] That was no military helo, although the pilots are badass. It’s our mosquito control helo dropping adulticide in the waters nearby. That’s because if they didn’t the mosquitoes would run us out of here. I’ve heard one of the flyers is a girl, although I can’t verify it. Flying that low and that precise takes natural skill and hours of flying. Whoever is in the left seat has my respect!
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winners-chili[Bikers Go ‘NUTs] Tourist, bikers & locals all went NUTs with ABATE. I’m not sure if this is the 13th or 14th annual ABATE Chili Cook Off. I am sure a very good time was had by all. And the winners are … Doug & Roberta Leps!  You guys cooked some badass chili.
[“Eyewitness to 9/11”] Even though there were thousands of eyewitnesses to that tragedy that is no reason for conspiracy theorists to believe you. The version they like is the one they written on the internet by other theorists who weren’t there either. You cannot change a conspiracy theorist’s mind. Everyone knows that. Witnessing an event means nothing to them. Facts are something to be re-imagined to them. Case in point: the Holocaust. Throngs of people around the world don’t believe it ever happened. Same with Neil Armstrong’s landing on the Moon. Conspiracy theorists can prove that none of those events ever happened. They dreamed it and wrote about it on the Internet. For them, their version has to be true!
Nira-Tocco-6.14
firefly jar
Haiku – Basho
Seen in plain daylight
the firefly is nothing but
an insect.
This video gives meaning to the phrase dumb shit! Video
django27
[Guitar Wizard] Two fingers and a thumb is all he had! With Stephan Grappelli on violin they made some of the first popular jazz in the 30s. Innovation that is still hard to match.

Django Reinhardt: Three-Fingered Lightning

accurate-home-insp-750w
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funeral27
[Gift Giving] I too was in a quandary on what to do for Valentines. Now all my problems are solved.
I have tried 3 times to place adds on your web site what’s the trick. (Ed: No trick, just send them.)
fanci10-16-14
[“Conspiracy”] “Eye witness Pentagon 9/11” We have a local firefighter who saw wreckage in the Pentagon. Nobody contests that something hit the Pentagon. Rumsfeld accidently said it was a cruise missile during an interview that you can hear in the movie “In Plane Sight”. The size of the jet turbine found at the scene is consistent with a cruise missile, as is the size of the hole, the penetration of the “bunker buster”, and the lack of luggage or bodies. Plus, there were no wings or stabilizer outside the building. Not one of the many security camera recordings confiscated from the area was released showing a plane. The wings of the purported plane would not fit between the poles of which only one was knocked down. As for the Navy guy who said he saw a plane fly over his head into the Pentagon as he was outside having a smoke. I don’t believe him.  “If the plane don’t fit, you must acquit (the plane)”
sunday27
To the person who doesn’t seem to believe small businesses employ the most people.  Yes, small businesses in this country do employ the most people.  I’ve had as many as eight. Not much, but I’ll bet you’ve never had the guts to start your own business.  Very few have the drive to go on their own. Fortunately I was raised by parents who encouraged self sufficiency.  Out of six children and our wives/husbands, ten of us work for ourselves and employ others.  None have ever collected welfare or unemployment.  Before you doubt small businesses start your own, see if you can make it
Radio-Shack10.31.14
[“Conspiracy”] Movie producers and writers sit around thinking of alternate scenarios to events so they can make exciting movies. I think some of their brainstorming sessions leaked and conspiracy theorists snatched them up as fact.
jatropha00
Jatropha
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tin-foil-hat27[“Conspiracy believers”]  Just to check out their theories I added three inches to the antennas on my tin foil hat (made with a kitchen colander and Heavy Duty Reynolds Wrap), and contacted my astro guide and mentor, Zork, on the planet Kosthos. He told me that these theorists are using bad technology (not enough foil) and receiving information from their astro guides are from the alternate reality planet, Myconus where it is known to distribute inane and ridiculous ideas and information to those of us who are otherwise aware of the true astral contact with verifiable facts. I find it’s quite helpful to roll and smoke a big fatty before putting on my foil hat as it seems to add to the astral contact experience.
Our resident conspiracy nut asks, “Who are you gonna believe, me or your lyin’ eyes?”
Isaksen11.5.14
[“Manatee alert!] Pay extra attention and slow down in the Eden Pines canals. I spotted a manatee headed in Monday afternoon.
Life-and-Grave
Life & Grave
by Marylène Proner capturing the life and emotions of Key West. Link
Life is like a sewer, what you put into it, is what you get out of it.  ~A. Bunker
editing27
[“CT delayed due to too many posts”] You could speed up the process by not editing all those pesky posts!
[Homeless] Down in Key West somebody was fighting at the homeless shelter. A person got violent and was thrown out of a place? Really? Good job whoever threw the violent individual out. As for getting stolen from at a homeless shelter? Are those choirboys really capable of theft? Why, hell, someone that would resort to violence in a place provided for them to sleep free of charge would never lie or twist a fact to justify their violent attack on another human being. Would they? Ya’ll got too much time on your hands down there in Key West. Stop to smell the frangipani, come up feed a Key deer or whatever, but sitting around writing about bums being bums is just plain weird. That guy Sloan that talks about bums all the time can tell you homeless people are addicts and drunks and some are violent. He has said it over and over. Ask him what he thinks of a guy getting thrown out for being violent around other people for whatever reason?
orion27
Meet the Orion family of stars. Video
[“Former Marine”] There is no such thing. Former? Really? A Marine is a Marine.
BP-Flea-Market10.10.14
[“The Coconut Telegraph is no long open on Saturdays and Sundays and I do not miss it at all. It seems my brain is grown back to normal with out all the dumb stuff from”] But, yet, you post this on Sunday so it would be here Monday.
pinch31
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bill-1.27.15[Captain Doom and Gloom]
DEF: Lazy n, Stupidity denoted as ‘I just don’t have the time to….’!
DEF: Hospital n, A place to go to if you want a famous disease.
DEF: Doctor n, A person hoping not to make the same mistakes his predecessors practiced.
DEF: Patient n, A person linked to a medical insurance payment.
DEF: Muslim n, A child in a adult body with thoughts of 15 seconds of fame!
DEF: Catholic n, A delusional person that follows teachings of a Jewish person.
DEF: Atheist n, Someone out numbered by crazy religious nuts!
I hit the BP shipping link and got nada.
Thank you Paul!
am replacing ad to include pictures
politics-zone-750w
Job Creation. Without Texas Obama’s policy’s have created a negative 275,290 jobs for the rest of the country since taking office. Texas’ Republican governor refused the Obama care mandate, ignored the lefts anti fossil fuel fanatacism, rejected the massive intrusion into state Medicaid, cut taxes and created more than 1,444,290 jobs while Obama and the infantile left managed to lose almost a quarter million more. Imagine if the rest of the country was not subjected to the brutal beat down by leftist fantasies. Imagine the suffering that could be eased, the real hope that could be created. Imagine…just imagine
Conservatives believe in fossil fuels but they don’t believe in fossils. Conservatives really are not that bright.
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You Have to love the Republicans top Presidential candidates. Especially Sarah Palin and The Donald.

In the words of Sarah Palin “its not if the mans going to run you around its about unemployment and the situation with I don’t know maybe global warming and our national security are for sale along with the middle class I love the words middle class those words mean things”.

Yep, with that reasoning and brilliance she is indeed at the top of the G.O.P. food chain.

from the right
right-wing-cooked
FTR is away getting a new Right wing. He’ll return as soon as he’s well. Get well soon FTR!