Tuesday, January 10, 2017

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

[Ratting-out Neighbors] We live on an Island of cowards who contact Code Enforcement every time a service truck comes to our property. If it weren’t anonymous for them to report their neighbors on line without identifying themselves, they would not do so. They are cowards with only a voice through County Government. If something is bothering you about your neighbor’s property, approach them in person, discuss it like adults, and move on. This conduct is not neighborly but vicious, hateful and full of spite. There is no need to waste taxpayer’s money, code enforcement’s time, or aggravate folks who are minding their own business and fixing up their homes. Shame on you!
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[Bucktooth Rooster Loves Locals] Out of the 43 employees we have, five are family, the other 38 are local folks that we were lucky enough to be able to offer jobs too. The food is top quality and the service is way above the norm. I’ve been in the restaurant business for over 30 years and had over a dozen restaurants. All of them are still open and operating. We try to use the same recipe that has been successful for us through the years. Southern cooking is one of our specialties. Saturday morning breakfast will feature SOS and chicken and waffles. On another day, we’ll cook biscuits and gravy. We are trying to create different foods to give our customer base more of a choice.

When we were first hiring, we hired a few folks who lied on their applications. Once we did background checks we found out that these were not trustworthy people who had previous reputation issues. We wanted a drug-free workplace with honest, straightforward, hard-working people for a long-term relationship with our company. We were not looking for bounce-around types that you see at every new restaurant that opens.  ~Respectfully, Rob DeGennaro Buck Tooth Rooster

 

 

Winter hit Big Pine Key hard Sunday. Not to worry, Piners are a hardy breed, we will push on.  ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, down town Pine Key.

[FKAA] The drilling of the deep effluent injection well at the Cudjoe poop plant is reportedly stalled for months. The Settlement Agreement that allowed temporary use of the shallow wells for effluent disposal limited maximum flow to the plant to 420,000 gallons per day, but back in November they had already hit 296,000 gallons. Then FKAA sent out notices to connect to Big Pine which was expected to contribute 462,792 gallons on an annual average day according to the permit application, and assuming 24% of all metered water is used outdoors. The maximum day’s sewage flow would be much higher than the annual average, of course.

There is little doubt that terms of the Settlement Agreement will be violated, and perhaps already have been. Had the Inner Islands alone complied with the absurd County requirement to connect within 30 days of Notice to Connect, then the plant would already be well beyond its negotiated shallow well limits of disposal. The DEP has already blithely permitted for over 1,328,000 daily gallons of sewage (on annual average) to go to FKAA’s plant that was only designed to treat 940,000 gallons per day. Yet FKAA continues to claim they have adequate remaining capacity to add more, like the proposed Summerland housing project and No Name. Just like they attested adequate capacity on each of the.permit applications that exceeded the plant’s actual capacity. Can’t anybody at DEP or FKAA add up permits? Will Dennis Ward press charges for the falsification of documents?

It appears that neither FKAA, nor DEP care about water quality. It should be equally clear that FKAA administration only cares about revenue, just as it should be very clear how dishonorable they have proven themselves in their quest for revenue and desire to facilitate higher density development through supposed “availability of central sewer.”

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Good judgment comes from experience. And experience? Well, that comes from poor judgment.

 

I found a kiteboard Oceanside on island between Cooks Island and Long Beach Road. Email me with description if it is yours. epf@fuse.net

[Editor Sucks] Yes, when Ed is castigated for messing with reader’s posts, he responds, “What does it matter? No one knows who posts are from.” He is right, it doesn’t hurt my reputation, just his.

 

[Crooks] Love this new sewer system? Our water bill for the wife and I use to be about $40 a month. We hot a bill yesterday for over $200! That use to be five months’ of water. Yes, we watered the front lawn a few times because it was so dry last month, but this is crazy. I can not imagine the water bills for people who use a lot of water like the big Tiki on Ramrod.

[Death on US1] “Drugs or alcohol not suspected in crash.” No, just an impatient jerk who I hope gets charged to the maximum extent of the law because there’s no reason to kill people because you’re in some kind of hurry when, this time of year, you should leave a little early
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[“Amazon not easiest company to do business with”] Au contraire, Amazon does it like it should be done. There is no one easier to do business with. I return stuff all the time. Last week I returned a late delivery of $24 hardware because it took 3 days instead of 2 days. They said keep it, we’ll fully refund your account. I didn’t even have to talk to anyone, just logged into my account, clicked the item, selected reason for return from list, selected return option, (replacement, credit, or refund). They even have live chat and instant call back if you’d like to speak with someone. The instant call back is amazing. They are open 24/7/365, unlike the post office or UPS, and they have guaranteed 2-day delivery or your money back! Not only is it 2-day delivery–delivery is included.

When the post office misses a delivery date they say, “Sorry it didn’t get there like we said it would.” And that’s it. No refund or free stamps, etc, just a concerned look of understanding from the nice lady who works there.

 

 

 

Divorced mom’s rear window.

[“Health Fair”] Get misdiagnosed by a bunch of amateurs from school. I speak from experience, so does my wife. Health fairs are good for some things, but not others. Beware!
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[The Movies] In Afghanistan 2005, “This war’s like f**king a gorilla. You fuck until the gorilla wants to stop.”
[Public Land & Water] In 2002 the Navy deeded the Truman Waterfront land to the city, but soon after closed that public waterfront and harbor to the public. The City wants the harbor open to the public. They want what’s theirs so they’re going to sue the government. Good luck with that!
As you get older you’ve got to stay positive. For example, the other day I fell down the stairs. Instead of getting upset I just thought, “Wow, that’s the fastest I’ve moved in years.”
[FTR Supports Trump] By golly, I’m downright chagrined that my loyal fan could possibly think that I’ve abandoned Donald Trump, soon to be President of these United States.  I sure like the sound of that … President Donald J. Trump.  I like that one hell of a lot more than the only alternative that we were faced with in November.

Just for the record, I sure wish that Trump would change the tone of his tweets.  I wish he’d be more civil. But, I applaud his decision to communicate directly with tens of millions of Americans and the entire world.  He’s cut out the incredibly biased media.  It’s no wonder that the Left is so incredibly pissed. They are like scared little school kids, scared of the truth.  Great job President Elect Donald J. Trump.

My fan suggested that President Elect Donald J. Trump was “playing kissy-face with Putin.” That is simply foolish.  Truth be told, he only noted that Putin is smart.  The very obvious fact is that Putin is smart, one hell of a lot smarter that O or Hillary.

Certainly, we all recall O and H’s attempted reset of our relations with Russia.  We all remember how badly botched that was. As a result, Putin has been pissing on our shoes for 8 years.  Putin laughs at Obama.  He should. We’re pathetic in our dealings with Russia.  Think about where Russia has made Obama/Hillary/Kerry look like simpering fools–Ukraine, Poland, Syria, Israel. And never forget Obama/Medvedev and the open mike “… tell [Putin] that I’ll have more leeway after my election…” That was sent with a hug and a kiss.  Putin has so little regard for us that he apparently hacked the Democrat office emails.  He also tried to get into the Republican’s pants, but the Republicans were too smart and he failed.

We can’t know, but it sure looks like Trump hates to lose.  He will not lose to Putin.

While the Left is all a-twitter (pun intended) with President Elect Donald J. Trump’s words, most of us are being pleasantly surprised with the quality of his putative appointees. The menu of Trump appointees that I’ve seen to date could not be better.  His selections uniformly feature people with great executive experience.  Each has been a success in their respective fields.  I’ve not seen a one that is a political hack. Not a one of them needs a job.  Not a one of them needs to have their reputation burnished.  The public service that they will render will cost nearly everyone of them millions in lost income.

My fan is perfectly correct in her assessment that Trump is causing turmoil.  But it’s not Trump that is causing the turmoil. The turmoil is a result of the massive whipping that the Left has taken.  It is the Left that is apoplectic with hypocrisy and hysteria.  The Left has not had so little power in nearly a hundred years. That my Deer Friends is a very, very good thing.

And so, I offer my heartfelt thanks to my loyal fan for permitting me this opportunity to write of the great prospects of the soon-to-be President of these United States–Donald J. Trump.

BTW, I trust that my loyal fan will follow the demands made by the Left when Obama was elected.  I trust that she will recognize Donald J. Trump as her President and that she will do all in her power to make sure that his presidency succeeds.

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When do the really interesting things happen? Not when you’ve brushed your teeth and put on your pajamas and are cozy in bed. They happen when you are cold and uncomfortable and hungry and don’t have a roof over your head for the night. Always there has been an adventure just around the corner, and the world is still full of corners.

 

[“Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store”] Most people don’t know that Coconuts is the only real pool room in the Keys. A few places may have one table, but Coconuts has several.

Does Sloan ever fact check anything? If his girl, Kari, says she saw an obituary with her daughter’s overdose death in it, and he talks to the daughter, why did he not Immediately ask her for the link to that page and see it and post it himself? As for his friend, Todd German, I figured him far too smart to be taken by a pathological dreamer. Sloan, on other hand, immediately blames others for Photoshopping something he never even seen. Hopefully, Judy, the woman suing him, can get that entire blog taken down by the court. It would be the best thing Sloan ever did for the Keys. Can anybody name one positive thing that guy has ever done? Obituaries never include overdoses or suicide as cause of death. Dreamers make that kind of stuff up and bigger idiots believe it and blog it!
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[“Bucktooth Rooster’s refills”] Thank you for the comment. Bottomless coffee; yes, sodas we have one free refill. The cup is 22 ounces. Which would give the person 44 ounces of fluid. Even though the menu specifies that we do not charge for refills. Really, we never have to. We have had a customer sit there for hours drinking one Coca-Cola after another up the 15 refills! Although it sounds ridiculous to you, people actually do that. I would have to tell you everybody coming into the restaurant over the weekend seemed to be very happy, smiling and excited that the restaurant is there catering to our fellow neighbors and local clientele. We are serviung customers from Marathon to Key West which covers over 60 miles. Our recipes are quite different from the norm and we hope that people will enjoy them. There are eight different steak entrées on our menu ranging from spice encrusted ribeye to a plain Delmonico chargrilled steak. We try to cater to everyone. As you know we make the best corned beef Reuben you’ve ever had at the Buck Tooth Rooster. We hear this all day long from over 500 to 600 people a day. I certainly wish those people would write in.  ~Respectfully Rob DeGennaro

 

 

[Name That Fish] What kind of fish is this? It was only little.[

[Holy Homeless] The Vatican has distributed to some homeless thermal sleeping bags that protect down to minus 20C (minus 4F). Some Vatican vehicles, their doors unlocked, were left at night outside the Vatican City’s high walls, so homeless people could take turns going inside the cars to warm up. Several homeless sleep outside, under Vatican porticoes.
As rich as the Pope, er, the Vatican is, the Pope could furnish every homeless person in the world with a super sleeping bag and a car in which to live. At the very least, the Pope should leave the Vatican doors open to local homeless people, to sleep in warmth at night, and hang out in warmth during day.
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Sloan, I’m going to let you in on a super secret. The Russians did not hack the DNC I did it. It’s all my fault that Trump got elected. I single handily changed all those vote totals too. Hillary really carried every single electoral college vote, but I used my super abilities to derail her. Oh, and I kidnapped the Heineken guy and shot that Duke to start WW1 and was the 2nd shooter on the grassy knoll. That sniper rifle was heavy for a 6-month-old, but us South Florida babies are tough. I killed the Corvair too, it was not Ralph Nader. The K-Car–my fault too. The challenger explosion. Yes, me again. My absolute finest work Global warming, that’s me too. There you go, Sloan, more ammo to fabricate more BS for months and months for you. Tell me again why you’re not in independence cay, FKOC or Catholic Charities? Wait, could it be that your are an ungrateful, dangerous, disruptive influence everywhere you go?
[Ice Fishing in the Keys] Piners taking a break & catching dinner. It’s cold on Big Pine Key with 30 knot winds & 9 to 12 foot seas! Small craft advisory in effect.
Monday and Monday night: northeast to east winds near 25 knots. Seas 8 to 11 feet. isolated showers.
Tuesday: east winds 20 to 25 knots. seas 7 to 10 feet. Isolated showers. Burrr.
Blessings to each and everyone of you in your New Year. Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, down town Pine Key.
If a woman says, “First of all …” during an argument–run away; because she has prepared research, data, charts and will destroy you.
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[Expert] I think that Captain John of the FUNYET is the foremost expert on Pine Channel? After all, he’s lived and worked on it for over a million years?

 

[The Meaning of Meow] Researchers found that cats understand humans, not just by voice tone but also by identifying certain words including their names, the owner’s name, various commands you’ve used, and many other stunning eavesdropping techniques that you had no idea about. Link

[“Post Office inefficiency”] I just want to say that the employees at our BPK Post Office are the most competent, caring, and efficient post office employees I have ever experienced. They offer helpful suggestions about various shipping options to get a better rate and are always friendly and welcoming. I’ve lived in many areas of the USA and by far the BPK post office staff are the best!
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Hair Styles by Nancy Big Pine Key 954-668-7634 is now listed in the Business directory. Business Directory > Beauty Salon
[“Pug product of evolution”] Not quite, these weird looking dogs are a product of selective breeding. It seems some people want dogs to look more and more like ugly humans with bug eyes and flat faces. I don’t know why people would want an ugly dog, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You should see what gets picked up in the bars around here late at night if you want to see some dogs.
[Traffic] The only way to fix the light on Big Pine is to cut the TDC budget and stop inviting more people down here. We don’t need to advertise on PBS or the local Miami channels. Has anyone but me noticed our roadsides are cleaner since school started?

 

Some people create their own storms; then get mad when it rains.

Next to air, food is one of my most favorite things I absolutely need.
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[Sewers] The drilling of the deep effluent injection well at the Cudjoe poop plant is reportedly stalled for months.

The Settlement Agreement that allowed temporary use of the shallow wells for effluent disposal limited maximum flow to the plant to 420,000 gallons per day, but back in November they had already hit 296,000 gallons.

Then FKAA sent out notices to connect to Big Pine which was expected to contribute 462,792 gallons on an annual average day according to the permit application, and assuming 24% of all metered water is used outdoors. The maximum day’s sewage flow would be much higher than the annual average, of course.

There is little doubt that terms of the Settlement Agreement will be violated, and perhaps already have been. Had the Inner Islands alone complied with the absurd County requirement to connect within 30 days of Notice to Connect, then the plant would already be well beyond its negotiated shallow well limits of disposal.

The DEP has already blithely permitted for over 1,328,000 daily gallons of sewage (on annual average) to go to FKAA’s plant that was only designed to treat 940,000 gallons per day. Yet FKAA continues to claim they have adequate remaining capacity to add more, like the proposed Summerland housing project and No Name.  Just like they attested adequate capacity on each of the.permit applications that exceeded the plant’s actual capacity. Can’t anybody at DEP or FKAA add up permits? Will Dennis Ward press charges for the falsification of documents?

It should be clear that neither FKAA, nor DEP cares at all about water quality. It should be equally clear that FKAA administration only cares about revenue, just as it should be very clear how dishonorable they have proven themselves in their quest for revenue and desire to facilitate higher density development through supposed “availability of central sewer.

The prison population of the USA is the largest on the planet. It is larger than the combined populations of Malta, Brunei, The Bahamas, Belize, Iceland, and The Maldives. Big Brother is watching and has been for a long, long time. That’s an interesting fact to consider on how restrictive the good ol’ USA is.

[Nit Picking Post] To the idiot that corrected me about a Po Box having 5, not 6 digits, were you born stupid? or is it the aging process? There is always someone as stupid as you that will miss the entire point of a post because of a typographical error.

I’m not the person putting checks in someone else’s box, Dumbo.  How would you like it if your checks were sent to everyone in BPK but the one they are addressed to? This is my living I’m concerned with! Just about the third time I tell my customer I did not receive their check, they think I’m incompetent and fire me and I lose a lot of money. Can you understand that? Actually, the Post Office is stealing from me because of their incompetence.

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Reading Sloan on the CT and at good morning Key west is bizarre? He says homeless women being hit on and harassed, yet he says he has been told by that girl Kari to leave her alone and quit messing up her life? Then he writes she is his wife? He lied to court system saying she is his wife and continues bothering her? It sounds like he is hitting on, and harassing, a homeless female? I saw her screaming at him by KW Winn Dixie right before he left attempting to be a kept man in Alabama. It did not seem to me she wanted anything to do with him? Maybe he is a bit dangerous to the opposite sex especially vulnerable homeless women?

 

 

 

Definitive beard guide for those in need.

With favoring winds, o’er sunlit seas,
We sailed for the Hesperides,
The land where golden apples grow;
But that, ah! that was long ago.
How far, since then, the ocean streams
Have swept us from that land of dreams,
That land of fiction and of truth,
The lost Atlantis of our youth!
Whither, ah, whither? Are not these
The tempest-haunted Orcades,
Where sea-gulls scream, and breakers roar,
And wreck and sea-weed line the shore?
Ultima Thule! Utmost Isle!
Here in thy harbors for a while
We lower our sails; a while we rest
From the unending, endless quest.

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service have spent more than $1 million a month trying to eradicate the screwworms in the Keys and protect Key deer since they were first confirmed on Big Pine Key in October. Friday screwworms were found in a stray dog in Homestead! Roughly 130 Key deer have died or been euthanized since the outbreak started.
Westin Hotel in Key West to become the Margarativille Hotel the Citizen reports. Good grief!
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[Smart vs Stupid] Some people change their ways when they see the light; others when they feel the heat.
[Mass Murder at Airport] If I was working as a check-in agent for a major airline and someone flying all the way from Alaska to Florida had only one piece of luggage and it was a gun, no clothes or personal items, I would have been suspicious enough to notify authorities at the destination to greet the passenger, just in case. Perhaps some training or common sense could have avoided a tragedy.
[Prostitute Spam] Travel a lot? No time to date girls locally? Find Your Russian Princess online today! Thousands of single beautiful Russian ladies are looking for a guy like You! (…please send all your personal information to Russia).
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[Key West Orchid Society] KWOS President Jay Pfahl will continue his talk on Columbian, Brazilian and other South American orchids Sunday, Jan. 15, 1 pm at W. Martello Gardens, Higgs Beach, KW. His travels and insight of orchids in the wild give an appreciation of the places and challenges he thrives on to bring us more understanding of these great plants. All are welcome. For more info: Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[Antarctic Research Facility] T3 syndrome, a mental fugue state brought on by the lack of sunshine and the repetitive environment. Four decades of human behavior studies concluded that it would be foolish to spend millions on a scientific research facility only to fail because the crew had cabin fever.

Polar T3 syndrome is a condition found in polar explorers, caused by a reduction in levels of the thyroid hormone T3. Its effects include forgetfulness, cognitive impairment and mood disturbances. It can exhibit itself in a fugue state known as the Antarctic stare.

[2d Amendment Results] Battlefield medical techniques needed for civilian shootings. An eye surgeon and former Navy SEAL who helped transform battlefield medicine is on the front line of a national push to save the lives of civilians targeted in mass shootings and terror attacks. Link
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