Tuesday, February 3, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

manhole finger beckening[Sewer Hook-up] I live and own my home in BPK and think the sewer assessment and connection costs are reasonable. In the late 1990’s at my last house where I lived in the frozen north I had to connect to public sewers and paid a connection fee of $27,500 and around $14,000 for the hookup! I had to get several permits including a street opening permit and had to replace both curb and sidewalk. I did not have the option of saving my tank for a utility cistern. I’m thrilled to have a $4,500 connection fee and be able to run the connection myself or pay as little as another $4,500 for a contractor to do it. You should take your own thoughts as advice and sell out and move somewhere else, maybe someplace that already has public sewer.
Coconuts-sign-ad-750w
Your password must contain at least 8 letters, a capital, a plot, a protagonist with good character development, a twist and a happy ending.”
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gambling wheel win[Gambling] 50/50 raffles are illegal in the State of Florida unless the guidelines set by the State are followed. The organization holding the drawing must be registered with the Florida Department of State as a not-for-profit entity. Raffle tickets must not be sold, there must be a donation requested for the tickets. Holding a 50/50 raffle in any location that is licensed by the Florida Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco subjects the license establishment to a fine or suspension or revocation of their license. It’s not wise to advertise 50/50 raffles as that might catch the attention of the State alcoholic beverage agents and have them show up at your event just to check on your illegal gambling operation. You have been warned.
[Man falls off cruise ship] “We don’t know the circumstance of how the man fell overboard,” Bermont said. “He was not on the vessel once it moored in Key West.” Tremblay fell from the 11th floor of the cruise ship, about 110 feet. It was known that he was not a good swimmer.
Springers12.9.14
I just learned how to text. It dominates my life until I turn the sound off after normal hours. What an amazing technology. It’s perfect, it really is.
g-neugent11.3.14
The Lower Keys Chamber invites all members to bring a picnic lunch and join Commissioner Neugent this Friday, Feb. 6 at noon on the Chamber grounds – MM 31.  This is an informal gathering to bring us all up-to-speed on what’s going on with the County.
I judged Robert Frost poetry slams at Sippin’ Internet Cafe before. I personally don’t like poetry slams, because more than the poems themselves are judged, and often the best performers, not the best poems, win. I tended to shade my scores toward the best poems, which sometimes made the overall scoring a little more interesting.

One especially talented young poet was there one time with his mother, and I gave him my top score, for his poetry, not for his performance. He and his mother had talked during intermissions about the poetry workshops he was attending and getting help with his poems, and poetry gurus he was studying under, and afterward I took him and his mother aside and told them that was not the way to do it; he just ought to write whatever poetry came to him, and if no poetry was coming to him, he ought to do something else.

Forget the rules of learning how to learn and write poetry, I told him; let it write you. That’s what “Dead Poet’s Society” was about, wasn’t it? For further example, I said, Who invented the rule that poetry must rhyme, have pentameter, be cast into verse, be politically correct or stay on the safe side of the fence? Yes, please tell me who invented that stupid fucking rule? Shorley it warn’t de maka ob de furst ston – udderwise der’d be no stons to brake all dem slavin’ ruls!

johnsons-7.9.14
[Citizen of the Day Says] There is no place on earth like the Keys, and I am very grateful to be a part of it.
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empty leash  woman[Dog Park] I hate whiners, I hate to whine, but I’m going to. We love dogs, we love our dog, we love your dog and one reason we love living here is that it’s such a dog-friendly place. We were used to living in the country at one time, we didn’t worry about picking up our dog poop and we didn’t worry about having our really well mannered dog on a leash. It was nice. When we moved to the Keys, it was hard for our dog to make the switch but now she does fine on a leash, and we pick up her poop. I’ll get to the whining.

We walk our dog at the Big Pine Park pretty often. For some reason, there are people that walk their dogs there that feel like they’re exempt from having to walk their dog on a leash. My dog would like to be off leash too but we don’t do it because: A. It’s a rule (read the sign) and B. It can be really dangerous when a friendly dog off the leash becomes overly friendly with an aggressive dog or one who is off its leash. Somehow though, people think they’re special or their dog is special. Whatever. That’s what dog parks are for. Go to the dog park behind Watson Field, behind the baseball diamond, and your dog can be off the leash all it wants. Oh, and pick up your dog’s poop–really

[“My apartment has mold”] Mold requires water/moisture and a organic material, obviously dusty filters and the moisture AC’s make or in the anyplace room is a excellent combination. Your AC may not be draining properly, so extra water is evaporating back into the home creating more humidity. With mold, all organic substances in the home needs to be checked, even in enclosed containers or in ducts as it creates spores and those spores travel around to other organic surfaces. Take any items outside to clean as even dead spores are harmful. To reduce mold requires a dehumidifier running to dry out the interior air so it’s not so humid, any places where water is coming into contact with organic material eliminated (leaks and shower areas). Next all organic substances need to either be wiped (non-porous) with bleach if it can handle it, or wiped/soaked (porous only) with a anti-fungicide (not yard or garden stuff) like Terminator from Key West Chemical, then it might require a couple of treatments for heavy/thick items like leather belts or wood chopping blocks. You also need to run a HEPA air filter and change your AC filter more often, dry out the house with outside air, like once or twice a month. May need to have the ducts cleaned also, contact a HVAC tech service if this all too much for you.
hareens 12.2.14
ferryboat-k.w.-1934This is a photo of the ferry that worked the Keys. Did the old ferry go from No Name Key to Grassy Key? No. It docked at 11 Street (bayside), Marathon, also know as Hog Key, also know as Pig Alley, then on to Grassy Key. It went to Lower Matecumbe Key. Here’s a little info.
Dade County was to build 11 miles of road from Florida City to Little Card Point, a point of land between Card and Barnes Sound. Monroe County was to build a drawbridge and connect the Dade road to the existing North Key Largo road. Before it could be completed, the roadway and bridge were severely damaged by the hurricane of 1926. It was decided to raise the bridge height from five to nine feet. Tidewater Construction Company was the original bridge contractor, but S. J. Groves Co. did the final modification and repair. Awaiting for its completion, in March of 1927 a barge-type ferry towed by a powerboat transported cars from Florida City to the east end of the Card Sound bridge. This was known as the Key Largo Ferry and the point was known as Pelican Harbor. Meanwhile, Jenner Construction made the road serviceable as far as Islamorada. Another feat was using the car ferry to cross to the mainland, J. Otto Kirchheiner, chairman of the Monroe County commissioners, was the first to drive a car from Key West to the mainland on July 18, 1927.
By 1928, the rebuilt and higher off the water 2,800-foot wooden drawbridge across Card Sound was completed. The additional road and bridges were completed to Lower Matecumbe Key. The Upper Keys were connected to the Florida mainland. In the meanwhile, Key West had built a road as far as No Name Key. Construction of a ferryboat pier began at Lower Matecumbe and No Name Key.To complete the circuit to Key West, on January 16, 1928, three ferryboats at a cost of $850,000 from the Gibb’s Shipyard of Jacksonville were put into operation between Lower Matecumbe Key and No Name Key. One ferry would go south and one ferry would be returning north. The third was kept in reserve or in maintenance. However, one ferry burned eight months later. Officially for the public the OSH opened January 25, 1928.This was a 41-mile ferry trip. Each ferry could take 20 cars and the trip took about four hours. The toll was $3.50 for vehicles under 14 feet up to $6.50 for vehicles over 16 feet, driver included. Passengers were charged $1.00 each. When completed from Florida City to Key West, it was designated State Road 4A. This is now known as Monroe County Road 905. A little over two years later in 1931, a 13 1/2-mile road was completed across the Vacas Keys with ferry terminals on Grassy and Hog Keys. This reduced the ferry trip to two 14-mile water gaps and provided Marathon with automobile service from the other Keys. In reality, it seems that they only made a real effort to serve Marathon in the winter months.
This original highway was designated as State Road 4A just as the road from Miami to Homestead was. The designation of U.S. 1 did not come until federal funds were used to improve the vehicle access for the Navy to Key West during WW II. The SR-4A route was shortened by about 14 miles by using the already acquired railroad right-of-way. This new route became highway U.S. 1. To see a 1933 road map click here. CLICK
The total road cost was now close to $4,000,000. This accounted for a complete highway system and a lot of improvements in Key West. During this time, trains also provided service through the Keys. The day-to-day needs of the Upper Keys were served better by delivery trucks, buses, etc. that would make intermediate stops in-between the train depots. Small cottages for fishing, weekends, or just to get away from the city started to appear. Charter fishing began to appear. Farmers slowly abandoned their fields.

Tavernier resident Captain Cliff Carpenter remembers the old highway as a bumpy rock road when he first drove his new, green 1928 Chevrolet coupe down from Miami. Later, Captain Cliff remembers the Florida Motor Lines bus and the Overseas Freight Line vehicles passing back and forth where the northbound traffic lane of U.S. 1 is now. The railroad was where the southbound lane is located. Full Menu >  Big Pine Museum

mold3
[Mold] The lady with the mold in her air conditioner – get a new air conditioner and then from there on clean the filter every month.
[“Sombrero Beach Road construction“] It’s coming, no matter what people that live by the beach want or think. It’s about money and nothing else. You can also look forward to the low life’s, years of construction, traffic, noise, dust etc. You have had it very good for long enough. Now it’s time for you to put up with the same crap we have for too long. Enjoy your new in-dust industrial section.
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[“Apple VS. Microsoft”] I’ve had to deal with both over the years and it’s obvious why Apple outsells Microsoft. Microsoft sucks. A TV guy was talking about the atmosphere at Apple being ‘electric” and when he went to Microsoft is was “dreary”.
vista3How to make Windows 7 task bar like the Vista task bar. This is great! Read this link and do exactly as said to get the old task bar back. Remember you can right click to send a folder or program to the desktop as a shortcut. Then you can drag them onto the new task bar. This works much better than the W7 version. Link
[Situations Wanted] Moody bitch seeks nice guy for love-hate relationship.
painted-bunting-palm
[“Painted Buntings”] They’re down here every year, at least in Marathon where we live. We’ve always had them except for the first couple of years after Wilma. They seemed to stay away right after the storm but came back soon after. They are stunningly beautiful.
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groundhog stupid
The shadowy rodent says 6 more weeks of winter.
Turn your speakers on or wear your headset. Wow! Hallelujah — Celtic Thunder.
Nira-Tocco-6.14
There is a vulture stalking all of us on this planet. We will exploit until the last vestige , shred of soul , of this earth is demolished. It will be a naked wasteland? hit a certain point and ecological collapse is imminent.
Herman Melville, at the end of Moby Dick, said the race of man is doomed.
clown puke toilet[Food Tour] Which companies never give factory tours and why? SPAM Inc. Philadelphia Scrapple Inc. Most all sausage and hamburg companies and animal foods makers. Oscar Mayer does, but people never go again.
In Search of sturdy composter, free is preferred (or low price). Critter resistant. Thank U. KC Classified Ads > Wanted
buddy-holly-poster
Buddy Holly
True Love Ways
RadioShack is in talks to sell half its stores to Sprint and shutter the rest. This likely will affect our locally owned RS because of it’s parent company that owns the name and buys in bulk. So either our local store closes, becomes a Sprint Store or changes it’s name and remains what it is, buying supplies directly from wholesalers. Any wagers which one it will be? I’m for the last option because they managed to hang on all this time. Link
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To Mr FTR. Get well soon. We miss your column.
theoretical-physics-miracleHave the 9/11 conspiracy theorists every heard of theoretical physics? It’s a bunch of numbers, letters, dashes, dots and predictive models that can prove, among other things, that an elephant can hang over a cliff with its tail tied to a daisy. The theory is so-called proof. Try it sometime. Get back to those of us on planet earth with your results. Can you imagine the dozens of people it would take to pull off 9/11 as a false flag event? And not one of them ever cracked? No tell-all book or deathbed confession. Out of Washington? Please. In that town, when the choice is conspiracy or incompetence–always choose incompetence.
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sunglasses monkey wink
Found. Sunglasses
with case. Found at the “Tubes” on Dorn Road. They appear to be prescription. Describe to retrieve. email Classified Ads > Lost and Found
I am fed up with Comcast. Is the Dish guy still around? I used to see an ad on here.
fanci10-16-14
[“Sombrero Golf Club”] L.E. Shaffer alluded to stopping the re-development. I ask, stop it on what grounds? What, that you just don’t like it and want to keep the tired old private club?
mosquito net hatThe F.K.M.C.D. pilots have amazing skills. I don’t know how many times I flew along. I lost count. I don’t live in the Keys anymore, but if I did I would work there again. There are some really hard-working, good people there. “Hi!” to anyone there reading this.

It was difficult work and sometimes the mosquitoes were awful. We had to wear nets so we wouldn’t aspirate ae. taeniorhynchus, aka the Black Saltmarsh Mosquito. They still chewed up our hands and wherever the nets touched us. I don’t know how people, key deer, or raccoons could bear it before there was any control.

Could you repost the video that was supposed to link to the World War II cemetery and the Muslims being disrespectful? I am quite curious about this.
tastes of italyIt’s Italian Tuesday at Springer’s Bar and Grill. Today’s special is Chicken and Mushroom Alfredo. It’s sure to fill the belly and warm your heart. So come on in for a plateful of Italian loving – and don’t forget the vino! Molto delizioso!
Wednesday special: country fried steak
Thursday special: chicken Parmesan on a Kaiser
Friday special: beer batter fish and chips or ramrod mahi mahi.
Happy Hour 2-6 daily with great drink specials and happy hour menu.
There’s always something special at Springer’s.
[Lazyboy recliner fix for right arm surgery] Could this be the always clever FTR? Video
Radio-Shack10.31.14
[Payoff] The City of Key West paid $900.000,00 to the Elmer’s family for the wrongful death of Charles by KWPD Police. And sitting in the room of this payoff is the Chief of Police Donny Lee who caused this payoff by poor management of his employees. I wish I was the City Manager at that time because I would have fired the chief two seconds after handing the check over. I don’t get it.
fear-science3
[“FTR’s Ordeal”] Oh my gosh, what an experience. I have also had lifesaving experiences here in the Keys at Fisherman’s Hospital and the hospital in Key West. I have found both hospitals very efficient.
superblues3[Song of the day] “Superblues” by Little Hurricane. A great performance by a talented duo, one of whom is about the cutest drummer I’ve ever seen. Video
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flying saucer beams rocking[“No coincidence conspiracy theorists have also seen UFOs] Correct. The people who cannot accept evidence that is right in front of them will probably never see a UFO. I once headed down to the bar after work with a buddy, and as we were driving past cow pastures, we spotted a bright red light jumping around, maybe 1,000 feet away. We stopped and watched it for awhile. It was still daylight. When the light blinked off, there was nothing there to have a light attached- no plane, chopper, balloon, nothing. A teenager came cruising along on his bike. We stopped him and said, “You see that light above the field jumping around?” “Yeah”, he says. “What is it?” says I. “It’s a plane”, says he. “You don’t see a plane, do you? How come it jumps around like a plane couldn’t?” He said, “No, I don’t see anything, but it must be a plane. It’s got a flashing light and it’s in the air.” I predict this kid will never see a UFO and will crap on truthers, aka “conspiracy theorists”. A UFO is just that – flying and unidentified. Nobody declared them from Pleides or Middle earth. I have seen a flying triangle in daylight about 60 feet away that just hovered silently letting me get a damned good long look before I finally freaked out, let out the clutch and drove slowly away. And no, my butt wasn’t sore afterward, but after seeing this thing hovering like a fish in water with no sound, no wind, no commotion, no visible means of propulsion, no nothing but two corners flashing brightly with no evidence of a light fixture and realizing it could be sitting right behind me at any time and I would not be aware of its approach, left me spooked for a long while. No I was not high or drinking, and no way was this current military technology. You don’t have to believe it. Stay in deep denial about this and everything else you were not taught in school if you like.. If you find 2 hours to spend very productively, try opening your mind. This movie might open your eyes to see more than is “acceptable” to see. It starts with a black screen and a guy talking with an accent, but hang in their for a bit. Video
melted-computer[Melt Down] Take any computer and stick it in the over at 400º and what is left is a few spoonfuls of melted plastic, a gold tooth filling and some copper. 20 to 1 it does not cost more then 1% of the retail price to manufacture a computer or any electronic device.
Mr. FTR, You’ve had quite a time of it. Dr. Smith is the best and you were lucky to have him on your case. Wishing you and Mrs. FTR all the best. Keep us posted and recover! You are missed.
Isaksen11.5.14
Haiku  ~Issa
In this world
even butterflies
must earn their keep.
orca whale whirlygig
[“Painted Buntings rare in the Keys”] Global warming is changing the migratory patterns of many land animals, birds, and some types of sea life.  Whales from the North Atlantic have been seen off Africa for the first time.
[RadioShack] Amazon and Sprint are two of the corporations interested in purchasing some of RadioShack’s assets when they file bankruptcy.
donuts3
“Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?”
[“9/11 Conspiracy”] Geez, these conspiracy theorists are exhausting with their fabricated justifications and tenuous logic. That’s a sad state of affairs. I’ve only met a couple of folks like that and they live a very sad life. It’s also a disrespect to the families and friends that lost loved ones.
I have a suggestion. Find something useful and pro-active to do with your life. You’ll be much happier and so will everyone who talks to you.
BP-Flea-Market10.10.14
[Obama Screen Saver] Use your mouse if he gets stuck. Game
eminem23
Which one is Eminem?
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psycho shower drain
To anyone paying the least bit of attention that the human race is circling the drain I am always grateful for the folks who come on here suggesting I don’t take things too seriously.
 [Proof the ISS is a Hoax]  The International Space Station does not exist! Video (It’s on the internet, it must be real)
manley-deboer-1.9.15
FTR – You’re lucky to be alive!
[Sewers] We all know that the system and design of our impending sewer system is literally going to blow up in our faces. Only a matter of time. Why not bring a lawsuit against the people that are in charge? Like for instance, Nuegent, and anyone that is against the welfare of our islands. I would think if I were in charge the job wouldn’t be worth the lawsuit or maybe I would listen to what the people of the community (the ones paying the bill) wanted instead of letting the payoffs, ego, control freak problems, or whatever the reason, rule the outcome. Maybe they would quit and we could get people that cared. I personally like my septic tank and think if they wanted to punish us then they should have just made us all upgrade our existing systems. What they are doing is wrong. If it wasn’t such a flawed system I might feel differently. So any reason we can start a list and sue the ones in charge on a personal level?  ~ jhadlian@aol.com
bike3
Exercise bike.
 Excellent condition.  Paid $330, selling for $100 firm. Location: Marathon. Email Classified Ads > Miscellaneous
[Public Meeting] NOAA’s Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary will hold a public meeting of the Sanctuary Advisory Council in Islamorada, Fla., on Tuesday, February 17, 2014. The meeting will focus on artificial habitats, an issue the Advisory Council has prioritized. They have considered forming a working group to develop recommendations to the sanctuary as part of its current management plan and regulatory review.

The meeting will open at 9:00 a.m. with remarks by Office of National Marine Sanctuaries Director Daniel J. Basta. Representatives of FKNMS, the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, Florida Department of Environmental Protection, and U.S. Environmental Protection Agency will present on their agencies’ protocols and policies related to artificial habitats. They will also clarify formal uses of the term, which members of the council have associated with a broad range of structures including scuttled ships, reef balls, and coral nurseries, among other items.

City of Marathon Planning Director George Garrett will share his experience as an artificial habitat permit holder, followed by a panel discussion that will allow the Advisory Council to consider any potential recommendations for the sanctuary. Public comment will be solicited before the Advisory Council takes any actions. Public comment for items not on the agenda will be taken at 3:30 p.m., followed by general reports from state and federal agencies on recent activities. Events

bill-2.3.15
[Saudi preacher who ‘raped and tortured’ his five -year-old daughter to death is released after paying ‘blood money] Why the U.S. is in the Middle East attempting to modernize Islam? Warning, shocking story. Link
kick23[Kicking A Man When He’s Down] I never thought of sharing my ills on the CT. I am not a public hero like FTR on the CT. I am told by FTR often that I’m a “lefty” (translated, stupid). But, FTR is so important to himself, aka a narcissist, I thought I would share my ills. I have contacted my doctors and I will be putting together videos of my colonoscopy video, gamma knife surgery and vasectomy videos recently for your enjoyment. Stay tuned.
Most of us old farts have the sensibly that the world need not hear our latest problems.
FTR, you have a sick mind. You have the right to your opinion, but your grandiosity of yourself proves you are one sick puppy.
FTR should just shut his mouth about his health and instead puke out his crap. It is probably Medicare that is keeping him alive. Damn socialist polices.
politics-zone-750w
BEST QUOTE OF THE DAY
Don’t ask a question unless you can stand the answer.

Oliver North was asked why he thought Obama, Biden,

Kerry or Holder didn’t attend the unity rally in Paris .

He said, “because it was for world leaders.”

“Today I was killed by a drunk driver pushing a disabled driver off the road”.

Today you got caught lying again and playing the emotions and pity card.

Let me guess you’re a Republican ?

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Kansas’ financial troubles were created by two consecutive terms and nearly a decade of democratic dominance. Sam Brownback a Republican was elected in 2011 after Democrats could no longer stomach voting for a democrat. The rank corruption and staggering incompetence combined with the idealogical fanaticism of hard left Kathlene Sebelius and her replacement Mark Parkinson will take years to clean up if not decades. Like the deep blue states of Wisconsin and lousiana even hardend cult leftist voters want a state run compently and turn again and again to republicans to come in and clean up. Mind you the corrupt fanaticism and idealogical zealotry of Obama will take generations to fix. In the mean time, just like Kansas innocent people will suffer needlessly
I don’t mean to upset anyone by saying this, but I seem to remember certain right wing Republican politicians claiming “deficits don’t matter” when that idea suited their agenda.
from the right
right-wing-cooked
FTR is away getting a new Right wing. He’ll return as soon as he’s well. Get well soon FTR!