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The Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition
 Somebody posted about the great view off Cudjoe’s trash mountain and how it was intended to be a public park. At an elevation of almost 50 feet, the trash pile is about the highest “land” in the Keys. Attached is a view of the back country from the mountain that you would probably never see. This view is looking just west of the blimp. Every time I see the police cars all packing the parking areas intended for bridge fishing in preparation for a possible hurricane, I wonder why they are not parking on the garbage piles in Stock Island and Cudjoe instead and free up some space where the citizenry could save their vehicles on high ground like they used to do. |
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| [Sea grape problem”] Kim Gabel does not understand how the Coconut Telegraph works. In 2 sentences, she could have informed us why the sea grape trees are sick & dying, rather than 2 paragraphs telling us to contact Monroe Co Extension office. |
 [Corruption] We now know, after reviewing all the information we received via The Freedom of Information Act, that Monroe County has, in fact, paid $1,905,068 for the installation of a wastewater collection system and a water reclamation system on Shark Key, a private community, and has also funded, through Interlocal Agreements with the FKAA, other private communities. FKAANegotiatiosUpdate.cwk |
| I cut my $80 cable and bought Netflix for $8 and watch a movie or series at night without commercials. I get my news on the web. I don’t watch TV in the daytime any more and now get a lot more done too! |
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| I am reminded that the heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing. In my long bizarre wending journey, I learned the subconscious, or the soul, often uses the same words, pauses, and silences to say something entirely different from that the mind thinks it is saying. Hemingway indeed did love fishing, and hunting, and drinking, and talking with people he liked, and toying with people he didn’t like. During a novels course my senior year at Vanderbilt, the professor said the way to tell who’s going to end up being the bad guy in Hemingway’s novels is the guy who does not drink. The professor had his own take on the symbolism in The Old Man and the Sea, which I fed back to him verbatim on the final, and aced it and the course, and was astounded by that. You may see the symbolism in the last novel Hemingway would complete. Bottom line, it was his subconscious suicide note. |
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| The poster implies that ISIS is baiting the U.S. to go to war with them by beheading some of its citizens. That is perhaps as good a theory as a few others being floated. One can perhaps ascribe to your implication to do nothing; that they are just joshing when they say they will see us in New York. Are you of the belief that if we entirely vacate the Middle East things there will return to normalcy (what ever that word stands for in that region)? I am asking this question in an attempt to ascertain where you are coming from regarding this conundrum. Perhaps you are right on the money. I would appreciate a thoughtful reply instead of benign critique. |
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| [“Pedal Pub”] We do have one of the pedal trolleys. It was in the parade for Sir Peter Andersen last month. While it wasn’t a pedal pub, I did notice that everyone had refreshments. |
 [Medicare and Hospital Trust] After reading my Medicare bill and seeing a charge of $750+ for a leg x-ray I never had, I called the hospital to get a copy of the x-ray and the report. The x-ray had my name and number on it which was correct, but the image was of a female leg — I am a male. Goes to show how dangerous medical records can be. What if that was a chest x-ray of someone with TB or cancer or a bad heart and my doctor insisted I have an operation? Scary huh? |
| [“I no longer participate in the democratic process”] You do take time to bitch. So if you could just let that go it would complete your do nothing policy. |
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| If the TV news spin doctors are going to keep on yakking about those online hacked celebrity nude pics, then I think it would only be fair if they showed them to us instead of only teasing us. They probably already got a look at them. What are we, chopped liver? |
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 [Extension Service] That long sales pitch from the Extension Service yesterday leads me to believe that the lady didn’t know what she was talking about or she would have told us the solution to the sea grapes dying. Don’t waste our time, we’re very busy writing about parking lots and stuff. |
| [Small town getting free armored weapons] “Small town police need military weaponry. You’d be shocked at how much easier it is to remove a cat from a tree with a tomahawk missile.” ~Stephen Colbert |
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| [“I no longer participate in the democratic process”] If so, you lose your right to complain. Just stay in your trailer and smoke cigarettes. |
 [Physics] If you are bored because it is too windy to fish and want to learn something about physics, take a look at the Feynman lectures. Richard Feynman was a physics genius who could take complex topics and explain them to laymen. The entire package used to cost over $400 but Caltech has just released it for free. Caution! Even though Feynman explains it well, a lot of it may be over your head. Link |
| The best cosmetic surgery guide sheet. You too can look like Joan Rivers. Link |
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| E-mail hacked? Here’s how to recover. Link |
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 [The Labyrinth of Crete: The Myth Of The Minotaur] Zeus, in the form of a bull, brought Europe from the Phoenician seashore to Gortys in Crete where he made love with her under a plane tree. From their union three sons were born triplets. Next, Zeus arranged the marriage of Europe to the Cretan King Asterion, who appointed Europe’s and Zeus’ sons as his successors. Link |
| [“Florida Keys organic raw honey”] The link you gave us was bad. I want to buy your product, how about the info to do so? (Ed: I fixed it.) |
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| I’m pretty sure that buttonwood is a threatened or endangered species of tree in Monroe County. As such, it is illegal to cut them without getting proper permits, much less to exploit them commercially. The person advertising his or her telephone number, with pictures of the cut trees, might want to check with the County before a Code Enforcement officer knocks on the door. |
 [Sea Grapes] The lady from the Extension Office could have easily told us why the sea grapes are dying instead of writing a long tome about her office. Typical bureaucrat who misses the point of why they are there–to help, not to make us jump through hoops. |
| The more old bridges that fall into the ocean the better — the more artificial reefs we’ll have and you know right where they are. |
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| Bad Vibes: for the person complaining about complainers on the CT. The irony! |
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 Deer Ed, have you considered creating a conspiracy theory section of the CT like the Politics section? There’s so much good information being shared (Wetstock, Sea Grapes, jokes, vacation photos, fishing updates, tidbits) that are great to read. Then there are all these conspiracy theory posts from the partially informed/personal opinions that are just as useless (FKAA sewers, Charles Eimer, WD parking lot, NRA bigots, etc). Maybe the latter posts can be put in a section so that those of us with lives can just skip those posts? I’m not quite sure where the Jersey chick slams would fit though. |
| Russia seems to be doing what the Germans did at the start of World War II. The Russians first took the Crimea now they are taking Ukraine. And we say, “Oh, too bad.” instead of starting World War III. |
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| [Iraq] 10 trillion dollars, 20 years, 5000 dead serviceman,100k dead civilians. Here we go again! |
 [Breast Exams] Keys AHEC offers free clinical breast exams by appointment. Please contact Megan O’Neill, RN at Full Menu > Ongoing Events |
| [Fat Girls] I’m fascinated by the frequent posts regarding the notion that Jersey girls are universally obese. Please check the Center for disease control for up to date stats on obesity. Florida has a higher rate of obesity than New Jersey. |
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| [Cyborgs are coming!] ‘Brain’ in a dish acts as autopilot, living computer. A University of Florida scientist has grown a living “brain” that can fly a simulated plane, giving scientists a novel way to observe how brain cells function as a network. The “brain” — a collection of 25,000 living neurons, or nerve cells, taken from a rat’s brain and cultured inside a glass dish — gives scientists a unique real-time window into the brain at the cellular level. Link |
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 [“First Pooper”] Connecting to the sewer now would be just plain stupid. It is not finished. What are you thinking? What kind of thing is that to post? Please explain. This Coconut Telegraph confuses me. Why would someone post that? |
| Speaking of fat Jersey girls, whatever happened to Snookie, the short lived reality TV bimbo? |
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| Why is it that the Sanctuary Advisory Council is so quick to dictate what happens in the Keys waters in connection to the marine life, but doesn’t give a rat’s ass (dolphin’s ass, octopus’s ass, etc) when it comes to the hazards to boaters of the old 7 Mile Bridge falling? |
 [Comprachicos] is a compound Spanish neologism meaning “child-buyers.” It refers to various groups who were said to change the physical appearance of human beings by manipulating growing children, in a similar way to the horticultural method of bonsai – that is, deliberate mutilation. The most common methods said to be used in this practice included stunting children’s growth by physical restraint, muzzling their faces to deform them, slitting their eyes, dislocating their joints, and malforming their bones. The resulting dwarfed and deformed adults made their living as mountebanks or were sold to lords and ladies to be used as pages or court fools. Link |
| It is Thursday and the moon stands in the zodiac sign Capricorn, waxing (2nd Quater). Here are some influencing powers of the day: element is earth, quality of the day cold day, part of plant root, apparatus bloodstream, body zone: bones, joints, knee, skin, color: blue, complementary color: red (yellow). |
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 [Gun Nuts] What we are coming to. |
| [Fraud] A number of federal agencies have jurisdiction over specific areas of fraud, waste, and abuse. If your complaint relates to any of the following matters; you should report your complaint directly to the appropriate agency listed: Medicare Charges: If your complaint involves the cost charged on a Medicare Summary Notice (MSN), and you received the service, you should contact the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services at:1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227) or on online at Link Identify Theft: If your complaint involves identity theft, unrelated to Medicare, you should contact the Federal Trade Commission at:1-877-438-4338 or online at Link Social Security Fraud: If your complaint involved Social Security Fraud, you should contact the Social Security Administration OIG at:1-800-269-0271 or online at Link Food Stamp Fraud: If your complaint involved Food Stamp Fraud, you should contact the US Department of Agriculture OIG at:1-800-424-9121 or online at Link |
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| Someone said on here that ISIS is trying to get Obama to overreact. Fox News is working overtime to achieve that same objective |
 [Monroe County Mugshots] It’s always great fun to see our neighbors at their worst. Today’s star is a guy’s from Little Torch Key who is a burglar. Link |
| [Kill All Muslims] When are the non-Islamic peoples going to wake up and defend themselves against these sick-o head-choppers? There are 1.6 billion, that’s billion, Muslims running around this rock and all will become your killer if you don’t do something now. Forget about being humane. Forget about being holy. Forget about being the nice guy. Do unto them before they do unto you. They are doing this now, so don’t be a fool and wait to be killed by these whackos. Lock and load and don’t depend on any governments or police, they will be in deep trouble just like you. |
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| It’s a shame FTR doesn’t watch any mainstream media. If he got his eyes off FOX News for a moment he would have seen the President condemning ISIS and their beheadings. If that wasn’t good enough for FTR maybe he might have seen the Vice President condemning them too, saying we’ll “follow them to the gates of hell!” |
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 [Off With Their Heads] To those who believe the beheadings are not real. It is not only the Muslims doing this, but it is happening everywhere. Link |
| Tavernier bartender jailed after fighting with woman and deputy, then smearing deputy with pepper spray. Link |
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| [“Sharia Law in the USA”] In a way it sort of is. Here is the student handbook for the ultra religious, ultra conservative Bob Jones University. Read the chapters Social life/ Entertainment, Music and Technology, Dress codes. It’s rather terrifying. Link |
 It is not just the grinder pumps that are design stupidity in the Cudjoe Regional. They even botched the gravity sewers. DEP reviewers noticed that the slopes of gravity sewers were too flat to meet the minimum required slope to discourage clogging. “You can just make a variance” said FKAA (paraphrased) “because we agree to just flush the pipes from time to time”. Duh, yeah, lets just import treated potable water from Florida City and piss it away down sewer manholes to hopefully prevent pipe blockages.So much for the concerns about inflow and infiltration causing additional wastewater to reach the treatment plant. We will instead pay for drinking water to be fire hosed into the manholes, intentionally adding to the treatment plant loading! As someone who has worked for a Florida utility in a city with weekly grease or sediment clogged gravity sewer pipes, I can tell you that adequate slope is very important. It’s no fun and quite expensive coming out at night to dump a few 5 gallon buckets of lye spiked with aluminum shavings in one end to dissolve and cut up grease slugs and putting the “sewer sucker” truck on the other end of a plugged sewer pipe while the pipe is pressure washed to try to clear the clog. It can take hours. Meanwhile, the whole neighborhood is awake listening to the racket. FKAA claimed that it would cost 1 to 2% more on a gravity sewer to dig the extra 1-1/4 inch deeper for every One Hundred feet of pipe to get a minimum required slope, and that was economically burdensome. Of course, they also claimed that the gravity sewer portion alone of the entire sewer project including the huge master pump stations, many miles of force mains including the Niles Channel crossing, road repaving, etc., etc, totaled $130 million of the $114 million original collection system bid totals. That is not a typo. They claimed just the gravity portion exceeded the total for everything by $16 million! They lie outrageously to DEP just like they lie to us, but you would expect the DEP engineer to be less easily bluffed. Nope, the gravity sewers are allowed to go in at less than minimum required slope. Also, they are allowed to be longer between manholes than the maximum allowed which will significantly complicate cleaning and inspection. Thanks to all of you have contributed to the Dump the Pumps grass roots group that is fighting this idiocy at great legal expense. They will need quite a bit more to finish the job. Hopefully, the judge will award fees returned to the group, which will then distribute back to the donors. Donations are gratefully accepted. Details at http://dumpthepumps.com Show FKAA that you will not be deceived or trampled easily |
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| What does the Islamic State think that the world will do when they decapitate innocents? Do they think we’ll pee our pants and convert toe Muslimism? |
 Kim Kardashian was named British GQ’s Woman of the Year, and to celebrate she posed completely nude for the magazine in a stunningly sexy spread. Link |
| [Bravery of Swamp Fox wins recruits at Blue Savannah] On this day in 1780, Patriot Francis Marion’s Carolina militia routs Loyalists at Blue Savannah, South Carolina, and in the process Marion wins new recruits to the Patriot cause. Link |
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| Sharia Law in the Lower Keys? Where? It will be taken care of. We will not stand for their crap in these islands! |
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| [Grinder Pits] I called Islamorada’s sewer department today and they said that all those leaking vacuum pits that we have been reading about are 2004 installations of RoeVac pits, and it is occurring all through the Upper Keys with those early installations. The molded polyethylene plastic bottoms became brittle and are cracking just like the molded polyethylene grinder pump pits will in the lower Keys. Ten years and the whole pit needs replacement! Those Roevac pits last many years in Germany, but polyethylene especially cannot stand up to this climate. Where does the money come from to replace hundreds and thousands of grinder pits in a few years? The worst of it is, the pit needing replacement then is in your yard and a bigger hole is needed for replacement than original installation–tearing out your landscaping and ruining your yard again with the heavy equipment needed for the replacement |
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| [“You can fix stupid”] No, you can fix ignorant, not stupid. |
 US constitution, article 3 section 3. Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying war against them, or in adhering to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort. No person shall be convicted of treason unless on the testimony of two witnesses to the same overt act, or on confession in open court. |
| [“Melt the Mideast”] I wonder what good ol’ “the buck stops here” Harry Truman’s policy would be with these diaper heads chopping off American heads. A couple of nice glass craters in the vicinity of Mecca & Riyadh might show them what terrorism is all about. But I guess that wouldn’t be politically correct. |
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| [Gun Nuts] For all the deep thinkers in our midst, a bit of focus, now easy does it, try not to overwhelm the cerebellum, but methinks that maybe blaming the N.R.A. for gun tragedy is akin to blaming the building of an atomic bomb on education. |
 The world is now a Pirate ship. Either your are one of the crew or you are one of the cabin boys. |
| “FTR: Obama not personally condemning ISIS” I’m sure they would just be shaking in their little terrorist boots. If Obama did say anything it wouldn’t be the “Right” thing anyway. Get it? “Right” thing? No matter what he says or does you’d pick it apart just because he said it. |
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| [“I no longer participate in the democratic process, I’m stuck here”] How many Cubans fled their country when they felt oppressed? How many refugees have fled their countries for the beacon of light and freedom America has been known for the world over? The fact is, you’re a pussy. Too scared to pack up and leave this place like those who have far worse than you have ever had or will ever have. You’re just content to bitch, piss and moan about things, but won’t do anything to make change. You, dear OP[?] are what’s wrong with America today. I bet you’re one of the minions who voted for “Hope & Change” and are now disgusted with how “hoax and chains” turned out. America – love it or leave it!. |
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| FTR. Sotloff became an Israeli citizen so does Obama now have to give condolences to other countries families or should the countries leaders they are citizens of do that? He held dual citizenship but he wanted to be considered an Israeli.Seems to me you should be upset the leader of Israel didn’t publically give condolences.
But then you cant bash Obama if you held other countries leaders responsible. We know blame Americas leaders first. |
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| A POSTER WROTE: “It’s odd that FTR guy railed against the unions seeing that he was a union member his whole police career. And is no doubt enjoying the benefits of said membership. I bet he didn’t pay for his or Mrs. FTR’s surgeries out of pocket (he’s against healthcare too unless someone else pays for it).FTR’S RESPONSE: My Deer critics seem to have a monopoly on wrong. First of all, for a very brief time, about a year, very early in my career, as a young patrol officer, I was a member of the FOP. That was long before it was a union. I quit it because, even though it was not yet a union, the meetings degraded to nothing more than bitch sessions about anyone who was above the rank of Sergeant. Then, the FOP was supposed to be a fraternal organization and I figured a cop was a cop even if he/she was a ranking officer. I was never a member of the FOP thereafter, nor a member of any police union.
Second. Mrs. FTR’s and my health care have been paid for by her and me. Just like every other Medicare client, we both had large sums of money deducted from our paychecks for many, many years to pre pay for our legally mandated enrollment in Medicare when we reached 65 yoa. Additionally, Medicare does not pay the full freight on medical care, I believe they pay only about 70-80%. Mrs. FTR and I pay nearly $800 per month for supplemental insurance alone. Even that does not pay the full freight, there are deductibles. Third. I oppose Democare because it will inevitably lead to higher health care costs, especially deductibles, while decreasing the quality and availability of health care. You will note that I labeled the so called Affordable Care Act as Democare. That’s because it could not exist were it not for the slavish compliance with Obama’s demands by the Democrats.
A POSTER WROTE: “I cannot believe there are idiots who think Sharia Law is law anywhere within the USA, but they exist, even right here in the lower Keys. Yikes!”
Sharia is alive, well, and growing in the good old US of A. As the number of court cases that involve conflicts between civil law and Sharia law rise in America, many American states have introduced bills banning courts from accommodating Sharia law. Constitutionally those laws may not mention “Sharia”, but simply refer to “foreign legal doctrine.” Obama and his DOJ are avid believers that it is perfectly appropriate for foreign law to trump American law in many cases. Those bills are vehemently opposed by well-funded Muslim groups that also campaign against politicians who sponsor and/or support such bills. Very recently such a bill passed in Florida. It was interesting to note that it passed despite strong Democrat opposition. The bill was Senate Bill 386, “Application of Foreign Law in Courts.” To attract and manage (Middle Eastern) Muslim wealth, an increasing number of American financial institutions are becoming Sharia-compliant. This requires donating a percentage of their annual profits to Islamic organizations designated by their Sharia-compliance advisors, many of whom are members of the Muslim Brotherhood and funnel money to even terrorist groups (donations must go to one or more of eight recipient categories, one of which is Jihad). Estimated to be five million, the Muslim population in USA today is about the size of the Hispanic population 27 years ago, but it is growing six times faster than the national rate, thanks to high rates of birth, immigration and conversions. Islam’s growth in American prisons is particularly troubling. About 80% of Americans who convert to a religion while in prison become Muslims, who now comprise about 20% of American prison population. The conversion rate is especially high among African-American inmates. In 2009 Obama nominated Harold Hongju Koh to be the State Departments legal advisor. The Democrat controlled Senate accepted him. In a 2007 speech Koh, an advocate for internationalizing US law stated that it would be appropriate for Sharia law to apply in US civil disputes. If you’re interested in learning a little more about the conflict between US and Sharia law, check out Link I urge you to take two minutes and read the link |
FTR’S RESPONSE: First of all please note that the poster was compelled to call those he disagrees with “idiots.” Then you have to consider the fact that he is dead wrong.