Thursday, January 29, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

7-mile-pigeon-key[Favorite Things] Lefties, Righties, Democrats, Republicans, tree huggers, NRA’s, these are a few of my favorite things. I seem to have a little of each one. America, 200 plus years later and we are still here with the highest living standard, best doctors, schools, the best everything in the world! Yes, the best of everything. We must be doing a little something right or left. We all want the same thing ,we just fight ,bitch & moan over how to get it done. Kind of like a big family. Everything is going to be all right or left, I can feel the love. Stay involved, make a difference, be nice and have a blessed, grand and glorious day. If for some reason you don’t agree this was a special day — try missing one.
P.S. FTR, we all look forward to seeing you well and flappin’ your new flipper.

Kelly Clarkson — My Favourite Things

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[Fall off bar stool] It is so cold down here now that iguanas are falling from trees and Jersey girls are falling off bar stools! Warning: do not attempt to upright these fallen women. They will claim you injured them and sue you. You can help the iguanas, they won’t mind. Video
spilled milk
I opened a new gallon jug of non-fat milk and there was water on the top, about a quarter inch. It smelled fresh. I mixed it, but wonder why there was water on the top?
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snow1.29.15
[Snow] 27 inches of fluffy blizzard snow (not here, up there).
[“Key Deer are not really Key deer. Henry Flagler brought them from Virginia. Over the course of time they adapted to this environment and decreased in size.”] Time to put your tin foil hat back on.  References to and descriptions of the Key Deer are found throughout the 16th century journals of the Spanish explorers of the Keys.
Springers12.9.14
I found a backpack on BPK. Call and describe it to claim it. Classified Ads > Lost and Found
computer worm eats disk
[Malware] I received in an FKAA email from their IT manager: “Another new virus is floating around. If you receive an email with the subject “efax” and some number, please delete it….”
Posting confirming pictures and documents of 9/11 on the CT would be an exercise in futility. These conspiracy nuts wouldn’t change their beliefs no matter what the evidence showed. This same personality defect is shared with the religious whackos who reject reality in favor of a comforting dream no matter how absurd it is. Besides, all this evidence has been available online for over a decade and never has caused any “truther” to become any more rational. There will always be a significant portion of the population that will be sure of the existence of UFOs, Bigfoot, 9/11 conspiracies, Jesus appearing on dog’s butts and all the anti-science delusion. Unfortunately they vote and reproduce so we may never  be rid of them.
yerf-dog
Yerf-Dog Rover utility vehicle
. Only 91 hours, 125cc. Manual dump bed. Soft cover. $3400 Classified Ads > Autos
johnsons-7.9.14
[Congressional Republicans push to get fuel prices back up] It seems those rascally Republicans also were the ones promoting fracking and other drilling methods in order to make us not dependent on foreign oil. This is the reason the gas prices are way down now. The O and democrats are pushing to reduce our oil production which will increase gas prices in the long run.
sexy angel[“Woman helicopter pilot”] Is that Mosquito Control angel married? I have three retirements and a house. I would be very interested in making her the happiest girl in the USA if given the chance. She is magnificently beautiful and I’m not married.
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Happy Thursday from Springer’s Bar and Grill. Todays special is shrimp-salad-kaiser. It’s our taste of the sea on a bun. So come and join us for lunch or a light supper.
Friday’s special is beer batter fish and chips or fish florentine.
This Sunday is Super Bowl, what’s everyone doing. Come join us for the festivities. The Big Game starts at 6:30, and all 14 televisions will be tuned in to catch all the action. We have Jell-O shots and a couple food specials to help you cheer on your favorite team, New England Clam Chowder and a Seattle Dog.
super-bowl29There will be a 50/50 raffle throughout the day to benefit the Friends of Bahia Honda State Park. A non profit community organization to help funding improvements to the park. As always our corn hole boards will be set up for all you enthusiasts who want to get your game on before kick off. Remember Springer and the gang are always up for a challenge, so come on in and take on some of our corn hole league champions. Join us at Springers for a day of great food, fun and game time excitement. See you there
Huge Multi Family Yard Sale in Big Pine on Sunday, February 1st from 8am to 1pm. Port Pines Heights neighborhood on the corner of Kyle and Gumbo Limbo St. Kayak, paddle boat, furniture, original art, clothing, fishing gear for sale.
hareens 12.2.14
[Both Sides Now] Great new web site featuring the cult left and their fellow thermageddonites in their own words on climate change. Here is a sample:

The Earth is doomed!
“The climate centres around the world, which are the equivalent of the pathology lab of a hospital, have reported the Earth’s physical condition, and the climate specialists see it as seriously ill, and soon to pass into a morbid fever that may last as long as 100,000 years.”
James Lovelock, The Independent Thursday 16 January 2006
The Earth is not doomed!
Environmental scientist James Lovelock, renowned for his terrifying predictions of climate change’s deadly impact on the planet, has gone back on his previous claims, admitting they were ‘alarmist’. “The problem is we don’t know what the climate is doing. We thought we knew 20 years ago. That led to some alarmist books – mine included – because it looked clear cut, but it hasn’t happened”. He added that other environmental commentators, such as former vice president Al Gore, are also guilty of exaggerating their arguments. Link

the-fly-vincent-priceWe senior citizens realize too late in life what the world is all about, what our so called governments really are, what religion has done to this planet, and the sickening aspects of all wars. We humans are very stupid animals, and probably are not the chosen life form to continue on. What is the future, no one rally knows, but I would bet there were many recycled cultures in the last several billion years that we do no know about. We humans have only been here for 100,000 miserable years and have so far destroyed ourselves by mutation and pollution. No other animal except the pig, the cow, sheep and the virus have done as much damage as humans. It is said that if we stacked all the Mount Trashmores into one large pile it would dwarf Mt Everest three times. We deserve what is about to crash on this rock and I hope the next batch of insect intellects does better.
[“All you who were who saw what happened on 9/11 should post them here”] Do you mean that if it’s on the CT you’ll believe it? Do you mean that the thousands of eye witnesses who took millions of photos and videos you don’t believe because they were not on the CT? It’s time to get real.
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[“Science denier”] Why would anybody care what Bill Nye the science guy says? He is a kook and always has been.
bon-scott-ac-dc[Lesson 4: When Drunk Sleep On Your Side] On Jan. 27, 1980, AC/DC closed out its ‘Highway to Hell’ tour with a makeup date in Southampton, U.K. Although no one knew it at the time, they were also playing their last show with Bon Scott on lead vocals. Scott was found dead on Feb. 19,1980. The singer’s appetite for intoxication was well known among his bandmates, but the details of his final night on Earth were tragically mundane: He went out drinking with some friends, overindulged and, after being left in his car with the driver’s seat reclined so he could sleep it off, ended up choking to death on his own vomit.
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rummage sale29[Rummage Sale] Guidance Care Center’s Personal Growth Center in Marathon is holding it’s annual rummage sale on Friday, February 13th from 9:00am-2:00pm. And on Saturday February 14th from 9:00am-1:00 pm.

We are located at 3000 41st Street Ocean Marathon Florida 33040. We are a non-profit group that provides therapy for people with mental health and or substance abuse problems. We offer classes on coping with these issues. We also provide daily lunches, print a daily and monthly newsletter, have internet access available, sell clothing at very reasonable prices. We have case managers and therapists and on Friday’s go on community outings. The money raised from the rummage sale will go to buying need items for our center and to fund these relaxing and educational outings. Events

[“Frankenskeeters–If they dump millions of mutant mosquitoes on the Keys, can those bugs still bite us?”]  No, only the female mosquitoes bite and they hope to release genetically modified sterile male mosquitoes (that don’t bite) to prevent the female mosquitoes from getting pregnant by the fertile male mosquitoes. Think of it as a form of birth control. It’s had excellent success in Brazil and the Cayman Islands. They are running out of traditional options, either they do it or we all will have to leave the Keys and likely South Florida or suffer from painful incurable diseases.
Nira-Tocco-6.14
[Not Fade Away] Have you noticed that songs no longer fade to the end any longer? They now just stop. It used to be the singers would repeat the last line over and over as the sound slowly faded away.
just-fat
I noticed that the heat was on continuously this morning as I had breakfast. Must be cold out. How cold? Website Wunderground said. 59 degrees at an Eden Pines weather station location. Brrr! Fortunately, for snow depth, it said “Not available”. Unfortunately, for air quality it also said “Not available”. Well, if there is no air outside, maybe I should not try to go to work even though there is no snow. The good news with the chilly weather is that it should lower the water temperature which might inhibit any storms later. Also the crab bait lasts longer. Stay warm my friends, and try not to breathe.
dinosaur chasing caveman fearThe Key Deer is believed to be a subspecies of white-tailed deer which migrated to the Florida Keys from the mainland over a land bridge during the Wisconsin glaciation about 25,000 years ago. The earliest known written reference to Key deer comes from the writings of Hernando de Escalante Fontaneda, a Spanish sailor shipwrecked in the Florida Keys and captured by Native Americans in the 1550s.
[“Key Deer are not really Key deer but Virginia White Tail deer”] Wrong. They look similar, but the Key Deer have one gene that differentiates them.
accurate-home-insp-750w
I would support Big Pine Shipping if they would support the Coconut Telegraph — a win-win situation. (Ed: Oh thank you nice person. Kissy, kissy, kiss kiss)
gangster tommy gun
[“Neighbors from hell”] I took care of it myself with a deal they could not refuse. Capise? It was the only way those thick heads understood.
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chicken-911
[“9/11 Conspiracy”] I was a witness to the world trade center attacks and have the proof of what really took them down.
[Faith] As much as I’d like to be, I’m not kidding: 26% of U.S. Citizens believe God decides who wins or loses in sports!
fanci10-16-14
grimal-groveGrimal Grove hosts our February 12 Chamber Business Social, featuring something we all love — chocolate!  This will be a great networking opportunity and an exceptionally good time. From 5:30 to 7pm there’ll be live music by Josef Crosby from Scythian and several other local musicians.  We’re featuring appetizers that include “Grimal Guacamole” and Starfruit Salsa, both from fruit grown in the grove. This spot is truly a treasure for the Lower Keys.  If you haven’t been there, this is your chance to learn about this extremely unique property.

The Grove is on Cunningham Ln. behind the Big Pine Resort Motel? Take Mac Court to the back parking lot or use the overflow parking at The Vineyard.

Reviving A Paradise – Grimal Grove

[Way Big Garage Sale] What time does this Way Big Sale start on Sat/Sun?
ufo alien hatchTurn your computer into a UFO detector. A new program uses your USB webcam to scan the skies for UFOs, and when it spots something that is not a bird, airplane, or other known object, it will record the UFO for you to review later.

The program was created by ProjectCE: Connecting Evidence, and is simply called UFO Detector. It is available for free on their website. According to the site, the program includes a “detection algorithm that looks for light emitting object which cannot be identified.”

In other words, it will be able to detect whether the object is something mundane or not. In order to help improve the algorithm, users can submit pictures of objects that UFO Detector suspects are UFOs that obviously are not. These “false-positives” will presumably then help the software not make the same mistake in the future. Link

[Social Security] Wage earning Americans (especially those 65 and older) have paid into this system all their working lives. Link
Radio-Shack10.31.14
[Phishing] Dear Customer, We received a message to terminate your email account on 29/01/2015, the process has begun by our Security Team. Please give us two working days to terminate your account. Sign in here to cancel termination. Verify your account here. (At least they didn’t ask for pictures of my first born.)
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WEBvic15_Jan29ev
[What Exactly Is Your Life] That’s a vital question that the bible presents to us. “What is your life? It is a vapour that appears for a little time and then vanishes away” (James 4;14).

In other words, your life, in the context of eternity, occupies about as much time as a puff of smoke, which appears for just a moment and then is gone from this world.

Isaksen11.5.14
Key West police oversight board asks FBI to do civil-rights probe into in-custody death. Two Key West police officers were reprimanded for their actions in Charles Eimers’ death. The Key West board that hears complaints against city police voted Monday to send a letter to the FBI asking to “investigate whether federal law was violated by officers of the Key West Police Department” in the 2013 in-police-custody death of Michigan man Charles Eimers. In the Jan. 26 letter to George Piro, FBI special agent in charge of the agency’s Miami office, Citizen Review Board Chairman Michael Behrend outlines the Eimers incident, from an initial Florida Department of Law Enforcement investigation to a wrongful-death lawsuit filed by the Eimers family last year.

“The CRB believes that an investigation by federal law enforcement is necessary to determine whether Charles Eimers’ federal civil rights were violated,” the letter says.

Multiple videos from Eimers’ takedown have surfaced online, including one that allegedly shows audio and video recordings from a Key West police officer’s Taser.

“The CRB has concerns whether FDLE’s investigation was thorough, complete and fair, especially in light of its [sic] not having obtained the second video to the event. It appears to the CRB that the second video was readily available to the FDLE,” Behrend said in the letter.

The letter references the lack of indictments in recent high-profile cases involving confrontations between police and civilians across the country that ended in the civilians dying.

“The Eimers case appears to be another of those unfortunate situations that has caused many in the public to question the use of force by law enforcement,” the letter says.

FDLE spokeswoman Samantha Andrews could not be reached for comment.

CRB Executive Director Larry Beaver said he expected to send the letter Tuesday. The CRB initially discussed sending the letter to the Justice Department, but Beaver said Justice directed the CRB to send it to the FBI. Nonetheless, the Justice Department is cc-ed on the letter.

Meanwhile, the CRB plans to continue its own investigation into the Eimers case. Beaver said he has a stack of paperwork from a public-records request he filed with police.

tiger wag tail blinks
[“Tower of London”] In 1066 during the only foreign invasion of the Tower complex 120 animals were released from the first zoo in England. The menagerie contained tigers, bears, and kangaroos.
When Hillary Clinton is elected president will Bill Clinton be referred to as “First Gentleman?” Do you think that Bill will sneak Monica into the White House when Hillary is not around?
BP-Flea-Market10.10.14
The reason that Santa is so jolly, is that he knows where all the bad girls live
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redneck29[“Neighbors from hell respondent”] You sound like the neighbor from hell. Camera, cops, homeowner association. Stay up north Yankee. Us Southerners will deal with our neighbors from hell. Maybe a cocktail and mentioning what bothers us like a man would do. Keep your PC stuff up North. We still believe if you paid for your property it belongs to you. Not the neighbors. I personally think bad neighbors make even me look good.
Can the person who delivers the Wall Street Journal please find my abode at 361 Coral Ave, Ramrod Key? Thank you.
manley-deboer-1.9.15
[?]What female manager was diddling the pot? Leslie Wickem. A thief is but a thief to everyone’s money. 1998-1999. Basingstoke brisons. His bite is worst than his bark. Did he ever divorce me and rekindle his love for his manager. Leslie had her hand in the kettle of gold. She stirred the pot at Basingstoke, England. That is what Rick Fera told me himself on our honeymoon. I it took them both a week to recover. ~petra1372@gmail.com
bum-relocator[Bum Relocator] Enough with all the defense of these parasites known as bums that foul our environment both urban and wild. They made a choice to live this way, just read about George on Humans of the Keys. Came all the way from Boston just to drink and defecate in our mangroves. I propose we send them all to Cuba via this patented Bum Relocator and let Fidel clean up after them.
[Captain Doom and Gloom] If we farm out all the work that our government cannot do to the Inuit, will they fix it?
With all the high brass resigning from the US military, will they have 4 star Warrant Officers as tops?
My wife bought me a Colt .22 short semi-auto pistol. I said it was useless for self-defense. She said it matches my other pistola!
For years I wondered if my vote counted and just found out it doesn’t unless you are a illegal alien.
My wife walks around the house in my football t-shit. The mailman said he didn’t know I was a Phillies fan.
My kids are the smartest kids in school. They have never been caught doing anything wrong.
If beef is so good for us, why are there no cannibal cows?

DEF: CHRISTIAN n, A person with one hand in their shorts hoping for salvation from a dream merchant.
DEF: MUSLIM n, A person who wants to control a world of useless eaters who produce and maintain nothing.
DEF: SCIENTOLOGIST n, A person wanting to be Jewish, but not smart enough.
DEF: BAPTIST n, A screaming meme who sees what the Head tells them to see.
DEF: HINDU n, A person who is in the Bob Villa Do-It-Yourself Fan Club and reads Playboy.
DEF: DEMOCRAT n, ‘all the above’, the destroyers’ of worlds.
DEF: REPUBLICAN n, Greedy destroyers of worlds.
DEF: REALIST n, A vanishing breed of human that was last seen in Oregon

politics-zone-750w
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cruz29
Sarah Palin top Republican Presidential candidate accidently outed the G.O.P.

with this comment.

““GOP leaders, by the way, y’know the man can only ride ya when your back is bent. So strengthen it. Then the man can’t ride ya, America won’t be taken for a ride.”

Cant pin that 1 one the Liberal media. Palin/Trump 2016.

Return fun to American politics

from the right
right-wing-cooked
FTR is away getting a new Right wing. He’ll return as soon as he’s well. Get well soon FTR!