Saturday, June 6, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Weekly

Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com
(Ed: Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)

d-day66
Alcohol is an antidote to poisoning by antifreeze. Link
Plane-graphic[Big Bubba Is Watching YOU] F.B.I. caught spying on Key Westers. Citizens reporting seeing aircraft circling over Key West in recent weeks have been right. At least one of the Cessna 182s seen at the Key West International Airport recently is registered to KQM Aviation of Bristow, Virginia, one of the alleged fictitious companies outed this week by the Associated Press as being linked to the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Link
Was there God when the dinosaurs were around or did He come with the Neanderthals — or latter? (If so He probably didn’t have much to do in those days.) I’ve never read of any god before two thousand years ago. Is that just a clerical error?Seriously, when did man create the myth of a god?
diademaThe Coral Restoration Foundation has out-planted 35,000 corals in the Florida Keys.  I hope they have more luck than they did out-planting Diadema (long spine sea urchins) whose success rate is about zero.
[Floaters] A 76-year-old man died while swimming at the Dry Tortugas Tuesday and a badly decomposed body was found in the water off Big Coppitt Key Wednesday, bringing the number of dead found in or near the water to four since Saturday in the Florida Keys.
pizza neonI will never buy pizza in the Keys again because I hate being ripped off with the garbage they sell for rip off prices that tastes like a stinking cracker smeared with red stuff and sprinkled with colorful tasteless toppings. Stick your stinking pizzas where the sun does not shine you bums!
[“Rats”] Well I guess no one knows who to report a rat problem to in Monroe County. Maybe the FKAA or the County’s municipal building? If anyone knows about rats, they should!
sailboat4
Science just proved that conspiracy theorists will literally believe anything.  Link
david-lettermanI am the only American who has never seen the David Letterman Show. It’s too late now. What did I miss that was more beneficial than my sleep?
[Cornhole Championship] Shipyard Brewing Company has partnered with the American Tailgating League (ATL) and South Florida Cornhole to bring the Shipyard Brewing Company National  Championships of Bags Tournament (COB) to Key West, FL for 3 local tournaments. The kick-off event will be held at Hurricane Hole on June 6th, Turtle Kraals, June 7th and a night time event on Saturday, June 13th at Viva Saloon. A percentage of proceeds from these Key West events will benefit the Key West, SPCA. Each location will feature “bring your own partner” game and then a blind-draw match up. Bring your own partner tournament will have a guaranteed $500 cash prize pool!Other local Florida events have been scheduled for June and July including the State Championship in Orlando, FL. Other states competing in this national tournament currently include: Maine, Ohio, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Texas, North Carolina, and South Carolina. More state to follow. Shipyard and the ATL will set up a series of cornhole tournaments in each state which will commence in State Championships in August, followed by the final Championship of Bags August 28-30th in Mooresville, NC (Just outside of Charlotte).Each tournament day is $40 per team to sign-up, Afterwards there will be a $15 per person Blind Draw tournament. Visit: www.SouthFloridaCornhole.com/Shipyard to register. Beer specials include $1 Shipyard beer during registration time and $4 Shipyard pints and cans during match play, $15 buckets.The first round of games will be open to 32 teams of two and will take place at the following locations in Key West:
~Saturday, June 6th, Hurricane Hole, 5130 U.S. 1 Key West. 10:30am-12:00p registration, first bag thrown at 12:00p.
~Sunday, July 7th, Turtle Kraals Restaurant  231 Margaret St. Key West. 10:30am-12:00p registration, first bag thrown at 12:00p.
~Saturday, June 13th, Viva Saloon 903 Duval St. Key West. 5:30p-7:00p registration, first bag thrown at 7:00p.
fifa soccer cup[My Favorite Scandal] I like world soccer’s FIFA scandal the best of all the scandals because it is international and no one was hurt. It is ‘just’ an international money making scheme gone awry. But really, I think a soccer championship outside, in two million degree heat, in Qatar was the straw that broke the camel’s (pun) back.
[“My place of worship happens to be the liquor store”] Amen to that, brother, and praise His Holiness Big Jack Danels and all His bros an sisters! Hallayyouya!
tsa28[TSA or T&A?] How to predict a pat down. I bet you spotted it too. The suitcase doesn’t have a name tag on it!
[Key West Botanical Garden] 2016 will be a grand year as the Garden celebrates its 80th anniversary.  Just one of the things planned to commemorate this crowning achievement is to revise and update the highly received Garden Guide: 80th Anniversary Edition.  You can be a part of the celebration by sponsoring a personal ad or notice to the Garden to be printed into the edition.  The options are open and just a phone call away.The Garden is actively seeking summertime volunteers to help with greeting visitors, maintenance, preservation, Nursery and Garden work, Office help and event planning.  The loss of our ‘snow-bird’ volunteer core has left us ‘short-handed’.  No experience necessary, training will be provided. This is a great opportunity for student summer time activity where all volunteer time counts as community service hours.We hope you will enjoy the June 2015 newsletter of this month’s activities, news and updates. Join me in thanking Beryn Harty for her continued efforts in reporting the Garden news, offers and pictures. Link
sister00[“Sister Died”] David Allan Coe mentions Sister in this song.Jimmy Buffet Doesn’t Live In Key West Anymore—David Allan Coe
2015 Triathlon in Marathon. Video
lost-sister
Cats kept exclusively indoors live longer, healthier lives than outdoor cats. Link
51-Ford-Imperial-Grille
[A Real Plum] ’51 Ford Imperial
[Fear of Bargain Hunters] My wife will not go into a Kmart or Wal-Mart because she is scared of the mutants wondering around those places.
moon5
Full moon
or is this an eclipse?
Why are the Florida Keys turning into religious cult hide-a-ways? Is this a good thing?
slingshot5You’ve tried church. You’ve tried prayer. You’ve even sacrificed the fatted calf, but God still won’t smite your enemies. Get the Jesus Slingshot. The Jesus Slingshot will help you do unto others before they can do unto you!
Where can I get the cheapest propane tank refills in Marathon? I have a man who cleans the grills between vacation rental tenants and of course, the guests don’t close the tank when finished cooking and as a result I need to run out and exchange and would like to charge the homeowners the least amount possible.
bill-monrey
[Carjack] If someone is in the car with a gun to your head do not drive off, repeat: do not drive off! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
KWHC1
Key West High School Graduation
in 2015. What are they pointing at?
You can’t run through a campground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents.
cork7[“Ban volcanoes”]   I like it. I want to see the size of that cork!
[Free AudioBooks] One free book per day all June. Link
rambler-trinidad00[“I wonder how long it will take for American car collectors to buy and ship all the old cars from Cuba to the US”]  I’ve thought that for a long time.  If Jay Leno isn’t down there already he’s wasting time.  Problem is most of them have been home-re-engineered to keep running to a point that there might not be much original remaining, but a lot of those bodies look to be in pretty good shape.
Semperfi Lawn Care. Serving Big Pine to Rockland Key. 305-304-6682
d-day76[Happy D-Day!] On June 6, 1944, the Allies invade Western Europe in the largest amphibious attack in history.  Video
Looks like the sewer project has been castrated by the taxpayers in the Keys and it is about time. I doubt they had anything to do with getting this scam fixed, it was probably one of the con men who got scared realizing they could go to jail and be fined for pulling a get rich quick scam like the highway beautification game. Dog parks anyone? Ferry Boats to Cuba anyone? Aluminum railings everywhere? It is only our tax money they play monopoly with. Remember that.
ftr from the right 75hDon’t forget to visit The From The Right Guy at our National Politics page where you can post a comment after signing in.
Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com