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2016 January

Saturday, January 16, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

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rudolph-red-nose-deer

 

Rudolph the red nose Key deer grabs a quick lunch before his ride.

[Another US1 accident] Another accident Wednesday morning. This time the car drifted into an oncoming dump truck! If you are texting and driving stop. There is no text that important. The life you save may be your own.

When the sheriff investigates, do they look at cellphone records to access blame and give tickets?

jack-watson-bucky-rebel[Jack Watson, Bucky & Rebel] The sign on the trail dedicated to Jack C. Watson at National Key Deer Refuge in Florida is as quiet and understated as the man himself: Watchful steward of the Key Deer. Without Watson’s stewardship there might very well be no Key deer at all. Unregulated hunting had brought the population of Key deer to an all-time low in the late 1940s—about 50 animals. Public interest in the small deer had been pumped up by J.N. “Ding” Darling’s political cartoons as well as a letter to President Harry Truman from an 11-year-old boy concerned about the Key deer. By the early 1950s, the Boone and Crockett Club had donated $5,000 to hire Watson as a warden to protect the few remaining deer. Watson had been a funeral home director and ambulance driver in Miami; now he had joint law enforcement commissions from the state of Florida and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.

Watson had an imposing physical presence and a no-nonsense manner when dealing with poachers. He soon was named U.S. game agent, and his territory covered more than a million acres from the Marquesas Keys north and east, including the Everglades. In 1954, three years before National Key Deer Refuge was formally established, he was named its first refuge manager, a position he would hold until his retirement in 1975.

As the Florida Keys continued to develop, cars were as much a threat to Key deer as poachers, and Watson often rehabilitated injured deer in a pen at his home. During Watson’s tenure on the refuge, the Key deer population grew to about 300. Others built on his efforts, and the population is now close to 800. The National Wildlife Federation named him Conservationist of the Year in 1973. In 1976, Watson received the Department of the Interior’s Meritorious Service award.

[First Lottery] The Prince of Whales named New England after hearing an overblown description of it. The new colony of Virginia saw the potential the Bahamas had to provide sustenance for them so they had England declare that all islands within 300 leagues of the coast of Virginia. Were now the colony’s possession. England then instituted a lottery to further support the colony. This continued until 1620.
eagles-little-pine-key[“Where on Big Pine Key is the biggest pine”]  I’m not sure on Pine Key. Little Pine, the island to the north of No Name Key, easily seen from No Name bridge, has some of the biggest pines. A few years back, it also had nesting eagles, wild pigs, and lots of rattlesnakes.
This morning, NOAA Fisheries published regulations implementing the Gulf of Mexico Fishery Management Council’s Offshore Aquaculture Fishery Management Plan.  These regulations authorize us to issue up to 20 federal permits to produce up to 64 million pounds of cultured product annually; limiting the production of individual permit holders to 20% of that total, or 12.8 million pounds annually.  We will begin accepting permit applications when the rule becomes effective in mid-February.  Permits will be effective for an initial period of 10 years and can be renewed in 5-year increments. Additional information on this rulemaking is available. Link
state-road4a-north

 

All the sewer work is done and they paved State Road 4 on Little Torch Key and it looks beautiful. The cynic in me wonders, how long before they tear it up again? My guess is a year.

[British Music Icon David Bowie] Tributes have come from all over the world to David Bowie who has died aged 69. The British singer was a great innovator and style icon whose career spanned five decades. In a rare interview in 2002, he spoke to the BBC’s John Wilson about the art of songwriting. Audio
kwanzaa candles feet

What happened to Kwanzaa, the black people’s “Christmas”? I think the real Christmas won out.

[Poisoning Rats] Another perspective in regards to the person objecting to the individual who insists on poisoning the rats on his own property. The neighbor with the dog should endeavor to keep his animal on his own property when not on a leash, as per County law.  I believe that would end the danger of animals being unintentionally poisoned.
king-fish-bsaIf you love to fish you will fish everywhere there is water, fresh, salt, creeks, rivers, ponds & lakes. Light tackle, cane poles, bait-casters, hand lines, spin, conventional. You will fish. Catching–that’s a different story. Blessing’s my friends from Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store. Rockin’ you Right at the Light for over 30 years!
[Bad Taste, Funny Joke] Timeout Magazine has published what they consider a joke: The White House gardener was fired for asking for a spade and a hoe.
I believe in free speech, but I also respect the President and the First Lady. It is a shame that publisher does not.
starbucks00

 

[“Sacred places are being desecrated”] This Starbucks is at the centuries old castle in Prague.

Everybody wants a Harley for Sturgis. Video
sharps-rifle-gun[Guns] The only change that the Sharps breech-loading arms will probably make in the art and practice of war will be to increase the amount of ammunition to be expended, and necessarily to be carried along; to still further “thin out” the lines of attack, and to reduce battles to short, quick, decisive conflicts. It does not in the least affect the grand strategy, or the necessity for perfect organization, drill, and discipline. The companies and battalions will be more dispersed, and the men will be less under the immediate eye of their officers, and therefore a higher order of intelligence and courage on the part of the individual soldier will be an element of strength. When a regiment is deployed as skirmishers, and crosses an open field or woods, under heavy fire, if each man runs forward from tree to tree, or stump to stump, and yet preserves a good general alignment, it gives great confidence to the men themselves, for they always keep courageous men         are generally unconscious of possessing the quality: therefore, when one professes it too openly, by words or bearing, there is reason to mistrust it. I would further illustrate my meaning by describing a man of true courage to be one who possesses all his faculties and senses perfectly when serious danger is actually present. ~General W. T. Sherman   Video
[“No Name Bar”] The person writing about the shortcomings of the No Name Bar is correct. I wish it was a good place to go because I live nearby. When I frequent a bar, I just drive in to BP proper. There are 4 or 5 great choices who appreciate and cater to locals and have happy hours! There is just no good reason to put up with the No Name’s tourist only crap.
heron12

 

 

[“Name the white bird”] Great Blue Heron.

Tagging studies reveal secrets of lionfish movement. Link
snarling-slippers

 

[Snarling Old Man] Look, FTR guy has come out with his own line of bedroom slippers. He finally found one that fit.

[“250 hp Suzuki has a O2 sensor defect that didn’t affect the operation of the motor”] This is incorrect. It did effect the motor’s operation, however the operator could not detect it. It most likely ran a richer fuel mixture and used more fuel than normal.
photo-booth[“No Name Bar”] Their name and the fact that there’s a quarter of a million dollars stapled to ever surface is brilliant marketing. Like Gypsy Rose Lee said, “You gotta’ have a gimmick.” I suggested to a local bar owner to buy or rent one of those photo booths where tourists would sign and staple their pictures to their walls. If a tourist’s picture is on the wall they are definitely going to return on their next visit and also tell their friend to go there.
[Lottery Advice] If you find you are holding the winning ticket, before anyone finds out, call everyone you know. Tell them you have an emergency and need to borrow $500. They will likely all ignore you. This will come in handy in few weeks when they find out you won. It will make it much harder for them to ask to borrow money!
alan-rickman

 

Alan Rickman, ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Die Hard’ actor, dies aged 69. Same age and same week as David Bowie. In the myth of threes, another celebrity should die very soon. Link

[“No Name Bar”] There is no reason for them to cater to locals. They make far more money catering exclusively to tourist. The place is a gold mine covered in dollar bills. I’ve never met a tourist who hasn’t been there. You do the math on that and figure if catering to cheap, whining locals is better for them.
redneck-limo

 

And now the lottery winner from Tennessee.

What is the latest on that round home in Cudjoe Gardens? Is it finished yet? For sale? I would love to tour it!
lotto ballsWhat is disheartening about the Lottery is when you buy $20 worth of tickets and do not get even one stinking number! Two people win the lottery.

They meet at the Lottery office. One person says to the other, ‘Let’s flip a coin and the winner gets to keep all the lottery winnings.’ The other person say, ‘Why? Isn’t half of the winnings good enough for you?’ The first person says, ‘Hey, we just won with odds of millions to one, so what is a 50/50 chance?’

Moral: Stupid is that stupid does!

The worst things that can happen if you win the billion-dollar lottery is the mob calls you, the Pope calls you, the Kardashians call you, your wife’s lawyer calls you or you tell all your friends you won.

[Badmouthing Neighbor] I was going to have a large yard sale next week, but my neighbor, who has lived here for years, told me to forget it because the Snowbirds will cut your throat to reduce the price no matter what you think it is worth, then anything small will walk. Best is to do eBay or just toss it into the trash instead of wasting your time!
Check-grimal-groveThanks to strong community support at last Tuesday night’s weekly Bingo at Boondocks on Ramrod Key, the Coldwell Banker Schmitt Charitable Foundation is overjoyed to present a check for $1,000 to Patrick Garvey for Grimal Grove’s Growing Hope Initiative.

For over 4 years the Schmitt Charitable foundation has been raising money through weekly Bingo to help local families in need as well as assisting other non-profit organizations in their efforts to provide a variety of services throughout Monroe County.

Photo from left to right: Patti Nickless, Stella Nelson (head turned), Marianne Nelson, Kim Gabel, Zoe Garvey, Patrick Garvey, Angelica Garvey, Eric Gilbert, Ana Garvey, Nira Tocco and Karen Haack.

[Website Algorithms] Are they watching you? Ever notice when you look for something online or mention it to friends, the next day the TV has ads for it, or your computer tries to sell you something with 100’s of unwanted ads? Sure they are, it is what Windows and the Apple OS are all about now, to get your money. Want to Get a Life. then throw the computers away and go fishing or have fun!
cage chasing cat

 

[If It Fits, I Sit] Guaranteed antidepressant. When the picture comes on, just click the middle of it, and enjoy Video

[Some Thoughts] Death is the number 1 killer in the world.  Life is sexually transmitted.  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.  Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.  In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.  Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may burn your arse tomorrow.
bahia-honda-1948[“My husband and I are snowbirds”] We are very happy to have you and your husband here. You could go just about anywhere, you picked us. Thank you. Most of the folks that say rude things are new to Big Pine Key. By new I mean they have been here for a few years, 5, 10, 25, still very new. They came for the same reason you did. They just have a very poor memory. Most of them have never had to drive to Marathon or Key West to shop, buy food, see a doctor, get a part for their car or boat. The reason we have the things we have is people. Thank you once again for picking us. Feel free to respond if you shopped at Cash & Carrie, ate at Mr. Jim’s & the Big Pine Inn, knew Mr Watson by Pap & road to school over the old bridges.
[Maria Jones] On January 29th, United Way of the Florida Keys will celebrate the volunteer work of board chair Maria Jones at the Community Foundation’s Unsung Hero Luncheon. The Unsung Hero Luncheon serves to honor the dedication of volunteers in the Florida Keys. All Monroe County 501(c)(3) charitable nonprofit organizations are invited to participate and nominate one individual per organization.

Maria is employed at the Florida Keys Electric Cooperative and has been a board member for UWFK for three years. She is also a graduate of Leadership Monroe County Class XX, and is currently serving on their board. Additionally, she serves on the school advisory council for Coral Shores High School.

As board chair this year, Maria collected and distributed hundreds of UWFK “Stuff the Bus” school supplies to students in the Upper Keys. She leads or sits on three UWFK committees and regularly represents United Way at events throughout the community. Furthermore, Maria routinely drives throughout the Keys to support UWFK’s events, no matter how far they are from Key Largo. She leads by example and gives at every opportunity. Maria’s selflessness and dedication truly represent the principles of United Way and the generous Keys community. UWFK is incredibly thankful to have her leading their organization!

11th-annual[Seafood Festival Today and Tomorrow] The Florida Keys Commercial Fishermen’s Association proudly presents the Florida Keys Seafood Festival Sat. Jan.16 from 11 am to 8 pm and Sunday January 17 from 11 am to 5 pm. Showcasing fresh local seafood from our fishermen. a $5 admission gets you a raffle entry for $250 worth of local seafood. One winner each day. Children under 12 get in free. Live local music both days, marine related vendors, marine life exhibits and a Kids Fun Zone. This is a family friendly event. Come enjoy the day with us.
Thank you. You’re doing a great job.
zaphod

Who came first? David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust? Or Doug Adam’s Zaphod Beeblebrox? Inquiring minds want to know.

What does the 15 in describing a 15” floor model drill presses. The drill bit travel is only about 3 ½”.
yard-sale-fenceDear Friends,  I’m going to have a yard sale today, Saturday from 8 to 1 to try to make some breathing room around here.  Here is a partial list of the things I have for sale:   air compressor printer office chairs Yamaha keyboard picture frames blender food processor heavy chains (the kind you pull stuff with), anchor small boat, antique camcorder, slightly less antique camcorder, sculpture, lamps, motors, anvils, binoculars (lots of ’em), camera, knives, small tools, big tools.

I live on Sugarloaf Shores. At the blinker at mm 17, turn onto Sugarloaf Blvd. Go about 1/2 mile to Wahoo Lane & turn right to the last house on the right.

refrigirator door opens

 

Diet day 1: I have removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious.

[No Sea Level Rise-Just Bad Contractors] The reason for the flooded bike trail is that, for whatever reason, paving contractors who work in the Keys seem constitutionally unable to build anything that drains.  After a good rain, just take a look at the intersections in the Avenues, the newly paved 4-lane going into Key West, the airside ramp at the Key West Airport, and many more examples.
convertable car doors openThe Florida Keys Southernmost Car Club (FKSCC) holds its monthly Show & Shine this Sunday, January 17th, from noon till 4 pm. This event is for the lovers of classic, custom, and street rod automobiles of all years and makes. Fords, Chevys, trucks, Ratrods, lowriders, and chrome loaded motorcycles. If it cool and on wheels it will be here.

This fun afternoon event, at the Sugarloaf Lodge, on Sugarloaf Key (MM17) is free to all.   Good food and cold beverages are available at the Tiki. The Club’s new sound system will provide 50’s and 60’s music.  People’s choice award & 50/50. Southernmost Car Club shirts are for sale. Bring the kids to enjoy these beautiful relics of the auto world.

Club members are seeking new members for a full schedule shows events.  Join Sunday and get the new club hat or shirt. For more information contact Dick Moody 305- 942-1758.

jazz saxaphone

Explore the history of jazz. Audio

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
poison bottle jaw moves

To the person that knows of someone poisoning dogs, it is a crime in the state of Florida to intentionally put poison on property other than your own punishable by fines and possible prison. Just finished studying the Florida Code pertaining to this Law. You are supposed to contact your local Animal Control Officer who has to investigate and turn the case over to the Sheriff. That is how the law reads.

After 12 hours of playing with Windows 10 Professional and almost throwing my desktop out of the window, I gave up trying that pile of W10 debris. In my Windows 3.1, W 95, W 98, W2000, W ME, W XP, W Vista W 7, W 8.1 experience, W10 is the fastest OS Microsoft has come out with, but it still sucks big time. It is as useless a tits on a bull. I will maintain Windows 7 (not the greatest either) until I have to suffer severely and bite the W10 bullet in the distant future. I only hope MS will fire all those dildos who wrote W10 and replace them with code writers who listen to their customers who work for a living and give us a good KISS Principle OS. Please!
ftr from the right 75hI don’t know about you, but this old fart is fed up…fed up to here… with the same old same old from D.C.  It is way past time to have fresh new young persons with fresh new young ideas at the helm of our ship of state.  The left is offering an old white female consummate DC power broker who about 70% of Americans believe to be dishonest.  And an even more antique establishment white male, white bread, socialist.  Both of these candidates have trod the halls of D.C. for far too long.  All of their ideas are dusty, cobwebbed, and demonstrably failed.

Marco Rubio is a fresh new face. (continued on the National Politics page …)

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