Saturday, December 5, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

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sexual assault[Sexual Assault Rewarded] I wanted to let the citizens of Monroe County know the type of person Rick Ramsey is and who he promotes at the Sheriff’s office. He just promoted Nicolas Whiteman to a sergeant. Nicolas Whiteman recently sexually harassed a female co-worker while they were at work and he did it in front of other cops. Ramsey and crew swept the whole thing under the rug, poor Nicolas had to watch a video. This wasn’t a case of telling an off colored joke, he actually grabbed the breast of the victim. He committed a crime and then Ramsey promotes him to be a supervisor. Can you imagine what Nicolas will do to female citizens? He has been given a free pass to sexually harass fellow cops (in front of witnesses) without consequences–actually he was rewarded! Ramsey didn’t even make it a full election cycle before his true colors start showing.  ~janeanne@yahoo.com
[Muslims Kill At Least 14 People In California] We have the NRA to thank for this. When will Americans wake up and change our gun laws.

I recently went fishing with a Dutch couple who wanted to know why Americans were so obsessed with guns. I answered that we need them in case we were ever invaded, etc. They laughed and when they realized I was serious, looked at me as if I were crazy. They said they don’t have any shootings in the Netherlands. Video

rip-off-duval[Sidewalk Protest On Duval Street] The Key West Rip Off Rapid Response team is protesting the cosmetic shop’s recent city code violations and their deceptive, high pressure sales tactics. Link
[Rebel Yell] Rare footage of Civil War veterans doing the rebel yell. Video
A better version is by Billy Idol – Rebel Yell
credit card montage 46h[Crooks] In the last week I’ve had my Discover card and my Chase card both cancelled do to fraud. Both cards had online charges originating in China. In both cases they had my full number, expiration date and security numbers. How could this happen to both cards? Is there any way to scan my computer to see if they are able to get to my personal records?
[Gun Nuts] This year to date there have been 355 mass shootings in the USA. We don’t need gun control. We need gun removal!
Front-Sign-springers200h

Sunday, Dec 6th is Sunday Football – NFL Ticket See all the games at Springers

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Y’all come down and see us!

[“I came to the Keys was back in 1965”] Holy crap, why are you so clinging to the past? Who cares what “the old crowd of shrimpers, hard ass fisherman and locals” would think of today’s Key West? Sunday night I went to a concert of Handel’s Messiah at United Methodist Church on Eaton St., after enjoying Michael McCloud at Schooners Wharf earlier that day with some friends and will be attending the Christmas parade Saturday night and the lighted bicycle ride the following week. How does that equal “greed, corruption and disrespect”, not to mention fruit loops, fantasy fairies and holy rollers”? You definitely have the right moniker (Captain Doom and Gloom) as all you see is the negative in this city. Let go and let God!
operator lady

[Information Department] May I have the number for the Big Pine Key Fed Ex office. (Ed: It’s at Google.com)

[Gun Nuts] Rampage in California. Gun laws need to be changed to prohibit large magazines and all assault weapons. The existing assault weapons need to be confiscated and melted. That will be a start. ISIS is not the threat. The NRA is the biggest threat to our security. How can we feel safe when almost every day there is a mass shooting? ISIS is not to blame, they’ve had very little impact on our security and killed no one here. The American political ‘Right’ is the problem and their gun crazy obsession. It’s just not normal and does not make a safer America as they so often like to say. The fact is quite the contrary, the profusion of automatic weapons makes us less safe, just read the papers if you don’t believe me.
angry old man

 

[“I came to the Keys was back in 1965”] You remember it fondly only because you were young then and not as cynical as you are today. You had a lot more fun at 30 than you do today at 70 reminiscing on your lost youth.

I have been listening to US 1 radio since they started in the 80’s. I hope they can work out their problems soon with the move to Sugarloaf. At least on BPK their signal was reliable. Now some days I turn on the radio to silence or choppy reception. It got to the point that I reactivated my Sirius radio in my car and now listen to Howard or CNN or music in the morning. The signal comes from out in space and is more reliable than our old local station. Sometimes I just hate change, especially if it is not for the better.
yoga-pantsNothing beats a woman in yoga pants. Well, maybe a woman in yoga pants holding a cold beer and a plate of bacon!
[Crooks] Thank goodness for the Ripoff Rapid Response Team. Where do we contribute to their cause? Those cosmetic shop scams on Duval are a real blight on Key West!
flag italy[Ristorante Recensione] Bella Luna. Un luogo dove la gente mangia cibo buono, ma non qui, perché è come lontano da buon italiano come si può ottenere!
[“Big man little dog”] That big ox with the little dog in Wednesday’s CT probably did time to get that big. Bet he has fake front teeth and wiggles when he walks!
call blocker

[Call Blocker Free] This app works on Android and Windows phones. Link

Tuesday, December 1, United Way of the Florida Keys celebrated #GivingTuesday, a global day of giving back! Created in New York City in 2012, #GivingTuesday brings people together around the values of service and giving back. More than 60 countries around the world now celebrate this day to round out the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. #GivingTuesday combines the power of social media and individual giving to create real change in local communities.

This #GivingTuesday, UWFK collected donations for our work addressing education, food insecurity, and homelessness. These small acts of kindness, when added together, create real change for working families in the Florida Keys! Throughout the year, United Way of the Florida Keys contributes over $150,000 in grants to local nonprofits and distributes thousands of pounds of school supplies to public and charter schools throughout Monroe County.

Another way UWFK gave back this #GivingTuesday was by volunteering. UWFK staff spent the afternoon volunteering with one of our local nonprofit partner agencies, Marathon Recreation Center, in Marathon. Staff and students worked together on crafts projects and daily homework assignments, helping ensure everyone’s academic needs were met first while still having an opportunity for fun!

Donations to support the work of Marathon Rec Center and all of UWFK’s local nonprofit partner agencies are accepted year-round. If you would like to make a donation, you can access our online giving portal by clicking the “Donate” button at http://www.keysunitedway.org. Thank you for helping us in our mission to become the leader in community caring!

angry cartman

 

I don’t need anger management.  I need people to stop pissing me off!

[.25 Caliber Pistol] While out walking along the edge of a pond just outside of The Villages with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open.  She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.  If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today!  Just one shot to my estranged husband’s knee cap was all it took. The ‘gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace.  It’s one of the best pistols in my collection!  Plus the amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible.
bill-phone-sex
[Terrorist Attack] As of Friday morning authorities were still not calling the California massacre a terrorist attack. I’m not an authority, but I know that when a Muslim kills innocents and has bombs in his garage—it’s a terrorist attack. “Oh, they were such nice, quiet people.” Bull s**t, they were Muslims, weren’t they? Preaching love and peace out of one side of their mouths while hate and jihad spew from the other. If they are not doing the killing, they are sympathizing with them.
get-a-lifeI just ordered a Life Alert bracelet so that if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.
[Marathon Journal] Larry Shaffer’s Mayor Senmartin interview.

  1. How’s Mayor going for you? “So far, so good. I haven’t broken anything yet.” Contacts, pose for photos for a city events
    (What is the balance between the city and family?) “Balance is always the hard part. My time belongs to my family, after that the city, then if there is any left, I get it. lol. I am writing this at 11pm.”2. How is Marathon’s future short term and long term? “The things I spoke about during the campaign weren’t for the campaign. They are things that I feel strongly about and am working towards solutions for. In no particular order, sewer issues, workforce housing, vacation rentals and a marine port of entry.”3. How’s business doing in Marathon? (You can mention your business as comparison.) “I speak to many business owners around town and I hear a lot of the same things, business is good. There doesn’t seem to be an “off season” anymore. People are here all year. My store still sees a slow down during the summer months (I am not complaining). But most stay busy all the time.”

    4. What are Marathon’s best features? “Marathon’s best feature is it’s community. Close knit and friendly. But our best physical feature has to be our beach. I have had so many people tell me how much they loved Sombrero Beach. It is truly one of the nicest in the keys.”

    5. What are the top three problem? Share your solutions. “I mentioned them earlier. We are working on improving the sewer system daily. We have a $17 million grant from the state to make upgrades to our system. On housing, we commissioned a study from FIU to assess our needs and we are reviewing that now. I plan to call a workshop to review the findings and make a plan to address them. Options include building housing ourselves, partnering with a non-profit such as Habitat for Humanity or the Middle Keys Community Land Trust, or leasing property to a developer to build the required housing. These things will be discussed when we have the workshop. I hope to get a lot of public input as well. On the topic of vacation rentals, I spoke with our lobbyists as well as the lawmakers when I was in Tallahassee recently. They understand our need for “home rule” on this matter. I am continuing to work with them to iron out a solution.”

    6. What about any Last thoughts? “As I write this we are coming off the Thanksgiving weekend and heading into the holiday season. I am thankful for my beautiful kids and fantastic wife for their support and sacrifices to give me the opportunity to be a part of Marathon’s future. I have learned in the past two years that you can’t make all the people happy all the time but if I can leave the city just a little bit better than it was when I started this, it will all be worth it. From me and mine to you and yours, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. It’s going to be a great new year!”

tech-support-india[Paris Climate Talks] A “premature superpower,” in the words of economics writer Martin Wolf. India is focused on both increasing its influence abroad and raising its living standards at home. Its per capita income is just $1,778. (The comparable figure for the US is $51,013; China’s is $6,050.) Even India’s wealthy are poorer than their counterparts in the West; of the nation’s richest 10 percent, a third live in households with no refrigerators. Worse, some 300 million Indians—a quarter of the population—have no electricity at all. Nearly as many have only intermittent access to it. Most of these people use kerosene for lighting and cook their food on wood or dung fires. The smoke kills about 1.3 million Indians a year, according to the World Health Organization.
No one can spin a yarn like an Irish old lady. This is blow-coffee-out-your-nose funny at the end. Video
clothes dryer spin washing machine rocking gently

[Washer and Dryer For Sale] Like new. Whirlpool high efficiency washer. Frigidaire dryer used one and a half years in single person household. $500 for the pair Please contact 321-514-8834 between 8a.m. – 4p.m.

Anybody got the scoop on “Fish” on Saddlebunch Key (last it was Kaya)? I hear it’s the same guy who bought The Wharf and Looe Key Tiki resort. If that’s true, then we’re left with Boondocks and the Grouper as independently owned eateries.
gangster shoot tommy gun[“New Italian restaurant”] Why do people come to the Keys? It’s Sun, local seafood, nature, history, and fun—not Italian food or Maine lobster (Yes, you Kiki’s). That terrible marketing idea reminded me of years ago when some dude opened a Chicago gangster themed restaurant on Duval St with machine guns and gangsters painted on the dark scary walls. What was he thinking? It was obvious to all why he went out of business immediately. People down here don’t want thick, heavy Italian food. We want fresh, light, colorful, imaginative food that’s different than anyone else’s.
Neem oil is a natural insecticide (active ingredient: azadirachtin) which stops white flies, mealy bugs, ants and more insects from feeding and developing.  Neem oil also has fungicidal properties which will help against powdery mildew, root rot, Septoria and gray mold. It is considered an organic control, it has a low toxicity factor for humans, animals and beneficial bugs. When you use this as a foliar spray, test a small part of your plant first to see if it’s well tolerated. If it works, spray your leaves lightly at night so the leaves absorb the oil overnight. Link
an_Spaghetti_fork[“Bella Luna Italian restaurant”] Huh? Again? Another Aye-talian restaurant? Anybody remember Zaza’s? Who comes here thinking people visit the Keys to eat pasta except a pasta-eater from another place. More importantly, where are they getting the seafood for the seafood dishes? Do they serve “seafood” from Sysco, Atlantic seafood, Chic Fillets? It’s definitely not coming from the near-shore waters. Nope not me, I am not stopping for genuine NY Italian food.
The single best thing we can do for the planet is to keep our stuff in use longer. This simple act of extending the life of our garments through proper care and repair reduces the need to buy more over time—thereby avoiding the CO2 emissions, waste output and water usage required to build it. Link
rainbow-crosswalks66k] The Monroe County Sheriff’s Office is once again criticizing state transportation officials regarding a controversial Upper Keys crosswalk following a crash last week. Sheriff Rick Ramsay has opposed the Mile Marker 99.8 crosswalk placed by the Florida Department of Transportation since its installation in 2014. Three vehicles crashed causing minor injuries on Nov. 27, according to the sheriff’s office. Last December, John D. Hemingway, 56, of Lexington, North Carolina, was attempting to cross U.S. 1 at the crosswalk and was killed.
I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, “It’s pronounced ‘quiche’, dear.”
phonograph 45s

 

Ever wonder what a tortilla sounds like on a record player? Video

A four word synopsis of people: All about the money.
ftr from the right 75h[FTR] The San Bernardino terrorist attack has the left all a-twitter, they’re making spittle spraying demands to “do something” about guns. Their magical thinking ranges from banning all guns to requiring “enhanced” background checks. Their reasoning is absurd.

There is no law that can even be contemplated that would have prevented any of the spate of recent mass casualty shootings. (continued on the National Politics page …)

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