Saturday, August 8, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Wednesdays and Saturdays

Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com
(Ed: Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)

national politics an(Click here)
sea-shots-4Adventure is about what we do; not what we plan, strategize or dream about. Adventure begins with “what ifs” and “why nots.” “What if I were to step out to chase that dream? Why not take the first steps and see what happens? When we step through the doorway of adventure our life is suddenly worth the living. And we experience life as it was meant to be. Don’t spend your life collecting other peoples postcards.
Below is a link to a short video of a Pakistani pile driving construction technique.  Notice that the pile driving becomes effective when the extra man jumps on.  Very finely tuned! The chant is also catchy.Now, let’s analyze the Engineering here: 6 men x 180 lbs. = 1080 lbs. static force Jumping up and down will create a 3 times dynamic effect = 3240 lbs./jump = 1.6-ton thumps if the pile is tapered to 2 in. x 2 in., cross section at the tip =  sq. in.  So, dynamic press “Add a man” feature will increase to 950 psi, so buy the option!

Increase the chant and dynamic force goes up to 5 times to bring maximum pressure/thump to 1600 psi for a 7-man team. Quite good, and it will penetrate hard clay and sandy soil but not hard rock.

We figure the foreman is the guy on the tambourine. You’ll probably watch this twice because you won’t want to believe your eyes the first time. Video

food-girl

[Myth or Science Test] You are what you eat. Link

The proper way to use social media.
1. Read the story
2. Comment on the story
3. Don’t skip No. 1
kick computer

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, August 8, 10 am at the Senior Center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events

That post from the canal tax guy was almost laughable. Although his post did have some good suggestions about dumping, he doesn’t realize that ridding the canal system water by dilution into nearby clean, free-flowing natural channels would do no harm at all. Then he seems to get delusional when he begins commenting about having to spend any money. He actually said that the canal restoration efforts are more about a creating a canal-maintenance tax for all canal-front homes than about improving the quality of water! Personally, I hope that the canals get clean and healthy again.
drug-dealers2
I don’t usually drink beer, but when I do I tolerate boring strangers.
burning_mirror_solar2For years I have howled about Key West and Florida Keys roofs not being covered with solar panels. A number of times I have promoted covering Mt. Trashmore (Key West’s abandoned city dump) with solar panels. Solar Richard, who knew how to do it, came through Key West and tried to get the city to build a solar farm in the ocean. The only thing about Key West’s electrical power growing greener every day is Keys Energy’s bank account.
Chase Visa card charges 30% extra for overseas use. Discover Card charges 0!
flies stinky feet

Frank Zappa – Stink Foot

HaikuPaper cuts
It’s a tree’s
Final revenge
salvation9[“Men wrote the Bible about forty years after the death of Jesus“] The bible’s book of Joshua was written approximately 625 BCE and finished with Revelations in about 100 CE. You say that the bible shouldn’t be treated as gospel? The books of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John ARE the gospel! Please don’t post anything further until you have at least a rudimentary grasp of the subject matter. You’ve embarrassed yourself enough for one day
[“Crosswalks”] If you read what I wrote you would understand the point of it was to cut back pollution and the dangers of mechanical failures of vehicles versus sandals. Why I bother to try and help these stupid Keys I don’t know!
fast food junk

Diet menus are needed in the Keys where we can order a la cart, a decent breakfast, lunch or dinner that is not 90,000 calories of grease, fats and fillers and reasonably priced per item. Any restaurant that has such a optional menu is sure to make money if they do not over charge and offer quality cooking. Probably never happen though.

[Legalize It] I don’t care who is going to reform immigration, who is for the Iran nuclear deal, gun rights or what religion they are, I’m going to vote for whoever has the guts to finally remove marijuana from a schedule 1 drug classification (“no currently accepted medical use”). For crissakes, 23 states plus Washington DC have legalized the medical or recreational use of marijuana. Talk about the federal government interfering with our private lives, even when validated by state laws! No weed reform, no vote from me.
African-slaves

African U-pick ’em slave farm.

Amazon has its first real competitor in the new Jet.com. Check out the five ways to maximize savings at Jet. Link
Dubai-Tennis

 

[Tennis in Dubai] Probably the only place with a breeze.

Last week Jersey was in the middle of a heat wave and the A/C in my car died. Now, a week (and $850) later, the A/C is working great again and the heat wave is over. Murphy’s Law is irrefutable. And life goes on.
Chopped-32-3-window-Killer!

 

Chopped 1932 three window.

[Crooks] Former Monroe County administrator and a federal courthouse security officer accused of selling felons guns out of their Big Pine Key store pleaded not guilty in federal court Friday. Thomas Joseph Willi, 51, of Summerland Key, and Jarvis Nelson Osorio, 35, of Key West, face one count of conspiracy to commit firearms trafficking, two counts of firearms sales to a prohibited person, one count of illegal sale of firearms by a federally licensed dealer.
Lux-Kebab-Soap
[Crook] A Big Pine Key fisherman arrested in October for lobster fishing with hundreds of illegal traps was ordered Thursday to surrender 400 traps, effectively cutting his fishing capabilities in half, according to court records. David Lee Boggs, 51, was ultimately charged with more than 100 counts of misdemeanor fishing w i t h o u t proper tags after state wildlife officers and the Monroe County State Attorney’s Office uncovered more wrongdoing after his arrest, said Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Boggs was initially found to be fishing with about 100 untagged traps, but later confessed to Florida Fish and Wildlife officers that he had more in the water that needed to be removed, bringing the final total to more than 500 illegal traps, records state. Boggs agreed to surrender 400 of his trap certificates in a plea agreement with prosecutors on Thursday in a move that spared him any jail time. ~BY ADAM LINHARDT Key West Citizen
feeder9

 

[Thieving Bird Solution] I have this feeder which shuts off the openings to the bird food when a squirrel or heavy bird such as a dove rests on the ledge. It works perfectly.

[Crooks] Didn’t the Taxpayers of Monroe County pass an extension of the 1 cent Infrastructure sales tax worded that the funds were for a complete and fully funded sewer system? and after that sewer system funding other projects as appropriate?? Now the reason the Nuevo Gangsters of Three are attempting, thru their lackey-FKAA, to extort private property to install and run the turd grinders is they, the n g of three, don’t want to use this tax money to spend around $1600.00/ea for a traffic bearing cover and supply electricity; they did it on Grassy Key-look as you drive past.

Instead those three commissioners voted to take the earmarked sewer funds, $14,000,000 of it, and give it to the Florida DOT to repair the FDOT’s bridge. Now lest we forget this bridge is foot traffic access to a City of Marathon’s tourists attraction and would you believe that 2 of the 3 commissioners that voted this $14,000,000 gift to FDOT live in Marathon? Tell me it isn’t so! And we keep re electing them.

giraffe dress

Who would kill a giraffe? Link

[Crooks] Corrupt third world governments are, unfortunately, still somewhat commonplace. I recently became aware of a sad situation that epitomizes the actions of such governments and the impact third world governments can have on its citizens.  This third world government initiated a public works project whose intent was to provide fundamental public health services and address a deteriorating environmental situation.  Instead of following the laws of the land, this government chose to proceed with the project by following its own agenda.

This third world government intentionally misled the citizens on numerous occasions regarding the public works project.  Fake documents were created, public notices were not provided to the citizens and misinformation regarding project compliance was published on numerous occasions.  Although public funds were used, the public works project pandered to the government’s more wealthy class of citizens and discriminated against its less wealthy citizens by providing a superior public works system to the wealthy class.   The less fortunate citizens were forced to accept an inferior system at a greater individual cost to each citizen regardless of the citizen’s ability to pay for it. Additionally, some of the public works funds were siphoned off for non-related projects – again – without regard to the financial capabilities of the government’s less affluent citizens.

At the end of the day, due to the actions by the third world government, the public works project is not completed, the appearance of massive fraud, waste and abuse has occurred and, if anything, the project – due to non-compliance with the laws of the land – appears to have created additional public health concerns as well as an environmental mess worse than before the government started the public works project.

I sure am glad nothing like this can ever happen in the United States of America.

stripper pole

 

Pole dancing should be an Olympic event. Video

[Crooks and Jerks] Officers Mattson and Plussa were on water patrol on the ocean side of the Whale Harbor Channel when they saw a woman jump off a small boat and attempt to swim towards an inflatable air mattress that was floating nearby. It quickly became evident that the woman was having trouble swimming. The officers saw the operator of the small vessel circling approximately 200 yards away from the woman however, the operator was not demonstrating any urgency to go help the struggling swimmer so the officers rushed to the woman’s aid. The officers then pulled alongside the woman’s vessel and saw a bucket full of empty beer cans on the deck. Officer Mattson then noticed the operator of the vessel reacting in a sluggish manner and had a moderate smell of an alcoholic beverage coming from his person. The operator agreed to perform seated sobriety tasks which led Officer Mattson to detect signs of impairment. The subject was subsequently arrested and transported to jail.

Lieutenant Haney and Officer Hein were on state water patrol in the Long Key area when they conducted a boating safety inspection on a suspicious vessel. During the boating safety inspection, it was determined that the HIN had been altered and did not match the paperwork assigned. A constructive seizure was placed on the vessel and the operator was cited for failing to apply for a title within 30 days of purchase.

Lieutenant Haney and Officer Hein were on state water patrol in the Lower Matecumbe area when they identified several individuals actively diving with no dive flag. Upon contact, they determined the divers were lobstering and conducted a resource inspection. After further inspection, it was determined the 2 individuals were in possession of undersized lobster and did not have a proper measuring device in the water. The individuals were cited accordingly.

Lieutenant Haney and Officer Hein were on state water patrol in the Islamorada area when they conducted a boating safety inspection on a large offshore fishing vessel. When asked about fish on board, the captain claimed to have a “good eye” and there was no need to measure the fish. Upon inspection of the catch, the captain was found to be in possession of undersize dolphin and was cited accordingly.

Officer Hein was on land patrol in the Islamorada area when he noticed several divers getting out of the water under a bridge. Officer Hein conducted a resource inspection and found the divers to be in possession of undersized lobster and they did not have a measuring device in the water. The divers were cited accordingly.

Officer Hein was on land patrol in the Islamorada area when he identified an individual fishing from land. Officer Hein conducted a resource inspection and found the individual did not have a valid fishing license. The individual said that no fish had been caught. There were kids nearby that said otherwise. Upon gaining consent to search the cooler in the back of a vehicle, the individual was found to be in possession of undersized gray mangrove snapper and was also over the limit of gray mangrove snapper. The individual was cited accordingly.

Lieutenant Haney and Officer Hein were on state water patrol in the Matecumbe area when they conducted a vessel stop. During the boating safety and resource inspection, the operator appeared to be more nervous than normal. Several safety and licensing violations were found during the safety inspection. During the resource inspection, the individuals on board were found to be in possession of over the bag limit of lobster by one. Upon further inspection of the vessel, the officers found 27 lobsters in the bilge area of the vessel. The individuals were arrested and transported to a detention facility for possession of over the bag limit of lobster.

Lieutenant Haney and Officer Hein were on water patrol shortly after dark and stopped a vessel without an all-around white light.  During the boating safety inspection they observed signs of impairment from the operator and conducted a BUI investigation.  The man was determined to be impaired and was arrested for BUI.

Lieutenant Haney was en-route to water patrol and stopped to get fuel at a local gas station, where he observed a man driving erratically in the parking lot.  The man exited his vehicle, approached Lieutenant Haney and appeared to be very intoxicated.  The man had a plastic cup of liquor in the center console of his car and refused field sobriety tasks.  He was arrested for DUI and refused to submit to a breath test.  The man had 2 prior DUIs in Florida and 2 prior refusals along with numerous other alcohol related arrests.

FWC officers in the Keys mounted an operation called “Bugging Out” where officers focused on the illegal harvest of Florida spiny lobster from artificial habitat. During the two day lobster mini season officers staged themselves next to already identified sites with unmarked boats outfitted with high powered image stabilizing binoculars. The officers viewed the violators harvest the lobster from the artificial habitat sites. While the harvesters were focusing on catching lobster, the officers would creep closer and closer finally deploying a diver in plain clothes armed with a net and tickle stick to view the activity underwater if deemed necessary. As a result of the operation 26 notice to appear in court were issued to include 33 misdemeanor charges, 1 federal citation, and 6 infractions.

Officers Plussa and Mattson were patrolling the Indian Key Fill Boat Ramp at night when a male subject stopped his car and approached their trucks on foot in a suspicious and threatening manner. Officer Mattson developed a dialogue with the subject and asked for his driver’s license.  A records check revealed that the suspect had a suspended license and two prior convictions for the same offense. Officer Mattson arrested him for felony driving while license suspended with knowledge – third offense. Officer Plussa approached the suspects’ car and observed the second suspect seated in the passenger seat next to multiple half-consumed beer and whiskey bottles. The second suspect did not have a valid driver’s license either. When she provided the vehicle registration, Officer Plussa observed multiple loose white pills in the center console. Upon further investigation, Officer Plussa determined the pills to be narcotics and arrested the second suspect for felony possession of a controlled substance. Both suspects were booked into the Plantation Key Jail without incident

perko2

[Crooks] To prevent the lower unit crooks from stealing yours keep your engine in the down position so bad guys won’t be able to remove it. To further safeguard the lower unit, replace your Perko battery switch with one of the newer ones that have a lock built in. That way they crooks can’t raise your engine to remove the lower unit. Link

Guys, when a woman is mad, just tell her that she is overreacting. She’ll realize you ‘re right and she will calm right down. (Let me know how that works out for you, ok?)
Give-It-To-Keith

 

For every cigarette you smoke, God takes an hour away from your life and gives it to Keith Richards

While reading the obituaries I always look to see the person’s life achievement and feel bad for the old lady whose achievement was playing duplicate bridge and the other lady whose was being a mother. That’s their accomplishments.
No-Elephants
[Minimum Wage] McDonald’s makes $59,178,080 a day!
award9[Fishing Tournament] Grab up one of the last known bargains in the Keys! Only 70 spots are available in the Rotary Club of Key Largo’s fishing tournament, with fees this year still only $125 per angler and $50 for ages 17 and under.

Registration includes an awards party catered by the Key Largo Conch House; a performance, moisture-wicking t-shirt; a Friday night captain’s party with Conch House appetizers, and the opportunity to win unique trophies for the largest redfish, snook and trout caught during the weekend.

If you’re not a backcountry a-”fish”-cionado, you can show your support by buying a $40.00 ticket to the awards party with four course dinner featuring your choice of macadamia hogfish, Italian-style beef tenderloin, or a vegan coconut curry rice bowl (dairy and gluten-free). You’ll enjoy the Conch House’s famous key lime coconut cake, and one of the most impressive silent auction offerings in the Upper Keys. The event will be held on Sunday, September 27 at 6 pm at the Elks Club in Tavernier.

Tournament proceeds support vocational scholarships for Upper Keys residents of all ages, and Take Stock in Children scholarships for financially-challenged, college-bound Upper Keys youth. The Florida legislature doubles every dollar donated (so a $500 donation becomes $1,000 in scholarship money). Last year’s Take Stock in Children Backcountry Challenge raised $36,026 for local students.

Visit www.keylargorotary.com to download a registration form and mail your check payable to Rotary Club of Key Largo, PO Box 252, Key Largo, FL 33037. Dinner tickets at the door will be $45 each

cat-bike

 

Face it, this cat is cooler than you.

I think senility is going to be a fairly smooth transition for me.
magnify glass searchWe’re looking for a long term rental, lived in the Big Pine Key area since 1993, no pets no kids, just me and my husband. We have great references, clean freak. The property we were was flipped and we have to be out by Oct 1. We’re looking in the lower Keys. Please contact me. bdeutsch4949@hotmail.com
Kids in kindergarten through fifth grade are invited to join the free, fun-filled Discovery Saturday at the Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center (35 East Quay Road, Key West) on Saturday, August 15th from 10:00 am to 11:00 am. Learn some cool facts about sharks, see how sharks find food, and play a game of Shark on the Prowl! For more information contact 305-809-4750. Space is limited, so please call to register.

Learn more about the Florida Keys Eco-Discovery Center here.

charlie chaplin deadIn 1978, Charlie Chaplin’s body was stolen and held for ransom. His widow refused to pay ransom demands of £400,000 because “Charlie would have thought it ridiculous.” The body was found 11 weeks later.
Submit anything of a positive nature, unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com

national politics an(Click here)