(Saturday, January 12, 2013. The Coconut Telegraph is not published on Saturdays)

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(Ed: The banner has been re-sized due to an operator mishap and will be fixed soon. We’re late today due to a cloud burst. Even the cloud isn’t foolproof.)

[Homeless] I would like to submit to you a link to an amazing, true story that my wife and I experienced recently in the Keys.

Once this journey was over, I decided to document it so we could remember it for years to come, but then as I began to write, my creative spirit took over and the result was a heart-warming short story rather than a chronology of events.   I could (and should) extend this into a book because I barely scratched the surface on revealing some of the characters we met along the way, pun intended.  I could write paragraphs and in some cases chapters on some of these amazing, quirky homeless people that we built a relationship with over a few Key West visits.   I hope you (and your readers) find it engaging and fulfilling, should you choose to publish it in the Coconut Telegraph!    Below is the link to the article as well as a brief into (italics) to the story.  ~Jim Derochea

Homeless No More: The Long Journey Home

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[Cop Cars]  Police departments in other cities have used compact cars for years. The savings has been immense.

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My husband and I eloped to Key West 36 years ago today. So many moons ago.

[Invasive Species]  Authorities report that Jersey women are the latest addition to the invasive species list.  Similar to the Lion Fish and the Humpback Grouper, Jersey women have a voracious appetite, especially for fast foods, senior citizen early bird specials and 2 for 1 meal discounts.  Most at risk are the All-You-Can-Eat buffets where they have been seen decimating the roast  beef carving station, the omelet bar and the fresh shrimp platters like a locust in a wheat field.  They are known to be very aggressive to restaurant servers and fast food counter personnel often frightening them with loud grunting noises while demanding additional portions at no charge.  They can easily be identified by the 10X size muu-muu, gold lame’ slippers, carrying a purse the size of a small car, reeking of cheap perfume and wearing the entire collection of Mary Kay cosmetics.  They are usually accompanied by a short, ! balding, brow beaten man wearing black dress shoes and knee socks, plaid shorts, a Hawaiian print shirt and a baseball cap that says “I Love Atlantic City.”  Seen together they are known as the Hacckensack two.  Experts advise that this year is expected to be busier than usual as they have been spotted on the move southward.  Persons are warned to never approach a Jersey Woman, especially while feeding, but to report any sightings to local pest control experts.

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The world is filled with beautiful things that you probably stepped on while staring at your smartphone.

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an_neon redHello Deer Piners! The guys and girls over at Daddy Bones just want to say thanks to those of you that drove down the Keys from north of Sugarloaf! Especially the folks who told us you heard about us on the CT. Coming in mid March we are planning a monster party and BBQ contest with novice and Pro categories. Live music and give-aways. You will hear more on Conch Country FM and the CT in the near future. And remember if you have a cool ride or (our faves) big-truck-big-tires-gun-rack-in-the-back-window please come on down on any Thursday evening and hangout (Ed, hope to see you again soon too) Oh y’all feel free to call those Yankees over at Charlie Macs and tell them you ain’t the best till you prove it! Maybe they will come by and compete for the best barbecue.

 [“3 Key West Police cars on Big Pine Key”] At 5 days a week commuting for all 3 cars to and fro Key West totals about 43,000 miles worth of gas a year that the City has to pay extra for them to take their cars home. If I paid taxes in Key West I’d be pissed at the waste, not to mention the extra wear and tear on the cars.

Is it true that your wife talks to herself when she is alone?
I don’t know. I wasn’t there.

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Pineapple plantations introduced early in the Keys. Link

St. Peter’s is having a taffy pulling contest. I thought the sign said St. Taffy’s was having … oh never mind!

I changed my insurance 3 time yesterday —now they owe me $347 a month—-meaning they’re full of crap that each one can save you $450 a month.

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Cereal killers should just switch to bacon & eggs –and mass murderers should just change religions and go to a service

[Teachers with Guns] What will happen if a kid goes bonkers and starts shooting up a school? What teacher do you know has the guts to shoot a kid? Even in hard core inter-city war zones, teachers would balk, panic, and maybe shoot the wrong kids.

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[Cheetah] It’s a good thing cats don’t smell fear. Video

Gas ranges do not always work when the electrical power goes off. I have a gas range with electronic ignition (no pilot light.) Will not work when the power goes off. You can light the burners with a match but it is dangerous and difficult.

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[Murder for Hire] Ok guys in the FBI and DEA, time to take a hard look at the proposed private Marathon Port of Entry plan by Dick Ramsay. All the local, state and fed investigators should take a deep look at all the players trying to get Marathon a port of entry. And that list also includes former commissioner Mario Di Genaro  his bodguard Ralph Luganano (sp?), current commissioner David Rice, and soon to be retired and now feathering his nest for future financial gain commissioner George Neugent. But even for the laziest investigators, the easiest trail to follow is Ralph’s, and by extension Mario’s. This whole hit thing smells like a typical mob,crime family mentality operation. So, how well did/does Ralph and Mario frequent and socialize with Zecca? Did/does Raplh/Mario also know or talk to the now infamous informant? These are questions the alphabet soup guys should be looking at. There’s so much mingling in Marathon of money, egos. 

A crime story writer could not invent a story better than real life Marathon. But unlike a fiction crime story, the only element missing in the Zecca story is sex. Where’s the jilted boyfriend, who’s former girlfriend is now with some other man (in this case, possibly the Schmitt character plays the part of the new boyfriend. And the former boyfriend role goes to – oh lets say – Ralphy boy, and in his typical kill ’em mentality, he wants the new boyfriend iced.

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[Comic Juggler] Michael Davis at Ford’s Theater. Video

Two guys from Nordern Visconsin are drinking in a bar. Ole says, “Didja know dat Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a night?” “Aw crap,” says Sven, “and I just joined the VFW!”

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Numbers games devised to aid people with dyscalculia (number blindness). Link

Kudos to the driver who ran over the worthless invasive iguana. I try to run over them, when it gets cold and they move slowly, every chance I get. PS, they taste like chicken.

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[Gas v. Electric] How come “no more cast iron cookware” if I get an electric stove? Don’t they work on electric stoves?

 [Cop Cars]  Police departments in other cities use compact cars for years. The savings has been immense.

Crab sandwiches with horseradish sauce. Link

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[Electric v Gas Range] The absolute best thing about a gas range besides having more even temperature control is that when the electric goes out you can still cook with it!

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[Christians Need Not Apply] This graphic shows the 50 worst countries to live in if you’re a Christian. Link

I spent my whole youth wishing I were older, now that I am –it sucks!

[More bar wisdom] You are the product of both four billion years of evolution and three minutes of drunken rubbing.

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[Potty Humor] Restroom signs from around the world. Link

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 Wounded Iraq and Afghanistan Vets cycling to the Keys. That would be a great idea to greet them at the light. Stand up America for those who can’t. Link

alice-paul[Alice Paul 19th Century Activists] On this date in 1885, feminist Alice Paul was born in Moorestown, N.J., to a Quaker family which believed in the equality of the sexes. Paul earned a master’s degree from the University of Pennsylvania in economics and sociology, then won a fellowship to study in England. She took courses at the University of Birmingham and London School of Economics and worked in the British settlement movement. She was thrilled by the militant suffrage activism of the Women’s Social and Political Union, led by the Pankhursts. Paul was arrested and imprisoned several times in England, joined in brick-throwing at government buildings, and in hunger strikes. Returning to New Jersey in 1910, she lectured in favor of adopting the British militancy. That year she stopped speaking to Quaker groups after her views were repudiated by them, and transferred her allegiance to pure feminism.

Teaming up with New York friend Lucy Burns, Paul talked the National American Woman Suffrage Association into letting them take over its congressional committee, with help from Jane Addams, in 1912. They set up shop in Washington, D.C., organizing a historic parade of suffragists on March 3, 1913, upstaging the inauguration of President Wilson. Peacefully parading women were attacked by a violent mob, which created huge headlines, and reinvigorated the suffrage campaign. Throughout WWI, Paul and supporters picketed the White House, their placards asking: “How Long Must Women Wait for Liberty?” When mobs attacked, police arrested more than 100 suffragists, many of whom were sentenced to notorious workhouses. Paul and other hunger-strikers were forcefed, and she was even transferred to a psychiatric hospital. Public outrage forced President Wilson to unconditionally release the women. Demonstrations continued, and Congress finally enacted the suffrage amendment, ratified by the states in 1920. Paul went to law school, earning three degrees, then began promoting the Equal Rights Amendment, which she called the Lucretia Mott Amendment. Many women’s groups of the time, such as the League of Women Voters and Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom, opposed the ERA on the grounds that women needed protective legislation. Iron-willed Paul never gave up. The amendment was first introduced into Congress in 1923. Paul lobbied for it in every successive session of Congress. In 1972, it finally passed. The combined forces of the tax-exempt religious lobbies of the Roman Catholic, Southern Baptist and Mormon churches defeated the ratification process in 1982. Her story inspired the HBO film, “Iron-Jawed Angels.” 

“Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.”—Alice Paul

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[I Do Not Support the Troops] Why those who say “I support the Troops” really don’t. Link

[Gas v Electric] Yeah the glass top looks nice and neat and clean as long as you don’t use it. All it takes is one use on one burner and you have to get out the cleaner and scrub-a-dub-dub to make it sparkle again. If you use one burner at breakfast and don’t feel like cleaning it then, there it is looking dirty all day and dirty when you go to cook dinner. Get a new gas stove!

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donut-police[Lethal Donut] As a result of all the recent school shootings, there has been a public outcry for legislation requiring an armed police officer present in all schools. Our congress quickly responded with a positive vote but it was immediately vetoed by the oval office due to a conflict of interest. One of the requirements of the Policemen’s Benevolent Association is there must be a Dunkin’ Donuts and Krispy Kreme counter available during school hours. It seems this change will oppose all the steps in the First Lady’s “Let’s Move!” campaign to fight childhood obesity. The fear of these children cutting class to stuff themselves with glazed and sugary donuts is extremely unsafe. On the positive note: stocks are soaring at both these organizations due to job creation hopes. Rumor is that Starbucks is also vying for an outlet and the legalize pot lobby is also getting on board to help pass the legislation as quickly as possible.

Monkey feast in Bangkok. Link
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When guns are outlawed only outlaws and smart citizens will have non traceable guns. Take your chances with 12 instead of just 1.

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piggies11[Three Little piggies] I was at the bar the other night and heard three girls with an overabundance of flesh, talking at the bar. Their accent appeared to be from New Jersey, so I approached and asked, “Hello, are you three lassies from New Jersey?”
One of them screeched, “It’s Big Pine Key, you asshole!”
So I apologized and replied, “I am so sorry.  Are you three piggies from BPK?”
And…that’s the last thing I remember.

Bizarrely, the Keys never disappoint. There’s even a bank robber with underwear on his head. Link

Confused about fishing rules? There’s an app for that. Link

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[Gas v Electric] My smooth top electric stove won’t boil water either – well, to be truthful, it will boil eventually but it takes about 40 minutes on high on any of the three smaller burners. The fourth burner is just as another person described – don’t turn your back on it! The ‘hot’ burner just keeps getting hotter and hotter really quick. Yes, you can boil water quickly on this one burner but it’s larger than most tea kettles or sauce pans. I hate this stove! Keep your gas stove.

an waveingThe Human Race is going through it’s death throes.  One can see this with the now routine  mass shootings,  the civil wars with their killing fields, the fat people , the income inequality, the global warming,  the growing urban slums, the right wing lunatic gun nut fringe that has grown way bigger than a fringe, sea level rise, ignorant students,  welfare and healthcare fraud,  the sociopathic young people,  the bank fraud,  the waste of public funds on armaments, illegal immigration,  too many people and not enough jobs due to technology,  the ultra violence in entertainment and our acceptance of it,  the  ready availability of any kind of porn you can think of and some you can’t and our acceptance of all that too,  the end of social mores,  soaring divorce rates for those who bother to marry,  the denying of scientific findings, etc, etc.  Well, tomorrow is another day,  have a good one.

Does anyone have suggestions on how to keep douche bags off my baits? Thanks for any suggestions. 

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[Crooks] I love it and can’t wait for this all to come out. Marathon cocaine trafficker lobbied for port of entry, held a fundraiser for our new sheriff Rick Ramsay, donated the maximum amount to Rick Ramsay and Dick Ramsay’s campaigns. The first person Zecca’s wife calls after his arrest is Dick Ramsay. I’ll bet our new sheriff and his daddy are nervous about what he is going to say to the Feds. Wow! 

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[Gas v Cook Tops] I love all the pro and cons you guys sent in, truly. I had both and say to each his or her own. 

The Big Pine Bocce folks have a new website, buy you can always fine it on the Continuing Events page at bigpinekey.com. Link

What are they doing across the road from Summerland Hardware behind the gate?  Sure look suspicious! Any very large trucks going in there at night?

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The person in the Avenues may have hit that iguana on purpose. They did a study at Clemson with fake turtles and found that there were times that drivers swerved to hit them. People’s basic tendencies tend to come out when they get behind a wheel. Link

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[Privacy Lost] Should it not be illegal for a company that makes a profit from a database with information about you, both personal and from public records, to have to share that profit with you? Example, you cannot use any movie stars name in your company or personal ad without a contract with them to pay them. You cannot associate your name with a politician to gain power or place without permission and payment. You cannot be in a TV Street ad unless you sign a waver and tell them you are not an Actors Guild member. So why the hell can they make money off you and your data without paying you? 

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 [“A well-regulated militia“] When that was written into the Bill of Rights in 1791 we didn’t have a standing army or navy. That clause is irrelevant today.

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[Revolt!] There exists no authority in the executive branch to create an Executive Order regarding the regulation of firearms. The President cannot unilaterally violate the 2nd amendment. 

None of you are under any obligation to follow such a dictate from a wannabe tyrant. Indeed it is your duty as a citizens to engage in civil disobedience by refusing to follow any such order which violates the constitution.

[Obama like Hitler Only Black] The 2nd amendment guaranteed ability for us to be armed. Obama is starting with assault weapons and as Hitler did will document all weapons. Then they will be taken away. Don’t ever admit you have a gun in your house. This country needs to get new government. How did we let this happen? Why can’t we find capable leadership now? Is this the best we can do? Remember Thomas Jefferson and the real leaders? They actually cared about America. It is not happening now.

No-Right-Turn[FTR’s Week in Review] FTR says, “…a scalpel can be a life saver or a life taker. So can a gun. It all depends on the individual holding the scalpel or the gun.”

Can someone be taken out from a great distance with a scalpel? Can you mow down dozens of people in under a minute’s time with a scalpel? Or a knife, hammer or whatever, “weapon” the right wants to claim a gun is as dangerous as? Another of FTR’s strawman fallacies. 

FTR says, “Adam Lanza, Newtown Conn murderer.  Registered  Democrats outnumber Republicans by about a  2-1 ratio in Connecticut.  The odds are that the Lanza family are Democrats.”

Odds are, FTR? I thought you only dealt in facts? There’s a saying about when you assume something… you make an ass out of you and me. But that’s not true here. There’s no “me” in this equation. 

FTR, if you believe that the Lanza family are Democrats, then what about your statement earlier in your post, “…To our Liberal friends, because a gun is similar in appearance to a military weapon, it must be banned.”

Get your head together, fella. One of these statements must be true: “The Lanzas live in Connecticut, so they must be Democrats.” or, “Democrats want to ban guns similar to military weaponry–even though that’s what the (allegedly Democrat) Lanza family owned.” Which is it? Your argument holds together like a dandelion on a gusty day.

FTR says, “James E. Holmes, “The Joker” is reported to be an avid supporter of the Occupy Wall Street Movement and of the Occupy Black Bloc.” Reported by no reputable source, you mean—aside from right-leaning tabloids who are anxious to link “Occupy Wall Street” with “Black Bloc” OWS completely disavows the Black Bloc–both its tactics and methods. Also, there is no proof James Holmes has ties to either: aside from those right-leaning sites and tabloids. The right wants to taint OWS by linking it with Black Bloc and James Holmes into an unholy trinity. FTR is peddling “Pachyderm Poop”, (as a poster brilliantly countered to FTR’s oft-blathered “Donkey Dung” yesterday.)

FTR says, “By the way, what follows proves nothing, but it is interesting: Jared Loughner, Tucson Az. mass murder was described by his peers as being a “left wing pot head”. His parents are both registered Democrats.”

If it proves nothing, then why say it? That’s right-wing spin for ya. Actually, Jared Loughner is a registered independent. And if his parents are Democrats, does that make them killers, too? Are you insinuating they raised him to gun down other democrats? What are you getting at?

FTR also claims, without a supporting link by the way, that “As of last Tuesday only 4 cable shows had more than 2 million viewers. FOX NEWS, O’Reilly had had 2,523,000 viewers, FOX NEWS, Baier had 2,049,000.  But 2,0108,000 viewers got their news from the COMEDY DAILY SHOW.  And 2,085,000 apparently got their news from MTV SNOOKIE.  It is depressing that nearly as many Americans get their news from a comedy show and from an MTV show. But it does explain a lot.”

A: People get their news from The Daily Show, because there are more news and facts in that one half-hour then there are in 24hrs of FOX News. Quite frankly, FOX News is the REAL comedy channel.

B: What the hell is an MTV SNOOKIE? There’s no MTV SNOOKIE News show. Just kinda shows you how out of touch FTR is. There is no news aside from music news on MTV, and Snookie has been yesterday’s news for a while now. But you know he probably just shakes his cane at the screen and complains about the scantily-clad women and rock & roll on “That MTV SNOOKIE CHANNEL!” he never watches but just hears about. I understand he still tries to call on his rotary phone to order his denture cream from the local apothecary by dialing on his rotary phone with the prefix, “KLondike 5-…”

FTR says, “We don’t need more gun control, it is counter productive to public safety.”  Impossible and downright silly. Let’s face facts, they are NOT going to take away anyone’s guns. To think that means you are ridiculously paranoid on the level of Howard Hughes. Are a few adjustments to gun control a bad thing? Who would it possibly hurt? Give me a scenario where some sensible gun control will cause actual real-life problems for anyone? The 2nd amendment was written when they used muskets. Just admit you want what you want and you don’t like the idea that anyone could tell you differently. Gun control–good. Clinging to your gun like it was crazy-glued to your genitals–not so good. The right has no problem regulating a woman’s uterus, but just don’t regulate their toys.

[Hitler] “This year will go down in history. For the first time a civilized nation will have full gun registration. Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient and the world will follow our lead into the future.” Adolph Hitler, 1935. 

Is Obama going to make history repeat itself? 

an_fence-sittingWhich side of the fence? If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test! 
If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. 
If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. 

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. 
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. 

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. 
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. 

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. 
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him. 

If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. 
Democrats demand that those they don’t like be shut down. 

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. 
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. 

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job

that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his. 

If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. 
A Democrat will delete it because he’s offended. 
Well, I forwarded it.

I wanted to let you know today I received my Fiscal Cliff Survival Pack from the White House. It contained a parachute, a ‘Obama Hope & Change’ bumper sticker, a ‘Bush’s Fault’ poster, a ‘Blame Boehner’ poster, a “Tax the Rich’ poster, an application for unemployment, an application for food stamps, a prayer rug, a letter of assignation of debt to my grandchildren and a machine to blow smoke up my ass. All directions were in Spanish. Keep an eye out. Yours should arrive soon.

[Captain Doom] The Lefties’ are really way out there, mentally and immaturely. Saying BO never mentioned confiscating your guns may be true, verbally, BUT what does it take for you dimwit demos to understand how the ruling class works? Can you not read history and how this playbook has been followed so many times it is rubber stamped into their minds? There are only two classes of people: those that take, and those who they take from PERIOD! There is no middle class and has been. The military are ONLY there to protect the takers.  Funny thing is, all the guns in the world will not stop the takers from taking. All they have to do is dumb you down to GIVING them what they want. Sound familiar you democrats you?!

The sad thing about the Australian Gun video is, it is a old video.  their world has fallen apart and their people are scared shitless of the criminals and invaders taking over completely. Friends who live in Melbourne say it is still safe to visit, but not for long! Scary!

I have not seen as many of the full figured NJ honeys, that is because Diesel is up and it costs to much for a flat bed hauler!

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Bradley Manning update. Support freedom of speech don’t forget him. Link

It appears as if our resident liberal mentor is confused, or as he says befuddled, I believe he is merely suffering from a massive attack of liberal propaganda while relegating F.T.R’s comments as a “diatribe” by the use of his eloquent  comments primarily  used to entertain folks at party time, yet he believes he is educating other members on the right with his extensive critique of the gentlemen’s post, like most pseudo intellectuals on the left he largely misses the point when it comes to capitalism and the workings of the free world, like so many of his stripe when one is successful he is more than likely to be branded by him and his merry band of self  absorbed souls with the word ” greedy” and by implication letting us know he and his hard working friends would never be smitten by such a malady, as they are above all such base emotions.  Any reasonable thinking person would question the use of what he calls safety nets, where did the money come from for these so called safety nets, instead of regaling us with his descriptive adjectives as to the sanity of certain posters, why doesn’t the gentlemen give us his thoughts on how he would work around the 16 trillion and rising at a record pace Nat. debt or should we just ignore that and concentrate more on his beloved safety nets, remember in addition to the 16 and rising trillion we are presently on the hook for over 57 trillion and the only reason we don’t report that is because the Gov. does not have to,if he was a private corporation they would have to, just a few ideas here, so when you regale some one you don’t agree with how about offering a few solutions to real problems?  we can all go to the saloon and hear ideas like you presented. for free, as that is exactly what they are worth.

FROM THE RIGHT
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OK, let’s talk about yesterday’s posting that slammed me for my assertion that during the Obama admin more folks are on welfare than at any time in our history. First food stamps: In October of ’12 47 million persons were on food stamps. When Obama took office there were 32 million persons on food stamps. Unemployment insurance: In the week ending January 5, the advance figure for seasonally adjusted initial claims was 371,000, an increase of 4,000 from the previous week’s revised figure of 367,000. The 4-week moving average was 365,750, an increase of 6,750 from the previous week’s revised average of 359,000. The advance number of actual initial claims under state programs, unadjusted, totaled 552,043 in the week ending January 5, an increase of 61,944 from the previous week. There were 646,219 initial claims in the comparable week in 2012. The advance unadjusted insured unemployment rate was 2.9 percent during the week ending December 29, an increase of 0.3 percentage point from the prior week’s unrevised rate. The advance unadjusted number for persons claiming UI benefits in state programs totaled 3,659,813, an increase of 375,371 from the preceding week. A year earlier, the rate was 3.3 percent and the volume was 4,161,063. Yeah, yeah, I know that’s pretty dull stuff, but it’s a direct quote from Obamas Department of labor. Analysis of those data strongly suggests that new hires are not keeping up with population growth. If you have any doubt that our economy is tanked, torn, and in shambles, just read the stats.

an_shotgun2Part 2) In case you haven’t heard, there was yet another school shooting. This time in California. Please take note that California has the most restrictive gun laws in our nation.  Even with those laws in place, there was a school shooting. Astounding!!!

In this shoot the weapon was a vanilla 12 gauge shot gun. Nothing special about, it is the same type of gun to be found in millions of American homes. The gun is usually used for sport or hunting.  The gun did not look like an assault weapon, yet it was used in a school shooting. Astounding!!! The gun did not have an extended magazine, but the kid had pockets full of shells. Go figure.

The shooter was a student at the school. His contemporaries told the media that the kid was “weird”, a “dork”, and even though he tried to portray himself as a tough guy he was frequently bullied.  OOOOPS, I almost forgot to mention that is reported that the kid has been previously suspended from school for composing a “hit list” of his enemies.  Then, lets not forget that the school had an armed guard, but he/she was not on duty the day of the shoot.  Please, please, please I beg any liberal reader to tell us how any additional laws infringing on the right of Americans could possibly have prevented this shooting. But the school district and the kids parents failed the kid and failed society by not dealing with his demons.

By the way, in my career I worked on scores, perhaps hundreds of homicides, many were firearm related.  But in many of the cases the weapon of choice was hands, feet, bottles, hammer, knives, cars, poison, lighter fluid (used to burn two women to death), starvation, strangulation, and asphyxiation.  In all those cases and years, I cannot recall a single instance wherein more restrictive gun laws would have prevented the deaths.  The single biggest body count homicide resulted in 3 or 4 deaths (memory dims) plus one near fatal wound. The shooter in that case was a “probie” in a now defunct motorcycle gang. He tired of the hazing. He gathered up his .22, plain vanilla version, and resigned from the Sons of Dixie MC with extreme prejudice.  The weapon used was exactly the same gun that millions of kids receive when they are about 16 as a rite of passage and to build self discipline.