The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

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[Google Maps Big Pine Key] I saw the Google Maps 360° camera car turning onto Watson Ave. yesterday. I can’t wait for the update. They show my BPK house to be on Summerland Key. That’s good to avoid bill collectors, but bad for getting UPS.

Big Pine Key Winn Dixie’s Weekly Ad

 

[“Rice paper walls”] Traditional houses in Japan were made of paper because of the high incidents of earth quakes on the small volcanic island chain.  Light houses equaled light injuries during quakes.

[Keys Bed Tax] Tourist pay 12.5 percent tax for each room. That includes 7.5 percent sales tax, a 4 percent tourism tax and a 1 percent tourist impact tax.
[Lobster Mini-Season] FWC had a volunteer program for the mini-season that provided information and laws.  Shirts were worn by the volunteers which opened the eyes of the people trying to steal our resources: fish, lobster, coral, any many more things.  I think that program should be started again.

[Local Help Wanted Video] Tree climbers, landscape maintenance, CDL driver, all needed at Dot Palm Landscaping. Video

[Netflix Vs Amazon Prime Movies] Netflix will win out unless Amazon gets off their remote and make their service easier to use. Prime is such a clunky service I don’t like to use it. Everything takes longer to use. Netflix 1 click, Amazon 2 clicks for the same actions. Amazon fast forward required 4 clicks, Netflix 1. Removing a program from the list Netflix: 1 click, Prime: twelve! Tech reviewers should be talking about the user interface and not just content.

 

 

 

Bitch did what?!

[Fear and the British Stiff Upper Lip] I am always frightened, and very much so. I fear the future of all engagements. It is not the fear of death, that is past, thank God. I fear defeat and its consequences. I do not believe a bit in the calm, unmoved man. I think it is only that he does not show it outwardly. Thence I conclude no commander of forces ought to live closely in relation with his subordinates, who watch him like lynxes, for there is no contagion equal to that of fear. I have been rendered furious, when, from anxiety, I could not eat, I would find those at the same table were in like manner affected.  ~The doomed General Gordon under siege at Khartoum 1887
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[Imitation Mexican Food] I took my son to out for lunch.  He asked, “Why doesn’t Taco Bell have a playground like they do at McDonald’s.  I said, “Because it’s hard to have fun knowing you might crap your pants.”

[Poker Run Officially Canceled] That will be 10,000 motorcycles not making a god-awful racket at all hours and 10,000 riders and their passengers not spending a dime in the Keys. I guess we can’t have everything. I’ll take the money and put up with the noise.

(Ed: “Contact Us” I bought new software to make different kinds of forms and I just noticed that I didn’t tell the Contact Us form where to send the emails to? Duh. I thought the number of submissions were a little week lately. If your post didn’t get published that is why. I do apologize and would ask you to please re-send them.)
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[My Wife] My wife told me that our son was getting married and asked, “Do you know how much it costs to get married?”  I said, “I don’t know, I’m still paying.”  That’s when the fight started.
[Mindless Workers] It’s pretty apparent that the county’s Public Works guys don’t have enough to do.  Yesterday they sent the tractor with the mower down our street (Fern Avenue in Eden Pines).  There is nothing on our street to mow since the road is on fill and it drops off several feet about a foot from the pavement.  Without cutting a blade of grass, what he did do was to scatter the gravel put on the shoulder by the sewage contractor all over our newly paved street.  Today, to make up for the first dim bulb, they sent out a sweeper to push the gravel back to where it started.  Two days of work requiring two pieces of heavy equipment (and transport to the job) at taxpayer expense without any meaningful accomplishment.  ~Jerry Dykhuisen
[Loosing Food During Hurricane] I just heard a great tip. It’s called the one cup tip. You put a cup of water in your freezer. Freeze it solid, then put a quarter on top of it and leave it in your freezer. That way, when you come back after you’ve been evacuated, you can tell if your food went completely bad and just refroze, or if it stayed frozen while you were gone.

If the quarter has fallen to the bottom of the cup, that means all the food defrosted and you should throw it out. But if the quarter is either on the top or in the middle of the cup, your food may still be ok. It would be a great idea to leave this in your freezer all the time.  Then, if you lose power for any reason, you will have this tip to fall back on.

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[War] Why, of course, the people don’t want war. Why should some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece? Naturally the common people don’t want war neither in Russia, nor in England, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.”  ~Hermann Göring, April 18, 1946, Nuremberg

 

 

Well, someone managed to make the completely useless “Fidget Spinners” useful. Video

[“Naming Fat Albert’s little brother”] Little brother=Li’l Buddy (looking for boats)  ~Gilligan!
[19 Florida Keys Environmental Regulations That You Should Know] 1. Turtles –  There are five species of sea turtle in the Florida Keys, four of which are endangered. All are protected species and, as such, sea turtles and their egg nests must not be touched, disturbed, or taken – including by pets.

2. Marine Mammals –  It is illegal to feed, harass, touch, capture, or kill any marine mammal, including dolphin and the endangered manatee.  Do not try to swim with dolphin in the wild (It’s ok if they swim up to you, but swimming towards them is harassment).  Do not feed or give water to manatee, otherwise you encourage them to frequent populated areas which often results in injury from boat propellers and hulls. Obey boat-speed restrictions in canals and other areas where manatees are often found, known as “Manatee Zones”.  Continued…

 

 

[Food Facts] Did you know? A strawberry isn’t a berry but a banana is.  Avocados and watermelon are berries, too.  Cashews grow on trees like this. Link

[Business Boot Camp II] Kindergarten for Social Media. Monday, August 7 from 6-7pm  at the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce, 31020 Overseas Hwy, Big Pine Key MM 31. Social media expert Julie Botteri, with NewmanPR, will use baby steps to take us from creating & posting to a Facebook page to understanding Twitter, Google, and Instagram, those elusive marketing tools that are so crucial to our future success.  This is how your customers are doing business these days, and the Chamber wants to help you get up to speed.     So, bring your phone, your tablet, your laptop and be prepared to learn about the tools you need to grow your business.   This will be a hands-on workshop that promises to get you headed in the right direction.   Boot Camp Workshops are free to Lower Keys Chamber members; $25 per person for non-members.   Snacks & soft drinks will be provided to those who RSVP to 305-872-2411 by Friday, August 4.
[My Package] I went into the Post office today and the girl asked if she could track “my package”. My wife was in the car so I declined. Dammit!

 

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club will be coming up this Saturday, July 22, 10 am at the senior center. Full Menu > Ongoing Events

[“Naming Fat Albert’s little brother”] Mini Me.
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