Monday, September 8, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsThe Original Unsocial Media. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures. Published Daily by Noon Since 2002. No Saturday Edition

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Check out these incredible photos you may not have seen before. Something nice and interesting for a Monday morning instead of griping and grousing. Link
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[Rudeness is the norm] I was having dinner with a friend last night. As soon as we sat down, out came the phone which she placed on the table. She took every call. None of them were critical or even important. To me this is rude behavior, no different then having an acquaintance see you at a restaurant, sit themselves down uninvited and barge into your conversation. Why do people feel that the other person on the phone has a priority over those they are with? Watch any table in a restaurant and you will see this occurring.
swim turn in pool
I really wish we had a community swimming pool in the Lower and Middle Keys. Not everyone has a boat or a pool on their property. It’s a shame that the Marathon High School Swimming Team doesn’t even have a pool to practice in. Marathon should buy the Marathon Manor property and put in a pool. It would be really nice if the new park in Big Pine had a pool. We have the perfect climate for community pools and it is great exercise. The only County pool is in Key Largo which is way too far away. The Lower and Middle Keys got the shaft on that.
[“Do females write into the Coconut Telegraph”] I am female and write in about once a week. It depends what people are griping about, but usually misinformed. My husband will be reading it and yell out, “Did you write into the Coconut?” I’m a snowbird and winter on Big Pine.
Ed you should take a demographics poll.
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free_beer_tomorrow
Has anyone ever got a free drink at a bar around here?
[‘Muslims’] All politicians seem to be saying, “I’m for doing what needs to be done” But not one of them has a clue what needs to be done or even any reasonable suggestions!
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[Homeless] Unknown ordinance Number 99.9999 is a harass-the-homeless law only enforced against homeless men and women. Aka the open container law. On any given night while they are handcuffing that poor homeless guy, half a dozen people, beer in hand, are either walking by or shooting pictures unmolested. It’s just a matter of time till one educated lawyer-type homeless person films those arrests then request public records of who has been charged under said statue and bring a selective enforcement and civil rights suit to federal court and cause a bunch of the victims to be substantially better off. Selective enforcement is wrong and illegal.
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[Obama a Druid
] This just in from Fox News. Turns out that president Obama is not a Muslim as long suspected, but is in fact a Druid. Here is a photo of Obama at Stonehenge, where he just left the secret vault that contains his birth certificate.
[Racism vs Bigotry] There is no more free speech in America. Atlanta Hawks basketball team owner is forced to sell his team by stating demographics of why his team is losing money. “Too many blacks in stands and too many blacks in the stadium bars which might spook affluent southern whites.” Presently you can only think what you think till we have the thought police which wont be long!
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tat8
All I’m saying is you don’t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy
[“Fat comments”] In the United States we have a problem with obesity. There are more obese men then women, thus contributing to the greater death rate from sudden cardiac arrest. If you ignorant men want to know why women tend to put on weight when they enter menopause please search “Why do women gain weight in menopause”.
Also there are several medications which cause weight gain. The weight gain is attributed to water retention, decrease metabolism rate and increased appetite. Some of these medications are used to decrease inflammation, prevent nerve pain, or deal with depression. Women don’t want to gain weight when they are prescribed these medications. I gained 20 pounds in three weeks while I was taking a steroid for a back problems . I have been of the medication for four weeks and I haven’t been able to lose any of the weight. I eat very healthy and have been watching the calories but to no avail. Yes, I know I am obese and I don’t feel good about my weight. But it’s far from the end of the world! Didn’t your mamas teach you that if you don’t have anything nice to say shut up?
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[“They cut his head off. Why keep showing that same sensational picture”] Because it is time we all woke up to reality and realize it will happen here some day.
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God give me strength to catch a fish, So big that even I, When telling of it afterwards, Have no need to lie.
If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?
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hebrew lesson
Editor, you need to check with your Yiddish dictionary before changing what you thought was a typo in the Jersey Girl Challenge posting. Shtup means to f**k. Example: “I was trying to shtup this Jersey broad, but she wouldn’t put down her hamburger.” (Ed: Oy vey!)
It is always mind boggling to read some responses to FTR and/or Fox News. To intelligently respond you must (assuming some degree of logic exists) have read, watched, or absorbed some of the information you are claiming to be bogus. Thus we can assume the writer spends time absorbing something he/she calls useless or wrong or senseless or error-filled. Since all intelligent discussions revolve around a set of facts, why not tell us why Obama is doing so well for this country, Why Fox, the only one who has been really opposed to ISIS (or what ever their name is now) is wrong, what your solution to multiple beheadings of Americans would be, and why Fox News should stop peddling problems with ISIS, Obama, the government, or the economy (I left out Obamacare as a kindness) Thanks for your response.
lower keys boat rental7.11.14
[Dead Snowbird] Was the Key Colony Beach flag at half mast on behalf of Joan Rivers today?
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[Muslims Ruining the World] We wouldn’t have this world problem if Bush had left Saddam Hussein in power. Only a strongman dictator can control these backwards thinking peoples and Saddam did a good job of it until Bush had him killed. Because of Bush’s ignorance of foreigners he was able to open Pandora’s Box and wake the sleeping giant and unleash the hate called Islam.
I wanted to be at the Saturday rally in front of Winn Dixie on Big Pine protesting the parking lot conditions, but something came up.  How did it go?  I bet WD finally got the message.
george-neugent9.3.14
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Sometimes being retired is not very exciting, however, you can make things more interesting on garbage day. Pack your garbage like this and then watch through the window!
The US Congress (why capitalize that word?) is basically a non entity at this point in time.  Stop their pay and benefits!
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The ISIS are a bunch of nuts for sure. The good Muslims, if there are any who are not into world domination, could help out and cull out the bad Muslims or at least help the UN capture the screwballs.
earth small[The Pale Blue Dot] The Sagen series. Video
How do you tell a small Jewfish from a grouper? Catching Jewfish are against the law so how do you tell the difference? I’ve caught small Jewfish in the past and they both looked the same.
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golf8
[Golf] Filling out the foursome.
[Booze and Taxes] The top money-making business in Key West and the Florida Keys is booze. Demon rum and his extended family are loved, worshipped and guzzled by rich and poor and in between full-time residents, part-time residents (snowbirds), visitors (tourists) and homeless people, who are poorer than poor. Booze is guzzled regardless of race, skin color, ethnic ancestry, sexual orientation, religious preference, political party affiliation and national origin. Raise local taxes on wholesale and retail booze sales. At the same time, eliminate exemption of church-owned land from real estate taxes, since churches obviously are not reducing the consumption of booze in the Florida Keys, and perhaps are contributing to its consumption.

Secondly, if the goal is to get more real estate tax revenues, the way to go about that is to ban all new private real estate development, which, in time, will drive up real estate values through increased demand for limited already developed real estate, which, in turn, will increase local real estate tax revenues without raising real estate tax millage rates.

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[Video Prank] Turning a homeless shelter into a 5 start restaurant. Video
bike8Bike for sale. One owner, super condition Trek 7500 Multi-track bicycle. Men’s 17.5″ frame. Rode by a small women since purchased new. (But technically only this woman rode it, who took very good care of it!) Hybrid: does both road and trails. Excellent condition, just some scratches. Newer tires, new upgraded inner tubes (better protection against punctures, and keeps air pressure longer). Brand new seat, and pedals. Never had a problem with any of it’s components, just a normal tune up. No rust either. Very reliable bike, just too small for me. Trek’s hold their value, bike dealer told me $400, but I’m just asking $299. Will get you everywhere you need to go, I promise! Bike is currently located in Key West. Photos upon request. $299.00 OBO. Classified Ads > Miscellaneous
[Letter From A Terrorist] Sabir writes to say he will burn all Jews and Christians. Bill responds. Link
manley-deboer-7.11.14
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yoda8
Against the force
, Indeed a trance, Equality with coercion, To face a person.
If there were any good Muslims they would take up arms and kill ISIS and the Taliban. Their silence and lack of action shows that in their hearts they approve the violence Muslims exhibit.
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[“I think I have termites”] Before you do anything, why not have the Extension Service help you identify your insects.
cookies ms claus
Coming soon to the CT–cookie recipes! Yum.
[“Separate section for the Jersey Girls”] It seems to be getting out of control. Most of the overweight folks I’ve met down here are from Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Carolina, & Ohio. The fattest states ranked currently are Alabama & Mississippi. The top 15 don’t even include Jersey. Mostly southern states. And fat insults are even worse than FTR’s nonsense. I’m guessing all of the Jersey fat girl insults are coming from several sad sacks that have all gotten drunk and woke up next to the same chubby Jersey gal. Actually, I doubt any guy from BPK has woke up next to a Jersey girl. They prefer guys with jobs and teeth.
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mugshot_lisa
Am I the only guy in the Keys that uses the mugs shot page to filter out crazy potential dates? If you see a girl in the bar who was arrested for pills or coke or beating someone’s ass then you don’t try to pick her up. KEYSSO provides a great public service! Full Menu > Arrest Report
[“CT Saturday Edition”] Obviously you missed the memo. There isn’t going to be a Saturday edition. And in a very few weeks [after the elections] there isn’t going to be a Sunday edition either. Deer Ed is (finally) going to start having a life so he can enjoy living in paradise rather than living in his office editing foolish posts about re-starting a Saturday edition from numbskulls that don’t pay attention.
Phil-Goodman8.14.14
[Obamacare] I overheard a woman in Winn Dixie who just got out of the hospital. She said she couldn’t have done it without Obamacare. She said she got far greater coverage for just a few bucks more than the lousy coverage she was paying for before.

The interesting thing I noted was that she was almost ashamed to say it.

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Cuisinart
2-qt. ice cream, frozen yogurt and sorbet maker. In box, never used. $30 or best offer. email to Classified Ads > Household
[Building an Ark] I don’t remember the high tides being so high? What’s going on?
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[You’re Not Alone] This is a wake up to keep a file of your posts so you can go back and read all the stuff you posted and realize you are just as messed up as the rest of the posters.
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Follow the Antares-Mars-Saturn lineup as it changes day by day. On September 17th Mars will pass just ½° above Delta Scorpii.
[“A separate section for the Jersey Girl bashing”] A big wide section!
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free8
(Ed: Why does everyone capitalize the word free? I’ve been meaning to ask you all for over a decade. It is one of the mysteries of my life.)
[“Kim Gamble of the Extension Service is an asset”] You forgot to sign your post, Mr. Gamble!
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[“Are there any women writing to this site”] Sure there are, just look for the illogical, pointless dribble.
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[Israel]  What a beautiful and well done production.  It’s too bad these people can’t be left alone by their neighbors to live in peace.  Peace is all they want and the respect of their borders.  But they’re in a part of the world where wars have been going on for thousands of years and hate is the norm. They call it the Holy Land.
[“Bring back Saturday edition”] Aye aye! Do it Ed, we need the hang-over crowd to post on Saturday moaning and drop the Sunday holy rollers.
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[What’s Happening?] The Fappening. Reddit’s Ultimative Collection[?].
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[Captain Doom and Gloom
] “Nobody Wants My Email” It is a damn shame that it seems most people do not care what happens to America because if you send email telling of the horrors and crimes done by people to people, the shim-sham cons politicians pull for power and riches, and the spinning of the news by the media, they tell you they do not want to see such email — only nice pictures of nature or sunsets or cats. When are people going to wake up to the reality that this planet’s days are numbered unless we get off out lounge chairs, out of our beauty shops, and look out for the planet? We are in big trouble and nobody cares!.
Question for all you local kids, is heroin as good as they say it is?
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Hypocrisy. “Wages gave been stagnant for the past 7 years, and a whole new underclass dependent on the government has been spawned.” ~FTR guy.

And yet the GOP continues to vote down any minimum wage increase. And with help of the GOP big business continues to eliminate the unions thus effectively forcing working Americans to take what ever the corporations offer. We are becoming a nation of serfs.

A CNN Reporter, BBC Reporter, and an Israeli commando were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.
The CNN Reporter said, ‘Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger & fries. The reporter ate it and said “Now, I can die.”
The BBC Reporter said, ‘I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.” The terror leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and dictated some comments. The reporter then said, ‘Now I can die knowing I stayed true until the end.”
The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?”
“Kick me in the ass,” said the soldier.
“What?’ asked the leader, “Will you mock us in your last hour?”
“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Israeli. So the leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the ass.
The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flak jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the soldier was untying the reporters, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?”
“What?” replied the Israeli, “and have you report that I was the aggressor?”
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FTR is quick to call Obama a liar over things most consider trivial. If you recall FTR has never said a word about his baby, Bush, who lied in order to disrupt the world. To him that is trivial. To him it’s more important to bash the President of the United States over anything he does.
Fox News’ latest ploy is airing a lot of fanciful speculation by a couple of cowboy hired guns that they could have saved the day at Benghazi.  Unfortunately that is not how the real world works.
Here are the 10,535 pages of Obama Care condensed to 4 sentences…
1. In order to insure  the uninsured, we first have to uninsure the  insured.
2. Next, we require the  newly uninsured to be re-insured.
3. To re-insure the  newly uninsured, they are required to pay extra charges to be  re-insured.
4. The extra charges are  required so that the original insured, who became uninsured, and then  became re-insured, can pay enough extra so that the original uninsured  can be insured,
which will be free of  charge to them.
This,  ladies and gentlemen, is called “redistribution of wealth” … or, by  its more common name, Socialism.
Lest anyone forget, on Jul 1 2014 the democrats passed a huge tax increase. Before there was No estate tax now it’s 55%, dividend tax up 167%, capital gains up 87%, ant the top bracket income tax up to 40%. I say the democrats passed this because not one Republican voted for it. So what was this all about, it seems like the democrat plan (more to the bottom feeders) is working, with someone else’s money.
How can Fox News be legal?
from the right
broken promise8Well, it’s official. Obama has once again broken a promise to his supporters. On June 30 Obama angrily denounced Republicans and promised to take executive action on immigration. He was dead set on using his phone and his pen to end run Congress. That prospect had the illegal alien community ecstatic, the left wing of the left wing of the Democrat party were jumping for joy. They were packing piñatas to break at a huge celebration.

But no more. Team Obama has admitted that Obama will not even consider action until after the November election. The illegal community and the left of the left are outraged. Huge segments of Latin voters are turning their backs on Obama and the Democrats, the finally recognize that they are not worthy of trust or votes. They are furious.

The reason he now refuses to honor his promise is simple. Politics! Beleaguered Democrat congressional candidates had been shaking with fear that Obama would take executive action. They recognized that to so do would certainly be the death knell to many of their campaigns.

Obama’s aim was to grant amnesty to the existing illegal immigrant population, to make immigration even easier and more attractive to residents of poverty ridden countries. And, he is steadfastly opposed to actually securing our southern border.

Just to put the problem in a little perspective, please consider the following: 36,007 illegal aliens last year who had been convicted of a crime and were released by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) while awaiting deportation proceedings. The net increase in the number of employed working-age adults in North Carolina has gone entirely to legal and illegal immigrants since 2000, according to an analysis of government data conducted by the Center for Immigration Studies. The backlog of pending deportation cases in federal immigration court has risen to nearly 400,000. Ranchers along the Texas border with Mexico are in fear for their lives and the lives of their families. The Mexican drug cartels are taking over the border. The cost of educating the recent crush illegal minors will exceed $761 million dollars this year. Imagine the impact that will have on the education of your children. Illegal immigrant children are clogging the school rooms of many schools.

Currently, all unlawful immigrant households together cost taxpayers around $54.5 billion. To put that into context, please read the following direct copy from the Department of Veterans Affairs Congressional Budget proposal for 2015: “Includes $56.002 billion for Veterans’ medical care, supporting continuing improvements in the delivery of mental health care, specialized care for women veterans, and benefits for Veterans’ caregivers.” Link

You should also consider that if amnesty becomes the law of the land, over their lifetime the costs to America by the illegal aliens will balloon to about $6.3 trillion dollars. Link

The social implications of the Democrat refusal to seal our southern border are troubling, but the security implications are terrifying. The border is as porous to terrorists and their weapons as it is to narco traffickers, and as it is unaccompanied minor children. There can be no immigration reform until we secure our southern border. Why Team Obama and his Democrat team are so opposed to securing our border is a complete mystery