Friday, November 28, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

black-friday_ct
thanksgiving pilgrim kids globe
[The best part of Thanksgiving] The big feast is over, the dishes are cleared and I’m as full as a tick on an old hound dog.  Even so, I’m looking forward to that nice turkey sandwich with stuffing and gravy before going to bed and curling up with the woman who has blessed my life for so many years.  The best part is sitting on my deck with a nice tumbler or Knob Creek bourbon and looking out over the ocean while sipping on my cocktail.  I reflect on the joys of the past year, how fortunate I am to have good health and great friends to spend leisure time with.  I think of my two sons and a grandchild, now living far away, and am proud and thankful that they turned out to be healthy and responsible adults. Their phone call earlier was better than any sweet dessert could ever be.  I am thankful for every day that I wake to the call of my boat and the bounty that the sea provides my home and that I am still able to enjoy it.  I reflect on those in our land who are less fortunate, perhaps cold and hungry, and feel a tad of guilt about my gluttony earlier today.  I say a silent prayer that they might have a better coming year and somehow find better fortune.  And as my Knob Creek calls to me for a bit of a refill I think again of that dandy sandwich awaiting me later.  Happy Holidays everyone and may the good lord bless and keep you and yours in his hands.
hareens-hats10.19.14
Thank you for the live entertainment Thanksgiving evening on Eden Pines. They sounded great! We had some family visiting for the holiday and we all sat on the porch to enjoy the music. We were disappointed when it stopped at 8PM. Thanks again. Hope you have another party soon.
ronco-oven
The girl friend and I just bought a Ronco Rotisserie Oven on Craigslist for $40. The 12 pound turkey was perfect in two hours, and didn’t tie-up the oven so we could cook the pies.
Sarcasm is so lost on the stupid, but, damn, it entertains me to watch the wheels turn!
bluewater-750w
The two canal restoration projects, which are budgeted for a total of $1.6 million, will involve the removal of approximately 5 feet of that muck. The bare cap rock at the canal bottoms will then get a 6- inch layer of sand to facilitate seagrass growth. I wonder what they will do to prevent this from reoccurring or will we have to spend another $1.6 million, to do it again?
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tarantula-o
[Movie Spiders] Every movie that tries to scare us has a tarantula for the scary spider, no matter if tarantula’s live in that part of the world or not. I’ve even seen them in sifi movies in space. They always seem to pop up but never bite.
[Ferguson] I feel most of you are missing the whole point of the riots. Police unfairly shoot black kids because, according to a recent study, they are the most dangerous segment of society. Just as the riots spread across the country a 12 year old was shot and killed while waving a toy pistol around. The 911 caller who reported the kid told the 911 operator that it might be a toy pistol–twice! The dispatcher never passed that important information to the responding police who immediately killed the kid. This continues.
Nira-Tocco-6.14
[“Lost dog in canal”] I am looking for your dog that went for a swim but didn’t return. So far I have located 3 dripping wet dogs. None admitted to being yours. Please post a doggy photo or some type of description so we can you help find Fido.
tab4
[You Snooze You Lose Department] I priced a Samsung Galaxy Tab 4,10.1-Inch tablet with16GB storage at Amazon last week and it was on sale for $229. I figured I’d wait for Black Friday to save even more. Today it was sold out and the new price was $263 plus tax. Best buy -out, Staples -out, Newegg -out. I found one at Walmart and another at Target and had to pay $269 with tax included. Bah, Black Friday!
[Skinny Steak] We went to the Wharf on Summerland Key on Wednesday evening for dinner and it was not good. We ordered the prime rib special and when they brought the steak it was maybe a half inch thick and over done and very bad. I’m not sure what is going on there but we will not be back there.
accurate-home-insp-750w
[“Compost toilets”] If there was any justice in the world we would all be given the option of receiving composting toilets and opting off of the system. Heaven forbid that there would be no room for graft and corruption bleeding us for eternity.
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excel18
[Excel help] I tried to enter my 16 digit credit card number in an Excel worksheet cell. The last number which is 1 automatically changes to 0. I have formatted the cell to the Numbers category with 0 decimal places — and it still keeps changing the last number to 0. Actually I’ve tried formatting the cell to every category available without any luck. I’m using the Excel 2003 version.
We were supposed to eat yesterday at 6pm. They turkey was done beautifully and was on the table resting, but the potatoes, squash and sweet potatoes just wouldn’t cook, so we kept on drinking rum and listened to our stomachs complaining. After about another half hour someone looked at the stove and found the propane had run out! We finally ate at 7 and, boy, was it good!
fanci10-16-14
[“Wind Insurance”] Insurance companies aren’t benevolent organizations. They don’t care it you have good shingles and shutters. They are not there to help you fix up your crap house. They insure you and get higher premiums to cover the extra risk you possess. It’s just business.
hendrix28Jimi Hendrix, birthday boy at 72 if he wasn’t dead. You know he once played guitar for Engelbert Humperdinck! Can you believe that Jimi Hendrix played in Engelbert Humperdinck’s band one night late in the 1960’s? Well that is what happened according to him. Jimi Hendrix was on tour opening for Engelbert Humperdinck and Engelbert’s guitar player didn’t show up and he was wondering what he would do. Jimi came up to him and said Hey man don’t worry, I’ll play guitar for you. Engelbert replied You can’t do that, your a star! Jimi then told him, wait a minute, let me check out this place. Jimi noticed a curtain near the doorway and said, I’ll stand behind that curtain. Englebert asked him You will and Jimi replied I sure will. So Jimi got the music in front of him started playing with the band. Mr Humperdinck says that Jimi sounded like 3 guitars playing all at once. It was the biggest thrill of his life, but the only thing that he was so upset about was that it wasn’t recorded! Can you say collector’s item?
[Joke Friday] I’m always looking for a bargain so I thought I would go the market late Thanksgiving Day and buy a couple of turkeys at reduced prices as they were trying to sell off the leftovers.  The birds had been well picked over and there were only a couple of scrawny turkeys left.  I rang for the butcher and asked, “Do these get any bigger?”  Obviously tired and wanting to close up shop and go home he snapped, “No, they don’t get any bigger. They’re dead!”
Radio-Shack10.31.14
[Joke Friday] One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church’s foyer. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.
“Father Donovan,” the boy asked, “what is this?
“Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service,” the priest explained. They stood together quietly, staring at the memorial plaque.
Little Davey softly asked, “Which service? The 9:00 or the 10:30?”
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sandwich-eater
[The ultimate Thanksgiving day after turkey sandwich]  On white bread, (okay, okay, wheat if you must), smear one slice with plenty of mayonnaise.  On the other, spread with cranberry sauce.  Pile some turkey on the mayo side, top with leftover stuffing and moisten well with gravy.  Top with second slice of bread and enjoy with a couple of cold brewskies then take a nap!
I’m wishing a glorious good morning to all family,  friends, an so many very special  people! I  normally  side with Native American people who do not celebrate this day. They consider it bogus and find no way to celebrate the genocide of their  lands,  ancestors, & heritage . Today I  find many personal  reasons for celebration.
Isaksen11.5.14
I was reading an article that said Internet trolling is a form of sadism.
propeller flow left spin
[“Prop wash wanted”] You realize, don’t you, that doing so would be considered a felony for which the arrest, jail and ultimately huge fines would be Medieval. There is a process for getting a permit to remove sediment from a permitted legal basin, or canal. The costs are also huge in that the spoil is treated as toxic waist and must be treated and removed.
Facts about Ferguson the media will never tell you. Link
BP-Flea-Market10.10.14
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poison bottle rotates
Unbelievable!  Splenda is poison?  The ants know it. They’ll walk completely around and over the Splenda to get to real sugar.  If the ants know it’s poison, our marine life will know it too. I say it’s time to cut our losses and just say no to the whole new wastewater system.  It is only about money under the guise of helping the environment. Link
[The Terror] I wonder what makes so many commentators believe ISIL can be “wiped off the face of the earth”, “destroyed”, and so on. It is not the territory they control; the “territory” they control is the Internet, and the alienation Muslims (especially in Western and modernized Islamic countries) feel. Combine that with sectarian warfare against equally Messianic Muslim sects, and hatred of “crusading” Christian countries and paranoia about Israel and the perceived historic slights to the Palestinians, and plain old score-settling in Iraq for Shiite depredations, and there will never be a shortage of ISIL recruits.The Middle East is the Chernobyl of ideological, religious, and sectarian hatred. It will be toxic for all who choose to engage there, except that we can’t construct a sarcophagus over it to contain it. But we can protect ourselves with good security at home, legal surveillance and interrogation that doesn’t create a national security state.

Our current strategy can only delay and degrade ISIL’s ability to launch attacks on the U.S., while paradoxically, inviting attacks on us. We should do what we can, as frustrating as it is, since our own history from Afghanistan to Syria is littered with unintended consequences and diametrically opposite outcomes.

manley-deboer-7.11.14
The world changed for us the day we traded our privacy for security. That’s what happened in Orwell’s prophetic book 1984. It’s as if he could see into the future.
jeremy irons
I’d like to see the great actor Jeremy Irons play Sherlock Holmes–he’d be a natural!
[“Police cover up Eimers wrongful death”] As for John Donnelly, he frequently publishes stuff about his work in the criminal justice system, particularly trying to help prison inmates wrongfully convicted and imprisoned. He talks plenty of his interface with various law enforcement agencies. Personally, I think he overstates a great deal of his opinions as if they are facts. I have seen many times of him writing of the US Government intervening in the Eimers case. I hope that happens. Perhaps the recent depositions will incite DOJ to intervene. I hope DOJ has not already looked at the case and decided not intervene, but that’s what John’s comment looked like to me, and some people in DOJ were not happy about that.
Coconuts-sign-ad-750w
I thought the “I love Thanksgiving Day” post at the start of yesterdays C.T. was interesting and a fun read. I especially like the fish metaphor, one used in our family for many years. To me it was all so true, or maybe I am getting crankier in my dotage., but then again it did produce a chuckle.
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coke-plane
[Coca Cola Sales Are In Decline] The trend has pinched Coca-Cola and other soft drink companies in recent years as consumers move away from sodas in favor of beverages perceived as healthy. Link
[“In the year 2040 we discovered that climate change wasn’t a hoax”] At least you are using the term climate change. Aren’t you the one that used to say global warming? The sky is not falling and the climate has always changed.
Springers-ad-750w
I like houses that are functional. I don’t really care if they look like a whore’s nightmare, just as long as they can handle rough weather. In fact I like my houses, cars and women to be boxy but safe. I don’t care if other people think they are ugly. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and depends a little on the amount of alcohol imbibed.
sugar28
Why eat Splenda when a teaspoon of natural sugar is only 15 calories?
Fresh fish? ha ha ha. It’s all imported conch in your fritters and ceviche. Stone crab season? A bust again. Dare I say anything about the condition of the reefs? Thanks NOAA, you’ve done a bang up job at saving nothing except your jobs!
johnsons-7.9.14
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redneck28
Once again the combination of too many Rob Roy’s and political rants proved to be the undoing of another FTR guy thanksgiving get together.
Bob, are you crazy? Don’t broadcast something like that on the internet. Huge, huge no-no. Not that I care, but there are many people with titles and uniforms and agendas that do. And they will know. And again, your nosey neighbors will tell on you; and the county or sate or federals will know. And you will be F-ed. [?]
politics-zone-750w
Unbelievable!  Splenda is poison.  The ants know it,……they’ll walk  completely around and over the Splenda to get to real sugar.  If the ants know it’s poison, our marine life will know it, too.I say it’s time to “Cut our Losses” and JUST SAY NO to the whole new wastewater system.  It is only about money…..

under the guise of helping the environment.

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Thank you FTR for your reasoning for being afraid of the times. I am afraid that your funny Hanible Lecter joke will be take as gospel. Liberals will believe none of your facts as such, but will take your joke as gospel and start calling you a cannibal
from the right
A POSTER WROTE: “Before you finger-wag about what’s going on in Ferguson check out these white riots.”FTR’S RESPONSE: It’s obvious that the poster assigns moral equivalency to the Ferguson riots and to the various riotous celebrations are sometimes attendant to sports. To some extent there is truth in that. All riots destroy property and wreck the lives of those victimized. But there is a fundamental difference.

gun bangThe Ferguson and other most recent riots that have been spawned by the justified killing of Michael Brown by a police officer are hate filled and have a political agenda. Brown was a huge young thug who was assaulting the police officer who killed him. After due process, the killing was ruled as being justified. This riot and other such riots are fomented by leaders who have a political agenda. The leaders preach hate and discontent with the goal of using the rioting for their personal political gains. Those riots, unlike the celebratory sports riots, are the spawn of hate and division.

It’s fascinating to watch such riots in progress. Even though the participants justify their frenetic and illegal activity as being justified by their convictions that they are victims of police persecution, the rioters are having fun. They are enjoying the looting, the taunting of the police, the beating of innocents, and the destruction of property. Most, if not nearly all, are not community members, but come from miles around to participate. It is the community where the riot occurs that is devastated.

Mr. Obama’s friend and adviser, Al Sharpton, is probably the single biggest fomenters of these riots. He revels in them. When they occur, he counts coup. His influence grows. I trust you will recall that Mr. Obama has repeatedly interjected himself into every single episode that has racial overtones such as Ferguson, he always calls for calm and quiet, and then criticizes the police actions. He then tells the community that their angst is “understandable.”

Obama’s response to incidents involving police and blacks are becoming more and more suggestive that Obama himself is a racist.

Consider his reaction to the unfortunate interaction between a black college professor and a white police officer. Harvard University professor Henry Louis Gates, was arrested at his home after he became enraged because a white police officer had identified and detained him as being a suspicious person at his own home. Gates refused to identify himself or cooperate with the officer. Obama, on national TV called the officer “stupid.” In the Trayvon Martin case, Obama told the world that if he had had a son, that young man would have “looked like” him. And he said that: “Trayvon Martin looked like me 35 years ago.” In the Ferguson case Obama sent 3 White House reps to the funeral of the deceased young thug, Michael Brown. Obama has yet to send a rep to the funeral of any police officer killed in the line of duty.

The really nasty fact is that the death of Brown and the subsequent rioting have been of great benefit to Obama. Obama promised to be a post racial president, yet he does all in his power to build barriers between the various ethnic groups. To him it is just good Chicago politics.

You will note that the news media have been silent on the IRS scandal, the fact that Al Sharpton owes $4 mil in back taxes, the plummeting popularity and approval rating of Obama, Obama’s illegal granting of amnesty to millions of illegals, the explosion of power by ISIS, the increasing militancy of Russia, and it’s most recent incursion into Ukraine, the increasing militancy of China, all of which have been cloaked from scrutiny by the media because of its attention to Ferguson. But, the times are changing, now many Democrats are jumping ship, anxious to put as much space between themselves and the Obama regime as is possible. Rats and sinking ships.

Part 2) THE OTHER DAY A POSTER WROTE: “A large section of illegal aliens that were sucking up taxpayers monies will soon have to ante up and start paying. Now you know why the Conservatives are so upset. If they have to cut back a little on B.S. rhetoric it sends them into a FOX induced coma. They are not big on reality.”

tax-evasionFTR’S RESPONSE: Sorry Charlie, you’re just flat wrong about the illegals paying taxes. Very few of the illegals will actually be paying taxes. The majority, if not the vast majority, will find themselves in the tax bracket that qualifies them for The Earned Income Tax Credit. This means that they likely will get money back from Uncle Sam, even if they have no tax withheld. Nationwide last year, over 27 million eligible individuals and families received more than $63 billion in EITC.

With the 5 million illegals granted amnesty by Obama that number will swell substantially. Yep, many, probably most, will get a huge menu of entitlements, plus cash back from the government even if they have paid not a cent in income taxes.

The average individual granted amnesty will earn about $29,177. According to the Congressional Budget Office, a person making that kind of money would pay negligible, if any, federal taxes, and receive around $10,000 in government benefits.

That $10,000 doesn’t include Obamacare, and probably understates the actual amount of government entitlements that these individuals will receive. Obama’s executive order is primarily aimed at undocumented parents of U.S. citizens, which will probably mean that they are older than average. If so, they will gain access not only to Obamacare, but also to Social Security and especially Medicare.

Amnesty will be a huge drain on our economy, but Obama reckons that it will be a huge vote getter for the Democrats. And to him, that’s all that counts,