Monday, May 25, 2015

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts

Since 2002. Published Weekly

Submit anything of a positive nature, but no national politics or sewer stuff unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com
(Ed: Although all advertisers’ contracts have expired I’m still going to display their ads for free until they get used to the new CT. Hopefully they will all want to keep advertising.)

memorial day 4
oil well4[Deep Wells] We have owned a winter home on Cudjoe for over thirty years. Therefore, have followed the Cudjoe Regional Sewer project from its beginning, and have seen the waste of effort, time, manpower, and mostly money.
We also own a summer home in Kansas, and are fortunate to also own a few oil wells which we have drilled, and continue to produce.. These wells vary from 2,500 feet to over 3,500 feet deep. We are able to move in a rig, drill the well, complete it with at least two strings of pipe, plus the production tubing and be ready to produce the well it in less than two weeks.
I have always failed to understand why FKAA needs two years to drill a deep injection well, (half as deep as an oil well), and spend as much money as we do in drilling at least seven oil-wells, twice as deep.. A disposal well only needs one string of pipe, and no expensive surface production equipment.
Could the answer be that the “grease”, (oil) we get goes directly into the refining system, and the “grease” does not pass through any pockets, or several layers of governmental bureaucracy on the way to becoming gasoline and many other by-products.
When we drill a “dry hole”, and we have, we use them as saltwater disposal wells. No expensive injection equipment is needed to inject the fluid into the well, Gravity takes care of that. As soon as the fluid begins to flow the pressure measured at the wellhead actually becomes a vacuum.
With all of the different systems being used; pressure, grinder, and vacuum, one mistake, and we may have poop all over Paradise.
[Jail] Since Washington and Colorado legalized pot have they emptied their jails of those previously convicted of marijuana offenses?
fish jumping on plate
[Square Grouper Fresh Fish] Please remove the insult that we do not serve fresh fish.  This is an outright lie and if you would like to see my receipts I have no problem with that.  I work too hard to have someone make up lies.
Omens don’t work. If they appear to work it would just be coincidence
24-looe-key200h
What color are the “red” channel markers? If I go to the paint store what color would I ask for?
[Security] I saw where some famous Las Vegas casino had 800 cameras in the casino, 720 in the hotel making it 1500 cameras! To make it more secure they have quadruple redundancy on the gaming floor.
Trench_Warfare_2
[Trench Warfare] The battle of Passchendaele in France cost 20,000 men per each step to capture German held land. 140,000 men were killed to capture just 5 miles of enemy land, that’s 2″ of ground for each man lost.
[The Movies] Nuclear missiles shot at meteors endangering the planet never work.
ladybug up
Ladybugs
can have as many as 16 spots, but some ladybugs have no spots at all. One of the most common ladybugs is the seven-spotted lady beetle.
There’s no “I” in denial.
cereal8
Some say freedom is the key that opens doors otherwise meant to imprison.
Some say freedom is power to do, to be, to say, and to accomplish what the oppressed cannot.
Some say freedom is a responsibility—a weight to be carried and shared by those willing to protect it.
Perhaps freedom is all these things.
I do know without freedom I am a slave in shackles on a ship lost at sea.”With freedom I am a captain; I am a pirate; I am an admiral; I am a scout; I am the eagle souring overhead; I am the north star guiding a crew; I am the ship itself; I am whatever I choose to be.”  !Richelle E. Goodrich

Have a blessed Memorial Day!

detective glass[“How to find property owner by address”] There are several search fields including street. You can enter the entire address or just the street name. If the latter, It may bring up all properties on that street in Monroe county (type in all capitals or you’ll get wrong results. Also don put Street, Road or Lane). Link
Bobby Shew wrote and performs this tribute to Blue Mitchell. Video
simon bolivar
South American revolutionary Simon Bolivia was a warrior who fought in one hundred battles.
Blame is the lazy person’s way of making sense out of chaos.
ear bloodyIf they can ‘print’ an ear and get cells to grow on it, why can’t they use their knowledge to make artificial bait? You can’t tell me that there isn’t a market big enough to justify the research. Who wouldn’t buy it and keep it on their boat (or in their car) for those times when you see birds, bait fish or seaweed where you know there’s bunches of hungry fish just waiting for you to take. I’ve tried the available artificial baits in the past and it was useless.
[The Movies] To demonstrate anger actors punch the drywall, sweep everything off the table, throw their cell phones, pound the steering wheel or tear all the pictures off the wall.
worm-vine-orchid00
The worn vine vanilla orchid has finally bloomed! I haven’t seen one bloom in 25 years. The orchis is only one inch tall and smells like Heaven.
A place is haunted when it seems more real than you are.
1957-Buick-Caballero
1957 Buick Caballero
[What’s FWC up to?] Good job FWC!

Officer Hein was on water patrol near Long Key when he stopped a vessel after watching the occupants dive for some time. The occupants had been collecting marine life and did not have a working constant circulating live well or aeration/oxygenation system on board. The operator of the vessel did not have any identification on the vessel and continuously gave Officer Hein incorrect information regarding his true identity. Officer Hein arrested the individual for the marine criminal violation. Officer McKay arrived on scene by land with a Rapid ID Fingerprint Reader to assist in the identification of the operator. Officer McKay was able to utilize the Rapid ID to positively identify the operator who had an outstanding warrant out of Monroe County. The operator was charged, in addition to the warrant, with giving a false name and not having a constant circulating live well or aeration/oxygenation system on board the vessel while collecting or transporting ornamental fish and/or marine organisms and was transported to the Marathon Detention Facility.

Officers Fell and Robb observed two subjects actively fishing under North Pine Channel Bridge in the Lower Keys and conducted a marine fisheries inspection. One of the subjects claimed he had a valid fishing license, but not in his possession. The officers conducted a records check through the FWC’s dispatch center, which revealed the subject in question did not have a fishing license. It was learned that the subject had an active warrant out of Escambia County. The subject was arrested. He also received a citation for not having a valid saltwater shoreline fishing license.

Officers Mattson and Trueblood were on water patrol in the upper Keys when they saw a vessel with an individual hanging both legs over the bow as the vessel was moving. They stopped the vessel and conducted a safety inspection as well as a fisheries inspection which resulted in the officers finding 3 undersized dolphin. The captain of the vessel was cited accordingly.

Officers Trueblood and Mattson were on patrol and stopped a vessel with a subject bow riding on the front. The vessel was a rental boat out of Islamorada.  A boating safety inspection revealed that the fire extinguisher was empty. The officers, along with the rental boat returned to the rental company where the man who rented out the vessel was cited for renting out a vessel with deficient safety equipment.

Officers Adams and Piekenbrock conducted a boating safety and marine fisheries inspection on a recreational vessel in Key West Harbor.  During their inspection, they saw multiple fishing poles on board the vessel.  The officers asked the captain of the vessel if they had any fish on board at which point the captain showed the officers their catch which included several dolphin and 2 snowy grouper.   The captain and passenger were within their legal limit of 1 snowy grouper per person per day.  Before completing their inspection, the officers searched a cooler under the center console seat and discovered another snowy grouper.  The captain of the vessel was issued a citation for being over the daily bag limit of snowy grouper.

Officers Adams and Piekenbrock were patrolling the Key West harbor at night when they saw a dingy operating without running lights. A records check of the operator revealed that he had an open warrant for a marijuana charge out of Monroe County. Also, the operator demonstrated signs of impairment prompting the officers to perform field sobriety tests. The operator failed the tests and as such was arrested for boating under the influence. During the subsequent search the officers discovered the operator was in possession of marijuana. The subject was transported to the Stock Island Jail for processing.

Officer Dion concluded a lengthy investigation into the abandonment of 4 vessels in the waters off of Key West. As a direct result of the investigation one subject was arrested after allowing the vessels in question to fall into disrepair

truck39
[Shallow Wells] The contention surrounding the shallow wells is a dilemma. When the question of possible pollution when Using the shallow wells FKAA arranged to have an independent test done to find out. The results did not show that it was safe to use the shallow wells but there was evidence of possible problems with using shallow wells. The old unlined landfill next to the wells is seeping toxics into the adjoining water. This is inside National Wildlife Refuge. The potential for an environment disaster is real. The FKAA, Monroe County. BOCC, and numerous state and federal agencies are also aware of this potential for disaster and they choose to ignore the possibility. Then there is the State mandate. Now a question comes up. Who’s laws supersedes? The U.S. Gov. Or the State of Florida? And why is the final word on the whole thing the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers standing there with its head in the sand? And naturally the good taxpayers of Monroe County will get stuck with the bill. And nobody will go to jail.
fawn-scratching00[“How come key deer don’t have ticks or fleas”] Some do have ticks and fleas. I have seen one deer that was loaded from its hoofs up to it’s belly with crawling fleas. The hair is thicker on most other parts of the deer and the insects are not seen. The deer didn’t seem to be annoyed about it. One more reason to not touch the Key deer! The fleas or ticks may jump on you too!
Anti-Monsanto demonstration in D.C. was surprised by pro-GMO counter demonstrators. Link
army corp of engineers logo[Army Corps of Engineers never OK’d document bearing its logo] A purported U.S. Army Corps of Engineers document, prepared by the Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority and used by Monroe County in applications related to the Cudjoe Regional Wastewater System, was never endorsed by the Corps.

“It was not authored by the Jacksonville Corps of Engineers, despite the logo that was on there,” Corps spokesman John Campbell said last week. Link

“You’re going to hell!”
“What’s in hell?”
“People like you.”
“What’s in heaven?”
“People like me.”
“You need to work on your threats.”
cookie tray
You know someone makes a good cookie when five years after leaving the Keys, I still order these Vegan Dream cookies and have them shipped to South Carolina. Stop by the Good Food Conspiracy and try them for yourselves. They are the bomb diggity and I’m not even vegan!
[Service] Today is the day to spark up a Fatty in tribute to the 7% of Americans who were stupid enough to believe all the Gov. BS and sign the blank check, put on the military uniform so that 100% of Americans could feel that they’re free. And when it was all over, if they made it back, realize that the Government was lying to them all along. It wasn’t worth it.  Signed, Stupid for 30 years.
Capisce
[Shallow Wells]
Finally someone is writing about what they tried to shove down our throats. Link
I propose, in the public interest, a poll of the locals as their thoughts on the government of Monroe County. Propose the following questions:
Do you think you’re getting your tax dollars spent in your best interest?
Do you think the BOCC are acting it your best interests or the influence peddlers’.
Do you think that you’re being told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth by your elected county officials?
Do you think that the BOCC make the moral and ethical decisions or are they influenced by the bottom line?
Do you trust your elected officials?
Do you actually think that BOCC actually care what the votes think or want?
In the immortal words of a former elected Congressman Peter Deutch when commenting on the overwhelming defeat of the sanctuary by us voters:
“You people don’t know what’s good for you so we [the government] will make the decision for you.”
Sounds like the tail wagging the dog.
guitar heavy
Who played lead guitar on Chicago’s “25 or 624”. It is fitting that a song about LSD has one of the best psychedelic electric guitar leads in rock and roll.

Chicago 25 Or 6 To 4

Thank goodness you fixed that “FRAUDULOUS” posting. I’m assuming ‘fraudulous’ means it was fake and false too.
from-the-wrong13
I like the new do-it-yourself National Politics section of bigpinekey.com, but where’s FTR?
Noooooooooo!  Ed, the political rants are creeping back in. For all that is sacred don’t change back. That is all
tick99
[“Key deer don’t have fleas or ticks”
] Wrong, not only do they have both, the ticks can infect you with Lyme Disease. A key deer buck (white-tailed deer subspecies) in Florida may weigh only 50 pounds. Control and management of deer Link
Gad, if Wednesday’s weirdoes-only CT is anything like what drove Ed to almost taking that big jump off his bar stool, the CT probably will be short lived again
drunk kicked out of bar
The hardest part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk or just stupid!
The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30.
memorial day flagNaval Air Station Key West will join the Navy League Key West Council and American Legion Post 28 in marking the nation’s Memorial Day holiday at two ceremonies Monday morning.
At 9 a.m., the Navy League will hold their annual ceremony at the Maine Memorial in the Key West City Cemetery. NAS Key West Commanding Officer Capt. Steve McAlearney will be the guest speaker and the air station Honor Guard will render a 21-gun rifle salute.
At 11 a.m., American Legion Post 28 will host their annual Memorial Day Service at the Southern Keys Cemetery on Big Coppitt Key. McAlearney will be the featured speaker and the NAS Key West Honor Guard will also participate in a traditional ceremony.
Memorial Day observances are free and the public is encouraged to attend and honor our nation’s service members who paid the ultimate price for our freedoms today
An open letter to law enforcement. Link
white flies-tomato
My tomato plant has white flies. What can I do about it? And after I do whatever people suggest, can I safely eat the tomatoes?
[Threat] If someone takes my trailer or my boat or anything else from Tortuga Lane on No Name Key be prepared to go to jail or be shot. There is no sale nor will there be!
fat25It May Be Time To Diet If:
Your dancing causes the CD to skip.
You’re diagnosed with a flesh-eating virus and the doctor gives you twenty years to live.
You put mayonnaise on your aspirin.
Your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”
You were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
You could sell shade.
When you ran away, your picture took up all four sides of the milk carton.
Your blood type is Ragu.
At the zoo, elephants throw you peanuts.
You have to use the bathroom mirror for one side at a time.
You started to use the food tray as your dish.
Your belt buckle is still on the floor after you reached the center loop.
The heels on your shoes are bent
You buy clothes at Omar the Tent Maker
medal of freedom
Yogi Berra
is under consideration for a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Here’s a link to the petition. Link
[Iraq Army] We Americans shelled out twenty billion dollars to train the Iraqi Army only to have them run away when someone shots at them. They also abandoned their munitions and equipment to be used by the enemy.
Armadillo-StoryAn armadillo’s armor is so strong that when a man in Georgia tried to kill one with a 9mm pistol, the bullet ricocheted, hit a fence, went into a mobile home, blew through a recliner, and shot his mother-in-law in the back.
[Grants] United Way of the Florida Keys has announced that it will distribute a total of $155,000 in grants to 15 nonprofit agencies in 2015-16. “It’s our generous donors throughout the Keys who make these grants possible,” said Kate Bauer-Jones, UWFK President / CEO. “We’re very proud to be partnering with nonprofit agencies providing such critical services to our Keys neighbors in need.”

The 15 agencies were among 17 that applied for funding in one of three United Way focus areas: access to nutritious food for people in critical need; early childhood or after-school care with an educational or positive behavioral component; or safety net services, including information and referral or short-term emergency response. 2015-16 grant recipients providing access to nutritious food include:
Burton Memorial United Methodist Church – $15,000 for the Daily Bread food pantry
Domestic Abuse Shelter – $4,000 for food for children in shelter
Florida Keys Children’s Shelter – $14,000 for the food fund for children
Florida Keys Outreach Coalition – $8,000 for Loaves and Fish pantry and residential meals program
Independence Cay – $8,000 for the soup kitchen and community garden
Keys Area Interdenominational Resources (KAIR) – $15,000 for its food pantry
Monroe Association for ReMARCable Citizens (MARC) – $5,000 for Food and Individual Training (FIT)
Star of the Sea Outreach Mission – $25,000 for a Keys-wide food distribution program
Wesley House Family Services – $10,000 for the Inez Martin Nutritional Backpack Program

ufo-on-tape
[UFO] Blacker than the night, the wedge penetrated the darkness. An F 117 raced by, the roar from its engines screaming through the interior of the chopper, and then it sliced away a piece of sky and disappeared into the void. This UFO was caught on tape.
[Shallow Wells] DEP and FKAA’s own consultants both told them independently in 2008 that a deep well was required, and DEP told them shallow wells often don’t work. (nobody mentioned that). But the BOCC is saying if DEP permitted it, it can’t be so bad. There are some engineers at DEP with some sense and some responsibility, but they are apparently not in management.
scuba diving cave
[Underwater] This is in HD, 3D. I hope your computer can view it that way. One of the best videos ever! Dakuwaqa’s Garden – Underwater footage from Fiji & Tonga. The Ocean as you have never seen it. Video
Without music, life would be a mistake.
coward lion[The Coward on No Name Key] I don’t know who that is but I do know when you write to the code enforcement dept. and tell them that your neighbor’s house should be condemned so you can buy it at a cheap price, that is a coward. When you turn your neighbor in for working on his house without a permit just to hurt him that is a coward.
[Fresh Fish] One of the hardest things to get in a Keys restaurant is fresh, local seafood. Truth is, the local resources have been pretty much depleted, and with the number of tourists we have here today, the only way to serve them seafood is to import it (shush, don’t tell them)
jack daniels
[Meet Jack Daniel: History in a Bottle] It occurred to me recently that outside of the iconic square bottle with the black label marked “Old No. 7,” most guys don’t know a lot about Jack Daniel. Like many other distillers, particularly those in the age before multi-billion dollar liquor conglomerates, Jack is a fascinating guy to learn about. Link
Monsanto is developing a chemical that finds the Dumb Gene in the DNA of humans and attacks it to sterilize that individual. I am all for this except that in a few years I may have no one to talk to.
bacon-pineapple
Bacon wrapped pineapple stuffed with boneless ribs
. What a time to be alive!
The Conch Tour Train ride from Hail. Link
memorial day teddy bear salute
Happy Memorial Day
to all the veterans.  Remembering the fallen. Thank you for my freedom. Peace now!
B B King and Willie NelsonNight Life. No one could roar like B.B. Also I think it’s dumb for Willie to play that rickety old guitar. It sounds like hell. Big deal.
Submit anything of a positive nature, but no national politics or sewer stuff unless it’s breakthrough stuff to island@bigpinekey.com