Monday, March 9, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

(Ed: Many of you are not able to view the current Coconut Telegraph. The only viewers having trouble are those who have been to this site before. New visitors are not having the problem. I’m working on it.)
skeleton fish
[Sanctuary
] After we’ve obviously been on the way to cleaning out the ocean of all sea life for as long as we have been around it, some people saw what was coming and created the marine Sanctuary concept to try and save some of it for the future.  What could possibly be wrong with that idea?  It follows that they have to put the thing somewhere where it matters and unfortunately, with all the people around here now, someone will have to give up their favorite fishing hole and find another one.
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Queen sleeper sofa. Plaid-green/rust/gold. Paid $1,200 new. Cudjoe Key. $150. Call Classified Ads > Furniture
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Tarpon Fishing[Eating tarpon.  Trash fish?]  Tarpon are edible but not preferred as an eating fish.  Much like Carp.  Even though they feed on smaller fish and crabs etc. they just do not come up to the flavor level of our native game fish such as snapper, grouper, dolphin,  cobia, wahoo etc.  Tarpon fishing is catch and release for the sport of catching a 100+ pound fish and fighting it for 45 minutes or more, getting it to the boat where you release it to live again another day. You can buy a tarpon tag for your fishing license allowing you to take one tarpon for record game fish purposes but why bother.  As a responsible fisherman, I never take a fish I don’t want to eat and never take more than I can eat in one or two days without freezing.  Let the Silver Kings go to fight another day
Well it’s Monday, so here’s a little video to brighten up your day. Asteroid Impact Great Gig On The Sky –Pink Floyd
sanctuary9[Sanctuary] Correct me if I am wrong, but if I recall correctly the original Sanctuary management plan was implemented in July of 1997 and three years later the Tortugas was added so there has really only been one change in 18 years.  Fishermen might want to blame the Sanctuary for continually taking away your fishing grounds and continually changing the rules to your determent, but I think you are confusing agencies.Here is the link. I’m not sure anything  of substance changed in 2007. With that said, the best way to prevent the Sanctuary from taking away fishing grounds is to get involved!  Link
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Payment for your FKAA Grinder Pump Easement! Have you been coerced into signing over a perpetual easement on your property to FKAA under threat of having to install and maintain a troublesome grinder pump station of FKAA’s choosing at your own expense? Do you resent that strong arm tactics have been used to take away your property and privacy rights without fair compensation? Do you resent that the saleability and hence value of your property has been reduced by the fact or threat of having a sewage pump station installed in your yard? A lawsuit is pending to recover damages! A low cost flat rate legal fee has been negotiated with a skilled eminent domain attorney, and all participants can share the cost of this inverse condemnation suit. With a few hundred participants, the cost is really, really cheap- like a few drinks at the bar. An individual jury trial at no additional cost determines your damages and you pocket the full value of the award. FKAA pays for our attorney’s time for the jury trial portion. If you don’t yet have a grinder pump installed, it is already cheaper to put the pumps in the road since DEP testified that 10 States Standards do not apply if the system is based on grinders.(They had to say that because the design does not meet minimum standards and therefore is illegal otherwise) If you already have a grinder installed, it’s going to be cheaper for FKAA to move it off your property than to pay for your damages and full cost of a jury trial. Dump the Pumps, Inc is not a party to the suit but is coordinating participation as a public service. Full details coming soon or attend the next meeting or supply your email to get the announcement and request to be counted. No obligation until they get a head count of participants and get a firm value for the share to participate. Make FKAA pay for what they stole or are stealing! You should not have to subsidize construction cost any more than the next person or have unwanted County machinery forever in your yard! Link
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Harrison Ford crash.
John Yates is a commercial fisherman. In 2007, he was fishing off the coast of Florida when state fish and wildlife officers – helping to enforce federal rules – boarded his boat. They looked at his catch of over three thousand fish, determined that seventy-two red grouper were too small, and issued Yates a state civil citation. However, when Yates returned to port and officials inspected his catch again, they found only sixty-nine (instead of seventy-two) undersized fish; one of Yates’s crew members told federal officials that Yates had instructed them to throw the smaller fish overboard and replace them with bigger fish.Three years later, Yates was charged with violating the Sarbanes-Oxley Act by destroying the undersized fish to “impede, obstruct, and influence the investigation and proper administration of the catching of” undersized red grouper. He was convicted and sentenced to thirty days in prison, followed by three years of supervised release. A federal appeals court upheld his conviction, and in late March of this year the Supreme Court agreed to review his case. Judgment reversed and case remanded. Ginsburg, J., announced the judgment of the Court and delivered an opinion, in which Roberts, C. J., and Breyer and Sotomayor, JJ., joined. Alito, J., filed an opinion concurring in the judgment. Kagan, J., filed a dissenting opinion, in which Scalia, Kennedy, and Thomas, JJ., joined.Keys people can fight and win against the unfair treatment of fishermen and people who make their livings off the water. Please read this case. Link
sanctuary2When the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary was first proposed in the late 1980s, the plan faced stiff opposition from local residents and fishermen who were concerned about overzealous fishing restrictions and miles of closed fishing areas. It seems that those concerns were right on target.  Down with the Sanctuary!
If the state wants to give money to support a federal mission then all state tax payers should pay for it. Not just property owners in host communities.  Let everyone in Florida reimburse BB for the ad valorem taxes it should pay.
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Key West ought to slap a metal covered hip roof over that police station and cut our losses.
well9[Sewerage Wells] I think that if there is any chance at all that deep sewage wells are even just a little bit better than shallow wells, then use them.  We deserve the best system possible for now and  the future of the Keys.   Common sense says that the deeper you shoot that crap down into the ground, the less chance there will be for it rising back up to the surface.
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ear listen
Mystery ‘noise’
could be an Earth-like world: Strange signals suggest habitable planet exists 22 light years away. Link
Another great Fred Neil song. This one is by the tragic Tim Buckley, who died maybe a year after this. The song is about Fred’s fascination with dolphins which lead him to live out his days in the lower Keys. Somehow it all seems tragic to me. Tim, Fred, dolphins and the state of the reef and aquatic life. Maybe it’s just the world. Video
fanci10-16-14
Our garbage has not been picked up for more than a week now. A call to Commissioner Nugent’s no-bid contract buddies at Waste Management resulted in being on hold for half an hour followed by an announcement that the office had closed.
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[Laissez Boys in Tuxes] OK all you old farts, your tricked out golf carts are cool, but I think this is the way to go. Video
Small apartment or mobile home wanted.  Single professional woman, employed, responsible, no parties, alcohol or drugs.  Long time Keys resident moving back from the mainland.  Prefer a small downstairs apt. or single-wide for lease.  Contact  Classified Ads > Situation Wanted
Radio-Shack10.31.14
[Police Body Cameras] Terrific idea! The cameras need to be operational for live feeds by the next Fantasy Fest. That way the desk folks at KWPD can watch also.
shell9[“Shellopoly in BPK/Ramrod/Summerland”] I’m not sure why the prices are higher than middle and even Big Coppitt, so our answer is ‘boycott’. Many of us locals are doing the same, it’s the poor tourists who are getting gouged. It’s a shame, but it’s economics, and people should vote with their wallets. Not sure about all the claims about cheating, but hopefully karma will prevail (what goes around, comes around).
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[Garbage] It seems they changed the pickup days and didn’t bother to tell anyone on our street.
Isaksen11.5.14
[“The Grateful Dead’s music”] Through the 2nd half of the 70s and part of the 80s I had friends that called themselves Deadheads. Traveling around and counting the concerts they would see. None of them had jobs, all of them smoked weed, & most of them accomplished dick in life. I always thought their music sucked and I would laugh when I would read about all of the people getting busted for weed or acid at Grateful Dead shows. I think most of them just wanted to be part of something, well, they were. The biggest loser club that know very little about music that I know of. Now I see that the Dead is doing one last gig or tour. zzzzzzzzzz please. I can also remember the day Jerry Garcia died. I remember it because I was at the Garden State Arts Center at a Jeff Beck and Santana concert when they announced it. Now, that’s music!
[Gun Nut] Except for a Game Warden or someone who lives in the wilderness, there is no one on earth that needs a gun or any serious weapon besides a kitchen knife. But (and that is a big but), if you have one, I damn well will have one too!
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Police body cams
will be another expensive joke and another scam on our tax money because all the cops have to do is say, ‘I forgot to take the lens cap off!’
[Key West’s Fringe Theater] An irreverent reimagining of a real-life event, Orson’s Shadow depicts the backstage collision of rampaging egos as Laurence Olivier and Kenneth Tynan court Orson Welles to direct at the newly-created National Theater in London. Link
BP-Flea-Market10.10.14
To the poster in a spinning dither over European westward expansion: It was inevitable; human nature; manifest destiny. To the victor go the spoils. Under your Native American scenario logic, descendants of Homo Sapians already in Southern Europe hundreds of thousand of years ago after migrating from Africa should be trying to deport later migrations of humans from Africa hundreds of thousands of years ago. And does the tongue in cheek poster not know of the historicaly brutal nature of some native American tribes? Fighting for and taking over other tribe’s land and assimilating their cultures into their own? Once a culture is established, the idea is to protect it and this often means war and , hence, violence. Then, the vanquisher establishes rules; laws, and defenses that are designed to protect it from the ire of the vanquished and other would be challengers. The victor’s culture will prosper and the loser’s, decline. This will go on for ever. Again, human nature. I want to be on the winning side. By unwisely allowing illegal immigration into our established and legitimate culture we are destroying ourselves. Perhaps the angry American poster here should reverse his thinking and consider the legitimate population of America now as the Native American population centuries ago, and the invading crowds from Mexico and farther south as the expanding Europeans. I hope we win.
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balls2Two days ago, my left testicle started aching intermittently, which historically is a signal of something severely awry in the feminine – left is the feminine side of a person’s body. Historically, such ache indicated I had transgressed the feminine. But I wasn’t sure about that two days ago, nor even yesterday, when the ache got worse and became constant, making it rough for me to ride my bicycle, and to sit down on the ground, or on a bench, and get back up.
I saw a white-haired guy on a moped fly like a fat bat through a stop sign in front of the new CVS on Stock Island. When I passed him on U.S. 1 I noticed it was one of our Key West City commissioners. Way to set the proper example for the rest of us law-abiding citizens!
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[50 Shades of Grey?] Back and  forth . . . . Back and forth . . . .In  and out . . . . In and out . . . .A little to the right . . . .A  little to the left . . . .She could feel the sweat on her forehead .  . . .Between her breasts . . . . And, trickling down the small of  her back . . . .She was getting near to the end. He was in  ecstasy . . . . with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved . . .  Forwards then backwards. Forward then backward. Again . . . .  and, again . . . .Her heart was pounding now . . . .Her face was  flushed . . . .She moaned . . . . softly at first, then began to  groan louder . . . .Finally . . . . totally exhausted . . . . she  let out a piercing scream . . . .”OK, OK, you  smug bastard, I can’t parallel park. You do it!”
bill9
[Realtors] If you’re going to take a person’s listing. You need to answer the phone when it rings or at the very least give a timely call back. Nothing more frustrating than wanting to look at a home only to find out that you can’t get hold of the agent or their team of assistants.
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2002 Chrysler Sebring, blue with black top. Sporty convertible that has been garage kept on mainland. It is an EC. $5,000. Classified Ads > Autos
kindle9Lost Kindle in red zippered case somewhere on Overseas Hwy between MM 31 and MM30. This is the third one he has had and wife is getting pissed. If found please call. Classified Ads > Lost and Found
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half mast
Students at Calif. college vote to ban the American flag. Love it or leave it! Link
If Comm. Neugent is so concerned about the environment, the ocean surrounding these islands, the plight of the fishing industry why did he, D. Rice, & S Murphy vote to fund the cheapest, most controversial, and most likely shall-cause-disastrous-results-to-the-environment sewer system? Is it so that the three of you could divert $19 million that the voters passed to fund a quality ecologically safe system? One that you and the BOCC initially advertised to the public as being gravity. I sat in a public meeting where Kurt Zelch publicly stated that FKAA would build any system the county would fund. You and your two conspirators choose to go cheap and raid the sewer fund thereby risking the environment you claim to be protecting.
Springers12.9.14
I fish to put a fresh catch on the grill. it’s that simple.
[Ideology] Where are the peaceful Muslims? They are irrelevant. Video
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[Round House] If you want to see an abortion of a building in Google Earth type in: 276 Colson Dr, Cudjoe Key, FL, 33042
[Dunning–Kruger Effect] Ever wonder why FTR is so smart and so right about so many things? The answer is here: The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias wherein unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly assessing their ability to be much higher than is accurate. This bias is attributed to a metacognitive inability of the unskilled to recognize their ineptitude. Conversely, highly skilled individuals tend to underestimate their relative competence, erroneously assuming that tasks which are easy for them are also easy for others.[1]As David Dunning and Justin Kruger of Cornell University conclude: “The miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others.”
johnsons-7.9.14
[God Is Protecting The Environment] “God is still up there, and He promised to maintain the seasons and that cold and heat would never cease as long as the earth remains…The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, would be able to change what He is doing in the climate is to me outrageous. ~Republican Senator Jim Inhofe,  newly appointed chairman of the Environment and Public Works Committee
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kari[Sloan’s new honey] “BATTERY – TOUCH OR STRIKE, MOVING TRAFFIC VIOL – RECKLESS DRIVING FIRST OFFENSE, DAMAGE PROP-CRIM MISCH – $200 TO UNDER $1000, DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE (DUI), BATTERY – TOUCH OR STRIKE, BATTERY – TOUCH OR STRIKE, DISORD CONDUCT – BREACH OF PEACE, AGG BATT – USES A DEADLY WEAPON, WITH INTENT TO COMMIT A FELONY.”Yep, I’m dating someone who is not stuck in the first dimension, like most people. Refreshing.She did shoot a loud frog with her then aging, ailing boyfriend’s Colt Python .44 magnum, and she did later aim the gun, unloaded, at a deadbeat tenant, who kept not paying his rent, and told him to hit the road and the braveheart dialed 911.She says her fellow before that, David Dangler, scammed FEMA out of $157,000,000 after Hurricane Katrina, and made off with $30 + million of it to Central America, where he ended getting murdered, she heard. Karma’s a bitch.

That was after he had divorced her, and had been awarded custody of their young daughter, after a licensed health professional had testified that the daughter had said her father and she took showers together. The male judge, who awarded custody to David Dangler, was up Plantation Key way.

Unlike you weenies on the Coconut Telegraph, and the weenie who runs it, who is my good friend, even though he is a weenie, Kari Dangler ain’t afraid to put her name on what she says.

Her aged, ailing fellow on Key Largo died while she was in the county jail, for pointing the empty .44 magnum at the deadbeat. He left everything to his children, so when Kari was released from the county jail on probation, she had no place to live and was stranded in Key West and started staying at Keys Overnight Temporary Shelter

The best way to stop spam and junk email is to put the FCC, FDA and FTC CEO’s email addresses on the junk stuff you receive. Let them have a taste of this crap!
hareens 12.2.14
[Joke Police] Friday’s alligator joke was another ripoff of the Grizzly Bear joke from AK. Why do you people clam your 15 seconds of BS fame by rewriting other great jokes? Shame on you!
kids phoneIt looks like the iPhone has replaced the water bottle has the one fashion status accessory that one cannot be seen without when out and about.  Clearly the human species needs to evolve a third arm so people can tote both items and still perform necessary physical tasks.   I am sure, given enough time and if we last that long, Mother Nature will adapt us to that behavior.
[Unedited] PATTIE DeGROOD ~~~ BIG PINE KEY~~~~~ . I missed u end of feb@ old address ave. E~~~~~ aldyth and warren have my phone # plez call asap primo13420@ gmail.com~~~~~~ JEANNINE~~~~~ lost my friend 20 years ago.just stopped by her old address. i ran into her old next door neighbors ALDYTH & WARREN ave E , BIG PINE KEY ~~~~~~~PATTIE DEGROOD( MEYERS) from DETROIT MI> me ;JEANNINE from chicago @1975 kentucky derby LOOKING 4 U i’m ready 2 move back 2 sunshine . i hate the 9 mo. of rain here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~503 875 7335~~~~
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HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT? Are you kidding or what? Anyone dumb enough not to see what is going down in this country should be deported for fear of spreading their brain is suffering from. Voting, as if it really mattered anyway, is the joke of the century and the so called candidates are the lowest form of mutated cash cow lover there is. Hillary is not sane, not an real American and sure as hell is working with BO to f**k up our country into a NWO commie prison. wake up morons!
Hillary has a long history of being a liar going back to when she was fired by her Democrat boss when she served on the panel investigating Watergate and Nixon. She was once called a “congenital liar” by a liberal columnist at the Washington Post.
ANYBODY BUT HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT!
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70% of American Jews know it and tend to vote Democratic. Lets see if that holds true in our next election
Just a short while ago a poster on the C.T. told us the government was one of the leading job market fields. They were telling us how terrible this was and that the private sector should have been leading they way instead of the Public sector. I ran across some figures that proved that bit of rhetoric was not the truth. Im sure there will be some reason i.e. the liberal media or President Obama will have personally fixed the figures but the resource used is the labor Dept. and I don’t think they are a partisan entity. Heres the figures reported.

Industry February 2015 January 2015 Past 12 months
Construction 29,000 49,000 321,000
Manufacturing 8,000 21,000 208,000
Retail 32,000 27,800 318,900
Transportation, warehousing 18,500 1,000 192,200
Information (Telecom, publishing) 7,000 5,000 59,000
Financial services 10,000 22,000 150,000
Professional services (Accounting, temp work) 51,000 10,000 660,000
Education and health 54,000 46,000 539,000
Hotels, restaurants, entertainment 66,000 39,000 527,000
Government 7,000 2,000 87,000
Source: Labor Department
Sometimes even 1/4 truths seems out of reach.
from the right
Sex, lies, and video tape has absolutely nothing to do with this posting, but we are getting screwed by Democratic economic theory.chart hold upLast Friday’s monthly job report from the Bureau of Labor Stats is being touted in liberal circles as being proof that liberalism has rescued our economy. They cite the fact that for the 12th straight month BOLS has reported substantial job gains. They tout the fact that the unemployment rate is now 5.5%.When you take the time to actually look at and think about their stats, you must realize that that is magical thinking. The reality is bleak.BOLS claims the addition of 295,000 new hires, yet the net number of people actually employed only increased by 96,000.

The employment/population ratio remains unchanged, it has not been this low for over 35 years.

The “Not in labor force” number has increased substantially. This increase wipes out the miniscule decline in the unemployment rate.

A record 56,023,000 women, age 16 years and over, were not in the labor force in February. Not only was that a record high, but it’s also the first time the number has exceeded 56 million.

The recession began in December of 2007, after only 12 months of a Democrat controlled congress. It ended in June 2009. We have suffered Democrat governance since then. It’s been 6 agonizing years, and still we are struggling. Since December of 2007, native born Americans have suffered a net loss of jobs, but the foreign born population has seen net job growth.

Even though corporate profits have nearly tripled, and stock prices have soared the number of Americans receiving food stamps remains 45 percent higher than when the president first took office, and the rate of home ownership has dropped by 3.2 percentage points, to the lowest point in nearly 20 years

Wages ticked up by only 0.1 percent. Over the past year, they’ve grown 2 percent. Thanks to falling oil prices, which have lowered inflation, real wage growth is positive over the past year. But that’s weak. Wages must grow at a 3 to 4 percent rate to keep up with both inflation and productivity growth. We’re still not even close to that.

The December 2014 median income of $54,417 was 1.5 percent lower than the median of $55,228 in June 2009, the end of the recent recession and beginning of the “economic recovery.” We still are going backward. Can you afford that? Remember that if the middle class doesn’t make more money, they don’t spend more money. That is why our economy is not growing as it should. Link

begger9Since 2007, under Democrat governance, the ranks of the wealthy have expanded, their individual wealth has exploded. The ranks of the poor have exploded. But the middle class has dramatically declined in numbers and in personal wherewithal. Federal Reserve survey data show families in the middle fifth of the income scale now earn less and their net worth is lower than when Obama took office. Middle class income levels are back to 1995 levels.

There is no sex involved, no romance, but America and especially the middle class is getting royally screwed by Democrat principles of governance.