Friday, November 7, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

bus highway
New bus schedule
on bulletin board. The Key West Bus service enhancement and several route modifications including time schedule changes will begin November 17. They now have much more accommodating times and fixed some of the 3-4 hour gaps we previously had. Business Directory > Transportation
Phil-Goodman11.5.14
We just bought a house on BPK. Can we swim in the canals? What’s the fun things to do? Is Eden Pines a good neighborhood? Haven’t met many people here and I’m just trying to get the lay of the land. So far I’m pretty good at avoiding Key Deer and visiting the Winn Dixie. Any advice?
Marijuana-Posters
More Floridians voted for medical pot than for triumphant Gov. Rick Scott. Link
[“Neugent’s out of touch”] Neugent’s email: “This group [Dump the Pumps] has not made any effort to use the local platform(s) of the BOCC or FKAA to civilly discuss the facts of the issue but rather gin up the uneducated.”

How quickly Commissioner Neugent has forgotten all those public meeting we attended and where we all spoke out. Maybe if he had “made any effort to use the local platform(s)” he would be more in touch with his constituents instead of hiding behind the BOCC rostrum. How many public meetings where there — ten? How many did he attend? These were his constituents whom he continues to ignore

Coconuts-sign-ad-750w
[“Backing Up is a Pain in the HDD”] It shouldn’t be. There are many automated backup systems of various kinds including built in Windows Backup and System Restore Images. BlueRay for many users really only has to be done as a archival method for files that have value and won’t expire (music, movies etc). Also how can you restore your operating system configuration to a machine when everything is on the cloud? Plus the upload and download speeds are terrible, especially if you move elsewhere or stuck using a slow Internet service. Check out this list of the best free software for Windows. Local backups are clearly superior unless you have a particular need to access certain files from multiple online machines. The cloud should never be used for backup. Link
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kotex7
New use for cotton.
[“Sloan Bashinsky, former candidate“] AKA sour grapes.
Springers-ad-750w
[Joke Friday] The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub just outside the Air Force Base. A ragged old Naval Aviator, wearing his winged ball cap, was standing near the edge with a fishing rod, his line in the puddle.
A curious young Air Force fighter pilot stopped and asked what he was doing.
‘Fishing,’ the old guy simply said.
‘Poor old fool,’ the Air Force officer thought; and he invited the ragged old Naval aviator into the pub for a drink. As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the haughty fighter pilot asked, “…and how many have you caught?”
“You’re the eighth,” the old Naval Aviator answered.
hat7
Fashion beats function
and common sense.
Thanks for posting the photo of Barry Rillera with Ray Charles. It led me to a long overdue visit to his website. It has a nice, brief bio and now it is possible to listen to his CD as well. Link
johnsons-7.9.14
[Grammarian]  “She went missing” was conceived by the same person that said “he up and died”.
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exercise smurf
Hi, could I please have my business added to the site? Full Circle Wellness 305-942-1480. We have Yoga, Dance, Zumba, Tai Chi, and Fitness on Big Pine Key. Thanks! ~Jolie Wilson, owner of Full Circle Wellness . Business Directory > Health
[“Place on the water to have a beer”] People, please don’t advertise the few places left that aren’t infested with snowbirds and tourists.
hareens-hats10.19.14
[“To live and let live”] Don’t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
algebra7
[Friday Joke] A fighter pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his new Apple watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art Apple watch, and I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?” The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.” The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?” “Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies, “Well, it must be broken because I am wearing panties!” The fighter pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Darn thing’s an hour fast.”

holy-water7
I go to the flea market because every now and then, you see something that you would never see anywhere else. Something for everyone.
Yard sale Friday & Saturday 8am to 2pm. Tools, toys, fitness equipment, Bowflex, lots of clothes, household items, jewelry, lawn furniture, motorcycle parts, electrical, plumbing, nuts and bolts, and much more. Follow Key Deer Blvd towards the Blue Hole, left on Palm Ave, left on Bittersweet, right on Marigold Dr, 1st house on right.
bluewater-750w
[“Round house”] So why do people like the round house builder have to make that choice to screw over the rest of that neighborhood instead of moving to some desolate place so no one will bitch and moan about that abortion next to them. Live and let live my ass. Defend your rights, you were here first! So much for the rules and regulations of that has-been community!
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kestral7
I think this little raptor is a Kestrel, but am not sure what kind. None of the photos and descriptions I found were a good match. He’s about the size of a pigeon. Would a skilled birdwatcher identify him from the photo? He was beside the Cudjoe transfer station access road. There are several hawks and falcons of different species frequenting the area, which makes it a dangerous no-fly zone for smaller birds.
The company CVS that fills your prescriptions has no idea what they are doing. I took a prescription in there and she said that there were three different pills so she would have to call the doctor to find out which one. I have been taking this one for 30 years. No one has ever asked that question before. So I took it to Winn Dixie and they said that she was wrong, There are only one. How do they stay in business?
Nira-Tocco-6.14
[“Went missing”] That is simply a colloquialism. It is ok. Live in the UK as I have a while and you won’t believe they are even speaking English.
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party animal2
Springer’s Bar & Grill 2nd Anniversary
. This Sunday, November 9th. Join Us for this Special Day – Celebrate our 2nd Anniversary

Free Jello Shots, 50 Cents Wings, $10 Pepperoni Pizza, Lots of Giveaways, Happy Hour from 2pm – 6 pm

We’ll see you at 31251 Avenue A on Big Pine Key.

[New Homes Available] Habitat for Humanity of Key West & Lower Florida Keys has two homes available for application: 3-bedroom on Big Pine Key & 2-bedroom on Big Coppitt Key. Orientation/Application for Homeownership Meetings are Thursday, November 13, 2014 Habitat ReStore Conference Room, Big Pine Key 1:00 pm and 7:00 pm   The Conference room is on the 2nd floor of the ReStore. There is no handicap access. Friday, November 14, 2014 Unity Church, 1011 Virginia St., Key West 1:00 pm and 7:00 pm. This meeting is handicap accessible. Pre-registration is required. Email Volunteer@HabitatLowerKeys.org or call (305) 294-9006. Events
accurate-home-insp-750w
[“Round house”] So many of you don’t know the first thing about the American way. You can build anything you’d like as long as there are no design restrictions in your area like Key West has. It’s a fight that never could be won. There’s no accounting for bad taste, but there is not a single thing you can do about it. Freedom of choice.
bass turtle[Slap Bass] The low, rootsy twang you can often hear in funk music is called slap bass – a tricky, often divisive guitar technique involving whacking the bass strings with your thumb. Comedian Mitch Benn charts its progression from the upright double basses of the 1930s, through Elvis Presley to the high energy rock of bands like Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Primus. Talking to players like Yolanda Charles, Mark King and Guy Pratt, he discovers how an instrument which often found its place at the back of the stage came out of the shadows into the bright lights of disco and ’70s funk. But Mitch is going to do more than talk about slap bass. He’s going to learn how to do it. Listen
[“Pot Heads”] Ever notice how many people that get arrested for stupid stuff also get a weed/drug charge? Stupid is as stupid does. What are you thinking, that it makes you smarter?
fanci10-16-14
I have my shopping list ready for Saturday and Sunday at the Flea Market. I just realized that I need a winter coat, since it got cold. Here in Big Pine, that means hooded sweatshirt that zips in front so it can be removed easy at noon when it’s hot. We love fishing this time of year so I need some of the shirts that are wind breakers, also polarized glasses. I also need tackle, hats, tee shirts, boat supplies and a new mask and flippers. My favorite part of the market is seeing all my neighbors there too. The best part is the produce. Last week the avocados were the best and there is nothing better than really good tomatoes.
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the-judge
I watched The Judge last night with Robert Duvall. Great film, check it out, you’ll like it too I’m sure. Trailer
[Report on Florida’s ‘Hidden Poor’] On Tuesday, November 11, Veterans Day, at noon, local United Ways throughout Florida will release the ALICE Report. ALICE stands for Asset Limited, Income Constrained, Employed. ALICE people earn more than the U.S. poverty line, but less than the basic cost of living. They are employed, often holding down two or more low-paying jobs, and are getting by, barely. All it would take is one emergency–a serious illness, an expensive car repair, a damaging storm—for them to spiral into poverty. The ALICE report contains cost analyses of basic household expenses like housing, food, child care, and health care for all 67 counties in Florida, including Monroe, and compares these costs with household incomes. Based on these figures, the report estimates that 36% of households in Monroe County are in the ALICE category. Combining this statistic with the 12% of Monroe households that are at poverty level or below, the report concludes that a shocking 48% of Keys households are struggling to afford basic needs.
Radio-Shack10.31.14
[Joke Friday] The Sensitivity Course For Men
Final Exam:

  1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
  2. Lovemaking.
  3. Screwing.
  4. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.
  5. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’ve both shared:
  6. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
  7. Your blood-test results.
  8. Five tequila slammers.
    3. You always time your orgasm so that:
  9. Your partner climaxes first.
  10. You both climax simultaneously.
  11. You do not miss Fox Sports Center.
  12. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
  13. Healthy, creative love-play.
  14. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
  15. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find out about their sister.
  16. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you’ve just had sex with is:
  17. The best part of the experience.
  18. The second best part of the experience.
  19. $100 extra.
  20. Your wife/girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
  21. Of no influence on your affection for her.
  22. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
  23. A conservative estimate.
    7. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:
  24. A myth.
  25. An oxymoron.
  26. A freakin’ fag.
  27. Foreplay is to sex as:
  28. An appetizer is to an entree.
  29. Primer is to paint.
  30. A slow barmaid at Happy Hour!.
  31. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
  32. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
  33. Is uptight and a waste of time.
  34. Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Evaluating Results:
-If you answered A more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you
really are a man.
-If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy. You’re a little
confused.
-If you answered C more than 7 times, you da man!

flower7
Flower shop sign.
[Commissioner] A big pat on the back to Grinder George for ignoring the facts. This would have been better found about a week ago or well before the grinder pump public hearings.
lower-keys-boat-rental11.4.14
[Joke Friday] The manager of an everything-under-one-roof store is showing a new employee the ropes. “Okay,” he says, “you said you have sales experience, that’s good. have you ever worked at a store like this though?”
The new guy says no. “Okay, so let me tell you about how things work here. You should try to get 20 to 30 sales a day and you can take any sales no matter what they’re buying; that’s about it. I’ll come back to see how you did at the end of the day, good luck.”
So the new guy goes about his day and at 5 PM the boss comes back. “Okay,” he says, “how many sales have you made?” The guy replies, “One.”
“One sale?!” The boss is infuriated.
“Yeah, just the one,” the salesman says.
“All of our other employees had over 45 sales today, how did you only have one. I thought you were experienced. Whatever, how much was it for?”
The salesman answers, “Something like $480,350.65.”
The boss is blown away. “500 thousand dollars?! What on earth did you sell?”
The salesman tells him, “I was talking to a guy and he mentioned his fishing not being that good, so I said he should get a new brand of bait. Then he said his fishing poles are crappy, so I got him to buy a new set. Then I asked if he had a boat to fish on, he said no, so I sold him one. Then he told me his Honda couldn’t pull the boat to water, so I sold him a new truck to haul the boat with.”
The manager says, mouth agape, “So let me get this straight. A guy walked in wanting to buy fishing bait and you sold him a boat and a truck?!”
The salesman replies “No, he walked in wanting to buy tampons for his wife and I said ‘dude, your weekend is shot, you should go fishing.”
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kesey7
[“Ken Kesey“] Thanks to whomever posted picture. I think I finally had one of those flash backs I was promised in the 60’s. What a long strange trip its been. All that happened in ’65, several years before it hit main stream. The real summer of love was in ’65, acid was still legal. R.I.P. you Merry Pranksters!
Sensitive to dairy foods? Lactose free Key Lime Pie recipe & more. Link
Isaksen11.5.14
[“PC security is a joke to the NSA”] Yes it is, but they got much bigger fish to fry and are not interested in business or personal sabotage. The 4th Amendment says: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.” .

If you put data into the cloud, or use a device that does automatically, like Apple’s do, then your giving up that right because your giving up possession and control over who can look or alter the data. Recently courts have started ruling in favor of users of smartphones because police were routinely stopping people and downloading the contents of their phones without a warrant. Turns out cops in California were busted trading nude pictures of females they pulled over. One cop in NYC was busted using the system to stalk women he wanted to cannibalize!

You may have nothing to fear from the NSA or the FBI, which deal with international or federal level crimes and typically very professional and mostly upstanding, however local law enforcement can be subverted by those in power just because of your political leaning, a sexual orientation, a church or union you attend. With your data on DropBox, any law enforcement or skilled hacker can access it. However if stored locally, they would have to risk physical exposure (breaking into your home or office) or meet the tougher requirements of actually getting a court warrant to search the premises and for that they need a good reason. For hackers, it’s a much harder to hack a PC sitting behind a dumb router that it is a server directly exposed to the Internet. Just look at what happened to the iCloud hack recently, easily brute forced and a copy of police software used to download the entire iPhone backup (of everything!).

One should think not “I don’t have anything to hide” but rather “What can be done maliciously to me?” because you certainly don’t want it all coming to light 3 years into a 10 year child porn possession sentence. Link

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drinking7
Why we need newspapers.
That odd-ball round house on Cudjoe Key looks like it’s too close to his neighbors house. Who measured the setbacks?
BP-Flea-Market10.10.14
[“Dion and the Belmonts”] Correct, The Wanderer was a song about a gigolo, but then his business fell off.
industrial-sewing-machine
Industrial sewing machine
. $600. Call Classified Ads > Tools
Does anyone know the effective range of one of the “No Parking” signs that have proliferated along the Highway?[?]
manley-deboer-7.11.14
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red-states7
My TV has been showing a lot of red the last two days. Is it the cable or my TV? Mostly I notice it after dark but not on all channels making me think it’s the cable. The FOX channel seems the worst but barely noticeable on NBC and others. This is a new situation so maybe it will go away.
I am a political agnostic. I Iike to think our Government could work but I’ll have to see it to believe it. I’ve voted in almost every election since 1976 and in all of that time I have never voted a straight party ticket. I my friends am like the majority of Americans. Tea party conservative Republicans do not have all of the answers and are not the majority. Left Wing liberal Democrats do not have all of the answers and are not the majority. I find myself to be liberal on many social issues and conservative when it comes to money. There are many like me there are many that are just the opposite. The problem many people have is this football team mentality of my side is always right. These People tend to be the loudest and are taking over their respective parties. Ladies and Gentleman please contact your Congressman, your Representative or even the President. Tell them what is really important to you. Make them work together. The answer my friends does not lay to the left or the right but more down the middle of the road
politics-zone-750w
Obama did such a great job in office all his toadies and rats are jumping off his sinking ship. I truly wanted him to be the guy they said he was. I figured he was a over paid mouthpiece and I was right
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When a leftist acquires political power…well, think of Washington as a 747 pilot station and the leftist as a four year old boy fascinated by the knobs, gauges and throttle. He can’t wait to play with them, and doesn’t see any connection between his playing and the passengers screaming.
from the right
Deer Friends, sorry but no FTR today. I had to make an all day pilgrimage to Ft. Lauderdale today. Just not enough time left to prep and write a post.  Have a great weekend, see you Monday……Ft, Lauderdale bites, and there are tons of crazies on US 1. It’s always a relief to get back to the rock. ~FTR