Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.
[Cuban Pewee] There is a little bird at the Blue Hole that is causing quite a stir! It’s called a Cuban Pewee and its very rare for our area! It hails from, you guessed, Cuba and the Northern Bahamas. It’s a very cute little Fly Catcher that has birders from all over the country “flocking” to Big Pine Keys’ Blue Hole to catch a glimpse and maybe a photo or 2. I was lucky enough today to do both. Who knows how long it will be here so if you get a chance, go see the little guy. Link |
[Free New 26 Quart Outdoor Cooker] Free to a good home. Plenty of room to deep fry your Thanksgiving turkey. Single burner propane fueled. Included is the burner, pot, handled basket, hose, and regulator. Box does not look new, but to my knowledge, the cooker has never been used. Just in time for Thanksgiving! Call (305) 515-2759 and leave a message. |
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The coin shortage we are experiencing is from people Wishing 2020 was over. |
| [Friday Joke] On a Friday afternoon a man calls home from the office and says to his wife, “Honey, the boss just asked me to go fishing for the weekend at a big lake up in Canada. This might help me get that promotion I’ve been wanting. So would you please pack enough clothes for me for a week and set out my rod and my tackle box? We’re leaving right from the office, but I’ll swing by the house to pick up my things. Oh! And would you please pack my blue silk pajamas?” The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife, she does exactly as her husband asks. Late Sunday night “hubby” comes home and he’s really tired. The wife welcomes him home and asks if he and his boss caught a lot of fish. “Oh, yes”, he answers. “Lots of Walleye, some Bluegill, and a few Pike. But, um, why didn’t you pack my silk pajamas as I asked you to do?” The wife replies, “Oh, but I did, sweetheart, they were in your tackle box.” |
[Security “Dogs”] Thought you might like to see the “new breed” of security dogs at Tyndall AFB in Florida. Video |
| [“Tuesday’s Van for sale”] It is such short-sightedness for the seller to post a partial picture of the van they are trying to sell. Was it too much trouble to show the whole thing? Or is there damage on the front and back? |
[Food or Not] Apparently PETA and Old Bay have been having a billboard battle in Maryland. So where is the Soylent Green billboard? |
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[Spalling Repair by jtpcrete inc] cracked concrete (spalling) is a big problem in the Keys. This damage was particularly difficult to repair because of the location and the aluminum shutters in the way. In the photos the new rebar is grey galvanize, and the old rebar (black) has been cleaned and then chemically treated to prevent rust from reappearing and causing more spalling. The whole repair is then concreted, and then stucco applied over the concrete and the repair disappears and the structure is as as good as new. |
| My wife’s female intuition is so well developed she sometimes knows I’m wrong before I even open my mouth. |
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[“Windiest month”] That depends on how they measure “most”. Is it the most windy days like May or the fastest wind speeds like November. |
| [Learning English is Hard] Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. Link |
[Boeing 737 Max] From what I see on todays news Boeing has received clearance for their 737 Max to fly – not tomorrow as there are a bunch of hoops to jump thru – but they can fly the plane – probably sometime sorta soon. BTW Boeing is considering re-naming the Max, because of the stigma (shame, disgrace, dishonor of the MAX name plus maybe because they killed 394 people). Nah, probably not. Yep, a new name will definitely make it safe to fly again. Good choice Boeing. |
| [Friday Joke] Andrew was so sick and tired of the world that he drove his car into his garage, then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car, wound down all the windows, selected his favorite radio station and started the car. Two days later, a worried neighbor, having heard music coming non-stop from the garage, peered through his window and saw him lying there in the car. She called 911. Police and ambulance attendants broke in and pulled Andrew from the car and out onto the lawn. Although somewhat dazed, a little sip of water and surprisingly he was in perfect condition. And his Chevy Volt showed 30% battery life remaining! |
[Social Distancing] We’ve been told that only 6 people are allowed to meet of Thanksgiving, 30 are allowed for a funeral. With this, I announce that we will be holding a funeral for our pet turkey that will pass away on November 26. Refreshments provided. In lieu of flowers please bring a side dish or dessert. |
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If 2020 was a car. |
| Slavery has come and gone. We can rest secure the chief cause, slavery, has been eradicated, except for pro sports like football, baseball, boxing, and any other that the low intels will pay to see. |
 [Civil War] The war was about slavery and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Every first-hand account of the lead up to war cites slavery as the issue and the Southern states’ rights to keep them. Lincoln talked about it always. The official reason for war was that the South falsely said the Constitution allowed states to drop out of the Union if they wished. But the acknowledged reason on both sides was slavery.
The most interesting fact of the war was that when the South fired on Fort Sumpter the confederacy was completely prepared for war, mobilized and equipped. The North was caught totally unprepared and had not even started mobilizing. The North was taken by surprise because they never thought the South would start a war. The South had been in a war-like state for a long time leading up to Fort Sumter. Conversely the majority of Northerners hadn’t taken the South’s complaints seriously. |
| [Government] All interactions with any government agency, on any level, takes forever! But when the Monroe County real estate taxes are due and can be paid on November 1st — bang, without fail, year after year, on Nov 1, right in your mail box, proud as can be, there they are—your new tax bill. Gotta love ’em. |
[Refuge’s Online Store] Florida Keys Wildlife Society Online Store now open. The non-profit organization Florida Keys Wildlife Society, the official Friends group for the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges, has opened an Online Store where you can purchase a selection of items including T-shirts (short-sleeved and long-sleeved) , tanks, hats, masks, tote bags and mugs. All proceeds from the Online Store benefit the Florida Keys Wildlife Society which in turn benefit the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges. Artwork and photos are by local artists and photographers. Thanks for supporting the Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges. Link |
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Be Thankful. Be Generous. Give Life. Give Blood. The best gift you can give this season does not cost you anything but your time. There are Blood Drives the next two Mondays on Big Pine. Free bonus: $10 eGift card and OneBlood blanket. Monday, November 23 – Bealls 11:30am – 4:30pm Link |
| [Masks Required in KW] That’s such a no-brainer after doctors and other scientists keep on telling us to wear them to protect others. We all hate masks but thinking about others is more important than making a bogus political statement. |
Low-bridge disasters can be painful to watch, and this particular one that ended with more than $2 million worth of damage is not an exception. The accident took place Sept. 13 in Memphis, TN. The train in the video, which has cars marked both Norfolk Southern and Canadian Pacific Railway, can be seen going under a low clearance bridge and scraping the entire roof off of several train cars before it manages to stop. Video |
| [Masks Required] Key West approves a strict mask law, and it will affect everyone out in public. Key West, though, recently announced it will continue to issue citations and collect the fines later, whenever the governor’s order expires. Link |
[“It was a mistake, it never happened”] After a male octopus breeds with a female he develops dementia. He then lives the rest of his life confused, with apparently no knowledge of previous events. |
| If you’re opposed to gay marriage, you can simply say “no” when a gay person proposes to you. Follow me on the Coconut Telegraph for more life tips. |
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