Friday, November 12, 2016

The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

buck-toothed-rooster[Big Pine Restaurant Update] Another rumor yet to be confirmed I just heard today.  Plans are to open by mid-December or earlier as a Southern food venue to be called The Buck Tooth Rooster. They will feature Southern style food, BBQ and Cajun cuisine.  That just might fly here if the food is very good and the prices are Keys friendly.  There’s not much better than a good Southern BBQ platter with ribs and chicken and a tall, frosty brewski!
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Key West needs a giant drunk tank far more than it needs a homeless shelter.
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Is the guy asking about this sign at the end of No Name Key? He says it’s at the end, but there isn’t  sign at the end except a County sign telling you the road ends and there’s no turn around. The sign I think he’s talking about is a quarter mile from the end of NNK. I’m glad that guy’s not a navigator!

[Noise] Last night (actually early this morning) was a perfect example why residents on Little Torch Key don’t trust the operators of Dolphin Marina to add units and maintain tranquility in their proposed gated lockout. After midnight, on dead low tide, knuckleheads were attempting to get their huge go fast boat out at the ramp. The engine noise woke many residents and had dogs howling. When I walked towards the marina to see what was going on a deputy sheriff was on site and told me from across the canal he was responding to numerous calls complaining about the noise. The boat, by most accounts, is not locally owned.
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[Sewer Connections] Any comments on plumbing companies for lower Keys sewer hook ups, positive or negative are welcomed.
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Keys parrots roosting on a bridge.

[Too Much Sports] While sitting down for morning coffee and an apple fritter I was listening to Morning Magazine on WWUS, and couldn’t help but notice over the years the eminent story is always sports. day after day, first segment-sports, sports, and more sports. A person might get the opinion that it’s sports that runs this country.
vetrans salute memorial dayOn this Veterans Day, let us remember the service of our veterans, and let us renew our national promise to fulfill our sacred obligations to our veterans and their families who have sacrificed so much so that we can live free.

But this Veterans Day, I believe we should do more than sing the praises of the bravery and patriotism that our veterans have embodied in the past. We should take this opportunity to re-evaluate how we are treating our veterans in the present. A simple thank you is just not enough. America can do better. Until then, thank you for your service.  ~Coconuts <@)}}}><

[Life With the Crow Indian] After gathering a sufficient quantity of buffalo and elk horns, we supplied ourselves with a large outfit of fine new bows. The horns are thrown into hot springs which abound in that region, where they are kept until they are perfectly malleable; they are then taken out and straightened, and cut into strips of suitable width. It takes two buffalo horns to make a bow of sufficient length. They are pieced in the center, and riveted; then they are bound strongly at the splice with sinew. Bows made of this material are equaled by none other except those made from the horn of the mountain sheep.
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[Rather Switch Than Fight] More than 100 transgender troops have informed the services that they want to transition to the opposite sex, be formally recognized in their new gender, or are seeking counseling or medical treatment. Link
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[Fried Food Dinner] I made fried, in their skins, purple fingerling potatoes (really good), onion rings, fried cod, ketchup for the fish and a salad. Full Menu > Recipes > Crispy Batter

[“Name that building”] The old Bank of America Building on Big Pine has been under a few names over the years, I banked there in the early 80’s and I think it was Barnett. Back then the bank was a mobile home style trailer and someone with a big truck could have stolen the whole bank.
filter-nest[Roast Beef Bugs] While preparing to attempt a start of a friend’s gasoline powered pressure washer that has been sitting idle more than a year, I pulled the carburetor off to clean it, and discovered some small creature had built what I think is a nest on the air filter. They gained access through a small tear in the foam pre-filter and built between the firm paper and the stretchy foam filter.
This sort of thing has been predicted to plug the little breather holes in the bottom of the Cudjoe Regional sewer pump station “flood-proof” vents due to mud-dauber wasps and leaf-cutter ants. The result could be disastrous.
Would someone please identify the critter that built these nests as shown in the photo?
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Black Conchs are still Conchs, both usually have family ties to the Bahamas or migrated from there.
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The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views–which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.  ~Dr. Who
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[Bat Tower] I have a friend who has taken some very special photos of the lower Keys and the Bat Tower is one. The Sugarloaf Key Bat Tower, also known as the Perky Bat Tower, is a historic site in Monroe County, Florida, United States. It is located a mile northwest of U.S. Route 1 on Lower Sugarloaf Key at mile marker 17. On May 13, 1982, it was added to the National Register of Historic Places.
This taste of Keys history is shared with you by Coconut Bar & Liquor Store. At the light. Down town Big Pine Key.

16 million sterile flies had been released! Where did they get 16 million sterile flies in such a short time? Does some guy have 16 million sterile flies in his house in 16 million tiny little cages just waiting for a screwworm outbreak.
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[Election] Amendment 2 medical marijuana: Yes 71.25% (80.35%) No 28.75% (19.65%).
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Racism is good! Racism keeps cultures pure. Racism keeps people healthy. Yeah Racism! It’s the mixed breeds that do not sync with nature.

[Statin Drugs] From Jack Harrison’s Daily Dose on statin drugs and the new research showing 60% increased risk of Parkinson’s while on statins: “[Dopamine] That’s the “feel good” chemical that lights up the pleasure centers in your noggin. When your cholesterol levels drop, that molecule shuts down… your pleasure center is closed for business… which leads to mood problems such as depression, as well as Parkinson’s disease.
Cutting cholesterol [with statins to much below 200] will increase your risk of muscle pain, sex problems, diabetes, and even cancer. One study published over the summer found high levels of LDL cholesterol will cut your risk of death from prostate cancer by 47 percent, breast cancer by 43 percent, bowel cancer by 30 percent, and lung cancer by 22 percent.”
(I’m trying to avoid surgery and chemo so pass the bacon, please.)
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After seeing the Donald Trump win, Rosie O’Donnell has started her migration to Canada. She was spotted off the coast of Half Moon Bay, CA. Maybe she will hook up with the pod of Jersey girls going that way.

[“Screwworm treatment”] We will be starting a different treatment schedule beginning on Saturday, Nov. 12th.  It will be reducing the treatments in each Zone to one day per week vs two. We know that based on preliminary data analysis, several factors are contributing to the decline in screwworm infestation in the Key deer.  These include:
Volunteer treatments of deer and field treatments of wild deer
The large number of sterile screwworm flies in the environment
The fact that the density of large breeding male Key deer, who are prone to injuries and subsequent infestations, is reduced.We aren’t “out of the woods” yet as far as elimination of screwworm, but we are cautiously optimistic that things are proceeding in that direction.  We are observing much less infested deer (although they are still out there).
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[Elián González] That picture of the military or SWAT team member holding an automatic weapon on an unarmed father and small child looks like something that would only happen in a 3rd world country or Communist nation.
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[Iguana vs Snakes, a Lot of Snakes!] This is creepy. Where was it filmed? Guam is the only place that I ever heard of with so many snakes. They are brown tree snakes. Guam is home to an estimated 2 million of the reptiles, which in some areas reach a density of 13,000 per square mile. Video

[No PWC Allowed] I saw a guy on Blimp Road on Cudjoe Key Sunday with a personal watercraft he and his young son were riding around in the back country. When he came back to the boat ramp I said be careful as it is not legal to ride a PWC back here. He said, “Roger that” and walked away. The back of his shirt said member of USCG. He had an Alaska tag on his SUV and N.J. registration on his PWC. Guess he thought he may be immune from the law. Evidently he was, because there’s almost no on-water enforcement down her due to recent budget cuts.
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[Election] GMO mosquito testing on Key Haven: Yes 23,157 (57.86%)
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In 1945 the Gulf Oil Corporation was drilling an oil well on Coupon Bight on the south side of Big Pine Key. Are there any signs of drilling still there? I’d like to see where they drilled. Looks like there wasn’t any oil.

I need to take some photos of the zombie deer and show them to my grandchildren with the warning, “This is what’s going to happen to you if you don’t eat your spinach.”
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Key West Mayor race results:
Craig Cates 8,991 (88.57%)
Sloan Bashinsky 1,160 (11.43%)
That, folks, is a miracle!

Legal marijuana is one thing many Americans agree on. Is it legal to smoke pot? The prohibition is right up there with the death penalty, minimum wages, and condoms on porn stars. America is great, ain’t it. Video
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[Rotary Club No Longer Supports Bike Week] Oh darn, no more rude, noisy bikers? I miss them already–not!
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[Poetry] Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven. Video

The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, November 12, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
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[Buses are Big] It’s too bad they have that PSA to tell people not to step out in front of buses. Stupid people that get hit by buses give us something to talk about.

[Medical Marijuana] Florida voters on Tuesday overwhelmingly approved a constitutional amendment guaranteeing seriously ill patients the right to medical marijuana, a victory for decriminalization supporters who narrowly lost a similar ballot fight two years ago. Video
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[Key West Hookers] He said he did not pay or receive any services at Gold Diggers and was unsure how the women could have had access to his wallet, which he said he left unattended a few times to use the bathroom at a lower Duval Street bar. Duh!
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[The First Loebner Prize] In 1991, the first Loebner Prize was held. The judges at the competition had to determine whether they were communicating with humans or computer programs. Audio

[Learn to Play Again] Get outside & take a kid with you. They know how to have fun & you will remember quickly. It’s kind of like riding a bike.    ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store
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[“White Conchs don’t view black Conchs, as Conchs”] I am sure you misunderstood what your friend said. I believe he said true Conchs would never view you as anything other than an idiot for raising such a question. (Deer Editor, I am forever befuddled.)
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[Found Car Key] I found a Dodge vehicle key on a fob in my driveway on Ramrod Key over the weekend. Is it yours? Reply on the CocoTele with a description and an explanation of why you were on my property.

The Key West Film Festival is proud to put a spotlight on the extraordinary leading ladies of our 2016 film selections. The KWFF team highlights five films, in particular, to see next week, November 16-20 in Key West!

Nov 16. Annette Benning in “20th Century Woman”. Annette Benning’s performance in this KWFF Opening Night film is sure to garner an Oscar nomination (you can take that to the bank!). It’s also one of the richest leading parts for a female actor in quite some time. Based on the life of the mother of the director (Mike Mills, Beginners), Benning plays a mother in Santa Barbara in the late 1970s trying to raise her 14 year old son while being a mother-figure for two other women (Greta Gertwig and Elle Fanning). Having long moved on from her failed marriage, Benning’s character walks the line of mother and friend to young adults and adults who see her as both, and neither.

Film critic Amy Nicholson of MTV News will lead a Q&A after the film. Link

Springers-2.2016
The chum they sell you these days is total crap. Expensive, or the cheap stuff, I just drill a hole through the center and loop a sliding line around both sides because it’s so useless it won’t even come out of the bag if you use a bag. Those cages for chum are a pain in the neck to stow and clean
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[Bus Stop] Why is it that we have spent millions of dollars on a bicycle path that is not even used by those that think they are professional bike people in their gay-like apparel, but we cannot afford to put a concrete bench at our bus stops for locals?
cowasaki-motorcycle[Rotary Club No Longer Supports Bike Week] It’s not about the noise, it’s not about the law, it’s about the money. I heard this on US1 radio from Mayor Weekly: In response to the whiners and crybabies complaining about the noise the motorcycles make when Peterson’s Porker Run/Key West Bike Week comes to town. Well, it appears that you are getting what you wished for.
I just heard that the Key West Rotary Club is pulling the plug on the sponsorship. When the folks at Peterson’s Harley Davidson were queried about this their response was rapid and concise. We’re off to Ft. Myers. So all you crybabies won and there will be $6 to $8 million less being spent in the local economy. Be careful what you wish for, it might come true. (Pictured: Cowasaki)
DEF: Posts n, a group of words making a point, but read differently by persons who see the words but not the meanings and spin their thoughts to conform to their existence.
DEF: Handwriting n, a lost art nullified by texting
DEF: Prostitute n, any creature that sell itself for profit or votes
DEF: Keyboard n, a tool that makes spelling a pain in the ass
DEF: Mouse n, a device to initiate cramps in one’s arm
DEF: Monitor n, a electronic window to nowhere important except for recipes
DEF: Coffee n, the first drug needed to verify reality
DEF: Alarm clock n, an evil thing you sold your soul to
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To the poster hoping the screwworms will thin the herd of the pictured Jersey girls: I hope your sisters will be ok.
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[Neanderthal Moose Thinking] “Moose Suffragettes” Like everything else since they allowed woman to walk upright, we guys have had our manhood removed. The Moose does not need moosettes running our show. Let them have their own bordello/beer garden.

I figured out why the burger flippers are demanding $15 per hour when I went to buy food with my wife. Are these food markets nuts? What used to be $.50 per pound I saw for $5 per pound. A stinking can of veggie soup costs more than a full meal at a Chinese restaurant. And I thought the oil companies were whores!
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[“Who made the sign at the end of No Name Key”] What sign? My first guess would be Paulette Summers, the FDOT spokesperson. My second guess would it’s her greatest achievement.
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