Friday, March 6, 2015

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Anonymous Letters to the Editor with pictures. Published Monday through Friday by Noon.

circus-elephant6The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus says the “Greatest Show on Earth” will go on without elephants. Animal rights groups took credit for generating the public concern that forced the company to announce its pachyderm retirement plan on Thursday. But Ringling Bros.’ owners described it as the bittersweet result of years of family discussions. It was a decision 145 years in the making since P.T. Barnum’s introduction of animals to his “traveling menagerie” in 1870. What’s a circus without elephants?
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[“Pelicans turning up with slashed pouches, missing wings”] There has to be a special place in hell for scum that would do this. Personally I would not want to come upon someone doing it because I know it would end with me being in jail for scumbag cruelty
keep-out6[“Sanctuary creep”] Imagine trying to make a living fishing in the Keys with the Sanctuary continually taking away your fishing grounds and continually changing the rules to your determent. It must be awful trying to keep ahead of the regulators. Kudos to the City of Key West for standing up to the Sanctuary this week by saying enough is enough!
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sinkhole6What’s wrong with Shallow Sewage Wells in the Florida Keys? Do you enjoy seafood, diving or snorkeling, fishing, bird and marine life? Partially treated sewage effluent kills corals and other sea life. Partially treated sewage effluent is high in nitrates, which cause algae mats, killing corals and other marine invertebrates, impacting the fisheries and the migratory bird rookeries. It can result in a “dead zone.” It also contains pharmaceuticals, endocrine disrupters, hormones and other substances which impair our water quality. Over 30 million gallons a month of partially treated sewage effluent will get dumped. It’s only 10 miles from the Cudjoe shallow sewage wells to Looe Key. It’s only 7 miles through the backcountry to Marvin Key.

Come to a benefit to Help Stop Shallow Sewage Wells in the Florida Keys. The local group, Stop Shallow Sewage Wells in the Florida Keys, is holding a benefit to help stop the shallow sewage wells on Cudjoe Key. They plan a fun event with great music, prizes, food and friends.

Sunday, March 22 from 3-6 at the Sugarloaf Lodge Tiki Bar, Mile Marker 17. Live music, Silent Auction, Great food, Raffles and 50-50. Local residents and businesses have donated very generously.

$10 buys you entrance and a chance at some great giveaways. You can buy tickets online or at the Benefit for food, drinks, raffles and the knowledge that you’ve helped an important local cause. Details and tickets at www.stopshallowsewagewellsintheFloridaKeys.com Or at the Benefit. Events

‘Kimono’ Dragons? Ha! I completely missed that as I was in a state of confusion over other misinformation in the ridiculous post.
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[Police Body Cameras] KWPD is currently in the process of formulating policies for officers’ use of the body cameras that were recently purchased and delivered to the station with the help of Monroe County Sheriff Rick Ramsey. Each KWPD officer will soon be issued a camera and a set of rules.  In the video above we explore the the concept of body cameras in the context of Key West’s current community policing issues. Video
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[The destruction of Nimrud] Islamic State militants bulldoze the ancient city of Nimrud believed to be where the Tower of Babel was built. Such wanton destruction of historic places makes one cry. Video
[Tarpon] I wonder if our friends from Miami (big surprise) who were arrested cooking a Tarpon knew the right way to cook one? Here is how you do it:
Ingredients:
1 Tarpon about 80 pounds.
1 plank the length of the fish, preferably a soft wood like pine. Hard wood like oak makes for tougher eating.
Olive oil, salt, pepper and paprika to taste.
Directions:
Pre-season the Plank with the ingredients listed above making sure to coat it all evenly.
Place the Tarpon on the plank. Wrap the Tarpon and plank in aluminum foil.
Place it on the coals.
Allow to cook for 45 minutes.
After 45 minutes remove the foil and toss Tarpon in the trash.
Plank serves up to 10 people.
mafia6[Vatican Bank] What is it for? Since 2007 the laws changed and they aren’t allowed to launder money any longer.  Six of their bank directors were Mafia made men.
[Sick Society] Florida Keys Community College President Jonathan Gueverra has joined other state educators by coming out against a legislative measure to allow guns on college campuses. Some state Republican leaders say the Legislature should change existing law to allow students with concealed carry licenses to bring  firearms  on college campuses in order to have everyone armed.
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I see lots of articles about Obamacare, but no mention of the cost. I looked up a plan for my wife. Obamacare for the same insurance was $7,200 more in subsidies a year. We do not get any form of support or welfare from anyone else.
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et6[We Are Not Alone] Pictures found in Arizona attic could shed more light on 1947 Roswell UFO incident. Video
[Sewers] More FKAA deceit can be seen on their website. The home page has a huge link button announcing “Dump the Pumps, Inc. vs FKAA and DEP. Click here for the recommended order”. They tout this decision like a big win and vindication of the dangerous sewer disaster they are building. Not so. They admitted that their design does not meet even minimum national design standards, but promised to take extraordinary efforts to make it work. DEP said that was fine with them. The judge is a special judge working for a third state agency also answering to Gov. Scott. She is permitted to just decide (or be told to decide) to rule in favor of her brother state agencies and let them actually write the recommended order for her! It took 90 days instead of the allowed 30, but that’s what you see on the FKAA website. Dump the Pumps had 14 days to write exceptions, and they did. Due to the short time allowed for exceptions coupled with the long 193 page order, only 2 or 3 issues were challenged well in only 17 pages. Exceptions go to the DEP, not the DOAH or judge, so of course they would be dismissed by DEP! That was a given, but they are now on the record. The argument could be appealed to a regular court, but it is just too expensive to justify. The fact remains that the system is fatally flawed as it is being built. The fact remains that FKAA doesn’t know what they are doing and is incapable of performing the extraordinary efforts they promised the judge. There will undoubtedly be loss of service and raw sewage spills. The system could still be modified at this stage at relatively low cost to make it functional. Many of the problems go away if the system is not warped to suit the weird characteristics of the E-1 pump selected. The DEP could not show that the system meets minimum national standards, so they claimed the standards do not apply if there are any grinder pumps in the system! That is ridiculous, but it means that now it is cheaper to move the grinders into the roadway than to have them in your yard. Stay tuned.!
Meanwhile, you will find only fluff on the FKAA website. If you want to see what was wrong with the DOAH ruling and exactly why the system will fail, read the Exceptions here. Link
fanci10-16-14
Hello Ed, We are back from vacation too, and started to read the CT from Monday’s edition to Thursday’s. What a trill to see the same nitwits and anti-FTR idiots are again posting useless statements from their useless minds. What joy it is to skip over the garbage posts to get to something vaguely important. Welcome back, I think?
bartender customer
There’s no better sunscreen than sitting inside a bar.
[Sewers] DEP had to admit that the sewer system they permitted for the Cudjoe Regional does not meet even the bare minimum national standards. So they claimed that those standards do not apply if there are any grinder pumps in the system. That is irresponsible and irrational, but it constituted a big win for Dump the Pumps! Now a grinder pump station in the road does not need to meet Ten states Standards and cost $100,000 like FKAA claimed. (As if much of anything in the system met standards!) Now, it is cheaper to put the pump in the road than in your yard! The only difference now with the pit in the street instead of in a yard is a traffic rated top and FKAA supplies the electrical. Up to 5 homes can legally go to one pit, so the savings are huge in both up front cost and maintenance. It also makes it much easier and safer for FKAA service crews. Fewer pumps try to pump at once after a power outage, reducing the risk. They can be pumped out more efficiently if need be. Don’t give FKAA an easement to put a grinder on your property. If you did, you may be able to rescind it with a certified letter. In most cases it was obtained under duress which voids any contract. The pit can legally and more economically go in the road, so they do not need another easement. If they took an easement and planted the pit, you can be compensated for your losses of property value and privacy and it might only cost about $20 if enough people participate. Dump the Pumps is coordinating that, but you need to contact them. Link
Radio-Shack10.31.14
Those who make the rules get the gold.  Congress, a ways back, passed laws exempting themselves from any Wall Street insider stock trading regulation.  Yet another reason they become multi millionaires.
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change6No, science isn’t always right, but it is self correcting unlike the religious people who claim to know everything from their literal interpretation of the bible. And: I don’t believe in evolution? I agree with its evidence-based conclusions. This picture of the debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham sums up the difference between science and religion pretty accurately
[Joke Friday] Florida woman stops alligator attack with a small Beretta pistol. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber that you would trust to protect yourself? A Beretta Jetfire testimonial.Here is her story in her own words: “While out walking along the edge of a bayou just outside of Fort Lauderdale in alligator alley with my soon to be ex-husband discussing property settlement and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft. alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water and began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.

If I had not had my little Beretta Jetfire .25 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband’s knee cap was all it took. The ‘gator got him easily and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. It’s one of the best pistols in my collection! Plus the amount I saved in lawyer’s fees was really incredible.”

Isaksen11.5.14
The Israelis are all about them getting Americans to send their sons and daughters over there to defend them against the Muslim invasion which will happen. Israel has all kinds of nasty war toys, but not thousands of troops to fight for them. If war breaks loose over there, the Jews will all run to North and South America after dropping some boomers and ruining this planet!
I loved the post about fishing! Great accompanying graphic too.
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[“Kimono dragon”] When I read posts like that I always feel better about myself knowing that somewhere out there is a person even dumber than I am. Domo arigato, Mr Reptilo.
Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.  ~Mark Twain
BP-Flea-Market10.10.14
[Pot is now legal] After arguing with a bartender in Key West about how dangerous it is to drive a vehicle when you are stoned, he rebutted by saying there is no way that is true because being high will help you drive better. I laughed like hell and said how come being high makes one feel like you are in another universe or somewhere other then where you are? Going 70 MPH in a car when you are stoned is like being stone drunk on booze. Sameo-sameo, Dude!
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rv flat tire
[Tight Fit
] Here’s video proof to the old adage, “If it doesn’t fit force it and if it breaks it needed replacing anyway.” Video
Maybe Bank Of America can leave the ATM working, like the Keys Federal Credit Union did.
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1998 Ford F150 XLT, runs great, P/S-P/W-P/L, commercial topper with shelving on both sides, tow package, $2600 OBO. Classified Ads > Autos
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If you noticed the shark first, you’re probably gay.
Is that weird dome home in Cudjoe Gardens a Muslim home? and will they have those minarets for their prayer screaming?
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The Jews back in the Roman times were nothing like the Jews today, although they did control any areas they lived in, the forms of trade, the shipping, the banks of grains, the political structures, the merchandising and all others forms of ruling tactics. Humm, maybe they were just like today’s Jews.
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tarpon-bites-man
[“Miami men caught eating tarpon“] Why don’t we eat them? I’ve always been told tarpon were trash fish. Are they bad for you?
[Screwing the Public] Yes, the military owns the land, but Balfour Beatty owns the houses and should pay their fair share of property taxes for their costs to the School District and other services we have to provide them, not just in Monroe County, but in the other counties where they own former military housing.  We all pay property taxes for them otherwise. They should not be trying to get the legislature to pass a law exempting them back to 2007 when they bought those units — no matter how powerful they are. The court should be allowed to rule on whether these taxes are due. That’s fair. Keep the legislature out of it.
Springers12.9.14
[Bad Weather] We wanted to let you know that your package may not arrive on time due to extreme weather conditions or an unforeseen natural event. Shipping carriers in the area of your delivery address or cities along the delivery route are reporting delivery delays because of these conditions.

UPS will deliver the package as soon as possible. We’re very sorry about this unavoidable delay and we appreciate your patience.

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[Bimbo] Jessica Simpson asked if Chicken of the Sea was really chicken. It was you, uniformed poster, who should get your facts straight before posting “doubting Thomas’s”. Credibility is going out the window. Video
[Sloan] The other day, I ran into a friend who works at the Gardens Hotel. He said the Gardens resigned from the Key West Chamber of Commerce after the Chamber publicized that its members supported the “channel-widening study” (bring in more and bigger cruise ships) referendum, because the Gardens didn’t support the referendum, nor, I heard, did a number of other Chamber members.

I caught bloody hell last year for publishing the Chamber and its two hired guns for the referendum, one was female, the other was male, were whores. I also published they were liars, and I did not catch bloody hell for that.

After what I’ve recently been through (administrative leave), it’s going to take a while for my soul to be revitalized to giving a shit about what is going on in Key West; perhaps the angels have a fast-track miracle up their sleeves.

johnsons-7.9.14
[“Iguana eating deer”] The thing of it is you can’t actually see the iguana eating any deer meat in that video.  The carcass doesn’t jiggle as if the iguana was pulling at it.  The photographer never says that the iguana was eating the deer.  I don’t think that iguana could get past that  fresh looking hide.  The iguana is probably eating a leaf growing next to the dead deer.
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big-kahuna-winner2015 Big Kahuna Contest Winner! The Good Health Clinic is proud to announce the results of the 2015 Big Kahuna Contest!  The Big Kahuna Contest is in its 4th year and is a competitive fundraising event in which nominated community members raise money in support of The Good Health Clinic.  This year’s contestants were: Roger Young of Islamorada Brick Company, Jay Frins of ASAP Construction, Dirk Smits, Esq., partner with the Law offices of Vernis and Bowling, and Rob Stober, Esq. partner with the law offices of Hershoff, Lupino, and Yagel.

Participant Rob Stober was crowned the 2015 Big Kahuna in an Award ceremony which took place at the Good Health Clinic’s 4th Annual Beach Luau on February 28th at the Island Grill North in Key Largo.  Over the course of 2 months, Rob raised an astonishing $42,000!  Vicki Walker, the reigning Big Kahuna, relinquished her title and passed along the tiki trophy which Rob has won the right to display for the next year.  Over 200 people were in attendance and nearly $70,000 were raised overall.

The Good Health Clinic would like to thank our Sponsors and volunteers who made this event possible; Island Grill North, Shrimp Improvement Farm, Key Largo Fisheries, The Juice House, Key Largo Chocolates, our silent auction donors and countless volunteers!

The Good Health Clinic is the only local 501(c)3 not-for-profit that provides free healthcare to uninsured residents of the Upper Keys who live at or below the 200% Federal Poverty Level.  Potential patients may find more information and applications on our website, www.thegoodhealthclinic.org, by calling 305-853-1788, or by visiting The Good Health Clinic Monday through Friday 9am-3pm, located in Tavernier at mm 91.5.

For more information on running for Big Kahuna next year, contact Kate Banick at kate@thegoodhealthclinic.org

marimba6Seeing yesterday’s kids playing xylophones reminded me of the marimba I once had. A marimba is composed of hardwood keys played with two hammers whose sound is amplified through metal tubes below the keys. There are two keyboards in a marimba. On for the major notes and one for the sharps. I never could play it, so I might have that part wrong. I could only play it when drunk when anything sounded good. I had a very big party one time and some jerk stole the sharp keys keyboard. What could he do with all sharps? I wouldn’t have been as mad if he stole the whole thing, but half?
No Name Pub = legal robbery.  ~lefthandluckey@gmail.com
hareens 12.2.14
It is so easy to tell which posters are male and female. The male posters are either hard core or complete sissies, and the female posters are so illogical it hurts to laugh at them.
[“Quahogs’ tough meat”] Personally I just eat them off of the shell.
bill-3.5.15
[Unedited] Did anybody notice that gas has gone up up up at the shell stations he needs money to buy a new car ! Ohh this past week he fill ramrod up with fuel and guess what happen the weights and measure guy showed up like clockwork. So you know 3/4/15 gas will be good for the next week or two ! I love watching all the fools go there and buy water down gas at top price he charges more there for gas than key west. Just to let you know Zoo won’t fill his car at his own gas station ! You know why because the gas is not shell i know i used to work for him and he cheating his business partner on the money the big pine station and guess who his partner is his own brother when mention how come the other register the cash only why don’t you want me to write the total of sale and add it to the station total money made that day ! you get it you fool he cheating on florida state taxes and cheating his own brother does that tell you about zoo Yeah Cheating his own blood out of money would you cheat your family ? you might say no !! not zoo he says he needs money so he an live like a rock star so come on people dig down deep into your pockets and buy gas and everything to support Zoo cause he can charge you more > I asked Zoo what do you sleep at night Just great with my 50,000.00 dollar bed to sleep tell you more next week on the life styles and cheating and price gouging the people in big pine to summerland key  ~Anthonytropeano@me.com
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Hillary’s email
At first glance, I too thought Hillary was foolish to set up her own email but now realize how brilliant it was. Consider yourself being a prominent government official subject to the whims and stupidity of republicans like Rubio, Paul Ryan, Louie Gohmert (R-TX), and Ted Cruz.
They displayed their grade school mentality with Benghazi, Obamacare and impeachment bullshit.(just to name a few.) Hillary knew “going in” what it was going to be a rough and incredibly stupid ride because she has “been there and done that”.
HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT!
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FTR got his knickers in a knot about Hillary and the cash she recieved from different companies and the first thing I thought of was how very Cheney of her.
Cheney = Haliburton = HUGE iraq war profits.
Wonder why FTR never pointed that out? Hmmm?
from the right
Settled science? On 9/11/72 Walter Cronkite sonorously reported that the climatologists predicted that we were heading into a new ice age. Link

ice-age6He cited Herbert Lamb, then the dean of climatologists. Lamb had founded the Climate Research Unit at East Anglia University and was considered the preeminent climatologist of his time.

Lamb predicted that the full extent of the new ice age would not be felt for about 10k years. But coupled with that bad news was the good news that the new ice age would not be as severe as the last ice age which covered NYC with a mile of ice.

Today, we are experiencing a winter of gargantuan proportion. Records for low temp and snow fall are falling like dominoes.

This winter mirrors last winter when in Feb of 2014 there was snow on the ground in 49 of the 50 states according to USA Today.

We can’t forget that in the 1980’s government scientists predicted that within a decade or two global warming would melt the polar ice caps inundating coastal areas such as the Keys. In October of ’83 The NYT reported that the scientists had stated that “sea level could rise by as much as 11 feet, or maybe as little as two feet.” How’s that for scientific certainty?

But according to the “U.S. National Climate Assessment”, from 2012 there is a greater than 90% chance that global mean sea level will rise at least 8 inches (0.2 meter) and no more than 6.6 feet (2.0 meters) by 2100. Scientific uncertainty.

Then you must consider that according to Link, the global sea level has risen at a near constant rate since at least 1880. Since that time, 135 years ago it has risen by about just under 10 inches. It is important to note that the rise has been at a near constant rate as demonstrated in the graph shown at the link. Think of that, a constant rate regardless of the claim of calamitous melting of glaciers and polar ice.

The only “scientific certainty” to be had with global climate is that it always has and always will be changing.