Friday, April 25, 2014

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The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-Coconuts
The Original Unsocial Media
Anonymous Letters to the Editor with Pictures
Published Daily by Noon Since 2002
No Saturday Edition

Questions I would like answered by our elected Mosquito Control District Commissioners: Whom do you represent? the employees or the taxpayers of Monroe County?Read the Keynoter article “Mosquito Control director gets $32,000 payment for accrued time April 23, 2014”.  I hold no fault with MCD Director Michael Doyle; he was willing to “wipe the slate clean” by donating the time back to the district, saving the taxpayers $15,000.00, but I do hold the 4 Commissioners that voted to throw away the taxpayers money accountable.The four commissioners shot him down at the MCD meeting on April 16 and elected to fork over the cash. The vote was 4-1, with Commissioner Phil Goodman dissenting.I am horrified by this action as other taxpayers should be.  Commissioners you have compounded this action, you gave former Director Fussell a check for $71,000.00 of our money, and the will of the Commissioners after this action was taken was to make sure it did not happen again with new Director.The law firm knew this; yet the language in Mr. Doyle’s contract was not clear on comp-time being paid? Does the MCD need a new law firm that protects the taxpayers of Monroe County?Four Commissioners took the unclear language of this contract and voted to give another $15, 000.00 in comp-time to the new Director while MCD director is saying he would donate it back to the taxpayers MCD.  That amount adds up to $86,000.00 of our taxes, how many mosquitos did that money kill?  Even one commissioner stated this action needed to be worded as not to set off someone like Kay Thacker.Hello, voters of Monroe County! Do we need to make sure we vote for someone that represents the taxpayers? Two wrongs don’t make a right.
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I can’t help notice how the real estate agents place so many ads showing off the house they just sold. It’s understood that agents sell houses, just like car dealers sell cars, but we don’t see ads from car dealers showing the new Ford Focus they just sold. Or an ad from a marina showing the Grady White they sold last week. At least if they showed the price it sold for or how long it took to sell, the ad might be a little more interesting but they never do.I find this curious and a backwards way to advertise one’s real estate talents. Personally, I’d be more interested in how you’d promote my house before you sell it, not afterwards.
yard-sale
Tomorrow, Saturday 4/26 8am-1pm, bigger and better than last time, Buffalo china, restaurant equipment, plants, sports cards, fishing, cd’s, books, roofing shingles and tar paper, clothes, more. 29168 Palm Ave, Big Pine, Eden Pines.
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[Movies] In Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns he often creates tension by quickly moving the camera from closeups of faces to faces. And everyone’s always sweaty.
If it’s true that we only live part of the potential of our lives, then what happens to the rest? They say the same of our brain. We only use part of it. What happens to the rest?
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[Friday Joke] I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was very irritated. She asked the teller, “Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?”The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, “Fluctuations.”The Asian lady says, “Fluc you white people too.”
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A very rare animal — a Zonkey, the hybrid between a male zebra and a female donkey — was recently born at an animal reserve in Italy, just outside of the city of Florence.
I work for the Ed Macdougall Congressional Campaign and I was wondering if you could send me the municipality codes dealing with political as soon as possible?Some of the things I need to know are: What are the size regulations? Is there a time limit that they are allowed to be out? Is there a Deposit that needs to be paid before placing signs. (Ed: Don’t ask me. I’m just a dude in underwear sitting at a computer.)
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[Saint Everyone] The Vatican is making two more people (former Popes) saints. These people didn’t perform any miracles and they’re making them saints. It used to be you had to perform two miracles to be a saint. These two new miraclelsess ‘Saints’ lessen the aura and magnificence of sainthood.
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Lots of people are pissed at a certain senior citizen’s medical insurance company who sends out notices for renewal sometimes a year or more ahead of the due date. Just think if a few hundred thousand people early pay, even with a discount, how much free money that company has to play with. Read anything you get bill-wise with a big magnifying glass. There are pirates everywhere!
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[Friday Joke] I asked a sexy Chinese girl for her phone number. She replied, sex sex sex-free sex tonight. I said, Wow!Then her friend said, She means, 6 6 6-3 6 2 9
jenny-mccarthy-playboyWhat do you call someone who sows misinformation, stokes fear, abets behavior that endangers people’s health, extracts enor­mous visibility from doing so and then says the equivalent of “Who? Me?”I’m not aware of any com­mon noun for a bad actor of this sort. But there’s a proper noun: Jenny McCarthy. For much of the past decade McCarthy has been the pan­icked face and intemperate voice of a movement that posits a link between autism and childhood vaccinations and that badmouths vaccines in general, saying that they have toxins in them and that children get too many of them at once.Because she posed nude for Playboy dated Jim Carrey and is blonde and bellicose, she has received platforms for this message that her fellow nonsense peddlers might not have. She has spread the twisted word more efficiently than the rest.And then, earlier this month, she said the craziest thing of all, in a column for The Chicago Sun-Times. “I am not ‘anti-vaccine, I have been wrongly branded.”You can call this revisionism. Or you can call it “a complete and utter lie,” as the writer Michael Specter said. Specters 2009 book “Denialism,” looks at irrational retorts to proven science like McCarthy’s long and undeni­able campaign against vac­cines.
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zombie eating
[Zombocalypse] Imagine you’re a Big Pine Key Ultimate Survivalist fighting off the starving hordes from Key West and Marathon who were foolish and didn’t stock up on seeds like you did. Pickup weapons and keep them at bay. Left and right arrow to move, space bar to fire. Arrow down to pick up items, arrow up to call in 3 levels of air support; missiles, air strikes or a attack helicopter when you earn them. Move around, the weapons are dropped in random spots and will expire fast, the health remains until you need it, save them. Require Flash Player installed (and updated). Video Game (Ed: I couldn’t get the game to load so now I’m in danger of becoming just another zombikill.)
[Friday Joke] We had just finished tucking three ­year-old Billy into bed when he began to wail. Turns out, he had accidentally swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die. Desperate to calm him, my husband palmed a penny that he had in his pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy’s ear. Billy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my husbands hand, swallowed it and demanded, “Do it again!”
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When you’re dating, the unwritten rule is that you don’t break wind in front of each other until you’ve had sex together. That breaks the ice.
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11 Emerald Dr, Big Coppitt Key. Turn at fire dept. Fri & Sat 8-12. Lots of native plants and palms $1-10,lots of old bottles over 100, most $1-10, stainless steel tables, gas cans like new, Penn spinning reels, some clothes and household items.
Deer North Koreans: When dictatorship is a fact, revolution is a duty.
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[“IBM the first PC”] That brings back memories. As a college student I forked over $1,000 for a deluxe 64 kilobyte model. If I remember correctly, the first gen systems had a maximum addressable 640 kilobytes of memory – reportedly attributed to a design decision by Bill Gates that the maximum should be 10x the current design as ‘more than anyone would ever need’. Maybe it’s urban myth or maybe it’s fact, but it’s amazing that now we talk Megabytes and Gigabytes of memory!
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It is Friday, the moon stands in the zodiac sign Pisces, waning (4th Quarter). Here are some influencing powers of the day: element is water, apparatus nervous system, part of plant leaf, quality of the day water day, body zone: toes, feet, color: green, complementary color: purple, orange.
What is really happening with this Grinder Pump fiasco. Seems the three days are up, and everyone has something else to think about. A drive up US1 will tell you there are thousands of GP’S in storage yards along the way. WHY, if they are being phased out for Gravity Systems? This sewer scam stinks!
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The real director of life is accident.
eye25
Eye testing machines
should be self operated where we can switch lenses and select the most comfortable lens instead of the eye guy fidgeting and not being really sure if the lenses are the correct ones for you.
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wippit25
[Whippet
] If you have not treated your lady to a whippet tongue bath you really don’t have a clue what you’re missing out on, but please dispose of empties properly or you get all the vanilla people’s panties in wads. And if you’re lucky, guys, she will return the favor! This free public service message brought to you by Freaks R Us.
Our last sanctuary is intimacy.
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[Capitalism] While the capitalist mode of production has done a great deal to accelerate the development of technology and increase the availability of consumer goods in the last few centuries, it has outlived its usefulness and has in fact become destructive. Inequality, unemployment, financial crises, and environmental devastation all point toward one inevitable conclusion: we must get rid of capitalism, once and for all.
butt25
[Friday Joke] Yesterday , I was walking down the street holding hands with my wife, I suddenly dropped her hand, and grabbed my cell phone to take this picture. My wife hit me in the chest and wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. Later that night she asked me ” How could you take that picture”? “How could I not”. It’s not everyday you see a dog driving a taxi.
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Gassy-Winds---QM-30[Queen Mother Pageant] Get your stilettos ready for the wildest beauty pageant in all the land!  The 31st Annual Queen Mother Pageant, presented by John “Ma” Evans and LaTeDa and hosted by Christopher Peterson and Randy Roberts will be Monday, May 12, 2014.This annual fundraiser for the Visiting Nurse Association & Hospice of the Florida Keys and One Human Family is a riotous good time!  Duval Street – in front of LaTeDa (1125 Duval Street) – will be taken over as contestants compete in ever-entertaining categories such as “evening gown,” “talent,” and “interview” to decide who will be crowned the new Queen Mother.“One Night Only” is this year’s theme and the event will be dedicated to Ma’s mother and favorite gal, Eileen Evans. “The Key West Queen Mother Pageant is not about a crown and a title, it is a job,” stated Queen Mother 30 Gassy Winds a.k.a. J.B. McLendon.  “And to steal a quote from the US Navy, ‘It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure’; and what a humbling and rewarding adventure it has been.”The doors will open at 7pm with the show starting promptly at 8pm. Tables are $500, $300 and $200 (tables seat eight), $30 for individual seats, and $25 at the door for standing room only. Food can be pre-ordered for the event by contacting LaTeDa directly.  No outside food or beverages will be allowed.The Queen Mother’s Royal Tea will be held the Sunday before the pageant (May 11th) from 4pm until 6:30pm at LaTeDa and will be hosted by Queen Mother 30 Gassy Winds. Events
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[Friday Joke] Here’s how the scam works: Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It’s impossible not to look).  When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ but instead ask for a ride to McDonald’s. You agree and they climb into the vehicle.  On the way, they start undressing.  Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.I had my wallet stolen May 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th.  Also June 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 11th, 13th, 18th & 19th, and very likely again this upcoming weekend. Tell your friends to be careful!  What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men.  Warn your friends to be vigilant. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each.  I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the dollar store and bought them out in three of their stores. Also, you never get to eat at McDonald’s.  I’ve already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe’s, to Home Depot, to Costco, etc. So please, send this on to all the older men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam.   (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon.)
manning25[He-She] A Kansas judge has granted a request by Wikileaks whistleblower Bradley Manning to change his name to Chelsea Elizabeth Manning, a small vital change for which Manning had been “waiting for years….because it’s a far better, richer, and more honest reflection of who I am and always have been.”The Barbarians–Are You A Boy Or Are You A Girl
[Dolphin] Even with the slight cool front we had this week, we are definitely transitioning into our spring fisheries. Offshore, the dolphin bite is really coming together, with plenty of gaffer-size fish. Frigate birds indicate the biggest fish over 20 pounds, and weed lines are loaded with schoolies. What’s working are lures with the blue and silver combo as well as rigged ballyhoo. Mixed in with the dolphin are blackfin tuna, mostly in the 10- to 12-pound class. Link
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mahi pineapple salsaTGIF from Springers Bar and Grill. Today we have 2 great specials for you, a crab cake appetizer and mahi mahi with a pineapple salsa. Our Fridays taste of the sea is sure to please even the most discriminating palate.Don’t forget tonight we have our Friday night karaoke party starting at 7 with DJ Nick. You don’t want to miss the fun.Weekends, always something special at Springers, definitely a step above.
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Cuba-005
The Capitol building in downtown Havana.  The beautiful domed building is a popular photo opportunity for tourists.  Numerous street vendors can be found along the colonnade surrounding the site.
[“Litter at the Blue Hole”] Wow, what a response to the whippets. Big Pine Keyers know more about whippets than they do about grinder pumps. Whippets rule. Pumps: dump.
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[Healthcare] I don’t know what kind of right-wing agenda letter writer Larry Reitz had when making his unsupported bullet-point claims about the efficacy of the Affordable Care Act. According to a Gallup poll, our Congress started the year with a 13 percent approval rating.  Might it have to do with the Republican majority House of Representatives 47 attempts to repeal the ACA? For many of us who are seeing the instant benefits of — OK, call it Obamacare — we recognize it’s not perfect. It’s not like we’re as developed as single-payer universal health-care world powers like Bahrain, Brunei, Cyprus, Iceland, Kuwait, Norway and Slovenia. But at least we’re not going bankrupt when insurance companies reject us for pre-existing conditions.Instead of the specious claims that FOX News and people like Mr. Reitz are making, here’s my case: I’m self-employed and was paying Aetna $224 a month for a plan with a $10,000 deductible and no other benefits. Now with the ACA, I’m paying Cigna $189 a month with a $2,250 deductible and $60 co-pays for many in-network services. Recently I needed to consult with a local specialist who charged me $480. After Cigna had it discounted and paid its portion, I was left with just my $60 co-pay. Now I can pump that savings into our economy. I send a personal thank you to our President Obama. ~keysnet.com
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Print this guest check and use it at a place with bad service.
Fighting the Monsanto-led global transformation of seeds into profit-making, patent-encased intellectual property, scientists and sustainable food advocates at the University of Wisconsin-Madison have launched an Open Source Seeds Initiative to return vegetables to all of us. Likening the move to “a genetic easement,” they have introduced 29 new varieties of 14 crops, including carrots, kale, broccoli and quinoa, in packets bearing a haiku-like pledge to use the seeds freely, and enjoy.
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Lost. Thin silver charm chain with a replica the Atocha, baby ring with tear shaped stone, and a small silver conch shell that has a Key West banner! Worth $30 in silver, but so much more to me. Very sentimental. Reward! Somewhere on Big Pine. 305-879-0481 Classified Ads > Lost and Found
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pet-door
For sale Glass pet door. This fits a standard 80″ high sliding glass door, It measures 12″ wide by 80″ high and has adjustable height. The pet door measures 12″ x8″, great for cats or small to medium dogs. Great shape only $35, call  Classified Ads > Animals
[Efficient] When I change the parrot’s water, instead of tossing the old stuff, I pour it into my house plants.  It’s an endless free supply of guano fertilizer.
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[Freedom To Act Dumb] Just like the accelerating removal of restrictions on what you can do with guns, why not make it legal to drive on whatever side of the road you feel like as long as you’re doing it safely? Freedom and liberty for all!  Get government out of our lives now!
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Prince Vlad
received his rather unpleasant nom de plume, Vald the Impailer because of his sadistic form of punishment. Impalement is an exceedingly painful and ugly way to die. The victim has a large, sharpened, wooden stake driven through his body. In the method used by Dracula, the stake would be pushed through the body from either front to back or back to front in a manner that would not damage vital organs leading to immediate death. The stake would then be planted vertically into a prepared hole in the ground so that the victim was suspended in the air. Victims would be faced with hours or even days of agony before they expired. The stakes baring their gastly loads would be left in prominent locations to remind other would-be-enemies of the Prince the price of disobeying or betraying him. Link
[Elephantitis?] Does anyone know which pharmacy carries extra large athletic supporters with shoulder straps?
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National politics is back. Click on this link to send your national political post anonymously. No one will know your name or email address, [Well, maybe the NSA will] not even me. FTR is going to be the new national politics editor. Do not fear, FTR promised to post everything, even if he hates it, he’s that kind of guy.
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from the right
IRS_swat_team1It sure looks to this Olde Fart that the IRS has become a federal agency that is actually hostile to the Constitution and the public that it serves. We all know a great deal about the IRS’s singling out Conservative nonprofit PACS for harassment. But now they seem to be actually doubling down on their patently political harassment of those who hold Conservative views. Most recently USATODAY has reported that the IRS has revoked the tax-exempt status of a conservative charity for making statements critical of Hillary Rodham Clinton and John Kerry. The IRS itself states that The Patrick Henry Center for Individual Liberty, based in Manassas, Va., “has shown a pattern of deliberate and consistent intervention in political campaigns” and made “repeated statements supporting or opposing various candidates by expressing its opinion of the respective candidate’s character and qualifications.” Free speech, fuggaboutit!  Scary? You’re damned right it is!Then there is another Team Obama’s IRS issue. Certainly we will all remember Tim “The Tax Man” Geithner who boldly admitted to not meeting his tax obligations but still becoming the Secretary of the Treasury. Nor can we forget Representative Charlie Rangel’s tax cheating ways. He “forgot” to pay taxes on a luxurious Puerto Rican sea side residence he owns and rents out. A Pepperdine University study has revealed that Democrat tax cheats outnumber Republicans 72%/28%. LinkApparently that Democrat culture has permeated the IRS on a number of different levels. The AP just reported that: “The Internal Revenue Service has paid more than $2.8 million in bonuses to employees with recent disciplinary problems, including $1 million to workers who owed back taxes.”  How does that grab you?  Is it hypocrisy for our Democrat friends to demand that our achievers “pay their fair share?” When demo politico’s don’t? Yer damned right it is!Believe it or not, that’s not the worst of it. The IRS mess just keeps getting more and more odious…..Yep, 100k IRS employees have failed or refused to pay their taxes, and yet they get bonuses.  Now we learn that a bill sailed through the House of Representatives that would have forced those employee’s to be fired was DOA when it got to the Senate. Why? Yep, Dirty Harry Ried refused to even let it come up for consideration.  Why?—————————————————A POSTER WROTE: “”Regarding atolls and sea level rise, the most important fact was discovered by none other than Charles Darwin. He realized that coral atolls essentially “float” on the surface of the sea. When the sea rises, the atoll rises with it. They are not solid, like a rock island. They are a pile of sand and rubble. There is always material added and material being lost. Atolls exist in a delicate balance between new sand and coral rubble being added from the reef, and atoll sand and rubble being eroded by wind and wave back into the sea or into the lagoon. As sea level rises, the balance tips in favor of sand and rubble being added to the atoll. The result is that the atoll rises with the sea level.”FTR’S RESPONSE:  Global warmers and coolers alike should try to be informed on both sides of the issue, the link following is worth your time: Link—————————————————-THE PAST IS PROLOGUE; H.L. Mencken (born 1880 – died 1956) was a journalist, satirist, critic, and Democrat (what the hell, nobody’s perfect) which appeared in the July 26, 1920 edition of the Baltimore Evening Sun.  He wrote: “As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.”—H.L.  Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920So it was written, and so it has come to pass!
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