The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsLetters to the editor with pictures since 0202. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.​​

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[Irma Repair Work] Monroe County is being totally unrealistic in expecting Irma repair work to be done by March 24. I sued my wind insurer for ridiculously low-balling my house damages, as have many. The insurer responded with a letter demanding that I not repair anything and not throw anything out. They provided no payment for alternate living accommodation although there is about $24,000 in the policy for that. So I, like others, cannot make the house habitable and have no insurance money to pay to live elsewhere. Meanwhile, we are facing additional debris disposal and permit fees thanks to County deadlines that are way before insurance payouts. The County hasn’t even got their own repairs done in spite of their big workforce, outside contractors, and basically unlimited budget, yet we are supposed to be all finished up next week? That’s not happening for most of us.
[Phony Affordable Housing] Investors and builders ought to stop placating the locals by saying they’ll build affordable housing and truly do it.  Tarpon Harbor (Link) is not affordable.  Stop talking and making us frustrated.  Us locals are adult mature working people and can see a lying, bull*&^&%ing, fast talker.  Put up the tiny houses for the grunts to live in or you’ll have islands full of third world workers who don’t honor or contribute to the town.  You investors have the power that every sunrise will hold more promise, and every sunset will hold more peace for middle Keys locals
[Guns] Martin Niemoller was a decorated U-boat captain in the First World War but subsequently became a minister of religion and a relatively high profile opponent of the Nazis as they increasingly gained firm hold of the reins to power in Germany. Here’s what he wrote:  First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out–because I was not a communist. Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out–because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out–because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out–because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me–and there was no one left to speak out for me.
The 2nd Amendment wasn’t written to deal with hunting.
A U.S. Navy fighter jet crashed Wednesday off the coast of Key West, Florida, killing its two crew members.

The F/A-18 Super Hornet was on approach to land at a naval air station around 4:30 p.m. EDT when it crashed into shallow water about a mile east of the runway.

Both the pilot and weapons system officer ejected and were recovered, but U.S. Naval Air Forces reported late Wednesday night that both had died. Their names are being withheld pending notification of next of kin. The cause of the crash is also under investigation.

Capt. Barbie Wilson of Knee Deep Charters witnessed the crash from her pickup truck on a road near Key West.

“It happened so fast, like something out of a movie. I couldn’t believe it,” Wilson told the Key West Citizen . She said she saw jet flying straight, but very low.

“Then it suddenly went sideways and I heard a pop, like an explosion and I saw flames. Then it flipped and just dropped,” Wilson said.

The aircraft crew is based out of Naval Air Station Oceana, in Virginia Beach, Virginia. The Super Hornet is a twin-engine fighter jet that is larger than the single-seat F/A-18 Hornet.

President Donald Trump has tweeted his condolences, and Republican U.S. Rep. Carlos Curbelo of Miami emailed his condolences to the victims’ families.

[Beware the Ides of March] Steven Hawking’s death, Einstein’s birth and Galileo’s death, and Julius Caesar’s murder all happened on March 14.

[Teflon President] Could the President’s hooker, Stormy Daniels, be his Monica Lewinski? Or is he too bulletproof for anything to bring him down? And they called Ronald Reagan the Teflon President!
[Photography] What kind of camera, filter, or lens does Larry Blackburnt use? It makes all the pictures look old, wrinkled, fat, ugly, gray, gay, and distorted.




[Smokers] About time!

[“Security”] If you know of a realtor who is opening locks with a pocket knife, maybe you should report that for security’s sake. How do you know he/she (or others who are taught this trick) do not have the same traits you accuse postal workers of?
[“No-nonsense identification of terminology“] Do you think knowing the parts of a gun will stop the crazies from killing our children? You’re preaching to the choir, the rest of us, including our kids, want those rapid-fire guns gone from our lives. I think you gun nuts just like feeling dangerous and scary. You are!


[Crooks] Check kiting is a form of check fraud, involving taking advantage of the float to make use of non-existent funds in a checking or other bank account. In this way, instead of being used as a negotiable instrument, checks are misused as a form of unauthorized credit.

If US1 is FDOT’s responsibility, why does Monroe County Sheriff’s Office patrol & respond first? It seems FHP only comes if there’s a fatality. Does MCSO get paid from the state?
[Crap in Gas] I watched the contractors at the reconstructed Big Pine Shell station pumping out of the fuel tanks onto the ground a couple days ago. Certainly that wasn’t gasoline? Most likely it was Irma’s salt water. What do you suppose is the likelihood that all of the water was removed? Do you think there might be some rust and sediment on the fuel tank walls? I have been buying non-ethanol Rec 90 fuel for my chain saw, weedwacker, generator and boat at Valero in Marathon and still have had water-in-the-fuel problems. I drained the plastic gas tank into a 5 gal water cooler bottle and found a large quantity of rusty water content. That was from a plastic tank, so the rust must have originated at the fuel station. I am really weary of cleaning carburetors after paying premium price for the supposed highest quality fuel.
[Jet Crash] Listening t AP News stories about the F/A 18 Super Hornet crash yesterday….Their reports stated that botthat both pilots had ejected.  ‘trouble is, the local woman who called 911 while she witnessed the crash, said there was “No time for them to eject……it happened so fast.”  Her version of the event has been replayed on US1 Radio many times.  The national story is now changing.  National news is not necessarily the real the news.
The NRA argues that we citizens need more guns, not fewer. There are now 4 million gun owners with 357 million guns. Their argument is that the 2nd Amendment is needed for a well regulated militia to defend our citizens. Why should we continue to support the Dept. of Defense at a cost of 600+ billion to pay for the world’s most powerful military when we could take these 4 million gun owners and give them some training and they can go forth and take their weapons and begin to defend our country from anyone stupid enough to attempt to attack. This would free up much of our service personnel for other more useful duties here at home, while turning many of these gun owners into trained militia members who would get a real chance to use their weapons and apply their skills. This is, if they have what it takes to be a citizen soldier, as other nations people are required to do.   ~Mike Gushey


Our President went shopping for walls Tuesday. I hope he picks one that will match the drapes! Video

[“FTR on violence”] It’s not just liberals who are sick of the mass murders by semi-automatic weapons. You’d think as ex law enforcement you would prefer the police not be outgunned or allow the general public (possible criminals) access to armor piercing bullets as well as heavy duty vests. You need to update your logic as this world is getting sicker by the day!
[Developers Win] I see where they voted to add 15 ft to the height limit of buildings on Stock Island. They thought they did it for more affordable housing, but it is only so developers can add another floor to increase their profits (some people are so easily fooled). Now that Pandora’s Box has been opened we are screwed. The place will look like Clearwater beach in 10 years or less.
Buying a gun should be a right after one is checked, tested and approved by professional medical people. The only reasons to own a firearm are for police’s defense, hunting (like who really has to hunt today) and home defense if you live in Miami! If the world lost all weapons, the only people who would need such are game wardens.
[Easter Concerts] The Lower Keys Community Choir and Keys Chamber Orchestra invite you to attend their annual Easter concerts.  This year, we will be performing “The Easter Story” by Tom Fettke and Thomas Grassion along with several other pieces.  Concerts are Monday, March 19, 2018 at Big Pine United Methodist Church, 280 Key Deer Blvd Big Pine Key and Wednesday, March 21 at the Venture Out Pavilion, 701 Spanish Main Drive Cudjoe Key.  Both concerts begin at 7:30 p.m.  If you would prefer to watch via the internet, check out Live Concert just before 7:30 on Wednesday.  The final concert will be held Palm Sunday, March 25th, at the Key West United Methodist Church 600 Eaton Street at 4:00 p.m.  There are no admission fees, but a free-will offering will be taken.
The choir, containing 48 members, and orchestra, with 12 members, are comprised of local volunteers who live from Key West to Marathon.  Representing over a dozen churches in the area, they have been offering Christmas and Easter concerts in the Lower Keys for over 25 years.  Directed by Wayne Hulting and accompanied by Jim Fogle.  For more information, search for our Facebook page ‘Keys Chamber Orchestra’.
[“Gun ownership”] Fact check: False. Link


[Gun Are Dying] Listen to our kids. They are the future. Listen to them. You gun nut’s time is just about over. These kids will be our new leaders. Video

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.” RIP Stephen Hawking (1942-2018)
[“Security”] Wow, what a missive. Anyone remember when we left our doors and cars unlocked? No? Ah, that’s right, no more Conchs on my block. How is it that when the Keys were full of poor skid row islanders we could live without locks and now that it’s a millionaire’s paradise people are arming their homes with cameras and monitoring? Oh, that’s right, those homeowners don’t live here, they just own here. No more Conchs on my block!
[“No-nonsense identification of terminology”] We don’t care what you call weapons of war. Stop trying to impress the other gun nuts with your knowledge of nomenclature. It’s time for you and your gun-crazy NRAers to wake up and get rid of those killing machines and keep us and our children safe.

[Help Wanted] We have a few large video productions coming up and are looking to hire someone to assist us with the extra workload. This is a two week long project, which will require good computer and communication skills.Interested? Email us with your contact information.

[Traitors?] Only those who don’t believe in democracy and the ballot box fear our government someday will try to subjugate us. Those paranoid, confused Americans are the real danger to democracy. Their loyalty seems to lie in their possession of war weapons. Calling them traitors is going too far, but there’s a lot of truth in extreme statements like that.

[Horney Dolphin] Swim with the dolphins they say. It will be fun they say. Video

The problem with the 18-mile stretch are the people driving at or below the speed limit who increase their speed when they get to the passing zone.



[Gun Control] We control automobiles, why can’t we control guns?

[Illuminating KW] I wonder if diarists Hackley was reffering to gas lamps when he made that statement in 1857?
[Key West Orchid Society] Our next meeting will be on Sunday, March 18 at 1pm. Something different this month. Misha McRae has offered to give us a guided tour around the KW Tropical Forest & Botanical Gardens. We’ll see how the orchids are growing in a natural setting.  We could learn something, or even give advice.  The Gardens were pretty badly hit by Irma & we’ll see how they are recovering.  If you’ve never been there, don’t miss this opportunity to visit a truly amazing facility.

The Gardens are located on College Rd. on Stock Island. If you turn at the light the Gardens will be on your right



The inside of this guitar looks like an apartment I can’t afford.

[“Security”] “We know a realtor here in the Keys who routinely opens up front door locks with a pocket knife.” You might want to contact the Marathon & Lower Keys Board of Realtors. The CEO of the group would never tolerate that. Realtors are held to a code of ethics and you (as a citizen) have a right to file a complaint that will be heard through the Grievance Committee – and no, you will not be exposed for your filing. Do it today!



$10 off! Winn Dixie’s weekly ad. Link

[“FTR: Both the AR and the AK are lightweight and their ammo is light”] Wow! I’m sure that this information will be comforting to the victims’ families, who will now have to live with this nightmare until they die. And what’s the most disturbing thing is that the evidence is mounting and he seems to be ignoring it. Once again I can say about FTR Guy is that he’s consistent. Always following the party line.
I do not like the idea of more homeless shelters so more junk people can move here and reduce the property values and quality of life in the Keys. We all know the developers and holy rollers want to change our Keys into a crap shoot of profiteering scams to drive down the land values so they can buy up the debris left by We the People leaving, then build the hotel chains and casinos. Hopefully not in my lifetime.
[“Saving a lot more lives”] That is if you think saving lives is good for the over-population problem, then go ahead, have more mutants. We need the fertilizer and war toys.


[“Icons of Mafia and NRA”] Wow, there are some really sick sissies out there that post on this leftie blog!

I guess our county leaders will close the Spanish Harbor Bridge for fishing as soon as they finish the work on it; just like they did the other bridges and fishing spots from Card Sound south. So much for free fishing in the Keys. They call them self’s “leaders” for who?


Edison did not invent, or at least patent, the first light bulb until 1879.  It seems unreasonable then that the first electric street lights were used in Key West in 1857.

[Keys Future] Want to see what the Keys will be like when all the fun people leave and no party animals want to come down here, just look at the Konk Life pictures by Blackburn. KW is turning into Wrinkle City and Bentville USA
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