Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Expensive Boat Repair] Be aware that Big Pine’s Sea Center has new owners. Rec 90 fuel there is $1 per gallon higher than at the Fish Camp. And the horror stories are coming in about extreme repair bills. One friend was charged over $3400 to fix an intermittent fuel starvation problem on his outboard. I have a copy of the bill. Everything in the fuel supply system was replaced, including both new fuel pumps that only had a few hours use. The parts prices were higher than the MSRP. They extracted 125 gallons of “bad gas” from a 100 gallon tank. 50 gallons of it was fresh and had been burning fine. It cost $150 to take his 22′ single engine center console boat out of the water. Labor is $140 per hour. No estimate was provided. My friend was, I think, rightfully shocked and devastated at the price. You can bet he won’t be towed there if he has another problem. I hate to see Sea Center close again, but similar stories were shared at the bar when he told his story so I think people will shy away from the place as word spreads.  ~halloween@contractor.net
[Cindy’s Garden Tour] 1PM, Sunday,  September 15 at 21023 7th Ave. E, Cudjoe Key. MM 21. Turn South at the Sheriff’s Substation on Drost Drive into Cudjoe Gardens. Go 7 blocks, turn left (East) on 7th Avenue.  Cindy’s house is the 2nd on the left.  You are welcome to park on either of  my (Lulu) 2 driveways or the vacant lot across the street. The orchids might not be blooming in September, but likely the miniature roses will be colorful. I have a variety of flowering plumeria trees, hibiscus, and Natal plum bushes.  Stephanotis vines and Blueberry bushes are on the deck. The East lawn is partially shaded by mature Buttonwood trees,  Gumbo Limbo, Bismarckia, and a Coconut Palm. My Starfruit Tree, 5 varieties of bananas and plantains, Naval Orange, Calamondin, Fig, Grapefruit Trees, Surinam Cherry, Barbados Cherry, Mulberry, Soursop, Passion Fruit, and a garden of pineapples produce well.  The Aloe, Dragon Fruit, Agave Cactus, and Foxtail Agave were all gifts. Hedges of Handkerchief Aralia, Snowbush, and parlor palm provide great property borders.  Native plants and Dracaena border the canal. Assisted by the Key West Orchid Club.

 

[If I’m Elected] Snacks will no longer have the “lightly salted” option. Either play the game or go home.

[Friday Joke] A husband walks into Victoria’s Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price — the sheerer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him. Upstairs the wife thinks, I have an idea. It’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won’t put it on, but I’ll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, “Good grief! You’d think for $500 they’d at least iron it.” He never heard the shot.

 

 

 

Some feral Jersey girls getting ready for the Keys migration.

[Died Laughing] Monty Python’s funniest joke in the world. Video
[Trees Exploding] “The lava, overflowing the bed of Red Creek, threatened to cut off the road to the corral. The nearest rows of trees caught fire, and their sap, suddenly transformed into vapour, caused them to explode with loud reports.” Is this possible?

 

 

 

[“Key deer origin”] I thought the article on the Key deer previously posted was very interesting and reading through it gave me a great new name for a band “The Haplotypes”

[No Guns] I have a few friends who live in Australia and New Zealand and after those countries legislated gun control laws, crime went up through the roof. Why, because the bad guys know you cannot defend your home, business or self. Guns are not the problem, bad guys are.

 

[African Traditional Clothing] I think the style of traditional clothing worn by many Africans today is handed down from the cloth the early explorers used to bribe chiefs to pass through their lands. The most valuable “currency” the explorers possessed was cloth, beads and brass wire. The savages were paid in bundles of cloth, one for a goat, five for a slave, etc. These savages didn’t sew so they wrapped, twisted or tied the cloth around their bodies. Or they would cut a hole in the cloth and slip it over their head.  They saw the turbans the Arab slave traders wore and tried to copy those too, but with a little more flair.

[What3words App] The app that can save your life. This sounds like something everyone should have!  Recommended by rescue services. Link

 

 

What if they’re not stars, but holes poked into the top of the container so we can breathe?

[19th Century African Slaves] All public works are done here by slaves in chains, who perform a kind of plaintive melancholy dirge in recitative, to sooth their unavailing toil, which, with the accompaniment of the clanking of their irons, is the real voice of woe, and attunes the soul to sympathy and compassion, more than the most elaborate piece of music.
[Friday Joke] Doctor, “Mam, you have a suppository in your ear! That’s not where it goes.”
Old Woman, “Oh? Now I know where my hearing aid is.”

[Radiation] The only thing that scares me is radiation. This man made disaster will end all life on this planet because it never goes away. Stop anything radioactive and save the world.

Since all the hurricanes are coming from Africa, can we sue them?

 

 

Kiki’s Sandbar has excellent chefs. But do they know what a snapper fillet looks like? The photo is of a “Snapper sandwich” from Kiki’s, but of all the varieties of snapper I have filleted, I have never gotten such a wide fillet. However, this fillet looks just exactly like the tilapia fillets in Winn Dixie. ~halloween@contractor.net

[Mother Goose  & Red Riding Hood] the smooth-talking wolf with a sweet tooth for tasty young girls. Of all the scary stories told about that realm of dark enchantment, however, none more closely resembles a modern-day horror movie than the tale of Bluebeard. Though scholars have identified variants of this folktale in societies throughout the world, the version best known in our own culture was originally put into writing by French author Charles Perrault in his 1697 classic, Mother Goose Tales (Contes de ma mere l’Oye). Supposedly modeled on the infamous fifteenth-century sadist Gilles de Rais, Joan of Arc’s onetime field marshal, accused of the torture-murder of countless peasant children.
[Friday Joke] A couple were having some problems and went to see a counselor.  After a few questions he told them that it was important to know each other’s likes.  “For example,” he said to the husband, “do you know your wife’s favorite flower.”  “Sure” the husband said, “It’s Gold Medal.”  That’s when the fight started.
[OnePlus 5’s Software Updates] I actually love my One+ smartphone. I never thought I’d say that about any device, and I had to tell someone else because my wife’s sick of hearing about it. I’m a tech person so I buy stuff based on reviews and specifications, not the brand. This phone has all the same specs as the iPhone and for hundreds less. It even has some better specs then the iPhone. The One+ (I have the OnePlus 5, a three-year old model. The latest is the OnePlus Pro) updates the Android system more frequently than any other phone I’ve owned. That’s a big deal for me. I like the latest bell and whistle without having to buy a new phone every year. The only enticement for me to buy a new phone is if the new phone had some swell hardware improvement, but as far as software, I’m sticking with the OnePlus brand. I had a Huawei, but it never updated and I couldn’t use the latest bells and whistles. The Motorola Moto line only updated the operating system, like, once a year, boo, and rarely updated its software. I’m not comparing the OnePlus 5 to any newer phones, only phones that were made the same year as the 5.

 

 

 

Olga Manosalvas

[“Key deer origin”] That was the best explanation, by far, of the key deer subspecies that I’ve ever read. Also, I like all those tidbits from the Save Our Key Deer people. Keep it up!
[No Power] Thousands of U.S. residents are without power.  Tornadoes & flooding in the Midwest. Video

 

 

 

Big engines–little skill! That’ll buff out.

[“Happy 911”] Am I missing something? What was the intent behind the Happy 911 (I hate even to type the words) picture in Tuesday’s post?

 

 

 

These round homes have survived every major hurricane in the last 50 years, including Hurricane Dorian in the Bahamas. Link

The next meeting of the Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, September 14, 10 am at the senior center.  Having problems with your laptop, tablet or smartphone?  Maybe we can help.  Open to all! Full Menu > Ongoing Events