Letters to the editor with pictures since 2002. Published on Big Pine Key’s garbage days, Tuesdays and Fridays.

[Cutler Bay Militia] Coming back from Miami I stopped and had drinks with the “Cutler Bay Militia” who think if Trump is impeached the Right will rise up in arms and overthrow our government. I tried to tell them that only their circle of friends would rise up and no one of them would actually fire. The leaders might kill, but the rest wont. They think the military and police would join the revolt if the Second Amendment was changed. I reminded them that the chances of law enforcement and the military revolting was almost non-existent. This isn’t Venezuela. I also reminded them that the Navy has F-28s. POW! That gave them pause. I said that more than half their “militia” would back down before they killed one American. Their argument was that millions would take up arms for their cause. I asked just what their cause is. “Protecting the Second Amendment” (these guys are a living example of why the Second Amendment needs a tune-up).
Whenever I substituted the phrase “kill Americans” instead of their euphemisms like “take up arms” “call to action” “rise up” they backed down because killing Americans was terrible to them. I asked them who they were going to kill if not Americans? their neighbors? their associates? or their friends who wouldn’t kill other Americans for political purposes? They backed down, but still want to kill their enemies. I couldn’t get them to admit that their enemies are those Americans who have different opinions from them. I reminded them that’s why democracies have elections; to enforce the whole Constitution and the will of the majority. Their collective and immediate answer was, “The elections are fixed.” I knew then all was lost on them, paid my tab, wished them well, and drove back to the Keys.
[Flooding] We have to raise nearly all the County roads over a foot to keep them dry in the next 5 years due to sea level rise. Where does all that extra water come from? When you look at a satellite photo of the earth, you see lots and lots of blue surface. That’s liquid water, folks, and it covers about ¾ of the globe. Most of what you see that isn’t blue is land. If that melts, you have bigger troubles than sea level rise, right? At the poles, you see a little white. That might be snow or ice, and it might be floating or on land. If it is floating and melts, it will not raise the water level one millimeter. It just shrinks into the space it displaced in the ocean. What about glaciers on land, you say? If it is supported by land, then if it melts it can produce more liquid water — some of which might make its way to the ocean. You have seen the deep snow on the Weather Channel if not in real life. When it melts, it usually doesn’t amount to much. Most of it is absorbed by the ground.
As for glaciers of ice: First, they will shrink when they melt. Second, they will not all melt. Third, they occupy just a tiny fraction of the earth’s surface, so even if they did all melt and were on solid rock, just how high do you suppose they would have to be to raise the entire ¾ of the planet’s liquid surface a foot? Do you really think that will happen over the next 5 years anyway? Balderdash! Plus, you have to fall for the colorful myth of your heavy carbon footprint raising the temperature of the globe enough to melt all those glaciers in the next 5 years. Raising gas taxes will fix that, right? It is not yet winter, and the weather fear-mongers are rapidly running out of alphabet to name winter storms. Already in the U.S., there have been 85 reported avalanches and 6 people buried by them. That’s why they changed the name “global warming” to “climate change”. Personally, I would sooner deal with higher oceans and just boat to high ground than worry about avalanches. I wonder if Monroe County factored in the cost of raising all those goofy grinder pump stations and modifying the connecting piping in their central sewer system when they calculated the cost of raising roads? How did people become so gullible?
Uber’s own safety report shows 3,000 allegations of sexual assault last year. Link

 

 

[Veterans Stamp] New U.S. Postal Veteran stamps : PTSD.  Let’s help support the forgotten wounded. Thank a veteran for your freedom; they carry the burden for us all. Video

[Snakes] What should people do who find pythons and bad snakes in the over-grown lots next to their houses? Who do we call?
[Seal Level Rise] Officials in the Florida Keys announced what many coastal governments nationwide have long feared, but few have been willing to admit: As seas rise and flooding gets worse, not everyone can be saved. And in some places, it doesn’t even make sense to try. Link

 

 

I sure wish Dion’s would reopen on Big Pine.  I’m missing my Dion’s fried chicken.

[Anger] A punishment we give to ourselves for somebody else’s mistake.
The climate change poster states a fact, “We are in an interglacial warming period- glaciers have been melting for more than 11,000 years. Sea level rise is inevitable.”  Then he states his opinion as fact, “man cannot accelerate this process or slow it down.”

The error of his assumption is that rate of warming is increasing at an increasing rate. What we are experiencing now is happening in decades or a hundred years, not 11,000.  Take politics out of the equation and its common sense that this extreme rate of warming is caused by man. Why does he profess to be educated about climate and yet denies facts from most climate change scientists?

 

 

[Style] What people were wearing the year you were born. Let’s embark on a 100-year street style journey. Link

[Airline Crash] It’s amazing what a Dashboard Camera can sometimes catch. This is the moment before the Ethiopian Flight 409 Boeing 737-800 Max crash. The people in the car are just driving along the highway & caught everything on film. Video

 

 

[Brooming] When I got home from work my wife started complaining.  She said, “I’ve got blisters on my hand from the broom.”   I said, “Well, next time take the car.” That’s when the fight started.

Dear Satan, an animated short video about a girl who accidentally writes letter to Satan Instead of Santa. Video

 

Mushroom hunters have long fanned out across the forest floor seeking what can be lucrative and delicious finds for teas, broths and medicinal remedies. But what does climate change mean for the fungi? Video

The final tour of the legendary Johnny Rivers. Video

 

 

I’m confused. Is this a nativity scene or is it two T-Rex fighting over a watermelon in a shed?

[Friday Joke] A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a bar one day comparing their two cultures. Over a double bourbon, the Greek mentions, “We built the Pantheon, and the Temple of Apollo.”
“Well, it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”
“But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”
“Granted, but it was the Irish who built the first timepieces.” Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality, “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”
“True enough, but it was the Irish who got women involved.”
[Martial Law] What really would happen if America was to get martial law? Would the military take over? Would all the businesses be controlled by government? Would they round up all the bad guys like in the movies?

 

[Fast Food] We sure could use a good fast food place on BPK.  Burgers, fries and pies.  We working folk often don’t have time to sit in a restaurant for a meal.  Not a big chain joint.  Just a good mom & pop place with a drive through.  And, in my humble opinion, anything from Tom Thumb sucks as far as lunch goes.

[Sea Level] Florida Keys deliver a hard message: as seas rise, some places can’t be saved. Link
[Ignorance Is Bliss] Sometimes I wonder if it wasn’t for the news spinning their intensified topics, that the world would be a lot more peaceable.

 

[Upper Shoulder Boulder Holder] Why are they called bras and not boobie traps?

[Defense Spending for December] General Dynamics Electric Boat Corp. (GDEB), Groton, Connecticut, is awarded a $22,209,893,409 fixed-price-incentive, multi-year modification to previously-awarded contract N00024-17-C-2100 for construction of nine Virginia-class submarines, eight with Virginia Payload Module (VPM), from fiscal 2019 to fiscal 2023.  The contract modification includes spare material and an option for one additional submarine with VPM.  If the option is exercised, the cumulative value of this contract will increase to $24,097,439,556. I think that’s 24 trillion! Link

 

 

 

[Gift of Life] There are two upcoming opportunities on BPK to give the gift of blood for eligible donors and to receive this OneBlood Fleece Blanket plus a Wellness Checkup including blood pressure, pulse, temperature and iron count. Look for the Big Red Bus. Thank you.
Sunday 12/8 8:30 AM – 1:00 PM at Keys Vineyard Community Church
Monday 12/16 10:30 AM – 4:30 PM Bealls, BPK Shopping Center

[?] The #metoo money grabbers need to know what “fisting” is before they sue some poor shook for all he’s worth. Enough of this crap.

 

 

Protect against pet scams. Considering buying a pet this holiday season? Make sure you do your homework before buying. Unfortunately, there are scammers out there who will lure their victims in with the promise of a new furry friend only to defraud them of hundreds or even thousands of dollars. Link

[Affordable Housing Fire Traps] I love the instant housing the developers are sticking all over paradise because we need places for the lower income people so they can enjoy the fruits of the Keys as we northerners do every year. I was told these “buildings” are a fire trap waiting to happen, is that true?
[Change] It is a pity to watch the Keys turn into a castrated island chain and being inundated by sissies and holy rollers that are killing off any reminisces of the wile and crazy party paradise it once was.