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Celebrating Big Pine Key’s Garbage Pick Up Days:
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  I walk by this wild sapodilla every day and felt bad because it died, then one day last week I saw buds on every tip and a few leaves popping up, so I took a picture. Lo and behold, the very next day the tree was covered in new waxy-green, shiny new leaves, from an inch to inch and a half. Oh, the wonders of nature! |
| Watching Afghan war movies and listening to GIs telling each other about ‘winning hearts and minds’ is gut wrenching. Just listening to that phony bullshite of a dream world makes me cringe. We thought that slogan would win the war. If that didn’t win them over we would give them a pallet, yes a “pallet” piled high with US money (money they used to buy arms and bombs to be used against us). |
 [Gentleman] In the 17-18th centuries gentleman did not work because he was rich. No gentleman ever worked. Idleness was the mark of a gentleman. Work was for the lowed classes. |
| How the Turner Twins are mythbusting modern gear. Ross and Hugo Turner are genetically identical professional adventurers. By dressing one in cutting-edge technical apparel and the other in 100-year-old heritage kit on the world’s toughest expeditions, they are conducting the ultimate A/B test on modern gear. Video |
 [Book Club] After Oz by Gordon McAlpine. March 21 at the Big Pine library at 10am.Kansas, 1896. After a tornado destroys the Gale family farm, eleven-year-old Dorothy goes missing. As the days pass, the Gales are increasingly terrified the worst has happened. But when the girl turns up unharmed four days later, the townsfolk breathe a sigh of relief. That is, until Dorothy herself relates her account of the events that took place during her disappearance. In vivid detail, Dorothy describes a fantastical land and its magical inhabitants: a scarecrow, a tin man, a cowardly lion, a wizard, a witch. Her recollections are not only regarded as delusional, but also as pagan and diabolical in nature, especially when the body of a local spinster is found matching Dorothy’s description of a witch she claims to have killed. Authorities find incriminating evidence tying Dorothy to the real murder, and they sentence Dorothy to the Topeka Insane Asylum. When twenty-eight-year-old psychologist Dr. Evelyn Grace Wilford arrives at the asylum to interview Dorothy, she begins to wonder if Dorothy truly committed the crime or if something unfathomable has really occurred. In a small town full of insidious secrets, Evelyn sets out to save Dorothy from her terrible circumstances, but can’t help but fear whether something menacing may be lurking just out of sight. Link |
| [Friday Joke] A guy goes into a company for a job interview. The interviewer asks him, “What would you consider to be your biggest weakness?” The guy thinks for a minute and says, “I’m honest with everyone. I don’t know how to be anything other than completely honest, no matter what someone asks me.” The interviewer says, “I don’t really see how honesty could be considered a weakness. In fact, I think it’s a great strength!” The guy looks the interviewer right in the eye and says, “I don’t really care what you think.” |
 [Gas Profit] I find it hard to call it anything but making a large profit that they are not entitled to. I speak of local gas stations that 20 and 30,000 gallon tanks of gas underground, all paid for. That gasoline is sold to the public for X amount of dollars. All of a sudden the situation in Iran breaks out and all those gasoline stations jack up prices on product already purchased and paid for! Yes, the Iran situation will create a rise in price, but not on the gasoline that is in tanks and paid for. That is plain out price gouging. |
| [Dead Birds] More than 1 billion birds in the U.S. are killed from collisions with windows every year and nearly half of all collisions occur at residential buildings. Making your windows more visible to birds is one of the most effective ways to protect birds at your home year-round. Video |
 Pedicabbing doesn’t make me a better person. By trying to become a better person, however, I am becoming a better pedicab chauffeur. This is the story of a little spiritual journey I’ve taken over the last year, stimulated in part by my pedicabbing. Link |
| Sam Altman: Yesterday at lunch a friend asked me what tech trend he should pay attention to but was probably ignoring. Without thinking much I said “artificial intelligence”, but having thought about that a bit more, I think it’s probably right. Link |
 I hope I’m never a Shriner and have to ride in one of those silly little cars and wear a fez. |
| [Diver Down] Abhinav Lamba, 43, vacationing from India, was swimming on Molasses Reef around 11 a.m. when the crew of a commercial dive boat noticed him in distress before going beneath the water’s surface. Link |
 [Steve Parke’s best photograph] Prince laughed like a kid as I painted “Free” on his stomach’ ‘The art director wanted it to read “1999”. But Prince wasn’t having that. So the next thing I knew, I was writing “Free” on him with my fingers in gold paint’. |
| [Judge] Friends, did you know that Monroe County has to hire a new County Court Judge to fill an upcoming vacancy on the County Court bench? This new judge will hear civil and criminal cases, both misdemeanors and felonies. Did you also know that our judges are hired by you, personally? They are hired by your vote. There are no politics involved, judges are non partisan, they seek your vote without any regard to party, either Republican, Democrat, or Independent. That’s the way it should be. Judges must be completely blind to any political persuasions or motivations. They must be fearless umpires who simply call balls and strikes in litigation.
I’m convinced that a new judge should be a younger person. I would prefer a judge with a young family. Why? Simply because every judge should worry about the future of the community and the role that every judge plays in shaping that future by faithfully and fairly interpreting the law and the Constitution. I believe that any person seeking a judgeship should have been deeply involved in community service and in mentoring. As for me, I’m convinced that Kevin McCarthy checks all of those boxes, and many more. Mr. McCarthy was raised on Big Pine Key, his Dad is a medically retired NYC cop. As a teen, and even today, he us an athlete very much involved in the roller hockey community. He mentors youths. He’s been practicing law for 17 years, and is a skilled litigator. He is the Chief Assistant at the Public Defender’s Office, He teaches Criminal Justice at St Leo University in Key west at their satellite campus. I’m a retired 35+ years of service cop. I’ve had the privilege of working with and knowing scores of judges including Municipal, County, Circuit and Federal judges, many of whom who are still friends, and I’ve never known a person who is so well qualified, both professionally and by temperament to serve Monroe County as judge as is Kevin McCarthy |
 [Great Backyard Bird Count of 2026] Here is a quick snapshot of results. Link8,257 species of birds identified 216 countries or eBird subregions 467,696 eBird checklists 1,239,329 Saved Merlin Bird IDs (step-by-step, sound, or photo) 246,225 photos, videos, and sounds added to Macaulay Library 1,146,284 estimated global participants 435 reported community events |
 A Grammy-nominated songwriter, producer, performer, and touring artist, Mac McAnally’s songs have been recorded by artists including Jimmy Buffett, Kenny Chesney, Sawyer Brown, and Alabama, among many others. His musicianship has also appeared on recordings by artists including Dolly Parton, George Strait, and Toby Keith.The first of four free concerts begins Friday (Mar 20) night with a new Duval Street party featuring Gary and the Landsharks Band, hosted by Sloppy Joe’s and Irish Kevin’s. |
| [Friday Joke] During a visit to the mental asylum, a man asked the director, “How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?” The director said, “Well, we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer the person a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub.” The man nodded, “Oh, I understand! A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” The director frowned and motioned to the orderlies, “No, a normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed near the window?” |
 A Journey Through Infertility. I never thought becoming a mom was going to be an issue for me. I came from a fertile group of women. Link |
| [Historical Figures Killed by Critters] Some of the world’s most notable names were taken down by the animal kingdom. Whether it was a tiny insect or a massive predator, these creatures managed to do what political rivals and old age couldn’t. Link |
 [Big Boy No. 4014] World’s largest steam locomotive heads out on tour. Union Pacific’s Big Boy No. 4014 will travel coast-to-coast in commemoration of the semiquincentennial. Link |
| [Robin Williams Sad] 15 minute video that will make you think and maybe cry. Video (Editor: Oh, oh, I forgot to include the link for this in Friday’s post. So here it is.) |
 [Undocumented immigrants] Florida is widely regarded as the most aggressive state in its roundup of undocumented immigrants. So much so that we have now spent more than a billion dollars to construct and run Alligator Alcatraz, our very own concentration camp in the Everglades. But a committee of cops, appointed by G.O.P. leaders, is pushing back. Arresting hard-working immigrants who are helping our communities is stupid, they say. Now everyone’s fighting about it. Here’s the latest on this controversy. Link |
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 Oldest Living Actors 2026: Then vs Now. Video |
| A great many people think they are thinking when they’re merely rearranging their prejudices. |
 Clothes really do come back in style every 20 years. The math checks out, so hang on to those jeans. Link |
| [Friday Joke] A small plane is flying from Dallas to Denver when the engine sputters and dies. The pilot runs out of the cockpit, grabs a parachute, opens the door, then says, “Sorry, there are only three parachutes left,” and jumps out. This leaves 4 passengers: a boy scout, a college professor, a priest, and a doctor. The doctor says, “Guys, I need to be saved. I heal people and am a valuable resource to the human population.” He grabs a parachute and jumps out. The professor says, “Well, I’ve won the Nobel Peace Prize and spoken to the leaders of the free world. The President of the United States has called me the smartest man alive. It is obvious I need to be saved.” He grabs a parachute and jumps out, leaving the priest and the boy scout… but only one parachute. The priest smiles sadly at the boy and says, “Son, I’ve lived a long and fruitful life. You are young and have the rest of your life in front of you. Take the last parachute.” The scout replies, “It’s okay, Father. The smartest man alive just jumped out of the plane with my knapsack.” |
| The current Coconut Telegraph was published on 3/20/26 at 9:33 am. |
[REDUCED] Big Pine Key. 3 bedrooms. 2 full bathrooms. House on stilts over full concrete slab. Bay window in Kitchen plus a pantry. Stainless steel appliances. Plenty of kitchen cabinets and granite counter tops. Dining area/living room. Big front porch. Large, locked storage room downstairs. Covered parking for two vehicles. Central air conditioning plus heat. Back two bedrooms have additional mini-split A/Cs for custom cooling. Very bright and clean and in a quite neighborhood. Laundry area in hallway. Only 3 houses are on the street and none are across from the home. $550,000.
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