The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

[KW Home Invasion] Three wannabe thugs robbed a classmate and his mother in their home this week. All Key West High School kids. One is a football standout on the high school team whose mommy is an assistant to the mayor in Key West. Let’s see who gets tried as an adult out of this group and who gets preferential treatment.

I say try them all as adults with a life sentence being the goal – parole in 25 if they make it. The use of an AK-47 and hoodies is reserved for the worst of the worst. This was no mistake by them. They planned, dressed for, and acted out their crime. That means they also conspired in the planning of the crime, that’s conspiracy, so let’s load that charge on too.

The son of a Bubba is about to become a Bubbette for Bubba and boys in a state prison. Yo, tough guys, don’t pick up the soap, squat when you pee in your cell, catch you in 25 to life!

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[“Immigration clarification please”] I think what was stated went like this “non-American has no rights to be in America. That’s it, you just can’t be an American. You must first meet the criteria that I listed in my initial post. I don’t see the issue.”

Then, you’re not looking or understanding. Would you be surprised to learn that there are millions of non-Americans in this country quite legally at any given time? Not a single one of those persons is required to meet the criteria that you outlined to remain here. All of these people have officially recognized documentation allowing them to be here for whatever purpose. This country legally admits nearly one million immigrants annually plus all of the documented workers, students, etc. All of those people enjoy the rights and protections guaranteed by our Constitution, particularly the Bill of Rights.

Now, some of those individuals are seeking citizenship, an arduous, but necessary process. Others are here merely to contribute–they seek no permanency.

When it comes to undocumented aliens our Bill of Rights still applies. They are subject to arrest and deportation, if the system so determines. It’s called due process. But those protections still exist. We should be proud of that.

Sewer frustration about the rice rats? There are lots of rats running amok on Cudjoe Key, why I do not know. We never had them before the great FKAA started this project. Any pictures of rice rats so I don’t shoot and kill the wrong rat? Heavens to Murgatroyd, I kill an endangered species! They cheat at cards too.
[Height Limits] So you want them to build more homes and hotels for more people to cram in the Keys, huh? I just came back from the bloody post office and had a 15-minute wait in line to get my simple letter mailed. No, I don’t think I want the Keys redeveloped!
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Stephen Colbert imagines a Kid Rock-Ted Nugent Senate race.  Late Show host also interviewed a new fictional candidate for Michigan seat: Shriekin Joe, the Saginaw Psychopath. Video

 

[Sewers] The negative impact on wildlife from the Cudjoe sewer plant outflow will only get worse with time. In five years expect to see things that used to only come from the depths of the Marianas trench. I hope they go after the FKAA buildings first.

[Fake News] Despite President Donald Trump’s relentless attacks on the “fake news” media, a new poll from Quinnipiac University finds that more Americans trust the media than Donald Trump. Link
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[Home Invasion] Let’s see how the bubbas administer justice for three of their own. At the trial, we’ll hear what good kids they all are. Felony home invasion with a firearm or deadly weapon (assault rifle) in new town is worth life in prison. Choking the victim unconscious and pistol whipping is not the act of “good boys”. Oh, they just made a mistake? Boo hoo.

 

[Bus Stop Seats] When are our leaders in Marathon going to re-install the bus stop seats and canopies in front of Kmart? The workers who use the bus need them. Not the shopping carts on their side. They removed them from the side of Kmart because the homeless took them over, but never replaced them.

YouTube bans the birth of a baby giraffe for being “sexually explicit”. Duh! Video
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[Sewage] Little Palm Island is not trying to send sewage to shore. What they are proposing is to send the treated clear clean water that now goes down the well to be sent to shore. There will be no sewage leaks. It’s just the cleanest environmentally sound way to keep phosphorous, and nitrogen out of the environment!

 

[The times they are a-changin’] After being trashed numerous times by the Smothers Brothers, President Johnson wrote them, “It is part of the price of leadership of this great and free nation to be the target of clever satirists. You have given the gift of laughter to our people. May we never grow so somber or self-important that we fail to appreciate the humor in our lives.”

[Idea] Here’s an idea on killing two birds with one stone. In order to help make Big Pine cool-looking, have all the restaurants get together and erect two really nice “Welcome to Big Pine Key” signs “the good eats key” and list the restaurants below. This way tourists will stop to eat and identify Big Pine. Also have the school kids and local artists submit a design and the winner gets a free meal at each restaurant.
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[“Posts about Coconuts Bar and Lounge commenting that if not American, no rights are available, etc.”] My question is, how can someone post a response to a post that appears in the same issue? Does this mean that Coconuts Bar and Lounge owners are the Editor of the Coconut Telegraph? This is in reference to Feb 21, 2017 web posting. (Ed: I withheld the post until I got a response from Coconuts–a valued advertiser. I should have stated that, but I often fail to do the correct thing as you may have noticed. Mea cupla.)
[Traffic] Well gosh, if I had a dollar for every top down convertible (aka touron mobile) that I’ve seen on U.S. 1 the past few weeks, I might almost be able to pay my wind insurance bill!
When good news reaches terrible people. Link
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[Encryption] Google just cracked one of the building blocks of web encryption. Link
[Smart TV Watching You?] How to turn off smart TV snooping features. On a Samsung TV click the Settings icon in the main menu, look for Support, then scroll down to Terms & Policies. There are several options, including Viewing Information Services, Voice Recognition Services, and Nuance Voice Recognition and Privacy Notices. You can choose not to accept any of them. Then disable the Internet-based Advertising feature. Turning off the voice-related services will inhibit your use of voice-controlled functions with the TV, but you won’t notice any difference when you simply opt out of “viewing information services.” Link
The LG Watch Sport is too big for its own fitness-tracking good. Video
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[Developers’ Height Increase] From what I’ve found to read on the proposed construction height increase, it is being proposed for flood mitigation. Maybe I’m not seeing this issue correctly. I’m no engineer but if you are truly worried about flooded houses, wouldn’t you be concerned about the minimum height of the lowest elevated floor? I see this as just another developers and politicians scam to increase density. If the water rises to destroy property at 35 feet, is 38 feet going to save any property? Really? Say no to any height increase.
[Rat Poop] If you think you have rats or mice because you see this poop it’s not from rodents.  The pictured dropping is from the anole lizards that are everywhere down here.  The key identifier is the white spot at the end of the dropping.  Lizards poop & pee from the same orifice and the white spot is uric acid from their urine.
[Catering] My buddy’s daughter’s wedding was yesterday and The Green Turtle provided the food. Great hors d’oeuvres, great entrées. Very professional and everyone seemed to enjoy their meal. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend them.
If you have an electrical cord that has a broken ground on or near the end that plugs into the receptacle (like if the middle, round pin has broken off the cord), you could get a shock from any grounded tool or appliance on the other end. The ground wire will inductively pick up a voltage from the current-carrying wires. The same thing happens if the ground circuit is broken in your home wiring. Some electrician will probably say I am incorrect, but I have experienced shocks in these circumstances. Repairing the ground wire that was lost due to a rusted out metal conduit used as the ground on an old house eliminated the voltage on the light switch cover screw that had lifted me with a hearty shock. I think a Ground Fault Circuit Interrupter (GFCI) will not save you from the shock because it is only comparing current on the hot and neutral wires. I tried to find a discussion of this risk on the internet but did not have success. I did find a great article on GFCI theory and practice. I thought I was being clever by putting a box with a standard GFCI and a standard receptacle on the end of an extension cord so that I could plug in up to 4 tools for times when I was switching tools often, but it turns out is a code violation based on a theoretical safety risk of having an unreliable neutral wire on the circuit supplying the cord. Link
[Construction] Does anyone know what is being built between Skeeter’s and the storage place on US 1 in Big Pine Key? There’s been a construction trailer there for some months and all the boats are gone from the lot.
[Friday Joke] A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there’s a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He’s been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
“Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
“Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,” she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap. They had a wonderful time. He stays for breakfast. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been so incredible!
“You know,” he said, “you are the perfect woman, are you this nice to every guy you meet?”
“No,” she replies, “You just happened to catch my eye.”
The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, February 25, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there! Full Menu > Ongoing Events
[Letter By A Florida Teacher] Do you know that we have adult students at the school where I teach who are NOT U.S. citizens and  who get the PELL Grant, which is a federal grant (no payback required) plus other federal grants to go to school? Link
[Developers] Buffett’s Margaritaville Holdings company has agreed to become a strategic partner in developing its planned 6,900-home community for residents 55-and-older on the north side of LPGA Boulevard, just west of Interstate 95. What’s his song go like, “I don’t make my music for money, I just make my music for me”? Link

 

 

One word essay: Awe

[Fine Dining] Waiter to parents of screaming child, “Yes we do have a happy meal. It’s when you leave that kid at home.”
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[Texting vs Email Records] As you know, Superintendent Porter informed the School Board about the sexting issue at HOB via text message.  I was told yesterday that Superintendent Porter also used a text message to inform the Board regarding the three KWHS students who were arrested.  I do not know how often the superintendent uses text messages in his communications with the Board and others and why he would use a text message rather than an email for any given issue.

This use of text messages for the superintendent of schools to communicate with the School Board concerns me because MCSD does not have a policy regarding the preservation and public access to text messages.  It would be very easy to circumvent Florida public records laws by changing communication from preserved and accessible emails to text messages.  My thought is to address this subject now before it becomes a problem.

I have communicated my concerns with Board member Bobby Highsmith and urged him to draft the policy regarding preservation and public access to text messages within MCSD.  I have suggested that perhaps the new PIO could be charged with drafting such a policy.

I expect that you in the Fourth Estate would share my concerns on the subject, hence this communication.

[Free the Nipple] Coming to a town near you? Judge says women can go topless in Colorado town. Judge says ban maintains stereotype that female, but not male, breasts are sex objects.
Cannabis industry roiled by White House comments on enforcement. “I do believe you’ll see greater enforcement; of federal laws against recreational marijuana use” said press secretary Sean Spicer.
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A Slice Of Paradise Pizza on Summerland Key 305-744-9718. Business Directory > Restaurants

 

 

 

Alternate facts are spreading like a cancer.

Will Sombrero lighthouse ever have an anemometer again? NOAA got, how many millions to grow rocks, but not the weather.
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[“Immigrants learning English”] Like Joey the Lip use to say, “You wanna stay, you gotta play.”
The Paradoxical Commandments
1 People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
2 If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
3 If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
4 The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
5 Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
6 The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
7 People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
8 What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
9 People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
10 Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.”   ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store, down town Pine Key
[Monroe County Schools] Lets see, Superintendent Porter got a nice raise by signing a new contract. What about the $20,000 dollars that vanished into thin air and now he hires a new spokesperson at an annual salary in the range of $63,000 to $85,000 instead of addressing the major problems of bus driver shortages and having an aide on every single bus! The school board in their infinite wisdom has put kindergarten thru 8th grade on the same bus, my children say a day does not go by without hearing a f-bomb or some kind of sexual talk. Wake up school board, do the right thing for a change.
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[“Immigration clarification please”] This person must not understand we are being invaded!
[FTR’s Paid Political Comment] It is completely understandable that the Progressives amongst us are running in circles, shrieking, with their hair afire.

Just think about the astonishing fact that they are likely to choose Kieth Ellison as the leader of their party, he is a supporter of some our nations most virulent anti-Semites, Louis Farrakhan and Stokely Carmichael. Mr. Ellison has voiced his belief that the 9/11 terror attack on the USA was akin to the Reichstag fire, set by Hitler acolytes, that helped bring Adolf Hitler to power in Nazi Germany. Mr. Ellison is also famed for declaring that it was the Germans who attacked Pearl Harbor.

Then there is the great news that now about forty-six percent (46%) of likely U.S. Voters think the country is heading in the right direction.  Rasmussen so reported earlier today. That’s up a point from the previous week. This is the fourth week in a row that this finding has been in the mid-40s after running in the mid- to upper 20s for much of 2016. The latest finding is higher that any week during the Obama presidency.

The Democrats/Progressives have lost thousands of offices that they once held.  They have no map for moving forward.  Their only recourse is riot, mayhem, wailing, weeping, and gnashing of teeth. Link

This cross over humanity[?] crap has got to stop. It ruined Egypt, Rome and other civilizations with these weirdo’s taking power. Keep America beautiful, throw out the trash. PC should mean Publicly Correct
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