Categories
2020

Friday, November 27

 

[Tax Prep Volunteers] Do you want to be a superhero to some of your hard-working friends and neighbors? United Way of Collier and the Keys is offering a remote volunteer opportunity with the VITA free tax preparation program for households with limited incomes in Collier and Monroe counties.

Volunteers will work remotely from home, as IRS-certified volunteer tax preparers, with oversight and assistance from the VITA Program Coordinator. Volunteers help fellow residents maximize their tax return so they are better able to provide for their families, thereby making our community more affordable.  Bilingual volunteers are especially appreciated.

No tax experience is necessary, just a willingness to learn, grow and serve.  After attending a free, remote training and passing the online certification, volunteers remotely assist taxpayers prepare and file their taxes, January – April, using the cloud based IRS software, TaxSlayer, and videoconferencing with clients. Link

[“Name that hawk”] The hawk with the wide white band on its lower back is a northern harrier, sometimes called marsh hawk.

[Railings on US1] Can someone explain, or at least speculate, about why the intermittent, randomly spaced wooden railings exist on the bike path between Big Pine and Little Torch?  Or every were else for that matter- including those expensive aluminum ones.
[For Rent] 2 bedrooms. One bath. Unfurnished Duplex on clean boating canal w/seawall going to Pine Channel and coral reef. Tiled floors throughout. Stainless steel appliances. Ceiling fans in living room, kitchen and bath. Laundry room. Small screened porch. Very clean. A/C., large brick patio. Parking for 2 vehicles. Ground level. Port Pine heights subdivision. Quiet neighborhood. 750 square feet. No smokers or dogs. $1800 a month. First, last and $1000 security ($4600 total to move in) Utilities not included. 3970 No Name Road. Port Pine Heights sub-division. For more info. 305-872-1428. More pictures on Craigslist. Link

1. Alcohol consumption is up by 14% and 17% for woman compared to just a year ago.
2. Alcohol robs the body of crucial REM sleep and can trigger a “rebound effect” waking you up in the wee hours after its sedative effects have worn off

[Friday Joke] I got pulled over on the turnpike for speeding and the trooper took my paperwork back to his car to check and write ticket. When he came back to my car, he said here are your papers, Sir, your speeding ticket and you license states you must be wearing glasses, and you aren’t so here is another ticket!

I said, “Officer, I have contacts” The trooper replied, “I don’t care who you know, you’re still getting this ticket. Have a nice day.”

[Gifts Too Expensive] My kids and wife hate the holidays because the merchants only think about greedy profits and could not care less about those who can’t afford to pay their greedy prices. We will never celebrate any holidays again
[New Format] Deer Ed, Love the new format. Makes it much easier to read on my phone! ~Dave

 

[New Format] I really like the new format. It’s much easier for us older guys.

[New Format] I much preferred your other format.  The new format has no style at all. (Editor: Thanks for letting me know. I hope to improve it as soon as I figure out how to use it. Those ads on TV you see that tell you you can build a website in ten minutes. Don’t believe them.)
[New Format] Looky here, a new format for The Telegraph. It looks great. When it comes to content marketing, appearances are everything. Good job. It looks contemporary.
[New Format] The new CT format is much better, I can enlarge or shrink it to fit my device the way I need to. Thanks. ~B
[Benefits Of Covid Mask #6] It stops me from picking my nose in public.

[“Civil War”] Technically the war was not fought over slavery, but States’ rights as was explained in a previous post. But everyone knew it was about slavery. Letters, speeches, first-hand accounts and books (Sherman and Grant’s autobiographies both,  talk about slavery as the cause. Every southerner knew the South couldn’t survive without slavery and abolitionist were growing more and more influential.
[Donate Blood] Monday, November 30 – Bealls  11:00am – 4:00pm. Link

[Seaweed] A sargassum bloom the width of the Atlantic Ocean caused havoc on beaches, but locals in Mexico and the Caribbean are fast finding ways to turn the seaweed invasion to their advantage. Link

[The End Is Near] We are thankful that we can look forward to the next Thanksgiving without restrictions. Unless we are the turkey of course.

[“The Civil War was not fought over slavery but over State’s rights vs the Federal government’s rights”] Technically correct, but number one of those States’ rights was the right to own slaves as property, not as humans. Dancing around the truth doesn’t change history. Everyone knew that the underlying cause, the elephant in the room, was slavery. Too say otherwise is just semantics.
[“Bullets for less than a dollar each”]  Ha! You should hold on to those precious metals – brass and lead – as shortages abound. If the gun grabbers come as promised they’ll be worth more than gold. A box of 9mm hollow point ammo is already worth more than an ounce of silver!

[Small Peepees] The real reason that men in classical portrayals were given small “manhoods. Link

You know your old when you sleep, often changing positions, ie head to feet, feet to head, get out of bed in the middle of the night, and head for the bathroom, but end up in your walk-in closet.

 

“Take us to your leader-elect.”

 

Aliens abandoned this building project after assessing how f**ked Earth is. Link

[Big Hooters] More money is spent today on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer’s research. By 2035 there will be a large elderly population with big boobs, huge erections and absolutely no idea of what to do with them.