The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

movie director megaphone[“Conspiracy man”] Wrong again. The gun shop owner did not give “the FBI the address, name and all the information he had on Mateen.” Also “a suspicious Arab man had just purchased an abundance of ammunition, rifles & guns and body armor.” Marteen tried to buy body armor, but since he didn’t buy anything the shop owner had no name or address. So who was the FBI supposed to arrest without that information.

I think Conspiracy Man should stop trying to think like a nut while drinking. “I simply stated the facts according to my research” He should do his research in other places other than looking down the bottom of a long-neck. Just because you can imagine a scenario doesn’t make it a fact only an interesting plot for a movie. You should become a director and put your imagination to better use than trying to promote fear and distrust.

[Zoning Corruption] Nothing new under the sun, just more government mismanagement and corruption, this time again with Dolphin Marina and sacred cow Noble House, and again with the usual players. This article shows just what happened and presages what the next step seems to be with their gated community and their scurvy attempt to change the zoning. We’re supposed to respect this? Link
[FTR] While the Oxitec controversy swirls around us, precious time is being wasted. Time that could be put to use to push back against Zika. Why is that important? Because the CDC has determined that Zika causes microcephaly and other severe fetal brain birth defects!

Until last Friday evening, it had not been revealed that Zika may already be in Monroe County. Mosquito Control Board, Vice Chair, Steve Smith, revealed for the first time that at least one probable case of Zika is under investigation by public health authorities. Smith made the reveal during an interview on US1 Radio by Bill Becker. What is a surprise is that Smith is dead set against deploying Oxitec.

One must also wonder why Mr. Smith chose to release this confidential information. Information such as this is within the purview of public health authorities, not the mosquito control board. Such information is usually closely held by the public health authorities. It is reported that the information concerning the suspect Zika case had been shared with the Mosquito Control Board commissioners by public health official with an admonition that it be kept confidential. Nonetheless Mr. Smith chose to release the confidential information. It is telling that he chose to so do during an interview at a political gathering. Mr. Smith is a is a candidate for re-election.

zika-babyThe dreadful reality of Zika being in our homes should be no surprise. There are nearly 200 Zika cases reported in Florida, about 40 involve pregnant women. Miami/Dade and Broward County harbor more than half of those cases.

Many who are aggressively opposed to the use of GM/GE in vector control for Zika are being misled and manipulated by some prominent members of the local power establishment. The power brokers motive is simple. They fear that their property values will be negatively affected by the Oxitec initiative. These individuals value their profits over public health.

The Oxitec initiative will not cure any disease. It is a prophylactic measure. Currently there is no vaccine against Zika. There are vaccines under development, but these are but a hope for the future, and in any event these vaccines are the products of GE/GM. Products that would be injected directly into your body. There is chatter about a bacteria that may contribute to vector control. That research is immature, ready only for small scale testing monitored by the EPA, not the FDA.

Deploying the Oxitec initiative is prudent, and safe. Those who push back against it are putting our community health at risk.

Candidate night interview with Becker suspect case Zika.

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When, and if (humor), the sewer system backs-up, what are we locals supposed to do and where can we go? It is not like a hurricane (but may be) so are our expenses deductible? What if my home is destroyed by poo? Who pays to clean up the mess and rebuild? Something doesn’t smell right about this sewer deal.
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[“Ramp closed”] I looks like they are putting in new docks and that’s the reason the ramp at SR4A will be closed for months. I hope they’ll be doing something else to justify the long closure during some of the best boating weather of the year.

It’s amazing how my kids are addicted to their cell phones and laptops. The good part is they now know how to communicate with other semi-humans and are learning to read and write. Next is to get them to work for their living at real jobs.
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Watch out for Bambi. The does have been dropping fawns like bombs and the little brainless critters are darting back and forth across all the streets all around here.

[Immigration Reform] Here’s my immigration policy. Accept refugees who have college educations first, something valuable to offer next, and those who can prove they are willing to assimilate into our culture after that, and those who learn English. There should be a language requirement for all refugees, including Cubans.
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London’s mayor, Boris Johnson, looks a lot like the actor Gary Busey and acts a lot like him too. Johnson is the rabid dog who lead the fight to leave the EU.

I saw the ‘walking man’ on Cudjoe Thursday morning just after 9. He looks like he’s from the sewer contractor, but he can’t be because he doesn’t look Spanish. He’s wearing a bright green reflective vest and has a cigarette dangling from his furry face.
sewing machineMy mother was an excellent seamstress and made most of my clothes. Just before school would start she’d drag me downtown on the bus. We’d go to the top stores where she’d find the latest style of shirts and examine them carefully. I remember her running her fingers along seams and turning the collars inside out, examining their construction. Then we’d go to the fabric store (oh, how I hated that store—totally boring. The only good thing there is that I could slide my hand under the bolts where it felt cool and smooth and made a sound as I slid my hand around.) Then we’d ride home on the bus and she’d take some old news paper and make a pattern for the shirts. She’d crank out a bunch for the whole year using different fabric and colors. She was an amazing seamstress. I was very well dressed, but I never told anyone my mother made my clothes because she didn’t have extra money to buy them.

Times have changed and now I’d brag about having my clothes custom tailored and would be the star of the clothes horses at school.

I was laughing at the lighted road sign on the side of the road on Big Pine that flashes, “Thieves like easy targets. Lock your car” and then flashes, “Welcome to Paradise.”   You just can’t make this stuff up.
Johnsons-ad 4.12.2016
Pray to the Ganga God? With a puff of smoke, Cannabis Church kicks off.  Fifty seekers – and one protester – gathered at First Cannabis Church of Logic and Reason.  Link
shark fin circles manSharks don’t eat people. They are so fast and strong that if they wanted people they would come in your house and have you for dinner. No one could make a get-a-way from a shark that had you in mind for a snack. This video shows a hammerhead out maneuvering a tarpon. I have seen this take place live and in real time, it’s breathtaking & heart breaking at the same time. I have also seen the same play acted out with spotted eagle rays. Sharks don’t eat people, lucky us.

PS, I’m not saying they don’t make a mistake every once in a while.   ~Coconuts Bar & Liquor Store. Link

[“FTR on ‘skeeters”] That spiel was a bit out there to say the least. The folksy-type rhetoric suggests a small mind and lack of education. Typical of the CT. The only way to rid ourselves of dangerous pests is to let the scientists develop DNA based chemicals that eliminate the hazards such as mosquitoes, feral cats, iguanas, political parties, illegals, bad bartenders and real estate agents, to mention a few. Where do I send money?
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The Grimal Grove may be one of our most precious and legendary gardens in continental North America.

Central sewers were never really about protecting the environment. The whole sewer scam was designed to allow massive development of the Keys into another Boca, but they screwed it up by cutting costs to build big enough plants. Look at the old Keys blueprints for the old housing developments back in the 50’s and 60’s. Big Torch Key had a property layout for 1000’s of small trailer lots, but the engineers could not figure out where to dump the poo, so they scheduled the build. It is the same ploy to make money and the bubbas will do as they damn well please. Next is to deepen all canals and access cuts for bigger boats (yachts). This has been told to you locals for years, but you don’t give a damn. Follow the money!
raft paddleing men[We Foot/Dry Foot] Twenty years ago I sailed from Key West to Marina Hemmingway in Cuba. It wasn’t legal, but I knew I’d be out of the country for more than seven years, and wanted to see what I was supposedly forbidden to see. The evening before my departure I took my dingy over to another boat and talked with them for about 15 minutes. Upon arrival at Marina Hemmingway I was informed that my “friends” would be there at about 2:30. Sure enough the boat I had taken my dingy over to talk to sailed in at 2:45. I have never believed that Cuba’s surveillance was that much better than ours, so assume some of the same greed and avarice that led a man with position to take out a contract hit on Bruce Schmidt was responsible for all, or at least most, of the Cuban immigrants. My experiences in Cuba and other countries make me understand the desperate wish to immigrate to the US, and I don’t have a problem with that, but most of our forefathers worked their butts off to pay their debt to whomever sponsored them. Mine came in with the Hessians and fought in the Revolutionary War to pay their way for coming.  Wet foot/Dry foot needs to end, and that greed and corruption will go the way of all good (or bad) things.
[“Dolphin Marina development”] Corruption County, FL sounds better than Moron County!
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[Rare Historical Photos in Color] They have been sharpened and colored and look fantastic! Link
snapper-fish-box-bI fish because I love to, because I love the environs where fish are found, because I suspect that men are going along this way for the last time, and I for one don’t want to waste the trip, and, finally, not because I regard fishing as being so terribly important, but because I suspect that so many of the other concerns of men are equally unimportant and not nearly as much fun. Go fishing. Take a kid, they will show you how to have fun. You do remember fun?  ~Coconut Bar & Liquor Store
[“Dolphin Marina expansion”] Since when is it legal to rezone a residential hood so a freaking house can be turned into an international hotel? Some people just don’t get what the Keys are all about. Go develop Texas or Mexico.
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[‘”Fresh’ fish”] I have to laugh when a server tells me they have red grouper sandwiches, yellowtail snapper dinners, hogfish platters, etc.  I have seen the Sysco Food Services trucks delivering to almost all of the restaurants down here. That fish is most likely tilapia from China or some other weird Asian fish. I always want to ask the servers to show me the fish head.

Deer Ed, Keep up the political isolation, you’re doing a great job!
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I am a personal entertainer and I want to know if my supplies and equipment are tax deductible? such as body lubes, personal protection, adult toys, batteries, work clothes, knee pads, and other tools of the trade? Transportation and temporary lodging expenses too.

[Sewers] I wonder what the Keys will be like if the country has a major electrical power outage and we can’t flush out toilets because the sewer system has no freaking power to suck the stuff to their billion dollar poop plant!
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We have 160 times more gun murders in the US than Britain has. Of course, we’re 3 times the size, but that’s still 50 times more gun violence. Not 50% more, 50 times more. What’s the difference: Britain banned assault weapons 20+ years ago!
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[“Boat ramp closed for summer”] Public boat ramps. Link

[“GMO bugs”] They have been using  GMO fruit flies since the 70’s.  Most of our grain is GMO. It’s no big deal.
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Can anyone tell me of an honest auto repair shop? Notice I did not say ‘cheap’. I expect to pay for quality service. Please, if possible, name a few. I am sure I will get some owners touting their own service by some completely unbiased “customer”. I have always payed cash and given generous tips, none of which seem to matter.

[“Credit vs debit cards”] As a business owner, I love debit cards because I get my money instantly from the customer’s bank. The credit card sometimes doesn’t do that and the banks float the funds for profit. Then of course cash is holy!
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[Forced Choices] It all boils down to people who think they have the right to tell others how to live their lives like with abortion issues, dress codes, sex choices and just about everything else someone doesn’t like and want others not to do. Your life is yours to do what you damn well please to do with it on this rock
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Never attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance. People are far more stupid than they are evil.
drunk winoKey West is a good place only if you know the dark inside, and then only so if you don’t get trapped by the vermin that live day to day in the primordial soup deep in the alleys and mangroves. These walking dead aren’t just addicts, they aren’t druggies, they aren’t the downtrodden. They are vermin, that’s right vermin that do not even care about themselves. There is no saving these zombies. They are so fucked up that they are too chicken shit to end their own failed existence and the misery of their disease.

When you have seen and lived in the undertow here, you can then understand how it really works, tell it to the starry-eyed tourists and they won’t care or understand. This is paradise to them.

If you brave the undertow in Key West, you will be immersed in its’ lowest rung. And if you have it together enough to run with the crust above, the money people, you can run among the vultures just for the laughs. The vultures are typically really just a failure running from somewhere else, no matter how much money they have.

Many try to do the tours for an extended stay, and many have failed and got their shit clocked and had to run back to where they came from. And when they got back, they aren’t the same again. They thought they were going to their paradise. They were, and they got what they thought it was. Themselves. And that caused them to scurry back to their safe hole, like the vermin they are. Just another item in the granola – a fruit, nut, or flake.

“Hurricane” Dave achieved the goal we all pursue. I’ve been here thirty years, and still have a-ways to go. The goal is to be able to get everywhere you need to go on a bicycle, and nobody knows your real name
bicycle hillbilly[Laid-back No Longer] I took my bicycle to KW yesterday to cruise around and enjoy shrimp and oysters at the Half Shell. I rode around after that, stopped at the Parrot and cruised Duval. I passed this young officer in his car a couple of times and I noticed he kept looking in his review mirror checking me out. I didn’t think much about it. After going all the way up Duval and coming back I cut over to Whitehead to get out of the sun. The same officer passed by me and then stopped me. As he approached me he is calling in my description to dispatch. I thought that was a little overboard, but again I didn’t really care.

He said he stopped me because I had come out of a one-way street and was on the wrong side of the road. I did explain I was just trying to get out of the sun and he said he understood as he gestured towards his vest, long pants, and gear, but for my safety I needed to get on the right side of the road or on the sidewalk. I told him I thought riding on the sidewalk was illegal which he said it was, but was mostly enforced on Duval. As a fairly avid bicycle rider and a motorcycle rider for over 43 years I am well aware for my own safety. I guess some folks don’t have that skill.

I was very courteous to him as I was in the wrong and he was mostly courteous to me except for slightly giving a criminal element feeling for breaking bicycle laws. While I understand he was just doing his job, after 16 years in this area I think it is time to find another “laid back” place to live.

[“Conspiracy Man”] Where do you buy your tin foil hats? If you came on up to Boston’s Dorchester neighborhood where Martin Richards, the child killed at the Marathon, lived and start talking this bullcrap, you would find yourself horizontal in no time. Such an insult to people who lost friends and relatives.
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[Dark Ages] Just think, we could have been exploring the universe by now.

[Asphalt Too Hot] As a fairly frequent user of White Street Pier, I can say the surface of the pier did not need redoing. It never occurred to the city that resurfacing with black asphalt would make the pier a day time furnace during the hot months? Who, in the city government, made the decision to repave with asphalt? Who above that person approved using asphalt? The citizens are entitled to know.

Why change the pier’s name? City maps tourists rely on show where White Street is. Logically, White Street Pier was at the end of White Street. Now, there is no White Street Pier. Why the modern flurry in city hall to name days, weeks, months, places after this or that movement, organization or person? What a legacy for Ed Knight: The White Street Furnace. Whose idea was it to rename the pier after him? The citizens are entitled to know.

How come the city’s propaganda department (and The Citizen editorial) left out the elephant in the living room? Until maybe ten years ago, White Street Pier was open all night. Fishermen fished there at night, until morning. Gatherings were held out there into the wee hours. Then the 11 p.m. closing curfew was imposed. Right. Because a few homeless people slept out there at night.

Do you think maybe the black asphalt is karma?

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[“Credit cards vs debit cards”] Most of us who only use debit cards use them because we do not wish to live in constant debt and only spend within our means. Many of us have learned to do so because at one time or another we also were in credit card debt and will not allow that to occur ever again. We also believe in shopping where we make our money.
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Does anyone know the name and number of the guy that pays you for, and picks up, a junk car.

[“Scientists growing pigs with human organs”] This is old news. We see them come down to the Keys every season from New Jersey. Some of the locals have even mated with them. No telling what the offspring look like.
passport-conch

 

Fermentation has been happening forever and it happens world-wide; lively spores devour sweetness until they produce so much waste, namely,alcohol and CO2, that they kill themselves.

Tourism has been happening forever and it happens world-wide; lively spores (namely, T.D.C., developers, Chambers of Com, etc.) devour the sweetness (namely, Dolphin Marina, the ticky-tacky Little Torch houses, B.P. swimming hole, park, etc.). So I would presume that we will find out what “death” means. Call it paradise and put up more parking lots, then, Kiss it good-bye. Renew your passport.

[“Debit Card benefits”] In addition to helping those that use it to budget, you don’t have to carry cash. Most merchants are PIN based in addition to liability protection if lost or stolen.
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They are talking about Texas separating from America. Who are the majority land barons in Texas and who will move there?

[US Census] Is anyone else upset over the census forms that we’ve gotten in the mail? A count is one thing, but handing over my name, my mother’s maiden name, my income, my DOB, my place of birth, etc. etc. for page after page to a group who gets hacked by foreign countries on a regular basis seems like a tremendously stupid thing to do. Inviting every hacker on earth to use the information my banks keep to protect my accounts.
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25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. That’s scary. It means 75% are running around untreated. This is a frightening statistic.
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[Gay Sports] There are gay bicycle rallies, gay pro swimmers, gay gymnasts, and gay race drivers, but no gay baseball or football teams, why?
[“Boat ramp closed for summer”] Launch boats? I found this site. Link
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Computer Power User July issue. Link

[New Canal] Panama celebrates opening its expanded canal to bigger ships. Weekend-long festivities as Panama welcomes a new dawn for Panama and global shipping. All this, for bigger container/cargo ships from China. Video
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Orlando International Airport to open special ‘Islamic Prayer Room’ for Muslim travelers. Not surprisingly, they named it a “Reflection Room,” so Americans won’t suspect what it really is. Because Arab-Muslim owned Emirates Airlines will start flying in and out of Orlando International Airport within a few weeks, airport officials have been pressured, bribed, or forced into catering to Muslim religious needs.

Volkswagen has to pay 14.7 billion dollars for lying about its emissions. Link
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A funny look at what the EU exchange rate will look like for American tourists now that Great Britain has left the EU. Video
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Is it possible to get TV reception with a rooftop antenna in the Keys? Is the Miami area too far away for local channels or are there booster stations?

[“Debit cards”] They are the ultimate tool to keep the inept from buying stuff they cannot afford to own. If you cannot afford it, you should not be allowed to buy it. The credit card is what killed the American economy!
summerland-sandal[“Strip mall”] This is a better photo and includes Summerland Sandal. Thanks for the kind words on my shop Summerland Sandal & Surf Co.. I’ve heard several comments from the BPK posts so I’d like to give some input. I moved my business, Caribbean Cobbler from Key West to Summerland Key Jan.1996. I retired (as a shoe and leather repairer) 30 years to the day on May 16 2003 and changed the name to Summerland Sandal Inc. and went retail only. In 2008 I rented unit 4 and expanded with the surf shop, all of which exists today because of the many loyal customers and trusted brands. As for the old picture of the strip mall, it had to be after a hurricane before 2008, because the sign insert was replaced after a hurricane blew it out, the vehicles in the picture are of employees in the mall at the time, Mr. Rosenblatt was still in business and retired in 2008, at which time I rented unit 4. I understand not every Key is spotless or beautiful, we can not control how other people tend to their property, but I love my little village. I try my very best to keep the mall lot clean (although I do not own it). I feel it is one of the nicest strip malls in the Keys. With so many people using the Shell station and liquor store, trash and cigarette butts are a constant. I’ve had to learn to take the bad comments and appreciate the good.
[“Which of these 2 firearms that I own is considered to be a semi auto assault weapon”] Neither of them. In the courses I teach, they are identified as personal defense weapons (PDWs). Nice choice!
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[“Boat ramp closed for summer”] They put a fence and a gate around the ST4A boat ramp. Close for repairs till September.  That will make mini season interesting.  The 4 p’s apply: Piss poor prior planning.
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[Today’s Message of Hate] The best way to fix America is to get rid of the trouble makers and trash; especially the illegals and those who support them.
Legendary actor flag american flat bottomJohn Wayne in a clip from 1970 on the TV variety show he hosted celebrating America’s history. Many famous actors and actresses are featured in this video singing God Bless America including Ann Margaret, Lucille Ball, Jack Benny, George Burns, Johnny Cash, Roy Clark, Bing Crosby, Phyllis Diller, Lorne Greene, Bob Hope, Forrest Lewis, Dean Martin, William Shatner, Tom Smothers, and many more. What a classic video. Did you know John Wayne started off as a singing cowboy! Video
[“Start your own website”] I’m too scared to, because I’d get me bloody balls cut off like Ed did by the bubbas for rocking the boat on their pet projects and money laundering scams. You forget where you live!
mosque2I applied for building permit for a new house.  It was going to be 100 feet tall and 300 feet wide with a tall tower.  Parking for 200 cars.  Also a very loud outside amplified sound system that a guy would scream through 5 times every day.  The City Council said, “Forget it.  Not going to happen.  No way.  So I sent the application in again and called it a “Mosque.”  Construction starts Friday.  And the best part is it’s going to be tax exempt!!  I love this country.  It’s the government that scares me.
According to a poster “weed makes you stupid“. I can only assume he or she is concerned about the intelligence of Americans. A very noble concern. My only hope is that the poster is as concerned about the lack of smoking weed might lead to poor spelling. In case the poster also has trouble with math, the misspelled word is five words further. I’ll save you the hassle of getting out the calculator, that would be the ninth word.[?]
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[Guns] This is a very well documented and footnoted pamphlet to read about what our forefathers really meant about gun ownership. I got it thru the Shotgun news at 2 News Plaza, 3rd Floor, Peoria, IL 61614

There are several ways to get rich without working in America. The entertainment industry, pro sports, grants, welfare, and crime. Why sweat, working for peanuts?
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