The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

zikaman

 

A new superhero has emerged. Zikaman! He stings you with his mosquito gun and your head shrinks.

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The next meeting of our Big Pine Computer Club is coming up this Saturday, August 27, 10 am at the senior center.  Hope to see you there. Full Menu > Ongoing Events
uke-black-sabbath[“Hey Coconuts, is it true that all ukulele players have small instruments?”] Oh, no my friend, Ukers come in all sizes. There are four main types of ukuleles: soprano, concert (or alto), tenor, and baritone. The Soprano Ukulele 21″ to the Baritone Ukulele 30″. So you see my friend even the smallest soprano is 21″ is nothing to joke about. Coconuts the Ukulele Center of the known Universe & home to the World famous Coconut Ukulele Orchestra. PS thanks for the plug.  ~The “NUT”
[Bad Guy Award] After they said they wouldn’t share your phone numbers when they acquired WhatsApp (the most popular texting app in the world), Facebook says they are going to share your phone numbers anyway!
Fish-n-ChipsFriday Special: Fish n Chips – Homemade beer batter and fried to a golden crisp.

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[Lignum Vitae Key] In ancient Rome victims of syphilis were treated with lignum vitae (wood of life), a medicine made from the wood of the Brazilian tree.
Johnsons-7.7.16
It’s hard to win an argument with a smart person, but it’s damn near impossible to win an argument with a stupid person
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[Obey Your Husband] As the first one to transgress a covenant, Eve caused not only the expulsion from Paradise but also, as further punishment, her subordination to her husband. “Your desire shall be for your husband,” she was told by the Lord, “and he shall rule over you” (Genesis 3:13)
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[Chatty Cathy’s] Did you know that woman use about 30,000 words a day while men use only 15,000?

[Drone Delivery] New Zealand started delivering pizzas using drones! If I saw one flying I’s shoot it down and get a nice hot pizza.
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Does anyone else feel that ATT’S Yahoo has turned into a super market tabloid with junk ads and low rent news? What a bunch of yahoos! (Ed: There is no such thing as ATT’s Yahoo. Yahoo is just a web page that was intentionally set in your browser as your home page. Just change your browser’s home page to a web page you like. Google your browser’s name “change home page”).
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Engrish.

This one in-humane family gig sucks. Look what it did to the Middle East!
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long-truck

 

I don’t really know what to call this, but I’m sure redneck is in its description.

[“Someone needs to dismantle code enforcement”] There’s a couple of guys in Philly who can take care of that!
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There a storm coming this weekend so get all the bar stools up and shut off the beer coolers before Happy Hour is ruined!

This malware sold to governments helped them spy on iPhones. Link
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[“Flooding in Louisiana”] There was 2 feet of rainfall in 2 days! That much rain would flood just about any place you would care to live. You should not comment about other people’s misery when a disaster of that magnitude occurs
artist easel[Michelangelo Painted Sistine Chapel Standing Up] The scaffold seems to have provided a commodious and convenient place for all of them to work. As it was clear of the vault for the whole of its span by about seven feet, it allowed them to stand erect as they worked. Applying the intonaco or spreading the paint simply required them to lean backward slightly and extend their arms upward. The legend that he worked on his back was due to a mistake in translating a description of his efforts.
Global warming and rising sea levels and the affected areas.  The Keys should have no troubles. Link
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How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum? Three. One to eat it, and two to watch for cars.
VITAMIN-C-FOODS[Zika And Cancer Cure] Zika very often causes no symptoms and is usually gone in a week, so I can’t help but think that the Zika panic (and maybe even some Zika “seeding”) is fueled by greedy chemical and GMO sociopaths and those they pay off. There are billions to be made in “fighting it”. Cancer is a whole different animal.

Intravenous vitamin C treatment has had miraculous results with cancer, and now has been shown highly effective on Zika virus infections. If you can find it, your health insurance won’t pay for it, but multiple studies have shown that it works without the side effects of other treatments and at low cost. (You cannot get enough C from pills to effectively kill cancer. You would just need to reserve a toilet seat.) Here are some quotes from an HSI ealert:
“A group of physicians from the University of Puerto Rico and the Ponce School of Medicine recently published their findings in the journal JOM about how treatment with IVC completely cured a 54-year-old woman infected with the virus.”
“I’ve told you many stories over the years about the cancer-killing ability of IVC. Stories of patients who were told there was nothing more doctors could do for them, but after treatments with IVC have been given a second chance at life.” Link

Singapore just started autonomous taxis today. That means no more surly drivers or driver who wont shut up.
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[Junk Mail] I set my email and telephone to block all the spam and advertising and now life is really boring and lonely!
texas-longhorn

 

I found where the Texas Longhorn logo idea come from.

[Romans Knew How To Party] The Roman carnival that took place in February of 1510 was even more jubilant and unruly than usual. All of the familiar entertainments were on show. Bulls were released into the streets and slain by men on horseback armed with lances. Convicted criminals were executed in the Piazza del Popolo by a hangman dressed as a harlequin. South of the piazza, races along Via del Corso included a competition between prostitutes. An even more popular attraction was the “racing of the Jews,” a contest in which Jews of all ages were forced to don bizarre costumes and then sprint down the street to insults from the crowd and sharp prods from spears of the soldiers galloping behind. Cruelty and bad taste knew no bounds. There were even races between hunchbacks and cripples.
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Roman prostitutes (there were 7,000 in Rome in 1510) dyed their hair blond by sitting in the sun after drenching their tresses with lemon juice.
captured Seminoles Taylor[Moving Indians] Through the Treaty of Moultrie Creek (1823), the Treaty of Payne’s Landing (1832), and numerous “talks” and meetings, US Indian Agents sought to convince the Florida Indians to sell their cattle and pigs to the US government, return runaway slaves to their “rightful owners,” leave their ancient homelands in Florida, and move west of the Mississippi River to Arkansas Territory. In 1830, soon after Andrew Jackson the Indian fighter became Andrew Jackson, the president of the United States, he pushed through Congress an Indian Removal Act. With this Act, the determination of the government to move Indians out of the Southeast and open the land for white settlement became the official policy of the US, and the willingness of the government to spend monies in support of military enforcement of this policy increased.
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What was the average life span of LGBT humans back in the prehistoric era? Must have been a long time because they did nothing but paint on cave walls and hide in the shadows. Sort of like Key West.
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No matter where you go, there you are.

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