The-Coconut-Telegraph-w-CoconutsSince 2002. Published Tuesdays and Fridays
Letters to the Editor with pictures

code-enforcementI tried to get a blogger friend to go to Marathon this Thursday and sit in on the meeting where people routinely lose their homes and/or their money to an evil corrupt heavy-handed greedy Code Compliance Department.

It would have made for interesting writing.  I cannot be there.  I would love to be able to hear my weed violation (which has long ago been corrected) that amounted to almost $140,000 in fines. They just kept adding on fines and not letting us turn on the electric or water so we could continue to maintain, rent, or sell it.

I donated the home to Habitat for Humanity and now Code is trying to steal the house from them to sell and pay for the fine. They did not see that donation coming. Even though I had to give away my house to do it, I f**ked Code. Ha!  When I wrote Code to transfer the name to Habitat for Humanity they thought I was lying with my QCD[?].

The psycho video on YouTube of my crazy neighbor helped me secure a new mortgage despite an extremely successful strategic default.  They needed explanation as to why I walked away and the two psychotic and very nutty neighbor videos helped my defense.

Someone needs to dismantle code enforcement. I see it as an illegal source of revenue for the County.

Johnsons-7.7.16
Aetna pulling out of Obamacare has nothing to do with government blocking their merger with Humana and preventing them from making more obscene profits for doing nothing but pushing paper (snicker, snicker).

This is another example why we need true national healthcare. Expand Medicaid, let taxpayers pay for it through payroll deductions and take the profit out of healthcare. Let’s screw the insurance industry for a change. Screw them for profiting on our misery. Screw them for their greed and cold-heartedness.

If the insurance industry still wants to play, let them write policies for those of you who want Gucci-type care instead of the basic care paid for. That’s fine, but you’ll have to pay a lot extra for that kind of care, as you should.

roses swaying

 

My friend Rose was pick-pocketed in Big Pine Key and is facing down the evil entity this Thursday in court. Her friends are asking for a large prayer going up for Rose to persevere and for the good to win over the bad.  A brush with kindness for prayers for Rose on Thursday.

[“Mosquito Control’s unnecessary new buildings to raise taxes 45%”] Schools, Law enforcement and mosquitoes are your biggest expenses. Those 2 new buildings won’t aid them in killing one mosquito so why raise out taxes? If a few KW employees don’t want to drive to Marathon, fire them. There are a lot of qualified people looking for good jobs in the Keys.
ice-seat

 

This is why you never take the top bag.

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[FTR’s Seafood Review] I had the pleasure of again shopping at Fanci Seafood on Friday.  Once again, the lady was very friendly, the fish was first rate, and the prices were more than competitive.  If you haven’t tried them, give them a shot.  With the price of boat gas being what it is today, letting someone else catch them up makes a lot of sense.
pope-julius 2[Catholic Profiteering] Alexander VI’s (Lucrezia Borgia’s father and possible lover) wild extravagance had drained the Church’s finances. Pope Julius II had therefore set about collecting taxes with ruthless efficiency, halting devaluation of the currency by minting a new coin, and punishing counterfeiters. He also bolstered revenues by creating and then selling ecclesiastical offices, a practice known as simony (and a sin whose practitioners Dante had placed in the eighth circle of Hell, where they were buried upside down and had their feet roasted by flames). In 1507 Julius promulgated a bull offering indulgences, which meant people could pay to reduce the time their friends or relatives spent in Purgatory (usually calculated at 9,000 years). All of the funds accruing from this controversial measure were earmarked for the building of St. Peter’s.
[Penis Map Of The World Exposes Weenie Size In Each Country] We already knew about Africa, but some of the others are interesting. Video (no, not that kind)
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[Zombie Apocalypse] Not to sound paranoid, but why are there so many web sites showing all kinds of institutions, libraries, science labs, central banks, power company centers, and other VIP industries being put in underground bunkers? Are we missing something here
ukulele-sizes

 

Hey Coconuts, is it true that all ukulele players have small instruments?

[Attorney William Hackley’s 1855 Key West Diary] Took gun and accruements to the office to be ready for a trip to the Marquesses with William Randolph, which was broken off. Washed the gun and scrubbed her out with white mountain mineral and found she was very rusty inside.

Last evening Matilda was in great agony from a boil which is rising on the left breast near the nipple. Saw Dr. L. Engle who agreed with me that ice water was the best application, accordingly I put clothes wet with ice water to the breast and changed them as they got warm and continued to do so until after midnight when the pain was lessened and the remainder of the night allowed the compress to remain and have the effect of a poultice, got to sleep about one and was up about 3 or 4 times which makes me sleepy this morning.

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[Total Solar Eclipse] Time to start making your plans for the astronomical event of 2017. Luckily for me I live only 10 miles from the center line in upstate S C.

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[“Shoot out the flood lights”] The Dark Sky initiative was formed to minimize light pollution so that you can see the stars.  I am not sure they would suggest you shoot out your neighbor’s floods, but they have some great programs that work. With all the “save the Earth” people in Key West, I am surprised that none of them have taken up the cause to reduce light pollution. Our illustrious FKAA is doing their share of destroying the night sky. Take a look at the Cudjoe facility at night. It is lit up like a baseball stadium. They do make lights that direct the light downward instead of everywhere. Many cities are making them the code for streetlights. Link
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I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.

[Devices] It has come to the point that most of our semi-intellectual society is chained to cell phones and computer screens through email and a search engine. Pity the logical face to face conversationalist. To allow a digital screen to be a person is to allow a mirror into one’s sole without responsibility, personality or virtue! Think of the mind bending such instruments can do. Are we really viewing what we think is on that screen or something truly subliminal to spin us into opening our wallets and do their bidding? This is Orwellian
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Pot plants at state fair in a 1st for the U.S. Now that’s something I’d be really good at judging! Link

[Refugees] If you thought we have problems, take a look at this. Video
Isaksen-2.2016
[Pizza Review] I got a pizza from that new place in Key Colony Beach. $18 for a 12-inch pizza. it was good but not $18-good.
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The government’s new symbol is that of a condom because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed.

[Survival at Sea] Fish bacon for breakfast! Steve Callahan was adrift on an inflatable raft in the middle of the Atlantic ocean for 76 days. He began to make three courses out of just one fish, and how it felt when his only companions and friends were also his main source of food. Audio
constrictor-knot

 

[Constrictor Knot] This may be the easiest to remember diagram of a constrictor knot. This knot cinches up really tight and stays that way. It may be best known as the knot used to make or shorten spear gun bands. Tie it twice near the end of the band with the wishbone nub inside the tubing, trim the ends, and go shoot!

[Magic Coffee Table] Any guy can relate to this mystery. Video
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[“Frank’s Grill Marathon”] I’ve eaten at Frank’s Grill maybe 5 or 6 times and it was always excellent. One night we had a party of six people and everyone ordered something different. Everyone was very happy with their meal and that is very rare.
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The latest NSA leak shows why it’s so hard to trust even tech designed to keep computers safe. Link
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[Free Kittens] I found them in a shed. I think they are Siamese or some fancy foreign breed. They don’t meow or purr and they’re kind of bitey. The mother must’ve abandoned them.

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 90 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he’s 97 years old and we don’t know where he is. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. I haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there. Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. We all get heavier as we get older because there’s a lot of heavy information in our heads.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Springers-2.2016
It seems there is one common theme across all of these “questionable” development decisions: “Cates, Weekly & Lopez”. Their names always associated with amazing “bending of the rules” in order to approve what the voters would never agree to…. Peary Court was a classic example, Sunset Marina is their latest attempt at “hocus pocus”, just wait and see what happens if they get their hands on the outer mole… do you really think they care about what you want? Heck NO! It’s all about under the table deals with developers and friends. Guess what fellow citizens: It’s an election year! You can vote your conscience and replace Cates. Depending on where you live you can do the same with Lopez. Unfortunately, Weekly will have to wait for someone to run against him. We would all be better off with new blood sitting in those positions. It’s time to purge.
gondola couple kissLouisiana is getting flooded again and I say so what? That area is like the Keys, almost under water. So if you live in a ditch don’t bitch–move out. Enough of our tax money going to htose who buy in flood prone areas. By them shovels and teach them to move a mountain to back-fill. When the Keys go under what are we going to do, cry and sue the government for money to jack up our homes and rename the Keys Venice?
wetstock-12

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages Wetstock 12 Music Festival is less than two weeks away. The show will be on Sunday September 4th of Labor Day Weekend. The bands, The Rockin’ Bob’s, The Funkin’ Conchs, Raisin Cane, and The Bubba System are all set. Special appearance by the Coconut Ukulele Orchestra will be playing between the bands. This is going to be a great day of peace & music.

See you there, your friend  ~Flip Flop Bob

Coconut’s Ukulele Orchestra Video
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[“White vulture”] That’s a crackhead vulture. That’s why he’s white. There are quite a few on Stock Island and a few have been spotted in the Avenues
milk-truck

 

Remember these? And milk used to come in glass bottles.

[More Rules] Do all the riff-raff boats in the bays really do pump-outs or do they just forget about it? Seems those boats need to be organized into a small controlled community so we can keep the Keys clean and healthy. Sometimes I can smell them if the wind blows towards my house!
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Not meaning to brag, but when I get into the shower naked, the shower gets turned on!

Has anyone seen anybody doing anything on the old 7 Mile Bridge? Funny I see a pigeon key golf cart going back-and-forth and people walking on it at night but no work being done. I think it will be a very long time before that bridge re-opens to the public.
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[Profit] I wish I had a shitty, old, falling down, useless building I could sell to the County for a huge profit.
rainbow flagThe Rainbow (or Gay Pride) Flag was created by artist and vexillographer Gilbert Baker, a friend of the late Harvey Milk, in 1978. The flag debuted at the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Freedom Day Parade. It has since been used around the world as a symbol of LGBT unity in many variations, including adaptations such as bumper stickers and decals. The Rainbow Flag is recognized by the International Congress of Flag Makers. The Rainbow (Pride) Flag lives in the public domain.

The original flag had eight stripes from top to bottom: pink (sexuality), red (life), orange (healing), yellow (sunlight), green (nature), turquoise (magic), indigo/blue (serenity), and violet (spirit). Within a year, the flag had shed two of its stripes—pink and violet. According to Gilbert, they “ran out of pink dye.” The violet stripe was later taken out to create an even number of stripes on the flag. Since then, many variations of the flag have been created. For instance, a black stripe is added to some symbolizing those lost to AIDS. There are also variations to represent bisexual people, bears and others

woody

 

[Get a Woody] 1939 Ford Super Deluxe for sale on eBay for $79,500.

Thank God the Olympics are over with. This year’s sports abortion is akin to our political election madness. Totally immature, uncontrolled and uncouth to the hilt! Add to that the international wars, the mosquito problems, and the publics fears of a would financial crash and you have 2016 go down in the history books as the year of insecurity and madness!
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