Archives of
The Coconut Telegraph
An Historical Diary of what Keyheads were talking about
Since 2002

Wednesday September 15, 2010

The Coconut Telegraph will be closed for vacation for two weeks starting tomorrow, Thursday, September 16 and will re-open Friday, October 1.

No more emails will be accepted until September 30.

We will begin accepting emails on September 30^th for publication on our first day back from vacation, Friday, October 1.

We hope you will still visit BigPineKey.com and look at some of our other offerings. Please support our sponsors and tell them you saw their ad on the Coconut Telegraph. It really helps.

When I look over at the old 7 Mile Bridge, I remember being about 3/4 mile behind the truck when that back hoe hit the propane tank under the bridge tender's shack. It was a terrifyingly spectacular sight.

[Oh, oh] I have grown up on the Keys my entire life. Before my birth my father’s mother and father moved to Little Torch Key. We played on the bay in between Big Pine and Little Torch, dove Looe Key, and fished everywhere from the back country to the wide open ocean. With a captain’s hat and a pipe pouring out a sweet aroma of burning tobacco, my grandfather caught more fish and the biggest fish than anyone I know. He talked to the fish and never failed to get one hooked at the end of his rod.

After the house on Little Torch was sold and my grandparents had passed away, we knew we would not be complete without a home on the Keys. During the eighties my parents bought a lot on Big Pine Key down Flying Cloud Avenue. After the scare of a building moratorium, my parents scraped together enough money and loans to build a two bedroom, two bath cedar shell of a house. As a family of do-it-your-selfers we all worked together to finish the inside and enjoyed many more years on the water of the fabulous Florida Keys.

Then the heartbreaking time came when my parent’s medical challenges forced them to sell their home on Flying Cloud and move up to Northwest Georgia where we had settled. They needed to be close to family and good medical care. Within five years they both passed away.

Because my parents requested us to spread their ashes on that precious bay in between Little Torch and Big Pine so they could be laid to rest in the same place where my older brother’s ashes lay, we rented a home for two weeks on Big Pine beginning September 11th. The day we arrived we put our boat in the water and parked the trailer where the landlord told us to. Within a day we found a handwritten sign on our trailer that read, “I block public roads because I’m an asshole.”

Needless to say this put a damper on our visit to Big Pine. It is a sad day when people have nothing better to do than waste their time making signs and attempt to ruin people’s vacations. Whoever wrote that sign needs to get a life. He or she needs to stop spreading his hate on other people. Life is too short to live like Oscar the Grouch. 

[Refuge breaks ground for tractor pull events] The Key Deer Refuge has attempted a third prescribed burn at the North end of Big Pine, when it failed they took to mudding instead. Our Hammocks are now being targeted for prescribed burning because we are running out of pine rockland. The refuge has to burn something or they will lose the allotted money funded by tax payers. As you can see in the photo they've done a fine job "enhancing" our refuge by carelessly ripping out more native habitat as if it were garbage and leaving behind a huge mud pit surrounded by dead shattered trees. This will be the future site for the Key Deer Refuge Tractor Pulls and will be open to the public for recreational 4-wheel drive and ATV mudding since it is no longer useful habitat. What would we do without such environmentally respectful management?

[County Raises Disguised]  Directly from the county's own data base, the county car allowance summary. They get the money each day, even while sitting home on vacation or sick days. No judgment as to the right or wrong of the expenditures.  For that, you have to make your own decision.

 One thing county could and should do is car pool to all meetings when going up and down the Keys.  Put the county bus at the government centers in Key West,  Marathon, Key Largo, etc, and travel together. “Get on the bus, Gus” (I mean - Roman, Suzanne, Debbie, Connie, Teresa, Lisa D,  Lisa T, Heather, Kim, and all along the way.)

Come on Roman,  you're paying a recycle person,  think of all the gas and mileage expenses to be saved.  And no more overnight expenses.  If they don't want to travel the 90 miles to get home, fine, but you stay overnight at your own expense.

For all the mid-level employees using take home cars.  No more county cars in Winn Dixie or Kmart parking lots because you took your family shopping. You have the car to be ready to respond,  which you can't do while the playing chauffeur.

There's lots of ways to not spend taxpayer money.  All it takes is for this county’s leadership to give a s**t, and not keep relying on the taxpayers to support county staff and BOCC lifestyles.

[Hallucinating] This is an actual course at Georgetown University. I think that Sloan should check it out as he already has an advanced degree in it. Maybe there is a teaching position for him?

We all make mistakes. We all sometimes remember things that didn't really happen and sometimes forget things that really did. We all get confused by optical illusions, and phantom pains and itches. We all sometimes believe false things other people tell us. We all sometimes confuse our dreams for reality. We all sometimes believe things because we really want them to be, even though we have good reasons for thinking they aren't. And sometimes we're just plain hallucinating. 

Here are just a few of the things we'll be looking at: 
• The films The Matrix and Existenz 
* Kafka's ``The Metamorphosis"; Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas; Burroughs' Naked Lunch; Ellison's The Invisible Man; etc. 
* Hume's A Treatise of Human Nature (parts) 
* Recent research in cognitive science and psychology (of individuals and groups) 
* Some selections from Stanislaw Lem (the good stuff) 
* The Star Trek pilot episode, ``The Cage" 
* Some more philosophy stuff 
* Parts of Don Quixote 
* Religion and other mass delusions.

[Vacations] A good vacation is over when you begin to yearn for your work.  A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking. Vacation used to be a luxury, but in today's world it's a necessity. If we would only give, just once, the same amount of reflection to what we want to get out of life that we give to the question of what to do with a two weeks' vacation, we would be startled at our false standards and the aimless procession of our busy days. No vacation goes unpunished

Have a great vacation Deer Ed.

[Positive Reviews] I second the positive review of Hogfish Bar & Grill on Stock Island. It has excellent food and the atmosphere is about as authentic Keys as you could hope for. Another great local spot is Burdines in Marathon. The cuisine is pretty standard fare, but it has an amazing view of the harbor and lots of Keys charm. It would be easy to pass an entire afternoon there just watching the boats and birds go by. Snappers in Tavernier is good too, extensive menu and right on the water.

Damn, now I’ve gone and made myself hungry!

[Outboard Repair] You are looking for Garry Cannon, not Mike. 

[Health Department Budget] Having watched the BOCC meeting on television on Monday I have to wonder if we are being conned or are some people misunderstanding some issues. One Commissioner, while discussing the proposed funding of the State Health Department to the tune of an additional $300,000 (after the board agreed to give "not less than 50%, or $150K), wondered what catastrophic event would befall us all if we cut their budget.  Wait, who is cutting their budget?  No one is.

The discussion involved lowering the amount of the increase we will contribute as requested by the Health Department. They get $700,000 now.  They want $300,000 more.  The board agreed at past meetings to give them "not less than 50%" of the requested $300K increase over last year.  They have an $8,000,000 total budget and they want the Commission to believe that they can't find $150,000 in their own funds? Really?  But Monroe County is expected to find it in our stressed budget?

Back between 2000 and 2004 we paid around $300,000 per year.  Between 2006 and now that blossomed to $710,000.  That’s a pretty healthy increase over a pretty short space of time.

Here are some other interesting facts.  No other county pays even close the per-person-rate towards the State run Health Department.  Not Palm Beach County, not Martin County, not Lee County, no other county, and many pay as little as $.50 per person, and Hardee County pays $0 from county coffers for their state run Health Department.  In contrast, if this request for $300,000 goes through, Monroe County is set to pay a whopping $12 per person this year!

The Commissioner who wondered what catastrophic event awaited us was concerned about what we will lose if we don't give that last $150K to the Health Department.  I suggest we will lose nothing.  How can this Monroe County Health Department not be able to supply all the health services it already does, and that other Florida counties already do for a mere 4X to 24X the money of those other counties?  To suggest that Dengue Fever is to blame for this huge expenditure holds no merit.  How many new cases of Dengue Fever have been reported in the Keys?  Online sources state the number of people who have contracted DF so far this year vary from 18 to 40.  The argument that Snowbirds and tourists increase the burden on the Health Department cannot be accurate either as most if not all visitors to the Keys carry health insurance and go to private doctors when necessary.  Red Herring for dinner anyone?

The lady from the Health Department stated in her request for this increase that in her opinion Monroe County is getting a lot of bang for the buck.  Not by my math.  I have learned that whenever someone tells me I am getting a good bang for the buck and that there is a magic mattress with money under it paying for that bang, we are probably about to get screwed.

Ed is going on vacation.

No FTR for 2 weeks.

No AA Basher

And most of all – No Sloan!

[Restaurant Raves] We love Geiger Key Marina and Grill. We appreciate that we can rely on the same staff, locals and food quality time and time again. That's hard here in the Keys. Plus CW Colt playing every Friday evening really gets us in the weekend state of mind.

Boondocks is consistent. Nice owners and very clean, but fun atmosphere. Keep an eye out for the specials, because nice doesn't come cheap and your check will reflect that.

We are sorry to see Rob's close. We have had only good experiences there for about the past year.

Although a chain, Hard Rock Key West is also consistently good. Best Cobb Salad on the planet! You can always expect excellent service and atmosphere. Good people watching spot too.

[Addendum to Murphy's Law of the Sea] Not only will the two passing boats meet at a channel's narrowest point, but also where there is a rock warning marker and a 270 degree turn in the narrow channel, with one boat likely being a shrimper.

Are you happy being coke whores? 

Curse those litter bugs!
Litterbugs, Litterbugs, heed this curse:
Scourge of the Earth, there’s nobody worse.
May a spell befall you, you’re all worse than felons;
May your septic tank back up like Mount St. Helens.
May your spouse divorce you, take house, car and dogs,
Your cell phone number on telemarketers’ logs.
Your garden will wither, the fish never bite,
No TV reception on Super Bowl night.
Your identity stolen, your tires leak air.
An IRS audit, year after year.
Publisher’s Clearinghouse piles up on the floor,
When the prize patrol knocks, its “Sorry, wrong door.”
We’ve had it with litterbugs, throwing out trash,
Keep it all in your car, in a big plastic stash.
Or suffer this curse on your own evil deeds
The garbage is yours, or this spell you shall heed.

Cannon Mobile Marine is still going strong. Call Gary Cannon at 395-1960 or email boatmangc@bellsouth.net

Get to know Larry Shaffer our next Marathon City councilman Wednesday, September 15 from 5:30-7:30 pm at Hurricane. Come enjoy free appetizers, cash bar and informative talk with Larry

Please RSVP: Shaffer2010@MarathonJournal.US  or telephone 743-9648. Hosted by Green Side Up Courtesy of Hurricane.

~Thanks Larry Shaffer 2010 Marathon City Council Campaign-- Political Advertisement Approved by Larry Shaffer for Marathon City Council

[Fees] Deer Ed, Please don't report to us any new fees that the Airlines are imposing.  It will give the County  ideas. Be safe and wear your Mr. Christopher medal.

[Moose Benefit] Since this is the last Coconut Telegraph for a while I want to remind everyone that the Big Pine Moose Lodge is having a benefit for Moose of the Moose and Blues Band at the lodge on October 9 from 1:00 - 6:00pm. He truly needs your help.  There are jugs all around town for donations. Please give whatever you can. He has truly given to us.

[Sloan] Bubba Neugent, as County Commissioner George Neugent is known back where he came from in Louisiana, has convinced Bash, as I’m known back where I came from in Alabama, that the County budget needs heap big more scalping.  
 
Bubba told me the other day that when the microscope and belt-tightening are put on the county budget, the microscope and belt-tightening need to be put everywhere else in the county.
 
I said, while the County Attorney probably was legally within her rights, based on what I had read in the newspaper, in increasing her and other county attorneys’ salaries recently, in the context of the hard times economy we now are experiencing in the Keys, it just wasn’t a good time for the County Attorney to raise her and her legal staff’s compensation.
 
I compared the county lawyers’ raises to Ed Fussell and at the Mosquito Control Board getting a raise this year, when he is already the highest paid employee in the county, making a good bit more than the Governor of Florida, as I understand it. Bubba agreed. Then, he broadened my horizons a wee bit.
 
He said the budget tightening needs to happen everywhere. Take Keys Energy and the Aqueduct Authority. They give raises even now, and they do it by raising their rates to Keys citizens, most of whom already are having a hard time making ends meet. There really is no difference in that, than the county raising ad valorem taxes, or sales taxes, or whatever taxes, to give raises to county employees.
 
Again and again, Bubba said what’s good for the county government is good for Keys Energy, the Aqueduct Authority, Mosquito Control, the School System, the Tourist Development Council, the Housing Authority, the Sheriff Office, and so forth. Bubba said we are all in this together, and it just doesn’t look right when some of us act as if we are supposed to get better treatment than the rest of us get. Amen from me.
 
Perhaps the biggest irony is the people who take the most heat are the lowest paid executives in the county government. County commissioners make $43,000 a year gross. Their aides make $10,000-plus a year more than their bosses. Yet on the commissioners heads does all of this budget heat fall. As it should. They volunteered for the job. They ran for it. They campaigned for it. The buck stops with them.
 
I burst out laughing when I heard Bubba jump County Manager Roman Gastesi at the county commission budget hearing in Key Largo, about county staff getting a higher car mileage allowance that Bubba (and all county commissioners) get for travel on county business. I was astounded Roman did not say pronto that county staff mileage reimbursement henceforth will be the same as the lower county commission mileage reimbursement.

I was astounded to hear the County Health Department’s lawyer tell the county commissioners that the Health Department’s request for increased funding from the taxpayers was fully justified, when, as Bubba and other commissioners lamented falling ad valorem tax values, thus falling county revenues.

I was astounded to learn of the increases Sheriff Bob Peryam wants to make in his budget, which he is asking the County Commission to fund. The Sheriff thinks the county is like the U.S. Government and can counterfeit new wampum whenever it wants more? Except for the U.S. Government, counterfeiting is super illegal. Furthermore, by state law, the County has to have a balanced budget, which is not achieved by dipping into reserves, as Roman proposed at the budget meeting.

Especially you do not dip into reserves when the ad valorem tax base is falling like a boulder in thin air with no bottom in sight. Nor do you raise taxes on people who already are barely keeping their heads above water. What you do is decrease the county budget commensurate with the falling county revenues, to keep the county government and its treasury in touch with hard reality.
Link to GoodMorningFloridaKeys.com

[Golden Kiss] I have an idea.  When Deer Ed and his love get back from their vacation, let's have posted some positive things on the board shall we?  I mean, let's just for once, not bash anyone, talk trash or even complain about anything for at least one day.  I double dog dare you! 

[County Budget] Pick a department, subtract the "FY 2010 Amended" from the "FY 2011 Proposed”.  The difference amount is how much more (or less) money a department is going to get.  

Just to make that increase relevant, look at the bottom of the department's budget page for the 2010 FTE(?). (Note, do not use the 2011 FTE)   Divide the difference amount by the 2010 FTE.  That answer represents the increase or decrease per FTE.

This process puts a more human face on the budget changes. The value of knowing that is to get a more personal perspective  and compare FTEs by department. For example, the county attorney office increase is $20,000 per FTE,  while the Airport Services increase is $292 per FTE.

Sadly, it's already a done deal. The BOCC votes yes Friday 9/17  without even addressing that some departments increased their budgets in the 9/8 version,  after the original version was sent back to staff for additional cuts. So instead of more cuts, more money got added. Neither did the BOCC publicly address the fact that both versions had data entry and calculation errors.

[Paying over a $100. to watch TV commercials] If you're paying over $100 for cable TV then you need to call Florida Keys Satellite DirecTV. Get 3 times more channels for half the price of cable.  

The CoConut Closet upstairs above the Habitat ReStore is having a huge Summer Clearance Sale during September with tons of valuable bargains for men and women.  Shop Thursday thru Saturday's from 9am - 2 pm. 

Halloween costumes will be coming out soon, so visit often to get the best deals on your very own treasures.

[Least Competent Criminals] Veteran criminal Nathan Pugh, 49, walked in to a Wells Fargo bank in Dallas on July 26 and presented his holdup note to a teller (claiming to have a "bom"). The teller told Pugh that she could not release large amounts of money without proper ID and convinced Pugh to turn over both a Texas state ID card and his Wells Fargo debit card, both in his own name. Police arrived just as Pugh was leaving and after an attempt to grab a hostage, he was arrested. He even failed with the hostage -- a woman carrying a child who still managed to take Pugh to the floor.

Has anyone else noticed the new hottie waitress at Pizza Works, maybe bringing some class to the place? I'll be going there more. She's friendly too!

[Ecoweek Failure]  Last year Ecoweek organizers told the County that they had identified sponsors for recycling bins in public places.  Each recycling bin costs over $650 each and Ecoweek organizers told the County that they need 250 of them.  County staff supported the idea and even facilitated the opportunity for Ecoweek to use the County's logo, seal, and website for free.  Apparently, Ecoweek organizers did not do their job or were not able to sell the lame event. They were not able to get the sponsors needed.  Now, Ecoweek organizers want the County (meaning you and I, the taxpayers) to purchase the 250 bins for the low cost of $162,500.  Don't these people know that there's a recession?   

Let's contact our commissioners 
District 1: Kim Wigington (R), Wigington-Kim@monroecounty-fl.gov, 

District 2: George Neugent (R) Neugent-George@monroecounty-fl.gov,

District 3: Heather Carruthers (D) Carruthers-Heather@monroecounty-fl.gov 

District 4 is vacant.

District 5: Sylvia Murphy boccdis5@monroecounty-fl.gov 

Please point out to them that if they must spend $162,500, they could give each employee a one time Monroe County stimulus package, let's say $1000 per employee that did not receive a pay raise in the last 24 months. This could possibly make 162 employees very happy and do a heck of a job for employee morale which is very low right now.  Or the money could be used to do some much needed maintenance on County roads, parks and buildings that badly need it.

[County Budget] The efforts of our County Administrator to help save the taxpayers’ dollars once again gets no serious review by the County Commission. 

He tried once before to bring relief to unincorporated Monroe County residents, but it was in the area of a pending sewer deadline. He brought before the commission a company that gave the them the chance to save 100,000,000 of our dollars, get the project done on time, and provide all the financing. The County Commission never gave that any serious consideration either, thank you very much. 

How long can we afford to keep on electing these people to office?

[Moondogs] Hey Flip Flop Bob, please get a hold of me for the Moose Benefit. ~Norrene buggennb@aol.com

Mr AA Basher, that is exactly what I have been telling you all along. We don't know why we drink like we do (I should say did). We did not have a clue, but the whole point is it had to stop. A.A. did it for me, but not for you.

[Fewer fire departments in the Keys. Economies of scale.]  As a Key Largo taxpayer, I definitely do not want Monroe County Fire Rescue operating in Key Largo,  and neither do my neighbors.  The idea is asinine.  All combining will do is foist the county's financial burden and many unnecessary layers of dysfunctional management onto Key Largo taxpayers.  Of course they want to combine; they want a bigger tax base to help pay the bills.  Not now, not ever, no thanks!

Chance makes a plaything of a man’s life.  ~Seneca, First century A.D.

[Holy Touché] Every weekend for the last four years, parishioners from the New Beginnings Ministries church in Warsaw, Ohio, have gathered in front of The Fox Hole strip club in nearby Newcastle and tried to shame customers by photographing them and posting their license plate numbers on the Internet, and brandishing hellfire-threatening signs. Recently, however, Fox Hole's strippers joined the duel, congregating on Sundays in front of New Beginnings Church, wearing bikinis and see-through shorts, dancing scandalously, squirting each other with jumbo water guns, and wielding their own Bible-quoting signs to greet the day's worshippers.

[Jersey Snowbirds] Fall is fast approaching up north. The Snowbirds are already packing for their annual trip south. Are you ready, Big Piners, to welcome the seasonal folks from New Jersey? And to make matters worse, this year, due to the bad economy, they will be bringing less green stuff with them. Oh well, it is the price you pay for living in paradise in the Keys. 

[Spending] Monroe County is not the only place that has out of control spending at our expense.  Look what this little town of Bell did to their taxpayers. http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/
ALeqM5iMcK7jSUn6TTLeVXuiL02gnLLA5QD9I77U700

NATIONAL POLITICS 

[Tea Party] Yes we can, Yes we can. Don't you think it’s a little strange that the Democrats that are running this November are not using Obama Care to get votes. I have not seen the first TV spot saying, “Vote for me I supported the President's health care plan.” As a matter of fact none of the Democrats are using anything the President has done to up there support... President Obama is the most divisive President since Bush.

[Less Junk More Food]

"We have to do more, we have to go farther, and we need your help to lead this effort," she told the restaurateurs and executives.

In other news from the republican party they tell us Zombies are attacking citizens in Spokane Washington and the Werewolf has been seen at an Obama rally in Walla Walla. Not to be outdone, famous republican leader Newt Gingrich told CBS that in the last week 14 Gremlins were caught sneaking over the border from Canada. Don’t forget to wear your garlic as the vampire scare can’t be far behind.

Thank heavens these republicans are saving us from these horrible creatures.

[President Brainwashing Our Children] “Life is what you make of it.  Nothing, absolutely nothing is beyond your reach so long as you're willing to dream big.  So long as you're willing to work hard.”  Thanks President Obama.  Your message to students is uplifting and motivational.  This is exactly what I want my children to hear. 

[WMD] When did America get into the business of selling Weapons of Mass Destruction? Congress to Be Told of 60-Billion US-Saudi Arms Deal | CommonDreams.org

[Polls] As for Obama having only a 46% approval rating, all I can say is the last republican in office Mr.Bush had an approval rating of 22% when he left. It’s great to know that twice as many people approve of President Obama then did George Bush.

FTR, please don't call me your liberal independent pal. I'm not a pal to anyone that talks as much as you do.

Crazed Muslim mob burns America flag.

Put yourself to the test.  Click below to watch our man-on-the-street video.  See if you can outwit the Rebel Economist before she stumps you. So what is it—real or fake? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gp0JuBp8xA&feature=player_embedded

[From the Right] The roar from Delaware was heard from sea to sea. It's the roar of the Tea Party Gorilla that just kicked mainstream Republican butt in Delaware. It's amazing, but a little known U.S. Senate candidate, Christine O'Donnell, captured the attention of the Tea Party. Then in yesterday’s primary she whipped butt on a very liberal Republican Congressman candidate who had served for 18 terms in the state house of reps. Mainstream Republican poobahs have very seriously bent and bloody noses. They had strongly opposed O’Donnell. Now they say that the Republican Party will not support her. I think that is a very, very stupid thing for Republican management to do. Polls have indicated that she will lose to the Democrat candidate in November. Nonetheless, she won handily in spite of a great deal of negative campaigning that alleged fiscal ineptitude and questions about her ethics.  The U.S. Senate seat is the seat occupied by Joe Biden for many years. This is really high drama.

(Part II) Deer Ed. Bon Voyage! My bride and I hope that the fruit basket, champagne, and London theatre tickets arrived in your stateroom as your loyal fans planned. We were able to get you front row center seats for The Merry Wives Of Windsor, playing at the Globe on the 23^rd. Hope you enjoy it. Have a wondrous vacation. We hope that Igor, Julia, and Karl stay the hell out of your way for your crossing. By the way, there’s a rumor on the Rock that your vacation is a recruiting device by Pinch Sulzberger, publisher of the quickly fading New York Times. The rumor says that Pinch heard of what you’ve done with bigpinekey.com and the Coconut Telegraph, and is trying to recruit you to fix the many net publications that the Old Gray Lady runs. While you’re away, in a change of pace, I will be working on a series of postings to expose the ineptitude, and failures of Team Obama. The plan is to overwhelm the CT readers with an avalanche of cherry picked facts.  It will be called “Sock and Awe”. How about that for a sock-o change of pace! Enjoy yourself.  ~Regards FTR.

NO NAME UTILITIES

[One human family] Too often I see faces that oppose, and even verbally attack, members of No Name Key Property Owners Association declaring them to be “you people”, while wearing statement bracelets, or driving cars with bumper stickers, supporting the promise of One Human Family.

I’d like to take a moment to remind all of the original one human family proclamation signed October 17, 2000, it reads:

Whereas:

We truly believe that all other people are our equals during our short lives here on earth; and we are dismayed to see misleading “us versus them” viewpoints presented to us daily in the media, entertainment, and news; and we want to proclaim that the truth, as we see it, is that there is no “them”, there is just “us”, all of us, together as one human family, now and forever; and we want to share our unique perspective and simple (but true) words of hope “one human family” with our global neighbors, so others can find inspiration to grow beyond the artificial limitations of racism, nationalism, sexism, classism, monotheism, prejudice, homophobia, (and every other illusion used to try to separate us from all being equal); and we acknowledge that the genie of human equality is now out of the bottle, and that tyranny and oppression of any sort can never again be tolerated anywhere in the world, by anyone.

With these simple words in mind, it is my sincerest hope that principles of equality and equity of one human family be applied to everyone, even if they live on No Name Key.  The next time a certain county commissioner points her finger at No Name Key residents and says, “You people” I hope she remembers that we are all people, all taxpaying citizens of this county, and all part of the one human family she purports to support.

[Electricity] Things have been quiet on NNK, and I just wanted to be sure no one dropped the ball.  Can we see about getting utilities to those folks out there soon please?

Their 15-20 year old solar panels and batteries will be due for major maintenance or replacement soon because their output steadily decreases over time and replacement can be a very expensive proposition.  We need to get the wires in soon so that those good folks can save a little money to replace their solar arrays so they can pour their excess electricity back into the grid as promised.  Just give them their utilities OK?  Just send the wires in so we can bill them and shut down those horribly air and noise polluting gas generators.

The environmental impact of laying wires can't be any worse than napalming a few acres of land and barbecuing a few hundreds of wildlife (prescribed controlled burns). Can it?

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu

Wednesday September 15, 2010

Tuesday September 14, 2010

Tomorrow's the last day for the Coconut Telegraph before vacation!

The Coconut Telegraph will be closed for vacation for two weeks starting this Thursday, September 16 and will re-open Friday, October 1.

The last day for submissions will be tomorrow, Wednesday September 15. Posts received by 6 am Wednesday, September 15^th will all be published. All submissions received after that will be deleted because there is no way for us to catch up considering the volume of submissions we receive.

We will begin accepting emails on September 30^th for publication on our first day back from vacation,
Friday October 1.

We hope you will still visit BigPineKey.com and look at some of our other offerings.

[A Raise by Any Other Name...] Do the citizens of Monroe County know that there are several high level county employees that have recently been given substantial increases in "car allowance" money?  One in particular has received the equivalent of a 6% raise in salary as a result of this increase.  Increases on the order of $5400, $4800 and $7200 were given.  Don't these high level county employees have access to and the use of county owned vehicles already?  If we have to, why aren't we simply paying mileage rather than up to $600 per month for just one of these 4 personal vehicles?  Is this in lieu of a raise that "we don't have money in the budget" for?

Why are the figures seemingly so arbitrary?  Perhaps because it’s a 6% raise disguised as something else?  Mr. Neugent said he gets $0.45 per mile to use his vehicle, which would mean he would have to drive 16,000 miles to get $7200.  I don't begrudge Mr. Nugent's $0.45 per mile, as I am sure he is very careful at logging his vehicular use for County business purposes, but, "Hey, here's $600 a month" just doesn't cut it.  And why is our Monroe County Wastewater Engineers getting paid 6% of their salary simply to drive their personal vehicle when they already have access to a county vehicle?  Why? 

Some of these people were already making 2 to 3 times as much as you and I and the guy next door even before these "raises".

[Code Enforcement] The BOCC is considering changing the name of the Code Enforcement Department to the “Code Compliance Department” thinking that if you put lipstick on a pig it will smell sweeter.

[Good Service] We've enjoyed good service at the Hogfish Bar & Grill on Stock Island, Frank's Diner in Marathon, Chico's Mexican Restaurant on Stock Island, and Boondocks on Ramrod Key (especially in season).  

We've always had decent service at the Cracked Egg on BPK for breakfast, but the hours of operation can be a little erratic when business is slow.  Hope you find this accurate and helpful.

[Remember the bad old days]  I was driving along the 7 Mile Bridge and looking over at the old bridge and remembering how narrow that bridge was.  It is amazing to me that I am still alive. I remember many times being stuck on that bridge for hours because of a pile up. I even use to bring along a fishing pole just in case. I know you all have a flash back or two.

[Burqa] The canvas prison. Is this just a cover up? Slide Show

[Health Department Costs Too High] At the BOCC meeting in July, staff was directed to look for ways to fund the state health department "no less than 50%", which was somewhere around $150K, after being asked for about $300K more.  We currently fund them at approximately $700K.

At the recent BOCC meeting in September, the state health department is apparently being funded at 100%, the money coming from under that marvelous mattress, aka "reserves".  Not 55%, 70% or 85%, but apparently at 100% of the $300K which brings the total projected funding to just under $950K in total county direct funding.  Doesn't that tell the state that they are completely off the hook this year and potentially next year and so on ad infinitum, since Monroe County is apparently flush with excess money? 

Why are we doing this? We already are paying $700,000+ in direct funding for a county with a population of only 74,000.  Compare this to Alachua County, paying $909,000 with a population of 257,553 or approx. $4 a person.  Or compare it to Brevard County paying $467,000+ with a population of 555,000 or just over $.84 a person. 

Monroe County with its 74,000 residents will be paying a whopping $12 a person (in round numbers).  Monroe County taxpayers provide the building space, pay the utilities, the janitorial and maintenance costs as well.  Can we afford that?  Why must we pay as much as 14 times more than some other counties per person for the same services?

The Moondogs will be playing at Virgilio’s in Key West on Sept. 17 and 18. This will be Bike Weekend Poker Run and is going to be a blast. If you’re down checking out the bikes, come on in for fun and dancing.

Keep your shiny side up! ~Flip Flop Bob

[Marine Repair] Several months ago I saw a mobile marine repair truck saying Cannon Mobile Marine on it, but I didn't get the phone number. I've looked everywhere to find Mike Cannon to no avail. Is he still in business?

[Murphy’s Law of the Sea] If two boats are approaching a narrow channel both boats will pass each other at the narrowest point.

Greetings to you, I got your contact detail via business guide of your country.

Based on the further explicit investment information about your country from my research, I wish to invest in your country under your supervision.

I am Prince Abdul Hakeem Bolkiah, the son of Prince Jeffrey Bolkiah former finance minister of Brunei, the tiny oil-rich sultanate on the Gulf Island of Borneo. I save your time by not amplifying my extended royal family history, which has already been disseminated by the international media during the controversial dispute that erupted between my father and his step brother, the sultan of Brunei Sheik Muda Hassanal Bolkiah…bla, bla, rip-off, rip-off.

Note to Thief: If you’re trying to rip me off at least you could do is adjust your spam to name the country you want to invest in.

[Downstairs Enclosures Conspiracy] I wonder what the real reason the Brown's elevator was not installed and simply sat there languishing on the property waiting to do what elevators are intended to do.  Why wasn't it allowed to be installed?  There is a lot more to this than we are being led to believe, and more players (go ahead, take a guess) behind the scenes just waiting to see where this goes so they can pounce on the precedent set. 

[Wake Up--Keys too Expensive] On my way to a convention I stayed overnight along the way. Anyone I met said they wished they could live in the Keys. Those who used to vacation here said it was too expensive to camp at most places and the hotel-motels were also out of most budgets. I stayed at a beautiful Hilton right on the beach with ocean views for only $95 a night. On my way back I stayed at Captiva Island with a gulf front room for only $90 a night. The gulf is clean and so are the beaches. I did not even see cigarett butts on the beach. A toll fee to cross to Sanibel-Captiva didn’t seem to bother anyone and the places were busy even for Sept. Maybe the Keys need to rethink a lot of things.

Our county makes it difficult to spruce things up with way too many permit fees and codes. We are all so lucky to live in such a unique place. Now I understand why business is off in the Keys. People want to come, but it’s too expensive.

What can we all do to improve things? Let’s put on our thinking caps and stop bashing everyone and everything.

Link to GoodMorningFloridaKeys.com

[BPK.com Classifieds] Someone is selling a parrot they’ve had for 12 years in the Classifieds. Isn’t that cold, having a pet for that long and selling it? It must be a really awful bird.

I saw another ad that made me chuckle. It's a wanted ad for free top soil. The person probably doesn't know that op soil is the same price as gold in the lower Keys.

[TV Commercials] Why am I paying over a hundred dollars a month for TV service to watch commercials? For a hundred a month there should be no commercials. That is why Netflix and Hulu are doing so well.

Hulu is free and has only 15 and 30 second commercials. Netflix is only $10 a month and offers more content than the cable does and no commercials ever.

[Mange] Any suggestions for mange other than prescriptions from the Vet?

Cuba will lay off a half million government workers to reduce the bloat in government subsidies. They will now allow people to start their own business.

Another communist country bites the dust.

Where is Richard Road on Big Pine Key? They say there’s an unofficial boat launch there that crosses wetlands.

[Boat Parts] I was cleaning up under my house here in the Keys and I decided that I needed to get rid of a few things. Besides the usual palmetto bugs, scorpions and spiders I ran across some used, but good boat parts. I thought about Craigslist but they are such a hassle with other anal retentive posters flagging your ad and eBay has gotten too expensive. I got on my computer and found a new spot that will let you list your stuff for sale at no cost. The place is PartFlip. It’s not an auction just classifieds.

I guess we can clean out those downstairs enclosures before FEMA make us rip them out and at least make a few bucks at it. http://partflip.com/

[Earth to County ...] This is a message to County Administrator Roman Gastesi.  “You are not crazy. It is not only in your warped mind.” We out here in the homes and businesses also wonder why there are not fewer fire departments in the Keys, and why there is no serious effort to integrate some of them. Many see advantages, like maybe cost savings. This could be a big winner, but some paradigms would have to change.

Marathon and Key Colony Beach have managed to agree on sharing, albeit with some difficulties. The reason they came together was simple—the county services are too expensive, and getting more so.

Why, you might ask? The will to plan and save for needed vehicles and infrastructure does not seem to exist at the BOCC level. That is a tough nut to crack, so all we do is talk about it.

But I believe, with a five year plan, this goal is achievable, if we can during that period accomplish the following:

1. Maintain a level of civility and respect towards each other as communities;

2. Identify the lowest rates in the Keys, and set them as the unified county rates; and last but not least

3. Display at the BOCC level the will to fund this most important government service via proactive personnel budget decisions.

Planning isn’t very sexy, but it might do some serious good for all of us if Mr. Gastesi holds onto his vision and applies the soft sell. When the economies of scale become clear, the deal will be done. http://MarathonJournal.US

[Too Much Oxygen?] It has recently come to my attention that certain people out there are under the assumption that when a person is having a seizure that they can get too much oxygen.  Not true! If you see a trained medical professional giving a person oxygen and increasing the flow of oxygen to a person having a seizure please do not attempt to stop them from doing their job.  A person that is having a seizure can die and needs the oxygen to keep brain cells alive. A seizure can last seconds or up to and over 30 minutes. During that time the person will have different types of body movement and at times they may seem worse. Never, never deny a person oxygen when they are having a seizure. Should you find yourself in a situation where there are trained nurses and doctors around, please let them do their job.

[Zoos] What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A.  The southern zoo has a description of the animal ... along with a recipe.

I love reading the CT, have a great time Ed, can’t wait to read all about it.
~Oregon John

[Lost Keys] Sunday at parking area of Big Pine Baptist Church.  Two keys connected to a black automatic remote clicker.  One key is unique and has four sides to it.  If found please drive over to the to Big Pine Church and find someone to give them to.

[AA Basher] AA fills in the blanks of addiction ignorance much like religion fills in the blanks of scientific ignorance. With religion, “God did it” is the default answer to that which we do not (yet) understand. It is fallacious logic at its finest, and is in a nutshell saying, “I don’t know, therefore I know.” With AA, “spiritual weakness” is the default answer. Why does Mary D. insist on drinking when it continues to ruin her life? Simple. Because Mary is “constitutionally incapable” of being honest. This quote from the ‘Big Book’ states that “for reasons yet obscure”, some people have an inability to stop drinking, yet the book turns around and states that a “spiritual awakening” or “an entire psychic change” will relieve a person of their compulsion. In other words, they are stating that they don’t know why some people can’t stop drinking, but the reason they can’t stop is because they are spiritually weak — “I don’t know, therefore I know.” It is just one of the many contradictions which is AA.

NATIONAL POLITICS

Gangsta Government? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thR-lVuztIY&feature=player_embedded

The U.S. poverty rate has skyrocketed by a record amount under the Obama administration, with one out of seven Americans considered poor last year.

The Dow Jones industrial average rose 81 points for its eighth gain in the past nine days.

[State of Fear] Since September 11, 2001, fear has been the main engine of change in the United States. Who would have thought that across the US, where people boast that it is the home of the free and the land of the brave, people would gladly surrender their freedom and liberty because they so fear terrorism? The United States of Fear | CommonDreams.org

[Bush's Mosque] The republicans want you to be enraged about the New York mosque 3 blocks away from ground zero because they can poke our president and say "He’s a Muslim that’s why he wont comment." As silly as that is.

What they won’t tell you is that there already is an Islamic religious site at the Pentagon. It is at the wall that was attacked and is used everyday by Muslim followers.

I figure that if President Bush didn’t get railed for it on that ground zero, why are they railing President Obama for it? Imagine that, religious freedom can be practiced at the very site of the Pentagon’s ground zero home of our military’ yet 1/3 of a mile away in NYC it’s a travesty!

Republicans we see your insanity.

[Auto Sales Up] GM and Ford Motors are doing really well and the government plans to offer an initial public offering of GM stock in November after the mid-term elections. The government owns 61% of GM and wants to get rid of it and try to make a profit at the same time.

[From the Right] Recently we’ve been privileged to read some mutterings by an Obamaphile who seemed to be stuck on angry about comments made by a “Republican Leader” concerning purported beheadings in the desert. The Obamaphile characterized the comments as lies. I had not a clue as what the whole line was about, so I checked it out. It looks like Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, in campaign rhetoric, made comments that suggested that beheadings were taking place on American soil in the Arizona desert. It seems that she was wrong, she had been misinformed. She explained her error and she apologized.  But let’s dig just a little deeper.  Is the Obamaphile telling us that the US Soil of the Arizona desert is safe? All sentient folks agree that it is a horrifically dangerous place to be. It is dangerous because the U.S. Government continues to permit it to be dangerous.  Murders are commonplace. No one denies that. On the Mexican side of the border, beheadings have become an routine, an important tool for the narco-terrorists. Just a few days ago a single episode alone accounted for a dozen beheadings.  Mexican snipers, hiding on their side of the border, take pot shots at US law enforcement on the US side of the border. Team Obama has ordered signs posted on American soil in the Arizona desert warning all to stay out because of extreme danger. Had Governor Brewer referred to “murders” rather than “beheadings” the Obamaphiles could have no beef. Because it is true, absolutely true. I suppose that in the Obamaphile mind a murder victim who keeps his/her head, is less dead than one who is beheaded.  The Obamaphiles want us lose sight of the fact is that our Mexican border is wide open. The use a smoke screen to try and hide the fact that it is a superhighway for illegal aliens, narco terrorists, terrorists, and sundry enemies of our nation. Mr. Obama knows this, but because of craven political reasons, he refuses to close and secure the border. He has the power, but refuses to exercise it.  Walk proud Obamaphiles, (but keep your head down)!                                                
(Part II) Way back in WW2 a Norwegian named Vidkun Quisling was a traitor who helped the Nazis seize control of his nation. Over the years, the word Quisling became as a gift from God to describe a traitor. The very word actually suggests something sinister and slippery. The term quisling perfectly fits Charlie Crist. Only a few short months ago Crist repeatedly and loudly and proudly proclaimed that he was a die hard conservative Republican. He assured his base that held the left wing policies of Team Obama were worth only revulsion. He collected Republican campaign contributions hand over fist. He was/is the Governor of the State of Florida, elected as a Republican. As the primary season heated up it became obvious that Mr. Crist was not a conservative. He literally embraced Obama and the various Obama bailout and stimulus packages. Still he continued to solicit and accept Republican contributions. It soon became obvious that his Senate candidacy was in deep trouble. At that juncture he again swore that he was a conservative Republican, he solicited more money, and he swore that he would support his Republican rival, Marco Rubio, if Rubio won the primary. Crist lied. At the instant that Crist realized that he could not win over Rubio, Crist misappropriated his Republican donations, quit the Republican party and began campaigning as an Independent. Republicans asked for the return of the donations that had been given in good faith. They got only a single digit salute in return. Our liberal friends reading this are now starting to really like Crist. After all, he has screwed the Republicans; even if it took lying and actually stealing to do it. Remember that character or lack thereof is not a concern for liberals. To some liberal folks, lack of character is a virtue. Just yesterday the Miami Herald, a bastion of liberality, reported that Governor Crist has become a stranger in the Gov’s office, he’s only rarely there. He is ignoring the duties that he swore to uphold. I’ll bet you’ve forgotten that Crist won the Governor’s office by attacking his opponents work record.  Crist famously and frequently spoke the campaign pledge: “I’ll work for you ever day.”  I know that no Conservative person could, in good conscience, vote for Crist. I suspect that even the most progressive of our liberal friends could not bring themselves to trust Crist who would be nothing more than silly putty in the hands of whichever party had a serious majority. I So I sincerely hope that our liberal independent pals and our Democrat friends vote for Crist. You deserve each other.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Tuesday September 14, 2010

Monday September 13, 2010

[Australian Pines are Native] As much as I hate those damn trees for killing everything near them, I believe they are native. They are on almost every island in the world. How can anything be more native than that?

When an island is formed nothing is on it. Currents and wildlife bring seeds that grow and populate the island. Australian Pines are one of those seeds. How can we negate Australian Pines just because we don’t like them?

They are as native as anything else on an island.

The Coconut Telegraph will be closed for vacation for two weeks starting Thursday, September 16 and will re-open Friday, October 1.

The last day for submissions will be Wednesday September 15. Posts received by 6am September 15^th will be published. All submissions received after that will be deleted because there is no way to catch up considering the volume of submissions we receive.

We will begin accepting emails on September 30^th for publication on our first day back from vacation, October 1.

We hope you will still visit BigPineKey.com and look at some of our other offerings.

[Raise Taxes to Raise Salaries] In looking at the new "tax warning" we have been sent, I see that my taxes this year are up by 35% and my property value is down by 62%. What outright, if barely legal, thievery by Monroe County is this? Monroe County, with all their raises, especially at this time when all over the US people are cutting spending and waste, tightening their civic belts and not trying to finagle the last dime from their citizens.

Just visualize it. Our top bureaucrats (most unnecessary) sitting on their asses behind their desks for as few hours as possible per week, the county and mosquito control trucks hiding under the trees here and there throughout the Keys, and the ten helmeted supervisors standing around the hole watching one or two peons working a shovel. No belts being tightened here, with the bosses sitting like fat ticks, feeding on the county coffers.

How long can this disgusting, ridiculous scenario go on without some form of tax revolt?

[Nightmare] A post on the Telegraph from a couple of weeks ago reported that Rob's Island Grill was closed for vacation.  Then later, I read about his bank's takeover.  I hate to see businesses having troubles, but expect there will be more in the future.  An angel came to me in a dream last night.  It seems there might be something more to the Editor's vacation. 

This angel claims there will be a bank takeover of the Telegraph and they will hire Sloan to operate the Telegraph.  Do you think it might have been a nightmare?

[Pythons in the Keys] Perhaps new decor for the Keys Shuttle?

[Perfect mimosa] 1. Fill a glass half-way with orange juice. 2. Hand it to your kid. 3. Swig champagne out of the bottle. Don’t let the tiny bubbles tickle your nose.

South Dakota is the only state that's never had an earthquake.

[Imagine That] Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

[Teacher’s Union] That's only part of the problem.  If schools had to compete for students like businesses have to compete for customers the product would improve, quickly and drastically.  Vouchers are the answer.

[Sloan] The lead piece in today's Key West Citizen is about this Wednesday's county commission meeting in Marathon. The piece ends with a brief summary of the Brown case, of which I have wrtten several times, and ends:
 
County Commissioner Geroge Neugent, who described the Brown's situation as unique, said he could support grantiunng the variance if it expires when the family sells the home.
 
The Browns bought there home in 2002. Their son son, Darren, was injured in a motorcycle accident in 2005 and rendered paraplegic from the chest down. The State of Florida offered to install an elevator for Darren at no cost to the Browns, while Darren was still recovering in a Miami area hospital. So the Browns applied for an elevator permit. The permit application led to them being told by Code Enforcement that they had an illegal downstairs enclosure, even though the downstairs enclosure had been permitted and built as part of the original construction in the 1970s, and a certificate of occupancy had been issued for the entire house, including the downstairs enclosure, which contained a bathroom and a kitchen. Then, the State ran out of money and no longer could install for free the free elevator that had already been delivered to the Browns’ home. After a year or so, the State came back and retrieved its elevator.
 
The Browns took out the kitchen and did some work inside the downstairs enclosure, within its original legal footprint, to make a place for Darren to live. Even as Code Enforcement proceeded against the Browns. A Special Magistrate abated the Code Enforcement action, pending the Browns appealing to the County Commission for a variance. The case is set to be heard by the Special Magistrate at the end of this month, if the County Commission does not grant the Browns a variance. They suggested the conditional use variance themselves, for so long as Darren lives in the home. After he no longer lives there, the variance would extinguish.
 
George told me in an email week before last that he agreed the Commission should grant the Browns' application and not to do so would be unconscionable.  

Unconscionable: Unusually harsh and shocking to the conscience; that which is so grossly unfair that a court will proscribe it. When a court uses the word unconscionable to describe conduct, it means that the conduct does not conform to the dictates of conscience. In addition, when something is judged unconscionable, a court will refuse to allow the perpetrator of the conduct to benefit.
 
The Browns are represented by Attorney Lee Rohe. Lee is the Keys lawyer, when it comes to downstairs enclosures. He has litigated one of these cases to hell and back. He will litigate the Browns' case to hell and back, if the County Commission does not grant the conditional variance. Imagine how much staff legal time will be taken up. Imagine how much that will cost We the People. Imagine how you would feel if you were the Browns and your elected officials denied your cries for help.
 
See you at the county commission meeting Wednesday, in Marathon.
Sloan Bashinsky poetical advertisement, approved and paid for by me, District 2 county commission candidate from hell and back.

[Good Service] I have read several posts complaining about sub-par service from some bartenders and wait staff in the Keys. I would like to hear about places and service people that are well-liked and making people happy. Then we might all have a better choice as to where to go. 

This is really a cheer-up song. Don't let the title mislead you. Crappy Times Audio

[1954 Motorama Dream Car] After spending decades as a collection of parts stuffed into wooden crates the F-88 was reassembled.  In 1954, the F-88 was a Motorama Dream Car and was one of only two or an unconfirmed possible three ever created. The F-88 seen here is literally the only car left of its kind and was sold to John and Maureen Hendricks at the prestigious Barrett-Jackson Auto Auction in Scottsdale , Arizona for an unbelievable $3,240,000. This acquisition made automotive history and is the cornerstone of the Gateway Colorado Automobile Museum in its own special room in a rotating display worthy of the F-88.

[Full Moon Kayak Trip] Thursday, Sept 23rd. Join Friends And Volunteers of Refuges (FAVOR) on the only charity kayak event on the islands. Capt. Bill Keogh, a noted local guide and photographer, and his crew at Big Pine Kayak Adventures have donated a sunset/moonrise scenic paddle through the sponge flats, grass beds and mangrove forests of the Great White Heron National Wildlife Refuge. The two-hour trip will cost $25 per person and all proceeds will be used for outreach..., education, and volunteer projects on behalf of the four Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuges. It's the perfect way to explore and enjoy nature while directly benefiting it.

The full moon trip is only offered once a month, so sign up now. To reserve your seat for this wonderful sunset / moonrise excursion, call 872-7474. The trip will depart from the Old Wooden Bridge Fishing Camp near the No Name Key Bridge. Bulletin Board

A great website like the Coconut Telegraph is like the world talking to itself. Thanks for all you do, Deer Ed. Have a great vacation. You and your work will be missed.

As the waxing Moon moves upper leftward from evening to evening, it passes Scorpius sinking for the season toward the lower right.

Monique Acevedo pleaded guilty and is now appealing her sentence of 8 years confinement and 22 years of probation and paying restitution of over 400K.  Could it be that she thinks the sentence was too lenient?

Parrotdise Bar & Grill Resort in Little Torch Key just got the NFL Sunday Ticket from DirecTV. Now you can watch your favorite football team play in an air conditioned environment. Yeah Buddy, that's the ticket!

Have a safe trip, Deer Ed, and if you're flying please inform your readers of any new airline fees.

[Lionfish Derby] The way to get rid of anything is to put a bounty ion it.

More than 100 divers collected 534 Indo-Pacific red lionfish during the first concerted effort to reduce the population of the invasive species in the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary. The first of three Keys-based lionfish derbies Saturday attracted 27 teams, which competed for cash and prizes to collect the most, largest and smallest lionfish. The winning group captured 111 lionfish. Unsuspecting pet owners are releasing the nonnative fish into the Atlantic, where they have no natural predators. Lionfish’s growing populations off the southeast U.S., Bahamas and the Caribbean are impacting indigenous fish, because they eat important juvenile reef species such as grouper and snapper.

To the person who suggests my motorcycle speedometer is wrong I have logged 20,000 miles in the past 3 years on the same bike and I know how my speedometer works and the mental adjustment necessary to know how fast I am going.  So when I say I have followed speeders off the bridge at 70 (and you know yourself that you do) they are truly doing 70.  Old town Marathon, whether its 70 or 65 you are driving, is a dangerous place to be a pedestrian or a rider.  If you have the tires on your car or truck that are not the same ones your vehicle was designed for, your speedometer is wrong.  Why argue, we all know that speeding is rampant, so slow down, ok?

[AA Basher] I got a message form the AA advisor that said he is going on vacation to Alaska for several weeks. He was told in AA that doing a geographical change would not work. That he would end up drinking Vodka in the igloos with the natives. That’s just more AA dogma. He said that he would try to stay in touch if his wireless connection works. Enjoy. He did say he hopes he can stay in touch because he wants to stay abreast of what the angels are saying to Sloan.

OIL SPILL

[Oil Imports] 32 years ago 30% of our oil consumption was foreign imports.  Now 70% of our oil consumption is foreign imports.

With Cuban oil drilling 50 miles off KW,  which way will their inevitable oil spill go? What are the ocean's current patterns between the oil drill site and any of the Keys? Will all those in love with Cuban-KW trade be the first ones paying for the oil spill cleanups? 

NATIONAL POLITICS

According to pollster.com Obama’s approval ratings are growing again. I hope the Right keeps coming up with their crazy attacks and wacked out logic. America’s seeing right through it. I guess when you cannot be happy about us bringing troops home from a war people realize the republican desperation. Republican leaders are telling us that there’s beheadings going on in the desert and they got called out for it then had to go on national TV and say they lied about it. Republican’s fear mongering is helping more then they know. I love the nuts on the right. Keep up the insane rants. “Beheadings in the desert.” That’s a classic.

If George W. Bush had filled his cabinet and circle of advisers with people who cannot seem to keep current in their income taxes, would you have approved? 

The first known flu fatality on the U.S. side of the border is emblematic of the problem posed by the symbiotic relationship. The 22-month-old boy who died of the flu in a Houston hospital had flown from Mexico City to Matamoros to visit relatives across the bridge in Brownsville, Texas.

Many families have one foot in both countries. Managers for Mexican industrial plants on the border often live north of the river, while workers in the plants have family ties deeper inside Mexico and frequently head south.

[Double Dipping] Texas State Rep. Joe Driver (R), an 18-year House veteran whose website notes his opposition to "big spending habits of liberals in government," was revealed in August to have been routinely double-billing the government for travel expenses and to have been genuinely surprised to learn that voters and colleagues might find that improper. Driver insists he thought the double-billing was perfectly appropriate -- until talking about it with the AP, at which point he appeared to change his mind. "Well, it doesn't sound appropriate now if you bring it up that way," he admitted. "To learn that pretty well screws my week."

For at least five years, Driver had been collecting from the government for expenses already reimbursed by his re-election campaign.

ObamaCare cuts $818 billion from Medicare Part A (hospital insurance) from 2014-2023, the first 10 years of its full implementation, and $3.2 trillion over the first 20 years, 2014-2033.  Adding in ObamaCare cuts for Medicare Part B (physician’s fees and other services) brings the total cut to $1.05 trillion over the first 10 years and $4.95 trillion over the first 20 years.

[From the right] Just for the record I confess that I was a member of a police union. But I was a member for less than 2 years at the very beginning of my career. I quit the union. Here’s why. The union was braying about police professionalism. Even as a pink cheeked rookie I knew that most cops are professionals. I knew I was proud to be a part of that brotherhood. While the unions were braying how professional we were, they were hiring for-profit telephone solicitors to raise money for various self-serving police union projects. Things like Fraternal Order of Police (FOP) halls and money for lobbying.  For every buck that the solicitors raised, union management got only about .25 or so cents, the balance went to the paid solicitors.  One never hears of doctors, lawyers, accountants, rocket scientists or other professionals hiring telephone solicitors to raise money. The police union was offering window stickers for sale to the general public that showed a police type logo with a message that was strongly supportive of “local police”. You’ve seen them. You may have bought them. Be honest, if you bought them didn’t you believe that the FOP or Police Benevolent Association sticker might help you avoid a ticket? The next question is do you really think that any cop who would be influenced by a silly sticker is a professional?  Come on gang, every one of us knows that those stickers were sold and displayed in the hopes that the buyer could avoid a ticket. That damn sure is not professionalism.

In the union meetings, there was never any talk about how to better serve the public, but rather only how to get more money for doing less work. Union dialog was centered on the public as being nothing more than an annoyance, and management as being fools that impeded the rank and file from enjoying life. So I quit the union. That single act was the best career move that I made. It forced me to compete in the workplace rather than being restricted to seniority for pay raises, promotions, and career challenge. The union even had a sub rosa slogan “Do your 8 and skate.” That means work to the union rules and not an inch beyond. Don’t make waves, put in your time, don’t bust your butt. Don't show up your union brothers.  

My pension is not a union pension. It is the Florida Retirement System, (FRS) it is one the healthiest pension systems in the nation. We get a raise every year. The union had nothing to do with my FRS pension. Unlike most union operated pensions, the FRS benefits are generous and are secure. Nationwide, union pensions are all teetering on bankruptcy. Soon we will be debating whether or not they should be bailed out with federal tax money.  I, proudly, was cop for nearly 40 years. During those years I can think of not a single union effort or practice that was for the direct benefit of the public that its members are sworn to serve. It's worth noting that the agency that employed me had about 350-375 employees when I retired. The employees have been repeatedly and unsuccessfully targeted for unionization. They are a proud lot.

(Part II) The last week or so has been the stuff of theatre. First we had all the hue and cry about the Muslim intent to build a conquest Mosque to have been named the Cordoba Mosque a kidney toss from ground zero. It quickly became a worldwide maelstrom. Mr. Obama, in a magnificent display of not much, asserted the Muslims have an absolute Constitutional right to build their memorial wherever they pleased. Indeed, Mr. Obama absolutely refused to even comment the “wisdom” or the “insensitivity” or the probity of such a move. Mr. Obama chastised anyone who speaking out against the show place Mosque, in fact,  he alluded to religious intolerance on the part of the opposition.  Now, all of that is very interesting, but the best is yet to come!  Up jumped a tiny Tweet on Twitter where in a deep country pastor of a tiny North Florida Christian church told the world that he planned to burn a Koran at his tiny church. He has about 30-40 worshippers. His church makes our BPK houses of worship look like NYC Cathedrals.  The Tweet went viral! Viral like nothing ever seen before. Their were massive Muslim demonstrations against all infidel Americans. The Muslim masses demanded death to all infidels and beheadings of Americans. Yet again we are treated to world wide display of demands for death for anyone who opposes the Muslim faith. Did Mr. Obama give a heartfelt speech to the world that burning Bibles, Korans, or Superman Comics are constitutionally free speech protected in the USA? You know, it’s the same thing as the famous “Piss Christ.” You bet he did! During his many comments, he refused to even comment on the wisdom of the Mosque and its location.  It is apparent  that the mosque is not in the least bit offensive to the President of the United States. Did he just even just stay on the sidelines and keep the hell out of it?. Nope. Team Obama, all over the freaking world jumped in and began twisting arms to prevent the Koran burning. Even Sec Def Gates jumped in.  They jumped in to stop an American clergyman from exercising the most fundamental of all American rights, the Right to Free Speech. As all of that was unfolding, it is fair to ask if Mr. Obama condemned the “Death of America” rhetoric or even the specific death threats that are so much part and parcel of Muslim theology? The answer is “No, no freaking way.” Well folks, what message does all of this send to Americans and to the Muslims of the world?  If I were a Muslim, I’d be a very happy camper. I’m not a Muslim, and I’m not happy. This poster and most Americans are not happy campers.  This is only one of the myriad reasons that Mr. Obama has managed to convert an approval rating of 69% on the day he was inaugurated to only a 46% approval rating in about 18 months.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Monday September 13, 2010

Sunday September 12, 2010

The Coconut Telegraph will be closed for vacation for two weeks starting Thursday, September 16 and will re-open Friday, October 1.

The last day for submissions will be Wednesday September 15. Posts received by 6am September 15^th will be published. All submissions received after that will be deleted because there is no way to catch up considering the volume of submissions we receive.

We will begin accepting emails on September 30^th for publication on our first day back from vacation, October 1.

We hope you will still visit BigPineKey.com and look at some of our other offerings.

[Sunday Message from Jesus Christ] "When you see my face on a tortilla or a grilled cheese sandwich that means it's my lunch, leave it alone.

[Beyonce's Island]  Even if they never set foot on any other island around here, that kind of money moving in means services and supplies will be needed, so don't knock it!  I've never gotten a job from a poor person.  This is opportunity!

Mosquito control this is Palm Villa subdivision …

Do you copy me, over ...

We are under attack by the enemy!   

Mosquito Control, Palm Villa ... We got bogeys everywhere ... over.

[Sloan] Campaign manager untruthful in letter.
The Sept. 1 Citizen contains a letter from Tim Gratz accusing me of egregious anti-Cuban-American remarks and bigotry toward Hispanics. A [former] contributing writer to Solares Hill and Danny Coll’s campaign manager, Gratz ghostwrote Richard Sands’ letter just before the primaries, accusing me of the same thing. My reply to Sands was held up until after the Republican primary because The Citizen didn’t want Hispanic voters to see it before they went to the polls.
 
The Citizen and Solares Hill wanted Danny Coll to beat George Neugent. That first became evident when Solares Hill published a big piece on Cuban-Americans, in which Danny Coll was prominently featured. That piece violated The Citizen and Solares Hill’s policy of not doing personal articles on candidates during a campaign. I wrote to Solares Hill Editor Mark Howell, reminding him of that policy, which he previously had explained to me. I said to forget me, but Solares Hill owed George Neugent equal treatment. I heard nothing back from Mark and Solares did not run an equal treatment on George.
 
I agree with Gratz. If I had not entered the District 2 County Commission race and closed that primary to only registered Republican voters, Danny Coll probably would have beaten George Neugent in an open Republican primary in which Democrats and independents would have voted, but Gratz lied that I filed to run because George asked me to run. Gratz knew I told Danny months before I filed that I might file, but hoped God wouldn’t make me do it. Gratz knew I wrote that I held off filing until the last minute, hoping God would give me a free pass, and I didn’t get one.
 
What I wrote, which Gratz and Sands twisted into my being a bigot and racially prejudiced against Hispanic people, can be found at my July 27 post to goodmorningfloridakeys.com. If after reading that post, you (Coll, Gratz and Sands excluded) truly feel I am a bigot and racially prejudiced against Hispanic people, contact me at keysmyhome@hotmail.com and I will buy you a meal at your favorite local Cuban restaurant.

Link to GoodMorningFloridaKeys.com

[Peace Lady] As I stood at the light on BPK on 9 /11/ 2010 from 9-11 a.m. the realization of why I was there was very moving. 9 years ago we lost American's on American soil, but, what is most interesting, is I forgot how much it would mean to the local firefighters, police, ambulance drivers and other  first responders. To my delight they turned on sirens, flashed their lights, gave thumbs up, and all with appreciative smiles. In fact an emergency broke out, and the Fire Dept. came down Key Deer Blvd on a mission. What a site to see our everyday heroes in action. So today I want to say thank you to all who serve America in so many ways. Go U. S. A.  And for people who know me as the Peace Lady, I had only one finger up today because America is number one!

[Staph] After reading Sloan’s detailed experience with MSRA and the other very informative posts about I’ve taken to scrubbing myself every day instead of just washing. I’m always afraid of bad germs, but now I’m on high alert. Thanks for the information.

A note of interest to me is that turmeric has been widely use around the world to fight infection forever and it makes food taste good too.

Side by side. New words to an old song. Video

[Motorcyclists] I read the post about crazy drivers on US1 from a motorcyclist. While I am a past, and hopefully, future biker I do want to point out something to consider. Is it possible that your speedometer is inaccurate? I drive within the parameters you described and find this is usually fine unless I am behind a motorcyclists. Most of the time they are trolling along at 10 mph under the speed limit as though the whole world around them is on vacation too. If you pass them they act like you just stole something from them. I have to assume that they believe they are within the typical 10% range of the posted speed limit. They always look down at their speedguess-ometer and have a WTF look.

9/11 Rituals of Sorrow. Unsettled nation marks 9/11 with rituals of sorrow.

Sumter County, South Carolina is home to the world's largest gingko farm.

[Unions] (That was a ridiculous post about hiring non-union workers.) The teacher’s union is one of the reasons this country has such stupid kids. The stupid teachers are protected by their union. Get rid of the teacher’s union and then we’ll be able to get rid of ineffective teachers.

[Standing Room Only] An Italian company that makes airline seats has designed and patented a standing-room seat. And officials of Aviointeriors tell trade publication Travel Weekly there is "strong interest" in the seat from carriers around the world, including U.S. airlines. The company is calling its design SkyRyder and says on its website the stand-up seats would create a win-win situation – cheaper fares for consumers while helping carriers in "maintaining sound profitability."

Passengers in the standing seat would "assume a dynamic upright position, which is not only comfortable but also very healthy," Gaetano Perugini, Aviointeriors' research and development director, tells the trade paper. The design has a 23-inch pitch or less, as compared to the tightest economy-class seat with a 28-inch pitch, the company says. There is space underneath the seat for a carry-on. The only carrier that has come out saying it is working on a plan for standing-room seats is Irish budget carrier Ryanair, headed by controversy-loving CEO Michael O'Leary. European safety officials have scoffed at the idea.

The Mosquito Authority is a prime example of bloat. The renewal of the worthless TV show is a prime example of hubris. The county should handle the Authority. They Authority has the highest salaries and its service is a cover for taking care of their chums under the guise of dengue fever. The show is gay. The guy who got his contract renewed for the show without board approval 5 months in advance screams of him being Fussel’s boyfriend. He is looking out for his cuckolded little boyfriend. That is all just a bunch homoerotic posturing. That’s why we work at the MCMC; you can steal a few phones, homestead 3 homes, or you can do whatever you feel.  ~greengo72@yahoo.com

What's up with the road construction? A month ago I saw progress every day and crews working every night. Now we've got a torn up road with "cliffs" exiting to the post office or the traffic light; and it has been that way for weeks. I see a couple of guys digging near Ships Way, but that's it. I'm beginning to wish they had just left it alone.

[Boycott CITGO] President Chavez threatened the US again over something or other and threatened to withhold oil from us.

90% of Venezuela’s export income comes from oil, most of that to the USA. His country would be devastated if he didn’t sell us his oil. I think we should boycott CITGO and teach the megalomaniac a lesson.

[Snazzy Napper] More proof we are becoming a nation of idiots. This stupid rag makes you look like a Muslim woman. I'd be afraid someione would tyhink I was a terrorist. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MthSUD8cMqk

The Koran burning jerk minister says God told him not to burn the holy book. Take heed of anyone who thinks they hear God talking to them.

Are you reading this Sloan?

[Preparing for Progress] Filled with trash and discarded items, the unpiloted ISS Progress 38 supply vehicle departed from the International Space Station at 7:22 a.m. (EDT) on Aug. 31, 2010. Russian flight controllers conduct thruster tests with the Progress to gather engineering data until it deorbited and burned up in Earth's atmosphere over the Pacific Ocean. Its departure cleared the way for the arrival of the next Russian resupply vehicle, ISS Progress 39, which will launch Sept. 10 and dock Sept. 12, delivering 2.5 tons of food, fuel and supplies for the Expedition 24 crew.

[Radio Video?] The wave of the future?

[SUFA] Unless someone can prove otherwise, it seems that when the County put out for bids on the Middle Keys animal shelters, SUFA was the only bidder, the County didn't want to pay so much, but had no legal way to refuse the bid so in lieu sought to destroy SUFA and Linda's reputation by leaking allegations yet to be proven. 

[Bloopers] Some Bill Dance Fishing Show bloopers. http://www.flixxy.com/best-fisherman-bloopers.htm

[Beyonce and Jay Z]  They will turn this place into more of a ghetto than it already is.   Stars bring their own employees, furniture, most of their food and their own type of violence.  It will be no big loss to the community if they don't decide to buy here. 

While old age creeps we go faster.

I agree with the commenter about Rob. Thank god and greyhound he is gone.  His waitresses of a couple years ago picked up his demeanor. I don't know about the recent ones.  One of the old ones works in a KW bar. She could not get another job near big Pine even though she lives here. ~joln99@bellsouth.net

[On Target] To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. I think our politicians learned this long ago.

[Bar Fly] It sounds like who ever wrote the comments about the bar fly hanging around in a derelict bar knows firsthand. How do they know? Sounds to me like he’s hanging at the derelict bar too.

NATIONAL POLITICS

Homeland Security is out of control. We overreacted to Al Qaeda’s supposed reach.

The Department of Homeland Security employs 230,000 people, mostly doing nothing but pushing pencils. They produce 136 reports a day! -- meaning few ever get read. 33 new building complexes have been built for new intelligence bureaucracies alone, occupying 17,000,000 square feet, the equivalent of three Pentagons. The largest government site in 50 years is being built outside D.C. for $3.4 billion to house the largest bureaucracy after the Pentagon and the Dept of Veterans Affairs. 30,000 people are employed just to listen to phone calls and other communications in the US. And it doesn’t work. They aren’t sharing this information.

No one noticed that Major Hasan had been making a series of strange threats at the Walter Reed Medical Center. The father of the Nigerian “Christmas Bomber” reported his son to the US Embassy, but that message never got to the right people.

James Madison said, “No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual war.”

[Unions Bad] Wasn't FTR a cop in another life, thus a member of the union who now collects union benefits, Social Security and is on Medicare?

[US Debt Is More Than All Money In the World] For perspective at the time that 2008 article was written, the entire supply of money in the world (“broad money,” i.e., global M3, meaning cash, consumer-account deposits, checkable accounts, CDs, long-term deposits, travelers’ checks, money-market funds, the whole enchilada) was estimated to be just under $60 trillion. Which is to say: The optimistic view is that our outstanding obligations amount to more than all of the money in the world.

Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi tripled the national deficit last year by nearly a trillion dollars – something unheard of in our nation’s history.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised we have not heard the recent Gallup poll figures. Remember last week when crowing the republicans were crowing about having a 10 point lead in a generic poll. The president’s approval rating according to the Gallup Poll is dead even.

The President has brought his numbers up to a 46% approval rating. All you have to do is look around you and listen to the scattered nuttiness being put out by the Right to understand that Americans are starting to see them as desperate.

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Twitter post, "Over Anchorage, AK. Looking everywhere but can’t see Russia from here". Did you know Ms. Palin was right again, you can see Russia from Alaska. The water between Alaska and Russia is called the Bering Strait. In the strait there are two islands, Big Diomede and Little Diomede. Little Diomede belongs to the US and Big Diomede belongs to Russia. They are about 2 miles apart, so you can see one from the other. But both are small, featureless, uninhabited islands. So you can see Russia from the US, but just barely, and there's really not much to see. Ms. Palin response was that,  “Arnold should have landed. I could have explained our multi-billion dollar state surplus and US energy security efforts. What's he been up to?"

[From the Right] It seems to me that Mr. Obama’s handling of the issue of the threat of Muslim Fundamentalist terrorism is incredibly confusing. On the one hand, his actions in Afghanistan are laudable. But still he insists in giving our national enemies comfort and help in their war planning by telling them the limits of our involvement. He has told the enemy when our commitment to our allies will end. By so doing, he has told the enemy how long they will have to wait to win. Then there is the issue of our victory in Iraq. Mr. Obama steadfastly refused to even speak of victory. His speech was apologetic. Team Obama has had some successes in thwarting terrorist plots in the USA, but he has had horrible failures wherein only blind luck and the ineptitude of the terrorists saved scores if not hundreds of American lives. Reliance in Divine intervention and blind luck are not a valid homeland security philosophy.  Mr. Obama has vigorously pursued a personal outreach to Muslims. That outreach has only enhanced suspicions that many Americans have concerning Mr. Obama’s heritage and religious preference. It is supremely ironic that Mr. Obama’s obsequious behavior towards the Muslim world has only diminished his world wide stature and respect. The vast majority of Americans are convinced that Muslims have an absolute Constitutional right to build the Cordaba Muslim Ground Zero Mosque. Nearly all Americans believe that Mr. Obama was at best, a damned fool, for refusing to comment on the “wisdom” of it. Mr. Obama’s policies of sheltering Muslims from suspicion and criticism permitted a Muslim fanatic Army Officer to murder over 30 Americans in pursuit of his personal jihad.  To post a catalogue of Mr. Obama’s successes and failures in this arena would be a waste of space, you already know the episodes. It seems that the most dangerous component of his policy/philosophy is his stubborn refusal to acknowledge the serious danger that is posed by our sieve like borders. He absolutely refuses to shut our borders. Just within the last two days Team Obama announced an expansion of their “catch and release” program for illegal aliens who have been apprehended. The long and short if it is that a newly arrested illegal alien will be even less likely to be deported. It is galling to realize that the President of the United States of America has made a conscious decision that the political gain of his political party is more important that the security of our nation.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu

Sunday September 12, 2010

Saturday September 11, 2010

(eD:  No edIT SatuRDAY!!!!!!......b-cuz u assd 4 iT!!!!!!!!!

[No-Edit Saturday] For those of you visiting for the first time, don’t judge the Coconut Telegraph by today’s un-edited episode. This is almost the Editor's day off. Tune in tomorrow for the edited version. You’ll find its format and graphics more pleasing. (Note to friends of the Editor: I can get out of here a lot sooner on Saturday if you don't send in any photos, attachments or Classified Ads for Saturday publication. That's because it takes a lot of time to resize and re-format them. Please email them to us by 6am on Sunday  for Sunday's publication. I'll appreciate it a lot.)

OIL SPILL

NATIONAL POLITICS

NO NAME ELECTRIC

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu

Saturday September 11, 2010

Friday September 10, 2010

[New Neighbors] How come we are not talking about Beyonce and Jay Z buying an island off Big Pine?

[Who Pays] In April my wife had a seizure at home due to a brain tumor and my 9 year old son found her and called 911 (thankfully). The ambulance came (truly wonderful team we have).

Now I am getting billed for the service? It is a county run service? I’m not sure if it’s volunteers. Isn't this paid through our taxes? Is it a state run organization? How can I get billed? What's next, the fire department billing for mileage and water usage? The police charging fuel/mileage usage for giving a speeding ticket?  Heck, as far as I know the helicopter is free for us too. I should have requested that! This is absurd and should be addressed before this non-sense continues to happen to all of us when we need it.

[George Nugent] We watched the BOCC meeting on television and you are spot on! Smoke and mirrors is exactly the phrase I used to my wife while watching. The euphemism of some soft "mattress with a magic roll of dollar bills under it” was patently insulting if it was intended to make us all feel comfy and cozy about the whole thing.  The citizens of Monroe County are smarter than that and deserve to know exactly who, what, where, when, why and how much it will cost now; and how much it will really cost us all later.

What is the speed limit in Marathon?  Is it 35 or 45 or 55?  Or is it actually 70?

 I ride a motorcycle and I pay attention to the posted speed limits and go over by no more than 10% when the roads are clear and dry and safely uncongested and I am extremely conscious of school zones.  As a biker I have learned to beware and be aware.  I have not had a driving infraction in well over 10 years.  I travel to Summerland Key every day for work and back to Marathon in the early afternoon.  I am becoming used to everyone speeding up to 70 on the 7 Mile Bridge and the daredevils that think passing on the bridge is safe. Going with the flow, as many will know, is safer than forcing others to pass you to let them get that 70 mph drug hit. 

What really disturbs me though, and I have noticed it almost every day, is that most of those bridge speeders do not slow down once they get off the bridge heading into Marathon.  I followed one group of cars off the bridge the other day and against my own better judgment, I stayed with them to see just how far they would go at 70.  How about all the way to the school zone near Home Depot before the brakes came on?  And then they sped up again afterwards.  Do we have any speeding enforcement in town?  I have ridden many miles of highways across Canada and the US and this place scares me the most! 

I have had people cut me off, try to squeeze into my lane when they are barely past me. If I’m not speeding, I’m pretty much guaranteed a horn blast or at least a vehicle so close behind me it may as well be on a trailer hitch.  It is almost an everyday occurrence to have some zombie on their cell-phone pull directly in front of me from a side street when there is no one behind me. And they are totally oblivious to what they have just done.  It happens both when I'm on the bike or in the truck, so it’s not a visibility issue so much as an indication of careless and thoughtless driving.

It's not the visitor's, these are Monroe County license plates.  Will law enforcement do something before I end up as a smudge mark on the pavement due to someone else's careless disregard for public safety and their abject disregard for the posted speed limits?  The other end of town isn't any better.

[Condoms for Sale in Jail] Really, what more is there to be said? San Francisco jail installs condom dispensers

We, too, love the Wharf in Summerland and find them to be delicious and on the inexpensive side. However, we refuse to be served by a certain little person who frequents a certain lower-class, degenerate bar on a daily and nightly basis.  Those types do not get to handle our food or credit card numbers and it is amazing the management would hire such a bar fly from such a wretched place and who smells like stale cigarettes and alcohol.  A drunk, druggie, mooch barfly may be okay washing dishes in the back of the house, but not waiting tables and representing an establishment.  Even someone who cooks is a scary thing handling our food knowing they are alcohol diseased.  We have businesses down here and would never consider hiring anyone from that derelict bar as it speaks volumes about the applicant.  Do you really want your order handled by those trolls? 

[Love and Marriage] All my married friends are unhappy campers and seem to fool around. I am pleased as punch to be a single entity.  It is fantastic to live in peace and quiet. When I need some action I can go out and TCB(?) then return to my fortress of freedom.  I don't have to deal with domestic crap or live with someone who gets on my nerves.  Just because you see me us a singleton does not mean we are lonely or desperate.  Many of us are very content.

Unless I meet someone as perfect as myself it is doubtful I would ever consider marriage or cohabitation.

[Air potato plant] Florida Keys Newest Unwanted. Land Managers offer prizes for discovering new invasive species. What if the first abandoned iguanas had been rounded up before they mated?  What if the early populations of Brazilian pepper had been removed before birds and raccoons spread the seeds Keyswide?

The Florida Keys Invasive Exotics Task Force, comprised of Keyswide public and private conservation land managers is attempting to find out.  While certain invasive exotic plants and animals have become so widespread that they are a constant assault (usurp invader conquest threat drain detriment damage impairment harm spoil injury) to natural ecosystems and wildlife, other mainland non natives are just crossing our borders and can be stopped, according to Alison Higgins, Land Conservation Program Manager of The Nature Conservancy.

“Air Potato, Burma Reed, and Pythons are all examples of non-native species that have proven to be major invaders on the mainland, but are just showing up here.  If we can find and get rid of them now it will be a lot cheaper and a lot less harmful to our natural areas.”

To that end, Exotics Task Force members, including State Parks, National Wildlife Refuges and private conservation groups are offering prizes to individuals that help find and map the groups priority species.  Prizes range from gift certificates and park passes for the most species per region, to a snorkel trip for two for the most species mapped overall.

Scavenger Hunt, and how to play, go to www.floridainvasives.org/Keys

Commodore Restaurant in Key West’s surf ‘n turf rocks my world.  It’s not just for special occasions anymore.  What a great restaurant.  I am still thinking about how perfect everything was and want to go back asap.

[More bar wisdom] Work is awesome, it's the only way to get screwed constantly without fear of pregnancy or disease.

[Sloan's comments about SUFA: "Had I been a commissioner and known the actual income of her shelters through all sources, I would have wanted to cut what the county was providing."]
 
Obviously, this applies to the SPCA which also has outside funding, yes?  It's not too late - the SPCA still gets outside funding, meaning the County can still save money by reducing their funds.
 
"I don’t know about other people not getting paid. I think people who work at the shelters should get paid, but apparently Linda was the only director who was paid, out of the all of the shelters."
 
It may be that Linda is the only person with no other outside support from a working spouse or income from other sources; it may be that she needed a salary just to live in the area and run the shelter.  Take a look at the SPCA's salaries.  No, the Director doesn't take money, but salaries consume a total almost equating the total yearly amount of county funds -- and more than the County was willing to pay SUFA to run two shelters.  One shelter, less territory, how many people get paid to do what?  It would be nice to know.
 
I certainly would question SPCA spending money for the maintenance of the Key West Dog Park?  It's in Key West, so shouldn't the City of Key West pay for it and not the County?  Oh, wait - is it really county money or donated funds?  If the county were auditing the SPCA in the same fashion as they did SUFA, SPCA would be in deep doodoo.

The link is for the SPCA 2008 tax docs where everything is spelled out: http://dynamodata.fdncenter.org/990_pdf_
archive/650/650891564/650891564_200812_990.pdf

The pictures of the different roads are fantastic. Can you do a redo all at the same time and is there anyway to identify the different roads?

I’m here to say I enjoy your website!  I’m looking forward to joining in the postings fun.  Have a great vacation.

The next meeting of our computer club is coming up this Saturday, September 11, 10 am at the senior center. Bulletin Board

[Fonts] Oh well. You can make some of the people happy some of the time …

The Fourmile Canyon, Colorado Fire continued to burn west of Boulder, Colo., in this image taken on Sept. 7, 2010, casting a long line of smoke to the east that was visible from NASA's Aqua satellite in its orbit around the Earth.

MODIS, the Moderate Resolution Imaging Spectroradiometer, on NASA’s Aqua satellite captured this natural-color image of the fire at 2:40 p.m. local time (20:40 UTC) on Sept. 7. The red outline corresponds with the unusually high surface temperatures associated with an active fire. The thick smoke plume flows eastward. Over the plains northeast of Denver, the smoke plume casts a shadow to the north.

By early morning on Sept. 8, thousands of people had abandoned their homes while the battle against the blaze continued.

[High Definition] The DirecTV guys that everyone loves so much don't tell you that the HD channels cost you money whereas Dish Network HD channels are free.

To all NFL fans that have Comcast, call and complain because the NFL red zone will not be in HD.

[To A.A. basher]  Speaking of independent thought, that’s exactly what I have been trying to get you to explain to us.  We are all aware of the fact that you don't approve of A.A. You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but why won't you explain to us how your program is better? It is easy to ridicule another man’s methods, but you would certainly think that the one doing the ridiculing would have another method that he feels is better. How can one ever validate your posts if you only criticize?  Let us see your work on the subject. Why do you ignore this simple request?

[Pennsylvania] The smiley :) was first used in 1980 by computer
scientists at Carnegie Mellon University.

[Font Size]  If you have Internet Explorer and want your font size bigger when reading the CT, just click on the little magnifying glass in the bottom right and increase the size to X percent.  There is also a little down arrow and you can select the percent (50% to 400% or custom sizes). 

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

[Woman like flamboyant dancers] Man, am I glad to hear this because I think I dance like an ostrich on speed. Study: Flamboyant male dancing attracts women best (AP)

I figured the AA Basher would have run out of steam by now. I find him to be unbalanced in his determination to keep people drunk.

Just over seventy years ago in the Midwest.

[Family moving from upstate New York]  You can leave your snow shovel, blower and anything related to it behind. The same goes for clothing with one exception. Go to your nearest drug store and buy some space bags. Place one set of winter clothing inside and  seal it. This way you are prepared for when the thermometer drops to a bone chilling 65º F. If you should have a small elec. space heater bring it so you can avoid the rush to acquire one when the temperature drops below 70. Welcome to the Keys.

[Sloan] Linda Gottwald and SUFA

I said last night [at the County Commission meeting], and wrote today, that you told me you did not tell the county commissioners you were moving to Michigan and I got onto you about that and you told me you didn’t handle that well.
 
I said last night, and wrote today, that you are in Michigan. Some people there last night spoke as if you might or might not be there – like they weren’t sure where you are.
 
The commissioners all nodded in agreement when I said if I was a commissioner, I would have wanted to deal with the person who was going to be there running SUFA. And they nodded when I said I would have reduced what SUFA was to get from the County, if I had known SUFA was making a profit, which you told me it was.
 
I still think you are getting bad advice, and not turning over all records requested (according to Danny Kollage last night) was a very big mistake. It may turn out, and I hope it does, there was no impropriety, but it looks bad, not turning over all of the requested records.
 
The County is not entitled, which your lawyers told you, to any contributions made to SUFA from other sources. I told the commissioners this last night.
 
You seem to have overlooked that I was a bit rough on the County, also.
 
More and more I am moving toward the view that the County ought to give serious consideration to getting out of funding not-for-profits and let for-profits come in and pick up the slack, or let the services the county cannot provide on its own go. In down economic times like these, the county has to cut back just like for-profits have to cut back. We can’t keep raising ad valorem taxes to make ends meet, which is what the rest of last night’s meeting mostly was about.

Link to GoodMorningFloridaKeys.com

The Yes on 4 campaign today released its latest video, highlighting Florida's unfortunate distinction as having more public corruption cases than any other state in the nation, according to a Department of Justice study. It asks Florida voters the important question: can we trust major development decisions solely to our politicians, or do voters need a say in the comprehensive land-use planning process? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bWfuPZ46WM

[AA Basher] If we admitted we were powerless over alcohol we would all be drunk today. If you are not drinking today then you are not powerless. To preach the AA propaganda of being powerless over alcohol sets alcohol dependant people up to relapse. Sitting in the rooms night after night and being told you are powerless is not good therapy. AA is not therapy or a cure for a disease that is not a disease. AA is about a religious conversion. AA preaches that “religion-mania is the cure for dipsomania”. That is the fundamental assumption of the big book. The irony of using intoxication by religion to treat intoxication by alcohol is …

The new video from Pat Condell briefly mentions the irony of AA using intoxication by religion to treat intoxication by alcohol. It is just a casual aside mentioned like it is an undisputed self-evident fact that it is religion and foolish. His videos are hilarious but aggressively anti-theistic and may be offensive to some so if you are religious you may want to skip this. If you are atheist and/or enjoy biting sarcasm you may not want to miss it. Most of his comments on religion and the bible apply equally well to AA and its manifesto. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lecm30iDHW4

OIL SPILL

"The offshore surface convergence habitats used by these young, oceanic-stage sea turtles has improved considerably," said NOAA Fisheries National Sea Turtle Coordinator Barbara Schroeder. "We haven't discovered any turtles that require veterinary care and rehabilitation since early August, so we are implementing the next phase of our turtle response activities while continuing the efforts of the Sea Turtle Stranding and Salvage Network."

NATIONAL POLITICS

[Political Joke] A woman from Los Angeles, CA. who was a tree hugger, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland, near Colville, WA. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to Mt. Carmel ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but they turned me down."

To burn or not to burn? That is the question.

[Quran Burning] US fundamentalist pastor Terry Jones, who wants to burn copies of the Koran on Sept. 11, ran a church in the western German city of Cologne until last year when members of the congregation expelled him. Former members have spoken of his hate-filled sermons and insistence on "blind obedience." 

Transaction Tax is a hoax, but ignorant people keep perpetuating that nonsense anyway. It is amazing, indeed, what you could learn if you keep your eyes and ears open, but instead you choose to stick your head way up your arse. http://factcheck.org/2010/09/1-transaction-tax/

The President's speech was, at best, terrible!  He and his staff know nothing about business, big or small. Everything he spoke about rebuilding railroads, airports, highways would take years just to get the permits. We need jobs now. No good businessman would put a penny in this uncertain business environment. Our present leader and his staff are just not qualified.  Stay mad!

Ouch!

[Transaction Tax] The White House has said it is not interested in imposing a transaction tax on financial institutions. That's according to Factcheck.org   Of course don't let reality get in the way of your radical opinions about the current occupant of the White House. That would be the Muslim who was born on the Moon, correct? 

[Iman Ali was at the controls of one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center] I live near Houston and that was on our local TV news.  Here’s the truth.
1. Imam Ali lived a few hundred years ago and had nothing to do with 9/11. 

2. It's one of those movable holidays, like our Easter, and coincidentally it landed on 9/11 that year. 

3. The store owner knocked himself out apologizing for the misunderstanding.

[Polls] I guess I shouldn’t be surprised we have not heard the recent Gallup poll figures. Remember last week when someone was crowing about the republicans having a 10 point lead in a generic poll and how he was already measuring drapes for the republicans’ new offices. The presidents approval rating according to the Gallup poll is a dead even heat.

I guess it’s time to get down from the ivory ladder and relook. The President has brought his numbers up to a 46% approval rating. All you have to do is look around you and listen to the scattered nuttiness being put out by the Right to understand that Americans are starting to see them as desperate. We still have a ways to go and a lot of work ahead and I would like to encourage all democrats to be sure and vote.

It may have been fun to crow when you have a lead, but I wouldn’t be painting the offices and looking for carpet just yet.

TV commercial for Burn a Koran Day. WARNING this will, no doubt, piss off someone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdtFk_V6A4M

[Muslim: To the post regarding the store being closed on 9/11] Please check your facts after you read those emails. www.google.com is the first step. I do not mean to be harsh, but posting false information doesn't help anyone but you. To start, check Snopes for your story and then check wiki for your list of terrorists. Once you’re on wiki hit that control F button and type in that name and let me know what you find.  Doing these simple steps instead of wondering about what peoples’ reactions would be by putting Hitler’s birthday on that sign might have saved you from that last post there.

[From the Right] Yesterday’s item about the joys of unions is worth comment. Just for today, let’s talk about law enforcement only. The sole reason for the existence of any union is to give the employee an advantage over the employer. It is the role of the union to demand more money, better working conditions, and minimal or no supervision of union employees. When the union gains sufficient power, and/or a bigger slice of profit or tax dollars. The union will engage in “job actions” until they get their way in the entire spectrum of management decisions. In many agencies, there is a union imposed firewall between supervisory and line officers which precludes supervisors from directly supervising their subordinates. I personally have seen criminals escape prosecution because union officers refused to honor subpoenas commanding them to testify. They often refused by saying that  the circumstances of their testimony might “break contract” rules. I personally know of at least one Judicial Circuit which has more than a million population, wherein the elected public officials entered into agreements with law enforcement unions so that the union officers would could only be required to testify at specific times and in specific circumstances that were in keeping with wishes of the union. Essentially the rights of the community, the prosecution, and even the crooks were subordinated to union mandate. In short, union mandate trumped the law. If you can, forget about the mind breaking “wrongness” of this, just remember that the costs to taxpayers is staggering. Union rules have made certain that many law enforcement agencies have been forced to retain sub standard employees because union allegiance supersedes the age old concept and ethics of public service. Law Enforcement management is often no longer able to set staffing levels or standards based on public need, but rather they must hew to union rules.

The union involvement in any law enforcement agency adds at least 10-15% to the base cost of operation of that agency. If you believe that unions should set basic public policy and specific policing policy, then the unions are for you.  If you believe that police officers should be loyal and faithful to their union over and above their fealty for the public that have sworn to serve, then the union is for you. If you’re willing to increase your taxes so as to be able to spend additional millions to pay the added costs of unionization of police, then the union is for you. If you’re willing to see crooks go free so that union rules are not broken, and so that union police officers are not inconvenienced,  then the union is for you. This professional cop has had the privilege to serve on both side of the management line. I’ve served as a road patrolman, detective, and in a stew pot of other assignments. I retired as a Chief.  I’ve personally seen the havoc that unions inflict on professional policing. The wreckage of GM is stark testament to the legacy of unions, that same legacy now exists in law enforcement agencies. The only reason that law enforcement has not been forced into bankruptcy is that you and I will continue to pay more and more in taxes to keep the unions afloat.  If you want to see better, more professional law enforcement at less cost, then give the unions the boot. There is plenty more to say about teachers and our educational system. Rest assured that a unionized law enforcement first responder would not be my first choice, nor would my first choice for a teacher for my children be a union teacher. The vital societal roles that these professionals fill are far too important to trust to the underlying philosophy of unionization. I’m confident that readers who are union faithful will have their undies in a serious wad by now, but my points are simple. Law enforcement is a proud profession. Many of us see our employment not as a job, but rather as a calling. Unions blunt that pride. Unionization of law enforcement make is easier for substandard cops to retain their jobs and more difficult for true professionals to do their job with pride.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu

Friday September 10, 2010

Wednesday September 8, 2010

The Coconut Telegraph will be closed for vacation for two weeks starting Thursday, September 16 and will re-open Friday, October 1.

The last day for submissions will be Wednesday September 15. Posts received by 6am September 15^th will be published. All submissions received after that will be deleted because there is no way to catch up considering the volume of submissions we receive.

We will begin accepting emails on September 30^th for publication on our first day back from vacation, October 1.

We hope you will still visit BigPineKey.com and look at some of our other offerings.

This might help somebody deal with MRSA and find a doctor too. http://www.bing.com/search?q=MRSA&src=IE-SearchBox&FORM=IE8SRC

[“I saw four manatees hanging out on the bench drinking Budweiser”]  Those weren't manatees, they were New Jersey women. They came down to the Keys a little earlier than usual. It looks like it could be a good season for the bars.

I tried the 'special' incense and enjoyed it.  It has a great aroma and a nice buzz.  ~Marathon 

Medical marijuana’s first commercial airs on California TV. The commercial never mentions marijuana or shows the plant.  In November Californians will vote on whether to make their state the 1st to legalize marijuana for recreational use.  Medical Marijuana: First Commercial Airs in California - ABC News

A cat in Harrisburg has a deer friend that visits every morning. There is nothing more wonderful than animals.  The owner finally took a picture.

[Moving to BPK] DRN moving and storage (877- 344- 6683)  is a  long-time local business and has great service and has both do it yourself and company trucks.  Welcome!

About MRSA.   Many live-aboard boaters in Key West were getting it several years ago, mainly in the summer months.   We were washing ourselves with Hibeclense, scrubbing away at our skin every day, washing all surfaces with bleach.  We practiced frequent hand-washing - religiously - but still some of us were getting repeated staph infections.   In healthy individuals, with a topical staph infection (causing a boil in an area of the body containing mostly muscle or fat) no medical intervention was necessary.  A boil forms getting bigger and more painful, eventually erupts bringing relief from the pain, and then the open wound heals.  The entire process takes about two weeks or so.   Raw honey in the open wound will help to heal it more quickly.   Sometimes however, the MRSA gets into people with immunity issues or gets into parts of the body where it can thrive and wreak serious havoc.  

My husband got it really bad back a few years ago on his hand (a huge boil in the crevices of his hand after cutting himself while working underwater offshore).  He had to be hospitalized for nine days and underwent very intricate surgical intervention.  (He would have lost his hand had it gone any further.)   He went to a hospital in Guadeloupe (where you don't have to sell your house in order to afford medical treatment - the flight cost him about $600 round trip) and he came back in very good shape using an antibiotic which is approved in France but not in the US.   Unfortunately, he felt another boil coming up about a year later under his armpit.   He tried antibiotics for over a month but still felt the boil building although it never actually got to the point of becoming "ripe", but it did not go away either.  

Fearing the effects of continued use of antibiotics, I researched what others were doing and found that in Los Angeles there had been huge epidemics of MRSA and that many people were reporting great success using the spice Turmeric (when used early on in the formation of the boil prior to the boil becoming too well formed).   My husband used the Turmeric (drink mixed with warm water or milk) and was 100% symptom free in just a few days.   He has since had staph boils coming on and has used the turmeric to basically kill it within a day or so, thus avoiding all the pain associated with the growth of the boil to the oozing puss filled crevice left in its wake.   The soon to be full blown boil simply retreated and he was 100% rid of all symptoms within a few days.     He has not had any problems for several years now.  We have several boater friends who suffered multiple episodes of MRSA report that the formation of boils quickly subsided after ingesting Turmeric.   Here's a link to some info on Turmeric and staph:  http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/boils.html

About cuts.   We found a definite correlation between cuts from boat props and fishing gear and subsequent staph infections. The original wound was not getting infected - the infection appeared a few days to a week later, after the wound was fully healed, an inch or two from the wound site. Many people had had no cut or scrape prior to the infection; it appeared that the staph had simply gotten into the opening of a hair follicle. 

 It’s important to use this remedy in the early stages.   MRSA Staph infections can be no big deal, but they can also be very serious and can ultimately cause loss of limb and even death.  Staph bacteria does spread, so keep the boil/wound area covered when you leave home so as not to spread the bacteria throughout the community.

Twice, I have picked up what I thought were baggies of hashish that were dropped in the gutter. But all they were was dog poop.

To all that was interested about the Band Reach and where they are playing. They will be at Mangrove Mamas for the Mangrove Mamas Big Summer Bash on Saturday night the 17th of Sept. I think they start at around 6 or 6-30.

[Rob’s Island Grill]  Great, now the bank is in the food and booze business. Let me get this straight. One of the banks that receive their money from Big Pine restaurants and bars will be in competition with us. The banks will take the interest from our accounts that we support them with and use that money to go into business against us. Great just great.

 Business is so tuff that Rob’s can't cut it and the bank with its bottomless checkbook will try to put us out of business. What will happen is that Rob’s, Now Tom's will do just enough business to hurt all of us, but not enough to make it work. Not to worry, now Tom's is too big to fail—they’ve got the bank backing them.

“Good quality food at mangrove mama's” Are you a part timer? or on drugs? That is the worst food on the islands.  I even went back two years after they gave me food poisoning, sat at the bar looking at the only reason to be there (beautiful tall blonde bartender), watching people leave for the lack of service, watching people leave half their food, and glancing at my burnt hamburger, which I figured they could not screw up, and I left again.  That was the third time I walked out of there.  Stupid me, but never again.  ~joln99@bellsouth.net

Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right, and the other is the husband.

Never mind ugly US1 through Big Pine Key. Have you seen the people!

I think the MRSA infection rate here in the Keys most likely is higher than in most other parts of the country. And living in a sub tropical climate with all the high heat and humidity encourages bacterial growth. Some of the waters surrounding this island chain are contaminated with fecal bacteria, along with hosts of other bacteria capable of causing infection. The fecal contamination, I believe, is more likely to be found close to the more populated islands, particularly Key West, in and around canal systems all over the islands and any waters that are subject to runoff. We are at or below sea level, and the over development of land contributes to the proliferation of bacteria in local waters.  Let me explain how I see it.

Say you have a home, complete with septic system. All those toilet flushes go through the system, which I believe is supposed to allow the waste to percolate through the ground and be filtered by the time it goes back into circulation. Now take all the multi level condos, resorts, and basically, anywhere there are facilities that house or employ what can become hundreds of people, and then think of all the flushing toilets in an area that cannot possibly support all the human waste that is produced. I don't care what the engineers say. 

Fecal contamination (in which case the offending organism would be e.coli - enterococcus), or MRSA (staphlococcus). They are two different entities, and both exist in the Keys and everywhere else in the world. E.coli does not cause MRSA and vice-versa.

Brian the bartender at the Wharf is great. The other bartenders stink. The food is overpriced. Get your 6-pack of beer across the street. Charles, the manager, is a complete dummy. Waitresses are horrible. The Wharf isn't going to make it. ~tanyagarcia90@yahoo.com

My real estate bill is going up 20% on a house worth 1/3 of its appraised value from a few years ago. The school is losing enrollment  and teachers a being laid off. Let’s cut the county supervisor’s salaries by half until the jobs come back.

[Antisocial personality disorder] Man, that describes my ex to a T. I knew she was wacko and now I know the official name for it.

[How Big Pine Key looks] We have had a number of fantastic vacations there and through my eyes it will always be beautiful!

[Nudity] Sloan wrote about people being phobic about nudity. Where I used to live, we had a nude beach that I and many people I knew frequented. Yes, we were nude, but that doesn't mean we tolerated any sexual behavior on the beach. We even printed up "beach etiquette" cards to offer to newbies, especially if they thought that nude meant sex. Sloan sounds really pissed at the world. Like no one's listening.  Perhaps it's his delivery.

[Heavy Seas--Very Heavy Seas] I can see some law suits happening. That’s a rough way to clear a room. Ride that piano, yeah! YouTube - Pacific Sun Cruise liner in very heavy seas

I know who to vote for. I just choose whoever it is Sloan dislikes which makes my political decisions so easy. I also like reading about what a disaster his existence is as it makes me feel so much better about my own. Perhaps he was put here merely to serve as an example of what not to do with a life. I never click on his link, that much Sloanosity I couldn't take.

[Coconut Telegraph closed for vacation for two weeks]  Good thing you gave us a little warning!  Brace for withdrawal symptoms.  Some people are going to have so much to vent by the time you get back they may explode. 

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

The grounds of Oklahoma's state capital are covered by operating oil wells.

[Privacy Abuse] National Health Service Direct workers created logbooks mocking worried callers' "Funny Inquiries". There were about 30 case histories posted for staff to take the mickey out of. What's worse is the printouts contained medical numbers of callers so they could be identified. NHS Direct staff ridicule callers | The Sun |Woman|Health|Health

Keen plane spotter Bernardo Malfitano took this shot of a rainbow effect pouring off the back of an F-22 at an air show in Miramar, California. The aeronautical engineer from Seattle works for Boeing, and he said: "This is an F-22 at Miramar at the top of a loop. He is pulling so many Gs, the low pressure air over the fuselage that is sucking the plane into the loop gets cold enough for the water vapor to condense. The angle is just right for sunlight to undergo total internal refraction and make rainbow colors around the plane"

I’ll wager conspiracy theorists will say it’s psychedelic chemicals being dropped on the unsuspecting public. I feel woosey.

I like Sloan's posts. I never knew about the association between his posts and his own site, but that doesn't take away from the comments.  It's entertaining. If his delivery were a little more lucid and he didn't speak about his angels (we all have good spirits/energy/angels but we don't all talk about them) I'd vote for him.

Thanks for the info on MRSA.  You're right, a lot of divers have it.

[Tomato School] University of Florida UFAS Extension Continuing Education Solutions has online courses available such as Landscape Maintenance, Tomato School, Food Packaging and more. https://eces.ifas.ufl.edu/elearning/

Redhead Day. Redhead Day 2010 >> TotallyCoolPix

000[Sloan] I don’t remember Deer Ed ever going on vacation before. Maybe he did and Ageheizmer’s has set in. No matter, there is gonna be a serious great giant sucking withdrawal sound around Big Pine Key and elsewhere, as the gossips and whiners have to seek out something, some other kind of something to suck on and keep them from shaking all apart. I suppose they can spend quality time on the Sheriff’s website page that features new arrivals in the Stock Island Hilton each day. That’s already the most widely visited web page in the Florida Keys, the mug shot and book ‘em page of the Sheriff’s website. Then next most visited days of our lives page is the Coconut Telegraph, which has readers all over the whole wide world, as well as the local hicks and professors and, ahem, lunatics.
 
Now, if that crowd wants to keep up with this lunatic’s driveling, all they have to do is go to goodmorningfloridakeys.com each day. If there are two posts on a day, the gmfk.com post there will provide a hyperlink over to goodmorningkeywest.com. Vice-versa, that site will provide a hyperlink back to gmfk.com, if there are two posts for that day. I have so many readers who hate my guts so bad that they just can’t stop reading the drivel I put out, I’d hate to see them suffer unnecessarily horrible just because they aren’t getting to shoot up their daily hate Sloan juices on the Coconut Telegraph. So I’ll do my gol-darndest to keep them extra special riled up and the Watchers sufficiently entertained while our deerly-beloved Ed is off having a nice time somewhere, not giving a shit about any of us — who can blame him?
 
Meanwhile, yet another pilgrim wandered by on yesterday’s Coconut Telegraph.

"If Sloan were really committed to winning this BOCC race, he would be writing about substantive issues (budget, salary increases, public safety, development, the county’s future); the stuff of value to the voters, the people over whom and for whom he will be making decisions.  It’s a pretty awesome responsibility, having power like that."
 
I wonder if this writer ever read anything I wrote, or ever attended a candidate forum?
 
There is an Independent District 4 county commission candidate, who is tearing up the county budget. Don Vasil tore up the city budget when he was a City Councilman in Marathon. He tore Marathon’s budget up so well that he didn’t get reelected to the City Council. So don’t vote for him for county commissioner. Vote for David Rice, who loves to do business on the side with the County and the Sheriff, using no-bid contracts. That’s why I backed Mario DiGennaro in the Republican primary, despite his heavy baggage from his first two years on the County Commission.
 

The rest ... GoodMorningFloridaKeys.com

Moose Benefit at the Big Pine Moose Lodge (where else?) Saturday, October 9 from 1 pm to 6 pm.

Moose motor home was lost to a fire.  He lost everything. He was in New York having eye surgery when he found out about the fire.  He has done several benefits for us, and every where else in town.  If you had a benefit, Moose would be there. He is awesome to hear sing and play. He has helped so many people in town and we want to pay him back.  He is back in the Keys now and he needs a new home. 

I need everyone's help. You know how it is putting together a benefit, especially in less than a month and this is for Moose.  If any bands or anyone has the time to donate or something to auction please contact me. Bulletin Board

[Vacation] Oh Ed, say it isn't so.  You haven't even left for vacation and I'm jonesing already.

[Bear Bath] People living in Colorado Springs wondered why their water barrel was almost empty.  They set up a camera and caught a bear bathing. Big Al came for his weekly bath again. He really looks like he enjoys the experience, but he needs a bigger tub.

[The person who said, nothing's impossible has obviously never seen me do nothing] Sure they have, but did you know that death is the only guarantee? Could it possibly be that you're already on ice?

[Hic!] Will somebody get back in the drink and mix me a boat?

You tell 'em, Sloan!  I do believe I might vote for you.

How Monroe County steals land. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSIbTm0kK3I&feature=channel

I’d vote for Neugent if he didn’t support bribery and influence peddling and he wasn’t so smug towards the voters.  That’s what happens when people are in office for too long. That’s why term limits are so important.

The anti-bribery ordinance is one of the most important pieces of legislation the County Commission has before it. You have to ask yourself why anyone would be against it.  ~Usa33043@hotmail.com

OIL SPILL

[BP Spill] White House says oil has gone, but the Gulf's fishermen are not so sure.

BP Spill: WH says Oil Has Gone, but Gulf's Fishermen are Not So Sure | CommonDreams.org

BP's new slogan: Fish oil is good for you.

BP stands for Be Patient, Mother Nature will fix all bad things in time.

NATIONAL POLITICS 

[The Holy Qur’an] Americans not only have terrorists to deal with, but we also have enemies within too. Gainesville's so called pastor, Terry Jones, who wants to hold a Quran burning event this Saturday, as a reminder of 9/11, is one of them. Glen Beck, Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh, and Michelle Bachman are just a few of the others. Republicans all.

The problem is they give the moderate, reasonable Republicans a bad name. that’s exactly what the terrorists did to moderate, reasonable Muslims. This whack job, "Pastor" is going to start a you-know-what-storm and I fear Americans are going to be hurt. Maybe his "God" will change his mind. It seems General Petraeus isn't having much luck.

[White is Might] The problem with Obama is the fear of White Americans that they are losing their majority. The demographics of our country are changing faster than Whites can accept.

[Quran Burning] My God is better than your god.

[Numbers Game] Two different posters disagreed with facts with completely different numbers concerning Palin’s disapproval ratings, yet they both went to the exact same website. Go figure.

One said her approval rating was over 71%. I'm assuming they missed the part about that figure being from the republicans only. The other poster said he read that exact same poll and that her and Obama were tied at 46%. It seems that Republicans see what they want to believe.

Both of them had numbers that dwarfed Bush’s approval rating his last year in office. It’s almost hard to get approval ratings all the  way down into the lower 20s, but Bush did put in the work to deserve those ratings. The different crowd number for Beck’s rally and Bachmann’s number of over a million is insanity. Numbers seem to be the soup de jour of the republican mindset these days. Every time I see republicans making these wild accusations I can only think of One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.

The president’s proposed jobs bill sounds a lot like his last jobs bill. In an era where roads are built by mainly by big machines operated by union members (what president does the union have in its’ pocket?) help the everyday, out of work, man and woman very little. There may be a few woman holding signs, but the majority of the few shovel jobs are Hispanic. His plan failed last time for these reasons and it will fail this time. For the amount of money being spent, everyone’s debts (except for the rich, of course) could be paid off. Imagine how the economy would boom if every mortgage was paid off. People could even buy those $41,000 built-in-Mexico-in-a-brand-new-plant Chevy Volt. Who needs a heater or an air conditioner in their $41,000 car anyway?

[Quran Burning] This makes him and his followers no better than who he is protesting against. Organized religion should be done away with. It’s hogwash and it causes more wars than anything else. Church rebuffs military concerns on Quran burning (AP)

[From the Right] Team  Obama has just floated a proposal to sliver certain business taxes. He’s doing this as a huge smokescreen to give him cover for yet another round of bailouts and stimulus. This time they figure to spend more than additional $50 Billion dollars. Need I say he plans to add yet more to our debt by throwing even more dollars on programs that have repeatedly been proven to be failures? We’ve got to cut spending…cut spending! They say that their camouflage cuts, that are little more than slivers, will be narrow but that they are sure to increase employment. The tax cut tune is very old, and in normal circumstances it has been proven to be true. But that is not what Team Obama intends to do. They intend to increase spending and to give only the most tiny and limited cuts. The cuts they propose will be in place for only about a year. This plan won’t work. It is only the latest union bailout.  This latest Obamantion is, is, well, I guess duplicitous is the best adjective that I can think of.  Look folks we know for rock solid certain that there are precious few things that Mr. Obama is really committed to. Near the top of that short list is redistribution of wealth. Mr. Obama despises any notion or even mention of tax reduction. He has told us repeatedly that he is totally convinced that tax cuts will not help the economy. Mr. Obama’s personal bedrock conviction is “if it moves, tax it.” Chapter one of Obama Catechism is redistribution of wealth. He is a true believer because taxing strips the governed of power. But only just now he wants all of America to believe that the clouds have parted, the fiscal fog that has engulfed him has lifted. Just weeks before what is shaping up to be a catastrophic election for Democrats, Mr. Obama has come upon a burning bush. He has had a “Come to Jesus” moment! He has suddenly had a “deathbed” conversion to the wonders of Capitalism. We are told to believe that for Mr. Obama, God himself (herself) has spoken: “lower taxes will deliver a prosperous economy and create jobs.” Just now Team Obama has told us that they are prepared to “grant” tax cuts to some, the chosen few. But, but only if huge new stimulus funding and bailouts are a part of it. Here’s the way Mr. Obama works. We know that there will be much push back against his nebulous plan because we know that the tax cuts will be miniscule and certain to be tied to Socialist anchors that will not permit the ship of state to return to the channels of prosperity. When the push back occurs, Team Obama will indignantly scream that his opponents are playing politics. It all boils down to this. Conservative folks have been trying for at least 4 years to have massive tax reform (cuts) as a vehicle to return our nation to the prosperity of the pre Democrat congress. Those attempts have been spat upon by Democrats and seem to only have spurred them on to even more federal spending. It is manifestly evident; it is without doubt that our economy has fallen into ruin under the last four years of Democrat control. If Mr. Obama really wants to cure the economy he’ll ditch his failed stimulus/bailout/raise taxes schemes and press for real tax cuts that dramatically reform our tax structure so that business can grow. Are you aware that the USA has the second highest corporation taxation in the world? Cutting it will actually incentivize fiscal growth and employment. We can’t permit Team Obama its latest fiscal perfidy.    

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu

Wednesday September 8, 2010

Tuesday September 7, 2010

The Coconut Telegraph will be closed for vacation for two weeks starting Thursday, September 16 and will re-open Friday, October 1.

The last day for submissions will be Wednesday September 15. Posts received by 6am September 15^th will be published. All submissions received after that will be deleted because there is no way to catch up considering the volume of submissions we receive.

We will begin accepting emails on September 30^th for publication on our first day back from vacation, October 1.

We hope you will still visit BigPineKey.com and look at some of our other offerings.

[Sloan] To the crybabies who just can't seem to stop reading my drivel and complaining to Deer Ed about it . . .
 
Hell, Ed, you left out that I actually pay you US America-the-Beautiful-In-God-We-Trust-patriotic-wampum to post daily to the CT, an arrangement you yourself suggested in 2007, as I recall, after you built goodmorningkeywest.com for me and said my posting “teasers” with goodmoringkeywest.com hyperlinks to the CT would bring more readers to my website. 

After you set up goodmorningfloridakeys.com several months later, we used the same “teaser” system of bringing readers to that website. Before all of that, you were encouraging me to send my drivel to the CT and you set up a Sloan’s Archive, or something like that, where all of the Sloan drivel in that age was contained. That was when I was running against George Neugent in 2006. As I recall, Steve Estes at the News-Barometer told me to contact you, but it was someone at Seahorse Trailer Park who told me to read and send my drivel to the CT.
 
What really causes me to split my sides laughing is people hate what I write, and apparently hate me, and yet they read it anyway. In the REALTY where I now live, that means only one thing: Their souls want them to read the drivel that comes out of Sloan, because their souls like it, even if they don’t. Ain’t that a howl? And ain’t the anal-retentive Puritan social views of some of your readers a howl? I bet no doctor or nurse would have had a problem with my description of the MRSA abscesses I suffered and where they were located on my carcass and how they were dealt with medically. I bet the same holy rollers don’t watch anything but G-rated Disneynesque movies, and God help them if they ever went to a nude beach. They would drop straight dead and go straight to hell and burn there forever.
 
Stupid, ignorant crybabies. If you don’t like the Sloan movies running on the CT, don’t f**king watch them! And vote for George Neugent. He wants, I sure as hell don’t, your votes. No way you would be able to deal with the protoscopic examination I would do of the county government if I was a county commissioner. And no way would I want to hear your howls of, “Sloan isn’t being fair, we always did things this way, you can’t treat my friends and relatives this way – waaaaa!” Vote for George. The mere thought of County Commissioner Kim Wigington and State Attorney Dennis Ward getting the County Commission to pass real county ethics laws with real teeth makes George’s blood boil. You wouldn’t like what I would do to Growth Management and Code Enforcement, either. Or to developers. Or to FEMA. Or to Ocean Reef Club. Vote for George. He’s your socially acceptable candidate. 

More to the point, toddlers. I wrote about my experience with MRSA infections because a woman put up a desperate plea for her husband on the CT. She and her husband already knew the terror of MRSA infection, and they wanted to know more about it and how to treat it. MRSA infections are pandemic in the Keys. Not MRSA the bacteria, which thrives in this subtropical environment, but MRSA infections. Since I had been invited into the conversation by the man’s wife, I thought it might be a good idea to demonstrate just how truly horrible a MRSA infection can be, and what can be done for it. I wrote as someone who knew the subject matter. As someone who knew the terror. As someone who knew doctors throughout the Keys are trying to treat it, and not all that well.
 
This isn’t something the Tourist Development Council, or the lodging associations, or the Chambers of Commerce want to get on the tourist channels. The powers that be down here in the Keys don’t want people to know that my surgeon, after carving the abscesses out of me, told me I could do anything I wanted to do but swim in the ocean. He told me that because he knew the ocean down here is infected with fecal bacteria as often as not. He also knew that people who cut themselves on coral down here often end up with MRSA infections. I don’t suppose anyone down here wants to know how many people come to the Keys on vacation, then go home and only then experience a MRSA infection outbreak, and they don’t even know where they picked it up. Any nick, scrape or cut down here should be treated immediately with hydrogen peroxide, then with a strong antibiotic ointment. The Tourist Development Council, the lodging industry and the Chambers of Commerce should tell every visitor this.

The rest ... GoodMorningFloridaKeys.com

[Tipping on a Charter boat]  To the person inquiring about tipping, thank you for asking.  It is customary to tip on a charter boat whether there is a mate or not.  Tips are however, reserved for exceptional service.  It is a way of saying thank you for exceptional service.  If you are out with a charter and do not feel that your service has been exceptional then, by all means, neither should your tip. You know when the crew keeps your baits fresh keeps trying new spots if the one you are on is slow or spends a little more time then you paid for. If there is no mate and only a captain then he or she is working twice as hard.  If your needs are being ignored or if they just don't seem to try, then the tip should reflect that.  The tip should be much the same percentage as for food.  Fifteen to twenty percent is normal. 

On another note, if you are out on a boat and you feel that the captain or crew did not deserve a tip, please tell them why you are with holding the tip.  The captain deserves the opportunity to correct the crews’ actions, or his own for that matter. 

A light or empty fish box is not a reason not to tip.  It is fishing after all.  You’ll know if the captain tried everything that he could to find fish willing to bite, or if he just kind of went through the motions. 

If your budgetary constraints are such that you just can’t afford to take the charter and to tip, let the Captain know; most will just say that they understand and welcome you aboard.  It is also better to book your trip directly with the boat than to use a booking service.  The percentage that is paid to the agency will more than make up the difference for the tip.     

If you can’t enjoy the beauty of Marathon and Big Pine Key may I suggest you take the alternate route?

[Fisherman’s Hospital] Sunday I brought my wife Barbara (many may know her from Winn Dixie courtesy counter fame) back from having a rather severe surgery Friday morning and I have to tell everyone about the staff at the hospital.

They are great! From day one, I never even saw a frown upon anyone's face nor did I have even a moment of hesitation from any of their staff.

A very special thanks to Barb, Dyna, Arlene, Bobbi, Irma and Judy (if I have left anyone out, I apologize for the error). All of you are truly angel's of your profession and are a credit to the hospital at which you work.

[Tipping] I just returned from having breakfast at IHOP in Key West. I left  no tip because the waitress was not friendly (not even a smile or a good morning)  and we were given lousy service. The waitress forgot about us. We got no refills on our drinks. There were 4 of us. 2 of us got our food and then had to wait 15 minutes for the other 2 to get their food. By that time the people who got their food first had cold food. When we asked for refills on our drinks the waitress acted like we had asked for her kidneys. We then asked for our check and got the heck out and will not be returning if we can help it. 

When are restaurant owners going to realize that it takes a certain kind of person to wait on people? You just can't give the job to your relatives and  friends because they need to pay their rent. We are locals, the ones that keep businesses open when the tourists leave.

There are extreme high tides today. It’s a great day to go exploring the mangroves and the back country.

Come on, you are not Sloan's brother.  He's never mentioned you in his posts as his brother. I know both your last names and they are not even close. (Ed: We had different parents.)

Tom, the former owner of Mangrove Mamas is going to be running Rob’s Island Grill. The bank foreclosed on the owner of Rob's and hired Tom to keep it open. They should be ready in about two weeks. I’m looking forward to the good quality food Tom was famous for at Mangroves.

[Seven Dollar Draft Beer] Be careful when ordering at the Wharf restaurant. My wife and I stopped in for a beer and a fish sandwich, looked over the menu and decided on the Fried Oyster Po Boy for $15.95. A bit pricey, but I was willing to try it. The waitress comes over and I ask what beer they have on tap and which is the better deal, draft or bottle? She recommended a draft that I never heard of, but was willing to give it a try. She then took our food order and asked if we wanted the choice of chips, coleslaw or sweet potato fries. I ordered the sweets and she left with our order. I looked at the menu again and noticed that the sweet potato fries were an extra $4.25 and not included as a choice with my order. I then looked at the beverage menu and saw bottle beer for $3.50 but the draft she recommended was $7.00! That would come out to $54.40 plus tip for two sandwiches. I called her back right away and canceled the order.

For that price I can have a meal in a Key West restaurant. I wonder if they train there employees to be deceptive to increase the tab. If so, how will they ever get repeat customers? Most locals would never return to a place that over charges them in a sneaky way. ~keysdude2010@yahoo.com

[Ugly BPK] Here's one more thing that Key Largo has over BPK.  KL is the favored destination by all the Miami criminals (all varieties of Spanish speakers).  KL is their new target rich (yes, pun) location. KL is no longer a safe neighborhood. Crooks don't need to waste gas or time driving to MM 30.  They get everything they want from MM 106 to MM 90.  So, you Piners, there's something else to be proud of. The criminals aren't at your mile marker – yet!

The person who said, nothing's impossible has obviously never seen me do nothing.

A golden orb spider also known as crab spider is not a banana spider. Banana spiders were every where 20 years ago. They're leg span is 3 to 4 inches. They have elongated bodies that resemble bananas and they are black with some yellow. They have pretty much disappeared because their main source of food is mosquitoes, and thanks, or whatever, goes to Mosquito Control.

[Antisocial personality disorder] Does this apply to anyone you know? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder

[Polls] Thank you so very much to the person who posted the link to the X-Pole store. Now my wonderful wife has sent me shopping for a pole and floor to ceiling mirrors to install in our house. 

I'm on it dear!

[Ugly BPK]  After my detailed answer to how ugly Big Pine Key is, you still don't get it and you still think your town is OK. We'll I guess I'm speaking to dummies. It is all about tourists. It is all about your livelihoods. It is all about how we make a living here in the Keys. Don't you get it? The Florida Keys is known world wide. It is a cool place to live and vacation. How about joining the rest of us, BPK, and clean up for the sake of our tourists if not for yourselves.  

[Computer-less] Every now and then I run into an old hard-head who tries to appear cool because he refuses to learn how to use a computer. It’s hard to even try to explain to them that life without the internet is just you and someone else. Or you and nothing else.

The internet is everything. It’s all in how you use it.

[Ugly Big Pine]  First a Turtle was in the middle of the road and I had to jam on my breaks, get out of my vehicle go pick up the turtle and take him to safety. Then as I am proceeding to US1 I see 2 pink flamingos for the 1st time in my life along with 2 white long neck herons. As I get on US1 there is a brand new family of Key Deer with the little white spotted ones along the road. As I turn into Key Deer Blvd, in the middle of the road is the biggest iguana I've ever seen. It looked like a freakin’ Dinosaur. A little further up I see a Bald Eagle on the telephone pole. As I approached Watson Field, I saw four manatees hanging out on the bench drinking Budweiser and what looked like smoking and passing to each other a blunt. What is this neighborhood coming to folks?

Hometown Democracy is a grass roots organization that is trying to make it law that any major land use change gets voted on by the citizens it will effect. That will effectively put an end to major development in neighborhoods.

[BPK or Key Largo] I first came down here as a tourist for 25 years before I lived here for the last 10. Over the years I watched Key Largo change while little changed in the Lower Keys. In 2000 when I decided to explore the entire Keys to determine where I would like to live, the upper Keys had become way too busy and built up for me. It isn't the way it used to be. I moved to Big Pine and love it every day. I'm blessed to be here. To those in Key Largo that chose that Key, good for you. That's the lifestyle you choose. Different strokes for different folks.

My real estate tax bill is going up 18%. Why?

[Ugly Big Pine] When the first poster described BPK in less than colorful terms, I thought to myself that he/she was not far from the truth, but BPK, in my opinion, is no more or less attractive than any of the communities in the Keys except for parts of Key West.  What contributes most there are the large tropical plants that festoon old town. 

 What the rest of the Keys need badly are more tropical plantings.  Plants are refreshing, O2 producing, and cooling. Palms of all kinds (not just coconut) could easily be grown along with indigenous plants at intervals along US 1 the entire 125 mile stretch.  These oasis would contribute much to the feeling of entering a tropical paradise.  Driving through the neighborhoods of BPK one is struck by the lack of flowering plants in yards.  One reason makes it excusable.  We have long been held prisoner of the Key Deer.  They are, indeed, cute little beggars that give kids and visitors a lot of pleasure, but they will eat anything to extinction that has fresh succulent leaves and flowers.  Don't try to get a fence permit. You will be told they need to roam freely.  In Texas you can get a tax credit if you fence your property to impede deer from easily entering the roadways.  Still, we can all do more to beautify our homes and businesses.  Where I lived in California, neighbors maintained flower pots on stop signs.  Service stations had potted plants on the islands, and were bordered by shrubs so high you barely could see them from the main road, except for their prominent sign that was evident above. 

Beautifying a community takes the work and creativity of everyone.  Who will spearhead such an initiative, the Chamber of Commerce?  Hopefully, no reader will suggest I move back to California.  That is a knee jerk reaction of some.  I've lived here 20 years.  Remember Lady Bird Johnson's entreaty? Plant a tree, a shrub or a bush.  No plastic or silk flowers, please.

If Sloan were really committed to winning this BOCC race, he would be writing about substantive issues (budget, salary increases, public safety, development, the county's future); the stuff of value to the voters, the people over whom and for whom he will be making decisions.  It’s a pretty awesome responsibility, having power like that.

[Sloan - Deer Ed's Brother?] I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you to find nepotism and the bubba system being practiced on the pages of the Coconut Telegraph. Next you'll be telling us that the FTR guy is your father and that Sal is your sister. (Ed: Correction, Sal is my aunt)

Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.

[Ugly Big Pine] Some people just get their rocks off bitching about anything. They would probably bitch if you ran over them with a new Cadillac.

If you look at the record of the people running for county commissioner. Don Vasil is the only one that can help get us out of the mess we are in.

Soon after sunset on September 10th and 11th, Venus and the crescent Moon guide the way to some much more difficult sights. The visibility of faint objects in bright twilight is exaggerated here.

[A.A.] Deer AA Basher, there are probably a zillion blogs pro and con out there on most any subject one would want to bring up, my interest in you is what is your solution for a viable program to eliminate self destructive drinking. As you have demonstrated so often your disagreement with the A.A. approach, surely you have a better system in mind, that is what I wish you would share with this site. I don't think one should criticize ones solution to a problem unless one has a better one in mind. As you feel compelled to state your criticisms on this site, it only seems fair that you would want to share with us your beliefs in a better method. I am sure we could all use your input on our journey trying to understand some of these baffling questions.

NATIONAL POLITICS

[Progressive] It is great to be progressive as long as you know what you are progressing toward.  Progressing toward communism is not what I want.  If stagnant means keeping form moving over the cliff then I am for stagnation. 

[Jobs At Last] New plans unveiled to fix America. We need to find Hope, Faith and sweat again that are all building blocks of the middle class; the people who really built America from the ground up. Obama Unveils Huge Jobs and Infrastructure Plan | CommonDreams.org

[Respect FTR] It really borders on hilarious at times to sit back and watch the left on these sites as their comments criticizing the F.T.R. poster reach their frothy stage, as their critiques get more and more ludicrous. The latest one seems to be his endless listing of stone cold facts, which liberals find so boring. It seems they would much prefer Alinsky, or Ayers’ input or that pillar of knowledge, Al Gore. But I digress, as I said, it does provide entertainment.

Political Mind Control in America. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=693pU2V0eck

[Jobs] Obama proposed borrowing $50 billion more to rebuild our infrastructure and to finally create some jobs. The Republicans immediately nixed the idea, being afraid to do anything to help Americans unless it‘s tax cuts for the rich. Jobs are what we need not tax cuts for the rich.

If only we could get rid of Republicans this would be a great country once again.

Soros and the foundation Left have launched a website designed to go after the growing Tea Party movement. Teapartytracker.org will post video interviews and blog entries gathered by folks on the false left who never grow weary of demonstrating their outrage over the very idea of a grassroots political effort overthrowing establishment Democrats and Republicans in the district of corporate criminals.
Teapartytracker.org will be sponsored by the NAACP, Think Progress, New Left Media and Media Matters for America. Think Progress is a George Soros operation connected to John Podesta’s Center for American Progress. Podesta is Clinton’s former chief of staff. Media Matters for America is the brainchild of a MoveOn consultant and Podesta’s Center for American Progress. Soros is a major supporter of MoveOn.  

On July 13, the NAACP unanimously passed a resolution repudiating the Tea Party for alleged racism. The resolution followed accusations that the Tea Party had accosted members the Congressional Black Caucus as they traipsed the district of criminals mall on their way to vote for Obamacare, a grand larceny scam cooked up by large corporations. “Civil rights icon John Lewis was spit on, while Congressman Emanuel Cleaver was called the ‘N’ word and openly gay Congressman Barney Frank was called an ugly anti-gay slur,” a press released issued by the NAACP claims.

On April 1, Infowars.com provided evidence that protesters in fact did not spit on Missouri Democrat Emanuel Cleaver nor did they hurl racial epithets at members of the Congressional Black Caucus.

Cleaver later said a Tea Party protester did not spit on him intentionally. “All I’m saying is we all have to defuse it, and I think it is not in my best interest or in the best interest of this nation to stoke it,” he said on March 30 during a Fox News interview.

[Obama Made in Japan] What is a natural born citizen? This explains it all. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bp2kKNTjH70&feature=player_embedded

President Obama should be saying, "My economic stimulus plan has preserved or created 3 million jobs -- in China." He keeps leaving out the words "in China." His plan is stimulating American demand for imports, not demand for American products.

It’s amazing how the President’s approval ratings that show he’s doing a good job in certain areas never seem to make it to FOX news or to the local snake oil salesman. It seems that more Americans approve of the Presidents foreign policies then those that do not.Come on FOX news tell us the presidents positives also. FOX has become cable TVs elite.

You know that pesky foreign policy such as dealing with the war against the terrorist' and trying to get the Israelis and Palestinians to slow down the killing of each other. They wont stop of course but they need to keep trying to hold it to a minimum. And let me say this because FOX wont tell you this, but you better believe that Iran’s nuclear arms abilities will not make it to fruition. Obama and Israel’s leader are recently being very chummy and working closer.

The president has an approval rating of 46% from Americans and his disapproval rate is 42%.The rest are in the middle. The last Republican President only 2 years ago would have loved any approval rating over 25%. Yes, that means more Americans approve of the job Obama is doing worldwide then did President Bush just 2 years ago.

A Republican landslide this election? If the repubs don’t get control of either house its a huge win for our President. No matter what the Chicken Little doomsday crowd are trying to sell, Americans are not buying it, but the loud/whiny mouths get the publicity and the ones working hard every day get their say at the polls. The silent majority is too busy working, but they get louder when it counts. Squeeky wheels get the publicity. Paying attention wins elections.

[Jobs Bill] Oh no. Please don’t create jobs, the Republicans won’t have anything to complain about. I hope they do their damndest to stop this bill from passing, we need the hate. How about some more numbers and inane statistics showing how nothing will create jobs if Obama or a Democrat tries it.

I'm sick of the Right trying to keep the country down just so they can regain power. When they are in power the country stagnates or declines. Look at the last 8 years if you don't believe me.

[From the Right] I sure am happy that at least one CT fan really likes wearing the label, “progressive”. The definition that was posted by him seems to fit him just fine. Well, except for one niggling little detail. You know the part where it says: “Promoting or favoring progress toward better conditions.” Let’s talk a little about that.  About 6 years ago folks who considered themselves to be progressive began a political drumbeat that called, in part for change. In their platform from that cycle, they called for a halving of the federal deficit in 4 years, and enactment of a line item veto to kill pork barrel spending. As of that time the national unemployment rate was less than half of what it is today. Our economy was healthy. They accomplished nothing of what they called for.  The national deficit was about 1/3 of what it is today. During the next two years the progressives/liberals ratcheted up the drum beat wherein the media, exquisitely organized, excoriated everything Bush. There was even a new slogan “Anybody But Bush.” 2 years later the drumbeat again echoed throughout the land. The beat and lyrics was a virtual match for the previous two years. The Democrat Party theme was: “A new direction for America.” At that time, the unemployment rate was less than ½ of what it is now. Our national deficit was less than ½ of what it is now. The housing market was flourishing, GDP was rising at about 5% per year, and our economy was healthy. We were spending too much, for whatever his reasons Mr. Bush failed his constituency by not doing all in his power to cut federal spending. In that election cycle the Democrats seized control of Congress. They honored their pledge to take us in a new direction.  But, they accomplished nothing of what they had substantively promised. The new direction they chose was down. For the next two years unemployment, federal debt, federal deficit, and every measure of American prosperity ploughed new lows.  In the next election cycle, the 2008 Presidential election, the Democrats again cried for “Change, change we can believe in!” The Democrats again won control of Congress and they also won the White House.  This time, they most certainly did change everything. In only 4 short years, the Democrat/ Progressive/ Liberals have taken us on a brand new direction. Somehow they take pride in steering us towards the cliffs of Depression. So yes, My Deer friends, our current government is in fact rabidly progressive. In addition to certain Constitution breaking legislation, we are: “Proceeding in steps; continuing steadily by increments”. It can be said that that condition is progressive change.  It is tragic that the change is proving catastrophic to our way of life and our heritage. On the other hand, it is heartening to know that the agenda of the current administration has been broadly rejected by the American Public.

NO NAME UTILITIES

To the NNK folks who are trying to convince us that they will be pouring cheap clean solar generated electricity back into the grid.  I suspect that your real consumption AW (After the Wires) will triple over your current consciously rationed use of electricity.  One window mounted air conditioner will become a 3 ton pimple on your lot and the lights can now stay on and that freezer you didn't have but wanted will be delivered in a week.  And the large screen TV is on its way too, and you can watch it all day night if you want to.

All that's totally fine by me.  You should have utilities like I do, and I sincerely mean that.  You will be a net consumer like the rest of us, consuming much more as a community than you will ever produce as a community.  Maybe you'll put enough electricity into the grid to power a few street lamps and that’s really cool. And to be honest, I will be so glad that all those horrible gasoline generators will be finally silenced.  That’s the real reason you and I want you folks on NNK to be online.  I hate the fact that you are polluting our environment horribly with those generators and you hate paying five times what you would for electricity to keep it running all night to power a single window mounted air conditioner.  Right?

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Tuesday September 7, 2010

Monday September 6, 2010

[Ugly Big Pine] I don't travel through Key Largo any more often than I have to on my way to the mainland, but I'm a bit confused about the comparison of Key Largo to BPK.  My memories of Key Largo are a couple of nice hotels hidden behind walls and landscaping, one decent looking strip center, then nothing but gas stations, boat dealerships, dive shops, a seedy strip center, and a bunch of restaurants, some decent looking and some pretty run down.  When driving back to BPK from the mainland, I look forward to getting off of Key Largo to begin enjoying the scenery again.  I suppose if you live in an upscale subdivision hidden from the highway, it has its appeal. I've enjoyed diving Pennekamp in the past, but the silliness of comparing it to a small community like BPK seems pretty inane.  Enjoy Key Largo (South Miami) if you'd like, but I'll take BPK, even with some of its shortcomings, which are far outweighed by its inherent beauty.

[Animal Shelter] Big Pine gets it up the wazoo again.  SPCA takes over animal control and the first thing they do is close the Big Pine Shelter.  Will this county ever realize that we pay for services with our taxes just like the people in Key West, Marathon, and Key Largo?

[Tipping] I go on several cruises every year. I always tip the wait staff, the room attendants and the bartenders. Not once have I ever seen the Captain standing on the dock grubbing for a tip. It’s the same with the airlines. I have never tipped a flight attendant and certainly not the Captain who is always standing near the exit door whishing me a pleasant day.

I have actually heard charter boat captains tell their fishing party that dolphin is not good to eat. That way they would leave their catch behind and then the captain would take it to the fish house to sell it, cheap bastards that they are. How many charter boat captains out there pay their deck mates a livable wage?

[Staph]  Once an MRSA skin boil begins, even before it erupts, no amount of washing the hands with soap and water will stop it from spreading and eventually killing you horribly, if it isn't treated.

Someone told me that powered turmeric, which can be purchased in any grocery store's spice section, if sprinkled on MRSA boils before they get "ripe," continue the sprinkling several times a day, will eliminate the boils but not the underlying infection, which must be treated to stop it from taking over internally where it cannot be seen and will kill you.

[Mustang Sally] I really miss hearing the Moondogs play. They haven't been at Looe Key Tiki for quite some time. Does anyone know where they will be playing next?

[Ugly BPK] I am one of those people who used to drive from Miami to Key West (until I moved here). I've been doing this for over 15 years. Key Largo used to be more tranquil and Keys-like then (and, probably, more so before). In that time there clearly was a lot of development in upper Keys. So much, that Key Largo by now looks like any other overdeveloped commercial strip mall or street in Miami (or anywhere else up north, except for the palm trees). It's newer and shinier, it's vacuous and it basically sucks. If you like that - you really are out of place in the Keys, and you probably would be better off in one of the other states with chain stores, Starbucks and all that crap. I just hope Big Pine doesn't turn into what Key Largo has become anytime soon.

[Raw Sugar for Infection] The raw sugar really works. My dog had been attacked by another dog (a retired police dog, of all things) after my dog had run over to her, barking and growling, fur up, the whole magilla. Well, that's all he does, he's never bitten anyone or any dog. He's really a big coward with an even bigger mouth. So the police dog did what she was trained to do - protect her owner, and ripped a huge piece of flesh out of his hindquarters. I took him to the vet, they stitched him up, but the stitches broke, and he lost about a half dollar sized piece of tissue because it dried out and was no longer viable. That's where I first learned about the raw sugar.

Being a nurse, it went against everything I had learned. But I tried it. The hardest part was keeping the dressing in place. It was pretty silly looking at times, but I was determined. Like I said, at first I was skeptical, but lo and behold, in a month's time the wound was completely healed. And this was a wound all the way down to the muscle fascia. I could see the separate muscle striations. All I kept thinking was if this doesn't get infected, it's gonna be a miracle. 

At the time I knew a fellow from the Dominican Republic,