Archives of
The Coconut Telegraph
An Historical Diary of what Keys-oriented folks were talking about
Since 2002

BIGPINEKEY.com

July 2009

Friday July 31, 2009

[Marine Sanctuary] The need to protect coral from damage by ship groundings was one major reason given by the government and environmental groups for the 1990 establishment of the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary. The other was to protect reefs zones from oil drilling. Yet the majority of Keys locals did not believe that a marine sanctuary was needed to address these issues. They agreed that there was poor water quality in Florida Bay, the need for sewage treatment in the Keys, and to stop pollution coming from those pigs in South Florida. Those opposed to the sanctuary believed that none of these concerns would be better addressed by the additional layer of bureaucracy created by the FKNMS given that these issues were already being addressed by more than 30 agencies and non-profits. Those in favor suggested that the multiple agencies working on the issues had been inadequately addressing such problems.

Keys locals formed the 1,500 person Conch Coalition to oppose the sanctuary. They engaged in letter writing campaigns, sent hundreds of coconuts with anti-sanctuary messages painted on them to representatives in Washington, and held public speeches and demonstrations. Activists even hung NOAA's two main sanctuary managers in effigy. Through the efforts of anti-sanctuary groups (Conch Coalition, Monroe County Commercial Fishermen's Association, and other fisher groups) and individuals (many treasure salvers), the no-take zone was reduced from six percent to one percent in the 1996 final management plan. (The six percent designated as no-take zone in the draft management plan was already a major reduction from the 20 percent initially considered in 1990.) Yet, despite these major concessions with regard to the extent of fully protected areas within the proposed FKNMS, the people of Monroe County were still not in favor of the establishment of a marine sanctuary in their backyards.

The citizenry of the Keys were troubled not only that the sanctuary would not address key local concerns, but also disturbed that to overlay an appointed bureaucracy on top of those duly elected to manage resource use would be a violation of the democratic process. As such, the people of the Keys would become subjects in a NOAA administered colony.

Through the Conch Coalition, people of Monroe County pushed for a vote on the sanctuary issue. NOAA and the green groups that supported them (The Nature Conservancy, World Wildlife Fund, the Center for Marine Conservation, and Last Stand) were against holding a vote, but put significant funds into a pro-sanctuary campaign after Congressman Peter Deutsch promised to listen to the people with regard to their votes.

When the votes were counted, the people voted against the marine sanctuary in the (non-binding) November 5, 1996 referendum. In the aftermath of the vote, NOAA reported that people had “misunderstood” what they were voting for or had been swayed by false, anti-sanctuary propaganda. Deutsch had no comment when he went forward and supported the sanctuary in spite of the vote.

Those against the sanctuary report that people knew exactly what they were voting for and that they were tired of public hearings which allowed for input, but where they often had to wait for hours and were not listened to. To them the vote was in line with earlier, anti-government activity in the region, the most notorious of which was the 1982 secession of Monroe County from the United States and the declaration on the independent Conch Republic.

The anti-sanctuary forces had some wealthy backers, including Mel Fisher, who found the wrecked Spanish galleon the Atocha. Fisher opposed the sanctuary on the grounds that it would discourage treasure salvage by requiring lengthy permit applications and complicated, multi-stage archaeological and environmental assessments. In spite of considerable anti-sanctuary sentiment and the anti-sanctuary vote, the FKNMS was fully implemented in 1997 against the peoples’ wish.

[Last Day] Flea Market’s last day is tomorrow! They will be closing for the summer and reopen again on October 1. Tomorrow will be the last day for bargains and those hard to get items you’re always looking for.

[George Neugent did not ask for this sewer mandate; the State forced this unfunded mandate on us] The state said do it and still, more than 9 yrs later nothing has been done! All incorporated areas of the county have figured out how to get this done, but the unincorporated county can't find the front door to a one-sided fridge. Whoever posted that, please show the folks who have yet to be sewered what the "grand scheme" is to get the rest of these folks hooked up.

There is no plan, no estimates, no frickin’ idea of how and when this will be completed. I make no accusation of collusion between the Mayor, the commission and FKAA. This is probably the most financially inept place I have ever seen. 10 yrs to get sewers done and only incorporated areas have their shit together and now the county wants to tax us to get the rest done. We’ve got a financially inept school system run by CPA's and goofballs, commissioners buying property for saving "working waterfront" with no clue of what they are going to do with it. commissioners wanting to build hotels for their friends at the airports under the guise of "hurricane shelters". They’re selling 2 acres of prime "Harris School" Old Town property for half the appraised value.

Have any of these folks tried to think outside of the box? Probably not. Their solution to every problem is to raise taxes and sell land. Some leaders, huh! Jay Leno and Robin Williams would have a field day with this. Dear BOCC, their is a fire burning right outside your ass. What are you going to do?

[Lower units being stolen] Did the cops ever think of setting up a decoy. Their probably aren't that many lower units left down here. If you set up a sting and put one in plain sight you would have them in a heartbeat.

[From the Right guy] Keep up the good work! You’re doing great. How come those lefties don't challenge your facts? They call you 1/4 Truth or 1/2 Truth, but never show where you are mistaken. Why is that? Their postings remind me of an old saying, "To be ignorant of one's ignorance is the malady of the ignorant."

In my experience, there are four types of people. Those that want to be governed, because they don't want to work hard or think for themselves, those that want to govern, because they believe they are smarter than you, those that want to be left alone, with little governing or assistance and those willing to govern, though they don't feel that they know any better than you. In general, the Democrat party consists of the two former types, and the Republican Party the latter two.

The Russian airline Aeroflot has announced several changes to improve its tarnished image, including hiring stewardesses who are "very striking, very eye-catching girls," The new stewardesses will also not be bigger than a Russian size 48 -- the equivalent of a British size 12. They will also update the blue and orange uniforms. Psychologists have said that the current color evokes revulsion in passengers.

The airline is one of the oldest airlines in the world, but is known for having horrible customer service, food, and planes. All crew members will be re-trained and all Russian-made planes will be replaced with Boeings and Airbuses.

[Mayor Neugent] Before you go nominating George Neugent for knighthood, let me share an experience that I had with him. Like other folks here, my family and I lost our home and everything we owned after Wilma. I was battling the insurance companies and FEMA and had just gone to mediation in Davie, Fl. I wrote him an email. He sent me a scathing reply, called me a liar and a druggie. Further, he condescendingly said that he had a nice beach in front of his home and I could come see it. Goodie for you, George. I suspect that whoever answered me from Neugent's County email address was drunk. He even signed my response "love ya love ya. Neugent". I was shocked and appalled.

I emailed him again to ask for an explanation for this verbal slap. He said that he didn't write the response to me. So my question to him was, "Well then aren't you concerned who has hacked into your official County Commissioner's email account and is answering emails to your constituents under your signature ?" There was no sassy reply from Neugent for that one. No reply at all. I guess he's there unless we need him. Love ya, love ya, Georgie. ~RavenKeyWest@aol.com

[Howie and The Mile Marker 24 Gang] It has been a whirlwind around here. We had just arrived back in paradise and it was time to head down to mile marker 0 for the Today Show. I hope you caught us on Tuesday, it was such a good time. A big thanks to all of our friends who came down to support us from all over the country. There was quite a Trop Rock contingency there. We even made one of the highlight clips on NBC’s website. Check it out at http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/#32184540

The more people I meet the more I realize how wonderful folks are. Everyone at the Today Show could not have been nicer and it was such a pleasure working with them. Also, a huge thanks to Andy Newman and Carol Shaughnessy for all of their help making this happen. (photo by Dan Simpson)

This is the second and last day of Mini Lobster Season here in the Keys. We have thousands of boats out on our normally sparsely used waters, all in search of the perfect dinner. The Florida Lobster is a true delicacy of the Florida Keys waters and mini season is the biggest fishing event in Florida. Their tails tend to be a bit larger than their cold-water cousins but they don’t have claws. Makes them a bit easier to catch by hand, however, after bagging your limit your hands will be worse for the wear. They don’t call them spiny for nothing. Believe it or not I haven’t gotten my first lobster this year. But the regular season opens in a couple weeks and I know my special little spots will be loaded with bugs. It is 90 degrees every day now in the Keys and this is the best time of the year.

I think this must be national TV week for us. As you may know we were filmed with Samantha Brown during the taping of her Great Weekends on the Travel Channel. Well, based on the YouTube promo, I think we might have made the cut. Check out their promo at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFISsqJ_jig The show airs this Saturday, at 10 PM Eastern time so be sure and tune in. It will also air at 2 AM and Sunday morning at 9 AM. Then again on August 7th at 9:30 PM. (photo by Dale Hench)

We were also honored to have been asked to play for the official Captain Tony day in Key West at Captain Tony’s Saloon on Monday August 10th. We take the stage at 8:00 PM and hope to see you there.

[Goofy Laws] Going on vacation? Better check the local laws. You might find goodies like these.
In Milan it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except during funerals or hospital visits.
In Massachusetts, taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of the car during their shifts.
In Denmark, people are legally obliged to honk the horn and check for small children underneath the car.
In Thailand, it is illegal for anyone to leave a building without wearing their pants.
In Michigan, anyone planning on bathing in public must have their swim suit inspected by a police officer.
In Florida, any unmarried woman who parachutes on a Sunday could be jailed. Singing while wearing a swimming costume is also prohibited.
In Portugal it is unlawful to urinate in the sea.
In Hong Kong the wife of a husband who commits adultery is legally entitled to kill the mistress in any manner desired, and the husband with just her bare hands.
In Switzerland flushing the lavatory after 10pm is illegal.
In Canada if you are arrested and then released from prison, it is a legal requirement that the felon is given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so they can ride safely out of the town.

Continental Airline is installing DirecTV on planes. Are they using the Keys' SamySam?

[John Hinckley] You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980's. Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.

There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you may appreciate the following letter from Nancy Reagan to the staff at the mental facility treating Hinckley reports to have intercepted:

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our fine country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a nonpartisan consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout.

The Reagan family and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best wishes,
Nancy Reagan & Family

P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that.

[Mars] Something to look forward to this summer. Mars, the Red Planet is about to be spectacular. This month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an encounter that will culminate in the closest approach between the two planets in recorded history. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit, astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this close to Earth in the last 5,000 years, but it may be as long as 60,000 years before it happens again.

The encounter will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a modest 75 power magnification Mars will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye.

Mars will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise in the east at 10p.m. and reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m. By the end of August when the two planets are closest, Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the sky at 12:30a.m. That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being has seen in recorded history. So, mark your calendar at the beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter and brighter throughout the month. No one alive today will ever see this again.

Hey 1/4 truth guy, the stock market closed “up” yesterday at the highest it has been since 9 months ago when your boy Bush trashed the economy. Do you have any right-wing spin for us to justify the turn around? I do remember when you were blaming Obama for the downturn.

Beautiful volcano pictures. Will Krakatoa rock the world again...

[Sewers] The public deserves answers on our wastewater mandate. Only eleven months until the wastewater mandate deadline and the County Commissioners still have no answers for those residents in the Cudjoe system. How much will the connection costs be for those in the Cudjoe system? What will happen on July 1, 2010 if the County Commissioners still have not secured state or federal funding? What will be the role of the Department of Health on July 1 for those residents still waiting on the County to make decisions or who are designated as "warm spots?" What about No Name Key which is a known EPA hot spot?

Sprang eco sans is a new font designed by a Dutch company to use less ink. It has little holes in it, thus less ink to print. the holes only show up in larger sizes. They say a large company with 5,000 employees could save up to $125,000 a year on ink. Get it for free at http://ecofont.eu

[Microsoft IE 7 vs. 8] I have been using IE 8 since it first was in beta testing and found it to be superior to all previous versions and even better that Firefox for some applications. You suggested not downloading it until the bugs are completely worked out? I guess you aren't familiar with the way these products work because the bugs are never completely worked out of anything. As far as Windows 7 is concerned I have been running the release candidate for 3 months and it is without a doubt my favorite OS from Microsoft yet. It is robust, easy to navigate and has few compatibility issues.

Since you have so many problems with these new-fangled gizmos maybe you should just roll back to Win95 or get a Mac. I work with these systems on a global network everyday so I guess you would call this my professional opinion.

[Asteroids and Comets] NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory is introducing a new Web site that will provide a centralized resource for information on near-Earth objects - those asteroids and comets that can approach Earth. The new Asteroid Watch site is online at http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/asteroidwatch

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. ~Henry David Thoreau

[Pass ID Bill] Don't fall for it. The PASS ID is nothing more than the REAL ID all dressed up to look like it's different but it's more of the same. It's a step in the direction of a national ID circa 1934 Germany, "papers please". Don't be fooled into giving up your liberty under the guise of government protection from the bad guys. Another freedom bites the dust.

[Permission to Blog] To the Protx Blogger, keep up your good work, good words, and good posts. This guy criticizing you is the one who's the loser, probably brought on by blindly following what ever.

To that poster, stop and listen to yourself. Where do you think you're posting? You are just as guilty of "publicly rant rave and lunatic" as the rest of us posters. You're the black pot calling the kettle black.

All people are welcome to post. Nobody (except Deer Ed) gets to tell anybody else not to post. Don't like what you read, here's a 2 word remedy: scroll wheel.

[Little Engine] I have a question for girls. Is it true that guys who drive Corvettes are, let’s just say "under-endowed” in the peepee department? It seems those guys that drive red Corvettes are even more "short man syndrome". That’s always been the theory; I’m wondering if it’s really true.

High-tech briefs designed by a team in Japan to be odor-free. “I haven’t talked about this underwear to my crew members,” Wakata said, reportedly drawing a big laugh from his colleagues. “But I wore them for about a month, and my station crew members never complained, so I think the experiment went fine.” In space, no one can complain about your month-old underwear | csmonitor.com

[From the Right] According to a July 22^nd poll by CNN/Gallup Obama’s popularity is below the popularity of G.W. Bush at the 6 month point in their presidency. I really wonder where yesterday’s poster who claimed that Mr. Obama was the 6^th most popular president in our history got his info. Serious pollsters like Gallup and Rasmussen agree that Mr. Obama’s favorability rating is tanking, it’s at its lowest since his inauguration. His favorability is now at a -12. Rasmussen tells us that 61% of us feel that our nation is going down the “wrong road”, nearly 50% of us feel that our best days are behind us, Americans oppose the Presidents health care initiative by a margin of 49-47 with the opposition growing. More than 60% of Americans believe that his plan will actually increase costs. All of that does not suggest “popularity”. I hope that the poster just made a mistake and was not trying to fib to us. I wonder why the Obama admirer feels the need to mention the issue of Obama’s birthplace. There is little disagreement among the vast majority of us Right Winger’s that Mr. Obama is a natural born citizen of the U.S. More mention of the issue is made by Obama supporters than anyone else. Mr. Obama’s seeming reluctance to readily provide proof thereof, and his continuing refusal to release important documentation concerning his education and early experiences does give rise to many questions. Many theorize that his reticence is intentionally designed to promote question so that Obama acolytes can ridicule the questioners. It is a tactic championed by one of his early mentors, Frank Marshall Davis.

[3 questions about sewers going thru Big Pine Key] Yes, Yes and Yes!

[Race Comment] His teleprompter must have been turned off. Obama mishandled comments on race, according to poll

[Cruel Killing] I can't ever remember one Christian cleric sawing off someone's head with a knife for not being a member of their religion.

Mr. Neugent, if 2 million dollars is miniscule, can you set me up. I'd be a perfect miniscule if I just had so little money.

[Fire Hazard] Recall of washing machines. If you purchased an Electrolux built laundry product (top load washer, tumble action washer, laundry center) after January 1st, 2009, go to this website, enter your serial number (starts with XC or XE) to see if it is one of the recalled units. If your serial number does not begin with XC or XE it’s not part of the recall.

Brand Labels affected are Crosley, Frigidaire, GE, Kelvinator, White Westinghouse, Wascomat and Kenmore.

If your serial number is part of the recall, do not use it - unplug it immediately, as it is a fire hazard! www.laundrypumprecall.com

[Windows 7] I haven’t installed it yet, but everything I’ve read so far praises it. Supposedly it is the best operating system yet. I know one tekkie who’s been using it for months (beta version) and he thinks it’s the best OS yet too. There’s no compatibility problems or user account problems like Vista has. There are no compelling reasons or super features to upgrade except that this is really what Vista should have been.

[Pass ID Bill] I was required to get a Transportation Workers Identification Card to renew my captain’s license. No one has asked for it yet. I had to make 2 trips to Key West, pay 135 bucks, be finger printed--again and wait for a long and in depth background check--again. The TWIC is issued by the U.S government and allows transportation workers, land and sea, to come and go out of high risk area's. No one has ever asked for it--no one. The right hand has not a clue what the left hand is doing.

[Welfare Abuse] A pregnant woman who has already had 13 children taken away from her has vowed to keep on giving birth. "I don't give a s*** - I just want the Government to pay for them." http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1203124/Pregnant-mother-13-babies-taken-care.html

[National Night Out] Naval Air Station Key West, in partnership with the Key West Police Department, Monroe County Sheriff's Department, U.S. Coast Guard and Florida Highway Patrol, will host the 26th Annual National Night Out Aug. 4 from 6 - 8 p.m.

National Night Out was conceived more than a quarter century ago to heighten crime and drug prevention awareness and strengthen police-community partnerships. Last year more than 15,449 communities across the United States held National Night Out events.

We are a Christian Nation even if Mr. Obama says we are not.

Action figures with your face. Just what you always wanted! http://www.thatsmyface.com/index.php?page=shop.browse&category_id=5&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=33

[The Vandenberg will never make a decent return on our money] Where were you when the rest of us were fighting this damn thing? Why didn't you say that sooner?

[Moving Violation] Could someone please explain to me how a person stopped for “operating a motor vehicle without a valid license is a non-moving violation? Is it because the car is already stopped? Didn’t the car have to be moving in the first place in order for it to be stopped to find out the driver does not have a valid license? I am sorry the logic escapes me.

[Custom Bar Stool] Wait until Sal finds out about these! I wonder if they have one his size--petite? No doubt he will have to compare with all the other guys in the bar. Won't that be fun.

Some teachers can't.

[Political Parties] Wednesday’s From the Right’s definition of the political parties is all wrong. I like what someone wrote a few months back: Democrats are the party of Us and Republicans are the party of Me. I think that’s more accurate.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Friday July 31, 2009

Thursday July 30, 2009

[Don't get distracted by miniscule items] When a politician thinks $2mil is miniscule it's time to cull the herd. Part of that $2 mil is mine. When I'm handing over my hard earned money I don't want it treated as a 'miniscule' contribution. You dang well better keep close track of every penny, because my time and effort put it there.

[Sewers] I think the citizens of the Keys should go back and revisit the Grand Jury report regarding the sewer project on Stock Island a few years ago. I served 6 months on that grand jury and was the author of the final report. The report had to be professional and we only included information that could be corroborated by at least two independent people. Trust me when I tell you that the FKAA is 100 times better then the County. In all my years I have never seen such a bunch of idiots and incompetent morons. One of our new commissioners was our primary witness. She had so much dirt of the County and the Key West Resort Utilities that I only wish we could have sent someone to jail.

Is the sewer going thru Big Pine Key also? I had an aerobic system put in several years ago, at great expense. Will I have to get rid of it and pay more money for the sewer system? Can I be forced to do this?

[Mini Season] How about a Locals Mini-Season? I'll pay for a local’s Bug Stamp. How about the day before mini season? As far as the commercial fisherman, lets get rid of mini-season so they can make a living. Think what the county could save on payroll. I wonder how much was spent to get all the cop boats ready for patrol. 2, 3 and 4 engine boats are not cheap.

[Outboard Thefts] A couple of years ago a couple in Key largo staying at a resort witnessed two men in a panel truck cutting open a chain link fence steal a boat engine and cart it off in their van. The tourists called the MCSO dispatcher who replied, "If you still have the problem in the morning, call me." When I wrote to Sherriff Roth, he confirmed the call, was embarrassed, and recognized it as "an opportunity missed." They sent the dispatcher for additional training. I don't really fault Roth personally, as it just comes with the job.

Last year in Key Largo they stole my flats boat with a 90 hp Yamaha. When I reported it at 3 p.m (my neighbor was checking the house and discovered it missing) they tried to turn the tables on me by saying that their officers discovered the boat in Lake Surprise at 6 a.m.--like they were on top of it. I didn’t report it stolen until 3 pm!

They next week, to the day, my neighbor was awoken with the same guys who were up to the same crime. His wife called the MCSO, while he jumped in his boat and took off after them. Two canals away, he and the MCSO caught up with them just as they were about to shear the last mounting bolt. The other bolts, along with the cutting tools, were all there at 4.a.m

The MCSO refused to do anything to them because "No one witnessed them doing it."

[August Specials] Parrotdise Waterfront Bar & Grille. All 16 ounce draft beer $2 all the time, all month. (even including Guinness) We open at 11am with the kitchen open until 10pm every day.

Beach Parties start at 11am and go until the Sun sets. Buy a $10, $20 or $30 Wristband and Drink Free until the Sun sets on the beach—every day!

See us at live at www.parrotdisewaterfront.com

[Mayor Neugent Good] Dear Protx Blogger, Whoever you are, you are an ass and an idiot. Your long-winded tirades have been untruthful and unconstructive, to say the least… and are unwelcome.

I don’t know where you live, but it sure doesn’t sound like you’ve been here long, so let me help you out: The way we do things here is with communication and cooperation. If you have a personal issue with our Mayor, our Commissioners, or the FKAA, please call them to discuss it, but don’t publically rant and rave like a lunatic.

For the record, George Neugent did not ask for this sewer mandate; the State forced this unfunded mandate on us.

The Commissioners didn’t ask for the enormous job of sewering the Keys without the money and the State and Federal backing necessary to do so (on top of their actual jobs of running and representing the Keys and its residents). Shortfalls and delays are not the fault of the Commissioners. Countless trips by the Commissioners have been made in search of funding, it is certainly not their fault that the economy tanked, that State and Federal funds dried up, and it certainly is not their fault that the hundreds of millions of dollars promised to us were not delivered.

And as far as public accountability, are you serious? Public input has been taken, and considered, and costs have been made public, every step of the way in the form of newspapers, public wastewater meetings, FKAA board meeting (as those are publicly held and advertised as well), and BOCC meetings. No one is hiding anything; this has been an ongoing and open situation.

But, Mr. Protax (whoever you really are), here’s where you’ve gotten me truly angry: Don’t speak about No Name Key in your endless ranting. We don’t want, nor do we need, your help. No Name Key has been working in cooperation with the County Commission towards resolving the electricity issue, towards allowing electricity for all those who want it. Mayor Neugent has supported No Name Key on this issue, has put us up as his agenda item, and we greatly appreciate his support.

Your rants, your attacks against George, the Commission, and the FKAA, make me wonder exactly whose side you really are on, and what your agenda really is. Perhaps (as you know we’ve been receiving assistance and support from the County Commission) you are in reality one of the few trying to stop NNK electricity? Perhaps you are a representative of a rival sewer company? Or perhaps you are an early candidate for Mayor Neugent’s Commission seat, getting a head start on your slander campaign? Whoever you are, whatever your agenda, your twisted views on reality are not welcome.

Go home and yell at your TV set like the rest of the nuts do.

[Bike Wheel Thief] This rant goes out to the weaseling, scrawny, slack eyed, crack head of a low life, and in your language, punk bitch that took it upon themselves to feel as though they needed to steal my son’s rear wheel off of his birthday bike from the bus stop next to Octopus's Garden where it was locked up to last week.

The arrogance you have to feel as though any property, wherever it may be, whose ever it may be, locked up or not, is yours for the simple taking. I offer you this: return it to a neutral area, say the Big Pine Bike shop, to Marty, leave it at his front door, give it to him personally, no questions asked and the matter will be considered dropped. However, if it is not returned by this Saturday, I will be back in touch with the DOT and inform them that I will pay the fee for reviewing the tapes from their camera at the stop, and I will proceed with charges against whoever is on the tape.

I seriously don't think that you will comply with this request, even with the threat of being arrested for theft. but I will make you this promise, as a father, as a person, and as a concerned citizen for the community for over 15 years. I will pursue this until I find out who did it and be assured that when I find you, and I will, you definitely won’t need the wheel any more due to the fact that you won’t be physically able to ride a bike, let alone walk to any place you need to go. I am a red-blooded American and I believe that this kind of crap that continues to happen in Big Pine needs to be stopped.

I also am under the impression that whoever stole the wheel, doesn't have a computer, but anyone hearing of this event and knows that person that does read this, would probably tell them about it anyway, if not, it will reach you via the ole' coconut telegraph! Signed, one pissed off, 6’-1” 220lb dedicated American, Big Pine citizen!

The joke of the Vandenberg is that divers, and I am one, are the cheapest people on the planet. If we can dive free, that makes our day. Only the newbies spend money until they learn the tricks. The Vandy will never make a decent return on our money.

Mixed marriages sometimes work! Video

[From the Right] It looks like one of the reasons that Mr. Obama’s poll numbers are on the skids is that you just can’t put any faith in what he or his administration says. It wasn’t so long ago that unemployment was at about 5% that was at the end of the Bush admin. Mr. Obama pledged to us that if we gave him his stimulus package, that 5% unemployment would not go over 8%. We believed him and he got his stimulus. In spite of his promises, the last report was that unemployment was at 9.5%. It’s nearly certain that the next report will show a rate of 10+%. He got his “stimulation”, we doubled our unemployment rate. He assured us that his emergency stimulus package was only for “shovel ready” projects and that it would generate millions of new jobs. As of now those “shovel ready” projects, have spent less than 10% of the funding. Why? Because he’s hoarding the money so that it can be spent just before the next election cycle to pump up Democrat politicos. What about the super jobs he promised? One newsgroup is announcing that the admin is claiming about 150k jobs created. When you do the math you discover those jobs cost about $450k per job. How many of those $450K jobs are there around BPK? Oregon is emblematic, they report that they have created 3,236 new jobs in the program's first three months. That sounds just freaking spiffy doesn’t it! But those jobs lasted on average only 35 hours, or about one work week. After that, those workers were effectively back unemployed, according to an Associated Press analysis of state spending and hiring data. By the state's accounting, a job is a job, whether it lasts three hours, three days, three months, or a lifetime. The Obama is sounding more and more like the late great Billy Mays. They want you to believe them when they say: “Honey, wait” “this won’t hurt honey, I really love you”.

The Milky Way Over Devil's Tower. Close encounter?

[Obama Bad] Obama is an elected president not an absolute monarch. It's too easy for political opponents to foil any of his attempts to improve things and make him look like an incompetent, which is what the GOP has been doing since he took office, without regard for the consequences. The term "United States of America" is really a misnomer.

Strap on an extra fin to run off the excess tourists of the moment.

[Iguana Bounty] Being averse to killing any animal except the enemy, I wonder if the iguanas were captured and taken to the SPCA or FEMA or the Mayor's palace, or do they UPS them to our friends in Cuba?

Why men should not be allowed to order wedding cakes.

[Obama Bad] You will refuse to recognize evil staring you right in the face. No wonder that the county government has been able to screw you all, up, down, and sideways. It has been going on for decades, and you all refuse to acknowledge it. Then how could I expect a lesson from history to have any affect on you? You all deserve everything you will get. It was a great man's quote, "in order for evil to triumph, all is needed, for good men to do nothing!" You will all live to regret Barack Obama’s Presidency.

[Muslims Bad] We are a nation of hypocrites who complain about Iraq’s theocracy and at the same time begin all House and Senate meetings with a blessing by a Christian cleric.

[Pass ID Bill] On the same day that Secretary Napolitano highlighted the Department’s efforts to combat terrorism and keep our country safe during a speech in New York City, Congress took a major step forward on the PASS ID secure identification legislation. PASS ID is critical national security legislation that will break a long-standing stalemate with state governments that has prevented the implementation of a critical 9/11 recommendation to establish national standards for driver's licenses. As the 9/11 Commission report noted, fraudulent identification documents are dangerous weapons for terrorists, but progress has stalled towards securing identification documents under the top-down, proscriptive approach of the REAL ID Act -- an approach that has led thirteen states to enact legislation prohibiting compliance with the Act. Rather than a continuing stalemate with the states, PASS ID provides crucial security gains now by establishing common security standards for driver's licenses and a path forward for ensuring that states can electronically verify source documents, including birth certificates.

[Photoshop] What you can do with a little creativity and Photoshop.

[Politicians Bad] All politicians never give a damn what you think or want. This sewer scam is just one play on their big Monopoly board. It took more than two-plus years, for a 3/4 mile section on Geiger Key to be done and that was only the raw labor in the dirt. It is said, they had so many calves born on that stretched out job, they could start a milk farm. What is it going to be like for the rest of us? It won't matter, because they will get their wish and commandeer all the land when they push us into the sea.

[Welding on Truck and Car Wheels] Every day just about every insurance company makes every body shop put on remanufactured wheels that have been refurbished but who knows what they went thru before we got them. Often we see positive evidence of welding on the inside of the wheels. Then they are straightened and machined and painted and LOOK fine. But who knows. And the insurance company saves a few bucks and thats all they are about. They tell us where to get the wheel and we have to give the damaged wheel back when we get the refurbished one. The insurance co. says that is all they are willing to pay and the customer doesn't want to pay the difference so our hands are tied. Watch this film and you decide if you want to ride on a refurbished wheel. Video

Microsoft and Yahoo join forces against Google-finally http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/60-second-science/post.cfm?id=microsoft-and-yahoo-join-forces-aga-2009-07-29&sc=cat_tech_20090729

[Outboard Thefts] Someone wrote into the Citizen yesterday stating that the outboard thefts must be under the protected Bubba system. I tend to agree. I wonder what would happen if an investigator from one of the large insurance companies looked into this rash of thefts? The cops down here are really going to look stupid when this makes the national news.

[Obama Good] Here’s a little fact you won’t hear on Fox News. President Obama at his sixth month as President had the sixth highest Presidential rating in American history. We all know honeymoons end after a while. He can’t please everyone and doesn’t try to. That leaves people resorting to downright crazy stuff such as "He’s not even an American." Which we all know is lunacy.

A truly sick man. Police: SC man charged with having sex with horse

[iPhone] If you receive a text message on your iPhone any time after this Thursday afternoon containing only a single square character, Charlie Miller would suggest you turn the device off quickly! How To Hijack 'Every iPhone In The World' - Forbes.com

[Candyman] Remember when your mother told you never to take candy from a stranger? Well, this is the one she was talking about!

[Veterans Insurance] Bad press led to President Obama abandoning his proposal to require veterans carry private health insurance to cover the estimated $540 million annual cost to the federal government of treatment for injuries to military personnel received during their tours on active duty. The President admitted that he was puzzled by the magnitude of the opposition to his proposal.

"Look, it's an all volunteer force," Obama complained. "Nobody made these guys go to war. They had to have known and accepted the risks. Now they whine about bearing the costs of their choice? It doesn't compute.." "I thought these were people who were proud to sacrifice for their country," Obama continued. "I wasn't asking for blood, just money. With the country facing the worst financial crisis in its history, I'd have thought that the patriotic thing to do would be to try to help reduce the nation's deficit. I guess I underestimated the selfishness of some of my fellow Americans."

[How Cool Were You in High School] This is a pretty cool test, check it out. (Warning, you need to be able to
remember what year you graduated.) This test is based on how cool you were
in High School--what crowd you ran with, etc., it's pretty accurate. http://www.sailinganarchy.com/general/2002/cool_test.htm

[Elderly Abuse] Get those elderly varmints! With Obama's Healthcare bill trying to shorten the life of elderly people perhaps he could hire "The Housekeeper”, Sue Gatti on Little Torch Key to help do them in. She wouldn't get as many assets as she is accustomed to, but she knows how to get them. Careful Sue, you’re not getting any younger. Maybe someone like you will take care of you. ~grockett123@rocketmail.com

[Disease] Swimming pools on foreclosed properties could harbor West Nile Virus mosquitoes.

[From the Right] I smile at the daily rant of the 1/4 truth guy. While I'm enjoying life in the Lower Keys, he's wasting his time espousing his one-sided long winded views that I doubt has changed one opinion on any issue.

[Shark Key Sewers] I voted for the Mayor. I got duped and I'm not insured by Geico. He screwed us all. I told Randy Acevedo about karma before he got his. Guess who karma is going after next?

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~Anais Nin

This cop lost control while driving at high speed with siren and lights on. He crashed into a post in the city center of Stockholm. Luckily nobody was hurt, but everyone was laughing at the cops.

[Letter to County Mayor] I sure would vote for that poster in a heart beat! It was a good honest post stating how we all feel.

[What's In A Name] The tiny rural hamlet has been plagued by randy summer visitors filming themselves romping with the name 'F***ing' in the background. "I'm sure each of them think they're the first to think of it but believe me they're not. We've grown very tired of it.” Ananova - Village sick of living in F***king

[Capsulize KW in a 3 hour show] Just show reruns of Payton Place, Amityville, Jaws, Mod Squad, Old Man and the Sea, and the Tomas Crown Affair.

Scientists say a massive earthquake has brought New Zealand a foot closer to Australia. Ananova - Earthquake brings New Zealand and Australia closer together

[Really Old Aviation Photos] It is mind boggling to imagine all the changes that have taken place in aviation.

[Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 and Windows 7] Those of you who run Windows, you will keep getting up dates for Internet Explorer 8. I strongly suggest NOT downloading and installing it until the BUGS are completely fixed. It has problems ! Stay with Internet Explorer 7 or 6, especially if you are running Windows XP. IE8 is supposed to be best for Windows Vista, but it is designed for Windows 7, which in itself, is a disaster in need of major bug fixes. If your systems are running fine, don't up grade or up date Windows to the next level or to IE8. Wait at least six months.

MS is doing what they always do, selling products that are not fully tested and correct. Save your money. http://www.microsoft.com/windows/internet-explorer/support/faq.aspx

(Ed: We’ve been using IE8 on our Vista machines since it came out and haven’t had any problems. It’s by far the best browser we’ve ever used.)

[House of Wax] Members of a prominent Chicago-based sorority are suing to oust their national president -- former Chicago Housing Authority comptroller Barbara McKinzie -- saying she misappropriated funds and commissioned a $900,000 wax figure of herself! Members sue AKA president, cite $900K wax statue :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Business

[Obama Bad] I'm very disappointed in the case where the president commented on a local civil arrest. I voted for him hoping that race would not be an issue in any problem.

[Green Jobs] Oops! Team Obama's 60 billion dollars for creating green jobs from the Stimulus Package has slammed into a wall. A very perplexing problem popped up. After 2 plus years of listening to Obama talk about "Green Jobs and Green Energy" he's proven once again he had no idea what in the hell he was talking about. Use the right buzz words and they will follow blindly.

It seems the Obama team can not come up with a definition as to what a green job really is. No worries, Obama's green energy czar, a self proclaimed Commie and ex-con is working hard on the case. I'll take Bush any day and I hated him. Hell, I'd even welcome Carter back again (even with his long gas lines, stupid sweaters and all else).

[Bar Stool] One of our more popular watering holes has just purchased 25 of these male only bar stools. For $100 they will order your own custom fitted stool engraved with your name. They are currently looking for a design for their regular female customers. So far they haven't found the right size.

Congress is a cesspool of liars, thieves, inside traders, traitors, drunks (one who killed a staffer, yet is still revered), criminals, and other low level swine who, as individuals (not all, but many), will do anything to enhance their lives, fortunes and power, all at the expense of the People of the United States and its Constitution, in order to be continually re-elected. Many democrats even want American troops killed by releasing photographs. How many of you could honestly say, “We pledge our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor”? None, one, two?

Italian coast guard failed to see the funny side after two men turned a bright pink Mesaratti into a waterproof car boat for a trip to the seaside.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Thursday July 30, 2009

Wednesday July 29, 2009

It's Mini Season!

[Sewers] My husband was involved in sewers from early on here in the Keys and always has said that he felt the Commissioners were too close to the FKAA and that no one was overseeing how much was spent. Reading the Mayor's post that appeared here for several days made me sicker and sicker the more I saw it.

Calling $2,000,000 "miniscule in the grand scheme" of sewer things as he did, insults every taxpayer in the county as well as anyone whose money has found its way here in the form of State and Federal grants. How can this be allowed? “Scheme” I'll say.

This statement was from the top elected official in our county? It is no wonder no one wants to help us. It’s just like my husband said time and again, there is something wrong with FKAA and good reasons why places like Key Largo and Marathon are building their own system. For that matter, why Key West (where the FKAA is based) contracts with OMI for its system and does not use FKAA.

Time and again I hear the Mayor supporting the FKAA like he works there and now he’s suggesting he tax us more. How about taxing Shark Key to get our money back?

I saw the Mayor on the Today Show and all I could think about was his calling $2,000,000 'miniscule' and how he himself sponsored the legislation that sewered Shark Key for free. The last I checked, Shark Key is a private community and one that, from what I hear, FKAA was not planning to sewer. He used the right word when he wrote about a 'scheme' and I am just happy his posting is not up today. I am mad as hell he did this and is trying to cover it up.

[Dive Gear Thieves] Monroe County Sheriff Bob Peryam wants to remind people who plan to go diving for lobster Wednesday and Thursday to be careful to keep your dive or snorkel gear secure. "In the past, we have experienced an increase in the theft of dive and snorkel gear during the two day sport lobster season," Sheriff Peryam said. "People leave their gear on the dock, or on the seawall or under their stilt house to dry and someone walks off with it. It is a simple crime to prevent - secure your gear right away when you get off the boat."

In addition, there are usually reports during the season of fishing poles and electronics taken from boats overnight. Make sure these valuable items are also secured and not left easily accessible on your vessel. Otherwise, Sheriff Peryam would like to remind people to follow the rules and have a good time. "We will have all our boats and jet skis out on the water during the sport lobster season. We'll also have officers at all area boat ramps during the two day season. We have no desire to ruin anyone's day with a criminal charge for short lobsters or a citation for lack of safety equipment," he said. "That's why everyone should know the rules in advance, and make sure they are properly equipped for their days on the water. Make this a safe and legal visit to the Keys and we welcome everyone to our beautiful county and hope you have a terrific time."

[$2,000,000 Shark Key Oversight] “0.0001% is miniscule by any measure” Folks need to avoid 'majoring in minors'. Don't get distracted by miniscule items. I think the Mayor is focused on all the right priorities.

[Vandenberg Statistics] This is all about money. The dive shops need to collect an extra Vandi fee and turn that money over to a County Vandi Fund. But people said that would not work because not everybody who dives the Vandi uses a dive shop. And the more money the dive shops collects, the more they have to pay in business taxes. There’s no incentive to collect any data. The big picture is that if data were collected, people could see what a colossal failure the whole thing is.

Does the City of Key West make any money for the sinking events? If so, how much, and where did it go? Hopefully not into TDC's bank account.

[County Salaries Bloated] It is great to live in a place where money is available in gigantic amounts for public use and rarely questioned by the public. Amounts in the millions are spent in a county with less than seventy-five thousand full time residents.

Add up the budgets of Monroe County, The City of Key West, the other incorporated areas, the school district, FKAA, Keys Energy Services, and other public services, it will add up to hundreds of millions of dollars. Divide that by seventy-five thousand, and it will come to tens of thousand of dollars for every man, woman and child living in the Keys.

Yet if one can even find an average job, their total earnings are needed to feed, clothe, house and transport even a small family of three.

The money comes from somewhere to pay a hundred or more public officials over one hundred thousand a year plus benefits. Try to find a private employer that will pay any where near that much.

You can't be that rich to keep paying paper pushers that kind of money, while the low end worker (who actually physically works) gets laid off.

Mini-Lobster season's most dangerous creatures! World's Most Dangerous Creature

[Sewer Stimulus] Tens of millions of stimulus dollars are being used to repair and build toilets across the nation. You'd think the save-the-planet preaching feds in control of an Area of Critical State Concern would be flushing some money down the drain here. What a silly thought, using taxpayer stimulus dollars for something really important, that would also accomplish an important improvement in the planet!

[Vandenberg statistics] In the latest edition of Key West Weekly, a give-away paper, there was a very brief item about the Vandenberg and a KW City Commissioner addressing the KW Chamber of Commerce and his assessment of the impact the ship has created. A sidebar to his quotations with the title of "Vandenberg Economic Surge" stated:

$6 million pumped into local economy
190 new jobs created
Dive Shops Slammed
$.5 million State Sales tax Generated
Professional Opportunities Created in Keys Dive Community
Provides FKCC with Underwater Classroom.

Really? I think many people will be curious as to just how those figures were determined. They seem to be just a bit outrageous to me.

The Vandenberg was sunk (along with more than $2 million county taxpayer dollars) on May 27. Can we believe that in less than 60 days $6 million dollars of new money has been generated? That's $100,000 per day, every day. Hard to believe isn't it?

Where are these 190 new jobs? No new dive shops have opened. Exactly what are those phantom jobs and where are they located? That would be about 3.1 new jobs each and every day since the ship went down. Once again it’s hard to believe.

Where did the supposed $.5 million sales tax come from? That would also mean new money that otherwise wouldn't have been collected. And how did anyone arrive at that figure? Was the revenue increase tied so closely to the Vandenberg that it could easily be separated from the other sales taxes collected? Not likely.

"Dive shops slammed." Hey, it's summer and warm water dive season. It would be good to hear from dive operators about how much new business they have compared to last year at this time and how much of that business is directly attributed to the Vandenberg.

As far as "Professional Opportunities Created in the Keys Dive Community" goes, that too is questionable. Exactly what would those opportunities be? We sure don't need more dive shops or dive charter boats and we certainly don't need more dive instructors. The Keys are already bloated with instructors. FKCC churns them out like Cheetos.

The FKCC Underwater Classroom isn't going to generate any appreciable amount of hard cash to the local economy.

Numbers and statistics are easy to fiddle with and made to say whatever you want them to say (just ask any politician). I think the good taxpayers of Monroe County would like to hear hard facts and figures and how those facts and figures were obtained rather than just a rose colored mini-report to a select group of business persons who like nothing more than to hear good news.

The last quote was, "People who come back to Key West three and four times on cruise ships," said the commissioner, "want to see reinvention. The Vandenberg has certainly created that."

That’s not too likely. It is more likely that only a miniscule fraction of one percent of cruise ship passengers will ever see the Vandenberg. Cruise ship passengers are usually too fat to dive.

Mr. Commissioner, if the $6 million dollar figure is accurate, Monroe County taxpayers would like to see our $2 million dollars returned as soon as possible!

The egg bearing lobster on the Winn-Dixie billboard is a hoot. I think they were trying to look classy (like Publix) with a picture from a science book. The poster's especially amusing because they put it up for mini-season.

[AA not Christian Organization] Listen here! If you have nothing nice to say about a fellowship then why say anything at all? You obviously have no interest in getting yourself sobered up. (Please don’t write back and say "I don't have a drinking problem") Believe me, anyone who writes the things about AA that you have written is obviously still out there with their self-destructive behavior. You probably have not had enough pain yet. When you have, we will be there for you. May God bless you and watch over you.

The worst movie ever made. (sadly, these same people probably voted) Crowds flocking to see the 'Citizen Kane' of bad movies

[Kinfolk] After reading statements about B.O. and the politicians in the Keys, I'm wondering if they are all related.

[Mini Season] The environmentalist in me says greed. It's all about the greed. Just try to eliminate mini season and listen to the merchants yell we need the money.

The realist in me says we need the mini season income to keep the stores open, to keep the locals employed, to keep the few business tax dollars trickling into the county coffers.

I hate sitting on both sides of the fence. Except, wait … I'm tipping. Is the money they bring in enough to repair the damage they do? Are they paying their way? No? Thud! I just landed on the environmental side.

[Gates’ Arrest] Someone from yesterday's Coconut Telegraph needs to read the Cambridge police report a little closer. Mr. Gates did not provide identification when first asked. He responded with racial suggestions and anger. When he finally did provide identification, it was a Harvard ID. I am not aware of too many school issued ID's that show your home address. Also, Gates was arrested after following the officer back outside and creating a disturbance. Maybe the cop was wrong in arresting him and maybe he wasn't. Either way, Obama is 100% wrong for making the statements he did before knowing all the facts.

The issue is not Presidential. It's a local issue. It is known that Obama is friends with Gates. Someone who has risen to the level of President of the United States should know not to comment on such issues.

[From the Right] Every now and then a poster makes statements that really illuminate how ferociously foolish they can be. Yesterday a poster, mouthing yawning clichés, railed against Republicans. Hey says that speaking out against the actions of a seated American President is “unpatriotic”. I suppose that means that all of the rhetoric that he and his pals puked during the GWB administration was treason. Nope, that poster is simply mouthing off. He’s either choosing not to think, or is simply incapable of rational thought. I can only speak for this Right Winger, and this Right Winger is convinced to moral certitude that the path that Mr. Obama is trying to take our great nation down will be the ruination of the dreams of forefathers and will dishonor the sacrifices of millions of American service people. Mr. Obama’s announced initiatives will rob all Americans of basic freedoms and will deliver only harm to our nation. . Our nation’s wealth, power, and national ethos are the products of free market enterprise and a minimalist government. Mr. Obama has repeatedly demonstrated to us that he demands an overarching central government with his party holding the reins of power. We cast off the shackles of an intrusive and controlling government in 1776, and now Mr. Obama wants to put us back into those shackles. Not to resist his efforts would be the very definition of lack of patriotism.

(Part II) Monday a poster allowed as how he has always thought there was not much difference between Democrats and Republicans. Does the term “duh” come to mind? Here’s an easy primer for him: Democrats believe that government is smarter than they are. Democrats are probably right about that. Democrats believe that government should take care of them, provide them with food, shelter, medical care, and the basic needs of life like cell phones, sat TV and The View. Democrats believe that it doesn’t matter how hard one works, everyone should prosper about to about the same extent. They also believe that the government should take away from those folks who prosper and give it to those who don’t. The Democrats really like being governed, Republicans don’t. Republicans revere our Constitution and believe that it’s precepts are as valid today as they were in 1776. Democrats believe that the Constitution should bend and change to meet the vagaries of the moment. This comparison could go on for pages. The differences between the Republicans and Democrats are vast, but it’s no surprise that yesterday’s Obama acolyte would be unable to fathom them.

(Part III) Franking scandal: There is a serious brouhaha in progress in Congress that is getting very little coverage from the media. Our Legislators have the duty and the right to communicate with their constituents. Each of them has the right to mail communications to their constituents without cost. It’s called the Franking privilege. That process is regulated by the Congressional Franking Commission appointed by the Congressional leadership, now solidly Democrat. The Franking Commission has denied certain Republican legislators the right to free and unfettered use of the mail. The Democrats are censoring certain mailings made by Republican Legislators. It appears that they are preventing the mailing of printed matter that is critical of Democrat issues or initiatives. Even to the extent that they have censored direct quotes, in context, of the President. This is really scary, if the Democrats can censor legislators, can it be long before they begin censoring your right to free speech. http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/23/gop-charges-dems-censorship-sign/

(Ed: You get three From The Right guy today because I missed one from yesterday. Sorry, Rush!)

[Stimulus & Sewers] Maybe I missed something, but I would like any one of our elected officials to explain why we are not getting any of the stimulus money to help pay for our sewer system which will help protect our waters and reef which has long been referred to as a National Treasure belonging to the whole of America and available to the entire taxpaying public to enjoy.

I would like to hear the other side of the "pitcher pincher" story.

[Shark Key Sewer Excuse] "The cost of that error (.0001% - $2 million) in the grand scheme of things was miniscule" If that's how we're going to look at it, why don't we just do my street for free. Maybe nobody would even notice in the grand scheme of things.

That statement is typical government mentality. They waste millions the way the rest of us treat a dropped penny. They think that sometimes it's just not worth bending over for.

The water temperature yesterday at Looe Key was 88 degrees (down from 90 degrees, last week.) I’m starting to see some definite coral "paling." Hopefully, more rain will continue to cool the water a bit and we can avoid a major bleaching event.

In 2005, the hurricanes cooled the water down and prevented bleaching. I don't want to see Mother Nature use that solution again.

In case you can’t find enough to do on the internet. 40 Fantastic Time-Wasting Web Sites - PC World

Havana Day Dreaming Key West looks to restore Havana flights - Breaking News - MiamiHerald.com

[Iguana Bounty] Thank you, poster, for sending in that story about the Iguanas. That was great. I was smiling like crazy the whole while I was reading it.

I wish we could do that here in Monroe County without Mr. Turtle (you know who he is!) raising a ruckus. There are just too many of them--waaaay too many!

I guess Keys locals can't get that on some agenda; we should ask the powers that be to allow a bounty on iguanas.

Lost Cargo will be open today with lots of corn, tomatoes, peaches, avocados, mangos and much more. We’ll be here bright and early so stop by when you get off the boat. (Sorry I was closed Tuesday, but we went down to Key West for the Today Show and had a blast!)

Mini lobster season and Coral spawning. http://hosted.verticalresponse.com/325408/3236d88469/1422002626/a51c7b8532/

Magic lamp bimbo. Video

There is so much waste in America. This is a great idea for fuel to generate energy. Food Waste Helps Power Wastewater Plant | CommonDreams.org

[Deadly Toy] If this "toy" can carry a bowling ball, it can carry something much worse. I bet anything, the feds will start regulating remote controlled stuff soon! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDbQ5xvsrIU&eurl=http://www.fark%252

Obama’s approval rating is now ranked 11 out of 12 for presidents in there first 6 months. His own party is already turning on him. I know my family who voted for him regrets it already and this is before he went racial and called the cops stupid.

During these hard times we need leadership and I am not seeing it. I’m a disappointed democrat for now.

[Scottish Clans] Maori hapu welcomed at gathering of the clans in Scotland. More than 40,000 people of Scottish descent have gathered in Edinburgh for the biggest gathering of the clans in over 200 years. http://www.3news.co.nz/Video/World/tabid/313/articleID/114095/cat/782/Default.aspx#video

To save the economy in 2009 Obama will start deporting all of the old people over 50 in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

Cool canine Fei Fei left other dogs in the shade after his owner bought him a pair of sunglasses as a joke. But now the fashion mad mutt refuses to leave owner Bo Lee's home in Chongqing, central China, without being given his wraparound shades! "I think he likes all the attention he gets on the street," said Lee. "I bought them to protect his eyes, but now if I try to leave the apartment without them he howls the place down."

[54 Motors Stolen] Those outboard motor thieves have got to be local and I have a bad feeling some of our police may be in on it. I hope not, but this is just too blatant not to be detected by someone!

[Race against the tide] Artist creates intricate masterpieces... that the sea washes away within hours. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1202491/Race-tide-Artist-creates-intricate-masterpieces--sea-washes-away-hours.html

Some Muslims have refused to use alcohol-based hand gels to combat the spread of swine flu because they claim it is against their religion. Soo-eeeee! Muslims refuse to use alcohol-based hand gels over religious beliefs | Mail Online

[Nude Beach] Every day we have something to be thankful for; today we are thankful that the photographer was not standing on the other side! Do we need a nude beach in Key West?

Obama’s not an American. He was born in Paraguay. The entire government is in a huge cover up because the aliens want the Democrats to be in charge so they can send down pink-o Commies to take over the world. I’m not a crazy Republican I’m a real American. Down with our President.

The record-breaking kayaker who risked life and limb in a 186 ft waterfall drop.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1202308/Pictured-The-record-breaking-kayaker-risked-life-limb-186ft-waterfall-drop.html#ixzz0MeQfIy85

[Healthcare Bill] Can you honestly make any damn sense of it? I cannot imagine how many government employees it took to draft this proposal, much less create the supporting paperwork. In case anyone wants to know some of the provisions in the new Health Care Bill before Congress. Surely this couldn't be socialism? Link to bill

[Fish Regulations] The commercial fishermen will keep pounding the fish until there is only one left, then the recreational guys will hold a tournament to see who can catch it.

Dutch pranksters in Amsterdam have dumped dozens of the tiny two-seater cars into the city's waterways. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2556548/Dutch-vandals-chuck-tiny-Smart-cars-in-Amsterdam-canals.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=News

Dear Mr. County Mayor: I voted for you in the last election. I will not make the same mistake again. You must be a very wealthy man to feel $2 million is a miniscule amount of money in any circumstance. But, in this case, it is not your money; it is the money of the county taxpayers to whom you have a fiduciary responsibility to serve, something of which it appears you have no conception. I doubt that even very wealthy business people who lose $2 million due to sheer stupidity and negligence would not take very lightly. You seem to take it all with a grain of salt. Folks would lose jobs and some would even be prosecuted.

In reality, the 37 homes on Shark Key are worth, lets say $2.5 to $4 mil each, and the income and net worth of those folks combined is probably a few hundred million dollars and more. Now please, Mr. Mayor, get out your taxpayer-provided abacus and do the math backwards. That $2 mil "miniscule" taxpayer dollars is now miniscule ("in the grand scheme of things") to the multi-millionaires who you and the BOCC provided an error of a free ride, sans the miniscule hookup fee. If one of the Shark Key folks lost a miniscule 2 mil due to complete incompetence there would be some real shit hitting the fan. I have no problem with wealthy folks. I have a problem with elected officials that appear to give them more favorable treatment than the average citizen. And please cut the crap about density and how many feet of pipe need to be laid to accomplish a project. You are truly insulting your residents. We grasp that fact. We don't grasp or accept situations such as Shark Key. The county residents are watching you. Are you watching them?

[Mini season] I think we should have it once a month. The Mosquito Plane was out today, and I hear the fogger coming down the street. Oh crap, they’re trying to exterminate the bugs!

[Sandy Downs] Was anyone even slightly surprised at the way she is behaving? It was pretty clear from her ranting that she was unbalanced and with endorsements from whack-jobs like Sloan you just knew she was headed for a melt down. Just imagine if she actually got elected! That's one crazy lady. ~arthur_phrain@hotmail.com

[Why should statistics be gathered on Vandenberg divers?] Perhaps for the same reason your boss keeps track of your hours and job performance--accountability!

Are those who supported the Marine Sanctuary take over some years back happy with their decision? For anyone in the know, has that big government intervention really helped or hurt the Keys?

[Today Show in KW] Yes, of course I watched it, but if you showcase Key West what about the music and the art? Upper Duval? The MM24 Band was awk!(?) A viewer would have wanted to know where they perform, CD's avail, etc. It seemed like the segment got cut off. The food part was weird too. Hogfish are a great catch and a great eat but it's summer and mahi mahi are around. How bout some mangrove snapper? What about Yellowtails? That would have looked good on TV. It’s lobster mini-season, but there was no mention of it.

Not a lot of prep from what I saw by a multi-million dollar show. I was disappointed in the whole thing. Next year, NBC, please pick a radio host from here that will walk you (by hand if necessary)through KW. Maybe it is just impossible to capsulize KW in a 3 hour show. Maybe next winter. Could you imagine a satellite broadcast from the Keys when a blizzard hits Chicago or the North East? We could get Al drunk again. Matt, I don't know. I liked the Key Colony Beach sign.

If you love or hate Obama please listen to this interview. I hope what I am hearing is a lie.http://fredthompsonshow.com/premiumstream?dispid=320&headerDest=L3BnL2pzcC9tZWRpYS9mbGFzaHdlbGNvbWUuanNwP3BpZD03MzUxJ
nBsYXlsaXN0PXRydWUmY2hhcnR0eXBlPWNoYXJ0JmNoYXJ0SUQ9MzIwJnBsYXlsaXN0U2l6ZT01

Officer Down News http://www.officer.com/article/index.jsp?siteSection=2

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu

Wednesday July 29, 2009

Tuesday July 28, 2009

[Mini Season] Their baaaaaack! Yes those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are here and the Lobster Mobsters are back in town. You may have noticed them gassing up at the local filling station and also gassing up at the local bars in preparation for a fun filled two days on the water in search of the elusive langosta. They come en masse with the obligatory collection of seafaring equipment most important to their quest such as the invaluable boom-box to provide themselves and the neighborhood with all night ear-splitting music, massive coolers filled with Bud Lite and Jose Cuervo (an important adjunct to the all night serenade) and a real, official Lobster Kit from Winn-Dixie. They come complete with the mysterious inability to use a boat ramp without blocking it for an hour while loading their beer filled coolers, the kids, the wife, the family dog, a bucket of Dion’s chicken and the search for the missing boat key that they conveniently left at the rental property that they and the other two crews trashed the night before.

Finally, after taking up three parking spaces for the truck and trailer they’re off for a fun-filled day on the water. Already a six-pack and a couple of tequila shooters into the adventure, our captain weaves down the canal on full plane shouting instructions to the crew and digging in the cooler for another can of Bud--the Holy Grail of the lobster hunter. Arriving at their favorite spot out on the water (clearly identified by the sixteen other boats all fighting over the same coral head) they grab the nets and tickle sticks and over the side they go. No diver down flag? “Forget it, the other boats have one.” The real fun begins when a lone pair of antennae is spotted. Now, with the anticipation of a big surf and turf awaiting them later in the day, they drag themselves, their nets, fins, gauges and gear all over the coral, killing whatever they touch only to find that, after tipping over the coral head, the wily lobster is just too fast for them or maybe it was just a bit too short to keep (assuming that they actually bothered to use the measuring gauge tied to the real, official Winn Dixie Lobster Kit). If luck holds, they may finish the day with a few “keepers,” a sunburn, a hell of a buzz from the Bud and Cuervo used to wash down all of that chicken and enough beer left to get back to the boat ramp. Of course, if they’re real pros, this might have been the third or fourth trip of the day; to hell with bag limits—bragging rights is what it’s all about! Weaving back down the canal to the ramp, again on full plane, the launching fiasco of the morning is repeated in reverse with the addition of a loud, drunken argument with the wife as she tries eight times to back the trailer into the ramp while the captain shouts directions and signals wildly with a can of Bud in one hand and the Cuervo in the other.

Back at the rental, the day wouldn’t be complete without another few hours of music and revelry while the bug tails boil to the consistency of an inner tube, the steaks are on fire, and the captain is dumping the wrung heads in the neighbors trash can to rot and stink.

All good things must come to an end. Our adventurers finally head home with a bent prop, a killer hangover, four savage sunburns, two fighting kids and a dog with projectile diarrhea from eating a bucket of greasy chicken bones. Peace will once again descend on our little island, life will return to a normal pace and mother nature will cry as she sees the destruction of her creation and tries to start the healing process in time for the onslaught again next year. Yep, there’s nothing quite like mini-season.

[54] The number of outboards and lower units stolen so far.

[Creditgate] It looks like our disgraced school board is going to sell the 2 acre Harris School to a developer for half the appraised price. That’s two acres of developable high ground in the middle of old town for half the recently appraised price!

We must get rid of every member of the school board and start fresh. ~unme@aol.com

Mayor Announces $2 Million Shark Key Gift Of Your Money—“Miniscule”!

It’s no surprise that Mayor Neugent once again showed his true colors and total lack of leadership on this issue and this time he really rubbed our faces in it over and over. Let's consider a few facts from his recent letter and, while we are at it, the real truth:

And I quote from our Mayor on July 19th right here on the pages of us The Coconut Telegraph, when he wrote: "I do believe that an error on the BOCC’s part was made, but the cost of that error (.0001% - $2 million) in the grand scheme of things was miniscule compared to the total cost."

Scheme? That sure was an appropriate word to describe what you did Mayor. To see it the way you wrote it last week is troubling and insulting to those of us who know the truth. Your attempts to cover up the truth, to seek protection from your friends at the mighty FKAA and to screw the little people while telling us that's just not the case needs to stop. This is a big, costly, issue and it is impacting people's lives.

I could write for the rest of my life and not say why you lack leadership on wastewater better than you did yourself. Your allegiance to the FKAA, along with Murphy and now Wigington and how little (none really) oversight you demand of their work and costs illustrate how closely you are tied to your 'good partners' as you like to call them at the FKAA. Folks, if you read the Mayor's posting (and re-posting) then you read it correctly. In his own words the Mayor

A) States that an "error" was made by sewering Shark Key
B) Blames the entire BOCC (keep reading) for that "error"
C) Calls the $ 2 million (it has actually cost you and I over $2 million) 'Miniscule compared to the total cost". Miniscule? What's $2 million here, or $2 million there among friends on Shark Key and 'good partners' at the FKAA?

As we consider the Mayor's cover-up, I mean, sewer history lesson, let's now review reality.

George Neugent has served on the BOCC since 1998. I could care less if he serves another 11 years, but I do care how our money is being spent, especially when there are options that could save this County over $100 million. Mayor, Murphy and Wigington have been programmed to carry the FKAA's lies and mismanagement as if they were on FKAA's considerable payroll.

On April 18th, 2007 at the monthly meeting of the Board of County Commissioners a Waster Water update was provided. County minutes state: "After discussion, motion was made by Commissioner Neugent and seconded by Commissioner Spehar granting approval for the FKAA to install a collection system for Shark Key." Mayor, the fact is that you made the motion to sewer Shark Key and thus began what you are now calling a miniscule error giving away $2,000,000 of our money. So much for fiscal responsibility, George. The gig is up, the cat's out of the bag. At the very least you can take responsibility for your own actions and vote.

Mayor Neugent's Shark Key Sewer Project was estimated to cost $1,700,000 in 2007. It now suggests that the cost is at least $2,100,000 or 24% higher than the initial estimate. Who is minding the darn Monroe County Sewer store? They have been left to build what they want, when they want and at whatever cost they like. FKAA, those good partners to Neugent, Murphy and Wigington have stolen millions and millions from us here in Monroe County and what does the Mayor and his new gang do? He tells us how wonderful the FKAA is. What we need is someone with enough leadership to ask the hard questions, not hand out $ 2 million sewer systems to the wealthy and when caught insult us by calling the amount miniscule.

Because of the Mayor's initiative we've spent over $ 2 million dollars for the 37 homes on Sharl Key which set records that make us the laughing stock of the wastewater business from coast to coast. That's about $55,000 per home.

Mayor, might I suggest you meet with the folks in Marathon and Key Largo and ask them how their communities are sewering for $10,000 to $12,000. You can twist the truth in any manner you want, but understand that people are paying attention.

You write that One clear advantage that FKAA has over others is its ability to go on private property. Shark Key was and remains a “cold spot” and Shark Key is a private community of multi million dollar homes. So off you go, selling the benefits of the FKAA rather than being concerned with us regular citizens.

You want to take credit for Key Largo being their own waste water district? Key Largo was faced with such a ridiculous waste water estimates by FKAA that they demanded to be allowed to leave the FKAA plan. George, if you need a 'refresher' on what took place in Key Largo consider how the Key Largo Chamber of Commerce wrote to you and the BOCC over and over asking to support a proposal to create an elected five member Sewer Board of Key Largo residents.

Take a look at grass roots efforts by organizations like the Key Largo Civic Club that in 2001 wrote you and the BOCC and stated they had taken a poll and found that of 37 people at their meeting 34 wanted an elected, local, sewer board and their own system. Why did they want this? It’s because the FKAA would have cost those folks two times what they will now pay. No George, it's not their density or proximity to Miami or whatever you are next going to say or write as an excuse; it is that you are in bed with FKAA.

The BOCC was made to allow Key Largo to leave the FKAA's plan. You exhibited no leadership in seeking a better way for them. You can’s see past your FKAA partners.

How about Marathon? We know you live there, you know all about it, you hate the system, it 'scares' you (fear being an approach your newly groomed protégé Wigington has recently adopted. I can hear it now, let's tell them to fear anything that does not come from the FKAA!). Marathon voters think your concerns are a joke and are only politically motivated. Why? Because your buds at FKAA wanted something like $160 million to sewer Marathon. Deciding that there must be a better way, the folks in Marathon created their own system and will sewer more places than the FKAA had planned for 1/2 the money.

You see George, you can write like you know what you are talking about, you can play politics, but over this issue the dollars are too great and the topic too important to let you do business as usual.

You mention how the Feds and State have let us down. You suggest a sales tax increase (poor leadership in doing things the same ol’ way). Let's consider that perhaps the State and Feds might be fed up with the lack of leadership they see here in Monroe. The EPA thinks the County is a circus. Just ask the ones in DC.

You went to Tallahassee and what do you have for us in the Lower Keys from that journey? Zip. They let us down? No George, they know that you and the BOCC have let us down. The money that was promised went mainly to those systems that are un-related to the FKAA such as Key Largo, Marathon and Key West. Notice a pattern there George?

You, sir, are the laughing stock of the wastewater business and to anyone else educated on this issue. People's futures hang in the balance over this important and costly issue. The people expect you to lead or find someone who can. These are not political words, they are simply the truth. ~Protx@aol.com

AA are a bunch of drunks!

[Dinner with Obama Fable] Once upon a time, I was invited to the White House for a private dinner with the President. I am a respected businessman, with a factory that produces memory chips for computers and portable electronics. There was some talk that my industry was being scrutinized by the administration, but I paid it no mind. I live in a free country. There's nothing that the government can do to me if I've broken no laws. My wealth was earned honestly, and an invitation to dinner with an American President is an honor.

I checked my coat, was greeted by the Chief of Staff, and joined the President in a yellow dining room. We sat across from each other at a table draped in white linen. The Great Seal was embossed on the china. Uniformed staff served our dinner. The meal was served, and I was startled when my waiter suddenly reached out, plucked a dinner roll off my plate, and began nibbling it as he walked back to the kitchen.

"Sorry about that," said the President. "Andrew is very hungry."

"I don't appreciate…" I began, but as I looked into the calm brown eyes across from me, I felt immediately guilty and petty.. It was just a dinner roll. "Of course," I concluded, and reached for my glass. Before I could, however, another waiter reached forward, took the glass away and swallowed the wine in a single gulp.

"And his brother Eric is very thirsty." said the President.

I didn't say anything. The President is testing my compassion, I thought. I will play along. I don't want to seem unkind. My plate was whisked away before I had tasted a bite.

"Eric's children are also quite hungry."

With a lurch, I crashed to the floor. My chair had been pulled out from under me. I stood,brushing myself off angrily, and watched as it was carried from the room. "And their grandmother can't stand for long."

I excused myself, smiling outwardly, but inside feeling like a fool. Obviously I had been invited to the White House to be sport for some game. I reached for my coat, to find that it had been taken. I turned back to the President.

"Their grandfather doesn't like the cold."

I wanted to shout - that was my coat! But again, I looked at the placid smiling face of my host and decided I was being a poor sport. I spread my hands helplessly and chuckled. Then I felt my hip pocket and realized my wallet was gone. I excused myself and walked to a phone on an elegant side table. I learned shortly that my credit cards had been maxed out, my bank accounts emptied, my retirement and equity portfolios had vanished, and my wife had been thrown out of our home. Apparently, the waiters and their families were moving in. The President hadn't moved or spoken as I learned all this, but finally I lowered the phone into its cradle and turned to face him.

"Andrew's whole family has made bad financial decisions. They haven't planned for retirement, and they need a house. They recently defaulted on a subprime mortgage.. I told them they could have your home. They need it more than you do."

My hands were shaking. I felt faint. I stumbled back to the table and knelt on the floor. The President cheerfully cut his meat, ate his steak and drank his wine.

I lowered my eyes and stared at the small grey circles on the tablecloth that were water drops..

"By the way," He added, "I have just signed an Executive Order nationalizing your factories. I'm firing you as head of your business. I'll be operating the firm now for the benefit of all mankind. There's a whole bunch of Erics and Andrews out there and they can't come to you for jobs groveling like beggars."

I looked up. The President dropped his spoon into the empty ramekin which had been his crème brûlée. He drained the last drops of his wine.

As the table was cleared, he lit a cigarette and leaned back in his chair. He stared at me. I clung to the edge of the table as if it were a ledge and I were a man hanging over an abyss. I thought of the years behind me, of the life I had lived. The life I had earned with a lifetime of work, risk and struggle. Why was I punished? How had I allowed it to be taken? What game had I played and lost? I looked across the table and noticed with some surprise that there was no game board between us. What had I done wrong? As if answering the unspoken thought, the President suddenly cocked his head, locked his empty eyes to mine, and bared a million teeth, chuckling wryly as he folded his hands. "You should have stopped me at the dinner roll," he said.

[Steroids] While reading the posts yesterday I have to thank the poster who brought up Pres Bush’s statements on steroids. He was the man who blew up the spot and exposed all the cheaters. Good job Dubya.

[$1500 worth of extended warranties] Those extended warranties are useless, except in the bathroom.

[Assault Weapon with Each New Car] This car dealer in Missouri has an on-going promotion of giving a certificate redeemable for an AK-47 with each vehicle sale. That got the attention of CNN and the offer of an interview. She wasn't prepared for this straight-talking, conservative, values-oriented car dealership owner. Beautiful!

I just love it when a liberal talking-head gets her butt handed to her in an on-air interview.

Car Dealer=1, CNN=0 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icHGSiT1jEw.

[Bad tenant] Don’t even consider having this tenant near your family or anything you own. If you don't have him arrested for your own sake, think about the next people he plans on ripping-off. If you keep him around, it will be you he rips-off again and you know it will be your own fault. Don't be stupid, have this clown arrested. For christ’s sake, you confronted him and he lied right to your face.

[KW Gang] The arraignment for the three juvenile thugs who attacked Tom Milone is scheduled for tomorrow, Wednesday, July 29, at 1:30 PM at the Freeman Justice Center, Courtroom B, 302 Fleming Street, Key West. Please allow for sufficient time to clear security. The arraignment is open to the general public.

Tom will be there and would appreciate the presence of friends and concerned citizens as moral support and to demonstrate the community's interest in the handling and disposition of this criminal case.

I’m hoping to see a full courtroom.

[Criminal Sewer Conspiracy] Doesn't the "It's the cost of living in Paradise" phrase cover the impending sewer situation also? I mean, every other time we have gotten screwed it supposedly has?

[Press 1 for English Song] Over 8 million hits on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEJfS1v-fU0

[Vandenberg Stats] Gathering of statistics is very critical to future of any project. If Mr. Wheeler feels this data is not important to gather the first year right out of the gate then please consider this:
"Dear Mr. Tax man, I did not keep the sales data you felt was important because it is my first year, and that data is not important to me because it has no relevance on my future budgets and forecasting. I don't care what I did in my first year of business. I don't know who I sold to or when or how much it cost or how much I got paid. Do you want me to pay taxes on irrelevant data?" Or " Dear Citizens of Monroe County, we sank the Vandi, and it went to the bottom as planned. However, we have no idea how many people were attracted here to visit the Vandi and the Keys. Although it was broadcast worldwide, and millions of people watched on TV, we did not feel this data was important. Regretfully, we need to ask you for more tax dollars so we can hire an independent consulting firm to conduct a study addressing this matter. It should only cost about $150,000, but don't worry, we'll just add it to taxes and you'll never see or feel it" Yours truly the TDC.

I really hope this is not the case with the Vandi. There are dozens of folks who have put years into this project, and they would like to know if it really is working. I don't believe that Morgan and Mario, et. al. stood behind this project just to say, "Look what I got done". If Mr. Wheeler truly feels first year benchmark data is not important and of little value, then maybe he should have been removed from his position.

This data is needed to decide where future marketing dollars should be spent to attract future Vandi / Keys divers. I would like to feel Mr. Wheeler knows Marketing 101. I'm no marketing genius like Ogilvy, but a few general marketing questions come to mind that should be directed to the local business community:

Are you here to dive the Vandi? Where are you from? How did you hear about the Vandi? Magazines, news, TV, etc. How long are you staying? Where are you staying? How did you arrive? Into what city, airport? Did you rent a car? Do you have friends/relatives here? What do you do for a living? Married/ single here with friends? How many divers in your group? Skill levels?

These are just a few arrival questions and each one has many questions to ask after the initial answer. Is there any type of questionnaire that is out there for Vandi's visitors to fill out? This is the job of TDC. Dive shops, hotels, bars, restaurants, and shops need to have questionnaires on their counters for folks to fill out and give feedback. This info is critical to all Keys businesses for their future marketing and advertising. Get the data now, or any future data is worthless. Please tell me this data is being gathered. If not, the future of the Vandi is truly sunk! Don't sink the Vandi's future for your inability to do your job.

[Lenin] I remember a man by the name of Lenin who in Nov. of 1917 managed to sell a shitload of socialism to a whole nation of Russians, most of whom were illiterate. Newspapers had to be read to crowds, because the average man only stuffed it in his shoes or wrapped fish in it. These poor miserable ignorant people bought the idea of socialist utopia, and suffered for the next seventy years. Untold millions were liquidated, or sent to forced labor camps, mining everything from gold to zinc to fuel the appetite of the socialist monster. Unfortunately the system only worked for a very few. In a society where everyone was equal, some were more equal than others. Most of the people lived in abject poverty.

Now a black Lenin is trying to sell the same load of crap to a nation of educated people. To my surprise, some are swallowing it hook, line, and sinker. Wake up you people, this man is a black racist. He is a liar extraordinaire, and is not to be believed. He will destroy the USA as you have known it. He has surrounded himself with all kinds of crooks and lowlife. I pray to God that He will call him very soon!

The mini-season idiots are here! If you go out on the water don't go to far from your boat while diving because they will run you over. Dive flags mean nothing to them—only getting as many lobsters as they can.

Quit Smoking Now groups starting in Key West in August. Quit Smoking Now will begin two new group sessions in Key West. The first will begin on Monday, August 3 at 6:30 p.m. at WomanKind. The second group will begin on Wednesday, August 5 at 11:30 a.m. at Island Counseling. Each session is approximately one-hour long and runs for six weeks.

Keys AHEC can help you Quit Smoking Now with this free six-week smoking cessation program. The program is available to all smokers who want to quit and provides the tools you need to quit with success and live tobacco free. The Quit Smoking Now program was designed by ex-smokers for those who want to become ex-smokers. Bulletin Board

[Pitcher Pilfer at Pub] You must be delusional. I was there and I admit I missed the beginning, but I came out right away and saw a local holding the son back because he was in everyone's face. He started claiming abuse right away. Nobody hit anyone in the face. There was just some pushing and shoving. The father was being not being a real role model either. There were plenty of witnesses who talked to the police and it was nothing worth pressing charges over.

[Tim from A/C Fix] I can confirm that he has passed on to a better place. He passed peacefully in his sleep, apparent of a heart attack. His shop was a couple doors down from us at the Lawnmowermen in the Big Pine Industrial Center. He will be missed. RIP

[History will prove Mr. Obama to be the most shallow and ineffective President in our history] Do you really think he could be worse than Jimmy Carter? That in itself is a very scary thought. If he get's his way, he may also be the last President in our history. This ship is sinking fast and he's patching the leaks with a drill bit.

[Exercise] I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say, "Look, an exercise stick!"

[Neugent and Sewers] Three consecutive days of running Mayor Neugent's political-speak letter which explains nothing is too much. Methinks he doth protest too much. We know the past and we are still waiting to see what he will do now that he is the Mayor. So far I've not seen any real progress and the group looks and acts like the last group except the gang of three are now all females.

Mayor Neugent, we are still waiting for you to show some leadership!

[Religious cult Alcoholics Anonymous] Get a new meeting list. I think you’re going to the wrong meetings. I’ve never me the kind of people you describe. I’ve only met angry people like you--usually when they first walk through the door. And they usually mellow out with some clarity. But by all means keep doing it your way. It really sounds like it’s working.

Rassmussen reports that G. Bush’s last month in office had him at an approval rating of only 13%. No matter what you say about Obama he may never get that low. The last Republican President set the record for all time low approval ratings. You guys better get to work trying to disgrace Americas President a bit harder. As long as you folks have been trying to destroy America I have faith you can get his ratings lower.

The Today Show is in KW today, Tuesday at 6am. http://fla-keys.com/news/news.cfm?sid=7459

[Obama Bad] I love to hear the people that voted for Obama complain about what he is doing to the United States. I just wish you would have thought about that before you voted for him.

I will pick up the flag and clean it off after the current batch of Republicans who are hoping America fails are done dragging it thru the mud. You don’t like our president and that’s too damn bad. Try and find a sane Republican to run against him. I applaud your "Obama’s not an American" insanity. It shows how right I was voting for President Obama.

Monroe County trying to save downstairs enclosures under stilt homes. Our quest made the Miami Herald. Monroe County trying to save downstairs rooms at stilt homes - Breaking News - MiamiHerald.com

[Iguanas] Sarasota county area puts a $20 bounty on iguanas. One man has bagged 12,000 of them. See what one enlightened Florida area is doing to rid itself of pesky iguanas instead of just complaining. http://www.tampabay.com/features/humaninterest/article1021412.ece

[Family Values] Mykal Carberry, 13, was arrested in Hyannis, Mass and charged with arranging for the murder of his 16-year-old half-brother, Jordan, so that he could take Jordan's place atop the family's prosperous Cape Cod cocaine distribution ring. The boss's job was open following the boys' father's recent imprisonment.

[Pitcher Pincher] I bet that drunken family tipped lousy too; further incurring the bartender’s wrath.

[Tenants Suck] Just the fact that you are asking information like this on this site instead of a real estate attorney shows you’re in trouble.

Start your own business selling square fruit. http://square-watermelons.com/

[Hoping for the failure of an American President is unpatriotic] Only when said by a Republican and referring to a Democrat, I guess. I have vivid memories of Bush-bashing, and not just on a personal basis.

Stunning images of Endeavour and ISS in transit across the Sun.

Bagel Island will be open this Thursday for the lobster mobsters.

[Texas Survivor] Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style." The contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down to Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso, Midland, Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo. From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that reads: "I'm Gay," "I love the Dixie Chicks," "Boycott Beef," "I Voted for Obama," "George Strait Sucks," "Hillary in 2012" and "I'm here to confiscate your guns"

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins. God bless Texas!

[Sandy Stalker] I find it amusing that some people are refusing to accept the validity of the Sandy Downs stalking story. As you can see from the attached report, it is a legitimate police report. And it is public record. Anyone can request a copy from KWPD, case no. 01-09-003841. Police Report

[Howard and the MM24 Gang] Just to answer those that have asked since the last email blast, yes, we really did loose a wheel on the equipment trailer, and yes, the wheel really did roll down the road beside the bus! I promise I'll get all the fun (?) details out soon, along with other goodies from our travels!!

Until then, may the tides always pull you back! "See" you on the Today Show this morning.

[Are statistics being gathered on Vandenberg divers] Why should there be? The sinkers sank the ship, got paid for doing so, and are probably laughing all the way to the bank. They could care less how many people dive the wreck. You have been conned folks, again. Oh, does it hurt a itty bitty bit?

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Tuesday July 28, 2009

Monday July 27, 2009

[Pitcher Pinch] Saturday night at the Looe Key Tiki Bar we we're royally screwed by the employees and police officers responding to the scene. After a long night we decided to get up and leave the bar, breaking a pitcher along the way. To cover our mistake we took the pitcher with us (which admittedly, wasn't a great idea) and we're then hassled by the bartender to return it--and rightfully so.

After returning the pitcher we we're then subjected to a beating by the friends of the bartender. A young man in his twenty's walked over towards a man in his 60's and started pushing and shoving him into a car, accusing him of stealing a pitcher. The young man then repeatedly pounded the elderly man until I came and tried to defend him--subjecting myself to a beating of my own by a man, easily twice my size. All this was forced upon us by the bartender of the tiki bar. After the fight was broken up, the man's girlfriend ran over and punched the sixty year old man in the face two to three times as he stood there helpless.

This created a scene where the cops showed up because the bleeding victim's daughter called for them. The victim was not treated as a victim. The cops rudely accused and interrogated us making us out to be at fault; when in fact, we were approached and assaulted by a complete stranger. The cops let the assailant and his girlfriend stand there and laugh while we had to fill out long and tedious reports about the incident. While we were filling out the forms the assailant changed his shirt and proceeded to walk right back into the bar with his girlfriend while we we're still outside being treated like criminals. As well as being pushed by one of the officers for "looking at him sulkingly" we had two sober witnesses with us that told the officers exactly what had happened. Yet the couple that violently attacked walked away without so much as a slap on the wrist.

How can the Tiki Bar condone such actions by their employees? Having the bartender’s cronies beat a young man and his elderly father, for admittedly trying to cover up an accident by taking a broken pitcher with them? This type of behavior by the Tiki Bar and the police can not, and will not go unnoticed. These acts of the couple were egregious and completely repulsive. I have lived here for 20 years and have never seen a more reprehensible act go unpunished.

All this is condoned by an establishment meant to provide an atmosphere to enjoy time in the Keys. I used to swim here in the 90s when the pool was open to everyone. I remember many times spending my hard earned money becoming a regular of the place when my Dad worked for Kraus Construction. Our good time turned into a regrettable event because of a broken pitcher we tried to take, and undoubtedly by the actions of the bartender and his cronies (not to mention the officers who treated the victims as criminals and the criminals as saints).

This is not a rant, it is a factual statement seen by plenty of sober witnesses. The actions by the Tiki Bar, the violent couple, and the officers, will not go without notice and repercussions.
~ Eyestorm5@aol.com

Who got this preacher going? White folks will riot. ~Pastor Manning http://nalert.blogspot.com/2009/07/white-folks-will-riot-pastor-manning.html

[Religious cult Alcoholics Anonymous] Lucid, yes I am very lucid. I don’t think you are if you believe the bullshit dogma that AA preaches. With a success rate of less than 3 attendees out of 100 during their first year of attendance is worse than the death rate of the Bataan death march. That is why common sense would tell you the AA is total bullshit. Just exactly where in the AA literature does it tell you how to stop drinking and drugging? The only mention of alcohol is in step 1 where you admitted you were powerless over alcohol. That’s it. The remainder of the 12 steps is just a lot of mumbo jumbo, blah-blah-blah, and hog wash leading you towards being a converted Christian. Try saying “I’m Kander, an alcoholic and I’m a Buddhist” at a meeting and see what happens. This follows along the lines of the 5 Cs of conversion from the original religious Oxford Group. The big book (page 64) also states that liquor is only a symptom of your disease. The Big Book tells you that you have a moral sin disease.

So, if you just quit having low morals and stop sinning, confess, take inventories of your defects of character, make amends, turn your will over to God, God will lift the burden of drink from you. More AA bullshit. God doesn’t pour liquor down your throat or inject you with drugs. You did it to yourself. Saying you have a disease that you inherited from your family gene pool is just a cop-out for you being such a low life. Get off the pity potty. And that’s how it is. Good night.

[Republicans Un-American] I never thought there was much difference in political parties until Obama got elected. The Republicans, under the de facto leadership of Rush Limbaugh, are focused on destroying the President. Recently a member of Congress was bragging that Obamacare will be his Waterloo! Hoping for the failure of an American President is an unpatriotic thing to say. Republicans think that patriotism is what we feel only when we go to war.

The Republicans are against healthcare reform and anything else that will make this nation better. They have no plan so far and would just as well let the millions of those without healthcare die or lose their possessions. I can’t think of any plan for anything they’ve come up with since Reagan was President, except to cut taxes for the wealthy. That is their solution for all our ills. That “solution” has proven to be the problem.

Just Wondering
Why can't I sell my kids?
What happened to all the Bush and Clinton jokes?
Can cell phones record the conversation?
Will man made veggies be square to fit in the box?
Is the government taking over the food markets?
Why do we put up with bad tap water?
Which US cities do Muslims control?
Can passports self-destruct?
Should I cull my neighbor today?
Will trucks get better millage too?

[Baby Boomers] If you are like me, you will identify with this song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yN-6PbqAPM&feature=related

[From the Right] A couple of days ago Mr. Obama crowed that the American Medical Association (AMA) was backing his Socialized Medicine initiative. I’ve got to confess that as a Right Winger, I was stunned. To me the AMA, really an old brand, has had great influence and believability. I had always thought that it truly was the voice of American physicians. Bunk! Donkey Hockey! I was flat wrong about the ANA. I just learned that only about 20% of practicing physicians who are clinicians are members. Further, that that number is rapidly declining. Simply put, that means that less than one in four Doctors who actually have or see patients are members of the AMA. That really was a huge surprise. I never realized it but many M.D.s are involved only in research, or activities ancillary to the delivery of health care. They just don’t deal with patients or patients’ needs. Basically they are just wage slaves. Just the other day Sermo.com (USA’s largest online patient healthcare community) did a poll of over 10K doctors/clinicians. That survey showed that 95% of them said that the AMA does not speak for them, plus 94% of these Doc’s oppose the current bill. There is little doubt that the Obama juggernaut is losing steam. Even Obama’s personal physician, Dr. David Scheiner, opposes the current bill (he’s for a single payer system}. As of Sunday, Obama’s popular support had plummeted, now only 44% of us had warm feelings for the Obama plan, while 53% now oppose it. Yesterday Rasmussen reported that his Presidential Approval Index had plummeted to minus

(Part II) Our President has refined the act of apology into a near art form. He’s apologized to Native Americans for the predations of the nasty Caucasian European conquerors. He’s championed the apology of all European Americans to all persons of color for the actions of the ancestors of the European Americans who permitted slavery. He’s personally apologized to the people of nations across the globe for what he considers to be the global misdeeds of American leadership prior to his administration. And yet he just can’t find it himself to apologize for his absolutely wrong and patently biased statements about the Cambridge Police. Obama’s words spread world wide: “The Cambridge Police acted stupidly”. This after he had confessed he didn’t know the facts and that he had a personal and friendly relationship with Gates. Even after the facts were known, the best Obama could muster was that “I could have calibrated my words better”. Then, with amazing hubris, he denigrated the press for reporting on his appalling judgment and hypocrisy. History will prove Mr. Obama to be the most shallow and ineffective President in our history, we’ve all seen the beginning of his failures. Only his hypocrisy will be legend.

[British Survey] A recent survey in the United Kingdom asked the following question: Are there too many foreigners in this country now? Answer: 18% said: Yes

82% said:

[George Neugent] Getting famous or what? http://www.bing.com/search?q=%22george+neugent%22&src=IE-SearchBox

Do you have anti-gun Democratic friends who don't seem quite as 'joyous' as they were after the election of the "Great One"? Maybe they're worried about their 'security' at home with the increasing "residential crime" they've been reading about. As well, they may now realize that the police can't be everywhere to protect them within seconds. Well, here's good news for them. Smith & Wesson has just announced a new handgun designed just for that person who is unfamiliar with (and possibly afraid of) handguns, and yet wants to have adequate home protection: The SW18044L ('L' signifies 'liberal')

You'll note that this handsome, powerful weapon is a "commemorative model" which proudly bears the Democratic Donkey and a large capital D. Tell your liberal friends to be sure to get their orders in early because they're sure to be in high demand.

[Gates' Arrest] After reading the beginning of the police report concerning the Harvard educator I have one question. At the beginning when the officer asked him for his I.D. and the Professor showed it to him why didn’t the officer leave? It proved it was his home--case closed.

It seems the trouble started after the officer was shown the I.D. What else did the police need? Our homes are not our homes anymore. I would expect the police to leave my Grandmothers house immediately after they were shown it was her home. No need to be so thin-skinned that an old man or woman becomes a threat to you. So much for the higher standards expected of officers. Of course we know that from the ones down here. Sexual lawsuits, officers running drugs, suicides, etc.

I understand how upset the Party of No is over Obama sticking up for his friend because I felt the same way when President Bush stepped in and gave us his comments concerning steroids in baseball. Both presidents should have kept their mouths closed. Neither party has the market on stupid human tricks.

Now here’s a wedding entrance! And this is before they started drinking. It’s the most popular video on the internet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

[Tenants Suck] The guy we rent the guest house to stole a check of ours. My husband asked if I forgot to enter a check. When I checked on line to see what had cleared, I found the missing check with my “signature” on it for $100. The tenant must have traced it from a rent receipt made out to him. It would have been smarter for him to have made it out to cash, but I guess he thought we were too stupid to check our checks on line. John confronted him and he came up with a cockamamie story about someone stealing his checks and drivers license; and they must have made out check to him so they could cash a stolen check. I said it didn't explain how the thief could have gotten our check in the first place (but bad people have a bogus story for everything).

We pretended we believed him because we don't know what to do. I called the police and the cop said if the guy was in jail we would be without rent. What should we do? He still owes us the security deposit that he promised to give us 4 months ago. How do we get someone out with time left on the lease? Do we just have to wait for the lease to expire?

[Are statistics being gathered on Vandenberg divers] According to a newspaper article published a few days after the sinking, the answer is no. No one knows and no one is keeping any facts, numbers or figures.

Outrageous you say. Absolutely, I agree, but according to the TDC’s head, Harold Wheeler, there's no reason to collect data in the first year because the information would not mean anything because it's the first year and would not be any good.

What convoluted, non-logical, unreasonable nonsense. Of course you want to collect all the first year data you can get your hands on. That initial data will set a benchmark for future years; data that can be used to adjust advertising and marketing plans. But most importantly it could be used to inform citizens what's happening to a private project paid for with public funds. Name me any business who does not keep track of their first year's finances.

Is it possible that the real reason Mr Wheeler said no is because he, like everybody else, knows there are no measurement methods in place to track anything. The county didn't drop the ball, it just never developed the ball. This whole thing happened in a vacuum of non-accountability.

Commissioner DiGennaro, you claim to be such an astute businessman. Would you start a new factory, or open a new trailer park without keeping track of money in, money out and money left over at the end of the day? You said many times that you are a good businessman and that sinking the Vandenberg would bring in money. Because of Mr Wheeler's direction, there's no way to prove you right or wrong. I hope you did not have any part of Mr Wheeler's decision.

If data were to be collected, then the project’s viability would be there for everybody to see. The question, was this the right thing to do? would be definitively answered, and we’d finally know if DiGennaro was right or wrong. Maybe that's a good enough reason not to collect any data. Hopefully, I'm the only one thinking of that possibility.

It's not too late. Mr Wheeler and Mr DiGennaro - start collecting the data now. This is not rocket science. You will never have this opportunity again. Do you want to be hearing at this time next year "Too bad we didn't collect any data the first year?"

Come on. Get your politics out of your armpits. Do the right thing. I want to know how much that folly is bringing in to the county. I want whoever's profiting from this folly to start paying back the taxpayers. This thing was supposed to bring in millions. I want to see that happening – now - starting today!

More than 20,000 take to streets to protest Johnnie Walker plant closure - Telegraph

[Gates’ Arrest] I am not sure what happened in this issue with the Washington cop, but it seems to me that Mr Gates was out of line. Time and time again blacks scream racial profiling and it is all about racial issues, when in this case it was a blatant lack of respect and paranoia by Mr. Gates that caused the trouble. If that man is in charge with teaching the next generation then he needs to be removed. Blacks need to get over themselves. When I am stopped by an officer of the law for breaking it, it be comes a "Yes Sir, No Sir" time in my life. Showing respect gets you a lot further in life then mouthing off. It is "stupid" for this society to think that they do not have to respect authority, be it their parents, teachers, or police. We have become a selfish society with no awareness of anyone else. I believe our President showed poor judgment in his remark and revealed an even deeper side to who he really is.

Deer Ed, What is George Neugent paying you to re-post his same post every day? Tell me, and I'll pay you one more to stop posting his spiel.

Dear County Attorney Hutton, Did you know county commissioners are above following your county policy about county employees posting on Coconut Telegraph (which is don't do it)? Or at least one of them thinks he is. That sure sets a fine example of leadership for the county employees who resist hitting the send button using a county computer. (Do you smell a FOIA(?) in the air for violation of county policy?)

(Ed: Nothing, it's a public service. The sewers are such a big thing that I thought the person ultimately in control of their installation should have a very good chance of being read by the citizens and his critics. A couple of months ago Mayor Neugent wrote another post to the Coconut Telegraph trying to answer his critics. He made an effort to try to explain comments that are flying around about the sewers. I didn’t think enough people read it.

The longer critics are ignored by the criticized, the more realistic those criticisms seem to be. I thought more people should see this latest post more than just on one day. We’re posting it for three days so more folks would read it.)

[Extended Warranty] Sears sucks. Buyer beware. In Feb. of last year I went to Sears and purchased a new drill/driver. I also purchased the extended 2 year warranty for an additional charge. I didn’t think much of it because I have purchased many tools and always buy the warranty. I have taken many back without a hitch and had them replaced when they broke. To my surprise they won’t honor the warranty anymore. So to make a long story short, it pissed me off to know I am sitting here with about $1500 worth of extended warranties that aren't worth the paper there printed on. Nice, huh.

[AA] I went to a meeting once, but was turned off by the Christian atmosphere and prayer to God. It is a very good organization and has helped many Christians over the years, but I’m not a Christian, I'm an atheist. I told my sponsor that and he said AA isn't Christian and I should pray to my God. I told him I don't believe in god, I'm an atheist. Being a Christian, he just couldn't understand the thought.

[Cops Stupid] Obama sent a message to all law enforcement: Don't you dare arrest any of my black friends or I will call you stupid on national television.

That statement he made was a rookie move from a real rookie. We are all in big trouble here.

Space Station http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/06/recent_
scenes_from_the_iss.html

Toyota commercial—how it’s done. The Making of “Harmony” http://www.toyota.com/prius-hybrid/commercial.html

The price of children. Slide Show

[

Iguana Cook Book] A Floridian has written and published a cook book on what to do with that pesky, non-native lizard after you dispatch him or her. Restaurants up and down the Keys will be offering Lizard Kabobs, Burgers, Fritters and (move over New England) Lizard Chowder. The cook book can be ordered online. This is must have for anyone who collects cookbooks. www.iguanacookbook.com

[Free Speech] Somebody criticized the remarks about Cubans and Mexicans the other day.
Seems to be a trend to hate people who come into this country: not a new trend.
Over turn everything to suit their life styles: work.
Disregard the laws: hypocrite.
Trash out every area they move into: what areas do you clean up?
Demand every service and finance for free: people naturally look for deals.
Produce nothing to support themselves: sweat equity.
Then try to rule the American people by controlling our government: are you saying you are powerless and impotent?
This is a very likable trend that should be expanded to free America from these invaders asap: it's likable to be hateful, powerless and impotent?

You are looser!

Why not have an online charity to help us pay for the sewers? We could start a web page introducing the problem, post it internationally and ask people to contribute $1, or what ever, to help. Or sell memberships for $1 and get a 10% discount on travel to Key West and the Keys. What can we sell? The school board, the marl, what?

[Cop Cars] I look for cars driven by shaved-headed, overweight guys. There are three types of guys who shave their heads: bald guys who can and look good, wannabe thugs and cops. Take a look, especially on the mainland. It's like a cop cult--pudgy to fat, shaved head and usually suffering from PTSD after being picked on in high school.

Venus outshines all else in the eastern sky as dawn begins. Mars is more on a par with some of the bright stars in this early preview of "winter" constellations

[Arrested in Own House] How is the police officer supposed to know that is your house? He asked for ID and the idiot was reluctant to provide it. When he finally did, that's when the sergeant decided to leave because he was able to check everything out. I would hope if someone broke into my house, the responding police would double-check who the people are. Now that all the "victims" realized they were wrong, (i.e. Gates, Obama), now they want to sue and have beers together. Isn't it cute? I'm sure if a white man broke into Gates' house and the sergeant treated the white man like he did Gates, Gates would be applauding. Everyone now needs to move on.

[County Healthcare] New Notice: 7/23/09 Group Health Plan Changes
After further consideration, no changes pertaining to the Group Health Insurance Plan will be presented by staff to the BOCC for the meeting scheduled for July 24^th at 10:00 a.m.

Previous notice: 7/8/09 Group Health Plan Changes
After further consideration, no changes pertaining to the Group Health Insurance Plan will be presented by staff to the BOCC for the meeting scheduled for July 13^theat 2:00 p.m.

Regardless of what kind of Group Health plan is in place, how much longer will the free ride go on for county employees before the BOCC (elected by county taxpayers) steps up and tells county staff to tell county employees to start paying for their own health insurance?

Same bucket, but it’s just filled by county employees instead of county taxpayers.

Maybe if the county employees had to pay for it themselves, the county would do a legitimate, comprehensive and actuarial sound search for the best health insurance coverage and premiums. For their final decision to be valid, the evaluations need to be done by non-county people, capable of being objective.

Every dollar the taxpayer contributes to pay the employees’ health insurance should be paid by the employees themselves. This change does not diminish the hard work done by the county employees. But it does recognize that the taxpayers can not afford the burden of paying for county employees’ health insurance.

To the employees on the lower rungs of the county job ladder - here's the next scenario. You will be unemployed, because management would rather sacrifice you to make the inevitable cuts and protect their free insurance status, than pay out of their pockets for their health insurance. Believe it, county employees who are in a position to make the change, won’t because they know the county will lay you off, slap their hands together and say budget problem solved. Remaining employees will still have their health insurance paid for by the taxpayers, but the amount will be smaller because there are fewer employees.

To county management: Make the hard choice. Do what’s right for the taxpayers and all the county employees. Make the change. Collect the county health insurance dollars from the county employees instead of the county taxpayers. You will not be popular among the employees, but you will be loved by the taxpayers and the employees that do not have to be laid off.

That’s the choice – everybody pays and everybody stays; or free insurance and fewer employees.

Stay tuned to the county website’s home page for their next announcement regarding Group Health Insurance. The longer staff does not present to the BOCC, the shorter the length of time before the county starts laying off workers.

[Porn star with Electoral Dysfunction] “I’ve been nominated by a group whose name I’ve never even heard of,” she said, adding that the scandal could ruin her reputation after spending several years trying to establish herself as a serious artist. “I’m really irritated,” Porn star suffers from electoral dysfunction - The Local

It’s Mini Season! Bagel Island will be open Thursday July 30th from 7am-2pm. We’re usually closed on Thursday, but in order to get you Buggers coffeed and fed, we’ll be opening this Thursday. See you there bright and early!

[Healthcare] Why not get healthcare for the 7% of the people (legal Americans only) or whatever the percentage is and leave all of the others alone. Did anyone ever think of that? What a concept?

Why would Winn Dixie post a bill board of an egg bearing lobster on US1?

If you don't support our troops - feel free to stand in front of them.

There is no voting pattern! Neugent-George@monroecounty-fl.gov

[Take care of our Vietnam heroes] Sure, I agree with that. How about taking care of all the Vietnamese farmers we used chemical warfare on also? There are tens of thousands of innocent children suffering a horrible existence right now. Their pain or poor health is compounded by their abject poverty. We are so self-righteous and hypocritical.

[Outboard Motor Thefts in the Keys] Did anyone happen to notice the appearance of a number of 200+hp motors for sale on Craigslist in Miami?
http://keys.craigslist.org/boa/1288272258.html
http://keys.craigslist.org/boa/1288271040.html
http://keys.craigslist.org/boa/1288237007.html

If Obama is the answer it must have been a stupid question. Obama’s last day is 01/20/2013.

Ma and Pa Kettle explain the bailout plan. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vhRtXBBPNQ

[Impersonating a real police officer] Well, good for him, but it wasn't a real police report and if he did post it, it was a very unprofessional thing to do.

Meanwhile back at the GOP headquarters, reaction to Sara Palin resigning. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svf0vhVZ3Fo

[Religious cult Alcoholics Anonymous] AA has worked for me. I drank too much and too often. I could stop for months then out of the clear blue I would start up again. I just could not let it go. It's no big deal. AA is just a bunch of folks from all walks of life that would like to make a change and stop drinking. What ever happens after that is … well, whatever happens. I have not felt seen or felt any thing at AA except help and fellowship, if I want it. No papers to sign, no dues to pay, no “our way” or the highway.

How about this? If it didn’t work I would not be there. I have nothing in common with the folks in AA except my want to not drink. It's all so very simple. Take what you want and leave the rest. I all most forgot--be nice. I’m 12 years clean and sober.

If Palin is president the only thing that will happen is the rich will get richer and the rest of the Country will stagnate like it did under Nixon, Regan, and the Bushes. We might as well put Paris Hilton in there for all the good it will do. She looks good too.

The National Debt Road Trip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5yxFtTwDcc

In response to the “Criminal Sewer Conspiracy” comments on Sunday the 19^th. This individual should identify his or herself so as to be held accountable for the misinformation.

Anyone who has been paying attention to the ongoing sewering saga of the Keys should know quite well that this has been an evolutionary process. The genesis was the Florida State Legislature creating FS99-395. A law that produced a one billion dollar unfunded mandate (economic burden) upon the residents of Monroe County by demanding that all of Monroe County (including municipalities) install the necessary infrastructure to treat wastewater to Advanced Wastewater Treatment (AWT) levels. That was a good idea at the time, but now as things unfold, the huge unintended consequence of cost, without subsidy, will force many of our residents out of the Keys. The cost, that was supposed to be subsidized by our Fed and State partners, is unacceptable to the Lower Keys if it is strictly to be borne by the residents.

The elected officials of the county and municipalities have been wrestling with this challenge before I was elected to serve on the Board of County Commissioners. Since becoming a commissioner we always seem to have had one Alpha Commissioner who felt compelled to meddle in the FKAA’s business – Nora, Murray, Sonny and, hence, we find ourselves not as far along as we should be. However, while the BOCC and its partner FKAA continue to wrestle with implementation, our less committed partners (Feds and State) fall very short on their promises of assisting financially. Us residents have lived up to our end of the bargain knowing this is the right thing to do, only to find the State and Feds shirking in their responsibility.

Since the production of the Monroe County Wastewater Master Plan was produced (CH2MHill Engineering, Inc.) and accepted by the BOCC numerous changes to the Plan have taken place.

The BOCC established the Key Largo Wastewater District. It was established to deal with sewering in the Upper Keys. The BOCC funded the Key Largo project along with the Big Coppitt Project with $40 million of infrastructure dollars while designing a formula to bring an additional $30 million of Federal money to Key Largo.

The Board of County Commission is undeniably and without question the responsible party for successfully hooking up more Equivalent Development Units (EDUs) and removing more nutrients from near-shore waters than anyone in Monroe County. It is the BOCC’s responsibility.

One large modification to the Plan, about several years ago by the FKAA was to include, under the umbrella of Advanced Wastewater Treatment, as many developed properties (within economic reason) as possible. This included those somewhat isolated and remote areas like Shark Key and No Name Key. It becomes more expensive because of less density which requires more pipes to be laid to distant areas. However, the benefit is an economy of scale for operation and maintenance while providing a greater degree of treatment to the effluent than would be received outside of AWT boundaries.

And yes, in hindsight we should have required a greater degree of financial participation by these higher cost areas in the system development charge. In not doing so with Shark Key, I do believe that an error on the BOCC’s part was made. But, the cost of that error (.0001% - $2 million) in the grand scheme of things was miniscule compared to the total cost. That is a number that pales in comparison to how much was foolishly spent on funding, with our infrastructure money, the $2 million Vandenberg and the $3.2 million Hickory House (which I adamantly and outspokenly opposed). That money alone would have allowed us to have completed the Duck Key project.

As for friends on Shark Key? You’d have to point one out for me. I’m not sure I have any that live on Shark Key. I certainly have constituents and acquaintances, but not “friends.”

During the time you speak of the Gang of 3 were running things quite tightly as you well know, but you state that, “George made this sail right through and pass.” George couldn’t, at that time, or at this time, make anything sail right through. (Is my accuser so out of touch or just making a weak attempt at being political?)

One clear advantage that FKAA has over others is its ability to go on private property. Ask the residents of projects where the Aqueduct Authority has installed systems. That’s a good thing.

As for the demeaning comments made about Mrs. Wigington, I did not bring Mrs. Wigington to any event, speak on her behalf or contribute to her campaign. In hindsight, all the candidates could have stayed home. (You must be mistaking me for someone else; or weakly attempting again, to be political.) I think Mrs. Wigington’s election success was reflected in who she chose to run against. The mandate Mrs. Wigington, Ms. Carruthers and Mr. Rojas received in those elections were no less than 60+% of the vote. I can’t take credit for their big win. Dixie and Sonny deserve all the credit, not me. It was accurately stated by Mr. Rojas when someone congratulated him on his victory, “I think a ham sandwich could have won.”

Marathon and Key Largo are not sewering for $10 – $12K per home, unless you include the subsidies applied. They certainly have clear advantages in construction and mobilization cost because Marathon and Key Largo are dense areas and more compact than the rest of the Lower Keys which are rural in nature.

Recent attempts to misrepresent facts are quite easily explained and refuted by me. Let’s meet in the public eye and discuss them. Your comments about 5 – 6 firms that want to save the county $100 million is naïve, bogus and manure-spreading at its best. Do you honestly think the FKAA and its Board is trying to screw or short-change the residents of this county? Your comments are political. Can’t you at least act like you’ve got a “pair” and admit that they are, and who you are? Don’t you know that to be credible you have to be honest? But you can’t be honest and still spread your message.

A “crime has been committed”. Please explain the crime for us. You state unequivocally that a crime has been committed. You owe me an explanation.

The Commission is made up of 5 independent thinking commissioners. This independent thinking is reflected in the current voting pattern--in that there is no voting pattern! Neugent-George@monroecounty-fl.gov

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Monday July 27, 2009

Sunday July 26, 2009

[Bad Drinking Water] Don’t drink the water, the fish f**k in it!” ~W.C. Fields

[DC Cop Stupid] I am Independent. I am neither left-wing nor right-wing, so do not label me as a "righty" for speaking out against Obama. This issue with the black Harvard professor should have never been commented on by the President. Now that most of the details are out, it is obvious that it was not a racial issue, especially since the cop was trying to leave the property when the professor escalated the situation. We have a career white cop with an exemplary record and a black professor that has dined with Obama in the past. Obama jumped the gun and was wrong for saying the cops acted "stupidly." What's worse, in Obama's so-called apology, he blamed the media for sensationalizing his comments and then continued to comment that the cops overreacted. How do you sensationalize a comment that the cops acted "stupidly?" Shame on Obama for even getting involved. He should have held comment until all the facts were exposed.

Are the gates at Port Pine Heights to keep people out or keep the residents in?

[Healthcare] Top ten indicators that your employer has changed to a cheaper health care plan:
10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
9) Directions to your doctor's office include "take a left when you enter the trailer park."
8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" at Roto-Rooter.
6) The only item listed under preventive care coverage is "an apple a day."
5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to goodwill last month.
4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.
3) The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little m's on them.
1) When you ask for Viagra they give you a popsicle stick and duct tape.

Thank you all who sent in birthday wishes for Dana. I spoke with her and read them all to her and will get her a copy of them. She was very thankful. Today (Saturday) I had an actual conversation with her for the first time since her accident. She was surprisingly happy. She is still confused regarding some things, but is showing great improvement. Thank you everyone, I really do appreciate it.

[Tim A/C Fixer] I heard he was dead, Who would know, in this freak show of a place, nothing is mentioned in the papers, or on any County sites, or the coroners site. You just die and they cart you off like Carlos and Alloy. I could name many more, This is really a weird place. Maybe he’s just off to Costa Rica or Cuba banging his balls off! I hope so. I hope I’m wrong about him being dead, but he looked pretty rough the last time I saw ole Timmy. Does anybody really know? Hello Stupidville.

Police report for Harvard Professor’s arrest in D.C. Stupid? You be the judge. http://www.amnation.com/vfr/Police%20report%20on%20Gates%20arrest.PDF

[Politics] There's nothing I hate more than discussing politics. The reason is that nobody listens to the other side. No Democrat ever agrees with anything a Republican does, and vice versa. It really is funny how politics enables common sense to go right out the window.

President Obama chimed in on the police arresting Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates, Jr. He said the officers acted "stupidly." Really? Did they act as "stupidly" as he did by associating with Reverend Wright? And then when it came out how insane Wright was, Obama "stupidly" acted like he never heard any of those insane rants.

[Killing] When I purchase lobsters from any fish market they are already dead so I don’t have to give any thought about their execution. I can concentrate on preparation and presentation. It’s the same way when I purchase chicken or steaks. They have already been slaughtered and butchered. Reading all the posts about how to cook a lobster in a humane way is ludicrous.

If you think about how people talk about putting their pets ‘down’, that is like putting icing on horse shit. They will say something like they had Fluffy put to ‘sleep’ because she was old and suffering. Pooch was on his last legs so we had him ‘euthanized’. Kitty was suffering from some type of terminal heart disease. Why don’t they just speak the truth? They should state “We had Fluffy/Pooch/Kitty executed by lethal injection.” The pet injected is conscious without being able to move or speak, thus giving the impression of serenity or tranquility. The injection gives a false impression of serenity to its loving owners, making execution by injection more palatable and acceptable to the pet’s masters. The family pet died from “chemical asphyxiation.” Just remember that you are also getting old and soon will be on your last legs and suffering from some terminal disease. It is like boiling lobsters. Except that lobsters are not loving family pets or elderly family members.

The major problem with tossing them alive into a pot of scalding boiling water is they will sometimes freak out and start making strange noises. This is why all critters to be executed must be calmed before execution can take place. They may freak out and begin flopping, kicking, thrashing and flipping around and this can be very disconcerting to the executioner. They have sometimes been known to jump out of the death chamber pot. So, if you are ever asked how you did kill the lobsters, just state “we executed the live lobsters by boiling them to death.” If all this sounds too cruel or gruesome, you could stick them in the freezer for 15-20 minutes and freeze them to death. Frozen lobsters go into the pot a whole lot easier. So, go out during mini lobster season, enjoy being with family and friends, have a great time, catch your limit, take your catch home and enjoy your delicious boiled lobsters. That’s the way it is.

[Bloody Cross] Does anyone remember when Joppa Furniture used to make furniture on Eaton Street some years ago? The City was trying to get him to stop manufacturing in a residential zone and he thought it was religious persecution—go figure! One morning driving by his store everyone saw that he had hung a giant cross in front of his business. The cross was swathed in a big bloody sheet. The distraught Joppa said he had a dream and that God told him to hang a bloody cross in front of his store. Mr Joppa moved to Kennedy Drive where he makes custom furniture.

Moral: Never trust anyone who thinks they talk to God.

[Sewers] Sorry George, it wasn't me, the awful speller, that has been ditching you on your sewer fiasco. What I think is people are so familiar with your back stabbing antics that maybe some of that mess has filtered into the sewer thing. Just a thought. ~salkeylargo@keylargokey.com

Family History Centers are branch facilities of the Family History Library in Salt Lake City. Centers provide access to most of the microfilms and microfiche in the Family History Library to help patrons identify their ancestors. Everyone is welcome to come to the centers and use Family History Center resources. http://www.familysearch.org/Eng/Library/FHC/frameset_fhc.asp?PAGE=library_fhc_find.asp

Will you tax protestors vote yes and support the sales tax increase for sewers? Do you also feel it’s fine that our full time citizens will be paying the hook-up charges for people that are only here 3 months of the year? Do you homeowners that have children in the school system feel it’s right that people without kids in school are paying school taxes for your kids’ education when they don’t have kids? I only use the school tax example because it is a separate tax that could be added to only families with students in school.

Rain, is it live or Memorex? Video

[Neugent on Sewers] Thanks for the update and taking the time to inform us about this complicated and divisive issue.

Please vote for # 39 who’s a local Cudjoe Key, Old English Sheepdog, Scoobie Doo 2. Peacekeeper Jeannie's fuzzy kid. It cost $1 a vote, 5 vote minimum. Keysnews.com Cutest Pet Contest- Proceeds to benefit NEWSPAPERS IN EDUCATION

Mayor Neugent's answer about Sewering Shark Key on Friday and Saturday was very interesting. He talked about the history of this event. One important detail was left out. Mayor Neugent, please give me a simple yes or no answer and not just a long political answer where you just talk about the subject. So, yes or no, did you vote for a resolution that approved using County (taxpayer) money to pay for sewer pipes that went past the guard house and were on private property on Shark Key?

Counting on FEMA to help you? Read this. Report: FEMA Mishandled Toxins in Trailers | CommonDreams.org .

The world’s largest swimming pool. Video results for san alfonso del mar

[Urinals] I wonder why FKAA doesn’t encourage the use of urinals in homes. They could save a lot of water especially if there is a beer-drinking man in the house.

[Swine Flu] 5 million Floridians probably will catch swine flu within a year if it continues to spread like it is.

[Do not give local tap water to your dogs, cats or birds] We have a filter on the cold water in the kitchen sink and the refer’s ice maker. It works real well. The water taste good.

[Muggings] One more thing in common about the recent slew of muggings by teens in Key West besides race is that the newspaper prints their names. I thought minors under 18 years old couldn’t have their names made public.

[Arrested for impersonating a real police officer] That person happens to be a "real" police officer. I know him personally. I don't know if he's the one who submitted that post, but he is very real. Perhaps you shouldn't write something you're not sure about.

[Greatest Tank Battle Ever] The battle of Kursk was the largest tank battle in history and the decisive battle of the WWII. Kursk happened in July of 1943 between the Soviets and Germans. It was also the costliest single day in aerial warfare. It was Nazi Germany’s last grand offensive of world War Two and its first major defeat on an open battlefield. It turned into the greatest tank battle the world has ever seen, and ever will see.

The only tank battle Americans have ever heard about was Patton’s Battle of the Bulge one year later in July 1944. Americans are blind to other’s history. The battle of the Bulge didn’t compare to Kursk.

As a footnote: the Russian nuclear submarine that sunk in the Barents Sea in 2007 was named K-141 Kursk.

What's up with the Vandenberg cash cow? Are the thousands of divers from around the world promised us, showing up yet? Given all the political hype to spend millions in tax dollars for huge rewards in tourist dollars. What has our tax dollars bought so far? Did the free worldwide coverage of the Vandy's sinking interest any divers at all? Does anyone know if any statistics are being gathered?

49. That’s the number of outboards and lower units stolen so far this year from Big Pine to Key West.

[Sarah Palin] It seems to me that the Dems are very afraid of Sarah Palin. That is why they pick on her endlessly. They're right though, I think they should be afraid of her.

[Flea Market] Today (Sunday) is the last day of the season for the Flea Market. The vendors would like to thank everyone for their support during the past year and we all look forward to seeing you when we reopen the first weekend of October. We will be stocking up on new items and good deals. So everyone have a safe and great rest of the summer.

[Mini Season] There here! I got caught by surprise. Every other year we leave the rock. Damn, I'll pay for this one.

Paris Hilton insists she's not stupid—or slutty—like you may think. Well I'm glad she cleared that up, I was starting to worry. Paris Hilton: I'm Not Stupid and I'm Not a Slut

[Religious cult Alcoholics Anonymous] I would like to ask this poster if he is lucid? What makes AA a religious cult group? The meetings I have attended included Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists and agnostics. The only religion (and now I refer to the Latin root religio meaning, to bind) I saw was the shared desire of attendees to stop drinking or using drugs.

[Birth Certificate] I swear you GOPers have the attention span of a crack baby. If you keep bringing up this stupid birth certificate story you'll never get Arnold elected president.

[I stand right behind Mayor Neugent and his position on the sewer issue] Clap, clap, clap, clap, well spoken. How's life on the County chit (taxpayer support system)?

Too bad Obama’s Harvard Professor wasn’t down here when the cops questioned him about why he was at his own house. They could have sold him some pot like the Sheriff and FWS guys did down here to mellow him out. Let a cop try doing that in my Grandmother’s house. Poor man wouldn’t stand a chance and I will applaud Granny for making them remember their manners. So much for being held to a higher standard.

Agent Orange linked to heart disease and Parkinson's. Take care of our heroes! Agent Orange linked to heart disease, Parkinson's

Sotomayor should be before a judge, not a judge! I recommend this article: GOP Senators Ignore Sotomayor's Criminal Activities. http://www.newswithviews.com/Devvy/kidd455.htm

[White Cop Cars] It used to be that when I was speeding, I’d look up ahead for a white car (usually a Crown Victoria) coming my way because cops always had white cars. No more!

In the last two days I’ve seen cars stopped on Key Deer Blvd by unmarked cool cars. One was a black sedan with a spoiler and the other was a nice metallic gold car. It took them long enough to figure that we all were looking for white cars.

In response to the “Criminal Sewer Conspiracy” comments on Sunday the 19^th. This individual should identify his or herself so as to be held accountable for the misinformation.

As for friends on Shark Key? You’d have to point one out for me. I’m not sure I have any that live on Shark Key. I certainly have constituents and acquaintances, but not “friends.”

One clear advantage that FKAA has over others is its ability to go on private property. Ask the residents of projects where the Aqueduct Authority has installed systems. That’s a good thing.

A “crime has been committed”. Please explain the crime for us. You state unequivocally that a crime has been committed. You owe me an explanation.

The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Sunday July 26, 2009

Saturday July 25, 2009

(eD: No edIT SatuRDAY!!!!!!......u assd 4 iT!!!!!!!!!

I stand right behind Mayor Neugent and his position on the sewer issue. I am happy to see that he reads our lil' Coconut Telegraph. Here is where I am happy to be a tenant and not a landlord. Referencing back a couple of days on the Telegraph where there was dialog concerning the benefits of the kingdom of landlord versus the kingdom of tenant, tenants will not be cutting the huge check for the hookup.

I also believe that none of the Commissioners nor our Mayor are party loyalists and instead are independent minded individuals who vote each issue not being contingent or depending on something else (no matter how naive that sounds). You see these Commissioners and Mayor remember who put them in office -- us, Keys locals who vote...and are beholden to us.

For those of you who are befuddled
by the word 'beholden', Wikitionary defines it as "obligated to provide, display, or do something for another; bound by moralobligation; indebted;
obliged.Obligated to provide, display, or do something for another; bound by moral obligation; indebted; obliged."

Obama’s First Flight over Texas:

Lobsterin’ is tough

Bubba’s Take on Lobster

“Lobster is the food of the sea - you can.....
Barbecue it
Boil it
Broil it
Bake it
Saute' it

Grill it

Smoke it

There is.....

Lobster Kabobs
Lobster Creole
Lobster Gumbo
Pan Fry
Deep Fry
Stir Fry

There's.....

Pineapple Lobster
Lemon Lobster
Coconut Lobster
Pepper Lobster
Lobster Soup
Lobster Stew
Lobster Salad
Lobster and Potatoes
Lobster Burgers
Lobster Sandwich

That - that's 'bout it"

The case against the Avocados was settled today after 11 years and 9 months of depositions, hearings, testimony, cancelled court appearances and so many other legal issues that the original charges were almost forgotten. As you may or may not recall Manic Avocado was charged with misusing the school system credit card and depriving the local schools of supplies to teach our young students. When the theft charges first started to surface Manic’s husband, Rancid Avocado, now a retired State Senator stated that all the theft charges could clearly be explained. As the case started to unfold it soon became very clear that this was just the tip of the iceberg. Since the original case started, 5 other defendants in the case have been sentenced to upwards of 9 years in Federal prison. One other defendant has since died and the remaining two have not been found as they have fled the country. One defendant became a federal witness and her whereabouts are unknown as she is under the Federal Socialist Witness Protection Program. The case was shown on the new national socialist TV channel, OB1. It was one of the most unusual court cases in recent years. Manic Avocado’s seven attorneys, paid by the county, used the defense of her being a shop-aholic. It was the first time that this line of defense had been used. It was clearly proven in court that Manic Avocado had a shopping disease. This line of defense has only been used once before and that was back in 2013 by the religious cult group known at that time as Alcoholics Anonymous. This group of religious fanatics has since been dissolved by the socialist government as being a Christian fraud. Manic Avocado was sentenced to probation for life, restitution in the amount of 1,800 Euros, no court costs and is prohibited from working with any institution that issues credit cards. As the school systems are now all controlled by the socialist government it would be highly unlikely that we will ever see this type of blatant theft, deception and lies again. It is expected that the President of the United Socialist States, Condescending Spice, will give Manic Avocado an executive pardon when she leaves office next year. And that’s the way it is. Good night. Kander Bluff, Lunatics Anonymous.

Awesome Senior Moment

There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets

on the evils of America. I politely declined to take one.

An elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish)

female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined.

The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship

and in a very soft voice said, 'Lady, don't you care about the children of Iraq ?'

The old woman looked up at her and said, 'Honey, my father died in France during World War II,

I lost my husband in Korea , and a son in Vietnam .

All three died so you could have the right to stand here and bad mouth our country.

If you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up your ass and open it!'

Let me get this straight the professer that was at his own home was wrong even tough he showed the police his I.D. and his school I.D.? Amazing.I guess its normal to treat people like criminals whenever they get locked out of their homes.

Yet Republicans cry like little girls if Sarah Palin even gets asked a tough question.What the hell did Bush do to you folks.Your heads turned backwords.

Did you hear the one about Sarah Palin and the worm nosed eskimo? I better stop the Repubs will have heart failure.

Any of you who might be intrested is attending the arraignment of thugs who attack Tom Milone here's the date - lets' pack the house and show them this kind of behavior is NOPT acceptable in our town!
The three juvenile defendants will be arraigned on Wednesday, July 29, 2009, at 1:30 PM at the Freeman Justice Center, Courtroom B, 302 Fleming Street, Key West before Judge Mark Jones. I will be there.

[Dana] Happy Birthday Girlfriend

you are in my heart & prayers can't wait to see your smiling face again!

Lots of love & hugs see you soon Lisa @ Lost Cargo Trading Post

(Rabid Rabbis) Officials decry political corruption after 44 arrested in N.J.

If one of the musician from Blue Man Group happens to choke. What color would he turn?

[Not enough memory?] For the computer gurus.

LOBSTER CLEANING

I find it almost impossible to remove uncooked lobster meat from the tail. first I split the belly with a knife and work my fingers along the edges, then flip the tail over (hard side up) and put pressure opposite the way the tail folds until the back "crack", this usually does the job....if not see below.

take a filleting knife and work it around the tail up under the carapace. There's another big bite up there. Yeah there is! A fillet knife works great, but I've also found twisting the tail causes that big bite to separate and come with the tail....although the knife is a cleaner cut.

For those of you who like GUMBO...I use a "quick mix" from the Louisiana Crawfish Man (www.louisianacrawfishman.com) and boil the heads, shells antennae etc with the mix for about 15 minutes....then strain all big hard pieces out...toss in your choice of veggies, (sausage if you wish) and in the last 10 minutes....lobster meat, fish meat....it makes a quick Keys Gumbo that tastes great with red wine, Cuban bread slathered in honey butter....and your "choice" for dessert. The product is a fool proof, quick, oil less rue which means you can drink while your cooking (after the knives are put away)

I am a firm believer in the 2nd Amendment!

Chemical Makers Go on the Offensive in Agriculture | CommonDreams.org Dow has found a way to put several " traits " - like drought tolerant- and herbicide-resistance- into a single corn or soybean seed.You are what you eat.

i feel bad for the homeowner who lost their house to the fire behind paradise petroleum. i was walking my dogs when i saw the black smoke and as i approached the scene i saw a fire truck leaving 2 others still there. it was clearly out of control. flames shooting about 20 ft high. after i left and encountered the fireman at the hydrant by CVS who was filling his truck to return and spray the fire i ask him, being the curious person that i am, why he didn't use the hydrant located about a block from the still burning house. i was stunned by his answer..... he said that one is connected to salt water and it's hard on our pumps!!!!!!

hummmmmmmmmm maybe it's just me but i'd rather have the fire extinguished quickly by salt water than a pile of ashes hosed to death by fresh water. after my shopping at the W/D, on my way back home i did see a fire truck hooked up to the salt water hydrant ( about 30 mins later) we got a brand new fire station.. maybe what we really need someone with common sense to run it. one final thought.. it's a pump...after running salt water thru it, can't you run fresh water thru it and get rid of the salt like we do with our boat motors????

[Police Report: Downs Stalking] Now I have seen it all. I wonder if this moron knows they can be arrested for impersonating a "real" police officer?

Obama and friends cloak their healthcare reform rhetoric in the need for "cost savings'. If this were actually true, the quick way to do it would be tort reform. It will never happen, though, because the docs are typically supporters of the Republicans and the trial lawyers are dyed-in-the-wool Democrats.

When Engineers Own a Dog, pet love has no bounds or bounces! Video

Illegal Immigrants: The only people that actually belong in this country are American Indians! The rest of us should all go back to Europe, Asia, Africa, Spain or wherever the Hell else your so called sacred ancestors are from and leave this place in peace!!

FACTS TO PONDER:

The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000
Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
per year are 120,000

Accidental deaths per physician

is 0.171
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of
Health Human Services

Now think about this:
Guns: The number of gun owners in the U.S.
is 80,000,000 (Yes, that's 80 million..)

The number of accidental gun deaths
per year, all age groups, is 1,500

The number of accidental deaths
per gun owner is .000188
Statistics courtesy of the FBI

So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'

FACT : NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,
BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.
We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld the statistics on
lawyers for fear the shock would cause
people to panic and seek medical attention

Can You Be Fooled?

Examine each of the following pictures, then

Try to guess who is a girl and who is a guy

DAMN!
All of them are GUYS ! !

( all you gals out there have some serious competition )

After the Bush years:

1) The outrage over the deficit is NOT "all of a sudden"
2) Bush is not the only reason for the deficit, he had help from the folks with a (D) behind thier name
3) Because Bush had a deficit, that means Obie can go for Trillions MORE in deficits and that is OK?

No I think if Obie were to turn off his teleprompter, and he and his Dem "leadership" were to just STFU for a few months (years would be better) we would all be better off.

[Targets] The whole bunch of you involved sound like idiots to me. I bet the secret service would love to know about you shooting at pictures of the President.

Happy Birthday Dana. Hope you have a speedy recovery. I guess it will be a while before I can give ya a hug at the Tiki. Be good and take care of yourself. That's the quickest way to recovery. Get your butt out of there and back home. Tiki Terry

This cry baby health care nonsense makes me sick. No pun intended! I work hard for my income and pay my OWN insurance and don't gripe and moan that I want it or deserve it for free. It is you bums that are killing this country. Just die off so real red blooded working Americans can live in this country WE built. Don't like it, go back the the dung piles you came from and rebuild them, you lazy mutants, instead of sucking the life out of us!

A cop doing his job willingly walks into a situation where there is a real chance he could be killed protecting someone and/or their property and some educated bozo is going to give him a hard time about it? What a jackass [no disrespect meant for the 4 legged variety all of which have better judgement then that guy]. He should have spent his breath profusely thanking that cop.

The professor, policeman and president | Freep.com | Detroit Free Press The Professor, the Policeman, and the President.

I can't believe that no one has made mention of this story yet. Especially since he was the city manager in Marathon at one time.

Fla. town fires manager married to porn star

AP – This undated photo provided by Scott Janke shows Scott Janke, right and his wife Anabela Mota Janke. …

By DAVID FISCHER, Associated Press Writer David Fischer, Associated Press Writer – Wed Jul 22, 10:46 pm ET

MIAMI – A South Florida town manager who married a porn star last year was fired at an emergency meeting after the mayor and council members learned about it.

Fort Myers Beach town council voted 5-0 to fire Scott Janke "without cause" after Mayor Larry Kiker called the Tuesday night meeting.

Kiker said he learned that afternoon that Janke's wife is an adult film star, and the elected officials took the action a few hours later.

"At no time did we make a judgment call on the activities of Mr. Janke or his wife," Kiker told The Associated Press. "It's a matter of how effective he becomes after this situation. How much disruption there is."

Officials lambast NJ corruption after 44 arrested. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090724/ap_on_re_us/us_nj_corruption_arrests

More signs of Mini-Season.

(The Dipshit finally did the right thing) Obama calls white policeman who arrested black scholar

[My Water Makes Me Sick] The water makes me sick too. I stopped drinking it long ago. The chemicals they add deffinetly give me bladder infections. It's a fact! I drink bottled and bingo no more bladder infections

Happy Birthday Dana from Paradise Petroleum. We're all rooting for you to get better!

(Obama should have kept his mouth shut, then as usual he back-peddled) Friends defend officer who arrested black scholar

to the FHP officer that hangs out on Pine lane off of county road day and night do you freaking job you embarrass real cops. Jesus, FHP will hire anybody....

[Lawyers for Jimenez said] Who cares what those stinking lawyers say or how screwed up that illegal was, he was a felon stealing from our tax bucket PERIOD! Shipping him back was a blessing for him because he should have been shot as a invading criminal. Lawyers, as Plato said, will destroy us all! If you are an illegal: YOU ARE A CRIMINAL!

Birth Certificate: There has never been an original copy of his birth certificate shown to anyone the copy that is shown is from the ninetys.

(What an a**hole) Obama rushes to quell racial uproar, calls Crowley, Gates

Somebody criticized the remarks about Cubans and Mexicans the other day. Seems to be a trend to hate people who come into this country, over turn everything to suit THEIR life styles, disregard the laws, trash out every area they move into, demand every service and finance for free, produce noting to support themselves, then try to rule the American people by controlling OUR government. This is a very likable trend that should be expanded to free America from these invaders ASAP!

A Happy Birthday to Dana! Look both ways before you cross.

Did anyone see the latest edition of the conch color? there is an article with photos on the underwater music festival. The photographer took a photo of his own hand grabbing on the coral

Florida Hospital Sued for Deporting Patient who was an illegal immigrant

Here's the part Deer Ed left out of my post. It's the poll results, and reflects the mood of the country.

Was the hospital right to send Jimenez back to Guatemala?

Total votes 9,193: Yes-63% No-29% I have mixed feelings-8%

Should the hospital have to pay for care for Jimenez for the rest of his life? (because all costs would have to be absorbed by all paying patients)

Total votes 8,738: Yes- 83% No- 13% I have mixed feelings- 4%

In President Obama's Feb. 11th televised speech at the Caterpillar corporate headquarters factory in Peoria Illinois, he stated; “If Congress passes our plan" [The Stimulus Plan], "this company [Caterpillar] will be able to rehire some of the folks who were just laid off.” He promised that passage of the Stimulus Bill would create “a new wave of innovation, activity & construction will be unleashed all across America.” He played well for the workers and cameras & everybody cheered.

He also added “so goes Caterpillar, so goes the world’s economy”. I assume that meant if Cat is doing well, the world’s & America's economy is doing well too. That would also appear to mean if Cat is doing bad, the world’s & America's economy is also bad. Presently the Obama team is saying The Stimulus Plan has worked as intended & things are looking bright. Beyond the rose colored lights of Obamaland, Caterpillar released a sobering report. It is continuing to suffer losses & will begin a rolling shutdown of its factories. Upon hearing that news, the Dow Jones industrial average fell while the Nasdaq & the S&P 500 also added losses.

Caterpillar's dire struggle bring up 2 important points. 1) If you believe as I do in the President's statement, “so goes Caterpillar, so goes the world’s economy”, the economy must be crashing. 2) Then you must also believe the Obama team is running another scam on the American taxpayer. Their statements don't add up. Falling poll numbers & statements that continually contradict each other seem to be taking a toll. How long can this administration continue to play both sides of the fence before they crash & burn completely?

FoxNews and Scott Jenke

Who else saw the story on FoxNews on Thurs AM about Scott Jenke's wife being a porn star and as a result of being said port star, Scott got fired from his Ft. Meyers job?

Please tell me what one thing has to do with another thing?

Who'd a thunk that this story would get national press? But then again it has the key (excuse the pun) ingredients = sex, money.

That's a closed minded community -- Aren't we grateful for our Keys forward-minded mentality?

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason.. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red ..

If the Army &Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.

Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Bob Trimbur

Not a politician,Eh!

Well done, Sloan.

You have alienated your gay base.

Key West, the five star dike destination.

All beaches filled with mammoth boobs

turning coconut brown.

Hey, even straight broads.

But no wewe's in public,

no bouncing balls.

Scare ' them' with lawsuits,

gay rights will follow next.

Of course are lawyers not but devious.

I can't STAND it when my cigs cost more than my spleef!!!

If you can't (or aren't willing to) quit the cigarettes yet, and are tired of being "raped off" check out the following site:

http://www.alleganytrail.com/shop/home.php

They are a little inefficient in getting you started, but once you are in their system you can save Big Bucks$$ My carton went from $42.89 to $25.01 out the door. Check 'em out...

Happy Birthday Dana! We are so sorry you got hurt. Judy and JR send their love and prayers. Please let us know your address so we can send you some good wishes.

the flea market is closing sunday

(Repeat) In response to the “Criminal Sewer Conspiracy” comments on Sunday the 19^th. This individual should identify his or herself so as to be held accountable for the misinformation.

As for friends on Shark Key? You’d have to point one out for me. I’m not sure I have any that live on Shark Key. I certainly have constituents and acquaintances, but not “friends.”

One clear advantage that FKAA has over others is its ability to go on private property. Ask the residents of projects where the Aqueduct Authority has installed systems. That’s a good thing.

A “crime has been committed”. Please explain the crime for us. You state unequivocally that a crime has been committed. You owe me an explanation.

Happy Birthday Dana. Get well quick!

The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Saturday July 25, 2009

Friday July 24, 2009

In response to the “Criminal Sewer Conspiracy” comments on Sunday the 19^th. This individual should identify his or herself so as to be held accountable for the misinformation.

As for friends on Shark Key? You’d have to point one out for me. I’m not sure I have any that live on Shark Key. I certainly have constituents and acquaintances, but not “friends.”

One clear advantage that FKAA has over others is its ability to go on private property. Ask the residents of projects where the Aqueduct Authority has installed systems. That’s a good thing.

A “crime has been committed”. Please explain the crime for us. You state unequivocally that a crime has been committed. You owe me an explanation.

[The Hickory House] Bids were opened yesterday for purchase of Monroe County’s famous white elephant. There was only one bid opened and that was for just $1 a year (He didn’t get it).

[Police Report: Downs Stalking] On Wednesday, July 22, 2009 at around 1241 hours, Officer Johnson and I (Officer Kouri) responded to the intersection of Virginia Street and Grinnell Street, in reference to a stalking report. Upon arrival, I met with a white male, identified as Nicholas Downs (Victim). N. Downs was sitting in his truck, which was parked at the intersection of Virginia and Grinnell Streets. N. Downs said his wife, Sandra Downs, was parked approximately 200 feet east of him, also on Virginia Street.

N. Downs said there is a protection order in place for himself and S. Downs. N. Downs said S. Downs has been following him around Key West, since 0900 hours, this morning. N. Downs said he first ran into S. Downs on Duval Street at around 0900 hours, when she pulled along side him, took a picture of him and said "I got you now." N. Downs said S. Downs then followed him around the parking lot in Sears Town around 1200 hours. N. Downs said he again left the area in an attempt to get away from S. Downs.

N. Downs said S. Downs then saw him on United Street, around 1230 hours, and followed him to Virginia and Grinnell Street. N. downs said he called KWPD at this time. I provided N. Downs with statements forms, which he has not brought to KWPD at the time of this report. N. Downs said he wanted a report documenting the incident for when he has to appear in court against S. Downs on December 19th 2009.

I spoke with S. Downs, who was adamant that she had done nothing wrong and was allowed to be on the same streets as N. Downs. S. Downs had a copy of the restraining order, which had hand writing on it that said no arrests are to be made in reference to violations of the injunction. The hand written statement had the signature of Judge Teagon Slaton under it. I advised S. Downs that she could not follow N. Downs around the city, that she is also in violation of the restraining order.

S. Downs said she could not be arrested and said she would be calling State Attorney Dennis Ward, who she said would resolve the matter if she was arrested. S. Downs also said that she ran for Monroe County Sheriff and knows the laws regarding injunction violations. I advised S. Downs she would be arrested if she continued to violate the injunction.

No arrests were made until the injunction paperwork can be verified as to the no arrest stipulation, with the clerk and/or the Judge. I gave both parties a case number.

[Penny Tax for Sewers] There's a problem with adding a penny to the sales tax for a specific project. The problem is this. When the project is completed the penny will not go away. I can't believe the public falls for this every time. I'm Almost 50 and I can remember sales tax being 4 cents. Face the fact that any increase is forever. You've never seen sales tax drop, and you never will. What will the next penny be for?

[Lobster Meat] My method of getting raw lobster meat out of the shell is to get some water almost to a boil (if you have really hot tap water it will also work) dip the tail in it for a few seconds until the shell starts to change color. Pull it out of the water and crack the shell, the meat will now separate from the shell.

After doing this I usually cut the tail in bite sized pieces and fry them like you would shrimp. That is this life long lobster fisherman's favorite way of eating "sea roaches". My next favorite is to split them, douse with garlic powder, black pepper, lime juice and butter and put them on the b-b-q grill for a few minuets. My next favorite is to sell the damn things and buy a steak!

[Targets] I like to target practice. When I do, I use printouts of Pelosi, Obama, Biden, ect., taped to glad bags of Hunt's catsup mixed with Metamucil in order to get a nice effect for each pellet
Last weekend an old friend from Pompano stopped down for a visit with her 16 year old boy. She made it known to me that she was uncomfortable with my little shooting range, and asked me to take down my printouts. I asked what the big deal was, and the conversation ramped up to an argument. Finally she presented me with an ultimatum, and since my home wasn't going to be dictated to by a stupid idea, she and the kid made for her car.

I reminded her at the door that she and her husband would send me emails and stationary with President Bush's likeness with cross-hairs overlaid on his face as a letter head; along with hats and t-shirts. And they sent many emails with caricatures and videos of the former president as a monkey and other mean-spirited cartoons of Cheney and the like. Also, I reminded her that she and her husband enjoyed immensely Sarah Palin hanged in effigy in California, and that they couldn't wait for the film about shooting President Bush to come out, along with all the attendant jokes. I mean they were obsessed.

After that, I decided that since no thought or consideration was ever offered from the two of them in view of my feelings, that she could take her son and her hypocrisy, and overnight at the local motel instead of at my home.

I am sorry to lose a friend over dumb crap, but I wasn't the one who made the ultimatum.

As a footnote, her son Mark was disappointed in not being able to use the range. Mark, if you see this, I'm sorry, and come over any time at all - just let me know. And bring the family album! Just kidding, don't get upset, but if you happen to get your hands on any commemorative plates...

After the Bush years, all of a sudden an outraged GOP has noisily awakened to the concept of the budget deficit. What a bunch of hypocrites. Obama can quiet them down by giving them another huge tax break for the wealthy and maybe a flag amendment.

[Decrappifier gets rid of your computer’s junk programs] Be very careful if you are not familiar with this type of PC voodoo. Talk with a knowledgeable computer person before you start messing with installed bundled programs. You could be substituting a bigger problem.

[From the Right] Mr. Obama’s press conference the other night was absolutely incredible. First it was billed as an event which would illuminate us as to the core of his Universal Health Insurance (nee Universal Health Care) plan. It was to tell us the how and when and why his plan is practical, fiscally responsible, and even necessary for the good of our nation. It did none of the above. No one learned a single damned thing from it. Second he slandered physicians, I’ll bet that the AMA is spinning after his statement that suggested that it’s common place for Docs to unnecessarily perform surgeries solely for personal profit. Indeed, putting children in pain and at risk for profit. Third his patently false statement that Docs routinely prescribe brand name drugs instead of generic for personal profit. Are we to believe that these alleged actions are the proximate cause of the high cost of medical care? And finally the piece de résistance; Cambridge cops are “stupid”. He first admitted that he did not know the facts of the Henry Gates arrest episode. Then he admitted that Gates was a friend of his. Then The Chief Law Enforcement Officer of the United States proclaimed to the world that a Cambridge Police officer acted in a stupid fashion.

By now most of us have read the police report and know that Gates, a black Harvard professor and FOB (Friend of Barack) became enraged at a white police officer who was investigating a reported break in at Gate’s home. Gates’ racially charge and raucous behavior resulted in his being arrested. Mr. Obama, while proclaiming that he did not know the facts, specifically said that the officer acted in a stupid fashion, and then strongly suggested that the police officer’s actions were racist. It was subsequently learned that the officer had performed mouth to mouth resuscitation on NBA star Reggy Lewis in a vain attempt to save his life. Mr. Obama's declaration that the officer acted “stupid” is racist in and of itself. The notion that officer is racist is patent nonsense. All Mr. Obama accomplished was to burnish his reputation as being an angry black man with a chip on his shoulder. The presser managed only to prove to the world that the notion of his being a post racial human is preposterous.

The Today Show is coming to Key West and guess who is going to be on the show? You guessed it, we are! The Mile Marker 24 Band will be playing and I’m going to make some two-stroke margaritas from the old Johnson outboard for Matt Lauer and Al Roker. This should be a hoot so be sure and tune in. Even better, why not join us live in Key West at the Westin? If you are in the area you have to come down and party with us!! Here is information from the official Florida Keys Tourism Website.

Why women should not be advice column writers:

Dear Angie,
I recently borrowed my boyfriends car to go to work. On the way the car sputtered and came to a dead stop. I tried repeatedly to get it restarted. I would like to know what could have caused this before taking it in to the mechanic, hopefully it might be something simple, what do you think?

Sharon

Dearest Sharon,
Great question, hopefully I can help you out. First and foremost this would not have happened if your boyfriend had not been so preoccupied with watching his television programs and knocking back those beers. It would have been much simpler for him to put a little effort into this relationship. I can tell by the tone of your letter that there are deep rooted problems. I am sure that he probably leaves dirty clothes all over the place, and also fails to put the toilet seat back down. My suggestion to you is to head for the exit NOW. This relationship is going nowhere and it is time for a new beginning. Hopefully this helps. Thanks again for the letter.

Angie.

Tomorrow’s the last chance for the Big Pine Flea Market before they close for summer vacation. Be there or be square!

[Obama is a Foreigner] I hate to say this but as wacky and nuts as you conservatives are, your ranting against Obama saying he’s not an American is the funniest thing since Sarah Palin spoke those deep intellectual words "You betcha". The man has a birth certificate and you can even purchase a copy yourself. The hospital he was born in showed his records, and the local newspaper had his birth notice recorded the day after he was born, but please keep showing the world how wacked out you wild and crazy guys are. "Obama’s not American." What a classic!

[Computer or software questions?] Big Pine computer club is coming up this Saturday, July 25, at 10 am at the BPK library’s back room. Volunteers are there to answer your questions. Word, email, internet, photos, backup, etc.

[Obama Stupid] I bet if it was a black cop Obama would have used the word "misunderstanding" instead of “stupid”. Obama 'stupidly' comment disappoints Mass. cop

Sal in his prime. He was actually young once.

[Outboard motor thefts] The fellow who wrote in the other day about the crooks being locals seems to be on the money. The Key West police said the same thing in today's article in the Citizen. If they are locals, one of them is going to have too much to drink at a bar and start bragging about their "business" and how easy it is to fool the cops. Hopefully someone will be listening.

[Memorabilia] B.O. would have Obama silverware, but Hillary took it all!

[Gov Arnold Schwarzenegger’s statement] I guess the truth hurts. If more Americans were willing to do some of these jobs the illegals wouldn't have anything to do.

A Denver police officer has been charged with felony menacing for allegedly brandishing his gun at a McDonald's restaurant after getting tired of waiting for his food. Derrick Curtis, 29, Saunders also face charges of prohibited use of a weapon, reckless endangerment and disorderly conduct.

An employee at the Aurora restaurant told investigators that two Denver police officers were waiting for their food at the drive-through window May 21 when one grew impatient and pulled his gun.

Now who hasn't wanted to do this?

[Mini-Seasoners] They take anything they want, they could care less about the laws. All they care about is bragging about how many they got.

[More bar wisdom] Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed.

[Lobster Recipe] My favorite way is also the simplest. Split the tail lengthwise in the shell and fry the halves in a little oil and minced garlic until the shell turns red and the meat turns white. Just 2-3 minutes on each side.

[To Just Wondering] Yes, blondes really do have more fun!

[Obama “Stupid”] Obama was asked about the arrest of Gates, who is his friend, at the end of a nationally televised news conference on health care Wednesday night.
"I think it's fair to say, number one, any of us would be pretty angry," Obama said. "Number two, that the Cambridge police acted stupidly in arresting somebody when there was already proof that they were in their own home. And number three - what I think we know separate and apart from this incident - is that there is a long history in this country of African-Americans and Latinos being stopped by law enforcement disproportionately, and that's just a fact."

If Obama was white you would hear nothing but flack over this statement.

What happened to Solar George’s house? I heard everything went up in smoke.

[Big Piners Bad] To the poster who wrote My fellow citizens, it is time to rid the county of the Yahoos (most who live in Big Pine Key) Kiss my A**! Who do you think you are? Obviously you don't think very much, and we don't think much of you.

Why rednecks are an endangered species--we hope!

A good way to cook lobster is to take the meat out, coat it in batter and deep fry it.

Just when I thought I had seen it all, God is twittering. New service lets Jews tweet a prayer to God

[My water makes me sick] I believe the State gave residences free water testing kits. You might have a broken pipe leaching in dirt or worse. Get it checked.

More yes we can! Cash-strapped states raid funds meant for 911 system

The Confession
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice"
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My Dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold."

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000"

The Dad says, "That's terrible to over charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession."
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shit again, you're in my closet now."

[Socialized Oil] Get ready for the democrats. Video

Sculpture Video

[Friends] Making a monkey out of a dog? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3SbjjMChqw

[Islam] Travel forms are already in Arabic in Europe. This one is for Spain.

[Tim A/C Fix-it] I read a post yesterday about someone asking if Tim the a/c fix-it guy passed away. Does anyone know if that's true or not? I would like to know because my family was friends with him.

The best way to cook Florida lobster is on the grill. Melt some butter with garlic, dill weed, salt and pepper. Cut the lobster tail in half. After cleaning the 'vein' out, place the tails meat-side down in the seasoned butter. Get the grill really hot and place the tails meat-side down for a minute or two. You should get nice grill marks before turning them. Once turned, drizzle the remaining butter over the meat. It may flare up, but it won't burn the meat because it’s protected by the shell. To ensure you don't get anyone sick, turn the tails over to cook for another 10 seconds (remember you dipped raw seafood into the seasoned butter). This recipe works every time and is delicious.

Zoos: Live longer in the wild? Serve as ambassadors from the animal kingdom to the future zoologists and veterinarians of the world? Bwah-ha- ha! You, my friend, are a doofus. And the left-wing clap-trap line? Anybody disagreeing with your conservative sensibilities, you mark them off as left-wing. You are a petty, reactionary bucket head. And if you believe that zoos rock, then feel free to crawl into a lion's habitat or grizzly den.

I wrote the bit as a joke, but you made it so much more than that. Congrats.

[Shark Man] It looks like the Rocketts of Big Pine are still at it. The last time I checked, spearfishing for sharks in FL waters was a no-no. These were taken in local waters with a spear gun. First, Goliath Grouper, next sharks. Keep up the good work guys! William Ketchya ~diverdownbigpine@rocketmail.com

[Taxes] There is a law regulating profits, it’s called taxes! They just are not applied equally.

[Lawmakers haven't dumped their federal insurance because there is no health plan in effect yet] You do know that Congressman and Senators write America's legislation and are presently crafting Obama Care right now. Pro Obama Care lawmakers say "when" a healthcare bill is passed, it will be good for America and her people. Those lawmakers want taxpayer support for Obama Care. What better way to get American taxpayer's support than for all pro-Obama Care lawmakers to pledge to join Obama Care themselves--if it passes. That pledge would in effect, dump their present Fed plan for Obama Care effectively showing that they believe in Obama Care.

They will never join up because they'd rather keep their taxpayer supplied top notch health care plan. This is another example of it's-good-enough-for-taxpayers-but-not-me politicians. If Obama Care passes all lawmakers should automatically lose their Fed care and be automatically enrolled in Obama Care. When the people crafting legislation refuse to hop aboard, the American taxpayer should be very leery of the content and intent of that legislation.

[Update on Dana] After spending 10 days in ICU, she was moved to a regular room; so slowly, she is getting better. I went down to see her this past weekend and boy did she look like crap with lot’s of bruising and bandages. Ironically, not a lot of road rash. There was some but I expected more. With all the breaks and fractures she still has a long road to recovery. Her birthday is tomorrow, Saturday, so if you want to send her birthday wishes print them here and I will make sure she gets them. Thanks for all your concern BPK, that's one of the many things I do miss.

[Keep your left wing clap trap to yourself] When did crap stop being just plain crap and start having a P.C. position--left or right? Why does everything people disagree with have to have a political position label attached to it?

Why can't something bad just be crap, and eliminate the assumption of political association? I'm tired of everything being left or right. Sometimes, bad is bad on its own merit. Next time you don't like something, evaluate it based on itself, without assigning labels. Get a perspective on the bad itself.

Does anybody else think the new ads for Palm Pre are the creepiest in a very long time? I'm talking about the blond with no eyebrows or lashes who talks like she's half asleep or drugged.

[Florida Hospital Sued for Deporting Patient] Stuart, Fla--All sides agree on one thing in the case of a South Florida hospital that secretly repatriated a seriously brain injured patient (Jimenez) who was an illegal immigrant back and to Guatemala. The hospital, which spent more than $1.5 million on his care over three years, says the patient wanted to go home. Underlying is the broader question of what Americans expect a hospital to do with a patient who requires long-term care, is unable to pay and doesn't qualify for federal or state aid because of his immigration status. Health care and immigration experts across the country are watching the case, which could set precedent in Florida and possibly beyond. Lawyers for Jimenez said this appears to be the first time a lawsuit has been filed in such a case. Jumenez's guardian is suing the hospital for letting immigration send him back.

The case went to the jury for deliberations Thursday afternoon.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Friday July 24, 2009

Thursday July 23, 2009

[Zoos] Keep your left wing clap trap to yourself. Most animals thrive in good, well run zoos and live longer in them than they do in the wild. They also serve as ambassadors from the animal kingdom to the future zoologists and veterinarians of the world. If you see an animal being mistreated in a zoo, by all means report it--otherwise zoos rock!

Tom Milone benefit at the Bottlecap Lounge this Saturday, July 25th from 7-9 pm. Celebrity bartenders like Mayor McPherson and City Commissioners along with a host of other civic and city leaders in a wonderful show of support to help raise money to help offset Tom’s significant medical expenses. Tom, a City Commission candidate, was attacked by a gang and severely beaten.

Let’s contribute freely to see which of our city leaders has the best and worst voice as they get badgered into our karaoke contest! Come and enjoy the karaoke, hors d’oeuvres, and drink specials in an evening of fun with a purpose. Bulletin Board

[Healthcare for Congress] They are exempting themselves not because they believe the system won't be good for all, but because they are special. They already have an unlimited source of free health care without the need for co-payments, pre-authorization for treatment, need to appeal, etc. You may recall that Congress opted out of Social Security several years ago and voted for their own generous retirement plan instead. You see, they are so special that what is good for us peons would never be good enough for their needs.

[Worlds Oldest Showgirl] 85 and still kicking Click here: World's Oldest Showgirl Dorothy Dale Kloss Still Kicking With the Fabulous Palm Spring Follies - AARP Bulletin Tod

It would appear Mrs. Thacker is a bit upset with her pals at the BOCC. Her letter to the editor somewhat indicated her concerns with the recent activities of the three commissioners she supported in the last election, two of which are affectionately now known as the “New” gang of three. Statements she made in her letter were “Taxpayers of Monroe County are beyond the breaking point” and “ We are requesting commissioners and staff to step up to the plate and think outside the box” are obvious concerns but now also moot. It seems the new gang of three has yet to see a tax proposal they didn’t like, and as far as thinking out of the box that will never work with this newly elected crew, ask Roman Gastesi.

I’m sure if any of you folks out there attended any candidate forums you can vividly remember Mrs. Wigington’s charts that she drug around the forums pointing out how she was going to reduce this and that if she was elected. Well I guess those charts contained some really fuzzy math because old “Wiggy” sure loves extracting that money from your wallets. It’s my guess those charts have probably been recycled into a rolls of Charmin toilet tissue by now.

My fellow citizens, it is time to rid the county of the Yahoos (most who live in Big Pine Key) that you seem to religiously elect to this commission and get some folks that will benefit everyone and not just the Yahoos who fill the BOCC seats every month. We don’t need recycled bureaucrats like Wigington and Murphy there that listen to all the local Yahoos to make their decisions.

I will assume by now Mrs. Thacker, like others, are realizing that those they were holding campaign signs up for two years ago will continue to tax the hell out of them for their remaining tenures. In the interim it would be my suggestion to Mrs. Thacker to maybe pick up her old curling irons and hair dying gloves and get back into the beauty parlor business or leave the Florida Keys.

I can assure you that cashing Social Security checks in the Florida Keys will become a dying art form if this new crew at the BOCC continues on the path they are on. Sorry Kay. ~salkeylargo@keylargokey.com

[Just Wondering] If you don't like it, change the channel this is America. Remember?

That Arab encounter video was unbelievable. It shows just how intolerant Muslims are. Eventually, that Arab encounter video will be believable because we will be seeing it every night on every local news channel in the country. This is not racism, just a matter of time and numbers at this current rate of growing haters.

Every Muslim living in the United States who does not publicly condemn, denounce and adamantly speak against those Arab Muslims committing the violence in the United States are assisting those Muslims in committing the violence. If Muslims only want peace, then why aren't they more vocal in denouncing their brethren's violence?

This forum is getting bigger and bigger. I’ve been reading email from friends in Europe and Australia saying they read it several times a week to stay up on what Americans are talking about. I just hope those foreigners don't take it as gospel for all America, especially the negative waves posted here sometimes. I tell them we, here in the Keys, drink a lot!

[Americans Fantasize, Germans Act] Two formerly well-off retired couples in Speyer, Germany, whose nest egg was largely wiped out by investments in sub-prime Florida mortgages, vented their anger by kidnapping their investment adviser, James Amburn, in June. They took him to the vacation home of one of the couples near the Austrian border, bound him like a mummy and beat and tortured him over several days, fracturing two ribs, in repeated attempts to punish him and extort his own property as partial compensation for their losses. Police rescued him after he managed to send a coded message by fax.

[Immigration] Gov Arnold Schwarzenegger took a stand against anti-illegal immigrant groups saying, "There are jobs that lots of people who live here legally won't do. Unless you protesters will take these jobs just shut up."

The governor's remarks were made after a sweep of the San Diego Zoo found there were some illegal immigrants working there.

[My baloney has a first name] Experts say this is not the first time an out of control wiener has wrecked a home. Just ask those who knew Michael Jackson!

Happy birthday Bill Kelly president of ABATE.

We are going to politically correct ourselves to death. Calif. quietly approves bill to apologize to Chinese Americans

[Outboard motor thefts] I have seen calls go out for the last 3 days for outboard motor thefts on the sheriff’s website. These thieves have huevos the size of watermelons.

How great is the shark in Crane Point Hammock’s pond at the Museum?

[Sex Offenders] I think drowning them in the water under the bridge would be a better idea. Sex offenders under Miami bridge may get new home

As I read so many posts here by our liberal-progressive friends, I am reminded of two quotes from men of the Greatest Generation.

"The problem with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so" ~Ronald Reagan and "Son, there is a shining example of someone that has been educated beyond their intelligence" ~My grandfather, Ken. God Bless them both!

[For Rent] Can we agree that the responsibilities of both tenants and landlords are differentiated by the following list?

Tenant's Responsibilities:
• Pay rent and utilities according to rental agreement.
• Maintain the premises in sanitary condition.
• Dispose of garbage properly.
• Pay for fumigation of infestations caused by the tenant (e.g. fleas from a cat).
• Properly use and maintain all electrical, gas, heating, plumbing, and other appliances provided by the landlord.
• Do not cause intentional or careless damage to the dwelling.
• Do not permit "waste" (substantial damage to the property) or "nuisance" (substantial interference like a dog barking all night) to persist.
• Upon moving out, restore the premises to the same condition as when the tenant moved in, aside from normal wear and tear.
• Follow all written agreements in the lease or any other signed documents.

Landlord's Responsibilities
• Maintain and repair the premises to comply with housing codes and regulations.
• Maintain structural components of the dwelling (roofs, floors, walls, fireplaces).
• Provide adequate locks and keys.
• Maintain electrical, plumbing, heating, and other appliances in good working order.
• Keep the premises in reasonably weather-tight condition.
• Control infestations by insects, rodents, and other pests before the tenant moves in. The landlord must continue to control infestations except in a house (e.g., single family dwellings) or when the problem was caused by the tenant.
• In apartments, studios, or any dwellings excluding houses, the landlord must provide garbage cans and arrange for garbage removal.
• Keep common areas such as lobbies, stairways and halls reasonably clean and free from hazards.
• Make repairs to keep the unit in the same condition as when the tenant moved in, except for normal wear and tear.
• Provide smoke detectors, and ensure they work properly when a new tenant moves in. (Tenants are responsible for maintaining detectors.)
A landlord is not responsible for the cost of correcting problems which are caused by the tenant.

[Decrappifier] Get rid of your computer’s junk programs. Download | The PC Decrapifier

Afghan: War Without Purpose War Without Purpose | CommonDreams.org

No testing for Swine Flu equals more tourists. Now why didn't I think of that?

[Color] Relax for a few minutes and enjoy the beauty of color. http://www.greatdanepromilitary.com/Colors/index.htm

[Healthcare] Does anyone know who Obama will pay for health insurance? After his press conference I know nada.

Let’s hope the W/D billboard on US-1 with the egg bearing lobster is not what the Mini-Seasoners think they can take!

[Sewers] Venture Out is trying to get the county to only charge for one hook up fee for the whole park instead of individual hook up fees like the rest of us. If they do that then each island should only pay one hook up. Shark Key residents never paid an impact fee or had to go through ROGO when they built. How do Duck Key residents get to pay their hook-up fees in advance (which is below $5000). We all should be allowed to do the same.

[Boiling live lobster] In your recipe with the lettuce I find it almost impossible to remove uncooked lobster meat from the tail. What's your secret?

Let's hear more lobster recipes. 99 ways to cook lobster would be a good subject for the next few days.

[These Colors Don't Run] Is that about patriotism, or are we just really proud of our fabric dyes?

[Fantasy] Obama's Speech. Did he say "It's not my problem, I have excellent health care"?

[Memorabilia] First came the commemorative coins, then the t-shirts and then the plates. Now something for the rest of us. Use caution, it may irritate your butt!

[Lobster cooking] Instead of just yanking the lobster's tail off, take a filleting knife and work it around the tail up under the carapace. There's another big bite up there. That's the way we do it up north (the north end of my street, that is.)

Keys cutest pet contest. Keysnews.com Cutest Pet Contest- Proceeds to benefit NEWSPAPERS IN EDUCATION.

My water stinks so bad it makes me sick to drink it. I missed another day at work today. I think it's time for a visit to my attorney.

[Sandy Downs] "Bitch set me up!" ~Marion Barry.

[Moral Standards] I regret that in our attempt to establish some standards we didn't make them stick. We couldn't find a way to pass them on to another generation. ~Walter Cronkite, 1996

[Tall Rusty Dead] According to Green Parrot John, Rusty was having a vodka morning, smoking pot and watching TV when he knocked over a kerosene lamp and ignited himself. He died later in a recuperation home.

[From the Right] Unfortunately by error, typo, or editor’s choice, the first sentence of yesterdays the (From the Right) submission was changed. The wording of the change implied that I was saying that the Obama supporter was attempting to convince folks that Socialized Medicine is a bad idea. That most certainly was not my intent. It’s obvious that the Obama supporter is a true believer, firm in his resolution that Socialized Medicine is a Jim Dandy idea. He seems like a sharp dude, I wish he could be convinced to the contrary. The original first sentence said: "Unlike the reticent Obama supporter I am proud to state that he is posting to attempt to convince as many folks as is humanly possible that Socialized Medicine is an atrocious idea that is contrary to the best interests of America”.

(Part II) Health care and the AMA. The other day I said that the AMA opposed the Obama Socialized Medicine plan. I believe that I was wrong. On Wednesday I heard that they had endorsed his plan. I rechecked my research and learned that they had in fact firmly opposed his plan until on or about July 17, sometime after his major speech to the AMA. It’s worth noting that busnesswire.com is reporting that at least 10,000 physicians have voiced opposition to the AMA position. Just released poll results state that 95% of responding Doctors state that the AMA does not speak for them on the issue. I regret the error, there was no intent to deceive.

Just Wondering
Why do we put up with terrible TV and pay for it?
How come we don't eradicate bad bugs?
Do blondes really do have more fun?
Did we out-source our government?
What happens if we don't pay the sewer fee, do the Poop Police attack?
Is our food that bad that we need vitamins?
Why is there no law controlling profits?
Do half the people on blogs understand the words?
What happened to freedom of the press?
Where will you move the Keys if the ice melts and the ocean rises?
Do I have to wear a grass skirt to tiki bars?
Where is the surf up?

Why do you have a link to the News Barometer? Their site is a month old! Why do they bother?

[Texting While Driving] Feds buried data proving that handheld tech devices dangerously distracts drivers. http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/60-second-science/post.cfm?id=watchdogs-feds-buried-data-proving-2009-07-21&sc=CAT_TECH_20090722

[New Car Alarm] Why didn't I think of that? Video

[We’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts] When a gift is not appropriate--don't take it. It's not wanted. If DOT as well as the City and State Department of Environmental Protection has a problem with one of the types of trees Halioua wants to donate, which are Malayan green coconut palms, then that's not the right gift. Don't accept it and move on.

Basically, the concern is falling coconuts. As a person who rides my bike and my kids roller blade on the bike path, I don't like the possibility of palm fronds on the path either.

DOT project administrator, Patty Ivey, detailed the agency's concerns in an email to the Keynoter. There is no need to copy it here, but suffice it to say those types of palms are not appropriate.

Some people have an excess of items because business is so slow and they want to seem like big, generous people and donate them. The powers that be don't want your overstocked gift. Keep them yourself and water them yourself and keep the liability to yourself. How much louder does the message have to be screamed at you? It's not wanted.

[Garage Sale, Yard and Tailgate] Def 1: The movement of debris from one low life area into another lower life area. Def 2: Recycling of valueless junk between persons of questionable gene structures. Def 3: See: "The King's Offerings" or also known as the "Chicken Leg over the Shoulder"

[Big Brother bans George Orwell’s 1984] Amazon sparks Kindle uproar by wiping 1984. http://www.pcpro.co.uk/news/262600/amazon-sparks-kindle-uproar-by-wiping-1984.html

[DirecTV] As a resident of Key West for 32 years with a short stint in BPK in the 70s, one of the nicest things in 20 years happened to me today. I am talking about the team of Luis and Sammy Sam the TV Man from Florida Keys Satellite. They are professional, courteous, and completely knowledgeable of their product. As well as outstanding service, they are also schooled with "insider information" that other TV providers don't tell you about (helllooooo). My terrific new landlady recommended them to me. and I'm telling you, today, I have improved the quality of my home life by leaps and bounds. Florida Keys Satellite is leading us into the 21st century with a wonderful new alternative to the other television provider. While the other television provider will leave you standing at the dock, paying ridiculous amounts of money, Florida Keys Satellite will not let you miss the boat. Stop paying more for less, and start paying a lot less, for a lot more. I get more channels and I have the extra money for a rainy day. I will recommend them any time, anywhere to anyone. And I like the fact their company is from my own back-yard.

Looks like the CNS(?) group is on a delusional power trip.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu

Thursday July 23, 2009

Wednesday July 22, 2009

Boiling live lobster? What state did you move to the Keys from? Why are you cooking Maine lobster in the Keys?

Florida crawfish (lobster) are a tougher meat so my methods include, separating the head from the tail, running one of the antennae up the alimentary canal to clean it and tossing the tail in boiling water until the meat turns opaque.

Another way to cook the tails includes separating the tail meat from the shell, sprinkling the inside of the shell with fresh bits of garlic and a few hunks of butter and laying the meat, ever so gently, inside (so not to hurt it) and wrapping the tail in wet lettuce leaves. Then wrap it in aluminum foil. You can broil or grill it for about 4 minutes.

If you’re into working a bit, freeze the whole bug, split it down the middle, clean out the carapace and fill it with crab or hogfish meat stuffing and bake the thing in the oven. Lobster tail and hogfish is the best!

I used to love netting the buggers off the seawall, tailing and tossing it into boiling water, and enjoying fresh lobster dipped in butter. They also make good ceviche!

Once the head is gone, I doubt it feels a thing, but it sure tastes good!

[Sandy Downs] Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. ~William Shakespeare

Has anyone else noticed the Winn Dixie billboard on Big Pine offering Florida spiny lobster with "Fresh from local waters" in big bold letters? How is this possible when lobster season does not open until August 6th? The picture on the sign also happens to be an egg-bearing female, which is illegal to possess any time of the year! Who is the moron in charge of their advertising?

[Captured Soldier] If it were me, I'd love to be water-boarded 81 times, make that 181 times, hell, make it 581 times, rather than get my head cut off by some effing barbarians who think that their goat-screwing ways are what Allah wants.

Zoos are prisons where the prisoner's only crime is being fun to look at.

[Healthcare] Why is Congress exempting themselves from the proposed government-run health care? That alone should make even the most Bush-hating, global warming, hybrid-driving, tofu-eating, sandal-wearing, dope-smoking liberal just a wee bit suspicious!

Randy Acevedo in happier days.

[Keys Attitude] The Keys and many parts of the South are no longer "Southern" they are ugly subdivisions of New York, New Jersey and Ohio. Filled with bitter old people just waiting to die and hell bent on making other people miserable.

Computers are like women because.
1. To get them to do anything you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot dumb data but still can't think for themselves.
3. They are supposed to serve you, but there is always a problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize you made a big mistake.

[Do not give local tap water to your pets] I immediately stopped reading the Telegraph and changed my cat’s water to bottled.

Good bye to the good ship Pon-Toon-Tang. Good luck to the new owner, Mr. Tom. I miss her already.

[Tax Increase] eople without kids in schools pay hundreds of dollars a year in school taxes so let’s be sure full time residents are not "buying" the part timer’s sewers for them too. I had a snowbird tell me he would be glad to see the tax increase as he’s only here 3 months out of the year. He wants us to pay for his home’s sewer. If we have to, let’s pretend its Obama’s fault. The TEA baggers would swing from the roofs if it was his fault. Is this tax increase different then any other tax increase?

[Word Police] Sandy's grammar, spelling and punctuation. "Conscripted " the first one?

Definition of conscripted: a legal order to serve in the armed services. i.e. He was conscripted into the army. From the Latin word Consciptus = enrolled. At least Tarzan does not try to use big words he does not know the meaning of.

[Bar Girl Fight] I knew someone who worked in a ghetto elementary school. When they first started they were told that if boys were fighting to go in and break it up. If girls were fighting go get help.

Wear the same watch the Merchant Marines are wearing on the Great Lakes. http://www.greatlakesfreighters.com/watches.html

Just wondering.
Do women with big feet, have a large understanding.
Fat chicks are great sex partners if you are into cleavages.
Does Winn-Dixie beat their meat prices?
I told my kid to learn Spanish and Arabic just to defend himself.
Are the Native American "Indians" laughing at all these invaders?
How is Cuba going to like us invading them?
Anyone have a good Soylent Green recipe?
Is art is in the eye of the wallet holder?
Why most people just do get it?
What happened to the Tea Parties?
Where's the Conch Republic when we need them?
How come we just don't shut the borders?
How to say Denny's in Spanish?

I kill my lobster the same way I do crabs. I put a screwdriver to their head and scramble their brains. It sounds sick, but they die instantly instead of being boiled to death.

That Arab encounter video was unbelievable. It shows just how intolerant Muslims are. The Christian assholes were just as bad, but no way would those Arabs get away with what they do in KW. It would be WW III instantly!

My baloney has a first name - It's C-R-A-S-H. Experts say this is not the first time an out of control weiner has wrecked a home. If you ever wondered how difficult it was to make a 3-point turn in a Weinermobile--it's clearly very hard.

An Oscar Mayer Weinermobile crashed into a home in Racine, Wisconsin after the driver turned onto a dead-end street. She tried turning around and accidentally hit the gas instead of the brake.

It's a double-blow for the baloney company. This month it's founder died and now the crash. And to add insult to injury, the weinermobile wasn't even invited to Oscar Mayer's funeral.

[Keys Attitude] I have lived here most of my 57 years and I have noticed the Key's attitude as some call it go downhill proportionally to the amount of northerners coming down to tell us how it's down back home. If you like back home so much just go back home.

[Drones] Canada is spending half a billion dollars on new armed drones (unmanned aerial vehicles, UAVs). In a Joy Stick War, people still die, but it’s remote. Afghanistan Exit Could Bring Escalated Air War | CommonDreams.org

[Obama Bad Fantasy] A soldier holding the rank of US Army Major refused to serve in Iraq because he believes that Obama is not a citizen. Instead of producing the proof Obama allowed the officer to not serve without any charges. Why wouldn't Obama produce his records in court and discipline this officer? Obama’s favorite news agency CNN is now investigating if Obama is actually a citizen and was born in this country.

What does this mean if they find out he is illegal? I hope this isn’t true, but something is starting to stink in the white house and it is more then BO.

[Then and only then will you be able to know the truth about your Creator] I got your truth right here...

[County employees’ free insurance] Here's the way my post really ended, before Deer Ed changed it so it didn't make sense any more: Either way, this budget cycle and county employees (including the commissioners) paying for their own health insurance premiums are on a direct collision path.

I was looking at the most wanted listed on the Sheriff's office arrest log. I think I saw all of these fellows in a rock band the other night at a local watering hole on Ramrod. They sounded pretty good, all things considered.

I find it so funny that Sandy Downs uses the email sandy@sandyforsherreff.com. Lady, you lost. Get over it and move on.

[How to cook a lobster in the most humane manner] I don't think this person lives in the Keys. Down here we rip the tails off, ram an antenna up their rear to remove the intestine, and throw them into boiling water. So much for the humane approach!

I heard Tim the a/c fixer died! Does anybody know anything? Also Carlos Rodriguez died as well. Does anybody remember Alloy, the little Cuban dude? He was at Coconuts a lot. He told me once that if he knew how hard it was in America he would have stayed in Cuba. Instead he got to experience the land of the free, and they cremated him against his wishes--see how it works?

[Outboard thieves. Those parts have serial numbers hidden in them … the parts could be easily spotted] This begs the question, if they are hidden, how could they be easily spotted?

Open Cuba now! www.opencuba.org

American's won't back the Afghan War for long. Americans Won't Back Long Afghan War: Gates | CommonDreams.org

[Sen Ted Kennedy Bad] Did Ted offer Mary Jo Kopechne health insurance at Chappaquiddick?

[From the Right] Healthcare. Unlike reticent Obama supporter I’m proud to state that he is posting to attempt to convince as many folks as is humanly possible that Socialized Medicine is an atrocious idea that is contrary to the best interests of America. That Obama supporter and Socialized medicine advocate suggested that side effects of Socialized Medicine might foster certain economic benefits by increasing sales of medicine and increasing calls for service in the healthcare industry. It strikes me that one of the current complaints that we hear is that the system is currently overloaded thus contributing to the excessive costs. Undoubtedly it would increase calls for service with the attendant increase in costs. When anything is perceived as being a “freebie” folks flock to it. The cost to deliver the service skyrockets. Free ice cream or free medical check ups cost money. Right or wrong, millions now believe that Socialized Medicine will deliver “free” medical care. Thinking folks know that it won’t. There is very credible evidence that wholesale routine medical check ups fail to materially affect the public health picture. There are a series of very interesting articles available on the web for review. The point is clear that requiring mass routine health check ups will be grotesquely expensive for little benefit. This of course does not speak at all to the issue of an individual’s right not to submit their person to public scrutiny. The Obama supporter states that he believes that the penalty for not submitting to government ordered check ups might well “only” be loss of coverage that the government requires him to have. He makes this claim while denigrating the notion of Health Police. I submit that there is a massive disconnect in this reasoning. Why should there be any penalty at all for declining a medical check up? Why should any American be forced to submit their bodies and their treasure to a government run health care system? Mr. Obama has trotted out some health care business persons who purportedly support his plan. I have no notion of what benefits were promised those entities, but would remind the reader of Mr. Obama’s false claim that the Caterpillar Corporation was supportive of his stimulus package and that he claimed that as a result of his program that they would be re-hiring laid off workers. That same day Caterpillar execs denied Mr. Obama’s statement and the company was forced to continue layoffs. I note that on Monday The Mayo Clinic, one of our nation’s preeminent health care institutions spoke out firmly against the Obama Socialized Medicine plan.

There is no doubt that Mr. Obama’s plan requires that every single American join! If you decide that you will not enter the government plan, you will be forced to submit to a private, government approved plan. Refuse and you will be penalized. There are two huge problems with these facts. First: No American should be forced to submit his treasure or body to the government for healthcare. Second. Private health care plans would soon be doomed because the government would set regulations and price controls that would be impossible to comply or compete with. The sole remaining provider will be the government. Imagine getting this subpoena: “Mr. Fisher, you are hereby ordered to report to Dr. Nye’s office at 9:00 AM on Friday, August 23, 2010 for your annual colon-rectal screening. Failure to comply with this Health Care Order will result a penalty as prescribed by law”. Don’t forget that the government will take great interest in your lifestyle in order to keep health care costs low. If you like sugar, alcohol, tobacco, lack of exercise, fatty foods, etc. etc.., remember that they too will all be part and parcel of government controlled health care. This shameful nonsense will bankrupt America. Elections do indeed have consequences.

(Part II) Mr. Obama has been trumpeting that doctors and hospitals are supportive of Socialized Medicine. The preeminent hospital group in the nation, the not for profit Mayo Clinic, sure gives lie to that claim. Just yesterday they announced their opposition to the plan, they said: “the proposed legislation misses the opportunity to help create higher quality, more affordable health care for patients." "In fact, it will do the opposite," clinic officials said, because the proposals aren't patient-focused or results-oriented. "The real losers will be the citizens of the United States."

Why men do not write advice columns. “Ask Mike”
Dear Mike,
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I didn’t drive more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbors daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore. Can you please help?
Sheila

Dear Sheila:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.
I hope this helps, Mike

Maine lobsterman charged in shooting over (surf and) turf war. http://www.seacoastonline.com/articles/20090721-NEWS-90721009

[Just Wondering] When you are ever going to stop posting this drivel? Do you think it's funny/insightful/witty? Trust me, it is none of those things. You sound like some old fart who has driven off most of his family with your nonsensical musings and now use our forum to bore an even larger audience. Nasty little swipe you made at the Cubans too. Seems you are a bigot as well as being dull witted. I'm sure that you are also the type of person that will never listen to anyone else no matter how many people tell you how foolish you sound (think Sloan, Sandy and Sal).

[Karma] Wife of man killed in NY hotel said he hit her

I heard that Tall Rusty from Ave H died. Does anyone know if this is true? He used to hang at Coconuts. He even worked there mornings for a while.

[Healthcare] Let me give you a concrete example of government run healthcare.

My dad died in a Veteran's Administration hospital. It was so overcrowded that his bed was not even in a room, it was in the hall! They were so understaffed that it took the patient in the bed across the hall from him (right, he wasn't in a room either) four hours to get someone's attention to tell them that my father had died.

And, that's when they are responsible for only a small portion of the population's care. Think how well they'll handle it when they have to take care of twenty times as many people.

Seen on social networking site: Hey Baby wanna cum over to Myspace so I can Twitter your Yahoo until you Google all over my Facebook?

[Captured Soldier water-boarded I'd love to see someone from the Bush administration weigh in on that one.] I'd love to see or hear just one civil rights group, the Red Cross, the ACLU or the united voice of the far f**king left who've been screaming, protesting and whining about the mistreatment of terrorists, to support our troops-just once when this happens and show some real anger over that

But they just can't. Why? Because they are, always have been and always will be more supportive of our enemies who want to kill us than those who risk their lives to keep their sorry asses safe. Being water-boarded with doctors present is better than real physical torture--pain, dismemberment and be-headings. The voice of the terrorist-loving supporters in America will always weep for the terrorists. Let us all insert 2 raised middle fingers right here for them.

Nick Berg was pushed to the floor and screamed as one of the executioners wielded a large knife. The man sawed off Berg's head while the other captors shouted: "Allahu Akbar!" Arabic for god is great!

God Bless America, her troops and her legal citizens.

Sandy (Downs), aren't you embarrassed about your family constantly getting smeared around here? Why do you humor it with a response unless you somehow get a rise out of it? Do you not understand that you are the laughing stock of this town? Please, just go away. ~cruzaholic41@aol.com

They should be hung, no trial. 3 accused of letting rats chew toes off Ohio baby

[Ladies] If a female beats on another female, why would you call her a lady? That’s hardly the right word.

I knew it. A new poll shows Americans are losing trust in Obama and the Dem Party. Too bad.

[Typical tenant] You are wrong on what the tenants and landlord’s responsibilities are. The terms of the lease dictate what the responsibilities are. Light bulbs are definitely not the responsibility of a landlord. Landlord responsibilities usually fall into the category of health and safety. For example, working toilets and loose stairways are usually the responsibility of the landlord, however any responsibility can be dictated by a lease agreement.

There is a lot of Winn Dixie bashing going on. I doubt if the new billboard by Crazy Fish will help their image. Check it out. What will come next?

[Spam] Whenever you sign a petition on line or enter a contest, the primary purpose of your registration is to get your working email address which can be sold to spammers and marketers for huge profits. If that weren’t the case they would not ask for your email address. They would only ask for your name and zip code.

If you believe their disclaimer saying they will not use your email address to sell—you are being duped by professionals. Remember that they are in the business of selling addresses not conducting surveys of sweepstakes.

Stop being naïve or I know of a Nigerian General that wants to give you 34 million dollars. All you have to do is send him your bank account number and PIN so he can deposit it to your account!

[Why aren't lawmakers dumping their costly federal insurance plan saving American taxpayer money and joining Obama Care] That was another dumb question, but I’ll try to answer it. Because there is no plan in effect yet.

I'll have a large order of the giant calamari. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjR4H3pZBMI

[Jesus] "When you find out who Jesus really is and what He's done for you." Just what the hell has Jesus done for me, except brainwash a bunch of sheep?

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu

Wednesday July 22, 2009

Tuesday July 21, 2009

[County Health Plan Changes] After further consideration, no changes pertaining to the Group Health Insurance Plan will be presented by staff to the BOCC for the meeting scheduled for July 13^theat 2:00 p.m.

This notice on the County website is a complete slap in the face to county taxpayers.When will the changes to the County employees Group Health Insurance Plan be presented by staff to the BOCC?

To county employees: like it or not, the day is coming when you will have to start paying (contributing) towards your own health insurance premiums. This is a big expense, and it will be shifted off the backs of the taxpayers onto the wallets of the employees.

Why should Monroe County employees (even public safety, fire/rescue) be more privileged than people employed by the private sector? Being employed by Monroe County does not come with entitlement. Public sector employees (file clerks, public works, admin assistants and cops) all over the country pay for their own health insurance premiums.

If the County is really smart, the best bang for the employees’ own buck is to abandon the self-insured health insurance method. The time for “self-insured” to be a more profitable option has passed. The current health insurance actuarial experts, who are the experts at expense and loss figures, say that all actuarial tables and reports show that self-insured expenses are higher than dealing directly.

The County employees who recommended staying with the self-insured method made that recommendation because they are not trained insurance experts, objectively analyzing the choices. They are County employees, who go with what's easiest, or familiar, and least disruptive to their fellow employees. That's like asking people who get free parking if the parking lot should install parking meters. (The answer is yes, if it's the taxpayers who are paying for the parking).

Nothing is free. Somebody pays. It's just not going to be the taxpayers anymore when the bill is for County employee health insurance.

Taxpayers pay 100% for the County employees not their families. If their families are covered, the employee does contribute to the plan.

Will the effect on the County employee be the same as a pay cut? Yes. But the other alternative is just take a plain 10%-15% pay cut, or work 35 hrs/week and get paid for 35 hrs/week, which would also reduce your FRS benefit contributions (also made by the taxpayers.)

In this budget cycle, County employees (including the commissioners) not paying for their own health insurance are on a direct collision path with the taxpayers. The taxpayers are fed up, and speaking up.

Swine Flu claimed the first Florida Keys person’s life yesterday.

[Shark Key] You can do your own research on the Clerk's website for the BOCC agendas and minutes. It is all public record.

Recall that Shark Key was a "cold spot" in the Master Plan. Then presto it was sewered. No public notice, hearing, begging, pleading, or being told that they must pay full costs. Thirty-four homes paid $4,500 each to connect. I have seen county and FKAA figures for the rest of us that are between $48,500 to $50,000 each (depending on who you ask). Dear taxpayer, you paid the difference. Furthermore, the county allowed FKAA to install sewers on private property. Now they are telling us in the Cudjoe Regional System that we must pay the full costs and hire and pay a contractor to run the line from the street to our home (estimated to be another $5000). Below is the Minutes of the BOCC meeting where Shark Key’s free sewer was approved. If you don't think the BOCC is discriminating against the blue collar working class, then your sense of justice and fairness is skewed.

And what about No Name Key and spots on Big Pine Key? No Name has been in the Plan as a "hot spot" based on EPA scientific data, and the BOCC kicked those 44 homes out of the Plan. Places in Big Pine that were "cold spots" are now "warm spots." This is insane. The state law requires that ultimately everyone must be on central sewer connection to a treatment plant that will meet 5/5/5/1. How many times are the Commissioners going to require you to spend your money for on-site systems that do not meet the state's water quality standard when the state law requires the county to run the central sewer and you must connect within 30 days of being told that central sewer connection is available in your street. We must clean up the water and save the reefs or all beaches will be closed down forever.

Board of County Commissioners, Wednesday April 18 2007, Key West Florida:
Liz Wood Sr Administrator Sewer Projects addressed the Board. After discussion motion was made by Commissioner Neugent and seconded by Commissioner Spehar granting approval for the FKAA to install the collection system for Shark Key located within the Big Coppitt Service Area. Roll call vote was unanimous

[Coconuts] The owners of Coconuts are not Jesus Freaks. When a person believes in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior that does not make them Jesus Freaks. Maybe one day when you find out who Jesus really is and what He's done for you, then and only then will you be able to know the truth about your Creator. God bless you.

Computers are like men because…
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time
they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

Coast Guard Auxiliary awards Marine Safety Award.
People in picture are: Don Kittsmiller, Jan Kittsmiller, Luke Moore, Brad Miller, John Hedberg. They are receiving awards for participating in pollution control.

Send in the clowns. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CAX3aJCoDg

Just Wondering.
If the power stations go out, where do we get drinking water?
Why don't fat people pay more taxes than skinny people?
Is thunder God's gas?
How come Cubans breed so many kids?
Why isn't puberty the legal age?
Who really has the Big Red Button?
Why people believe advertising on TV?
Which diet will make you diet terminally?
Can cats live without us?
Why are people cracking up?
Is sugar really good for you?
Why don't the young listen to the old?
How come most poor people are fat?
What class of people is Obama in?

[Free Healthcare] I think all this misinformation about national healthcare is being spread by the medical and insurance industry and the right wing press.

[Healthcare] In response to the fellow that is against Obama’s healthcare plan I would like to point out a few items he may not have thought through. In his post he says I was trying to convince everyone that socialized medicine is a cash cow. Nope, that ‘s not my point at all. My point was that, as with any change, it affects the outcome in different ways. The added jobs and materials needed and the education training needed could be a positive that should be considered. I’m not posting to change anyone’s opinion; I’m here to tell you my outlook. We can all figure it out for ourselves. He also stated that "Healthcare does not generate anything." Again I disagree. If there is an increase in preventive medicine where does it come from? I’m thinking labs and pharmaceutical companies. They don’t just magically appear. More people using more supplies does, indeed generate manufactured goods. I trust the fellow will get the gist of this and realize that if you need more, then you create more.

I’m sure even he knows that the pharmaceutical companies and 3 major hospital organizations have already said the President’s plan can work and are lowering their costs by billions of dollars to help support the plan. Maybe the gentleman responding knows more about the businesses of hospitals and their suppliers then they do, but I tend to believe they may take the lead in this one. As for the penalties one may have imposed for not getting the checkups, that’s still in the works and may just may mean you lose your coverage. If you catch a disease or illness before it spreads the patient will have a much better chance of living. The line he wrote about the "Health Police" is just Republican fear-mongering. I’m sure I can’t change his mind about saving money, but I have a feeling catching disease in its earliest stage is a hell of a lot better then waiting for the disease to spread and be in a more severe state before being treated.

I stress and this, it is very important: If you do not want to use the national healthcare plan--don’t. Feel free to keep your own insurance it will still be available. This isn’t forced and no, the big bad health police won’t come in during the middle of the night with guns in your face pulling you out because you kept your own medical insurance.

[B-747 crash] Just the facts please. According to the NTSB report two people on the ground were killed. Some news reports state that one adult and two kids were killed. NTSB hasn't finalized their report yet, but if three engines out of four failed just after takeoff that indicates to this 28 year airline veteran that a fuel problem was most likely the cause.

I would like to know what the crew, particularly the flight engineer, has to say about it. Perhaps Captain Beebe could enlighten us on this forum. After all, information is the best way to help other crews from getting into a similar situation.

[Somali gangs] Whatever happen to just good old fashioned American gangs? Minneapolis struggles with rise of Somali gangs

[3 greatest entertainers] There were others prior to those mentioned, but Elvis was the first to blatantly use sex with his hip gyrations. M.J. took it further by grabbing his crotch. Up until then the great entertainers merely sang and just stood there.

[Has voting done you any good lately] Hell yea! No more Dixie! No more Sonny! We're 2 for 2 so thank a voter.

[B-747 Crash] Did you also report that 3 people did die from the crash? They were not passengers but residents. The plane landed on their house.

[From the Right] Do we have the “right” to medical care? We know that we have the right to vote, to have firearms, to due process, to freedom of speech. Our rights are clearly delineated in our founding documents. There is no mention of health care in our founding documents. Every one of our enumerated rights carries with it the fundamental guarantee that you do not have to exercise the enumerated right. You’re not required to carry a gun or to vote, you don’t have to stand on a corner with a placard giving your political views. You can confess and plead guilty to the crime. According to Mr. Obama’s socialized medicine plan, any right to health care that might exist will be meaningless. You will not have the right to say “no” to health care. If you refuse to join his plan, you will be penalized. Participation in a health care plan will be absolutely mandatory. It’s been reported that annual health checkups will be mandatory. Prepare yourself for new government control of your lives from the Health Care Police who will tell you what, where, and when you will be subjected to health care. When thinking about his plan, remember that the cheapest health care is no health care at all. That’s the basic reason that one of Mr. Obama’s mechanisms of reducing health