F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Saturday May 31, 2008

I take my responsibility to vote very seriously.  We elect people to office to govern. We give them the power to dramatically change our lives for better or sometimes, for worse.  I have done considerable research on the candidates running for office this year including the office of Monroe County Sheriff. I want to cast my vote to the person I feel is most qualified.  Obviously, Ms. Downs and Mr. Horan aren’t even remotely qualified for the position.  That leaves Capt. Bob Peryam, Ken Davis and Phil Mandina.  I find that both Capt. Peryam and Ken Davis have many years of experience and very solid resumes.  Both have many years of well documented law enforcement backgrounds. 

While researching Mr. Mandina however, I find many troublesome issues.  First he claims to be a Monroe County and Keys resident for 30 years. ("Ocean Reef, Islamorada, Summerland, Sugarloaf, Key West") Oddly, he is not listed in the Monroe County property records showing any residential home ownership in the Keys.  His stated Keys address is a house that, according to record, is owned by another individual. Has he rented for 30 years? On his campaign contributions filing he lists his address as being in Miami Lakes. Further, he claims to have many awards.  Such things as the “J. Edgar Hoover Award” and a “Knights of Justice” award.  With a little research I find that those so-called “awards” can be purchased from an organization that calls itself the Police Hall of Fame, a roadside attraction that operates a museum, a gun shop/shooting range and gift shop in Titusville, Florida.  Most troubling is the fact that those “awards” are available by submitting an on-line application for a fee of $25 each.

Among his other vague claims he states that he has had “Accounting and Private Business experience with 100 Million dollar police budget.”  I would like to know exactly where that would be.  A budget that size would have to be a major metropolitan city police department at least the size of Miami.  There are a number of other questionable items as well. It seems to me that Mr. Mandina has fluffed, bloated and exaggerated his resume and qualifications for his own self-aggrandizement and promotion. 

I encourage everyone to research and consider very carefully each candidate running for office during this election cycle.  The 2008 elections may be the most important in decades for Monroe County.  We can’t afford any more incompetence, irresponsibility and foolishness from our elected officials.  Please get out and vote, but do the homework and vote smart!

How long does menopause last? A writer described the symptoms that my wife of twenty-five years is exhibiting. She stopped having her period one or two years ago and for the last year or so she has been acting so strange that I’ve stopped talking to her. It’s like talking to wood. She misinterprets everything. The thing that the writer mentioned that got my attention the most is when he said things went missing! That’s what drives me nuts. Things just vanish. Nothing valuable, just a pan or a shoe or some other incidental.

When does it end and when can I have my wife back?

[Attack Iraq] I just found this televised speech by the former President in the record today, check out what the Dude-in-Charge said in this televised prime time message to the entire nation and world: 

“Earlier today, I ordered America's armed forces to strike military and security targets in Iraq.  They are joined by British forces.  Their mission is to attack Iraq's nuclear, chemical and biological weapons programs and its military capacity to threaten its neighbors.” 

How about that, can you believe it?  What you just read is a direct quote from a televised speech that President William Jefferson Clinton, the darling of our liberal pals, gave on December 16, 1998. I guess he was cherry picking and propagandizing too.  Please be advised that entire speech is easy to find on the web.

[Movie Review] I'm really depressed after catching the new movie Sex and The City because I don't have a Mister Big or any prospects, nor do I have four fun girlfriends or man friends.  Plus the movie was predictable, lengthy, Mister Big was fat and needed a Biore Strip on his big nose and Samantha's blonde movie star boy-toy looks terribly old, has a wort on his face and you can tell by the sound of his voice that he chain smokes.  Save your money and have Cosmopolitans instead.

[Chopped liver] I’m mad that my vote doesn’t count. Who elected the jerks that changed the primary dates anyway? Floridians don’t care if we have early primaries. That was big businesses’ decision in order to fill big businesses pockets. Moves like that are done for profit not to make a better electoral process for the people.

Yesterday a poster made some startling claims about Obama, the poster suggested that Obama was a seasoned world hand who has had extensive exposure to the world and the problems of the world.  The poster suggested that McCain is an old fart mired in old ways.  Let’s take a quick look at “Citizen of the World” Obama: Obama was born in the USA on 8/4/61.  At the age of 6 he moved to Indonesia with his Mom and step father, he attended grade schools there, he split time between a Muslim school and a Christian school.  He lived there till the ripe old age of 10 when he returned to live with his maternal grand parents.  There is no record to be found if Obama learned of the local Indonesian economy by employment or simple observation.  Perhaps he held bake sales.  I can find no record of any further international travel until he was elected to a U.S. Senate seat only 4 years ago. Perhaps his fund of knowledge of world problems comes from reading The Weekly Reader. His record as an Illinois State Legislator began in 1994 and appears to be devoid of any foreign initiatives.  His brief tenure as Senator appears to be his first exposure to the intricacies of foreign affairs. Obama is an empty suit!

Don't forget the 15th Annual Big Pine & Lower Keys Dolphin Tournament June 6, 7 & 8, 2008. there’s more than $36,000 at stake! Bulletin Board

[Bush's Press Secretary tell-all] It’s amazing how a man once considered honest and telling the truth, according to Americas right-wingers, can all of a sudden become a horrible, lying, dishonest person because he tells us what he saw and what his take on things that happened in the Bush administration concerning the Iraq war. Sometimes if you lie for a reason or you mislead people the right thing to do is leave your job and finally tell the truth and clear your soul. Someday we will hear the story from Colon Powell’s perspective and then we will be able to put together the entire story. I applaud Powell’s staying out of the limelight during this time. Most Americans know that the war for lies was a charade at best, so sit back, watch the rightwing nuts insult the man they once loved and watch their insults and usual wild assumptions about "wetspots" in men’s pants (insert closet toe-tapping-republican-male jokes here) and remember in November that the last 8 years of a Republican presidency has done enough damage to America that it will take 20 years to clean up. Pick up the flag out of the republican mud, clean it up and help restore America to its former leadership and dignity role in the world’s eye. Iraqis no more want a democracy in their country then Rush Limbaugh needs another pill doctor. Forced democracies are not freedom of choice. If you didn’t get the hint when an entire battalion of Iraqi soldiers (about 3 months ago) turned all of their equipment including weapons and trucks over to the enemy and joined them in a celebration, you never will.

I think McCain should pick his vice president well. Chances are pretty good McCain won’t make it through his term considering his advanced age and health record.

If the President catches the clap, do we call him the Burning Bush?

[Menopause] My ex-girlfriend was good for about one week a month. The week before, the week during and the week after her cycle was pure hell. Thank God she chose to live with someone else.  The 7 Dwarves of menopause are the exact reason I have chosen the single life. Besides, the Caribbean and South America have a virtual "fountain of youth" and beauty awaiting!

Big Kudos to yesterday’s Zoom slide show. I have always thought that the microcosms of cell structure resembled that of the cosmos and universe. The late Carl Sagan said it best: "We are all made of star-stuff.'"

[Obama is the man for the times] That is so true. These are different times, everything has changed. We’ve got to have a president that understands foreigners and Muslims. I know Americans get crazy whenever you mention Muslims, but they are an unstoppable force to be reckoned with. We should realize by now that bullets and bombs don’t work on them. Bombs can’t kill an ideology. We need a leader who understands them and can deal with them on their level and steer this nation in the direction where we can understand each other and live in peace.

Comcast is installing fiber optical cables in the Keys. This is fine and requires no electric as it uses light waves. However, to energize you paranoids, that type of system can both give you a digital picture, sound, communication and also work as a peeping tom by way of a mini cam the size of a pin head. The spy poles are not enough, right?  Sleep tight!

Overall Hillary would be our best President, she’s the most qualified, but if all Obama does is get us out of Iraq as quickly as possible that will be good enough for now.

I challenge the Florida Keys people to all fly our American flags! If my Peace Rallies make you mad, then please show our support starts at home with a flag. How many flags will we see? If you want to do something, this is a good start. End the War. Bring them home alive.

"Chopped Liver" would like to know how this Florida Democratic primary fiasco ever came to be.  "Loyal Opposition" feel free to chime in.

Seeing the Storm-Safe shelter is advertising here, I wonder if they ship to the midwest and will it work in a hail storm?

Remember, if it floats, flies or s**ts, it's bound to break and you'll need to get a new one.

 

[Not afraid of nuclear power plants] Yes, like Chernobyl, 3-Mile Island and several others never mentioned. Remember the China Syndrome? it will happen and we all will be cooked?

If you have a dream then God has a plan.
He’s moved mountains before,
He’ll move mountains again.
Give yourself to the Lord in wholeness and grace
You too can move mountains
If you have the faith.
 
I have a dream
we live in harmony
one human family where courtesy prevails
Where freedom is welcome
a badge is a symbol of justice
our treasures are our children
and U.S. 1 means us are one.
 
I have a dream
we’re all treated equally
honesty and truth manifest in integrity
Where the halls of the judges
doors are always open
the public servants are real
And accountable to everyone.

I would be perfectly happy if I never saw or heard another cop or police car as long as I live. The more cops, prisons and paraphernalia you see the more a nation has degenerated. The criminal element in the U.S. is not located in your neighborhood, (although cops and politicians desperately want you to believe it is). The most heinous psychopaths are none other than those elites who inhabit the hallowed halls of Congress, the Supreme Court, the Pentagon and the White House.

I was going to work yesterday and I was waiting for a traffic light. Some jack-leg cop hit his "woop woop" siren a few licks right by my ear just because he was tired of waiting for the light and wanted everyone to stop for "The Man". He was out of uniform and didn't turn on his lights after he bullied his way through the intersection. That's a small thing, but it demonstrates a thug attitude. We're sick to death of these pretenders acting the fool and preying on the public. The CIA brings the drugs into this country and hands them out to be sold. The drug dealers they do bust are those who are not on their payroll. This is documented, proven beyond doubt. Look at the CIA plane that crashed recently while hauling five tons of cocaine into the U.S. They are doing a land office business keeping the corporate-owned prisons full of people who use drugs supplied by our own government. The whole dog and pony show is rotten as hell and we need to say "Washington, you're fired!"

[Hearts and Minds] Every time I watch our guys in Iraq kick in some poor guy's front door I have to suspect it's another nail in our coffin over there.

This has got to be the most creative way to beg for money that I've seen other than the one that says "oh heck with it, I need a beer".

[Obama is the man for the times] What the hell do I care what the rest of the world thinks about the USA?  The world problems that you think we have are caused by the spineless government officials trying to please the rest of the world.  Screw the rest of the world.  If we turn our back on them, they'll come running to us the next time they need anything.  We will not need them--ever.

It's nice that you've drunk the Kool-Aid in the Bush-3-McCain’s-too-old-we-need-change stuff. The only change we need is to get rid of all politics-as-usual.  We need to get the government out of our lives, not deeper into our lives. If you buy the change that Obama is selling - we've got real troubles coming.

Thanks to whoever put on the web site for Crazy Fish.  I had a lot of fun looking at all the videos and even signed the guest book.  Keep it up Betty!

Next year, fer mah Birfday, Roscoe's gonna get me a porch.

The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.

Saturday May 31, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Friday May 30, 2008

Regarding the poor man asking about menopause--be afraid, be very afraid. I lived through many hormonal changes with my spouse. The monthly visitor was always an adventure but it paled to the dancing hormones of pregnancy. Absolutely all bets were off with the menopause, this was no longer the woman I knew and loved. Our marriage of almost 30 years went right down the proverbial poop-chute.  I am not kidding. Go into the hurricane shelter, bring enough food, water and entertainment for a year and just stay there. Appoint a power of attorney to someone (not her because she will begin to lose all reason and logic, beyond the loss of reason and logic that a woman has in normal times.) Arm yourself just in case the perimeter is breached by incoming insanity. If you have pets, it is a good idea to get them out of there as well. Have you ever seen the movie Night of the Living Dead?  It is something like that. Never joke about hot flashes as their sense of humor is no longer a viable thing. The preview of the onset of things to come is their ability to laugh and cry simultaneously. Things will start to come up missing. If you think that you are right about something, just forget it. To argue with a menopausal woman is like trying to get a gator to agree to you brushing its teeth.  The second stage has them sending bolts of lightening ouy of their eyes along with smoke followed by fire from every body orifice. Sex is no longer an option, seek a monastery or some other haven for celibacy. When all the other symptoms pass, the lack of sex drive may never go away. When you get the 'need' for sex, look at pictures of Nancy Pelosi or Barbara Bush (that works for me). So basically, forget everything good that you have been accustomed to in marriage, amplify the bad things exponentially to the power of googleplex, erect warning signs on your property for the benefit of others that she might harm or injure and stay in that shelter for one year at least.

Obama is the man for the times. It’s too bad Americans are so narrow-minded and afraid. He knows what foreigners think and he knows what Muslims think. We have world problems in this new world economy. Obama understands this. He’s the only candidate with a complete world view and experience living in foreign lands.  We need that particular qualification at this time. McCain is too old to change his thinking. He still believes we’re fighting the cold war.

Mosquito spray. I can't wait to try this. I was at a deck party awhile back, and the bugs were having a ball biting everyone.   A man at the party sprayed the lawn and deck floor with Listerine, and the little demons disappeared.   The next year I filled a 4-ounce spray bottle and used it around my seat whenever I saw mosquitoes.   And voila! That worked as well. It worked at a picnic where we sprayed the area around the food table, the children's swing area, and the standing water nearby.   During the summer, I don't leave home without it.

Friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

[ATM theft] This is pretty simple and ingenious way to steal. Slide Show

[Howard Livingston and the MM24 Band] Well we are officially on our summer tour. We headed out of the Keys yesterday afternoon not to return until Fall. We were rewarded by a magnificent view from the high perch of our panoramic wonderland. The waters were again aglow with those post card colors that make the Florida Keys such a special place. When we load the bus and support vehicles and head out on tour, it’s always with mixed emotions: the excitement of seeing old friends, making new ones along the way, offset with the temporary goodbye to our friends in the Keys and my favorite place in the world, my back porch. I never forget to realize how fortunate we are to be doing what we do. I have heard it said that if you can count your good friends on the fingers of one hand you are a lucky person. Well, I would have to be a centipede to accomplish that.

We should call this our friends and family tour. First of all I am traveling with my best friends, wives, girlfriends and my dogs. That’s right, we have three dogs on the bus as our circus heads down the road. It is so fun to experience the world through their eyes as they all three stand at the front looking out the windshield at the country going past them. Every passing truck or road sign something to be studied. 

Nuclear energy is safe and efficient, but there’s that nasty byproduct that the energy-at-any-cost crowd don’t mention. What do we do with the waste? The Yucca mountain repository can’t be certified because it was built on a fault line in Arizona. No one has any other ideas. We could put it in deep injection wells with the other stuff we don't know what to do with.

It's a bummer being off the rock, but BPK.com still rocks when viewed from afar.  I noted today that the Bush Bashers have a  damp spot on their shorts concerning the naughty book written by Scott McClellan.  I noticed too a spray of spittle on the monitor from them.  I wish I could figure out a way make them prove that they've actually read the book before they claim that it proves W was doing any prevaricating.  I've got to wonder just how much character and honesty can live in the heart of the author.  If W was a liar, Scotty boy was his faithful and adoring mouthpiece. McClellan routinely vouched for and supported the W administration’s position.  It looks to me like Scott is an admitted whore, either then or now.   I haven't read the book yet, but I probably won't enrich Scotty by buying one (library here I come).  I hope that McClellan can look in the mirror when he shaves.  His mom must be proud of his character.

Injade is playing Friday night at the Looe Key Tiki Bar, so put on your dancin' shoes and come on out and party with the band!

[What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause] An around the world cruise always works. You go east and she goes west, and you can wave to each other at the half way point!

[Bacon Grease Twins] I can't even think that anyone could have such low self-esteem to look like that. The gross Bacon Grease lady is a beauty queen compared to those ugly sweat hogs. I want to know where they found the cast iron camera to take the picture? 

Congressional staff salaries and more. www.legistorm.com 

[Police vehicles] I can't believe all that is being said on this subject. I believe it is not a perk as much as it is a condition of employment to make up for the lower pay and cost to live down here. There is a lot of turn over in law enforcement because of the cost to live in the Keys. Many could leave tomorrow and make a lot more money somewhere else in the state. If you don't like it, I believe they have openings on their web site, feel free to apply, go through the certification course (if you make it that far in the interview process) then go to work on weekends, nights, (no day shift for a few years) and put up with all of the stuff that goes with the job ( drunks, domestic disturbances, etc). And you too can have a car to bring home. I personally believe they deserve it.

Starting Deputies in Monroe County make $36,000, with no raises in the foreseeable future.  Senior deputies are barely breaking $40,000.  To say those deputies aren't "paying their way" because they have take-home cars is downright stupid.  Another stupid comment by the same poster was that cops aren't responsible for their cars.  That is total B.S.  Cops are responsible for maintenance, oil changes, cleanliness, and are routinely inspected to make sure they are keeping up.   Bravo to the person shedding light on how much more expensive it would be to not have cops taking cars home.  Although I doubt you got through these thick skulls.

[Voted in Good Faith]  First of all the election was declared invalid before you voted, not afterward.  I voted also just for the heck of it, but I knew going in to the voting booth that the primary would not count according to Democrat National Committee rules.  That is the way it should remain regardless of what Hillary and right wing political hacks wish for.  You might remember that Obama followed the rules and did not campaign in Michigan or Florida before the primary.  He wasn't even on the ballot in Michigan. 

[Dog GPS] Zoombak Advanced GPS Dog Locators Now Available

State Government; please don't leave me alone down here.

This is some serious zooming. Slide Show

The bacon grease lady moved upstate with her keyboard banging boyfriend. Another double loss for the keys.

A very important new book by the most respected prosecutor in the U.S. "The Prosecution of George W. Bush for Murder" by Vincent Bugliosi, who was the prosecutor of Charles Manson family.  Let's get these lying thugs behind bars where they belong.

People have been calling me jealous because I mentioned that Police and other county employees are allowed free gas and car usage at the taxpayers expense. Sorry to disappoint you but I own a small business that allows me to use my car as a tax write-off. However, at a time when the County has such deep financial problems, which are leading to more and more layoffs, hard decisions have to be made. No County employee should get free gas and vehicles until the Commission gets it financial houses in order. I do find it interesting that the same people that were screaming for a tax increase to pay for sewers because they wanted everyone to pay their fair share, now don’t want County employees to be responsible for their own way to work. To the windbags telling me how these Police are saving my whiny arse, all I can say is that I’ve never needed a policeman to save me from anything and, hopefully God willing, I never will. I kind of figure that since I'm retired military I also served them just as well. While they were going to the Academy I was in foreign lands serving also.

Citizens have a responsibility to look at their local government to make sure they are acting in a fiscally responsible manner and if they are pinching every penny they can. Free cars and fuel at this time is not fiscally responsible. I will vote accordingly. No jealousy and no animosity. I’m  just watching what the people spending our money are doing.

[What is fart gas made of-a burning question] The composition of fart gas is highly variable.  Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed by the body before the gas gets into the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.

[Dams to give the whole world power] Dams only work for power generation when geographical conditions, such as elevation are favorable. This is why you don't see too many in Florida and a lot of other states. And even if they could supply the world's power, which is impossible, the environmentalists would stop them cold. Remember the snail darter episode?

[I Voted in Good Faith] Unfortunately you are chopped liver. The Democratic Party is a private organization. The state party leaders of the Democratic Party in Florida chose to break the rules of that private organization knowing full-well the consequences of that action. Don't blame the government; they don't have a dog in this fight. Blame the Florida Democrat Party leaders or blame yourself for not holding the party leaders in check by being active in the party before hand. I am sure that when you and others went to vote in the Democratic primary you were aware of the controversy and the possible outcome.

But fear not, if the Clinton's are one thing it is consummate politicians and a move is afoot by the National Democratic Party to seat delegates from Florida and Michigan.

I am not afraid of nuclear power plants. I think they are a clean practical energy source. Clean coal power plants are OK too. I am not talking about dirty coal plants like the Chinese have.

Don't be so sure that having a fire engine or a police car parked next to your house would give you any added security, (except what you may have in your own mind).  In the town I'm originally from up north the 24-hour manned fire station was located right next to the local high school. The school caught fire early one morning and burned to a total loss before the firemen could get awake and get their equipment going next door, 100 feet away! We also had a cop's house broken into while a police car was parked in the driveway. Considering that the town I'm from, the officials aren't the sharpest pencils in the box. It could still happen somewhere else.

What it boils down to is taxpayers are footing the bill for employees to have unlimited use of official emergency vehicles. The vehicles are officially marked and are equipped with flashing lights and sirens. We've seen off-duty cops speeding, running red lights and ignoring traffic laws while driving these emergency vehicles for their own use and not on an emergency call. You don't see many ambulance drivers take the ambulance home and drive it to the  kids' ball game waiting for an emergency call. The problem here is this class of elites have talked themselves into believing they deserve all their special privileges, because they "take care” of the rest of us. Hogwash! I'm old enough to recall when the United States still had some sanity in leadership, and we did just fine without roadblocks, helicopters hovering--costing a thousand dollars an hour,  and 911 on the telephone. To a lot of us all this nonsense is pure profiteering on people's fear. Scare everybody into thinking we've got to have police cars on every corner because your neighbors might be Al Qaida. The real terrorists are out-of-control government thugs. The sooner we realize this, the sooner we can get back to some sort of decent life in this nation.

The Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce recently sponsored our annual essay contest asking eighth grade students at Sugarloaf Middle School to write on the theme “If You Could Grant One Wish For Another Person, What Would That Be And Why?”   Approximately 31 essays were evaluated by the Board of Director’s Essay Committee which were highly imaginative and showed a great deal of insight by the students with many thought provoking and heart-warming ideas for wishes for other people.

US Savings Bonds donated by First State Bank will be awarded at graduation on June 10^th at 7 p.m. to the following students:
First Place: $150.00 bond Amber Kogelis
Second Place: $100.00 bond C.J. Boykin
Third Place: $50.00 bond Sharrie Pearl-Mihalinec
Fourth Place: $50.00 bond Katie Roman

We would like to thank Principal Theresa Axford, Assistant Principal Marla Russel, Eighth Grade Language Teacher Tracy McDonald, and all of the eighth grade students who participated in the 2008 LKCC Essay Contest.  We would also like to thank Jason O’Brien of First State Bank who provided the US Savings Bonds.  The Chamber wishes to extend our congratulations to these students and to all graduating eighth graders at Sugarloaf Middle School.

Mamajoe's Cycles and Stuff in Marathon (next door to the recently defunct Overseas bar and liquor) is going out of business on July 1st. They are retiring and the store is for sale.  "Spike" the dog and his mate not included. Thanks for the many years of motorcycle accessories and repairs.

A guy couldn’t figure out why his water bill was so high. When he figured it out he filmed it. Video

[Victory Garden] You can plant any type of vegetable in the pots that you get when you buy plants. It's easy and rewarding. Carrots, radish, peas, beans, etc. Potting soil., seeds and water (maybe a wire veil to keep out the critters) Poof! Your very own home grown vegetables fresh from your deck.

Birthday boy Bill is really cute.  He has pretty blue eyes and is single.

[Fogbow] What is that white arch over the water? What is being seen is a fogbow, a reflection of sunlight by water drops similar to a rainbow but without the colors. The fog itself is not confined to an arch -- the fog is mostly transparent but relatively uniform. The fogbow shape is created by those drops with the best angle to divert sunlight to the observer. The fogbow's relative lack of colors are caused by the relatively smaller water drops. The drops active above are so small that the quantum mechanical wavelength of light becomes important and smears out colors that would be created by larger rainbow water drops acting like small prisms reflecting sunlight. The above striking image of a fogbow was taken last week with the Sun behind the photographer. The rocks in the foreground are part of Ocean Beach in California, USA.

[Police Vehicles] Look, it's really this simple. If there is a patrol car parked in your neighborhood, then you like it. If there is not one in your neighborhood, you are going complain about it.

Here is a great optical illusion photo taken of a Lufthansa 747 and a United 757 that were on simultaneous approaches to runways 28L and 28R at San Francisco. The separation requirement for flying parallel and simultaneous approaches is about 750 feet. These two aircraft are at a safe distance for the approaches they are each flying. Due to the 747 being three times larger than the 757, and being slightly behind, it gives this incredible optical illusion.

[Oil] If you enjoy watching the new trend of oil prices per barrel dropping yet the cost at the pump increasing you will love John McCain. He will be George Bush part 3.No thanks.

Oops again!

For the classification fellow. It is indeed heartening to see a fellow with your scholarly inclinations, if I may add one small thing though? As to preparing for your future, I personally believe you would be farther ahead if you played the lottery.

If you ever wanted a clear picture of what Democrats have planned for this country just watch Maxine Waters of California threaten to nationalize the oil companies (even though she can't remember the word). I'll bet she stole that idea from Hugo Chavez. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d53lspwDeI&feature=related 

$200 million for the sewers. Great, that leaves another $200 million or so to be scraped up somewhere else.  Too bad the great conspiracy mentality, most people feel about government, has buried any thought of a 1% sales tax increase that would help pay for a lot of it. The people’s fear is "No way, they’ll steal it.”

Really Oops!

I've been away for two weeks.  I see several people have been charged 7% by a local Realtor and didn't get what they were promised.  What Realtor was it?  If you were one of the victims please write it on Sal's Site.  He will print the person's name and company name.  He holds nothing back.  Just like NBC or CBS, Sal tells all.

Redneck Calamari with macaroni and cheese and a side of canned green beans.

Got a great hair cut the other day. The cute little blonde gave me a neck massage, two shoulder massages and two thigh rub-downs all while cutting my hair. It was worth the $25, but it took me fifteen minutes to get out of the chair!

This photo provided by NASA/JPL-Caltech/University of Arizona shows NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander suspended from its parachute as it lands on Mars on Sunday May 25, 2008 as seen by a telescopic camera in orbit. We can take a picture of a space craft landing on another planet, but we can't find  Osama bin Laden!

[Change default font in Word] Use Help. It can answer any question except liberal thinking.

[Nuclear energy] Since most of us live in the 21st century, the age of unprecedented scientific advances, the time is opportune to invest in alternative energy sources. Chief among those technologies is the harnessing and use of the vast power of the atom. So the time is perfect for the licensing and building of more atomic power generation plants. Before you let loose some ridiculous doomsday, I live within 30 miles of one, and after 30 years of operation I still do not glow in the dark, and my kids are all normal, well…as normal as all other kids.

If you happen to be heading for Mozambique…

The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.

Friday May 30, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Thursday May 29, 2008

[Keys Wastewater Bonding Gets Governor’s Approval]  Governor Charlie Crist signed into law Senate Bill 1552 which authorizes $200 million in state funding to help complete wastewater management projects in the Florida Keys. The funding plan co-sponsored by State Representative Ron Saunders (D) Key West and Representative Stan Mayfield (R) Vero Beach and Senator Burt Saunders (R) Naples authorizes the issuance of state bonds not to exceed $50 million per fiscal year for no more than four fiscal years to provide state funding for Florida Keys wastewater projects. “I am thrilled to get authorization for $200 million in state funding for completion of wastewater projects in such a difficult budget year,” Representative Saunders stated. “This is a major step in helping to protect the unique natural resources of the Florida Keys.”

Yesterdays posting by a Hate America Firster is memorable in that the poster states his conviction that this great nation has been “ruined”.  The poster assigns blame to “you blind conservatives”.  The poster claims that this nation is “harboring” a terrorist.  He/she refuses to acknowledge that the target of his ire, Posada, (who is in fact a terrorist, but not “our terrorist”) has been repeatedly targeted by our Justice Department trying to deport him with so much zeal that at least one Judge has described Justices’ efforts as “fraud, deceit, and trickery”.  The poster would have you believe that trying to kick this creep out of the USA by fraud, deceit, and trickery is harboring him.  The Hate America Firster urges us to ignore fact, ignore Court transcripts, ignore history, and to believe him/her, because he/she has the amazing ability to “read between the lines”.  He/she says if we don’t “read between the lines” that we are “surely going to hell”.  The posters piss poor paraphrasing of Stephen Decatur 1816 famous patriotic toast,  “…my country right or wrong”, is not “stupid garbage” as the poster asserts.  In this context, it simply means that you love and respect your country just as you love and respect a family member who errs. You try to correct the error.  Our Country can and does err, sometimes grievously.  Our country did not err on this issue. “Stupidy” and lack of patriotism is definitive of the Hate America Firster.  Claiming that truth can only be found by “reading between the lines” is at best foolish and arrogant.  The Hate America Firster poster simply has a deep and abiding disdain for our Constitution, our nation and our way of life.  It must be difficult to live with that malignancy in one’s heart and soul. 

Why is that when people start whining and crying about professions with take-home cars, they always pick on cops?  Police is the one profession that benefits us when their cars are parked in our neighborhoods.  Why no complaining about Code Enforcement, Mosquito Control, the fire department, government leased cars, federal jobs, etc?  We all have to pay bills to Keys Energy and FKAA.  Why no complaints about those cars parked in driveways.  I believe that people have a much deeper agenda when they make such stupid complaints as police cars being taken home.

It looks like Kim Wigington's supporters don't believe she can win on her merits so they're taking to blogs to post "rumors" they make up against the Democrats running for the Commission. Take it for what it is. A blatant ruse to get Democrats and Independents to vote for Kim in the Primary by switching parties. Remember one thing that is irrefutable, the County has been run solely by Republicans for the past 8 years. Is the County better off than it was 8 years ago? Do you really want to keep one party rule, and continue "The Gang of Five"?

Maybe I'm selfish, but I really like having police vehicles parked in my neighborhood. Giving them the perk of driving a vehicle home just may be the difference of making a living or having to find a new line of work.

I remember several years ago a big argument about people making money and “flipping” properties. People were making money and the keys were humming. A particular person living in Port Pine Heights was bragging that his property was worth $750,000. (I’ve never seen anything in Port Pine Heights worth that.) The main idea was that he hoped that values would drop and the flippers would get burned. I wonder what his $750,000 house is worth now. He got his wish and what has he gained?

Don’t fall for the class envy ploy. If you’re happy with your situation, enjoy it and don’t worry about anyone else or what they’re getting. If they’re getting ahead – good for them, they help everyone indirectly. If the cops get to take their cars home, then they are at least keeping the peace while enroute. If you’re jealous about their free ride home, then be a cop. Grow up and be a little more keysey.

Happy Birthday to the two handsome guys who party at the Tiki Bar: Thursday is Mac's Birthday.  He works for Debonair and is often seen with his "beautiful bride" at the Ramrod Hot spot.  Friday is Bill's Birthday and it is a milestone, but you wouldn't know it from looking at him, since he looks twenty years younger than his actual age.  He wears starched white shirts and is the cleanest-cut, preppy guy, retired attorney at the Tiki.  A lot of us girls have crushes on him and he buys us drinks.  Happy Birthday you guys! 

I'm trying to contact Michelle Dravis for an event, and her contact info is incorrect in the Business Directory. Could anyone help me contact her? Please e-mail me at Melanierose632@hotmail.com

President Bush’s former press secretary Scott McClellan’s new book confirms all the dirt Americans have suspected about the Bush administration. Now, I expect the White House will launch a campaign to discredit their former spokesman. That's going to be pretty hard to do!

[Take cars home] It sure seems there’s a lot of discussion regarding the practice of allowing law enforcement and other city of Key West/Monroe County employees take public cars home.  County officials are given budgets from which to operate.  I expect elected and hired government employees to run an efficient and economical operation.  I'm not going to nickel and dime them on how they spend their budgets.  However, if I was their boss and I needed to make cuts someplace, I'd look to the departments with the biggest budgets.  I'll be more upset when a department is operating in excess of the budget.  Attention county commissioners:  you can't spend what you don't have.  I don't know if county or city of Key West police are operating within their budget.  Not only are fuel costs increasing (which is a variable expense) but maintenance and replacement are fixed costs that can be reduced by re-thinking business.  It's a privilege to be in law enforcement.  With that privilege comes the privilege of driving a car to and from the office.  Maybe this can be done smarter by allowing county/city officials the opportunity to ride the bus for free or provide a fixed, monthly transportation allowance.  Personally, I just want the sheriff and/or the chief of police to run a good law enforcement agency within assigned budgets.   If they can do this with the practice of allowing employees take home public cars, then I have no issue. 

When I open a Word document email attachment it appears in some exotic font that I have installed. How do I change the default font back to something I can easily read?

The reason most people don't succeed, is because the "follow through" will kill them. 

http://mybeautifulamerica.com/arizona.htm

May I ask why you are reluctant to mention McCoy and DiGennaro’s Sunshine Law infraction?  Our State Attorney, Mark Kohl, who is up for re-election this year, has done nothing with these two Commissioners before (concerning Sunshine Law violations). Do you think as long as he is in office, that there will be anything done to these government officials.  Remember that at the polls when you go to cast your vote. Think of Dennis Ward as our new State Attorney. Get to know him. You might like how he sees getting things done in Monroe County.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

[Puerto Rico becoming a state] First off  the only Caribbean island that has showed it's loyalty to the United States, has always been Puerto Rico. Puerto Ricans go as far back as the civil war, when it comes to shedding blood for this country. Puerto Ricans are usually the first at the front lines in all U.S. wars. Ask any war veteran, and he'll confirm that a Puerto Rican has fought side by side with him, and probably, saved each others life in one instance or another.

This is why the United States granted Puerto Rico the status of U.S. Commonwealth and made them American citizens. That's right to all you misinformed people out there. If you are born in Puerto Rico you are an American citizen. That's why it's Puerto Rico, USA. Every 4 years the U.S. Congress allows them the decision to vote as to continue being a commonwealth or the 51st state. 

My great, great grandfather fought as a union soldier in the civil war. My great grandfather fought along Teddy Roosevelt in the Spanish American war with the rough riders. Both my grandfathers were WWI veterans. My father was a medic in Europe in the D-Day invasion along with 2 of his brothers, and lost 2 other brothers to Japanese forces in the Pacific. In the Korean war 2 of my uncles were killed in action. My brother and 5 of my cousins fought in Vietnam, and they all came back safe and sound. I volunteered for the 1st Gulf War, but was denied for being over the age limit; and finally, my eldest son is an Operation Enduring Freedom vet serving 3 terms in the Persian Gulf.

I know I'm not the only one with such a great, proud heritage. There are plenty more Puerto Rican descendants with this type of history. So when it comes to the tiny Caribbean island of Puerto Rico, they've paid their dues. No other Latino nation or island has had this long record of fighting for this great country. In respect to all my fallen and surviving U.S. comrades and family I always proudly raise Old Glory for all American holidays.

When it comes to the valiant Puerto Ricans, what has been your significant contribution to the good ole USA, my friend? Drink beer, talk crap, whine and moan about everything?    

Have you ever had crabs this bad? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snm2y-whCUY&eurl=http://videos.komando.com/2008/05/28/christmas-island-invasion/

I voted in good faith in the Florida election that was later declared void because of some technicality.  What am I, chopped liver?  I'm a taxpaying

US citizen and I want my vote to count as much as anyone else's in all elections!

When a police officer has a take home car they take much better care of that vehicle.  These cars are run for only a single shift then go with that police officer and are taken home.  The officer is responsible for the vehicle and any damage that may occur to it.   The car itself generally lasts between three and five years as opposed to 12-16 months when it is in general patrol use by all officers.  When a car is used by all officers the issue is that it gets run sometimes 24-7 and will run up the miles in a little over a year.  Most insurance companies will not insure a police vehicle after 100k miles.  This is because of the stress that these cars can be put under.  These cars need to be pursuit rated and able to perform at a high level.  When an officer gets a car from the “pool” they generally don’t wash it, clean it and care for it.  It gets driven into the ground with the attitude of “it’s not my car”, these cars are constantly run and in need of service.

So if you want to save gas, take the cars away from the officers and put them in “pool” and let them take them out at the beginning of the shift and back in at the end.  But be prepared to buy several  Crown Victorias, Chargers, or  Impalas every year as replacements instead of every 3-5 years. 

When you figure the price of a police vehicle that is “pursuit rated” (it needs to be just in case they have to chase someone, if it is not and they chase and get hurt guess who will pay) don’t forget the cost of outfitting them.  That means stripping the old car and salvaging whatever is good, then putting it back in the new one.  Sometimes it can be done sometimes not.  The cost of a new car fully outfitted (decals, lights, computer, in-car-camera, cage for criminals, etc) is in the 40k range.   

The idea of a police officer taking home a car is the give the community some sense of security.  When the criminal element sees the police car they almost always walk the other way.  Driving to the store and other places is usually covered in a general order or standard operating procedure of the police department.  It is either allowed or not.   Just as when a business gives them a free cup of coffee.  Some business’ have it as a built in security measure, if there is a cop there then a criminal will think twice.  It is up to the business to decide the amount they want the officer to pay.  It is a small perk and only a perk if the coffee is even any good.

When you work for General Motors you get a discount on your car, why is that? Airline workers fly for free--why?

There’s a flight simulator in Google Earth. While using Google Earth, simply hold down Ctrl+Alt+A (or Command+Alt+A on a Mac). You get your choice of two airplanes.  Google Pack If you don't have Google Earth, this will take you to it, but I suggest you uncheck all the other boxes before downloading.

Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.

Shuttle Countdown Clock  STS-124/Discovery. Launch Date: May 31. Launch Time: 5:02 p.m. EDT. Watch the launch live!  See crew interviews and mission description in the time leading up to launch. NASA - NASA TV

Cell phone companies are charging $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 Information calls. Since no one carries a telephone directory in their Vehicle, they get away with it. When you need to use the 411 Information option, simply dial 1(800) FREE 411, or 1 (800) 373-3411; you will incur no charge. This works on your home telephone as well.

[Corona is more than beer] The Mexicans recycle it at least three times before shipping it to the U.S.

Why don't the local bars and restaurants serve Landshark beer?  It's mighty fine brew; tastes like no other.  Guess I have to go down to Margaritaville more often.  I always meet nice tourists at the bar.

[Secure the border]  Tuesdays posting concerning our illegal immigration problem was one of the very best pieces that I have ever read on this site.  The poster’s suggestions are rational, logical, and simply make great sense.  This poster has managed to outline a common sense approach that really could have great impact.  I’d be very much interested in learning where on the political spectrum the poster would place him/herself and how the readers would identify the poster’s political bent.  Is the poster liberal, is the poster conservative or is the poster somewhere in the middle?  A great posting, thanks and please keep thinking!

5 million Legos. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFGVzt7c5bY&eurl=http://videos.komando.com/2008/05/27/

We had another free V.I.P. oil change yesterday at Niles and waited only 15 minutes while enjoying a free cool beverage of our choice. I hope they treat us V.I.P. when we trade in our used car for a bigger evacuation / tow vehicle.  They have always treated us well when buying cars from Niles.  One time, the owner heard me ordering up yummy Bobalus pizzas and he bought us pizzas when they delivered the car to our door.  

They may have to make 2 trips for the bacon grease twins.

[Police vehicles] Let's get serious here. How stupid do you think we are? We see you cops using that taxpayer-bought, taxpayer-maintained and taxpayer-fueled cruiser to carry your kids to ball games, pick up items from Home Depot and go grocery shopping on your days off or during your off-duty time when you are out of uniform. Ever try getting a cop to show up at your house if you need one? If you have your car stolen or your house broken into you usually have to come in and file the report yourself.  The poster confessed that cops taking the cruisers home for private use is a "perk" negotiated by their union. That's some refreshing candor, but it doesn't make it right. The fact that cops aren't accountable for how they use that expensive public-owned vehicle makes it impossible to prove how much it "saves money" to have cops riding around on their days off in somebody else's car with somebody else paying for their gas. It's time to shed light on this "privileged class" of people in our country who consider themselves above the law and better than  working people who pay their way. It goes all the way up to the White House, and it stinks!

[Marine patrol] A picture is worth a thousand words.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Thursday May 29, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Wednesday May 28, 2008

Yesterday’s defensive post of Posada was correct in its details, but missed the larger point that we are harboring a terrorist because we agree with his mission. (Is that watered down enough for the poster to accept?) Just because “he is considered a hero to many Cuban patriots” doesn’t mean he’s not a terrorist. Osama Bin Laden is a hero to many Iraqi patriots, but he’s still a terrorist. 

Just because the average citizen is not privy to the inner machinations and secrecy of the CIA doesn’t mean this story is pure crap. If someone is so entrenched in their so-called patriotism that they can’t read between the lines we are surely going to hell. Calling an opposing view un-American is more of that stupid “My country right or wrong” garbage. It’s you blind conservatives that have ruined this once great nation. You probably think McSame is the greatest thing since Bush II.

[Take home cars expensive] I agree that those who want cops to leave their cars at the station are jealous.  There is no other rational reason for the negative comments.  At least, not from anyone who actually understands the way things work.  I can't speak for the Upper Keys and I can't speak for Key West.  But I do know how the Lower Keys regulate their patrol cars.  Most deputies are assigned to the zone in which they live.  Therefore, it would actually use more gas to take the car back to the station on Cudjoe Key instead of just parking in their driveways.  If any Lower Keys deputies live out of county, they are forbidden from taking the cars home.  Also, there are numerous deputies, detectives, SWAT members, dive members, crime scene officers, etc who are constantly on call.  They are required to respond, often urgently, to active calls.  This can only be accomplished by having the cars at home.  These officers can not be made to respond in their own vehicles.  That is a rule enforced by wage and hour, contracts, and unions.  This is only scratching the surface.  This is not a large city that has 100 officers on duty at any given time.  On some nights, there are only three deputies covering Stock Island to the 7-Mile bridge.  On-call deputies are a necessity.  It is saving money to have deputies on-call with patrol cars at home, rather than hiring more deputies.  

[Bacon Grease Lady] I'm trying to locate the cartoon with the fat lady's picture and the warning: Quit using bacon grease to cook with or you'll look like this!

[Appeasement Redux] Yesterday’s posting that questioned Rumsfeld’s meeting with Hussein and comparing Ahmadinejad to Limbaugh and Hannity is an absolutely sterling display of limp liberal logic.  Damn, it’s absolutely astounding how just plain dumb is some of the crap these people post.  It just makes them look ridiculous. 

Rummy, in the mid 80’s was a civilian envoy sent to meet with Hussein, the Head of State of the nation of Iraq which was then our ally.  The mission was to improve relations with Iraq and to confer with Hussein about our mutual enemy Iran.  Saddam's regime was then using much of Iraq's burgeoning oil revenue to improve the daily lives of its people.  Iraq even won UN humanitarian awards for its literacy programs.  Was it a good idea at the time, you betcha’ Red Rider!  Our deep thinking poster apparently does not realize the Ahmadinejad is the President of Iran.  The President of Iran is the highest elected official in the Islamic Republic of Iran, second only to the Supreme Leader of Iran.  He is responsible for "functions of the executive," such as signing treaties, agreements, etc. with other countries and international organizations; the national planning and budget and state employment affairs; appointing ministers, governors, and ambassadors subject to the approval of the parliament.

Limbaugh and Hannity are naught but talk show hosts, but I’m sure they know who and what Ahmadinejad is.  Unfortunately our foolish posting friend does not.  I’m reasonably sure that Ahmadinejad, other world leaders, and his followers are convinced that he is a man of power and respect.  I’m equally sure that if Obama were to meet with him that conviction would be enhanced as would his stature in his nation and around the world.  Obama has said that he would meet with Ahmadinejad; he has said nothing about meeting with the Mullahs.  We must conclude that Obama is convinced, correctly or incorrectly, that Ahmadinejad is the Big Mickey in that sand pile.  Obama is dangerously wrong in contemplating an unconditional Presidential meet with the President of Iran.  Damn, even Biden, Harold Ford, Gary Hart and scads of other Democrats think that an unconditional meet would be foolhardy. 

[World in protest] French fishermen have blocked ports in protest over the high price of gas. Truck drivers have blocked a major highway in England, Washington DC truckers protested at the monument and truckers in Spain are demonstrating also.

They dropped Diane Feinstein's enormous illegal agricultural workers Amnesty;
They dropped their dishonest scheme to "recapture" unused business visas that had, in reality, already been used;
Finally, at the end of last week, the "open-borders Senators" dropped a huge increase in uns