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Archives
of Old Kudos and Whiners
In order to save computer space we delete all pictures after six months.
December 2008
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New
Year's Eve 2008 |
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[Uncle Jay’s Year End Episode] This is really good.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3dbd7af54f/uncle-jays-yearend-episode-from-unclejay |
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[DirecTV Rip-off] There was an additional $5.99 charge on my
DirecTV bill this month. When I called to inquire about it I was
informed that I added insurance to my bill. I told them I didn’t add any
insurance as I’ve never called them since I had the service. They said
they were sorry and would remove the insurance for an additional $10
charge. |
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[What's
Not Good About A.A.] I just can't resist: This is a searching and
fearless moral inventory
of Alcoholics Anonymous. It doesn't work. We can do better than this.
This is the year 2008, and we can come up with a better answer to
alcoholism than "It's hopeless, so abandon yourself to God." Not only
does the A.A. 12-Step "treatment" not work, but it kills as many people
as it saves. That is a very strong damnation, but the numbers back it
up. There are always lots of A.A. defenders who will swear that A.A.
saved their lives, and lots of A.A. boosters who claim that A.A. is
keeping millions of alcoholics sober, but all objective, fair tests of
A.A. that have ever been done show
no better success rate than no treatment at all.
The
only possible mathematical explanation is that A.A. kills one patient
for each one that it saves, thus making the effective success rate
balance out at zero. And that is, in fact, actually believable, given
just how bad the so-called "treatment program" really is, and how high
the A.A. failure rate and the A.A. death rate really are. Read on.
Bill
Wilson actually bragged about that problem at the memorial service for
Dr. Bob. Bill described the early days of A.A. this way:
You
have no conception these days of how much failure we had. You had to
cull over hundreds of these drunks to get a handful to take the bait.
If
you have to cull hundreds of drunks to get a few success stories, then
that sounds like a one or two percent success rate. But wait! That is
only the gullible victims who "take the bait", as Bill Wilson called it,
just the ones who believe Bill Wilson's religious ravings and join
Alcoholics Anonymous. How many of those joiners actually stay sober
for any appreciable length of time, like several years? Even less, for
sure.
At
first nearly every alcoholic we approached began to slip, if indeed he
sobered up at all. Others would stay dry six months or maybe a year and
then take a skid. This was always a genuine catastrophe.
The old-timers in Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous brag
about all of their friends that they have buried. They talk like they
are the last survivor of the Lost Patrol -- which many of them really
are. They don't seem to be able to recognize the fact that if the
treatment program actually worked, then they wouldn't need to be burying
all of their friends. |
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My husband made pumpkin pancakes again this year on Christmas
morning. We got the recipe some time ago here on the Coconut Telegraph.
Thanks again to whomever originally posted it. Yum!
http://bigpinekey.com/Recipes/pumpkin_pancake_recipie.htm |
[Financial
Crisis]
This is what these logos will look like when the crisis is over.

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Quoting troop deaths as a way of protesting the Iraqi war is
fine. But to do so in order to bash the Republican Party is pretty
ignorant, considering about 3000 more troops died during Clinton's term
than during Bush's term. |
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[Notice: Classified Ads] Because of the crummy economy,
BigPineKey.com will now except commercial ads from those of you looking
for work or extra income and we will waive the usual $20 charge for
those types of commercial ads until further notice. |
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[Traffic]
On Monday night my co workers and I were returning to Big Pine from
Marathon and once we got to the Bahia Honda Bridge the traffic was
stopped. It took us 30 minutes to make the light in Big Pine. While we
were sitting I called the sheriffs office to see if there was an
accident as a sheriffs car had come up behind everyone with its lights
and sirens on and the dispatched told me “no the officer needed to check
in for work, that was why they did what they did.” Excuse me!
As residents of
the Keys we have been at the mercy of this traffic situation for over 20
years. My question is, why don’t they put an officer under the light
when they know this is happening? Don’t the residents of the Keys
deserve to get home in a timely manner to pick up their children from
sitters, or make appointments on time? What about the frustration level
of everyone? Doesn’t that make for dangerous driving situations once
people pass the light on BP trying to make up for lost time? What about
the issue that the officers drive patrol cars from Marathon to Cudjoe
Key to sign in? I think we need some answers here.
The dispatcher
also told me that the light was the Highway patrols responsibility. I
will be calling them to find out. I have been told in the past by the
sheriff’s dispatchers that the sheriffs don’t direct traffic nor are
they taught the art of it. Well go figure! Then why do they direct
traffic by the flea market and the seafood festival in Marathon, but do
not grant us the ability to take care of local business in a timely
manner when these events occur? Fantasy Fest, Bikers week, New Years.
I think the general public deserves some answers. The light in Big
Pine has always been the problem and it can not be fixed by any other
measure except for a cop under there directing traffic. What a sham. I
will be interested in hearing from the authorities that be. |
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Kudos to First State Bank on their new building at the stop
light. I think it looks great. I would also like to say Kudos to First
State Bank for hiring local businesses to do the work. The outside looks
beautiful and the inside is just as nice. The company who did the
cabinet and teller line work was right on. It looks great and to think
they are here locally, just makes it all the better. If there are any
more new banks going up or businesses, they should check with First
State Bank and find out who did their work. Lets keep it local, gang. I
also agree that it’s time some places clean up. A new paint job can go a
long way. |
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[Is Nothing Sacred] Once again I
was disqualified from the neighborhood's "Best Decorated House" contest
due to this humbug attitude! |
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Does
anyone know what is going on with Trudi (True Arts Bakery)? Is
she still on BPK? |
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Reset
your mouse for 2009. This is important. You
should actually do this every year. Even more often is recommended by
Kim Kommando (the computer guru) if you spend a lot of time on the
computer. I was shocked to see how well this works, and how far off mine
was! To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the g (on the right)
below, then drag the g toward the Y. If it doesn't work immediately,
you might want to clean your mouse, as the calibration is off. I'm sure
you will recommend this to all your friends once you see how much
smoother and better the mouse works after being calibrated.
You
dumbass, you’ll believe in
anything |
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[Yawn] This is boring history, but it's important.
Think about Jan ’05 Senate Bill S.190, The Federal Housing Enterprise
Regulatory Reform Act of 2005, Republican sponsored legislation,
designed to increase oversight of Fannie and Freddie. The Republicans
predicted that if the bill were not enacted, that Fannie and Freddie
would collapse leading to fiscal disaster. The bill was defeated in the
House and blocked in the Senate by efforts of Democrats and liberal
voting Republicans. In support of the Bill John McCain said “If
Congress does not act, American taxpayers will continue to be exposed to
the enormous risk that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac pose to the housing
market, the overall financial system, and the economy as a whole”.
That bill was but one of a host of attempts to reform F/F dating back to
the 90’s. In 2008 alone Bush raised the alarm at least 18 times. In each
instance reform was blocked by Democrat influence and lobbyist in the
pay of F/F. Senator Chris Dodd has received more money those lobbyist
than another legislator with then Senate rookie Obama a close second.
It’s true that some Republicans have blood on their hands in this
fiasco, but the lion’s share of blame falls squarely on Democrat
shoulders. Those who are really interested should take a look at:
http://www.highway278.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=51736 or do a
little of your own research. The facts are irrefutable. It’s history
now, but it’s of importance because we must consider the judgment and
ethics of the party currently in power. |
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Why can’t we all get along? Happy New Year! |
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[Executing
Border Violators]
You did go a little overboard my friend! It's not necessary take a life,
just break both their legs and take them to the nearest border post.
They won't be back for at least 8 weeks, for sure. |
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Contribute
to the George W. Bush Presidential Library!
The George
W. Bush presidential Library is now in the planning stages and accepting
donations.
The library
will include:
The Hurricane Katrina Room - which is still under construction.
The Alberto
Gonzales Room - where you won't be able to remember anything.
The Texas
Ari National Guard Room - where you don't even have to show up.
The Walter
Reed Hospital Room - where they don't let you in.
The
Guantanamo Bay Room - where they don't let you out.
The Weapons
of Mass Destruction Room - which no one has been able to find.
The
National Debt Room - which is huge and has no ceiling.
The Tax Cut
Room - with entrance only to the wealthy.
The Economy
Room - which is in the toilet.
The Iraq
War Room - (after you complete your first visit - they make you go back
for a second, third, fourth and sometimes
a fifth
visit).
The Dick
Cheney Room - in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shotgun
gallery.
The
Environmental Conservation Room - still empty.
The Supreme
Court Gift Shop - where you can buy an election.
The Airport
Men's Room - where you can meet some of your favorite Senators.
The Decider
Room - complete with dart board, magic 8 ball, Ouija Board, dice, coins
and straws.
The Library
will also feature an Electron Microscope Laboratory to help you locate
and view the President's accomplishments.
One of the Library's best features may be actual and now Famous Quotes
by George W. Bush, such as but not limited to:
"The vast
amount of our imports come from outside the country."
"If we don't
succeed, we run the risk of failure.”
"The future
will be better tomorrow."
"We are
ready for any un foreseen event that mat or may not appear."
"It isn't
pollution that's harming the environment, It's the impurities in our air
and water that are doing it."
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[Blame Clinton] Using the convoluted logic of the "Blame Clinton
for 9-11 poster" I guess it’s fair to say that any attack against the
United States by terrorists after Obama takes office means that since it
was planned during Bush’s term it’s his fault. My how short sighted can
one be? The new phrase of the republican party should be "Anyone but
us." How come the blamer didn’t lay the blame on Bush Sr. when the World
Trade Center was attacked the first time in Clintons first year of
office? Oh yeah, I forgot, anyone but us. |
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Men in Training
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[Red & Blue]
Ask a Liberal a question and they'll tell you what they feel. Ask a
Conservative and they'll tell you what they think. Try it. It's true. |
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Happy New Year!
I want to thank
everyone for a great 2008.
We will be
open New Years Eve until 2pm with a fresh load of vine ripe tomatoes,
fruits and vegetables.
We will be
closed New Years Day and Friday due to Chuck being in the hospital. I
will be back bright and early Saturday and Sunday morning. I wish the
best for 2009 to all the locals. Thank you so much
for all the love and support. ~Lisa |
[God
or Religion] Yesterday’s snail mail brought a survey sent to me by
the director of a political science department in a mid-west college.
The letter said my name had been randomly chosen out of a pool of names
of politically active people who were expressing their religious views.
The survey was several pages thick, and I doubt I could have fitted it
into the standard letter-size return envelop, if I had completed it.
After the first two pages, I gave up. Most of the multiple choice
answers I simply could not answer. Although I might be mistaken, it
seemed the questions were designed by the religious right. In all
events, it did not seem the questions were designed by someone or
someone's who had moved past religion (Christianity, it seemed pretty
obvious) into direct experience with God.
I wrote back by hand on the back of the cover letter my sentiments about
the difference between religion and God, which formed as the result of
my having experiences with the hand of God day and night for over two
decades. I said I feel Christianity is the anti-Christ because it claims
Jesus as its head but, in the main, does not live as he lived and told
other people to live. I said the people who started our country meant to
separate religion from state, but not God from state, evidenced by the
Declaration of Independence, which begins with a reference to God, and
makes several other references, none of which are in Christian terms. I
concluded by saying I see no help for America in surveys and religion,
and I feel it will take a massive intervention, perhaps much more
massive than the intervention Jesus represented, to help America. I
included my phone number and a goodmorningkeywest.com “business card,”
on the back of which I said the home page gives some indication of what
my runs for office and experiences with God have been like.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
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[Conch
Republic] Mr Anderson and all those who did not stand up publically
and protest mayor McPherson’s calling in Federal troops to raid the bong
shops on Duval St have no say in the Conch Republic. The whole idea was
to protest federal interference in our affairs yet they gave a pass to
that fat ex-doper. You all are only in it for the money. the true
spirit of the Conch Republic died with Capt Tony and Wilhelmina Harvey. |
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[Blaming Clinton for 9/11] George Bush was the blame for 9/11.
Wake up, it was on his watch and he was asleep at the wheel. |
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Beer ad from the 1930s. |
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Every time I've built character, I've regretted it. ~Calvin
and Hobbes |
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Bring in the new year at Rob's! We’ll have great drink
specials all night and free champagne for everyone at midnight, plus the
kitchen will be open until midnight. |
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[God]
Democrats want the word God excluded from everything. Man, now I
understand the phrase: liars and the liars that tell them. |
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Plant a garden of peace in the New Year. This one is of lettuce. |
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[Gravity Back Scratcher]
Video |
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[New Year's Prediction] Levi dumps Palin's daughter, saying baby
isn't his. |
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It's
important in life to reach out, to strive for greater achievements,
to go for that greener grass that is on the other side of the fence.
But one must also be careful, sometimes you can reach too far. But
when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation
that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always
remember. Your government is
there to help you! |
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[More Bull]
Redneck Bull Carrier |
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The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu |
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Wednesday
December 31, 2008 |
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Monday December
29, 2008 |
[Fish
Cams] The Bahia Honda underwater web cams are working. There are
two cameras, one facing northish and another facing southish in the
channel. They also have underwater lights on at certain times of the
day which really attract fish. I saw an abundance of fish this
morning and one large grouper. I think it’s because the lights were
on when I checked the site.
http://teens4oceans.org/webcam/ggrp/ |
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[Illegal
Aliens] The post the other day regarding the impact illegal
aliens have on social security and the fact they probably will
return even if they're deported wasn't intended to be an endorsement
for their presence here. Illegal immigration is a violation of
federal law and in many cases conflicts with state and local laws
with regards to employment. The post was intended to show that this
issue is complicated and can't be solved just by deporting them all
because of impacts not only on the economy but also relations
overseas. I hoped other posters can overcome what appears to be
hate and detest for illegal immigrants and discuss possible
solutions rationally.
Let's face it,
deportation doesn't work. First, let me make a couple of points to
correct a few things previously posted. First, illegal immigrant
have no rights. Therefore, they don't have the right to free legal
representation. Immigration lawyers get paid by their clients, not
the taxpayer. Second,
www.numbersusa.com is a good website that explains the cost of
illegal immigrants. Roy Beck, the owner has been active on this
issue for years. However, the site is one-sided and whether you
like it or not, illegal workers do provide a benefit.
Rather than
deportation, I do have several other proposals to end illegal
workers here. First, let's boycott all business who employ illegal
workers. If businesses hire undocumented workers, then let's pull
their license and seize their inventory. Second, insure all
renters can prove they belong here by showing a U.S. passport or an
alien registration card. On a national level, let's encourage our
elected officials to enter into expanded trade agreements like NAFTA
to ensure "those" people stay on their side of the border.
Companies who take jobs overseas should make provisions for
Americans to keep their jobs and pay for their move overseas.
Finally, let’s insure everyone who comes here on a tourist visa has
a return ticket in their possession when they enter. If they aren't
on the airplane on that date, then an arrest warrant should
be issued immediately. Lastly, anyone who applies for a marriage
license to a non-American should pay a fee of at least $2500. If
the non-American is shown to be on an overstayed visa, then they
should be immediately deported. |
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[Big
Box Chain Stores] Be very careful what you ask for. If you want
your surroundings to look just like Anywhere, USA, then perhaps you
should move to Georgia or Texas. Don't move here to get away from
where you came from and all it's problems, then try and make Big
Pine look just like where you came from! In fact, why don't you just
go home so you can enjoy your Applebees and Circuit City? |
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[Soul For
Sale] Here is the outcome for eBay’s Super Holiday Deal! One
Soul- Original Owner, Christmas One if a kind Gift (scroll down)
Super Holiday Deal! One Soul- Original Owner, - eBay (item
190274307312 end time Dec-22-08 03:30:14 PST) |
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[Crooks] The people who invested the $50,000,000,000 with
Bernie Madoff were told not to ask any questions about the
investments. They trusted Madoff to be a shrewed crook who had some
nefarious scheme to make them money. Those investors are as guilty
as Madoff because he played on their greed and with his great
reputation they figured he could make them money in an un-kosher
way. |
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I was in
Winn Dixie this beautiful, warm, and sunny morning (Sunday), and
I finished my shopping and was ready to check out. I like going to
the automatic checkout machines. I like to check out my own items
and bag them myself. But, to my surprise, all 6 ACMs were closed.
I have never had a problem like this in any other supermarket. I
thought the ACM's were suppose to be open all the time. Even when
it is super busy, there are always several of the ACM's down. I
don't care to shop at Winn Dixie, I only do because of proximity. I
actually work in Key West and prefer to shop at Publix and
Albertsons. I never have a problem with the ACMs in Albertsons,
they have great sales, and great people working there. Publix is
clean, has better prices than Winn Dixie, has very fresh produce,
and have so many people working that their service is quick and
painless. I do have one positive thing to say about Winn Dixie.
They do carry a good quality of meat. I do praise the meat
department for always putting out fresh meat and being helpful to
customers. With that said, open up your ACMs, Winn Dixie. |
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[School Board] There’s a proposal to send the entire Monroe
County School Board to a special class where they’ll be taught to
play nice with each other. They sure are a fiery board. Everyone
seems to hate each other. It’s a good thing they don’t allow guns in
school. |
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Islamorada’s
sewering is going to cost them another $1.5 million over budget.
I’ve never seen a big project come in on budget. That’s because
contractors make their money on change orders or things that they’ve
seen in the plans that they knew were in error that they knew they
could charge more for once they got the contract. There’s never been
a good contract supervisor in any municipal government. If they were
any good they’d be the private sector making bunches of money--not
in a cushy job with no accountability when they're wrong. |
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Today in 1845 Texas became a state. |
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[Financial
Meltdown] People wonder why we question the integrity of the
news? This video shows that George Bush tried to warn Congress in
2002 that this economic crisis was coming, if something was not
done. But congress refused to listen, along with Barney Franks.
This video says it all. The
liberal media did not want this video on You Tube, so they had Time
Warner threaten a law suit (proprietary rights) if it was not taken
off. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMnSp4qEXNM&NR=1 |
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[Least
Competent Criminals] Muoi Van Nguyen, 31, was arrested in
Spokane Valley, Wash., in November, charged with breaking a window
with a hammer at a state liquor store and grabbing a bottle of wine
valued at $9. Earlier, Van Nguyen had tried unsuccessfully to break
the window with a rock, but decided he needed a hammer to do the job
and went to a nearby store, where he purchased one for $11! |
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[Brunch for
Charity] Jamaican Me Hungry next to the Salvation Army building
on Flagler Av will host its first fundraiser this Sunday, January 4
from 8 am-3 pm for Habitat for Humanity of Key West & Lower Florida
Keys. Chef Warren Leamard is planning some spectacular items that
are sure to excite his hungry guests. Toast the New Year with
Mimosas or Bloody Marys then order your own special
omelet. There will be featured items throughout the day, but you
can also order off the regular menu. Habitat will receive 50% of
the day's sales. There is plenty of parking, and you can dine
indoors or outside on the patio. Bring your family and friends to
this tried and true restaurant at its new location. Bulletin Board |
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[9/11]
Since a republican was good enough to thank the democrats for the
deaths in Chicago last year I thought that in a spirit of good will
I would like to remind him of the deaths of over 4,000 American
troops for lies in Iraq given to us by the Good Ole Republican
Party. Let’s not even mention the bang up job you did to the
economy. God did help us. Your party’s over. Better get to spinning
quick. |
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[…inside of my nose itches so badly that I’ll
never use it again] How're you going to smell stuff? |
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[Illegal
Aliens] Kudos to the very first person who posted . The rest of
the posts are a prime example of the prejudice that lies beneath
their comments and is widespread in this country. If the truth be
told, most Americans are too lazy to work the jobs done by these
foreigners. Jobs that are vital to our survival. They want to get
paid a lot for doing little or nothing and take no pride in their
work. Time and time again I hear the comment "They can not even
speak English". How prejudiced, considering that most peoples
great grandparents came from another country when entrance
requirements were more lax. In those days nothing was thought of
exploiting the land and destroying the lives of American Indians.
Little has changed. In the depression era a program was put in
place to employ people and keep them from starving even though it
was menial labor and low pay. As Obama puts a similar program into
place, watch as crime rises and the holier than thou so-called
Americans do not want the jobs offered. |
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Sure to put a smile on the wife's face. |
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WD employ's about 100 locals and with the high rate of
unemployment here in the Keys many more are applying for positions.
Now it seems it's the place to work. |

[Leaving for Muddy Waters] After almost 15 consecutive years
of a snowbird life we will not be able to migrate to your habitat
due to the overpricing of your seed, drink and nesting. You local
birds should be very happy about that. Less poop to deal with. You
have ruined paradise. The vultures have taken over. Our flight
ended at Ormond Beach. Three mixed drinks and a longneck only cost
$8. 15 chicken wings $5. Green grass. Life is good. Goodbye |
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[Gaza Slums]
If you tried to keep a nice house in Gaza the other ones there would
call you a traitor and kill you. The mess they live in is all part
of their ongoing political campaign to gain the World's sympathy in
their fight against Israel. |
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[Bagel
Island] Just a reminder for those of you new to the area or are
just here visiting. Bagel island has Gluten free bagels for those
Celiac's out there. We also have home made gluten-free Black Bean
soup. We’re looking forward to seeing all our old friends back and
meeting the new ones. |
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CIA Buys Afghan Chief's Loyalty with Viagra.
Make Love, not War.
CIA Buys Afghan Chief's Loyalty with Viagra | CommonDreams.org
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[UFO]
Maybe people would come to Key West to meet the extraterrestrial,
who, instead of being fetched up and rescued by the mother ship, as
he has long hoped would happen, somehow ended up an elected official
in the weirdest of all human cities. Maybe even the people who go to
Roswell, New Mexico, and attend MUFON meetings would come to the
real UFO headquarters
on this planet: Key West.
You can see I’m
in a really good mood today. When I awoke at 2:30 a.m., trying to
come to terms with this pig crap, several drunks were in the parking
lot of the Key West City Hall, talking loud, arguing, laughing at
their own jokes, making asses of themselves. If they were homeless
people, the Key West police would be all over them. But they are not
homeless people. They are either tourists or Key West residents.
They are Key West,
whether I like them carrying on outside my apartment at 2:30 a.m.,
or not. The more of them we draw to Key West, the more revenues the
city’s businesses, thus the city, will have.
I’m not joking.
Early this year, or maybe it was the year before, our own part-time
resident pollster Lou Harris did a survey of Key West visitors. The
number-one reason they gave for coming here is the night life.
That’s right. Not the architecture, not the art galleries, not the
museums, not the fishing or diving, not the water sports and tours,
not the artificial beaches, but the night life.
The night life
isn’t why I’m in Key West. I can’t drink or use any human drugs,
except ibuprofen when I hurt real bad because I feel poisoned, like
I felt at 2:30 a.m. I don’t go bar hopping, because I don’t like
being around humans who are drinking and smoking cigarettes and
making a lot of noise. I don’t go dancing, because I don’t have
anybody to go dancing with. Our city’s night life means very little
to me, but it’s the most important reason humans come here, and we
need to use it to our advantage.
Meaning, we
need to promote the night life in our advertising.
A great way to
begin any Friday night crawl, unless you are homeless and have no
money, is to show up at 6 p.m. at Aqua in the 800 block of Duval
Street, and hear the nightingale belt out her beautiful notes.
Likely as not, you will see her daddy there, Marathon district’s
colorful county commissioner, puffing away on a big Cuban cigar.
Vanessa Di Gennaro’s singing is well worth being in a smoke-filled
bar with humans cutting three sheets into the wind.
Mario told me
this past Friday night at Aqua just how much he loves Key West, what
a great city it is. He said he has been wondering when he might
appear in my blog again. Now he doesn’t have to wonder.
From the city of “One Human Family,” unless, perhaps, you live on
the street.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
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Tom Thumb’s
gas went up 11 cents to $1.859 for regular on Sunday afternoon.
What are they doing? |

"Super Holiday Deal! One Soul-Original Owner" was sold to the
highest of 6 bidders. It only went for $5.50 and was designated
that the winning bidder had to pick it up. How very cheeky. I hope
that islandgirl0999's maker understands this little jokey. Not to
be an alarmist but arousing the interest of the dark side with
antics of blasphemy at this holiest of holidays is an invitation she
may regret sending. Blessed Be! |
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[Illegal
Aliens] Kudos to the very first person who posted . The rest of
the posts are a prime example of the prejudice that lies beneath
their comments and is widespread in this country. If the truth be
told, most Americans are too lazy to work the jobs done by these
foreigners. Jobs that are vital to our survival. They want to get
paid a lot for doing little or nothing and take no pride in their
work. TIme and time again I hear the comment "They can not even
speak English". How prejudiced, considering that most peoples
great grandparents came from another country when entrance
requirements were more lax. In those days nothing was thought of
exploiting the land and destroying the lives of American Indians.
Little has changed. In the depression era a program was put in
place to employ people and keep them from starving even though it
was menial labor and low pay. As Obama puts a similar program into
place, watch as crime rises and the holier than thou so-called
Americans do not want the jobs offered. |
|

Happy Birthday Kevin! (Ed: Betty J. sent 7 emails to make
sure you got the message.) |
|
[Human Pretzel]
This guy doesn’t need much room. I’ll bet his apartment is real
small too. There was a guy in KW doing this same act. It it the same
guy? Video |
|

[Brian Roberts playing at Parrotdise] Has it now become okay
to post commercial ads in the Telegraph? (Ed: Yes, we’ve always
done it for our advertisers. That’s how we keep this thing going.
Money talks and we listen to our advertisers. Parrotdise Waterfront
has been supporting us for a long time and we enjoy promote their
entertainment and specials.) |
|
Celebrity
deaths of 2008. Life is Moments.
Photo Gallery: Celebrity deaths of 2008 |
|

This is not magic, he really cuts a guy in half for this show—I
think! Video |
|
[Illegal Aliens] You try pulling the same crap they do in
this country in their home countries and see where that gets you.
Their Gov'ts won't deport you, you will languish under deplorable
conditions in prison. The jail food here would be considered gourmet
fare there. Our corrupt politicians (both parties) are selling this
country down the river for their own personal gain. They are the
ones who should be put up against the wall. I'd even buy the ammo
and enjoy pulling the trigger. They are traitors who deserve no
respect. |
|
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Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
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Menu |
|
Monday December
29, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Sunday
December 28, 2008 |
|
[Illegal
Aliens] Yesterdays kind hearted posters comments about illegal aliens
painted a picture of a nation that is victimizing unfortunate, downtrodden
immigrant souls. The poster says the plight of the illegals is your fault.
That’s like blaming a homeowner for the crime of the burglar. You and I do
not owe the illegal’s anything, not a job, not a living, nothing. If
they pay into the Social Security system, it is scant recompense for
what they cost in free medical care, free schooling, crime, urban decay,
jobs lost to American citizens, and the free immigration lawyers costs of
our Criminal Justice system that shields them from obeying our laws.
The notion that SS will suffer absent their contribution is
patent nonsense. SS is already threatened and is in dire need of reform. The
illegals are fully aware that the SS cards that they illegally purchase are
nothing more than a ticket to the show, akin to paying union dues; no card,
means no job. The poster admits that the vast majority of these illegals
have so little respect for our nation and our laws that they return
knowingly in violation of our laws. They have so little fear of the
consequences that they sneer at us. We currently have adequate laws and
procedures that have been designed to protect Americans and American
business from the havoc that the illegals bring with them. Those laws lack
only rigorous enforcement. There is substantial evidence of the value in
enforcement evident in our west where illegal immigration is on the decline.
Changing those laws and procedures to accommodate the comfort of the
illegals would be insanity. Our nation is enriched by the hosts of legal
immigrants who respect themselves and our laws. |
|
[Found Wallet] Major kudos to the folks that called
about a found wallet. You returned money and credit cards to the owner.
Thank you for taking the time to call the number on a card you found inside.
Bless you. |
|
[Judge
Race. Can you believe they’re still arguing over who won] Yes, and good
for it. And if it was you that had seen the votes recounted many times
without ever getting the same answer twice, and absentees ballots get
accepted, then rejected, then re-accepted, and heard 3 different election
officials each give different answers to the exact same question - then you
would be doing the exact same thing.
Regardless of which election, all election results must be 100% verifiable
to and for all candidates. That is the foundation requirement. Trying to
rush the resolution, or circumvent the verification process is suspicious.
Determining the winner is what it is, takes what it takes. Candidates'
supporters won't change or influence the outcome with their post election
complaints. |
|
[Appealing
the Sonny McCoy vs Celeste Bruno case. Let it go] Tell it to the
county's insurance company. They are the ones forcing this because they are
the ones who don't want to pay the award. And they don't care how much it
costs their insured. It's a clause in all liability insurance policies. The
insurance company has the right to appeal, and appeal, and appeal. They have
actuarial charts showing how much they (insurance company) can spend to
avoid paying the claim. Once that dollar figure is reached, they settle.
Their assumption is that the odds are in their favor. |
|
[Stirring
The Pot] We seem to be short of things to bitch about, so let’s try
bitching about the lack of decent big box chain stores on BPK. It’s just
plain wrong that the greedy short-sighted local yokels who control this
little flea speck have only permitted three chain stores on BPK. There’s
Winn Dixie that always has the very best in fresh wholesome food and service
by a caring and ever courteous staff. There’s CVS, always eager to serve and
staffed by an extremely knowledgeable professional and friendly group of MIT
grads. And of course there’s the relative new comer, Radio Shack (I’m a
little suspect of Radio Shack, I think that it might actually be a local
owner and staff). Of those three, I think it’s only WD that saves us all
from having to live cheek by jowl with their staff, because it looks like a
goodly number of them are bused in. Thank goodness, after all, no decent
person would want to live near too, or have to associate with the working
class. I have heard a rumor that some of "them"
actually live here! Nonetheless, we desperately need more big box chain
stores and shuttles to the main land to supply the minimum wage earners.
Save yourselves from the terrors of local enterprise, don’t support those
greedy bloodsucking locals who want to take your money, shop big box or the
net so that we can have more of Dade County life here on our backwater
paradise. |
|
[Lou Gehrig's Disease] If you are a veteran you
have twice the probability of getting Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS). The
Veteran's Administration has acknowledged it and that they'll be dead within
2-5 years. |
|
[Death
Threat] What was the story of the Key West police chief who received a
death threat and quit his new job and left the Keys? It was only a few years
ago that this happened. Is there really a Conch Mafia? I still believe that
they killed the fire chief Bum Farto in the 70s. |
|
Obama ran his entire campaign saying he would govern from the middle. I
don’t know of a single democrat that’s surprised at all. If you think
Democrats have buyers remorse you haven't been paying attention. We’re damn
glad the Bush/Conservatives got their hats handed to them. I’m with Joe the
Plumber, I agree "McCain is appalling" to borrow Joes own words. Democrats
with buyers remorse? You're dreaming. |
|

Israel is bombing Gaza City again. They blasted Hamas headquarters and
killed about two hundred bad guys and innocents. What a mess over there.
They also wounded over four hundred people. This took place after the 6
month cease fire expired and Hamas lobbed about three hundred missiles into
Israel. I don’t know why they keep trying to piss off the Israelis, it’s
never done any good in the past. They must know by now that the Israelis
have a temper and cool war stuff.
Someone was there and said that the Palestinian houses are derelict and
absolutely filthy; the people live in filth. He also said that the same poor
people’s houses of the Israelis are spotless and neat and the people are
very proud. The Palestinians spend all their time hating. It’s a country
pastime. |
|
Most
Mom and Pop businesses need a "season", so far this one is not
happening. Our little business has been here a long time and we are off our
usual revenues. I can tell this will be a very tough year if the snowbirds
don’t show up soon. I also know that some of us find them a pain in the
bottom, but it’s very clean money and most everyone gets a little bump. For
the small Mom and Pop operation it’s not only counted on, but necessary for
the rest of the year to survive. I do hope the new year is one that most of
us can live with. It hurts when you see someone go down the tubes. With that
being said, Happy New Year to all! |
|

[Damn Sunpass Lanes] He tried to switch lanes at the last second. |
|
[Jail
Food] Be thankful you get fed. You put yourselves there so deal with it.
If you don't want to eat jail food stay the hell out of jail. Jail is not a
country club but a place they put people that break the law. It’s supposed
to be a bad place. I know for a fact in jail they feed you nutritional food.
It might taste like crap, but it’s of nutritional value. No sympathy here,
that's for sure. I am a mother of two that I support on my own and, yes, I
have a job. We eat what we call jail food as well. I'm lucky if I can give
my kids milk everyday. Most people would love to eat 3 times a day and a
place to sleep. Get your crap together and stay out of jail and you to can
eat what you want. People in jail get no sympathy in my house. You did the
crime now you have to pay the time. Get over it. |
|
[Leukemia
& Lymphoma Fundraiser] Teaming up to save lives one putt at a time. Key
West’s Team In Training (TNT) is raising funds for the South Florida
Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to support blood cancer research Join us in
putting for the cure. Saturday January 3, 2009 11:00 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.
Boondocks Grill and Draft House Ramrod Key. Mini-Golf Tournament. Live
Music. Silent Auction. Raffle Prizes. 50/50 Cash Raffle. Tickets are $10.
Includes one round of mini-golf (good thru April 2009), discount on
Boondocks Grill menu items, and special drawing for a fabulous prize! For
tickets, call Anne 872-3390. All proceeds benefit the South Florida Leukemia
& Lymphoma Society. For more information, visit us on-line at
www.teamintraining.org/sfl |
|
Israeli ground forces are entering Gaza today. Oh
oh! |
|

I got one of those nose hair trimmers for Christmas. You know those
things that look like a fountain pen with a Remington on one end. It works
real good, but now the inside of my nose itches so badly that I’ll never use
it again. |
|
[Artificial
Reef] Instead of paying millions of dollars for a retired battle ship to
use as an artificial reef, we should have used the Boot Key Bridge. Didn't
anyone ever think of that? No, for a bunch of reasons. Why fix a bridge
just for a few locals? And remember who's behind Mario's Folly--politicians,
and money pursuers. Face it, this is about money. There's no long term
financial anything attached to fixing a bridge. |
|

[Decorations] We didn’t celebrate Christmas this year which was
awful, but looking on the bright side, we don’t have any decorations to take
down and put away. |
|
[Illegal
Aliens]
They are
criminals who do not respect the border or the laws of the country. I quote
Stormin' Norma Swartzkopf on your sentiments for illegals "Bovine
Scatology". The illegals cost the American taxpayer billions every year.
They are keeping Social Security afloat? The hell you say. Are you trying to
make a joke? They are illegals, using fake documents, and you think they
should be rewarded for this? You must be nuts. You should put an armored
infantry division on the border, locked, and loaded. It is absolutely absurd
that a great power like the USA is unable to secure it's southern border. |

With age comes wisdom. |
|
[Illegal
Aliens. 1 - They are paying into the social security system without the
possibility of ever receiving benefits. Many of these workers also pay
federal taxes using the same fake social security numbers.
2
- They do this not only so they can work but also many truly believe that if
they pay taxes over the years, one day the government will give them amnesty
and they'll be able to become Americans.]
1 -
Their choice. And they are smart enough to know how to get fake SS numbers,
so they know their employment realities. And they do get benefits - every
time they walk into a hospital and say they can't pay. And every time
they get car loans and mortgages and then don't pay their obligations. And
when they don't pay, we get stuck absorbing the companies losses.
2 -
That is an old misconception used years ago to make illegals appear
sympathetic. They do not truly believe that,
and have not for years. It is no longer a viable argument, and is only used
now by illegals trying to "work the system", with which they are very
familiar, thanks to those who aid the illegals.
Actually, it's the lawyers who are perpetuating the illegal system. The
lawyers see all the illegals as potential clients - think of it -
enough clients to keep lawyers employed for generations.
Sorry you can't understand. Have you looked in your wallet lately? Have you
looked at
www.numbersusa.com lately? Have you done anything to find out how much
money illegals cost US citizens? If we got rid of illegals, we could get
rid of a lot of court cases and jail expenses (another source of lawyer
clients). |
|
[Soul
For Sale] Does anyone know what became of the woman selling her soul on
eBay? I was out of town for a while, and missed seeing the final bid.
Seems like a lot to do for your fifteen minutes of fame? |
|
[Winn Dixie] Have you noticed that W/D changes the
ethnicity of their employees periodically? |
|
Timothy
McVeigh, Oklahoma's very own terrorist bomber was caught escaping from
his dastardly deed because he was driving a car with no license plates.
That’s should be a capital DUH! |
|
[Illegals are
paying into the social security system without the possibility of ever
receiving benefits]
Hey man, that's exactly what I've been doing for 37 years and I was born
here! |
|

Found dog in Big Pine in the Eden Pines area. White female Bull
Terrier, Tattoo ID: GA 7471-8, Looking for the owner, Please call Nicole
305-218-0441 |
|
[How Much Chuck Could A Chuck Chuck Wood] The
Marines in Iraq are teaching the locals everything from running police
stations to governing democratically. Literally, they are teaching them
everything! A short video from my nephew deployed somewhere near Fallujah.
http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c128/shotcalla104/?action=view¤t=MOV01486.flv |
|
n
2003 I lived in a homeless shelter and was running for mayor of Key West the
first time. I was put up to it by Father Stephen Braddock, who headed up
Florida Keys Outreach Coalition, and Bill Verge, who then was on the Key
West Planning Commission and now is a Key West City Commissioner. For all I
know I was the first and may still be the only homeless person to run for
mayor of an American city. Or of any city.
An odd thing about being homeless, which I had to live
on the street to learn, not in a homeless shelter but on the street, is that
if you really want to find out what a place is like, then living on the
street is the best way to do it. I suppose it’s like the old days, when
servants lived in the lower levels of the manor house, and everything that
happened above them filtered down. They knew everything that was going on in
the manor house, even as the lords and ladies knew only a little of it, or
none of it, depending on how much they really wanted to know.
I was put up to run for mayor of Key West again in
2007, by angels who really don’t give a shit how I feel about much of
anything. I was not homeless that time, and I ran a very different campaign.
A good campaign, I thought, but I only received 64 votes in the
six-candidate primary. I think I received 34 votes the first time I ran, so
I could look at the second run as a major success.
Actually, I viewed the second attempt as a catastrophe,
because I felt the first time that Jimmy Weekly should be our mayor, and I
was more than happy to heed what I was told in my sleep the day after I
qualified to run: “If you know what’s good for you, you will do everything
thing you can to try to get Jimmy Weekly reelected.” But the second time I
ran for mayor, I truly felt I was the only candidate suited for the office.
You learn a lot about candidates at candidate forums,
if you pay attention. And you learn a lot about a place when you run for
public office, if you pay attention. Not only have I run for mayor of Key
West twice, I also ran for the county commission in 2006 and earlier this
year. Before all of that occurred, I knew I did not like politics, but I
didn’t really know why. After four races, I know why.
I will never forget reading in the Citizen’s Voice
section of Key West Citizen last summer, an angry lament and
accusation toward Key West for not offering a viable candidate in the last
mayoral race. I shook my head, said to the writer in my thoughts, “You had a
viable candidate and he was ignored.”
I was the only candidate with a vision for Key West to
move forward, attract more visitors, and generate more revenues. I was the
only candidate concerned about the environment and making peace with Mother
Nature. I was the only candidate with no financial stake in Key West. I was
the only candidate who owed no money or favors and had no political
alliances. I was the only candidate who refused campaign contributions, had
no campaign workers, used no signs, posters or car stickers, or media
advertising.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
|
|
[Snowbirds]
Everything I said yesterday about the snowbirds not showing up--not to
worry. They are here! It took me 48 minutes to get from Spanish Harbor to
the stop light on Big Pine Key. Now let’s making some money. |
|
[Chicago. Who Runs It] Senators: Barack Obama &
Dick Durbin Representative: Jesse Jackson, Jr. Illinois Governor: Rod
Blagojevich (arrested last week) Illinois House leader: Mike Madigan
Illinois Attorney General: Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike) Chicago Mayor:
Richard M. Daley (son of Mayor Richard J. Daley) The leadership in
Illinois?... all Democrats. Thank you for the combat zone in Chicago. Body
count in the last six months: 292 killed (murdered) in Chicago 221 killed
in Iraq State pension fund - $44 Billion in debt, worst in the country.
Cook County (Chicago) sales tax - 10.25% highest in country. Chicago
school system - rated one of the worst in the country.
Of course, they're all blaming each other. They can't
blame Republicans though, because there aren't any. This is the political
culture that Obama comes from in Illinois. And he's going to fix Washington
politics for us? Good luck and may God help us. |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
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delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Sunday
December 28, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Saturday
December 27, 2008 |
|
[Illegal
Aliens] I can't understand the frustrations of the poster yesterday
saying we should pay a bounty for each illegal alien. Having been
associated closely with a Miami-based immigration lawyer for the past couple
of years, perhaps your opinion would change if you saw first hand what is
really happening with illegal (undocumented) workers in this economy. First
of all, many undocumented workers are working in jobs with false social
security cards. They are paying into the social security system without the
possibility of ever receiving benefits. Many of these workers also pay
federal taxes using the same fake social security numbers. They do this not
only so they can work but also many truly believe that if they pay taxes
over the years, one day the government will give them amnesty and they'll be
able to become Americans. It doesn't work that way.
As
far as deportations go, many will get an immigration lawyer (like my friend)
and can conceivably avoid deportation. Either way, they're guests of the
American taxpayer while they are in detention. If they are deported, that's
paid by the American taxpayer. And guess what? Over 80% of the illegal
aliens that are deported come back into the United States illegally. So
yesterday's poster is proposing we spend more money on a problem that's not
going to go away through deportation. If you round them all up and ship
them home, it's very likely the social security system will collapse. Many
financial experts opine that it should've collapsed years ago but it was
kept afloat by undocumented workers.
Probably the best way the situation is handled is to ensure we have a viable
visa program where we can account for non-Americans within our borders.
Given current economic conditions, it's possible the undocumented worker
problem will take care of itself as unemployment grows and these workers
will be replaced by unemployed Americans who will be willing to work for the
same wages. After all, that's why there are undocumented workers--they're
willing to work for wages other Americans won't! |
|
[Kids
Drinking] 50% of teenagers in Key West say they have consumed alcohol in
the last month. That number seems low. Now we have flashlights that detect
alcohol. Years back the Grand Jury made a recommendation that the Division
of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco open an office in Key West. An office was
opened and was staffed by 1 supervisor and 1 agent. The office soon moved
to the Professional Plaza on 12th Street, Key West. The staff
increased to 1 supervisor, 4 field agents and 1 licensing person. The office
closed last year and now there is only 1 field agent that works out of his
house. The Division used to send numerous agents down to work spring break,
fantasy fest and other special events. Spring break court was set up to
handle the large number of arrests that were made for underage drinking and
fake ID’s. This year for Fantasy Fest they sent zero agents. There doesn’t
seem to be any preventative enforcement of underage drinking now that the
Division closed its office in Key West. |
|
I heard
that the bird rescuers had to kill the badly damaged birds and
everything is okay with them and the feds now. I hope so. |
|
[Tuell
and Kahn And Their Newspapers Nazi Puppets] On Christmas Day, a friend,
who had just been released from the Stock Island jail for the second time
this year, told me the jail food is indeed awful. I said I needed to hear
that from someone I personally knew, who knew first-hand, to back up what I
was hearing from Lorri Szostak, M.D., who has a friend in the jail.
Two or maybe three times, when interviewed by the Editorial Board of Key
West Citizen about my running for office, I told them the free press and
plaintiff lawyers are all that stand in the way of America becoming a
totalitarian state.
When I learned early this year that Tom Tuell, Editor
of the Citizen, and Larry Kahn, Editor of the Keynoter, were in bed with
Sheriff Rick Roth and Sheriff-Elect Bob Peryam, and when I saw they wrote
nothing but praise reports for Roth and Peryam and the sheriff office, I
started to think Tuell and Kahn were like the German journalists who
promoted Adolph Hitler’s ascent in Germany.
After Lorri Szostak and I attempted in vain to get the
mainstream press interested in this deplorable situation in the jail
kitchen, I became convinced that Tuell and Kahn, and their newspapers, are
Nazi puppets.
Sheriff Roth and his jail Commandant, Major Tommy
Taylor, and the Stock Island jail manager, Penny Phelps, are fully aware of
the Consent Decree of the McIntyre United States District Court
case, which came out of Roth being sued for running the worst jail in
Florida, according to the plaintiff lawyer, Randy Berg, who specializes in
representing jail inmates.
The food service section of the McIntyre Consent Decree is
reproduced on my website; it sets out in fine detail how the jail food is to
be selected, prepared, served and tested.
Roth, Taylor and Phelps knew all along that the jail kitchen and food were
not in compliance with the food services section of the McIntyre
Consent Decree. They never intended to comply. Roth, Taylor and Phelps are in contempt of the United States
District Court and should locked up in the very jail they are supposed to
run properly, and made to eat the same awful food they have been feeding to
the inmates, for as long as the McIntyre Consent Decree has been in
effect. Roth,
Taylor and Phelps’ employment, and employment and retirement benefits,
should be terminated by the United States District Court and used for the
inmates’ benefit.
Roth, Taylor and Phelps should prosecuted under the criminal provisions of
the United States Civil Rights laws, for willingly and knowingly torturing
inmates in violation of the Eight Amendment ban against cruel and unusual
punishment.
Inasmuch as Roth, Taylor and Phelps never had any intention of complying
with the food service section of the McIntyre Consent Decree, the
United States District Court needs to take over the jail kitchen and appoint
a Custodian to run it at Monroe County’s expense, indefinitely. There is no
other way to insure the jail kitchen will be run properly.
This is the kind of case I would bring in the United States District Court,
if I were Randy Berg, who is still the inmates’ lawyer of record in the
McIntyre case. I would ask for nothing for myself, because God work
cannot be done correctly, if I am looking to get anything back; and because
I did not stay on top of the jail kitchen and food situation after the
Consent Decree was entered.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel |
|
[That’s
a Lot of Drugs for Peace] I am not a drug addict. I do not take all
these pills every day. I just saw the Prozac Nation mini-challenge and
thought it would be cool to make a peace symbol out of all the bottles,
etc., I could find in the house. That being said, I do have to take
medication for "stability." I have severe anxiety/panic attacks and
depression. For the past six months, I have been going to a doctor to find
something/some combination that would work for me. Some pills gave me
insomnia, others gave me acid reflux so bad that all I could really eat were
grapes and animal crackers. I had panic attacks what seemed like for hours,
and I was popping anti-anxiety medication at that point to knock me out.
I eventually went back to what I had been originally taking because I knew
my body and nothing else was working for me. I still have my ups and downs,
but I haven't had to take any anti-anxiety medication in over a month. And
that in itself is a blessing. So, yeah, I don't like taking meds, but I will
to have some peace. |
|
[Sewer
Fees] Stock Island might be getting some sewer relief from their $50 a
month sewer bill. They’re considering billing them on their fresh water use.
If they use a lot of water on their gardens or washing their things, they’ll
pay more accordingly. Although it will benefit most users I think there
should be some option for a user to pay for installation of some sort of
shit meter that will measure the actual amount of waste going into the
sewer. Big users like my family will be paying twice for our water. We have
a very large tropical garden. What will be the provisions for real large
water users like ball fields, parks and golf courses? |
|
[School
Safety Person] The Citizen reported recently that the school
superintendent paid an extra $9,000 to the School Safety person because she
worked twelve months this year and was only on an eleven month contract. It
was apparently some kind of special project with FEMA. Now I believe that
people should be paid for the work that they do. The questions I would ask,
though, are:
1. Did she work the entire month (4 1/3 full weeks)?
2. Did she work a minimum of five 8-hour days during each of those weeks?
If the answer to either of those questions is "no", it's just another
example of his steering monies to a crony.
If Sunny Booker, the Safety Coordinator for the school district makes
$9,000/month, that's $108,000 per year. Not a bad gig for a job that's
part-time for every other district of our size in Florida. |
Great Orators of the Democrats Party:
'It depends what your definition of 'IS' is.'' - Bill Clinton
'That Obama - I would like to cut his NUTS off.' - Jesse Jackson
'Those rumors are false .... I believe in the sanctity of marriage.' - John
Edwards
'I invented the Internet.' ?- Al Gore
'The next person that tells me I'm not religious, I'm going to shove my
rosary beads up their a**.' - Joe Biden
' America is--is no longer, uh, what it--it, uh, could be, uh what it was
once was...uh, and I say to myself, 'uh, I don't want that future, uh, uh
for my children.' - Barack Obama
'I have campaigned in all 57 states.' - Barack Obama
'You don't need God anymore, you have us Democrats.' - Nancy Pelosi (said
back in 2006)
'Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful,
true , and honest than he.' - Hillary Clinton (said back in 1998) |
|
 |
|
[How
'Bout A Date] I want to applaud the single Mom who not only thought
enough to look on here for Christmas gifts but then was polite enough to
post on here thinking everyone. Humble yet thankful and put your kids
first. That is a true class act. Why is someone as good as you single?
More so, why didn't I meet a single woman who is a class act like you?
Since you like the classified ads I'm going to put one in the personals. I
hope you answer.
Classified Ads > Personals |
|

Thanks for the beautifully decorated December 25 Telegraph. Hope you had a
very Merry Christmas. Best wishes for a fun and prosperous 2009. |
|
Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink
and be Mary. |
|
[Shopping
local] I own a a local business and its hard to match the prices of the
big guys, we would if we could. That being said, I found myself looking for
a flat screen TV. No one in the keys could help me. The online cost was
approximately 1600 dollars. The best deal I could get down here was over
2000 bucks.
I
understand when you can buy a "widget" from someone one else and save a
bunch, but you would have to be nuts or very wealthy not to shop around and
get the best deal. On day to day widgets I will pay a little more just to
spend my beans on Big Pine Key. It helps us all. |
|
The candidacy of both McCain and Obama presented me
with a serious moral dilemma because neither had any substantial record of
acting in a fashion that was in concert with my core beliefs. Obama simply
had no record of accomplishment of anything and McCain’s substantial record
was largely contrary to my conservative belief system. Obama’s history and
campaign sloganeering suggested strongly that his problem solving approach
would be ultra liberal, while McCain’s history and sloganeering showed a
glimmer of hope that he would be nearer to the center. I chose McCain simply
because he did not appear to be the most evil of these two lessers. Now that
Obama is preparing to shoulder the burdens of the Presidency he is signaling
that he will continue pursuit of much of the Bush agenda, which shows
unexpected wisdom on his part. I commend him. It strikes me that many
Obama’s decisions to date are directly contrary to what one would expect of
the liberal ideologue that he professed to be. This fact gives me a small
measure of reassurance but it is thoroughly enraging to his liberal base.
I’m beginning to believe that the man Obama may have won, but that a more
conservative approach to governance by Obama may actually emerge. My thanks
to Martha Stewart for saying “That would be a good thing”. |
|
A
few of the laws Santa Claus broke the other night:
~Every December 25, the illegal immigrant known as Santa Claus crosses the
border into the United States without a passport. He carries concealed
contraband, which he sneaks into the country in order to avoid inspection by
the U.S. Customs Service. And just what's in all those brightly colored
packages tied up with ribbons, anyway? The Drug Czar and Homeland Security
want to know.
~Look at how this international fugitive gets around: Santa flies in a
custom-built sleigh that hasn't been approved by the FAA. He never files a
flight plan. He has no pilot's license. In the dark of night, he rides the
skies with just a tiny bioluminescent red light to guide him -- a clear
violation of traffic safety regulations.
~Pulling Santa's sleigh: Eight tiny reindeer, a federally protected species
being put to hard labor. None of these reindeer have their required shots,
and Santa's never bothered to get these genetically- engineered animals
registered and licensed. It's no wonder: He keeps them penned outside his
workplace in a clear violation of zoning laws.
~But Crooked Claus the Conniving Capitalist harms more than just animals --
he's hurting hard-working American laborers, too. Isn't Santa's Workshop
really Santa's Sweatshop, where his non-union employees don't make minimum
wage and get no holiday pay? Add the fact that OSHA has never inspected the
place, and you have a Third-World elf-exploitation operation that only Kathy
Lee Gifford could love.
~No wonder Santa is able to maintain his monopoly over the toy distribution
industry: He's cornered the Christmas gift market. Santa dares to give away
his products for free in a sinister attempt to crush all competition -- just
like Microsoft's Internet Explorer. Antitrust Lawsuit memo to the feds: Is
Santa Claus the Bill Gates of Christmas?
Santa should be arrested and either sent to Gitmo to determine if he's a
terrorist or tried, convicted and put away for a long time! Where is the
rule of law when it comes to Santa? |
|
Mike's Christmas truck video from 08.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moixPpVFGAM |
|
 |
|
[Bird
Rescue] Does anyone else see the irony in the fact that Maya Totman is
being hassled by code enforcement for her bird sanctuary being in a
residential neighborhood, but if she were a commercial fisherman, she could
run her business in a similar location with impunity? |
|

[Hermaphrodite] What do you get when you cross a snowman with a
vampire?
Frostbite! |
|
[Global Warming] The only reason I'm convinced global warming is real
is because President Bush believes it. If that dunderhead believes something
like that it has to be true. |
|

If Craig Cates runs for Mayor I would vote for him. He’s one of the
most honest and nicest people I’ve known in Key West in the more than 35
years I’ve been here. |
|
[Recreation District...approved by a majority of registered voters
within those boundaries] I am neutral on this project. But because I want
the endeavor to be a fair and balanced attempt by the Ad-Hoc committee
please note that neither of the terms "registered voters" or "active
registered voters" are used in the ruling statutes. Neither are Monroe
County's 2 categories of voters ("registered" or "inactive"). This could be
important as the basis for potential legal challenges. Prior to any Ad-Hoc
petitions being counted or submitted, the submitting and accepting agents
have to agree (in writing) on the required number of petitions, and which
voters' signatures are eligible. According to the Statute, "inactive"
voters are also eligible to sign the petitions, which also increases the
number of required signatures. The Supervisor of Elections office keeps the
"registered" and "inactive" names on 2 separate lists, so the Ad-Hoc
committee may need to work with both lists. |
|

[Fishing] Soon we’re not only going to have to buy Florida fishing
license, but an additional State license. Christ, in a few years we’ll
probably have to hire a lawyer just to go fishing. |
|
[Fiasco] that
was a great book review. It sure got my interest. I always thought the poor
treatment of citizens by occupiers ferments insurgency. |
|

[Judge] Can you believe they’re still arguing over who’s going to be
the judge in the keys? |
|
I
think Rev Rick Warren as Obama’s choice of clergy to swear him in is
good. Obama, like Clinton, campaigned on liberal matters, but when faced
with the reality of being the President correctly moved to the center.
That’s how a country should be run—from the center. A little something for
everyone. |
|

[Kwanza]
I guess for the next 4 years it's going to be Happy Kwanza instead of Merry
Christmas. What next? |
|
Conservative comments about Obama are downright
pleasant compared to some of the rhetoric that’s boiling over on the left
winger stew pots. For example : Liberal Utopia says Obama is a race traitor.
Because of Rick Warren the gay marriage supporters are chewing their
leashes. The Daily Slate says “Obama is a sell out.” The Americablog.com
says : “There don't (sic) seem to be any liberals in Obama's cabinet.”
Couple this with his abandonment of most of his promises targeted at
pleasing left wingers, you have a very pissed off because of being pissed on
base. Unfortunately for our progressive pals, there is no Lemon Law for
Presidential elections. You guys voted for him, you’re stuck with him. The
midterm elections are less than two years away, the Dems have had control of
the budget and lawmaking for well over two years now. Remember it was two
years ago when we started sliding towards the edge of the fiscal cliff.
|
|
[Fiasco] Is
that a book predicting the future about Obama? |

[Maniac] Police say the man who shot up and ignited his ex in-laws'
house on Christmas Eve dressed as Santa, planned to flee the country after
the attack, which killed nine people. |
|
I
guess after the obamagate scandal(?) and this economy that Obama will
have the decency to not have a big and expensive inauguration. Have some
class, buddy. |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
filters will
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Menu |
|
Saturday
December 27, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Friday December
26, 2008 |
|
[Book
Review] I received Pulitzer Prize winner Thomas Rick’s Fiasco
for Christmas and couldn’t put it down until I finished it last night
(much to the chagrin of my family). Basically it’s an account of the
buildup to the Iraq war and the first eighteen months of engagement.
Fiasco is an apt name. Although the author doesn't say it the reader
can see how we helped create the insurgence by our World War II tactics
trying to fight an insurgency and how quickly we lost the noble position
of liberator and became occupiers. That is how the Iraqis saw us.
The similarities to Vietnam are chilling. It took us years to learn how
to fight that war and all that hard earned knowledge was swept aside in
our wishful thinking that we would be welcomed with smiles and flowers.
Initially we were welcomed as liberators, but soon squandered all that
good will by our heavy-handed and indiscriminate tactics. We never
considered the culture of honor of the Arab. That is all they have and
that is an important reason they’re never been at peace with each other.
(I’m simplifying here) If someone has been dishonored they will hold
that grudge for centuries until the original sleight has been forgotten.
They don’t forgive and forget or kiss and make up like we do in the
west.
In war there are two critical parts that are imperative for victory.
Strategy and tactics. Strategy is the overall plan of goals, etc.
Tactics is the actual way the troops fight--bang bang. Bad strategy
equals disaster for any military operation. The Commander for the
“Coalition” (the coalition was a token effort at best) General Sanchez’s
strategy was “Kill the bad guys”. That was it! It wasn't until General
Sanchez and the Coalition Provisional Authority’s Bremmer were replace
in 2005 that there finally was a stated strategy.
The book makes the case based on military leaders’ accounts and the
military’s own account that they never had enough troops to do the job
they were tasked to do. The Army’s indiscriminate round up of Iraqis,
the brutal and humiliating treatment of it’s citizens and the horrors of
Abu Ghraib did more to feed the budding insurgency than anything else
happening in the country. Abu Ghraib was just one prison of many. All
the prisoners in all the prisons were abused, Abu Ghraib was just the
most famous. There never was a plan to handle prisoners of war because
we simplistically thought that we would be out of the country in three
months and the Iraqis would take over.
All commanders in the east, south and west of Baghdad did everything
wrong and each contributed to the insurgency by their attitude towards
the people of Iraq and their iron-fisted tactics. The only real
successes were primarily in the north of Baghdad by Generals Petraeus
and Mattis and Col McMasters who didn’t need to be told to implement
classic counterinsurgency tactics.
I was not surprised at the disparity of Washington’s view of the war and
the actual fight. It was as if Washington was talking about an entirely
different war. The false statements and blatant omissions from the
administration are tragic as is the lack of direction and leadership
from Rumsfeld and Bremmer. It reminded me of Westermorland’s false body
counts from the Vietnam war. The administration kept criticizing the
media for only reporting the bad things while the insurgency continued
to grow and Iraq was on the brink of all out civil war. There was
nothing good to report. Everything good that was done was soon
destroyed.
Rick’s book tells account after account of the brave man and woman who
sweated and bled to fight a war they were not trained to fight. They
were so overextended, over worked and had no date to fix on for when
they would go home that moral was abound fifty percent negative. When
they did get a date it would be canceled and their deployment extended
without any future date to look forward to.
In the end Fiasco clearly proves that some of America’s most
highly respected civilian and military leaders were derelict in their
duty to the brave soldiers and to our nation. The book overflows with
the military’s own official critique of these actions.
I think I’ll read
it again |
|

Kwanza begins today and ends January 21. They light a candle each to
commemorate a positive thought. |
|
[Winners and Losers] A poster in here was really trying to insult
Obama which failed miserably but in the end he said "I'm getting dizzy
here". Not to worry that happened to a bunch of McCain supporters. It
comes from finding out that Joe the Plumber went public saying that he
was appalled by McCain by the time the election ended. It seems, after
all, the right man was elected. Kudos to the American voters. |
|
Key
West Pops raffle of a Zenn electric car to raise money during our
10th anniversary season. It's a full size electric car with AC. You can
plug it into your home wall socket. It is a perfect car for the Key West
as it goes 50 plus miles on a charge and can reach speeds of up to 35
mph. Key West is going Green and this energy efficient vehicle is the
Pops way of doing its part for the City and raising much needed money at
the same time. They are only selling 750 tickets at $100 each with the
drawing on March 8 at our 10th anniversary concert. Just go to
www.keywestpops.org to
check it out! |
|
[Answers]
Here are a lot of helpful answers from the U of Florida Extension.
UF/IFAS Extension: Solutions for Your Life |
|

I hope everyone has enjoyed the
holidays
so far. I know I have and I am blessed to have my sister, Kenzie with me
through the New Year. |
|
Years ago there
was no Winn Dixie to complain about. About two times a month we
went to Key West and did our shopping. I learned to speak Spanish here.
In those days almost all locals were bilingual. They have since lost
their heritage thanks to being a top tourist destination since 1982 when
the 7 mile bridge had to be rebuilt. In the first year of Winn Dixie's
opening they did as much business as was predicted to take three years
to accomplish. It was a very welcome business for the locals who were
too busy with life to worry about complaining. |
|

[Peace] I was just walking by and found somebody had left us this
piece (peace) of beach art. Rather touching, really. |
|
Deer
Editor, Thanks for the freedom to express on your website. |
|

The next
computer club meeting
is coming up this Saturday, December 27, 10 am at the BPK library. We
hope to see you there.
Bulletin Board |
|
[More bar wisdom] They should tell you before you get married
that Einstein got divorced. Do you think you're smarter than Einstein? |
|

Merry Christmas to all (with Timber's help) from Key West Copper Art
and RamrodRuthy's! |
|
[Greed] On Christmas day a poster took the time to
complain about greed, especially the “outrageous” greed of local
landlords and retailers. His remedy? Don’t shop locally. Isn’t it heat
warming to read tracts such as this on the day we celebrate the birth of
a being who gave all he possessed including his life for his fellow man.
I’m confident that the complaining poster takes not one cent more in
wages that he requires to meet his most basic needs. He must be a wage
earner; his principles would stop him from making profit as an employer.
We can be sure that the poster diligently volunteers time, labor and
money to worthy causes. His charitable giving surely exceeds 10% of his
income. We can be confident that the poster will not succumb to greed,
for he will surely refuse even one cent in profit from the sale of his
home or any of his goods. We can be sure that the poster lives a simple
life, free from TV, cars, cell phones, computers, air conditioning,
radio, stylish clothing, or any other manifestations of greed or envy.
Most certainly the poster used the free computer at the library to make
the posting. You can be certain that the poster refused to accept tax
payer dollars from the government in the form of “stimulus payments”.
Without a doubt the poster will not take profit such as interest from
his savings or investments. It’s heartwarming to hear from our socialist
neighbor who would end all private profit. I’m sure that the poster’s
motive for not spending locally is not the greed of seeking lower prices
elsewhere, but is a simple good faith act of principle. I’m certain that
the posters urging “keep your money in your wallet” was not a statement
of greed, it was just a mistake, and he really wishes all of his local
neighbors nothing but happiness and prosperity. |
|
[Dr
Paul] Anyone seeking chiropractic care should contact Dr. Paul
Barrett. I have had back problems all my life and have been to countless
chiropractors from Key West all the way to New Jersey throughout the
last 25 plus years. Dr. Paul is the only doctor that gets the full
adjustment. He even actually made a special appointment to adjust me on
Christmas Eve. I can't say enough about how grateful I am for that. We
need a chiropractor like that on Big Pine. I went to Norman for years
and he could never quite get the full adjustment (and, no, he didn't
try to fondle me, but then again I'm a man). Thanks again doc, I'll
bring you some fresh fish and lobster the next time I go fishing! Merry
Christmas. |
|
[Chain Stores]
The original poster wrote “most” of the money leaves the Keys. That
means that a small portion of the money stays here in the form of
employees’ pay. What pedestrian readers there are here. |
|
A
belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to the poster who gives us a
daily dose of his rose colored views of the past eight years. I
would have thought you would take Christmas off, but then again I
suppose you feel less than fulfilled if you can't see yourself in print
puffing up your political agenda. Why not do something positive in '09
and hold a sore losers inaugural party on January 20 for all those lost
souls who just can't get over the last elections. There is a reason you
lost so big in almost every arena. I have another party to attend on
1/20 but I would be happy to donate the Crow and the Kool-Aid to yours. |
|
[Landlords
Greedy] I resent the poster who wrote that landlords are greedy.
Maybe short term landlords are , but the rest of us price our units as
low as practical in order to keep tenants long term. |
|

[Jail Food]
If you want better food stay out of jail. |
|
[Immigration.
DHS. USBP. Sucks!]
And so does Mr.
Jerkoff. My God, 12 million illegals, that's 2 million more than the
population of Hungary. From this 12 million they only managed to deport
891,000! If that doesn't show gross inefficiency and incompetence in
government than I don't know what does. With the budgets of DHS, and
USBP They should be doing a lot better job. Hell, if you see footage of
the USBP, every second officer is a Mexican. The foxes guarding the
chicken coop. I think if the State or Federal Government would offer a
cash bounty for the apprehension of illegals, the problem would be
solved in months. Say $50 a head. Good hunting everyone. |
|
[Keep
Your Ball. We've Got the Possum] The heck with Times Square, I'm
going to North Carolina. The lights are strung, the stage is set and
Baby New Year is waiting in a cage, hissing. Brasstown, once again, is
ready for the Possum Drop. Yes, the annual New Year's Eve Possum Drop,
the one and only, inspired by the dropping of a certain illuminated ball
670 miles away. On Thursday, at the stroke of midnight, at the exact
moment that hundreds of thousands of people holler in the New Year at
Times Square, with millions more tipping back champagne flutes and
watching it on TV, a few hundred people will huddle at a CITGO station
in this little Appalachian town, wearing hunting jackets and hats with
dangling ear flaps, to cheer the descent of one confused marsupial. Talk
about parallel universes.
It started 13 years ago, when someone said to Clay Logan, owner of
Brasstown's only gas station and vendor of kitschy possum products, ''If
New York City can drop a ball, why can't we drop a possum?'' Mr. Logan
could think of no reason why not. At midnight, as he lets a rope slip
between his fingers, lowering a possum in a Plexiglas cage from the roof
of his gas station, Mr. Logan will call out, as he has every New Year's
Eve since 1990, ''5, 4, 3, 2, 1!'' And then, as the crowd starts going
bananas, ''The possum has landed!'' The possum is alive, of course, and
will be released at the end of the night unharmed, if a little cranky.
|
|

Why is all cough syrup cherry flavored? |
|
[Sloan] Yesterday morning, I ran into a fellow I know, who had
just gotten out of his second stint this year in the Stock Island jail.
He said the food is awful and the word among inmates at the jail is that
Sloan Bashinsky has gone to bat for them. Yeah, and so has God, who put
me up to it, with no small amount of help from Lorri Szostak, a board
certified forensic psychiatrist.
What can I say? Yesterday was rough as hell. I was laid low most of the
day.
I called Lorri and we talked some about how it is when God takes a
special interest in someone. From that moment on, you move toward God,
or away. There is no staying where you were before God came calling.
When Lorri asked if I was hopeful about the jail food situation
correcting itself, I said I wasn’t holding my breath. I’d been involved
in too many rough situations to expect people to change, and I had
seldom seen miracles or direct divine interventions that scared people
into changing. I said I felt Randy Berg, Esq., who represented the
inmates in the McIntyre case against Sheriff Roth, was the best hope I
saw
I had Christmas dinner yesterday evening with Todd German and his
daughter, Valerie, at the Yacht Harbor, where Todd lives on his boat, 99
to Life. Just after arriving, I saw three man o’ war birds circling and
soaring over the harbor, and shook my weary head.
Over dinner, I spent a while getting to know Craig Cates, who told me he
is going to run for Mayor of Key West next year. He owns the NAPA
distributorship in Key West and is a third-generation conch. When I said
I’d heard Andy Griffith was going to run, Craig said Andy decided not to
run after he, Craig, decided to run. When I asked Craig what he would do
as Mayor, if he could call all the shots and not have to deal with the
six city commissioners, he said he would try to get everyone in Key West
to start all getting along. He said there is way too much division and
disagreement.
When I later shared this with Todd, I said that isn’t my style. Todd
agreed, said everybody is different. I found myself thinking that God
hasn’t been able to get everybody to all get along since Cain killed
Abel. Key West hasn’t been able to get everyone in Key West to all get
along after adopting the One Human Family creed of the gay community. I
silently wished Craig luck, as I thought of ways to revive the Key West
economy.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
|
|

What peace in the New Year? |
|
[Shop
Local the money does go back into the local economy because the
people who work at these retail chain stores are indeed locals] No they
are not "indeed locals", and they do not spend their paychecks here. The
majority of the retail chain stores' employees commute to and from
Miami-Dade County. Most locals who are employed in the Keys do
not
work at the retail chains. They work for businesses owned by locals. And
yes, I do shop at both the locally owned stores and retail chains, so I
see who's where.
It's
easy to put an end to this ongoing discussion. All Monroe County
employers should answer 2 questions: Are you a retail chain and what are
your employees' home zip codes. |
|

[Out of Date Beans] They were not canned beans they were W/D
brand in a plastic container, and they were slimy. |
|
[A Single Mom] I got my son's best presents from your classified
ads, one was even free! Thanks for all you do through out the year,
and may next year be your healthiest and happiest ever. |
|
Brian
Roberts will be performing tonight, Friday, on the Beach/Waterfront
at Parrotdise Waterfront Bar & Grille. Happy Hour is from 3PM-7PM with
$1 off of all sandwiches and beers. Well drinks will be $3.50 and Wines
at $4. Full service indoor dining until late night. Prepare to Party to
start the New Year. |
|
[Recreation
District] Florida Statute Chapter 418 provides for the Creation
of Recreation Districts, by petition, for the purpose of acquisition and
improvements to public recreation facilities in unincorporated areas of
counties. With provisions for alternate financing methods other
than just using ad valorem taxes. The method an ad-hoc committee of Key
Largo Citizens has chosen to pursue, is the creation of such
a recreation district for unincorporated Key Largo by Petition to
the Monroe Board of County Commissioners to pass an
Ordinance creating the Key Largo Recreation District. That Statute
requires that the Petition contain the boundaries of the unincorporated
District and be approved by a majority of registered voters within those
boundaries.
The original proposal was based on prior information from the office of
the supervisor of Elections office the updated registration list is that
used for the November 4, 2008 voter registration list. In consultation
with the Plantation Office of voter registration the following
corrections are made to that information and will be used for this
petition .
Unincorporated Key Largo Starts from the Center Line of Tavernier Creek
MM 91.5 and extends North to MM 112.5 and includes Ocean Reef.. Within
these boundaries are voting precincts 27-33 with a total registration of
active voters of 9,835, Therefore a majority of signatures for an
acceptable petition would be 50% plus one or 4,919. The petition would
be validated by the Supervisor of Elections prior to it's submission to
the BOCC. Any signatures on the petition other than voters in the areas
described would be stricken . However they would not invalidate the
petition itself.
Use
of Registered voters signatures are used for petition purposes only. The
Ad-Hoc Committee at it's inception voted that this project would be
non-political .Any one residing within the Boundaries as described
regardless of their political affiliation or views would have the right
to participate in the creation of the District, by signing the petition,
or not, as they so choose.
When this Ordinance is created by the BOCC the elected official of the
County Commission will sit as the Board of Directors of the Key Largo
Recreation District and will have the authority to appoint an unpaid
volunteer committee to assist them in developing recreational properties
as described for their approval.
Two
tentative proposals that have been suggested for consideration ,by the
Key Largo Recreation District. The first by the Ad-Hoc committee, the
purchase and development of a bayside municipal park at the site of the
former Rowell Property. The Second by Jerry Wilkinson and Dr. Jim
Boilini a combination historical and marine Museum possibly using the
Ninehouser Property.
Planning is now under way to circulate this petition by the Ad-Hoc
committee. |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our
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Menu |
|
Friday December
26, 2008 |
|

Coconut Telegraph |
|
Christmas
Day, December 25, 2008 |
|

NORAD TRACKS SANTA 2008 |
|
Merry
Christmas to my favorite place in the US and thank you Mr. Editor. |
|
 |
|
[Carnivore's
Booze]
Isinglass
is fish bladder (commonly sturgeon) and is used to "speed up" the
clarification process in some beers. It is not necessary, and other such
products used (such as Irish Moss) are vegetarian. Apparently the use of
isinglass is used fairly extensively in the UK, and is being taken on in the
US to an extent too. It should never be present in German beers, as they
adhere to very strict brewing laws.
Gelatin
is a
substance formed from the boiling of animal skin, connective tissue or
bones, and is occasionally used to remove sediments and proteins during the
wine clarification process. Some wines also contain traces of animal blood –
though this is not as common and is forbidden in France. Additionally, the
use of albumen (egg whites), milk and casein (a protein found in milk) can
make some vegetarian wines unsuitable for vegans. Isinglass can also be used
in wine.
Note
that other substances may be used, but the above do represent the most
common. Yuk! |
|
 |
|
[Shop
Local] The poster of the comment that shopping at retail chains does not
help the local economy is either stupid or is being disingenuous. The money
does go back into the local economy because the people who work at these
retail chain stores are indeed locals. They therefore take their hard
earned paychecks and spend them here. If we had more retail chain stores
then there would be more jobs and more money flowing into our local economy.
Wouldn't this person like to see more business's here than vacant store
fronts that have a for sale sign on them? |
|
This
recent photo, supplied by the Detroit Zoo, shows a newborn aardvark,
Amani (Swahili for “peace”), born Dec. 8 to mother, Rachaael, and father,
Mchimbaji. This is a face that only a mother could love! |
|
[Christmas
is a Gas] I would like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a very
Merry Christmas. To my Paradise Petroleum family, I love you guys and miss
you lots! To my mother dearest, I know today is hard for you and please
remember I love you and there is a Law & Order marathon on TV. Have a happy
and healthy New Year. Hugs and kisses always, Tara. |
|
 |
|
[Ace
and True Value Franchise] As you so succinctly pointed out they are not
franchises but rather 'co-ops'. Please feel free to substitute the names of
most any real estate office in their place as examples of franchises. |
|

KOMO News - Video - Video - Even baby elephants like the snow |
|
[Wetbacks]
For once, a good use of my tax money:
Department of Homeland Security(DHS)
The
Office of Immigration Statistics Annual Report presents information on the
apprehension, detention, return, and removal of foreign nationals during
2007. In summary:
- DHS apprehended nearly 961,000 foreign nationals. Nearly 89 percent were
natives of Mexico.
- The
annual number of foreign nationals apprehended by the Border Patrol
decreased by 19 percent compared to 2006.
- ICE
detained approximately 311,000 foreign nationals.
- More than 319,000 aliens were removed from the United States—the fifth
consecutive record high. The leading countries of origin of those removed
were Mexico (65 percent), Honduras (9 percent) and Guatemala (8 percent).
- More than 891,000 other foreign nationals accepted an offer to return to
their home countries without a removal order.
- Expedited removals accounted for 106,200 or 33 percent of all removals.
- DHS removed 99,900 known criminal aliens from the United States.
http://www.dhs.gov/ximgtn/statistics/publications/index.shtm#0 |
|
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[Ozzie
and Jessica] Wow, I'm glad Christmas is over.
Jessica Simpson and
Ozzy Osbourne, |
|

Another Christmas truck. Can you imagine showing up at a fire in this
rig?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIlWpV3nJqM |
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[Winn-Dixie BBO beans out of date] While
I agree all stores should make an effort to keep canned products on the
shelf within the date codes, I doubt those beans were slimy. Most dates on
canned goods say "Best By:" meaning the food inside has it's best taste and
color before that date. The reality is, as long as the can is not damaged
or swollen, the contents are edible. 7 days out of date on a can means
nothing.
I
know many people who would be happy to have a can of beans with any date on
them right now. Perhaps instead of spewing venom, you could have bought
them and donated them to one of the Keys food banks that provide meals daily
for those less fortunate. The food banks are in as much trouble as many
of the money banks are right now. After all, it's Christmastime. |
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Much thanks to the management and professional bar gang at Tiki for making
all us locals feel special. Tuesday night was a blast, great food, cold
beer and good times. George, Jenna, Beth, Diane, James and Ken you
guys are awesome! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the locals. |
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[Ultrasound] This
is an ultrasound of our baby. He may not be the one but he can
show you the one. |
|
[Shop
Chain Stores] Who do you think works at those chain stores and where do
you think they spend their money? |
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[Merry Christmas]
It will be a fine holiday. Even though there are many who are eager to
dilute or kill it. It is the celebration of the birth of the single most
important being ever to walk the face of this earth. Notwithstanding
religiosity, no other being has impacted world civilization to the extent
that this humble son of a carpenter has. Merry Christmas, Jesus Christ was a
hell of a man. Our founders recognized the goodness, morality, and common
sense of that man by codifying many of his teachings into our foundational
documents. We, as a nation, should honor his birthday forever more. We are
currently in an economic mess, but about 94% of all Americans are employed,
that’s better than it was in 1993. About 97% of all home mortgages are
not in foreclosure and about 93% are being paid on time. In some
markets real estate sales are taking off. The stock market seems to have
found a bottom at about 8300. People who have decent credit (translated: the
kind of credit you needed 15 or so years ago to finance a home) have no
problem getting loans at decent rates. Even I was able to take advantage of
low prices and credit availability to buy a brand new car. Consumer goods
like TV’s and other durable goods are really affordable. We are now
officially in a recession, it’s not the first and it won’t be the last. But
it is a recession, not a ‘30’s style depression. We’ve won in Iraq and are
gearing up to expand ops in Afghanistan. We haven’t suffered an attack on
our soil since 9/11, N. Korea and Libya and Syria are out of the nuke
business. AIDS is no longer a death sentence, and malaria is on the wane in
Africa. There’s plenty to be merry about.
Until 1/20/09 the
media will want you to believe that all is gloom and doom, on 1/21/09 the
media will start telling you how quickly everything is improving, except for
that ghastly deficit caused by our panicked bail out excesses and
nationalizing industry. Chicken Little is afoot in the land, ignore him.
Merry Christmas. |
|

Florida cracker outdoor kitchen. Click on the link to see what a real
coastal kitchen looks like.
coastal kitchen |
|
[Box
and Chain Stores] It’s not just the box and (ball and) chain stores.
The problem seems to be everywhere in the keys. Greed (landlords and
retailers) breed faster than rabbits. Shop on the internet or through
catalogs and you don’t have to deal with the outrageous greed. Keep the
extra money in your wallet. |
|
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|
Florida Keys landscape advisor. Here are a lot of handy
tips for us gardeners.
Florida Keys Landscape Advisor |
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Merry
Christmas to the real peacemakers, our troops, law enforcement abd fire
fighters. |
|
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[Death] Yesterday morning, I
saw an old friend. A man o’ war bird. I was not happy to see him, because
whenever he shows up, it heralds my becoming embroiled in spiritual warfare.
It being Christmas Eve and all, I had more in mind sugar plums and fairies,
and something warm and fuzzy for Christmas. Or, as I said to God last night
as I headed to my crib just off Duval Street, what I really wanted for
Christmas was not to be on this planet any more.
When I spoke by phone with a friend yesterday, I lamented how the angels
take holidays, especially Christmas, as a time to really pour it on. When
she said she was going to pray for me to have a good night’s rest, I said
when people had said that sort of thing to me in the past, the angels seemed
to take it as an invitation to pour it on even more. So please don’t do
that, in other words. As I lay in bed last night, I tried to think back to
when I’d had a pleasant Christmas, and I couldn’t think of one since I was
in college.
Maybe, it now occurs to me, Jesus didn’t find his arrival on this world too
terribly pleasant, and from what I read in the Gospels, I can’t see anywhere
in there that he got up in the morning singing praises to God and looking
forward to the day, or looking forward to anything except to his not being
on this world any longer. Not the Jesus I was told about in Sunday school
and church growing up, or later, but the Jesus I see whenever I spend time
pondering the Gospels.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
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Merry Christmas to all my Keys friends and those
whom I haven't had the pleasure to have met yet. It's a glorious day! |
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Thursday
December 25, 2008 |
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Christmas Eve December 24, 2004 |
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Kudos to the anti war protestors from the author of
the recent critical posting. It appears that you folks exemplify protest
as it should be, constructive and positive. I must assume that the
vicious signage I have previously seen on BPK was displayed by some
other folks who lack your patriotism or calm sensibilities. My ire is
aimed at those who vilify all conflict, all war, and any leader who
would resort to war. As a just nation we must take all prudent measures
to avoid war, because all war is horrific. But there are instances
wherein prosecution of a war is essential for the manifest good of our
nation or humanity. On those rare occasions, we must win. I trust that
you folks also support our leaders as well as our troops, because it has
been our national leadership’s war policies that have kept us safe in
our homes for the past 7.5 years. It is those policies that have
minimized al Qaeda's ability to wreak worldwide terror. We will again
feel the pain of homeland attack if we are once again relabeled as being
a nation of weak will and shallow conviction. It’s especially
interesting to note that it’s highly unlikely that the new
administration will substantially modify those policies. I commend you
for your patriotism, generosity, and dedication. |
|

[Brain Exercise] The findings suggest that videogames that keep
players "on their toes" might help older adults keep their brains
sharp.
Videogames may do the aging brain good | Health | Reuters |
|
[Winn/Dixie]
Check your out of date stamps. The BBO beans were out of date for 7
days. I emailed the corporate office. They will foreword the complaint
to the appropriate people. Two days later the slimy beans were still on
the shelf.
Gas is
cheap again. I'm going to Publix. |
|

[200 People Peace Sign] I was at the park on Veteran's Day and
saw maybe 100 people form the peace sign. Was there one twice as big
that I missed? |
|
The Flying Santa at Boston Light on Little Brewster Island.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaMIeDV_I34 |
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[Christmas Carol]
http://www.month2month.com/resources/swf/Rockin%20Santa%20Final.swf |
|
[Shop local] That doesn’t apply to chain stores because all that
money leaves the Keys. Shopping at chain stores does very little for the
local economy. |

Sara Palin's Christmas card. |
|
[Is it really a refuge?] I am the last person to protect the US
Fish & Wildlife Service in the Florida Keys because everything you wrote
about what they are doing is true. They do not rehabilitate any
wildlife, pure and simple; any critter hurt is killed. However, the
bird slaughter resulted because of the Florida Fish & Wildlife
Conservation Commission.
You are also correct about "uninformed or apathetic citizens." Even
before feral cat trapping started on Federal property, I emailed
numerous people warning them that the project was but the tip of the
iceberg - all of Big Pine and No Name would become targets. It fell on
deaf ears.
In order to save wildlife, it will take forming a group of concerned
citizens to deal with the bureaucracy - such as
Firm and
Citizens Not Serfs. The
Key Deer Protection Alliance wasn't interested in rehabilitating deer
when I approached them, so unless something has changed, forget them.
This refuge is unlike all others with refuge land interspersed with
private property, and to let deer suffer in sight of citizens, which is
where most deer are, is unconscionable. |
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[Complaining
About County Employees] Tuesday 9 A.M., I just did some business
with my local bank--TIB. I could not get in the parking lot because a
county truck was parked very poorly, blocking my way, kind of half in
and half out of the parking space. Now with all that's going on with
bailouts and government needing more money and on and on, someone could
get the wrong impression on what this guy was doing. One may think that
he is on county time, in a county truck parked in such a way that the
county could be sued if someone was hurt trying to get around it. Merry
Christmas to all; and no, I didn’t say a word. I was on my best
Christmas behavior. |
This
is an ultrasound taken of our new baby on 12/13/06. It is not
Photoshoped. It reads as a Konica because my wife took a picture of the
ultrasound print. Just in time for Christmas, we had to put it on our
cards. Do you think he's "the one"? |
|
[Goodbye to Zack the Dog] Thanks for posting the picture of Zack
and your kind remarks. We have placed his picture on our memorial
page. To see our gallery of photos, visit
www.cruzanimalhospital.com . Happy Holidays and may peace be with
you! |
|
[Chain
Stores] Why do people write in that have no clue what they are
writing about? The display of ignorance is amazing. Ace is not a chain
store or a franchise. Nor is True Value, for that matter. Radio Shack
is a locally owned franchise. CVS and Winn Dixie are chain stores. I
could explain the differences, but I need to get back to work. So you do
a little research before you spout off. |
|
All the merchants at WD plaza should be smiling. I had a hard
time finding a place to park. I really don't think we need that BBQ
wagon there taking up our valuable space. Other than that my shopping
experience was really great. I bought Christmas decorations at Belles, a
great shirt and jeans at Bert and Frannies, and the new owner at Radio
Shack ordered me a new phone and then on to WD. Shop local they're
really trying hard. |
|

[Life's a Breeze in the Florida Keys] Made my cry. I miss the
Keys so much. Even 600 miles away seems like away. No ice and snow,
just lots of blue hairs and boredom. |
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[Chum
Price] I have a cat named Chum, so does that count? At three
o'clock in the morning when he is attacking me while I try to sleep I am
sure I would give him to you, free of charge. Can't get much cheaper
than that. |
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[Sock
Hop] My husband and I would like to say thank you to all who
participated in the Presents in Paradise 1950's sock hop at Boondocks. A
big thank you to Kelly, Lanny and John for helping us bring this
together and letting us use their restaurant. We would also like to
thank Jennifer St. James at FM104.1 for supplying the music and being a
great DJ. We would also like to thank Sunset Water Sports, Fury, Yankee
Freedom, Little Palm Island, Babys Coffee, Heather Fowler Interiors,
Aroma's Cafe, No Name Pub, Turtle Hospital, Reef Light Tackle, Crazy
Fish, Cracked Egg and Jigs Bait n Tackle for their donations of services
and goods.
Another special thank you to a woman in the local playgroup who donated
a trailer for a mother in the shelter and to Grassy Key Bob to help us
get the bike from the Bike Shop in Marathon.
We wouldn't have met our goal if it weren't for Mary Lou and the girls
of Girls Night Out Club" in Key West--thanks ladies. Thank you everyone
for making this a special Christmas for the kids in the shelters from
Key West to Key Largo and the teens in Wesley House.
Way to go, gang! |
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Photoshop in action.
Slide Show |
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McAfee Security System has released a generic.dx trojan as an
update that recognizes pc games as being infected. It has crashed
computer games worldwide. Thanks McAfee. And Happy Holidays! |
|

Ho Ho Ho Lost Cargo will be open today, Christmas Eve for the last
minute shoppers until 3pm. We will also have a fresh truck load of vine
ripe tomatoes delivered today along with many other goodies.
I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and thank you for all
your wonderful support thru these hard times. ~Lisa & family |
|
This
bizarre animation is painted entirely on city walls. It’s very
original art and very weird.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuGaqLT-gO4
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If you obey
all the rules,
you'll miss all the fun. ~Katherine Hepburn |
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Sending one of these cards take real nerve.
someecards.com | ecards for when you care enough to hit send | home
|
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[Dead Dog Zak] Goodbye to an old friend. God bless you and your
old friend, the rainbow bridge is an absolutely awesome concept. |
|
[Pacman
Tree] File this one under "missing the point". I might have been
convinced if you could actually
play it or it did something.
YouTube - Arbol Navidad "Comecocos" Pac Man Xmas tree Madrid |
The
embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers.."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
" So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."
Christmas will be coming tomorrow and some credit is due to our U.S
service men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities.
Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make
people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed
themselves for us. ~LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN 30th Naval Construction
Regiment OIC, Logistics Cell One Al Taqqadum, Iraq |
|

The nicest cat in the world was hit by a car in Cudjoe and crossed
the rainbow bridge. Please slow down. Road kill is horrific, especially
when it is someone’s pet. We have only two lanes down here and it is
really dumb to be a drunk driver and or aggressive. Why don't you turn
on some pretty music and enjoy the scenery during the drive? Thanks to
the lady who called with the info. Be kind to animals, Monroe County.
(Deer Ed, you can remove the classified ad for the lost cat.) |
|
Lost on 12/23/03 in or near Winn Dixie Plaza (I think) - black knit
cap by Disney with pirate skull. Sentimental value. Reward. 434-0093.
Classified Ads > Lost & Found |
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[Stranded
Horses] They hope to rescue two starving horses, trapped in two
meters of snow, by Christmas. They literally found them late one
afternoon and the next morning there were people heading up and taking
feed to them. There are horse blankets up there now. There are people
going up every day taking feed to the horses, working on digging the
trail.
edmontonsun.com - Canada - Volunteers digging to free horses |
|
[Afghan Line
Dancers]
Love
the beat, but the uniforms and bullet proof vests detract from the full
effect.
LiveLeak.com - afghan soldiers putting it down doing the national dance
attan |
|

[Tainted Pancake] I'm a snowbird ready to fly south. I read in
the Telegraph a while back about some infested flour or pancake mix that
got some one real sick? I want to make sure my mate doesn’t mess with
my cake! Remember that? Left over the months on the shelf, if not
sealed properly, is there a danger? |
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[Global Hot or
Colding] It’s really simple once you get the hang of it: The last
few years of worldwide record cold weather is proof that the world is in
the grip of human caused global warming. I think I’m getting it! Obama
will be a great and honorable President because many of his friends and
associates are either corrupt, bigoted, anti American, or just plain
terrorists. It’s getting clearer! Obama will be a great and honorable
President because he learned politics in Chicago’s sewer political
culture. OK, I’m learning. Hillary Clinton will be a great steward of
American foreign policy as Secy of State because her husband has
accepted millions of dollars from
a
multitude of foreign governments, foreign individuals and foreign groups
who have a stake in American foreign policy. O.K. there’s not even a
whiff of conflict in that, it's as pure as an intern's heart. Now it’s
getting clearer. Obama will be a great President because he’s keeping
Gates as well as a whole gang of Bush appointees. That’s a little
confusing, doesn’t that mean that Obama agrees with Bush on a whole
bunch of stuff? Obama is even endorsing Bush’s policies by getting ready
to expand the War on Terror. He’s even floated a plan to keep Gitmo
open. Rev. Rick Warren, pro life heavy hitter and anti gay marriage
activist will give the benediction at O’s coronation. I’m getting a
little dizzy here, but I guess that just means that no change really is
change and that’s why Obama won. Yes, Obama won, but it sure is looking
like the left wingers that voted for him lost, big time. |
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[Wall St Bailout] Sponsor an executive.
Video |
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[Chum]
Good luck finding a ten count case of chum anymore. All distributors
have gone to smaller cases so that all of the old tightwads can lift it. |
|

Merry
Christmas Ed:
After all you put up with all year long, You deserve the Merriest of
Christmas. |
Was the night before Christmas
When all through Big Pine
Two deer were getting frisky, the buck had big tines
From the roof of my trailer
The reindeer laughed and they scorned,
"Screw the carrots when we get midget porn." |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu |
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Wednesday
December 24, 2004 |
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Tuesday
December 23, 2008 |
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[Night Life]
About twenty-five
years ago the TDC surveyed tourists and the reason they said they came
to Key West was for it’s history and the large birds in nature and the
reef. The recent Harris Poll concludes tourist’s main reason for coming
to Key West is for the night life. We have the developers to thank for
that. |
|
[Female
Singer Wanted] The Band Reach has been faced with a situation, Miss
Jamie Olwell, or lead vocalist has been forced to leave the band do to a
very serious work load, So now we are presented with a situation of
replacing her position which is going to be hard to do. If there is a
Female singer and if you play keyboard that will be an extra special
plus, with front person capabilities that likes to perform with a
professional, and very good working Band doing R&B, pop, blues, classic
rock-n-roll. If this sounds like you and you are professional minded
please give me a call to set up a time for an audition. The keyboard
part is not a requirement but would surly take this band over the top.
We are booked for Gigs thru April Please call 305 942-9395 and ask for
Dennis.
Classified Ads |
|
[Summation
of thoughts of a Big Pine Christmas (warning: may take three or more
Scotches)] No Spam, canned pineapples and instant mash potatoes at the
Winn Dixie. After the sixth bottle of Boones the AC shaker unit in the
trailer gets ripped out so Santa can get in. You throw orange peels on
your roof for the iguanas because they sound like reindeer. The
neighbors "roast" taste like a pine tree with a hint of hibiscus. The
last time you had snow on Christmas it left lines on the coffee table.
You go to Teasers to shop for perfume. Red duct tape is wrapping
paper. A tooth brush is a stocking stuffer because you stole hers to
shine the chrome on your bike. You are using a credit card at The Buck
Store. Your nativity set is a shoe box with three matchbox Harley's and
a travel trailer. Your dreaming of your old lady in motorcycle boots and
the little Santa outfit high up on the left wall of Belles and then she
steals your red duck tape and wire ties to make bows for the lawn
ornaments. Your Christmas tree has roots so you can return it to the
refuge. You use paper clips to hang ornaments. You upgrade to the more
expensive Budweiser lager because the cans are festive. You’re taking a
break from your scoot ride outside of Baby's and people try and put
money in your coffee. To all a Merry Christmas, and all a good night
may we meet again at the Winn Dixie; the isle to the right. |
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[Goodbye
To An Old Friend] Over Thanksgiving we lost a very
special member of our Mile Marker 24 family. Zack, our Golden Retriever
left this world and went to the Rainbow Bridge, ending a twelve-year
love affair. We feel so blessed to have had him in our life and all the
wonderful things he taught us. Number one being, you can never have
enough tennis balls! We miss him terribly and want to thank Dr. Cruz and
his staff for their compassion and helping us get through this tough
time. |
|
[Is It Really a
Refuge?] When we moved to the Keys several years ago, it was with
the belief that it was a kind and caring community located in a unique
place in the world and, at least at some level, thankful for this
place. The place is indeed unique. There are some fine people, but so
many that have proven disappointing, especially in their apathy and
self-centeredness.
That
said, I am writing following the recent postings on BigPineKey.com in
which the forced slaughter at the local bird rehabilitation center was
addressed. That in itself is a horribly senseless and cruel act. There
are few people who would commit their selfless caring, compassion,
morality, and hard work to aid helpless, injured creatures. I have
heard so many stories, including several recently, about the
ruthlessness and cruelty of the government employees at USFWS and the
Key Deer Refuge. Two days ago, in the course of a general conversation,
a professional woman, who cares about our wildlife, told of calling the
“Refuge” when a fawn came into her yard hurt. They reportedly
slaughtered the fawn then and there. I called them last year when I
found a doe in my yard that had been hit by a car. The coward that hit
her ran away and left her there to suffer with two shattered hind legs.
I naively called the “Refuge,” who cornered her, threw a net over her,
threw her in the back of a pickup, and hauled her away, with no regard
to her pain. There was open defiance on the part of concerned citizens
after Hurricane Wilma left the deer with no food or water. The “Refuge”
and other responsible parties refused to help them, claiming that it was
a “natural” event. I suppose it was, but that hardly justifies the
unconscionable and immoral act of standing by and insisting that
helpless animals be left alone to starve and die of thirst.
The result of acts
such as these have left a great many caring people refusing to call
USFWS or the “Refuge” for assistance of any kind out of fear of the acts
of violence or negligence they’ll commit. Like the person on Little
Torch who called them because she’d trapped a mischievous raccoon in a
live trap. A government employee showed up and shot the raccoon in
front of this person. There’s a person who cares for and relocates
raccoons just down the road. And then there are the “burns”. A circle
burn a few years ago that obviously caught many living things in it’s
center that were burned to death. The plans last year to burn 20 or 40
acres of habitat on Big Pine to improve habitat for marsh rabbits, all
because a biology intern needed to do an experiment for a thesis. That
act might be a little more palatable if there was concrete evidence that
there are any marsh rabbits in that area, and if some meaningful effort
was made to protect other living creatures from being burned to death.
I often see people stop on Key Deer or Wilder, including myself, to move
a box turtle across the road before someone who doesn’t care for or
respect life runs over it. How are the box turtles, and many other
creatures, going to get out of a burn area? Some will say, “no big
deal”.
A couple of years
ago, I was asked by a local feral cat care group to look at the research
being used by USFWS/USDA and the Key Deer Refuge to justify the trapping
and slaughtering of feral cats. Having a fairly extensive background in
research, I agreed to do that. After several days and many hours of
wading through over 200 pages of material, I ended up writing several
pages of critique and returning it to the feral cat group. I also
posted some of my impressions on this site in what ended up being a
fruitless effort to inform the local community of what these agencies
planned to do, and why. In short, the research used by these agencies
was badly flawed with highly questionable conclusions. It was not
conducted on Big Pine Key, but 20 miles south of here on the fenced-in
naval reservation. The public outcry consisted of one individual who I
was told was either an employee of the “Refuge” or a former employee,
who dripped in vitriole and spouted reams of nasty nonsense in an effort
to discredit my postings (all of which are/were supported by data).
There are those that will go to any length to censor the truth. The
other poster made a comment to the effect of, “I’m tired of hearing
about marsh rabbits.” As a consequence of this level of apathy, and
since our government employees couldn’t find enough feral cats to
justify their $50,000 project, they started trapping and killing
raccoons, including the rare red raccoon. They managed to slaughter
over 40 raccoons before the National Humane Society stepped in and
forced them to stop. The irony is that there are numerous uninhabited
keys with suitable marsh rabbit habitat and no rabbit predators that
have been successfully used to re-establish colonies of rabbits.
Additionally, research has been published detailing effective programs
for trapping and relocating feral cats. Evidently, no one is this area
read any of it. And by the way, there are those here that have
purchased land elsewhere for the relocation of trapped cats. Our
government employees reportedly aren’t interested. Humane and morally
responsible alternatives are evidently not an option.
The
author of the major research used in the marsh rabbit project wrote a
rebuttal to my critique, which had been written by another individual,
and which was printed in The Citizen. I broke this rebuttal down and
went back into the research, again, to verify each statement made by the
student, such as “I watched cats killing rabbits on two occasions.”
That statement is non-existent in the original research. Another
assertion had it that the researcher performed autopsies on every dead
rabbit and confirmed cat predation. The original research reported that
only two autopsies were performed and those on bodies that were so badly
decomposed that the results were highly questionable. Cat predation was
presumably confirmed by an “expert” who identified tooth marks on the
bones of the dead rabbits. This presumed that the tooth marks were
those of cats, and that the rabbits were killed by the cats and not
already dead. There was no evidence either way and a number of other
explanations for why the rabbits were dead. Many other rebuttal
statements in the article were convoluted and inaccurate. I didn’t
bother to post this information but sent it on to the cat rescue group.
I was subsequently
contacted by a “mediator” with Fish & Wildlife. I met with him, shared
all of my information which included giving him copies, listened to all
the condescending and patronizing rhetoric which included asking me if I
would be willing to volunteer with the Refuge as a research consultant,
etc., etc. I said “yes”. I was informed that in order to work with the
community, these agencies were going to form study groups to come up
with plans for wildlife management, especially as relates to the marsh
rabbit, and that he would call me when the first meeting was scheduled.
He must have lost my phone number, because I never heard from him or any
other government employee again. And since I don’t subscribe to the
newspaper, which was for a long time paid for and rarely delivered, I
didn’t find out about these meetings until they were history.
I’ve been told
that these meetings took place over a series of weeks. After all the
community input, the governmental agencies said they would review the
information and then put together their own plan to save the marsh
rabbit. One of the instrumental members who questioned the governmental
agencies reported that the public input will have made no difference and
that these agencies will do as they choose.
For all of you out
there who care, there’s a wonderful book entitled Reverence for Life.
It’s a book based on the writings of Albert Schweitzer and speaks to the
glory and the value of life to all living creatures and our moral
responsibility to preserve life, and not just that of humans. Other
living beings feel, and hunger, and want to survive. It should be
required reading for anyone going into biological sciences or the
helping professions, but obviously is not.
So
for now, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary, the government
employees will continue with the slaughter of our wildlife including
raccoons, iguanas, cats, deer when convenient, hurt birds and anything
else caught in their crosshairs. They’ll be assisted by those
uninformed or apathetic citizens with their pellet guns and traps with
resounding cries of “invasive exotic, kill it”. And our government
agencies will whistle a happy tune claiming that their charge is not the
wildlife, but their habitat. I’m still trying to figure out what the
Forestry Service and the National Parks Service do since F&W is doing
their job instead of caring for and protecting fish and wildlife.
*Writer’s Note:
Since my presence at the community forums was either not wanted or
avoided, I can only speak to what others have recently written or told
me following the conclusion of the meetings. I suspect it’s pretty
accurate based on events of the past. |
|
I want to thank
Winn Dixie for such a positive experience over Thanksgiving, I had
to make several trips and each time the same folks were pleasant and
helpful. We are lucky to have this store. Sure I like Publix, they
definitely have a better bakery, but I spend way too much money there
compared to Winn-Dixie. Right now I have to stretch the dollar like
everyone else and I am getting more bang from my buck at the Winn-Dixie.
So thanks, crew, don’t let a bunch of whiners from big cities get you
down, hang in there. Happy Holidays everyone! |
|

Why would retired racecar driver Michael Schumacher donate 5 to
10 million dollars to Bill Clintons library in Arkansas? |
|
[Life’s a
Breeze in the Florida Keys] I love this time of year and especially
love living in the Keys. I know everyone’s busy getting ready for the
holidays. I just returned from a few days trip to the Midwest to visit
my family. I had forgotten how difficult it is to scrape ice off
windshields. I much prefer using the same tool for removing barnacles
off the bottom of my boat. As I boarded the small prop plane, which is
my favorite leg of the flight, the leg to Key West, my hat, gloves,
scarves, all packed away in my bag not to be used for a long time. When
the plane started it’s decent and popped out of the clouds, I caught a
glimpse of some lights out over the horizon. It took a second to get my
bearings then I recognized the beautiful lights of Marathon. As I study
it further, I see the rotating beacon at the airport confirming my
original thought. I am 50 miles from home. I now am like a child going
for his first airplane ride. My face is glued to the window soaking up
every sight I can find in this beautiful night sky. As the landing gear
starts going down and the plane turns to line up with the runway in Key
West, I know I am home. There is a wonderful feeling getting off an
airplane in Key West. It’s the smell of the ocean, it’s wonderful and
it’s the smell of being home. I love this place! I am writing to you
from my porch, coffee in hand and dogs at my feet. I get goose bumps
just writing this. It is a beautiful day in the Keys, the wind had
picked up and has created mother natures own sound track as the palm
trees do a little sway and the gentle breeze slides through with a
whisk. The sun is out in full force and it looks to be another wonderful
day here in the Conch Republic. |
|

[Pet Food Alert] Thank you to the person who reported the Beneful alert.
I have a new puppy and was feeding her Pedigree Puppy Food and switched
to Beneful because it seemed to have more flavors. I will now switch
back to pedigree. Thanks again. |
|
[Gun
Control] Finally, an unbiased report on gun control from the
mainstream media!
Click here: YouTube - Myth: Gun Control Reduces Crime |
|
 |
|
[Global
Facts] At any given moment: Fact: 79,000,000 people are engaged in
intercourse. Fact: 58,000,000 are kissing. Fact: 37,000,000 are relaxing
after having sex. Fact: 1 lonely person is reading emails…you hang in
there sunshine! |
|

[Mile
Marker 24 Band] New Year’s Eve at Sugarloaf/Key West KOA Resort –
the fun starts at 8:30PM and goes through the New Year! This is a great
place for a family to spend New Year’s Eve together. The KOA pool is
right by the tiki, which by the way has a full bar and is always open to
the public. |
|
[More
Troops] Will someone please tell me why aren't we leaving
too?
U.S. troops headed to southern Iraq as British forces leave | Freep.com
| Detroit Free Press |
Wrapping Presents with a Cat
1.
Clear large space on table for wrapping present.
2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut
door.
3. Open door and remove cat from closet.
4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.
5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.
6. Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors,
labels, etc. . .
7. Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping
strategy to be formed.
8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the
drawer since last visit and collect string.
9. Remove present from bag.
10. Remove cat from bag.
11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.
12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.
13. Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.
14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.
15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the
paper.
16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the
present came in.
17. Place present on paper.
18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't
reach. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.
19.
Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky
tape.
20. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape
from cat with pair of nail scissors.
21. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.
22. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve
ribbon.
23. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.
24. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's
enthusiastic ribbon chase.
25. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.
26. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of
losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right
size for sheet of paper.
27. Put present in box, and tie down with string.
28. Remove string, open box and remove cat.
29. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked
room.
30. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper
and materials.
31. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and
relock.
32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear
cat from outside door)
33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small
area of the toilet, but do your best)
34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt
through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper.
Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last
year as well.
35.
Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make
torn sheet of paper look presentable.
36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with
sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst
areas.
37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on
completing a difficult job.
38. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.
39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.
40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.
41. Go to store and buy a gift bag |
|
Beijing’s coldest
December in 57 years. Severe cold wave headed for Europe. All of
Canada may see first “white Christmas” in nearly 40 years. Record cold,
record snow throughout U.S. 2007 saw the coldest winter in 90 years in
South America. Pakistan has lowest temps in 70 years. Antarctic has
record ice cap growth. Feb 08: record low temperatures killed at least
654 people in Afghanistan this winter. Goshallfishooks, this global
warming is getting downright chilling in its implications. |
|

[Tipsy Rings]
Astronomers call the phenomenon a "ring plane crossing." As Saturn goes
around the sun, it periodically (once every 14 to 15 years) turns its
rings edge-on to Earth. Because the rings are so thin, they can actually
disappear when viewed through a backyard telescope.
Saturn's Crazy Christmas Tilt |
|
The Coral Shores Leadership class would like to ask
you for a favor not only for us, but for the community as a whole. For
the last five years students in this class has given their time, money,
labor, sweat and tears to a plot of land located on the bay side just
past Tavernier Creek Bridge. Though it is more than just a plot of land,
most people don't know what it is or what it stands for.
The plot of land that I referred to is the Children's
Memorial Tree Garden. What it is, is a place where families that lost a
young one can plant a small tree and watch it grow, symbolizing the life
and growth of the person lost. It helps those in a state of mourning to
alleviate some of the pain and hardship caused by the loss. For the last
few years, the Leadership Class through the support of Monroe Youth
Challenge Program, have produced project after project to help clean up,
improve, and secure the Tree Garden's place in this great community.
Now that you have an idea of what it's about, the reason
I'm writing this letter is for a different reason. Someone has done a
terrible thing to this wonderful place. A group of people decided to
decimate a gazebo, built by the construction class through a service
learning grant and supported by many local businesses and community
organizations, and trash the entire area. The gazebo was torn apart,
benches were found flipped and thrown about, alcoholic beverage
containers were strewn about the garden and plants and trees of the
departed where mutilated. Repairs are possible, but sadly to repair the
damage might invite more vandalism.
I'm not asking for charity, just a favor. If you would be
so kind, I would like to request a small article in your website to help
boost the community's knowledge about the Tree Garden. The only reason
for this is that people may feel the need to donate time, money,
equipment, or supplies to the cause. If you choose to help the Tree
Garden by putting an article in your site, and need to learn more,
please notify me, Jordan Swanson through Kay MacKenzie, Leadership Class
teacher. Her e-mail is
kay.mackenzie@keysschools.com |
|

[Crash] Just moments after the plane came to a rest, Mr Wilson
used his mobile phone to send a message to all of his Twitter followers:
"Holy f**king s**t, I was just in a plane crash!”
Mike Wilson updates Twitter from scene of Continental Airlines 737 crash
in Denver | World News | News.com.au |
|
[Yuk!]
Beverly Hills doctor Craig Alan Bittner turned the fat he removed from
patients into biodiesel that fueled his Ford SUV and his girlfriend's
Lincoln Navigator.
Fill 'Er Up With Human Fat - Forbes.com |
[Wounded
Warrior Dive] Basking
in the glow of a love which was ignited by a group of individuals and
business owners, ranging from Islamorada to the Upper Keys, has
internally generated within me a state of mind frequently referred to as
a 'Rocky Mountain High'. Everyday people and local business owners from
our community have been behaving in a very extraordinary manner. During
the week that the Wounded Warriors' Dive took place in the Florida Keys,
an incredible happening occurred. People felt so joyous about the gifts
they were exchanging with these Combat Wounded Veterans, that they loved
themselves and everybody around them, all the time. I've never been a
witness to anything that came near the massive amounts of affection,
respect and appreciation; which were continuously showered upon these
returning 'Wounded Marines and Soldiers'.
The electrifying
source of energy fueling this event was without limit. The unconditional
and generous giving by these citizens and businesses became a common and
contagious virtue. The United States Marines, along with their brothers
and sisters in arms from the United States Army, were visibly propelled
and catapulted into a healed, and magnificently altered state of
consciousness by this outpouring of support.
During the week as
I listened and spoke with these Purple Heart Medal recipients, a
dramatic change took place in them. It was nothing short of miraculous.
I enjoyed this healing as a by-product, simply through my presence at
some of their scheduled events. These veterans and their civilian
counterparts, brought out the great potential which resides within us.
It served as a reminder to a lesson taught me long ago, and oftentimes
forgotten, that there is indeed an inexplicable 'Joy in Giving'. I
re-learned that lesson this week, as I had the privilege to be in the
company of some remarkable individuals, who pledged their honor and
fortunes to those who shed their blood, so that we may maintain a
fitting place to call our 'Home'.
Please allow me to
identify some of those responsible for the 'Wounded Warrior' dive' week.
Kenny Wheeler and Ginger from Ocean Divers North. Bob and Julie Marshall
of Rib Daddy's Steak & Seafood and Marshall's Kountry Kitchen
Restaurants. The Islander Resort in Islamorada housed our visiting
warriors. The VFW and Auxiliary Post 10211, American Legion and
Auxiliary Post 333, the Elk's Lodge BPOE 1872 in Tavernier, and the VFW
and Auxiliary of Homestead all provided magnificent dinners and
fellowship. Sharkey's, Coconuts and the Galley Restaurants were
magnanimous in their care for our guests. President of our Chamber of
Commerce Jackie Harder and Dr. Sally Bauer from the History of Diving
Museum graciously met the needs of these soon to be divers. Dean
Vitalies' company provided turbo thrusters so that they could navigate
safely underwater.
Deena and Peter
Hoagland of Island Dolphin Care offered a therapeutic swim with their
Dolphins to these traumatized men and women. Shannon and Gina Shockley
had a cookout at their home for them. Coach Jimmy Johnson and his wife;
and Claudia Moriarty were an enormous inspiration to everyone.
David Ball of
"The Reporter" newspaper, brilliantly memorialized the diving experience
of these veterans with an awe-inspiring video published on-line by that
papers' editor, David Goodhue. The respectful and delicately worded,
yet probing, interviews initiated by Mr. Ball were nothing short of
spectacular. It was clearly evident that the Captain of the boat, crew,
dive and safety instructors were incredibly competent and angelic.
There are always
many unsung heroes, although critical in successfully accomplishing the
mission, they go unrecognized. Please accept my apology, for perhaps
you will remain known only unto God, and those that you served. |
|

The new firearms instructor's first day. |
|
[Shop local] I don’t think so. Today in CVS on BPK I asked a
sales clerk (male) where to find the item I was looking for. He couldn’t
understand me. I thought maybe he couldn’t hear. He couldn’t speak
English. I went home, ordered it online, 30% less, no tax, no shipping.
Computers understand English! |
|
[Economic Summit] What to me was a most interesting division
developed at Mayor Morgan McPherson’s economic summit a couple of weeks
ago. I saw this division in the speakers’ presentations. I saw it in the
discussion at the table where I sat with Mayor McPherson, the market
research director of the TDC, the Commander of the Navy Base, an
Assistant Key West City manager, and two Key West business women. And I
saw it in the reports from the individual tables. The division, quite
simply, is that many people understand that Key West’s economy is
tourist driven, and many people do not understand this, or want it to be
that way.
One speaker explained a survey that had been sent to
businesses which had applied for business licenses in Key West. He said
thirty-five percent of the businesses that responded said their revenues
came from tourism. Many people in the room assumed this meant sixty-five
percent of the businesses’ revenues came from non-tourism. So I raised
my hand and when I got the nod I said the thirty-five percent of the
businesses which rely on tourism probably make up seventy percent of all
business revenues. The speaker said that probably was true, and even the
businesses that did not report reliance on tourism depended on it,
because many of those businesses’ customers depended on tourist dollars.
When I made the same point at our table discussion, the Assistant
City Manager said Key West’s economy definitely is tourist driven. The
Navy Commander seemed to agree. The Assistant City Manager and the Navy
Commander did not argue with me when I mentioned the survey that had
been done (by Lou Harris) last year, in which the number one reason
given by people surveyed for coming to Key West was the night life. The
Assistant City Manager and the Navy Commander did not take issue with my
saying Key West is known as a place that is very different, where people
can come and let their hair down and be who they really are, which they
cannot do where they live. Key West is a zoo, I said. We need to keep
hammering that home. The Assistant City Manager and the Navy Commander
did not disagree. Mayor McPherson and three women did disagree.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
|
|
[Why
We Need Sewers] Very near to me, on my canal, there is a single
family size house with appropriately sized standard septic system that
is currently being short term rented for the holidays to about 5
carloads of adults and children. What chance does the septic system
have against all that? The same goes for illegal downstairs enclosures.
These septic systems weren’t designed for crowds. |
|
[Chum Price]
E Fish has once again raised their chum prices. Now its a five block
case for $25. Can anyone tell me where to get the old ten block case at
a reasonable price? |
|
[Least
Competent Terrorist] British Muslim convert Nicky Reilly, 22,
pleaded guilty in October in Exeter, England, to attempted terrorism for
detonating a homemade nail bomb in the Giraffe restaurant. The plan
failed when Reilly triggered the bomb in the men's room, intending to
take it into the dining area, but then could not unlock the men's room
door to get out. His lawyer called him perhaps the "least cunning"
person ever to be charged with terrorism in Britain. |
|
[Complaining
About County Employees] Someone has to do the job. I’m sorry you
did not get the job. I did and it’s the best thing I ever did. |
|

We are surely blessed.
Video |
|
Saudi court rejects divorce plea from EIGHT-year-old girl married to
58-year-old man | Mail Online |

Pete the purple squirrel leaves animal lovers baffled | Mail Online |
|
[Chain Stores]
Hello... wake up and open your eyes. We already have chain stores on
BPK. Think Winn Dixie, Ace, and any number of franchise stores. |
|
 |
|
[Free Sex] I want to thank my boyfriend for cheating and thank
Craig for creating Craig's List. My sex life has gotten 100% better
since I discovered both. In this politically correct world girls can go
out to get laid if guys can. I have found everything my boyfriend won't
give me all on one website. |
|
 |
|
Are you people all sheep and just follow blindly? Nice tattoos.
Not! Baaaaa. |
|

Youth loses face
in explosive sex act.
It is suspected that alcohol may have been involved.
http://www.phuketgazette.net/queernews/index.asp?ref=200732011239 |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am Include Coconut
Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Tuesday
December 23, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Monday December
22, 2008 |
|
A
union supporting poster made a couple of glaring errors in
his support of unionized policing. He said “don’t join the union, if
you don’t want to join, you don’t have to.” In the legal sense, he’s
right, but he doesn’t tell you that whatever collective bargaining
entity might be present is, in fact, the single biggest and most
important social/professional presence in any law enforcement shop.
If a newbie wants friends and contacts he has to join. If a newbie
fails to join he/she is often ostracized, and cold shouldered. In
police work that can be dangerous.
I have had many scores of friends and acquaintances in law
enforcement, both union and non union. Far too often the union
types spend nearly as much energy in disputes with their management
and in increasing their own power as they do in keeping our streets
safe. It is common for unionized cops to have more allegiance to
their union than to their employing agency and the people that they
swore to serve. Far too often an “us versus them” them mentality is
encouraged by the union, with the “us” being the union members, and
the “them” being everybody else.
I spent about a year as a patrolman. For a couple of years
I was an FOP union, then a PBA member. I quit them because I
observed union leaders fomenting serious conflict in the workplace
that was antithetical to professional law enforcement. The balance
of my career was spent as a detective. The agencies that I worked
for did not permit “take home” cars. Detectives and uniformed
personnel got to and from work on their own nickel, if their duties
required, they took a car from the motor pool. Only “call out duty”
personnel were required to take home police vehicles, and then only
during the duty assignment--typically a month. Certain personnel
used their own private vehicles on the job, kept daily logs, and
were reimbursed for expenses. It is a good system, it works, and it
is fair.
There was no strong union presence in the agencies where I
worked. Nonetheless my pension system is alive, well, and not
threatened by our current fiscal situation. My pension was totally
employer provided, it provides 25 year retirement, and fine
benefits. We even have a cost of living adjustment annually. The
unions provided this proudly retired cop with absolutely nothing, I
am proud of my employer and my career. I earned what I have. |

[Pet Food Alert] I work for a local veterinarian and
routinely check stool samples of pets for worms and parasites.
There have been multiple cases where digested mites and mite eggs
have been found during the microscopic fecal exam. In every single
case it has been a dog that is being fed Purina Beneful (no
particular flavor). The mites are not necessarily harmful, but
disgusting nonetheless. We have seen this 20-30 times in the last 6
months. I thought many of you would like to know. We are
contacting Purina about this as well. |
|
[Downstairs
Enclosures]
What ever
happened to our rights? About 15 years ago I became disabled and had
to retire. We bought a home here in the Keys, that had a great
ground floor apartment. This was good for me since I can't go up
stairs, and we could rent the upstairs and live in the downstairs
apartment. We recently went to the Monroe County Building
Department to get a permit for a little project. They informed me
that the ground floor apartment is not legal now and if we get a
permit or have a flood insurance inspection, we could be forced to
remove our apartment. Does anyone know if there is any organized
effort to fight this taking of property? |
|

[Chain Stores] Islamorada has lost it’s fight to keep chain
stores out of that city. Big Pine Key is next. The end is near. |
|
[Trailer
Accident] Does anybody have any information about the boat that
fell off its trailer at the intersection of Key Deer and US1? |
|
[Bridge
to Nowhere] The City of Marathon has decided to remove the
unsafe Boot Key draw bridge leaving that island stranded from
vehicular traffic. It was the only practical thing for them to do.
Since there are no houses there the best thing would be if the City
could buy the island and the few fishing docks and the radio station
and turn it into a nature park. |
|
[$80,000 Day
Off] Let me get this straight, the county employees were upset
because of the cut backs saying that they're forcing people to do
more work for the same money thus putting county employees behind
their work schedules? So to fix the problem the county figured it
was wise to give everybody an extra day off with pay? Isn’t that
what vacation pay is for? Just ignore the county commissioner's
whining about money because they can never figure out how to throw
enough money away while poor mouthing the entire time. Are they
thinking, “Let’s give people more paid time off so they don’t have
to use their own vacation time.”
Great idea,
geniuses. But like the county boss said, "They wouldn’t be doing
much anyhow." How comforting. |
|
The
Four Candles
The Four Candles burned slowly.
Their Ambiance was so soft you
could hear them speak...
The first candle said, "I Am Peace, but these days, nobody
wants to keep me lit." Then Peace's flame slowly
diminishes and goes out completely.
The second candle says, "I Am Faith, but these days, I am
no longer indispensable." Then Faith's flame slowly
diminishes and goes out completely.
Sadly the third candle spoke, "I Am Love and I haven't the
strength to stay lit any longer."
"People put me aside and don't understand my
importance. They even forget to love those who are
nearest to them." And waiting no longer, Love goes out
completely.
Suddenly...A child enters the room and sees the three
candles no longer burning. The child begins to cry, "Why
are you not burning? You are supposed to stay lit until the
end."
Then the Fourth Candle spoke gently to the little boy,
"Don't be afraid, for I Am Hope, and while I still burn, we
can re-light the other candles."
With Shining eyes the child took the Candle of Hope and
lit the other three candles.
Never let the Flame of Hope go out of your life.
With Hope, no matter how bad things look and
are...Peace, Faith and Love can Shine Brightly in our lives. |
|
[Time and a
Half] All Fire Rescue personnel are getting an extra 8 or 16
hours pay for the day after Christmas. Sheriffs are also getting
extra, but I’m not sure of specific details yet. |
|

We all had a blackout at the tiki bar Friday night. It was
kind of cool, you could see all the stars! |
|
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things
that matter. ~Martin Luther King, Jr. |
|

[Sea Plane Landing] Why it's not a good idea to leave "spiked
eggnog" for Santa.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkUceluIIvg |
|
[Sarah
Palin]
Special to yesterday’s poster about Sarah Palin: You folks
sure are scared of Miss Sarah, I don’t blame you. I checked your
sources and learned even more from them. It turns out that Yo Mama
and Bristol’s boyfriend’s mother’s boyfriend’s sister are cousins
who got arrested together for turning tricks in a logging camp in
the Yukon. Your source has posted that you are the product of a
midwinter orgy (because of Yo Moma’s looks, it must have been a very
dark winter night or it never could have happened even with a drunk
Inuit) wherein a group of drunken Inuits retained the services of a
traveling group of Yo Mama’s Berkeley “sister womens” (it was
rumored that many actually were brothers) who were demonstrating
safe sex practices, eco narcissism, caribou masturbation, and
delivering “piece” throughout Nunavit. The entire project, funded by
Madonna and Al Gore, was cast into disarray and disrepute by Yo Moma
because when she learned of her “delicate” condition, she refused
the sacrament of abortion. Pity. |

I thought I’d drop a picture of the kids. We are up here in
Loxahatchee, Florida and I finally have a job as a fire fighter.
~Mike |
|
[Jim Bob from Arkansas and his 18 kids] I, for one, hope that
yesterdays poster that commented on this, has never bred and never
will. Society's gene pool would be so much better off without such
negative people. |
|
[Peace]
The "we hate war feel-gooders" just raised money by holding a
Vietnam veteran's fundraiser on Big Pine Key that was given to the
Disabled American Veteran's Post in Marathon. We also collected
boxes of canned goods and delivered them to St. Peter's food pantry.
We also connected 200 people in a human peace sign during a 9/11
remembrance ceremony. And we continue to support our troops in
prayers daily. Understandably we do this because we are
Americans! Support the troops. Thank you for our freedoms. |
|
[Politics 101] A conservative lean does not make a person a
Republican nor does a liberal lean guarantee a Democrat.
It's painfully obvious that the leadership of both the Dems and
Repubs have steered them into something quite different than the
founding fathers envisioned for our country. And it’s a damn
shame. |
|

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and Happy New Year from Key
West the USA land down under! |
|
[Happiness] One thing I know: The only ones among you who
will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to
serve. ~Albert Schweitzer |
[18
Children] Please check out the web site for the Duggar family
with their now 18th child. You are in for quite a surprise. They are
not on welfare, built their own home, educate their children, and
are a wonderful God loving family. I especially love their family
guidelines:
Always use soft words, even when you don't feel well.
Always display kind actions and joyful attitudes, even if you have
been mistreated. Have the right response by quickly forgiving others
in your heart even before they ask.
Always be enthusiastic and look for opportunities to praise others'
character.
Always deflect praise and be grateful to God and others for the ways
they have benefited your life.
Always use manners and be respectful of others and their belongings.
Always do what is right, even when others may not, or when no one is
looking.
Thank God for how He made you, for what He has given you and
everything He allows you to go through. (Romans 8:28) Don't mock or
put others down. Develop compassion and pray for others.
Never argue, complain, or blame. Quickly admit when you have done
wrong and ask for forgiveness (even if you were only 10% at fault).
Don't wait till you're caught. Be sure your sins will find you out.
He who covers his sin will not prosper, but he that confesses and
forsakes it shall find mercy.
Have a tough accountability/prayer partner to daily share your heart
with and to keep you in line (your parents, spouse). The power of
sin is in secrecy.
Be attentive and look for ways to serve others with sincere motives
and no thought of self-gain.
Think pure thoughts (Philippians 4:8, Romans 13:14).
Always give a good report of others. Don't gossip! Never tale-bear
unless physical harm will come to someone. (Use Matthew 18.) Never
raise a hand to hit.
Never raise a foot to kick.
Never raise an object to throw.
Never raise a voice to yell.
Never raise an eye to scowl.
Use one toy/activity at a time. Share!
Do your best to keep your surroundings neat, clean and organized.
Never let the sun go down on your wrath. (Don't go to bed angry or
guilty) Amendment J.O.Y. - Put Jesus first, Others second, Yourself
last.
Perhaps we could learn from a few of these guidelines! |
|

This is why men don't design Christmas
wrapping paper. |
|
[Unhappy] There is a lot of scum down here and thankfully it
is deposited in Big Pine and Stock Island. You people shouldn't
breed with your cousins. |
|
The
editorial in yesterday’s Key West Citizen lamented Mayor
Morgan McPherson’s failure at yet another of his economic summits to
come up with concrete ideas for turning the Key West economy around,
and at the same time blew off increasing tourism as a way to do it.
For some time now I have felt that the Citizen needs to require its
editorial staff to put their names on what they write in the “we,”
when only one of them writes it with the help of the Citizen’s
Editor, Tom Tuell. I feel the people of Key West and the Keys are
entitled to know precisely whose views they really are reading in a
Citizen editorial. The Citizen requires letters to the editor
to show who wrote them, and what’s sauce for the hen is sauce for
the rooster.
At a recent Key West City Commission meeting, Mayor McPherson
remarked that he did not know what was the best way for the City to
developed the Truman Waterfront land given to it by the Navy, and he
did not think the retirement/convalescent home the City’s voters had
said last year should be built on maybe seven acres of that land was
going to pan out, because the people who came up with that idea,
which the Citizen fully backed, have not been able to find a
developer to build the retirement/convalescent center, even through
the City was going to give
the land to whoever built it. The Citizen, in its economic
brilliance, overlooked the provision in the conveyance to the City
from the Navy, which required that the City use the land to make
money for the City. The Citizen, in its legal brilliance,
encouraged the City to breach the terms of the conveyance. The
Citizen, in its entrepreneurial brilliance, offered no way for
the City to make money of that maybe seven acres, nor off any of the
fifty-plus acres the Navy gave to the City, so it could make money
off it.
I take no
satisfaction in saying that the Citizen sometimes strikes me
as a gadfly publication. And I take no satisfaction in saying,
while I applaud Mayor McPherson for saying he doesn’t know what is
the best way to develop the Truman Waterfront land and he is now
open to suggestions, I wonder what is he doing being our mayor, if
he is unable to come up with any suggestions himself that will make
the City money? I can say the same thing for the entire Key West
City Commission, which still seems willing to give over the maybe
seven acres of that land to a developer, for free, to build a
retirement/convalescent home, which will make the City nothing. It
gives me no great pleasure to say this makes me want to pull my hair
out by the roots and scream! As did I want to pull out my hair and
scream at the Mayor’s economic conference, when sitting at his table
with a representative from the Tourist Development Council, who
spoke at the meeting, they denied that last year a public poll was
done (by Lou Harris), which revealed from the people surveyed that
the number one reason given for coming to Key West was its night
life.
Okay,
I suppose I need to step up to the plate and put my money where my
mouth is. So here’s what I would do, if I had the say so with the
fifty-plus acres of Truman Waterfront the Navy gave to the City,
less the maybe six acres of it the City already dedicated to Bahama
Village, which, the way it has been going so far, does not seem to
be likely to be particularly remunerative for the city, although it
may end up helping that part of the city be restored, which is a far
better outcome than giving the land to a private developer to build
a retirement/convalescent home, on which the developer will make
money and the City will get zip.
First, I will hire out a bulldozer to erase in broad daylight, so
folks can get good pictures of it, the Southard Street guardhouse
into Truman Annex on Southard Street. Under the conveyance of the
Truman Annex property from the Navy to Pritham Singh many years ago,
Southard Street was to remain an open road to the land the Navy had
retained on the Truman Waterfront and the way into the navy housing
to the south of that land. After whacking the guardhouse on
Southard, I will lumber the bulldozer through Truman Annex and
bulldoze the gates already erected that block the public access into
Truman Annex on Caroline and Front Streets. I will do this one hour
after holding a press conference and saying all three of those
streets were supposed to remain open, and the rich folks who live in
Truman Annex and want the city to provide it fire and police
protection, sewerage collection and treatment, street cleaning and
garbage pick up, but then don’t want the rest of us in there after
dark. Well, they are just going to have to become part of our city,
whether they want to become part of it or not. If they can walk,
bike, moped and drive their cars around Key West anytime they want
to, then the rest of us can do the same in Truman Annex.
No doubt, all of this will cause a great commotion in the local,
national and international news media, for a city known around the
world for being one-of-a-kind different-squared. Gosh, maybe the
Citizen will make some mention of the Mayor of Key West, in pirate
attire, hopping up on a bulldozer with the operator and tearing the
rich folks a new one, all the while loudly daring through a bullhorn
any state court judge to throw him in jail for enforcing an
agreement the state courts have yet to enforce. Daring the judge to
do it, under threat of the judge being harpooned to death in the
media.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
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Monday December
22, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Sunday
December 21, 2008 |
Winter
Solstice is today. The winter solstice occurs at the instant when the
Sun's position in the sky is at its greatest angular distance on the other
side of the equatorial plane from the observers' hemisphere. The pagan
tradition is also known as Yule and is one of the oldest winter
celebrations. |
|
[Bird Lady] The
road to hell is paved with good bird rescue intentions! I applauded Maya for
her untiring efforts to help our injured avian friends. However birds are
unclean-parasite-transporting-ammoniated-fecal-flying-machines. Maya has
outgrown her current facility which, by the way, is in a residential
area. This proximity to humans makes it unwise to try and treat a large
number of birds there. A better alternative would be to have a larger,
better designed facility expressly for treating injured avians. How this can
happen is any bodies guess. Maybe her supporters and detractors alike could
get together and form a fund raiser to help establish such a facility. Maybe
some well heeled, well-wishing bird lover would donate land and money to
this endeavor. Who knows?
I do know one thing, the first time some human contracts a disease emanating
from her facility, the whole place will be closed down for good, never to
reopen. Maya should be grateful the forces that be did not close her down
immediately, but continue to allow her to pursue her rescue endeavors. All
you folks that are so damned concerned get off your wallets and help the
poor woman continue her good work. |
|

[Daylight Savings] Why Saskatchewan doesn't do daylight savings
time. Saskatchewan listened to a wise old Indian. When told the reason for
daylight saving time the old Indian said, "Only a white man would believe
that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and sew it to the bottom
of a blanket and have a longer blanket." |
|
To the person who said "give the county workers a break." Did you know it
costs over $80,000 to give the county employees that day off? |
|

[Snowbirds] In the late 70s I worked at the entrance to Key West for
a couple of years and for two years in a row the tourist flood arrived on
December 22. The day before, traffic was normal, but on the 22 it was a
constant stream that lasted almost until Easter. As Big Pine braces itself
for this year’s flood, soon to come any day now, we have to remember that
these much needed tourists and snowbirds are our life’s blood. Most of us
can’t survive without their much welcomed dollars (If only they’d learn to
drive). |
|
[Jim Bob from Arkansas and his
18 kids] That’s such a typical name for some redneck hillbilly from
Arkansas who just had his 18th child. They’ll probably name it
Billy Bob or Thelma Sue if it’s a girl. That guy should keep that thing in
his pocket. Who wants to bet that they’re not getting some sort of public
assistance from the government? I find those people disgusting. They’re not
people, they’re breeding stock. |
|

Lost Cat in
Cudjoe Key. The love of my life is
missing! Little grey shorthaired male cat last seen Wednesday night
sashaying in Cudjoe with break-a-way red collar. He likes to kiss and has a
bump in the end of his little grey tail. Totally heartbroken family prays
for his return.
Classified Ads > Lost & Found |
|
The “We
Hate War” feel-gooders were out to play again today at U.S. 1 and Key
Deer. They were having a fine old time, socializing and congratulating one
another about the righteousness of their cause and the nobility of their
bravery while standing there waving signs at passersby. I wonder if even one
of them gave any thought to the fact that it was war and sordid conflict
that have made it possible for them to demonstrate, wave their signs, and
feel smug in their demonstration of outraged morality.
Think about just a few of
our wars for their freedom. The Revolutionary War, The War of 1812, The
Civil War, World War 1, World War 2, and Korea. I’ve purposefully left off a
whole host of conflicts wherein Americans died protecting our freedoms and
the freedoms of other nations. Had our leaders not had the courage to go to
war to protect our freedoms, those protesters would not have the right to
protest. One must wonder how a “Saddam is a Beast” sign waving protester
would have fared in 2001 Baghdad. Never forget that war is horrific, but
there are far too many occasions wherein it is the only option if we wish to
retain our freedoms. |
|

I watched HBO’s House of Saddam last night and was fascinated with
his ruthlessness and megalomaniacal attitude. His son, Oday(?) was an
animal. I’ll be watching it for sure next Sunday. The movie won’t change my
stance on our phony invasion of Iraq, but it does show the inner workings of
his rule.
The movie made me more
aware of how oil was the reason we invaded Iraq. Mugabe is a far worse
dictator than Saddam ever was, but Zimbabwe doesn’t have oil so we just let
him continue his terror. If Zimbabwe had oil we would have brought them
“democracy” too. Don’t kid yourselves. |
|
[Unions make it hard for
good cops to be good cops] Then don’t join the union. You don’t have to. Let
me guess, the union forced you to have a take home vehicle and made you let
them pay for your gas and insurance. I have a feeling that if you wanted to,
they would have let you put your own gas money in to run back and forth from
work. Did you?
As for the automakers the entire cost of pensions and labor only make up 10%
of the carmakers expenses. I think there is better ways to cut costs. Such
as why do numerous members of the board of directors lease private planes?
It’s easy to fool some of the people some of time. You’ve been fooled. You
enjoyed the union benefits and I’m sure you took full advantage of every
one. Guess you found your wisdom after you retired. How telling.
|
|

Seed bank preserves Earth's flora.
Seed bank preserves Earth's flora - Yahoo! News Photos |
|
Sarah Palin has been
hanging out with drug dealers in Wasilla. The other grandmother of daughter
Bristol's pending illegitimate kid got busted on six drug counts including
the manufacture of methamphetamine. When are Bristol and the father going
to get married? Never, is my guess. Sorry, neocon religious nuts, the
jokes on you. |
|
Hey,
bird lady, you have the right to bear arms. Anyone entering my property
and telling me to kill all the animals that I dedicate my life to saving and
protecting, would first have to take a bullet. You do an unimaginable
service for these animals and its sad that after saving them from their
natural predators you end up loosing them to the worst predators on the
planet. Don't give up the fight for all of these magnificent animals. Nobody
else fights for them! |
|
Yesterday the global warming true
believer who suggested that the current frigid weather is a natural
phenomenon of winter also provided us with even more proof that he embraces
global warming as a religion. That poster said that those who do not believe
are “beyond redemption”; i.e. we “unbelievers” are not worthy of being freed
from the sin of non-belief in man made global warming. That poster
apparently is ignorant of the fact that we have not yet arrived in winter;
the winter solstice will occur today. Further, this year’s record frigid
weather actually arrived very early, at the end of October. That poster
refuses to accept the fact that annual global temps are actually on the
decrease, and that the recent decrease has wiped out the temp gains of the
last century. A fascinating facet of the hot earth crowd is that some of
them claim that record cold events actually provide proof of warming. Look
for those folks to being tunneling toward the moon. |
|
Governor
Rod
Blagojevich 'nude painting'
http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/arts/chi-talk-ale-artdec19,0,5136319.story |
|
[Automatic Money] Following
is a shining example of defining arrogance: With the ongoing
financial turmoil in our country, congressional salaries just received a
pay increase of $4,700 for next year. The average U.S. lawmaker currently
makes $169,300 this year. Speaker of the House Pelosi pulls
down $217,400. An honest effort was made by Rep. Harry Mitchell, a
first-term Democrat from Arizona, who sponsored legislation earlier this
year that would have prevented the automatic pay adjustments from
kicking in for members next year. But, of course, the bill failed to make
it out of committee. Congress has set it up now so that it’s wired - you
actually have to undo the pay raise rather than vote for a pay raise. This,
with their automatic health plan for life after only 'serving' one year sums
up what we have elected to office. As voters, we keep these people in
power. Until the American people take some time to research the people they
put there instead of believing all the political rhetoric, we deserve what
we get. Please, wake up America. |
|
Where
is the Wild Bird Rescue? I’d like to go by and give her some money.
How do I get there? |
|
[More people who put their
brains on "standby" while using satellite navigation systems] In July,
a truck driver hauling a 32-ton load from Turkey through several European
countries headed for Gibraltar in the southern tip of Spain missed his
destination by about 1,600 miles, winding up at a dead end in Skegness,
England. (Gibraltar is a British territory, though nowhere near the British
Isles, but both places have a "Coral Road," which was the destination.) |
|

Clydesdale horse snowball fight.
Video |
|
[Inventors of Air Conditioning] The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell,
Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile
air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97
degrees. The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and
sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there
with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric
starter. Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused
and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car. They
persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on
the air conditioner, and cooled the car down immediately. The old man got
very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3
million for the patent. The brothers refused, saying they would settle for
$2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The
Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was
installed.
Now old man Ford was more
than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put
the Goldberg's name on two million Fords. They haggled back and forth for
about two hours, and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first
names would be shown. And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show
Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls. |
|

Adam Sandler original Chanukah Song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrd9p47MPHg |
|
[Bird Lady] Someone said all her
trouble comes from one code enforcement person. That is what we hire them
for—to enforce the codes in residential areas and commercial areas. If she’s
running a facility in a residential neighborhood that is impacting the
neighborhood she should be brought into compliance. Just because she’s doing
a good deed and has a big heart doesn’t get her a free pass. How would you
like to live with that smell wafting into your bedroom? How would you like
to try to sell your house if you lived next door? That's why we have code
enforcement--so we're all playing on the same field. |
|
[Rhode
Island Reds] While walking through the shopping center parking lot on
Big Pine Key the other day. I had a large flock of chickens run by when I
overheard a couple of middle age ladies say, there's a couple of the best
looking cocks they have seen in quite a while! |
|
[They’re Back] I don't know about UFOs, but last night I saw a UFJW
(Unbearable Fat Jersey Woman) at the local watering hole. |
|

Those daring young men and their flying machines.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=De5AsC5ULQs |
|
[Bird Rescue] I applaud people who
look out for the less fortunate, be it people or animals. But sometimes it
gets out of hand. Just about every other neighborhood has a cat lady. It’s
usually a single old lady who takes in stray cats. I’ve never seen an old
man do it. If you’ve ever gone into these houses the stench will make you
gag. There will be cats everywhere, on everything. The wood floors and
carpeting will be stained. When you have that many cats it takes more than
one person to care for them in order to keep the smell clean. The same thing
is probably true for the bird lady’s place on Big Pine (although I’ve never
been there). A lot of any creature in a small area is bound to stink unless
they have a lot of help or state of the art facilities for their care.
|
|

[Boyfriend looking to sew
his oats] Is that like stringing
popcorn, only much smaller? |
|
Wonderful
Elevator.
Video |
|

Test your knowledge of world geography alone or against another online
player.
Geosense: an online world geography game |
|
[Here
, Fido. Nice doggy] The dogs were described as a 4-year-old, 107-pound
male, part pit bull and part mastiff, and a 52-pound female pit bull, about
6.
Rubidoux man mauled to death by own dogs | Inland News | PE.com | Southern
California News | News for Inland Southern Californi |
|

The flip side of war. One human family or the other side of the coin? |
|
Roses are reddish/Violets are
bluish/If it weren't for Christmas/We'd all be Jewish. ~Benny Hill |
|

[For Rent] A while back, almost every business had a help wanted sign in
their window. These signs have now been replaced with for rent or for lease
signs. |
|
[Raise in Pay]
Are you saying that no Republicans voted for the congressional pay raise?
You are awfully naive buddy. Why don't you look up who introduced the bill
and and then see who voted for it. |

‘Twas The Night Before Regulation.
Merry Christmas from Santa Bush |
|
Please
visit Sloan Bashinsky's website for today's FlaKeys Drivel.
Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel |
|
[Christmas
Truck] I wanted to wish everyone on Big
Pine a very merry Christmas. Sorry I wasn’t there for the Christmas parade.
I didn’t have the cash for fuel. ~Mike and the kids aka The Christmas Truck.
 |
|
Can the bird lady team up with the
animal shelter on Industrial Rd? They have all that room in front of the
house and no neighbors to complain and it’s properly zoned. |
|

[Pirates] Desperate Chinese sailors fight off Somali pirates with
beer bottles and Molotov cocktails.
Pictured: Desperate Chinese sailors fight off Somali pirates with beer
bottles and Molotov cocktails | Mail Online |
|

Finally! The real true affordable housing for the keys at $40k per unit.
http://jaam.powweb.com/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=1 |
|
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Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
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Sunday
December 21, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Saturday
December 20, 2008 |
|

[Florida Keys Wildlife Rescue] I take exception to the poster who
wrote that the pelicans do not receive humane care at FKWR. Have you ever
observed pelicans or other birds in the wild? They crowd together! At FKWR,
there is plenty of room for the individual who wants to wander away from the
crowd. The dirt floor is, in fact, sand which allows water to seep through,
thereby eliminating standing water in the worst of storms. As well, Maya
spends much time sifting that same sand to remove debris, keeping it as
clean as is humanly possible.
Wildlife Rescue’s "downfall" is that they do not want to kill every wild
bird or animal which cannot be released - or worse yet, kill perfectly
healthy exotic birds, such as has been done at another bird rescue facility.
They, as do I, feel that every animal, including the human animal, is one of
God’s creations, and as such, should be helped, not killed. Government
officials, however, with their supposed wisdom, do not feel the same way.
However, those same government officials are now spending time rectifying
the errors of their predecessors while, unfortunately, making new errors.
With government it’s a vicious circle - never ending - and never right.
Maya has searched for a better place for her facility, but time and again
has been let down by people offering to help her. A benefit for FKWR? They
would be thrilled.
With respect to the feds giving FKWR so much grief. It’s not the feds, it’s
one particular person in Code Enforcement, a power-hungry person who has a
personal agenda. This person is responsible for other authorities being
called in. The person even wanted Animal Control to cite FKWR for animal
cruelty--an unfounded accusation. If that’s not personal, I don’t know what
is.
Through the years that FKWR has operated they have assisted with disabled
wildlife through numerous people and organizations, including the Monroe
County Sheriff’s Department who have called or come by in the middle of the
night when no other rescue organizations answer their phones or man their
facilities. They have provided a tremendous service to the County by showing
residents and visitors alike that someone does care to help injured wildlife
found sitting by a road or in other places where they are visible to
concerned citizens. They have also helped to clean up trash in the Keys,
constructed and erected the first monofilament recycling bin for
proper disposal of fishing line in the entire Florida Keys, convinced AT&T
to clear their wires of fishing line which traps birds, and conducted
educational programs and field trips to teach our young people to respect
wildlife and the environment. They have supported the community.
Now is the time for the
community to support them. Do a benefit, inundate George Neugent and the
other Commissioners with letters, donate funds (even a small amount helps),
get a petition going. Let the County know that you think services provided
by FKWR are important to the Lower Keys communities, because they are.
Without FKWR, expect to
see more disabled wildlife with no one to help them. Expect to see more
trash in the environment. Expect to see more uneducated, therefore more
unconcerned children and adults. Expect to see degradation in the quality of
life in the lower Keys. |
|
[Sammy
Mays] In reference to the County Commissioners naming former tabloid
reporter Sammie Mays Honorary Mayor of the Florida Keys. At the coronation
celebration Mayor Gonzo Mays vowed to “give away as many political favors as
humanly possible and to except all bribes no matter how insignificant.”
Finally an honest politician! |
|
[Unions] The poster who said
yesterday that it’s wrong to disgrace the Democrats by tying them to union
support is goofy. How is it possible that the Democrats could be any more
disgraced by the fact that unions are almost universally Democrat? Shoot,
Democrats like Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, Al Sharpton, William Jefferson, and
R. Blagojevich are pretty much all the disgrace anyone could ask for. On the
other hand, isn’t it the union’s arm-twisting that has ratcheted up labor
costs on cars so that U.S. Big Three can’t make a profit and might go tits
up? What about this new union push to steal the right of the secret ballot
from workers in unionizing drives? And what about unionized cops and other
unionized public employees?
Yesterday’s poster on this topic said that
unless you’re a Democrat don’t bother to call the police for help. That
type of thug comment sure sounds “union” to me and feeds into the lousy
image a lot of folks have about cops in general. I was a cop for nearly 40
years. I know that like all professions there are stars and there are slugs.
The slugs always cried for the union to cover their butts when they screwed
up. The union almost never turned them down no matter what the offense. As
a result a lot of slugs got away with a lot of crap. Union work rules
universally slowed down good police work and made it damned hard to
discipline screw offs. Unions make it harder for good cops to be good cops
and easier for bad cops to get worse. |

Melly Chwistmash to you. |
|
[This
Site Doesn't Suck] To the poster who said that this site sucks, I say,
if you we're a member of any club or group you should always strive to make
it better. This site can only be as good as it's players. |
|

[Alcohol Study] A recent study found that the average American walks
about 900 miles in a year. Another study found Americans drink, on average,
22 gallons of alcohol per year. That means, on average, Americans get about
41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud to be American. |
|
[Global
warming] Those that site the event of winter and it’s accompanying
storms as proof that there is no global worming don’t understand the concept
and are beyond redemption. |
|

[Bird Lady] No question, Maya Totman is devoted to birds and does
wonderful things for them. I am in awe of her devotion and spunk. I've seen
her go in the water (in winter) to save a pelican, brrrrrr! I'm not sure
but I thought I saw her chewing food for baby woodpeckers spitting it out
for them. Her operation needs to move to a more suitable and larger
location. A residential property is not the place for an operation that
large. Some days the stench of all that bird shit is overpowering as you
drive by. |
|
[Raise in Pay] Are all of you
Democrats feeling warm, fuzzy, and victorious after your recent win of the
White House and gains in Congress? Now it’s time to add a little pride to
your emotions. Congratulations! Your Democrat legislators voted themselves a
dandy raise, their new salary in 2009 will be $174,000 per annum. Pretty
good huh? Do you suppose it’s a merit raise for the wonderful job that they
did in overseeing the banking/credit industry, and saving us from fiscal
melt down? Maybe it was for the sterling job they did in getting credit
flowing again, or for “saving” the auto industry, or maybe it was for, well,
just because. Or maybe it was in gratitude for how good the housing market
is! By the way, how much of a raise did you get this year? Thanks
Democrats, you guys are the gift that keeps on giving, oops sorry,
make that taking! |
|
[Lady,
it's a womb, not a clown car] An Arkansas woman has given birth to her
18th child. Michelle Duggar delivered the baby girl by Caesarean section
Thursday at Mercy Medical Center in Rogers. The baby, named Jordyn-Grace
Makiya Duggar, weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20 inches long. "The
ultimate Christmas gift from God," said Jim Bob Duggar, the father of the 18
children. "She's just absolutely beautiful, like her mom and her sisters."
The Duggars now have 10 sons and eight daughters. "We both would love to
have more," he said.
The cable network TLC broadcasts a weekly show about
the Duggars, called "17 Kids and Counting." Chris Finnegan of TLC — which
handles public relations for the Duggar family — said the show's name would
be updated to account for the latest addition to the family. He said TLC
also will air a show Monday on the baby's delivery. Jim Bob Duggar is 43, a
year older than his wife. Their oldest child, Joshua, is 20. The other
Duggar children, in between Joshua and Jordyn-Grace, are Jana, 18;
John-David, 18; Jill, 17; Jessa, 16; Jinger, 14; Joseph, 13; Josiah, 12;
Joy-Anna, 11; Jeremiah, 9; Jedidiah, 9; Jason, 8; James, 7; Justin, 6;
Jackson, 4; Johannah, 3; and Jennifer, 1.
"Our whole family is excited about Jordyn's addition to
our family," Jim Bob Duggar said. "She's just perfect in every way." |
|
Jeff Foxworthy
Redneck 12 Days of Christmas. A classic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XeYv3I3A8s |
|

[UFO] I saw it too at the same time and same place. It looked like a
shiny, bluish ball coming down through the atmosphere. It didn't look like
a flare. |
|
[Memory] An elderly couple
had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the
table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one
said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I
would recommend it very highly.' The other man said, 'What is the name of
the restaurant?' The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What
is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know . . . The
one that's red and has thorns.' 'Do you mean a rose?' 'Yes, that's the
one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose,
what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?' |
|
[Navy Christmas Sharing]
The Navy Chief Petty
Officers' Association of Key West spread holiday cheer through Key West
yesterday by visiting Key West's Wesley House and delivering eight large
boxes of toys to the Marine Corps Toys For Tots program.
They also
visited Wesley House in Key West that morning, bringing with them Santa
Claus. During the visit, the Chiefs helped Santa deliver toys to the
children and led them in singing Christmas carols.
Returning to Naval
Air Station Key West's Boca Chica Field, the Chief Petty Officers'
Association was joined by the air station's First Class Petty Officer
Association to gather eight large boxes of toys collected at the air station
over the holiday season. The toys were then distributed by the Marine Corps
Reserve to local children charities throughout Key West and the lower Keys.
 |
|
[Women over 40] This is
what Andy Rooney (60 Minutes Correspondent) thinks about women over 40: As
I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few
reasons why: A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night
and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she
doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and
it's usually more interesting.
Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a
screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive
restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you
if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with
praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to
confess your sins to a woman over 40.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is
far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you
right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one. You don't ever have
to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a
multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every
stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy
relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old
waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow
when you can get the milk for free? Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%
of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth
buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage! Andy Rooney is a really
smart guy. |
|

Oil is just $34 a barrel today. I’ll bet that same $34, that the price
won’t stay that low for very long, so I’d better fill up! |
|
[Content of Website] t
amuses me when people write in complaining about the content of this website
and how it used to be, but they offer no content of the type they would like
to read. Where do they think the content comes from? Do they think the
editor has reporters throughout the Keys digging up dirt to post? If they
want to see different content, send it in. I like this site as it is, even
though sometimes it’s great and at other times it sucks. |
|

[Bocce Comes To Big Pine] Big Pine Bocce Association is starting a
spring season league at the new park in Big Pine. League starts January
19. Call Angie to sign up your team for the night you want to play
305-395-1332. League day/times are Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs 6pm-8pm. The cost
for the league is $100 team and $20 person. Call now as slots are limited.
Bulletin Board |
|
[Bird
Lady] To the poster who suggested that the initial poster over-reacted
to the FWC action: We probably need less retarded gov't agents like yourself
and more funds for admirable charities such as the BP Wildlife Rescue. I
also don’t quite get the swipe at Miami. Are you a native conch? A
freshwater conch? A native Floridian? Or are you just another transplanted
pollutant from somewhere colder? Unfortunately, there are more of those who
trash-talk like yourself then people like Maya who actually do
something for the common good.
So here’s an idea: Why don’t you and the rest of your parasitical, civil
service retards quit your overpaid over-benefitted government jobs so we can
use that hard earned taxpayer money for a better purpose, i.e. Maya’s
outfit. And if you can’t afford to live here, just move back to Detroit or
wherever you were spawned. I’m sure GM has a spot for you. |
|

[UFO] The object you saw as a bright light was me on my motorcycle.
Maybe you had too much vodka. Where is FHP when I need them? |
|
[Financial
Meltdown] Obama actually criticized government’s oversight of the
financial industry. He said that government has been “asleep at the
switch”, and that there’s not a lot of “adult supervision” of the industry.
Damn, if he had said that during the election process, I might have voted
for him. The thing is that the industry rules are made by the Democrat
controlled Congress, and for the last two years they’ve been overseen by
committees headed up by Rep. Barney Frank and Senator Dodd. Both of these
Democrat hot shots are actually in the pay of the industry they’re supposed
to regulate. These goons were loudly warned that the house of cards was
going to crumble. President Bush and the Republicans did their damndest to
pass legislation that would have prevented our current mess, but that
legislation was savaged and blocked by the aforementioned dangerous duo and
the Democrat leadership. Is it even possible that Obama might call for real
investigation? Nah! |

Naval Air Station Cartoon |
|
[Free
Day Off] Would our Government people take that day off without pay?
Time and a half at that! Let's all get on the band wagon and screw the
County. No, Bad thought. There's nothing left. |
|
[Sloan’s
Dreams] My horoscope today says “When conversing with friends, avoid
talking about offensive topics of those that are too personal. You’ll save
yourself a lot of frustration and/or heartache. Keep everything light and
breezy.”
I suppose, therefore, I should not tell my
friends about a dream I had last night, of being out on the Seven Mile
Bridge somewhere with my childhood best friend, David Strickland, who, when
he shows up in my dreams, represents Jesus (House of David). His daughter is
my goddaughter. Well, me and David are sitting on the inside edge of the top
of the bridge and I start sliding myself over the edge of the concrete. As I
start sliding slowly down into the water, I say to him, “You know, some, but
not all people on this world are extra terrestrials and people, and it makes
their lives real interesting.” Next thing, I’m in the water paddling toward
the outside, and I see very big shark fins up out of the water headed the
other way. Then I’m in shallow water, walking toward some kind of beach on
rocky bottom, wondering how I’m going to get back to the lower end of the
bridge where I left my car and wallet. Then standing above me on the roadway
smiling, all dressed up in their Sunday best, were a few folks I’d had
very light and breezy conversations with, including Sandy Downs.
Maybe I’ll just say I hope Santa brings me something
warm and fuzzy for Christmas, and that I wish President Bush had told the
Gang of Three in Detroit to take their medicine in bankruptcy court, or had
paid for the bailout his own selves.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
|
|
The
Big Pine Key Coast Guard Auxiliary Flotilla 1303 held their annual
Change of Watch at Buon Appetito on December 9, 2008. New officers were
sworn in, and many awards were presented to members who have worked hard to
promote boating safety in the Keys. Anyone interested in learning more
about the CGA should contact new Flotilla Commander Jan Kittsmiller at
305-744-0043 or don@floridacoins.com |
|
[Hearing Problem] Morris,
an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later,
the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on
his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,
'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what
you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I
didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' |
|
An outdoor kitchen is the
kind of amenity that makes coastal living special and they are becoming more
popular in high-end homes.
 |
|
[Hook-up Gal] I want to
thank the woman who turned to Craig's List to find physical satisfaction. I
hadn't visited CL in quite some time and she reminded me of it. I've since
re-visited the personals after finding my boyfriend looking to sew his oats
outside of my field. What's good for the goose is good for the gander and
trust me, I got it good. Three different guys too. I hope my Jack-Ass is
reading this wondering if it's me. If you are a guy and you are cheating I
just might be your girlfriend writing this.
Notice I haven't been in the mood lately? I found
someone else to give that to me and he's actually good. He even makes sure
I'm fully pleased before he stops. I didn't remember what I was missing.
Girlfriends, if you need to get your fix and your guy
isn't performing, go elsewhere. He probably is too. It’s time we act like
guys and get our fill. I think I'm going to answer another ad this weekend. |
|

[UFO Sighting] That was just
Sloan
returning from a visit to his friends on the planet Dreamo. |
|
[Free Day Off] Are the
County Employees going to get the Friday after New Year’s Day off too. I’ve
got to work or I’ll be fired. Working for the county is a cushy job. I wish
I could work there. |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Saturday
December 20, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Friday
December 19, 2008 |
|
[Free Day Off] When
Christmas falls on a Thursday, all levels of government have always
awarded Friday off to employees. Who cares? Why would anyone complain
about others getting to spend more time with their families during the
holidays? It takes an awfully shallow person to make such a complaint. |
|
[Bird
Rescue] It is very admirable that Maya Totman, along with others,
devote their lives to wildlife rehab. Unfortunately, the number of
animals that Maya deals with makes it a very daunting task. At last
sight, she did not have the available space or manpower to care for all
of the animals in a humane manor. Example: one pen of mostly pelicans,
allowed each bird approximately 4 square feet of floor space per bird.
This is an extremely crowded situation. Combine this density with the
dirt floor, which cannot be cleaned and the sum is a very unpleasant
living condition for such magnificent birds that were meant to
soar above the ocean.
Wildlife Rescue cannot see compassion through the lens of rescue, cannot
see release through the lens of need, and cannot see failure through the
lens of hope, this is their downfall. The poster on the 18th jumped at
the chance to attack state and federal governments, this is typical of
those who cannot separate fact from fiction and who miss the forest from
inspecting the trees. Please remember that learning is a life long
exercise and that you would do more for the world by ingesting the
truth, not regurgitating your delusions.
Please Mrs. Poster head down
to Maya's place and donate time and money to this cause. She
desperately needs more space and with the housing situation here on Big
Pine you could buy her a larger facility. Please help the wildlife of
the FL keys by bulldozing the improvements on your lot, filling in your
canal, restoring your lot to native conditions, donating the lot to a
conservation organization, and promptly moving to Miami. |
|
[Auto Bailout] This
morning Bush gave the Big Three a 90 day ultimatum in order to gat
bailed out. Basically he said either shit or get off the pot. Make a new
plan for success or go bankrupt. He’s going to use the money approved
for the Wall St bailout for the auto industry. At least he wont appoint
a car czar. None of those czars have ever done a damned thing. |
|
[Merry
Christmas From Sloan]
When four of
Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast
as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which
stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found
that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped
the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load
the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the
ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the
house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the
cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the
rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it
broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off
the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa
marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with
a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry
Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for
you. Where would you like me to stick it?’ And so began the tradition of
the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
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[Site Sucks] This site was once a
wonderful place for local gossip. It has become a bore. I can get
political news from the media. Maybe you can split the site into
Politics and local gossip if there are enough locals left. Thanks for a
once great site. |
|
[Artists
Network] The first meeting of 2009 for the Lower Keys Artists
Network will be held Monday, January 5th, 7 PM, at The Artists in
Paradise Gallery, Winn-Dixie Shopping Center, Big Pine Key. The program
to be presented will be a demonstration by award- winning artist Kim
Workman, AKA Kimian. She will be making imprints of things found in
nature, such as seashells and plants. Objects are pressed onto a canvas,
covered with thick modeling paste which leaves an exact imprint. It is
then painted and glazed. The finished product can resemble an ancient
cave drawing or petroglph, depending on the subject matter used. This is
a fun and easy process for the novice or professional. Kim is a member
of the Artists in Paradise Gallery, Key West Art Center and the Nature
Printing Society. Come to the gallery on January 5th for her inspiring
demo. The public is invited to attend and the meeting begins at 7 p.m.
Refreshments will be served and please bring a chair. For further
information call Dale at 872-9404 or the gallery at 872-1828.
Bulletin Board |
|
[Tipping Threat] I
think the bad tipper should watch the movie "Waiting" it would be a real
eye opener for him. I have worked in a restaurant for 20 years and can
say that I have seen everything that was done in that movie. I would
like to point out to the bad tipper that the restaurant staff is pretty
much like a family, and family sticks together. So the next time you
decide to visit an establishment and tip poorly, do not return, because
if you do you might find yourself in the restroom for the next couple of
days. |
|
Grudgingly,
very grudgingly, I offer Kudos to Obama for some of his recent
decisions. His decision to have his inauguration benediction delivered
by Pastor Rick Warren was courageous. Warren, of course, is a
very prominent evangelical minister, who is very vocal in his pro life
preaching’s and his opposition to same sex marriage. Gay leaders are
apoplectic. His choice of Arne Duncan and Robert Gates were sterling. On
the other hand, he will rue his choice of Eric Holder, Holder has
fingerprints on 9/11, our current fiscal whirl pool, and Clinton’s
pardon-gate debacle. Some of his other choices, like Clinton, Richardson
and Vilsack are real head scratchers, what in the hell could be have
been thinking! To date, this right wing nut is pleasantly surprised at
general quality of some of his choices, and bemused at most of the
other. The far left, his most rabid backers, are having a major case of
buyers remorse. The lefty long knives will soon be out. |
|
[Wildlife
Rescue] I realize your frustration with the recent situations that
have been unfolding at Fl. Keys Wildlife Rescue at Big Pine Key. This is
what happens when our populous gets layers and layers of pseudo experts
for every problem imaginable that we may encounter. When common sense
tells us that one segment is being sorely neglected and citizens take
the initiative to try to correct the problem to the best of there
ability. This presents a marvelous opportunity for one of our countless
Gov. experts to exhibit their expertise and authority; never mind that
common sense will once again take a back seat. If it is not officially
condoned by a bureaucrat it will be besmirched as not up to their level
of competence, blah, blah blah.
Indeed we have become so inured to this type of behavior that we are
surprised when it doesn't happen. Again we have allowed ourselves to be
dictated to by the those with the least individuality, vision. The
dullards of society are taking over. |
|

Some more of Nixon’s tapes have been released. It’s chilling how
little regard for the law or the Constitution that man had. He was a
brilliant politician, but he was still a “crook”! |
|
[New
twist on a Yard Sale] Pay want you want! Many, many free items.
Starting on Saturday, Dec. 20th (noon-ish) and running until Dec.
30th. After many happy years in Big Pine we are moving to Texas. We
will put out new items everyday, many of them free or you can drop a
donation in our Moving Fund. There will be furniture, household items,
books and some tools, and much more. Come and see! 30121 Linda
Street, corner of Loma and Linda. (Loma is across the highway from the
health food store. Come and pick up some needed items and say good-bye
to Us. We're going to miss you guys! |
|
[Stockings
for Troops] After weeks of hosting booths, making public pleas, and
sitting on church stoops, MYCP Seasons of Service Team, MYCP’s
Leadership Class at Coral Shores, and San Pedro youth group have
collected $2,665 for the Red Cross Stockings for Troops project. In the
camouflage stocking, soldiers serving overseas may expect to find
much-needed socks, toiletries, phone cards and a personal note from the
person who donated the $10 to have it sent.
The Seasons of Service (SOS) club
members are students from the Upper Keys who voluntarily serve in the
community. Monroe Youth Challenge Program District Prevention
Coordinator Michele Sutter, whose passion has inspired the Stockings for
Troops project locally for the last seven years, turned the donations in
to the Red Cross. It was enough to provide 266 stockings to service men
and women serving in places like Iraq and Afghanistan.
Carnell A. Armstead, the client services coordinator for the American
Red Cross Greater Miami & The Keys wrote back to Sutter, “Please let me
say that we thank you and your organization so much! I am retired Air
Force and I know how the troops will feel. It is nice to see that even
if these tough times, people want to support our servicemen.”
The SOS Team and CSHS Leadership Class is supported by MYCP. Monroe
Youth Challenge Program is a project of the Monroe County Education
Foundation to foster acceptance, respect, and success in the youth of
Monroe County. For more information contact Michele Sutter at (305)
852-1884 or visit
http://www.monroe.k12.fl.us/mycp
Photo: Kelly Walsh, a senior
at Coral Shores High School, enjoys her volunteer efforts as she
collects donations for the Stockings for Troops at the Island Christian
School Christmas Festival. Photo credit: Michele Sutter/MYCP |
|
[Seasons in Texas] Miss
Sally Edwards is a highly esteemed third grade teacher at Jacksboro
Elementary. In an effort to prepare her students for the all-important
TAKS test, she compiled an exam consisting of 20 questions, which she
administered to her class. The exam purposely covered a broad array of
topics. I call your attention to question # 11, which simply read: List,
in any order, the four seasons. 67% of the students gave the following
answer:
1. dove season
2. deer season
3. quail season
4. turkey season
God bless the rural kids of Texas! |
|

[UFO] We were driving home from K.W. on Thursday afternoon about
5:00 and saw a strange glowing object go across the sky on the right
side of the road headed toward Big Pine (we were on Cudjoe). It only
lasted for a couple of minuets and then was gone. Did anyone else see
this? Does anyone know what it was? |
|
[Old Timer]
Let's start with Buzzy and Marcus. They're fine and doing very well.
Rob passed away, Uncle Tony has been gone a long time. So has Carol.
Little Tony is here and doing well, still "painting". Phil is here and
is also doing just fine. Fred has not been around for many years. Mikey
and Diane and Mark Mark, I'm not too sure about--probably gone for a
long time too. Not-So-Plain Jane fell in love and moved away. Bud, I
am not sure about. I am sure some of us that are still here will add to
this.
The Gangplank has been out of business for a very long time. It has been
opened several times under different names but has not done well. There
have been a few changes, however.
The Super Wal-Mart is a big help, it
just about put K-mart and Sears out of business, but with all 3 stores
on this island, everything is dirt cheap. The Hilton has put a very
nice resort in where the Big Pine Fish Lodge used to be next to the
Spanish Harbor Bridge. The marina is well equipped and full of those
multi-million dollar sports fisherman. It cost too much for the locals
to go there. I think the best job was done by the Marriot who bought
The Old Wooden Bridge Fish Camp. They could only go up 3 stories but
there was a bunch of land to use, so it's spread out nicely. The
four-lane project is really a mess now but it should be done in a year
or two. Well I hope this has been helpful. Have a very Merry Christmas
and God Bless. ~Joe Britz |
|

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2008/12/18/obamas-rick-warren-inauguration-pick-sparks-gay-fury/ |
|
[Tipping] To all of you
people who go out to dinner and don't leave a tip. I would hate to be
related to you on any given holiday. People in other countries don't
leave tips because the working staff is paid a salary, and they even get
paid vacation time, but here in America the people work for tips and a
measly few bucks hourly wage. Most of the locals here work their butts
off all winter long serving foreigners that don't tip; and barely make
ends meet during the slow summer months.
I enjoy sitting across the bar
from people like you and watching as the bartender walks past your empty
drink until you finally get so upset that you leave. That is good
summertime entertainment. Lord knows we all get bad service from time to
time, but there are ways to avoid this. Here’s a quick lesson for you,
cheapo, go to a restaurant where you’re not known for leaving crummy
tips and eat there for an entire week and leave a nice tip. You will be
amazed at the service you receive. Or don't go out to eat--period. I'm
not even in the bar or restaurant business and I can't stand people like
you. God bless your family during the holidays, we all know they need
it! |
|
A
Boating Skills and Seamanship program will be presented by the US
Coast Guard Auxiliary Big Pine Flotilla 1303 at the Habitat For Humanity
building, 30320 Overseas Hwy, Big Pine Key, Fl. Programs begins at 7pm
and end at 9:30pm. Classes run for three weeks on Monday's and
Wednesday's beginning January 12, 2009. Topics include: Equipment for
your boat , Rules you must follow , Boat handling, Weather and boating ,
Your “highway” signs, Charts (piloting), Which boat is for you?, Radio
use and Safe trailering. There is also an official Saturday Patrol on
the Water. Classes are taught by highly experienced CGA members who can
share a lot of valuable information with boaters new to navigating the
waters here in the Keys. Fees are $55 per person, which includes
materials. For more information
Bulletin Board |
|
Habitat for Humanity of
Key West & Lower FL Keys received a grant from Historic Tours through
the Community Contribution Tax Credit Program to help defray some of the
costs of their recent purchase of six units at Fogarty Corner
Condominiums. These units are currently occupied as affordable rentals;
three of the units will be sold as affordable homes as Habitat proceeds
through their application process.
There will be many new
opportunities for local businesses to put their tax monies to work
locally as Habitat for Humanity proceeds with new homes at Bayside
Landing on Big Coppitt Key. The Community Contribution Tax Credit
Program is a state funded incentive to encourage businesses to partner
with those who provided affordable housing. Eligible contributions are
matched by the State of Florida with tax credits.
This program is a great way
for you, a business owner/manager, to support Habitat for Humanity as it
works to create solutions to our workforce housing crisis in the Lower
Keys. For more information on this exciting program, please call Bob
Calhoun at 305.872.4456, ext. 109. |
|

[Sammy Mays] A proud moment for former tabloid reporter when
Monroe County Commissioners /Mayor George Neugent declare humor writer,
Sammie “The Gonz” Mays, Honorary Mayor of the Florida Keys! |
|
[NY Senate Seat] It’s fascinating
to observe the media and the Democrat elite united like co-joined
siblings at their hypocritical hips in their support for Carolyn
Schlossberg to become an appointed Senator in New York State. The twins
still quiver with indignation and spew invective at the mere mention of
Governor Palin, a successful, experienced, hugely popular, and actually
elected public official, yet they’re orgasmic at the prospect of Ms.
Schlossberg becoming a Senator. They opine that her vast experience at
having been a Kennedy, well, a Kennedy from another state will make her
a great choice. Does the term carpet bagger have any resonance? Do you
suppose that her Dad’s name had any impact? The twins are the same
mouths that roar with indignation at the suggestion of another Bush
family member (Jeb Bush) offering for public service, they rail against
“dynasty”. Go figure. |
|

[Fl. Keys Wildlife Rescue at Big Pine Key] As I understand it the Feds
want Ms Totman to kill the critters she’s cared for that are too messed
up to be returned to nature. If this is the case they should just let
her keep caring for the critters until they die a natural death. What’s
wrong with that? |
|
[Unions] Someone in
here tried to disgrace the Democrats by saying that it’s horrible that
unions support them. Maybe that person doesn’t have high regard for the
Police, Sheriffs, teachers and nurses, but we welcome them into the
Democratic party. Unions are here to stay so you might as well not call
a Democratic supported union Policeman or Sheriff when you need help.
Let me know how that works out for you! |
|
[Global
Cooling] Vegas: Biggest snow in 30 years, Chicago: One foot of snow,
Malibu, CA: Freak snow, NYC: Heavy snow due. Arizona: Snow warnings.
And it’s going to get worse, there are at least 3 major record breaking
frigid winter systems marching eastward before Xmas. To the global
warming acolytes this is actual proof of their dogma. I wonder how many
of them will be out there shoveling snow in their bathing suits? Groucho
Marx must have been thinking about Al Gore when he said “Who are you
going to believe, me or your own eyes?” |
|
[Automaker Bailout]
Sen. Rich ard Shelby of Alabama has doomed the industry, calling it a
dinosaur. No Mr. Shelby, you are the dinosaur, with ideas stuck in the
'70s, '80s and '90s. You and the uninformed journalist and senators that
hold onto myths that are not relevant in today's world. When you say
that the Big Three build vehicles nobody wants to buy, you must have
overlooked that GM out sold Toyota by about 1.2 million vehicles in the
U.S. and Ford out sold Honda by 850,000 and Nissan by 1.2 million in the
U.S. GM was the world's No. 1 automaker beating Toyota by 3,000 units.
Chevy makes the Malibu and
Ford makes the Fusion that were both rated over the Camry and Accord by
J.D. Power independent survey on initial quality? Consumer Report rated
Ford on par with good Japanese automakers. Big Three's “gas guzzlers”
include the 33 mpg Malibu that beats the Accord. And for '09 Ford
introduces the Hybrid Fusion whose 39 mpg is the best midsize, beating
the Camry Hybrid. Ford's Focus beats the Corolla and Chevy's Cobalt
beats the Civic. When you ask how many times are we going to bail them
out you must be referring to 1980. The only Big Three bailout was
Chrysler, who paid back $1 billion, plus interest. GM and Ford
have never received government aid. |
|
[Bird
Rescue] It's a shame that the feds are giving the bird lady so much
grief. they should let her alone.
I just read about a turtle lady who was arrested for protecting
loggerhead nests in South Carolina. She was made to serve a day in jail
even after she demonstrated that her methods were more effective than
the Feds’. Her house was right on the beach and she grew up watching the
breeding cycles of the turtles. She was an old woman when she went to
jail. I think it’s really a matter of control. The Feds want it all even
at the expense of the critters; and they won’t accept input from anyone
without a college diploma in that particular science. |
|
[Tipping] I always
leave 20% even for lousy service. Most service in the Keys is
lousy. I figure it’s a small town and they’ll remember me if I stiff
them. Servers never admit to giving bad service. I believe it’s because
they just don’t know what good service is, or they usually have have
some other excuse. |
|
Here’s
a picture of Lou, Kay and Elizabeth (Lizzie) VanDGejuchte's dedication
last evening at their new home in Habitat Landing on Big Pine Key. Rev.
Jack Clark, one of our board members, delivered a brief message and
blessed the house. The family has been painting, decorating and, in
short, making this house their home. |
|
[Extra Days Off] I do
not believe in this day and age, given the fiscal state of the County,
layoffs, closing of libraries, firing school crossing guards, etc. I
think these so-called public servants (our neighbors) are taking part in
this scheme. This is a slap in the face of all Monroe County citizens
who will not get Christmas day off, never mind the day after! I have to
work and be productive or face disciplinary action at my place of
employment.
What does this mean for New
Years Day and day after? Is this a two-fer? |
|

[Bill Clinton disgraced the White House Oval Office. I don't
believe in a million years Bush would ever do anything like that]
Please, please tell me you are joking. If not what color is the sky were
you are from? |
|
[Ron Widmaier]
Effective this week I have changed brokers from ERA to GMAC Schwartz.
Stop by the my new office at the Winn Dixie Shopping Center and say
hello. |
|
Enjoy this piece of
exceptional wisdom.
Slide Show |
|
Congressional
Motors Announces The First Car for 2012, The Pelosi. It's in
the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your
unemployment check. You're a man who likes to do things your own way.
And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted,
you want it in your car. It's that special feeling of a zero-emissions
wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The
kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport
Edition from Congressional Motors. |
|
[Iron Man Santa] Now that's
what I call Christmas music.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRW2poUfJ34 |
|

[Children Day with Santa] I haven't seen anything on here about
the Moose Lodge and the Children Day with Santa they put on? It was
wonderful and so great of them to do something like that for the kids of
the community. |
|
[Gas Price] Have you all noticed
how the gas prices have gone up 5+ cents a gallon and oil has gone down
$4 a barrel? I may be wrong but I think you get 42 gallons out of a
barrel, at $40 a barrel, that's under a $1 a gallon. I know the oil
companies need a little profit for exploration but that’s too much. |
|
 |
|
The Bird Lady of Big Pine is a truly
rare breed of person who deserves the support of anyone who lives down
here. She needs her own space off the beaten path to pursue her noble
activities if she wants it. How about a benefit to make this happen? |
|

The pot calling the kettle… |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our
spam filters will delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Friday
December 19, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Thursday
December 18, 2008 |
|
[Wildlife
Rescue] I want to express how outraged I am at what happened at the
Fla. Keys Wildlife Rescue on Big Pine. An FWC inspector ordered them to
kill the majority of their birds because he deemed they could not be
released into the wild. I don't know if he has a veterinary background
or what qualifies him to make that kind or decision on his own and
demand that it be carried out. He must have vast knowledge, experience
or qualifications in Wildlife rehabilitation (or not). The fact is that
Mrs. Totman, her husband and their volunteers are a huge value to our
community in helping us residents whenever we find an injured animal or
a bird that's been shot or tangled in fishing line or hit by a car, etc.
Have you ever called US Fish & Wildlife
Service or Florida State Fish & Wildlife Commission to rescue or help
you rescue wildlife or about an injured animal? They will tell you that
this is not their function though their name implies that it is. If you
find an injured animal you can count on Maya Totman and her volunteers
(not receiving handsome salaries and benefits from the State of Federal
Government I might ad) to come out quickly each and every time no matter
what time of day or night and take the animal to get it help. The peace
of mind that gives us is immeasurable. I personally call on them 5 to 6
times a year at least, and they've never let me down.
Instead of persecuting them the state
and feds should be trying to assist them in any way they can to insure
that she can continue her work. They should lease her some land,
subsidize her or donate equipment, something to help her; not try to
shut her down. If this selfless, hard working group of people can no
longer continue their work, one can only imagine the number of calls
USFWS and FSFWCC are going to receive for animals or birds in distress
and as they have made abundantly clear, "that is not our function". It
leaves us all to wonder what exactly is their function if not to help
and protect the wildlife here in the Keys? Though I'm sure they are well
paid, they don't seem to really have their heart in it and generally
don't show nearly the amount of dedication to the wildlife that the
people at Fla Keys Wildlife Rescue do.
State and Federal people out there, if
you're reading, please help this organization, don't punish them for
their good work. For once some people are trying to do good and using
their own money and property to do it with seemingly no assistance from
County, State or Federal. The people at Fla Keys Wildlife Rescue don't
go on vacations, they don't go out on a boat on weekends to enjoy the
water, they don't buy new trucks (such as the ones our State and Feds
drive around), that's because they choose to use their time and money
for something they feel is much more important and it's a lot of work
and I imagine leaves little time or energy for much else. How many
people do you know that would sacrifice their own quality of life and
use all their time for a greater good such as they do? Huh, how many?
That's what I thought. |
[Cal
Sutphin] I wanted to say that I have been a closet reader of the
telegraph for years now and have always enjoyed the diversity of
subjects covered. Unfortunately have to move on to the warm, sunny
state of Maryland and wanted to pass along all of my best to all of
you. I’ve loved being a part of what quickly became my home here in the
Keys and have enjoyed entertaining everyone, whether it was on the radio
show I hosted for over four years, the Comcast TV show or my writings in
the Keynoter. None of it ever felt like work to me. Some of the best
friends I have ever made in my life were found here in the Keys and I
will miss you all very much. Hold the fort down while I’m gone….I will
be back. My compliments to the Ed who probably has the toughest job in
the Keys. ~Cal Sutphin |
[Pubic Service
Announcements] Please keep up the fantastic job you do illuminating the
masses. You're my hero. But enough of that. You know I'm just
buttering you up for a suggestion.
Have you thought about establishing an area on this site for Public
Service Information? For instance, that lovely post on Ejaculate is
something that should always be available for reference. I have some
other information that could contribute to just such a tender and so
often suppressed subject matter archive. (Light bulb!) Or maybe you
should call it "Pubic" Service Announcements? |

[Lawyer] I am looking for an attorney who is not in bed with the
MCSO and has the balls or ovaries to represent me in filing a suit
against MCSO. I know this is a daunting task, but surely there is
someone out there willing to go to the mat to represent me. Contact me
at 305-304-1070. |
|
Merry Christmas and
Happy New Year to Glen Reber on Avenue E in Big Pine. Hope things
are going well for you this holiday season! Your family up north would
like to hear from you. |
[Sock
and Awe]
The popular new game where you too
can have a chance to hit Bush with a shoe.
http://www.sockandawe.com/` |
|
From this mans point of view, the best part of a
receiving oral sex is the 15 minutes of silence. |

Wanted, Looking for trash, or a macerator pump to conduct an
alternative energy experiment.
Classified Ads Special |
|
[More bar Wisdom] If a bicycle can make a
man important then how do you explain 1 billion Chinese people? |

Alcohol may have been involved! Merry Christmas! |
|
[Extra Day Off] "If
they come in, they're not going to be doing much anyway." Mario
DiGennaro, at the 12/17/08 BOCC Meeting, when referring to county
employees getting the day after Christmas off work as a paid holiday.
Commissioner Carruthers said
something about employees not being productive at their county job on
the day after Christmas.
Commissioner Neugent said
something about schools being closed and employees having children at
home.
What the hell does that say
about the quality and professionalism of county staff? What an insult to
Monroe County citizens. You know, the rest of the working Keys, who
don't get the day after a holiday off, who are expected to go to work
and put in a full and vigilant day to earn their pay, who have children
home from school? And what about those county employees who
are non-Christians and those who are without children, are they also not
able to perform competently on the day after Christmas?
Also, the presentation of this
request to the BOCC was done in an extremely manipulative manner. All
county employees have known for a year that the day after Christmas was
a Friday. Therefore, why wasn't the request put on the normal (published
in advance so the public can read it ahead of time) agenda? Why was the
request treated as an "add-on" item, announced only at the beginning of
the meeting? Some smart county employee (who now has the day off with
pay) knew to keep it off the regular agenda to prevent the public from
knowing, and thereby having the opportunity to comment, and possibly
influence the commissioners about the request.
By the BOCC's previously
stated rules, agenda "add-on items" are only supposed to be urgent and
critical. Requesting as an "add-on item" something that has been known
all year (and therefore is not urgent or critical), and could have
requested in at least 10 prior BOCC meetings is disingenuous and
disrespectful to the public. It is also a very effective strategy
for keeping the public uninformed. |
|
[Road
Closures] Jewfish Creek US 1 Overseas Highway. Both northbound and
southbound lanes of traffic are in their final configuration on the new
bridge. Businesses on both sides of Jewfish Creek can be accessed by
ramps on either side of the bridge. There are no lane closures scheduled
for this week. The passing zone from approximately MM 121 to 123 is now
limited to one lane in each direction. Watch for truck traffic and
shoulder work throughout the construction zone. The speed limit is 45
mph northbound from MM 106 to MM 108 and 45 mph southbound from MM 108
to 106 and 55 mph for north and southbound traffic from approximately MM
108 to MM 116 and 45 mph from MM 116 to MM 126.
Plantation Key. MM 86.8 to MM 90.0 U.S. 1/Overseas Hwy. Paving
operations will be on-going through December 22, 2008. Resulting lane
closures, shifts or detours will only occur during night time hours of
Sunday - Thursday from 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. No lane closures will occur on
Friday & Saturday nights.
Plantation Key MM 85.7 to MM 86.8 U.S. 1/Overseas Hwy. This is a two
lane section of U.S. 1/Overseas Highway. Lane closures will only occur
during paving operations and at non-peak traffic hours of Sunday -
Thursday from 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. No lane closures will occur on Friday &
Saturday nights. A daytime lane shift is also in effect adjacent to the
Weigh Station and Venetian Shores entrance.
Bahia Honda Bridge U.S. 1/Overseas Hwy MM 35.28-MM 36.56 One Lane of a
two lane section will be closed during the day Monday-Friday on the
southbound Bahia Honda Bridge from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.
Big Pine Key US 1/Overseas Highway. One lane in each direction on US 1
on Big Pine Key from near Jade Drive to near the Shark Key entrance is
closed weekdays, from 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM, through January 15, 2009.
Boca Chica Bridge .One southbound lane on the Boca Chica Bridge (mile
marker 6.2) will be closed daily, from 9:00 AM to 4:00 AM, December 18,
2008 and December 19, 2008. Florida Keys Aqueduct Authority crews will
be performing utility work. |
|
[Society] It is no measure of health to be
well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. |
|
Why
are we a spoiled nation, why are jobs going overseas? We are a
nation that demands products that are inexpensive and of good quality.
Such products are easier to obtain from foreign sources than from
American shores. We are a nation who bitches, whines and blames everyone
but ourselves for problems of our own making. It’s you and I who have
decided to increase the wages of American workers so that going offshore
can turn a losing business into a winner.
Now foreign workers have a
better work ethic and more pride in their workmanship than we do.
Foreigners will work much cheaper than we will, and they’re thankful to
have the job. We’ve decided to put in place laws and work rules that
tell us who we must hire, how much we must pay them, and we make it
nearly impossible to sanction piss poor employees. We’ve decided that
everyone is “entitled” to a job. You and I have decided that we will
raise business taxes so that now our businesses are the second highest
taxed in the world. Thee and me are so devoted to the ecology that we
impose Gordian rules and laws on those who would make or manufacture
anything. And most recently you and I are telling our captains of
industry that we are anxious to nationalize their business and industry.
We’ve done just about
everything that we could to slice the gonads on our businesses and
industry, and the current governmental mind set is to continue hacking
away at them. Of course our manufacturers and businesses are fleeing
America; our rules stifle productivity and profit. It’s you and me who
are telling them that we don’t want them here. There is a solution:
simply regain control of the government dogs and let business operate in
a reasonable manner. |
[Snowbirds]
I have some positive comments on the snowbirds:
At least they don’t stay all year
They only come out of Venture Out trailer park to let their dogs poop or
to block isles in the grocery store.
We tell our kids, “Look, that’s what happens when you don’t eat your
vegetables.
Who else could we get to buy our junk at our garage sales?
They don’t east our plants like the iguanas do. |
|
[Line Item Veto]
While speechifying the other day about the Illinois legislators
beginning impeachment moves against Blagojevich, the Obama said: "I'm
going to let the state legislature make a determination in terms of how
they want to proceed." Obama has not yet assumed the power of the
Presidency, and when he does take the oath of Office on 1/20/09, he will
have absolutely no power or authority over the Illinois legislators to
cause them to do anything at all about Blagojevich. The Obama recently
declared: “I’ll go through the Federal Budget line by line, page by
page to eliminate excessive spending.” No President of the United
States has the power or authority of the line item veto. These are but
two very recent examples of the megalomaniacal thought process of the
Obama. Rest assured that there will be many more. |

New car from China. Maybe you’d better buy two!
Video |
|
[Bill Clinton] You have got to be kidding
me. Bill Clinton disgraced the White House Oval office. I don't believe
in a million years Bush would ever do anything like that. And when he
the Clintons left the White House there was a big thing about them
stealing things from the White House--more like white trash if you ask
me. Sorry but he is not loved by everyone. Maybe you and a few other
crazy liberals |
|

Giving county employees the day off after Christmas, just because
they won't be doing a good job that day is a bunch of BS! And the fact
that the people we elected to be their bosses know that and can say that
publicly with a straight face, and then condone it by allowing the
county employees to get away with this type of behavior is disgusting.
What's worse is that county employees already have an option for that
day off and they can plan for it all year long -- it's called vacation.
But who cares, it's a done deal.
Now that 12/26 is a "holiday day with
pay" - does that mean that the police and fire and other mandated
workers will get time and a half for working on a holiday? |
|
One of Mel Fisher’s “golden” girls needs a
little help. Please visit
www.FriendsOfMelFisher.com where an on-line auction is being held
until noon this Sat. Great Christmas presents are on the block! |
[Iraq
Oil] What good can come out of Iraq which has been given the largest
welfare check in American history. The head of the Republican Party told
us at 1 time that the Iraqis would repay Americans with the money from
their oil reserves. Then he went on to disgrace the Iraqis by not
letting them repay us and show us how grateful they were for our
billions and billions of free money. Its not nice to take the "humility"
away from Iraq. Give them the shear joy of repaying us for their free
handout. Let us see the joy on their faces when they turn over that
large, large check. |
|
[Tipping] You tip your server for service and
attention paid to you. They do not do the cooking. They do not clean
or manage the place. So even if the food is slow coming out of the
kitchen, hardly edible and the rest rooms are horrible, the server gets
their tip if they did their job. So if my server keeps me in drink,
apologizes for the slow kitchen and smiles at me, I will tip 20%. I
would also give the server a tip, "get a job at a better place, because
you won't see me in here again". |
|
[Old
Timer] This is Gene from
olden times (30+ yrs ago) on Big Pine. I was a block layer. I worked for
Bucky Miller for awhile with Gary Karhowski. I just about lived at the
Gangplank. I was in love, like everyone else, with not-so-plain Jane
from the Big Pine Inn and the Gangplank. They were the best years of my
life down there. I got tired of being disgusted with Florida development
and moved to South Georgia 11 years ago. It’s sort of like Big Pine used
to be.
So what’s happened to everyone? Marcus,
Buzzy, Mark Mark and Diane, Rob and Carol, Fred, Bud Isaacs, Phil, Uncle
Tony and Little Tony, Mikey. I can’t recall any more names right now,
but I can see the faces. I know Gary’s dead and Jane got married and had
a slew of kids. |
|
Oh
Baby! Now that's a stocking stuffer.
|
|
For those of you who wanted to be at my
Capt'n Kidd Awards
Ceremony
but couldn't, my friend Michael Vernon taped it and posted it on his
site. Just go to
http://www.keywesthero.com/ and
click on the YouTube Box on the left hand side. |

An easy Christmas puzzle.
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=ER13610552 |
|
[Bill Clinton is universally loved around
the world] To quote something I just read "thank you for speaking for
all foreigners". I doubt you can claim that degree of omniscience
yourself. Besides, foreigners do not vote for our President. I am
unconcerned if they love him, only that they
respect
him and the country he represents. They can sneer all they like, but
they aren't invading. |

[Dolphin Stampede]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDiEXRMB-u8 |
|
[Auto Bailout]
All those who sincerely want to know the truth about the state of the
Big 3 auto companies’ complex operations should look it up for
themselves. They should allow themselves lots of time to do this. |
|

[Poetry] Win $100 for your un-scrabbled thoughts.
Poetry in Motion Contest |
|
[A day or two before oral sex on
Saturday There are people who plan to this degree?] Of course and its
Saturday and I’m too drunk to do anything else! |

[Unions] There are plenty of union autoworkers who vote Republican.
I hope recent events in the US Senate have taught those boneheads a lesson
about what side their bread is buttered on. |
|
Lawyers depend on law
enforcement officers to run cases to them and serve lawsuit papers and
do investigations that can help their cases and testify as witnesses in
their cases and give them courtesy traffic tickets instead of tickets with
fines and jail time attached. For those amenities lawyers represent law
enforcement officers in their legal troubles and affairs for free, and …
well, you get the drift.
On the other hand, what this all
started to remind my angel mind of is that Robert Asleep might have some
“issues” with women. I say that because he never disses me about writing
about angels and God, or writing bout anything but Sandy Downs, who is very
definitely a hen. I know, because my rooster eyes done told me so —
cock-a-doodle-doo!
I can say the same thing about
Lorri Szostak, M.D., whose unexpected appearance on the Keys law enforcement
scene shot a bejillion holes in the minds of them folks that have been
saying Sandy Downs is crazy and a liar. Doctor Lorri ascertained for her own
self who are the crazy and liars on Stock Island: the Gang of Three: Sheriff
Rick Roth, Major Tommy Taylor and Sheriff –elect Bob Peryam. The way Lorri
figured it out was they never replied to her many cards and letters asking
them to explain themselves.
What must be going on in their chicken little minds, and in their henchmen's
and henchwoman's’ minds, to have a board certified forensic lady
psychiatrist swoop into their roost like a giant chicken hawk, I can imagine
it isn’t putting them to sleep at night. Nope, what I imagine is that they
are reaching for a drink or two or ten, or a toke, or a pill of some kind.
This lady hawk, and the other one, dashed beyond any fixing in their
Adam-the-great minds that woman are the weaker sex.
Nope, they didn’t dash that notion for me. I already knew about it in my PhD
in woman studies courses: seven wives and a few girlfriends explained it to
me in ways I hope never again to experience. Which maybe have something to
do with men burning women at the stake, or falling asleep every time one
comes around who aren't afraid of being what she really is and worried about
what men think about her.
Why it’s enough to cause them men
and woman slaves to want to decide them real women must be crazy, or else
it’s the men and the slaves who are crazy – that’s how their minds work.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
|
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Menu |
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Thursday
December 18, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Wednesday
December 16, 2008 |
|

[New State Motto] Illinois, where our governors make our license
plates. |
|
[Tipping 20 percent] I
have got some news for you. That is only in the US, most of the rest of
the world it is 0%, which is pretty much what the service in the Keys
deserves, overall. It is not an entitlement. If your service, food, or
establishment sucks, you get the going world rate from me. |
|

[Monica Gate] Thank you for speaking for all foreigners. Over the
last 10 years I've lived in 4 different countries outside the US. I have
yet to met a single person who admires or supports George Bush. Not one!
On the other hand, Bill Clinton is universally loved around the world.
Say what you want about Clinton, but you know nothing about foreigners.
Hell, I'll bet you've never even been out of the country. I feel lucky
to have been gone for all of Dubya's term. What a colossal embarrassment
he is. |
|
[Bailouts] After reading the NY
Times article about the oil companies I guess now they will need a
bailout too. Look how good AIG has done with their bailout money. The
gov't could buy all their stock for less than they gave them. Their
market cap is 4.7 billion they are selling at $1.74 a share, that's less
then 8 billion. Maurice "Hank" Greenberg, former American International
Group boss, has questioned whether the troubled insurance company sold
securities to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York fund at a higher
price than they were marked on the insurer's books. This must be a lie
AIG would never cheat the US govt. If they need money give them all
shovels and let them dig the Keys waste water system for us for free
they got our money already. |
|
[Coconut
Telegraph’s Entertainment Editor] I have a blast sending stuff to
your site. All these interesting tidbits that grab my attention or
tickle my funny bone just
must be shared and you provide me with
a much bigger audience than I have on my own! Plus, you've probably
saved most of my friends from being bored or aghast at some of my
interests. Also, there are days when I feel I absolutely have to break
up the bellyaching humans need to spew when they overload your site on
the "whiners" side. It makes me feel good when someone writes in that
they enjoyed some odd bit I sent you and you posted. That's a doubled
benefit; I enjoy your column and I feel like I added a little to
somebody else's fun. Win-win-win! |
|
The presidential campaign
spawned Barack Obama and John McCain-themed condoms with corresponding
slogans ("Who says experience is necessary?" for the former, "Old, but
not expired" for the latter). |
|
[Shoe
Thrower] In their latest bid to beef up their pitching rotation for
the 2009 season, the New York Yankees today signed Iraqi journalist
Muntadar al-Zeidi to a three-year deal worth $32 million. The
right-handed al-Zeidi, 28, impressed the Yankee scouts with his
performance in Baghdad this week when he threw both of his shoes at
President George W. Bush. While neither of the shoes hit their target,
both throws "had great velocity and good movement," said Yankee owner
Hank Steinbrenner. "The first shoe was high and outside but the second
one was right down the middle," Mr. Steinbrenner said. The Yankee boss
said that he was also impressed with Mr. al-Zeidi's fighting spirit when
Secret Service agents tackled him. "That could come in handy when we
have a series with Boston," he said. |
|
[Piss on China] The
gentlemen is right and the only problem is there is nothing made in the
USA any more. I wrote in a few weeks ago about my iron. You might
think it is not a big deal, but the truth of the matter is we have no
industry left in America except for autos and we know where that is
going. One day China is going to shut the doors to us and we will have
no clothes, no tools, no shoes, no irons no nothing. Wake up America.
Get your heads out of your bottom and stop purchasing from foreign
nations. Make the government bring the jobs home again. We need to
redesign our industries to be environmentally sensitive and support
American citizens. Someone also posted the other day that they smell
the decay of our society. I agree, just look around. We are a spoiled
nation that is going down and will never be able to recover if we do not
do something soon. |
|

[At Last, a Reliable Contractor] I want to thank you guys at
bigpinekey.com for having such a wonderful web page. I've been coming
down here for over ten years (yes I’m a dreaded snow bird) and have
always had trouble finding a reliable contractor in the yellow pages. My
husband and I went on your web site and called Perfect Choice Fine
Carpentry, and were very pleased at the professionalism and the
quality of workmanship that they brought to our home. It was a very
pleasant experience, they also gave my husband some pro-finishing tips,
god knows he needed them. What a great bunch of guys, they’ll be around
for a long time. Thank you once again! |
|
[Rise and Fall of the Roman
Empire] If you can’s see similarities between that empire and ours
you’re not paying attention. |
|

[Smoky The Snowman] This video is wrong on so many levels. This
group promotes improved technology research for the coal-based power
plant industry to reduce its emissions. There is nothing even close to
clean coal yet. So far it’s all coal smoke and mirrors.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5DR1oyr4g8 |
|
[How arrogant! ] The
oft-repeated exclamation of our American-born, European-thinking, ex-pat
contributor. Too bad this requires an explanation, but I will try.
Nobody mentioned groveling at the feet of those who give, just
appreciation instead of an attitude of indignant entitlement. I was
raised to share of my own volition with those I can help. All that's
expected is a "thank you". There have been times I needed help and was
very grateful when it was offered. No one demanded my dignity, and I
did not consider it undignified to show how much the help was
appreciated. It is called kindness and the appropriate response involves
proper manners. |
|

[Ponzi] A guy last night at the Tiki bar told me that the word
Ponzi came from a Happy Days episode. He said is was a combination of
the names Potsie and Fonzi. Could this be true? I don't recall that
episode. |
|
[A day or two before oral
sex ] There are people who plan to this degree? |
|
The Night Before
Christmas --South Florida version:
'Twas
the night before Christmas and all through the casa,
Not a creature ws stirring -- Caramba! Que pasa?
Los ninos were tucked away in their camas,
Some in long underwear, some in pajamas,
While hanging the
stockings with mucho cuidado
In hopes that old Santa would feel obligado
To bring all children, both buenos and malos,
A nice batch of dulces and other regalos.
Outside in the yard
there arose such a grito
That I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.
I ran to the window and looked out afuera,
And who in the world do you think that it era?
Saint Nick in a
sleigh and a big red sombrero
Came dashing along like a crazy bombero.
And pulling his sleigh instead of venados
Were eight little burros approaching volados.
I watched as they
came and this quaint little hombre
Was shouting and whistling and calling by nombre:
"Ay Pancho, ay Pepe, ay Cuco, ay Beto,
Ay Chato, ay Chopo, Macuco, y Nieto!"
Then standing erect
with his hands on his pecho
He flew to the top of our very own techo.
With his round little belly like a bowl of jalea,
He struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea,
Then huffing and
puffing at last in our sala,
With soot smeared all over his red suit de gala,
He filled all the stockings with lovely regalos --
For none of the ninos had been very malos.
Then chuckling
aloud, seeming very contento,
He turned like a flash and was gone like the viento.
And I heard him exclaim, and this is verdad,
Merry Christmas to all, and Feliz Navidad! |
|

[No, Virginia, he's dead] How little Billy found out he wasn't
going to get that Red Rider BB Gun for Christmas. |
|
[Entitlement] It appears another lefty proves another Reaganism.
“It's not that our liberal friends are ignorant, it's just that they
know so much that isn't so”. You think that I want someone to feel
humility for my benefit? Well my friend, you could not be farther from
the truth. Humility is for the benefit of the recipient. The lack of
humility that accompanies the feeling of entitlement has now ruined
generations of low income Americans. When you feel entitled to what
someone else has struggled for and acquired, what difference does it
make if it's given to you by the government or if you just go take it
from them yourself? You wonder why crime rates are so high among those
that are reliant upon government subsidies?
I give you exhibit A. When you can acknowledge in your heart and mind
that some or many have freely given to make your life easier, you can
retain your sense of ambition and seek to improve your life and give
back to others. My life is made more meaningful by giving my time and
treasure to those less fortunate than I. But, if I am giving in a way
that only affords basic needs and does nothing to help people to the
point where they to can know the joy of giving, what good have I truly
done?
I encourage you to consider the facts. Government sponsored
welfare, in all it's forms, have done nothing to really improve the
lives of those who have become reliant upon it. They have become serfs
of the state, feeling entitled to the treasure of others simply because
they are alive, and beholden to the whims of the agency that controls
their existence. What kind of life is that? |
|
The
poster who said Ford’s factories are now all foreign is all
fouled up. First, Ford is not asking for a bail out, it’s the only one
of the Big 3 that says it can survive without it. Second, Ford is
hugely profitable overseas; the overseas profits float the world wide
Ford fleet. Third, Ford has the same legacy and labor cost problems that
the American unions have foisted on them, it simply costs a whale of a
lot more to make cars in unionized factories. That’s why foreign car
makers are doing so well. Labor and legacy costs are so high that the
Big 3 can’t make a profit. No profit means a doomed business. No
business, no jobs, no union. Hurrah, the golden goose is DOA!
The so called Big 3 bail out is not
intended to bail out the businesses, it’s to bail out the unions. If
they get the fed money, it will be a total waste, unless they get rid of
high labor costs and huge legacy costs, the Big 3 can’t make a profit.
Bush is wrong, the Dems are wrong; the only way to cure the Big 3 is by
the aggressive surgery, radiation, and the chemo therapy of bankruptcy.
Unpleasant, painful and risky, but without it the patients will surely
die taking with them all the bucks that have been wasted on quack
treatment. |
|
[Shoe Thrower] The Iraqis showed
how much love they have for our President. The reporter who threw the
shoe now has 2 broken arms, broken wrist, broken ribs and some head and
facial trauma. You know what they say “Don't do the crime if you cant do
the time.” |
|

Charles Ponzi (1882–1949) was an Italian immigrant to the United
States who became one of the greatest swindlers in American history
until this week’s Bernard Madoff 50 billion ripp-off.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Ponzi |
|
[Workers install steel posts] This
has been posted several times. The solid steel post unbolt at the base.
The truck is parked there to be out of the way. When they are done they
will remove a post and drive away. I know you feel silly, but how were
you to know that they had done this before? Be nice and Merry Christmas
to all. |
|

[The Mom Song] This is great.
You’ll love this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMhuAtyFCrw |
|
[Big Egos] Miriam Webster:
meg·a·lo·ma·nia 2 : a
delusional mental disorder that is marked by feelings of personal
omnipotence and grandeur. The
poster who suggested yesterday that a delusional mental disorder is a
positive attribute for a President of the U.S. certainly seems to be
very pleased with Obama. I’m not. I prefer a President who recognizes
that he/she is a fallible human being fully capable of making horrific
error. I prefer a leader who is humbled by the magnitude of the
responsibilities of the office. The President should be humbled and
honored by the approbation of the voters, and not view the office as
“his/hers” by some warped sense of "divine right". The Nixons, Hitlers,
Tojo’s, Kim Jong il’s , Clintons, and Obamas of this world eschew
personal responsibility and truly consider themselves to be
transcendent. According to that poster, great Presidents such as Truman,
Eisenhower, Lincoln, Washington, who were all humble and self-effacing
leaders, lacked the attributes to hold that office. |
|

[Peace] You do not need to be a grandmother to wage peace,
however it helps.
PEACE GRANDMOTHERS PETITION TO PRESIDENT-ELECT OBAMA Petition |
|
[Unions] You can
certainly tell why the unions are loyal members of the Democratic camp.
They both think the same. I recently saw an interview with a bunch of
UAW members. They were boasting about all the concessions they had
already made. When you listened closely, however, you discovered that
the "concessions" were really just slow downs in the rate of increase.
It sounds like when Democrats howl about the "cuts" in social programs
when in reality it's just that they were not growing as fast as they had
in the past. |
|

[First Rule of Warfare]
Only bring artillery if you want to kill everyone! Artillery lends
dignity to what would otherwise be a vulgar brawl. |
|
Rolling
Ball Sculpture
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dT8pdv0LVY |
|

No Christmas presents for this pilot! |
|
[Iraq] I've been
waiting 7 years for an Iraqi to come up to me and thank me for his
handout. Now they are captured animals learning to live off America’s
workers. |
|

[Obongo] Gee
Ed, I would have to bet that you get some feed back on that one. I do
love this web site. Boy are you in trouble. (Ed: We hate bigotry and
we get hundreds of bigoted posts every month. So our editorial board
figured we’d post just one of them in the Christmas spirit.) |
|
[Ya’ gotta love those
Muslims]
Blind man turned away from Indian restaurant after owner says guide dog
is against his Muslim beliefs | Mail Online |
|

[Development] Not everyone in Key West likes development. |
|
[Prison Food] Maybe Sloan is
correct about the jail food. Have you noticed the mug shots on Monroe
County Arrest Report? Many of our Keys finest are looking drawn and
gaunt. at least we don't have as much of an obesity problem anymore. |

[Looking
for my wallet and car keys]
One for
the over 50 crowd.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJDNsJEnWqk |
|
[And I’m Not Going To Tell You]
You people bashing The Big 3 and the union are so far out of touch with
the reality and the facts of the current situation in American
automobile industry that it's pathetic. You don't even know what you
are ranting about. |
|

[Microwave Jingle Bells] The only thing I can thing is that these
guys must work in the Sears warehouse. Where else would they get so many
microwaves?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgBUqJzgvBo |
|
[Shoe Thrower] I can just see
what happened in Iraq. The Secret Service wasn't facing the audience
like they do without reservation here in America. That was probably so
they wouldn't offend anyone in the Iraqi audience by showing mistrust.
Good thing the show thrower didn't have a gun. I don't care for "W" but
he is still my President. |
|

[Coach] I am not interested in coaching girl's flag football. I
am, however, interested in coaching a ladies Jell-O wrestling league. |
|
The Dan
Band "I Wanna Rock You Hard This Christmas"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54sDzkyhx_Q |
|
[$40
a barrel for oil] Aren’t you glad we didn’t listen to Bush/McCain
and drill offshore and in our parks? The only way I’d approve of a
bailout for the big 3 is if they agreed to spend all the money on
alternative fuel vehicles. Never trust anything your government tells
you because there's always a hidden agenda behind what they do. |
|
[Ford Foreign Plants] Toyota has
suspended construction of its latest US assembly plant. |
|
A plethora (that’s sort of like a gang)
of dreams starting two nights ago and running through naps and night
slumbers sez I’m moving away from this here sheriff and lawyer bizniz
into sumtin’ else I might be able to name but prefer to lay low and see
what actually comes in. As the magnet a woman I dearly loved in one of
my former lives had stuck on her refrigerator said, “We plan, God
laughs!
Meanswhilst,
what I feel like mentioning next today is two movies I saw in Key West
in the past two days. Mention, not review, because to review either
movie would, in my estimation, ruin it for anyone who saw it with the
review in mind. So all I will say is that I believe “The Day the Earth
Stood Still” (Regal Cinema) and “The Boy in Stripped Pajamas” (Tropic
Cinema) should be required viewing for all people living in modern
civilization. Especially all Americans and Germans. Especially them. The
tree huggers will come in their britches over the cool ending of “The
Day the Earth Stood Still,” and I’m not saying nuttin’ more ‘bout den
stripped pajamas.
Further meanwhilst, perhaps I should mention my latest abduction
adventure. This happens every few years, and invariably the aliens
decide after a few days that they made a big mistake and bring me back
to where they found me. It’s really quite distressing, because every
time they come, I say, “Oh, goody, I’m outta here!” But no, it isn’t the
right ETs, it isn’t the rescue. It’s just another case of mistaken
X-File, or maybe wishful thinking. A bad dream, some might say, while
others might say hallucination. More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
|
|
As far as the financial mortgage
meltdown goes, if risky mortgages were the drugs then real estate
agents were the dealers! |
|

Lego today issued a statement which reads: "LEGO UK is not
associated with the toys being sold by BrickArms, which have been
customized without LEGO UK’s knowledge or permission.
Lego terrorist threatens democracy • The Register |
|
[Semen-based recipe book]
This is getting more sicker every day. I figured I’d do my little part.
Mixed reviews for semen-based recipe book • The Register |

“Sprouts
can cause bouts of flatulence
in animals and humans. But I don't think any of us were prepared for a
smell that strong.” Zoo-keepers have apologized to visitors for the
stench coming from a gorilla enclosure after feeding the animals
sprouts.
Zoo apologises after animal farting outbreak | Metro.co.uk
|
|
You'd think the Chinese
economy was in enough trouble without misplacing 130,000 pairs of
boobs. Luckily they were finally recovered. I wonder who was the boob
that lost them.
Oz men's mag recovers inflatable jubs • The Register |
|

Frosty the Snowman’s
baby picture. |
|
I Can't Get The
Printer To Work!
Video |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam
filters will delete it and we can't read it.
Menu |
|
Wednesday
December 16, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Tuesday
December 16, 2008 |
|
(Ed: Sorry about the late publication today. The server was down.) |

No Name Key won’t be getting electricity. |
|
[Read My Lips] It’s bad
enough that the county is forcing Trauma Star financing on us,
but county staff has added an additional insult. Regardless of your
position on Trauma Star, the "repayment debt" money is about to come out
of your wallets.
I want everybody to get up at the next BOCC
meeting and tell them “No” to including the $649,000 "repayment
reimbursement" money in figuring for the Trauma Star millage rates.
Here's why: Nowhere in the original decision to use Sheriff's Fine &
Forfeiture money was it stated, agreed, understood, or even contemplated
that any F&F monies would ever be "paid back". Remember, F&F money came
from criminals, not taxpayers. The millage rate money is only for
expenses going forward. Millage money cannot be used to repay already
incurred expenses. You can't determine a millage rate based on a debt,
because eventually that debt is paid, but the millage rate does not
decrease to reflect that collecting that extra money is no longer
needed.
What county staff person woke up one morning
and told Tina Bowen to add that "repayment debt" onto the millage rate
process?
And, if the $649,000 is not deleted, then it should
be its own millage rate item, so once it’s paid back, collecting money
for it goes away. Otherwise, if the rate is set including the $649,000
then the rate in incorrectly inflated. Because I guarantee you, the rate
will never go back down after the $649,000 is paid back. There is no
provision for it.
We need to do something about this. It’s bad
enough people are going to get stuck paying for the helicopter service,
but they do not have to pay for past debts. |
|

The former chairman of Nasdaq got caught bilking investors in the
largest Ponzi scheme in history. Bernard Madoff masterminded a intricate
scheme where he would pay some investors from the deposits of others and
guaranteed them 1% profit per month. The rip-off fell apart when too
many investors demanded to cash in their portfolios at once. It is
estimated that this crook stole fifty billion dollars. |
|
[Presidential Candidates
was/is convinced that they are superior beings] I wouldn’t want anyone
running the country that didn’t think he was a superior being.
Another poster called Clinton a “megalomaniacal” clown. Megalomaniac,
elitists, superior and ego driven are the requirements to be the most
powerful person on the planet, in effect, the ruler of Earth. No one
less could do it. |
|
[Charity]
Someone in here wrote a post saying that if someone is given some type
of support or entitlement it shouldn’t be done through an agency; it
should be done face to face so you can allow them the chance to show
their humility. How arrogant! That’s the type of smug thinking that led
to the failures of the Republican Party. Can you imagine someone not
donating to a food kitchen unless the head of the kitchen comes before
the almighty donor and shows humility? Please keep your money or food or
anything else you can clutch onto with your last breath. We want to
spare you the shame of donating without your rightful praise and
lessons.
As for me I know in my heart that the people of Hurricanes and
landslides are entitled to help from other Americans. Of course to many
of us it’s not an entitlement it’s a responsibility we all carry to make
the world a better place. I don’t owe people food because they are
entitled to it. I make enough income for myself and am more then willing
to help others. If they cannot work or are just plain lazy then they are
the ones that will have the hard time finding shelter and clothing. I
could never, ever live the way they do, but then that’s my
choice. I will help with what I can and they will do without a lot by
their own choosing. I don't want them to show me how humble they are
before me. But then again, I don’t need the attention and praise. |
|
[World Sex] The reason foreigners
were laughing at us over Clinton’s sex follies is that they don’t think
sex is such a big deal, at least not enough to bring down an American
President. |
|

Rod Blagojevich announced that Caroline Kennedy is the highest
bidder for Hillary’s New York Senate seat. |
|
[Photography Show]
Friends And Volunteers Of Refuges (FAVOR) is proud to showcase Paul
Carmichael as the 2nd of 6 monthly wildlife artists at the
Key Deer Bookstore. Paul has been a Keys photographer, accomplished
pilot, boat captain and dive master is life’s consummate student driven
by and excited by the adventure yet to be lived. A Natural Celebration
Photography Exhibit Florida Keys National Wildlife Refuge Visitors
Center Winn Dixie Plaza, Big Pine Key Now Thru Jan 8th |
|

[Jail Food] At the Marathon facility the inmates cook the food at
the Guidance Clinic kitchen and then bring it over to the jail and they
all eat it along with all the Guidance Clinics patients. The rule is
they have to save a meal every day in case of complaint or a patient
gets ill from the food. I know this because I used to work there and the
food was awful then. They had a menu that was approved by a supposedly
dietician and the Guidance Clinic staff. |
|
[Bail out and Union Busting] GM
and Chrysler don’t have to take the loans. If the company doesn’t want
to make concessions that’s okay, don’t take the money and if the Union
doesn’t want to make concessions then tell the company not to take the
money. They must not need it that bad if they won’t give a little
themselves. The gall to say “give me the money and I’ll keep doing
things that got me in trouble and it’s none of your business how I do
things.” |
|

Human Peace Sign event. Thanks to all who attended. |
|
[Snowbirds] This is directed
at the ones writing in about the snowbirds. First of all, most of us
were snowbirds at one time. We all didn't grow up here. We all came from
somewhere else so quit knocking the snowbirds. If you owned a business
down here you would be thankful for the snowbirds because they help us
make a living so that we can stay down here. They help so that you
can keep your job so shut up! Be thankful for being able to live here
and not have to shovel your butt out of your driveway or scrape the ice
off your windshield so you can see. We are all so fortunate that we can
live here and share this beautiful place. Just make positive
statements. It will make you and everyone else feel better. Smile and
have a happy holiday. |
|

Dog Having a Blast in the Snow - Video |
|
That shoe would be worth a fortune on Ebay!
Thousands Demand Release of Iraqi Journalist Who Threw Shoes at George W
Bush | CommonDreams.org |

[Generic Pizza] Friends made this graphic inviting us over for
their home made pizza. |
|
Help our Local 104.1FM/
U.S.1 Radio DJ ,Chuck Thomas' daughter, Colleen, attain her 15 minutes
of fame. Visit this eBay website to help "viewing hits" draw attention.
Perhaps, Leno or Letterman will have her on as a guest! Super
Holiday Deal! One Soul- Original Owner, - eBay (item 190274307312 end
time Dec-22-08 03:30:14 PST) |
|

[Tips on Tasty Ejaculation] A day or two before oral sex eat or
drink: Pineapple juice, cinnamon, parsley, celery, any kind of fruit.
Drink lots of water 10-12 16oz bottled waters. works really well!
Pineapple Juice 6-10 8-16oz Don't eat or drink: Alcohol, coffee, red
meat, onion, garlic, dairy foods (especially milk), broccoli,
cauliflower, asparagus and chocolate, smoke. More info
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/ejaculate-sweeter.htm |
|
[Bailout] GW does it to
us again! Executive pay limits may prove toothless. Loophole in bailout
provision leaves enforcement in doubt. You can read the whole article
here
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28232631/ |
|
[More
bleach in the gene pool] These men are concreting solid steel
pillars to stop vehicles from parking on the pavement outside a sports
bar downtown. They are cleaning up at the end of the day.
How long do you think it will be before they realize where their
vehicle is parked? Thank you God
for your really stupid people. They bring the rest of us so much joy. |
|
[Sloan] Do you ever start reading
a comment and then go, Oh damn It’s Sloan dreaming again
and you glaze over and scroll. |
|

[Shoe] The whole Arab world, most of all Iraqis, are rejoicing
over the reporter that threw the shoe at Bush (and the USA). There was a
large demonstration in Iraq yesterday supporting the reporter. |
|
NASA Television will
provide live coverage of the Dec. 22 spacewalk of Expedition 18
Commander Mike Fincke and Flight Engineer Yury Lonchakov. The spacewalk
will start at approximately 6:15 p.m. and last six hours. Fincke and
Lonchakov will deploy and retrieve several Russian experiments on the
station's exterior. They also will install a device to measure
electromagnetic forces imparted on station hardware as the complex moves
through low Earth orbit. Russian specialists believe electromagnetic
interference may have contributed to past problems on the Soyuz
spacecraft's pyrotechnic bolts, which allow sections of the vehicle to
separate properly during its return to Earth.
NASA - NASA Multimedia Page |

Sluts, they're so easy to spot! |
|
There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. |
|

[Xmas Lights] Does anyone know
who conducts the residential holiday lighting contests on Big Pine? |
|
[The humbleness one
should feel when receiving a hand out from their fellow man]
Excellent post all the way through, but that line especially is
bang-on. If the incentive to earn your own way is removed, people will
become little more than fenced-in domesticated animals. Without that
incentive the great inventions and breakthroughs would have never
happened and will become very rare. |
|

Burnout in the USA, Europe and Iraq.
Video |
|
[Will it be an inauguration or
coronation] The evil emperor is dead, long live the new King! |
|

[Help Wanted] Position: Surveyor. Qualification: Must be fast
on your feet. |
|
[Bad Taste] As a male,
I am laughing at the woman, or women, commenting on their preference to
finish or not to finish the oral pleasantries with a mouth full. Not
that I have ever put one of those in my mouth, but I can totally
understand. I dated a woman who was always on some nutty diet and
different pills and cunnilingus wasn't very pleasant either. Keflax
made the smell cause me to about puke--never mind the taste. I was
afraid to lick that thing for months. Talk about ruining a very
enjoyable act. Maybe it's just a hygiene thing? |
|

[Tipping] To the person bragging about cutting back on their tips
for waiters: Enjoy your "special sauce". |
|
[Bailout] In response
to GM’s request to call legislators and ask for a bailout for the United
States automakers, please consider the following, and please also pass
this onto Troy Clark, the president of General Motors North America
for me.
You are both infected with the same entitlement mentality that has
bred like cancerous germs in UAW halls for the last countless decades,
and whose plague is now sweeping the nation, awaiting our new "messiah"
to wave his magical wand and make all our problems go away, while at the
same time allowing our once great nation to keep "living the dream”. The
dream is over!
The dream that we can ignore the consumer for years while
management myopically focuses on its personal rewards packages at the
same time that our factories have been filled with the worlds most
overpaid, arrogant, ignorant and laziest entitlement minded "laborers"
without paying the price for these atrocities; and that still the masses
will line up to buy our products. |
|

Christmas diner will be fabulous in Key West this year. |
|
The purpose of
fighting is to win!
There is no possible victory in defense. (waiting for attack).
The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important
than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.
1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll
just kill you.
2.
If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
3.
I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.
4.
When seconds count, the cops are minutes away..
5.
A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter
recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him
'Why do you carry a 45?'
The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46.' |
|

Obongo. Video |
|
[Global Warming] “The time for
delay is over; the time for denial is over," Thus sayeth the Obama when
recently speechifying about global warming. There is a huge and growing
chorus of global warming apostates. For example,
~IARC-JAXA report that in October of 08 Arctic sea ice coverage is
nearly 30% higher than it was same date last year, and it’s growing at a
record pace.
~NASA headline Jan 08: “Solar cycle may cause dangerous global cooling”.
~Daily Tech.com: “Twelve-month long drop in world temperatures wipes out
a century of warming”. ~Yesterday the lowest temps recorded ever
spread over much of the western U.S.
~The numbers of scientists who deny man caused global warming grows by
the hour.
And yet the clergy of the Global Warming religion insist that record
global cooling is proof of global warming. Night is day, good is bad,
up is down, and black is white. Hallelujah. |
|

[The Shoe Heard Around the World] I think the Iraqis will
probable bronze the shoes thrown at Bush. Will they make the Iraqis
attend press conferences shoeless from now on? |
|
If you don't have a sense
of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all. |
|
Blagojevich
still thinks he can continue as Illinois governor even faced with
impeachment. |
|

Louis Armstrong’s Christmas in New Orleans.
Video |
|
Free Personal Finance Software, Online Money Management, Budget Planner
and Financial Planning | Mint.com |
|

[Bailouts] Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch
Brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run
it. They failed and it closed. Now we are trusting the economy of our
country and our banking system to the same nit-wits who couldn't make
money running a whore house and selling whiskey. |
|
(Ed: Thanks everyone who sent in their
Christmas porn videos and animations. too bad we can't publish them.
Ho Ho Ho!) |
|

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/cat0005.html |
|
Be careful reading the fine
print. There's no way you're going to like it. |
|
[Ponzi
Scheme] By now we’ve all heard about the biggest Ponzi rip off ever.
A hugely powerful and popular Wall Street type has ripped his clients
off for billions of dollars.
The deal is that when you sign up, you regularly pay in. Then, some
folks start to take money out. To keep it going, new people have to
always be signing up. The incoming money immediately turns around and
goes right out to earlier signers. That new money is provided by the new
suckers. There’s no investment of any of the money that comes in, thus
all of the money that’s going out has to be replaced by more and more
new people putting in bigger and bigger shares of money. Eventually this
pyramid has to fall apart and the last folks buying in lose the biggest
share. Everybody loses except whoever started the scheme.
The foregoing was an accurate portrayal of Social Security. I hope that
enough new suckers keep signing up to keep paying my benefits, but I
doubt it will last. Wise up folks, the next time the Republicans try to
reform Social Security, support it. The pension you save may be yours! |
|
A new activist group is
forming.
KeyProgressiveForum.com - Responsibility & Accountability In Government |
|

[Cool Beaches] A computer-controlled system of coolant-filled
pipes under the sand will keep temperatures comfortable.
Ananova - World's first refrigerated beach |
|
[Unions] I received a
call today from a NC Senator’s office regarding a proposed piece of
legislation before congress. It is the "employees freedom of choice act"
also known as card check. It is no where near freedom or choice. It will
set a platform for employees to unionize any and all small and medium
sized businesses. I own a small business here and if anyone wants to
make my shop a union shop they can simply write me a check for my
business and they can destroy it themselves. It's late and I have been
working all day, but I invite you folks to do some homework regarding
the above bill and the desire of the new administration to unionize as
much of America as one can make possible. Any person who owns a small
business needs to be very aware of what Obama and company have in store
for his redistribution of your wealth. And please folks lets not talk
about how GW and his band of a**holes screwed things up—that’s old news.
If anyone has any balls they will write their public servants (yes, your
senators and congress folks are public servants not us) and put an end
to this union crap.
The bottom line is: If you don't like your job, your boss or how much
you get paid, quit and find a new job. If you want to open your own
business do what I did--take the risk. if you don't, then don't blame me
for your lousy job and don't blame your boss. You have no right to
demand of anyone the better things in life other than yourself. If you
want it you go get it. The govt owes you crap. Unions owe you crap. They
both will make your life crap. They will control your life not you.
For you struggling and successful biz folks who
read this I truly hope you are aware of this new legislation. If not you
will very soon.
Google: card check or employee freedom of choice
act. You will be shocked at how low profile this stuff is. This really
is no joke, Obama and company need to find cash and he will get it from
you. Do some homework, you'll be shocked at how this bill is voted along
party lines.
You all sleep well. I'm fighting for my right to own my business and no
one will tell me who to hire, pay, fire or manage any part of my
business. If you want my business I have a pen for you to write me a
check. Until then stay the hell out of my affairs. |
|

[Piss on China] Somebody please franchise this guy's signs, the
wisdom needs to spread! |
|
[Bailout] Ford has
spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US,
claiming they can't make money paying American wages. Toyota has spent
the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US.
The last quarter's results: Toyota made 4 billion in profits, while Ford
racked up 9 billion in losses.
Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and
collecting bonuses. If this weren't so true it might be funny! |
|
[Trauma
Star Tax] No, I do not want the county to continue Trauma Star
because why pay for something we can get for free, and public safety is
met with any helicopter service, not necessarily only the one run by the
County.
Dirty Secret #1 is that continuing Trauma Star keeps a few very special
and well-connected people employed, and Commissioner Neugent's ardent
support of Trauma Star is 100% driven by the father of one of those
employees, which leaves a lot of room to question the Commissioner's
objectivity and ability to listen to other opinions. Everybody knows
this, but nobody wants to say it out loud.
Dirty Secret #2 is that not all of the Trauma Star expenses have been
fully disclosed and accounted for. Fire Rescue pays some (a lot)
expenses too.
And how did county staff come up with that current
rate of 8 cents per $1000? Because there’s actually no way to calculate
the current rate because so many expenses are paid by so many different
sources. |
|
[Uterus Vase] That post
was very well written, but it brings to mind a question. If I made a
vase shaped like my ball bag, would anyone buy it? I didn't think so. |
|
 |
|
[Take a Shoe] Bush still has the
moves, but how come the Secret Service Agent didn't take a shoe for him? |
|

[Email while Sleeping] She sent emails to people asking them over
for drinks and caviar.
Ananova - Sleeping woman used internet |
|
[Generator] We're
working to creatively, quickly, and cost-effectively to develop brand
new
technologies to generate usable electricity from the
estimated 6,000,000 trucks and 250,000,000 cars on America's roadways.
Generating Electricity From Moving Vehicles |
|

[Bravery] Don't ever question the bravery of an American soldier. |
|
[Banned Bridge Player
Finds New Game] Yesterday, my duplicate bridge partner and I played
well, scored high, and came in first in Marathon. I made one bidding
miscue, but still it was the best I have played in the Keys, after being
told in a dream in March 2004 that I needed to learn how to build
bridges. Later that day, as I recall, I learned of the Conch Bridge Club
in Key West. Some of the Marathon bridge club players played in Key
West, and that is how I learned about and started playing with that
club, too.
More...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
|

[Slut] You can always tell which one's the slut! |
|
[Coaches
Wanted] Anyone interested in
coaching girls flag football? We would really appreciate some help. Some
of the local schools are having girls teams and we need more coaches.
Please email me if you are interested. Coach Diane
iwffa@iwffa.com |
|
The deadline for publishing is 6am Include Coconut
Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
Menu |
|
Tuesday
December 16, 2008 |
|
 |
|
Monday December 15, 2008 |
|

Someone threw a shoe at Bush while he was in Iraq yesterday at
Camp Victory (ha ha, Camp Victory). To Iraqis, throwing a shoe at
someone is tantamount to throwing a bag of shit. |
|
I did not vote for Obama in
November, nor would I vote for him now. However, that being
said, he is our president-elect and I wish him well. I am
slightly optimistic for our foreign policy futures. He is
coming to grips with reality in regards to Iraq, Afghanistan,
Pakistan, and the war on terror in general. He is continuing
to obfuscate his 'surrender at any cost' stance he took in the
primary in order to get the support of the pinko surrender monkey
crowd. He is really pissing them off now. You have to
admit, it is fun to watch the wacko left throw a hissy fit.
Though I think he may end up doing
the right thing regarding our wars, the social agenda that he and
the Congress are proposing is down right scary. The only thing
he has moderated on so far is raising taxes. The push for 'cradle
to grave' control of every aspect of our lives is alive and well.
The concept that somehow the government controls the economy,
creates wealth, creates jobs, and is responsible for our well-being
is prevalent within the Democratic party. That folks, is
the road to ruin. We need to do everything we can to stop this
from happening. We all will most likely agree that we are our
brother’s keeper, and those among us who are in need of a helping
hand should get one. But, that hand needs to be given
face-to-face, not through an agency of our government. That
breeds an entitlement attitude that removes the humbleness one
should feel when receiving a hand out from their fellow man.
The Democrat base is rampant with entitlement seekers, and the
Democrat leadership is more than happy to continue the handouts with
no regard to the consequences put upon the folks seeking the
entitlements. The Democrat party leadership pretends to care,
but they don't. They want to control you. By controlling
your money, housing, food and health, they will accomplish that, all
in the name 'fairness' and 'equality'. |
Some
things I think, I think.
1. People seem to be less friendly when the snowbirds arrive. I
wonder if its them or us?
2. No more political ranting on here. My candidate won so I'm taking
the high side from now on. No politics.
3. There isn't a better old style car in the entire history of the
world then the 1950s era Corvettes.
4. In a country that's as rich as ours I find it kind of sad that
people would actually think that an unemployed person or someone who
wasn't born with social skills should starve if they cannot support
themselves. My how mankind has fallen.
5. Christmas still rocks.
6. Screw the foo foo drinks. There's nothing better then a glass of
Crown Royal whiskey and water. Little ice.
7. Houses smell great at Christmas.
That’s it for this week. Thanks Ed for the
soapbox. |
|
[First State Bank Sign] That
large sign is grandfathered in and not subject to current
ordinances. |
|

No Name Key won’t be getting electricity at this time after all.
The DCA has rejected the County Commission’s approval to electrify
the island in order to bring sewers there. The several residents
that want juice usually wait a year or so and then file another law
suit or find some other way to get electricity. This has been the
way it’s been going for about twenty years or so. |
|
[Alcohol and Fellatio]
I grinned from ear to ear as I showed my husband the posting today
about tonic water and fellatio. I have been telling him for
years that it tastes bad when he has been drinking a lot and he
refused to believe me. He gets more horny and more demanding
when he drinks and I want to satisfy him less, or at least not
finish the job. When he is drinking and he pushes me more to, would
“consume” be the politically correct way of saying it? I'm
sure you get the idea. He has insisted for years that I use
pleasuring him as a tool to get him to slow down on drinking or I
use his drinking as an excuse not to do it. Truth be known, if
he would eat and drink a more healthy diet I would enjoy the taste
and do it everyday. Yes guys, that's a hint. Girls don't
dislike doing it we just dislike things that taste nasty.
Anything that tastes nasty that is. Sorry for the blunt
wording. Wine on a Sunday will do that.
(Ed, I just posted the
alcohol and fellatio email and realized I was on my husband's email
account. See what happens with wine and emails. Kind of
like drinking and dialing. It was me, he's not at home.) |

Aaron and Alyssa’s newly minted
twins are six months old and getting cuter every minute. It doesn't
get any better than this! |
|
[When my bank gives me 20%
interest on my paltry savings, then I'll tip you that much]
One has nothing to do with the
other. When you go out to eat the tip is for the service you
received. What your bank is paying in interest doesn't have anything
to do with that unless you are trying to live off your "paltry
savings." And if that's the case, I think you need to stock up on
groceries the next time Winn Dixie has a sale. Why should a good
waitress or waiter suffer because you're broke?
The normal tip these days is between
18 and 20 percent for decent service. Then at most places, a certain
percentage of that tip is split between the bartender, busboy and at
one local place, the cooks and prep staff. So after "tipping
out" the server, most of the time, winds up with around 13 to 15%. |

[China’s Snow and Ice Festival] How come the Keys doesn’t
have something like this?
Slide Show |
|
[Kick Alarm] In a
fit of fatherly devotion, a man constructed a device that notifies
him when his unborn baby kicks inside the womb. Even better, he's
training his kid to post on Twitter right from conception.
Kickbee: Now the World Can Know What Your Fetus is Up To |
[Uterus
Vase] Although the shape of the female reproductive organ is
known by everyone from illustrations in biology or anatomy books,
one rarely speaks about it openly. Even more rare are the occasions
to celebrate it. However, the statuary beauty of this smooth
porcelain-like vase of pure whiteness gives its dignity back to an
intrinsic human topic, that nowadays has become the celebrated theme
of over-consumed erotic images. The enigmatic notoriety of its form,
as for it, reflects the true depth of a subject respectfully treated
by its creators. The vase is made of several layers of lacquer and
varnish around a resin core. |
|
Unconditional war
can no longer lead to unconditional victory. It can no longer serve
to settle disputes. It can no longer be of concern to great powers
alone. For a nuclear disaster, spread by winds and waters and fear,
could well engulf the great and the small, the rich and the poor,
the committed and the uncommitted alike. Mankind must put an end to
war, or war will put an end to mankind. ~John F. Kennedy |
|

[Bad Gift Wrapping] Women like to think that their husbands
and boyfriends took the trouble to wrap the present themselves, even
if they made an appalling hash of it.
| |