Archives of Old Kudos and Whiners
 


BigPineKey.com

In order to save computer space we delete all pictures after six months.

April 2008

 

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Wednesday April 30, 2008




Carlos Rojas is an architect. Electing him will be just like hiring a realtor to stop development. Look at McCoy’s (an architect) record or the former heads of the Historical Review Commission in Key West--both architects. They help a project get through the system and bingo, the next thing you know they’re the architect for the project. It's like having a fox in the hen house.

[Protesting just makes by blood boil] I think this poster, like many Americans, can’t distinguish protesting the war from protesting the troops. That’s sad.



[Machete] In the last ten years 5.4 million people have died in Congo. I figure no one cares because they don’t have oil.

I just figured out why gas prices have skyrocketed to almost $4 a gallon and are likely to be $5 before the end of the summer.  The Bush administration is allowing the dollar to collapse in order to push up the price of oil.  This way it will be easier and faster to pay for the war with Iraqi oil revenues just like we were promised seven years ago before the U.S. invasion of that sovereign country.  I knew Bush had a strategy to pay for the war "on the cheap" just like Rumsfeld suggested.  These guys are so smart that I just might vote Republican in November.   

[Malware 1] I scanned all my files and it didn't show up. Then I started trying to figure out if I had downloaded any programs and remembered my wife had downloaded an online screen saver. So I went to the add/remove programs and finally found the little sucker hiding in a program and deleted it. Then I rebooted and now all is well.

Sandra Downs, could you please tell us all why you think you are qualified to run our county sheriff's office? Could you elaborate on your experience? It seems the whole basis of your campaign is smearing the Peryam family. At least Capt. Peryam has a lifetime of experience and dedication to serving this county. I don’t have a problem with two consenting adults having a little fun. It obviously hasn’t hurt him in his role as Capt., he has risen to number three in command at MCSO. I do have a problem with a tree trimmer thinking they can magically run a giant sheriff's office with virtually no experience.

We must eliminate our dependence on oil from the Arabs and big business otherwise they will bankrupt our citizens with their greed. Greedy people have no limits. The only way to do this is nuclear power plants and electric cars.  It can be small nuclear plants as most utilities have suggested. This solution eliminates the demand for oil and will reduce our green house emissions. We will have to find a substitute for plastic. France recognized this ten years ago and has switched 100% to nuclear power plants. All that is missing are the electric cars in France. 

Pick your poison – go down the tubes via big business and the Arabs or take some small risk that can be eliminated by good solid engineering and build nuclear power plants. The solution will take ten years if we start now. This will require our government to help manage this solution. Big business with their greed (oil and car companies) will never do this themselves. As an electric power engineering student 30 years ago we studied this in school and knew it would happen. Do-gooders stopped the construction of nuclear plants 20 years ago and the car companies make more profit on large oil guzzler cars, so here we are up S**t Creek. 

I was touched by the musician who phoned 911 for the failing black man. Philosophically, he's where we should all be. And I'm reminded (on the 40th. anniversary of Hair) of my friend who was a broker at the time who stopped to help the "hippie" on the turnpike, who was having motor problems. Everyone else just bolted by him.  The hippie was extremely grateful and two weeks later transferred his portion of the W.R. Grace fortune to my friend's firm.

I can't believe it! I was sitting here reading the telegraph, fuming over the idiocies of the county commission, the Vandenberg and the schemes to sneak in big money development under the guise of protecting the working waterfront; and hurricane shelter for first responders when my phone rings and it is someone asking me to participate in a poll about these and other local problems. Needless to say, I gladly answered the questions. I hope it does some good.

The truckers in Washington were part of an organized protest.  The main difference, is the fact they obtained a permit to legally protest and sound their horns.  In fact, if you look closely, they were escorted by the police.  To compare them to a few yahoos on the side of the road on Big Pine Key is idiotic.




This guy who is so interested in other men's genitals has my
Gay-dar pinned!

[Truck Nutz] Those are a sad sight aren't they? Well at least you know the brain power of the person ahead of you with them hanging off their bumper.


If Sal Gutierrez knew enough about computers I’d bet he’d be a hacker. (yes, you can use my email address so I can get his malicious and perverted reply) ~usa33043@yahoo.com

[The End of the World!] The Spanish call it "Fin Del Mundo". The Germans call it, "EndZeit". The Smurfs call it, "Smurfageddon".

No matter the translation, it means that by late December, 2012, you might want to cash in those 401k’s and invest in some short-term ventures. Smoking, drinking, and even that crack cocaine that all the kids are raving about nowadays seem like good distractions from The End of Days. (Actually, I recommend any mind-altering substance to be used while viewing the cinematic turd-fest, "End of Days". Schwarzenegger versus Satan? I’m relatively sure Arnold works for Beelzebub, brotha-man!)

Prostitutes are always a good investment with almost guaranteed returns. Maybe all these politicians know something we don’t. Through their White House connections, they’ve discovered "End Time" is looming and they might as well pay for some illicit tail while the getting is good.

Why the year 2012? Them crazy Mayans, baby! The Mayan calendar is a system of measurement that has been accurate within seconds for thousands of years. Most of the predictions that were made by the race were correct. In the year 2012 the Mayan calendar ceases completely. Either that’s only as high as they could count, or we’re screwed.

I’m not sure if it’s just a Mayan prophecy of impending doom, or just a simple expiration date. But the question is, are we ready for it? 2012 isn’t all that far off. I personally have not had nearly enough time to... umm.... uh....well...I...er...Wow. Nothing specific left for me to do. I’m totally ready for the End of the World. Not stoked, just ready.

According to the Christian bible, before the apocalypse, there will be a Rapture. Jesus is going to come and get all the good people and take them up to heaven while everybody else is left to burn in a rainstorm of magma, or drown as the seas rise dramatically, or suffer some worse fate--like being forced to watch a baby-oiled Gilbert Gottfried do a strip tease while simultaneously performing N’SYNC covers as the damned are being dry-humped by their creepiest uncle.... you know...whatever Earth’s apocalyptic fate may be.

Knowledge of an impending Rapture is not the sort of information I should have had as a 9-year old. When a long-haired, bearded dude in a rusty VW bus said it was, "time to go with him", I wanted to get to that Rapture party before Heaven found out about that incident with the silicon caulking gun and the neighbor’s cat. Fortunately, Mom intervened before I could hop aboard "Jesus’" magic bus.

Who knows? The end of the world may not come at some supreme being’s whim, but maybe while arrogantly mucking around with science we might just destroy ourselves. How many experiments are going on out there that may just be one misplaced integer away from us all being riddled with some zombie-virus like in "28 Days Later"? (Although, I would love the opportunity to laugh at the hippie vegetarian gal I know as she ravenously gnaws the patchouli-marinated flesh from her skeezy, skater, white-guy-dreadlock-sporting boyfriend’s bones.)

I dig science as I had stated in an earlier posting, but not all science is government-approved or publicly known. I believe there are literal mad scientists out there that are working on some f**ked up experiments like creating flesh-melting bacteria, bringing carnivorous dinosaurs back, and cross-breeding cobras with bats. Tell me the mere thought of a bat-cobra flitting around wouldn’t make you fill your shorts with ass-gravy. You can’t. That’s like Clive Barker-type stuff! You think I’m kidding about f**ked-up cross-breeding? Check out this article http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2001/01/12/MN158251.DTL about medical researchers splicing jellyfish genes into rhesus monkey embryos.


And robots...don’t forget about the goddamned, soulless robots. I think technology’s come far enough that a malfunctioning droid could go on a homicidal rampage, blasting lasers from it’s eyes and pissing hydrochloric acid everywhere. They would distract you by doing that nifty robot breakdance from the 80’s then Fuh-ZAPP!! Your noggin’s a smoking charcoal briquette. Sound impossible? Not if you turn to those diabolical minds at Honda. Clearly they’re constructing a robot army. http://world.honda.com/ASIMO/history/history.html
I’m glad I drive a Honda; maybe when the robot apocalypse comes, they might spare me. Unless, of course, all Hondas are just "robots in disguise" Transformers and they will all unfold into killing machines at some specified date. Squoze into jelly by a Honda Element? I’m not going out like that, dude. (Yes, "squoze")

Perhaps our number will be up when that giant asteroid finally barrels into us like in Michael Bay’s "Armageddon". Trust me, if that happens, all the best deep-core drillers in the world will not be able to bail us out, (although I think we should send Ben Affleck up there to try anyway.) especially if a republican’s in office. You think he’s going to spare any oil drillers to blow up an asteroid hurtling towards Earth? I can hear Rush Limbaugh now, "The threat is Iran, people... not some silly hunk’a space rock! It’s Iran!" 

Mind you, this is a government who silenced a NASA climate expert regarding truths about greenhouse gas emissions. Besides, we’ll probably already be at war with Iran far before any asteroid comes a-knocking. Gee, I wonder how I drifted from talking about Earth’s annihilation to bitching about neo-cons? Seemed like an easy segue.

I’m not saying I believe in the 2012 Doomsday due date, or any upcoming mass extinction for that matter. I guess I just bring it up as a reminder to not sleepwalk through these days we’ve been granted. Turn off the American Idol, go out and live life, goddammit! Grab some drinks! Dance like nobody’s watching. Shoplift like nobody’s watching. Talk to a stranger. Sleep with a stranger. Sleep with two strangers. Sleep with two strangers and an Armenian midget amputee. Sleep with two strangers and an Armenian midget amputee, film it, and post it on the internet. That’s how you get immortality, baby!

And I’m sure if wise old Papa Smurf foresaw Smurfageddon, he’d be putting the smurf to Smurfette until she smurfed with smurfasmic smurfitude, and her poor, sore smurf was thoroughly smurfed.

"govwatch" is the same culprit. His name is Sal Gutierrez, he lives in Tampa and owns property here in Monroe County that is non-buildable (paid the bottom dollar for the property) and he keeps trying to sell it to the county for big bucks.  He trashes everything or anything that has merit, Neugent, Murphy, Popham. Maybe Sal is one sick puppy. You nailed him, and you have his number. Do you really think he and Coleman make a couple? You may be right? ~keyscares@yahoo.com

[Malware. How do you delete the program file] “Been there, fixed that. Use one of the free Microsoft URL's (usually in green under the description of the site). Depending on the malware, your computer's security software can't isolate or eliminate malware.  Don't pay for anything, and only download from Microsoft - it's their fixes you need. http://www.microsoft.com/security/malwareremove/default.mspx

[The republican way can set oil prices] Are you really so damn dumb that you think any political party can actually set oil prices? To believe anything that preposterous is just flat out stupid. The last few lines of your post tells one all they really need to know about your mentality. Why should any Gov. entity take care of your problems? Take care of your own damn problems like the conservatives do. Try it, it will provide you with an uplifting experience.


I can not believe what I read yesterday.  Sandra Downs out rightly accused a Monroe County Deputy of burning down a house. And to make matters worse, she actually named the Deputy!  This is her campaign?  I am sitting here in utter amazement at what she said.  I really hope that Deputy sues her for that comment.  These outrageous claims have sunk to a new low.

I am appalled at what this woman who wants to be sheriff is saying.  Just when you think you've heard it all, she comes up with something worse.  This seems to be an extreme case of delusion. 



[Honking] I am in a black pick-up and will damn well honk whenever I feel like it at that intersection!

Washington is aware of the protestors. Maybe not specifically in little ol’ Big Pine, but they are aware that people are out protesting the war all over the country. It won’t change their minds though. (Can you imagine Bush or Chaney ever changing their minds? Ha.)

The ersatz Karl Rove asks of yesterdays poster: Yesterday you suggested that you may be dumbed-down, but that your not too stupid.  Please tell us just how stupid are you?  I don’t think that you’re stupid enough to claim that the Democrats have supported drilling here in the USA for our own oil, because that’s not true. The Dems have resisted drilling.  I don’t think that you’re stupid enough to claim that the Democrats have supported building new refineries in the USA, because that’s not true either. The Dems have resisted building refineries.  I don’t think that you’re stupid enough to claim that our ever growing dependence on foreign oil is good for our economy or our safety, because it isn’t.  I wonder if you’re smart enough to realize that as our dependency on foreign oil has grown, the cost of that oil has escalated correspondingly.  I don’t know how smart you are, or aren’t.

I just wish that you were smart enough to realize that the profits you bitch about should and could be ploughed into constructing new refineries and into drilling for new oil right here in the USA.  Doing that would give us our own huge supply of oil and drive down fuel prices.  The new supply and building binge would solve the security problem, and it would generate new jobs for Americans.  But the oil companies can’t drill, can’t build, can’t refine, can’t grow new jobs, and can’t reinvest profits.  Why?  Our Democrat friends and their allies, the eco-political machine, have sufficient clout to stop progress.  I sincerely hope that you are smart enough to realize that what you call Bush’s war has kept America safe from attack on our soil since the opening salvo of the War on Terror on 09/11/01.  It would be a good thing (thanks Martha Stewart) if you are smart enough to understand that now that al Queda is beleaguered, it is being defeated, and that world wide terrorists attacks are on the wane.  I really think that you are smart enough to acknowledge all of the above, but that probably you just can’t or maybe, just won’t.  Anyway, thanks for worrying about it.






The perfect terrorist plan. It can’t fail. Video

I think the Iraqi Military battalion giving the terrorist their weapons, including vehicles and then joining them in a huge party after will be John McCain’s Swift Boat Vets. I mean he did say "I wouldn’t care if we are still in Iraq 100 years from now". Sorry John, but we do. Bush administration part 3? No thanks.

Be sure to mail your return in a timely manner, because this year, filing taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

[FKAA]  I recall making $200 deposits to Keys Energy and to FKAA many years ago for hook-up.  Several years ago, my electric bill was credited with the $200 for having a good payment history.  I have the automated payment option set up for both electric and water, so I should have the same payment history with FKAA, but no return or credit of the deposit.  Why not?



There is something in the basic genetics of Republicans that shows itself by preventing them from being aware of the existence of the National Debt.

No active content can be transmitted in a jpeg, bmp, or other image files. Attachments can carry exe files and dll files. Attachments are the most dangerous.

Key West blog by Bob Kelly http://therealkeywest.blogspot.com/


[The ice caps have melted before] Thank you for making my point about people being in denial about a very real situation.

Sheriff Capt. Bob Peryam attended the Florida Keys Contractors Association meet-the-candidates luncheon at Sombrero Country Club yesterday. He walked over, looked me in the eye, shook my hand, and said, “It’s good to see you.” I wondered why he did that, because I couldn’t imagine him feeling it was good to see me. I could imagine him telling me I was lying about him, slandering him. But he didn’t do that. He looked me in the eye, shook my hand and said it was good to see me. He seemed to mean it.
 
He did mean it. Deep inside, Bob wants all of it out in the open. He wants everyone who knows him, everyone who might vote for him, to know all of him, and not just part of him. This is how the soul works: it wants everything out in the light of day, because the soul knows this is the only way for everything to be righted, aligned, resolved.
 
As Jesus told his own disciples, if they abided in him, they would come to know the truth and the truth would set them free. As Jesus told them when he was preparing to leave them before Pentecost, he would send them something to lead them in his stead. At Pentecost, they received the Spirit of Truth, which led them from that day forward.
 
Deep down inside, Bob Peryam wants Keys people, especially Keys women, to know his weaknesses. What it might be like if he is sheriff, when he has even more power and is a role model for his male deputies and officers. He wants it known that he is vulnerable to blackmail and being asked special favors from women he has sex with, and from their families, especially from their parents. And that he encouraged Courtney Kelley to apply for a job with the Sheriff’s Office, which she then did, in “special ops,” but was turned down, which really upset him...Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
 

The war protesters don't care about causing distraction and traffic slowdowns. They are just a bunch of old hippies and hippie wannabes trying to re-live what was a fun era. They know that what they are doing is futile, but like other liberal schemes, it makes them feel good about themselves while doing nothing about the problem. Peace, love and eternal cosmic wisdom; lets all hold hands with the Islamo-facists and sing kumbia.

I think is would be a good idea for them to pour a reinforced concrete slab over the two or three sinkholes that continue to sink on Key Deer  Blvd. It’s going to be a shame to see the brand new surface keep on sinking. It usually takes them about two years to repair each sink hole. A slab would prevent new damage.

I would like to offer my thanks to Wright (I will not precede his name with a title he does not deserve) for ensuring that  Obama is not elected as our next president. Thank you so very much for saving us even more embarrassment and god knows what else if he was elected.

If the Mayan calendar predicts the end in 2010 and many other psychics like Nostradamus and Edgar Casey also predict the end around that time.  I say, to hell with the state's sewer mandate. The world is going to be in deep shit any way so save your money to buy another gun and more ammo and a few other survival supplies. They will be more useful. And even if it doesn't, we will be better prepared to have another Boston tea party with these arrogant politicians.

As a result of falling polls Senator Obama has finally bowed to political pressure and denounced Rev Wright. Obama said he and the Rev share different world views.

Tina Ramlow is in Kentucky and doing better. She can see out of her left eye and  recognize her mother. She will be relocated to a therapy unit in Louisville soon.

[Monroe Youth Challenge Program Volunteer Katrina Wiatt (right) sits with students listening to a Holocaust Survivor at Student Awareness Day] In almost a mantra “it didn’t start with the gas chambers” is what leaders and Holocaust survivors repeated at the Student Awareness Day held April 11 in Miami. More than 100 high school students from Monroe County public and private schools attended the one-day event mid April hosted by the Holocaust Documentation and Education Center in partnership with Miami-Dade County Public Schools as a living memorial through education. 

After watching a 45-minute video “Children Remember the Holocaust” with Keanu Reeves in the introduction, students also heard Holocaust Survivor Rita Hofrichter tell her story, Channel 10 News Senior Political Reporter Michael Putney talk about prejudice and making choices, as well as a former hate-crime convict Angela King talk about life as a skinhead. Students sat 10 to a table, each with a survivor of the Holocaust who told their story and answered questions with each student during facilitated discussions.

Coral Shores High School Leadership Teacher Kay McKenzie said, “With this new awareness, my students are now committed to working on projects within their own school and community that will address the issues of oppression, stereotyping, discrimination, and violence.” The Student Awareness Day experience was made possible by Monroe Youth Challenge Program and a donation toward transportation from the Keys Jewish Community Center. MYCP is a project of the Monroe County Education Foundation to foster acceptance, respect, and success in the youth of Monroe County. For more information call Sunny Booker 305-797-1328 or go to www.monroe.k12.fl.us/mycp


I had to reload Windows and everything else after four years of using it. It was a miserable experience, but I am really impressed with the performance of all my software. Everything works so well I can hardly believe it. Maybe an enema is good for computers once in a while.

To all peace protestors. Yes you have the right to protest but you lack the common sense to do it safely. An intersection is not the place to create a distraction. Why don't you move east or west a few blocks. You'll still be noticed. Passers by will either like you, hate you, or not give a damn, but you'll be noticed. When I drive through an intersection I'm more concerned with what other vehicles are going to do than with reading your signs. Get away from the traffic light and the cops will probably leave you alone.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't read it.
More...

Wednesday April 30, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Tuesday April 29, 2009

[Dear Commissioner Neugent] FKAA has been estimating water bills instead of reading the meters. My neighbors have had this happen to them too.

My bill over the past 12 months has averaged around $35. FKAA’s estimate was $62.10. That is almost double and it is the same with my neighbors. I was nominated to contact you about this. FKAA double-talked me with water-speak so I still don’t understand what they were saying to justify the increase.

I suspect this may be a sneaky way to permanently increase our rates. Many people have their bills automatically debited from their bank accounts and will not notice the huge increase until it has been established as the new rate. If they were to honestly estimate our bills they would be in the $35 range not doubled. Thanks for any help.

"Blah blah blah...petro products...blah blah blah....petro prices...blah blah blah....petro independence...blah blah blah" Snore.

Is Karl Rove secretly sending posts to Coconut Telegraph?  On Monday we read how the "Republican way" can lower oil prices.  This is taking "dumbing down" too far.  We are not that stupid.  We are finishing eight years of Republican oil policy.  The week before Bush's second inauguration gas was $1.84 a gallon.  On May 16, 2005 the average gas price was $2.16 a gallon.  Oil company profits for the year 2004 were 100 billion.  They have increased each year since.  Whose money was spent to make up those profits? Who pays at the pump?  Half of the oil company profits for one year could cure the Social Security crisis and provide basic health care for everyone.  In fact, the cost of Bush's war for two months (24 billion--12 billion a month) could solve Social Security and Medicare problems for many years.  Please, don't talk to me about Republicans taking care of any of my problems.

The county commission voted to buy some run down housing for Key West’s affordable housing that will need, who knows how much, more money to fix up in order to be rented. Where’s my sewer? Stop spending my money.




Rev Wright: “This is an attack on the black church.” He implies that they should be treated differently but hollers when they are treated differently. He can’t have it both ways. We don’t need two Americas. I believe Rev Wright will be Obama’s Swift Boat moment and cost him the election.

There is another candidate running for Commissioner--Carlos Rojas. His credentials are very good. He is a college graduate, a family man,  knows the problems that each district faces and will not be bought off by the developers. That is why he threw his hat into the ring in the first place. McCoy has to go.  So does Spehar. Make sure you get to know each and every candidate and what they stand for before you cast your vote on August 26.  Carruthers will not be running until after the primary. The Primary is the real test so make sure you vote in the Primary. You have to be a Republican to vote for Sylvia Murphy in district 5, Kim Wigington in district 1and Carlos Rojos in district 3. If all of these candidates win we will have a good set of caring, smart, does their homework, listens to the voters,  will not spend our hard earned tax dollars like drunken sailors commissioners.  These candidates if elected will know that our safety and welfare comes first before restaurants, sinking of ships, airports, government centers, etc.



If you haven't had a chance to see the new movie "Baby Mama" you don't know what you're missing. It's a warm hearted, feel good comedy. With all the crap going on in the world today, it was a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Rev Wright is a super speaker, but when given time to reflect on his snappy remarks I can only conclude that “Reverend Wright, you’re Wrong!”



[The Mormons packing up their holy underwear for The End] The Maya said to pack up for The End on October 21, 2010. The Seventh Day Adventist had three such dates. When each date passed they simply made up another date to keep the flock in fear and submissive.

John McCain is against the new GI Bill. How is it that the Republicans lead us to war, but it’s the Democrats that have to take care of the returning troops while the Republicans get richer? We need to give the GIs everything just like we did after WWII.


You can now go online and enter two emergency contacts on your Florida Drivers License (electronically) which can only be retrieved by a police officer. This came about as a result of one woman's teenage daughter being killed in a car accident and taking over five hours to locate the mother to inform her. This way, if you are in an accident, the police can run the drivers license and have the emergency info ASAP. This is the link to fill out the Emergency Contact information. https://www6.hsmv.state.fl.us/dlcheck/findcustomer 

I just want to set the record straight on two issues.  First: The fundraiser I want to have for Talia is not to beat the DUI case in Court.  It's because Deputy Calhoun said he was going to set fire to her home if she demanded a jury trial, which she did, and her trailer was burned down 2 days before the Court date to set the trial.  Deputy Calhoun did not deny burning her trailer, moreover he told the Judge he was there.

Second: The case that was "investigated" against Peryam 3 years ago was not without merit, nor was it denied.  Simply, the mother did not want to press charges or take further action.  Apparently she relied on the MCSO to discipline their officer, which they failed to do.  There is another similar complaint against Peryam at the moment.  There are simply too many of the same type of offenses to mark this man as honest. I didn't file these complaints, I'm just trying to educate voters.  If you want another Mauldin in office, so be it.  As for me, I am a woman who is offended by his behavior, he's married with children and was having this relationship in the patrol car we supplied him.   P.S. Peryam's gal had an arrest record just like my friend Talia and more than 30% of Monroe County residents do. ~ sandy@sandyforsheriff.com



The environmentalists have been the major roadblock to new refineries. There's a refinery still in the permitting process (out West) that has been going on for thirty years. The government, as well, is another major stumbling block.

I’m scheduled to attend the Florida Keys Contractors’ Association Meet the Candidates get-together at Sombrero Country Club in Marathon. I confess to having mixed feelings about being there. I mean, I’m the candidate who keeps saying no more new development, period, the end. The candidate who says the same for new development disguised as “redevelopment” when the finished product looks nothing like the original footprint. The candidate who says the fragile Keys have had all the development they can stand, and no one who lives here can look in the mirror and honestly argue otherwise. The candidate who says, yeah, if someone owns a buildable lot and wishes to build his or her home on it and live here full-time, then that should be allowed. But not to live here only part-time. We don’t need any more part-time residents.
 
I realize this is an extreme position to take. Alas, extreme measures are needed. We live in an environmentally sensitive and threatened area. Look around at all the houses and condos already for sale in the Keys. Thousands. Do we need more houses and condos here? You will never convince me that we do. Do we need more vacation rentals, timeshares? You will never convince me. Do we need more hotels? You will never convince me. Do we need more shopping malls? You will never convince me. What we need is more affordable rental housing. Affordable by dictionary definition--not by developer or politician definition. Alas, the price of Keys land is so high that it seems impossible for contractors to build affordable rental housing and then make a profit from renting at affordable rate.  Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel




I wonder who was the first person to see Christ crucified on the cross and say, “ Hey, that would make a great necklace!”

Our family has had very positive encounters with MCSO.  You must be a bad guy to be complaining.  The Deputies are top notch, including our Sheriff Rick Roth.  Go pick on the Key West officers and leave our Editor alone, too, punk.








[10 Rules for Kids] http://www.snopes.com/language/document/liferule.asp

Finally a qualified opponent running against Ileana Ros-Lehtinen. I believe it’s time for Ileana to go.  She has done nothing for the Keys and is against opening Cuba. http://www.annette2008.com/  

Sunday was a day off for everyone so I decided it was a perfect boat day. We decided not to take the dogs, so we let them swim until they were beat and put them back in the house to sleep it off. Cynderella and I then loaded the boat and took off. The wind was blasting at 25 MPH so we went to the back country. The backwaters of the Keys are like being in a live nature show. Because of the wind we anchored on the lee side of an island, and tucked ourselves close to hide from the wind. Mission accomplished! We have been perfecting our new boat drink, the Painkiller. It takes a lot of dedication and practice to succeed at this but we are on our way to the perfect one.

While anchored just off the mangrove island we see the wonderful wildlife start to unfold. There were several cormorants hanging out in the lower levels, some pelicans up higher and then we were entertained with an overhead aerobatic display by two small birds that were mating in a synchronized flight pattern. How amazing!

The cormorant is a pretty cool bird. These guys are excellent swimmers because they chase fish underwater. In the Orient, fishermen put a collar and leash around their neck to prevent them from swallowing fish, then they’re tossed overboard to catch dinner for their owner.

This day was definitely a 10 on a scale to 10. But then the boat ride home made it an eleven. We ran into a pod of dolphins and were again given a Sea World show by these amazing mammals. A toast to Mother Nature and to the sunset from my dock made this day one I will not soon forget. http://www.milemarker24.com/




I can't believe that we live in such a beautiful place and people don't have anything to do with their own life that they have to try to hurt others.  I and a lot of others will be standing behind Mr. Peryam forever.  He is a wonderful person. I am a Peryam backer.  I hope
Sandra Downs can ride behind my car and stare at my Peryam magnet all the way to Key West.

If you think Obama’s a liberal wait until you get a load of John McCain. Even Ann Coulter refuses to vote for him. No Conservative is running in this election. They went the way of the dinosaur. Thank heavens. If you want the equivalent of George Bush running Vietnam back in the 60s, McCain’s your man. As for me, no thanks, its a new world.

Reverend Wright is a very religious man. His religion, like others, believes god created heaven, earth and man. Wright said in his speech yesterday, "Louis Farrakhan is not my enemy. He did not put me in chains. He did not put me in slavery. He did not make me this color."

Given his statements you must, or have to assume, he is angry at people who "did" put him in chains, people who "did" put him in slavery and whoever "did" make him "this color"! His god and his parents made him "that" color, his own black African brothers put his people in chains, to be traded for trinkets into slavery to whites. "That" would have been called Really "deep and heavy" in days gone by. Any wonder this dude spews hate from every pore? Read this post very carefully to see if "you" are mentioned. Sen. Obama and his family spent 20 years at church adhering to, following and worshiping under this man. Vote wisely!    http://www.tucc.org/black_value_system.html

Do you really think that we all don't want peace?  Protesting on the corner of US 1 and Key Deer Blvd is not going to change the fact that our brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, etc are at the far corners of this planet where the our government has sent them to do the jobs they signed up for? Standing on the corner asking drivers to honk is not going to stop the war.  Put your energy into something more productive.  When I see you protesting it just makes by blood boil, but I get over it quickly.   




[Malware 1] How do you delete the program file that was infected?  I'm having the same thing happen to me and I can't find what I need to delete. (Lousy Tech Support: You need to scan your computer with your up-to-date anti-virus software to locate the file. Then follow the software’s recommendation.)

[Malware 2] How do you get rid of bleeding edge malware? (Lousy Tech Support: See Malware 1.)



Tax rebates are supposed to start hitting the banks today in the form of direct deposits.  I have already spent mine on ammunition and canned goods in the event of a depression or any other excuse someone needs to come to my house uninvited or if the WD runs out of food from people panic.

[Protestors at intersection] To hint that Bush and or Cheney are even aware at this slightly silly demonstration is an example of inflated self-importance.

Has anyone had any luck getting a large screen projection TV repaired in the Summerland Key area? Mine has always had some wavy lines from different camera angles during a show and the problem is getting worse. Referrals would be greatly appreciated.

 

I’ve found the best way for your computer to get infected is by downloading screen savers, pictures and opening email attachments—even from trusted friends. Don’t even go online unless your security software is on and up to date.

[5 weeks left] Rationing will happen at first then the hard cores will take all foods and store all for themselves. If you and I are not "inside" these groups, we're dead. The racial wars will eliminate most weak Whites, and the Blacks and Browns will make the country a New Orleans all over the place. Canada will declare war against us, and arm the borders, but will fall to the hordes who think they can hide in the woods, which will be useless. Mexico will invade the US, and so will the rest of any third world country. Our military will follow orders as usual, but most will say screw it and head to their families. It will turn into a Road Warrior existence in a matter of days, with all power off, all commercial trucking stopped; all warehousing robbed, and water pumping down. Food will be gone in hours. Fuel too. All Nuke power plants will, hopefully, go to automatic shutdown. Bridges will be destroyed to try and protect areas.  Sail boats will be a fought over item for those who think Water World is viable--it is not. The whole world will fall apart and the harbored hatred will surface and revenge will be the order of the day. Then the bugs take over because the sewage systems won't be working, then typhoid and the other Dark Age diseases will take their tolls. Nothing will have any value except to the nitwits who think Gold and Silver will do something. Money will be burned for heat, medical aid and supplies will disappear in hours, and fire will destroy most cities and their infrastructure, computer systems and data bases. Libraries will go too. Religion will only mark those weak enough to expose themselves. They will be easy pickings. Firearms will only tell others where you are. The ragging masses starving for eatables will strip everything like army ants. The human race will cease as a functioning mass.  All this in 4 or 5 weeks. Then the bad stuff starts. There's no place to hide! 


[Peryam sex scandal] That complaint was almost three years ago] Maybe Bobby has learned to get a hotel room to screw in instead of the back of a Squad car.

Does this show how nuts this Sal Gutierrez person is? He is even after Ed now and 75% of the readers. Go back to Tampa, Sal with your foul, dirty mouth. ~keyscares@yahoo.com

[No Global Warming] Did Al Gore write in about global warming? It sure sounded like him. He is so wrong and is causing lots of bad governmental decisions to be made in order to quiet down the people he has frightened. Can you say ethanol and biofuels? And what about the hybrid cars? Half of them now get worse gas mileage than standard ones, but the government pays big rebates dollars out to encourage people to buy them.  And I know this will come as a shock to some, but the ice caps have melted before- many times, and will continue to do so. If you really worry about global warming- live in a tent, don't drive, lose weight, don't smoke, and try not to breath or fart (reducing CO2 and methane). All I ask is that you leave the rest of us alone.

[War has never solved anything] Except for ending slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism.

I guess since thousands of truck drivers in Washington D.C. honked their horns to protest the high cost of fuel that means there’s people here in Big Pine that want justice. Like the war protestors, they want the truck drivers to be ticketed too. Be forced to drive their trucks somewhere else and think the drivers are nothing more then showoffs. Those damn truck drivers. Another case of America’s free speech being abused, right folks? They don’t like the cost of fuel. I guess it’s too damn bad. Right, whinebags?



I watched the Right Rev. Jeremiah Wright shuckin' and jivin' at the National Press Club yesterday morning. It suddenly struck me that this is Sanford and Son--The Movie.

Ms. Carruthers is gay and she is running for County Commission. Her personal life is her business, but in the middle and upper keys, her being gay will be a problem.  Doing the things she has done with FIRM is great, but that does not qualify her for being a County Commissioner. She has had a lot of help from all of the good people with FIRM.  Ask her what she knew about the problems up in the middle and upper Keys? She, I am sure, does care about others, but that is not the only qualification to be a good County Commissioner.  From what I have heard, she will not allow men to stay at her business, does not like straight women. She is a very angry gay woman, and is using the Commissioner's seat to get to Ron Saunders seat?  Has anyone else heard these things? ~keyscares@yahoo.com

Some years ago, Cadillac Jack lost a large portion of his calf from a brown recluse bite . It took almost a year and special doctors to complete the healing,  but he still had a big chunk of his leg missing. Be careful where you put your hands. They like dark spaces and woodpiles. The Brown recluse is tiny, only about ¾ inch, but it does big damage.

So "govwatch" is the same culprit who does the local sludge fest web site that trashed Ms. Popham.  This dud(e) is even more twisted than I first thought.  Now he’s admitted that he’s fascinated with male genitalia. Not only that, but from what he said yesterday it looks like he may be a pee pee peeper.  Ed, I don’t know if you’re male, female or perhaps a penguin, but this govwatch drooler now claims that he has knowledge of your genitalia.  Judging from his picture, he should wipe his face.  Plus, he claims similar knowledge of 75% of your readers.  I’m thinking that this sad sack may have been running around peeping on cold mornings.  Can he be looking for a little “you show me, I’ll show you” action?  I wonder if he’s a Jim Dandy at the Larry Craig shuffle.  I doubt that he has the intestinal fortitude to admit that he treated Ms. Popham dishonestly, or that he’ll apologize.  He and Coleman make a spiffy couple. ~wmac1@bellsouth.net

[Interest in male genitalia] I too have male genitalia but that does not translate into an interest in yours or anyone else's.  You seem like the kind of person that would stick those Truck Nutz on your car but deny that they are some kind of signal to other guys interested in the same subject. I also suspect that your 75% figure is invalid as it is likely that 50% of the readers here are female, but that is just a guess on my part as I don't pull statistics out of thin air and parade them as truth.

I read with great dismay the true hatred and ignorance of some Keys residents yesterday.  Let me address two topics.  One, you people bashing the cops need to get a life.  Do you have any idea what they put up with on a daily basis? Perhaps it’s people like you that give them a bad attitude.  And Kim, you should know better, being that your father works for the department.  You know damn well that most of them are good people, and are not how you described.  Shame on you.

Second, govwatch05, my making a negative comment on one of your delusional, psycho friends was not an invite to add me to your e-mail list.  You left, so perhaps it's time to stop the ignorant comments also.  Leave the comments for those of us who did not run away, and actually call this town home.


I didn't know you had competition? Ha! Maybe you can sue for copy write infringement. Call Colman! http://www.conchonline.com/

I went to Kingston’s Clam bar this weekend and it was great. The food was great, the pool was great and the service was great and I might add the prices were not bad at all.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Tuesday April 29, 2009

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Monday April 28, 2008

On my way to go play a gig at Geiger Key Marina, I always used to see an elderly black man that fished off of a small bridge and parked his white van along side of the road. On this particular day he was laying on his back next to the van unconscious. Now living in the keys for five years I had seen people laying in the street before. One in the Avenues I almost ran over. But all of them were highly intoxicated which here is commonplace.  This older gentleman, however, was not.  I immediately called 911 from my cell phone and while doing so another party had stopped and was giving him CPR. I was absolutely amazed at the incredible response time from the EMTs. They were there in less than five minutes, despite the fact that I did not even know the actual name of Boca Chica road that we were on.  Later that evening I called the Cudjoe Sheriff to see if this man had expired. To their credit, the dispatcher would not tell me one way or the other.  I told her that I had no vested interest or agenda, I simply would like to know the outcome. I had stopped and talked to him on more than one occasion and he was a very nice and articulate man. She said that she could not release any information prior to an investigation being completed. Reading between the lines, I then knew that he did not make it.  On my way home there was a Sheriff there and three people of African-American descent (I was not politically correct in using the term 'black' before but then again I am still called “white” and have no problem with it.) standing near the van. I pulled over and asked them if the gentleman had made it and they confirmed what I already knew. I told them that I was the one to find him and call for help. They were extremely grateful to me and asked me for my address and info so they could thank me properly.  I was a little taken back by that because I told them, "I would like to think that were it me, that you or he would have done the same so ‘proper’ thanks is not needed." The popular phrase One Human Family should be accepted not just as a sexual orientation banner but taken verbatim.  We are all in this together is the way I see it. But the things I took away from this experience were our mortality and a new found respect for the safety force that we have here.

[Ranting about politics that they can do nothing about] It’s just the opposite, my friend. Politics is the one thing we can do something about. That’s what a democracy is all about; the ability to have a voice in our government. We need information to vote. No one on television is more qualified or more important than an informed citizen. And I read many very well informed citizens right here on BPK.com. Maybe you should continue to read about body functions and let the big guys continue worrying about restoring greatness to our country.

[Gas prices] Do we want to reduce gas prices, do we want to eliminate our dangerous dependence on foreign oil, or perhaps do we want to reduce or eliminate our dependence on petroleum as an energy source en toto?  I think that the answers are Yes, and Yes and Yes again.  Harry Reid has just said “Republican leaders have proposed the same old solution: drill, drill, drill.”  Reid and the Democrats have opposed any Republican initiative to exploit our own resources.  They assert that expansion of supply will not yield lower prices or diminish demand.  The Democrats urge government enforcement of increased fuel economy for vehicles, taxing the oil companies, denying expansion of drilling on U.S. soil, promoting, and subsidizing the development of alternate energy sources.  In essence, the Democrat solution is to make the use of petro products prohibitively expensive.  The Republican approach is to increase supply while encouraging development of alternate ways of providing the energy we require.  These approaches should not be mutually exclusive. 

The Dem idea would, by law, require that the use of gas and oil would diminish. Gas and oil prices would further escalate.  It would ensure that tourists would not travel, and that food prices would further escalate.  Recreational use of internal combustion powered vehicles/vessels would virtually cease.   The Dems approach would require inflicting more taxes so as to support the added costs of government to support the new regulations.  Simply put, the Dem approach is specifically designed to inflict so much pain on you that you will have to forego the use of petro products.  We can expect side effects from the Dem approach.  We would see fewer restaurants cluttering up Key West, no smelly bothersome tourists competing for spots to park our bikes.  Imagine traffic free travel on US1 and empty waters and sky for those us who could comply with the regulations du jour.  Our islands would be glutted with empty condos and empty rental properties.  Voila, our vexing affordable housing problem would be history. The very rich would be our only tourists.

The Republican approach would drive down prices by increasing supply.  An excellent result in the short term, but it might seduce us into ignoring the likelihood that the earth will tap out on oil, perhaps in our lifetimes. The danger is that we would fail to aggressively develop new energy sources.  It’s pretty obvious to me that we need a little of both approaches, with the emphasis on guaranteeing American petro independence while developing alternative methods of powering our lives.

The Peak Oil phenomenon predicts rising prices while oil users bid on reduced supplies of cheap oil. The important part of the peak oil phenomenon is the part that says cheap oil no longer exists. Sure you can struggle to turn shale into gasoline. Or you can burn ethanol which is a product that costs energy to produce and offers less energy than gasoline when burned. The problem is these solutions are expensive and will not reduce the cost of energy. They hold out false hope that we can continue to be profligate in our use of fossil fuels. They allow people to think the day of reckoning can be postponed.

Do you know anyone who has radically changed their lifestyle thanks to gasoline at $4 a gallon? People in third world countries are starving; all we are doing is complaining. We have a lot further downhill to go. And we still won't even try to conserve petroleum!

Ms Carruthers is not running for gay commissioner she is running for County commissioner. What’s your problem with her personal life? She’s the best candidate and I’m very glad she’s running. Through her efforts at FIRM she has already proven her leadership abilities and her ability to care for others. We need more candidates of her caliber. Would your homophobic little mind be more restful if we elected another lame straight person who’s in the pocket of developers?




I’d like to know what business called the cops on the protesters. Using the police to stop peace protest is too third world for me to sit idly by. I want to know what business to shun. People complained about the peace protestors in the 1970s and history proved we were right!

[Protestors at intersection are nothing but attention whores] The writer suggests they move somewhere else where they won’t be so noticeable. I’m sure Bush and Chaney would like that to happen too. In case it’s too difficult for you to understand protest and the Constitution, I’ll write it slowly: the purpose of a protest is to be n-o-t-i-c-e-d!


After
 Chelsea returned from a date, Hillary asked her if she had a good time. Chelsea said she had a wonderful time and thinks she's in love. Hillary said, 'You didn't have sex, did you?' Chelsea said, 'Not according to Dad.' 

Mexican Word of the Day: Bishop. Example: My wife fell in the store and I had to pick the bishop.

So far about a dozen people have claimed to have been there and witnessed someone receiving a ticket for honking their horn at the peace protest. Not one person has stepped forward to say "I received a ticket for honking my horn at the peace protest". Wonder why? Didn't happen? Did cars get tickets for other infractions after they were pulled over for honking their horns?  Maybe.  Honking your horn is not free speech. Your horn is a safety device on your vehicle.

The 2007 Florida Statutes 316.271 Horns and warning devices. (3)  The driver of a motor vehicle shall, when reasonably necessary to ensure safe operation, give audible warning with his or her horn, but shall not otherwise use such horn when upon a highway.

[Sheriff’s candidate associating with a convicted felon] Read all about it. Sandra Downs seems to have taken her defamation claim to a whole new level.  She is now associating with a convicted felon, having dinner with them, attending court with them and wanting to have a fund raiser with the local community to help her beat a case in court.  She wants to be the top cop yet she is supporting criminals. She is interviewing the criminals and only obtaining their side of the story.  Then she is going to blast the cop in the media based on a criminal’s story.  She's the one always wanting someone to come and talk with her; maybe she should go talk to people and produce factual statements.  ~evaniser@comcast.net




[More bar wisdom] Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early do.

Rev Jeremiah Wright appeared before the National Press Club this morning and was great. What a quick mind. He gave all the right answers to the national presses' questions and never once backed down from anything he's ever said. It's such a surprise to hear someone actually say what they think.

[Peace Rally] Keep up the good fight. They threw things at us, beat us and tear gassed us in the 70s when we protested that war. We knew we were right and we still do. Going against the government is dangerous, but sometimes we have to fight for democracy against the false patriots.

I wrote in asking the URL for Sal's site and Ed answered http://keylargo.com/. That is not true.  Click it yourself.  It goes to a website advertising hotels, fishing trips, airlines, and other tourist attractions.  Does anyone know the URL for the gossip column that used to be advertised here? Sal had a banner ad on here with his photo and said something like "Take no prisoners".  It was funny as hell.  I never book marked it because it was always on this site.  I would read both this site and his site every day.  Both are hilarious. (Ed: keylargokey.com)




There is something going around the web about the Mormons being told to have their "Mormon 72 Hour Survival Kits" (which includ their holy underwear) ready no later than 1 July 2008. What is this crap all about?

[Big Pine Peace Rally attention whore] One who cares enough to stand there for one hour a week with a passion. And American’s hope for peace. End the war. Bring them home alive!


[Crocodile] The Croc nest was in Lower Sugarloaf. Turn at the blinking light then go 3 – 4 streets just past the little bridge on the right side. The eggs were taken away for incubation, but mom and dad are still out there, however I do not know how territorial Crocs are. If I came back to find my eggs gone I’d be peeved-off.

Ok, Ok, I read a couple really dumb postings yesterday. Blaming the democrats for the hike in gas prices has no foundation whatsoever. But the scary thing to me is there are still people out there that think that global warming is some kind of hoax. How can you think that? The Larsen A and Larsen B ice shelves in Antarctica are gone. Now the melting of this ice did not significantly displace the ocean sea level because this was 'floating' ice. However, the glaciers all of the world are disappearing at a rate the greatest scientists are having trouble calculating. As the melting increases, the water is undermining them and speeding up the process. This will increase the sea levels rapidly. Some projections say 5 feet within 50 years, other more horrifying predictions call for as much as 20' within the next 100 years.  Most of us will not be around to see this, but if you don't have waterfront property now, you may in the future. The thing is that what we are seeing now is a result of the CO2 produced in the 50's and 60's and I scoff at those who say: "we must do something now". In my humble opinion, it is already too late.  The country of China is quickly becoming like our western society.  I am not sure but I think it is safe to say that they comprise minimally one-quarter of the earth's population.  If there will be a fossil fuel burning vehicle in every garage, we are toast for sure. We had the technology 30 years ago to get away from the CO2 production we have had for the last few decades. It hurts me to hear my son tell me that he is not sure that he wants to bring a child into this world.

Our situation will worsen I believe. The price of food and goods will have to increase across the board to compensate for the delivery costs. It is only to be expected. We can no longer use the term "slow as a glacier" either. The earth has experienced several ice ages prior to our presence. Imagine if a natural occurrence expedites this whole process? I am not a doomsayer but there are other more subtle hints to support this scenario, changes in weather patterns, etc. There was a movie made a few years ago, and while the story-line was decidedly lame; the basis of the climate change has some foundation. The ocean currents are strongly responsible for the weather patterns on this planet. Our presence here is nothing short of a miracle, everything is a huge coincidence. The distance from our star, the single large moon that orbits us, the atmosphere that protects us from extreme radiation from space, etc.

It is a miracle that we are here to experience the incredible duality of our lives. The insignificance of our race vs. the day to day lives that we lead. The joy of achievements and gain and the pain of loss. In the big scheme of things, it doesn’t mean a thing. So to think that global warming is a hoax is pure lunacy. Hell, when they start producing ads with Nancy Pelosi and Newt Gingrich sitting on a couch and agreeing on something that should be your first clue!




A crazy father kept his daughter as a sex slave in the cellar for 24 years. She's never seen the sun! Boy, talk about arrested development. I imagine we will hear more of this

Being a Muslim is being a sworn enemy to all non-Muslims. Their message: Follow the Koran or die!
All of Islam is the enemy and even if individual Muslims do not like it, they have to do what they are told or die!
We are in deep crap just as is the rest of the world is. The Islamic people are out breeding every other religion, infiltrating all countries and using social intermingling to merge into societies.
They will win.

I wonder why some moron would be operating a chipper at 8:30 at night on a Sunday night in the vicinity of Key Deer Blvd and Pond Lane (just beyond the road prison). It's real dark out right now to be chipping in the dark. He must really need to clear that lot before Monday morning!

Someone is blaming the high price of oil on John Kerry and Ted Kennedy? That’s it folks the dumbing-down of America is complete,


[Change] What is Obama going to change? The way Washington does business? Politics? I don’t think any of us are that naive. Chang is only a word. I’ll not elect someone based on a word. If you really want change vote for Ron Paul. Or as CNN calls it, he Ron Paul “Revolution.”

[Voting for the Green Living Awards now open] GLEE is proud to announce that 200 individuals, businesses and policy makers were nominated for GLEE’s 1st Annual Green Living Awards!  The 58 nominees who took the time to write up and turn in a submission can be found on GLEE’s website: www.keysGLEE.com. GLEE is proud of all the great examples happening here amongst our islands. While receiving the final award is a great achievement, the spirit of the Green Living Awards is to share the great sustainable efforts going on right here, right now.  Voting ends Wednesday, May 7th.

The dumbass post I read was that the people that stand on the corner and hold signs for peace are just trying to draw attention to themselves.  I don't think so. The mentality of a "law-officer" is a reality that most people just cannot figure out either.  These rotund deputies that cruise our islands are endowed with power and machismo that most do not understand. When they put on their uniforms and strap on there Bat Belt that has a gun, an ERD or taser, an asp (which replaced the Billy club) and so on; they feel a sense of power and arrogance, in some cases, that we simply cannot relate to.  Just watch an episode of Cops and recognize the aggressiveness they display when they end a high speed chase. Why?  Because that individual they were pursuing has completely ignored their authority as a peace officer. And that in the simplest of words: it pisses them off; and combined with the adrenaline rush they are experiencing---look out.  Giving out tickets for beeping your horn to support a peaceful rally?!?  They are like Eric Cartman from Southpark---you must respect their authority!

No, this is the best country song on the Internet. Trailer Park Woman  by Pinkard & Bowde

Firefighters were unable to douse an early morning blaze in time because copper fittings worth a mere $8 had been stolen from all five fire hydrants on the block. As a result, Jerry Malberg lost his mother’s house near Rock Springs Road. Firefighters unable to save house due to copper thieves

Bad politics, food shortages, human’s waste, oil greed, ocean destruction, global warming; why doesn't the real truth as to why all this crap is happening be the number one topic everywhere: Overpopulation!  Save the planet, get fixed.

I would still like to find my old friend Stan Becher. If anyone knows his whereabouts, other than some bar in Ecuador please let me know.  I don’t think the guy in Indiana is him. Email to terelbel@yahoo.com

The poster who said it was the oil companies’ fault for high gas prices because they won't build more refineries is a moron. The liberals in this country won't let them build new refineries. Oil companies do not set the price for oil. Supply and demand does and OPEC. All oil companies do is look for more oil, but they are blocked by the left-wing environmentalist in this country like the Sierra Club. They are the ones responsible for this crisis not oil companies.

Cops are the chained mad dogs of the administration. It can be in Zimbabwe, Budapest, or Big Pine Key. These brainless vermin have no conscience. They will do whatever their handlers tell them to do. Knowingly, they trample the rights of citizens, and not one of them have the guts to tell their boss "Hey man, that's not right!" According to what I read on this page sheriff Roth lied like a rug. Eye witnesses back up the ticketing.

More than a few years back there was a traffic slow down on BPK, a friend of mine was on the way to the Moose, and slowed down to make the turn onto Wilder. A deputy gave him a ticket for impeding traffic. Ain't that a load of crap?

(MCSO Arrest and Mug Shot site) I had the same thing happen to me and when I tried to access the site it said denied due to Bleeding edge proxy. I found out it was a Malware problem that was downloaded automatically to my program file when I had downloaded an online screen saver. I deleted it and sure enough it was the problem. Arrest Reports Mug Shots

[Peryam sex scandal] That complaint was filed and looked into almost three years ago. It was found to be un-worthy of any action by MCSO. So let’s see, 20 plus years of service--1 complaint--looked into and found un-worthy of any action. Ms Sandy, that’s just not enough to say all those bad things you and Sloan are saying. I could never vote for either one of you for anything and I hope you lose your anger and mean streak. It’s no way to go through life. This will be my last word on any thing you or Sloan has to say.




I called 911 to report a medical emergency about one year ago. They went to the wrong house on the wrong street. I was on the line the whole time filling in whatever information I could. Then the dispatcher questioned me on my location. I stated where I was, which was where I was calling from. She then stated that is not what was coming up on her locator. I then said your information is incorrect. I then retold her my location. They then arrived. This probably cost 5 minutes. The address that came up was a completely different street. At least it was on the same island. If they listened to me they would have gotten here quicker. They are only as good as the technology they have available and the person on the line. Luckily for me time was not critical in this situation.

“It is Incongruous to me that Jim Scholl and Mark Rossi were invited to help the embattled Louis LaTorre by the defense attorney. Are they not drinking buddies? How could an intelligent jury accept their testimony? All three are well known to enjoy their alcohol. Staying out until 2:30AM, drinking, means trouble for anyone, including the infamous three.”
 
(Jim is Key West’s City Manager, Mark is a City Commissioner. Also with them that night was Morgan McPherson, Mayor of Key West, who also testified in Louis’ behalf, according to the most recent
Keynoter issue.) Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel

What happens when you honk for war?

[Local entertainer featured on Good Morning America] Howard Livingston and his Mile Marker 24 Band were featured on Good Morning America with weatherman Sam Champion during a live broadcast from Key Largo on Friday. This marks the second time Livingston and his group have been featured on national television. Last year they performed live on CBS's The Early Show in Mallory Square in Key West. (Photo courtesy of Andy Newman)

[Interest in male genitalia in general] Maybe my interest in them is because I have some, unlike the editor of this website and 75% of its viewers. ~govwatch05@tampabay.rr.com


Ed, what, or where, is the photo on Sunday's banner?  That is a beautiful picture. (Ed: It is the boat ramp at the end of Kohen on Big Pine Key)

The 1940s were so innocent. This is a good example of 40’s entertainment. The Potato Salad song and dance. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DJVSP3N5a4

[Politics of personal destruction?]  The poster who suggests that Obama or McCain would lead by gravitating toward the center is way out in left field.  Obama is the quintessential liberal.  He is the most left voting member of the Senate.  McCain is, at best, a scant Republican.  Far too many of his votes, positions and promises come from the far left of the Republican spectrum of beliefs.  I question what motivates the poster to suggest that the white American voter is “frightened” by “centuries of racial stereotypes”.  Does Obama or his campaign frighten the poster?  Should the poster be frightened by Obama or his campaign?  I ask our readers if they are frightened by Obama or his campaign, should they be?  If they are, are they frightened by his ancestry or by his promises?  Is the poster suggesting that anyone who doubts Obama’s policies, history, or positions is a racist?  Is anyone who votes against or disagrees with Obama a racist?  What does it mean when polls tell us that in certain areas virtually 100% of black voters voted for Obama over Hillary?  I wonder if the posters liberal ethos is validated by supporting Obama just because Obama is of mixed race/ancestry.  Just what in the hell does the poster mean when he says that big corporate Republicans are “gobbling up mom and pop Republicans”?  This middle class pop Republican can find no bite marks with the Republican brand affixed to them.  In fact this little old pop Republican is damned happy to have the big Republican fish protecting my back and back pocket from the Democrat piranhas who would chew up my wallet. 

The poster seems to suggest that our Constitution is in need of “evolution”.  I disagree on this issue as well.  The Constitution, and the 10 Commandments are similar in that they regulate mans behavior.  Each of these foundational structures is nearly perfect and complete in and of themselves.   Neither of these structures can be idly modified.  “Evolution” of the Constitution is simply a bland way of saying that government should be permitted to further intrude into your life. 

I find it cautionary and reprehensible that the poster suggests a moral equivalence between “unchecked” capitalism and “raw” communism.  The poster, undoubtedly an Obama supporter, tells us he is able to look deep into the hearts of Americans and he sees that we Americans know that we are at a “transitional crossroad”.  The poster is urging us to make a hard left turn.  This poster urges us to follow a new Chicago politician who is nothing more than a knock-off of the Pied Piper of Hamelin.  This Piper has no demonstrable record of leadership; he shows us only vague promises.  His record reveals only a devotion to liberal causes.  This Piper has shown us his penchant for choosing friends and associates of less than stellar character--indeed terrorists.  His spouse has denied pride in our nation.  This Piper has shown himself to be an elitist who holds middle-Americans in disdain.  What can I say about his Pastor, “Goddamn America” Wright?  This Piper promises us more taxes, regulation, and socialism. Like the Piper of Hamelin, this Piper’s tune is full of empty promise and can only deliver a song of sorrow for our nation.  This little mom and pop Republican middle class family is still here and will cast at least two votes for the left of right old, crusty, irascible, war hero, and maverick patriot John McCain.

The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Monday April 28, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Sunday April 27, 2008

I was one of the supporters holding signs last Saturday at the intersection on US1. A business nearby (who previously has called the police) and did again, had the police come over and give us a warning for "provoking" the cars driving by to honk their horns. We explained that we had no power over whether or not the people in cars wanted to state their support by honking. Also we no longer held signs saying "honk 4 peace" due to a past problem. Then the police parked right next to where we were standing and started to pull over many cars after they honked. We even went so far as to walk over to the radio station and ask them to put a warning out to drivers about the ticketing. We know they gave some cars only warnings because we asked a driver. The kid who did get a ticket was our friend and the officer saw us talking to him while he was stopped at the light. This seemed as if he was being made an example of; and we neither appreciated this or thought justice was being properly used in this situation.

We have a right to freedom of speech. If you don’t agree with our beliefs then keep driving. If you support us then please just give a friendly wave or peace sign.  I’m pretty sure these actions aren’t against the law. This officer obviously didn’t agree with our beliefs, but since he has a badge and a gun he is automatically allowed to have the upper hand and be right whether or not he actually is. This Saturday we had no problems with the law and things went very smoothly because this issue is the talk of the town. More people than ever drove by "showing support". Also, the business that called the police wasn’t even open Saturday, obviously realizing we aren’t easy to get rid of. We will continue to fight for what we believe in.




[Honking is dangerous] This statement could not be truer. I honked a set of outstanding hooters at my favorite watering hole and received a black eye for my admiration.

The oil companies are responsible for our current plight because they refused to build new refineries. This was alleged in last week’s Congressional hearings. It’s not just us shouting “conspiracy” they are shouting it in Congress. Big oil knew everything that was going on to create this situation. Why should they try to prevent it? They don’t care about Americans only money.


We in Holland cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election.  On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, and a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.  On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with a huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.  Is there a contest here?

It’s refreshing when events play out as they should.  Several months ago the “Amazing Jerry Man” mouthpiece, developer lackey extraordinaire, and putative string puller of our infamous Gang of Three filed a complaint with the Florida Ethics Commission accusing Ms. Sherry Popham of unethical conduct.  Ms. Popham had been a member of the Planning Commission.  In that capacity she had championed rule changes that minimized profit potential for certain clients of the The Amazing Jerry Man.  One wonders if the filing was nothing more than a fit of pique, or perhaps it was nothing more than raw thuggery.  A local web site allied itself with Coleman and published incredibly derogatory items concerning Ms. Popham.  I must note that it appears that the operator of the aforementioned web site seems to have a consuming (no pun intended) interest in male genitalia in general, and the size thereof in particular.  The relationship between Coleman and this web site operator is perplexing. One wonders who is pulling the strings (or whatever). 

The Ethics Commission has ruled that Coleman's complaint was devoid of merit!  What do you think folks, how long will Ms. Popham have to wait to receive the apology that she deserves from Coleman et al?  Perhaps filing a bar complaint against Coleman should be considered.  As I understand it anyone can file such a complaint, and you don’t have to be the aggrieved party.





Guts is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and  having the guts to ask, ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?''

Sloan Bashinsky got his information on the Peryam sex scandal from the front page of this week's edition of Key West the Newspaper which if you haven't seen, can be viewed online at kwtn.com. Sloan got his information there, as well as from the 7 page handwritten letter from the witness/mother.

The problem with people that don't want to admit Peryam is a Spitzer (an impeccable person in public, but his private activities are completely hypocritical of everything he supports) is they perpetuate this problem. Like the gay-bashing Senators that turn out to be closet gays, like the pedophile priests, like Mark Foley, Gov Spitzer and Rev Swaggert.  Do you really think people weren't sick to their stomach when they learned the truth about these "honorable" men? First comes the denial, then the cover-ups, then the shame.

The reason the Peryam scandal needed to be exposed is Peryam put himself into a ripe position to be blackmailed.  What might he have done to pay off the girl if she threatened to go public?  What public funds might have been used to bribe the family? When someone is in charge of $44,000,000? That's a lot of cash to pay off their own debts.  If he can't manage to keep himself out of a scandal, he certainly could not keep an entire department out of one.  The deputies and others at MCSO knew of this affair. What did the "honest" deputies think?  You wonder how demoralizing it was to them to have this tarnish on their badge. And as always, the taxpayers pay the lawsuits. I don't want to pay for Peryam's affairs, now or later.  ~sandy@sandyforsheriff.com

Regarding 911 Dispatchers and the questions they ask.  I am a 911 Dispatcher and I can tell by the previous post this citizen needs some education on how the system works. 
 
When a citizen calls 911 (unless it is from a cell phone-this is a different story) the address "should" appear.  I can bet that the dispatcher on the other end of the bear call knew exactly where the event was happening and was already sending a response.  As per protocol (yes protocol) she asked if the patient was still breathing, she is not there on scene, she does not know that someone might have captured the bear, so she is covering her ass and if the bear was away from the patient, she would instruct people on the scene to perform CPR to try the save the patient's life.  I myself have taken calls from citizens reporting a person "down" with an aggressive dog nearby who would not let the citizen check on the patient.  Do I want the citizen to become another patient along with the police and EMS personnel?  No. As per protocol, I ask if the patient is breathing etc, all the while sending a response.
 
Regarding the poster's call to 911 to report the following:  "I was almost involved in a front end collision with kids who were joy riding in someone’s golf cart late at night".  The 911 dispatcher was attempting to get a description of the juveniles to pass along to her officers so they knew exactly who they are looking for. Think about it…while you are 100% positive that they were "probably the only golf cart on the road (major highway) within thirty miles", if you want the officers to find them, don't you think descriptions of the juveniles and clothing descriptions would help?  Think outside your very tiny box: how about if an officer happens to drive down a street in the area and finds a golf cart, hhmm, and some kids hanging out...hhhhmmm, if the officers have nothing to go on and you are uncooperative, guess what?  Do you think the juveniles are going to fess up?  Dumb ass.  And why would you say such an ignorant remark like "the blonde at 911".  You took the small bus to school as a kid didn't you?
 
My advice to citizens: 1) Whether you are calling from a land line or cell phone always tell us the location of where the event is happening.  2) Descriptions, descriptions, descriptions. 3) Does anyone need medical help?  4) Any drugs, weapons or alcohol involved? 5) Motor vehicle accidents: if possible get vehicle descriptions and license plates, how about driver descriptions? If someone is trying to leave the scene we need that info.  5) Use 911 for emergencies only.  Don't call 911 to report your power is out, for directions, or if you were just too lazy to look in the phone book.  Remember in the time it takes a 911 dispatcher to deal with your lazy ass, someone on the other line could be reporting a heart attack, robbery, assault or their house is burning down.
 
I do not live in the Keys but frequent them often.  I know that 911 Dispatchers can only do the best they can with the information they are given from the callers they deal with.  Some law enforcement agencies are better than others.  I know but it always makes me cringe when I hear more negative than positive.  Remember that "blonde" on the other end of the phone is your lifeline. Help her out, she can't read your mind and she is not on scene with you. Got it?

[911 Responders] It should be easy enough to understand, but the reason 911 call-takers ask the questions that they do is so they can determine an appropriate level of response. For instance, is he breathing?  At this point the caller would then be instructed on how to perform CPR or Rescue Breathing or other form of first aid, if the caller is capable, until an Officer or EMS person arrives. They are also going to tell the EMS unit who is responding what the problem is, instead of a generic unknown problem. That information helps them get ready to move into action when they arrive.

As far as a suspect description on your golf cart, well that is kind of self-explanatory, when they dump it before the officers get there and are running away or hiding. The Cops can find them if they know what they look like or what they are wearing. An empty golf cart on the side of the road won’t tell the officers much after the fact, but you can tell them a lot before they ever get there. I am happy the "Blondes" as you put it, are there to answer the phone when we need them!

We currently need oil. The technology currently available is insufficient to fuel our energy needs. We need a combination of incentives to help our current and future problems. First, we need conservation. Secondly, we need to open up new oil fields. Lastly, we need bio and other alternative fuels. Ethanol is utterly worthless and a gimmick by our government. Conspiracy theories sound plausible to why the Bushies are pushing this.

First, the people who say new drilling will not help due to the fact it will take 10 years are part of the problem. You are the same people who said the same thing years ago. If we did it then we would almost have the stuff online. We are still going to need the oil ten years from now so lets start drilling. The environmentalists cannot stop what the government wants to do. Our overly huge and controlling government does what it wants like a spoiled punk kid.

Second, if we conserve and use less oil the reserves will last longer. With an increase in government mandates and private industry increasing efficiency and using other fuels when possible we can make the oil in our ground last an extremely long time. No electricity should be made using oil. Use nuclear, solar, wind, coal, geothermic, and hydroelectric. Things that can't push vehicles. Vehicles should use a variety of fuels. Not just one thing. What I use to power my vehicle should not be the same thing my neighbor uses. People have different needs some people rarely drive more then 35 miles others drive hundreds of miles regularly. They don't need the same power supply. This would also make us less dependent on one type of fuel.

The US oil production peaked in 1970. After that our output has decreased by 40%. Why did this happen? I think it was deliberate. It did not happen because we exhausted all the easily obtainable oil. The government may want you and other counties to believe that. The US oil crises happened in 1973. I don't believe this was a coincidence or that OPEC shortened supply due to the Yom Kippur War. Why did Egypt and Syria start the war? Why did OPEC decide to limit supply when these countries are not oil producers? Why was the price of food extremely high for these counties? Sound familiar? The reasons you think are only the reasons you have been told which is what the powers-that-be would like everyone to believe. Why do we have a problem today? Because the world powers want it that way. Money and control. Same as back then.

If you believe the government propaganda spewed out by the talking heads your fate is sealed. The talking heads don't pick what they talk about the elite chose for them. They don't get paid for their own opinions. They get paid for spreading what the owners of the media company they work for want them to spread. Where do you think these media tycoons loyalty lay?

We have been feed that oil is a fossil fuel and there is a finite supply. In actuality oil itself maybe renewable. Many scientists from around the world (mostly Russia) believe oil is and was created by a process called the abiogenic petroleum origin. Rationally big oil in the US and the USGS does not accept this process. This would hurt the price of oil and the environment. The oil market has a price premium built into it from the thought of it being finite. This theory contends that oil is produced in different layers of the earth’s mantel and crust then pushed into oil reservoirs in a continuing deep recharge. It is produced by chemical process caused by heat and temperature and possible microorganisms that live in the earth’s layers. This is a very simplistic description you can research it yourself. I'm far from a scientist. I just don't believe things are what they appear to be. Nor do I believe oil is a good thing. It currently is just the only thing. 

If Cape Air could get the Marathon to Fort Myers route going, that would be great for the people of the Lower Keys. I lived on Summerland for years, and flying out of the Keys affordably wasn't easy -- even with Bobbie at Big Pine Travel working her magic. Now I live in Fort Myers and it is a great place to get into and out of. We have a new airport here and the roads are easy for those renting a car.

I just recently went north with my two kids, and we could not fly both ways because of the cost (single mom here) . Florida has an overload of rental cars in the spring, so I rented a one-way car with Budget for 10 days, unlimited mileage and dropped it off in NY for $180. Then we flew back on US Air for $530 for all three people. Fort Myers is a great.

Yesterday’s Stalking Blues post described a new menu file at goodmorningfloridakeys.com — Black & Blues. The second report in that file is about a Deputy Calhoun, who appears to enjoy stalking and terrorizing young Keys women.
 
The second report came into being after two Keys women contacted Sandra Downs and told her their stories. I then met with Sandy and one of the women, Talia, for a couple of hours one night, and came away very upset. My ensuing dreams did not attempt to persuade me not to be upset.
 
Sandy called me yesterday morning with an update. Talia had called her to say “Mayor DiGennaro's daughter, Bianca” had told her that she, too, is being stalked by Deputy Calhoun. I told Sandy that Mario needed to be notified, and said I would call him, which I then did. He answered the phone, and was with his wife. I told them what I had heard; said I was convinced it was very serious, there is something really wrong with this deputy, and for them proceed accordingly. I did not hear anything back, but knowing Mario, I imagine he is looking into it. His family is precious to him, and I seriously doubt he is going to let any harm befall Bianca, if he has anything to say and do about it.  http://goodmorningfloridakeys.com/?page_id=308



A billion seconds ago
I was getting high; 360 seconds ago I was getting high. It is an evil circle I tell you.

[Honking is dangerous] I can’t believe I read that.

[Gay running for office] There will be those who are bothered by it, but you can't fix that.  So long as nobody comes up with charges that you've been trolling public restrooms and the like, it can be kept a low-key issue.



Papa John is not Italian. It is a cruel hoax!

[911 complainer]  The person who answers the phone is not the same person who dispatches fire, rescue, or police.  While that person is gathering information, a second person is monitoring and dispatching.  So while it may seem like it's delayed due to the questions, someone else has already put the assistance call out.  Also, Monroe County deputies have in-car computers and can see the calls coming up before they are even dispatched.

Domino effect?  Islam?  It seems that sometimes folks have a flash of inspiration that drives them to shoot off a pithy sentence or two to this site for posting.  These folks seem to think that they have captured some cosmic truth or perhaps a cosmic irony.  Yesterday a poster made an attempt at irony by linking Communism, the domino effect and Islam as some sort of tail chasing metaphor crafted to label the three a foolish exercise.  Just a tiny bit more thought would reveal that not all of Islam is our enemy.  Is it not true that we were attacked in our home and that thousands of us were killed?  Is it not true that there are legions of fighters sworn to annihilate us in holy war?  Of course it’s true, but it’s not all of Islam.  Our enemy is Muslim fundamentalist terrorists, and terrorists of any stripe.  Our aggressive policies have caused us to be free from attacks on our soil since 9/11.  Other Democratic nations have not fared so well.  We are defeating the Fundamentalists.  To minimize or ridicule the threat is sophomoric and counterproductive.

[Honkers for Peace] The protesters at the intersection are nothing but attention whores.  Hey look at me! - look at me!  They could easily move 300 yards down the road and protest but people wouldn't get the eye-contact time they get on the corner where they are becoming a public nuisance and a distraction for drivers.  Now if they wore skimpy bikinis and thongs, they would amp up the attention they get.  This could be awful.  Honk Off.

Let's be honest here. The only real candidates for Sheriff are Bob Peryam and Phil Mandina and the former DEA guy.  Anyone who thinks otherwise is only kidding themselves.





I noticed today that I can't access the MCSO Arrest and Mug Shot site any longer, nor the Current Inmate site. Did somebody piss the Sheriff off? Menu >
Arrest Reports Mug Shots

America needs to leave the politics of personal destruction in her wake and move past the notion that to support one candidate we must annihilate the other. With the reality of Hillary fading, the truth is either John McCain or Barack Obama would be a decent president. Both men would gravitate toward the center and both will do the best they can to deal with a copious list of issues and dilemmas. God help either when elected.

In this contest, white America faces two fundamental questions. (A) Can we move past our innermost fears spawned by centuries of racial stereotypes? And (B), can we accept the not-so-apparent reality that big corporate Republicans are gobbling up mom-and-pop Republicans, along with middle-class America?  Are the extremes and abuses of unchecked capitalism any less dangerous than those of raw communism? If America has truly lost her luster and sparkle, should our criteria for leadership become more forward-looking as well? History tells us governments, like all living species, evolve or face extinction, and deep in out hearts, Americans know America is at a transitional crossroad.

This is the election where Americans need to check their anger and bias at the door, cut through the campaign spin and nonsense and really think and listen. Maybe the real choice isn't between old and new; or change versus establishment. Throughout history, most governments have ended because of implosion. Just perhaps, the more pressing and sobering question for America is between implementing real leadership change versus the road to disaster.

[Dog with hip dysplasia] I'm a vet tech and started my Lab on supplements when he was around 8 yrs old and he lived to almost 16. Up until his last days he still took his daily walks.  I did a lot of research and the best one I found was triple strength Glucosamine Chondroitin with MSM formula from Vitamin Shoppe, you can get it online.  For the 1st 4 weeks 2 tabs in AM 1 in PM then you can go to 1 AM & PM.  This is also depending on weight of the animal, mine was 60 lbs.  I'd be happy to help you if you have questions, email me flakeysgurl@aol.com.  Some dogs do not react well and have a peeing problem so it all has to be based around each animal. The supplements should be taken with meals.  And a quality Fish oil capsule is good for the joints.  Our local health food store has some.   

I stopped in the Pet Shop at Winn Dixie (I can't remember their name) and what a great store.  Good selection, good prices and friendly staff.  Keep it up and I'll be back.



The food shortage is the best thing that has ever happened to America. Have you taken a look at the number of porkers in this country? They could go a few months without food and still be in the "obese" category. I do worry, however, about some of those folks running out of food and eating their young, but maybe that's a good thing.

[China and India can’t afford to buy oil at current prices] China just cut a huge deal with the Saudis for increased production.

Thank you for the posts on Gator Air, they saved my vacation. We had booked a flight from Fort Lauderdale to Key West but after reading about all the trouble people were having I thought I should call to verify that the flight was still leaving on time. We called and called, but they all went immediately to voice mail. I left a number for them to call me back, but that never happened--so we canceled (via voice mail again) and drove down. I can also confirm that the man who originally answered the phone was both rude and unprofessional. This is the reason I read the Coconut Telegraph, for information I couldn't get anywhere else.

The demonstrators on Big Pine have asked that people not to honk anymore.  The people who honk do so on their own. It is important to remember that the group is there to show support for the troops and a desire to bring them home as soon as possible. The war in Iraq was an obvious misguided mistake, but since we are there, to just suddenly pick up and leave the chaos that we created would be yet an additional irresponsible act.

Google Earth streams the world over wired and wireless networks enabling users to virtually go anywhere on the planet and see places in photographic detail.  This is not like any map you have ever seen.  This is a 3D model of the real world, based on real satellite images combined with maps, guides to restaurants, hotels, entertainment, businesses and more.  You can zoom from space to street level instantly and then pan or jump from place to place, city to city, even country to country. Get Google Earth.  Put the world in perspective. http://earth.google.com

[Have to read about some moron’s body functions] I would rather read that then boring diatribes from people with no life ranting about politics that they can do nothing about. This site has too many people that are just like old dogs- they sit chained on their porch and bark at everything that moves.

~Dan Schwab

[You’ve got to really hate your job] Daniel Kuch of Chicago had a friend shoot him in the shoulder so he could get time off work and was arrested for telling police that it was a drive-by shooting.


This is "How Not to Launch a Boat". A female student working with the local police department was trying to launch the police boat when she obviously did something wrong. Ah, woman drivers!

Peter Lynch, WD CEO, quietly came and went in less than 15mins. WD is changing, but how? For better or worse?

Yesterday's writer indicated that running gay is okay.  Then why is Heather Carruthers not announcing she's gay, what happen to gay Pride? Could it be that Upper Keys people and Marathon folks will shun her? Will the few Bible thumpers we have in the Keys not pull her lever? We know all the queens in Key West have her vote, that's not the issue.

There is way too much negativity on this website.  Here is something that deserves positive comment:  Winn Dixie is better than ever with helpful workers every way you turn.  It is clean and inviting inside and out.  Hell, even half the chickens are gone.  And a pharmacy!  Competition people?  Stop finding every dark side to a new and better improvement.  Congratulations Winn Dixie, make it last!

Somewhere, someplace, a guy from OSHA , Cat, and/or a major railroad safety officer is looking at these photos and having chest pains. There exists in this world all sorts of backhoe operators.  Very lousy, lousy, fair, pretty good, good, damned good and then this guy who is in a league of his own.   

 

I have to laugh, gas prices are high which the democrat party has caused by obeying their big time donors, the radical left environmentalist. Food prices are high and there are food shortages all over the world thanks to the greenies and the global warming lie (crops for ethanol). I hope the prices go even higher then people will finally realize that the limousine liberals (Kerry, Obama, Kennedy, Hillary) are actually laughing while you work two jobs to pay your bills. Did you know that the democrat leader of Congress, Pelosi doesn’t even know the price of gas? Working for the little people.



Watch as Mars moves past the heads of the Gemini twins in the next few days, while Procyon watches from below. The blue 10° scale is about the size of your fist held at arm's length.

[Little traffic] Excellent choice happy hour, then we will have one more drunk on the road. I'm just glad it doesn't take me 20 minutes to get out on the highway anymore.

Does anyone know the URL for Sal's site?  I typed in keylargo.com and a tourist site popped up advertising hotels, fishing etc.  I always just clicked on it here when he advertised on here. (Ed: keylargokey.com)

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Sunday April 27, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Saturday April 26, 2008

My water bill was doubled because they "estimated" it. If FKAA were honest they would have estimated it based on my past bills. This estimate was double my highest water bill. There is a scam going on at the Aqueduct Authority. People have been complaining about their phony estimates for two months now and they still are intentionally ripping us off to fill their coffers. What other explanation can there be? People have been complaining about this and they still persist with this blatant theft of our monies. Who can we complain to in order to bet them to start reading the meters again?


Bush is going to start mailing his rebate checks Monday in order to stimulate the economy. That’s like putting a band-aide on an amputation. I’m buying gas and food with my rebate.

Ethics complaint against former Planning Commissioner Sherry Popham has been dismissed. The complaint was brought by Jerry Coleman who she said filed the complaint as a distraction from the issues of the taking of the working waterfront.





In the 1950s Americans fought communism and now America's enemy is Islam. “It’s the domino effect.”

A verbatim typed reproduction of the 7-page handwritten complaint filed against Sheriff Captain Bob Peryam, which was the basis of the front-page article in the current issue of Key West the Newspaper, is now posted in the new "Bob Peryam/Kelley" Family File at goodmorningfloridakeys.com. What most baffles me is it appears from KWTN’s article that the Sheriff’s Office took Bob Peryam’s word for what happened, even though it was looking at a very detailed handwritten complaint that very likely could not have just been dreamed up, a good bit of which could have been verified or disproved by the Sheriff’s Office simply speaking with the complainant’s family members and their neighbors. 
http://goodmorningfloridakeys.com/?page_id=306

I can’t believe how little traffic there is on US1. It just stopped a couple of weeks ago. Stopped dead! I’m glad I’m not a merchant. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll go to happy hour today and help the local economy.

Where is that croc nest on Sugarloaf?  My kid's swim there. I thought the American Croc was a non-aggressive type.  But I am sure when it is nesting you don't want to be anywhere near that.  I saw something on the news yesterday about how they are thinking about taking them off the endangered species list. I think I will have my kids go to the pool instead!

The evidence? What evidence? Bob Peryam is a good man. I have seen nothing to change my mind. Sloan, you say some mean things and keep repeating the "The Evidence" kind of like “Da Plane, da Plane!” I keep asking where's the beef, where's the beef? Oh, they are hiding it someplace close two Area 51. I see; and we never put a man on the moon and we blew up the World Trade Towers.

[Hip Dysplasia] It comes from 1-800-Pet-Meds.  If you Google it you will find the web address.  The pills are called super joint enhancer.   You dose them based on the dog's weight.   I don't know anyone who has a dog who has not been helped by these pills

It appears the sheriff candidate Captain Bob Peryam got caught with his pants down, literally.




I went into the gas station today and asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

Kudos to Mark the car repair man.  He has a talent for electrical systems and boy am I glad!  He's on around the back of the Big Pine Napa.


I seriously need a deep tissue massage. I’m even thinking about buying a "package" of many massages for a discounted price.  Does anyone have excellent recommendations (besides the spa on Cudjoe)?

Has anyone checked out Sal's site lately? He is now covering more information on all of The Keys and not just Key Largo.  Check it out and scroll all the way down.  He has some on Key Largo, Marathon, Big Pine and right down to Key West.  Great job, Sal.  You have a lot of fans here.  You will print what others fear.











[Gay running for office] Who cares? Anybody's better than the three clowns we have now.

Yesterday a poster continued to argue that reducing consumption of energy will drive petro prices down.  He argued that China and India cant afford to buy oil at their currently sky high prices.  The poster is flat wrong on both counts.  China supplied its fuel needs for decades from domestic fields but rising demand made the country a net importer in the late 1990s. Imports now account for almost 50 percent of consumption.  In 2007 China’s annual oil import totaled 1.1 billion barrels, up 12.3 percent from the 2006 total.  2008’s imports will increase by more than 11%.  China is expected to overtake the United States as the world’s top carbon emitter this year and the largest energy consumer soon after 2010.  The stats on India are similar.  The fact is that we are in competition with China, India, and the rest of the increasingly energy hungry world for crude oil.  What we don’t buy, others will. The oil exporting countries ensure their huge profits by limiting production. We are competing for a finite supply. 

The poster is wrong about eco warriors.  First, eco warriors have prevented harvesting of forests in scores of locales nation wide.  You know it, I know it.  Second eco warriors are the single most strident impediment to any exploitation of any natural resource.  The eco warriors and their political machine may or may not be able to actually quash progress, but they sure as hell can impede it.  Remember it takes time to develop resources such as Bakken.  The poster is wrong on his portrayal of the Bakken oil formation. He’s wrong on its size, it’s value, and its exploitation potential.  Estimates as to its recoverable resource vary; each estimate is predicated on the technology to be used in its exploitation.  Estimates range from about 2 billion bbl to over 400 billion bbl.  For reference: in 2005 we imported 3.67 billion bbl's of crude.

I acknowledge that these numbers are all over the ball park, but I didn’t make them up.  Check them out, do your own research, it’s easy.  The low numbers consider use of current technology; the higher numbers consider the use of advanced technology.  There is no doubt that the current and soon to be oil prices will reward the companies that will exploit oil from Bakken.  The flow of oil could begin before the end of the decade and will likely continue for 2 or more decades.  The poster is correct if he is suggesting that it is imperative that we initiate measures to quench our energy thirst with something other than petroleum.  Petroleum is believed to be a finite resource, although some argue to the contrary.  If we are to avoid catastrophe we must develop and exploit our own petro resources as a bridge to a time when we are not dependant on imported petro products.

You’ve got to hate those government inspectors (paid for by our taxes). It seems to have hit the headlines that gas pumps don't always dispense the true amount of fuel and "cash strapped counties" across the nation don't have enough inspectors to make sure the oil companies are dispensing the indicated amounts of fuel. Read my lips: No More Taxes. Give the oil corporations another break? They only made record profits last year and I'm happy to donate my 6 cents a gallon to corporate welfare. Better that than paying taxes to my government.

Here’s a prediction. Oil prices will keep escalating throughout the summer and right before the elections good ol’ oil buddy George will miraculously get the oil companies to drop their price gouging; and say it was the plan all along and let us all know how the great republican party handled the oil cost problem. Then if another republican gets into the White House another major event will "force" the oil companies to jack us off. I mean jack up the prices again. Don’t be fooled America.

I love a huge government and my party the Republican party is giving me exactly what I want. My country’s government has never, ever been this large and had this much control in American history. As for taxes. So what? Dick Cheney said it best "deficits don’t matter". I have no problem sending my hard earned money to the Communist Chinese in the billions of dollars just for the interest on their loans. I love the big oil companies getting huge tax breaks even when they are recording record profits. Yup, Its great to be a republican in today’s America. Let someone else foot the bill for my tax breaks. Hell, lets let the next generation worry about the bill. It’s great spending their money for them. It’s like wealth redistribution for Americas future generations. If they don’t like it they can get out. Long live the Bush administration. Americas finest in over 50 years.

Sunday, April 27th Coconuts will host a Benefit for the Kaestner Family. Bill and JoAnne and family lost everything in a house fire. Our community is gathering to help them recover, so please join us! The Moose and Pigs in Paradise will be supplying the food and a ALL STAR line-up in the music department will keep you in the mood all day long. Brian Roberts, Bo Fodor and Coconut Thunder and lets not forget T.C. and the PIE Band. 50/50 raffles and silent auctions will be going on all day long. This will be a great way to spent your day and a few bucks and help a Pine Key Family that has come on some very hard times. Don't just hear  about it--be there! Bulletin Board



Lost Cargo is open with a big truck load of vine ripe tomatoes and fresh produce. Open until 6:00 today.

The Southernmost Chapter of ABATE will hold our May meeting on Sunday, May 4th at 11am, at Boondocks, mm27.5. All bikers in the Keys are welcomed to attend. At this meeting members will be firming up board nominations for the 2008-2009 year, for our local chapter. We will  also be finalizing plans for our annual Memorial Day ride, to be held May 25th. This ride starts in Key West, and bikers  will journey up the Keys with special stops. Riders will pay tribute to fallen brothers and sisters as well as honoring our lost troops and personal family members. For more information please call Dixie Lee Henckel at 305 797-0474. Bulletin Board


I find it hard to believe that all tea comes from the same plant. It is a matter of which leaves you use and how they are processed.

[Food Crisis] If you believe the legitimacy of this, come here and I will sell you the 'Chain Bridge' in Budapest cheap. Has the world such short memory that we forgot the fuel shortage of '73. That was engineered by the oil companies and OPEC. Now we are to believe that another commodity that we can't live without is in short supply? I happen to know that in the USA, storage facilities are stacked to the rafters. 

Farmers are paid not to plant. Here in Hungary the government wants to take out more and more arable land from agriculture. My cattle business went tit's up because the middle man wanted to pay me less than what it cost me to raise the critters. Yet the price of grade A beef is sky high. This is ideal country to produce fruit. The other day at the market I saw strawberries that were imported from Spain--more than 2000 miles from here. The price almost matched the mileage. As soon as the unrest and chaos begins the middle men will reap a bountiful harvest. As soon as food prices stabilize at three times what they are now, there will be plenty of it. What happens to the people on the lower end of the scale? Those greedy bastards don't give a crap.










Sports drink commercial Video

[Honking is dangerous] At any time, did any of the war protestors consider how dangerous it could be to have people honking their horns at a four-way intersection?  The light on Big Pine, on Saturday afternoons, is one of the busiest intersections on US1.  Now put yourself in the shoes of an elderly Piner whose only focus is safely navigating the intersection.  Suddenly, a car goes by laying on his horn.  See where I'm going with this?  I don't know whether or not the cops were writing tickets.  But if they were, I highly doubt it had anything to do with "war mongering."  I support free speech and the right to protest, but you people need to stop thinking so selfishly and look at the bigger picture.

[911 Responders] Why does it always sound like some little "Valley Girl", or prepubescent-type that can never cut to the chase?

Example, the recent bear attack in California:  "Is the person breathing?" (now, let me get in there between him and the bear and find out).  Whether he is or isn't breathing; does that mean you send the coroner or an emergency response unit?

The recent alligator that strayed into the lady's kitchen: "Are you sure that it isn't an iguana?"  Anything that big still needs a response.

I was almost involved in a front end collision with kids who were joy riding in someone’s golf cart late at night, with no lights. In the dim, the blonde at 911 wanted to know what the kids were wearing. "Lady, it's probably the only golf cart on the road (major highway) within thirty miles. Who cares what they were wearing?"

My advice to them: Get the address, send a response unit, and then satisfy your curiosity. The response unit can always make a U -turn enroot.

[Should a homosexual declare when running for office] Sure you’ll get more votes in Key West.

Chaney recognizes global warming. He calls it spring.

[Gator Air] How about someone from Marathon City government telling us what the hell is going on? Why they are just taking our money?



I’m going out to the highway to honk for peace and then buy some tomatoes at Lost Cargo. Honk, honk!

[One Man's Good Fight] I don't care who you are-that was funny!

Paul C. Broun, a Georgia Republican, has introduced a bill to prohibit the sale of "sexually explicit" material on military installations. "Our troops should not see their honor sullied so that the moguls behind magazines like Playboy and Penthouse can profit," Broun said in a statement. Broun said his proposed Military Honor and Decency Act is needed to close a loophole that allows the sale and rental of sexually explicit material on military bases in the United States and abroad.

You mean that I cannot say, "This is my rifle, this is my gun, this one’s for shooting, this one’s for fun” any longer? Golly gee, Sir, my rifle is my favorite sex symbol do I have to give her up too?  Semper this!

Could our waste water problems be simplified with this technology? http://www.bioshaft.com/





[Dog with hip dysplasia] Get your owner to give you glucosamine chondroitin. It takes about 6 weeks until you will notice a difference. You can use the people version from CVS or Walgreen’s. Also, some Omega 3 will help. You can also go online and order from Doctors Foster & Smith. The amount you take will depend on your weight and it is best taken when you eat. Feel better 'poochie'.

[Gay candidate] Geeze, this is 2008 not 1808. Who the hell cares about someone's sexual preference? How can that affect their job? I'm glad they're out of the closet and being honest. If the other politicians that are closet gays would only be honest and come out we'd all be better off.



[One Man's Good Fight] Has this site sunk so low we have to read about some moron’s body functions?

[Square grouper] I remember back in the day of fondly listening to my scanner. A “signal 30” was a square grouper. Ah, the good old days.

Redneck BBQ

[homosexual running for public office]  That's pubic orifice.

Radically reducing consumption will stop the price rise in oil? And who told you that they can't stop Weyerhaeuser from cutting virgin timber, perhaps not 100%, but very restrictively. And sir, your assertion that one would look to a politician to lead one out of this wilderness, indeed borders on insanity. Now having said that, please set aside the Dem. Rep. Lib. Cons. issue for a moment and try to just cover a few points. We’re not going to solve the problems of the universe on this post.
No. 1 Anwar, a totally remote place if ever there was one, which contains much more oil than was first thought. With today’s drilling techniques and regulations, when the drillers left no one would have a clue they had ever been there.
No 2 Alberta oil sands 175 billion proven oil reserves. We have shale in Colorado Utah and Wyoming.
No 3 Bakken field is 10 times larger than Anwar.

Think 100 years ago to the original Wildcatters. That’s the attitude and grit that one needs. Of course this is all stifled in our political morass. Also Brazil has reported a huge oil discovery, which was in the news this week and I have not researched yet. If you think ethanol or wind is going to get us out of this mess, I got a restaurant I would like to sell you on Duval. I am a believer in conservation, but I also face reality. Until we get the holy grail, hydrogen or other, we are up a creek without oil.

The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.

Saturday April 26, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Friday April 25, 2008


President Bush is getting ready to ask for another $108,000,000,000 for the Iraq war. But as we all know, building a Theocracy for Allah isn’t free. The democrat Congress will moan and groan and make impassioned speeches against it, but of course, they will all vote for it.

Radically reducing consumption will stop the rise in price. Chinese and Indian economies cannot afford to buy oil at sky-high prices else their products will price themselves out of the market- they are predicated on low prices, not on high quality.

The notion that huge oil reserves exist in the US and adjacent waters and is not being exploited because of ecological concerns makes no sense. Eco warriors can't stop Weyerhaeuser from cutting virgin growth forests. If Oil corporations want oil they will get it. The question is whether the reserves justify the costs and the risks. Its called return on investment and it is mathematical not political. The Bakken reserve under North Dakota and Montana would, at the most optimistic prediction, satisfy US petroleum needs at current consumption levels for six months; and it would likely take 20 years to extract. Do you seriously think North Dakota isn't begging Big Oil for a bonanza? How many eco-warriors do you suppose are picketing the statehouse in Bismarck? 

Holding out the belief that we can continue to consume vast quantities of non-renewable energy and offer our grandchildren the same consumptive lifestyle that we have enjoyed goes against the facts. We need to learn to think and act differently and if you expect politicians to lead us to a sustainable future you are as out of touch as they are.


When you think about it, corn, oats, wheat, and other grains are animal food. We should be growing all veggies. Let the cows eat cake!

If you were homosexual and you were running for public office should you divulge this sexual preference to the voting public?

Peter Lynch CEO of Winn Dixie will be in the Big Pine store sometime today, Friday. Happy hunting locals, and give him a what for, for the unnecessary turmoil and confusion that Rambo and Cabo (Regional and District Managers) caused that have let personal feelings interfere with personnel decisions. What kind of company thinks it is good decision making to move two fully competent employees 30 miles from their homes doing the same jobs if not to hurt them? How good can customer service be when management is pushed to the limit? How many weeks can someone work and perform at peak efficiency when they are worked 7 days a week 12 hours a day for weeks on end? Even combat troops are given more time off to decompress. Publix please!

[Democrats have a commonsense plan] to help bring down skyrocketing gas prices by cracking down on price gouging, rolling back the billions of dollars in taxpayer subsidies, tax breaks and royalty relief given to big oil and gas companies, and increasing production of alternative fuels.] Help me refresh my memory. Does anyone remember any such plan getting started in our Democrat controlled Congress?  Has anyone seen any plan by them to drive down gas prices?  Has anyone seen any plan to free us from our absolute dependence on foreign oil?  Has anyone heard the Democrats whining that those nasty Republicans won’t help them out on this crisis?  The outrageous fact is that our Democrat leadership has done nothing, repeat nothing.  Right now many Keys stations are charging over $4 bucks for fuel.  Masochists unite!  Vote Democrat!



"If, to expose the fraud and imposition of monarchy, to promote universal peace, civilization, and commerce, and to break the chains of political superstition, and raise degraded man to his proper rank; if these things be libellous let the name of libeller be engraved on my tomb." ~In a second edition of the Rights of Man in February 1792 Paine proposed a plan for the reformation of England,

[Votes that aren’t being counted in Florida?]  Agreed, it's a travesty.  So why did the state party do such a dumb thing after being warned?  Throw the bums out.

This talk about Gator Air is sad. I had a flight out of Marathon and waited and waited at the terminal. The pilot finally came and said the plane wasn't working and they were trying to find another one. He recommended trying to find another form of transportation and that he will call everyone himself when they do find a plane. 175 dollars later for a flight change, rental car and gas I still haven’t received my call that the flight is now on. It’s two months later and I just got charged for it. Good luck with them.

Okay, so my F5 key does not upload the animations, however--since my recent brain fart, I looked at the pictures of someone’s stomach and had to walk away for fear of tossing my cookies.  I really do not know who to vote for since they all pretty much suck.  White (CENSORED) woman, A possible black--oh excuse me African American, and the other guy--John McCain, where do we turn for some help?  Our United States are in a serious crisis right now. I finally think the good old USA has reached rock bottom.  Proof is in the gas prices which are becoming outrageous.  Someone said to boycott certain gas stations, and I have, but it just keeps going up and up and up. We need to put this crap to an end!

Yesterday was a really big day.  Yesterday was Tax Day.  Up until yesterday, everything you earned went to pay taxes.  Today you can start working for yourself and your family.  That’s right, the average American will work 113 days this year to pay taxes.  Mr. Average Joe will work for 35 days to buy food, housing will cost you 60 days, the rest will cost you about 100 days.  That's horrible, but back in '92 Tax day was April 20.  Taxes and Tax Day skyrocketed until in 2000 when it peaked at May 3.  Remember that meant you had to work 124 days just to pay your taxes. It may aggravate some readers to be reminded that Bill Clinton was elected President in ‘92 and served until 01/01.  The Bride of Bubba and the uber-patriot, the PT Barnum of Change, Obama have both promised to raise your taxes.  I sure hope you love government, taxes, and hard labor if either of them is elected.

This week’s issue of Key West the Newspaper, which comes out today (Friday), features a front-page piece about Sheriff Captain Bob Peryam, the Democrat candidate for Sheriff. This piece makes fools of Key West Citizen and its editor, Tom Tuell. Fools. Why? Because Sandra Downs went first to Tom with the story, and he did not chase it down like KWTN’s publisher and editor, Dennis Reeves Cooper, later did. Instead, Tom and the Citizen published a near rave front-page announcement of Captain Bob Peryam and his race for Sheriff. Instead, Tom and the Citizen viewed Sandy as a nut case, a conspiracy freak, and in doing so Tom became the gadfly his newspaper had labeled Sandy, when it announced her candidacy for Sheriff. Not a gadfly in the Socrates get-to-the-bottom-of-things sense. A gadfly in the derogatory sense Tom and the Citizen meant to paint Sandy. Well, the chickens have indeed come home to roost, and not just for Tom Tuell and the Citizen.
 
Bob Peryam’s wife, Cindy, is head of Internal Affairs at the Sheriff’s Office. The evidence Dennis relied upon to write today’s piece about Cindy’s husband was given to him by the Sheriff’s Office after he dogged them to death for it. Evidence Cindy Peryam, head of Internal Affairs, had to have seen. Evidence Sheriff Rick Roth had to have seen. Evidence they shuttled all over the place, trying to keep it out of Sandy Downs’ hands, even though she was telling them she knew about it and wanted it under the transparency in government and freedom of information laws. Evidence that surely cuts Cindy Peryam’s heart to the quick, because it plainly shows that her husband thinks with his private parts and doesn’t give a rat f**k about his own wife, or women, or other people’s families in general.
Today's Cock-A-Doodle-Doo
Evidently the Chef (I'm being kind) of a Tiki Bar Restaurant on Ramrod Key, Atlantic side has bought the machine used in the movie "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids." to shrink their 1/2 pound hamburger to about 3oz when cooked. It was nothing like we've had there previously and we were amazed how it was dwarfed by the bun. When brought to the attention of the waitress, she turned and walked away mumbling something under her breath. She did come back and of course said, "He said, They're pre-made and shrink while cooking" At least she did not l say they were pre-made and contained 1/2 of hamburger before shrinking like the menu says. I was going to say some smartass comment about her "Tip shrinking too" but that really is not fair, she was not the problem except for her departing unintelligible comments. Yes, we were only two customers Wednesday night, so no great loss, but at least two less they will have at the restaurant throughout the rest of the year as well as a poor recommendation to those we talk to.
That was great info about how you feed your cat.  Please keep your nice kitty inside.



I was laughing out loud. This kid deserves an Oscar for his impersonation of Bush. Video

[Machetes killed more than AK47] I got that information from a Newsweek article last week and couldn’t get the thought out of my mind.

We heard about the lady with the alligator in her kitchen near Tampa, but we haven’t heard if the authorities are trying to capture the female Crocodile sighted and breeding in Lower Sugarloaf. They came to the residence where she had nested nearly 50 eggs and took them to incubate in captivity. Where are Mom and Dad? Be careful in the water and watch you pets.

“420” is that like a square grouper?


Help me! I have been laughing so hard I can hardly breathe! A commercial just came on the TV for a new drug for, I don't even know what, but the name of the drug is "Aciphex". Now how do you think it's pronounced? You guessed it, "Ass effects".  I think I'm going to die. As the years go by I have seen more and more unbelievable things traipse across the TV screen, but this one, takes the cake. Ass effects! Who would want take a pill like that?

What happened to Thursday's Coconut Telegraph? (Ed: Software failure. We weren't able to publish until 5:50pm.)




[James Bond Movie] A second Aston Martin has been wrecked by stuntmen in the latest Bond movie in less than 4 days. I guess they had more than one lying around after all.

To the person asking about recycling and the rumors about the recycles being placed in a landfill. I too had heard these stories from neighbors so, I sent an e-mail to George Neugent our County Commissioner. George advised me that this is not true. The recycles are recycled when they get up North. Yes, sometimes they are co-mingled with other trash, but they are sorted and recycled up North. So, the next time you hear this rumor, tell the people they are wrong and they can ask George Neugent if they doubt you. I would also like to say a big thank you to George. He does not know me from Adam, yet he responded to my e-mail in about 90 minutes. Now that is Constituent Service!








I had Lasik eye surgery 13 years ago and to me it was the closest thing to a miracle that I'll ever see!

[Gator Air] They won't stand a chance in hell if Cape Air follows through on their plans for next fall.  They run a professional outfit. We fly them all the time for rides to Nantucket.  We're keeping our fingers crossed that flights from Ft. Myers to Marathon will really happen.

[One Man's Good Fight] I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that said course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented "You're definitely going to mess yourself" chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your butt cheeks will fall off.

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No "Watson's Movement 2". Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.
Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.
Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that "Uh oh, gotta go" pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.

The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.
There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.
I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake.

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things "clamped down", if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.
Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.
Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable "Oh my God", floating above the toilet seat because my butt is burning so bad, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of "Shock and Awe". He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, "Oh my God!", then quickly left.
Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, "Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem."

That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, "IT'S YOU!", then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.
Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. They claim they're going to have to repaint the store.

He got that right. Video

[Candidate for McCoy's Seat on County Commission] Carlos Rojas, Jr was born and raised, along with his sister in Miami. His father was a doctor, originally from the Dominican Republic and his mother was a bookkeeper and homemaker who came over in the exodus from Cuba. His parents separated while he was in grade school and he and his sister lived with his mom. He later went to Columbus High School where he was on the chess team, graduating in 1986 and then went off to college at the University of Florida. One of his friends invited him to the Keys on Spring Break, and he returned every year thereafter. Around this time he became interested in windsurfing, and later sailing. After earning his Associate in Arts degree he transferred to Florida A&M University in Tallahassee where he graduated cum laude with a Bachelor of Arts in Architecture in 1991. Along the way he also studied art, music and history. His father sent him on a backpacking tour of Europe, continuing a family tradition in rounding out one’s education through travel. Upon his return he entered the Graduate School of Architecture at the University of Florida once again, and graduated in 1993. That year there was a bit of recession and finding work for a fresh graduate was not easy.

Eventually, he found a job working in Marathon as a draftsman for D’Asign Source. Marathon became his home, living in worker housing alongside carpenters and landscapers. One of his college buddies’ father asked him to oversee the progress of work on his home in Islamorada.

Carlos soon found himself living in an immense mansion and charged with a half million dollar landscaping project. After the conclusion of that project, Carlos once again moved back to marathon and went to work for a local engineer. He used to hang out at the Cracked Conch and played congas in the Dockside Sunday Jam. He joined the sailing club and dedicated his time to sailing and promoting sailing, eventually becoming the Vice Commodore of the Marathon Sailing Club. He was an avid cyclist and would ride the old Seven Mile Bridge every day. It was also during this time that he served on the restructured Monroe County Arts council.

He met his future wife Alecia, the daughter of a client from Key Largo, in 1995. She encouraged him to move to the mainland and get his internship out of the way so that he could become a licensed architect.

They moved together to Hollywood, then Boca Raton, then Miami as Carlos worked his way up through architecture firms. During that time, Carlos also learned how to fly, earning his wings as a VFR private pilot.

Carlos and Alecia decided to move to Key West in 1999. He passed the difficult licensing exams on the first try, an achievement that is rarely duplicated. They were married in December of that year at Banana Bay in Marathon, and in 2000 he started his own practice. Around that time he was an appointed member of Key West’s Historic Architecture Review Commission (HARC).

His business quickly prospered, as times were good. They bought their house in September of 2001, with Carlos operating his practice from home. Alecia, in the meantime, went to work as a salesperson for Boca Metals in Key West. She grew along side him, eventually becoming the regional Vice President of the company. Carlos joined Rotary in 2005 and later that year the couple was blessed with the birth of their daughter Juliet. In 2006, Carlos had his first solo art show, a benefit for Project Lighthouse, which helps runaway teens and young people at risk.

Just last year, Carlos moved his office to its current location at 508 Southard Street. He has designed custom homes, commercial space, and affordable housing. He has done extensive pro bono work for the good people of Stock Island, for Jerome Covington’s office, and others. His practice boasts over 150 affordable housing units.

The market bubble has burst, as we all know, and times got tough really fast. Almost every day, a proud, hard working contractor or carpenter would stop in and introduce himself, looking for work, feeling downtrodden. Carlos tried to comfort them and began to think of what he could do to save them. Carlos has coordinated large groups of diverse people as a daily part of his profession. He has overseen tens of millions of dollars worth of construction projects. He a proven leader of men and women in the construction field, and he felt he owed it to them to try to do something for them. He also realized that this was going to affect everybody everywhere. One day while reading the papers about the state of county affairs, he hit upon the idea of running for county commission. A risky proposition for a man who has never set foot in politics, but such was the state of affairs.

Carlos wishes only to be able to represent the people of Monroe County and use his insight to improve the lives of its residents. He wants to use his voice to amplify that of the majority of residents, who want affordable housing and decent wages, a fiscally responsible and fair government, a clean and stable environment, and a chance to continue to call the Keys their home for their families. Carlos is not interested in party politics or power struggles. If you ever wanted a chance to vote for a regular guy, non-political representative that won’t put his ego or his wallet above honesty and integrity, here is your chance. Otherwise, you have other candidates to choose from.

Hi, I’m Carlos, candidate for County Commission District 3. I need you support in this endeavor. Please email me if you would like to help at; tintarojas@hotmail.com. This is a biography and a political advertisement approved by the candidate.



Redneck wheel of fortune shirt

[A Billion Seconds] C'mon, I have figured this out in the time it took the poster to write the diatribe about how busy his or her life is! Let's just face it, a lot of people don't have the math skills to solve this simple problem with confidence in their accuracy. By virtue of having a good engineering education, I know how to use my computer to find this out very quickly.

  • There are 365.25 days in a year (the quarter day is for leap years)
  • 60 seconds/minute x 60 minutes/hour x 24 hours/day = 86,400 seconds/day,
  • Multiply by 365.25 days in a year, that's 31,557,600 seconds per year.
  • Assuming the American definition of "billion" which is 10 to the 9th power, or 1000 million. (Many Europeans use a
  • 1,000,000,000 seconds divided by 31,557,600s/year is about 31.6880878 years or 31 years, 8 months, 8 days, 1 hour 46 minutes and 40 seconds.
  • If you are reading this on April 26, 2008 at 1:00pm, 1,000,000,000 seconds ago would be on Wednesday, August 18, 1976, precisely at 11:13:20AM

To calculate 1,000,000,000 seconds go to this site. http://vader.bmi.net/~dogpatchnorth/seccalc.php#calc1



Redneck car carrier.

[Conspiracy] How can anyone think that we are deliberately holding on to our oil reserves so we are the last ones left with oil? I admit it is a far fetched idea that our leaders have that much foresight. The Bush gang could be in with the banks and the 12 ruling families and maybe are deliberately trying to raise the price of food to cause chaos in the third world. The world elite make money on hardship, chaos and war.

Does anyone else feel it's ironic that you have to honk and make noise for peace?  You will no doubt become one of the worlds true martyrs if your honking and tickets come to fruition.

BPK Funny Fridays: Letterman's right. That John McCain IS old... I hear he was on the train when Henry Flagler pulled into Key West.

"John McCain, no one talks about John McCain anymore because he won his side of the thing, and now he's just wandering around. He's just wandering around, nobody's talking about him. So he's trying to do things to get press, this week John McCain is on a tour of what he calls 'Forgotten Places in America.' Forgotten places, yeah. Which, at his age, means just about everywhere." --Conan O'Brien

"It was a big night of celebration for the Clinton camp, but they still face some serious money problems. Even in her victory speech last night, Hillary pretty much begged people to go to her website and contribute. If only she knew a very wealthy former president who made $30 million for his autobiography." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, working on a new book about his strategy for the war in Iraq. The book just came out, we have a first copy here. It's called, 'Don't Blame Me. It was Cheney's Idea.'" --Jay Leno

"Hillary was thrilled that she had a double-digit victory. Bill said he hasn't seen Hillary this happy since before he married her." --Jay Leno

"Well, even though she won yesterday, Hillary Clinton's campaign now-- $10 million in debt. $10 million in debt, and, ironically, her big issue: I can handle the economy." --Jay Leno

"Now here's something interesting. You know the Howie Mandel blockbuster quiz show, the game show 'Deal or No Deal?' Earlier tonight, appearing on 'Deal or No Deal,' President Bush. Meanwhile, over at ABC's 'Dancing with the Stars,' Dick Cheney collapsed."

"But it's true, Bush was on 'Deal or No Deal.' Apparently he didn't feel he was ready for 'Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?'" --David Letterman

"According to some of the political blogs, Democratic operatives have been looking for dirt on John McCain since February. You know what you call someone who digs up dirt on John McCain? An archaeologist."  --Jay Leno

"Speaking of reading, former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is now working on a book about his strategy for the war in Iraq. It will be a while before it goes to the publisher because cause he just doesn't know how to end it." --Jay Leno

"In an interview, First Lady Laura Bush, who used to be a librarian, ... says she cannot fall asleep without reading. ... As opposed to her husband, who can't read without falling asleep." --Jay Leno

"But wait a second, because there is one man who has a solution. John McCain ... presented his proposal. He says that over the summer we should have a 'Gas Tax Holiday.' For summer drivers, the 18 cent a gallon federal gas tax, he wants that lifted over the summer. Or as it used to be called, 'Grandpa is giving you $5.'" --Bill Maher

"And President Bush announced his plan this week to limit greenhouse gases. He said he will ban all greenhouses. See, I don't think he understands exactly what's going on." --Jay Leno

"And at the party yesterday, Pope Benedict spoke out against evil, and then Dick Cheney gave the rebuttal." --Jay Leno

"And Ralph Nader, God bless him. Ralph Nader said today, he has not taken $1 in campaign contributions. Oh, he wants to. He just can't get anybody to give him $1." --Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton now, over the weekend says that she is pro-gun, likes guns, and lovers to hunt ducks. Vice President Dick Cheney said 'Ooh stop, you're making me hot.'" --David Letterman

"Of course they dwelt a lot on the giant fake controversy that was started at the end of last week when Barack Obama said that small- town Americans are bitter and, because they're bitter about politics, they're clinging to religion and guns, which upset these people so much, they don't know whether to turn the other cheek or shoot them."  --Bill Maher

"As you would expect, Hillary was completely fake-outraged by this. 

Every day she has called for him to retract these comments, because they're elitist and offensive. They're offensive to poor, rural Americans that she relates to. And she is pulling out all the stops to let these people know that she is one of them. Today, she came out strongly against teeth." --Bill Maher

"Do you like John McCain? John McCain looks like the kind of guy that doesn't pick the phone up until the 12th ring. You know what I mean? 

He looks like the kind of guy who has a cupboard full of canned peaches. John McCain looks like the kind of guy who thinks the cleaning woman will love any crap he's tossing out. He looks like the guy that walks up to the mound to settle down a young pitcher. John McCain looks like the guy who picks up his TV remote when the phone rings. He looks like a guy who gets tickets for mowing under the influence. He looks like a guy with a collection of movies he bought at the car wash. He looks like a guy on the beach with a metal detector. He looks like the guy who is still confused by the phone answering machine: 'Hello, is that - hello, is that you? Larry, Larry, hello?' He looks like the guy who calls his grandson when he screws up the remote: 'Well, now all the shows are in Spanish. What am I going to do, hello? He looks like the guy at the movies whose wife has to repeat everything. He looks like the guy who has to always be told something is on his chin. He looks like a guy who still has a rotary phone. He looks like a guy who's backed over his own mailbox. He looks like a guy whose sweater is always mis-buttoned. He looks like the guy who always tells you he's 72 years young. He looks like the guy who's bragged that oatmeal has lowered his cholesterol. He looks like the guy who should be co-hosting with Kelly Ripa." --David Letterman



An action figure doll of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler has gone on sale in the Ukraine, with saleswomen comparing the doll to Barbie. Supermarkets in the capital Kiev are stocking the 40 centimeter high figure of the fuehrer, complete with jackboots, leather trench-coat and swastika armband.  The Adolf Hitler action  doll

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Friday April 25, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Thursday April 24, 2008

(Ed: Stay tuned. Pictures are coming in a few minutes)



NPR reported yesterday that ethanol has more of a carbon footprint than oil to produce. Germany is rethinking their mandatory ethanol policy. Maybe if they start growing corn for food again our prices will cone down.

I honk my horn for peace every Saturday morning and if some war mongering sheriff gives me a ticket I will claim freedom of expression and the ACLU will go to the Supreme Court if necessary. Keep honking, patriots.

[Keys Wastewater Bonding Gets 2nd Committee Approval] The House Policy & Budget Council on Monday passed a bill authorizing $200 million in state bond funding to help complete wastewater management projects in the Florida Keys.

House Bill 1135 related to Everglades bonding authorizes the issuance of state bonds not to exceed $50 million per fiscal year for no more than four fiscal years, specifically for the purpose of providing state funding for wastewater projects identified in the “Keys Wastewater Plan” submitted to the state last year.  The bill previously received approval from the House Environmental & Natural Resources Council last week. 

The bill creating the bond authorization must still be approved by the full House and the Florida Senate.  ~Ron Saunders

[Inventor of water-powered car]  The amount of energy you get from the hydrogen is less than the amount used to split the water into hydrogen and oxygen, so its completely pointless.  The man was sued for investor fraud and had to pay out $25,000. And no, I don't work for big oil.


Thanks for the skinny on Gator Air.  I am sure we will be reading in the paper their demise, in about 4 weeks.  Face it they can't make it any way without the snowbird commute. They will never make it treating passengers like they did your guest when we have the Telegraph to warn us off the service. When I saw the plane, type and size I just backed away quietly and planned to go to Key West where they have real planes!  You gave us all a great detailed review and I bet the plane, if there is one, is empty tomorrow.

What was it, two and a half million votes that aren’t being counted in Florida? This is a travesty.



Food giant Costco is rationing rice because of the impending food crisis.

[Modular home hater] It sounds like you are the one who does not get the Keys attitude, and are the one who does not belong in this community.

[Earth Rise on the Moon] The Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency and NHK (Japan Broadcasting Corporation) successfully captured a movie of the "Full Earth-Rise"*1 using the onboard High Definition Television (HDTV) of the lunar explorer "KAGUYA " (SELENE) on April 6, 2008 (Japan Standard Time, JST, all the following dates and time are JST.) The KAGUYA is currently flying in a lunar orbit at an altitude of about 100 km. JAXA | Full Earth-rise taken by the KAGUYA HDTV

Yesterday a poster took a shot at a specific Republican poster and at Republicans in general.  It’s interesting that the complainer finds it necessary to woof about the writing style and prose used by the Republican poster.  Apparently he can’t find fault in the logic or content of the Republican’s offerings so he’s got to bitch about style.  It’s even more interesting that the complainer found it necessary to make a scatological reference.  I’m forced to conclude that the complainer simply can’t keep up with the big kids so he’s got to flail around.  It’s a wonderful thing that our Ed has the good sense to lavish the site with colorful pictures and simple cartoons to keep the complainers mind occupied.  All of this kind of makes you wonder about the party affiliation of the complainer.  Do you suppose that the Democrats would take him?





Have you ever had a brain fart? Scientists decode brain farts

I really don't know if the guy posting about modular housing is posting tongue-in-cheek. I will reply as if he is serious. I could buy any house I wish to in the Fl keys, but I prefer living in a trailer. Are you really so warped mentally that you somehow think that the shape of ones’ house signifies some kind of a class distinction? Yes one works all his life, make x amount of money and deserves to spend it anyway he sees fit as long as it is within the bounds of the law. I think a poster like you has every right to set up a home in our trailer park. I might not prefer it, but it surely is none of my damn business.

I have been wondering when and last night in dreams I was cleared to write about the healing of the MRSA (Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus) sore on my abdomen, which I wrote about contacting some time ago. I said it was spirit-connected to deep unresolved past wrongdoing on my part, and to very tough spirit work I then was doing in the Keys, mostly around Keys mega-developer Pritam Singh.
 
There were three types of treatment, which went on at the same time.
 
1) I went to the Urgent Care Center on Flagler, where, after about an hour wait, I was seen by a nurse, who, on looking at the sore, agreed it was MRSA. She said she had once worked at Lower Keys Medical Center, and they had taken to culturing skin infections and subjecting the culture to different kinds of antibiotics, and MRSA responded best to Batrim, which is a sulfa drug. Shortly after seeing the nurse, and physician’s assistant came into the room and agreed that it was MRSA and wrote a 10-day prescription for generic Bactrim and an antibiotic cream, which I was to apply twice a day. She told me to apply warm, wet compresses to the sore several times a day. And Publix would fill the generic Bactrim prescription for free, as part of a promotion Publix was doing for certain common drugs. I did not see a doctor, and paid $235 by check for the bill for the office visit because I had no insurance. Publix charged me for the Bactrim substitute, and the total for it and the anti-biotic cream was $57, which I paid in cash. I took the Bactrim substitute, as prescribed, twice a day for ten days. I did not use the cream for very long, and after a few days, stopped the warm, wet compresses. Here’s why.  Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel


[
Gator Air] After reading that report yesterday I’ll not fly with them. As a matter of fact I’ll not fly with any airline from Marathon until they’ve operated successfully for a year. Marathon airport was a travesty when the built that unnecessary white elephant and time has proven the naysayers were right.

I just read Sandy Downs’ letter posted on Wed and I just have to say that if that is how she presents herself, then she will never be taken seriously for anything.  Fortunately, common sense dictates, that if an investigation from the FDLE on any personnel is closed, they are not going to turn over copies of any file in that investigation over to any yahoo that can use a phone.  If Sandy Downs wants to impress us with her ability, then she should show us what she is for--not against.  I have not seen one valid issue that as a voter would cause me to consider her as a candidate.  The more Sandy Downs comments on anything, the more unqualified she shows herself to be as a candidate, much less Sheriff of this county.  I think most people dismiss her, but she seems to keep going based upon her hatred of everyone she blames for her family's problems. 

I admit she has a lot of drive, I just wish she used the same vigor towards this campaign to try to find some inner peace in herself.  I saw her picture on her website and she is a beautiful woman and doesn't look like the type of person that would be spewing all of this unintelligent propaganda.  The more I read from her, the more I see the pain that she carries within her.  That being said, I still don't see any valid platform issue from her as a candidate. I think it was very unprofessional the way she ended her letter with symbols to cover up fowl language; very juvenile!




[Most
deaths in combat caused by Machetes]
I would like to know where this poster got this information. I agree a lot of deaths have been caused by machetes in the last 20 years (Ruanda, Somalia, South Africa, ect.) but not in combat. Wholesale murder?—yes. Would the poster care to define combat?

[Barack Obama’s name]  I like his first name because when I have to belch it comes out Baaaaraaack.




Don't ever feed your dog people food because they will want a car, a computer, a dating service, fancy leashes and all kinds of other goodies.

[Food Shortage] In Lima Peru the army is going door-to-door distributing food because of the shortage and high prices that they can’t afford. (Usually the army goes door-to-door killing people.)




After breaking a leg I had to sit with it elevated all day long, so I watched daytime TV. Now I know why my kids and wife are so damn dumb!

Why should the lodging industry have to foot the bill for the affordable housing of workers of all industries?  Should we have a 1% tax on our groceries so that housekeepers (as well as grocery clerks) can afford to live here? 




Recycling reduces the amount of nuclear waste to10%] Only 10%? 10% of anything radioactive that will be around for 50,000 years is still too much. What are you going to do with a few hundred Mount Trashmore's in a few years, ship them into the sun? What if all the maintenance men went on strike?

Sandra Downs rambles on and says nothing.  Her facts are skewed, her accusations are groundless, but she loves all the attention she's getting, like the true narcissist she is.  ~Cthib48@aol.com




Brian Roberts
will be at Parrotdise this Friday singing and playing for you all.

I'm in total agreement with the person who drove away from Paradise Petroleum because of their price gouging!  Boycott Paradise Petroleum until they bring their prices back in line with the already high prices we have to pay. ~ ImBearsCub@aol.com




[Lock 'n Load] Cannon Challenge Game

[Trauma Star] And in Tampa I will stay. I had 25 years of the Keys and if you’re stupid enough to stay in the Keys (any longer) and get ripped off by your local government, have at it.  Up here the politicians are never front page news because they treat there constituents right.  They don’t buy 10 year old worn out helicopters to sit on a chopper pad and rust.  They have private industry providing them with state of the art equipment and have the patient’s insurance companies pay the bill, not a bunch of dumb citizens.



Some idiots don’t know when to hang up. What happens if you talk with your phone in a concert?

Hey, Republican fan!  Thanks for reading my postings.  Yep, you’re right (absolutely no pun intended).  I do post here regularly.  Like most other posters, I enjoy telling the truth and attempting to influence the thinking of other sentient beings.  I regret that you can’t keep up and find my postings boring.  Nonetheless I could say that your amusing posting yesterday was an expression of a wit, but I’d only be half right.  By the way, do you really think that Dick Cheney is a hottie?

Helicopters are dangerous.
Fly1 Video
Fly2 Video
Fly3 Video

What the heck is going on with politicians these days?  My vote may not have an effect on keeping an immature mud-slinger out of the White House, but it certainly will matter right here at home.  100% of my support for Sheriff is with Bob Peryam.  He is the only one adult enough to focus on the future of the Sheriff's Office, and to stay away from the slanderish and immature web blogs.   


[Instant House] These aren’t your normal instant houses. http://fabprefab.com/fabfiles/fablisthome.htm

On my way to Marathon today I passed a large truck driving down the side of the road.  The front of this truck was spitting out a water.  I assume that it was watering the dead grass they have put down right by the street line.  The truck was watering 1/2 on the grass and 1/2 on the road.  Don't we have a water shortage? I'll answer my own question, yes.  Then why waste water on asphalt?




[
Gas Pricing] Is this not cool?  I'm keeping this one in my favorites.  It’s a great resource to have at your fingertips. Just put in any zip code you want to know about!
everyday/GasStations

[Keep areas classed, not mixed!] You must have been a comedian, because you are funny! You obviously don't have as much money as you think you do. If you did you could afford to buy privacy. I think you should go back home and get another job until you have enough to put where your mouth is. You probably just drive a common Mercedes-Benz, Lexis or some SUV. If you can't afford several Aston Martins, Maseratis, Bentlys or a Rolls-Royce you are just a commoner. So stop wasting our time and get back to work you common serf.





The state has closed Bruce Key, the new sand island formed off Boca Grande during Hurricane Wilma. They say we’re interfering with bird nesting. Baloney, why can’t they just keep us off the interior where the birds nest and let us on the nice sandy beach?

Our dog has Hip Dysplasia.  Any suggestions?  We are poor.  I wanna die.


The State has given the Vandenberg sinking project $1,000,000 they very much needed. Organizers say they can raise the other 1.3 million the need.

[From DOT] The Department in response to your request, conducted an assessment of the operation and safety at the intersection of US1 and Morris Avenue. From the analysis, it was concluded that a concrete barrier cannot be installed because it presents a fixed object hazard potential to the existing roadway conditions. Concrete barriers should be installed only if they reduce the severity of certain types of crashes, i.e. run-off the road crashes or head-on collisions with opposing traffic. The typical cross section along US-1 consists of a two-lane rural roadway divided by pavement markings. Due to the geometry, roadway characteristics, and the posted speed, the placement of a concrete barrier along a 55 MPH roadway would introduce a fixed object hazard, thus increasing the severity of potential crashes.

In addition, the objective of the new intersection design is to minimize conflicts at the intersection by separating left turn traffic on Morris Avenue from the southbound through traffic lane on US-1. The design provides a 4 ft separation between left turn lane and the through lane as per FDOT standards. Also, by providing the southbound left turn lane, we will reduce vehicle interference, which will decrease significantly the potential for rear end crashes combined with high speeds. Making left turn maneuvers from a through lane on a 55 MPH roadway is an undesirable condition that will be corrected with this design. The length of southbound left turn lane provides sufficient distance for vehicles to slow down and stop behind the left turn queue. Moreover, the southbound acceleration lane allows left turn vehicles on Morris Avenue to complete their crossing in one step and increase their speeds to where they can safely merge into the southbound traffic. Similarly, this design will reduce the rear end crashes associated  with speed differentials.

Furthermore, the intent of the left turn arrow pavement markings along the entire length of the  left turn bay is to indicate as well as emphasize that the use of this lane is for left turn movement only.  Besides, the advance intersection lane control sign indicates drivers the appropriate configuration of all the lanes before they approach the intersection. The combination of the pavement markings along with the sign will inform drives of the exclusive use of the lanes. In addition to the roadways features listed, a passing zone is provided at approximately two miles north of Morris Ave where vehicles have the opportunity to overtake slower traffic and realign prior approaching the subject intersection.

The Department remains committed to working closely with the community to address and, to the extent possible, resolving the community’s traffic and highway safety concerns. If  you require further assistance, please contact our Department at your convenience.

 

[To DOT] Thank you for your informative reply much of which is in FDOT "road speak" but I have been driving this "stretch" since 1970. and it probably out performs Homestead Race Track minus the safety factor. The death toll each year has exceeded 30 persons in the 27 mile length of this road each year. I will grant you that the center divider will go a long way to reducing head on collisions. If arrows and road markings can control traffic then the center concrete barrier would never had been needed. I can just about guarantee you that if for any reason southbound traffic backs up at this intersection on the driving lane  southbound drivers seeing this nicely paved empty turn lane will turn it into a high speed passing lane. An as I stated I would rather have the idiots plow into a concrete barrier instead of my rear end attempting to use the South Bound Turn lane from Morris Ave.


For your information I have already witnessed an SUV speeding up the Northbound paved Hurricane Evacuation Lane no one is supposed to drive on.  From mm 109 to mm 111 in excess of 60 MPH in a 45 mph  mile zone, to bypass normal drivers. So much for road theory.


I wish you luck with your arrows and stripes. However I hope FDOT is ready to assume responsibility for this turn design not if, but when, there is an accident.

By the way just out of curiosity why is this section of road between the end of the left turn in lane and the start of the left turn out lane now hatch marked with white line topped with bob's barricade barrels?




[Stupid tourist Question] We live in Cudjoe and I was driving a visiting guest to Key West.  He asked me, "So, you go to the Keys often?"   I guess he thought only Key West was the Keys?
Stupid Tourist Questions

There is one correction to a student’s name in the Youth Challenge photo yesterday she is Sarah-Wynne Eppes.

This is the forthcoming computer you can carry in your pocket .This 'pen sort of instrument' produces both the monitor as well as the keyboard on any flat surfaces from where you can carry out functions you would normally do on your desktop computer.

Anyone think that we are deliberately holding on to our oil reserves so we are the last ones left with oil? I admit it is a far fetched idea that our leaders have that much foresight. The Bush gang could be in with the banks and the 12 ruling families that maybe deliberate trying to raise the price of food to cause chaos in the third world. The world elite make money on hardship, chaos and war. http://money.cnn.com/pf/features/lists/global_gasprices/

420” means http://priceless420.com/ to my little mind.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

[No picture available] Penis Theft--It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny.  Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic


New Gang of Three?

Is there anyone out there who is actually still buying the crap Sandy Downs is spewing?  I can't help but read her diatribes for entertainment purposes.  This lady is whacked!  Where in the world does she come up with this stuff?  Does she really think that spreading obvious lies on free web blogs is the way to win a campaign?  I have never met this woman, and I pray I never do.  I have a feeling I would be dumber after a conversation with her. ~chloeliarhater@yahoo.com

A builder who was not paid for the £22,000 porch and conservatory he built for a customer has taken revenge by demolishing his own handiwork. “It gave me a great deal of satisfaction to watch them come crumbling down - but it was also galling to see my own work destroyed,” said Mr Gray. “Mine is a little company, and I’ve had to deal with a £22,000 deficit at one of the worst times of the year. I’ve taken a massive hit. Meanwhile, she’s been lounging around in my conservatory, loving it.”

420(?)  Don't mention it.  I was starting to think I was the only one.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Thursday April 24, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Wednesday April 23, 2008

(Ed: Pardon us, folks, but the pictures are lost in cyberspace.)

Tell me one way the Iraqi war is protecting my freedom of speech or my way of life. The war is to spread democracy in Iraq and has nothing to do with us. That’s why I don’t support it. And don’t give me the party line about stopping terrorist from coming here—nobody’s buying it anymore.


2,000,000 kids are taking drugs (stimulants) for ADHD. But we freak if they smoke pot. What a sick country.

Words of warning: Gator Air is totally unreliable.  If you or anyone you know is booked on a flight with them, don't count on them to show up. Our daughter's friend booked a flight with them a month ago.  It was a new service that seemed like an inexpensive and quick way to get to Ft Lauderdale Airport.  It was announced in the newspapers and sounded legitimate and like a good idea.  She called them this past Friday to confirm her flight after an article in one of the local papers mentioned they had suspended some flights.  They assured her the flight was on, and that she should be at the Terminal in Marathon at 5pm on Monday for her 5:30 flight. 
 
They called on Monday to confirm that she would be there. We were there at 5pm.  We asked a guy at one of the car rental businesses if he knew where to go for Gator Air and he pointed towards the gate. He laughed and said, "Good Luck".  (Not a good sign.)  Since there was no one else around at 5:15 my daughter called the office to confirm she was in the right place and was told by a rude man who hung up on her that she was to wait and when the plane arrived someone would come in, open the gate and bring her to the plane.  Anxious, because she had an 8:30 flight to catch in Ft Lauderdale, she called again at 5:30 because there was still no plane.  The rude man who answered said, again, she was in the right place, that the plane would be there soon, and he hung up on her again.  At 6:00 she called again and was told they had they had 2 people in Ft Lauderdale who they were flying down and that the plane would be there at 6:30.  At 6:45…still no plane so and she called again and was told that the pilot had decided not to fly, and the woman who answered the phone was "so angry about it".  The woman at Gator Air said, "Don't worry, dear, we won't charge you."  (For a flight that didn't happen!)  They did not make one single phone call to our guest to say the plane would be late, or that it wouldn't be coming at all.  And they had her cell phone number.
 
There was no alternate way to get her to Ft Lauderdale for her 8:30 flight to Boston.  Gator Air assured her that they would switch the flight she was missing to the next day and get her to Ft. Lauderdale.  But they couldn't do anything about it until Tuesday morning, and she should call at 9am.  She called US Airways in regards to her missed flight.  They "unchecked" her in and said there would be a $130 fee to switch her flight to Tuesday, plus the difference in the airfare price for the rescheduled flight if she made the change.  The fees would be waived if Gator Air made the change.  As a young woman without a lot of money, she had no choice, but to wait and see if Gator Air would take care of her flight for her.  She called them twice in the morning, as they told her to, before she could speak with anyone that didn't hang up on her.  Then she was told that her flight was switched.  She went online to check it and yes, her flight was switched.  But she called US Air to make sure and was told it hadn't been paid for and would cost her another $280.  She called Gator Air and was told that was "outrageous" and they would fix it and call her back.  We got in the car and headed to Ft Lauderdale, because one way or another she had to get home and back to her job.  No phone call from them.  After about an hour she called again to see if they had done anything.  They said no, they needed her confirmation number for her flight (they should have called her to get it).  Finally, about a half hour later, she got a phone call from them for the first time in this whole mess, and they said they had a flight to Boston for her and it would cost $115.  Since it was their fault that she missed her flight out of Ft Lauderdale, she asked the rude man at Gator Air who was going to pay for the additional charges.  He said, "I'm not paying for it."  She finally let him have it. She rehashed the events of the past day and reminded him that it was their fault that she missed her flight out of Ft Lauderdale, and that she was missing a day of work because of them.  His answer was, "Welcome to the world of air travel."  Then he put her on hold.  When he finally came back on the phone he told her the flight was booked.  She asked if he put the charge on her credit card which was used to book her Gator Air flight.  He said the payment was made with Gator Air's corporate card.  Since they had lied to her so many times, she immediately called US Air and confirmed her flight to Boston.  It was finally booked. 
 
She's home now and she is going to be watching her credit card for charges that shouldn't be there.   If they stay in business, she will never fly with them again, nor will anyone else we know.
I imagine there are a few other people out there who have booked flights with them.  Reconsider your plans for your own sake and don't take their word for anything.  If our guest hadn't kept calling them it would have cost her, or us (since she really didn't have the money), another $280 to get home.  They repeatedly lied to her and did nothing to get her to Ft Lauderdale as they said they would.  We drove her there to be sure she'd get there on time.  What started as a great trip to the Keys for her ended as a bad travel experience.  That’s no way to run a business.

[A billion seconds ago] Please excuse the fact that when I got this, it may have been outdated. I may not have a life, but I will not sit with a calculator and figure that out specifically. What does that have to do with the point being made?  You Bushies are an extraordinary breed. I never thought of myself as a liberal or a conservative but rather a “middle of the road” person.  The only trouble with that is that I would get run over eventually.  I have voted for whom I thought was the best man in all the major elections.  I voted for Reagan and I was not sorry. George Carlin refers to George W. as Governor Bush because it was the last office to which he was elected legitimately. Do people forget the close association the Bush’s have with the Bin Ladens?  Is there any coincidence that gas will soon exceed $4.00 a gallon? I am horrified by this. Has anyone taken notice of what your oil dollars are doing in Dubai? These people are making man-made islands and turning the Middle East into a damn resort. So if you are going to engage me in a battle of wits regarding this president, please come up with some ammunition. Why don't you tell us what this administration has done for the betterment of this country and our way of life? Are you better off today then you were 7 years ago?  We impeached Bill Clinton for getting a blowjob, maybe Hillary is the best man for the job for showing restraint in not assaulting her womanizing husband. Obama is a brilliant public speaker, but does he really say anything about what he is going to do to make America better?  John McCain is still fighting the Viet Nam war. If you want more of the same as our current administration, then he is your man.  But you are right about one thing, I sure as hell would not want the job. I don't know why anyone would. They would be assuming a real mess.

Would the lodging industry please give a simple answer as to why they are against part of their bed taxes being used for their workers' housing, but okay for somebody else's to be used for the same purpose?

I had a cat that I gave both people food and canned food. I had that cat for almost twenty years and feeding her was a chore—she was so fussy. The new cat is almost two and I only feed her dry food. She’s never had canned or people food. Because of this she is an eager eater. She eats the same thing every day and is very healthy. I didn’t know any cat would eat the same thing every day, but I guess she doesn’t know that she’s supposed to be finicky.

About nose hair: Just snort Nair!

Did you know that 50% of our nuclear energy is coming from dismantled Russian warheads (swords into plowshares)? We are going thru a “nuclear renaissance”. There are 104 nuclear plants operating right now in the US and another 32 on the drawing boards and another ten planned. South Florida will receive 2 new plants. Recycling reduces the amount of nuclear waste to only 10%.

Peak oil?  Conservation?  A poster suggests that minimizing our use of petro products will drive down the consumer cost of its usage.  A nice thought and it certainly wouldn’t hurt anything.  Shucks, it might even make you feel nice and warm and fuzzy, but it won’t do a damn thing to ameliorate the crises in which we find ourselves.  The U.S. historically was a major oil producer, but between ‘90 and ‘95 we had permitted our oil production to dwindle and soon we found ourselves importing vastly more oil than we produced.  Right now 2/3rds of all the oil needed for the U.S. is supplied by foreign powers.  Why did we permit ourselves to be in this situation given that we had and still have vast quantities of petro resources under our own feet?  Some experts say that we have more potential than Saudi Arabia

There were several factors.  One factor was cost because in the 90s market it was not economically feasible to harvest the product.  A larger problem was the intransigent eco-political machine which thwarted any expansion of our petro industry.  No drilling, no refineries, no nada!  The sad fact is that if we could use our own product we would be free from the yoke of our dependency on foreign powers.  The poster who fills his motorcycle with $13 of gas is in direct competition for that gas with the vibrant growing economies of the Japanese, the Chinese, the Indians, the Europeans, and so on.  The fact that gas may very soon reach $4 or $5 or $10 per gallon frankly is not my primary worry.  Remember that our very civilization is totally petro dependant. 

I trust that at least some of you will remember the ‘73 oil embargo.  At the time OPEC turned off the petro tap we were importing only a relatively small share of our petro requirements.  (Remember now we must import 2/3rds of our requirements).  Because of the embargo crude oil prices quadrupled in a year.  In ‘73 crude was about $3. a barrel, by ‘74 it had reached $12 a barrel.  OPEC never looked back.  We’ve been at their mercy for far too long.  We simply can’t conserve our way out of this mess.  There is a clamoring world market seeking to buy every pint of petro product we refuse to buy.  If OPEC decides to again punish us by turning off the oil tap, I simply can’t think of a term that would adequately describe the catastrophe that would follow.  We have the petro resources, we have the knowledge, and we have the skill to exploit our own resources.  We have the knowledge, skill, and resources to so do in an environmentally responsible fashion.  Why in the hell aren’t we doing it?




The most deaths in combat in the last 20 years have been caused by the machete.

Hammerstrom tries to tie Monroe's comprehensive plan to DOT’s 5th lane addition on US1 in Key largo. The DCA fails to buy its relevance. 

The British are coming to Big Pine Key! Big Pine Key AYSO will host Challenger British Soccer Camp July 21-25. The camp is open to children ages 4-18. They will be coached by British Soccer coaches from the UK. Each child will receive a FREE soccer ball and t-shirt! Sign up online by 6/5/08 and also receive a Challenger replica jersey. Visit http://bpkayso.clubspaces.com/default_css.aspx  for a link to sign up online. Sign ups will also be held at Watson Field on Sat. 4/26 from 9am-12noon, at Sugarloaf School on Fri. 5/9 from 2:30pm-3:30pm, and at Sunday Soccer every Sunday from 2pm-3:30pm at the St. Peter's Soccer Field. For more information please contact Bonnie 923-4467.

If you did a search on Monroe County arrest records by searching for "Big Pine Key" would you expect to find 169 records and that approx 44% of the arrest records were for professions relating to home building?



As cable TV companies pack ever more HD channels into limited bandwidth, some owners of pricey plasma, projector and LCD TVs are complaining that they're not getting the high-def quality they paid for. HD enthusiasts crying foul over cable TV's crunched signals

[Affordable housing] Write to the following Senators ask them to support the extra penny bed tax. The Lodging Association is fighting this because many want to the tax to go to supporting their industry.

This Tax must come back to the County for approval; all it does is give us a choice. If this tax were implemented it would go to helping the many hard working employees of the community who cannot afford a place to live. This is our only chance to actually have the tax go to the people who are doing the work. The Lodging Association believes that they have a right to dictate where the tax money goes.

Below is the list of Senator’s who need to hear your support. Also a letter you can paste on to the Senator. It is very important that it be done as soon as possible.

All you have to do is paste all of the following addresses on the same line it sends it to all and then write your note and please sign your name and address.

Please help it will only take you a minute and help many. If you can mail this to people on your e mail list and ask them to participate, that that would be appreciated.
~Paul Clayton, Affordable Housing Coordinator

Garcia.rudy.web@flsenate.gov; Pruitt.ken.web@flsenate.gov; Bullard.larcenia.web@flsenate.gov; Bennett.mike.web@flsenate.gov; Geller.steven.web@flsenate.gov; Haridopolos.mike.web@flsenate.gov; Atwater.jeff.web@flsenate.gov; Garcia.rudy.web@flsenate.gov; Margolis.gwen.web@flsenate.gov;



I was in my cups last night watching TV and stripping basil leaves for pesto and roast potatoes when to my astonishment I realized the movie I'd been watching was in Japanese. Warning: Don’t drink and watch TV.

This election is so different because we have three candidates that are popular and unique. They are a famous woman, a charismatic black man and an honored veteran (at a time of war).







[Russian spaceship misses] They made their landing on the snowy Kazakh steppe more than 400 kilometers (248 miles) off target -- to the bemusement of a local mayor and residents who drove out to meet them. "They were very surprised. One of them asked if it was a boat.”  "When we said we'd come from space... they didn't understand". Astronauts upbeat after hard 'ballistic' landing

[Key Deer Blvd Repaving] If one piece of the resurfaced roadbed is cut up for the sewer, County heads should roll. It is a stupid decision to go forward with this. It should be stopped by the people of Big Pine. I would like to hear an answer from the county as to the sense of it.










This guy’s got, well, er…balls!
Snotr

Govwatch 05 should be ashamed of themselves. Throwing stones at Trauma Star and the great services they provide is really absurd. It robs any credibility that their organization might have had. We live over a hundred miles from specialized medical services like neonatal ICU, eye institutes, cardiac cath. units ect.  No county in America needs excellent trauma flight services more than us. Of course it costs a lot of money, it more than provides its worth to the people of our county. Govwatch is obviously an organization that is in Mario's pocket. Could you do us all a favor and keep your BS in Tampa where it belongs. ~cdgbpk@bellsouth.net





Space Shuttle and International Space Station Sighting and Locator Link sightings/cities/view.Florida&city=Key_West

I just had lunch at Shanna Key in Key West and I was telling a buddy how they screw you on the bill at a lot of eating establishments and as I was telling him, the woman tending bar interjected how she shortchanged me a dime before I even added up the bill. Well, BS, it was more than a dime! She added on some beers and did some new math not known to man. Anyway, check your bills before you leave these places. They steal from the owner and they steal from Joe Public I told the woman of a thing called integrity. I think she thought it a social disease. ~bpoint2008@yahoo.com

[Hates non-profits] The poor owner of the land at mile marker 102, that the Marine Mammal Conservancy has been renting, hasn't received one penny of the $20,000 rent that was due each year since January of 2003. That's a loss to the landowner of approximately $110,000.  Is this the way a non-profit should treat their landlord?  Typical of the animal rights movement in this country.  They were going to make improvements on the land, and those improvements would go towards helping out with the rent, but those improvements were in violation of the Monroe County code. Whoops, I guess the Animal rights group found out down here we all play by the rules.  How would you like to rent out your land and not get paid and have to take the renters to court all to be tied up for over 5 years and to end at square one cause, guess what, these people do not have any money. They suck off the people who they panhandle into believing they are helping animals.  I guess they will have to move on and pray on a bunch of new suckers.

[Oil Prices and drilling for more]  My take on oil is this, it is now out of the realm of supply and demand and in the hands of the speculators, which are largely controlled by Opec and there huge super fund for exactly this reason. This little item is pretty much certain; however as in all commodities they can only hold the huge increase for as long as the supply stays somewhat neutral. Drilling in Anwar would have been profitable at a much lower price, but Congress would not allow it. There is also a vast amount of oil in the Bakken field in N. Dakota extending into Wyoming and Saskatchewan, Canada.

We have the largest coal deposits at our disposal on planet earth. We have vast amounts of oil shale waiting to be exploited. I strongly believe there are not enough strong speculators on earth to hold the price up if they would let the right people do their thing. We are being held hostage to the greenies, aka Al Gore and that crowd. I have done lots of research. I am not just making up lies--we have oil right off our coasts, more than you even dreamed of, but are not allowed to go after it. Instead we champion Ethanol which without subsidies would fail. Our politicians and political correctness crowd are driving this country to the status of France. When will we face reality and come to a place called "common sense"?  If we don't start doing what any normal person knows has to be done, if we are to maintain a semblance of our customary living standards, then we will get exactly what we deserve.

I saw a beautiful sight tonight coming home from work.  It was something that I hadn't seen in a few weeks.  It was the American flag flying over Sunshine Key Park.  For some reason it was gone for a while.  I remember just a few weeks ago, my son and I walked to the end of Bahia Honda beach, and there it was, that Sunday evening, flying in the breeze.  Even then it brought tears to my eyes. The splendor and the history of what it stands for.  Then the next morning, on my way to work, it was gone.  I am glad it's back. It reminds me of what we are supposed to be, not what we have become--a society of selfish, apathetic people, pissing and moaning about every little thing.  This web site is a good indication of that some days. "Give me this, I want that."  It is time to get mad, get our heads out of the TV's and our asses off the bar stools and take back this country to be the great country that it was meant to be. 

Every American should go to a 3rd world nation to see how little they have in the way of food and shelter.  Look at Haiti right now. Maybe you would rather live there.   I plan on taking my son to see what life is like in other parts of the world. I've been there, so I understand how good we have it even in its worst times.  He needs to be humbled so he can appreciate what he has and how good our life is, even though I can't afford TV or a cell phone for him--I know he doesn't need it. 

I am mad at the government for ignoring the energy crisis all these years. We know there are far better ways to deal with this situation then buying oil from foreign nations or destroying our environment.  Mass transit needs to be perfected.  Bring back the railroads in America.  We have been poisoned by our capitalistic ways.  Money has become our god.  The perverse government of our Keys is a strong indication of our apathy--me included.  When I pass the demonstrators on Big Pine I wonder, “Are we safe today by what we are doing over there?  By us being over there, are they free to stand there safely with  fear of a car bomb and speak their mind?” I surely don't want our young men dying for nothing.  Will we ever know? 

Get mad America!  Go out and vote, write your government and tell them what you want.  Let’s make them start listening to us.  We are the government, by the people, for the people.  Not big business.  If you want the government to sit up and listen, stop buying stuff, especially imports from China.  Learn to do without.   Why are we in such an economic crisis?  Because they have brainwashed us to believe that "He with the most toys wins"  yet our hearts are still empty.   Be grateful and remember where you live, and who brought you here.  The Pilgrims came here for freedom of religion. George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, the Boston Tea party, the American Revolution, WW1 and 2, these were individuals who believed and fought for  a better way  life. Many gave their life for the benefits we now take for granted.  "Ask not, what your country can do for you, but ask, what can I do for my country?" Remember the real purpose of Memorial Day, Labor Day, and 4th of July and hopefully the next time you see the American flag waving in the breeze it will bring tears of appreciation and gratefulness to your eyes too.



[Garbage Police] Is there a remedy to trashy neighbors who do not cover their lids and is a continuous eyesore?  The deer get in to their toxic waste, it wakes us all and is strewn all over the street and into our yards.  You're ruining our paradise with this visual disturbance and garbage blowing into the canals while the rest of us work hard at keeping tidy. Flip that property and get the hell off our street. 

Hillary people won't vote for Obama.  Obama people won't vote for Hillary.  The Democrats better get it together; they better share the ticket.  There is no other alternative.  Otherwise, I'm staying home on November 11th for the first time in my life and I bet many others feel the same. 




The Human Camera Beautiful Minds: Stephen Wiltshire

Hey Republican. I can only assume you just spend most of your day, hunched over your keyboard, alternately posting blatherings on this site, and furiously pleasuring yourself to pictures of Dick Cheney. Take a break, dude. Go outside once in a while. The sun won't burn your skin. (That's just a myth about Republicans). I know you post here often because nobody else uses the term, "petro" prices. You're lengthy daily postings are growing wearisome. Try posting weekly instead of posting weakly.

Some one posted "I don’t know if the pastor said the Catholic Church was a whore or not". He did say that and McCain asked him for his endorsement and received it. He may not be a pastor I would seek help and endorsements from, but what the hell, I wouldn’t want to be in Obama’s church either. Like it or not McCain owes us the very same explanation that Republicans demanded from Obama.  Am I constipated? No, I’m better informed.

Does anybody have feelings about how bad this year’s Hurricane Season is going to be with all the weird storms in the western part of the country going nuts?


[Catholic Church] You’ve got to admit through history that clan has and continues to have strange customs and mucho riches.

[Not Ready for Prime Time] Two boys, 12 and 14, were quickly arrested in Port St. Lucie, Fla., in March when they tried to rob a woman who was working at a counter behind protective glass in an office, by picking up the convenience phone and threatening her, implying that they had a gun. The woman was in no danger because of the protective glass, but besides that, the place they had chosen for the hit was a regional office of the Port St. Lucie police department.




[Post Office] On Christmas Eve they delivered my dog’s present.  It was an oversized box with stairs so he could enter and exit the bed at will.  Later on I checked the answering machine and they had left a message that I could pick it up or they would deliver it after Christmas.  He is a dog!  I did not care when the stairs got here, but they did deliver that day.  The dog used them immediately.   Thanks BPPO from Lucky Louie.

Sandra Downs gets to the bottom of Bob Peryam's "Disappearing Files”. VIEW


Just in time for Earth Day. This is a sound map. Wild Sanctuary

Best country song on the internet http://www.tagtele.com/videos/voir/11924




For you Key Deer Lovers. 
Bambi Meets Godzilla.  Be certain to view Son of Bambi Meets Godzilla also. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAVYYe87b9w

Is it true that persons were actually ticketed by law enforcement for beeping their horns to show support for the peace demonstrators on Big Pine Key? Certainly this must be simply a rumor. If not, which law enforcement agency would actually use the law to selectively enforce such a traffic ticket? As a retired law enforcement officer I simply do not believe that would happen in the Keys nor do I believe any supervisor would tolerate such a misuse of power.

Hillary has won in all the big states that the Dems will need to win in November.


Inventor Of Water Powered Car Murdered?
/inventor-of-water-powered-car-murdered

I need someone tomorrow to accompany me to Miami and drive back a vehicle I just purchased. I will pay $75 plus free lunch.  You must have valid license. No drunks/druggies need apply. 305-304-6682



There is a persistent rumor down here that the recyclables that the few of us who bother to put them out for pickup end up in a landfill up north.

[Modular Homes] It is not how they are made, how much they cost or the fact that poor people can own a home. It is about stuffing low cost tasteless structures and the people who buy them into well established high end areas where a totally different class of people exist. People work hard all their lives and what do they get--instant shacks and affordable housing next door.  The PC crowd is tearing down any hope of individuality and privacy in this country with equalization. Keep areas classed, not mixed!

World record size Piranha. That was not a Piranha from South America, it is a Tiger Fish from Africa!

[Driving complaints] Speed up or pull over. I creeped to KW from BPK with no chance to pass today.  I’m too old for this crap

Of course the Eden Pines sign must be replaced with a new version of the old one.  The carved birds were from some old cypress that came off our house.  Too bad we didn’t save more.




Kissing test
Video

I cannot get around Barack H. Obama’s name.  I’m sure he is a fine young man.  He is Harvard educated and should have no trouble making a fortune as a lawyer.  Something just ain’t quite right about him and it always comes back to that name.

Key West High School represented Monroe County at the Florida Commissioner’s Academic Challenge Competition in Orlando April 12 where Monroe County advanced to the finals and finished fourth in the state. This competition tests the limits of students’ knowledge in higher-level math, sciences, literature, foreign languages, geography, history, fine arts and classical music. “This is the best any Monroe County Academic Challenge Team has ever done in state competition,” said Principal John Welsh. "I am extremely proud of the students and coach Kerri McLean.”

Students are identified as potential team members by academic promise, test scores and willingness to participate in practice sessions before school. Team selection is based on students who specialize in different subject areas of math, science, foreign language, history, and music. To earn the prestige of representing Monroe County at the state level the team first had to compete in the Superintendent’s Academic Challenge held in January.

For the last two years Coral Shores High School has been crowned the district champion in the Superintendent’s Academic Challenge and placed sixth in the state last year. For more information visit http://www.keysschools.com

Pictured from left to right next to Key West High School Principal John Welsh are: (in the front row) Rhonda Bacher, Sara-Wyn Eppes, Olivia Kent and (in the back row) Carson Neymoss, Noah Kent, Vincent LeNeures and coach Kerri McLean.

The new park on Big Pine Key looks to be about finished. Where are the meetings for the public's input on the final phase of the operations? You know, things like the hours of the park, final lights-off time, and general support of the parks department? Come on County government, get going.  Opening date is…?

[Coconut Telegraph Banner] Wow!  Tuesday’s Island spaceship is cool, dude!

So Sonny McCoy is going to run again, eh?  Some people just don't have enough sense to know when to quit. ~Tryin2FindIt@aol.com


[The Fox Fur Nebula] The characteristic blue glow on the left is dust reflecting light from the bright star S Mon, just beyond the left edge of the image. Mottled pink and brown areas are a combination of the cosmic dust and reddish emission from ionized hydrogen gas.

[Ticked at war protest]  Since there were other warnings, is it possible the car was pulled over for some other reason, like speeding, running the light, no signal, etc? What exactly was the driver written a ticket for?  This one interests me the most since there is no violation that carries a fine of $73.  I seem to recall this same rumor being spread a few weeks ago. 

When ever I try to view a video link on your site, I get a Cannot Display This Page error.  Then I go back to your site by way of the Back button, but the site locks up and I have to reconnect to it.  I cannot figure out why this happens, because all picture links work fine, it's just the Video links. I tried a Right Click, Properties and copied the Video's link, inserted it into the Internet Explorer's window, but when I activate the connection it just keep trying to load, and gets nowhere. The F-5 key does nothing on my system either, I have to reconnect to get the GIF animations moving. (Ed: I’m sorry this is happening, but I don’t know the cause. Does anyone else have this problem?)

I am happy to see I am not the only one who knows about 420(?). Thanks for mentioning it.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will delete it and we can't read it.
More...

Wednesday April 23, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Tuesday April 22, 2008







Earth Day 2008
This is not an endorsement for me as a candidate. It only ensures that I can be on the ballot without paying the filing fee of nearly $5,000.00. Please help ensure democracy this November and sign and mail back the petition. I greatly appreciate your contribution. Thank you. Sandra Downs for Sheriff. http://sandyforsheriff.com/please_sign_my_petition.htm

[Eye Witness at peace demo] I don’t care what Rick Roth said, I was standing right next to the officer handing out the citations. He gave out a few warnings and then gave one person a $73 ticket. I asked the officer why he had given the young lad a ticket and the others warnings. He replied that it was his discretion. I then asked him what this person had done that the others did not, to which I got no reply. I don’t know who wrote that he (the offender) called the officer "pig" because I was there the whole time and heard nothing of the sort.

Peak Oil has arrived and every time you gas up you feel the effect. Yesterday I loaded my motorcycle for $13 and I felt very European; except they use their surplus gas taxes to pay for health care for all their citizens--they don't hold bake sales in England to pay for doctor bills.

Peak Oil doesn't mean we have no petroleum left. It just means we have consumed the easily available reserves and every barrel we consume in the future will be the product of greater effort and cost more energy to put in our tanks. If Anwar had been worth drilling at $40 a barrel they would have. There never again will be gasoline as cheap as it was five years ago. The oil companies now know we will pay $4 a gallon and still drive inefficient vehicles. Use is dropping but its not plummeting and so we have set the price and the oil companies know what we are willing to pay.

Drilling will not reduce the price that we are currently paying--why would it? If your customers will pay $4 a gallon and still drive 20 mpg cars would you drop the price? Would you cut your profits? Be sensible!

The only way to cut your cost is to use less, far less gas. Until you and all your neighbors have the wit to abandon gas guzzling cars and stop wasting energy you will pay through the nose for your addiction. Think of the ways you waste energy on things you don't need to use (an extra refrigerator just to cool beer? Is that worth $5 a gallon gas to you?), Porch lights blazing all night?  A/Cs set to 65 degrees? It’s not a matter of stopping global warming, its a matter of saving energy so you could still try to afford to drive to work.

As long as we don't change our habits the cost of oil will rise. So far I see no sign we really understand how much a gallon of gas is really going to cost. If any of this makes sense to you try researching "cradle to cradle." You will see waste in a whole new light.

Mr. Neugent much thanks to your recent update on the horn honking episode on Key Deer Blvd.  The Habitat Conservation Plan (HCP) that you helped craft and voted for sucks and it’s about time you helped those poor folks on No Name Key.

[Democrat control of Congress]  A poster moaned that the Dem majority in Congress can’t get any meaningful legislation passed because of that nasty Republican minority.  And, believe it or not that same poster actually defended earmarks.  I recall a pretty important piece of legislation that was blocked by the majority party in the House and Senate.  The majority party so violently opposed this legislation that they even filibustered against it.  That majority party was the Democrat party.  The Republican minority was able to push though the legislation over strident Democrat opposition.  What was the legislation?  It was the Civil Rights Act of 1964. 

That’s right, the Democrat legislative leadership opposed the Civil Rights Act of 1964.  The point is simple; the Democrats right now have the clout to permit us to begin exploiting our own resources.  The Republicans don’t have the will or the clout to get it done.  The Republicans are the party that is most likely to support bringing down petro prices by drilling our own, but they lack the will.  I hope you’ve got the bucks to pay for $4 plus per gallon of gas.  When it happens, thank a Democrat.

But what about earmarks?  The earmark practice has evolved over the years to a black art form.  Our craven legislators have learned to hide many of the odious projects in legislation after the legislation has left the floor.  I find it difficult to believe that anyone could offer support for projects like Hillary’s Woodstock Museum project, and the infamous Bridge to Nowhere, (a Republican disgrace).  One of my favorites is Democratic Whip James Clyburn of South Carolina who sponsored a $3 million earmark for The First Tee, which, according to its web site, “provides young people of all backgrounds an opportunity to develop life-enhancing values such as confidence, perseverance and judgment through golf.”  This year alone our pockets get picked to the tune of $17.2 billion in earmark spending.  $3.5 billion of which no sponsor even dared to put his name on!

Hurry up and get your tomatoes because Lost Cargo Trading Post will be closed Thursday 24 and Friday 25. We will reopen bright and early Saturday morning with a fresh truck load of produce.

I needed gas on Sunday and drove into Paradise Petroleum.  I read the prices and promptly drove out.  How is it that Paradise Petroleum who carries Mobile Gas was $4.29 a gallon for super and Dion's on Summerland who also carries Mobile was $3.79 a gallon for Super?  I filled at Dion's and put a copy of my receipt in the mail sending it to Paradise telling them why I will never even buy a piece of gum there.  I urge everyone else to write to Paradise too.


[A billion seconds ago it was 1959] Not true. I read that myself back in 1991 when it was true. A billion seconds is just under 32 years. If you're going to bash the President at least grab your calculator and check your math. Besides, running this country must be a crappy job, you can tell by our current applicants. A smart person wouldn't want that job.

I started campaigning for the Sheriff’s race and because of this I was contacted by certain individuals. I came to know information that is not generally made public. I wrote several articles on my website about Cindy Peryam being Director of Internal Affairs while her husband was a Captain. The is an obvious conflict compromising her investigative role into her husband and their friend's activities. Bob Peryam is the Democratic candidate for Sheriff. I learned of Bob Peryam’s activities through his victim’s mother. I learned of Cindy Peryam’s attempts to cover his misdeeds, and the role Sheriff Roth played in it all from the victim’s mother. I also learned several other things. I attempted to get the information which is public, or should be, and distribute it for consideration to those who will cast a vote in this race. I think it is only fair the voters be informed. The problem is Bob Peryam’s file is squeaky clean (missing those files) due to his wife’s position. ~Sandy downs Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel
I wasn't able to make it to Crazy Fish for the Grand Opening.  How was it?




There sure were a lot of horns honking at the peace rally Saturday. It seemed very festive on the corner of US1 and the Blvd. There’s no one in that area who would get upset over the honking as there are no homes in the area.

Watch what you eat, you never know where it’s been. Video

World wide food prices have doubled in the past six months, partly due to the US crowing corn for ethanol and higher fuel prices. Wheat is up 130% and rice is up 74%. There are already food riots in Haiti where food prices have risen 77% causing the government to step down. In South Africa today there are thousands of people marching in the streets protesting higher food costs. With the soaring price of food and oil we are heading to a global recession.

I think this is about nose hair. The old guy will have stuff to say to you if you’re not moving fast enough  http://www.shaveeverywhere.com/




Ha, ha
. Video

This remarkable film of the last plane from Da Nang, Vietnam could very well happen again if the US were to suddenly pull out of Iraq. World Airways-Last Flight from Da Nang



For campaign junkies. http://www.slate.com/id/2175823/

Will Hillary win Pennsylvania today and enable her to stay in the race? I don't think so.

The Aston Martin due to be used by James Bond in the latest film about the secret agent has been crashed into Italy's Lake Garda. A stunt driver was on his way to deliver the £120,000 sports car to the set of Quantum of Solace when he drove off a narrow bend in heavy rain, producers said. Italian television showed the car - reportedly the only one available

[Welfare gone wild] Meet families in which not one member has worked for three generations. The grandmother matriarch of one, Sue McFadden,54, said: "Our neighbours are so snobby - they call us the 'Shameless' family and say that we ought to go out to work. But how can we work when we have all these children to look after?" Raised on welfare, the 'Why Bother?' generation that doesn't want to work

Please get yourselves over Bill Clinton. In case you haven’t heard he’s been out of office for almost 10 years. Geeze, already. No wonder Republicans are getting your arses handed to you in recent elections. You cannot even get your brains past the1990s for heavens sake. Yesterday called and wants you to return your outdated history books. Catch up. Go ahead and vote for John McCain. I’m sure the pope will love the association with someone whom thinks the Roman Catholic religion is a whore. At least that’s how the man McCain sought out to endorse him thinks

~I don't know if some pastor called the Catholic religion a whore or not. I would have to see a little more info than your post to believe it. We are still light years from “God D. America”, and “K.K.K. America”, and the AIDS bit and on and on. Your point is small and your comparisons are weak, to believe otherwise one must really torture a  point. Why do you labor so hard to defend the indefensible? If you can't see the difference in the two scenarios your brain is really constipated.

[Lucas Wins Diaper Derby] Josiah Lucas of Tavernier, at a spunky 10 months old, took first place in the Sun 103.1 FM Kid’s Show Diaper Derby held Saturday at Coral Shores High School. Proud father Robert Lucas, who is the athletic director at Island Christian School, said, “Our friend’s daughter Angeline (DePaula) was in the lead. My boy wasn’t going to let her win so he sped up and overtook her for first place.”

Lucas was awarded a case of Pampers diapers. He was greeted at the finish line by his mother Nancy and cheered on by his sisters Cynthia, age 5, and Natalie who is almost 3. Hailing from Key Largo, 8-month-old DePaula came in second place.

That was just another Big Pine rumor, no one was ticketed for honking there horn.  I had been back and forth all day Saturday and I never heard any horns at all.

During Spring Break Coral Shores High School students were featured on Channel One’s Going Green News, with programs delivered daily to six million middle and high school students nationwide. The segment about the coral reef restoration Dave Makepeace’s marine biology class is doing runs almost four minutes and can still be seen online. Channel One’s Jessica Kumari and crew spent the day with the students in late January both in the class room and underwater in the coral nursery off Key Largo filming for the segment. The news segment about Coral Shores’ students came about after Tavernier resident Ken Nedimyer appeared on NBC News. He spoke about the coral restoration success he has seen with the rapid growth of the Staghorn coral which is on the threatened species list – just one step from being endangered.

The video shows students hammering re-bar into the ground to mount bases for the nursery. In other clips students mount coral clippings to the bases or measure growth of previously mounted clippings. The class hopes to finish mounting 600 clippings by the end of the school year.

To see the “Going Green – Coral Reefs” segment follow the link from www.keysschools.com.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Tuesday April 22, 2008

 

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Monday April 21, 2008

I spoke last night to Sheriff Rick Roth about the posted message of the Sheriff’s Dept. issuing tickets to horn blowers at the intersection of US-1 and Key Deer Blvd. He emphatically stated that was not true. If, in fact, anyone got a ticket for “honking” their horn for peace. 

Rick agreed with me that if there was a peace group there it becomes a First Amendment Right to honk or blow your horn. And besides, who would it offend? We love and support our troops – some just disagree with the war and that is their right!   ~Neugent-George@monroecounty-fl.gov


Kudos to Fradinne
,  an employee at the Winn Dixie. I used one of the self-check out stations, got cash back and then stupidly left the cash in the bill tray. A few minutes later I returned to see if it was still there. Fradinne had it for me. Thanks!

It has just been brought to my attention that the person ticketed $73 at the Big Pine Peace Rally, (for honking supposedly), called the Officer a "Pig". That is totally disrespectful and not a common trait of our gatherings. We meet every Sat. from 10-11. We stand faithful to our cause, which remains: Bring them home. End the war. Peace and "always respect others". Please do not honk for peace. A simple peace sign, wave or smile will do. Thank you for your support.








If the youth get off their iPods and vote, Obama will win. There is optimism in youth.

Because many dollar-store items are mass-produced by little-known manufacturers in China, there's a considerable risk of high lead content, cautions Marianne Szymanski, founder of ToyTips.com, a toy safety resource for parents. "Don't buy kids' products from the dollar store," she says. Especially risky are any items made of metal or that will have close contact with your child's skin -- like jewelry. In 2007, the CPSC announced recalls for more than 1.5 million jewelry products from dollar and discount stores due to high lead content. While just touching the items can't hurt, kids do tend to put things in their mouths, Szymanski says. And lead-laced paint can easily flake and be ingested.

"The dollar store products can be dicey," says Marks. Because the FDA considers multivitamins a dietary supplement, there's significantly less oversight when it comes to their composition and effects on the body than there is for prescription medications. In a 2004 analysis, Consumer Reports found that half of the dollar-store vitamin brands it studied contained less of the nutrients claimed on the label, or failed to dissolve properly when ingested. No such problems turned up in similar investigations of major brand names.

That was a very short sighted post yesterday about drilling in Anwar. How would our lives be better if we destroyed the environment? What in the Keys is third world? How are we living like caveman by being stewards of our land for future generations? He must be looking at something I’ve not seen. Does he think that developing the Keys is the thing to do? Based on that foolish post I will bet he’s been denied a building permit and is bitter. And don’t kid yourself, if we drill in Anwar the price of oil will not fall one red cent.

I remember watching "This Old House" when they went to a Modular Home factory and showed how they were made.  I don't know if they are all made that way, but this one was an impressive operation.



[Snowbirds heading north and not going to be missed] If you owned your own business and depended on the snowbirds to make a living you would miss them dearly!  I like the fact that there is less traffic on the highway and it seems more peaceful, but I do miss their dollars! They are the reason I am able to be living in paradise. 

It's sad to see the ranting of one local political candidate when they are aimed at innocent people. The neighbor who trimmed his mangroves got a legal permit well in advance, and that is a matter of public record. The sheriff who is accused of killing the candidate's son had nothing to do with the accident. This is also a matter of public record. We all grieve with the candidate over the loss of a son, and perhaps can understand these rantings. It's just unfortunate that it has to occur within an election campaign and especially that innocent people have to be falsely accused.








A good reason to put off the wedding. Video

I guess it’s time to go into John McCain’s religious background in the name of fair and balanced. It seems John McCain sought the endorsement and applauded Reverend John Magee. He’s the man that called the Roman Catholic church the "great whore" and called the church "A false cult system". I guess John McCain won’t be applauding the Popes visit. You have to wonder about a man that seeks the endorsement from someone of that mentality. I’m curious to see if Republicans demand he explain himself as they did for Obama. It’s great to be an independent. If we consider this country to be a Christian nation do we really want someone in office who seeks out people calling the catholic church a "whore"?

[Thief at one of the post offices] I too have had a card opened and the money stolen out of it and delivered to me opened. I had a box delivered to the post office with tracking numbers but never delivered to me.  The post office manager said they can't find the box.  Something needs to be done!

[The Earth is Flat]  Bush recognizes global warming, finally!




Click on a square to see the complaint. Cell Phone Coverage Complaint Maps - AT&T, Sprint / Nextel, T-Mobile, Verizon

[Censored porn site] After heading north from BPK for the summer I'm on a ferry heading to Nantucket for a couple of months and thought I'd catch up on life on BPK.  Shocked is the only word to describe my reaction when I discovered that bigpinekey.com is banned by the Hyannis-Nantucket ferry Internet service due to porn!  Guess I'll have to wait until we get Comcast hooked up tomorrow.

Just the other day a poster accused the Republicans of stealing elections.  I guess the poster has a real short memory.  The Democrats widely accused the Republicans of stealing the presidential election of 2000.  The count and ballots that received the scrutiny and publicity came from Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties.  All three counties are bastions of Democrat power.  All three counties had elected Supervisors of Elections.  All three of the Supervisors were Democrat.  All the ballots in all three counties had been designed by and approved by Democrats. Any shenanigans were Democrat shenanigans!  Folks, you decide if the poster was just wrong, or was he intentionally lying?

[Peace rally] I can't believe the cops in this town have nothing better to do than give tickets to people who are honking for peace. That is so petty!   Can you go to jail for honking?

In the Devil’s Advocate post I said my experience has been that when someone I barely know tells me he will never lie to me and I can trust him, I can expect to have a bazooka shoved up my butt. Mr Rojos emailed me that he did not own a bazooka.
 
Figure of speech Carlos, which you know.  After posting yesterday’s FlaKey Drivel, I just happened to run into someone who has been very active in Key West politics for a very long time. Very active. Very visible. Very concerned about Key West, its future. Not a developer’s acolyte. Very One Human Family, in my experience. This person said you are Cortex’s boy. If he said this, other people are hearing it too, and lots of people will be hearing it because of who this person is and who he runs with. I hope you are not Cortex’s boy, Carlos. For your sake, for the Keys sake. What we need here are candidates and public officials who truly want to put the Keys and the ordinary Keys Joes and Janes first--for a change. Are you that kind of person, Carlos? I hope so, but so far I just don’t see it. I wrote yesterday about what you have shown me so far. And I got clobbered pretty good yesterday evening by what could be described as a bazooka. It came at me straight out of the spirit, right into my body. Hit me in the rear, exited in the front, just below and to the right of my navel, where I had the MRSA sore for a few weeks, which had healed. Pretty spooky. 
Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel


Since when has
opposing political views meant that you can’t simply disagree, but you have to actually hate the other person? People throw around words like liberal and conservative like there are both bad words and an insult. Our country will never be great again until we are united again.

Monroe County budget Director Sal Zappulla was paid $145,000 because he was fired. This is not right. There’s something wrong going on.






The other
President Bush caught a 130 pound tarpon in Lignumvitae Channel yesterday. That man is something else! Way to go, George. (I wish his bad son would do something noteworthy that we could be proud of.)

As I was driving pass No Name Pub yesterday morning on the way to church when a car flew out of Doctors Arm Road without even slowing down.  he missed my by a few inches. As he swirled passed he gave me the finger. He's going to really hurt somebody, perhaps some of the walkers on the road. It was an old blue car with a loud muffler. If you see him please report it to the police.


[The Movies] Stick your head out the window right now and yell “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dib2-HBsF08

Ever wonder where your federal tax dollars go?  A bunch of it goes off to teach people in other countries why it's good to vote and do it like Americans.   Support democratic development around the world. Can you spell imperialism? Anybody out there still wondering if we're really trying to push our way of life on the rest of the world?

[6,000 reporters are following the Pope.] Better him than Britney.






A song for President Bush and all his brainwashed supporters. No 12-Step for Stupid-

Great Mr. Neugent and thanks for your well articulated response to the Trauma Star folly. What I hear is that they have not collected a dime on your million dollars worth of invoices and Trauma Star is big time losing venture. A stop sign is a public safety investment too, but once it's in the ground you don't need four nurses and 5 pilots to feed it after it's in the ground.  George, you can fool some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time. ~Govwatch05@tampabay.rr.com








[$4 gas in Californian] I know gas is outrageous, but I have to agree with the other guy that drilling in Alaska and off shore Florida won't lower the price. Remember who we're dealing with--oilmen!

I lived in a modular home before building my concrete home and own two others as rental homes.  They are built very tough and were cost effective to build.  Just be careful which builder you hire.  The builder who was in the news paper a few months back for being arrested after taking over $500,000 in deposits that he never turned in is a modular builder.  He is still doing business and still taking deposits.  Beware of who you choose. 

[Gym talk]
"Bertha, how can those women stay in the steam room so long?"
"Oh Ruth, you better tell that guy his athletic supporter broke!"
"Hello Ms., I'm the fitness instructor. My name's Richard Large' !"
"Betty, I know I'm not supposed to wipe my face with the towel after wiping the seat, but I love it!"
"Helen, that old guy said he has "Official Lip Weights" in the back room!"
"Sheila, how come all the muscle guys never talk to us?"
"Mary, those girls must be from Europe, with all the hair they have!"

[More bar wisdom--Spring break edition] Is there anything better than a tanned ass?



The other day my best buddy for 20 years told me he and my wife have been having an affair for the last 3 years. I was really hit hard by this, and even harder when I saw the tears in his eyes as I signed over the title to her, gave him 10 cases of Bud, and all her cloths. It was a sad day for sure!

A friend building a house checked the progress at lunch and found the crew chowing down on KFC and tossing the bones, etc, into the unfinished wall cavities.  This lead to questions about what was concealed in the finished areas.  A “vandal” conveniently destroyed the drywall overnight, making it necessary to reopen those areas and redo under the owner's watchful eye.  I doubt that's a big problem with the modulars.

I don't know if anyone has thought about this, but George W. has it all wrong. He put the troops in the wrong place. The enemy of the USA is not Al Qaida, not the Taliban--It's the Saudis. The troops should be in Riyadh and Mecca. The Saudi royal family has been conducting a sudo-war against the USA for decades. They have so much money they can finance anything (If it was in their interest for all camels to have 3 humps, they could finance it). All it would take is a few investigative reporters with access to them and all the outrages committed against the USA could be traced to the Saudis. Of course it doesn't make things easier with George W. being in bed with them.

Bow hunting is just a way to beat the gun hunters to the deer--you can’t cheat unless you know all the rules!


A must read if you are upgrading your operating system, buying a new computer, or trying to get things from Vista that may not be in the version you have. http://www.microsoft.com/windows/products/windowsvista/footnotes.mspx

After long and serious thought, I have decided to endorse Senator John McCain for President.  I have always voted for the person and have not voted for anyone because some political party was telling me who I should vote for.

We all know the choices by now and, that said, I do believe that the process of selecting a chief executive is deeply flawed. The words “money” and “special interests” come to mind, among many others.

Here's the way I see it: Barack Obama, you are a fine public speaker. You are also an extremely liberal Senator from the State of Illinois, which has a long and rich history of political corruption of the first magnitude. You are indeed a child of that system. You have finally insulted my intelligence far beyond my capacity to tolerate your insults.  It has nothing at all to do with your skin color. As a matter of fact it would be so cool to finally have an African-American for President. What a great statement that would be to the entire world that we are indeed the greatest country on earth. But, unfortunately, General Colin Powell is not running, and you are not the man for this job.

Barack baby, you want me to believe that you have never heard the sermons of your own pastor, the Right Reverend 'God Damn America' Jeremiah Wright. It is a matter of record that this has been your church for over 20 years. It is a matter of record that you were married there by this very pastor, and that your children were baptized there. The good Reverend saw fit to visit Khadafy in Libya with you and to give a lifetime achievement award to Louis Farrakhan--of all people. We have all now seen excerpts of his sermons all over the airwaves by now and you have publicly stated that this man is your spiritual mentor. Your pastor is not the reason I am not voting for you. His words were disturbing enough, but it is your own huge church congregation seen jumping, hooting and howling to his words in the background that disturb me the most. Don't tell me, that in addition to the good reverend, that you are now not having any thing to do with all those other people seen hooting and howling out in the audience in the background of his fiery tirades. Even Oprah Winfrey got disgusted and walked out. I am no Oprah fan, but still she did the right thing.

Yes, Mr. Obama, we all have friends who have said stupid things that embarrassed us, but NOW you have asked me to believe something that is so incredibly stupid that you are telling me that I am just stupid enough to believe you. That is the main reason that I will never vote for you.

Now, did I mention Bill Clinton?

Ah, yes! This brings us to Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton, who this candidate really is in spite of all the other names she may care to call herself. But let's set aside your hubby's flagrant peccadilloes. The real reason I will never vote for you is that I don't think the country can survive four more years of Whitewater, Travelgate, Filegate, Sandy Berger stuffing his socks with classified intelligence, Janet Reno's goon squad, and the myriad other corruptions that seem to stick to you. You and your husband are incapable of telling the truth. He could not do it if you tortured him, and in voting for you, we would get the both of you, all over again The same folks who could have taken out Osama Bin Laden over 3,000 dead Americans ago. 

And please stop telling me that you have 8 years of experience to lead us. You were the freakin' first lady, already, not the Commander in Chief. The sum of your experience is that of the most worrisome and incompetent meddling in the history of the White House. You even cursed your pitiful staff and the Secret Service agents who were, and still are, unfortunately charged with risking their lives to protect you. Yes, I would vote for a woman, but I will not vote for you!

Which leaves us with Senator John McCain. John, you are a flawed man. You are a bit old, a bit looney, and you have a notoriously bad temper. This perfectly qualifies you, in my humble opinion, to lead us for the next four years. I want your trembling hand on the nuclear button. Think about it. We have Kim Jong IL, Chavez and Ahmadinejad all running around like lunatics, threatening America and threatening to plunge the world into nuclear Armageddon. We have Putin and the Chinese. I want John McCain in the Oval Office and I want him to be really pissed off at all these other nut jobs around the planet. John, once you are elected, I want you to go into the Oval Office and throw one of your perfect fits. Jump up and down and throw something through a plate glass window. Rip the drapes down and foam at the mouth a bit. And I want the whole thing on camera so that Ahmadinejad can see it. I want ALL of these world leaders to lay awake at night and to break out in a cold sweat every time they think of messing with the United States of America.

I want the nuclear button sitting right next to the alarm clock on your night stand I want pictures of this to be sent to Iran, Russia, China, Venezuela, Cuba, Libya, Syria, Pakistan, and those other sheet wearing jerks, the Saudis.

On the domestic front, poor John did try and reach across the aisle to the opposition in a desperate effort to compromise and to get the Congress to do something. You may not agree with his efforts, but at least he tried. For all his efforts, all he got handed to him was his head in a basket. The liberals are pissed at him and the conservatives are pissed at him. Just my kind of guy.

I predict that John will select Senator Joe Lieberman as his running mate. Good choice. I want a Jew whose memory of the Holocaust is still fresh in his mind and who is royally pissed off at all of these towel-headed morons in the Middle East to be the next in line if something should happen to John. Shalom, Vice President Joe. One heartbeat from the Oval Office.

Finally, John McCain knows on a most personal level what it is to suffer horrible torture for years and to see others die for their love of America.  When you ask him about it, he will tell you that what he did was nothing special. Even more incredibly, he states that any American who truly loves his country would do exactly the same as he did in that situation.

You and I will have a hard time believing that, but the real point is that John McCain believes that about the average American and that, dear friends and neighbors, is why I will cast my one poor ballot for on election day for John McCain--warts and all.

[Social Security Correction] Several days ago I submitted a post that knocked Social Security and accused the Democrats of being responsible for many of the ills of the system as it has evolved and is now currently constituted.  When I wrote the post I relied on information that I had received from a trusted friend.  I failed to fact check the post.  We’ve been out of town for several days, and I have just learned that a substantial portion, but not all, of my accusations were factually inaccurate.  The error is not my friend’s error, it is my error for not doing due diligence. I know better.  I was wrong.  I regret the posting, and I apologize for my erroneous accusations. Please accept my assurance that no intent was made to intentionally deceive.  Having said all that, it does not change my assessment of the SS system.

I’m convinced that the system is deeply flawed and that the Baby Boomers and GenXers will suffer.  I will submit another post on this issue in a few days.

Fools who think it is better to make money than to breath are running this planet.



[
Mystery photo] No Name Key at the end of the canal?

[luxury of living in 'paradise'] Paradise is way, way over-rated.

[World Record Size Piranha] Want to go fishing or swimming in the Amazon?

[Eden Pines Entrance Sign]  I hope we get a replacement soon. It was the best sign of all the subdivisions. We have some very talented people living here and I'm sure someone would love to design another one.

(?)I can't believe nobody wrote in to wish a happy 420.  Let me be the first to wish the keys a belated happy 420!

The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Monday April 21, 2008

 

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Sunday April 20, 2008

As for infrastructure funding used for Trauma Star, the life saving helicopter used/utilized by the Monroe County Sheriff’s Department, as opposed to the infrastructure money used to fund The Vandenberg, Hickory House, Airport (Key West), the writer is correct. I did vote to fund the Trauma Star as opposed to Mr. DiGennaro’s projects utilizing infrastructure funds (also referred to as 304 Funds) to buy an overpriced defunct restaurant, an overpriced contentious ship sinking, and a monument to a commissioner.  Trauma Star, of which has been documented, has saved the lives of many men, women and children who have received life threatening injuries and illnesses in its short existence of a couple of years. Yes, it was expensive, however, unlike the un-prioritized folly mentioned above, Trauma Star is a public safety investment and has invoiced over one million dollars to date and will possibly cover its operating expenses in the future. The $14,000,000 of infrastructure money tied up in DiGennaro, McCoy and Spehar’s folly will never be returned. That $14,000,000 would have gone a long way in addressing the pressing needs of the property owners of the lower keys who may very well have to pay full freight on hooking up to wastewater mandated by the State (about $25,000 as opposed to the $4,700 for Big Coppitt). For my 3 colleagues and yourself, who obviously do not recognize the difference in human lives as opposed to buying conveniences--because it makes them and their cronies feel good--try to explain that to the voters and the crew of Trauma Star, who put their lives on the line every time they go on a mission, in the next election. ~Neugent-George@monroecounty-fl.gov





6,000 reporters
are following around the Pope.

[The Movies] How is it that whenever they see blood on the floor the characters stick their finger in it and say, “Blood”? Is that supposed to titillate some perversity the audience supposedly possesses?


[
Youth Challenge]
If you really want to challenge a youth, see if he can read a book, or last a day without a cell phone or iPod.

Ditto on the up's to the new Thai restaurant at Garrison Bight. Great food, reasonably-priced (they even had a buy one, get one half off coupon in the mullet wrapper there for a while) and what a view from their deck! And the parking is free--that's a plus, so check it out some time.





As for the low life that hit the Eden Pines sign and then took off, I hope he did get hurt!  I figure the only thing he had an attack of was probably Jack Daniels or something similar.

I have been in many modular homes and they are built great.  Most of them were built under the new ROGO guidelines giving them an extra ROGO point if they build it to 175 MPH wind load whereas the legal requirement is only 155 MPH.  A category 5 hurricane is only 150 MPH.  Remember, a modular is built thousands of miles away and driven on a truck at 70 mph to get here.  It is still in one piece.  I would have another contractor do the final detail work.  That is where the modular builders skimp.  The interior is cheaply done. The structure itself is as tough as they get.

Remember Lee Iacocca, the man who rescued Chrysler Corporation from its death throes?  He has a new book, and here are some excerpts.

"Am I the only guy in this country who's fed up with what's happening?  Where the hell is our outrage?  We should be screaming bloody murder.  We've got a gang of clueless bozos steering our ship of state right over a cliff, we've got corporate gangsters stealing us blind, and we 
can't even clean up after a hurricane much less build a hybrid car.  But instead of getting mad, everyone sits around and nods their heads when the politicians say, "Stay the course"

Stay the course?  You've got to be kidding.  This is America, not the damned "Titanic".  I'll give you a sound bite: "Throw all the bums out!"

You might think I'm getting senile, that I've gone off my rocker, and maybe I have.  But someone has to speak up.  I hardly recognize this country anymore.

The most famous business leaders are not the innovators but the guys in handcuffs.  While we're fiddling in Iraq , the Middle East is burning and nobody seems to know what to do.  And the press is waving 'pom -poms' instead of asking hard questions.  That's not the promise of the " America " my parents and yours traveled across the ocean for.  I've had enough.  How about you?

I'll go a step further.  You can't call yourself a patriot if you're not outraged.  This is a fight I'm ready and willing to have.




[Redux] Now you can see anyone's driver's license on the Internet, including your own. I just searched for mine and there it was...picture and all!   http://www.license.shorturl.com/ 

[American Cetacean Society] Or you could join the Marine Mammal Conservancy in Key Largo.  They have many Lower Keys volunteers.




[
Opened birthday cards]
Look in the Miami phone directory, find a listing for U.S. Postal Service Postal Inspectors or Inspection Service, contact them about this. They are the FBI of the Postal Service, and they take theft of mail very, very serious and they're experts at catching the thieves. Better to do this rather than reporting it locally.

[Buy a Blackberry to surf web] You want us to pay for it? This is the whole point of ripping off the boss and the company, Dude!



While rallying at the Big Pine Peace Rally yesterday, a car passing by was pulled over and issued a $73 ticket because he honked his horn for our cause. Minutes later, another car was pulled over on Watson Blvd. and was issued a warning. Please do not honk for peace! A simple wave or Peace Sign back will do. Smile. We do not wish to disturb the neighborhood. Our cause remains the same: Bring them home. End the war. Peace.

[Toll road] That was a well spoken piece about the snowbirds. Everything has gone global and that gives a person the opportunity to run into a lot of jerks. Most people used to stay in their own neighborhoods. I'll rather have the Keys like they used to be, but then nothing is like it used to be.




There’s no second chance when setting IEDs. Boom!

Ode to the turd inspector.
Oh Flakey. Flakey we missed you so,
Every one asked where did he go?
You hate our pancakes you hate our turds,
You really think were for the birds,
Even though you holler and then you pout,
We really love you without a doubt.
We wish you would show your face,
We know it must be some place,
Come talk to us,
We have missed you so,
See you later
I've got to go.





Happy Birthday
Steve Miller!
  It's so nice to see his smiling face and hear him on the radio.  He's funny. 

[Mystery photo] The Blue Hole?



Last night was a full moon and to promote good growth, a haircut and trimming plants bring tremendous results.  I think the fishing is good too.  I hope we have clear skies and no porch lights for a little while. 

The keys (well, actually the whole state of Florida) is a tourist trap. If you have the luxury of living in 'paradise', you have to deal with the consequences and the perks. Lets face it, the people in the keys and many places in Florida would not survive if not for the tourists/snowbirds. Snowbird/tourist season is not my favorite time of year either. What do you do for a living? If you run a charter boat, dive boat, dive shop, sell sandals, t-shirts, work as a chef, waitress, etc, or own a restaurant--then there is everyone's favorite--the realtor or whatever, the tourist industry supports you and the keys. What else is there other than tourism? It started with Flagler’s railroad. If we could just get everyone to go visit Newark, NJ (ick) or some such place that would be great. Then what would happen to the tourism dollars that people in Florida depend on? The tourism industry supports many businesses and the snowbird homeowners pay their fair share of property taxes. I don't have an answer for everyone on this site who seems to complain about tourists and snowbirds. I wish I did, but we all choose to live in the Sunshine State and our beloved keys. This is the price we pay for our paradise. If this is not paradise who would want to come here and why would we be here? One cannot keep a good thing a secret for long. Just about everyone I have met in the keys that claim to be a keys resident was born out of state. My survey dates back 27 years and I have been here longer than that.


Let me first say that I don't live in a manufactured home, but I'm in a business that does a lot of retrofitting for audio and video in houses. I will tell you that in recent years these homes are much better built than the older homes and will withstand the "big blow” better than most. Of course they are defiantly more of a pain in the butt to retro fit because of the superior construction. The only difference is they all look similar. Few people opt for the cool architectural details available.

I believe that George W. is the worst president in my lifetime dating back to Truman. He may not be the worst of all time, but he most certainly is the most ignorant and un-worldly. I tire of the conservatives who continue to deny it.

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective.
a. A billion seconds ago it was 1959.
b. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
c. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
d. A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
e. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.


Hi, this is Mandee Sawtelle the daughter of Maureen Sawtelle. I just wanted to clear things up for people.  My mom was hit by an RV on Friday April 18th. She was flown to Ryder Trauma Center in Miami and is in critical condition but stable. She is not dead so don't let anyone tell you that. She does have some serious injuries though. Wish her luck and hopefully she'll make it through this—she’s tough!

If you would like to contact me with any questions you can send me an email at firefighter_4life10@yahoo.com 

[Mystery Picture] Is the picture the Ramrod swimming hole?


[Elitist knocking the “instant house"] I doubt that the guy is an elitist, more likely one of those alcoholic rednecks that build houses. I would rather have a home made under factory specifications than one made by a good old boy with a hammer in one hand and a Bud in the other. 

[Markets establish prices for oil]  Well hallelujah, you answered the question yourself.  If we had been able to drill for the abundance of oil that is in Anwar, and by flooding the market here with much more oil (and much cheaper to ship because it is so much closer to our market); oil commodity prices would have to be lower.  The more oil on the market from other sources than OPEC (that is why OPEC withholds production to keep the price up), the more oil for China and India and all the countries coming out of the dark ages and joining the 21st century.  That’s simply supply and demand ECON 101.  If the environmentalist had not stopped Anwar the price of a barrel would be lots less and you would not be riding a bicycle to work.  If the nuts did not use endangered species to hold progress down to a slow crawl we would not be looking like a 3rd world country in the Keys.  It’s sad to see the young people priced out of their homes and packing up in droves down here and it is all on the backs of the environmental movement.  A bunch of “I got mine, to hell with you people” who would like to live like cavemen rather than empower and use the present century as a springboard to newer and better lives.  How many subdivisions do you think there are in America where if you have an empty lot, and if you are lucky enough not to have some wacko type of endangered tree in the middle of it, that you may have to wait 8-20 years to build your dream retirement home that you have looked forward to and worked towards for years?  How many places could it cost you 90,000+ mitigation fees just to get said permit. We are going to turn this thing around and I keep watching what is happening and the people moving in can afford the fees and will still get the houses built and it will be the wackos packing up and leaving the Keys soon cause they won't be able to afford to stay!  Good riddance.

A song for all the snowbirds driving on the highway. Snailman  by Tommy G. & the Escargots

[If everyone used only Email] What would they do with the post office and all of the employees? Those people need to eat too!

[Bow hunting is the worst way to shoot any animal] I disagree whole heartedly.  Most Bow hunters target shoot after the season, during the season, and just whenever they have time, more than I can say for gun hunters.  The reason for this is to hone your skills, as well as judge distances.  Most bow hunters will not take the shot unless he knows he has a “kill” shot (ie. heart, double lung, spine).  We don’t hunt to cause animals to suffer, on the contrary, for food, as well as herd management.  I cannot tell you how many times I have seen bad shots on an animal from a firearm.  But you’re entitled to your opinion, but we all know what they are like. Rock on Ted!

I hope the Bushies don't stop posting. They bring some twisted humor to this site. Anyone who still believes that Bush was ever correct either needs serious psychiatric help, or they're yanking our chain.  Either way, it still cracks me up.  Maybe the poster who supports the Bushies is the person who needs a break on their 700K loan to buy his 2.8 million dollar home. (They did say they had 75% down).  Or maybe it’s the person who didn’t like the "earmarks" because they did not help him or his rich corporate friends.  Maybe if your Senator or Congressman came up with 200 million dollars to sewer the Keys you would be OK with that.  Those so called "earmarks" are the way your elected officials try to bring some of your tax money home.  I don't like it either, but for now that’s how the system works, and unless you can come up with a better way, maybe you should leave that one alone (but I know you won't).  On the other hand, lobbyist's and other special interests are the real thieves of our tax money, but no one seems to mind that. Don't piss off the big corporations; they might take their operations overseas.  Damn, I wonder if there is a lobby for people that make less than 100K a year. Yeah, I didn't think so.



New
satellite TV system for pets.

If you really want to know how good a lot of motorcycle riders are, ask an emergency room doctor or nurse.

Ahmadinejad says oil at $115 a barrel is too low and calls for higher prices. He's correct. For what the oil companies get out of a barrel of oil it has been a rip-off for years.  The chemicals in a barrel yield an average of $1900 per refinement (1978 prices) and they go up depending on which type crude is used. Some crudes are so rare and have such rare contents that a barrel of the most rare oil yields many thousands of dollars in profit.  I wish I had the papers on this that I got from an old friend who worked a ARCO.  The oil industry would cringe if these facts were exposed.

Just when you think maybe you know the most messed up family on the planet along comes this one. Wedding number four for woman, 24, who's mother ran off with her husband

My "Tinker Toy" trailer is over 1600 sf.  The floor joists and framing are 2x8's on 16" centers.  The floor is 3/4" plywood covered by 1/2" cement board covered by 1/4" tile.  The A-frame roof is shingled.  The “house” is firmly secured to a cinder block foundation.  My deed is the same as yours. The ceilings are all dry-walled.  What I have just described to you probably exceeds at least 30% of the houses in Key West.  Would I rather be in a CBS house--yes, but I would stay here before I would in most of the frame houses I have seen here.  This “house” has been here on the same location for 26 years.  The only damage I know of is a new roof was installed after Georges, and by then the roof was already 16 yrs old and should have been re-shingled anyway.

[Tourism needed] Tourism is an easy way out of real work, and we are too stupid and lazy to manufacture anything.



It finally happened.

[Bush: biggest spender in history] Or we could take the very smart way and cut down on government spending.  It always amazes my how you Bush haters can never figure out that side of the "balance the budget" equation.  You figure that the only way is to keep spending like drunken sailors, and increase my income taxes to mythically expect the budget to balance.




EMF Safety Garments, Bedding, & Grounding Devices

[Elitist on instant houses] Why do you have to stick that garbage in $1,000,000 neighborhoods and ruin the values of our homes? There's nothing like waking up to bouncing basket balls, muffler-less pick-up trucks, and debris. This is why gated communities have their rules, to maintain dignity and value. Do they make a 10,000 square foot model for my lot on Shark Key?

DeeVon Quirolo, founder of Reef Relief, had a recent article in Key West Citizen about waste water treatment and disposal, in the southeast Florida area mostly. Pretty disturbing article mostly, which prompted me to write to her about the reuse of Keys treated waste water for both irrigation and drinking, because I am convinced safe and adequate drinking water soon will be the #1 concern of all Keys people, and perhaps of all people in southeast Florida.
 
I told DeeVon that maybe three years ago I was told by John Jones, Assistant Key West City Manager, that KW’s treated wastewater, which was being pumped into the ground, had less bacterial count, but more particulate count, than water being piped into the Keys from the mainland. And that I’d recently read in the Citizen about a California city using its treated waste water for drinking. I seconded her deep concerns about water pollution of the Everglades, Bay of Florida and East Coast Florida ocean water. And said I feel all new construction in the Keys should be required to install cistern systems that cover all fresh water needs, like used to happen in the old days in the Keys, and that we build a few desalination plants scattered through the Keys.
 
DeeVon replied that diesel plants use a great deal of fuel, and Orange County, California is using treated wastewater for drinking and she isn’t entirely convinced it is safe. She said KW’s treated wastewater is not safe to drink. I get water advice from someone else who is very active in southeast Florida water issues, and he said he has very high regard for DeeVon, who has been very active in this area for a long time. Just below are more recent email exchanges with her about drinking water. Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Sunday April 20, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Saturday April 19, 2008




Passover begins at sundown today.
And this day shall become a memorial for you, and you shall observe it as a festival for the L-RD, for your generations, as an eternal decree shall you observe it. For seven days you shall eat unleavened bread, but on the first day you shall remove the leaven from your homes ... you shall guard the unleavened bread, because on this very day I will take you out of the land of Egypt; you shall observe this day for your generations as an eternal decree. - Exodus 12:14-17

[Season is over] W/D was dead yesterday when I was shopping there.



[Grandma’s Card] I too received an opened birthday card last week, but didn’t complain. I received another card today that was also opened. Both cards were sent from Key West to Big Pine. There’s a thief at one of the post offices between there and here. I'd complain to the Post office, but I am one of those people who don't trust government anyway and fear retaliation.

The elitist knocking the “instant house” prefab home is insensitive to the reality that it’s the only way some of us can own a home. Jerk!

I remember that Energy policy meeting held by the Bush administration. Although the participants’ names were kept secret, some of the panel’s names leaked and they were all oilmen. That’s right, oilmen making America’s energy policy. Some day Bush will be gone, but not forgotten.
Venture Out is a corporation not an incorporated city and they do have to abide by the sewer ordinance.

Wake up time for those whining about not being able to drill in Anwar and offshore Florida to get cheaper gas. Forget it. The price will still be the same. Markets establish prices, not national origin. And  when was the last time you found an oilman who isn’t greedy?

By curious design, I lunched yesterday with my recent Democrat now Republican opponent for the county commission seat now held by Sonny McCoy. The second such unexpected meeting with Carlos Rojos in as many days--all coincidental, of course.
 
During our first visit Carlos said he would never lie to me and would always tell me the truth. He said he has read most of what I publish to my website, and we are a lot more alike than I know. He said I was bull-shitting him about having heard that Key West Mayor Morgan McPherson will be put up by Monroe County Commissioner Mario DiGennaro and the Republicans if Sonny doesn’t run again. He said he didn’t care what Mario thinks. He said he does whatever it takes to win. And when he asked me about the angel  Melchizedek and I referred him to the New Testament Letter to the Hebrews, he said he wanted to spend time with his family, who were sitting at the table with him. Yesterday, I heard some of the same, and some new:
 
*Carlos said he isn’t a Democrat or Republican, but is only a Gator and an architect. That is, he studied architecture at and graduated from the University of Florida.
*Carlos said he got no help from the Democrats, but as soon as he switched to the Republican ticket he got lots of calls from Republicans welcoming him to their party and offering to help him get petitions signed for the county commission race.
*Carlos said he does whatever he thinks it will take to win.
*Carlos said he told Sonny that, since they are both Gators and architects, Sonny ought to step down and hand over the baton to Carlos, who is half his age while Carlos said, “Sonny’s temperature rose significantly.”
*Carlos said he isn’t worried about Morgan McPherson.
*Carlos has designed a new home for Jim Hendrick and is talking with a top employee of mega developer Pritam Singh about designing a major addition to his home.
*Carlos was introduced by Jim to an important Key West person who has it in for Sonny because of being done in by Sonny once upon a time. Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel





[Ted Nugent, bow hunter] Bow hunters need to fall on an arrow to see how long they have to suffer until the end. That is the worst way to hunt anything.  Shoot it or don't go hunting! 

[Yes, a Tit is a recognized family of bird.]  I've always taken that as clear evidence that bird-watching was invented by the Brits.




Can anyone tell me what the hell is wrong with Monroe County engineers or the DOT engineers? Holding up traffic and repaving US1 on the east end of the island when it did not need it.  Meanwhile the west end of US1 of BPK is all gone to hell and they don't touch it? Will someone in the local gov’t wake up!

[American Cetacean Society] Oh please, here we go again. Lets all go hug a whale and get rid of the Navy because, heck, we all ready have our prayer rugs ready for the take over. This is a little blurb form the ACS web page.

"Sound / sonar -- while there are many manmade sounds being generated in the oceans, we are most urgently concerned with the loudest: Military sonars and industrial exploration (for oil and gas, ocean mapping, etc.). These are among the most intense sounds produced by man, and they're being used in an environment that is particularly vulnerable."

So who needs a Navy anyway? Lets just let all the other countries update and improve their sonar and we will just quit using ours so we don't mess up the GPS on the nearest whale.

Look to the animal rights groups when you want to build a house on Big Pine Key and have to pay 96,000 mitigation fee.  Look around you folks, I have been here for 40 years and the Key Deer are out numbering the humans.  Yet, we give and give and give and all they want is more.  We have to take this country back from the animal rights movement and the environmentalist that want to pound us back to the stone age.  Why do we not have the oil flowing from Anwar to ease the burden of foreign oil being bought and raising the price.  Where are the nuclear power plants giving us clean safe energy and saving billions of gallons of oil and gas?  Heck we can't even take advantage of wind farms because it might kill a bird.  Wake up--humans first!

Does anyone know the story behind the missile that hit the Eden Pines Colony sign?  It was one of the best entrance signs in the Keys and well cared for by some hard working folks.  It looks like a smallish car or light truck hit the rock edging around the sign and went airborne thru the sign leaving only one post and narrowly missing the coconut tree and then kept on barreling down the road a hundred feet or so ending in the bushes and cutting off several small bushes and trees at the base. From what I could see there were no brake attempts or evidence thereof. Whew, what a ride and I hope the person or persons were not hurt, but it just looks like someone got sick or had some kind of attack to punch the gas that hard for so long.  I pray all involved are in good condition. I hope they pay to replace the sign cause it was huge and worth a mint.  That sign really Ritzed-up good old Eden Pines and I shall miss it.

If all the Bushies left this site, can you imagine the stupidity of the posts we would be left with? Many liberals can’t believe the world is really round

[Snowbird Toll] I think it’s a great idea to sit a toll booth up at North end of 18 mile stretch and charge them.  There was a toll booth as you entered BPK long ago.  And no I am not from NJ or any other shithole up north. I have been here since Oct 1948, and no I would not be going hungry or running naked as you put it, in the woods. Speak for your self.  I have seen the keys get turned into a shithole like NY, NJ, Conn, and Mass and other places north over the years.  They want to come here because its so unique, so quaint, so different, the chickens are so cute, etc. But the first thing they do after they come here and buy their million dollar condo is try to make the Keys just like “back home”.  Well if it was so great, then carry your ass back.  Most of the snowbirds in RVs are giving nothing to the keys except screwing over the real locals. They park on the side of the road for days and cops do nothing. I see bunches of RVs in Searstown parking lot on a lot of winter days. They buy no gas down here, no food, they dump their sewage tanks down storm drains, and again cops do nothing. They go into our stores and treat local workers like shit, like we owe them something or like some lowlife and they don’t tip. They want, they want, etc. They come down in their $100,000 plus RVs and park in someone’s yard and mooch off us and then head north and leave their trash behind.  So don't expect me to feel sorry for them, or respect them, and yes I would vote for a toll on non locals and if they didn't come I would survive just like my ancestors did by luring ships ashore and go back in the wrecker business.  I remember Captain Dan once told me a $200,000 RV parks outside his place, comes in to eat and when they leave they stole his silverware and salt and pepper shakers. Go figure.

Just a note to clear up some definitions that every reader might not be familiar with.  Everyone knows what a tourist is, however a touron is a tourist-moron while a euron is a European tourist-moron.  The moniker is usually given to the visitor who fails to properly tip for services rendered.  


The contributor blathering about the "instant house" knows not of what they speak.  You do not “stoop” to buy a modular home.  They can be rated to 170 mph. Very few stick built homes are rated past 155 mph.  Some of the higher end models are unrecognizable as modular's when finished.  While I don't own one I would not hesitate to replace my current home with one if mine was ever flattened by a storm.

If you talk about race, it does not make you a racist. If you see distinctions between the genders, it does not make you a sexist. If you think critically about a denomination, it does not make you anti-religion. If you accept but don't celebrate homosexuality, it does not make you a homophobe.  ~Charlton Heston





“He’ll be riding two white horses, when he comes, when he comes…” lorenzo-the-flying-french-man
[Turd inspector] I don't know who this guy is but he appears to be right on the mark. The pancake thing is obnoxious; fortunately it's over for the season. As to the remark that no one pays attention to the Wakey, wakey  complaints: why don't you "venture out" beyond your gates and see what the neighbors on the other side of the fence think of the pancake announcements--to a one they hate it. As for VO's sewer treatment, you should have had the misfortune to drive by it early this week; it stank up the whole island.


The snowbirds are finally headed back North. We will all miss them--not!

Why did they repave the new deer overpass? The road was in excellent shape. I suspect there is corruption involved.



Ice makes for some tough braking. Video

[Assuming people are investment savvy]  Very true, but I'd much prefer supporting private investment industries to assist those people than the existing government bureaucracy.  Government never does it better. 




Bill Maher said if the Pope was a CEO of a multinational corporation and thousands of his employees were convicted of child molestation he’d be in jail.

[Snow Bird Toll] It is fools like you who believe what you want to believe in your dream world. The money flow from tourism is what we need to self-sustain.



Has everyone heard of the newest Captain of the keys? Welcome Captain Randy. He's going to be great for the Big Pine area.

Ted Nugent for president!

The Lion Optical Illusion got me good and I sure needed the laughter.  Long live bpk.com!

For sale. John Deere tractor. Runs good. Missing steering wheel and seat. Ideal for the person who has lost his a** and doesn’t know which way to turn.

I have to say, I do like the Friday Funnies comedy pieces, but the funniest posts on this blog have to be the desperate attempts by the right-wingers to convince the rest of us how they're so right and we're so uninformed.  I see they're still reverting to their old tactics of lying, cheating, and if they can, stealing the elections (watch your ballot in Nov).  The latest example is that all the ills in the Soc. Sec. system are the fault of the democrats. These people will believe anything they read if it suits their agenda.  Where was the conservative poster who always demands some proof or link to back up a post?  Whoops, I guess he/she missed that one (see previous sentence). The Congress only has a small majority of Dems so they don't really control it, yet. Everything substantial they try to accomplish is fought tooth and nail by he right wing with questionable tactics, many that call for a super majority to pass. It’s time to call a spade a spade. Remember in November the last eight years and vote with your brain, your conscience, and your heart.  I believe it was Lincoln that said "Don't believe anything you hear, and only half of what you see".

For anyone who likes good Thai food the Thai Island at Garrison Bight has the best.  The lady who has opened it has been cooking down here for years and we have followed her from Siam House to CoCos on Cudjoe for their Thai nights then lastly to Green Street.  She has finally opened her own restaurant and we have been there a couple of times already and hope that she can do well on her own. 

I have Alzheimer's and love it. No responsibilities, no bills, nothing to worry about and I wake up with a new broad every morning!  I just hope my spelling checker never goes bad.



[Local chapter of the American Cetacean Society] …is a whale of an idea!

RV tourists are the cheapest kinds of tourists. There is nothing good about them.

[Cider vinegar is very good for you] It's like booze, you have to pay a tad more for the good stuff.

[Tourons and snowbirds] You do realize that you don't actually have to be in the Keys to post on this site don't you?

I wonder how McCain is going to make up for the lost revenue due to his proposed gas tax give away.  Oh, that's right; just slide that big old number across the books over to the good old National Debt column where it will hardly matter.

Most large companies prohibit the use of the internet.  Termination isn't a first step unless it's demanded by the employer and depending on the system they are in (unions).  If I am paying you to work, not Internet surf, I would also be disturbed if my employee's sat shopping all day long.  I would be very upset if I were the employee sitting next to another who didn't work while I did. So in the best interest of everyone, get a blackberry and your troubles will be over.  For about $50 dollars a month, on your break or lunch, you can go into any damn web site you want.

[25% down payment] It's about time some intelligent life spoke about this.  Back in the 70s your house payment could not exceed 1 week’s pay or they wouldn't give you the mortgage.  But today they give too much money out.  I know of a case where the man came to me for a loan and when I asked him why he didn't go to the bank, he said he had and they won't give him the money.  My answer then was, "how the heck are you going to have the money to pay me back if you can't pay the bank?"  Needless to say, I lent him nothing. I see young people buying homes, including my children, that are way over their budget.  In the day (guess you have realized by now I'm old) we started with an apartment then a small house and worked our way up.  Not today. They start at the top and end in foreclosure--then the apartment comes in. I like the old way.  Sitting without a mortgage allows us to live a nice life.  It was a bumpy road, but now, among all the foreclosures, it's a smooth as Knob Creek bourbon.

To the person that thinks anyone who buys a house on wheels doesn’t deserve a little slice of paradise because they don't have as much money as you. Why don't you just give them some of that big pile of cash you’ve been setting on and make things right? I hope they put a house with wheels on both sides and across the street from that big house you’ve been renting. “Keep those big wheels rolling…”

Hello from the Mile Marker 24 Band. We are on our way to Panama City for the 3rd annual Parrot Head Rendezvous. We headed the bus north this morning after standing on my dock to do my ceremonial goodbye to the ocean for a couple of days. I always hold my arms out, close my eyes and have a moment with my old friend.

The good news is we are heading for a party and we would love you to join us. Day passes are still available for $15 (Saturday) or $10 (Sunday) and it all proceeds benefit Anchorage Children’s Home.. This all takes place at Beachbreak by the Sea and runs Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We perform Saturday night, April 19th with the full band at 8:00 PM . Sunday morning is a special breakfast show at 10:00 AM by the pool with Dave and myself.

As we were heading out of the Keys, Ed Rodriguez who is the radio personality on 104.1 US1 Radio, the number one station in the Florida Keys, was behind our tour bus for a bit on his way to his show and chats about us when he gets on air. Then as we’re leaving the Keys we get a call from Jim who owns Key West Key Lime Pie Company and he is behind us and says pull over. We do and he runs over with a case of Key Lime Pie Bars and hands them to us. If you have never had one of these frozen treats, they are wonderful. Jim was on his way to Orlando for a pie competition. I am sure he will win.

So then we were driving down the road at 9:00 am everyone eating a Key Lime Pie Bar, and I realize why I love doing this so much. If you happen to see us driving down the road, give us a honk and make our day. This is so much fun. It’s like being a teenager again and going on a road trip with your best friends. It gets better, imagine the parents give you the car to drive, no; they give you a bus to drive. Wow, what could be better!

We will arrive in Panama City in a couple of hours and have already talked about making a batch of our newest drink concoction, Pain Killers. There is an art to this mixture and we are dedicated to getting it right. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it. We will give you a report on our progress.

Ever wonder how many trees would be saved to produce breathable air if everyone used only Email and forgot about sending letters, cards, advertising, and all other useless means of paper communication?  I would bet lots of airborne pollution would be removed too. But of course it takes brains to use a computer.

"My Beautiful Mommy" is aimed at kids ages four to seven and features a plastic surgeon named Dr. Michael (a musclebound superhero type) and a girl whose mother gets a tummy tuck, a nose job and breast implants. Before her surgery the mom explains that she is getting a smaller tummy: "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better." Mom comes home looking like a slightly bruised Barbie doll with demure bandages on her nose and around her waist.

The text doesn't mention the breast augmentation, but the illustrations intentionally show Mom's breasts to be fuller and higher. "I tried to skirt that issue in the text itself," says Salzhauer. "The tummy lends itself to an easy explanation to the children: extra skin and can't fit into your clothes. The breasts might be a stretch for a six-year-old." http://www.newsweek.com/id/132240/page/1  I think we're doomed.



Wildlife is funny.
Video

What happened to our Eden Pine Estate sign at the corner, turning from Key Deer to Watson? Someone destroyed it.  What a shame! 

Bright nebulae abound in and around the expansive southern constellation of Centaurus. This one, cataloged as IC 2948 is near the star Lambda Centauri and not far on the sky from the better known Eta Carinae Nebula. Embedded in the reddish glowing cloud of hydrogen gas, typical of emission nebulae found in massive star-forming regions, is the energetic young star cluster IC 2944. Seen in silhouette near the top of the view are small, dark clouds of obscuring cosmic dust. Called Thackeray's Globules for their discoverer, they are potential sites for the formation of new stars, but are likely being eroded by the intense radiation from the nearby young stars. Of course, gazing at the center of the region suggests to some IC 2948's popular name - The Running Chicken Nebula. The gorgeous skyscape spans about 70 light-years at the nebula's estimated 6,000 light-year distance.

Who cares if Randy Acevedo is a hero to the Youth Challenge folks?  It's for the most part a bunch of crap that makes the adults feel good at the expense of the kids who participate.


That photo wasn’t of the sub pens on Boca Chica. Here’s another shot of it for you to guess.

As far as I am concerned, George Neugent can have as many lovers as he wants since he is for the people of Monroe County unlike some of the others that constantly run our money into the ground.   How can Govwatch even post such a piece of crap saying that Mario ruled during that meeting.  Mario is nothing but a worthless piece of you-know-what; and, unfortunately, since I know the family as clients I cannot go any further. ~k4d@bellsouth.net

For sale: 13-year-old virgin - Telegraph

How come every time there’s something brought up at the County commission meeting about people in Big Pine Key and No Name Key George Neugent is conveniently off somewhere. (This time he was going to Tallahassee) He wasn’t even at the HCP (habitat conservation plan) meeting last month.  ~Govwatch05@tampabay.rr.com

The deadline for publishing is 6am.
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.

Saturday April 19, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Friday April 18, 2008

[Banking 101] There are main street banks like Bank of America, Wachovia, First State Bank and all those institutions that you and I use for our normal spending and saving efforts. These banks participate in a Federal Deposit Insurance scheme that works like this: In return for government oversight of their lending and deposit levels the full faith and credit of the US Government guarantees up to $100,000 in each account. This plan was enacted after US citizens starved on the streets of this great nation after the banking system collapsed in the 1930s.

There are other banks, so called commercial or merchant banks that exist to serve people and corporations with much larger financial needs (you usually need at least $5 million to open an account). In order to operate more "efficiently" these banks decline to take the FDIC offer and their accounts are not backed by the full faith and credit of the US Government. Bear Sterns was/is one such bank. Bear Sterns was at the forefront of the ARM (adjustable rate mortgage) scam. They took these mortgages, packaged them as US real estate loans and hawked them around the world (and around the US) as triple A rated (top quality) US financial instruments. When the scheme imploded Bear Sterns faced bankruptcy, putting all those high fliers' cash at risk. What happened?

The US Federal Reserve stepped in and gave a main street bank the money to buy Bear Sterns. The fat cats who preferred to bank outside the "burdensome" FDIC oversight got to enjoy those same taxpayer protections without meeting the requirements of the Feds to protect depositors.

Yes, there it is--our tax dollars going to save the financial asses of the rich! Understand this: the Federal Reserve usually has about 800 billion dollars on hand in cash. Its now down to 400 billion and dropping fast. No one knows what happens when more banks need help and the Federal Reserve has none to give. Blather all you want about Republicans and Democrats, but the financial mess we are in, supervised by the Republican Bush Administration, is mathematical not political. The poverty that will follow will cut across party lines like a knife. I am scared stiff of what is yet to come.

While sitting at an intersection on Cudjoe Key watching a flatbed trailer with one half of an "instant house" being guided down the street, I realized how sad it is that a human being has to stoop that low to purchase a wheel-less trailer to live in.  It is no wonder those tinker-toy owner's have to leave the Keys when dark clouds and a heavy breeze come along. 
What Political party had the largest Federal Government in history? It wasn’t the Democrats. In fact, ask the republicans who also haven’t met a spending bill they didn’t like in the last 2 administrations. As unbelievable as it sounds, Bush has never vetoed a spending bill. Fiscal conservative Republicans--in your dreams!
[Holding democrats in Congress responsible for increased in fuel costs] A few years back, the Republican President’s office was asked who was at the energy meetings concerning America’s future. Americans were told that we don’t need that information and never released the names of who was at the meeting and what was discussed. I guess the poster slept thru that year. Why isn’t the poster asking how come the Republicans didn’t do something before, when they had the majority in the Senate, the Congress and the Presidency? The sign of a great President is when he doesn’t point to the other guys and says "Ask them". He would stand before us and say "I will do something now".  That hasn’t happened, and to be honest. It’s going to be more of the same for the next year. We are all counting down the days until these whackos are gone.

[Snow Bird Toll] Fool. If it wasn’t for the snowbirds paying your way with their high taxes, spending for necessities, hiring of local help and low demand for government services (no kids in school, no lawbreaking demanding law enforcement, not much driving, etc.) you, a “proud Big Piner” would be living naked in the woods in a refrigerator box with the other “locals.” Probably, too, you’re one of those “locals” who have been here five years from New Jersey where you got run out for being a butthole and are now a real “super-local,” compared to some "idiot snowbird" who has only been here, getting along with the real locals and paying high taxes for 25 years or so. Sickening.

[Social Security] I wonder if the anti-SS man gives back his check because he it is a socialistic program of entitlement. I keep mine and thank Washington every month. The writer seems to think that all Americans are very smart and have always made wise investments to carry them through their old age. Wake up old man, that’s not the way the real world is. To have a truly great nation we need Social Security and Social Health Care. Two reasonable entitlements for all Americans except you.

The Social Security comment yesterday was just some typical. BS by some one trying to stir the pot. I don't even know why I bother, but check out: http://www.snopes.com/politics/taxes/sschanges.asp

Yesterday morning, a Key West amigo told me that he nearly got out his dagger and stabbed himself in the throat during the 2 hour Obama-Clinton debate the night before. Instead, he turned off his television. I suggested that maybe he should have found a nice rock and thrown it at his television instead. Might have made him feel better.

Last night (Thursday) at the White Street Walk, which comes around once a month, I heard a lot of talk about the national races. I heard no one speak well of any candidate, except Ron Paul, whom I did not know was still a candidate. I said, of the three, Obama, Clinton and McCain, I felt Hillary Clinton was the most benign, even though I could not vote for her. And that John McCain is still trying win to the Vietnam war, and will continue to try to win it. When a couple of people said they would write Ron Paul’s name onto their ballot, I said that’s what I would probably do, too.
 
In my sleep this morning, a woman I did not recognize asked me if I knew any of the devils? I said I knew Lucifer, and let’s start there, with the top devil. Then, she said surely there is a good top Democratic candidate. I replied not Obama, and was about to say why when I woke up. Today'sFloridaKeysDrivel








Lion Optical Illusion.
Picture
An employer restricting employees from using company owned computers to surf the internet is not a violation of free speech or free press.  Whoever wrote that drivel yesterday has no clue about the Constitution or Bill of Rights.  Also, it is not uncommon for employers to point out specific sites as examples of the policy.  My employer specifically named MySpace and YouTube as examples in their policy.  I agree that local sites may not have been the best examples to use.  But most companies with similar policies do use one or two web-sites as examples.
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter was being interviewed by a French journalist and the discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, "What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, "Are you my friend?" or is it, "Are you the one who killed my brother?'" Nugent replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away.' They are very much like the French."
Best Out of Office Automatic e-mail replies:
~I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
~I will be unable to delete all the e-mails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
~The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over.)
~Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
~I've run away to join a different circus.
~I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.
Kids Fishing Clinic on May 3rd 9-1pm at the Britton Environmental Center (Boy Scout Sea Base) on Summerland Key. It’s free and no reservations are necessary. Open to kids 5 to 15. Lunch, drinks, and a free rod and reel for all participants who complete the skill stations.  This is a Florida Fish and Wildlife program which they produce and offer to the kids in the area. Reef Light Tackle  are sponsors along with the Boy Scouts who provide the facility.  The more kids that know about this fun event the better! Bulletin Board
Dennis Ward, (D) is running for State Attorney. Mr Ward is running for Mark Kohl's seat (R). What has Mark Kohl done for the County of Monroe?  Has he convicted Mario DiGennaro or Sonny McCoy of breaking the sunshine laws, when they both confessed on Bill Becker's show?  Has Mark Kohl done any convictions when it comes to the bubba boys in Key West?  Has Mark Kohl gotten to the bottom of why Sheriff Maudlin left the department, or has any investigations been done to see if there were any sexual harassment charges that could be laid at Maudlin's feet?  Why was there such a long period of silence before anything came out in the newspapers about the sexual harassment claims when Jim Scholl knew about it weeks before it was made public?  Were these charges trumped up to rid Key West of Sheriff Mauldin because he would not play the games that the bubbas wanted? State Attorney Mark Kohl needs to be unseated.






I saw a pair of Great Tits yesterday bouncing along. Note: Yes, a Tit is a recognized family of bird. The tits, chickadees, and titmice comprise Paridae, a large family of small passerine birds which occur in the northern hemisphere and Africa.

[Venture Out not having to hook up to sewer system] I think they are incorporated and that leaves them out of the picture. Hummm! Then let's incorporate all of the Lower Key and puck the State!






I’m dating the pope, but I'm only using him to get to god.

Here, I looked it up for you!
What is Liberalism:  Liberalism.html
What is a Republican: Republican_Party.html
What is a Democrat: Democrat.html
What is a sheep: Sheep.html
What is a Survivalist: Survivalist.html



If you can't afford to put down 25% for a house, you probably shouldn't be buying that house.  Many of us can afford a $4000 a month mortgage, but what a stupid way to piss away money.
[The Pope] I am so happy that my wife was not at the white house yesterday.  If she was, she would have found some way to piss him off.
Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did. So this was it: The "Law of the Garbage Truck." I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, "I'm not going to do it anymore."

I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie "The Sixth Sense," the little boy said, "I see Dead People." Well, now "I see Garbage Trucks." I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.



[Cider vinegar is very good for you] I bought a store brand cider vinegar and it was awful. I thought vinegar was vinegar. I guess not.

[Caught going on to 3 popular sites while at work they would be fired]  I read the same post on Coconut and did not see any words saying "they would be fired". As badly written as it was, all it did was re-state county policy.

[Social Security] If I had invested all the money that I have paid into SS over the years I’d be broke now with no retirement cushion. Social Security is the best program this country offers. The thought of all Americans investing our SS money is just plain stupid because you’re assuming people are investment savvy, which we’re not.

Carlos O. Rojas changed parties to run as a Republican. Rojas is running for Sonny McCoy's seat on the Commission in District 3. Citizens, do we need to support him?  Do we want to return to good government here in Monroe County? Do we want Sonny McCoy, one member of "The Gang of Three" for another four years?

BPK Funny Fridays: for those who don't stay up too late because you spent your day boozing, or boinking, or, God forbid, working; here's some late-night funnies.

 "The pope is in the United States. Flew in to Washington, DC. Hillary Clinton declined to meet pope at the airport. You know, she was worried about sniper fire." --David Letterman

"It was a huge, huge, big deal. Although I don't think President Bush is too familiar with the Catholic religion. There was one awkward moment when President Bush kept looking behind the pope going, 'So, where's Mrs. Pope?'" --Jay Leno

"President Bush also told the pope that he has prayed every single day since he became president. Hey, since Bush became president, we've all prayed every single day." --Jay Leno

"And coincidentally, today is the pope's 81st birthday. Isn't that remarkable? 81st birthday, yeah. President Bush greeted the pope, and he knew it was his birthday, so he gave him a gift card to Big and Tall Hats." --David Letterman

"The president picked up the pope at the airport. How bored is our president? He's not the president anymore. Now he's like your college stoner roommate, doing favors for pizza. Next week I think he's helping Putin move." --Jon Stewart

"So what is the drink of choice for this hard scrabble Archie Bunker-type? [on screen: Clinton requesting Crown Royal whiskey]. Yes. Nothing says blue collar like whiskey in a velvet pouch. You know it's the only alcohol with both crown and royal in the name. Got a word to fanciness ratio of 1-to-1. Bar keep, your gayest whiskey, please. I've had a heck of a day in the mines. By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams." --Jon Stewart

"Hillary Clinton attacked Barack Obama, called him 'elitist,' and said he was out of touch with poor people. Later, Bill Clinton gave a speech on the subject, and charged a million bucks for it." --Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton was shown at a bar in Indiana drinking a beer, and doing a shot of whiskey. Hey, and it worked. Today, Ted Kennedy switched back. 'I'm for Hillary now!'" --Jay Leno

"You know, I hear what you're all saying, but doesn't elite mean good? Is that not something we're looking for in a president anymore? You know what, candidates? Come with me. I know elite is a bad word in politics. You want to go bowling and throw back a few beers. But the job you're applying for, if you get it and it goes well, they might carve your head into a mountain. If you don't actually think you're better than us, then what the f*ck are you doing?" --Jon Stewart

"Elton John helped Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign by holding a fundraiser Wednesday night that gathered an impressive 2.5 million dollars, or as Elton John, calls it, hat money." --Amy Poehler

"Between gasoline prices and the mortgage foreclosures, people are hurting. And you know who finally noticed this? John McCain. He changed his position on people losing their homes, from his original, 'Drop Dead,' to a new policy called 'Go F*ck Yourself Plus.'" --Bill Maher

"You know they had hearings this week, about Iraq, ... with General Petraeus, and John McCain had another senior moment, where he couldn't remember who the Sunnis are, the Shiites. I'm beginning to worry about this guy. They asked him afterwards if this would affect his presidential campaign, and he said, 'I'm running for President?'" --Bill Maher

"A new report from the Associated Press, says that the senior Bush administration officials met regularly in the White House to discuss and approve specific torture techniques. All the heavy hitters were there. Condoleezza Rice and Colin Powell, and Ashcroft and Tenet. Everybody except Bush himself... they left him with a sitter." --Bill Maher

"Here's something interesting I learned. Did you know, John McCain does not use the Secret Service protection? ... Yeah, yeah. He hasn't been using them. He has his own team. In fact, you know what you call those six guys that surround John McCain all the time? Pallbearers." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama had said small town Americas cling to things like their guns because they're bitter. That is ridiculous. You don't cling to your gun because you're bitter. You shoot your gun because you're bitter. Then you cling to it because it's so nice and warm." --Stephen Colbert

Good morning Lower Keys!  Is anybody in hearing distance interested in establishing a local chapter of the American Cetacean Society?  Does anybody besides me already belong to the ACS?  Let me hear from you.  ~jlaney@eastwindbay.com
[Safety course] I've held a motorcycle endorsement on my license for over 30 years and owned 7 different bikes, each one more powerful than the last. I could not agree more with the need for the motorcycle safety course.

High School students Noah and Leah Sutter of Tavernier, who are home-educated, recently attended TeenPact in Tallahassee and met Florida State Representative Ron Saunders. TeenPact is a hands-on leadership program designed to teach students from around the state about government. The program is run by youth leaders and follows the process of how an idea becomes law. Students are required to write, analyze, and follow bills throughout the process. The intensive four-day program includes special speakers, meetings with lobbyists, and visits to legislative chambers to see government in action. The budget hearings last week provided students with real-time debate and life lessons. "I see now how important it is to be involved in the process,” said Junior Noah Sutter, “and how easy it is to contact your representatives."  His sister Leah, who is a freshman, said, “I realized that even young people can influence government. TeenPact taught me how to make a difference." Students also made appointments to meet with their legislative representatives. The Sutter brother and sister duo met with their State Representative Ron Saunders.

Habitat for Humanity has opened a great used clothing store on Big Pine called the Coconut Closet. In celebration of the grand opening, this weekend, everything is buy-one-get-one-free (just like Winn Dixie).  Come check it out. It's open Friday and Saturday from 9 to 2.  Support this great organization and get great deals on updating your wardrobe. It's located north of the Flea Market on US 1, Big Pine Key, upstairs from their Re-Store which also has great building supplies and furniture.

[Banks were victims of rotten Fed rules] Ha! How stupidly gullible some people are. The freaking banks run all governments world wide!

Monroe County School District Superintendent Randy Acevedo was requested to present to the Academy of Administrators while Monroe Youth Challenge Program leaders were selected to present to general conferees at the 19th Annual National Service-Learning Conference held April 10-12 in Minneapolis, Minn. All presentations centered on the successes of service learning in Monroe County. Service learning is a teaching strategy that combines academics with community service.

Acevedo was requested as a guest speaker because of Monroe County’s track record in reducing the achievement gap, lowering the drop-out rate and improving its school district grade -- maintaining an A for the second year in a row which had never been done before. Acevedo’s presentation was how service learning benefits students and draws in community partners. His task was to share how administrators can overcome the challenges associated with service learning as an academic strategy which may include fiscal restrictions, state mandates and student outcomes.  In addition to speaking to the Administrators Academy, Acevedo who has been acknowledged for partnering with MYCP, was selected to lead a team in a break-out session.  His team included MCSD Service Learning Coordinator Sunny Booker, MYCP District Prevention Coordinator Michele Sutter, and Marathon High School Senior Katie Greenman who also serves as a member of the national State Farm Youth Advisory Board.  Funds to attend the conference were provided by MYCP, State Farm, and Learn and Serve Florida. 

Monroe Youth Challenge Program is a project of the Monroe County Education Foundation to foster acceptance, respect, and success in the youth of Monroe County. To learn how to apply for a Florida Learn and Serve grant call MYCP Director Sunny Booker at (305) 293-1400 ext. 53319 or visit www.monroe.k12.fl.us/mycp.



Spain's new
Defense Minister Is pregnant.
The turd inspector is back, and has he got problems!  No one paid any attention to his missiles of hate on the Sat. morning pancake breakfasts at Venture Out, so now he has switched his gripes to turd control (whatever gets his motor running). He is a real winner. We were all worried for awhile because we hadn't heard from him, but it looks like he is back to his old self again.

[Buffalo Beer Theory] Can we add this to the Constitution and the 10 Big Dude's orders?  I guess if we did, 90% of the planet would be gone!
Judging from the number of posters recently one can conclude that a large number of visitors to this site are tourons and snowbirds.  It's too bad they didn't take the few remaining Bushies with them when they migrated north for the summer.

The deadline for publishing is 6am
Include Coconut Telegraph in the subject line of your email or our spam filters will
delete it and we can't publish it.
More...

Friday April 18, 2008

F5 on your keyboard to refresh the animations.

Thursday April 17, 2008

dave schuller






Congratulations to Dave Schuller, Venture Out who, after 44 years, surprisingly received a letter from the Dept. of the US Navy commending him for his service aboard the USS Shangri-la aircraft carrier during the Cuban missile crises in the early 60s.  Enclosed with the letter was a medal for Good Conduct.  Dave has long discarded his old navy uniform so we pinned it on his tee shirt and he wears it proudly.  Your friends and neighbors all salute Seaman 1st Class David Schuller for protecting our country and The Keys.
Photo Gallery

I am quite surprised this letter has not been written by someone sooner. As editor of the newspaper, I am sure you are a strong supporter of free speech and press.  Therefore, you will understand the concern when certain groups are targeted and their freedoms of both diminished.

First, the popular Big Pine Coconut Telegraph was hacked and taken down back in January. It took quite an effort to restore it to a working capacity, however some information was lost forever.  The FBI investigated, sent computer experts to examine, and claimed they could not find the intruder to the site.  Seems someone wanted very badly to destroy this popular working website from communicating.

A memo went out on April 2 in the late afternoon to all County employees.

If anyone was caught going on to 3 popular sites while at work they would be fired. Coconut Telegraph, Citizen Jane, and keylargokey.com were named.

Sloan Bashinsky's website also was blocked, I understand.

If the intent was to eliminate all web surfing while at work, why didn't the memo just state that?  Or why didn't it include other things, like looking at horoscopes?  How about checking personal e-mails, or reading online comics?  No, it just cited the websites above as reasons action would be taken against individuals, including termination of employment.

I asked a question at a meeting in the Bahama Village about the searches of the juveniles who were racially profiled, and Patricia Eables allowed a white male to scream across the room for me to leave numerous times.

Instead of taking action to silence him, she asked for me to leave and threatened to remove me. The question was posed to Donnie Lee, acting Police Chief, as to what action would be taken for racial profiling.  That question evidently was reason to remove me.

Silence is not golden in the Keys.  The actions taken by those in authority to undermine our freedom of speech and press gets little attention. Who gave the order to issue the proclamation banning certain websites and threatening County employees with termination if they did not adhere to the policy?  Who has the authority to pick our websites, and keep us silenced at meetings?

Why has no one written this letter yet...questioning the validity or posture of the County command? Rights aren't lost in one day; they are stripped in tiny pieces from the fabric of our freedom. Bit by bit, piece by piece, until we don't even recognize what is left.  Out of fear of losing our job, we comply.  Out of fear of drawing attention to ourselves, we comply.  Out of fear of punishment, we comply. We comply until we have everything left but our freedom, and then we realize, we have nothing left at all.

Next time the Tibet flag is waved, remember: Bit by bit, piece by piece, taken first from the powerless, then from the rest. ~sandy@sandyforsheriff.com

Back in the Spring of 2006 the mid-term Congressional races were roaring and we were hearing an anvil chorus of knocks on the Bush administration and on the Republican controlled Congress.  One major knock (well deserved then and now) was the Dem claim that there was no cogent U.S. policy that was designed to drive down petro prices.  The Democrat candidates promised us that they would enact legislation that would drive down energy prices.  In the Spring of 2006 national gas prices averaged $2.20 per gallon.  After nearly two years of Democrat control in Congress, gas prices have risen to a national average today of $3.40 per gallon.  Right now, today at Tom Thumb on BPK, the price is $3.65 per gallon.  That’s damned near a 70% increase in price in less than 2 years.  Have you heard or read anything about any new energy policy coming out of Congress?  I sure as hell haven’t.  The Democrats can sure name roads and post offices, they damn sure can pass earmarks out the wazoo, and they promise us that they’ll raise our taxes, but they won’t do a freaking thing about our energy crisis.  They stand 4 square against us drilling and refining our own reserves.  At least McCain is promising to try and get us a gas tax holiday during the summer tourist season.  What is it going to take to make us realize that we are in an honest-to-God emergency?

The kids in Big Pine are mostly all good and they just play video games, surf the net and jump off the bridges.  Once in awhile you see them on bicycles, but other than that, they do not go out fishing or boating.  We should be more concerned with the adult robbers and those keys diseased.  It's the coke heads who could be breaking in and spray painting.  The recession may hurt the cartel’s business.  Why don't we start neighborhood watches?  MCSO will conduct a premises walk thru and give security suggestions. When you see crime happening dial 911 or 800.346.TIPS.










The biggest stars in the world! Moulin Huge

Size does matter, maybe that’s why I love Big Government, the pain is such a thrill! I think that is the mind-set of the poster who waxed eloquent yesterday about the glories of big Government. The poster most certainly can’t be upset about the restrictions and supervision of our airlines. After all, the air lines were forced to shut down by federal regulators.  He refers to the same federal regulators whose regulations have virtually guaranteed that you will not get where you’re going anywhere near the time that you had planned.  The poster did wail about greedy lenders and claimed that a gullible public was victimized.  The poster did not tell us about the federal regulations that have, in effect, required the lenders to minimize their previous strict lending eligibility requirements.  All in the name of bootstrapping those who historically would not qualify for loans.  The poster suggests that the lending institutions profited from these loans.  If that were true, why in the name of all that is rational, are these “greedy, predatory” institutions in deep fiscal trouble?  Is it because federal regulations encouraged or actually strong-armed the banks to lend to people who are at serious risk of not being able to repay?  Why did the Feds permit or encourage the existence of ARM and no, or low, down payment loans?  At least the poster recognizes that permitting failure of some of these huge lending institutions would seriously further impact our economy.  Don’t forget for a second that these foreclosures are only a tiny part (5% +/-) of the mortgage universe. There’s no doubt that some regulation of business and industry is necessary, but I believe that the Fed regulation is the real villain in this crisis.


World's worst advertisement for plastic surgery. http://www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000195.html

Yesterday was my birthday and to celebrate I bought a cheese cake and a rotisserie chicken from the Big Pine Winn Dixie. Both were excellent. I have written here to bitch about them when they do bad, so to be fair, I am writing when they do good. P.S. It must have been my lucky day--they got the price right on both items!

[Social Security] We took a quick look yesterday at how we were sold Social Security, check it out in yesterdays postings. You probably don't remember, but at one time here in the U.S.A., we were actually responsible for ourselves. Way back then we were sold a bunch of promises because of which we bought into Social Security. Sorry folks, Social Security is no longer social, it's socialism, and worse, it's no longer secure. Its going broke, you Baby Boomers and Gen Xers are going to get royally screwed. I'm an old fart, there's going to be enough for me, but the rest of you are in deep (you fill in the blank). A try was made a couple of years ago to give it a fix (investing in the stock market), but the Democrats shot down the try. O.K., politics is a blood sport, but our Dem friends didn't even offer any alternatives. You got screwed, and you didn't even get kissed. So what happened to Social Security? There is a lot more, but for a start, check out these little items:
Q: Which Political Party ripped Social Security from an independent 'Trust Fund' and put the cash into the general fund so that Congress could spend it?
A: It was Lyndon Johnson and the democratically controlled House and Senate.
Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax deductions for Social Security (FICA) withholding?
A: The Democrat Party.
Q: Which party ensured that we would have to pay taxes on our Social Security income?
A: The Democrat Party.
Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social Security annuities?
A: The Democrat Party, with Al Gore casting the 'tie-breaking' deciding vote as President of the Senate, while he was Vice President of the US
Q: Which Political Party decided to start giving