Archives of Old Kudos and Whiners

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May 2007

Thursday May 31, 2007

For the sake of yin and yang (and to balance out the “whiners”), I hereby resolve to henceforth send our dearest editor one kudo per week. The first kudo goes to the Waste Management gentlemen: Thanks for being reliable, quiet, and neat. You make the trash disappear and leave the empty cans neatly arranged on the curb.  Kudos on doing a vital job well.

Nobody is indispensable.
A few things to be happy about.
1. The sunsets around are some of the best on the planet
2. Im not a realtor
3. Its just great to be a man. Thanks girls
4. Good Tequila
5. Bush administration is on the way out
6. I can bitch and moan here one day then thank someone here the next day. "Thanks Ed"
7. Short work week
8. Women's tan lines
9. Buffalo shrimp pasta
10. Tarpon are rolling and very impressive.

Au contraire, people do steal shopping carts, and they’re not just the homeless. Shopping cart theft adds to the cost of your groceries as the cart can cost around two hundred dollars each. Markets have tried different methods to prevent cart theft over the years, but nothing works that well. Larger stores even have people driving around the neighborhoods looking for their carts on a regular basis.

[Bluetooth] Maybe it's just me but I think anyone with one of those hanging on their ear looks just a tad dorky.

To view the avenues download Google Earth. It's free. You wont regret having this wonderful detailed map of the whole world.

Look what this Italian man has carved out of wood

Does anyone see anything wrong with an Alabama kid shooting a pig that was perhaps one of the biggest around?  Maybe he should have let that thing go it's on way. It really wasn't hurting anything so why kill it? And what was an 11 year old doing with a .50 caliber pistol? Can you say redneck? Sort of like the gator killers on Big Pine, only higher class.

Armed with the facts about the effectiveness of teens being in driver education and new funds available from the Dori Slosberg Act of 2005 collected from traffic violations, Monroe County School District plans to expand its driver education program county-wide and year round for the 2007-2008 school year. For more information on how to develop an agreement visit the resource library at

Driver Ed is a wonderful tool and ties in perfectly with the mission of Safe and Drug Free Schools because they also receive interactive instruction with curriculum focused on the effects of drugs and alcohol.

[Bluetooth] Dorks who walk around, apparently talking to themselves, with that foolish Bluetooth gizmo stuck to their ears also use AOL.
1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The
solvent dissolves adhesive.
2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a
trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five
minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.
3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean
cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.
4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting
your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka
disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.
5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, and then blot dry.
And silly me, I've only been drinking the stuff!

May 31st marks the first blue moon since 2004. The next won't occur until December 2009.

Blue moon, you saw me standing alone
Without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own

Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for
You heard me saying a prayer for someone I really could care for

And then suddenly appeared before me, the only one my arms could ever hold
I heard somebody whisper 'please adore me'
But when I looked, that moon had turned to gold - oh oh oh

Blue moon, now I'm no longer alone
Without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own
Without a love of my own

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.

Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment. The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

Does anybody remember the Grand Jury report of a few years ago that wound up summarizing the then current commissioners as incompetent, negligent and not acting in the best interest of the citizens?

After many near and real car accidents from people looking at the hotdog girl she hooked-up with fat Hal who used to have his office on a bar seat at Coconuts. I guess that he had product that she liked much more than that which she was selling. Anyway, she moved in with him and after a short time she decided that what she had to give in order to get what he had to sell was too much a price to pay. So she stole an ounce and ran like hell--never to be heard from again.

What is the deal with "The Hungarian" we see in here every day?  Is it someone who writes in or a paid ad like "Sloan"? (Ed: It’s a chance for budding writers to hone their skill before making it to the big time. Send in your story.)

OxyClinton Video

[South Beach Freaknik] Fun loving college students?  Wasn't there a double homicide involved?  Give me a break!  Even with a heavy police presence, those "fun loving" people still managed to squeeze in a couple of murders.  History speaks for itself.  When that many numbers of a certain ethnic group get together, there is always going to be trouble.  Don't blame the cops.  Blame the mentality of the crowd.

What is this vast dark region on Titan? Quite possible a sea of liquid hydrocarbons. The region was imaged earlier this month when the robotic Cassini spacecraft swooped past Saturn's cloudy moon and illuminated part of it with radar. The dark region in the above image reflected little radar, an effect expected were the dark surface relatively flat, as expected for a liquid. Other indications that the vast dark area is liquid include the coastline-like topology of the brighter regions, which appear to include islands, inlets, and tributary channels. The uninterrupted smoothness of much of the dark sea may indicate that the sea runs deep, with speculation holding a depth estimate of tens of meters. A hydrocarbon sea on Titan holds particular interest for exobiologists as it might be a place where life could develop. In 2005 the Huygens probe landed on Titan and returned the first surface images. Cassini will continue to explore Titan, as 13 more flybys are planned.

Today I went to have my teeth cleaned and the hygienist was very pleased with me.  The reason is that it was recommended to me (by someone other than this hygienist) that I could benefit greatly by buying a Waterpik and using it daily.  It worked like a charm.  I had very little plaque and my gums were pink and healthy.  I floss daily and have for years, but the Waterpik is what did the trick. Usually, I am in there for a long time and have had tooth problems in the past, including the loss of some teeth.  Today, after 6 months of Waterpik use, everything is very much improved with good prognosis for the future.  If you want to avoid the problems I have had in the past, get a Waterpik and you will save teeth and in the long run save money.

[Bush in denial reply]  We’ve been away from the web for a week and have just now seen the posting concerning Prs. Bush and “denial”.  My memory may be flawed, but I seem to remember that a major purpose of the Iraq invasion was to cause a regime change in that beleaguered nation.  Iraq had been labeled a rogue state by the entire world.  Even the Clinton administration had called for a regime change.  The targets were Sadaam and his murderous minions, we were aiming to rid the world of the threat he posed to his neighbors and to the world.  Well folks, Sadaam and his cronies are history.  That can’t be denied.  Militant Muslims, whose goal is a world wide Caliphate government, seek to deny the people of Iraq the freedoms of a democratic government and life.  Their plan is to impose a strict fundamentalist Muslim theocracy.  Sharia will be law of the land.  If they succeed the Iranians will rule and Islamic terrorism will flourish throughout the region and the world.  You must not, repeat must not, forget that these zealots seek dominion over you!  They rejoice in killing infidels, that’s you and yours.  Killing infidels it is virtually a sacrament of their religious practices and beliefs.  You can’t deny that.  That’s not fear mongering folks, it’s just simple fact.

Look, set backs and losses are a part of every conflict.  During the Revolutionary War, the forces of General Washington got their butt kicked all over the northeast; Washington even lost New York City to the Brits.  The winter at Valley Forge and Washington’s valiant crossing of the Delaware was a major tipping point in the war leading to our ultimate victory and freedom from British rule.  We were fighting to establish our freedoms and to rid us of an oppressive ruler.

In the War of 1812 we actually lost Washington D.C. before we prevailed.  We were fighting to preserve our newly won way of life and to preserve our freedoms.

The early years of WW2 were full of losses for the U.S. and our Allies.  The Japanese ran roughshod through out the Pacific defeating us on the land, sea, and air.  It wasn’t until the battle at Midway that we began to prevail.  Do you realize that the Japanese even occupied American soil on the American Continent in the Aleutian Islands?  The Germans did an exemplary job of kicking our butt in the North Atlantic.  Wolf pack subs wreaked havoc on our shipping; they damn near starved our Allies.  The Germans prowled our coast lines sinking thousands of tons of shipping on our Atlantic Coast.  Hell’s bells, they were within 15 miles of Big Pine Key, many alive today saw the flames from our burning ships.  Dunkirk, remember Dunkirk?  The Allies were damn near totally defeated, only a major blunder by the German High Command saved our troops from annihilation.  We were fighting the Axis forces to preserve our way of life, our freedoms.  Don’t forget that the Japanese, like the Muslim fanatics, saw death in combat as a blessing.

Our national history is replete with grievous losses becoming victories.  Many military historians will state that our national loss in Viet Nam was not a military defeat, but rather a loss of the will to win.  This corruption of our national spirit should be of great concern to us all.  Nonetheless many seem to delight in the fact that we are experiencing problems in the democratization of Iraq.  It seems as if a wave of joyous defeatism is engulfing far too many Americans.  They revel in Prs. Bush’s travails.  The hate of Bush blinds the haters to the consequences of any defeat in this conflict.  Our enemy has hated us for decades; the enemy despises our way of life, our religions, and our freedoms.  The Judeo Christian way of life, your way of life, will perish if the Islamic fundamentalists prevail.  They will never “like” us; we can hope that they respect us, failing that they must fear us.

And so far too many of us smugly play “Dr Phil” and attempt pseudo psychological analysis of the individual who is doing his level best to protect this country, you, and me from a very real enemy who is determined to see us dead.  One must wonder what analysis would be levied on George Washington or FDR for their refusal to quit in the face of serious losses.  By the way, where would we be now if they had embraced defeat?  Our national interests are best served by prevailing in Iraq, you shouldn’t even try to deny that.

We went to Key Deer Bar and Grill last night for their Wednesday Military Appreciation offer.  They offer 50% off your bill for food that you order.  Alcohol goes at its regular price.  The food was wonderful. Jeffrey, our server, was terrific in every way and we enjoyed ourselves very much.  We will go back over and over. Thank you, Key Deer Bar and Grill for such a generous discount for military people. Hope you all that are reading this will try Key Deer if you haven't already.  It's a great local place!

Thanks, Ed, for using a more palatable picture on the Bagel Island ad. That one with the turd-critter coming out of the bagel was too gross.

Here is what we are dealing with from our real estate "professionals": The real estate industry is still trying to fix the price of real estate commissions. The National Association of Realtors is constantly trying new tactics to get fixed commissions. They've tried to control access to the Multiple Listing Services, for instance. And the NAR has tried to get states to pass laws making it illegal for people to use alternative services for buying and selling homes. Kentucky passed one of these laws, but the state has now eliminated that statute. South Dakota has done the same thing. Texas, however, still has a very harmful law in place. Consumers lose anytime an industry tries to fix prices, and the Justice Department is going after the NAR. But the truth is that the marketplace will decide what happens. People want choices and these bully tactics aren't going to work.

Anglers targeting dolphin can also “catch” cash prizes and awards totaling more than $36,000 in the 14th annual Big Pine and Lower Keys Dolphin Tournament.
Bulletin Board

[60 The Hungarian] When I got up the next morning Mom was sitting at the kitchen table asleep, evidently dad didn't make it home. Mom had been waiting up for him. I shook her and she came to, "What, what time is it? Is your father home?" "It's 6 am, mom, and dads not home. I wonder what happened to him? Did he call?" "No he didn't son. What is that noise?" "That's gunfire mom, must be coming from downtown." "Oh my God! There's going to be trouble. I better go to the store and by all the essentials before they close. Wake your brother I'm taking him with me." Waking Steve, that was a task. Most of the time that kid was still asleep while eating his breakfast. I wasn't going to play his silly game this time so I took along a glass of cold water and after I got him on his feet I threw the water in his face. He woke right up, "Mom, Imre's trying to drown me?" "Hurry up Steve, get dressed. Mom want's you to go with her." He started to get dressed but was still whining, "I'm hungry." Mom said, "Come on son and I'll fix you a nice breakfast when we get back." She gave one satchel to Steve and she took the other and they left.

I got dressed as fast as I could and ran up to Pista's. He answered the door while his parents and sister were still sleeping. "Hey Pista, do you want to go and look around?" "You’re damn right.” "Did you hear the gunfire?” “Sure I did, let's find out where it's coming from." "OK, let me throw some clothes on and meet you out front." I slid down the banister and ran out on the avenue. The wide avenue was totally deserted and I could hear the gunfire again from the direction of the Eastern Rail Terminal. I walked out into the middle of the street and looked toward the Octagon.  I couldn't see a soul, not a car, bus or a human being. Three blocks from me on the corner of the avenue and Bajza street was the Russian Embassy. There I spied the menacing forms of two T-55 tanks. Pista came running out, "Hey, Imre, which way should we go?" "Let's go toward the sound of the guns that's coming from the direction of the Eastern Rail Terminal." At a fast walking pace we headed down Dozsa George Avenue toward the terminal.

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Thursday May 31, 2007


Wednesday May 30, 2007

Thanks to whomever sent in the European winter montage. It made me homesick.

I’ve been following the Holly Brozi firing story in The Citizen and the Blue Paper.  I’m not local but a friend is and a teacher in Key West.  Anybody have an opinion on what’s going on?

We wanted to erect a statue of George in the Washington, D.C. Hall of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie--or beside Richard Nixon, who never told the truth--since Bush could never tell the difference!

We finally decided to place it beside the statue of Christopher Columbus.
He left not knowing where he was going; and, when he got there, he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, decimated the well-being of the majority of the population while he was there, and did it all on someone else's money.

[Black spots on Mars] Scientists have found out the holes are what is left of the spent uranium storage facilities when Mars had life and all the nuclear plant maintenance workers went on strike!

Whoa!  It really appears as if someone touched a nerve in our realtor population!  “Methinks thou dost protest too much!”

[hot dog girl] It might be her across from Homo Depot in Marathon or her younger "smaller" sister!

I wonder how many oxygen producing trees we would have, if every instruction book, were only printed in English?

[People can bitch about Realtors, Lawyers, Doctors, Insurance Rates and other professions.  The bottom line is we need all of them.] Do we?  I sat down with Yellow Pages and crossed off the non-essential businesses and professions. I had 3 pages left and not one advertisement for a farmer, or well driller, but I did find the poop people! 

I am looking for a copy of the airplane photo taken of the Avenues on BPK in the last two years. There is one currently hanging in the Key Deer Bar, but the phone number on the print is disconnected. Can anyone out there help me with this “want”? 

Do you know why low-renters double park?   Heredity!

Definition: Noise
, n; A losers lust to be conspicuous. "To Be Quiet, Is To Be Dignified", so stick those Hog pipes up your afterburner, hog breath!

The "Freaknik" spring break party in Miami over the long weekend was a great success, except for the racist police picking on the fun loving college students who came down to South Beach to relax and have some good clean fun. The news last night reported two homicides and around 700 arrests--a good year. Last year there were over 800 arrest and a few rapes.

I finally figured out why people do not steal shopping carts. Would want the smelly, rusty, baby poop covered pile of junk in your living room?

[Hot Dog Girl] I am sure the insurance agents remember her from all the rear end collisions that happened due to her uniform.

At least someone got it right.

[WaWaWa] I agree 100%. Also if I was a realtor, I would tell all those cheepos to use a realtor from the mainland and really get the GAFF(?).

[talking to yourself on your
  I don't know about that, but I have talked to a lot of people down here with green teeth.

I enjoy reading The Hungarian's first person account of the 1956 Hungarian revolution. What an electrifying time. If they had had oil the USA would have come to their aid, but as it was, we let "Democracy" be crushed by the tyrant.

2007 All-Star ballot. ballot

After three years of genocide President Bush finally did something to stop it, but seeing as they have no oil and we have no troops he stopped doing business with 21 of that countries businesses. Yeah, that's really going to hurt them.

Does anyone know what is going on with the building that was Bahama Jack's?  It would be nice to see a decent restaurant go in there.  Pepperoni's was a nice family pizza place.  Fins was pretty good too.  Bahama Jack's was…well…two out of three being good isn't bad.  A nice Mexican restaurant would be great.  I love Chico's but it's a long drive for a quick lunch or early dinner.

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

I bought the juiciest tomatoes at Lost Cargo yesterday.

[59 The Hungarian]  The cables were fastened to the dump trucks, the slack was taken up and they pulled in unison. The cables were taunt; the drive wheels of the trucks were smoking and screeching. With great sparks the cables parted and went hissing thru the air like angry snakes. Steve and I could see the statue fine, and the dump truck, but all the people were pressing in on us. I had never been in such a big crowd before in my life.

I was beginning to be scared for us. To fall down in a crowd like this could result in serious injury even death. I had no idea where mom was, even if I did, that wouldn't help. The statue had my attention again. Men were now hauling welding equipment up to Stalin’s boots on a ladder. Others with hammers were pounding on Stalin's boot top. Where it sounded hollow they marked it with chalk. The men with the cutting torch started to cut behind Stalin’s knees. When both legs were cut half way thru, the men scrambled down and the trucks were signaled. The trucks took up the slack and started to pull, Stalin started to lean forward and for a moment it looked as if he tried to hold onto the reins of power, hung there for a blink of an eye and toppled to the cobblestones. It made a mighty hollow sound and everybody went nuts.

The crowd went absolutely wild, I was really scared now. The crowd was surging toward the fallen Stalin like a tsunami. I knew if we stayed we would be trampled. We had to make a dash to the closest truck. I got a grip on Steve’s hand extra good and told him, ”You hold me too, no matter what." "Imre I'm scared." "Don't be afraid, stay on your feet and stay with me. Are you ready?" "Yes." The crowd thinned a little and I saw our chance, "Let’s GO!" I ran for the truck pulling Steve and focused on the truck not looking back. Lucky for us that the truck was toward the statue and we moved mostly with the flow of humanity. I was out of breath when I slid under the truck still holding Steve's hand just as hard as I could. "Imre you're hurting my hand." His voice made me realize that we were safe now. I was not going to move from here until the truck moved or the madness stopped. I hoped that mom was all right and didn't get trampled.

The crowd was venting their anger on the fallen image of Stalin. They were pounding on it with anything and everything. Stalin was making a deep hollow sound like a grotesque bell. I looked toward the pink marble base of the statue; it was covered reliefs of Russian soldiers and Hungarian farmers and workers shaking hands in the spirit of brotherhood. The people that couldn't get at Stalin went at the decorations on the base of the statue. With hammers and picks they obliterated the Russian soldiers. On the pedestal where Stalin stood an hour ago, there were only a giant pair of boots. The flag of the revolution was flying above it and they hung a sign with the new name BOOT PLAZA. We waited until Stalin was tied to the back of one of the other trucks and dragged down the road that we came in on. Some people rode on top of the statue, still pounding it with hammers. When this great procession arrived at Heroes Square the pounding stopped and those thousands of people sang the National Anthem with one voice.

The lights were not on at the square so the people made torches from newspapers and held them high, it was a sight to behold. Now I took part in a historical event, I was there. After the National Anthem the crowd went on the avenue dragging Stalin with them and the pounding re-commenced. We broke away from them and went into our building. Mom greeted us at the door practically in tears. She hugged and kissed both of us, "I didn't know what happened with you two! One second you were, the next you were gone, I looked all over, I asked everyone. I'm so glad that you are home safe." "We were fine mom, we saw Stalin fall." Steve wanted to say something too," "Yes, he went crash!" "Yes, darlings it was great. I wonder what will come of all this?" "Maybe the Russians will go home like we’ve been suggesting."

"Have you not heard, Imre? They are all gone from next door. Ede's father has an empty building." "See mom, it's working already." "Yes, I wonder what's keeping your father. He's never this late." Steve thought he had the answer, "He’s just held up in traffic." Mom stayed up late waiting for dad. I was still excited and didn’t fall asleep until way past midnight. I awoke about six am as it was just getting light. As soon as the cobwebs disappeared from my head I heard gunfire. Automatic gunfire, just like in the movies, but this wasn’t a movie. The Hungarian

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Wednesday May 30, 2007


Tuesday May 29, 2007

Does our county commission really care about the county and its people, or does its motivation lie elsewhere? The planning department has already voted to change the zoning on Lucky's Landing trailer park to open the door for the owners to build condos in the lower keys. Now it's up to the county commissioners to give the final ok to change the zoning. This will set a legal precedent that will enable all the rest of the greed-heads to bulldoze the trailer parks, drive out the peasants, and concretize the keys. The commission doesn't have to vote for this change; nobody is holding a lawsuit over their heads. Without the zoning change--no condos. It is that simple. Wiser and less self-serving commissioners set the zoning as it is for a reason, to protect an existing way of life and its people. Watch the upcoming voting, and see what our representatives really want for the keys, and remember their votes and their underlying reasons.   

China’s Pharmaceutical czar was sentenced to death for corruption. Way to go China!

[hotdog girl] The one in the
green thong? Nope, never saw her.

People can bitch about Realtors, Lawyers, Doctors, Insurance Rates and every other profession.  The bottom line is we need all of them.  They are all business and provide a service.  A service costs money. 

Queen Elizabeth II
the largest landowner on Earth. I wonder if she needs one of our realtors?

I remember the hot dog girl! She was a good looking female person. I liked her Hot Dogs too!

Black spots have been discovered on Mars that are so dark that nothing inside can be seen. Quite possibly, the spots are entrances to deep underground caves capable of protecting Martian life, were it to exist. The unusual hole pictured above was found on the slopes of the giant Martian volcano Arsia Mons. The above image was captured three weeks ago by the HiRISE instrument onboard the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter currently circling Mars. The holes were originally identified on lower resolution images from the Mars Odyssey spacecraft; the above hole is about the size of a football field and is so deep that it is completely un-illuminated by the Sun. Such holes and underground caves might be prime targets for future spacecraft, robots, and even the next generation of human interplanetary explorers.

For Sale By Owner (FSBO), Sell home house condo Buy Real Estate MLS how to.

Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory" are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more  rights and free everything.

Europe winter scenes. Slide Show

[Does anyone remember the hotdog girl] Who could forget Silicone Sally who wore the Itsy-Bitsy-Titsy Bikini?

[any info on a
good metal roof company]
No! But a list of bad ones would fill this week’s quota of this blog.

I don't know about everyone else but I've had enough real estate BS.

[St Pete real estate agent] Thanks for the good posting, but I think you’d better stay in St. Pete as we have a dearth of realtors here just twiddling their thumbs.

[hotdog girl] I remember a friend of mine and I were going to stop by and get a hotdog, that was before we saw her adjusting her g-string with her bare hands and it wasn't like she had a place to wash them. She was fine to look at though.

Bill Clinton ruined his own reputation
. No he didn't. Is was a lowly gold digging intern with lousy table…er…desk manners wearing cheap cloths that stained easily. Next time hire a professional artificial respiration-ist, like Hilary! 

[good metal roof company] I got a new metal roof last summer from Dan Ace. They showed up when they said they would, the job took the amount of time estimated and they cleaned up meticulously when they were done. I give Dan Ace Roofing five stars!


Today is a landmark day, I just collected my 2000th animation from this blog. Yeah! (Ed: Make that 2001.)

[hotdog girl] The last time I heard anything about that young lady she had been arrested in Key West for drunk driving after having run into the guard station at the southernmost entrance to the Navel Base in Key West.

(Update on the fox-in-the-snow-pic) Foxy has returned in the last few weeks looking really thin.  I suspected she had babies. Today after her visit she ran across the road and we saw a bunch of fox come bouncing out of the woods.  We tried to get a count, but they move too fast.  Here are some of Foxy's family.  The big fox in the first picture must be the Daddy.


Realtors sure are a sensitive bunch. Feeling guilty?

Have a nice Memorial Day, they can't!

[Realtors] Don't tell me that we will have to feel sorry for these jars of leeches. Next to lawyers they are about the most unethical creatures. They will do just about anything to close that deal and get their 6% and up. I said yesterday what should be done to the person who invented them, but Editor wouldn't print it. There are a lot of things that Ed doesn't print. I think it be healthier if he would.

When the
stork becomes outdated.

Whoever told you that you looked cool talking to yourself on your Bluetooth. Well, they lied.

Wa, wa, wa I have to pay 6% when I sell my home. Wa, wa, wa I have to push old ladies out of the way at Winn Dixie. Wa, wa, wa I can't sell my property to a big conglomerate. Wa, wa, wa the Key Deer are eating my hibiscus. Wa, wa, wa it's too windy. Wa, wa, wa the gays are are all over. Wa, wa, wa the girls on Big Pine have no teeth. Wa, wa, wa my wind insurances is still too high. Wa, wa, wa enough is enough. Wa, wa, wa President Bush is an idiot. Wa, wa, wa the editor of this crap prints this crap.

The problem with Real Estate agents is not the commission, per say. It's their unbridled greed. They pretend to be doing everyone a favor by increasing land values and raising lease rates. What they are really doing (and some may not realize it) is keeping the "have's" separated from the "have nots." They unwittingly become a tool for the big guys and the little guys get a tougher battle

[Walk a mile in my shoes] Before you criticize someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. That way you will be a mile away from them and have their shoes.

[58 The Hungarian] The first part of September was getting into the rhythm of school. I had the toughest time getting going in the morning, after I slid down the banister, I was all right. The weather was unusually warm all thru September and into October. Mom wanted to wear her new beautiful overcoat, but there was no need. My great aunt Kató usually stopped by a couple times a week, her and mom talk and drink coffee. I think the old gall came because of the American coffee; she had a son in the air force and flew a MIG. On this day she arrived in a highly agitated mode, more upset than anything.

She was talking to mother real fast, "Maria, it was terrible, blood everywhere; they shot people at the radio station!" Now, that got my attention.” Yes it was horrible, people were all bloody, and others were carrying body parts." Hell, I’ve got to see this. I looked at the calendar it was November Twenty-third, 1956. Mom was trying to calm aunt Kató, "Auntie calm down, I'm sure it's not as bad as it looked." It was worse. I got my jacket and headed for the door. "Hold it. Just where do you think you're going?" "Just going out for a while mom." "Oh, no you’re not, you just go to your room and get your books out." "I got plenty of time to study, mom. I just want to see what's going on." "That's what I was afraid of. Go."

I turned on the radio, there were only two stations, both of them were on their normal programming. I don't know how much time had passed, but it wasn't dark yet. I heard mom calling me, "Imre, Imre, come quick look at this." She wasn't in the kitchen I traced her voice to the living room. She had the window open and was leaning out and when she heard me she said, "Come and look at this." I looked out the window and could hardly believe my eyes. I have seen the avenue with lots of people before, but this was ridiculous. The street was filled from curb to curb with men and women carrying Hungarian flags that the communist emblem was cut out of leaving a gaping hole. They were also carrying signs FREEDOM FOR HUNGARY and RUSSIANS GO HOME. The sight made my heart beat faster; I’d never seen anything like this before. I made a megaphone from my hands and yelled down to the crowd, "Where are you going?" A voice answered back, "Were going to pull down Stalin's statue."
The Hungarian

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Tuesday May 29, 2007


Memorial Day 2007

[I plagiarized this article from Newsweek] Denying the evidence of your eyes is the most extreme form of the coping mecha­nism called denial. But denial comes in milder forms as well. Parents refuse to be­lieve their child is on drugs; that baggie un­der his bed contained oregano. A husband maintains his wife cannot be cheating; those late nights she spends with a friend are purely platonic.

And a president who insists that a war will succeed despite setback after setback? It's risky to put a politician on the couch, but that has not kept President Bush's crit­ics from charging that he is "in a state of denial" about the situation in Iraq, as Sen. Harry Reid said last month. That phrase was the title of Bob Woodward's latest book on the war, and in January, USA Today editorialized that Bush is "in denial about the insurgency that has plunged [Iraq] into civil war."

"I do think there is denial on Bush's part in his running of the war; he seems unmoved by the extent of the evidence that things are far worse than he believes. The tip-off for denial is perpetual optimism, a pathological certainty that things are going well.

People resort to  denial when recognizing that the truth would destroy something they hold dear. Denial is unconscious, or it wouldn't work: if you know you're closing your eyes to the truth, some part of you knows what the truth is and denial can't
perform its protective function.

One thing we all struggle to protect is a positive self-image. The more important the aspect of your self-image that's chal­lenged by the truth--the more likely you are to go into denial. If you have a strong sense of self-worth and competence, your self-image can take hits but remain largely intact; if you're beset by self-doubt, however, any acknowledg­ment of failure can be devastating and any admission of error painful to the point of being unthinkable. Self-justification and denial arise from the dissonance between believing you're com­petent, and making a mistake, which clashes with that image. Solution: deny the mistake. Similarly, if a political leader believes himself competent and wise, and a decision has disastrous consequences, the only way to reconcile self-image with failure is to deny the failure. A president who believes "he has the truth becomes impervious to self-correction." He blinds himself to in­formation that might make him doubt his decision. There are exceptions, however. When the Bay of Pigs proved to be a fias­co, JFK said responsibility was "mine and mine alone:' No denial there.

Does a
nyone remember the hotdog girl that used to be at the red light in front of Coconuts?

[Realtor, Commissions, Discounts]  The list goes on.  I moved about 8 months ago.  I found another house in my neighborhood that I loved so I took the opportunity to upgrade during a slow market.  I bought the house directly from the owner with my attorney handling the paperwork.  When I sold my house on the canal my same attorney told me if I want a quick sale I should list it with a realtor.  That would get the house seen by more people.  He suggested several realtors.  I interviewed them all and a few more that I see around town and whose ads I see in the Real Estate books.  I discussed commissions, costs and time on the market with all of them.  Most of them were pretty firm at 6%.  I will not name individual realtors because I don't want to advertise for them.  One woman from Re Max offered to take it at 4.5% but I was very unimpressed with her so I moved on.  I wanted a quality realtor not a cheep price.  I was totally turned off by Prudential whereas I had heard they were going under as a company.  After interviewing all of them I was torn between two people from Century 21 and one from Coldwell Banker.  I ended up choosing Coldwell Banker.  This Realtor told me her commission was 7%.  I questioned her saying most others had said 6% was standard.  She explained that the commission was split between the buyer's Realtor and her as my Realtor and that extra 1% would get more Realtors to push my house.  After all they are being paid more to sell mine than they are if they sell my neighbor's. 

It made perfect sense so I agreed to the 7% wanting my house sold ASAP allowing me to pay off most of the mortgage on my new house.  A month into the six (6) month listing I heard that even though she was charging 7% she was only offering the Realtor who represented the buyer 3% and she was keeping 4%.  I reminded her about the conversation we had and her telling me that 7% over 6% would allow her to offer more to the Realtor representing the buyer.  After all it is the buyer who brings the money to the deal.  She said I must have misunderstood her.  I said, no, she must have lied and I fired her on the spot.  The next day another woman from Coldwell Banker called me claiming to be in charge and said that if I sell my house before the end of the listing contract I will owe Coldwell Banker 7% of my sale price no matter who sells it.  I suggested that she may want to talk to her employees about misleading a customer and about fraud and misrepresentation.  We closed the conversation by me giving her my attorney's name and phone number.  I called my attorney to discuss what had happened.  I ended up hiring one of the Century 21 Realtors who I had also liked and he sold my house in a month for 6%.

My point is, if you want it sold and sold fast don't go for a discount go for reputation.  If someone tells you they want 6% or 7% make sure they are offering 50% of what they are charging you to the person who brings the buyer who brings the money.  My house sold for $1,150,000.  Miss 7% lost $40,250, 3.5% as she promised, that day just by being a liar.  Let the buyer beware but let the seller be informed.

There's a lot of sadness in the world. Right now, as you read this, 17 million Americans are having sex and you're on this stupid computer!

Don’t overlook the fact that the realtors’ commission is split with the selling agent and their respective brokers.  In other words, they only get one fourth of it.  Then they have to buy gas, pay at least something in advertising fees, feed the kids, etc.

Oh, I didn't know that went there!

[A real estate attorney will sell your house for $1000 to $4000]   I couldn’t let this go without a comment so here is my two cents worth.  In Florida, Real Estate attorneys do not have to be a licensed Real Estate professional to write a contract for sale and purchase between a buyer and a seller (no realtor involved), as long as it is within the scope of their job.  Most Monroe county real estate attorneys charge between $600 to $1000 just to prepare the documents.  If the real estate attorney is the closing agent, and they use Attorneys Title Insurance Fund, more commonly known as the FUND, to write the Title Insurance Policy, the closing attorney keeps 70% of the premium charged. Premiums charged are based on the sale price of the home. An attorney can reap as much as, and if the home sells in the million dollar range, even more than what a Realtor would earn in a 6% commission transaction. That is where the real estate attorney makes money, not in preparation of the real estate documents.  The difference being, Real Estate attorneys do not have to be a licensed Real Estate professional.  Florida NAR has been actively lobbying the legislature to put more restrictive guidelines in place to restrict who must be licensed to write Real Estate Contracts. (Been there, done that.)

13 years ago when I sat for the Real Estate exam, two of the requirements were, you had to be 18 years old and a high school graduate.  I would bet to say this has not changed today.  Go ahead, call FREC, (your so smart, do you even know who that is?)

In short, a Realtor (this designation is higher than someone with just a Real Estate License) and most Real Estate offices throughout Monroe County will hire only individuals with the Realtor designation. They are worth every penny they earn and then some. The more specialized they are (these are the ones who use specific designations after their name) the better represented Ms. Home Seller will be. A fiduciary relationship between Realtor and client lasts a lifetime, not just the period from listing to closing.

I agree, not all Realtor's are created equal, but most Realtor's here, subscribe to and follow the strict code of ethics of this profession.  The next time you bring down a Realtor, stop and think what hurdles had to be jumped and sacrifices your Realtor had to work around just so that you, Ms. Home Seller, will get the highest and/or best price for your home.

Does anyone have any info on a good metal roof company?

Bill Clinton ruined his own reputation; meanwhile George W. Bush has ruined our entire country's reputation

Memorial Day. Yesterday evening I found myself reminiscing a visit I made, maybe in late 1990, to the Vietnam war memorial in Washington D.C., on which I found the names of two of my college fraternity brothers, who had told some people before they went over there that they didn’t think they were coming back. They were good young men, liked by many people, and they died so young, and for what? Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

When I did real estate in the Lower Keys most of my listings were with out of town owners.  I spent countless hours checking on properties to be sure they were always in "showing condition", not to mention the hours spent showing the properties to tourists and other looky-loos who had no reason to bother me other than they had nothing better to do.

Real Estate people are sub-contractors, and good one's maintain a business model.

I had multi-page advertising in three publications, a toll-free 800 line, spent hours hunting buyers for my sellers, not to mention the aggravation of dealing with buyers getting loans, illegal downstairs enclosures, build-ability issues on lots, closing problems and the constant back stabbing that goes on in the Keys. 

By the time a house sold and the commission was split in half with another realtor (who found a buyer) and split again with my broker, I usually saw 20%-30% of the actual commission.  Back then the market was a 270 day market, meaning by the time sellers got real with their price, the house had been on the market for nine months.

How many of you out there have the ability to wait nine months to get paid for the work you do everyday?  In today's market I'd bet many Realtors in the Keys are holding inventory for much longer.

I suspect we're seeing the responses of a jealous bunch of hourly workers who haven't the knowledge or ability to perform in a free market society.

Selling your house FSBO is always an option but I haven't met many people who could navigate the intricacies of a sale without tripping along the way.

It’s so nice of some of these bands to tell us where they are playing. It saves lots of time knowing I don’t need to go to certain places and hear the same old crap.

[Realtors] The person who invented them is probably dead by now, but if he isn't he should be hung until dead. What a racket! I had one try to screw me. The house was perfect for me right off 6th Ave in N. Miami. The realtor told me that he couldn’t sell me the house because there was some problem with the deed, but I could rent it until he worked out the problem. He just needed a five thousand dollar down payment and I could move into the house. I lived there two years paid the rent and fixed up the yard and planted trees. He show up one day and said that he has to terminate our agreement because he can't get the deed to the house. I told him; "I'm going to terminate your ass" I was so pissed. He jumped in his car and escaped. I wrote a letter to the state real estate board or whatever it’s called, but didn’t send it.

I phoned the man and told him that I was calmed down and wanted to talk. He showed up and wanted to know when I would be moving out.

I showed him a copy of the letter I was prepared to send to the state board. As he read the letter he turned white as a sheet, I thought he was going to get sick. I told him I will no longer pay any rent, I wanted my five big ones, and all the rent money returned. If not I'm mailing the letter. The State of Florida must be real tough on real estate fraud because another year went by and this guy returned all my money and I moved out.

Why can't we buy or sell our own houses? And that closing cost is a bunch of crap. 

[Using salt water from a canal for a fire] A little over three years ago our home burned to the ground.  What few possessions we had remaining that the fire hadn’t damaged were ruined by the water.  In an instance like ours when everything is a total loss, sure salt water would have worked great.  But if it was a small kitchen fire or another such instance, would you really want the interior of your home and all of your electrical wiring, etc sprayed with stagnant sea water?  I assure you your damage from salt spray would exceed the fire damage!

I love the classic real estate line "Nobody will show your house for only 2% commission since sales are slow."   Let me get this straight, few houses are selling down here, realtors are making zip, but they won't show a $1,000,000 home and each take away $20,000 in commissions. Even if they split it with a broker they make $10,000 each. I guess they don't need the money.

Traveling down the Keys this Memorial Day weekend on Sunday was a breeze. I hope you all have a good one.

As a realtor up here in St Pete I usually charge 6%. Half of that goes to the buyers’ broker. Of my half 30% goes to my broker. The remainder of which is taxed by uncle Sam at about 22-25 per cent. No rich quick scheme here.

At the time of listing the property I offer a variable commission starting with the previous paragraph numbers. I then say that my brokerage will agree to a 4% commission if no-other brokerage is involved in the sale. It's a win-win situation.  The seller keeps the extra 2% otherwise spent and the realtor picks up an extra 1% too! It's amazing how much more cooperation I get from the sellers under this arrangement. They see the value in running their own open house, keeping the info tube full of flyers and generally keeping the property in showing condition. It's also easier on me without dealing with the other agent as far as the paper work goes. Speaking of paperwork, getting a signed offer on a property is the start of the work not the end.

I nurture my contracts like a fat kid with a cookie. I carry them around all day every day in my travels in case a concern comes up for me to address, 24/7 of course. Buyers and sellers don't care what time it is or what day it is when they have an issue with the transaction. This is where professionalism is paramount. This is where I earn the money, first trying to anticipate any bumps then easing the rest of the bumps because of the high stress factor for the buyer and the seller. This style works for me. I've closed three properties this month alone; two by myself and one with another agent. Maybe I should come down to BPK and try my style down there. What do you think?

I would like to know why so few homes have a Flag out for Memorial Day. Show respect for the men and women who, with courage and dignity, gave of themselves so you and I have our freedoms. Tell me where else can you make fun, criticize, call the president a moron (which he is not) and not be hung or thrown in prison.

Someone, apparently in the real estate business, implied that if you use a salesman that gets a 6% commission on your house it was like using a finely trained cook, but if you only paid 5% commission a lowlife burger flipper sold it. I guess someone finding the house, the house they want, has nothing to do with it. Visit the "For sale by owner" website, that’s how I found my house and saved money on commissions. I bought it from a burger flipper, I guess. Poor me.

Feral cat sighting
on Fern Ave, half way between Watson Blvd. and Mango/Chickasaw Lane. This reddish feline was going into in the Boss Tract wetlands; no doubt to hunt native wildlife.

[Realtors' Commissions] I was a licensed realtor before I moved to the Keys and it's a tough business. One thing I learned is that the selling agent does most of the work; listing is icing on the cake.  So, I sold my house myself.  After some cleaning, painting, and taking care of minor repairs, I packed away most of the clutter to let people see the house and not my lifestyle.  With my computer, I made brochures.  On January 1, 2006, I put up a For Sale By Owner sign with the brochures in a container hanging from it.  With additional help from a few ads, some with a picture of the house, some with no picture, in the Keynoter, Barometer, and Citizen newspapers, and an active grapevine, I had lots of activity and a clean contract on the house by the middle of March.  We settled April 4th.

I was not willing to take a contract contingent on the sale of property and I was particularly hesitant about "creative" financing, and that put many interested people out of the running.  I also offered 3% to any realtor who could bring a buyer, but none did.  My buyer was cruising the neighborhood and picked up a brochure.  Other very interested people did the same thing. The newspaper ads produced a few calls, but the sign and brochures accomplished more.

I also lowered the price, with no hesitation, to what the market would bear. While this is emotionally unpalatable to many sellers, this is what it takes to sell a house in a buyers' market.  Since I've sold, I've tracked many of the listings of homes on the market during the same time as mine, and most are now priced around that for which I sold my home.  The difference - mine was sold in three months; theirs are still on the market after 16 months.

It is also possible to list your property on the local MLS for anywhere from $300 up.  (The activity and interest levels on my house didn't warrant it, but it was an option I explored.)  A search on the internet will give you options - some local, some not.  Figure on giving an agent 3% if you want your property shown; they have too many choices to work for less.  Another option is to give a listing agent 4% - 1% to him/her, essentially to get it in the MLS, and 3% to the selling agent.

If you go it alone get an attorney to draw up a contract for you; the legalese required is for your own protection.  Even I, experienced with real estate contracts, missed some details Florida laws require.  A contract is nice to have in your hands so that you can complete immediately the paperwork with an interested buyer.  A clause in the contract can give you X number of days to get attorney's approval, but get it as soon as you can.

One of the taboos in the real estate industry is a realtor selling his/her own property as For Sale by Owner.  Obviously, this doesn't lend credence to their mantra that only a listing with a realtor will get your house sold.  I noticed many Keys realtors selling their homes or investment properties without officially listing them.  Talk about not wanting to pay high commissions; they don't want to pay even reduced ones!

Happy Memorial Day. Is that an oxymoron?]
Yes, just like Military Intelligence, Honest Politicians, Organized Crime/Religion, and Condo's are Good.

[Is the editor’s politics showing?] So much for freedom of the ePress and an open minded outlet!

If a real estate agent charged $100 per hour for their services, they would starve to death.

I’m voting for Hillary because we’ll get two presidents for the price of one. What a deal!

I’m a great realtor. See, I even have my picture on my card, my car, in the paper, on my sign, at my office, on the bench. Don’t I look honest? I’m not full of myself.

Any of you whiners in the Keys want to try it in the real world?  Come on up. Bring money.

The latest terrorist captured.

[Faith, Hope, Charity] In his first inaugural address, the father of our current President Bush called for a “new engagement in the lives of others.” He promised to be more of a “hands on” administrator than his predecessor, and he committed his presidency to creating a “kinder, gentler” nation, more sensitive and caring to the poor and disadvantaged.

Today is Pentecost in the Western Christian tradition, the day the disciples of Jesus are said in the Book of Acts to have received the Holy Spirit. From that day forward, they were very different from what they had been before. Until Pentecost, they been frightened, confused and unruly children, and after Pentecost they were adults standing deeply in God’s kingdom and wisdom.

In the Christian tradition, the Holy Wisdom of God (Hagia Sophia in Greek) is a divine attribute in which new Christians share to some degree through the sacrament of Confirmation, when they receive the Holy Spirit and share in Pentecost. Many churches are dedicated to it, the most famous being Hagia Sophia in Istanbul, Constantinople. It is sometimes associated with a sainted martyr of the same name, Saint Sophia, whose daughters are Faith, Hope and Charity.

President Bush and his president father before him profess to be Christians. I ask them, and all American Christians to consider that the symbol of the Holy Spirit in both the Old and New Testaments is the dove which is a universal symbol of peace. I ask them to consider that in Judaism the Spirit of God is known as Shekinah, which is female. I ask them to consider that in the Old Testament the female gender is assigned to Wisdom. I ask them to consider that God is not just patriarchal and what America needs now is a lot less Uncle Sam and a lot more Miss Liberty. A lot more.
       (Sunday, May 27's
Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo)

I love all the feedback from the Real Estate agents trying to justify their obnoxious fees. I will never sell my home through any realtor ever. I'll burn it down first! What's wrong with a flat fee of say, $2000 for any property? It is all the same rubber stamp work load.

"Intimidation and constant harassment is a small price to pay to live in the land of the free " --Homer Simpson

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Monday May 28, 2007



Sunday May 27, 2007

Remembering Memorial Day
. The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Thank you to those Veterans and active servicemen and women who may read this and a prayer for those who cannot because they are no longer with us.

Editors Choice Picture of the Week:
The last people to ever gamble on the Lady Luck casino boat.

I just discovered the Lost Cargo store and they sell tomatoes. I'll be buying my produce there now that the flea market is closed.

[Is the editor’s politics showing?] Constantly. That's one of the perks of being Ed.

How would you like to have a business where you could get just about every working American to pay you between fifty and a hundred dollars a week? You’d be in the gasoline business.

How about the realtors who have to show a customer twenty properties before they finally buy one? Don’t they deserve that 6% commission? How about when the client calls when the realtor is eating and has to stop and go show a house?

Save a Stray Bumper Sticker at The Animal Rescue Site

How much does the average 6% realtor spend to advertise a $400,000 house and a $1,000,000 house and how many hours of work do they actually devote to any single sale? The commissions on these two hypothetical homes range from $24,000 to $60,000. If they spent as much as $10,000 to advertise the $400,000 house that still leaves $14,000 in profit and at $100 an hour that is 140 hours of actual work. I'd be surprised if any realtor or combination of realtors actually spends 140 hours of work selling the average $400,000 house. I also seriously doubt that many, if any of them spend $10,000 to advertise one $400,000 house. Do they spend a lot more hours of actual work or a larger proportion of dollars in advertising to sell the more expensive house? This percentage of sale method is a rip-off, but the cartel has the system they want and we can't do much about it except try For Sale By Owner.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”  
--Ben Franklin

Realtors and 6% vs 5% is a common business decision.  Some charge 6% or 7% because they are capable of doing the job better than a 5% or 4% discount broker.  A Mercedes costs more than a GEO because it is a better automobile.  The chef at A & B Lobster House gets paid more than the burger flipper at Wendy's because he can cook better.  It's just common economics.

hair color] Two options, shiny or dull.

Most realtors are the same; the only competitive thing they have to offer is a reduction of their six percent commission.

Your fly's open!

Is their soME way to dISABle the Caps Lock kEy on my coMPUTer? I’m forever hitting it by miSTAKE.

Sunday Morning
. What a beautiful day! So far, the wind has laid down and I’m going boating. Happy Memorial Day. (Is that an oxymoron?)

[fire engine] Salt water does not mess up a pump. That is why we flush the system after a fire.  The yellow hydrants you see on street corners are wells that are salt water. The truck carries about 20 foot of hard suction hose which can be used to draw sea water.

A bar owner walks into his bar and says to the bartender, "Are you having sex with the waitress?" The bartender says, “No.”  And the bar owner says, "Good, you fire her."

How can Habitat for Humanity put housing in Venture Out? It is not privately owned.  Perhaps it is for some retired people who could not afford Venture Out prices. So there goes the neighborhood.  I think not.

A real estate attorney will not sell your home for $1000 to $4000, but they will do the closing for that price, once you have an agreement with a buyer.  A Closing Company will do the same closing without the associated drama usually brought by an attorney for between half to a quarter of what an attorney will normally charge.

[Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes] Don't be ridiculous, who held a gun to your head and forced you to become a cop? If you keep going on I might shed a tear! Ha, ha, ha. Not in this life'

I tend to think being a real estate whore would be someone who, after they sold the house, they keep their sign up. Hang up a just sold sign, tell everyone they sold the house, send out mail flyers telling everyone you sold the house and putting your damn picture (why?) on every card you hand out. Get over yourselves. You’re one step above an ambulance chaser. And of course some folks will say "Hey my ambulance chaser did right by me". I like when they send you all the advertising asking you to sell your house.

Realtors will boycott a property that pays less than a full commission.  I've always thought that there should be a sliding scale for commissions such as 6% for the first $500,000, 5% for the next $500,000, 4% for that portion over a million, etc.  I bought my house FSBO.  It was just chance that I saw the sign out front when I was riding around with a realtor looking at nearby properties.  I went back the next day since my realtor tried to ignore its existence.  Had she known, she probably would have tried to sue and extort some cash out of the closing.  Unfortunately, real estate is a whore’s business. 

Just a reminder about tomorrow's Memorial Day ride. It starts at IHOP in KW at 9am.  Big Coppitt cemetery by 9:30, and then up to Coconuts for a break. Ends up across 7 mile bridge, with lunch afterwards for any who are interested. See you along the way!
Bulletin Board

[I sold Real Estate in Key West for many years] Did you ever have a real job? Something that produced food, tools, shelter or cleaned something? I would love to see a world wide wave of "For Sale By Owner" and the downfall of the Real Estate tyrants.

Florida TaxWatch says its "turkey report spotlights legislative projects placed in the budget without proper opportunity for public review and debate; which circumvent lawfully established procedures; or which non-competitively benefit a very limited special interest or local area of the state."

How did they miss the Pigeon Key bridge project?

In order to exploit Hip Hop Week at South Beach, Channel 6 TV has all black hosts this morning.

Antillean Nighthawk] There is a house going up on that lot, too. I will miss the kee-kee and the whoosh they make.  Maybe they will move to the breakwater.

[Politicians should wear jackets like NASCAR drivers so you can see who their sponsors are.] Outstanding idea. I’d be most interested in Mayor DiGennaro and McCoy’s jackets.

Just think if all the workers stuck together like the realtors and held out for a living wage we wouldn't hear anymore talk about affordable housing.

[Habitat for Humanity in Venture Out] If you think this is bad, just wait until Cay Clubs club you to death for your properties and start their holy roller roll to take over the Keys!

If you really want to know what it’s like living in Baghdad these series of videos will give you some idea.

[So, it’s ok if someone calls the President an idiot or a moron, but when someone calls them the same thing you don’t publish it? Is the editor’s politics showing?] Huh? What? How about setting your Spelling and Grammar tool to "on"?

Julio Avril’s parting gift
to the city of KW was to give his bubbas big raises without telling the city commission.

The reason realtors will not lower their rates is because they have lined their pockets so much pre-Wilma that they are, for the most part living on easy street.  A vast majority of them own two or more houses here and in other locations.  What they fail to realize is that if they dropped 1% on a $500,000 house, it only equates to $5000.  Oh, that sounds like a lot of money? But what is the first thing they tell you when you sell your house?  The cheapest house on the block sells first, insinuating that you must drop 5-10 k to sell it.  They are like any other salesmen whether it be for vacuum cleaners or cars, (and some of them here double up as car salesmen) they  use their gift of gab or bullshit to their advantage, constantly changing their stories until it ends up in a sale.

The last time I checked, I could have sworn Madam Crown Royal was the first to snooze! I remember getting her home safe and sound a few times.(Hee, hee, I had to rag on you)As for decent guys, they probably have day jobs. I only get out once a week because of that darn leash.

[57 The Hungarian] September arrived, and the leaves started to turn. The school year started and I was in the seventh grade. I still had the 'Crypt Fugitive' for Russian language, and Mr. Farago for Hungarian language, I was glad of that. Earlier during the summer, about early July, I met this boy just by chance. I was out and about in the city park near a soccer pitch. A group of boys were organizing a game and asked me to play. I was never a good soccer player so they put me to play rear guard. Our goalie had a pronounced limp, but he played with much enthusiasm. Our side lost three to one. I wasn't a good rear guard. After the game I asked the goalie, "Hey, how come you're limping so bad?" He answered in a nonchalant manner, "Because I got a wooden leg." And to prove it he knocked on it. He was rolling himself a cigarette from a piece of newspaper and some cigarette butts. I was curious how could a young boy like him lose one of his legs? He was older than I was but by not much. "How did it happen?" I asked.  "How what happen?" he answered. "Your leg, how did you loose your leg? Sorry, I really am sorry. My name is Imre, Baka Imre."  He replied friendly enough, "Hello, mine is Jani, Molnár Jani, but everyone calls me Wooden leg Jani. You can too."
He shook his head so that his longish sandy hair wouldn't hang in his eyes, "So what happened?"
The Hungarian

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Sunday May 27, 2007


Saturday May 26, 2007

I see the new topic is Real Estate Agents lowering themselves at a lower commission.  I sold Real Estate in Key West for many years and in West Palm Beach before that.  When I was asked to reduce my commission my answer was: "What part of my quality customer service do you want me to reduce when marketing your property?"  There are many Agents and Brokers who will lower themselves all over the country.  Think of Realtors as a sports team.  Do you want the NFL marketing your foot ball or a Semi-Pro League working for you?  These Agents who lower themselves do so because they aren't capable of making it in the big leagues.  I live in Ramrod Key and there are several houses listed by one woman.  She looks good to the tourist driving by because her name is all over, but those of us who live here see the houses haven't sold and her same red and blue sign is there with "For Sale" on them.  She is the 4% queen.  Many other Realtors' signs don't stay up long and very soon say "SOLD" on them.  Much to your surprise, those were 6% or even 7% listings.  Quality service costs money.  It takes more than putting a house on the MLS and talking about it in the Tiki Bar to make a sale.  More so in a soft market.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

should wear jackets like NASCAR drivers so you can see who their sponsors are.

I want to protest the five sites for Habitat for Humanity in Venture Out. They should not allow them to build low income housing in a resort community. It will only bring in crime and more riff raff!
I am thrilled to see someone like Jim Scholl in public office in Key West. We really need to get away from the old corrupt Bubba system we have always had to deal with. Jim Scholl is a respectable retired US Navy Captain, the US Navy does not allow just anyone to hold the rank of Captain. Unlike the Coast Guard licensing, you have to do a little more than pay a fee and get the answers to a test. I know 80% of Key Westers have been called Captain at one time or another, but a US Navy Captain is much more and should be given all the respect due that rank.
Ron Paul on Iraq and war powers. Below is something else I received from my New England internet pen pal quoting Texas U.S. Representative and Republican Presidential Candidate Ron Paul. (Ron Paul's Texas Straight Talk - This piece seems pretty much on target to me about Iraq, and I still would like to see a quote where Ron Paul says, "If elected President, as Commander-in Chief of America's armed forces, I will bring our troops home from both Iraq and Afghanistan immediately. Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

It appears that loads of real estate salespeople read this site.

How a man hires a woman.

So, it’s ok if someone calls the President of the United States an idiot or a moron, but when someone calls them the same thing you don’t publish it? Is the editor’s politics showing?

There can be no courage unless you are scared.    –Eddie Rickenbacker

I know of a Hefner Bunny on BPK and she used to run Island Jim's.

Fire trucks could draw salt water from canals if they could get close enough, 15 or 20 feet, but it is pretty unlikely that many fires down here offer that option. It also requires the use of a hard suction 10 inch hose, and normally only one is carried on each pumper. They would probably need 2,  but theoretically, it's possible.

[Fire department using salt water] Salt water would ruin the engine’s pump.  Don't think they will use the water in your canal.

No nursing home for me! Video

Car Show Pepsi Street Motion

Regarding the Lower Keys Marsh Rabbit -- a.k.a. the Hefner Bunny -- research by legendary biologist Dr. James "Skip" Lazell was funded by the Playboy Foundation, leading to the rabbit's designation as a separate sub-species, with the appellation "hefnerii"

[Good realtors are worth the six percent that they charge to sell your home] This is pure BS! 6% of a $1,000,000 home is $60,000. For doing what really amounts to a few days work. It is a racket. Any good real estate attorney will do the same thing for less than $1000 to $4000. The MLS is a scam too.

[I didn’t know anybody fished with a rifle]That's for when you're bank fishing and they come up after you.

[Jim Scholl. I believe this non-bubba to be non-corruptible and I hope he is the tip of the spear for a new awakening in Key West.]  I hope not only in KW but in all the Keys. People have to wake up to today's invasion of whores, who would put us out in the street, take our properties and build another Boca. You have to stand up and be counted or lose everything, and the time is getting close!

Does anyone know what happened Thursday evening with the car and motorcycle accident on BPK? Was there anyone killed? It sure looked bad, the bike and car were all tore up.

Saturday I'll be listening to Terry Cassidy before I go on vacation. He’ll be playing all my favorite songs. Accompanying Terry will be MT Miller with his special brand of country. It’ll be a heck of a show from 7-11 at the Key Deer Bar & Grill. Come and say bye to the Capt. and I'll see you in the fall.

Face it, there are 28.5 horny guys to every female in the Keys, and half of those females do not walk up right. As for chicks looking for decent guys, Ha! It ain't easy living in paradise when your date barks!

Just because someone charges less than 6% to sell a house doesn’t mean they are "whoring" themselves out. All the realtors got a mistaken sense of their value when the market was easy. Everyone was a genius and making lots of money. Now it’s tight, prices have dropped but those that won’t take less look down on those that will, which is wrong. There is no law saying you can’t negotiate commissions and the smart home seller will shop for someone that will. After all, the MLS has all the listings, not just those that take 6% or higher.

The little boy spotted the pretty pile of colored sand on the floor of the vast hall in Kansas City. Slipping under a protective rope, he danced all over the sand, ruining the carefully crafted picture. Never mind that it was the creation of eight Tibetan monks  who had spent two days cross-legged on the floor of Union Station, meticulously pouring the sand into an intricate design as an expression of their Buddhist faith. They were more than halfway done with the design, called a mandala, on Tuesday when they ended their work for the day and left. The little boy showed up sometime later with his mother, who was taking a package to a post office in the hall.

A security tape shows the boy's mother returning to the mandala, grabbing her son by the arm and walking out of camera range.

Things I like: Walking outside and seeing the sun, the sand, the water and getting a freaking life!

I see everybody has forgotten about the "Route 1 Beautification scam" and why it was a con game to set president for developers and politicos to see what they could get away with, while over throwing the locals and stealing their properties. I call it the "Three Beer Short Term Memory Disease".  If it is not continuous bar talk, it is forgotten about, after three beers!

I have met many Realtors in my life. I recently had occasion to cross paths with a young lady named Elaine Coyle who has just started her own Realty Co. called Tropical Properties.  I must say that I was very impressed with her body of knowledge and creative financing prowess.  Whether she can list for less than 6%, I do not know.  But I can tell you that she will market your property with zeal and offer potential buyers financial motivators that you don't see every day.  I would recommend you give her a call, if only for the experience of talking to a thinking woman.  What a treat! 

Come join the Moondogs tonight (Saturday) at the Looe Key Tiki Hut for fun and dancing. Dogs, bring your owners along for a tail waggin' good time!

[Realtors] Why the hell should they get 6% of the gross sale of your house?  Any loser can take the real estate course and get a license.  They are all around us.  They are "captains", bored housewives, ex business owners, etc.  You don't even need a high school diploma! They have a monopoly on the market though, so if you want to sell your house you have to use them.  The realtor doesn't sell your house; your house sells your house. The multiple-listing sells your house.  Most home buyers know what they are looking for. I know I do! Don't get me started.

Until someone has walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, they should not bitch.  Everyone knows there are more dangerous jobs than that of a Police Officer.  But are the workers of those other jobs constantly under public scrutiny both on and off the job?  Are their families constantly under scrutiny?  Is the threat of a lawsuit always hanging over their heads?  Until you know what years of this stress can do to you, you are not qualified to pass judgment or ask stupid questions. 

All general statements are false, except this one!

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

Antillean Nighthawks are back!  And we have a nesting pair on a vacant lot in Eden Pines, right on the ground.  I didn't want to get too close, but with my binoculars I saw an egg. My bird books say they usually have 2 eggs. The bad news is that there is a new house going up next door. I'll keep you posted.

[Can't find anyone decent] Thanks for the offer, but I am 51 yrs old have a 9 year old son. Now that baseball season is over I am off to swim team.  Wishing you the best of luck in finding someone. As no one should be alone.

One picture
is worth a thousand words.

Every year First State Bank W/D on Big Pine did a beautiful tribute for Memorial Day.  What happen this year?

[fire trucks could use saltwater] I’m not sure if it is all fire trucks, but when I was a member of BPKVFD more years ago than I care to remember, the fire truck we had could draft water from a canal. You have to make sure the truck pumping system is completely flushed with fresh water and don't let the suction hose suck sediment from the canal bottom. 

I remember one time we got a call of a sinking sailboat at Sea Camp and we used the drafting hose to expel the water from the boat so it could be lifted out of the water.

[list your house with a realtor that only charges 4% commission you get what you pay for] That’s the funniest damn BS I’ve read in a while. Why not say "If you pay a realtor only 4% you saved money in an over priced market"? I guess realtors all send their kids to Ivy League schools because if they didn’t their kids would get what they pay for. Too funny. How pompous.

fished with a rifle]
Dynamite is much more effective.

[56 The Hungarian] I remembered Pista had been learning English ever since I’d known him so he could help me read the instructions. I was so excited that I forgot about being hungry. I asked mom, "Can Pista come down and help me set up the train?" "Not now dear, you better wait until tomorrow for that. This is your Christmas present. The only reason you received it now is because we couldn't hide it anywhere where you wouldn't find it. So, put it in your room for now, and you can show it off to your friends tomorrow. I knew this was going to be a long night.

After dinner I took my train box to my room and put it under my bed. I went to bed, but after a few minutes I leaned out of bed and pulled out the box. I still didn't want to believe that it was here. I was afraid that when I woke in the morning all that happened this afternoon would just be a dream. I pulled the locomotive out of the box and put it in the bed next to me. Steve showed up and wanted a train to sleep with too; he wanted the red one with the little house on it. No matter what kind of argument I put forth he would not relent. I gave him the red car with the little house. He ran to bed happy as a lark. I was older but no different, the engine in my hand was a source of comfort.
The Hungarian

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Saturday May 26, 2007


Friday May 25, 2007

Someone asked, in an earlier post, if the fire trucks could use saltwater for putting out fires. I never saw a straight yes or no answer. My point in asking is, if my house catches fire will the fire department pump water out of the canal in my back yard to put out the fire? Or will they pack up and go home when they run out of fresh water? I read that a house or houses on Conch Key burned down because of some kind of problem getting water.

Thanks for correcting the ill-informed poster about the new KW city manager, Captain Jim Scholl.  I believe this non-bubba to be non-corruptible and I hope he is the tip of the spear for a new awakening in Key West. Maybe this trend will spill over to the county as well.  Perhaps the retired Coasty will run for county mayor or commissioner and break up the "gang."

[single in the keys. Can’t find anyone decent, etc] Here’s my dilemma: finding someone that can hang till 1-3am with a Royal Crown drinker. I mean, damn, it is not even midnight and my roommate is out for the count. This is a re-occurrence as the guys I have “dated” seem to have to “get some sleep” before midnight. What is up with that? Just for the record, I am past my 20s so it’s not like it can be regarded as a‘kid thing. Should I give up on the 30s crowd and rob the cradle? Seriously!  Where are the true partiers?

[looking for a good realtor who will charge less than 6% commission]  There are none.  If they were a good realtor they wouldn't take a listing under 6%.  You get what you pay for and you pay for what you get.  Would you hire a discount doctor to operate on your heart?  There are many realtors who will charge 5% and some will even lower themselves to charge 4%, but look at how long their listings stay on the market.  If a realtor isn't capable of negotiating his or her own salary with you how good will they be at negotiating the sale of your house?  There are thousands of houses listed right now and buyers are very rare.  Why put your house at more of a disadvantage by hiring an inferior realtor?  Two words for you and the same two words apply to the realtors whoring themselves out for less than 6%:  Smarten up.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End Video Game Site

[Good realtor] Is that what makes a good one, charging less than 6%?  We paid 9% and are real happy with our purchase. Thank you.

[Coming out insurance] I remember when coming out was a function of society girls at their first formal dance.
[exception for firearms is while hunting and fishing] I didn’t know anybody fished with a rifle!

[humor drought]
These are terrible times. It’s hard to look at the bright side. I wish things would change for the better.

[Keys marsh rabbit] I remember it being called the Hefner bunny.

I’d like to discuss soap. What is the difference between soap and detergent? I know detergent gets out those stubborn laundry problems, but what is the difference? Soap used to be made by boiling horses. How does a horse make me feel like an Irish Spring? We used to use lye soap in the Army, what’s with that? Doesn’t lye dissolve bodies?

What's the confusion with gun laws? You may not openly carry any weapon unless for self-defense (as in use of at the moment. I would not openly carry while fishing from a bridge or on my boat. It’s just not advisable unless you're looking for a felony charge.  They will make it stick.)

Carrying your hunting rifle over your shoulder and walking down any street in the Keys will get you charged with "reckless display".  There ain't nothing to hunt in the Keys except the idiots who seem to think they live in the outback down there.  Key Deer taste terrible and iguanas are best grilled over an open fire.  (I ate it in Honduras, tastes like chicken)

Florida has some of the most liberal gun laws in the nation, embrace them.  Where else can you carry a 9mm, with a double stack clip on your hip and an extra in the cargo pocket of your shorts and not have to advise law enforcement unless asked?

Bill Maher for President!

May 23, 2007, near Woodland Park Co. This little hummingbird was huddled on our metal fence under the deck trying to make it through the snow tonight.  He didn't even move at the flash of the camera.

To the person looking for a professional pet sitter, Call Pampered Paws 305-872-3881, The owner is very professional, reasonable, and she is such a terrific person. 

The Hefner thing
on the Keys Marsh Rabbit is correct.  He funded some of the research that determined it to be a separate species.  That’s why he appears as part of the scientific name of the animal.

Good realtors are worth all of the six percent that they charge to market your home.  Beware of realtors that charge much less than that, as you get what you pay for.  By the way ask around before choosing one, as there are several that are not up to the task.

[Mark Kresser]  Thanks for the heads up.  I was wondering what happened to that pervert.  I remember when I first heard about his molesting girls, I was shocked.  Wasn't the girl a friend of his daughters?  What a horrible man and he is back here on the streets.  Beware is right!

[Fire arms law] You can only hide the firearm under your coat after obtaining a concealed weapons license.  With the same license you can also carry the rifle or shotgun, It just takes a longer coat. 

Does anyone repair TVs on Big Pine? I've got a 32" Toshiba CRT type that's only 3 years old and won't power up. The folks in Key West want two arms and a leg just to come out to look at it and it's too heavy for me to try and take to them without help.  I hate to just trash it without being certain it can't be repaired for a couple of hundred bucks or less. 

I don’t intend to rain on anyone’s parade but if it was Muslims against everyone else that aren’t Muslims there wouldn’t be Muslims killing each other. They would be united. The scary part is the ones that are uniting are the Iranians, whackos and Iraq’s current leader. Nice job Republicans.

I understand. My dad is not at fault for taking him on his motorcycle when he was young. It just crosses his mind; and I try to tell him it is nothing he did. My brother was a wonderful person. Yes he was wild! No doubt about that. He was tougher than most anyone I know. He had an accident. He may or may not have done the correct or proper driving, but he didn't need to die. It may or may not be self-induced completely. But only God knows for now.

I just wanted to let you know in case your son was still young and if it had some meaning. It definitely isn't my dad’s fault that is for sure. You’re right about that. The sad thing is I knew another motorcycle rider who was older and he got cut off by an older lady driving and he has gone to heaven now too. That was about 6 years ago. Just as you say a helmet and protective gear will not save a person.

I just wanted to say how I feel, a few people were very unkind and a bit graphic, a friend emailed this site to my husband and it was very, very upsetting for me. My husband wasn't aware that I read it from his computer till I was hysterical. I have so many feelings towards those people but I am too much of a nice person to say them. I am glad your son is grown and he is doing fine. I do want to say speeding, construction sites and motorcycles are on my highly dislike list and will remain there forever,  right next to mean people!

God Bless all nice people and God help you mean people. If it weren't for the established family of my own and my wonderful parents, I don't know that I could go on with this sorrow ripping at my heart.

Sincerely, The Sister of the Coolest Brother Ever!

[The Romantic Husband]  Husband and wife are in bed together. She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.  She: "Oh, that feels good." His hand moves to her breast. She: "Gee, honey that feels wonderful." His hand moves to her leg. She: "Oh, honey, don't stop." But he stops. She: "Why did you stop?" He: "I found the remote."

The best professional pet sitter in the Keys (maybe the planet!) is Debbie Giamatti of Pampered Paws.  She takes care of all kinds of pets. She is also an excellent dog trainer.  She's the best!

Does anyone know where to get a bumper sticker I have been seeing on cars lately that says the following
: No height density increases in the keys.

[Uh, Mister Deputy?] How about it, are we going to see KWPD cars pulled over for speeding thru the lower keys when off duty? And how bout those tag lights? I got pulled over twice in 24 hrs when mine was out? These are the reasons people do not like you all. It’s the arrogance displayed with the badge and gun.

Dreams last night left me wondering if I'm going to be embracing my female side for a while, maybe become a woman who even runs with the wolves -- "a personality change," I heard at the very end of the dream movies. I don't know whether to be glad or freaked out. Meanwhile, here's some updates on other weird stuff that's been in the hopper lately...
Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

[Mark Kresser] He is on the watchdog website also.

Illegal Immigration Counters - Home Page

It was well into august, I came home from the square with just a little road rash. I’d been racing with Denes and his buddies and headed for the bathroom to was my hands when mom stopped me, "Son, wash your hands in your auntie." That was strange, she always ordered me to bathroom first thing whenever I came home, she said it was because she never knew where I’d been. It kind of reminded me of a stray dog. I asked her, "Can I have a little something to eat before dinner?" "Yes you can, but I want to show you something first." "What, what are you going to show me?" Then Steve butted in, "She's going to show you the package." "You be quiet Istvan." Mom chided.  “Follow me to the living room." Steve didn't follow, he was the first one in there. Our living room had a large table in the middle with six chairs; it doubled as a dining room too. In the corner to the left was an L shaped sectional. In front of the sectional sat the package. It was three feet square and two feet high and wrapped in heavy brown paper and tied around with string. Numerous postal stickers and stamps were on top, and it came from West Germany. My heart skipped a beat, but I throttled back, it can't be, it's almost three more months till Christmas. I went at the strings with my hands but the strings were too strong and I almost cut my hand. Mom came to the rescue with some scissors. I shredded the wrapping paper in seconds, cut the tape on the top of the box and I was in. The Hungarian

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Friday May 25, 2007


Thursday May 24, 2007

[KW City Manager] The new city manager's name is Jim Scholl, not Rick Scholl.  If you can't get the name right, we can guess how accurate the rest of your rambling is.  Capt. Jim Scholl commanded Naval Air Station Key West.  In that capacity, he had no ships under his authority including visiting warships.  Accordingly, ordering a ship to help Rossi's campaign is so blatantly wrong.  Also, Capt Scholl was not in any position to help Rossi win a campaign.  Military people are forbidden to campaign while in uniform.  They aren't allowed to influence junior people to vote for certain candidates.  Scholl would've lost his command if any of that was true.  However, Rossi's "Rick's Bar" is a well established, military friendly nightclub.  A glance at walls with military plaques says it all.  Rossi offers military specials, serves on the Navy League and the Military Affairs Committee.  Every bar and owner on Duval Street should do the same.  It's no wonder military people like to go there.  They feel welcome.  Oh, and if you think Rossi got the military to vote for him, one of the largest military neighborhoods is in the district won by Rossi.  Don't you think residents are going to vote for the candidate that represents them best? 

To be honest, not many military voters are registered to vote in Monroe County.  Most choose to vote in their home states by absentee ballot.  The military likely had little bearing on the election.  The majority of the district did not vote.  Given the several hundred votes cast, losing by 20 votes is a big number when you considered how many votes could've been cast.  Getting back to Scholl, by the way…how many other commissioners selected Scholl as their first choice?  Those who didn't pick him as their first choice selected him as their second choice.  Rather than spread false gossip, at least try to get facts or the man's name right. 

[Mickey Baker former IT Dept head] I met Mickey several months ago in a waiting room at Fisherman's Hospital. It's ironic to me that he's been fired because I distinctly remember thinking "Wow, I'm so glad he's around." He had no reason to care who I was or what I thought, but his excitement was contagious and he seemed so motivated to implement new technology. Sometimes change-makers are hard to get along with. If people in power are insecure, they often work to get rid of the people they ought to value most.

[Rossi's boy, Scholl] Scholl was voted in by a landslide--It wasn't Rossi alone. The bigger question should be why the Mayor cast his number one choice vote for Deetjen, a well-documented racist. That taught me a lot about McPherson's character.

Coming out insurance.

Does anyone know any good realtors down here that charge less than a 6% commission?

To the person looking for a professional pet sitter, try Joe’s Pet Sitting Service 896-2118.  They service Big Pine to Key West.

Another perfect example of a gentle Pit Bull playing with a child. All parents should get a dog like this for little Bubba to play with.

Another “open carry” exception for firearms is while hunting and fishing.

[cougars and leopards are the only large cats that purr]  I though my wife purred when we first got married, but later I realized it was just a bad case of gas.

To statistically determine dangerous occupations:  roofers have the highest workers’ compensation rate in the state except for the people who work high steel.

[can’t find someone decent: Look in the mirror] Your reasoning is a bit flawed. Obviously you haven't looked at many married couples in the Keys.

The Iraqis are angry that we are building such a large embassy in Baghdad. It has been another diplomatic screw up on our part. They have consistently told us they didn’t want that behemoth there and, yet again, we won’t listen to them. We are shoving down their throats the largest embassy in the world capable of sleeping over six hundred people. It’s about the size of the UN building in NYC. It will be a city within a city. When are we going to start winning their hearts and minds? When does that begin?

Bush announced that he has changed our mission in Iraq once again to “Sectarian Security”. He didn’t use the term civil war, but he did imply that our new mission is to aid the warring factions in bringing security to “their” conflict.

Pakistan is the largest supplier of troops for the UN. They have over ten thousand troops stationed around the world. If anyone pisses of Pakistan they could withdraw their support and then who would the UN be able to send to these hot spots? Us? We don’t have that many troops left.

The only advantage I can find in getting old is that when I’m loaded I don’t blurt out stupid stuff anymore.

I am not one of those Americans who care about the “Press 1 for English” debate. I don’t mind pressing 1 and it doesn’t take me very long to do. I do object to Indian tech support though, because when I call for support I’m usually angry or frustrated and I don’t have the patience to put up with foreigner’s peculiar way of thinking and lack of English savvy.

Found a pair of glasses in a brown leather case on Ships Way and Constitution Ave. Call 872-5057
Classified Ads

There seems to be a general “humor drought” all over the www lately.  Everywhere I dredge there's mostly lame stuff.  Imre seems to have the best stories to tell lately.  Thanks!

President Bush is so stupid
, but yet, the democrats blink and give him a bill supporting his Iraq war with no withdrawal deadline.
What does this say for the democrat party when this man can make them look like idiots? Either they are in support of the Iraq war or they’re just too stupid to be in office. Wake up people, if Bush can run circles around you what do you think Giuliani will do?

Ed Koch’s statement and most all statements of how and why we must either leave or stay to win in Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran, and next, Kosovo, Albania are all irrelevant. When are you people going to get it through your thick heads, this is a world war between the Muslims and everybody that is not a Muslim. They have been fighting "outsiders" for 3000 years and now have the arms to fulfill Allah's dream. It will not end until they are the only religion and the only rulers on this rock. There will be no quarter given from these people. Wake up!!

I've heard that the Lower Keys marsh rabbit, properly called sylvilagus palustris hefneri, was named after Hugh Hefner because he
funded some studies of the bunny in the 80's or 90's.  Does anybody know the truth about the Big Pine Playboy bunny? 

How is “winning” in Iraq going to protect us at home? I’d like to understand what the Republicans mean by that warning they keep spouting. Are the Muslims going to be afraid of us because we shoot at them? Could one of you try to explain that to me? From what I've gleaned, the only thing that will make us safe is to kill every Muslim in the world; and that's just not going to happen.

If you had a Mac computer you would have a “cents” key.  It’s Option+c.

Scientists renounce global warming alarmism:  Check out this article:

Here are the links to Florida Laws for FirearmsFla Firearm Laws

So I can hide a gun under my cloths, but I can't carry a hunting rifle, shotgun, or any firearm openly. That makes little sense. I am glad it doesn't effect my 80 pound pull hunting bow, my cross bow, my 8 foot long boar spear, my 3 foot saber, and my baseball bat!  How about my 300 degree Black Belt in all the 45 Martial Arts?  I better sell my Sherman Tank before they pass a law on that too! So much for self defense. The world is turning into nothing but sissies.

[Many readers here are getting tired about the “whiners”]  If people are going to post negative comments they should also think of something positive to say.  Do any of you work with someone who complains all the time?  Negative people will suck the life right out of you.  They are exhausting to listen to.  However, this website is known as Kudos and Whiners.

[Jimmy Carter] I Like him and his brother Billy. I still have to laugh when I think back at the interview when Billy said, "My brother used to drink his whiskey out of the bottle just like I do.

Mark Kresser pled guilty in a court of law in 2004 to sexual molestation of 2 girls under the age of 12. He was recently released and is a registered sexual child predator. When you drive down Wilder Street towards No Name and come to the first stop sign turn right onto Winifred Street, he lives in the first house on the left. Protect your children. Beware!

Why are people upset that the Iraqi government is going to take a nice refreshing two months off? We will fight for them because if you’re an Iraqi freedom is free. Working an entire year on building your country is hard work. Relax Iraqis, our sons and daughters will even grill your burgers for you. They are Bush’s stepin-fetchit troops.

[Carter family] There is a good example of God taking care of children, drunks, and stupid people.

[George W. Bush hearing voices?] During the night of May 21 I was strongly told in dreams to do everything I could to get George W. Bush un-elected. So on that morning I wrote something that seemed to me to be in keeping with the orders I'd been given. Basically, it was what seemed to me to be a strong argument that President Bush needs to be impeached for his and our country's sake, because he is hearing voices he says are God's voice, which are telling him to wage war, which is the same thing Osama bin Laden is saying he is hearing. I said any psychiatrist consulted would admit that he or she had put people away for their and society's own good, who were hearing voices telling them to injure themselves or other people, and as insanity is a ground for impeachment, the House and Senate should impeach President Bush. I did not publish that email, because I wanted to wait and see what heaven might have to say about it . . .Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

[Mile Marker 24 Band] We woke up to a rainy day in the Keys today but now the sky is starting to turn that familiar blue that is so common here. We are getting to head out in just a few minutes on the start of our summer tour, but I have to sit on my porch and stare at the ocean for just a few more minutes. We are very excited about seeing old and new friends on the road. Our first stop will be in Chattanooga, Tenn.

Bill Maher
explains where the Bush administration is getting much of their staff. watch video
[54 The Hungarian] The house next door to us where Russian officers were billeted was managed by a Hungarian man. An ass kisser for sure, but the officers recommended that he should get an all expenses paid two week vacation in Moscow. He had two sons, the older one Ede, I went to school with, the boys couldn’t go. Ede's grand mother was recruited to look after the boys and his old man found someone to manage the house. The day of departure arrived and they boarded a train for Moscow. The train ride was a day and a half. When they returned they were so overwhelmed by the experience that they became complete boars. These people have never been more than sixty miles from Budapest in any direction. They’d grab anyone willing to listen and tell them all about it. Ede's mom came over for a visit and bent my mother's ear for hours. The bad part was that she kept repeating herself. How they stood in line at Lenin’s tomb, the magnificence of St. Basil’s Basilica, and the might of the Kremlin. I heard it all twenty times. Ede told me that his dad brought him a present, a train set. Ede was so proud when he brought out the box that I too was anxious. First we put the tracks together so they formed a six foot circle, then he took out the engine and the other cars and hooked them all together. The Hungarian

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Thursday May 24, 2007


Wednesday May 23, 2007

[Gossip of the day] It looks like Mark Rossi’s man, Rick Scholl, former Navy Commander at Key West is going to be the next city manager of that city. Rumor has it that Commander Scholl scheduled one of his ships to return to Key West on election day in order to support Rossi's campaign. Rumor also has it that the crew of that ship was entertained at candidate Rossi’s bar. Mayor Rossi beat his opponent, George Halloran for the position of city commissioner by a very narrow margin; something like twenty votes or so. Well, at least Rossi and Scholl will work well together. I hate politics.

Don’t you just love it? Jimmy Carter calls the Bush administration the “worst in history, both internationally and at home”.

This from the international genius who presided over the fall of Iran, the taking, holding, and torturing of American hostages for over a year.  Domestically, he was the architect of 12% inflation rates, 18% interest rates, and 14% unemployment rates, not to mention the attack by the killer rabbit.

[Motorcycle Dad] I feel very sorry for you at the loss of your beloved brother, but I must say that it was a self-induced tragedy. It was not your dad’s because he took him for a ride when he was a kid. The 3 year old that I took for a ride is now 43 years old and is an avid motorcycle rider. He has been riding ever since he could pull in the clutch lever. The advice I gave my son was, "If you want to go fast get on the race track." He had accidents with cars, it was always the cars fault, and thank God he wasn't injured. He was duly compensated for his expenses. I too have been riding a very long time and still do.  Speed kills and the best helmet or other riding gear is not going to save your life if you center punch a car, truck or wall. My philosophy is, “I’d rather be late for heaven, then to arrive in hell on time.

window tinted]
Damn, now it's window tinting. This used to be a fun little site. Lately I feel like I’m in a grade school classroom when I read it. Teacher, oh, teacher, Jane stole my milk money.

The Spanish American War, the war that made us a world power, only lasted for three months!

It’s not too often that I agree with Ed Koch, but this time I 'm 200% in agreement.

Massive Keys Realtor Fraud?

Dear Mayors McPherson and DiGennaro:
Yesterday, I had lunch with Key West City Commission candidate Todd German and Florida Attorney and Realtor Michael Browning. Michael has extensive successful experience investing in Key West and St. Petersburg real estate. Some years ago Michael started Key West Bank, purchased Roy's Trailer Park on Stock Island, and acquired interest in Atlantic Shores, which just recently sold for a pretty good price. Michael was featured in the most recent issue of Key West Magazine .
Michael said Keys Realtors and home sellers are acting as if Wilma never happened. That is, there is no discussion of Wilma-damage with prospective home buyers. Michael said Realtors' and home sellers' silence about Wilma's effect on Keys' homes is fraud, and I agreed. By law, real estate brokers/agents and real estate sellers are required to disclose this kind of information to prospective home buyers . . .
Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

I learned that cougars and leopards are the only large cats that purr. I got that info from the Sunday funnies, I hope it's true.

[Habitat for Humanity offers classes on hurricane preparedness] In order for families to qualify to purchase Habitat for Humanity homes, they must attend mandatory classes on topics related to owning and maintaining a home.  The information provided in these classes is very valuable and can benefit anyone who lives in the Keys, so Habitat has decided to open the classes to the general public for a nominal fee.

The first session is on a very timely topic:  “Preparing for Hurricane Season 2007,” taught by Habitat's Construction Coordinator, Curt Kniffin.  Kniffin has been a member of the Southern Baptist Convention Disaster Relief Services since 1998 and has traveled throughout the US helping various groups during recovery efforts.

The public may attend one of two classes:  Saturday, June 2 from 10 am - noon at the Habitat office on Big Pine Key or Wed., June 6 from 6:30 - 8:30 at Peace Covenant Presbyterian Church on Flagler Ave. in Key West.  The fee is $10 per person.  Please call 305-872-4456, ext. 112 to register using VISA/MC. Bulletin Board

It took Castro six years to get rid of Batista. It’ll probably take as long for the Iraqis to get rid of the US.

Bumper Sticker for Democrats: Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Hand basket?

[At least one Democrat gets it] Ed Koch doesn’t get it about Iraq. He thinks if we win there, terrorism will end. That is Bush’s position too. It’s irrational thinking and demonstrates the lack of understanding Islam’s goals (to put it mildly).

Study found that hamsters recovered from jet lag faster when they took Viagra. Ananova - Viagra 'could help jetlag'

[Deputy]  I'm thinking that you are preaching to a deaf choir. The most ridiculous comment so far was the one about cops actually taking almost an hour for lunch (like almost all other working people). If I was still there I'd buy you lunch and see if I could make it last as close to 75 minutes as I could. Drive on Deputy, drive on!

Missouri twins Raymon and Richard Miller are unsure who is the father and who is the uncle of a 3-year-old girl even after three years in court. The identical twins revealed they had unknowingly been having sex with the same woman three years ago and, according to the woman, she had sex with both of them at separate times on the same day, ABC News reported Monday.

[Grandma in denial photo] What are you talking about?  Apparently the entire freakin’ family is in denial!

Ok, then, answer this for me: When can we expect to see a blue and white KWPD car or truck pulled over for speeding to and from work? Or when I get off after 13hrs can I drive 65-75 mph home too?

Ananova - Gay flamingos adopt chick

I agree we should be fighting terror. And exactly how many suicide bombs in civilian areas, plane hijackings and attacks on America have Iraqis done before their occupation? Zilch! Pull back our troops who have already succeeded in replacing a dictator, declare that victory and lets get on with being a mobile fighting force instead of a sitting one. That’s this veteran’s opinion. Not that it counts more, but I think my brothers would agree that moving and changing positions gives you elements that sitting in a green zone cannot. We are not training our sons and daughters to be Iraqis police force. And the Iraqi government wants to take a two month vacation. Screw them. They don’t want safety for themselves then they don’t deserve it.

[nothing in detail about openly carrying a firearm, it is a stinking advertisement for a lawyer’s book] Get this in your mind: You can't openly carry a firearm in Florida. Virginia, si, Florida, no! The resource was given because that is the book people are told to purchase in the Concealed Weapons Courses. It's a reference guide for those who can read. 

If you feel the offering of a good resource was "low" research Florida's 790 statutes yourself. I'm sure with your ability to decipher the law, you'll figure it out rather than using a guide written for the general public.

If you'd like to test the open carry law in Florida, walk outside armed and displaying openly. I'm sure you'll meet a Florida Concealed Weapons Permit holder willing to demonstrate Florida's new extended "Castle Doctrine" law.

All these single people that can’t find someone decent. Look in the mirror, maybe it’s you.

[MM24 Band hater] It seems to me that people go for the free margarita and party atmosphere. The folks who can't take Jimmy Buffet tend to stay away.

It seems that many people have had the same or similar experiences with Dell Customer service and non-English speaking representatives.  I had one, or several, myself.  Let's all write to Dell Headquarters and voice our opinions.  They are located in Texas.  If one of us, or I, alone writes to them Dell will laugh it off.  If hundreds or thousands write in saying we are not going to buy another Dell maybe things will change.  One person wrote in a few days ago who said they have a corporate account with Dell.  When that person threatened to take his business somewhere else he got results.  There’s strength in numbers.

Enough is enough with this cop hater crap.  He said his peace.  Now he's resulting to embellished stories.  Like the Deputy, I too support the First Amendment, but there comes a time when someone needs to be cut off.  

Ed Koch’s statement “
prepare to fight terrorism in our homeland” if we leave Iraq now is foolish Bushthink. How will any outcome in Iraq prevent terrorists here? No one will tell me that. If we blew Iraq off the map there would be just as many terrorists, probable more, because then they all would have a valid reason to hate us.

Here's a few jobs much more dangerous then a policeman's. So when you see these people at work thank them for risking their lives for you.
1. Sea going fisherman
2. Coal miners
3. Tractor trailer drivers
4. High-rise window washers
5. Convenience store workers
6. Bridge repair crews
7. Military personnel
Just to name a few.
Who's more likely to get killed on a daily basis? Policemen that can call 10 cars for backup or a tractor trailer driver hauling on Americas interstates all alone?
Thank you American working man. And thank you American law enforcement. We all do the work we love but we don't all ask for thanks.

Don't miss the Moondogs this Friday night at the Key Deer Bar and Grill! The boys will be playing on the outside stage from 7-11pm. The grill will be fired up outside for some great food and, of course, the drinks will be flowing.

Kudos to Big Pine Restaurant.  I had a fish sandwich at Marker 88 a few days ago and yours was much better.

The last people to ever gamble on the Lady Luck casino boat.

[At least one democrat gets it] I doubt if when the sectarian civil war in Iraq is left to them to fight without our input that you will not see any terrorists follow our troops home from there.  You see, there are no terrorists in Iraq who are plotting to blow up New York or whatever.  Only warring different brands of Muslims who hope to dominate the region exist in that civil war. Whether we are there or not makes no difference.  Of course Bush and company have a vested interest in scaring you into thinking his idiotic foreign policy is preventing another attack.  If he really wanted to do that he would have attacked the Saudis or invaded Afghanistan with all we had. We are most vulnerable now with no one left here to defend our country.

If there is any question regarding the open carrying of firearms, refer to Florida Statute 790.053.  It states: It is unlawful for any person to openly carry on or about his or her person any firearm or electric weapon or devise. It goes on to give exemptions, such as law enforcement officers.  However, a concealed weapons permit is not an exemption.  It does not make it legal to openly carry.

[53 The Hungarian] Hungarians, if they really want to piss off their opponent and get them blind mad they insult their mother. The long accepted standard is to call his or her mother a dirty whore, a two bit whore or suggest that she serves as an air mattress for a football team. We tried all the variations on this guard. He was so mad that he was throwing rocks at us, but never even got close. Still in sight of the guard we mounted the top of the wall and walked away. When we got to a spot where the drop wasn't too long and the incline was steep, we jumped and landed on some bushes. If it wasn't for those bushes we would have slid all the way to the bottom where the fence was. The ground here was very steep from the base of the wall to the bottom. I even told Pista, "How would you like to have been the enemy attacking up this slope with all kinds of hurt raining down on you?" "Not me, pal, I sure wouldn't want to be here." The wall above us was brick work and I just noticed that cannon balls were suck in the brick.

I called Pista’s attention to it, "You didn't notice those before? Look you can see four or five of them from here. They were shot there during the siege in 1848." It was evident that they have been there for a very long time. Rust was bleeding from the cannonballs onto the brickwork.

"Hey Pista, You think we could get one of those cannonballs?" "Not unless you have a very long ladder. If you climb to the base of the wall you'll see that they are too high to reach. The reachable ones have been gotten already."

We started our descent on this steep slope again. I started to slide and grabbed for something to stop myself. I grabbed a metallic object sticking out of the ground, something told me to hold on as Pista went sliding by me on his ass. I looked closer at this pipe-like object and moved it back and forth and it came loose. I pulled it all the way out of the ground. It was thicker at the end I grabbed and it wasn't round. It had eight flat sides like an octagon. All of a sudden I got very excited...
The Hungarian

I’m looking for a good professional pet sitter for 2 dogs. One elderly gentleman and one rambunctious retriever. Any suggestions?

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Wednesday May 23, 2007


Tuesday May 22, 2007

[Hurricane shelters or the latest round-and-round amusement park ride] My Response: Are you planning on being safe or just hopping?

It seems as everyone has an opinion instead of a solution. Most might say " No way would I use that shelter."  Maybe, just maybe, if the wonderful place you are currently thinking as being safe is destroyed with waves 12' plus and small objects hitting you at 50 plus MPH (Such as glass and every piece of house material you can think of along with whatever else) even you may reconsider. You may just also reconsider staying alive as being the first and primary concern after some 50,000 people didn't leave the Keys for Wilma, even after watching her pound the Yucatan for 3 days. If that had been the Keys we wouldn't even be here right now.

As to the emergency items one may need after a storm, such as a GPS Locator (that's EPIRB for short) It's listed at the website as are many other life saving devices, some are even included, at no cost, if you care to read. Come to think of it, baking like a ham may be worse than getting stuck like a pig and bleeding to death. Never-the-less dead is still dead, living with a better percentage works for me. But then I even pay for several kinds of insurance, like most people.

But then again, what do I know? I'm just the 240 pound inventor in the Keys. Let’s hear your solution!

I wonder how yesterday’s Texan feels about the fact that Mexican children cross the border to go to school without their parents paying taxes in Texas? Does he feel that their education is worth the extra expense we have to shoulder because an educated society is a better society? I do.

There is a cop who visits a neighbor several times a week; he is in his County patrol car. The neighbor has her car’s front window tinted.  The same tint the kids around the Keys are forever being ticketed for having as being too dark.

Can they explode a nuclear device in America?

[Chick Peas] I spent the summer of 2001 in north Georgia, near Helen. By the evening of 911, my entire situation there had collapsed and I knew I was headed back to Key West...Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

A good ol’ boy once told me that if we knew how much it would cost to pick our own cotton we would have picked it ourselves. I think the same goes for our veggies and yard work. Press 1 for English.

This one got to me folks. I believe, in these difficult and mean-spirited times in which we live, there needs to be a message of hope. We can all use a single image that speaks to us of love, harmony, peace, and joy. An image that suggests the universality of us all. I have been sent that image, and I want to share it with you all.  All I ask that all of you take a moment to reflect on it.

There have been no reports I know of about how Muslims may be offended by classes teaching that homosexual behavior is normal and natural. Several public schools sponsor assemblies in which homosexual and transgender behaviors are natural too. Certainly there have been no front page headlines. Jews and Christians may be offended by such material also but our media is virtually silent about it.

What was that up in Marathon on Sunday? It surely wasn’t a boat race! By the time we went passed the bridge at 12:30, went to Home Depot, bought 8 sheets of plywood, 12 2X4's and came back, it was done, over, finished, by 1:30. An off shore boat race that started at 1:00pm, was over in 30 minutes? People were leaving, cars were moving, and I wondered what was happening. By the time we walked over the bridge we found out. I swear there were more Cubans at that event then any other time I have seen. I'll go to Key West from now on. Maybe the Hyatt wont just "happen" to have the cruise ships in this time so the rest of the public can watch the boats from Mallory Square like it's suppose to be and not having to pay $10 to watch from the Hyatt's deck.

[Deputy] As long as the conversation can remain mature and intelligent, I have no problem answering your questions.  You asked about the cop who was caught with the 14 year old and the cop who led us on a chase in the upper Keys.  No one in this department supports them or their actions.  The child molester is in prison where he belongs.  By the way, Deputies, including me, helped put him there.   The other Deputy put all of our lives in danger when he led us on a high speed chase in his patrol car.  As he should have been, he was fired on the spot and charged, by us, criminally.  As far as Dunkin Donuts, who cares?  Just because I don't eat donuts doesn't mean its wrong for others to do it.  We are human and humans have to eat.

Another individual touched upon my quote of deciding when a crime has been committed.  Thank you for the kind words.  Just to elaborate, my deciding upon the committal of a crime is based on my training and knowledge of the law.  I have a Bachelors degree in Criminal Justice and know criminal law better than most attorneys.  When I decide to take away someone's freedom, I make damn sure it's justified.

[At least one Democrat gets it]  "Because the Democrats are forcing an end to the struggle in Iraq, we must now prepare to fight terrorism in our homeland for the next thirty or more years. This is a war of civilizations. The Islamic terrorists worldwide want to destroy the U.S. and every other Western nation, along with moderate Muslim nations, e.g., Egypt, Jordan, etc. Our very survival as a nation is involved. Will we have the courage and will to do all that will be necessary to prevail? During the Cold War the pols in Washington were mostly united. But now the Democrats are not. There is no safety for the weak and foolish. When you seek to end a war without substantially achieving your essential goals by simply ceasing to fight, it is often a form of surrender. And that's the way the Democrat-imposed outcome in Iraq will be understood around the world, especially by our enemies." ---Democrat former Mayor of New York City Ed Koch

Grandma in denial

[Republican/Democrat/Independent fairy tales] That was by far the best post I have read on this site in a long, long time.

Can we stop bashing the cops now? I can't wait till one of you cop bashers are in trouble and in need of a police officer, your going to sound just like the atheist on an airplane about to crash. They have a job to do and they do it.  Police are supposed to be tough. How much respect would you have for a wimpy police officer? Leave them alone and go on to another subject please.

To the poster from Texas regarding public school education for the children of non tax paying sailboat dwellers in the Keys. Thank you for your response. However, it really didn't answer the question of whether this situation exists in the Florida Keys.  Your response was not news to me, as I was aware that large numbers Mexican children who are not US citizens, cross the border into Texas every day to attend US public schools. These are not "our" children. I fail to see why the tax payers of this country should be saddled with paying for their education. There is a difference between children who are US citizens receiving a free education and children who are not US citizens, or the children of non tax paying illegal immigrants getting a free ride. I hope you can see the difference. Your response was not really relevant to the situation in Keys, but I thank you anyway, all the way from Ohio.

Hurricane Eve
: Reality Check Evacuation, Recovery Wednesday, May 30 7-9:30pm Marathon Government Center
Bulletin Board

I think it's time to stop feeding the cop hater's fix.  His comments are unreasonable and dumb.  The subject has gotten stale.  It’s time to move on.

[The pickings are very slim in the Keys. That’s why I am single] I have to agree with her and I’m a guy and it's why I remain single.

Why don’t they just leave the whales alone? I’m referring to the whales up the Sacramento River. Why does man constantly interfere with natural events?

Sorry Battery boy: The fact that the metal on the white sheet metal was missing all the way around the edge where the aluminum sheet metal met the square tubular aluminum metal is a sure sign of electrolysis.

, the ring of fire.

[cop hater] Kudos to one of our finest. Well said.  Thank you.

The President of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the next Summer Olympics. He said that, "Anyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country."

You're a redneck if:
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is a vice on the work bench
[“Tom Willi fired the county Technology director Mickey Baker over the phone without giving him a reason. The answer is in your comment.   “…. He televised the commission meetings and even made past meetings and parts of meetings easily available on the internet.”] They didn’t want the unwashed masses easily watching Willi and the Gang of Three in action!

Strange news

[ ] You have a lot of nerve putting this post in. It not only says nothing in detail about openly carrying a firearm, but it is a stinking advertisement for a lawyer’s book. This was low and sneaky!

[To the man who took his 3 year old child on his motorcycle] I wanted to let you know I am the sister of the man who was 27 years old who got killed on Roosevelt Blvd one month ago today. My family is in such deep sorrow that everyday I try to find something to help me understand why my brother was taken away from us. The only reason I am writing here is because I want to tell you that my dad (whom I have told not to blame himself) owned a motorcycle and took my brother on it when he was young. My dad wishes he never owned one and never took him on it. Because maybe that horrific day would never have existed. To anyone who wants to say negative things back: please keep it to yourselves. I love my brother and it is very hard for me; so please do not add to the pain.

You’re not going to believe how this guy earns his living. - High Power Job

[Hurricane Shelter] My wife and I still get a good laugh out of that. I told her I should get a job selling those. I could be fishing every day. Ha!

The derogatory comments about people on this website get a little out of hand sometimes.  People like the Sandman or Rabbit deserve the comments because of their actions that they bring  upon themselves.  But to sling insults at people just because of their profession is downright sad.  Two days ago, someone defended his own profession without mudslinging.  And how was he answered?  With more insults.  It amazes me how much hate some people have in their hearts.

The cop worshipers are resorting to insults such as "asshole" when they discuss the cop hater.  He’s making you folks look like morons.  Actually he’s making you look like people who cannot handle the job and have to resort to unnecessary violence. You’re proving his point.

If you don't want to talk to tech people that don't speak English! Buy a Mac. You get what you pay for!

[Cop Hater] I was told that I would be opening Pandora’s box with that post. I am very pleased with the response--pro and con. Everyone including me admired the county deputy's post and I'm sure that with his attitude he would be an asset to any employer in any profession. Like I said before, unfortunately officers like him are far and few in between. A retired officer and I gather from his post that even his dog is a cop, stated: "Risked my life many times" that's part of the hand that is dealt to a cop.” How about airline pilots and truck drivers? Coal mines have the most dangerous jobs; more so than being a cop. I didn't make that up. He also mentioned that two officers were shot in Utah. How many convenience store clerks were shot yesterday all over the country? Thank you all for all the names, although none of them fit me.

I would have never started this post if I lived on BPK. The constabulary would make my life miserable.  You all know the routine: I'm pulled over, you ask, “What's the problem officer?" "You have a broken tail light." And with his stick, smashes my tail light. You think that only happens in the movies? It happens in real life more often. I had a neighbor who was a D.C. cop. He was in the Army and I was a mechanic at the time. He tried to recruit me for the police force. He said to me, "You're stupid for getting dirty and greasy every day, become a cop. You get to stay clean and there are good benefits,
You get to beat up niggers and winos. You just ride around for 8 hours and get paid for it. Needless to say I didn't go for it. Later this Knight in Blue became a White House Policeman. 5 or 6 years later he got in touch with me because he wanted me to manage his gas station/garage in Miami.

That's how I ended up in Florida. This guy was the biggest rip off crook that I have ever run into. Blacks came to the station and asked for him. They give him stacks of credit cards and he’d go in his office and run them. He would brag to me that he made $4000 bucks in 20 minutes. All this time he was a Dade County Deputy. I quit the day he paid me with counterfeit dollars. This is just part of the experience. I will tell you more.

Is there a place in Big Pine where the halos and wings are manufactured for all these angelic cops that posters keep going on about?

I can fully relate to the woman who wrote in saying she was single because the pickings are slim.  I have the same experience as a guy.  I have met very few single women here that would interest me and/or have enough teeth to pass the acceptable point.  It is tough for all of us, men and women alike to be single and straight here. If the woman author, or any sane and single woman is reading this today check out the Personals.  I'm looking for "A Crush" girl here.

[MM24 Band hater] Why would you listen to a band you dislike "twenty or so times"?  I don't get it.

[52 The Hungarian] Pista told me that on Sunday we would go to Buda and try to get on the grounds of the Royal Palace. I was very excited about that and I had visions of finding swords, shields, and maybe a battleaxe. We rode the streetcar over to Buda and only had to walk a short distance to the ruins. It was all uphill and steep too. It was fenced and posted with the usual warnings "DANGER UNEXPLODED ORDINANCE" "DANGER UNSTABLE BUILDING" What buildings? The tallest ruin I saw was only thirty feet high and I didn't want to go there anyway. The fence left a lot to be desired, it wouldn’t keep out an idiot.  Pista pulled up the bottom and I crawled under than I held it up and he did the same. We started climbing up toward the palace wall. The slope was covered with scrub, weeds, and debris. The first thing I found was a German helmet. It looked exactly the same as the one I found on the island but this was in pitiful shape. It was rusted through in several places. I just threw it further down the hill. I spotted a place on the wall where it was breeched by a bomb or a shell and we could climb up. From the top of the wall the vista was very nice. The scrub and the weeds hid all the crap on the slope below. Just inside the wall was a roadway, not very wide and paved with cobblestones. On the other side were the ruins of the palace. Somebody did a thorough job of picking over this place. There wasn't any evidence of anything salvageable. My pipedream of finding swords and battleaxes disappeared like so much smoke. We climbed out of the ruins and walked up the cobbled road to try our luck elsewhere. Pista was in the lead and ducked into a ruin. I was right behind him when he pointed and said, "Look there Imre. See it shine?" The Hungarian

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Tuesday May 22, 2007


Monday May 21, 2007

I haven't been on this site for several months and was told Saturday night by a very pretty local lady that there was a lot of cop bashing going on this site lately. So I thought I would add my two cents. Cops are human not saints. They do the best they can. Some do better than others.  There were several cops killed around the country this week doing their duty. Two were shot today in Idaho. Law enforcement is a duty more than a job. I was a ranking officer on a major metropolitan police dept. I retired after 32 years. I have a son, daughter and son-in-law on the same major department. I am proud of them as well as my own career. I guess they were proud of what I did and they followed in my footsteps. I also worry about my kids because I know about all the screwballs, drug addicts and cop haters out there. Some would like to kill a cop if they could. My daughter, who could pass for a model and has a 4 year old daughter, had to fight over her own gun with a mental subject at a hospital. No one came to her assistance, but she fortunately prevailed. I wonder what would have happened if the male mental case had prevailed.

I know I risked my life more than once trying to save a life. Afterwards I looked back on it and thought damn, I could have been killed and left my wife and kids alone without me. Afterwards I was more concerned about how it would have affected my family than myself. But when you are a cop faced with a critical situation you do what you have to do; often not thinking about yourself till maybe afterwards. There are a lot of brave civilians out there who do brave things too and deserve credit for it, but cops are out there for 20 to 30 years during there careers and there is a very great chance that during their career they will risk their life more than once. It is said that being a cop can often be boring with moments of sheer terror thrown in. The trouble is you never know when the sheer terror is going to occur.

It's always in the back of your mind, though that you could be in that critical situation at any time. It's not only the danger involved in the job that causes cops to suffer from stress more so than in other jobs, it is what they encounter. It's a shame that the cop bashers can't ride along on calls to see what cops have to do and put up with like handling a call where the mother just murdered her 3 toddlers and killed herself; and all were laying in a bloody bathtub. Then you had to wrestle with the father of the children to keep him away from seeing the sight that would stay with him the rest of his life. Unfortunately the sight will always be with the cop. He had to see it. You always remember the murders and suicides where someone blew their own head off or someone else's with a shotgun.  It is not a pretty site. You never forget the accidents where innocent people were mangled to death. Then you have to tell the wife, kids or parents.

Cops are the good guys. They do what they have to do .The great majority are honorable people. There are always a few bad apples in every profession. The police department usually weeds them out before they do damage. The ones that are not weeded out make the news. The good ones don't make the news. They just keep doing their duty protecting you. One thing that makes cops unpopular is enforcing laws and writing tickets. I knew a lot of cops who did not like writing tickets because they know how it felt; and supervisors have to get on them to do that part of the job they don't like. They were not all saints before being cops. I know I wasn't. I didn't like writing tickets, but then it was also a pleasure sometimes when you came across a total asshole.

A lot of those assholes are cop bashers. They have an axe to grind. Oh, by the way, as long as I have been a cop I don't like being followed by one or being pulled over by one, but I know they are doing their job and where would we be without them? They are necessary in a society, otherwise it would be a jungle and only the strongest would rule the jungle.  

PS to the local pretty lady: I hope to see you at the same place and the same time. I hope I didn't act like one of the assholes I just described. But then we are all human even cops.

[Fired County IT boss] Mickey has started a blog telling his side of the story--very enlightening.

I would like to address the Deputy who wrote in yesterday.  Thank you for that mature and enlightening response.  You're a class act.  Haters and supporters have been gong back and forth.  It's nice to hear the opinion of someone actually in the profession.  Unfortunately, it does no good with the haters.  I'm sure you know that, though.

I bought my Proline from Keys Sea Center in 2001, new.  Although there were some problems with some of the administrative folks then, the mechanics, 2 of which are still there (maybe 3)  have kept my boat in great shape over the years. The new owners have turned the place around for the better and constantly provide me with stellar service.  Kudos to all of them. 

[I see the reason you use the word socialist] I believe these are apt definitions:
Capitalism: A greed based monetary system that takes advantage of the inept.
Socialism: A charity based system that takes advantage of intellectualism through lazy breeders.
Marshall Law: A defensive force that guards their existence by plundering.
Communism: A theoretical government in which all men are created equal unless you take kick-back!
Dictatorship: A system run by muscle and fear that changes bosses once a month.
Organized Religion: See all the above!

How to restore a computer to a previous Windows installation after you install Windows Vista.

[No matter how good she looks...]  I saw that sticker on the back of a Veteran’s Jeep and I thought, “That doesn't apply to me, I threw him out:  no job, no teeth, no car, no house, arrogant and mentally abusive.  Like I don't know what I am talking about, and God forbid you tell him he's wrong.” 

The pickings are very slim in the Keys.  That’s why I am single.

[casino boat: nature put it there and sooner or later nature will remove it.] Another Neanderthal on the loose. For god’s sake, doesn't anyone take responsibility for their actions anymore? Find the bloody owners and make them pay for its removal. Get some testicular fortitude back in the country before we are all chicken-shit sissies!

[Local Deputy] Great answer.  Unlike some of the poor misinformed, I appreciate the job you do there and the job our law enforcement officers do here.

[Memorial Day Ride] All bikers meet up and be ready to ride at 9am on Sunday. The IHOP on Roosevelt in KW is where we'll meet. Have a full tank of gas and an empty bladder! We will all have a chance to speak in memory of any one we wish, so think about it and let me or Lynda know if you would like to openly remember someone.

We will ride to lunch after the final stop at the north end of the 7 mile bridge.

Ok, mister Deputy, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is. Every single day between Big Pine and Key West there are several KWPD cars and SUVs driving over 65mph going to and coming from work. Let’s see a couple of them pulled over getting a ticket. And about rogue cops: Was that not a Sherriff’s deputy caught in bed with a minor up Big Pine way? And was that not a deputy that led you on a high speed pursuit into Fla City? Short memory, huh?  And I will get you some pictures of the Police traffic at Dunkin Donuts.

[Battery switch rebuttal]  The electrolysis was from battery acid residue and cables next to the metal the switch was mounted on. (I have examples and pictures, for court, from other batteries.) To short-out the battery switch to the white medal and cause the fire it would have to have shorted-out like positive and negative battery jumper cables touching each other, causing a burn mark and melting metal.  My metal is shiny white metal and there are shiny bolts and nuts on the back of the battery switch. 

Try again.  You might have been here 23 years and seen my boat somehow, but you’re wrong!

I agree with the poster that said, "We, as Americans, should not be divided." He’s right. The problem is that when you have a war going on and over 70% of all Americans want a deadline for the Iraqis to stand on their own, and the President does not listen to his own people, we will stay divided. Bush does not do the will of the people. He does what the voices in his head tell him. Americans no longer run their own country.

[Hurricane shelters or the latest round-and-round amusement park ride] Let’s see, you have a large air filled canister with people in it. Let me get this straight, it floats right? I've seen large walkways imbedded into the marl pop out and float away during the bashing of a storm; let alone a tin can-looking device. I might survive the storm with a little 'YAK(?)" on me, but I didn’t see the Coast Guard approved beacon or distress signal. Will I starve at sea or bake like a ham in the sunny days after I’m washed out to sea in the storm?

[Cop Hater] That was a very intelligent and well written post by the deputy. If there were more like him on police forces all over the world or just all over the country I would not feel the way I do. I can respect a person who is dedicated to his job and does it well. The trouble is that most of the time that is not the case. Those zealots don't get pushed out of the brother hood often enough. Case in point: Montgomery County, Maryland Officer Charlie Lake (whoever lived in that part of the country has heard of this dude)

He was a reincarnate of a Nazi storm trooper if there ever was one. I'm sure that he is retired by now, but this guy committed every police atrocity there is (and was always rinsed clean as a new born babe). Now he lives the life of Riley. I hope he has a serious case of the piles from riding that Hog all those years and is a diabetic from eating all those Dunkin Donuts. Yes, Charley was a sprocket jockey. I only had one incident with him.

I was taking my 3 yr. old son for a ride on my bike (both of us had helmets on). My son was sitting in my lap and for his safety I clipped a GI pistol belt around the both of us. I wasn't going fast when Officer Lake pulled us over. You had to see this guy’s  tight tailored uniform, patent leather boots, belts and holster. Before he sauntered over to me he pulled his nightstick from his bike and stuck it in his belt. “License, registration.” In order to get it out I had to get off my bike and when I did my son came with me. I undid the belt and put him on the sidewalk. I gave my papers to the cop and asked him,” What is the problem?" his reply, "Your passenger’s legs are too short."
I looked at my son on the sidewalk and said half smiling, "What do you mean too short? They both touch the ground." His reply, "Don't give me any shit you son of a bitch, I'll knock the shit out of you." He could do it too, he weighed about 250lbs. He would have done it too if it wasn't a Sunday afternoon with lots of people around.

A high school friend by the name of Boswell, who also became a motor cop, imitated Officer Lake to a T, but Boswell never had much of a personality anyway. What can you do when cops like that become role models for other cops?

What more could a guy want?

[Passion] Here is an email exchange with Cricket Desmarais, local artist, dancer, actress, and I believe, poet, and Editor of SECRET OF SALT: An Indigenous Journal... May 20's Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

[Iraqi FREEdom] The waste just keeps on coming. The Iraqi President Talabani was flown to the United States on a special American Medical plane just so he can lose weight. What a damn shame. I guess he can’t work the fat off and clean up his diet without spending tens of thousands of American tax dollars. Freedom is indeed free if you’re an Iraqi.

There is one thing you can say about the cop hater. I think he’s pulling chains and he sure knows how to get you cop worshipers in a tizzy. He’s making you look foolish. He’s not calling anyone names, yet you guys tell him he’s probably a “criminal” and has “no respect” The worshipers are even calling him names, yet he hasn’t called anyone names. He’s making you look like adolescents. Take the high road and ignore him.

I can't say anything truly negative about the officer's post. You seem to be an intelligent mindful person. Only two statements struck me as unusual. The first quote "But the thought of naive people believing what they read does concern me." I'm glad you have concern for the naive readers on this web site. The second quote "When I decide a crime has been committed" then the person will go to jail. I thought we had laws and if a law is violated then someone gets arrested? There are a few good cops and you seem to be one of them. It appears you understand how to use the least force necessary to accomplish you objective. And you are one cop who believes in a citizen's right to free speech. From my experience not many cops can say that with a strait face. I am glad you are a Monroe County cop and hope you stay. I wish we had more officers of your perceived character. Keep your eyes open for all criminals.

To the person who was wondering if it is true that kids from sailboats attend schools in a county where their parents don't pay property taxes.  Well, what would you think of this news:  There is a speed lane set up on the freeway into El Paso from Mexico just to bring school children into the U.S. to attend school.  There are a lot of children that go to school in the U.S. whose parents don't pay property taxes in the county where they attend school.  But I think that educating our youth is worth it to those that pay property taxes, don't you?  That's my two cents on the subject all the way from Texas.

According to a new State Department report, the number of terrorist attacks in Iraq jumped 91% from 2005 to 2006, many of the attacks planned and executed by al-Qaeda, and several of those attacks using deadly chlorine gas. That's right people: Iraq and al-Qaeda, working together with weapons of mass destruction. Finally Iraq has become the country we thought it was when we invaded.

American flag beach towel]
Is there not a law protecting our Flag from desecration and humiliation by inappropriate use as a freaking rag? We are loosing it very quickly.

The M.M. 24 band needs to go on the road for a long, long time. After watching their Jimmy Buffett wanna-be act twenty or so times a little bit of them goes a long, long way.

How does the small arrow on your computer monitor operate when you move the mouse?  Now, through the miracle of high technology, we can see just how it is done.  With the aid of a screen magnifying lens, you can see the mechanism in action.

Click on the link below. Be patient, the image will take a minute or two to download. When it appears, slowly move your mouse over the light grey circle and it will magnify the operation so you can see how it works.  (Also, try moving the mouse quickly for a period of time and then stop the arrow in the middle of the circle.)

[Dell computer]  Good luck with your HP. I just hope you don't have to call tech support. I tried three times to get help with mine and couldn't understand a damn thing any of them said. I think they are in Bangladesh.

[Concealed Weapons Permit in Florida]  Jeeeeezuz, when does stupid end? You may not openly carry in Florida. If you have any questions go here:   A cool head and even temper can keep handgun carriers out of trouble. You should never carry a gun into a situation where you might get angry. 

Summary 1. Never display a handgun to gain "leverage" in an argument, even if it isn't loaded or you never intend to use it.  2. The amount of force that you use to defend yourself must not be excessive under the circumstances.  Never use deadly force in self-defense unless you are afraid that if you don't, you will be killed or seriously injured. Verbal threats never justify your use of deadly force.  If you think someone has a weapon and will use it unless you kill him, be sure you are right and are not overreacting to the situation.  3. The law permits you to carry a concealed weapon for self-defense. Carrying a concealed weapon does not make you a free-lance policeman or a "good Samaritan." 4. Never carry your concealed weapon into any place where the statute prohibits carrying it. 

This is not a complete summary of all the statutes and court opinions on the use of deadly force. Because the concealed weapons statute specifies that concealed weapons are to be used for lawful self-defense. I have not attempted to summarize the body of law on lawful defense of property. Every self-defense case has its own unique set of facts, and it is unwise to try to predict how a particular case would be decided. It is clear, however, that the law protects people who keep their tempers under control and use deadly force only as a last resort.

[You’d think I’d have learned by now Dept] As we were going to dinner my wife asked if I liked her new dress; and without thinking it through I said, “You look like a beach umbrella.” Dinner would have been much better if I hadn't said that.

[51 The Hungarian] Sarah told me many more things about her imprisonment. The constant hunger, the dirty snitches who informed on you for a slice of bread, and the bears that found prisoners to be easy prey. The folding bed that dad brought was put in the entree to my room. Sometimes she’d tell me stories late into the night.

She soon got a job as a conductor on the public transportation system of the city. Sometimes she worked on a bus, sometimes on a streetcar or a trolley. She always told me about her adventures with unruly passengers or the ones that tried to ride for free. Some of them she had to physically remove, she used her ticket puncher like a set of brass knuckles. I managed to pass my exams and advanced to the next grade. The Crypt Fugitive gave me a D in Russian. I didn’t' expect more from the mummy. The rest of the summer Pista and I explored the nooks and crannies of the city. It was well into the summer when one morning mom sent me to the store. When I returned she checked the items I bought. I’d forgotten one item and without a word she slapped me across the face. I thought that was uncalled for and very unfair. I didn't cry, didn't say anything, I just turned and walked out. I only had on shorts and a shirt and I kept walking until I got to Gramps in Dömsöd. It took me twelve hours to walk thirty miles. I stopped and climbed trees to eat some berries and stopped at houses to get a glass of water. The next day dad came and took me home. In the fall of 1955 my Grandmother, dad's mom passed away...
The Hungarian

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Monday May 21, 2007


Sunday May 20, 2007

I've read this forum with interest for a while but never felt the need to give my two cents.  With all the heartless talk of hating cops lately, I felt I had to bring a few things to light.

I am a Deputy with the Monroe County Sheriff's Office.  Words do not offend me.  But the thought of naive people believing what they read does concern me.   I have been a police officer for ten years.  Never, and I do mean never, have I seen any Deputies in Monroe County use excessive force.  Have I seen over zealous people in uniform who shouldn't be there?  Of course I have.  But those people never last long.  Not only do they become enemies of the public, but also to their fellow officers.  

I have been in numerous fights while in uniform.  But every single one of them was sparked by alcohol influence, drug influence, or the fear of going to jail.  I have a job to do and a community to protect.  When I decide a crime has been committed and it is time for someone to go to jail, I will use the minimum force that is necessary to take that person into custody.  If that person pushes me to the point of having to use pepper spray or a tazer, then so be it.  But that's their decision, not mine.  When the day ends, I'm going home to my beautiful wife and children.

I keep myself in decent shape.  Unlike most people my age, I can still run a couple of miles.  I enjoy coffee every morning.  And the truth is, I really don't remember the last time I ate a donut.  In fact, most cops don't eat them.

When I see reports on TV of dirty or rogue cops elsewhere, I am ashamed of the bad name those very few people give the millions of others like me, who work with integrity and pride.  I knew when I swore an oath to this job that a small group of people would hate me just because of my uniform.  That's fine.  They have that right.  Most likely, I don't agree with their lifestyle.

In the end, I will provide the service expected of me to the rich, poor, homeless, and everyone else in my community who need it.  I will continue to arrest criminals and take the proper action with bad drivers.  Why?  Because that's my job and I'm damn good at it.  I'm sure the cop hater and his counterpart will respond to this will negative remarks.  That's fine.  This is America and I firmly believe in the First Amendment.

[Former technical director of Monroe County] Thanks for the fair and generally true, from my perspective, coverage in your May 19 article. I have worked very hard to prove the value of my salary to the citizens of Monroe County and am proud of the work that the Technical Services team has produced.   I regret that I won't be doing it any more.

The staff of Monroe County Technical Services are, for the most part, to credit for the actual accomplishment of the things you describe and should be congratulated. The GIS databases and (aerial) images are products of George Garrett's GIS group and George's personal tenacity maintaining funding and grant money for this project over the past 15 years.

I enjoy Thanks!
Mickey Baker

[difference between bands that tour and bands that don’t] Touring is difficult and gets old pretty fast, especially if you’re on a budget. Many great musicians won’t tour.

[Republican/Democrat/Independent fairy tales] Things I hate: The egomania of dividing this great country into opponents. To bitch and moan about what another political party does or does not do is a simple premise to divide and conquer. We the People are all citizens who live in America, who have to live together, not in anguish, but to survive. Especially today, with those invaders coming from all directions who could care less for the American way of life. We must stick together or die trying or we will be no better than most countries in turmoil.

[Mickey Baker] I guess his biggest problem was actually doing something; unheard of in Monroe County Government.

[difference between bands that tour and bands that don’t] Ass mileage!

[Break into any home] Lock bumping it's the latest rage, Now we have to lock our locks.

I think most of us are tired of term Political Correctness.  It’s time for the term to be defined so we can all understand how far we have carried this nonsense.

"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by delusional, illogical liberals, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end."

I have owned a few Dell computers and I will give them the credit they are due.  Dell is a great computer, but I will never buy another.  I have had the same problem with customer service located in India and the lack of English.  What I find puzzling is that when you call the sales department to buy something and give them money you speak with an English speaking American right in the good old USA.  I have switched to HP now.  Any American company who hires grown men that wear bath robes on their head will never get a dime of my hard earned American money.  I wonder if the American flag flying in front of Dell's corporate headquarters was sewn in Iraq.

Sea Center is where I go. They have always done a great job on our boat. They keep it dependable.

Goodbye brother
, I am glad you made it down here to Paradise before you made your final journey and I hope you took a piece of it with you to the other side.  I love and miss you much.  Thanks for the free chum!

[Cops rarely get 4-5 minutes to eat their lunch] I always feel so safe in the Village Cafe in Marathon with all those cops with guns on. They are usually there the whole time I am; and I usually take a 45 minute to an hour lunch.

To the person that left the American flag beach towel on my mailbox, please know how much it touched me. All that I can ask is for your prayers for those still serving in harms way overseas today.  Thank you.

[My two cents on the cop thing] While it is nice that they do dangerous things during the course of their day--that is what they are suppose to do.  They know what kind of work the job entails before they apply for the job. Why should we have to thank them every time they do things that they are being paid to do? There is a lot of dangerous jobs out there and no one thanks the worker. When was the last time you thanked a window washer? People are not "cop haters'", they just do not like the unfairness of things. If I speed down a road and happen to know the cop or have one of their cards, I will not get a ticket.  That is not right. I think a lot of bad feelings towards cops would stop if they figured out a way stop things like that. No one is supposed to be above the law, but that is so not the case in this country. When I need the police I will call them because they are getting paid with my tax dollar to do the job. That is all, nothing personal.

How come there is no “centssymbol key on my keyboard?

I see the reason you use the word socialist. It’s because you’re not sure of the meaning. If you looked it up in the dictionary you would find that socialist governments own and control the vast majority of their country’s major business. You won’t find one liberal that wants that. Again it’s a Republican fairy tale. And let’s be honest for a second. The last 6 years of Conservative government has been the proof in the pudding of financial irresponsibility and government waste. It’s not a liberal President who is in office, it’s a conservative. I don’t think we should be spending billions and billions in Iraq to be monitors for their religious war. You don’t think those bills will ever need to be paid? I guess it’s just a matter of not paying your own debt. Let’s let our future generations pay it for us. I like that.

To the man on Coconut Palm that was running his damn chainsaw at 8 AM Saturday morning: YOU SUCK! And doing it under your house for the echo effect was low class.

I read the Barometer newspaper today; and if I read it correctly it said that if your cat gets caught by mistake in the crossfire you will have to go to the shelter and pay a fee to get it returned to you.  I have a better idea to avoid that ridiculous fee.  If I see a trap set up anywhere in the lots around my house you can pick up your trap in the canal behind my house and I won’t even charge you a fee.  Hopefully I misread the article. If not, it’s only fair I waste some of your money too.  Consider it a family’s cat fee.

30’ Catalina Sailboat, 1976, Tall Rig.
Fair Market Value: $6,000

$4,000 if you can move it before June 1! All proceeds to support FAVOR. Details

[needed a cop in a hurry] Back in those days if you saw a deputy on Big Pine, either a prisoner was on the loose or someone had died.

[Cop Hater] You have to love this latest post, a real pile of intelligence at work here.

[concealed weapon license, and it is just a license to carry, not a license to use it] What is a "license to use it"? Unless the laws have changed, you can carry a gun exposed in a holster as long as it is not covered and it is clearly visible. A concealed weapon is a catch 22. A sharp pencil can and has been declared lethal in some circumstances. If they want to bust you they will no matter what the laws say. Best is not to be in a situation or place that warrants carrying any weapons, which today, is almost imposable. God save the Constitution and our freedoms! 

[“What is the difference between bands that tour and bands that don’t?”]  Talent!

Did any of you buy one of those portable hurricane shelters?  Please post your name here for our dumbass of the year award.  The prize is a cemetery plot in Key West.

[Tom Willi fired Technology director Mickey Baker]  It seems as though all those who help the people get the axe. I guess high end politicos always play with their willies!

I invite the cop hater to keep posting.  The more he writes, the more he sounds like a mental case, and the more it confirms our need for cops

[cop hater] The answer to your question is simple:  Yes, you are labeled a mental case.  Anyone who labels a whole profession (any profession) and especially every one in that service profession is definitely in need of professional help.  Before you ask, no, I am not a cop nor have I often needed their help and, Yes, I too think that a few of them have handed me a raw deal.  But unless you are willing to serve in as noble a capacity you should just shut the hell up and squirm back under your rock. 

Less we forget, the Developers are coming, the Developers are coming!  The end is near! Video

[casino boat] Nature put it there and sooner or later nature will remove it.

Between the fields where the flag is planted, there are 9+ miles of flower fields that go all the way to the ocean. The flowers are grown by seed companies. It's a beautiful place, close to Vandenberg AFB. Check out the dimensions of the flag. The Floral Flag is 740 feet long and 390 feet wide and maintains the proper Flag dimensions. There’s a total of more than 2 million flowers.  It’s on Ocean Ave in Lompoc, CA.

All the best my Anaconda.

I would like to chime in on the Sea Center discussion.  Over the past twenty-three years of living in the area I have never had anything but stellar service from the gang at the Sea Center, both the old owners and the new. Over the years I have purchased two boats and eleven motors, all from them.  I would not refer my friends to any one else for purchases and the dependable service that I have come to expect from the crew. 

I happened to see the boat in question and saw the electrolysis damage that had been going on for some time.  And I do have some expertise in the field.  From what I saw the damage was from an incorrectly grounded battery switch not from incompetent work on the motor.  

(?)Silence is Golden. No more games + Life Is Eternally Sweet

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Sunday May 20, 2007


Saturday May 19, 2007

County administrator Tom Willi fired the county Technology director Mickey Baker over the phone without giving him a reason. Mr Baker has brought the County’s IT department up to date. He put free wireless internet in all the libraries and televised the commission meetings and even made past meetings and parts of meetings easily available on the internet. He was also in the process of digitalizing high resolution aerial photos of the keys that he was going to make available online. In his one year employment Mr. Baker’s has done more than any other past IT director.

[who does the US1 radio auction benefit] The merchants involved. An auction doesn’t have to be for charity. This one’s for publicity.

I was on Tech support with Dell yesterday too. I was lucky that I was routed to a call center in the Philippians. The Philippinos speak a lot better English than the Indians do.

[Cop Hater] What I’d like to know is just because a person has radical views why is that person (the hell with that)…Am I labeled as a mental case? You have not walked in my shoes; you have not experienced what I have experienced. I didn't just wake up one day and decided to hate cops. If someone does that baselessly, that person has a mental problem. I have not killed or hurt a cop! I will not be friends with one, I wouldn’t lift a finger to help one. I have never needed a cop, when you need one they are never around anyway.

A few months ago I attended a weapons handling course. It was three weeks long, rifle, shotgun, and handgun. I passed, cops were the examining judges and I had to go up to the main judge to receive my diploma and sign a document. When my name was called I walked up there chewing gum and wearing my Richard Harrison hat. The cop come unglued, "You do not come up here wearing a hat and chewing gum! Don't you know how to show respect?" I almost laughed, I asked him, " Respect what?  We’re not in a church, you're not my boss, you didn't pay for this course, you’re a cop and you work for me." He said, "I’ve got a good mind not to give you your diploma." My answer was, "Stick your diploma up your ass and give me back my money." He gave me  the diploma.

Cops hold themselves above us, that’s why they go faster that us, use a cell phone while driving, expect a break or discount for services and constantly spout about what a dangerous job they do. The way I see it is if they can't take the heat
 get out of the kitchen.

Dream on.

Lets see, the delivery guy, unlike the waitress, pays $3.29 a gallon for gas, he pays for the wear and tear on his car, he pays his insurance, etc. so 15% to 20% is about right. Me, personally, tip 25% to 50% if American; if not, 10%.Sorry, I do not support immigrants the same as I do my countrymen.

Bubba J
speaks for rednecks.

[Cops rarely get 4-5 minutes to eat their lunch] Now that’s B.S. At least try to be honest.

Carl Hiaasen's piercing Miami Herald article about the South Florida water shortage, deeply disturbed me. I was left feeling that the current sad state of water affairs is as much my, your and every other South Florida environmentalist's doing, as it is the doing of developers and their Chamber of Commerce, Big Sugar and Tallahassee legislature allies. The problem, quite simply, is that we the people want to live in South Florida and the Keys, which simply cannot support us ecologically. The solution is for we the people to vacate the premises, be we green or some other color. Not likely to happen, I grant you, but the pretense of being green and living in South Florida and the Keys needs to be dissolved, and for me personally, that is a painful confession, as is the apparent prospect of living somewhere else...Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

[casino boat]  No, it won't be towed on these high tides. We will need another Wilma to raise the tides that high.

[Sea Center] I bought a new trailer there and had to take it back twice because they set it up wrong. After the second adjustment I was driving up around Islamorada when I looked in the rear view mirror and noticed that my boat was askew. I stopped immediately and found that Sea Center’s mechanics failed to bolt down the support brackets. I was very lucky I avoided a big accident. (I was sorry I gave them a $50 tip.)

The next time I was in the Sea Center I mentioned my near miss to the guy behind the counter and he looked at me like I was an a**hole. -–

[Did the polar ice caps just take a hit]  Yeah, no kidding!  Time to get out of our ground level homes, I think.  (PS: I love the new Telegraphic)

See Venus next to the Crescent Moon on May 19
It will be quite a sight: Don't miss Venus and the crescent moon when they pair up on the evening of May 19.

[The Pizza Guy] I tip $5 more than the cost of delivery and usually 20% at a restaurant. If I ever found out someone did something like that to my food I would be in jail and they would be in the hospital.

Can you tell me what month somebody wrote in about the hypocrisy of environmentalists who have children? It was a good letter. I did a search and can't find it. After I watched this documentary I say never mind about global warming, overpopulation is the worst worry of all.

What is the difference between bands that tour and bands that don’t?

Cops don't bother me.  I’m especially found of the one that I can usually follow to Marathon in the morning at 75 miles per hour.

In Bermuda and the US Virgin Islands cisterns are a code-required part of every new home. The Texas manual of Rainwater Harvesting at:

Remember when if you needed a cop in a hurry in the Big Pine area you had to call Jack Watson because the closest sheriff was in Marathon or Key West? Ahh, for the good old days.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.

[kid that killed Adam Arnold was only 17] And your point is…? He hit the boy and ran; and when the cops caught up to him Adam’s glasses were still stuck in his car grill.

[immigration bill] I think dumping them back over the fence is a better plan.

[post that lists the good deeds of cops] I have done most of those things. I removed dangerous obstructions from the road. I pulled a man from a burning car on the seven mile bridge. I saved a little girl’s life when she was hit by a van in front of CITGO on Summerland Key.

You don't have to be a cop to do those things; you just have to care. The reason the cops are so busy is because you half-assed Whiners can't do anything for yourselves. "Oh, my light bulb burned out, call 911, the cat is up the tree call 911." You whiner pansies are addicted to cops. I have seen people who ran out of gas and I stopped and gave them some. Once I  ran out of gas on my motorcycle and half a dozen cops went by without giving me the time of day.

I know you whiners will love the cops forever--more power to you. That doesn't mean I have to.

I use the word socialist not communist when referring to the liberal agenda because I realize there are a good many successful capitalists in their ranks. However, due to their love for big gov't and willingness to be taxed to the max to pay for all kinds of social programs that we really don't need, I think socialist best describes them.

[Pizza Tipping]  If you delivery driver has a round face, tip him a lot as he is needy and has a dog that is as big as a horse and eats just as much. If your driver is wearing a hat and plays bass guitar, tip him less because he has a ton of money stashed away and owns his own island.

[Dell Support] Dell tried to do the same thing to it's corporate customers (me) and we all revolted and swore we would take our business elsewhere if they gave us tech support from Bangalore (India). Guess what? I get good old American tech support now. As for the rest of you consumers, I feel your pain.

[Keys Sea Center] We have no way of knowing who is right in the dust up between Sea Center and the angry customer.  However, I do know that I’ve been a customer of Sea Center for many years, Leroy and his crew are the only mechanics who have tended to my boat.  After much shopping around south Florida, I purchased a new E-Tec from Jay and found his price to be very competitive with Dusky Marine in Dania.  I’m a Dusky owner, and Dusky is known for selling Evinrude motors at low prices.  Leroy and his team have never let me down; they have even serviced my boat at my dock.  They have always been competent, quick and courteous.  On the rare occasion when a service item does not perform as it should, they have made sure that I was satisfied with their service and product.  Sea Center sure ain’t cheap, but their service, attitude and product have always been first rate for this customer.

Your dog could be in a Disney movie if you win.
Underdog Super Pet Contest

[50 The Hungarian] The end of the school year was approaching and my concentration on Russian was intense. I wanted the “The Crypt Fugitive” to give me a passing grade. I didn't want to repeat the sixth grade. I had almost resigned myself that I too will become an apprentice of some sort like cousin Joe was. With the low grades that I received in Russian for the past three years my chances of going to high school were nil. It would take a genuine miracle to get things turned around in my favor. So for now all I could do was to study and learn this goddam Russian. It was the last week of the finals and I was at home, being studious, when a knock came on the door. When I opened it I came face to face with a very butch looking woman who was dressed in very coarse military type clothing and heavy brogans. "Yes, can I help you?"

She gave me a wide grin, threw her arms open and practically ran me down while saying, "Imike, don't you remember me? I'm your aunt Sarah.”  I could tell by the way she hugged me that she was strong as an ox. With her face devoid of make up, if it wasn't for her breasts she could pass for a man. She kissed my face all over and repeated over and over how glad she was to see me. She had a very friendly personality and inquired about mom. "She went shoping, should be back shortly.” I said.  “Aunt Sarah, tell me about Siberia." "I will dear, later." Sarah didn’t' have any luggage, just a sack with not much in it. The door bell rang and I said, "That'll be mother." Sarah wanted to open the door so I told her to “go for it.” She opened the door and mom was standing there with two satchels of groceries. On seeing her sister, genuine surprise was on her face. What happened next I was not prepared for.  Mom dropped both satchels and delivered a haymaker of a slap right across Sarah's face! I thought Sarah was going to fall down. I could see she was in a state of shock, but remained standing. I was shocked too. Mom's hand print was visible on Sarah's face. I was looking for a place I could watch the fight from. I wasn't about to get between those two women. Mom stretched her arms out and hugged Sarah and started to cry.  Sarah was crying too, but not because of the slap. I retrieved the satchels and closed the door. There were two grown woman crying in the foyer.
The Hungarian

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Saturday May 19, 2007


Friday May 18, 2007

I'll be glad to answer the question "What has a cop done for you today?"  Today, I saw a cop pull over to pick up a piece of rebar from the middle of the lane at the 19 mile marker.  We all know what could happen if a truck were to kick that up.  Are you willing to stop and run out into speeding traffic?  A couple of days ago a car passed everyone, including me, illegally in the turn lane doing at least 80 mph on Summerland.  On Cudjoe, a cop had that car pulled over.  That guy was probably the cop hater who will contest his ticket and force the cop to explain his actions to a Judge. 

Last week, I saw two cops putting out a car fire with their hand held fire extinguishers.  Are you willing to run into a gasoline fire?  A few months ago my neighbor lost $1,000 to a crooked contractor.  I recently saw that contractor's face in the mug shots with several similar charges.  Do you suggest the victim just ignore this and not report it?  I could go on and on with examples like this.  And while none of these incidents directly affect me, I'm sure none of these cops received a "Thank You" for their service.  They just went about their duties.  Instead they get smeared all over the media because when the fickle audience hears stories of bad cops in other cities they automatically label everyone in uniform as crooked or untrustworthy.  That line of thinking is not only unreasonable--it's border-line stupid. 

I like to get a kiss when I get screwed, but Keys Sea Center in Big Pine Key just screwed me.  I took my pontoon boat to Keys Sea Center to have my and other things checked out on the computer and to have them fix anything and everything that needed to be fixed. I just purchased the boat a couple of months before. I took the boat to Keys Sea Center and they kept it for two weeks or so and I picked it up on April 2. The total was $697.05. I got in the fixed boat and went down the canal and made a right turn. The boat engine ran badly making the right turn, but then ran good straight across to Summerland Key. I made the second right and the one going thru my canal. The engine made some noise only when making turns. I put the boat on the lift at my house. 

For the first time since bringing it home on Sunday I lowered the lift to the water. I went on the boat, turned on the power switch and left the boat to get some stuff from the shed. I smelled smoke and turned around and saw wires on fire on the port side of the engine. The flames were at least 4 inches high. I got the water hose next to the boat and put out the fire. I jumped aboard and turned the battery switch to “off”. I removed the engine cover because there was smoke coming from it too. There were melted wires to the motor lift on the engine and to wires that went to the throttle lever switch. When I took off the air cleaner cover the bottom wire was stuck in the bottom carburetor hole and another melted wire stuck in where the engine cover was put on.

I worked on the boat engine for eight hours in the sun standing on double 2 by 4s from the seawall to the middle pontoon trying to remove the burnt wires to get the engine running to take it back to Keys Sea Center. Finally I managed to get it running. The next day, Monday, I went to take the boat back but when running, the motor zincs started boiling and bubbling; meaning there was a positive shorting to the water.  I called Tow Boat US to tow me to Keys Sea Center. I had to pay 50% more for a dock pick-up which was $173.25. On Thursday, May 3 I went to Keys Sea Center and Leroy and Bryan tried to tell me that the battery switch was mounted on aluminum sheet metal and that caused the problem. They said when the switch was turned on it shorted the battery switch causing the wires to melt and catch fire and that I had to pay $524.80 to get my boat back. 

There was no sign in the back of the battery switch or on the metal it was mounted to. I saw the two wire harnesses, one stuck in the bottom starboard side of the carburetor port hole and the other stuck in the engine cover on the starboard side. I have a 24-foot Omega boat with a 302 engine and Volvo stern drive that I have had for over 20 years. I do all the work on it and I know enough of what caused the problem. I waited until the next day to talk to the owner, Jay, who had just gotten back to town. After meeting him in the morning he first agreed with me; then he said he’d think about it for an hour and then call me. 3 hours later he called me and said I’d have to pay the $524.80 if I wanted my boat back. I paid the $524.80 after which I went down and out thru the canal.  I raised the motor with the trim switch on the throttle when leaving the canal because of the low tide. After planning out, I went to lower the motor but it would not go down. I had to stop the boat and hang upside from the pontoon bed on back of boat to lower the motor with the switch on the portside of the motor.

After doing that I called Keys Sea Center and asked to talk to Jay. When he answered I told him the motor would go up but not go down and his guys did another bad job on my boat--he hung up on me!  After I got home and put the boat on the lift I went and got a 12-pack of beer and started making signs to put on my truck and boat. I filed a law suit and the pretrial is set for July 17,2007  (Captain Bruce Eggett, Summerland Key , Fla.

This is in reply to the person who wants to know about people who need food in the Keys. There are a lot of low income families, elderly, disabled and homeless who reside on Big Pine and neighboring Keys. They may not always be obvious, but they are here.  Sometimes for many it's is a choice between paying bills, rent, filling prescriptions or eating.  Most will choose to leave eating for last. The Big Pine Community Food Pantry was started by Martha Smith and Lucy Renz and has been in existence for about ten years.  The pantry is run mostly on local donations and since it started, by the grace of God, the shelves have never been empty.  We receive the food from the Big Pine and Summerland Post Offices drive each year.  The food collected from the drive sustains the pantry through the summer.  Because we live in such a generous community we also receive cash and food item donations during the year from the churches, civic organizations, businesses and  individuals.  We do get some USDA food from Daily Bread in Miami and can sometimes buy food through them at a good price.

Big Pine Community Pantry’s last year’s approx. statistics for servicing the lower Keys: 246 Families signed up and there were 501 people in those families. 2220 visits for the year. 4019 people fed during the year.  Clients are allowed to come once per week for groceries.  We are open Mon - Fri. 12 to 1 at Big Pine United Methodist Church, 280 Key Deer Blvd.  You are welcome to stop by and check us out.  We are also always looking for volunteers and donations. --Colleen Massey, coordinator of Big Pine Community Food Pantry.

I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

The "Remember Me" post makes all the whining that goes on here so trivial.

[Coconut Tele] Keep the new graphics or you can post a new one when you receive one.

It is a shame it may take a few years and millions of dollars for them to realize they could have towed that gambling ship off the flats while we have the highest tides available during the Summer Solstice. But no, that means somebody in government has to think; can't have that, right?

Big Whine Key

[saw a White Crowned Pigeon last Wednesday]  Last night I saw a large-breasted Mattress Thrasher at one of the local watering holes. It obviously was well fed.

The pizza guy] Wow what a story. Yuk.  What would you consider a good tip for a pizza delivery guy? I never really know how much to give.

[The figures show that most cop hatters are criminals.] This is very possible, but the point is: not hating cops, it is fearing them.  I know of no one who has not had the fear of God when a policeman with a too tight uniform, big gun, and a worn out night stick, approaches.  One wonders what mental state this human is in and what his plans are!

Military slideshows

Detective Schultz was also very helpful in tracking down one of our local deadbeat contractors who "relocated" to Tennessee to avoid arrest here.   His help got the State’s Attorney’s office on the case and had the deadbeat finally pay us.  Thank You MCSO, Det Schultz, and our State's Attorney office.

Arnolds towing is still going strong. They mostly serve the Key West - Big Coppitt area, but they do still come up here and I believe they own BK towing here.  I too agree that that family has been through hell with the lousy justice system pertaining to that case.

Foreign ministers of the Organization of the Islamic Conference yesterday expressed grave concern at the rising tide of discrimination and intolerance against Muslims, especially in Europe and North America. “It is something that has assumed xenophobic proportions,” they said in unison.

[High tides] The coincidence of a new moon on may 16th with a lunar perigee when the moon is closest to earth on may 15th has contributed to above normal tides around the Florida Keys. Tide observations continue to be about 1 foot above expected. High tides will continue about 2 to 3 feet above mean lower low water across the Florida Keys on Friday. Minor coastal flooding will occur at some locations in the keys. Water levels are expected to be near 3 feet above mean lower low water. Tides about 3 feet above mean lower low water are expected Friday morning for a couple of hours on either side of the times of higher high tide.

I’m not sticking up for the driver, but the kid that killed Adam Arnold was only 17 years old.  Although it was a tragedy (which I actually witnessed) you can't be mad forever.  All you can do is remember the good nature of Adam as well as the whole Arnold family. 

Lesley Blackner, founder of Florida Hometown Democracy, will be interviewed on Florida Matters, WUSF 89.7 Tampa Public Radio, this Friday May 18th at 6:30 pm, and Saturday May 19th at noon.  On the broadcast, she will be debating Adam Babington, the Florida Chamber of Commerce’s top gun hired to take down the Florida Hometown Democracy movement. If you miss the broadcast, you can listen to it on the WUSF website:  
Read more at: Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

[Postal Service is totally self-sufficient financially and receives no tax money from the federal treasury] True, but they tax us all directly by raising the cost of postage.

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that make the world a better place to live, and those who don't. The Cop Hater is the latter

I happen to know how busy the police officers from Monroe County Sherriff's Office are because I ride along with them quite often. To answer the question of how many officers are patrolling the roads from Cudjoe to the 7 mile bridge, I know for a fact its more than two--try six or seven. And the night shift is the same. The Highway Patrol is patrolling as well. Calls come in so frequently that officers rarely get more than 4 or 5 minutes to inhale there lunch or dinner. They are out there trying to do a service for you people.  It disgusts me how much you haters try to talk down our local officers and their department. You hate them now, but if your life is ever in danger who are you calling? It’s the Sherrif’s Office--remember that.

As for the statement about gun owners in town being a downside, remember it is our second amendment right to own a gun as long as it is used responsibly. As for carrying a gun, you need to have a special concealed weapon or firearm license, and it is just that a license to carry a concealed weapon, not a license to use it. That’s why background checks are done for carrying permits. If you ever draw your gun you’d better make damn sure your life is in danger because if you draw over an argument you will lose that 2nd amendment right as well as your license and you will go to jail. As for the .357 comments. They aren’t funny at all. Guns are not toys and aren’t to be joked about. They are devices that can kill. Let’s all try to sound a little more mature and not like you are five years old.

[How about Marc Fuhrman working on your case?] Marc Fuhrman was a good and typical cop who says what he thinks. The liberal press and OJ's lawyers made him look bad and it worked! OJ got away with murder. What is wrong with that picture?

These high tides are just the spring tides with a little help from the wind. If the polar ice caps were melting there wouldn't be any low tides.

[Tales from the old country, continued] I still cherish memories of the sex talks I had with my saintly grandmother back in the old country. As a teenager I remember sitting around her quaint dinner table (the termite-infested wooden crate in the back yard where she lived) for hours discussing my sex life. She told me so much about women when I was growing up; she would go into sordid detail about preferred positions, toys, lubricants etc. She also told me how some women act like sexual maniacs when they want a man, and then refuse to perform shortly after marriage. She calls these women the stoikas, or loosely translated, sex fakes. I wished I would have listened; I would have avoided lots of heartaches, not to mention frustrated nights alone beating old Shep in my bedroom. She wanted to know how the sex was with my latest girlfriend. I told her she was okay, but I would bet that with some practice, she would be a worthy kre'blik (sex partner) and wife. As soon as I said this, Grandma gulped in a large breath of air and blew out a loud snort that sent mucous flying from her nose. The noise frightened Baako, our little dog, so much that he jumped the fence. I remained at the table, puzzled, wiping off my face. I asked her what the problem was and she replied, " Palinka' sorvicht, palinko' vaugcht." This translates exactly into she will learn to cook, but not to f***.

I think the new immigration bill is the fairest we can expect to deal once and for all with the existing illegal immigrants.

For sale or rent: Completely rebuilt male. 1934, high mileage, good condition,  lots of hair, many new parts, hernia fixed , appendix, tonsils, new left hip,  carpel tunnel both hands , cornea both eyes, back completely rebuilt. Not in running condition, but walks  and dances well. Ready for parties and affairs. Come on lets boogie. Get in line ladies!

The person that said that the Post office does not receive tax money from the government is right about the office being self-sufficient, but the original poster was saying they are tax-free. They pay taxes on their fuel and employees like any other big corporation. As a fleet manager you didn’t think taxes were paid on fuel, parts, etc?

I'm so glad to see Hamas and Fatah going at each other. How is it possible that the west is incapable of stopping the flow of arms to these jerks? All the western countries should get together with Israel and go into Gaza and wipe out those nests of vipers. They have to be the most useless people on the face of the earth. A Kalahari bushman has more integrity than ten Palestinians. These people have involved the world in their problems for the past 60 years and thousands of innocents have lost their lives just so the world would take notice of them. Well, to this day they have not gotten the message that the world doesn't give a crap. They should all assimilate or die.

[Mile Marker 24 Band] This is our last weekend in the Keys before starting our summer tour and we are going to squeeze every last minute out of it. On Friday May 18th we will be at the Schooner Wharf in Key West at 7:00 PM. I love that place. On Saturday May 19th the band performs at The American Cancer Society’s 4th annual Conch Rustler’s Ball at the Fort East Martello Museum. The event starts at 6:00 PM.

Sunday May 20th from 2PM –6PM will be an afternoon Luau on the patio at Boondocks on Ramrod Key. (MM 27.5) All sorts of fun stuff will be happening including a Limbo contest; free prizes and we will be giving away a trip to the Bahamas for two. Everyone 21 and older will receive a free raffle ticket and are eligible to win the trip.  How easy is that?

I have heard that there are families who live full time on good size boats who anchor just off shore during the school year in the Keys. Then they bring their school age children ashore each morning and send them to the Monroe County public schools. Since they do not own any real estate in the Keys, they pay no school taxes to support their children's education. Is this accurate?

[Mark Fuhrman] We don’t have to go across the country to find bad cop do we? How about if those Miami River Cops worked your case? Or The Bubba cops? Oh, that’s old history, huh? Well then how bout Al Flowers in KW? Or maybe have Beerbower slap a few more handcuffed prisoners. They were arrested and fired since the turn of this century.

I love Republican fairy tales. I’ve been a liberal my entire life and I damn sure don’t want a socialist country. I’m all for capitalism. Starbucks, Ben and Jerry’s, Birkenstocks and other liberal run companies all love free enterprise. Update your 1970s rhetoric, conservatives. Its far outdated.

I had the displeasure of calling Dell Customer Service today because my computer arrived missing my cordless mouse that I ordered and paid for.  After over 20 minutes on hold I was routed to a call center in India where my call was answered by a man who spoke about as much English as I speak Indian.  He insisted his name was Freddy.  I asked him if his real name was Mohammad.  I'm not sure but I think he was offended.  After trying to explain that my mouse was missing and "Freddy" not understanding a word I was saying, I asked to speak with someone who spoke better English.  He transferred me to another Indian who insisted his name was Bill.  Bill also spoke very little English.  Again, I'm not sure but I think Bill was offended when I asked him if his real name was Mohammad.  Oh, well, I'm offended that one of America's largest companies would sub out their labor force to Indians who lie about their names.  This is the fifth Dell I have bought and will be the last Dell I buy.  Even Toshiba has customer service representatives who speak perfect English.

The next time Newsweek publishes an article on how the unemployment in America is on the rise we should all photo copy this article and mail it along with a thank you letter to Mr. Dell.  Don't bother to mail this letter to Dell's Customer Service Department.  None of them will be able to read it.  God Bless America.

[49 The Hungarian] Dad removed the unwanted parts from the fan. Now if you stepped on the pedal the motor started to turn and the further down the pedal was pushed, the faster the motor turned. A few days later a man came to our home and introduced himself as Haas Gábor and wanted to talk to my mother. He brought two large pillow cases that were fairly light. They went into the living room and I kept my ears open. Mr. Haas asked mom if her equipment was ready and she said that it was. Mr. Haas told mom that he brought the spindle, spools and the raw material. The next few days I found out what this was all about. The pillow cases were full of nylon stockings and all of them were cut off at the ankle and just about all of them had runs. The spindle was put on the electric motor and the paper spool fit on the spindle snuggly. Mom opened the seam on the stockings with a special little tool to find the end of the thread. She put the stocking under the spool and with a few turns secured the thread to the spool. She started the motor and guided the thread onto the spool. The nylon stocking slowly disappeared while the spool of thread was getting bigger and bigger. Mr. Haas was a small part of the underground economy. He had workers all over the city and my mother became one of them. Mr. Haas acquired manual knitting machines and his army of knitters made nylon stockings. Mom was one of many who supplied the raw material. I don't know how much she was paid, but when she wasn't doing her normal things, she was sitting at her little table spooling thread. Evidently the money was good and the work a lot easier than working on trucks and she didn't have to leave for work at the crack of dawn. One day mom received a registered letter, signed for it and after she read who it was from the blood drained from her face. I thought she was going to faint. I was concerned and asked her, "What's wrong mom? Who is the letter from?" She didn't answer and she almost started to cry...The Hungarian

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Friday May 18, 2007


Thursday May 17, 2007

The person who identified and tracked down the stolen credit card and identity theft suspect was Detective Schultz with the Sheriff's Office.  Because of him, the suspect was arrested in Texas.  The victim, who is my employer, did not know the guy's real name.  With all the negative police comments lately, I think the Sheriff's Office deserves a pat on the back for this one.  I hope the Detective doesn't mind me using his name, but he deserves to be recognized for this, and the public needs to know the truth about it.

[Cop Hatters] You will be the ones who will need a cop one day. Than how will you feel?

Has anyone noticed the exceedingly high tides lately? Tonight is the new moon, and I know tides can be most extreme at new moon and full, but I've never seen them this high. I live on Ramrod and the lots on the other side of the street are completely flooded because the canal has risen over the banks. I've been here a number of years, been through Wilma, and all that. Except for Wilma( at least, in the last two years ) it's never been this high without a storm. Any experts out there who can 'splain to me why this is? Did the polar ice caps just take a hit?

[I apologize for asking what the nicely folded Publix bag was doing in my mail box. I’ll never ask so innocent a question again!]  Yeah it was innocent... let's recall the rest of your post that wasn't so innocent:
"Is that an advertising ploy? Do they want the commission to change the retail ordinance to allow them on the island?"
Nice try at editing your own letter.

What's up with Jack and Jill going up a freakin hill to fetch a pail of water? Why would they dig a well on top of a hill? It’s much farther to the water table.

Man it would suck for the rappers if they outlawed the "N" word and then the "F" word, they wouldn't have any lyrics left.

[It’s hard to
quiet down a one year old]
Anyone with any sense of decency, doesn't bring a screaming brat to a public restaurant where people are paying good money to dine. Company does not like misery! Get a freaking baby sitter! 

[Adam Arnold’s killer] That is terrible that this guy is out of jail and causing trouble no less.  A women lost her son forever and this guy is free.  What kind of justice is that?   I don't see  Arnolds tow trucks much anymore; a few years ago they were booming, not so much anymore. Anyone know what happened to them?

I saw a White Crowned Pigeon last Wednesday near the middle of the BPK. It was my first sighting of the year.

[gas prices] I don't work in Key West any longer and I save over a hundred dollars a week by not driving my gas guzzler. It's like getting a hundred dollar raise.

Here is Lesley Blackner's reply to yesterday's email, "No guts, no glory." She does not address my main concern: she asks others to expose their "personal information" to the powers that be but is not willing to do so herself. So, no, I do not understand her mission and will let her know by a copy of this email...

"I hope that you will come to understand my mission - that I am totally focused on Florida Hometown Democracy, nothing more, nothing less, and nothing personal, and that FHD shall accept gifts of support from every person who believes in this important reform to save what's left of Florida, and whose heart so moves them." Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

[Jerry Falwell is dead] Good! I hope what he had is contagious to all money grabbing hypocrites like him!

It was nice of Publix to donate bags, but since we all are over-flowing with plastic and paper bags at home there was really no need for anyone to donate bags. So enough about the bags and on to something new.

No, the good side is that we have people in our community with guns. That means we are citizens of a free country not subjects of a socialist state like the liberals would like us to be.

President Bush has now appointed a three star general as "War Czar" to oversee operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. Another Bush "Yes Man" added to the bureaucracy? Or perhaps a scapegoat being put in place for use when these misguided and costly operations in Iraq and Afghanistan inevitably fail? I am confused. I thought such war oversight fell under the Secretary of Defense? If not, then what is the function of the Secretary of Defense? And what happens when the "War Czar" and the Secretary of Defense disagree. Who reports to who? I guess Bush will be the tie breaker.

[Six former detainees at the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, reemerged as Islamist fighters in Afghanistan after their release] One can only hope they were identified posthumously.

Isn't the refuge supposed to be quiet so as not to disturb the critters? How come those nosy helicopters fly around every single day? Is it because its all right for the government to disturb the habitat? (I'm not an old person , but I just wanted to stir things up a little and get you off "bags".)

[Cop Hater]  I can assure you that I'm just as sane as you are--maybe saner? Just do not be surprised when one of our supposedly finest makes you bleed and it's not even that time of the month. Why do you think most cops carry throw down guns? Cops have murdered and have gotten away with it. Many people are in prison because of zealous cops, who, when they find out that a mistake was made, they keep quiet about it.

How about a fine upstanding officer like Marc Furman working on your case?

Here's a link to the Office of Dietary Supplements/NIH Clinical Center of the National Institutes of Health. For Vitamin B-12 :

The figures show that most cop hatters are criminals. If we get rid of the criminals and we have one big happy family again.

First: the Department of Defense has the largest vehicular fleet in the country, Postal Service being second. (Yes, I am a retired Postal Service Fleet Manager)

Second:  Since the Postal Service Reorganization Act of 1970 the Postal Service is totally self-sufficient financially and receives no tax money from the federal treasury.

No guts, no glory. Yesterday I wrote about the sudden death of my son and the ensuing "miracle" that saved me from Vietnam. There is more to the story--much more. I've written about it before over the years, but only now am I realizing (from dreams mostly) something it did to me…Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo (Ed: It's actually Tuesday May 16th's Cock-a-doodle-do. I messed up; sorry, Sloan.)

I like the new banner. Big improvement!

[Re: 40 ft Sharpie] First thing I thought of when I heard Sharpie. I hope there are none involved with the band!

[Child Hater] If you cannot and will not shut your brats up in a restaurant then leave them at home. The rest of us are already paying for their education and in most modern cases the food stamps and hospital bills. The least you could do to say thanks by leaving a noisy kid at home. And, by the way, breeding does more to hurt the planet than all the cars combined. There already too many people on poor ol’ earth.

[the sewer mess]  Does anybody know, really know, what’s going on with the sewer program?  As I understand it the Keys are under some sort of federal mandate to completely sewer the entire length of the keys by 2009.  Yet I’m told that there aren’t even any plans drawn yet to sewer Big Pine Key and the Port Pines Heights area.  2009 is 18 months away.  Does that mean that beginning in 2009 I’ll have to package that which should go in the sewer and send it to the mainland?

Help me understand:  1. Does the mandate exist? If so, what is the Federal mandate?  2. What agency and what is the name of the person(s) who is (are) responsible for planning and implementing any BPK sewer project?  3. Who is going to pay for it?  4. What is it going to cost?  5. Does any plan exist, and what is it?  6. When will it start and what is the time table?  7. What action can be expected from the Feds if we fail to meet the mandate?  8. Did our local politicos blow a chance to get big Federal bucks to do the job? 8. Who should know the answers to all of the above?

Does anybody know if we’ll be in deep doo doo if we don’t have new sewers by then?

Food drive to the person who thinks we don't  need food drives down here you must be new or have a retirement check that comes in every month. I have a full time job and raise two kids as do a lot of single parents.  Sometimes if I have to take a couple of days off in a month to go to the doctors or dentist for the kids it is nice to know that I can stop by one of the churches and pick some stuff up to hold us over. Some of us don't know on Monday how much our pay check will be on Friday. I guess you never have had to worry about this, lucky you. I have been to the churches.  There are a lot of people that are grateful for this service that our local carriers do.

I wrote the post on not trusting cops. I feel the cop hater post with his obvious mental problems detracts from the valid point that people are losing trust in cops. I have never committed any crime besides speeding. I have only received three speeding tickets my whole life. Each ticket I have received I deserved. This does not matter. What matters is most cops don't know the law or that they have to abide by it. Like someone else posted, "they may be just lazy and not care." This is not all cops. I believe there are a few good cops that become cops for good reasons. But I also feel that most cops become cops to mess with people or to compensate for a lack of self esteem.

One individual wrote a very nice, well thought out post on the negative effects of not snitching. He is correct and that is the problem. When people don't trust cops they don't talk to them. I am one person that once trusted cops, but I have lost that trust. I know I am not unique. If I, a law abiding citizen, do not trust cops then there are thousands more like me. That is a scary fact that our society must deal with. If you readers really believe that our justice system treats cops the same as average citizens there is nothing anyone can do to help you.

Cops get away with using excessive force all the time and no one talks about it. I am looking at the bigger picture as a country not a county. The examples in my previous post show this. If our society was just, every single one of the Chicago cops involved with the officer that beat that bartender would be on trial. In Miami the undercover officer and other officers that shot up the car and killed the man that was getting married the following day should all be in jail. Are they? You may believe it was justified, I do not. These are just recent events I remember and were on the news. I do disagree about how the media covers these occurrences. I believe media outlets are biased toward law enforcement. If they were not they may be labeled as cop haters.

I feel our country is the leader of the free world and we should strive to have the best police force possible. Not accept our deficiencies. I have dealt with several local cops but I was not the one who committed any crime nor was I the caller. I was just an innocent observer. Believe it or not, I don't care. I would not believe an anonymous letter implicating any fellow employee. Why should the sheriff? It's a cop’s word against yours. Who are the other cops going to believe? Their fellow officer is the one they’ll believe. I will ask again, what has a cop done for you today?

Free Software Utilities - No Nonsense Software  "Print Folder" is quite handy at times.

We humans are so stupid to think that gathering at a benefit for someone and drink ourselves cell-dead is a way to benefit the community. If we would all think of coming together as a whole what accomplishments we could obtain. When you find out something is wrong with your home you don't think about it; you gather the needed supplies, find out how-to fix it and get it done.

When you’re unhappy about a wrong situation that is going on in your home town you think about it, gather information about it, and then what? Sit back and watch as nothing happens? So why is this any different? Are you worried about what your friends and neighbors will say about your feelings? They are probably feeling the same thing, also being scared of voicing their opinion in light of being ridiculed. But if we don't open up to the real problems facing us, how will we ever settle them in a way to make life here better?

With all the time and effort spent on this web site, if that time and energy was directed into a path where benefits would come from it, just think how much closer we would be to a better way of life here. Just think of how long and to what extent this site has been going; and now think of all the issues we could correct if we got together in a town meeting like they used to have in the old days. Opinions would be voiced, heard, and actions would be taken based on the majority vote. That's right, a democracy, and things could get changed within our own town the way we want them to be changed. Having the right people there, monitored, and maybe even recorded.

I'm not talking about major issues, just the small ones. Let’s not get to ahead of ourselves here. But we could start out small, see how things would go, and after a while of seeing those things discussed actually come to resolution. Then we would have a nice concrete step to stand on with other issues. Maybe then, after a while of banding together and showing a unified community spirit, with documented items corrected, there's no telling what we could accomplish if we were lead by the right people, elected leaders of the "Community Enhancement Board". I think it has a nice ring, and after a year or two we could look back and really feel good that we started this when we did and to be able to see significant changes in our town.

We all want to see Big Pine succeed, but what are we all willing to do to see that happen? Well? Answer this: what are you prepared and ready to do to see this happen? Aren't we all tired of seeing people leave because they couldn't make it here for one reason or another?

Are we waiting for the government officials to do something about it? We've seen some glimpses of what they want to do with Big Pine (well, them and the builders). Do we like that? Are you going to be the next ones to give up your piece of Paradise for them and letting your businesses go down the tubes with all your investments as well? If not, start talking among yourselves, either in the salons, grocery stores, at local bars or wherever you meet with a friend or coworker, and talk to them about this article. If they would be interested in having a town meeting and talking about getting something started in Big Pine, something to be valued for years to come. And if anyone has any real support, not talking about the negative support, but people with honest concerns about our town and their existence in it, take a minute and respond. If you can’t have a productive response then be satisfied with what is going on here and don't ever complain about anything here again. If you want to complain about something, be ready to help fix it. Big Pine needs more helpful people, not more winners.   

In the 2006 election, a Florida voting system was attacked by a worm. The worm wreaked havoc on the system, shutting it down for two hours. A patch has been available for the worm for years. But the infected Florida machine was missing five years of security updates. Worm attacked voter database in notorious Florida district

What is the "big US1 radio auction" benefiting? I just heard US1 radio is non-profit. Is that true?

Why don't you old bags get off the bags? Its past old.

Ode to our friends
So long Debbie, until we meet again, you were so much more then a friend
You were Plump and Juicy in the chicken Fest, and the one I loved the best.
Steve, Tracey, Brody too, how would I have found my bracelet without you?
George is a person most don't understand, but him and Heidi would always lend a hand.
Mr. Bangus, Angus to most, would always raise a beer to us in a toast.
Then there is Eric our favorite bartender, who also wedded me and Jer
Tracey and Bob Hull, without you The Rocky Horror Party would have been dull.
Rodger with his ponytail, oh just go f**k yourself. He, he, he, he
Hap and Judy always kind, help you when in a bind.
Cookie Dave and Jan,
We are gonna miss ya Cookie man.
Mike, Rando, Jesse, George, Rodger, Ant, Candice, Debbie and Scott,
the best damn people to work with at Overseas,
and not one of them suffer from Keys disease.
Keith and Janet, from Costa Rica, seems like another planet.
So long to everyone else I didn't mention
We are going to miss you all
Ush and Jerry

The Official Site of Major League Baseball: fan_forum: MLB ALL-STAR FAN SWEEPSTAKES presented by DHL

[48 The Hungarian] We arrived at the narrow gauge track of the Pioneer Railroad. This railroad was operated by boys and girls ten years old and older who chose railroading as a career. It was all under adult supervision of course, but everything from ticket sales to track maintenance is done by kids. We waited by the trackside, the track did a switchback here to engage a lesser slope. Pista said that it goes slow enough here that we can easily jump on board. Ever since we left the pump there was plenty to talk about, Szabolch was saying, "I just couldn't get at him, you guys were hogging him all to yourselves, but I was there in reserve." Szabolcs only got a few kicks in and he felt that he let us down. We wanted to take the dents out of his ego, "Don't worry about it, Szabolcs, the numbers made the difference, that's why the guy gave up." Pista backed me up by adding, "Yea, Imre is right, that guy could have taken any one of us one-on-one. I think that he thought that after he knocked me over that all you guys would run away." Szabolcs started to feel better, ” Well, he thought wrong. We sure showed him and he will think twice about taking on four smaller guys." We didn't get to explore a cave but experienced the meaning of camaraderie first hand. The day was not a total loss. I joined the modeling club in school and decided to build a rubber band powered airplane of my own design...The Hungarian

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Thursday May 17, 2007


Wednesday May 16, 2007

Thanks to for today's Coconut Telegraphic.  If any of you would like to see your graphic used please make it 600 pixels wide and let us know what the credit should read.

Cop Hater” needs professional help. I don’t think anyone will ever love their police force. I mean, these men and women have the power to take away the thing we prize the most; our freedom. That is anathema to a freedom loving people. It is also a necessary power, unfortunately, that we have to entrust someone with because there are so many out there like the Cop Hater and The Sand Man and drunk drivers that commit crimes and prey upon others and need to be kept out from among  the rest of us in society.

The cost for this is a strict accounting of these people through certification, training and an always watchful public eye. They have to be professionals because we will not let them be any less. The very few bad ones found are always in the news and always fired if they are found guilty or decertified after a state or even FBI investigation. People are always making allegations against them or whining about their service it seems (particularly here) but it is almost always a criminal caught by them or someone with an agenda as you can tell by the wording of their posts. Growing up in the country and later in the suburbs, we never called the police for petty things like I see people here do on a constant basis. From what I have seen these are some of the best and most ethical members of our society who have a difficult task and do it very well. I do not want to live in a police state and we are far from it. I don’t want a personal police officer attached to me for every little infraction I see either. I have been standing around on Duval St. while they are dealing with some drunken moron at Fantasy Fest or slow down on Big Pine when I see them dealing with someone on the road and would not hesitate to help one of them if it appeared they needed it.

“They” are “us” too and just happen to be the ones that deal with the shit that I would not want to have to do myself on a daily basis.

Jerry Falwell is dead
. Falwell had been one of thee most divisive Christian leaders of the last few decades.

Up to six air marshals now accompany every flight from the UK into the US amid fears that terrorists may co-ordinate a series of mid-air explosions.

The cop hater is our lovable Hungarian. I was a commodities dealer in south Florida in the early 80s and having my cash stolen and my ribs broken by law enforcement down here I also have no love affair with the police. I now work for 3 Hungarians who say The AVO in Hungry make the old school  Miami River cops (look it up Newbies) look like choir boys. So lighten up before you judge someone and remember, Jesus lovers, that God made weed and booze. Just who do you trust?

[Another great parenting job by a clueless breeder] What about the old women that yelled at the one year old? That wasn't nice, the kid is 1 years old and anyone who has children knows sometimes its hard to quiet down a one year old.

I think it's time for the whiner on Key Deer Blvd to get off their soapbox.  I'm getting sick and tired of the children being used as an excuse.  Key Deer is not the only street with women, children, and elderly.  Here's a newsflash.  People speed on every street around here.  It's the idiots behind the wheel who are at fault, not the cops.  They have a duty to patrol everywhere, not just Key Deer Blvd. 

And you want to complain about the Sheriff's budget?  Take a look at the operating costs of that white elephant Trauma Star that has nothing to do with law enforcement.  I seem to remember a few months back people were bitching because there were too many cops on the road.  You people amaze me.   

[Publix's shopping bag] Why didn't our resident grocery store Winn Dixie donate bags?

[Some freedoms to think about this July 4th] Do not claim that freedom of speech gives you the right to wear a Tee-shirt that the government doesn't like. They can put you in jail. You used to have the right to freedom from search unless a search warrant was issued. Now the police can come into your home, and take whatever they want, and not tell you until 2 weeks later, if they tell you at all. They don't even have to knock on the door before they barge in.

[Dr. Kevorkian] The only effect Kevorkian had was on the insurance and medical profiteers, and our freedom to choose for our selves!

[parenting job]
A Golden Corral restaurant closed for 2 hours! Man, you know there were some pissed off heffers milling around in the parking lot.

[Yankee mouth] A .357 is ok, but sometimes, if it doesn't hit anything vital, it just passes thru. A nice slow moving .45 has a much more desirable effect. (no I wasn't the original poster nor am I a Yankee)

I still don’t believe that are any people around here that need food who can’t work for it. I think the Post Office food drive must take the collected food elsewhere. Hell, we don’t even have any panhandlers around here.

Six former detainees at the U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, reemerged as Islamist fighters in Afghanistan after their release, the Pentagon said yesterday.

I saw on the news that there is a big push to make the "N" word illegal. I wonder if this new law will pertain to white folk or will it be illegal for everyone?

The down side is that we have people(?) with guns in our community.  The upside is that Geico has a readily available gene pool for future insurance ads.

bagmanPublix did a service by donating plastic bags.  the food drive is not sponsored by any of our supermarkets. You could use whatever bag you had in your household;  plastic or paper--just fill it. Leave it by your mail box and the carrier picks it up. That's that.  Publix will not be on BP any time soon.

[Ready for the big time] I saw the flyers hanging in the bar today. “40 Foot Sharpie” will be playing at The Key Deer Bar & Grill this Friday, May 18 at 7pm. They've been practicing at some Key West bars and might finally be good enough to play on Big Pine Key.

Hating cops is nothing new. Especially for those who meet them on a regular basis. But! I do think the guy who tracked down the person who stole his credit card and identity should be nominated for sheriff when our next election comes around. You would think the detectives and other law enforcers should know all the tricks when it comes to apprehending violators. Maybe they don't know how to perform a job like that or just don't care. Neither one of those are acceptable. Come on Sheriff, work a little harder for those who voted for you.

What's the big friggin deal what kind of bags were used in the food drive?  Kudos to all involved in the food drive. It's a good thing and anyone knocking it should be ashamed of themselves. There's a lot of hate on this one little site.

[Do you remember me?] The following is the hottest thing on the internet. Lizzie Palmer who put this together is 15 years old.  There have been over 3,000,000 hits as of Friday morning.

Of course I didn’t read the link you posted about dumb Americans; and I’m from Cuba. Duh!

Why you never stiff the pizza guy!

Other people's incompetence is an acceptable topic for everyday conversation.

Wouldn't this photo be a great ad for this chip company?

[Post office is tax free] Hardly. The post office has the largest truck fleet in the United States. If gas prices are even raised 1 penny a gallon it cost the P.O. millions. That’s a lot of tax money. Have you seen the gas prices? Don’t sweat the 2 penny stamp increase. If you send out 100 Christmas cards this year it will only cost you another $2.

[Who said smoking in bars is bad for you?] Stewart Laidlaw, 35, was banished from Thirsty Kirsty's pub in Dunfermline, Scotland, in March, following numerous complaints about his excessive flatulence. A shocked Laidlaw said no one had complained before, but conceded that was probably because cigarette smoke had been masking the odor until Scotland's recent smoking ban.

After reading an article about the military trying to find the captured troops in Iraq it dawned on me how much these men and women have to go thru that is really not understood by the civilian population. We just go about our normal work day. Thanks to all of you past Veterans and today’s troops. WW2, Korean War, Cold War, Vietnam, Gulf War 1 and now the Iraq War. I guess because you served meant that we didn’t have to really know what you folks went thru.

Bob and Dixie Lee Henckel
on their anniversary. Both are locals who are transplanted from Michigan.

No guts, no glory. Yesterday I wrote about the sudden death of my son and the ensuing "miracle" that saved me from Vietnam. There is more to the story. Much more. I’ve written about it before over the years, but only now am I realizing (from dreams mostly) something it did to me...Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

To the community: I apologize for asking what the nicely folded Publix bag was doing in my mail box. I’ll never ask so innocent a question again!

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Wednesday May 16, 2007


Tuesday May 15, 2007

The final solution
to our cat problem! $8.95
Testimonials for the cat bib:
What was that wet stuff falling from the sky last night?

Easy on the cops
. Don't lump them together. There are some good ones and they're working very hard, often against the grain, to stay that way (And I work for the Blue Paper, so some would say it's my job to fry cops when they deserve it).

[cop hater]  I’m sure glad that “Cop Hater” let it all hang out.  I’m confident that he feels much more comfortable with himself after venting his feelings.  There is nothing like a good catharsis to ease the tensions.  I’d suggest that Cop Hater prepare a list of people and things he loves so as to provide some balance to his psyche.  Lets’ help him out. 

People and things that I love, by Cop Hater:  I love the smell of burning rubber. I love not getting caught.  I love lying.  I love weed.  I love pills. I love Myron, my bail-bonds man. I love screwing with people.  I love roofies (I can’t get laid without ‘em).  I love hip hop.  I love Mr. Hooplewaite, my Public Defender.  I love people who hammer snitches.  I love Lenny, my last cell mate.  I love 3:00 AM, hardly any cops around.  I love 4:30 PM, a great time to get up. I love almost everything you've got, I love Mom, she leaves her purse out, and she’s always got a few bucks to take.  I love being in your dark houses with no body home, it’s really a rush.  I love little girls and some little boys.  I love hoppin your car.  I love stoned.  I love beer, booze and bingeing.  I love being off probation.  I love 97 mph.  I love bitchin’ pipes. I love loud rides.  I love it when witnesses don’t show up and I walk out of court.  I love scaring people.  I love hangin’.  I love not taking a bath. I love pissin' off people. I love an unlocked--anything.  I love looking cool. I love not working.  I love bitchin’.    I love not going to school.  I love knowing that I’m picked on by the damned cops and everybody.  Damn it, It’s not my fault.  I love hate. 

There’s a lot more for Cop Hater to hate than just Cops.   I’m sure that Cop Hater will have a long, prosperous, and happy life.  I’d just love it if it were a long, long way from here.

Another great parenting job by a clueless breeder.

[How about this one at the top of the Coconut Telegraph page?] except these days you go wireless. ((((I))))

I would like to offer a tremendous thank you to all the firefighters who did such a wonderful job controlling the fire that came uncomfortably close to our property. Here we are, 3 days later and there is a crew clearing debris (damaged trees, etc.) to protect us from any future fires. Thank you all so much for your dedication and hard work. You are appreciated!

I am not a criminal.  Therefore, I never have run-ins with the police.  The very disturbed cop hater who posted yesterday is obviously a career criminal with violent tendencies who should not be roaming free.  And as far as I'm concerned, if the criminals hate cops, the cops are doing their jobs.

[why there are no suicide hospitals] Dr. Kevorkian's experience had a bit of a dampening effect on such an enterprise.

[food drive] Did you ever think that Publix might have donated the bags?  Duh.

Three blondes are walking through the forest. They come upon some tracks. They say, "They are deer tracks, bear tracks, moose tracks…” That's when the train hit them!

Suicide is the permanent solution to a temporary problem.

[Food drive] Someone asked the question about the starving in Monroe County.  Perhaps the food drive is to keep people from starving!  I've helped many who were in dire straits and couldn't buy food, nor pay rent or mortgages because of unforeseen circumstances like a catastrophic illness or accident. Even if they had insurance they can't work and therefore use all their savings, (if they had any), to pay for utilities, rent and everyday living expenses.  Most, when they are mended, pay back in other ways when they are able.  A person doesn't have to be starving to need help.

Castro turned loose thousands of criminals on the USA.]
  Who is to say they were all criminals?  Why not one hell of a lot of "sleeper soldiers"?  Those people are very sneaky!

[Why a Publix's shopping bag] Because it was free to the post office.  It's the same reasons that local businesses sponsor various local charity save expenses.  It most likely cost Publix a penny per bag, if even that much.  Your local post office has volunteered/offered space in it's mail-carrier vehicles and most likely has volunteers that will be delivering the goods.  Are you really going to get bitchy because it was a Publix bag?  Next year, if you'd prefer, we'll let you get new bags printed on your own dime, and distribute them, again on your own dime. 

C'mon already, either put some canned/dried goods in it, and put it back in your mailbox or else throw it away like you would with any other junk mail.  Don't be such a whiney key's resident. It's not very becoming.

Gee, the Post Office, a privately owned tax free business corporation, just raised the postage to $.41. I guess they didn't get enough free food for the summer, eh?

I wonder how the poster knows Hendrix is crooked. Has she slept with him?

[Europeans dumber then Americans]  Duh, Mr. Darwin, did you read the link that was supposed to go with that line? No, of course not.  Statement secure.

101 Reasons why you should not become a cop.

[Publix shopping bag] The Postal Service employees volunteer for this worthy project every year. One condition is that it must not cost the Postal Service any money, other than the little time invested by the employee.  Here's an idea, next year the Postal Service will charge for the bags and the employee time. So, if Publix donates the bags, your point might be exactly what? Guess what, Winn Dixie didn't, nor did Dion's

Cops are people
who have chosen to defend you from the bad guys. From murders, rapists, con men, thieves, reckless drivers, just about anything that is considered out of line. It is not an easy job and the pressures involved sometimes change a person into something totally different from what they were. It sometimes is called the Tackelberry Syndrome, after the charter in the movie Police Academy. This is a dangerous mental problem and more and more police personnel are succumbing to this and other stress related disorders. It is the job of their police medical staff to recognize tell tail symptoms before they become dangerous to everyone.

[Food drive] Yes, I wonder too, who is "starving" in the Keys and living in $1,000,000+ homes!  People only starve in this world for three reasons: War, Culling by their governments, or over breeding so much, there is no cultivatable land left. I pity them. Not!

It's about time we finally got some much needed rain. Kudos to God.

While a .357 magnum might be enough for a snowbird, this redneck has already been hit by one of them and survived, so you'd better bring something that shoots a bullet at least as big as your Yankee mouth!

[Only two deputies patrolling]  If we only have 2 deputies patrolling during the day from Cudjoe to the 7 mile bridge, then why is their budget so big?  (Largest in the county).  I can go into any neighborhood and see more then 2 cop cars parked at anytime.  What I want as a tax payer is for them to do their job.  If they enforced the speed limit on Key Deer then they wouldn't have to be called.  They say the down fall of ever great empire is when we show no respect for women, children or the elderly, I guess we are getting there.

Smokers are people just like everybody else--just for a shorter period of time.

[47 The Hungarian] Pista and I were in the vicinity of Engels Plaza and the British Embassy is near by. A line was forming by the embassy's entrance, and there was a sign that read “See Edmund Hillary Conquer Mt. Everest”. We stood in line too and went in and saw the documentary. It was great and in color too! When Pista bragged at home about what we saw and where, his parents went ballistic. They yelled at him and told him how stupid he was and that he should stop being friends with me because I'm going to get him in trouble. Furthermore, his father told him that the ÁVÓ takes pictures of people that enter western embassies. They more than likely did, but we only went there to see a movie, and I was just a kid, so they can kiss my ass. Every time I went by there I always checked the sign for the next attraction. Pista never came again. Our friendship didn't suffer because of it. We had plenty of other things to do. One day he asked me if I would like to go to explore a cave. I was all for it. The cave was on the Buda side just outside of the city limits. Mom made me a few sandwiches and on a Saturday morning we got on with the program, two other guys came with us who both my age...The Hungarian

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Tuesday May 15, 2007


Monday Monday May 14, 2007

[More blessed to give] To Commissioner Neugent: I was told in dreams last night to give to these kids the $10,000 I was going to give to Lesley Blackner of Florida Hometown Democracy. Do I make a check out to Grace Jones Day Care Center, and where do I send it?

I'm now going to shift gears a bit, ask you for help with something that might help these kids, too, and perhaps other Keys folks…Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

On the average day, there are only two Deputies patrolling the area from Cudjoe Key to the Seven Mile Bridge.  If my math is correct, that is 20 miles of highway, not including all the side roads on Cudjoe, Summerland, Ramrod, The Torches, and Big Pine.  Aside from patrolling, let's not forget responding to calls, some of which require both of the Deputies.  For you to continually bitch about the lack of Police presence in one particular spot is selfish and ignorant.  If you want a cop to sit at Watson Field every time the light is flashing, call the Sheriff's Office and hire an off-duty Deputy.  Then, and only then, can a Deputy dedicate 100% of his time to your little cause.  Otherwise, don't expect them to ignore everyone else just for you. 

Ed: How about a little touch-up on the Coconut Telegraph graphic? (Ed: I agree. How about this one at the top of the page?)

The previous comments about marsh rabbits and cats have been intended to speak to a couple of issues. First, we tend to take any information fed to us at face value; in this case: that 54% of the rabbits have been killed by cats. That may be true, but I think it behooves us to demand the data that substantiates this assertion. There's no question that protecting an endangered species is critical, but we deserve to know the facts.  It may be helpful to go the U.S. Fish & Wildlife's home page and click the link taking you to their discussions about endangered species and  the research methodology used to make those determinations. It suggests that our local authorities either ignored these directives, have other motives or believe we don't have the need to know. 

Another issue has to do with simple respect for living things and basic decency. The reports in the newspapers regarding the marsh rabbit would have us believing that they are being destroyed only by cats, which obviously is not the case. The fact that these cats are feral suggests that people have again failed to take responsibility for neutering and containment, leaving these animals with no choice but to hunt to survive. This does not mean they deserve to die. It's reassuring that Stand Up for Animals has volunteered to take in these cats which will save some. However, a number of them will not be adoptable because they're wild. The organization called Whiskers and Paws is trying to raise money to buy a large plot of land on the mainland where these cats can be released after they're neutered.

The potential is there for a win-win solution if the right people will come together and coordinate their efforts and their monies.  I haven't seen any figures on the projected costs involved in trapping and caring for cats, but I suspect that buying some land, neutering the animals, and turning them loose to live a natural life is far more affordable, and far more honorable.

It's distressing to hear that there are those who would  advocate eradicating cats and other species that prey on rabbits as a solution (and there will always be those Bubbas that get off on killing things.)  The single variable that seems to be at the root of problems related to the balance of nature is undoubtedly human, so how about working to find constructive answers to the problems we've caused.

Thanks to Little Palm Island, Captain, Crew and all the staff. You made a very special Mothers Day for my mom. Your attention to her special needs was exceptional.

At 93, she said she will be there again next Mothers Day.
We'll see you before then.

[Publix shopping bag] Why a Publix's shopping bag? Why not a plain bag without advertising or a Post Office bag and a note for what the bag is for. Oh, that makes too much sense!

[Do talk about suicide] I always wondered why there are no Suicide Hospitals that can help people who want to end it all like in the Soylent Green movie.  Why not, it is your life?

[invasive species] So now raccoons should be removed from sensitive places where the marsh rabbits may be? Good luck with that!

[“Cop-out” answer to Police car engine running while parked] Some police cars have sophisticated computers and electronics which need constant electricity, thus easier, or maybe necessary, to keep the engine running at all times.  The engine's alternator generates electricity to power the equipment.

[yard varmints] You forgot to include in your varmint list, rednecks who shoot everything. I suggest using a .357 magnum on them as well as snowbirds posing as locals.

Big production video for you to enter a contest.
The Hunt

[no desalinated water] Because I’m sure the plant is in disrepair.

[Publix shopping bag] Wow, yours was neatly folded, mine was all wrinkled, but it was full of coupons.

To my Countrymen, tis of thee
No longer will I be this happy and free
It is you who have lost America's sole
And drove me down this stinking hole
I pray for freedom on one sore knee
Before the Ragheads come across the sea
Cry I will to see my loved one die
America the Beautiful, there she lies
Dirty and tired I'll live from now on,
Despising politicos until that last black dawn.

[Cop Hater] I have never met a cop I really liked. When you need one they are nowhere to be found, but go thru a yellow or a stop sign in an empty neighborhood, they come out of your trunk. The less I have to do with cops the better I like it. If there was ever a revolution I would shoot every single cop I saw because they served the system the revolution is trying to destroy. Not all, but most cops are criminals with badges. I had cops beat me up for no good reason and other cops that were present backed up the assaulter’s lies in court. Cops extorted money from me when I was stopped for alleged speeding. Cops have tried deliberately to provoke me into something so that they would have a reason to shoot me of at least beat me up. The small cops are the worst. The badge makes them bigger than what they are. Cops are basically lazy people, they just want to put in their time, eat donuts and retire. The same caliber people can be found in the service, these people retire after 20 years (total lack of ambition, they brown nose up the rank ladder) they become prison and jail guards and try to wear tailored uniforms. Most of them are so fat that the seams and buttons can't take the strain. There is one in Key West jail (he's not fat), but an ex-lifer just the same. He wears his “I’ve been there” ribbons on his jailer uniform. What an obnoxious asshole. I sincerely wish that someone should shank him. I guess that I am a cop hater, all nationalities, colors, and creeds. Show me a cop and I show you an asshole.

Join the Blizzard fan club and get 2-4-1.
DQ Blizzard Fan Club :: Join The Blizzard Fan Club

I’m baffled why Yoandry Noa, the guy who killed Adam Arnold in a hit-and-run is still running lose and not in jail. Since he was let off almost scott free for his horrible crime he’s been arrested more than a dozen times for speeding, reckless driving, driving with a suspended license and other vehicular infractions. He’s even been arrested three times for battery, drug possession and aggregated assault with a deadly weapon. Its no wonder the crooked lawyer, Hendricks, went free. It seems the only thing you go for jail around here is for feeding the Key deer.

of Southern Exteriors owned by Steven Staley of Big Pine. He’s been arrested for contractor fraud for taking the money from customers and not doing any work.

[Unedited?] Would you amend the first line of our announcement to read : Big Pine AYSO...!!

Another cruise ship has run aground and is sinking. This one is off Alaska.

[gas prices have gone down because of next year’s election] Where the hell are you living and the election isn’t for another year.

[Food drive] Just who are those that need food in the Keys? I didn’t know there were starving people here and I’ve seen only a couple of bums. They’re mostly in Key West.

Someone posted a quote from a man which stated that "Americans are dumber then the dumbest European". He was a European, what else would he say: "We’re dumber then Americans"?

Awwwww. How cute. YouTube - Otters holding hands

[Cuba v. United States] Where the hell have you been for the last 50 years? Castro is a dictator just a bad as the one he ousted. He is a communist who let the Russians use his country for a nuclear attack against the USA. He confiscated all the American businesses in Cuba. He had JFK killed (theory) and turned loose thousands of criminals on the USA. To this day his prisons are full of political prisoners. How can you possibly compare his human rights record to the USA?

Judging by the complaints the person is making about the blinking light at Watson Field, it sounds like nothing can make them happy.  Obviously in the whiner’s mind, the cops are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

What elections and low gas prices are you talking about?

Win a $2500 Circuit city gift card. Enter to win 

The noose on your note about suicide is about the most insensitive thing I have seen on your site in quite a while.

[Howard and the Mile Marker 24 Band] We are getting ready to hit the road on the first part of our summer tour and have decided to do things a little different this year. We are calling it our “Grass Roots Tour”. We’re deliberately leaving some open dates between our larger shows to have the opportunity for acoustic house concerts along the way. We want to get to know our wonderful fans and followers in a more intimate setting. So if you live between Florida and Chicago and would like to have a private Mile Marker 24 acoustic party, call all of your friends, drop us a line and we will make it happen. We’ll bring our equipment, our old Johnson outboard motor margarita maker and have a blast! Some dates we have open are May 27 & 28 in the Tennessee, Alabama and Kentucky area. We also are leaving other dates open and are excited about doing this.

I often wonder why we can talk about priests molesting young boys, serial killers that prey on the young, Court TV, but when it comes to depression or suicide, no one wants to know.  In the world of extreme games, internet porn, and switching spouses (an actual TV program), depression is something you just do not admit to anyone other than a health-care worker.  As hard as it may seem, a close friend will be able to see some sign such as loss of interest in something they used to enjoy, loss of hygiene or an inability to keep appointments with friends. And if the friend has the balls, they need to confront the person directly and let loved ones know, secretly, (that’s very important since the depressed person does not want anyone, especially those very close to them, that they may be about to abort their life) that they feel something is just not right.  Hopefully our society will come to terms with depression, and some of its consequences before more people chose to take their lives.

Persuasion is difficult-to-impossible when people are dug in, be it Iraq, short term rentals, cats, pit bulls, iguanas, religion, politics, whatever. I am reminded of a quote:
A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.
Our rants on this glorious board are fun to read, but we can only preach to our own choir.  The folks in the other pews want nothing to do with us--and we them. God Bless Ed for putting up with us all.

New International symbol for gasoline.

[46 The Hungarian] Budapest is bisected by the Danube.  Pest, on the east bank, is flat as a pool table and Buda, on the west bank, is hills and mountains. St. Gellért Mountain is on the bank of the Danube, almost downtown. I don't think it's a mountain in the geographical sense, but it's a big hunk of rock all the same, and it has been called that for a very long time. Buda and Pest is connected by four road bridges (there used to be six. Two still hang in the Danube uselessly--the work of German sappers.) The Buda side has the Fortress of Buda and the Royal Palace which was bombed to hell, courtesy of the Eighth Air Force. It is just a ruin, a ruin that I wanted to explore real soon. The Pest side has the House of Parliament, a beautiful building, Gothic in architecture. The Basilica further east resembles the one in Rome. These two are the tallest structures in Pest.

One afternoon I heard the sound of a model airplane engine from my room...The Hungarian

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Monday Monday May 14, 2007


Sunday May 13, 2007

I am interested in the mass die-off of fish at the 18 mile stretch construction site. I find it funny they blame it on too many fish in one area draining all the oxygen--not their construction. They say it is just a coincidence that the fish only died in that one area, the area where they are doing the construction. Do they believe we are really that gullible; or is it that we can't do anything about it so they want to rub it in our faces? It is so amazing to me that they are allowed to do so much environmental damage but I can't have a toilet down stairs. If I was a commercial business bringing in more tax money then I would be allowed to, but I am just a home owner and a contributing member of society.

[cop haters]  I suppose that it’s the American way to be distrustful and leery of any government authority figure.  Nobody likes being told what to do.  I suspect however that the poster bitching about our local law enforcement has some deeper issues.  One must wonder if some close up and personal interaction has taken place.  I really wonder how the poster feels about jailors.  I wonder too, how the poster feels about criminal defense attorneys.

I'm really impressed that the poster has a deeper understanding and more knowledge of the law than does a state certified law enforcement professional. 

I hope that everyone who reads this site knows that all cops have to undergo periodic retraining; the various courses are mandated and supervised by the state.  Every sworn police officer in the state undergoes a lengthy course of training before they can receive their license (certification).  Every cop must be certified to be employed.  The state of Florida is as serious as a heart attack about pulling the certification of rogue or corrupt cops.

There’s no question the spectrum of cop competence is wide, after all cops are human first.  On one end there are a few truly bad cops.  On the other end, there are truly fine cops.  A few cops can be mean-dumb-corrupt-low-life-rotten-toothed-beer-bellied-slugs.  The vast majority of cops are hard working, decent people who are truly dedicated to their oath of serving and protecting you. 

There is no class of public employee that is under closer scrutiny than law enforcement officers.  Think about it.  The news media are constantly looking for headlines.  The criminal lawyers are constantly looking for screw ups in the work of the cops.  Civil lawyers are anxious to find instances of police error that might warrant a law suit.  The governmental entity that employs the law enforcement officer is always looking over the cop’s shoulder--leery of law suits.  The rules regulations and policies of every law enforcement employer fill book shelves.  Uniform cops are out in the open, every day, every minute, you are looking at them.  They’re there for you to observe and criticize.

Do cops screw up?  You betcha.  The poster mentioned a few instances of what are reported as being piss poor cop behavior.  In each of these cases an internal and a couple of external investigation were commenced.  In each of these cases internal disciplinary action was taken.  In at least one of these cases criminal charges were filed against the cops.

“No Snitching”, now there’s a really stupid comment.  Think it through.  If the community suddenly decided to never provide information to law enforcement, to never testify in court, to never report crime, imagine what society would look like.  I’m not a little guy, I’m armed, (nope, I’m not a cop), and we’re security cautious.  It’s probable that me and mine would be fairly safe.  There would be no order, you would not be safe in your home, and your property would not be safe.  Your loved ones would be at risk for attack.  Remember that the community has decided not to “snitch” ever.  It’s totally up to the cops to enforce the law.  If your neighbor saw your loved ones raped, there would be no witnesses to report the crime, to or to testify.  Do you like that thought?

When you see a cop screwing up you really should report it to the cops employing agency.  Every police agency has a routine for investigating reports of police misconduct.  I believe that the vast majority of agencies will actively investigate anonymous reports. You really can’t expect the cops’ employer to remedy bad behavior if the employer doesn’t know about it.  If you don’t have any trust in the employing agency, report the bad behavior to the authority up the chain.  You could report it to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement (the certifying agency), the county administrator, your county commissioner, or even the news media.  All it takes is a quick phone call or letter.   If you don’t help to fix it, it’ll stay broken.

Mother's Day: Good Morning, Key West. As some of you know, having already seen it, and as some of you don't already know, having not already seen it, following is the copy off the home page of  an unpolitical paid advertisement…

[America v. Cuba] What have they ever done to us to justify our cruel treatment of them? Why have we tried to destroy that peaceful and beautiful island? Their human rights violations are no worse than those of the US.

[Don’t talk about suicide] I know of no good way to inform friends and neighbors that one of their number has committed suicide.  You can resort to the professional newscaster's terminology describing the method used ("self-inflicted gunshot wound", etc), but that seems very impersonal when it's someone you know.  Maybe just a note that deaths will be posted, but the cause of death never listed, so that no one is looking to you for that info.  Let them find it in the newspaper where it can be worded in whatever way paid reporters find proper.  Close friends and family know, nobody else really needs to.

What are hot dogs made from? Video

The Publix shopping bag in your mailbox was from the postal service, a reminder for those of us who can help to fill it with canned goods and leave it by our curbs before mail delivery yesterday.  I think they call it the "curb hunger" campaign.  Food collected in those bags, and other bags, by the USPS will be donated to local food pantries to help those in need.

Many people incorrectly think that the 5th of May is Mexican Independence Day.  That is incorrect.  Mexican Independence Day is celebrated in September.  The true history of the May 5th celebration is as follows: Back in 1912 Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England.  In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in NY. This would have been the largest single shipment ever delivered to Mexico. As we know, the great ship did not make it to NY.  It hit an iceberg, sank and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about their newly discovered condiment, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great that they declared a National Day of Remembrance which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Remembrance occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as:  Sinko de Mayo.

[Publix bags]  Did you not see the advertisement on the bag sponsoring the food drive for Saturday?

Thanks for putting up with us, mom!

[Fort Dix Attackers] Will this “incident” have the slightest impact on the negotiations over the status of Kosovo? I doubt it. Why? Because Americans are dumber than the dumbest people in Europe.

[Publix shopping bag] There is nothing stopping Publix from coming to Big Pine Key. There is no retail ordinance of any kind in place. Your info is wrong.

Our neighbor here in the BPK avenues found a tame tropical big bird on his boat Friday night.  Anyone who can describe it, can take it home!  Call 872-1661.
Lost and found

[Don’t talk about suicide] Should we talk about how thousands of people die of suicide yearly?  How some are strung out on drugs or so distraught on antidepressants that it comes to a point in their mind they can't function and think their world is over?  How they can't sleep at night because the events in war have never left them and they can't take it anymore?  How some believe it's a suicide and later find it was a murder? I say this subject should be left for the doctors who are trained to talk to individuals left behind from these tragic events and leave the people who are dealing and coping alone.  I vote NO.

[Do talk about suicide] I’m both a health professional and someone with a strong family history of suicide. I seriously considered suicide a number of years ago, my sister attempted it, and my father succeeded at it. Depression precedes suicide and fortunately, the signs/symptoms of depression can often be spotted by alert family and friends (see links below) Unfortunately, it can be very difficult for them to realize that a depressed person is contemplating suicide. Believe me, a depressed person can very effectively isolate him/herself and conceal their intent to kill themselves. When I was severely depressed, suicide looked like sweet release from a prolonged psychological agony – no way was I going to talk about it and jeopardize my plan.

My heart goes out to the family and friends who will be battered by feelings of guilt, anger, and grief – all at the same time. If you know someone who is depressed, talk to them about it and urge them to get help. There should be no stigma attached. This is a potentially fatal condition that is very treatable.

For more info:;

It is bad when all my incoming email winds up in the Junk File. It is either my friends are all junk or Big Brother Billy Gates is censoring everything!

[Publix shopping bag all folded nicely] It was for whatever canned goods, non-perishables, etc. you wanted to donate to the mail carriers' food drive on Saturday--not exactly an advertising ploy, though it might seem that way.

Watch out for Jiffy Lube they’re rip-offs!

What the hell is wrong with some of you people?  Seriously.  You're complaining about crap like not bagging groceries, bus stops, and continually running police cars.   I'm embarrassed to say that you people are my neighbors. What ever happened to the easy-going lifestyle around here?

Some Sunday oddities.

[Just don't get Habitat] No you are not missing anything.  The affordable housing ownership movement is just a scam.  It is like indentured servitude; you are restricted to making less than a specified wage or loose your home.  It is a way of insuring that no one in the program will ever get ahead. The rates charged for the houses are not much less than the lower end housing free market.  Even if you start at the bottom you have the chance of getting ahead.  With affordable housing, the free market does not apply to you, even though you are making the same payments as others in your community. The restrictions on appreciation alone should keep any rational free thinking candidate from entering the program.

When I was a kid I caught a 9 foot indigo snake in Sarasota. At the time it was the largest indigo on record.  I ended up giving it to the Sarasota Jungle Gardens.  It was stolen a week later. There was quite a demand for them on the black market at the time. Besides being a good natured snake, unlike the eastern racer (the other black snake) It is coveted by Snake Charmers, as they look like a cobra when its hood is not extended. The snake charmers would let the indigo's crawl around where they sat, while they kept their attention on the real cobra.  The last interesting tidbit is that an adult indigo snakes favorite food is rattle snake.

[Publix bag in your mailbox] No it's not (intentionally) an advertisement.  Every year the post office teams up with Publix.  You take that bag, but new canned goods, or non-perishable food items, put them back in the bag, and your postal delivery person will pick it up from inside your mailbox on their next run.  The food goes to benefit, I believe, local food pantries, or the like.

[Asking about Publix bag causes man to move] What the hell happened to the Keys of the 70's and 80's?  So many mean spirited, smart assed people worrying about what everybody else is doing. Did you bother to figure out what the bag was for? Did you open your heart and open your pantry?  Or did you expect Publix and Winn Dixie and everyone else to give a couple of cans of food, while you looked for the boogey-man under your double-wide.

Your attitude is what's wrong with the Keys and why I left. There was a Publix bag in my mailbox too, 280 miles north of Big Pine Key. Do you think they were lobbying Lake Placid, FL too?  (Yes, I did my part, as did my neighbors.)

Sharing is caring. Try it; it feels better than bitching.

[Talk about an invasive species] I don't quite understand your post, but raccoons may be the number two predator of the marsh rabbit and should probably be removed from sensitive areas. It is certainly unfortunate that man has so severely disrupted the balance of nature that we must consider culling native predators, but in this case (on public lands that sustain endangered rabbits) I think it is probably warranted.  I'm very sorry to have to say this to you, but, "Have another beer."

As far as yard varmints, rats, iguanas, cats, etc. I suggest .22 caps. They are more accurate and quieter than my pellet gun. Head shots are essential and only shoot in a safe direction.

For you birders or those just interested in what birds are blowing in. Please frequent the migration link Badbirdz - Reloaded   Thanks for the info. I wish everyone in the Keys had your interest, but unfortunately, most people down here came from up north and don't have a clue about our special environment. Just check out their comments about free-roaming cats. It's so sad.

The government bureaucracy of the Keys must come to an end. How much more of this can we take? My ass is becoming pretty raw. We as a community of citizens must voice our concerns. I am voting against every single incumbent we have. Our representatives currently in power owe me some serious cash from all the tax money they receive from the developments they approve. The last I knew, America was a free country and the Keys are apart of this union. But what I see contradicts my assumptions. We may be living in a society that feeds us propaganda that we happily eat. Are we really free? Am I allowed to travel to Cuba and buy some fresh Cuban cigars? Once upon a time people believed in liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but the government has different ideas. The more government we have the more corruption is bound to happen. The more power we give up the more power they consume.

The population of jewfish in the Keys has exploded. I have been seeing just as many jewfish as black groupers in the water both out back and on the reef. One thing I have not been seeing on the reef is large schools of large mangrove snapper. What has happened to all the large mangrove snapper schools on the reef?

Hilary Clinton said when she gets to the White House that she will be lifting the rugs and can only wonder what she'll find.  Hell, she'll probably find plenty of small things left over from her husband!

I was the one who wrote the post about the cop speeding through the blinking light on Watson.  Thursday I called the dispatcher to ask them to send someone over to the field as the locals were speeding through the light again. Someone was sent and arrived rather quickly.  He sat below the light with his lights on (bad way to catch speeders, letting them know he was there).  He stayed there for quite a while doing nothing and people did slow down, but not to 15mph.  Then at one point he took off from a dead stop and made 40mph in about 10 seconds, and in 5 minutes he was back again in the same spot.  Obviously no ticket was given.  This time I got his car number. The first time I was not in a position to get the speeders car number.  And I do have balls, even though I am not a man, I will call this week and ask the duty officer to explain to me why this area is badly patrolled especially during games and practices, since I did call in the beginning of season and asked for patrols there.  The first time I called, the officer gave out between 8-15 tickets, from what people told me. If the light is on and someone gets hit by a car (there are children who come there that do not participate in the games.) I wonder who will be responsible.   I always wanted to move to a third world county

Thanks Postal workers.
You guys and gals did a great service for our community during your food drive. Kudos are in order.

My sincere apologies to the attorneys representing the two punk-ass jerks that killed the gator at the Blue hole. I am sorry that you getting continuances to put off the trial has not lessened in our minds the atrocity they committed.  I think it would be just to bang a sub sandwich on the ground until they come over to investigate and gouge their eyes out like they did with that poor animal. I have known that the punishment they will ultimately receive will not be sufficient. It never is in animal cruelty cases. We, as human beings, have been given dominion over the care of innocent animals; wild or domestic. God entrusted us with this and it is time to take our responsibility seriously.  I can only hope that the court will come down on them as hard as the law will allow. This whole issue is just so damn sad.

President Bush hosted a state dinner to honor Queen Elizabeth’s visit to the White House. The President said to impress his honored guest he learned a few phrases in English.

I thought the Publix bag was for an annual food drive so I put in some canned goods and hung it on my flag.  It was taken by the mail delivery person.  Anyway, that's my guess instead of getting all concerned about it relax and pray for another hurricane free summer.

Doesn’t it seem strange that with elections so close that gas prices have gone down? It kind of makes you think the two are related, doesn’t it?

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Sunday May 13, 2007


Saturday May 12, 2007

The Florida Division of Forestry in Big Pine Key would like to thank all fire/law enforcement personnel who put their lives on the line to save life and property Wednesday night. We also would like to thank those who fed us and provided a cold drink when we needed it the most. Many agencies were involved including fire crews from north Florida that sacrificed time and energy away from their families and drove hundreds of miles to help. Despite the many rumors heard, this fire was not an accident, or a control burn that got out of hand.

It was intentionally set and we will continue to investigate to find out who our arsonist is. This is one major reason why support for our community fire wise workshops is of utmost importance. The negative comments come from those who do not want their privacy disturbed by creating a defensible space around their homes and yet they will be the first ones calling us for help when a wildfire is close to their home or property. This is the time to be mindful of the vagrants that live in the woods as well as where our children are and what activities they do after school. It could mean your life or the lives of those protecting your homes. It was evident that our community pulled together and got through another potential disaster without the loss of life or home.

To our arsonist: if you think it's no big deal to start a little fire in our community, click on the link and see what happens to arsonists who wind up killing fire personnel from intentionally set fires!

Senior Forest Ranger, Joe Cangemi, BPK Ranger Station

Wilma's Great Grandmother. The gift of my little acre of land and knock-down trailer on Little Torch Key and $10,000 cash I was directed to make to Florida Hometown Democracy did not work out. After telling FHD's heart and soul, Lesley Blackner, about it, I then was directed to make the offer to her personally. She had put her own funds into it and had kept it going and now had run out of money and was on the verge of having to shut it all down.

It looked to me that God wanted to compensate Lesley for all her hard work and make sure she was provided for, and perhaps she would use some of it, or perhaps more than some of it to continue her efforts through FHD. Lesley decided she didn't want to take the gifts in her own name, and that is how it didn't work out…Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

When I was a little kid my friends and I built a “campfire” in the middle of a dry field in the middle of summer. The ensuing fire destroyed the whole field and about ten acres of forest. The amazing thing was that not one out of the four of us ever told anyone. We were so scared I can still remember the fear.

Someone said that the "cloudy" atmosphere is actually smoke from the Florida fires that is drifting down here. It seems like America is on fire.

Big Pine & Lower Keys Rotary Club Golf Tournament at Sombrero Country Club on May 19th.  Shotgun at 9:00 am.  Visit for details.

Amazing the FKAA is at it again.  No phase 3 restriction for Monroe County.  Now they have a project going on College rd. that involves pressure washing several water tanks.  They want to raise the price for water and have us do without because of there failure to plan for the future.  I will continue to save and follow the rules however it is hard to swallow when the government doesn’t have to.  This waste is even tougher to explain to the children how some people are exempt.  Someone should look into this.

I just read an article published by USDA Wildlife Services pointing out that raccoons eat both plants and animals, including mice and rabbits. We have a family of at least four raccoons on our adjacent lot who coexist peacefully with our outdoor cats (who, by the way, have been tested for feline diseases, spayed/neutered, and regularly vaccinated). We haven't found any rabbit bodies, but we did find a dead bird a couple of years ago. Does that count? Does the local Fish & Wildlife service plan to target raccoons next? How about hawks and eagles since they prey on rabbits? All we'll have left in the Keys will be humans. Talk about an invasive species!

Since Ms. Morkill pointed out that cat prints were found in over half of their sand plots, did this come out to 54% by any chance?

The best Moondogs CD is “Blue'll Get Ya”. Its on the internet.

There was a new plastic Publix shopping bag, all folded nicely, in our mail box Friday. Is that an advertising ploy? Do they want the commission to change the retail ordinance to allow them on the island? Has anyone else received a bag in their mailbox?

[Things I hate] The fact that the Caucasian community has no one to stand up for us should we say something out of line. 

The war on terrorism that is killing many of our great soldiers--for what? Where in the hell is Osama Bin Laden?

People that refuse to bag their own groceries in the supermarket. 

Illegal aliens that refuse to learn the language that all of our forefathers learned after arriving on Ellis Island, not to mention all the handouts they get just because they ended up in our waters!  Most of our Great Grandfathers and Grandmothers never received any kind of federal help, because there was none available.  They were so happy to be here, that they found a trade and learned how to communicate.  They weren't sucking the life out of the welfare system like the illegals are doing today.

OJ Simpson’s lawyer.  Both OJ and his lawyer should be dragged behind a truck and hung. The audacity of OJ writing a book about the murders; then his lawyer willing to stand up when he gets kicked out of a restaurant. Kudos to Jeff Ruby!  Maybe if more people did this to him he would finally slit his own throat.

People still defending Pit Bulls. I hope your children, nieces and nephews are still around in four to five years with all of their limbs still attached.

Lastly, where in the hell is all of the affordable housing

Why can’t we use desalinated water during this drought until the rains come in a few weeks.

[Habitat for Humanity] I would not buy a house when I cannot own the property it resides on. Someone throw me a bone here, because I just don't get it.

Is John Bartus one of the Moondogs?

What every man wants in bed
. It just doesn’t get any better than this. Video

Someone mentioned that cops are the ones who get in between "us" and "them". I agree whole heartedly with that comment.  It is usually "them" who make the cowardly complaints on internet forums as shown by the person who made two posts yesterday.  And yes, the words used made it more than obvious the same person posted twice.  And when it's not "them," it's people who really have no common sense.  I have just a couple of things I'd like to say. 

Most of "us" go about our lives with a sense of respect for the law and the officers who enforce it.  We rarely have interaction with police, but we know they are there if we need them.  Most of "us" greet officers as sir or ma'am.  Most of "us" slow down and put on our seatbelts in the vicinity a cop, not just in fear of getting a ticket, but out of respect.  Most of "us" do not drive up and down the highway counting cops just to make an internet complaint, or complain because we were let off with a cheap no-points seatbelt ticket instead of the moving violation we got pulled over for.  And as far as the shooting of unarmed blacks and old ladies, I'm not aware of one single incident of that nature in the Keys involving our local cops--ever.  If you want to live your life hating authority, that's fine with me.  But I'm glad the cops are there to respond when you are lurking around in my neighborhood. (Ed: They were two different people who posted on this subject yesterday. We try to be alert to the same person writing multiple posts on the same subject in which case we sometimes consolidate their posts or only publish the more pertinent one.)

Indigo snakes
are heavy bodied.  A 3 ft indigo is about 1 1/2" thick in the middle. Those skinny black snakes are black racers, they are real common. I haven't seen an indigo for about 4-5 years now.

Thanks for bringing me up to date on the situation with the Blue Hole alligator killers.  I had wondered what had happened to that case.  Please keep us updated as to the trial dates, because I will definitely be in the courtroom

As much as I would like to say something nice about MCSD, after today at Winn Dixie (big pine) there was a deputy’s' car in the parking lot running when I went in WD and when I came out 20 or so minutes later it was still running, burning gas. No there wasn't anyone or animal in the vehicle. So, no, I didn't find anything nice to report about are County’s finest today.

[vacation rental ban] Kudos to the poster who provides us with insights into the short term rental business.  It’s refreshing and a downright pleasure to hear from an investor whose sense of community overrides the profit motive.  It looks like the poster’s profit was minimal.  The poster suggests that his venture was problematic in terms of expense and effort.  My guess is that this poster probably was a single unit owner and was renting the house as a means of helping to pay the mortgage on a future retirement home. 

There are many real estate industry business people who own multiple residential properties and are anxious to have the profits from legalized short term rental.  These business people have contempt for those of us who live here.  At this moment there are literally scores of listings on the web for vacation rentals in Keys residential neighborhoods.  Many of these listers flaunt the law and offer short term rentals.  It makes you wonder what’s up with Code Enforcement!  The short term rental ban was passed in 1997.  According to Florida DOT the average daily car count from 1997 through 2005 on US1, near Key Deer, has increased by more than 7%.  It sure looks like the ban didn’t inhibit legitimate tourism and vehicles passing through our commercial corridor.

(Ed: People keep writing in wanting to know how our friend and neighbor died. We don’t know how to handle this subject without hurting his family or friends. Someone suggested that it might help others if we were more able to identify the signs leading up to suicide. Another friend of ours did the same thing here last year and no one talked about it either. Is suicide still taboo to talk about? What should we do?)

Kudos to Winn Dixie! I went in there this morning for the first time in a couple of weeks and immediately noticed a difference. It was brighter, the floors were shiny, all the staff were wearing uniform shirts and approved pants, the shelves were stocked and straight and the employees seemed much happier and friendlier. I also noticed that the shopping carts were not all over the parking lot. Good job!

I don't think that the Federal Government should be taking care of the Feral Cat problems anywhere in this great country.   Don't we have any conservationist left in this country?   As the old sheep herders would say, "Shoot them, shovel them and shut up.” The .22 rim fire rifle is the finest tool to control the cat population. Once you feels that it is safe to shoot, don't stick the barrel out the window.  Secondly, only shoot once. Third, Remington sells sub-sonic ammunition which produces less noise then conventional ammunition.    Another option would be to live trap them and take them fishing.

Yea! It’s almost hurricane season again! Powers that be, get out your citation books, and start shaking your fingers at God. Hey, does anyone know the address to an internet sight called sex tonight?

OK, OK they’re gone. Great. Yep, we have Big Pine Key to ourselves. Great, I can go to W/D. Great—Not! I have no money. Like every May it cuts both ways. I am in the people business and this time of the year is tough even when I plan for it. I see most if not all of the bars, shops and people places have lots of open parking spaces. Great.  I don’t have to wait for those damn northerners to get out of the way. Great. That guy at Key Deer who’s been working 25 hours a day can take a break. Bills are the same as they are in December. Great—Not! Now we wait for June when school’s out and we get a little bump. By then most of us working folks will be badly bent if not broke. Then it gets worse if there’s any storms and June is off like last year. Great, we have the whole place to ourselves. Great.

[45 The Hungarian] The very first day in Budapest when I went outside I felt like I was still in a dream. The avenue is very impressive; it has two-way motor traffic in the middle, then on each side a strolling path with flowerbeds and trees. On the outside of the strolling paths is a roadway for traffic and only from this lane can cars turn off the avenue. The avenue was the only street in the city that had a subway running under it. It was the first subway in Europe. It's not a subway in the strictest sense, a tunnel wasn't bored underground. It was done the Hungarian way, a deep trench was dug, tracks trains and everything were put in it, then it was covered over. It still works to this day. Heroes Plaza is at the end of the avenue, it is also called Millennium Memorial.  It was completed in 1900 when Hungary was a 1000 years old. It is the most visited memorial in the city. In the middle of the plaza is a tall column with an angel on top, representing Hungaria. Around the column is a marble pedestal and on it is the, three times larger than life, mounted statues of the seven chiefs of the seven tribes of the Magyars. To the left and right of the column and a little to the rear are two quarter circles, each of which holds the statues of Hungarian kings; starting with the first St. István and the last which was Károly. Under each statue is a bronze relief depicting a significant event from that king’s life. Behind this huge memorial is a man made lake. From spring thru the fall there are row boats that can be rented. Before the first freeze most of the water is drained then the people can use the lake for ice skating. At one end of the lake is a full size replica of the castle of Vajdahunyad. It’s just like the original with gate and moat, the bridge is permanent. All around it is a park with well kept lawns and strolling paths, benches, and lots of trees, it is the main city park--Város Liget in Hungarian. On the edge of the park is the city zoo and the National Circus. Jolly Park is next to the circus and the park has all kind of rides: Ferris Wheel, Bumper cars. Merry-go-round, Roller Coaster, Haunted house, and many more. Across from Jolly park is a fancy building painted Habsburg yellow with domes, towers and lots of glass. Statues of semi-nude ladies decorate the walls and parapets. This place is the Szécsényi Fürdő (Szécsényi Baths). The mineral rich waters come from deep in the earth and have healing properties. The waters are naturally hot and have to be mixed with cold water to be comfortable. It is a place to swim, soak in the thermal waters and catch some rays. The Hungarian

[Are they going to build levees around the Keys when the sea rises] Good news. Puppet master Dick Chaney has announced that Halliburton will construct the new project and the Bush brothers will oversee the project considering they are not doing anything important at the moment.

[Instead of complaining endlessly, do something about it] What! You mean I have to get off my fat lazy ass and do something? I could miss something on Fox News "Fair and Balanced" or on the the Coconut Telegraph. If the shoe fits…

For you birders or those just interested in what birds are blowing in. Great Bobolink photo's! Please frequent the migration link
Badbirdz - Reloaded  

Please post sightings there and support that site. Those in the Northeast  can visit

Big Pine & Lower Keys Rotary Club is doing a “Dream Vacation Getaway” Raffle. Stay tuned for more info.

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Saturday May 12, 2007


Friday May 11, 2007

[Iraq’s government is getting ready to take a 2 month vacation] And people say we're not teaching them anything!

I see lots of comment on this site regarding pro and con on short term rentals.  I was a short term rental landlord for years - from 1987 until the rental ban was passed by referendum.  I made some money, spent lots of time and way too much money on continual cleanup and repairs.  I still have my home on BPK and spend several weeks a year there and intend to live there most of the year when I can finally retire someday.

In retrospect, short term was good for me, but bad for my neighbors.  Who wants to live next door to a home where a group of strangers arrive every Saturday, do the same erratic, noisy and generally stupid (drunken) things week after week.  There are economic issues pro and con for short term rentals.  Bottom line: it's against the law in an improved subdivision.  My recommendation is for residents to fight any attempt to overturn the rental ban.  If an investor wants to have short term rentals let them go to one of the new "cities" where they are permitted by law. After all, building permits and rentals are the only reasons all the new cities exist.

[Al Sharpton, slammed the Mormon religion] For once and only once I agree with shit head Sharpton that the Mormon religion is not a religion but a business. They do not abide by our laws, adhere to any Draft, pay any income taxes, vote, and recognize any other religions and do what they damn well please. Yet they have billions of dollars and the biggest computer information system on the planet for keeping information on everybody.  They are dangerous people!

[Cay Clubs fires workers before going “public”] Why doesn't Cay Clubs let go of the 6 figure salaries versus all the regular Joe's??  How bout' the big boy's take some big pay cuts too.  Lets see if this A&B thing goes through.

[Cops not obeying the law] The only people I know that like cops and trust cops are cops. I have no respect for the local cops anymore. And I don't care what anyone has to say about it. The more you deal with the local cops the more incompetent you realize they are. Some may be nice people, but I have not met one that knows the law or how to do his or her job. If it's any consolation to our local cops it seems like cops everywhere don't understand the law or at least that they have to abide by it. They should have to renew their badge every few years by taking cop improvement courses, they obviously need it. We have cops beating up female bartenders and fellow cops trying to cover it up (organized crime?). Yea go tell the sheriff. A cop even ruffed up a lady trying to see her father in the hospital. Just about every other day you hear on the news about cops shooting unarmed black men and sometimes armed old ladies. No knock warrants? What do you expect to happen? You have to earn respect. No snitching. I wouldn't tell a cop what time it is. What has a cop done for you today? Find your red bike?

[British rats] Ananova - Dog-size rats take over power station

[Report cops breaking the law] What are you nuts? Cops are the law. If you report one of them you would have to move. Cops only know violence and revenge and pay lip service to everything else. Yea, sure, report a Sheriff, ha, ha.

Indigo snakes rarely get larger than a cat can kill. Most indigo snakes I’ve seen here are about 2-3 feet long and about the size of my thumb in diameter.

[Feral cars] We have feral cars now too? (Ed: Sorry, it was spell check, I swear!)

[bus stops] Your first mistake was thinking that any form of government and common sense go together.

onserve water.

Americans are being robbed blind by the oil industry or in other terms: screwed royally.

Who is John Bartus that did that Keys Disease CD?

When you’re right you’re right. The environmental Deputy did a great job making everyone clean up there mess at the corner of Linda and Loma.

[Can a restaurant refuse service just because the owner dislikes someone?  Last week on Derby Eve, O.J. Simpson was refused service at an upscale Louisville restaurant.] Yes, contrary to Big Pine belief, the owner of any establishment can refuse the services of his or her business to anyone as long as the decision is not based on race, creed, color.  Meaning that if you call or visit any service company in the Keys for any reason, and they figure out you're a moron, they too, can refuse to provide you service.

Jeff Ruby owns the restaurant and has a problem with a perceived (because he was found not guilty) murderer dining in his restaurant.  He asks the probable murderer nicely "to leave" based on his possible past actions and not the color of his skin. Jeff Ruby proved this by his actions: "Five minutes after Simpson left, Ruby seated Michael Jordan and a party of 30."  Clearly Mr. Ruby has no problem with race…just murderers; or maybe Mr. Ruby don't like football players, or perhaps Mr. Jordan had a reservation or…

"Simpson's lawyer, making a move right out of Simpson's play book, says he'll take legal action against Ruby, claiming race discrimination."  Clearly Simpson's attorney is a moron, based on his statement of threat.

Bear this in mind as it applies even in Big Pine Key: If the owner of any restaurant doesn’t want to hear your crap, they can toss your ass out!


[Let sleeping dogs lie] Back on the Pit Bull dog controversy. There is some new scientific research data which could explain many of the negative Pit Bull incidents. It seems that when young, Pit Bulls are generally gentle, loving and playful, like most other dog breeds. However, between the age of two to three years the genetic evolutionary selective breeding kicks in and they very often turn mean and aggressive. This is usually not caused by the way the dog has been raised or handled. It is genetic. It’s not the dog’s fault really, but when a child is attacked and severely mauled that is not relevant! There are plenty of other wonderful dog breeds which do not follow this negative genetically dictated path.  If you have young children, why subject them to this potential future danger? Now that you have read this you have been warned.

I spotted 2 Bobolinks in my neighborhood (Eden Pines) today.

[Fire on Big Pine Key] Actually it started Wednesday afternoon.

[Indigo snakes]  Do you think that Indigoes are born 7 feet long and therefore immune to cat predation? If so, you are mistaken, and very stupid. 

I have come to the realization that feral cats are actually Weapons of Mass Destruction. Mine has never brought home a Marsh Rabbit although I have seen them fly by in the claws of Eagles.

To the owner of the 11month old pit-bull. I hope you're right about how wonderful pit bulls are. Write us back in about four years and let us know how things went. Best of luck.

[The trouble with Islam] A few video words about the world's fastest growing religion.

DOE Awards MCSD for Guinness World Records in Reading, Parent Involvement at Switlik School. Education Commissioner Jeanine Blomberg recently announced two awards for Monroe County School District. April 20th Stanley Switlik was selected as a regional winner to receive the Florida Department of Education/State PTA Parent Involvement Award. On May 8 Commissioner Blomberg confirmed Monroe County middle school students helped break the record for the “Most People Reading Aloud Simultaneously in Multiple Locations” in the Guinness World Records™.

Almost 3,500 dead Americans because were trying to turn Iraq into a Democracy and their Government decides "no big deal lets take 2 months off for vacation".

Enjoy your vacation guys. Don’t worry the Republicans will extend our kids’ tours for 3 months so you can sip pomegranate juice and tea. How nice.

A picture of a boater with only seconds to live!

If you think the oil companies are ripping off the American motoring public. The French, Dutch, Russian, and the Hungarian MOL oil company has the Hungarians bent over and screwing us. Three years ago I thought $4 was a lot of money for a gallon of gas. Many people complained and MOL reduced the price to $3.95 and two months later raised it to $5 a gallon. It has been that price since and no relief in sight.

I totally agree with the post yesterday about the so-called "misunderstood youths" that killed our little alligator, Cola, over a year ago.  These young adults (they were 18 & 19 at the time of the killing) are still walking the streets because their defense attorneys keep telling the judge that they are not ready for a trial...not ready?  Give me a break!  They're just delaying it as much as possible, hoping the public will forget about it.  Well, we're not going to forget or forgive.  The next pretrial hearing is May 29, with possible trial the week of June 4.  I understand they are still collecting signatures on the petition; so far they've gotten over 4,500 signatures.  That public pressure is the only reason this case hasn't already been dropped, with just a slap on the wrist of the guilty.

And, yes, they knew what they were doing.  One of them, on, was bragging to another about how they got the gator, and they knew it was wrong, but they figured that if they got caught, it would only be a misdemeanor, but they were surprised that the charge was a third degree felony.  One of them also admitted, in their confession, that they had been there the night before, trying to get the gator, so it was definitely premeditated.

What some people don't seem to understand is that this kind of disturbing behavior is a warning sign.  Studies have proven that this kind of behavior, if not stopped, can lead to much worse, such as child molesting, wife beating, serial killing, etc.

I hope that, when it goes to trial that the courtroom is full of people crying for justice for the critters.  If you do the crime, you should do the time.

Oh God! Asian women are statistically the worst drivers, now they are arming themselves.

Things I hate: People who are so scared of reality, they will not face the possibility that we might lose this country to 1.5 billion Muslims and die in the process.

Things I like:  People who see what religion is all about and recognize the insanity of the greatest con job in history!

Does anyone not know these two hombres?

And these three biker couples?

[Tony Blair has quit his job. He’s had enough, so has England. America has lost a good friend.] What a joke this statement is. America didn't lose a "good friend" we gained a tiny bit more freedom from our English owners. America is still owned by the old European families and will always be. We the People are just renting the dirt!

[44 The Hungarian] School was not working out for me. I was failing Russian and that was bad news, I didn't want to repeat the grade, I would have to burn a lot of midnight oil to pass. I was hoping that the move to Budapest might bail me out. The sale of our house was finalized and we had to vacate in sixty days. One of the collectives bought our property to be used for worker’s lodgings. Dad bought a house for his parents on the north end of the village. Joe and Susie would stay with them for the time being. Gramps had to find a livery for Yellow because there wasn't a stable at the new house. Granny had to go to the hospital, her kidneys were acting up. The sixty days went fast, it was time to say my goodbyes to my friends. Saying goodbye to Búcsi was the hardest, we shared so many things, good and bad during the past few years. When I hugged him tears flooded my eyes, and he said to me, "Don' worry, buddy, we will see each other during the summer." "Yeah, sure, Jóska, we will." More than forty summers went by until we saw each other again. The company loaned dad a large truck to move all our things to Budapest. Friends and neighbors came to help with the packing and loading, Nanah was there too. Parting from her was the hardest. I hugged her and thanked her for all she did for me, kissed her on both cheeks, then we parted. I never saw that sweet old lady again. I feel so guilty, even now, that I never wrote her a letter or even a postcard. I know she would have enjoyed a letter. Mom and Steve rode in the cab with the diver. Dad and I were in the back under the canvas. It was none too warm back there and the diesel fumes of the truck tended to roll in the back. By the time we arrived at our destination I was feeling sick...The Hungarian

Nice picture of the male Bobolink, Ed. By the way, I saw my first white crowned pigeon of the year today on Cudjoe Key.

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Friday May 11, 2007


Thursday May 10, 2007

[Cop on cell phone while speeding] Instead of complaining about Sheriff's deputies endlessly, do something about it. Note the date, time, place and the number on the car (they all have distinct numbers). Then call your local substation and ask for the Lieutenant in charge. Give him the details and the deputy will hear about it. If you aren't comfortable with that, write a letter to Sheriff Rick Roth himself. He reads all his mail and he takes citizen complaints very seriously. His mailing address is 5525 College Road, Key West, FL 33040. It is completely useless to make general comments about deputies doing things wrong if you aren't going to go that extra step and do something about it.

I hope, though, that everyone remembers deputies are the ones who stand between "us" and "them". When you need help because you've become a victim of a crime, or are sick and need assistance they are the ones who are there when no one else is. It sure would be nice to read a few "good" stories from those who have used Sheriff's Office services, not just the whiners who have nothing better to do.

Are they going to build levees around the Keys when the sea rises?

I had a goat with no nose and my friend asked, “How does he smell?” I said, “Not bad for an old goat.”

[Tales from the Old Country] Not hardly! I thought you claimed to have Hungarian roots. Even a stupid Hungarian knows that there are no termites in the old country. Only a stupid Pollack wouldn't know that, or maybe you are a Slovak, they are a grade below the Pollack’s. The Slovaks don't have toilet paper, they hang a rag in the outhouse and you have to find a clean spot to use. A real stupid Slovak hangs a brown rag, and then you have to rip off your shirt sleeve. I hope others find your post amusing, sorry I don't.

African-American is used to tell the other person that you are referring to a black person. Many times it’s helpful to refer to people’s race or religion to clarify an issue or to make a point. African-Americans no longer wish to be called Negros because it reminds them of slavery and they don’t want to be called black because they discriminate among themselves based on the different shades of color. So they’re left with African-American. It’s easier on all accounts so get over it and get with it.

I don’t do my part in trying to conserve water because I know when it runs out all we have to do is fire up the Stock Island desalination plant and we’ll have plenty of fresh water.

[Rubik Cube] I have a friend who’s the head of a European advertising company who’s claim to fame is that he turned down the rights to the Rubik Cube. He’s still crying in his beer.

[misunderstood youths] Don't think for a minute that they were misunderstood, everyone knew what they had done. I had the misfortune the other day of standing next to one of the little shits that did it. He was suppose to be going into the Army or something, and now I still see him roaming the streets of Big Pine like nothing had happen. Some might say, whoop-te-doo about the alligator or "Ah, they were just kids being kids." Well, I say bullshit. I'll be the first to admit I wasn't an angel growing up and I did some stupid stuff, but never ever got near the "breaking the Federal Law" line let alone run across it and look back at it and laugh. They were adults when they killed the gator and just like any other adult that gets caught breaking the law, the should be punished.

Come on people, it wasn't a Gecko they threw into the canal, it was an Alligator, one of a few we have here in the Keys. They brutally killed it, and then intended on having a BBQ with it. This kind of disturbed behavior can not, and should not be tolerated here, or any other place. If we allow this to continue, the un-corrected young ones of our society, what will this place be in 10-20 years? Another mid town Miami, with gangs, raping, armed robberies?

We all moved here for a more peaceful way of life than where we were. Don't you think it would be a good idea to try to keep it like that? The justice system had better wake up.

There's a fire on Big Pine this morning. I don't know where it is but the helicopter is carrying buckets of seawater from the north end of Newfound Harbor to put it out. Helicopter Video

I love the apologist for the Refuge who claims that cats not only kill rabbits but that there are other “victims” as well like indigo snakes.  Indigo snakes are heavy bodied snakes that can grow to be 7 feet long.  I’m guessing they are more likely to eat the cat than the other way around.

Iraq’s government is getting ready to take a 2 month vacation. Unbelievable. We're in this "surge" and they decide to take 2 months off. I’m stunned at the Republican Party. It boggles my mind they wont force Iraqis to fight for themselves or at least be held accountable. Iraqis wont even  stay at work while our sons and daughters are trapped in a civil war. 2 months off for vacation? Unbelievable, screw them.

There goes all your "pillow case" money!  This World Money is another ploy to delete all hidden cash. It was tried in the '30's and didn't work. Too many egos in foreign countries with their pictures on their bills and coins.  But, today, with the propaganda of The New World Order and World Domination, paper (flat) money and coinage, will be history. The Debit Card will rule until the embedded transponders are injected (as most of the military already have) and people will be logged on at wake up. Precious metals and stones will be worth!  The sickies at the Top are winning!

More potty humor. Video

[Feral cars] The refuge finally relented and will not kill the cats. They will bring them to the animal shelter. Finally the cat ladies can sleep at night.

That Grumman flying-boat that was pictured the other day, was not a Mallard, but an Albatross.

[beating a dead horse] I'm the owner of the 11month old pit-bull from an earlier posting. I continue to read postings and it seems to me all you people can come up with is bad things about them. I'm sure there's plenty of people who have gotten bit by other dogs. I've been bitten by a chow for example. The only people who realize pit bulls can be good are the people that own them because we go by our instincts not rumors. I'm sure if pit bulls were illegal in the Keys then the shelters wouldn't be adopting them out. They are illegal in Miami. My mom didn't like pit-bull either, now she loves my puppy. If I had a bigger house I would get more pit-bull puppies. It's the best dog I've ever had and I've owned, Huskies, chows, Dobermans, labs, and beagles. And to whoever wrote about us getting them just for guard dogs and not for cuddling: I love cuddling with my dog and using her as a pillow. She loves laying with me and my boyfriend while we watch a movie. She loves playing with my boyfriend’s nieces who are all young. She loves to just play and she’s a very happy dog. Why don't you all give up on wanting to kill dogs with bad reputations? I'm sure you wouldn't want us to kill your "innocent" dogs. This topic really pisses me off. It shows how stupid people can be.

I'm sorry, but this is the only mental image I get when I read the E-mails from the bitter old people. You know, the ones that complain about every thing.

[bitch, bitch, bitch] What is up with those bus stops? Didn't the DOT do any studies or question the bus drivers to see just how many people actually use the buses? Those stops are barely big enough to hold 2 kids, let alone 3-5 people. I drove passed one the other day and there were 3 people waiting for the bus. It was a hot sunny day and they were standing outside the covered area. Now how cramped up did the DOT think we were going to get, during a hot day in Florida, waiting for a bus for 15-30 minutes? I think they wanted to find out just how many people they can cram into a booth like they used to do in the old days. My god, the seat is barely big enough for 2 adults to sit and another standing beside them, let alone if they have any baggage with them, or kids. And hopefully, they all have bathed recently.

Once again, Big Pine gets a screwing.  Don't make them any bigger, more people may just use the buses and they might just keep them operating this time! Wouldn't want that now would we? Where o' where did common sense go?

Where have all these little tweedy birds come from? they just showed up this week it seems.

I don't get it! The data being used to determine how many marsh rabbits are killed by feral cats was obtained in the 90's by tracking marsh  rabbits that were wearing collars (according to this morning's Key West Citizen). So, based on data that are somewhere between seven and 17 years old, Fish & Wildlife has decided that feral cats are killing 54% of our marsh rabbits. I'm still scratching my head about today's statement that "the refuge's reviewing data from sand plot surveys that will tell them where the feral cats are in regard to the marsh rabbits' habitat". Ms. Morkill is then quoted as stating, "The cats are actively using the marsh rabbit patches". Well maybe, but she just said she doesn't know where the feral cats are! A report in the paper last week indicated that a cat paw print was found on one sand plot. Now F&W is insisting that they've been found "...on at least half of those". I agree that preserving an endangered species is important, but this sounds like another government orgy of misinformation manipulated to whip up a hotbed of reactionary conservatism.

[Max misses the Keys] Have you guys totally left Paradise for good? We miss you all and please give Max and Shelby hugs and kisses from us. Hope you guys are doing well in North Carolina.

[Mile Marker 24 Big Band] On Friday May 11, we are going to be under the stars and out on the patio (room for everyone) at Boondocks on Ramrod Key, MM 27.5. This is “Margarita Night” and there will be all sorts of specials, give-aways and just plain old fun! The show starts at 7:00 PM.

Then on Saturday May 12, we will be at the Sugarloaf KOA on Sugarloaf Key, MM 20 for their Camp For Cancer weekend. This is for a great cause and will be a wonderful evening. We’re going to crank up the big band Saturday night as well. Both Friday and Saturday are free shows, open to the public, and start at 7:00 PM.    

On Sunday May 13, we are playing for an event to raise money for the Boys and Girls Clubs of Key West, Big Pine and Marathon, Florida. The event will be at Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville on Duval Street in Key West from 5:00 to 8:00 PM. Cost is $40.00 per person (Sunday only) and includes an island style buffet dinner and free margaritas. For reservations call 305-296-2258.

[I'm from the government, I'm here to help] A service station that offered discounted gas to senior citizens and people supporting youth sports has been ordered by the state to raise its prices. Center City BP owner Raj Bhandari has been offering senior citizens a 2 cent per gallon price break and discount cards that let sports boosters pay 3 cents less per gallon. But the state Department of Agriculture, Trade and Consumer Protection says those deals violate Wisconsin's Unfair Sales Act, which requires stations to sell gas for about 9.2 percent more than the wholesale price. Bhandari said he received a letter from the state auditor last month saying the state would sue him if he did not raise his prices. Bhandari, who bought the station a year ago, said he worries customers will think he stopped the discounts because he wants to make more money. About 10 percent of his customers had used the discount cards.

Dale Van Camp said he bought a $50 card to support the local youth hockey program. It would have saved him about $100 per year on gas, he said.

In case you're wondering why crude oil prices are down from last year, hanging around at about $60 a barrel, while gasoline prices have soared past $3.10/gallon nationwide, just check out the latest profit reports from the oil companies. They are at record levels.

The answer for this seeming contradiction is simple: Americans are being robbed blind by the oil industry. provides analysis, forecasts and up-to-the-minute intelligence on geopolitical, security and public policy issues. Our analysts go between the lines and beyond the headlines to make sense of the world for our members.

Slide cursor up and down page to raise and lower her t-shirt. If you're a Hooter Girls fan, you should really enjoy this!

Can a restaurant that’s open to the public refuse service just because the owner dislikes someone?  Last week on Derby Eve, O.J. Simpson was refused service at an upscale Louisville restaurant.  Jeff Ruby, the restaurant owner, said Simpson "continues to torment the families whose lives he's already ruined 15 years ago. He continues to torment them with his behavior, his conduct." Simpson had been to Ruby's Cincinnati restaurants several times before the murders in 1994 of his former wife and her friend, Ruby said. But he said Simpson's activities since his acquittal go too far, including his attempt to publish his book "O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened."  Restaurant patrons stood and applauded Ruby immediately after the incident.

Now Simpson's lawyer, making a move right out of Simpson's play book, says he'll take legal action against Ruby, claiming race discrimination. "He screwed with the wrong guy; he really did," Simpson's lawyer, Yale Galanter, told The Associated Press on Tuesday night.

Five minutes after Simpson left, Ruby seated Michael Jordan and a party of 30.

Federal charges were filed May 8 against six individuals for plotting to attack U.S. troops at Fort Dix, N.J., with assault rifles. Although al Qaeda allegedly inspired the suspects in this attempt to carry out "jihad" in the United States, the suspects bear the hallmarks of amateur jihadists, and probably were not connected to the jihadist network. The case, however, serves as a reminder to U.S. authorities that not all potential militants fit the Middle Eastern profile.

How to tie a turban:,backtwistturban.htm

Things I hate.
1. Scumbag legal types getting crooks who have stolen money from people getting off without repayment plans.
2. Anti-Snowbird comments. We need their business and lets be honest there are some great looking ones we will miss.
3. The Republican Party. Enough said.
4. Babes that smoke and swear like sailors. Not attractive.
5. I'm getting older.
6. Pointing out that at least the anti-war folks are out there protesting like you would think they should but the Pro war people are not enlisting like they expect "others" too. (Who puts their arse where their mouths are?}
Other then that I'm good.

The Moondogs only have one CD at the moment. It's called "Keys Disease" from the title track. Thank you for your support.

Everyone’s favorite bigot, Al Sharpton, slammed the Mormon religion as not being a “real religion”. I doubt much will come of his statement because there is a dual standard in America where a black man can say whatever he wants. Only a white person is held to a higher standard. Sad.

Aerials of Greensburg Tornado Damage

Alberto Gonzalez will appear before the House today for one more of his “I don’t recall” sessions. Another US Attorney has come forward saying he was fired for political reasons.

Did anyone notice all of the Bobolinks that have blown in/ migrated into BPK in the last couple of days?

Tony Blair has quit his job. He’s had enough, so has England. America has lost a good friend.

Conversation's with Barack's computer
, so far. Dear Jessica. Can you help me? Here's my problem. It's explained in an email exchange further below between Barack's computer, pretending to be Barack, and me. My reply comes first. After making that reply, I received your invitation to attend a $500-minimum fund raiser for the Obama campaign in Miami, at which Michelle Obama would appear, not Barack, and the "suggested" donation was $2,300, precisely the amount I contributed about two weeks ago, but maybe Barack's computer forgot about that? Or does the computer want me to do it again?
Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo
Is it appropriate that the Refuge manager's name is "Morkill"?

What’s up with the fire Wednesday afternoon, I was in KW and missed everything.

[43 The Hungarian] I was one angry kid! I sort of turned in on myself. I did my schoolwork, but stayed away from friends. I stayed away from everybody. A few days later it snowed and I remembered that I would be going sleigh riding with Olga. Olga’s stall was empty; the only thing left of her now was the row of pepperoni in the smoke house. Búcs knew why I was in such state and tried to bring me around, "Come on Imre, it's been more than two weeks. I hate to see you like this so snap out of it." "It's easy for you to say Jóska, you don't feel the loss that I do." "Sure I do. Don't you think I liked her too? I remember her real well. I remember the good times, not her death." "Yeah, but I've seen it all, the poor thing didn't even know." "That's right, she didn't know, keep that in mind. To her it was going out to get harnessed to the wagon and she didn't suffer." "No she didn't suffer, but I still miss her." Búcsi was a good friend and he really helped me. The blanket of gloom lifted from me during the next few days. On a bitter cold day about mid week during recess I filled my hat with wild chestnuts. I was the first one in the classroom and dumped the contents of my hat in to the stove. Five minutes in to the hour class the first chestnut went off with a bang and three more in rapid succession. Mr. Reggel jumped out of his chair and demanded, "All right, very funny. Who BANG…put the BANG BANG…the chest nu BANG...ts in the st...BANG...ove? No one said a word, but everybody looked...The Hungarian

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Thursday May 10, 2007



Wednesday May 9, 2007

I really think it was a joke the way the judge let Hendricks off. He didn't take into account the hundreds of taxpayers he screwed over. We should have had a say in his sentence. How about paying the money back, for starters? He and his good buddy, Pritham, should be sharing a cell not laughing at our legal system. He is already at Singh’s side screwing the home owners in Old Town and the city just goes along with him and this cash cow. Where is this BS going to stop? I’m a worried Keys homeowner--one of many.

[Antifreeze] Why get on Ed about posting that comment? We all know what antifreeze will do.

[And you wonder why we are having no luck in the middle east] Jerusalem's Church of the Holy Sepulcher most recently made news because of continued petty territorial fighting among the six Christian denominations that share management of the church, which is home to some of Christianity's holiest sites, including that of Christ's resurrection. As Easter approached this year, three of the groups that control one 10-stall restroom could not agree how to divide responsibility for repairing it, leading to a pervasive stench in the building. Furthermore, the path of the outflow sewage pipe (which needed enlarging) passes under property of a fourth denomination, which has resisted helping unless it is granted control of one of the 10 stalls.

The Rabbit wasn't trapped. They have to pull him in now and then for info. Kind of like Waldamar. Ever wonder how Waldamar kept getting out?

What are the names of the Moondogs CD's?

[Tales from the old country continued] I still cherish memories of the sex talks I had with my saintly grandmother back in the old country. As a teenager I remember sitting around her quaint dinner table (the termite-infested wooden crate in the back yard where she lived) for hours discussing my sex life. She told me so much about women when I was growing up; she would go into sordid detail about preferred positions, toys, lubricants etc. She also told me how some women act like sexual maniacs when they want a man, and then refuse to perform shortly after marriage. She calls these women the stiokas, or loosely translated, sex fakes. I wished I would have listened; I could have avoided lots of heartaches, not to mention frustrated nights alone beating old Shep in my bedroom. She wanted to know how the sex was with my latest girlfriend (first cousin). I told her she was okay but I would bet that with some practice she would be a worthy kre'blik (sex partner) and wife. As soon as I said this, Grandma sucked in a large breath of air and blew out a loud snort that sent mucous flying from her nose. The noise frightened Baako' our little dog so much that he jumped the fence. I remained at the table, puzzled, her snot dripping from my face. I asked her what the problem was, and she replied, " Palinka' sorvicht, palinko' vaugcht." This translates exactly into she will learn to cook, but not to f**k.

Big Bobby
, We love you!

I don’t know what this does but I’ll bet its something groovy. #shapeshifterswf

Early retirement: Re-elect no one! Dear Mr. Obama, today's email from you looks like a form letter to me. It does not appear in it that you read anything I have written to you, as late as yesterday even. In that missive, I asked that you not send me anything else to read until you had responded personally to what I was sending to you, because I was being told by your and my Creator in dreams to send it to you. Each time I replied to something you sent to me, I got an email back saying no one was reading those emails and to send my thoughts through another Internet method provided in the reply email. When I did that, I got form emails back. I’m going to send this email now, to see if I get the same response...Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

[eradicate the vermin] Speaking of that, what ever happened to the misunderstood local youth's that killed the alligator in the blue hole?

I didn't want to toot my own horn, but the first time I saw the name Sárközy I knew it was Hungarian. The literal translation to English means “mud alley”.

Did you guys know that Johny Weismuller (Tarzan) was Hungarian?  Drew Barrymore’s mother was Hungarian.  Edward Teller the inventor of the H-Bomb was a Hungarian. A Hungarian named Joseph Galamb was chief engineer at Ford in 1905 and was responsible for the design of the Model T. Donat Banki invented the carburetor in 1893 he was a professor of engineering at a Hungarian university. The Hungarian Josef Bíró invented the ballpoint pen in 1900 (an American invented it earlier, but it didn't work, the success of Bíró had to do with the ink). Tivadar Puskás built the first telephone exchange. Ernő Rubik is Hungarian you all know what he invented. I didn't want to believe this until I looked it up. The Emperor of Madagascar was Hungarian. Then there was Béla Lugosi (Dracula) Freddy Princz (Chico) the Gábor sisters, several big time producers and directors and movie moguls. Godamn hungarians got in everywhere.

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Pay Clubs

[Majestic Security is the company that screwed me] I figured that out way back when you posted the message with your email address “MajesticSucks…” I’m glad they never returned my inquiry for a job or they might owe me money too.

This is Kiwi the "Key" bird. She really is looking forward to living in the Keys someday, but for now she will make due with Fort Lauderdale.

[Antifreeze. There are some animals that need to be thinned out, but not that way] There are also some cruel, unfeeling people who need to be thinned out, but how?

[Marsh rabbits killed by feral cats]  The writer hit the nail on the head. I believe the refuge relies on facts from other areas of the country to justify whatever they want to do in the Keys.  It's a cookie-cutter mentality.  What do you say Anne Morkill?  Do you have hard statistics on the marsh rabbit/feral cat issue?  Or are your trapping folks just trying to get them now.

I don't see why people have to gossip. I am tired of this BS and I think it all should stop. Most of the gossip is about Winn Dixie and it is stupid. Come on, grow up and find new gossip.

, quit complaining]  Hey Gluteus Maximus, good friends don't tell good friends what to do; they encourage them. Are you listening?

Well? Half the Keys are still waiting for the Things I Hate section. K.I.S.S., it too!
[42 The Hungarian] The very next day, two boys who wanted to be manly were smoking in the boy’s outhouse. Somebody ratted them out and Mr. Reggel called them up front and said, "A little bird told me that you two have been smoking. Should I believe this little bird?" "No sir you should not." One of them answered. "OK, then both of you exhale into my face now." They both did and right after that both of them got a huge slap on the side of the head. Then Mr. Reggel took out his own pack of smokes (he smoked the same brand as dad) and offered it to the boys. They looked at each other in confusion, then each took one. Mr. Reggel brought over the water bucket and two cups, filled them and gave one to each of the boys, lit their cigarettes and ordered them to smoke. It was déjà vu. I was seeing myself under different circumstances; it could have gone this way for me. When he noticed that the boys were not inhaling deeply he threatened them with more slaps. After each deep inhalation the smokers had to drink some water. We enjoyed the show. The guys were turning green, but Mr. Reggel wasn't letting up. More inhaling more water until the boys bolted for the door as a roomful of laughter followed them. They ran to the far corner of the school yard puking a streak all the way. I knew just how they felt. When they returned, still green, Mr. Reggell had a message for all of us...The Hungarian

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Wednesday May 9, 2007


Tuesday May 8, 2008

I have a legal vacation rental next door, and last night I was serenaded by fire works at twelve, one and two am!  It would be so nice if everybody was able to share in my joy at being awaken several times on a work night.  

I'd rather live in a hurricane area than Tornado Alley.

Someone wrote that the tree frogs we have are Cuban tree frogs and that they were not native to the keys. Is this correct and what is wrong with them? What kinds of tree frogs are native and are there any more in the keys?

[On Iraq] I just heard on CNN. A TV station was under attack by Al Qaeda terrorists on the outskirts of Baghdad. The security personnel called the rag head army for help and they were told to call back later. The security was holding off about 80 terrorists. The TV station called the police next and were told that they can't come now because it's too dangerous. To the hell with these people. The US should not waste one more drop of blood or a dime on them.

How does this sound for a parallel? Germany in May of 1945 was a defeated nation; just about everything was level with the ground. Yes, the US helped with the Marshall Plan and the military worked with the German cops. By 1948 in Bonn the government was working and the infrastructure was in place. Like a Phoenix, Germany rose from the ashes and that was less than three years!  But they are Europeans, not a bunch of ragheads that wipe their butt with their left hand.

[short term rental ban]  Y’know, yer right.  It was harsh, even rude to use the bovine fecal matter metaphor in conjunction with short term renters.  I appreciate your keen and erudite comments.  I’ve removed my head from my butt, my eyes are open.  I’ll try to be kind.  I acknowledge that many short term renters are God fearing Americans, true to Country, Family and the American way.  Many short term renters are pillars of their community, respected in their places of worship, profession and community.  I’ll concede that many short-termers are kind to their children, spouse, and dog.  I’ll grant that many are fine citizens, and I’ll bet that some even vote Republican.  But, why, why do the overwhelming majority of them have to be so damned loud?  Why do they have to arrive at 11:30 PM?  Why do they leave their garbage to be scattered by animals?  Why do they vacation on the cheap in our neighborhoods? Why do they cram a dozen into a house built for two?  Why do they rape our resources?  Why do they (you fill in the blank)?  We all know the irritation they deliver.  Short-termers are here to party and to party as cheaply as they can.

It’s human nature to seek scapegoats.  The rental ban has nothing to do with the economic situation here in the Keys.  The ban was passed in 1997.  Tourist visits to the Keys increased by 36% from 1996 to 2003.  I don’t have any newer stats.  I’ll post them when I get them.

The only people who benefit from short term rentals are real estate investors and the renters.

So if tourist visits are now down, and I doubt that they are, why?  Could it be gas prices?  In 1996 gas prices averaged about $1.50, today, gas averages about $(you fill in the amount).  Do you suppose that might have some impact? Duh.

What about employment in the service industries?  Check out the want ads in the Citizen or any other local paper.  There is no shortage of businesses trying to find employees.  Are you a line cook, server, retail sales person, carpenter, service rep, maintenance worker, office assistant, etc?  Hells bells, there are even executive positions available.  A job is waiting for you.  There are more jobs than there are workers to fill them.

If your business proceeds are off, how about trying to improve the presentation of your goods or services to attract more customers.  This customer avoids some local businesses because of piss-poor service, piss-poor goods, piss-poor offerings, and especially unfriendly, rude representatives.  We actually enjoy the ride to Marathon.  I would prefer to spend my few bucks here on BPK to benefit other locals, but I damned sure don’t owe anybody a subsidy.

I should have saved the bovine excrement metaphor for the arguments of those who blame the short term rental ban for economic woes.  It fits.

Injade rocks the Looe Key Tiki Bar Friday, May 11th  and  Sloppy Joe's every Monday night in May   Injade covers a wide spectrum of music from female singers like Heart and Stevie Nicks, to the Kinks, ZZ Top, The Rolling Stones and Rick Derringer. They mix it up with some of their catchy original tunes, lots of vocal harmonies and a great vibe, making it a fun evening for all.

Here! Let them have it! Send any message you’d like to the County.

[Rumor has it that the
Cay Club's money comes straight out of Vegas]
  That is doubtful considering Cay Club is a non-profit, religious based corporation and is into lots more than just destroying waterfront properties and life styles of locals. More than likely, their money come from Salt Lake City.

I used to be a short term rental person.  We always rented beautiful homes wherever we’d go around the world.  They usually have a pool so that the kids can stay there with some adults when we have something planed that maybe they don't want to participate in, or that some of our friends don't want to go to.  It's not all wild and craziness.  We just had a good time and fed the kids what they wanted and had a little bar B-Q for the adults.  We've owned and lived in a house in the Keys for 7 years.  I have a business in Key West.  I've lived the dream because of that.  To say that the only renters of such houses would be wild and crazy is awful. Renting perpetuates the wonderful dream of living in the Keys.  It brings more people here to realize what a wonderful place this is.  We were so stressed with our busy lives that coming down here really made a difference to us.  Please don't restrict the rentals, just restrict the ages.  And if they get wild make it easy to kick them out.  Our family really has had many wonderful bonding experiences by renting here for a week or two.

It looks like we no longer have to eat “Freedom” fries instead of French Fries. France has elected a new American-friendly leader, Nicolas Sarkozy and gotten rid of that awful Chirac. Viva la France! (it looks like the French were right in their opposition to us invading Iraq.)

[More bar wisdom] "When strip clubs start taking credit cards it'll be the old swipe and wipe."

[Burned Willow] The tree was in Hungary 30 miles south of Budapest just outside of the village of Dömsöd. I am not a botanist; I know this type of tree as Weeping Willow. They grow next to water or places where the water table is high. When George Washington cut down that cherry tree this willow was already alive and well. The last time I climbed it was in '93 and it brought back many memories. It wasn't in anybody's way and it could have lived another 100 years!

[Buyers Market - Buyer Beware] Homes where the windows are left open much of the time have mold inside the walls. After you have read and confirmed the Sellers mold inspection, pay another Company (which is not too close by and connected with unethical people) to conduct a mold inspection. Wilma flooded a lot of homes, cars and trailers. After reading the termite inspection, pay another Company (which is not too close by and had their palms greased) to do another inspection. Hire your home inspector, attorney and mortgage company on your own and do not release information to your realtor until results are conclusive. There is no such thing as a dumb question. Can the house have a pool? Fence? Are the upgrades legal? Can I get all the answers in writing on your Company letterhead? The strongest suggestion would be to get all the information and then have the high powered Key Largo Real Estate Attorney (there is only one in The Keys) protect you while buying your Keys home. You're lining the realtor’s pockets. They do not care about you only their 6% commission which could be cut in half, then cut in half again.

Hello to all our fans. The Moondogs will be playing at Key Deer Bar and Grill this Friday night from 7pm-11pm. Come out and see how we rock outside on the patio! Look forward to seeing everyone there.

Dear Ed, Why in the Hell would you post the "Antifreeze" comment? What's next: how to assemble a bomb? Guessing you hate animals. You could be a lot more discerning as you know there are tons of idiots down here.

[New French president has Hungarian immigrant father]
Even the French don't like the French.

[Vacation rentals] To the guy that thought that the people against vacation rental were once short term renters themselves.  I do not think so. I’m guessing that they were freeloaders that stayed at a friend’s house and acted like short term renters that they are afraid of.  Thieves worry more about thieves than honest people.  Rude people worry more about other rude people.

Pictured is Capt. Mike Takovich of fly Trap Fishing Fharters and avid pilot and friend of Jimmy Buffet and his hemisphere dancer, Grumman 124 Mallard. How we do love the Keys and Key West!
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Comments about the “If you’re not with us you don’t belong here” remark.  I said the guy should “get out” not because he was against vacation rentals; it was because of his rude comments about investors, poor people and tourists.  That’s why he doesn’t belong here.  The keys are a melting pot.  It seems as though there are more and more cranky people here then has ever been.  The whole idea that tourists are bottom dwellers and all of the other comments made are just terrible.  Tourists made the keys what they are today.  We were all tourists at one point, except the Conchs.  I apologize if my remark was taken any other way.  We have to be able to agree to disagree, but that guy with his derogatory comments seems to say that he is better then the rest of us and that just burns me up.  That is why he should go back to wherever he came from--if they will take him.

I got my boat back in the water, got my boat back in the water! (singing happily and doing a little dance). Look out fishies here I come! A huge thank you to Paul of Paul's Mobile Marine for getting me back in the water. You da best!

Now I will say it. Majestic Security is the company that screwed me. At least I know I am not alone in getting paid from this company. How can it be they get away with not reporting or paying the taxes they took from their employees’ paychecks? This explains why I never received a W-2 from them. This article was published in the Key West Blue Paper this past Friday. This company is located here on Big Pine. You can find a link to the Key West Blue Paper on the right hand side on this page.

, quit complaining about having no social life. Its an insult to your friends.

Who cares where F&W get their numbers as long as they eradicate the vermin that kill our wild life

[Hey, Hungarian]  The frogs elected a hungry conservative. I think they’re getting smarter, finally!

My cat has found a new thing to attack--my curser as it moves across my monitor. It was real cute until I wanted to actually do some work.
[The Hungarian] It was the first thing I said to Búcsi the next day, "My pop and I sat and smoked last night." "You're shitting me, Imre? Really, no lie?" "No lie, and when he gets off his shift he's bringing us two cigars and we'll smoke them." "Naaw, no foolin?" "No foolin', Jóska, he said, us men will enjoy a good cigar." "He really said that? My old man asked me if I smoked, and before I had a chance to answer he slapped me so hard I almost did a cartwheel." I guess Búcsi's dad didn't want him to act manly. Dad came off his shift and brought the cigars, showed them to me and said, "After diner we are going to have a long smoke." I could hardly wait. I already finished eating while dad was taking his time. Finally he put down his utensils picked up his coffee cup and headed for his chair. I was right on his heels. After he sat down he brought forth the cigars and gave me one. It was a large motha’. Eight inches long and as thick as dad's thumb. After he removed the cellophane he did the strangest thing. He started to lick the cigar all over. He saw the confusion on my face, and said, "This is done, son, to put back the moisture in the outer leafs covering the cigar." I started to lick too. After I licked the cigar all over my tongue was burning and there was an awful lot of saliva collected in my mouth. I had to spit, but where? There was no place, I didn't see dad spit so I swallowed and licked some more. Dad bit off the end of his cigar and spit the bitten off end into the ashtray. I did the same. He lit his cigar and gave me a light. Both of us men were puffing away. Clouds of smoke filled the room which made mom none too happy. Dad emerged from behind his smoke screen and said, "Son, I noticed that you are not inhaling...The Hungarian

[Willow bustic tree] A Keys' native, Sideroxylon salicifolium.
Terrorists have been caught who were planning on attacking Fort Dix, NJ. Why there, is the mystery.

Bonaparte the dog would like to have his picture on a Jones Soda label.  Please vote for him!  (He's the big furry one who just spotted a cat under that car.)

[Re-elect no one] Barack, I've sent you some emails recently, to which I've received no response. I did this after dreaming that I should make a contribution to your campaign, which I then did: $2,300. Then, I had dreams telling me to write to you. I also had dreams telling me to share the last email with your pastor Jeremiah Wright's website, which I did. I'd very much like to hear something back from you, personally, before you send me any more requests, because what I sent to you was given to me by your and my and Jeremiah's and everyone else's Creator...Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

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Tuesday May 8, 2008


Monday May 7, 2007

Kudos and special thanks to the Port Pine Heights Home Owners Association volunteers who began a canal tree trimming project in the neighborhood Sunday morning.  Association President,  John Mager and volunteers Pat McCarthy, Dan Saus, Heinz Kropp, Chuck Griffin, Walt Lagraves, Carol Lagraves, and Sam Nuccio worked for several hours clearing overhanging tree branches and brush from the west end of the south canal.  More to come soon.  Contact John Mager if you wish to play in the next round.

[Today’s Gossip] Rumor has it that the Cay Club's money comes straight out of Vegas. 

What about the idiot cop that gives me a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt--after he gets off his motorcycle!

As the short term rental issue blossoms once again the Pros' mantra, “If you're not with us you don't belong here so get out” is already being recited.

From the Key West Citizen Sun. May 6:
Florida Keys Invasive Exotics Task Force will be awarded the U.S. Department of the Interior's highest honor, the Cooperative Conservation Award, on May 9 at a ceremony in Washington, D.C. The Nature Conservancy's Alison Higgins, chair of the task force, will accept the award on behalf of the group.

The more than 22-member organizations of the task force have collaborated on a number of projects to eliminate invasive non-native species throughout the Keys. In particular, the Interior Department recognized the task force's "Green Thumb Certified" campaign. The task force has been able to bring in matching state and federal dollars to implement this and other successful programs.

Way to go, TNC! (Overseas Dive shop--Hellooo!)

[Fools Rush In] I really can't believe I'm doing this today. Like I expect anyone to believe any of it. Like I really like making an even bigger fool of myself than I have already done so many times that I would never be able to recall even the half of it. Oh well, like it matters to God what I feel about anything...Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

About one month ago my son saved your son’s life!  Your son came out of the Winn-Dixie parking lot on to Key Deer Blvd.  He threw down his skateboard, looked left and jumped onto the board without looking right.  My son stopped about 2 feet from your teenager.  Thank God for quick response and good brakes.  Kiss your boy.  You still have him.

A case that proves “don’t believe everything that you read!”  I went to Buon Appetito for my wedding anniversary on Saturday night.  I really have no idea where any of the negative feedback came from on this site.  The atmosphere was so soft, romantic and relaxing.  Our service was superb.  Our food was divine. They really helped to make our anniversary a truly special occasion.  (Especially Bob who was a delightful man)  I will most definitely be back. I really don’t know why people were ranting about the added gratuity of 18%.  That is only added for parties of 6 or more and it states it very clearly on the menu.  And most restaurants everywhere automatically add grat for large parties.  I feel that most of the feedback I have read in the past on here was extremely misleading and hurtful to a restaurant that I would sure love to see stick around.

, “To do is to be.”
Socrates, “To be is to do.”
Sinatra, “Do be do be do.”

[More bleach in the gene pool] According to the manager of BJ's Pawn Shop in Gretna, La., a customer came in with his diaper-clad boy of about age 2 in April and handed the kid an AK-47 from the store's shelf, instructed him how to hold it in order to "mow (people) down, kill everybody," and told him that "Daddy's going to buy you this chopper." The manager, incredulous, said he took the gun back and shooed the pair out.

Drink responsibly
. Video

The skanky nature of the woman you have slept with is an acceptable topic for everyday conversation.

[cooking with bacon grease.]
That picture made my stomach turn up side down. How can any human degrade into such a disgusting blob of dysfunctional protoplasm? It is culling time in the DNA Corral?

Short Term Rentals, Long Term Rentals, Tourism, Real Estate Manipulation, Bars, Beaneries and Bimbo's. Gee wiz doesn't anybody in the keys work at a real product producing job? With all the crying and moaning about making a living in the Keys, why can't real manufacturing businesses be developed. We have one of the best ports in Florida to ship in raw materials and supplies. We have the man power enough to support ourselves. Why can't people sweat a little instead of conning their way through life? Working three to four months a year and expecting a years wages like normal workers is nothing but a lazy man's way to exist. This new gambling gig is a prime example.

If you saw the movie "Six Days and Seven Nights," you may remember the scene in which the magazine editor states that 38.6% of all marriages fail because the woman doesn't work. Her boyfriend replies, "That sounds like something you made up." 

I can't help but think about that when I read about the 54% of marsh rabbits that are killed by feral cats.  How did Fish & Wildlife come up with this statistic?  To get an exact percentage, they'd have had to find 100 dead marsh rabbits with 54 of those rabbits in the mouths of cats.  If this is the case, how long did it take to
come up with this finding? A day? A week?  A month?  Or, they may have taken a sample of dead marsh rabbits and estimated this 54% through various means.  For example, if they found 10 marsh rabbits and were able to determine that 5.4 of them were caused by cats, what happened to the other 0.6 portion of a body.  How did the other 46% die, and where were their bodies found?

If the chronology of articles in the news is accurate, it was determined that 54% of marsh rabbits have been killed by feral cats, but that only now is F&W trying to determine how many feral cats there actually are and where they are located.  This doesn't make a lot of sense!  These are just a few really simple questions about the techniques used by F&W.

The point is pretty obvious.  Statistics can be seriously flawed and can be flagrantly abused to "prove" a point.  Statistics can speak only to the "probability" that something occurred; another way of saying a "guess".  We have no idea where F&W came up with these figures, and before these animals are wantonly killed and thousands of dollars spent, it may be worthwhile to have F&W "prove it up".  If you spend a little time looking at past F&W and other government projects, you'll find them replete with major mistakes.  Just a few include introducing kudzu along highways, introducing nutria to areas for fur, faulty procedures in counting panthers in Florida, choking waterways with water hyacinth to kill algae...and the list goes on.

I appreciate that there are people that don't like cats.  Cats don't always come running when they're called, don't roll over or sit when commanded, and don't necessarily crave attention. They just aren't as subject to domination as are dogs, and some people struggle with that.  But they are lives that should be respected, along with those of other living beings.  There are reasonable people here that are trying to find reasonable answers, even in the face of F&W ultimatums and inane comments from people who would "eat cats" (this might be a good spot to drop off any unfortunate road kill) or feed them antifreeze to cause a slow, torturous death. 

Because F&W says it's so doesn't make it so, but it does justify their existence.  I once asked an employee at the Key Deer Refuge how they handled deer that had been injured by cars.  His response was something like, "we aren't here to protect the deer, we're here to protect the habitat.  Sometimes we'll get care for a deer for PR purposes."    People regularly complain about all the ordinances and regulations that are routinely forced down our throats.  Well, here's another one, and it's going to cost lives and lots of money.  How about giving the people who are trying to come up with positive solutions the time and help to make it happen and try and do something kind and sensitive for our community.  It's a decent thing to do!

[big willow tree]
I felt the same way about the Tamarind tree at the corner of Ave A & County Rd. Some county ass hole with a 3rd grade education cut it down. Supposedly so they could re-pave the road.

[All day generator] Man, I loved that retort.

[Sheriff drive through the 15 mph zone doing 30] Isn't it sad that they are supposed to be the one's setting examples for the rest of the cattle?

[Tales from the old country continued] I will always remember my visits with my wise old grandmother. I can still picture her hunched-over form sitting on an old wooden crate under a gnarled, weathered olive tree in our back yard. Actually my father made her live out in the back yard due to her medical condition know as frati no'ni which loosely translates into the walking farts. She looked old to me even as a child; I once asked my father how old she was and he muttered something about her being too damn old to still be around. I thought, and still believe to this day that my gramma was the wisest woman I had ever known. She told me to be very careful of the woman you marry; make sure she is lean and able to work the fields as well as the men. She said to always remember when choosing a wife, that as they age, everything gets sla'boika, which means bigger, hairier and closer to the ground. Truer words were never spoken.

Joee, don't patronize them by even giving them a response.  Just ignore them and consider the source.  Tell your other half we said hello from North Carolina.  Max misses the Keys!  There are no iguanas to chase here!

If world opinion matters, will the 10 most dangerous dogs please die off! It seems a little funny too, that these 10 mutts are on the Florida No Own List.

Vacation Rentals – Wow!  I wonder what people say about you when you go on vacation.  It is just absolutely amazing that you could move to a tourist destination and hate tourists so much.  Were you born here?  So, let me get this right.  It was ok, for you to come here on vacation (and probably rent a vacation home) but it’s not ok for anyone else to do it.  I’ll admit, the Lobster Season people are absolutely horrible and cheap.  I personally think the whole Lobster Season thing should be done away with.  However, the regular people that come here on vacation are just like us, they just happen to be on vacation.  I think to call them bottom feeders or whatever you said is a little rude.  I hope the locals don’t treat you that way when you’re on vacation.  The bottom line is, this is a tourist destination.  We make money and live on that fact.  I’m not polling for the investor; I’m pulling for the worker.  If you took your head out of your butt, you might actually realize that most of the working population in the keys survives on tourism; and by bringing vacation rentals back it would yield more income to our locals.  I don’t know if you realize this, but if our waitresses, bartenders, dive shops and bait shops aren’t making money, they will close.  Then you will be living here on an island by yourself.  You would be drawing your social security check, but you would have to go to Miami to get it because we would have no post office here.  You would also have to go to Miami to buy your groceries because there wouldn’t be one here.  You would also have to go to Miami to go out to dinner because there wouldn’t be any restaurants here to cater to your needs.  All of the service industry workers would have to leave which means you wouldn’t have anyone here to wipe your ass.

Meaning of the word service: "The act of doing things for other people." Internal Revenue Service, Postal Service, Telephone Service, Civil Service, City & County Public Service, Customer Service, Service Stations, etc. I became confused that this was not what "service" really meant.  Then I overheard two farmers talking about how he had hired a bull to "service" a few of his cows.  Bam! Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us.  I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.

The "Things I Hate" column might be better organized with small designated sections for short, to the point, one line inputs only. This way it will keep the ramblers from over loading their points and wasting our time reading trivia.

When you call to have your telephone fixed or problems with your DSL, where do you think the people come from that do that?  When you want Comcast to come to fix your cable TV or when you go to the doctor there are more working in the office than just the doctor? Where in the world do you think these people come from?

Unlike W/D who can afford to bus people in (if indeed that is the case) not every business can do that.  These people need to live somewhere and at 10 and 12 dollars an hour (if indeed that is the case) they can't afford $1200 and up a month for 1 room and a bath. (if they don't have to share the bath)  I am not opposed to people renting the bottoms of their home if they have legally built the downstairs and they pay taxes on the money they make from it.  I can tell you in my neighborhood they rent up and down, don't have a legal downstairs and let others come in with trailers and set up camp.  They urinate on their tire outside instead of using their roll-a-room that they are illegally parking on an empty lot.  Do it right, get your permits and pay your tax and I'm for it, but everything illegal is just wrong.

[I saw a sheriff drive through the 15 mph zone doing 30 and talking on his cell phone.] In most all states, if a police vehicle is not in pursuit, on a call, or in any emergency, the driver has to obey all traffic laws just as a civilian. If there is a call, or emergency and it is not a Code Silent, he must have his flashers and/or siren working. So, if you have the balls, stop the offending police car and issue a citizens arrest, and call his supervisor. This is legal. (Then move to Buenos Aires!)

Hendricks freed--judge needs to go back to clown school]
Or at least have his finances audited.

[downstairs enclosure apartments] I would also vote in favor, but the owner would have to live there full time and be held directly accountable for any action of his or her renters as any hotel or motel would be. Also local working people should get first priority to rent them.

Nice piece in the Citizen Sunday about project Dive Alive, a joint effort on the part of local marine safety and law enforcement groups to prevent diving injuries/fatalities. Especially pertinent with mini-season just around the corner (God help us) Check out their website   Safe diving, y’all!

Another 100 dead today in Iraq. Damn it. Don’t these Iraqis understand that they are not supposed to be fighting back until  we set a timeline for turning Iraq back over to the Iraqis? This is really screwing up republican rhetoric. Oh, well, we all knew the "if we set a timeline Iraq will break into civil war" fear tactic was BS anyhow. The civil war’s already in full swing. Let them settle  themselves down; they don’t need America’s sons and daughters caught acting as Iraqi policemen. That’s not their job. Our mission is accomplished. There’s nothing else to do that they cannot handle themselves. The Iraqi police and military far outnumber the radicals right now. Force them to get their backbone now. God bless our troops.

There's this person who's a compulsive liar and wicked gossip because that's the only way people pay attention to the thing. This an energy vampire and we can no longer deal with the drama. The individual who asked our net worth unsuccessfully attempted to offer an employment opportunity as a means to get a social security number. Be careful of the inquiring white trash who live here. Their hobby is hate.  

Where was that willow tree that got burned to death? And do you mean willow bustic(?) tree?

[No workers here in 15 years]  Please relax; there will be workers here 15 and 115 years from now, regardless of so many nervous Nellie’s who see Armageddon behind every bush. The situation will resolve itself as long as you curtail busybodies, Gov. etc. out of the equation--it always does. The capitalist system may seem harsh at times for all sides of the fence, but it will eventually work its magic.

The Rabbit was trapped, yet once again. You know, gators love "rabbit" meat. Not that I'm suggesting anything

[Antifreeze] Thanks for your response. I won't be using that. There are some animals that need to be thinned out, but not that way.

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Monday May 7, 2007


Sunday May 6, 2007

I would vote for legalizing downstairs enclosure apartments, and would also vote in favor of short term rentals if the home owner lived either upstairs or downstairs.

[Today’s Gossip] The Spotswood convention center is being built with the long range promise of gambling. The Spotswoods have been trying to bring gambling here for years.

[cat trapping]  Everyone is focused on the Refuge efforts to rid their lands of feral cats, but everyone seems to have forgotten that the County also has to do their part to rid Big Pine and No Name Keys of feral cats in order for the Habitat Conservation Plan to be approved.  I understand that the County, while advocating sparing the lives of the cats, is, like the Refuge, most willing to have them killed rather than contribute financially in the efforts to save their lives.  The Refuge has stated repeatedly that the cats will not be killed but turned over to shelters, i.e. the County.  What is the County going to do with these cats?  Both of these government entities seem to be expecting the general public to come up with a way to save the cats if they are to be saved.

So, what is the County going to do folks, and what are you going to do to stop them?

This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease. This is a warning.
It could happen to you...or them. Bacon grease will make your feet small. Warn everyone!

(Ed: Not to be outdone by those usurpers, this is the original bacon grease lady.)

I had a great disappointment a month ago! My childhood hiding place on the island, that big willow tree where I hid my treasures was destroyed. The f**king destroying bastards are all over, not just in the Keys. This tree was 200 years old if a day. The dirty son of a whore, and I hope he goes blind, built a fire in top of the trunk where I used to play and burned it down. Another friend gone.

[short term rental ban]  This writer is no “academic”, the closest I got to academia was to flunk out of Ithaca College in year 2.  I’ve been a wage slave or part of the hospitality industry for my entire life.  Nonetheless, I can still recognize a large pile of bovine fecal matter when it’s deposited next door to my "blue collar" home.  These piles are delivered by out of town real estate investors.  There is no need to go into the irritation that these piles of short term renters wreak upon our neighborhoods.  These short timers invade every neighborhood, they are equal opportunity annoyers.  Mobile home or mansion, we’re all at risk.  Please, please, don’t even suggest that any version of the “ban” ordinance include language that would permit short term rental in “low value” residential neighborhoods.  This suggestion reeks of elitism.  The short term rental of homes in residential neighborhoods is a business enterprise, like any other business it must be restricted to commercial areas.

Suggesting that permitting short term rental in “low value” residential neighborhoods is at best, annoying.  The post read as if it were designed to alienate low and mid-income residents from support of a short term rental ban.  By the way, the absence of noise is spelled “quiet”, not “quit”.  A “transit” is a surveyor’s instrument; a “transient” is a short term renter.

Short term renters deliver fewer dollars to the Keys than the value they take.  It has been my experience that they bring their own groceries, they cook in, and they avoid restaurants and bars.  They are here on the cheap.  They do their damnedest to avoid purchasing anything.  Remember nearly everything is cheaper on the mainland.  Short-termers are notorious for raping our marine resources.  Short-termers consume water, drive our roads, and litter our streets.  They have no stake in our environment; they pollute our waters and litter our streets and shores.  Short-termers are the locusts of the tourism industry.

How many gallons of water does it take to mix one full cement truck full of cement for the Spotswood convention center? And to you greedy developers and lying-nasty-commissioners and mayors: All the money and land you’re stealing from the citizens of Monroe County is not any good in hell!

Only the ignorant don’t believe in global warning. There the same people who litter, don’t recycle, kill anything in the sea, and don’t get there animals fixed. They’re just missing it all; to bad for them. If they only knew what a truly beautiful planet they’re living on they would have more respect for it and leave it beautiful for there children.

I notice Joe on Begonia’s "House for sale" sign is gone.  I hope he decided to stay.

The school buses do have seat belts on them. The children either refuse to wear them or hit each other with them. Plus also it's their choice to wear the seat belts. The drivers cannot force the children to wear them. I'm a bus driver for Monroe County and this is a fact

[The Goat Sex] It's obvious that you have never been in this part of the world. Goats are not prevalent around here. I see that you can write, maybe Ed will give you your own page.

Asian eye exam
. Try it.

[40 The Hungarian] I was still running around in bare feet when school started. My feet got so dirty from the newly oiled floors that Nanah wouldn't let me in the house until I scrubbed them. Fourth grade started off with a bang, Mrs. Meggyessy and her stick were gone and in her place was Mr. Reggel, a man about thirty-two years old. He made the subjects interesting and wasn't so eager to apply the stick as the previous teacher. My birthday arrived and I received the same bicycle the second time. I was alarmed when I heard my parents talk about moving back to Budapest. I knew that it would be the end of my world as I knew it up until now, no more animals, island, cabin, and even my bike I will have to leave behind. My fourth grade class had the same faces, no one departed, no one arrived. I told Búcsi, "Now that we are ten years old and no longer virgins we should try and do more manly things!" "Yes, Imre, but what can we do?" "I don't know. Play cards, spit, cuss?" "Hell, we do those things already we just don't smoke!" "That's it, you got it, we have to start smoking!" Very close to the school was a tiny tobacco shop run by Tatragi néni (Aunt Tatragi), she knew Búcsi well because he always went there to buy cut tobacco and cigarette papers for his father. Búcsi's dad rolled his own, it always amazed me how he could do it with one hand! I asked dad how come he didn't roll his own. He just said he didn't know how. Búcsi did some checking and found out from his brother that the mildest cigarette that was available was callled Tulipan (Tulip)...The Hungarian

Some fun in the gorilla cage. Video

The reason there are no seatbelts on school busses is they would cost the district too much money.  It would cost money to install seatbelts which would limit the number of students allowed to ride on the bus to the number of seatbelts in the bus.  The school district would have to buy more school busses to accommodate the students and they would have to hire bus drivers to drive the extra busses.  And they would have to pay for fuel for the extra busses.  So…bottom line too much money. 

"What do you feel when you
shoot a Terrorist?"
The Marine shrugged and replied, a slight recoil."

I live in Key West and because I can't afford a subscription to the Key West Citizen (among other things), I read it online.  One of my favorite columns was "Citizen's Voice" because people wrote in with comments, complaints and suggestions and didn't have to sign their names.  About six months ago, they would only give you the first comment and if you wanted to read the rest, you had to subscribe for a fee.  As much as I wanted to read the daily comments, I wasn't about to give in to their extortion.  Then a co-worker, who lives in Big Pine Key, mentioned your website so I visited it.  I have been a daily reader ever since and although I don't agree with some of the issues, I believe in free speech and I'll continue to be a dedicated reader.  Since I don't live in the Big Pine Key area, I can't comment on your local issues, but maybe I'll put my two cents in on national issues.  Anyway, keep it coming, I enjoy it! (Ed: Welcome and thanks for the good words. Our readers are from over 39 countries and they comment on everything. We are a full service gossip column.)

Jimmy Hendricks receives no jail time] I always thought a felony crime was one that carried jail time over one year and a misdemeanor carried less then one year. I think this judge needs to go back to clown school.

[all day generator]  Just so you know at least one thing you are talking about in the future, since your accusations of illegal this and that against me haven’t panned out under Florida statutes. It isn’t a generator it is my SCUBA air fill station (a compressor) and yes, it was powered by a lawn mower engine before Wilma. It has been since upgraded to an electric model (much more quiet). But since it bothers you so much and what I’m doing is perfectly legal between 8AM and 11PM maybe I should offer everyone free air fills just so I can run it all day as you claim. The most it runs is an hour to an hour and a half at a time, but I’ll try to live up to your accusations in the future.

As far as your comments about kids, again you are sadly mistaken. I love kids although I do hate brats. (See definition below) You know, the kind of animals that a certain tenant had that he used to put outside At 6 AM  so the neighbors could hear the screaming and fighting between the brats (not kids) because they didn’t want to listen to it inside while they tried to sleep.

Brats (noun): children that haven't been taught by parents how to act and respect others. i.e. Those that let their offspring run wild and unchecked because their to busy getting high or sleeping off the night before.

On the other hand, because I hate kids, I did retrieve a young girl from a paddle boat in our canal a day or two ago with a cut foot. I brought her home more quickly to get possible medical attention regardless of whether she was a kid or a brat. Yeah, I really hate kids.

It sounds like you’re the one with all the pent up hate. More than that, if you were a person of character you would have approached me as a neighbor with your concerns instead of trying to vent your frustrations in an anonymous forum. As a matter of record, In 5 years I have called the police on 4 occasions due to fireworks or personal threats from a tenant that was from NY, but I call them everyday according to you. The next time you want to give me one of your phony hellos, please try to take your foot out of your mouth first.

Link to all Windows operating systems and add-ins. I suggest keeping this handy link in your Favorites.

[No seat belts in school buses] I’m not sure where you got you info, but school buses do have seat belts.

[Follow up on Just ask Laura] We contacted Laura Bush and she said this endowment claim is just as exaggerated as the existence of WMD in Iraq!

I agree that killing someone for littering is a bit extreme; at least for the first offense. Sadly the average American is a littering slob. We are tourists (not snowbirds) who have actually taken a plastic trash bag to Bahia Honda State park and picked up trash and disposed of it properly. Although I will say that Bahia Honda is generally cleaner than most public parks.

The other day at baseball practice, after I turned at the blinking light, I saw a sheriff drive through the 15 mph zone doing 30 and talking on his cell phone.  He was headed North.  I assumed at that hour he was in a hurry to go home and eat. Its very hard to respect these people when there is so little crime here, and their budget is so big. They are the worst offenders of tailgating, and speeding, "Monroe County the county that cares about your kids. Not!"

[Rental Ban] It is a good thing to ban short term rentals to keep those out who would not respect the Keys as they are. If I had to rent part of my home to strangers so I could afford to live here, I would try to move to a place where I could live comfortably without struggling to make ends meet, which is becoming more of a reality to me every day!  We would all like to live in a million dollar neighborhood, but let's face it, we are all not likely to do so, so why mess things up for those that can?  It only makes people hate me and my family. People should know their place in society and not fake their way through life. I have learned this the hard way.

[Does the fire dept use sea water in their trucks] Some fire trucks are built with materials that can use salt water, but not many. What is the point of saving a few hundred gallons of fresh water, if the salt water ruins or kills everything? Fresh water does not corrode like salt water. Remember what the salt did to properties and plant life after Wilma?

I just visited Sea Camp. I had a wonderful time so did my kids. There are lots of real nice people running the place. And the food was better then ever this year. The only thing that bothered me was the older woman in the dinning hall yelling at the top of here lungs. I was not sure who she was talking to but my kids could have done without hearing that. She was out of her control. A girl from the kitchen tried to calm her down. Anyway we had a great time at Sea Camp on Big Pine Key

Someone suggested using antifreeze for keeping animals out of trash cans.  Please don't, it's a slow and horrible way for any animal to die.  I lost a dog that way many years ago (she had escaped from the yard) and it was heartbreaking.  Antifreeze apparently tastes sweet to animals, they'll even lick it off a driveway.  Once an animal has ingested antifreeze there is nothing that cane be done for them except to watch them die.  Please try something else.

[rental ban] To the guy who would rent to his friends.  I’m so sorry you only have friends that can down grade in such a way. I am a long term resident of the Lower Keys.  I have worked and lived here for over 15 years and remember when our economy was booming because we had transient rentals.  For the number of rentals we had, the numbers of problems were few and far between.  I’m sure all of the people who work here, and by that I mean, those who actually make a living working in the keys would agree that removing the ban on vacation rentals would be a huge boost to our economy. 

Those who oppose it are the same people who opposed it a few years ago.  Those are the people who have retired here and have no worries about where their next check is coming from.  I sure hope you do long term rent your house to your “friends” so you will leave.  We don’t need, nor do we want, your kind here anyway.  You are the type of person who is damaging the “Keys Life”, so go home!

By the way, how did you first come here to visit and know you wanted to be here?  Did you rent a vacation home perhaps?  Funny how things work.

[Bitten by Love] Um, if he hasn't been back in 3 years he isn't coming back.

The Rabbit was trapped, yet once again, on Friday.

[Not everyone living here is retired or rich] Anyone thinking that the Keys are going to be a place the working man can live in 15 years is indeed a dreamer.

[Begonia Joe] We may be all thinking of a different Joe-the Joe I refer to moved to his little house in 2003.

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Sunday May 6, 2007


Saturday May 5, 2007

Cinco de Mayo celebrates when 4,000 Mexican soldiers smashed the French and traitor Mexican army of 8,000 at Puebla, Mexico, 100 miles east of Mexico City on the morning of May 5, 1862.

The French had landed in Mexico (along with Spanish and English troops) five months earlier on the pretext of collecting Mexican debts from the newly elected government of democratic President (and Indian) Benito Juarez.  The English and Spanish quickly made deals and left.  The French, however, had different ideas.

Under Emperor Napoleon III, who detested the United States, the French came to stay.  They brought a Hapsburg prince with them to rule the new Mexican empire.  His name was Maximilian; his wife, Carolota.  Napoleon's French Army had not been defeated in 50 years, and it invaded Mexico with the finest modern equipment and with a newly reconstituted Foreign Legion.  The French were not afraid of anyone, especially since the United States was embroiled in its own Civil War.

Morning, Lesley. Besides the land on Little Torch Key, I also want to give you $10,000 cash for immediate needs. Need bank routing info. Can probably get the Marathon lawyer who drew up original deed to draw one to Grantee you name. His Secretary at Law said the other day she still has the legal decryption in her computer . . . These are gifts, Lesley. Ask any questions you like, I may or may not answer them all. But the way I view it, everything really belongs to God and that's where it ultimately ends up...Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

It’s not fair to beat up on State Representative Ron Saunders for lying better than Rice could tell the truth. He was running for office, you should have known he was lying. The culprit and person who should be beat up is former State Representative Ken Sorensen (R) who supported Saunders and lied on his behalf and said he could deliver sewer dollars with his connections to that snake oil salesman Speaker of the House, Marco Rubio.

The City of Marathon should really be pissed in that he lied to council members Bull, Pinkus, Miller, and Bartus to discard the FKAA, who Sorensen hated, and he would get them the money for wastewater. The good news is that all but Bull have been voted out of office and Bull’s turn is coming.

Convicted Felon Jimmy Hendricks got set free with only probation and a slap on the wrist. It’s a good thing he wasn’t black or he would have gone to jail, but white bubbas seldom go to jail in this County.

The Kentucky Derby is today and the Queen of England will be there to cheer the winner.

Global warming is like religion. If people want it they will believe anything.

I have it on good authority that there aren’t seven virgins awaiting you in heaven.

Does the fire dept have the ability to use sea water in their trucks. With this water shortage it looks like a good idea to find an alternative to fresh water.

It’s a busy weekend for Howard Livingston and The Mile Marker 24 Band. On Friday, May 11 they are at Boondocks Grill and Draft House on Ramrod Key (MM 27.5) and on Saturday, May 12 they perform at The Sugarloaf KOA Resort on Sugarloaf Key (MM 20) for their “Camping For Cancer Weekend.” Both shows start at 7:00 PM and will feature the Mile Marker 24 Big Band.

Then on Sunday, May 13 the band moves downtown to Key West’s Margaritaville at 5:30 PM to perform for a benefit for the Boys and Girls Clubs of the Florida Keys. 

As always there will be giveaways, door prizes, a Limbo contest and they will fire up the old Johnson outboard margarita maker and make a batch for you. For more information call 305-849-1927 or visit or

The "academic", who obviously stayed in school, has hit the nail on the head regarding short term rentals.  It looks like every so often the issue, in one guise or another, has to be put to a vote or referendum where it is routinely shot down by the silent majority.

The Keys won’t be getting any of the sewer money that Ron Saunders promised in his election. I guess he doesn’t have any good connections like he bragged about. Now we’re really screwed. I cannot afford a sewer.

Yesterday’s environmental writer is really a mental writer. Imagine the crackpot threatening death to someone who litters.

[Pesky critters] My friend sprays bug killer in his garbage bags before he ties them and sets them out for pickup. He doesn’t put them in cans. He says they’ve never been disturbed because of the insecticide.

Begonia Joe has tons of friends, and we all love him. He is a great guy.

[calls the cops on all his neighbors on a regular basis]  Well now,, Are you so bored with your life that you insist on continuing your lies?  Anyone can go to the Sheriff’s website and look at the “Calls for Service Log” and it goes back 7 days; Anyone that is interested can go to; and go to public information and then calls for service, Whoaa, verify a liar!

[I'm from the government, I'm here to help] Safety First! Britain's Health and Safety agency headquarters reportedly posted signs in various locations in the building warning workers not to attempt to move chairs and tables by themselves, but to call for porters for which 48 hours' notice was required. London's Daily Mail reported, not surprisingly, that the agency's workplace injury record was very low.

[News from Hungary!] The grave of János Kádár in one of Budapest's biggest cemeteries was desecrated on May 1st and his carcass removed. Kádar was the puppet dictator installed by the Soviets after crushing the Hungarian uprising in 1956. He conducted bloody reprisals against his countrymen until the 60's. The unidentified perpetrators left a sign behind and painted on the wall of the cemetery "A Traitor and Murderer has no right to rest in Consecrated ground." I hope they throw his carcass into a septic tank! The Gyulcsár government is leaving no stone unturned to capture the grave robbers of their comrade, while embezzlers who stole billions from the nation’s treasury go unpunished.

I saw a great T-shirt on Sunday; it said "Killer For Hire--Discount on Prime ministers!”

[Why Sumo Wrestlers make poor baby sitters] Babies, held by amateur sumo wrestlers, cry loudly during a baby-crying contest at Sensoji temple in Tokyo. Eighty-four babies born in 2006 took part in the event, which is held to pray for the babies' health and growth. The winner of the contest is the baby who cries the loudest.

Mother Nature's lawyer needs your help! My wonderful day (May 2, 2007) ended with my writing about Key West Attorney Jim Hendrick facing prison time, and my deep sentiments about that. My wonderful day (May 2, 2007) started with telling Lesley Blackner that I'd been told in dream time that I couldn't help her out financially. She had written privately to me, a heart-and-gut-wrenching email saying she'd been doing her work for Mother Nature pro bono all along and now was out of funds. She had gotten 300,000 signatures on Mother Nature's Petition and needed to get about that much again. Was I the special angel who would help her continue her work? Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

Big Pine AYSO Soccer Registration Fall Season 2007 at Watson Field.
Bulletin Board

You folks who oppose short term rentals are off the mark. We are a life long keys couple who are still working on our 1st million. With the loss of over 400 more hotel rooms in KW coming soon our income will take a big hit. Allowing short term rentals to fill the void being created will help us a lot. So bring on the petition. Most of our friends in the service industry and us will gladly sign it.

[Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can] i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but teh wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!  (Ed: My spell-check just exploded)

[Begonia Joe] Time to leave the ole man alone. Joe may be a little loud but it is all in fun. He would do anything he could to help young or old. I know because he has done a lot for me; even as a kid years ago. Joe does not make a habit of calling the cops on his neighbors. I know because he lived next door to me when my parents thew a graduation party for me; and believe me, it went on for 3 days and it was loud! Stop making judgment calls on someone you really do not know. Hang in there Joee.

Kill humans over a piece of trash?  You are a serious wacko and need a lot of quiet serious psychiatric help. You are going to kill someone over a piece of trash flying out of a car?  No offence, lady, but, the polar bears are not a big concern of mine. The Muslims are, especially the whackos that want to blow us all to hell and back.  You are sick and need help fast. 

[On the trash can dilemma] We had no luck with bungees and snap tops.  We did get a little wooden box that holds two trash cans from Home Depot and put it together (assembly required) and the animals cannot turn them over to paw at them thus ending the trouble.  The little contraption floated all the way down to the end of the road during Wilma and we just drug it back home and are still using it and haven't had to pick up trash since getting it. Yahoo!

I'm not kiddin', just ask Laura!

[Animals in your trash cans]  Try antifreeze. (?)

Dear Ed, the things you hate column is a good idea.

[Tales from the old country…continued] I was humiliated that I had chosen the ugliest goat in the herd. Oh, the shame of it. I feared I would be scarred for life. The people in the village where I lived, not far from Alsónémedi, were very cruel to me, never missing a chance to harass and taunt me over my unfortunate selection of goats. You must understand that bestiality was common in the old country because the women were few and borderline hideous which was probably due to the inbreeding that was prevalent in the area, much like the Carolinas in this country. One of my most cherished childhood memories was walking with my father through the old village, laughing discretely at the troll-like wives of the few married men in town. Father would sometimes make pig-like snorts as we passed the couples. I loved and still yearn for those simpler times.

I learned the other day that good old Bin Laden and family made a lot of money off of bee farming. Now the bees are dying here and I wonder if there is any connection? 

[person who could not understand how anyone could not take global warming seriously] I am quite certain after reading his post that there are a lot of things this fellow does not understand.

[short term rental ban] There is no such thing as a short term rental. It is just a play on words for allowing gangs of loud, obnoxious transits to terminate our way of life, continuously. Those who would profit from these vermin could care less about us locals who live here for the pure enjoyment of peace and quite. Most property owners who subscribe to renting their home in any manner, are not permanent residents and do not respect local’s feelings at all. If there has to be a law allowing this horrible idea of tenants who cannot afford to live here and who have tendencies to destroy our paradise, let the law be regional and set aside areas in certain Keys for this. Don't allow one to five million dollar neighborhoods to be degraded into motels for a few who would profit and lower our values. I will fight this or start renting long term to my "friends" in Detroit, New York, New Orleans, and Cuba; and if they want to lease or purchase, I am sure I can take their paper to help them establish a family and stock yard. 

[never complain about anything] What do you call your postings on here? Again, Joey helps and does nice things for his neighbors and if that weren’t true, then why are there so many positive postings that are in his defense?

Bitten by Love]
Must be something in the air! I was bitten by love almost 3 years ago and though he has been away, fighting the war, I love him more today than I did when we met.  God speed my love to me at the speed of love on gossamer wings.

[Pit Bulls are illegal] It seems to me that if we substitute the words in the Classification of Dogs as Dangerous posting to the word “kids or children” it would be the same thing.  The parents or owners are still responsible for the conduct of that which they are in charge of.

Donations for the Bush library to be built after he leaves office are now being accepted. Please send your coloring books and crayons to:
Sit down and Color
1789 Dick and Jane St.
Crawford, Texas 39906

Yes, I will sign the petition to lift the vacation rental ban. I’ve been living and working here over 18 years and I see a big change in the economy of the lower keys. The rentals brought a lot of money into our community. Not everyone living here is retired or rich.

Anyone know this guy

After I got my ticket I finally realized that the speed limit on Wilder Road is only 25mph. Why is that?

Does anyone know why there are no seat belts in school buses? It seems that every time I see an accident involving a school bus you can see the kids being tossed all over the place. I find it odd because the excuse “to protect our children” is used for just about everything.

[39 The Hungarian] Bucsi came out to the orchard mid week. I told him about my trip to Stigetbecse and the bottle of beer, Jóska just said, "I tried it too, but didn't like it, it's bitter." I told him what was bothering me. I heard mom and dad talking one evening, the subject of the conversation was Dömsöd. Mom didn't like the village any more, she called it a provincial dust bowl and she wanted to go back to Budapest. This was not news that I welcomed, I loved it here, all my friends were here. I didn't want to leave the village it was my turf. Dad told mom that he will look around and see what kind of apartments were available and how fast he could sell our house. I dreaded starting in a new school and being at the bottom of the totem pole. For now it was too early to think about the move, it was still the summer and a lot more fun lay ahead. I thought about Jutka and it made my...The Hungarian

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Saturday May 5, 2007


Friday May 4, 2007

[short term rental ban] Those who favor short term rentals in residential neighborhoods are attempting to portray themselves as simply being poor local working folks who can’t make ends meet unless they can rent their home sweet home out to short term vacationers.  Horse hockey, horse hockey, horse hockey.  This is more spin than a dollar top. 

Look folks, these aggressive rental agents are high powered real estate business interests.  They’re well funded and anxious to get back into your pants.  They are funding an appeal of our hard won short term rental ordinance.  The appeal has traveled through State and Federal Courts, and is currently before the Florida Supreme Court.  The appellant is E Neumont et al.  The ”et al” is about 10 or so other interests who seek to get back into the short term rental business.  Need I say that it takes really big and serious bucks to fund a legal action of this magnitude?  The County Attorney and Neumont’s lawyers have had oral arguments before the Court, and all are waiting for the Supremes to sing.  If the County should lose, it’s almost for sure that the ordinance would be repealed.  If this happens, we are all in for a serious fight.  Those who want short term rentals will begin a major lobbying campaign and start the donations flowing.  Our County Commission will become their sweethearts.  I would suggest that you begin letters, phone calls, and e-mails to County Commissioners to let them know where you stand. 

These big dollar predators can be beat, we beat them before.  We will beat them again if we have to.  Only a tiny percentage of short term rental property owners actually live and vote here.  Remember, it’s our quality of life vs their out of area profit.

Hilario Ramos
is dead. When he owned Lopez Distributing he has almost a monopoly on the beer sales in the Keys. Now, that’s a monopoly I’d like to have!

I cannot understand how people can still dismiss global warming as a myth. People are a scourge on the earth; your grandchildren may not ever get to enjoy some of the things that we have come to take for granted. The republicans and conservatives are still thinking about the almighty dollar where it concerns the costs that are needed to at least stabilize these issues. I would like to see my grandkids enjoy a coral reef but I doubt that they will. They have predicted that the great barrier reef will be gone entirely in about 50 years. If you don't believe it let us continue on our current path and these things are certain. Apathy is an awful thing. Sometimes I am not really proud to be a human being. The polar bears will be gone soon and we all say, "Well, what can I do?"

Where am I going with this? I can no longer take it when people abuse our environment. I am not an activist or extremist. I am neither a liberal nor a conservative. People, you’d better wake up before it’s (and it might already be) too late.  All I can say is that if you throw trash out of your car or a similar act, I will remove you from this planet personally if I see it. That will be my contribution to society.  

The popular HBO series The Sopranos is just a souped-up soap opera. The only difference is that all the males in it are murderers.

[The use of US military forces] Give that post many Kudos! I agree wholeheartedly. If they need to knocked down, let them get their shit together on their own. Why should the US have to pay twice? First for the ammo then for the bricks and mortar.

The bees are dying
and they don’t know why. What’ll happen to our food supply when the plants don’t get pollinated? This is another thing to worry about.

I'm so sorry that my younger days were so folksy and dull. That was probably because I didn't have an exciting boob-tube to watch. Unfortunately I had to create my own fun which, by the way, didn't include goat sex!

Christmas Tree Island is the next place that big development is coming too.

Happy Three Day Non-Smokingness to my little friend down the street. Congratulations!  We're all very proud of your progress and admire your braveness to go cold turkey.  You make it look so easy.  Stay the course, punkin!

Finally someone was able to photograph the pot at the end of the rainbow.

[regarding yesterdays Hoover joke] If you have to ride a Hoover you won’t understand anyhow.

Will Farrell does Bush on Global warming.

In a recent interview, Joe Theismann was asked his opinion of Brady Quinn as he enters the NFL.  Joe said that is was horrendous that he would be chewing gum during the draft and that his tie did not look proper and his hair looked as though he just got out of the shower.  Now, does this leave any further doubt that Joe is a cretin? But he is a fashion conscious cretin.

[No shit] So the legislature cut the funding for the Keys sewer projects form the budget, eh?  Could it be that Ron “I’ve got connections in Tallahassee” Saunders, our carpetbagging legislator is letting us down?

Injade is
playing again tonight, Friday, for an outdoor BBQ at the Key Deer Bar and Grille. Last Friday we all had way too much fun hanging out and partying with friends. Hope to see you there again! It was a great time!

The cat trapping is scheduled to begin on May 14.  Let’s take a look at the progress made by the intrepid woodsmen of Fish & Wildlife in the project:  Sand patches were placed throughout the range of the Marsh Rabbit to determine the places where these apex predators lurked, so that the traps could be placed most effectively and efficiently.  So what did our government descendants of Daniel Boone come up with?

For all of their stealth and cunning they came up with one cat footprint!  That’s right, one – uno, eins, une.  Tens of thousands of taxpayer dollars, yours and mine, are about to be spent by a group of people who can’t even find their targets.  Or, could it possibly be that the threat itself has been tremendously overblown in an effort to justify this boondoggle?

My fear is that since they apparently can’t even find the cats that they claim are doing the damage, they’ll make an effort to find some cats somewhere – likely your neighborhood or mine – whether there are Marsh Rabbits around or not.

I would like suggestions to keep the deer and coons out of my trash cans when they are put out for pick-up.  I use cans with snap-on lids secured with bungee cords and the critters still knock them over and paw at them until they get them open.  I have also tried various chemical deterrents like bleach, red pepper, chili powder etc. all to no avail. 

[Unedited] kudos  survey says you all so ignant you dont know you ignant thats ignant yeah everyones included me little smarter i figure it out all by myself there will be more on this later

There are no bad dogs just untrained people. (Biscuits and Gravy pictured here)

Last week, the respected University of Maryland Program on International Policy Attitudes, released its most recent survey of Muslim attitudes on America, terrorism and related topics. They surveyed attitudes in four representative Muslim countries: Egypt, Pakistan, Indonesia and Morocco

[Life Lesson]  In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later, Mbemb was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.  The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped
its trunk around one of Mbembe's legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly. 

It probably wasn't the same elephant.

BPK Funny Fridays. The calcium supplement for your funny bone.

Today is May 2. Or, as President Bush calls it, Veto de Mayo Day. ~Jay Leno

Four years ago today, President Bush gave his Iraq victory speech in front of the 'Mission Accomplished' banner. Well, I'm glad that's all behind us. ~David Letterman

I was reading an interview with Keith Richards in a magazine and in the interview Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards! Says that kids should not do drugs! Keith, we can't do any more drugs because you already f*cking did them all, alright! There's none left! We have to wait 'till you die and smoke your ashes! Jesus Christ! Talk about the pot and the f*ckin' kettle. ~Denis Leary

I just saw my grandmother, probably for the last time. She's not sick or anything, she just bores the hell out of me.  ~A. Whitney Brown

Here's the latest scandal in Washington: ... They say on '20/20' this week, the D.C. madam ... is going to list the names of famous Republicans who used her female escort service. ... That shows you the fundamental philosophical differences between the two parties. Bush Republicans believe in having the private sector provide sex for profit. Whereas, Clinton Democrats believe it should be a big give-away program. --Jay Leno

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. ~Steven Wright

I went to a fancy french restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" ~Steven Wright

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.   ~Jack Handey

There should be a detective show called "Johnny Monkey," because every week you could have a guy say "I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY," but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that.  ~Jack Handey

That's what makes this country great. The fact that thousands of Mexican people march in a state with an Austrian governor waving American flags made in China. ~Jay Leno

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. ~Denis Leary

I have three daughters, and people ask, "Were you upset that the third child was a girl?" I say. "No, not at all. I'm whittling a boy out of wood right now."~Bob Saget

"When the White House heard about this scandal, they were relieved. Finally, a Republican caught in a sex scandal with a woman. ~Jay Leno

I'm gonna get one of those tracheotomies, so I can smoke 2 cigarettes at the same time! I'm gonna get nine tracheotomies, all around my neck, I'll be Tracheotomy Man! he can smoke a pack at a time, he's Tracheotomy Man!   ~Denis Leary

There ought to be an FAA requirement that crying babies have to go in the overhead compartment.~Bobby Slayton

The Georgetown branch of the Washington, D.C., public library caught on fire today. The White House said at no time was President Bush in any danger. ~Jay Leno

Fear of flying is quite rational because human beings cannot fly. Humans have fear of flying the same way fish have a fear of driving.

Put a fish behind the wheel, and they go, "I shouldn't be doing this. I don't belong here. ~Jerry Seinfeld

Eating out is very expensive. I was in one restaurant; they didn't even have prices on the menu... Just pictures of faces with different expressions of horror. ~Rita Rudner

I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle. ~Steven Wright

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. ~Steven Wright

Guns don't kill people; it's those bullets ripping through the body.  ~Eddie Izzard

You can buy a gun at Wal-Mart, but your 4th of July sparklers you have to smuggle across the state line.  ~Jeff Cesario

The other bombshell coming out this week is former CIA director George Tenet has a new book where he says there was no serious debate within the administration about going into Iraq. It will hit the stores on Monday, under the title "No Sh*t." ~Bill Maher

At JFK airport, security guards made a woman drink a container of her own breast milk to prove that it was not a dangerous substance. What was even worse was that during the flight, they asked her to walk down the aisle when they served coffee.  ~Conan O'Brien

I'm the only person I know who ran out of gas at a car wash. I've also run out of gas at a drive-thru window at 1a.m. I had to push the car five feet, wait for someone to make an order, push it another five feet, wait for someone else to make an order, push it another five feet to give my order and buy something for the tow truck driver, too.  ~Dobie Maxwell

They asked Dick Cheney today if he was going read the book. He said, "Well, I never read anything before. Why should I start now?" ~Bill Maher

My dad's hearing is gone, and he won't admit it. When he reads, he goes, "What?" The mind is slowly following. He called me up the other night, very excited. He says, "Jonathan, when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night I don't have to turn on the light; the light goes on automatically. When I'm done, the light goes off automatically." I said, "Dad, you're peeing in the fridge and it's got to stop."~Jonathan Katz

Since when is a penny-ante card game in ones own home become illegal?

[I have a prescription list two miles long]  Whooooa, what do we have here? I never mentioned drugs. I guess that would explain some of your behavior.

Oh, yeah, the booming fireworks they sell in Winn Dixie. Wow, those are some damaging things they sell there.   So let me tell you a little about Joe from Begonia (remember I am not referring to another very nice man names Joe in Eden Pines on Violet). He has a foul mouth in front of women and children.  I know for a fact that he hates kids and he should have moved to an old people area instead of Eden Pines.  He runs that dam generator all day and then complains and calls the cops when his neighbors speak too loud. He calls the cops on all his neighbors on a regular basis for no reason except that he is a bored retired old man.  Noise is acceptable only when it is coming from his home; whether it be his card playing or pool playing. Let me just say I am a very good neighbor and never complain about anything.  Any trouble we have had he caused completely! --

I want to hear more of that story about the boy and his goat. It got my attention.

[Pit Bulls are illegal For persons concerned, here is the Florida Statute that would apply.  No particular dog is classified as dangerous and is only per incident.

767.10  Legislative Findings.--The Legislature finds that dangerous dogs are an increasingly serious and widespread threat to the safety and welfare of the people of this state because of unprovoked attacks which cause injury to persons and domestic animals; that such attacks are in part attributable to the failure of owners to confine and properly train and control their dogs; that existing laws inadequately address this growing problem; and that it is appropriate and necessary to impose uniform requirements for the owners of dangerous dogs.

767.12    767.12   Classification of Dogs as Dangerous;

(1)(a)  An animal control authority shall investigate reported incidents involving any dog that may be dangerous and shall, if possible, interview the owner and require a sworn affidavit from any person, including any animal control officer or enforcement officer, desiring to have a dog classified as dangerous.

[Concerning Muslim bathroom manners] Thank God I grew up in Georgia where we had corn cobs. The only training required was when to use the red ones and when to use the white ones (in case you’re a damn Yankee and didn’t know: use a white one last to see if you need to wipe some more).

[Vacation Rentals: Where are the petitions?  I will gladly sign for the ban to be lifted.] I bet your kind would, but signatures must be from local residents, not from out of state blood suckers, real estate land crabs, or Cay Club developers!

Want to see something interesting? It's a web site that shows who contributes to politicians. Type in the name of the person (i.e. Clinton) under "Campaign Finance Profile" click on the year, and then on the left click on "Top Industries."    Lawyers were by far her biggest contributors, as with many democrats.   

Joey on Begonia in Eden Pines is a good neighbor. He is the best neighbor we've ever had; very friendly and helpful. He cares for his neighbors and friends. Don't worry Joey, some people are just jealous of you.

[Tales of my childhood in the old country- continued]  As I was having my first sexual experience in the highlands with my new goat friend, my gray-headed mother, who was watching from afar suddenly fell to the ground convulsing. Fearing that she had suffered a stroke I disengaged from the goat and ran as fast as my little legs could carry me to see what had happened. It turns out that instead of her having some horrible malady, she had fallen to the ground in fits of laughter. When she finally stopped laughing I questioned her as to what was so funny? She told me that I had chosen the ugliest goat in the herd.

[bitten by love] Are you sure it wasn't a crotch cricket?

[mangrove attorneys] I don't care who you are, that there's funny!

Years ago I used to go swimming at the Blue Hole and can’t remember how to get there.  Can someone help?

For the people that are saying pit bulls are bad. It doesn't really matter because we are still going to love an care for our dogs just like they are our children.

This is totally nuts. The mystery of what makes your little mouse arrow move across the screen. Click the link below (or type it in )  takes a minute to load. When it loads click your mouse over the empty space.

[By Tony Blankley] Whenever I refer to the threat of radical Islam, I am inundated with e-mails chastising me for unjustified alarmism (that is the polite description of the missives). This week, even the esteemed and often accurate British Economist accused me, by name, of overestimating the threat and being alarmist on the topic.

I just saw, for the first time, the newest animal that needs protection on No Name Key. The Key Moose is here. They are bigger than the key deer but not as big as a Shetland pony. So drive slowly, there’s not many now and we need them to multiply.

"Seasonal business cycles are nothing new to the Keys or to any other resort area.  The ebb and flow of tourism is influenced by the market, base economic conditions, fuel costs, and a myriad of other factors."

I, for one, do not want short term rentals in any way shape or form. However, as a business owner here in the keys, I love to see thinking like this.  Clearly the writer is an academic that is not running a business right here, right now.  When I attended biz school, nowhere did I see anything about surviving two insane hurricane seasons, and a summer from hell after that!  Folks, we are on the verge of an economic downturn here in the Keys not seen for a long time.  Wait for the local banks to start begging for a bail out from all the bad paper they are holding.

Dear Ed:  Why not start a side column, "Things I hate"? It seems this would be the biggest draw since most people here, hate everything! Or you could create an Online "Things I hate" interactive response link that people can read the 100 most hated things in the Keys and have little boxes that people could check. Then tally all at the end of the year. One input per email address of course! (Ed: We’re game. If our readers would like it we’ll do it. A completely negative blog!)

Did anyone hear about the boy and girl who got beat up in Wine Dixie parking lot?

[Dead biker] Who are we to pass judgment? While I can sympathize with your loss you have to understand that the people he endangered are upset as well. He obviously was not thinking about anyone but himself that day as he sped recklessly down US1 at over 100 mph for at least 30 miles on one of the deadliest stretches of highway in the state. He almost hit an SUV head on with a mother and her two children in it. If she had not been paying attention and had not been in an area of US1 where she could swerve off the road without meeting a guard rail and possibly the water who knows what the outcome of that family would have been. 

He had no idea what he was heading toward as he rode down the double yellow line and into oncoming traffic since was looking behind him to see if the sheriff was still in pursuit, which he was not. That mom was ME. I thank God that He helped me to keep control of my vehicle. My husband has ridden motorcycles for 15 years and has never nor would he ever pull a stunt like he did. He did not think about the innocent people he could have hurt or killed. He did not think he would die by his own reckless actions. He did not think about the mother, father, sister, cousins, friends, or others he would leave behind to grieve that day. If he had he would still be here. Unfortunately he is not and unfortunately he will not be the last to die this way.

The one positive thing that can come of this is to use him as an example of what not to do when training new bikers. They need to know that their actions have the potential to affect and shatter countless lives if they choose not to ride safely.

[38 The Hungarian] This summer was special for me for the simple reason that I received my birthday present early and it was just what I wanted--a full size bicycle. The main reason I got it was because it was too big to hide for three months. I had a kiddie bike with small wheels and solid tires, but I was now too big for that. When I was seven mom took me with her to visit one of her brothers at the village of Alsónémedi. She rode her women’s full size bike alongside me on my little kiddie bike. That was some trip, we went on secondary roads, paths, and places where there were no roads. The one thing I remember the most is that I kept falling down, mostly on a sandy surfaces. When the road was good and mom went at a leisurely pace I had to pedal like a sonufabitch just to keep up. I was so tired and glad when we got home I fell asleep while mom was making diner. I showed my...The Hungarian

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Friday May 4, 2007


Thursday May 3, 2007

Our illustrious mayor has written a letter asking for clemency for Ex-County Attorney Jim Hendricks so he can “help the County work on affordable housing issues”.

Hey, Mario, he had his chance to do just that when he worked for the County.  Instead he was part of a plot to sell us out to developers.

[Is that really true that Muslims use their hand to wipe themselves?] Yes, this is quite true, and is why they never eat with their left hands or touch anyone - a grave insult. They are a very primitive people in certain ways, who have been so closeted by their rulers and religion, that they have no real idea of the rest of the world. This is why most of them cannot be dealt with logically and with common sense. They are, as we are to them, about as close as you can get to a true alien. I hope this will change without a bloody religious war, but I doubt it!

How to design restrooms for Islam:

In a previous life the army required my services and turned me into a combat medic. Two tours in the rice paddies. I was armed with morphine and a .45--that was it. I crawled under tracer fire and other crap more times than I can count to bring back those I could reach.  We all felt that we could win it if we were led by intelligent generals and politicians. Instead they bungled it every step of the way with an un-winnable war of attrition and we paid the price in lives and wounded--and we lost. 

I am having a hard time seeing anything different coming out of Iraq. The politicians and generals are playing Russian roulette with our troops and Iraq is turning out to be as big a cluster-f**k as the one I was in. I feel badly for our men and women in uniform. They deserve much better. We are letting them down again.  I believe that our military should be used surgically - get in, accomplish the mission, and get out. Staying too long is always disastrous, as we are now seeing.  Four years ago our initial mission was accomplished. We got rid of Saddam and gave Iraq to the Iraqi people. It has all been downhill from there.  I weep for our soldiers, and our nation.

I was bitten by love.

[short term rentals] Dear friends, get real.  Those who endeavor to permit short term rentals are real estate investors anxious to make the most bucks from their investments as possible.  That’s not a bad thing.  The bad thing is that they want to make profit at the unwilling expense of those who live in the community.  It’s likely that these investors made their purchases long after the ban was in place.  They chose to invest knowing the risk and the profit potential.  If any investor is unable to make mortgage payments, tax payments, insurance payments, or put in a new kitchen on his/her investment property, it is not the fault or responsibility of the neighbors.  It damn sure isn’t the fault of the short term rental ban. 

The ban did not raise fuel prices, insurance, tax rates, or mortgage rates.  I’ll tell you what.  I want to put in solar panels so that I can cut down on my utility bills, are you willing to pay for a share of the costs?  Or, I’d really like to get a 42’ RV but I don’t have room to park it.  How about letting me park it at your place?  I forgot to mention that these pesky mortgage payments are just too much for me.  Can I count on you to give me a $100 a month to help out?  Those who can’t afford the mortgage payments on rental houses are suffering a business setback, not the loss of their home sweet home.

I have no duty to subsidize Winn Dixie or CV Pharmacy.  I have no duty to subsidize any business person who endeavors to place a business in my residential neighborhood.  I have no duty to endure the disruption caused by short term renters.  We’ve all heard of, or, endured, the travail short term renters cause.

Seasonal business cycles are nothing new to the Keys or to any other resort area.  The ebb and flow of tourism is influenced by the market, base economic conditions, fuel costs, and a myriad of other factors.  Pro rental voices bemoan that the rental ban keeps limited budget tourists from visiting the Keys.  It’s more than likely that limited budget tourists aren’t likely to spend precious dollars in restaurants and bars when a rental house has a kitchen and a deck.  Limited budget tourists aren’t likely to spend precious dollars on groceries that they can buy cheaper on the mainland.  Limited budget tourists aren’t likely to spend precious dollars on dive gear that’s a lot cheaper on the mainland.  Face it folks; short term renters are not big time spenders.  We don’t owe anyone a vacation.

Short term renters will not bring serious tourist dollars to the Keys, but they will bring back noise and disruption to our neighborhoods.  Residential neighborhoods are not places of business.

Yes sir, the "rich", the hotel interests, and those retirees are uncaring greedy troglodytes.  They’ve got “the market” right where they want it.  Those hoteliers want to make money from tourists.  Damn them for that.  Those “rich retirees” are the worst.  They live here in quiet neighborhoods.  They pay lotsa taxes, they buy groceries, they buy gas, they visit bait and tackle shops, they visit restaurants and bars, they get their homes painted, they buy appliances, they pay for their windstorm insurance. They bring lotsa dollars to the Keys, and they spend lotsa dollars.  Retirees vote.  The “rich retirees” are you and me.  Some work, some don’t. Some rely on social security, some don't. Some own property, some don’t.  To suggest that "rich retirees" and hotel interests have anything “where they want it” is just, well, silly.

Permitting short term rentals would bring nothing to the Keys except profit for real estate investors, and serious disruption to residential neighborhoods.

How many people have the same name as you do? How Many of Me - Census Search Results

Police say a 10-year-old boy called 911 after his parents left him alone to go out drinking. Key West officers found the boy alone early yesterday morning. He told police that his parents, Clinton and Amy Morris, left Monday night and told him they would be back in an hour.  The boy told officers his mother wasn't answering her cell phone, and he didn't know his father's number. Police found the father's number and told the couple to return to the house where they had been staying.  The parents were arrested and charged with child neglect. The Department of Children and Families took custody of the boy.

[Muslims] One interesting thing about their toilet habits is that they wipe with their left hand. They use their right hand for eating. So if one of them loses a hand for any reason all their friends know they are using the same hand for both tasks which is extremely taboo in their culture.

Iran is giving Iraq 1 billion dollars for reconstruction projects. I guess its OK to deal with terrorist nations if they are giving you something. How nice.

I guess Iraq never has to stand on its own. Free military and money from us and free money from Iran. It sucks but it seems the terrorist are playing Bush like a fiddle. Osama is kicking Bush ass. 

Crime & Punishment. Fresh out of law school in early 1968, I had an incredible opportunity fall into my lap. The law clerk of a United States District Judge in Birmingham, Alabama unexpectedly resigned and the judge was left without a law clerk. I learned of it through a law professor, wrote to the judge, went for an interview and was hired by a man I would come to view as the mostly Godly man I have ever known, even though he used to drink moonshine, cussed and didn't attend church. He counseled lawyers, US Attorneys, US Marshalls, US Probation Officers, US District Court employees, aspiring politicians, local ministers, me, and other folks in chambers. Behind the scenes, he ran the Democratic Party in Alabama. No one ran on the Democratic ticket without first getting Judge's blessing...Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo

"That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do."  --Mark Twain

Oh my, I am having Howard Livingston and Mile Marker 24 withdraw symptoms because they won't be playing until the 11th at Boondocks.  Their new CD is so fun, that I had to buy another one at their Sunday afternoon show.  The song, "Mangrove Mama's" has been played over and over again.    

[Peace] I am so thankful to be where I am in life especially after comparing it to others.  When I see others living in horrible situations, drug / alcohol addicted and they're just not happy people, it makes me realize how Blessed we are to live down here and not be Keys Diseased, but, rather, being healthy, unchained to anything bad, able to sleep and eat well and not have to answer to anybody or anything.  Too bad there are not many like-minded people like this here. 

What's with this post knocking The Hungarian? There is plenty of room in this forum, other people like the drivel this guy writes. Do you write anything? No? Than why do you complain about space? If you don’t want to read it—just skip over it. What do you know about Ed's work load? Oh, you don't know! Then what are you whining about? Write to Ed, there is plenty more room. If you don't want to then shut up about the Hungarian!

Dear President Bush, On May 1, Illegal Aliens dishonored our country by demanding something they did not earn—U.S. citizenship.  Please use your influence to block all moves in Congress to reward lawbreakers with citizenship, welfare, and other benefits true Americans have fought and died for.  Amnesty is not a solution—it's a surrender.

[And we still haven't turned Afghanistan into a penal colony] A Web site based in Seattle shamelessly encourages pedophiles to look all they want at kids (and gives tips for where the sightseeing is best), as long as they don't touch, and police admitted to Fox News in March that so far, that's not illegal. Said founder Jack McClellan, 45 (whose preference is for girls ages 3 to 11): "I really think this pedophilia hysteria is overblown." "There's a kind of code of ethics that these pedophiles have developed." "(Many people) have the attraction, but they're not going to do anything physical because of the laws." (After the Fox report, the Internet service provider closed the Web site.)

[Misguided vacation rental] the writer says that only retirees and hotels are against short term rentals. Wrong. He forgot to mention those of us neighboring those noisy houses. Haven’t you been paying attention for the last ten years? Also, the only hotel rooms we lost is the Big Pine Motel.

In the spirit of shameless self promotion, friends of Philo: Please come and say hi at Coconuts Thursday and Friday nights. It will be the last performance in the Keys for a long time. I’m going to central Florida for health reasons so come out and if you are a musician you are welcome to sit in!

five foot alligator that tried to walk into my open garage came right out of the salt pond.  He was later seen swimming in the canal and had his next human encounter in a yard across the canal.

There is not one person here that wants short term rentals unless they have a vested interest. Making money at our expense doesn't make sense.

Ceasar Milan rocks! He even fixed Eric Cartman!

[37 The Hungarian] When they got to the road they turned and waved to us, we waved back. For a while Búcsi and I just stood there and looked at each other, and then we broke into wild happy laughter. If anyone would have been there, they would have thought that we were crazy. We locked arms and danced around singing, "Were no longer virgins, were no longer virgins that nobody can deny! That nobody can deny!" To the tune of For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow and ran headlong into the water laughing. I had a feeling of happiness that I didn't experience again for a very long time. I told Búcsi about it and he felt the same way, "You know Joska, I learned more this afternoon than I did in school last year." "Yea, me too and it was a lot more exciting and it felt a lot better too." " Jóska, we can't tell anybody about this. Not to brothers, sisters or friends. You understand?" "Sure I understand, Imre, they’d just call us liars." "That’s right, they would, so we better keep it to ourselves. Give me your hand on that." We shook hands and swam some more still giggling. I didn't see Búcsi for a couple of days after that. I finally ran into him at Orosz beach. I went there because they just finished building a five meter high diving tower there and I wanted to try it out. He was there for the same reason. My brother Steve was with me and he brought his pyromaniac brother George. George and Steve were the same...The Hungarian

I never pee in the ocean. I pee in a bottle, cap it, bring it in and dispose of it properly. All you ocean pee people should be ashamed of yourselves!

[North American Union] These boys are very sneaky. First it was NAFTA, CAFTA, and then the signing of an agreement that is hard to find or confirm of the North American Union. Here is just another indicator of the sneaky approach they are taking. About he demonstrations; I just wonder who came over our borders while this was going on. Are they a practice for the one that will turn violent, requiring the President to declare martial law? Authorities have already started leaking the possibility of Al Qaeda sneaking over while these demonstrations are going on. Trucks bring over more drugs that are linked to Black Ops and sleepers that are linked to Black ops. Keep watching for the pieces to fall in place.

[In Cesar's opinion, no one should ever hit or yell at a dog to correct unwanted behavior] If one of those dogs latched onto Cesar's jewels he would just calmly talk to the animal and show him who's the alpha male…sure he would.

I agree. Give the Hungarian his own slot. Quit cluttering up this site with those lengthy ramblings. If you must ramble, then at least make it interesting.  

"When I was a small child, my mother used to go down to the stone well to fetch water for our one meager meal. Sometimes I would walk down the dusty path with her and help crank the old oaken bucket up and down. I will always cherish those fond memories from my childhood in the old country - especially my adventures with goat sex."

This video was the most watched this week on YouTube. It all started when documentary filmmaker Tim Samuels was making a hard-hitting series for the BBC about the isolated and disenfranchised elderly in Britain titled Power To The People.  He wanted to have a grand finale for his project by bringing together 40 of his subjects to record The Who's My Generation at Abbey Road studios in London to bring attention to their situation and blow some misconceptions of the elderly out of the water. U2's producer and Band Aid's video director jumped on board, the project gained momentum and the recording session went down.

A pit bull attack that was prevented by a little dog who gave his life to save some kids- yeah , pit bulls sure are gentle dogs. terrier-dies-protecting-kids-from-pit/

If you want to stop future Iraqs and Vietnams we need to have a Constitutional amendment that deals with the use of our military forces. A military force is meant to destroy its enemy—period. It isn’t trained to police unregulated societies, referee civil wars or rebuild what we tore up kicking their asses in the first place. Go in annihilate the enemy and leave it to them to pick up the pieces at their own expense. If they don’t do it right we can just let them to start over again and again until they figure it out or there aren’t any of them left to worry about. But no, we just flex our muscles a little, put on a good show and start throwing buckets of money at the problem.

Every third world rat-hole country should be lining up and taking a number waiting to piss us off so we can rebuild their country with our tax dollars.

[Amnesty] Are you kidding? Where's my cut of the taco, Dude? I was born here and paid my freight from day one, so don't tell me I have to share my booty with some people who can't even fix their own country and want to wreck mine too! I will not buy anything from anyone or hire anyone who doesn't speak English!

[Muslims use their hand to wipe themselves] Absolutely the truth. In the desert they clean up their hand with sand because water is scarce. Also they only use the left hand, so when they offer someone their right hand it is a fighting insult.

[comes here every year and does a study of the dragonflies] With whose grant money does this guy party with? Tell me he chases bug to get his jollies off for free.

[Amnesty?] BS! Start up Operation Wetback. It was done before it can be done again. Prominent Hispanics in the California government stated that they politicize the Hispanics in their districts and elsewhere to achieve their goal of returning the southwest to Mexico without a shot being fired. In the meantime, just in Orange County, Ca, there are 275 Hispanic gangs with 17000 members. In some Hispanic neighborhoods the police have to go in force to make a simple arrest. I have forgotten the person’s name who said, "a country that has no control over her borders has no control over her destiny"

In the game Border Patrol vs Wet Backs they are about as useless as tit's on a boar hog! I'm for building a wall and sowing it with thousands of anti-personnel mines on the Mexican side and a ten yard belt of razor wire on the US side and patrolled day and night. Anyone getting thru in one piece automatically gets a green card. If you are shot or get a leg blown off, you get to try again.

This is for all the mangrove attorneys who have been popping up on this site lately.  Please quote the statute or ordinance that says Pit Bulls are illegal in Monroe County.

Everybody in the 3rd world wipes their butts with the left hand. They do not touch anybody with the left hand.

Just by reading this forum I can plainly see that the residents of the Keys are getting a Royal Screwing by the county government. The high priced lawyers, ruining a good water access for a lame reason and buying another at the highest dollar. The graft, corruption, and nepotism, is as plain as the noses on your faces.

It wasn’t this bad when the drug dealing sheriff ran the place. Throw Mussolini’s cousin out of city hall. Call for a referendum and dump that bum and all his cronies!

Good morning fellow Jazz lovers. I'm Chuck Thomas of U.S. 1 Radio. On Sunday, May 13th at 6AM, it's the debut of "Jazz Flavors", a mix of Smooth and Classic Jazz. Everything from Al Jarreau, Spyro Gyra and Sade to Dave Brubeck, Ella Fitzgerald and Count Basie. If you're into Jazz, or just want to hear something a little different on the radio, please check it out. Jazz Flavors, Sunday mornings at 6, beginning May 13th on 194.1 U.S. 1 Radio and on line at Thank you. Jazz rocks!

[Vacation Rentals] Where are the petitions?  I will gladly sign for the ban to be lifted.

[Muslim hygiene]

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover? The position of the dirt bag.

[skip that Hungarian] Personally, I like reading it; and just think of all the exercise your mouse hand is getting when you skip over it.

Joe on Begonia is a good neighbor and well liked, so what is your problem with him? 

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Thursday May 3, 2007


Wednesday May 2, 2007

[Unusually clear water] The water normally clears up around Easter and stays nice until the first storm. The water was very clear for a few weeks but has started to cloud back up. Once or twice a year it clears up enough to see the Bush from the surface and dive the coral plateaus in Hawks. I have had several different theories on visibility on the reef line. Inshore waters normally just need calm water and little rain for extended periods of time. The reef line is harder to determine. Just traveling from east to west or west to east on the reef a few miles or less can have drastic changes in visibility. Channels, tides, run off, wind speed and direction, and obviously the Gulf Stream may all impact visibility. But what affects the location of the Gulf Steam? I find the best visibility is normally with an incoming high tide and extended time periods with light to moderate east to south wind and low run off. But even with these conditions met the visibility can be milky. Some places on the reef are generally clearer then others. Just west of American the visibility is normally the worst, while around Looe Key it’s normally the clearest. But the difference between the east side of Looe Key and the west side can be huge with the east side normally clearer. Sometimes none of this matters. It just does not make sense to me. Maybe someone can enlighten all of us on this subject.

[Cyclist killed after 100+ mph police chase] In regards to the young motorcyclist who lost his life on April 21st in Key West.  Who are we to pass judgment on this individual?  I didn't know that all of us were so perfect.  He may not have been driving in the most proper fashion at the most appropriate speed, but I've been down in the Keys and there are a lot of individuals, mainly the locals who drive like maniacs themselves.  I'm thankful that no one else was hurt during this incident, but am grateful that God felt it necessary to take this soul into his world before any damage could happen in our world. I'm in no way approving of the situation, but I did want to bring something to everyone’s attention.  This was a young man with a family, a sister, parents and friends who loved him no matter what he may have done.  A young man whose sister, parents and friends are grieving for him.  A sister who weeps for him, and there's nothing that I can do to console her.  A sister whose two young sons are missing their uncle.  A sister whose husband helped to identify the body of her brother.  A sister who is missing her younger sibling. He was only 27. And parents that are devastated and missing their only son.  It's such a small world. We do not live in the Keys, but do live in Florida and this sister is my dear neighbor and friend.

I was bitten by a Chow.

Is that really true that Muslims use their hand to wipe themselves? I find that hard to believe. No wonder they hate the rest of humanity.

Today’s NY Times has an article about attempts to grow coral in the Keys. The project is run by Ramrod Key’s own Meghan Johnson. You go, girl!

[Amnesty] Yesterday on CNN I watched the protests at the major US cities. I lived in the USA for forty years and I remember that there was an amnesty about every ten years. To me, and I'm sure many others, this looks like the INS and the Border Patrol do a crap job. When they can no longer deal with the problem they ask for an amnesty!

All the illegals just have to wait it out. All that time they just rob the nation’s treasury, they get welfare, their kids go to school and day care and they pay no taxes. It’s no wonder they keep coming. Nothing deters them. The post that’s about catching illegals is interesting, but that’s nothing but a fart in a thunderstorm.

Stylist Ben Dover at your service.

[It was a Democratic lead Congress that gave the approval to invade Iraq] Wrong!

If they don’t impeach Bush I’ll never have respect for our country again.

[See, things are getting better] To fund a new Iraqi economy and government after the March 2003 invasion, the U.S. Federal Reserve shipped 484 pallets of shrink-wrapped U.S. currency, weighing 363 tons, totaling more than $4 billion, and, according to a House of Representatives committee staff report in February, most of the cash was either haphazardly disbursed or distributed to proper channels but with little follow-up tracking. By March 2007, The Times of London found bank records revealing, for instance, that two unremarkable Baghdad small-business men (appointed to the defense ministry) eventually deposited over $1 billion in private accounts in Jordan, and that U.S. efforts to buy state-of-the-art equipment for the Iraqi army were seriously undermined because middlemen purchased only cheap, obsolete Polish munitions and pocketed the savings.

Barack Obama
is one dark horse that the media grooms for loss.  Hey, somebody's got to lose.  This country will never have a president with so ethnic sounding a name.  It's that simple.  A rose by any other name would still have thorns.

To another visitor/newcomer: the swimming hole is not the Blue Hole which does have alligators.

[Get rid of the Pit Bulls, period] I cannot believe you people, it is illegal to own such critters if they are listed as an animal that is considered dangerous in Monroe County.  Read the laws and get rid of all killer pets, especially attack Snowbirds!

[fireworks vs. hosting poker games] You are absolutely crazy for comparing illegal fireworks and a card game.  Since when did penny-ante card games in ones own home become illegal?  Then I guess I was "really" playing illegal when I played quarter-ante poker with my grandfather years ago.

And what has Joey ever done to you that was so bad? Huh, Or is it that you just like starting crap with people? I think that is all it is.  You just like stirring up trouble.

I know that he always helps out all his neighbors without even being asked; and oh, yea, remember shooting booming fireworks are illegal and can cause a whole lot of damage, so he has every right to call the police.

Richie Moretti
owner of Hidden Harbor motel and director of the Turtle Hospital places a no vacancy sign on the motel sign during the storm surge

Speaking of the Turtle Hospital, what's Richie doing with Hidden Harbor Motel?

Alligators spend a lot of time in salt water.  Although it irritates their eyes and they eventually need to get into fresh water, alligators will go where the food is.  I have seen alligators in several canals in the lower keys and in Pine Channel. 

Why the hell is Rosie O'Donnell so popular? If there are that many American women out there who identify with and support that bull-dyke sebaceous hog, then I am leaving this country for places where women are really women and men aren't scared.

How much longer do I have to skip that Hungarian crap?  What's up with that?   Is this the medium for telling your life story?  Who cares?  Write a book, that way people who want to read it will and you won't be taking up the Ed's valuable time and space for other writers.

Reference: the supposed increase in crime in Australia after the gun buy-back. It's more Big Pine BS because the piece quoted leads the reader to believe that much of the Australian citizenry owned handguns until their ownership was made illegal and all firearms owned by "law-abiding citizens" were collected by the government through a buy-back program in 1997. This is not so.

Australian citizens do not (and never did) have a constitutional right to own firearms, even before the 1997 buyback program. Handgun ownership in Australia was restricted to certain groups such as those needing weapons for occupational reasons, members of approved sporting clubs, hunters, and collectors.

Moreover, the 1997 buyback program did not take away all the guns owned by these groups; only some types of firearms (primarily semi-automatic and pump-action weapons) were banned. And even with the ban in effect, those who can demonstrate a legitimate need to possess prohibited categories of firearms can petition for exemptions from the law.

Given this context, any claims based on statistics (even accurate ones) which posit a cause-and-effect relationship between the gun buy-back program and increased crime rates because "criminals now are guaranteed that their prey is unarmed" are automatically suspect, since the average Australian citizen didn't own firearms even before the buyback.

The Dog Whisperer has a Pit bull named "Daddy" and his web site has helped me tremendously in addition to the training we are receiving from Pampered Paws.

Cesar counsels people to calmly, assertively, and consistently give their dogs rules, boundaries and limitations to establish themselves as solid pack leaders and to help correct and control unwanted behavior. He doesn't believe in "quick fixes," even though changing some behaviors can appear to happen in a relatively short period of time. None of those changes will "stick," however, unless the human acts consistently with his/her dog every day to keep unwanted behaviors from returning. In Cesar's opinion, no one should ever hit or yell at a dog to correct unwanted behavior.

If you actually believe there are no alligators in salt water you are showing signs that you haven't been here long at all. That is just a foolish tale somebody told you. Alligators are in our canals, in the channels and have no problem in the salt water. Look closely when you take your boat out. They like to hang around the opening of canals.

[Deer Abby] My friend's wife has got to be anorexic. She is skinny as a rail and every time we have dinner with her and her hubby she heads for the bathroom immediately after the meal to lighten her load. I don't think her husband has a clue as to what is going on. Should I tell him or just ignore this disgusting situation?

This time of year we usually have clear water. The green comes in when the water temperature rises and algae blooms. We used to have 100 plus visibility days all spring, summer and fall. The only time we didn't have incredible visibility was after storms. Ask any diver of old, they will all tell you how good it was way back when.

I read today that in Roatan iguanas are becoming difficult to find due to the fact that they are eaten there. Someone ought to start an iguana meat export business in the Keys!

I agree with you about the “African American” thing.  I don’t run around calling myself a European American because my ancestors are from Europe.

[Gun control] I can't believe the criminals didn't turn in their guns, don't they know they are breaking the law? Shame on them.

[bring back vacation rentals in the lower keys]  This is ridiculous.  When the economy of the lower keys was great, the “rich” wanted to make it their own (after they stayed in a vacation home and then bought a place).  Well, we said it would hurt us all financially.  And it has.  We are missing a lot of hotel rooms and people that want to come either can’t afford the $400/night to get several rooms for their family or are sent directly to Key West.  It has taken some time to happen, but slowly, our seasons have become defined again.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m sure the bartenders, waitresses, dive shops, tackle shops, etc., will all agree that they are very slow and need to make more money.  Not to mention all of the people being foreclosed because they can no longer afford their mortgage due to the Windstorm insurance and they can’t sell their home due to the market conditions, and they can’t rent their house for enough to pay the mortgage.  I’m sorry but it makes sense on all accounts.  The only people that won’t like it are either the retirees that don’t need to make a living here and the hotels.  Right now, they have the market cornered and that was just what they wanted.  Those of us who work for a living need more tourism here in the lower keys, not in Key West. We need to make this happen.  If you see a petition come your way please sign it if you are a registered voter.

[Gators not in salt water] We have a gator that shows up in our saltwater canal every few weeks. When you come
down next year you can get a picture.

Bush vetoed the spending bill yesterday and took the pressure off the Iraq government to start governing. I'm not sure that the Iraqis know that we're there to fight terrorism. They might think we're there to stop the civil war. Mission Accomplished!

[Moondogs at Picnic Is] I'm sure you've peed in the Ocean. But why don't you just stay home and pee in your nasty pool? I'm going to hear some great music and see some great people and have a great time!

Begonia in Eden Pines has very few people living there so what is all the fuss?  It has always been a quiet area.

Think you know what an illegal poker game is, huh? You obviously don't know as much about the law as you think!  We also play roulette and Black Jack; although those are free for teaching purposes when we go on cruises or to Vegas. But according to FL Statute 849.085, our "private poker games" are nobody's business but busybodies! But more than that, I have common sense and respect for others. My private activities don't interfere with your life or anybody's life, unless I am trying to help you or you start some stupid shit!

Just keep picking away until you think you have something though, because that is all your pathetic life exists for, right? And before you even try to bring up drugs, I have a prescription list two miles long from the VA that makes Bahama Village look tame, so anything in my system I have a legal prescription for. 

[tourist all dressed up in safari gear] The person you saw comes here every year and does a study of the dragonflies. By studying the dragonflies they can tell different things about the environment, drought conditions, etc. I stopped him a couple of years ago because I thought they were looking for a lost parrot or pet, he explained what they were doing. Kinda cool!

[36 The Hungarian] It was at that time that we realized that we were naked, except for the mud, and we covered our privates. The two girls had smiles on their faces and the dark haired one spoke first, "There’s no need to hide anything guys, we’ve been watching you for a while and just waited for the others to leave. My name is Jutka and this is my friend Kata and we don't have anything to hide either!" And they hoisted the hem of their dresses high enough that we could see their pussies, and they had hair on them. We never saw pussies with hair before. They let their dresses down and the one with the light hair, Kata, spoke, "Jutka and I are going down that road to that large corn field to play house. If you want to come along we wouldn't mind." "My name is Búcsi Jóska and this is my friend Imre and as soon as we rinse of you’re damn right we’ll go with you." Both of us made a dash for the water and started scrubbing. While doing that Búcsi said, "I've seen these girls around, they're older than we are and they have a reputation." "All the better, my friend. Maybe they will teach us a thing or two. Didn't you notice they have titties?" We ran to the bushes for our shorts then walked over to Jutka and Kata. "Well were ready to go if you are." said I. Búcsi agreed. They started walking in front of us. I don't know about Búcsi, but with each step my...The Hungarian

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Tuesday May 1, 2007

How on earth can yesterday's poster compare annoying/scaring your neighbors and possibly burning down the woods and other people's homes by lighting fireworks vs. hosting poker games in the privacy of one's own home?

There are no alligators in the swimming hole because it’s salt water.

[left-wing environmental wacko, nut case] I fear you and people like you who have no respect for the planet and think that anyone who does is an extremist.

Polish toilet paper
[Polish Toilet paper] The only way you can use one sheet is to stick your finger thru a hole in the middle of a sheet and scrape the crap from your butt hole; then slide the sheet off your finger while using the single sheet to clean the offending finger. Don't forget to get under your nail.

This is just an observation that may be worthy of some discussion amongst environmentalists, politicians, and just plain ol' citizens in general.  The water around here has been unusually clear of late.  Sunday I boated over to Niles channel from Bow and I could see bottom nearly all the way.  I can't recall ever seeing the sandy and grassy bottom of Niles channel before while drifting from the bridge out to Little Palm.  Could this possibly be due to the drought and lack of runoff from "big sugar" up in the everglades as well as our own pollutants? 

We thought you would enjoy a shot of our latest release from the Turtle Hospital.

A loveless marriage means “single”. Look it up.

I just saw a tourist all dressed up in safari gear at the north end of Key Deer Blvd looking for nature.

The man reporting the illegal fireworks is playing in illegal poker games? I guess it isn’t the glass house in Eden Pines.

[Iguana lady] I hope this lady doesn’t release them here. And I thought the cat ladies were odd! Iguana Rescue In West Hartford

I can’t wait for the Moondogs’ drink-beer-and-pee-in-the-ocean concert July 4th!

Muslims don’t use toilet paper. They use their hand and then wash their hand when done. All bathrooms in the Muslim world have a small plastic bucket next to the toilet to help in this shitty task. This is done all over the world and no one ever mentions it when they’re insulting Islam. I think it’s not mentioned because it’s so hard to believe.

[Not!] Just to set the record straight it was a democrat controlled Congress that approved the Iraq invasion and now a democrat controlled congress that continues funding the democrat’s war.

Happy 16th birthday Fallon. We love you!

[Obama, Barack, a Senator from Illinois; born in Honolulu, Hawaii, August 4, 1961]  Oh my God, maybe the writer of this segment didn't quite understand what it was that they had written. That this man was born in Hawaii makes him an American, nothing more, nothing less. It does not make him an African-American. As long as I can remember, from high school, Hawaii was one of the states of the United States. He was not born in Africa, I am sick and tired of black people who are born here, and their parents, and probably their grandparents who were born here, in the Unites States, to call themselves, African-Americans.

If you are born in Africa, and move here, obtain citizenship, then I will consider you an African-American, just like the Cuban-Americans who come here and get citizenship. That's how you do it. You cant just be born here, and think that everyone in the country is going to give you a specialized name because of you skin color.

You’re an American, plain and true, nothing more, I'm a white American born in Md, Jose is a brown American born in Jersey, and Shanakikianaki was born in Atlanta, and by God she's an American too. Period. Black people: you’re Americans just like the rest of us. If you want to be African-Americans, go live in Africa. Then, by God, you'll finally be African-Americans.   And that's all I have to say about that! 

There's nothing worse than a busy-body and this little town is full of them. People need a life, hobbies, projects and maybe a nice long vacation away from the Keys.  Stop the vicious gossip, going through your neighbor’s trash, peeking out windows at unsuccessful attempts to know people’s private business. We shred our documents and do not give nosy neighbors any fodder what-so-ever. In fact, some of us enjoy supplying you with completely inaccurate and goofy info and watch the silly-ass shit you pull. The downstairs enclosure renter alcoholic guys are perfect additions to your homes and lifestyles.

[Alcohol Tobacco Firearms] That should be a store not a government agency.

If I can only use one sheet of TP I might as well drip dry!

Get rid of the Pit Bulls, period. First of all, it’s an ugly dog. Second, 99% of the time, people get them to be their protection for which training starts right off the bat. You don't get a gun to play horseshoes with do you? Well you surely don't get a Pit to be all snuggled up with on a Sat night to watch movies with, right? And when you’re watching TV and one of those damned crack heads breaks into your house, what's the first thing you send after him to get him out of your house? Right, the Pit, and at that time you'd wish he was Godzilla on their butts.

So don't tell me it’s for the snuggling times, its for the jugular times instead (also perhaps for some men, compensation terms).

An interesting series called Final Salute.  Each page is a full story, but read as many as you can, it's worthwhile.
Final Salute

[No, it’s Joey] Well it depends. If this is the Joe from Begonia on Eden Pines then, no, he hasn't done any good, only caused trouble for all his neighbors.  If it’s a different Joey then wrong guy.

And illegal poker games in your home?  Yeah, this must be the Joe from Begonia in Eden Pines. He has illegal poker games in his house and runs his generator constantly and calls the police on his neighbors for anything and everything.

I hope the Moondogs play the 4th of July at Picnic Island.  They are my favorite band.  I know all the girls are crazy about Tucker, but I like Bob, he deserves some attention too.  I hope you guys can make it.  It'll be a great party!

[Gas boycott] We'll just raise prices on the 14th.

What’s wrong with having poker games in your house? Some of you people must be retired with nothing better to do than try to out-petty each other!

My Chihuahua is still as bad as your Pitt Bull.
He had a 5 ft. lizard in his jaws yesterday.

The Blue hole has alligators, the swimming hole has whale poop.

[Developers] There once was a small village in a small jungle in South America. The Indians lived there for thousands of years very happily. Then one day a stranger came into the village. He brought with him shinny coins and glittering trinkets the natives never saw before.  He told them how nice it would be if they allowed him to buy their lands and build them and a few new-comers homes. The Indian chief was leery of this man, and so were the rest of the tribe members. Several years passed and the tribe was now almost completely absorbed into the new society. They had lost almost all their grace, history and local flavor. One day the man came back to visit the chief and the villagers who had survived the changes--they ate him!
Moral: He who sees glory in gold will starve for the old ways.  Save the Keys, eat a developer today!

[Gun control] From Ed Chenel, a police officer in Australia. Hi Yanks, I thought you all would like to see the real figures from Down Under. It has now been 12 months since gun owners in Australia were forced by a new law to surrender 640,381 personal firearms to be destroyed by our own government. A program costing  Australia taxpayers more than $500 million dollars. The first year results are now in:  Australia-wide, homicides are up 6.2 percent.  Australia-wide, assaults are up 9.6 percent.  Australia-wide, armed robberies are up 44 percent (yes, 44 percent). In the state of Victoria alone, homicides with firearms are now up 300 percent! Note that while the law-abiding citizens turned them in,  the criminals did not and criminals still possess their guns.

It’s funny that this week’s topic of discussion includes pit bulls.  On Friday a dear friends' 12 year old daughter was viciously attacked in South Carolina and is currently in surgery to try to save her hand.  The dog was not leashed and the owner swears that the “dog is gentle”.  The story is so much more tragic than that because the girl was scheduled for reconstructive surgery at the Shriner Children's Hospital for a foot injury received when she was an infant, and has lost her spot for the surgery and will probably have to wait another year for the procedure.  The attack was probably because the girl walked with a limp, triggering the pit bull's instinctive urge to attack a weaker being.

Slow down on US1
I was driving across the 7 mile bridge this morning with a load of traffic in front of me. We were moving along at a nice pace of about 55. Some jerk blew past me almost sideswiping me to avoid getting hit head on by a car coming south, he did it at least 4 more times before he was able to achieve the speed he desired as he was in the clear now. As he blew off the bridge a state trooper was awaiting his arrival. I had to smile.

[35 The Hungarian] We went ashore to get some sun and soft drinks, Mr. Vanicsek didn't remember the kid who's ass he wanted to kick earlier. I walked down the beach beyond where everybody was swimming to where there was a thick reed growth from the waters edge to at least ten feet in. There was a gap cut into the reeds and a Ladik was floating there chained to a steel bar that was driven into the ground. The Ladik is a heavy plank-built boat native to the Danube. It is tarred on the outside to prevent soaking up too much water and to prevent rot. I noticed that the chain could be easily undone, and that there were a whole bunch of paddles in the boat. I didn't want to steal the thing, just use it for awhile.

I went back to the others and told them about my find and asked them if they wanted to make a few runs on the Danube. Everybody was interested, Joe being the oldest and the biggest was elected to be the captain. There were plenty of paddles to go around; even little brother grabbed one although I convinced him to give it up. With eight boys rowing, it was surprising how swift this tub could move. Joe steered a course for the far side of the river where, from the high bank, a spring bubbled forth. The water was very cold and it tasted of iron. After everyone quenched their thirst we headed back on the river...
The Hungarian

Coral scientist, Rupert Ormond, of Glasgow University asserts that the future is hopeless for coral reefs. He states that coral reefs, the victims of global climate change, will be dead within 50 years, and nothing can be done to save them. Even if humans were to halt the production of greenhouse gases immediately, Ormond states that coral reefs still would perish because a 50-year time lag exists between limiting carbon dioxide levels and any effect it might have on controlling ocean temperatures.

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