Monday April 30, 2007

Summer has returned to Sundays at Picnic Island!

The county voted to fill in Mariner's boat basin to prevent residents from accessing the water from county-owned land.
The county voted to buy the Hickory House to provide residents access to the water from county-owned land. 
That makes perfect sense to me, I think?

I guess my point was that there really are folks out there that are affected by fireworks, but do not need to be hospitalized.  With regard to my dad getting help, he went to the VA hospital every month until he died 11 years ago.  But thanks for your concern. Enjoy your fireworks. I hope it doesn't rain on your parade.

[11 month old pit bull] Pit bulls have been bred over a long time to want to fight other dogs.  It is in their genes. They can no more avoid this then they can avoid having fur.  Due to their fighting capabilities and the rules of dog fighting they have also been selectively bred to be docile and submissive with people. Like with anything else there will always be exceptions. Owners beware.

Please continue to support our Troops no matter what your political views are.
http://www.youtube.com/v/ervaMPt4Ha0&autoplay=1

America’s patients is running out with the Iraqi Congress’s failure to get together and govern that troubled country, so what are they going to do? They’re going on vacation for two months while our sons keep on dying.

Bring our troops home today, now! The war is lost and it's not out troops fault--it's Islam's fault.

[My boyfriend and I own an 11 month old pit bull] You haven't really been reading the previous postings. These dogs are fine until they reach a certain age and then the killer instinct kicks in. Your dog is chewing on coconuts now to strengthen its massive jaws for later use. I hope you have no other animals or small children in your home.   

I feel so helpless as our three bad guy County commissioners give away the keys and the planning commission changes laws just to suit developer’s wishes (I suspect to gain favor when they leave office). We need people who care about the people and the Keys not their future positions with these developers. I stop short before accusing those three of receiving graft, but they can’t hate the keys that much without reason. They don’t love the keys like I do. They only see the keys as a way to enrich themselves. What other reason could it be?

More Americans have died in Iraq than at the World Trade Center and yet we’re no safer and have done nothing to stop terrorism against the West. 3,346 and climbing.

[Mariners Park] The angry retorts about the park are pathetic.  Obviously you all forgot you were children once.  As far as the park being built on the channel, the incline there is gradual, children are much safer there then in the canal area. What should upset you more is that they want to fill in the swimming hole on Big Pine (there was a picture of it in yesterdays post) that area should be made accessible to boats.  The park will be accessible to small boats and kayaks. 

Allah votes republican.

[BP swimming hole]  Well aren't there alligators in there?

When the war was started there was a Republican President, Republican majority senate, republican majority Congress, Rumsfeld was given a job he wasn’t able to do by the republican president. The defense secretary appointed by the republican President, Colon Powell, ran away as soon as he was forced to lie. Remember the ridiculous aluminum tubes and chemical trailers that turned out to be false? I can’s see why you blame the Liberals. Here’s your blinders.

[Is this Joe from Eden Pines?]  No, it’s Joey, if you really know him.  And if you do, he has probably helped you or done something nice for you in the past. Am I right?

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

The reason that the basin at the Mariner was filled in was because it was a dead water catch.  It was not cleaned out by the tide so it was dead as in nothing living in it but bacteria.  Personally I am happy that they got rid of the putrid mess that was there.  If any of you had visited it you would have seen the bad shape that it was in. Could it have been saved? Probably, however it would have cost real money to have the basin cleaned out, the seawalls rebuilt and aerators installed.

[Gas Out on May 15^th] helps bring price down and cost companies over three billion dollars for just 1 day.

Has anyone read the sale proposal for anyone to buy the Hickory house? If it wasn’t our money it would be funny. According to the requirements for the sale only the two adjacent developers can buy it. What is the un-holy trinity on the commissioners thinking?

As reported Monday, singer Sheryl Crow, the latest left-wing environmental wacko, nut case to jump on the “Save the World” bandwagon and suggested that saving toilet paper is a viable solution to the planets woes.  Her toilet paper manifesto would limit how many squares of toilet paper Americans use in a sitting. 

She was quoted as saying, “Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating.  Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required."

Her “mind,” it seems has been flushed down the drain of buffoonery.

So what I want to know is why you’re complaining about illegal fireworks when you host illegal poker games in your home? You’re obviously just an old man with nothing better to do with your retired life.

[Do any of you know Underwood’s secret ingredient]  Based on the taste I would say it’s cat.

[Been away] We went to the Cracked Egg for breakfast this morning but the building was dark. What's up?

[Mariner’s park] I can't say that a kid drowning would be a low common denominator but it is a pretty lame excuse when we as a whole are pretty much surrounded by water. I also think it would have served better for a water based park seeing the marina was already there. As far as the silt bottom it could have been removed which Army Corps allows as long as you don't dredge new rock. There are few places and becoming less every day for the working man to be able to launch a boat and enjoy the water with his family.

I wasn't bragging, just stating a fact. The money and the pain in the ass process I was referring to was to the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms for my license.

How can anyone say our military does its job unfettered? Our leaders in D.C. have put so many restraints on them its disgusting. True, peace will never be in the middle east but if the kid gloves were off at least they could wipe out enough of these insurgents so the Iraqi forces could have a chance to control their country and our troops could go home.

Concerning the "Real Estate Holocaust" here on the Isle of Big Pine.  Yes, costs have receded by about 20% over the past year and a half, and yes the market is flooded with unsold houses. The average time it takes to sell a home is almost a year.  Not a good situation for sure, but as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. The market value of homes is finally starting to reflect actual net worth  Traditionally, property was valued based on rental income times seven years. Granted, that's a little dated but still rational.  Try telling that to those over on Key Colony Beach asking 7 to 8 hundred thousand for  half a duplex with about 40 ft. of dock space.

Our neighbors had their home listed about a year ago for one million one hundred fifty thousand dollars. Probably it had less than 1000 ft. under air conditioning.  To its credit it had a great open water view. 

Our home has been on the market for almost a year. About a week ago someone offered us almost one hundred thousand less than we’re asking, which had already been reduced by fifty thousand dollars.  My buddy, Art Smith, owner of the Olympia Gym says that if things get bad enough I can sleep in the loft of his gymnasium. Oh well, all good things come to an end.

Slow down on US1.

9/11 conspiracies are all potty-mouth.

A great way to end a Saturday at the beach: Dinner at Rob's Island Grill. Thanks, Rob for the great food, service and atmosphere. Cannot wait until you start breakfast again!

To further elaborate on the July 4th show with The Moondogs, I would like to let everyone know the circumstances. One Dog may be on vacation, another may possible move away. I myself may be in Alaska at the 4th. Bottom line is we want to do the show, but are not sure at this time if we will all be here. If this Dog is in town there will be a show, but I’m not sure who the pack will be. Thanks for your support.

[34 The Hungarian] Mrs. Meggyessy came back and the chatter ceased. She didn't even glance at me. She wrote on a sheet of paper and called on one of the girls and told her, "Walk Charley home and give this note to Mrs. Horváth." The girl left and the class returned to geography. The class was still in eastern Russia when Mrs. Horváth burst thru the door and scanned the room for her daughter. When she zeroed in on her she went to her, grabbed her by the hair and jerked her out of the desk. Poor Ági, her crying and screaming melted together as she was trying to fend off blows her mama was delivering about her head and shoulders. Before she left the room Mrs. Horváth looked straight at me, "You little sonofabitch, I better not see you around my house again.” And she was gone, dragging Ági behind her...The Hungarian

[Time table for leaving Iraq] Opponents to setting a time to leave say that the insurgents will just wait until we leave and then continue their destruction. They don’t appear to know that theory because their attacks are getting more furious daily.

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Monday April 30, 2007

Sunday April 29, 2007

[Retraction] Whoever wrote in and said the Moondogs will play July 4th is not a Moondog. We will be having a band meeting to make the final determination. We will let everyone know in plenty of time. As far as the Bikini Contest; it sounds like a damn good idea!

The memorial service for Chuck Vowels yesterday was very moving. There must have been over three hundred people there. The minister was a real good singer, sort of like the poor-man’s Kenny Rogers. I wish that many people would show up at my funeral.

If any of you missed Bill Moyers "Buying the War" here’s the video:  
http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/video_popups/pop_vid_btw1-1.html

hate to break it to the war supporters, but guess what? There’s already hundreds dying daily and it’s not for trying to build a Democracy or because they have a dictator. It’s because of a religious and ethnic war that’s been going on for thousands of years. Yet you believe Bush can end a thousand year religious war using our sons and daughters? How nice.

[33 The Hungarian] This wasn't the first time; now and then this chore fell on me. The two quart can had a tight fitting lid, even if I dropped the can the milk didn't spill. The place where I had to go was a ten minute walk from my house. My classmate Ági lived there; her parents had eight milk cows and sold milk and milk products. When I got there her mom was still milking, they didn't have machines so Mr. and Mrs. Horváth milked the eight cows by hand. While I was waiting I sat in Ági's swing, it was a real good one that hung from the lower branch of a large walnut tree next to the house. The seat was a stout plank suspended by hefty chains. When I got going on this sucker I could almost swing in a hundred and sixty degree arc.

I was swinging away when Ági came out; she has been my classmate since the first grade. She had always been nice to me, but I didn't care for her. She had two front teeth that were too big for her mouth that looked like a couple white shovels and she had freckles too. She looked as if flies crapped all over her face. Ági yelled at me, "Hey Baka, I want to swing too. I stopped powering myself and started to slow down and when the swing came to a stop I turned it over to her. That's not what she had in mind, "I want to swing with you, I can't go as high as you can, I want to sit in your lap." It was her swing, she does whatever she likes. I sat in the swing and she sat in my lap. On the backward swing when the swing got to it's highest point I leaned way back and pulled on the chains to give it more momentum. I kept repeating that until we could go no higher. Each time the swing came to the bottom of its arc the pressure was strongest on my lap from Ági's butt. The strangest thing started to happen...The Hungarian

[The reason the boat basin was filled in was due to the potential loss of life of a child.]  Here we go again with the "child" crap.  A kid can fall into a million holes in the Keys, so fill them all in and build your stinking condos and hotels and get it over with!

[machine guns. I had to pay money and go through a pain in the ass process to get mine.] I doubt you own a fully automatic machine gun, unless you are a federally licensed gun collector or it is a Dewitt (none working) weapon. Those who do own fully auto weapons do not brag about it!

"Reach" featuring Jamie Olwell is going to be playing at Key Deer Bar and Grill today, Sunday from 4 until 8. Come out and dance and have a great time! Thank to all of our loyal followers.

I’m glad the Moondogs are going to play at Picnic Island. I’m ready. I’ll be bringing fireworks so if the shell shocked veteran is thinking of going, please beware.

Obama: Wouldn't that be the crap hole? President Obama, from what foreign country?

Ok so I was reading posts from the past couple of days and I'm tired of hearing how Pitbulls are bad dogs. My boyfriend and I own an 11 month old pitbull we adopted from the Marathon Animal Shelter. I wouldn’t ask for a different dog. She's hyper-active and she loves to play and go for walks. She doesn't people; her favorite thing to chew on are coconuts. Where is the harm in that?

You people who have problems with them really need to experience them before you go on their reputations! Ever heard the saying "Don't judge a book by its cover?" This is where that steps in. The owner is the one who decides if the dog is going to be aggressive or not. Every dog can be aggressive, so why treat one dog with negative attitudes and comments? I love my dog with all my heart. She's like having a little kid around and I enjoy every second of it and so does my boyfriend. You people need to get over yourselves.

Oh, that's just great! A Burmese Python was found in the upper Keys, so it's just a matter of time before all of the islands are infested. Do they eat iguanas? What will they do to the real estate market?

[Iraq and War on terror] I have suspected for a long time that Pres. Musharraf is scamming the USA. Today on CNN it was confirmed. The Pakistani military struck a deal with the Taliban “You don't mess with us and we won't mess with you.” Pres. Musharraf will not let US troops into the border areas of Pakistan adjacent to Afghanistan.  The Taliban can hide there. It is an excepted theory that the only way to defeat the terrorists is for the antiterrorist forces of all governments to work together for a common cause. We can't have a fence-sitting sonofabitch like Musharraf. Can't have countries that can be intimidated like the Spaniards (one bombing and they pulled out, no wonder their flag is mostly Yellow)  Unfortunately, unless the US takes off the kid gloves and puts on a steel gauntlet, the troops are just wasting time and bleeding for nothing. More than two thousand years ago Alexander ground these people into the dirt with sword and spear, we have come a long way since. Receive fire from a house, level the house, kill everyone inside and no explanations necessary. That is the way to pacify insurgents. To hell with investigations.

[Rogers Furniture]  Goodby and good luck up north.  Perhaps you already know this about your demographics, but after browsing your store a few times to get "ideas" for my furnishing needs, I always ordered on line or went north to Homestead to fill my needs do to your excessive pricing.  Ya, I know that some people will cry for supporting the local merchant and call for purchasing from them regardless of price.  Well guess what?  It's a free country and the internet has put at risk those who think their business can withstand gouging do to location.  I guess the reason some people still have money down here is because they are not stupid with it and do a little research before making a large purchase.

It’s very sad to see Moose and his band taking over the old Sunday Jam spot at the Dockside. Our condo group always had two or three tables shoved together at the Sunday Jams but now we decided to boycott the damn place until the new management comes to their senses and brings back Rocketman and the Florida Straights Band. There are other places to go on a Sunday night. It’s the only way we can register our feelings about how that band was badly treated after 20 some years and five or six owners at the Dockside. The new management's screw-the-customers attitude may work with tourists passing through, but it ain’t going to work on us locals that’s for sure.

[Shell Shocked] I have compassion and respect for your father. I just suggested that he should seek some help. Since he must be an elderly person, he should have been helped years ago. The help is available; you just have to take advantage of it. You said that he goes to the mountains on the 4th of July. Where the hell does he go from thunder and lightning? I do not want to rain on your parade, but please don't get ridiculous. The next thing you’ll be telling us that your great, great, paternal grandmother threaded the needle for Betsy Ross.

Congratulations on taking a risk at being called a “conspiracy nut”. It’s hard to believe the government’s “official story” on 911. 

What we do with this information is of the utmost importance. Are we going to sweep it all under the rug and ignore it like our parents did with the Kennedy assassination? Or are we going to take a leap into the realm of truth? The media are in concert pretending to believe the government’s official story on 9/11. This is not a partisan issue. Now is the time for us to chart our own course. Will we believe the overwhelming evidence that is increasingly coming out regarding the worst event in American history or will we bury our heads in the sand? Our country still hasn’t healed from the lies and deceits of the Kennedy assassination and the ensuing Warren Commission. The government now wants you to believe another ludicrous lie with 9/11. Since they have lied about everything else, why would you believe them about 9/11? The 9/11 commission was a sham.  Ask Max Cleland who was on it.

In order for our country to really change direction, we need to investigate the lies and manipulations of recent times but also of the last 40 years. 9/11 can be a chance to heal our country and take it in a new direction. If we awaken the people to the facts, we can change everything. Think about it. It is possible. We now have the smoking gun. What are we going to do about it?

http://patriotsquestion911.com/media.html

To the person that wrote the silly fairy tale about America’s future. Aesop has nothing on you. It’s not the Liberals screwing up America’s military. It’s the Republican’s war for lies and the blame sits in their hands. Americans are not going to let Republican fear screw us again. When the war started it was a republican congress, republican senate and republican President. Yeah, I can see where it’s all the Liberals’ fault. “The republican party where no accountability is King.”

My, my my, now that all the big waterfront parcels are bought and all the officials firmly in there pockets, the big keys developer (Cay Clubs) suddenly cannot get financing for Marathon’s affordable housing. I bet if that turtle hospital was for sale they would find the money quickly.

[The Hungarian] My grandfather, on my mother's side, was from Hungary so the following statements are not from any social prejudice. My scrolling finger is getting tired from having to bypass all the uninteresting, non-topical excessive verbiage from both the Hungarian and his followers. I believe, when the questions, on whether readers wanted to hear more from and about him, were being answered most that felt like me were already scrolling past all the posts and didn't bother to send there thoughts. Only the few readers who were, for unknown reasons, enamored with his spiel responded, so it looked favorable.

Please get him his own page or site so the rest of us can give our fingers a rest.

My mother was a riveter too!  I guess I'm giving away my age.  Do you have any photos of Rose W at work you could send to me?  Superfreshglade@aol.com

[Mariner’s boat basin was filled in was due to the potential loss of life of a child] that’s the lamest reason I’ve ever heard. I think it was filled due to lack of imagination and cajones! This is another example of government not doing what the citizens want.

It was a great service for Chuck Vowels yesterday. We all love you.

Feral Burmese python kills 2 endangered Key Largo wood rats:  Interesting article about an exotic animal in the supposedly pristine hammock, in the April 27 edition of the Keynoter. This makes me sick.    http://www.keynoter.com/articles/2007/04/27/news/news01.txt 

Another interesting article was written on the same day about the red rat snake vs. great white heron on BPK. (same Keynoter link.)

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Sunday April 29, 2007

Saturday April 28, 2007

Yes, the Moondogs are going to be at Picnic Island on the 4th of July and they are having a home made bikini contest on their stage.

Big Improvement at WD deli. They have 3 new slicers. Now your cheese and meat can be cut to your perfection.

[Hibiscus and Ixora] It's probably on County right-of-way so it's their responsibility to cut it back. Contact public works and they will know how to take care of the problem.

[Gun control] Iraqis are allowed one firearm per household for protection although there are people out there that think a fully automatic AK-47 might be a tad excessive.

The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president.  In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just aren’t happy and want a change.

Farewell and good luck to Bruce and Judy DeVay and Damon who have closed Rogers Furniture and are moving to north Alabama next week.  We will miss you three a lot here on BPK. Remember that life is all about the journey!

If you are scared of Al Gore’s stance on global warming you have bigger issues then the earth’s cyclical systems at hand.

[Iraqi citizens are not allowed to have guns] Who says so? I saw an Iraqi father taking his kids to school on TV carrying an automatic pistol. Isn’t that a gun?

[Opinion about Iraq]  When I saw the report about Abu Ghraib prison and how long the media rode on it. I became convinced that this war will be a f**ked up deal. You can't fight a war and be nice. That incident in the prison was nothing compared to the reporter getting his head cut off. Why didn't the media show that again and again? I hear it almost every day "The Americans are getting their ass kicked." and this is because they are not ruthless enough. I read that Bin Laden was targeted; they had him dead to rights. The strike was called off because there was a swing set in the area and that meant kids. Now those kids will grow up to be terrorists. The ragheads will blow up a market if a kindergarten is there on a field trip. The troop commanders are hobbled. There is a little book called 'The rules of engagement'  While US forces carry this card, and bend over backwards to abide by it, they will never win a war. This book should be thrown away. The enemy doesn't adhere to any rules. Why should the threat of prison hang over the head of a US soldier when he has his life on the line? Al Jazeera TV, they are the enemy! US troops should use their reporters and cameramen for target practice. I was wondering when I saw the Iraqi's protesting in front of Abu Ghraib prison. Where were these ragheads when Saddam’s henchmen were hanging their brethren from meat hooks in that same prison? I tell you where, they were at home sitting on their asses. Saddam’s ruthlessness kept those people in line for 35 years then the nice and just US arrives, they run amok. If this war was good for anyone it was a windfall for Dick Chaney.

I think he should be impeached and be put in prison. Every dollar he made has an American soldier’s blood on it. The sad thing is that no matter how America extricates it'sself from this war, she has lost so much prestige, blood, and treasure, that she can't recoup. I hope it serves as a lesson for the future. Don't start anything you are not prepared to finish. As soon as the US leaves Iran will step up arms shipments and aid to the insurgents. The members of the current government will escape back to Paris or seek asylum in the USA.  Open a carpet shop or run a Seven Eleven. Iraq will become an Islamic state and there will be genocide against the Kurds. 

My name is Wayne Miller. I am a member of the Southernmost Chapter of ABATE. I am also the newly appointed First Officer of the Southern Cruisers Riding Club. We are a no dues, no formal meetings, no colors, no territory, club.  The stated purpose of our organization is to get good people together for riding.  We have over 31,000 members across the US and Canada. There are over 400 chapters.  

I would like to invite you to check out the Southern Cruisers and see if you might be interested in our group. I am the only one right now in the Keys but I cannot help but think that with the wonderful people I have already met from this organization, and the “no rules let’s ride” concept, that it will eventually be a success.  Let me know what you think please.

"What is it about drinking that makes the Adam’s apple on transvestites disappear?" Over heard in a KW bar.

At last, the secret inner sanctum of The Coconut Telegraph.

I tried to order from 2 for 20 tonight by your web site's menu and specials and they would not honor the advertisement on your site saying oh that's old. I asked if they were planning to change it the girl said yeah someday. I did not order from them.  I am a local, it gets old.  I could call Wayne but I have given them many chances. Since they are advertising on your web site and not honoring what they advertise I thought you would like to know. No Big Deal. Pizza Works will do this time.

If you did not find anything on George Soros referring to his total disregard for the right to bear arms you did not look very hard.  Just look and see where Rebecca Peters gets her pay check.  She was hired by Soros after her successful fight to rid the Australians of their right to bear arms.  He is in cahoots with the vermin running the UN in their constant battle against the American way and all of our rights; not just the right to defend ourselves.

Have you ever heard that a dog "knows" when an earthquake is about to hit? Have you ever heard that a dog can "sense" when a tornado is stirring up, even twenty miles away?  Do you remember hearing that, before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia , dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?  I'm a firm believer that animals - and especially dogs - have keen insights into the Truth.  And you can't tell me that dogs can't sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.  Simply said, a good ol' hound dog just KNOWS when something isn't right . . . when impending doom is upon us . . .

My dreams last night were very strong (understatement) that I need to make a monetary contribution to the presidential campaign of Obama Barack. Just below is some biographical information about Obama, which I pulled off the Internet this morning. This indeed appears to be a different kind of candidate and political campaign, and because my dream maker pushed me so hard, I'm personally inclined to view Obama as God's choice.

Obama, Barack, a Senator from Illinois; born in Honolulu, Hawaii, August 4, 1961; obtained early education in Jakarta, Indonesia, and Hawaii; continued education at Occidental College, Los Angeles, Calif., and Columbia University, New York City; studied law at Harvard University, where he became the first African American president of the Harvard Law Review, and received J.D. in 1992; lecturer on constitutional law, University of Chicago; member, Illinois State senate 1997-2004; elected as a Democrat to the U.S. Senate in 2004 for term beginning January 3, 2005.

I have nothing against Hungarians especially you Kamraden, but what I've read about George Soros is that he is a big money man for some of the anti-gun groups here.

[A not-too-rosy scenario] While the Middle East will never be stable, one scenario that I see could happen is this: The insurgents who went home to wait-out the troop withdrawal that the  new democrat president ordered all come back to Iraq.  With them they bring all of Saddam's weapons of mass destruction that were hidden during the many years of warnings that the U.N. gave him. They celebrate victory over "The Great Satan." This makes them bolder and more determined to spread their brand of radical Islam to the region and world. First any people who were in the current Iraqi gov't, the wrong religion or whatever would be executed, tortured or both. Then free to travel, the suicide martyrs make their plans for the journey to Paradise.  After several tragedies (for us) the radicals will start making demands on the world.  Some of the spineless governments pay tribute to them, but nothing will appease them until there are no infidels left on the earth. They infiltrate all the other governments in the Mid East except Israel. Finally after a few rocket attacks the Israelis have had enough and let fly with some nukes. Iran lets a few more fly in retaliation and with the new North Korean or Chinese ICBMs they bought, sling a few at Europe and the U.S.A. for good measure.

The result of all that will be the end of life as we know it. That's why I'd prefer the fighting be over there. And if the whining liberals would shut up and let the military do its job and kill the bastards--that scenario might not happen.

OK folks from the lower Keys, get out your passports and come on up to Marathon and join The Moondogs at the Dockside Bar and Grill for a rockin’ good time tonight, Saturday evening from 6 on. Dogs don't forget to bring your owners along. See you there!

Does anyone know what's going on at Big Pine florist?

The Iraqi people are allowed 1 AK 47 full auto assault rifle or similar arm per adult.  On the show I saw on TV. they said this was for protection from "Ali Babba" (their euphemism for thieves and robbers. They are trusted with machine guns! I had to pay money and go through a pain in the ass process to get mine.

[Fireworks and the Veteran] One additional fact about my family: In deference to all that served, and I'm sorry that one very important fact was not included, my grandmother, Rose W., was one of the original Rosie the Riveter that was immortalized by the WWII posters and is buried in Arlington National Cemetery by special Congressional Proclamation for her service during wartime.  All that served in or out of uniform need to be recognized.

[gun rights in Iraq] http://armsandthelaw.com/archives/2005/03/right_to_bear_a.php

[32 The Hungarian] I was dreaming that I was lying in the snow on a vast plain, wearing just a tee shirt and shorts and shivering. I woke up. The Big Dipper was low on the horizon, it won't be long before sunrise. I was shivering and had to pee. I walked to one of the willows and peed on the trunk. My pee was steaming on the bark and the surface of the canal was covered with a thin veil of fog, it looked real eerie. My friend in his blanket didn't even stir. I wondered what kind of magic blanket he had. I rearranged the logs on the fire and put some more light branches around them. After some huffing and puffing I brought it back to life. With the fire burning I started to feel better and I bundled into my blanket and went back to sleep. The chirping of birds finally awoke me, Búcsi was sitting up tending the fire, "Morning Jóska! How did you sleep?" "Hey I don't know about you, but I was cold all night, I dreamt that I was sleeping in snow." "Yea me too, the next time we do this we will have to get some much better sleeping kits." "I'm with you, Imre. This rain coat and one blanket sucks." I could not agree more. "Hey Búcsi, let's have some eats and get on the way." That's what we did. After the fire was put out and everything packed we were waterborne again.

Our progress was leisurely and quiet, there was no sign of the sheep or Stinky. Now retracing our rout we were heading west, the sun felt good on our backs. We surprised a Red fox drinking and the vixen wasn't frightened by our passing. The order of the morning was almost the mirror image of Saturday, frogs, ducks, and a snake or two. Now and then a pheasant would break from cover with great noise. The place where the drunken sirens bombarded us was abandoned. I hoped that every one of them had painful hangovers this morning. We maintained an easy pace and stopped at the same place we did the day before. Búcsi had some questions, "Imre, do you think that the guys will laugh at us for doing this?" "Yea, they probably will, to hide their envy, and that they didn't think of it first. I could give a shit less what they think. I didn't do this for them I did it for us. It is something I can tell somebody else about when all this will be gone. The most important thing is that we had a good time." "I'm with you on that buddy! We better get going." Búcsi pulled ahead and maintained a good lead, I will have to get me a butcher’s tub or ask Gramps to help me build a real kayak. Many years later I remembered my friend and this voyage on Cabora Bassa Lake on an operation with the S.A.S. Our progress was much faster than I predicted. At this pace I would be home way before my sundown deadline.

The orchard was in sight, one more bridge and then the Vég's. Mr. Vég spotted us when we came under the bridge and was waiting for us by the shore. As we landed he pulled our tubs on shore. He had the curiosity of a cat, "How was the trip boys? I see the tubs held up. Did you see any otters?" Búcsi was the first to answer, "Mr. Vég, you know damn well there ain't no otters around here. As far as the tubs, we never had any doubts about them." "Yea, Mr. Vég, if it wasn't for the drunken women who threw dirt clods at us and the uninvited sheep and the herder who ate our food, other than that we had a very good trip."

"Drunken women you say, were throwing stuff at you?" "That's right Mr. Vég and a herdsmen who was uninvited." "Well damn, boys you did have an interesting trip. Tell me, did them drunk women, did they show you anything?" "Naw, Mr. Vég, they weren't showing themselves they were throwing dirt clods at us. One of them hit me in the back."

"You don't say. You that Búcsi kid ain't ya?" "Yeah, I'm Jóska." Mr. Vég was his friendly old self. I had to ask him for a favor, "Mr. Vég could Jóska and I leave the tubs here until Monday afternoon?" "Sure you can, even longer if you want to. Nobody will bother them here!" "Thank you sir, we sure appreciate it. We will be here for them tomorrow." We spread our blankets out, bundled all our stuff and headed for home. Mom and dad were glad to see me and wanted to know how the trip went. Steve was hanging on my every word. He then told mom, "Don't let him go next time unless he takes me too. The next day in school what we predicted happened; there were those who belittled what we did and those who wanted to go along the next time. We hurried home and just as I got there Gramps was un-harnessing Olga. "Gramps, I will need Olga's help for about an hour and after that I will take her down to the Horse Swimmer to rinse out the winter dust." "All right son, but first give her some hay and some water she worked hard all morning." After Olga ate and drank I drove over to pick up Búcsi and then we headed for the Vég's. "Hey, Mr. Vég!" He came out in his shirt sleeves, "What can I do for you boys today?" "Not a thing Mr. Vég, we just came to pick up the tubs. Thank you for letting us keep them here. "Glad to do it boys, any time." I turned Olga so that the wagon stopped close to the tubs. It was easy loading them. First we drove to Bucsi's yard to put the tub back above the henhouse.

Real progress was being made on Búcsi's house, doors and windows were being installed and the roof was almost complete; a tile roof this time, and for the first time electric lights. After the tub was put away, we drove down to the Horse Swimmer to give Olga a treat. We un-harnessed her and led her to the water, she needed no urging. She had a long drink and rolled in the water than went in deep. I believe she even swam some. We wanted her to come out, but all our calling and pleading would not budge her. She just sat down in the water so deep that only half of her neck and head could be seen. I wasn't about to get naked and wade in after her, neither was Búcsi, but he said, "I'll be right back and bring something to entice her out." He ran up the road and disappeared. About five or ten minutes later he came back with an armful of lush green grass. "Where did you get that beautiful grass, Jóska?" "This is not grass buddy, its spring rye. It only came up a week ago and it's nice and tender. Here Olga, come and have some of this nice rye, yum, yum, yum.  It's GOOOD! Most of the rye he dropped by the wagon. He walked knee deep into the water with rye in each hand. Olga got up and walked to him like a puppy and devoured the rye by the mouthful. She walked over to the wagon and tore into the rest of the rye while shaking her skin to remove the excess water from her fur. I felt her mane and her neck and found her reasonably dry and Búcsi helped me harness her into the wagon. I drove my friend to his uncle’s and headed home myself. Olga seemed so happy, I think she was glad to be rid of that winter dust. I will have to brush her before I put her in her stall. After I put Olga away and gave her some grain Nanah handed me the milk can and told me that I would have to go and get the some milk. The Hungarian

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Saturday April 28, 2007

Friday April 27, 2007

[Pool opened to the public] Can the homeless go there to wash off?

Injade is back from a short vacation and this Friday night we will play for the first time at the Key Deer Bar and Grille from 7-11 pm. They're having a BBQ, and we're playing outside!

Saturday night we're back at the Looe Key Tiki Bar 7-11 pm, so pick a night or come out for both. See you there!

[free place to dock my boat overnight] Ok this one just made me laugh in fact I’m still laughing. Something free in Key West? This guy's a comedian.

I too must admit that when I see and AOL email address I think that the person must be computer clueless.

Hey, guys. Here's a little tip for when you have been busted for messing around. Do not use this line, "I didn't think of it as cheating because she reminded me so much of you." It does not work. Now I need a new girl friend.

[Illegal fireworks] Is this Joe from Eden Pines?

The mystery secret ingredient to Underwood Deviled Ham is hog sphincter.  Yum!

Does anyone else here have to make the turn at Hibiscus and Ixora?  I have nearly been in several collisions because that is a blind turn and I creep through it!!  How would we go about getting one of those curvy mirrors like they have in fast food drive-thrus put in?

We agree wholeheartedly with Rob and Rachael's employee who wrote in yesterday.  Rob and his crew try to take good care of us all when we are there. Thanks for all you do for us Rob and Rachael!

[My favorite Tech Support call] Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer:  I don't have a P.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:   What do you mean?
Tech support:  P ...on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer:  I'm not going to do that!

If not allowing a country’s citizens to own guns makes them weak and allows a tyrant to take over how come the Iraqi citizens are not allowed to have guns? Do they have a tyrant in charge? I thought they were finally free? Don’t they deserve the same rights as a free country?

(I think they should show the flag draped coffins of our American fallen. I think it is another of Bush’s mistakes and very disrespectful to our heroes.) I think not. When these brave men and women are brought home they are greeted by family who do not want nor need the media snapping photos of their loss and grief. It is already hard enough. It is not some great cover-up as so many seem to think it is. The media keeps a daily count of the losses and if nothing else overshadows it, it is one of the top news stories of the day. The Army, Navy and Air Force Times, not military run papers, print photos of the troops killed in every issue as do many other papers and internet sites. That is more than enough to keep the nation informed.

The secret ingredient in deviled ham is Nauga. You see their hides everywhere but you never hear what happens to the animal. It's in the deviled ham. Eat up and enjoy.

Mile Marker 24 Band. We are going to perform Sunday at Dante’s in Key West. (Formally Monte’s next to the Half Shell Raw Bar) The show starts at 1:30 and is The Party Like A Rock Star Concert and some lucky winners will win a trip for four to see The Police, all expenses paid. So be there and sign up to win. And as always we will fire up the old Johnson outboard motor and make some tasty margaritas. So, we hope to see you there and if you can’t make it you will be in our thoughts.

[Immigration front line report] On Sunday 3 of our guys found a woman, her 12-year old daughter and 17-year old son who'd been abandoned by their guide/coyote because the little girl couldn't keep up with the larger group.  They'd been lost in the brush for 4 days.  They were in bad shape.  It's pretty certain that we saved their lives.  Today a Border Patrol airplane was circling above another woman who'd been abandoned. She was found by Border Patrol agents and was in bad shape.  (We don't know why, but that airplane crashed and the pilot was killed.  He was "marking" an illegal alien who needed help so that EMTs in an ambulance could get to where the ground guys had moved her.  And he died. 

Coyotes abandon anybody who slows them and their group down and will leave them to die.  Today a good man died trying to save an abandoned woman.  I'm pissed at them all.   

[Another Hungarian] Double Kudos to that post, but what is your problem with George Soros? The man gives away millions! He arrived to the land of opportunity in '56 and made the best of it. He made it up the hard way. I read about him on the net. He doesn't like George Bush. So what? A lot of people don't like Bush and a lot less will if he looses this war on terror. I have not found anything on Soros where he is against the right to bear arms. He is an ex-Hungarian and he knows that the first order of business of the communists was to disarm the population. The AVÓ came to our house to search for weapons with no warrants. If you resisted them they would shoot you and haul you off. Or haul you off and shoot you later. Almost 17 years after the collapse of communism the Hungarian people’s right to bear arms has not been restored. Politicians don't want the people to have guns, they feel too vulnerable. Do you not like this generous Hungarian because he is a Jew? There is a saying "Beware of Hungarians bearing gifts" or was that Greeks?

[Republican "scare Americans" tactic] And the Democrats never try to scare anybody? 
“The Republicans want to eliminate your Social Security.”
“The Republicans want to get rid of Medicare.”
“The Republicans want to listen in on your phone calls.”
The only difference is that the Republican use international fear tactics and the Democrats use domestic fear tactics.

If the fireworks are legal, they are fine to have fun with.  But illegal rocket shooting fireworks that go boom are dangerous and can destroy property. Yes, they are illegal in the State of Florida.

If you love it so much then go ahead and take your ass down to the nearest Army or Marine recruiters office as the writer suggested on yesterdays post.  I am sure they will send you somewhere that you can enjoy all the booming special explosive firework noise you could stand.

[31 The Hungarian] I don't know how far behind us the bridge was, but from up ahead voices and laughter was heard and getting closer we saw that a group of women were taking their afternoon break close to the canal. When we got closer we became objects of curiosity and were flooded with questions, "Hey, little boys, where are you going? Does your mother know you got her wash tub? Are you going to the black sea? We tried to answer, but the questions were coming too fast! A half eaten apple hit the water near Búcsi. My answer was fast, "We are just going down the canal a little ways to spend the night!" A careful look revealed that the women had demijons and I'm sure they were not filled with water. They decided to have some wine during their break and they had more than they intended because they were already tipsy. As the thoughts were flying thru my head, clods of dirt were flying toward us, the drunken bitches were bombarding us for sport. One clod hit me on the arm, Búcsi who was paddling like crazy got one right in the back. The water was full of splashes all around us and were hitting the tubs too. We could do nothing but paddle out of the range of their missiles and hoped that they wouldn’t follow us on shore and keep up the bombardment. Once out of range we could relax, the ladies didn't follow, they’d rather stay with their jugs. It was prudent to put as much distance as possible between these drunken sirens and us. A big flock of sheep came into view grazing on the left bank. The herder was seen a little later with his black Puli dogs.

The Puli sheepdog is a native of Hungary, they are very smart and faithful, these traits made them famous. I think the herder was asleep on his feet because his Kucsma (fur hat) was pushed down around his ears and he was leaning on his crook stick. His Suba around his shoulders reached the ground. The Suba is a garment made from the hides of long haired sheep that are sewn together to create a cape. In the rain, the hairy side is on the outside and in the cold windy weather the leathery side is out. We waved to him but he didn't wave back he was asleep just like I thought.  After a while I pulled up even with Búcsi and suggested, "Hey buddy, we should start looking for a place to camp for the night; my shoulders are getting tired." "Yeah, OK, a clump of willows are coming up just ahead that should be a good place."

Both sides of the canal had willows on it with lush grass all around. That was a good place where we could camp. With just a few more strokes we bumped the shore and stepped into the water. Our shoes were taken off earlier at our mid-day stop. We could tell that the water was too chilly for skinny dipping. We pulled our canoes on shore and went to look for a level spot further up. We found a fine place where we could bed down, but we needed to collect some wood for the fire. Firewood was kind of scarce around here so we had to search for it; you must have a campfire when you camp. Tom and Huck always had one! I collected armfuls of sticks and branches, but these burned too fast. Búcsi was dragging back a tree. He brought his hatchet, I didn't have one. The acacia was almost dead and Búcsi made quick work with the hatchet trimming the branches. We used those as kindling, the base of the fire. I was breaking up the larger dry branches while Búcsi went to find another tree. After some smoke and some vigorous blowing I got a blaze going. Búcsi came back with another tree and was not happy with my doings, “Hey, Imre, that fire is too big. I don't want to be cutting trees down all night." "You're right, Jóska, I just want to build up a bed of coals to cook on." "For a minute I thought you wanted to heat up the whole county." We would have enough wood now because the two logs would last all night. As the sun started to hide behind the trees Búcsi brought out his frying pan and his bacon, I undid my inner tube and brought out bread and sausages. It would’ve been great if we had eggs, but we had no way of packing them. (We were many years away from Ziploc bags) As the bacon and sausage started to sizzle we heard bells--sheep bells. Both of us stood and looked toward the sound.

Holy shit, that big flock of sheep we saw earlier was bearing down on us. In the next ten minutes we would be surrounded by god damned sheep. I could taste sheep shit in the back of my throat from the time when I fell from the loft. It was fortunate that we had a good fire going because the wooly sonsabitches would have walked and pellet-ed all over our blankets and us too. To top off everything when the herder arrived he was not the picture postcard handsome herdsmen. This snaggletooth sonofabitch was surrounded by the same odor as his sheep and said, "You boys don't mind if I sit by your fire do you?" Before we had a chance to answer he spread his Suba next to the fire and sat his ass down. One of his dogs damn near stuck his nose into the frying pan, "Hey, mind your dog will ya?" He shooed the dog away, but since he was bigger than both of us and had that wicked crook stick too, we didn’t dare to object. This stinking bastard with the manners of a fly said, "You boys don't mind if I have a piece of your bacon with my biscuit? He was getting his biscuit from his Tarisznya and before we had a chance to say that we minded, He took out his Bicska (folding knife) he speared a piece of our bacon and started munching away. Búcsi was cutting some more bacon when Stinky asked, "Where did you boys come from, anyway?" I answered real fast, "We paddled down from Dömsöd on this canal." "Oh, I know Dömsöd. All these critters belong to a man in Dömsöd, maybe you know him?" And he helped himself to a piece of sausage. "Yes we know him; we go to school with his son, Jóska, a good friend of ours. Maybe we'll tell him how you sleep on the job." That got his attention. "What the hell you talking about boy? You ain't seen me sleepin!" "Oh, yes, I did a couple of miles back. We waved to you, but you didn't wave back because you were sleeping. Anyway, why did you bring your flock this way?" "I saw your fire and just wanted to know who was camping on my pasture."

Búcsi cut in madder than a hornet, "This ain't your pasture you stinking son of a bitch. This is the land of the collective and we got just as much right to be here as you." "How you know all that you snooty kid?" "Because some of this land used to be my father’s, before he was made to join the collective. Who the hell invited you here anyway?" Gee, I thought Búcsi might overload his ass and both of us will have to make a run for it. Stinky's dogs would catch us and Stinky would beat the shit out of us. Stinky looked real curiously at Búcsi, "Who's smart-ass kid are you anyhow?" "My name is Búcsi József and my father is Búcsi István and if you keep behaving like you’ve been when I get home I will tell dad how you treated us. He will take a coach whip to you." Stinky's mannerism changed, like from night to day, and he paled some too. The man became apologetic, "Sorry, sorry.  I know uncle Búcsi, good friends we are, yessiree! So you are his son, are you? Can I pay you boys something for the bacon and sausage?" Búcsi knew he had Stinky on the ropes and wasn't going to let up. "Naaw, don't pay us nothing, just get yourself and all these stinking sheep out of here." Stinky couldn't get up fast enough. He whistled for his dogs and got the flock moving.  Since the opportunity presented it I just had to say it, "Hey Búcsi, I'm glad that he got the ‘flock out of here.’" We laughed and laughed at the day’s events, and ate what Stinky left us. All the stars were out and the Big Dipper was right overhead and it was getting cold. We built up the fire a little so our faces and chests were toasty warm and our backs had goose bumps (I didn't know about a reflector yet). We talked some more about Stinky and the drunken women. Rolled into our blankets and fell asleep. The Hungarian

The breakfast cook at Rob's was also fired for drinking on the job.  After being told he could not receive his shift beer or buy a beer from the bar while he was still working, he decided to bring his own beer to work the very next day, while exclaiming to everyone working that day that he was "getting drunk on the clock."  Common sense would tell you the liability at hand.  What kind of example would be set for the other employees had Rob not fired him?  This cook's lack of respect for other people got him fired, as it has in the past and probably will in the future. He was the only one fired.  When the right person is found for the job, Breakfast will be back at Rob's.

Fireworks are great for the 4th of July or New Years Eve, but professional pirotechnicians should do it. When drunken morons insist on shooting them off on every holiday and birthday--it gets a bit annoying. We are in drought and anyone shooting off illegal fireworks should be arrested and fined heavily do to the risk of wildfires destroying homes.

[Organ donor motorcyclist] I'll bet the moron who killed himself on South Roosevelt didn't have any useful organs to donate.

Several hundred of the 6,000 hogs that may have eaten contaminated pet food are believed to have entered the food supply for humans. The potential risk to human health was said to be very low.

[Kitehouse “dreamy”] Yeah, he’s dreamy all right, all 5 feet of him. (puleeease!)

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Friday April 27, 2007

Wednesday April 25, 2007

[Stupid boat tricks] Yesterday I backed my trailer and boat in the water just enough to launch, but didn’t think I needed to tether it to the trailer first because I usually have to back the boat off the trailer using the outboard. Well, not yesterday. The boat slowly launched and was drifting away down the canal all by its lonesome. Luckily the wind was blowing toward the dock and luckily there was no one to see Captain Run-a-ground screw up again.

A man or woman who wears a uniform while at work is certainly not responsible for dealing with your petty B.S. while off-duty.  Are you saying cops, firefighters, military, etc are not allowed to drink alcohol while off duty?  Are they not allowed to go on vacations out of town?  What would happen if an off-duty cop who has had a few beers tries to enforce minor ordinance violations on his own street?  How would you feel if a neighborhood resident who is a cop shows up on your doorstep, off-duty, and cites you for washing your car, or spraying weed killer too close to the water, or your car was parked on the right-of-way for more than 24 hours, etc, because your neighbor complained on you?  You probably wouldn't be too receptive to that.  Who would?  Not only would he lose his job, but you would probably sue him.  There's a little thing called 9-1-1, or non-emergency numbers for having on-duty personnel respond to your complaints.  Personnel who wear uniforms have to have a degree of common sense.  Writing parking tickets or fireworks tickets to his neighbors while off-duty would not be sensible.  However, helping a neighbor who has a Burglar in his house would be sensible.  Does any of this make sense to you?  Probably not. 

I think they should show the flag draped coffins of our American fallen. I think it is another of Bush’s mistakes and very disrespectful to our heroes.

This is for the post who wanted to know where I buy my computer stuff in Hungary. There is a little place in the village that could be called a computer store, by a large stretch of the imagination. It is a little wooden building not much larger than a large walk-in closet. I just go there to buy cartridges for my H/P printer, They always have them. If I want to buy games or components, right now I'm in the market for a scanner.  I will have to drive 30 miles to Budapest. My other choice it to drive 20 miles to Tasco or Auchan malls, both of them has large computer sections with the whole gambit of makes and brands. Auchan is French owned. I was very impressed with the layout and the selection of the store. They have a huge grocery section, it would rival Publix. The last time I was there I counted 71 kinds of breads and the cheese section would be 2 aisles at W/D. They even have live fresh seafood--shrimp, lobster, muscles. The prices for the seafood is sky high, Hungary is landlocked, 1kg (2.2 Lbs) of medium makrella (shrimp) $28.00. Hungarians don't know sea food, they would eat the fish, if it looked like a fish, but octopus, squid, clams, or conch--forget it! How in the hell did I get from computers to seafood?

After dating men my age and older I have decided to only conduct booty call with men who are 30 - 42 years of age because they are better. Why bother with guys who lack experience and skills and firmness? Some of us women only want one thing too and we don't want to be your sister. We have friends and hobbies and only need you for twenty minutes once a week. If I could find a few good men down here, I could rent them out and make a fortune! How much would you girls pay for boy-toy services?    

Being single is very over-rated. For example, last weekend I spent a great day out at the reef with the love of my life. We came back and she made a great steak dinner and we relaxed together with soft lights and she wore a smoking outfit which led to a great night of sex. Then we slept in, she got up and made a great breakfast while we sat around and read the Sunday paper together and laughed all morning long. Again she had a hot outfit on. It doesn’t get any better then that. It’s nice to call off the search and be with someone who after a few years knows how to drive you crazy and what buttons to push. Single guys are always on an Easter egg hunt. Enjoy the game. I won already. 

[Bogie Chanel Yacht Club] Tony and Wo are in Tenn. Wo comes down for several months each year. Tony has been back a few times. Earl is alive and well, mostly here on Big Pine Key. He’s still sailing the "Water Spider". Roy Boy is out west with his folks. The last I heard he has some sight problems, but is doing fine. Jackie has your money in central Florida and she has re-married. Chek Jon Passed away some time back. He has a fine son who is in his 2nd year of high school. I hope I have been of some help.

We need team members for the 2007 Miami Hong Kong Dragon Boat Festival May 5th in Miami.  All paddlers need to come for 3 paddle practices Wednesday and Sundays at the Key West Sailing Club on the west side of Garrison Bight next to the boat yard at 6 pm.

If you want to paddle, have a blast , work out, compete, go to Miami for the day , represent the Florida Keys in one of the new and upcoming Olympic sports . Get in touch with us.  We need you to participate, paddle and assist in the overall event. Call 305 304 5100 for any questions Capt John Duke

A black congresswoman reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture, such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in  language that street people can understand because one of the problems in New Orleans is that regular folks couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation due to the racially biased language of the weather report.
 
I can hear it now. A weatherman says: "Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass likeLeroy on a crotch rocket! Biatch be a category fo'! So grab yo' chirren, yo'Ho, be leavin yo crib, and head fo' da nearest guv'ment office fo yo free shit!"

It looks like the NYSE will break the unheard of 13000 mark. This is the only war in history that has absolutely no effect on the country. Well, except for our dead sons and our worldwide loss of prestige.

Are the Moondogs going to play at Picnic Island July 4^th? We’ll go.

Is there someone local that does auto window tinting?

This is just too cute. What an incredible bird! A Very Smart BirD

Most of us take the summons for jury duty seriously, but enough people skip out on their civic duty, that a new and ominous kind of scam has surfaced.  Fall for it and your identity could be stolen. In this con, someone calls pretending to be a court official who threateningly says a warrant has been issued for your arrest because you didn't show up for jury duty. The caller claims to be a jury coordinator. If you protest that you never received a summons for jury duty, the scammer asks you for your Social Security number and date of birth so he or she can verify the information and cancel the arrest warrant.  Sometimes they even ask for credit card numbers.  Give out any of this information and…Bingo! Your identity has just been stolen. The scam has been reported so far in 11 states. This scam is particularly insidious because they use intimidation over the phone to try to bully people into giving information by pretending they're with the court system.

Another reason to limit the feline population.  Does the Aqueduct Authority know about this water waster? Video

[Why Is the USA, in its effort to make ethanol, using corn instead of the cheaper and more efficient sugar cane?]  Probably because we have a lot of farmers already growing corn.  I'm not sure the climate in the lower 48 is sugar cane friendly.

We found the owner of the dog (golden retriever/lab) in Eden Pines. Thanks to the people who called and recognized the dog.

Anyone who has had to navigate the maze of an automated phone answering system with it’s “Press 1 for blah, 2 for blah blah and 3 for blah blah” instructions will share our frustration and yearning for the good old days when phones were answered by humans...real humans who lived in the same country as you.

IVRHacks is a database of shortcuts that you can use to exit their IVR maze as soon as possible and reach a human being. IVR Hacks: Shortcuts for Company IVR Systems

[dog fights and the cock fights] Both "sports" are alive and well, at the ocean end of Duval Street, in any bar. 

[ExxonMobil]  Just imagine the gas we could save by doing away with drive-thrus where the motor’s running while waiting in line?

A mind is a terrible thing to waste!

[American Bird Conservancy] I'm surprised that they are so easy on cats and their owners in light of all the facts about how devastating to birds and other wildlife these little killers are.

[Why Is the USA, in its effort to make ethanol, using corn instead of the cheaper and more efficient sugar cane] The real question is: Why isn’t the gov’t pushing the use of hemp seed oil as bio-diesel? This is a proven technology that has been around since Henry Ford ran it in the first Model T. The increase in plants required will produce oxygen and will filter out the carbon that will be emitted. Burning fossil fuels emits emissions into our atmosphere that was around millions of years ago when it was a plant. Burning Hemp seed oil will only put out what is already in our current atmosphere. I haven’t heard anything good about ethanol. From what I have found out it is actually more harmful then gas. E-85 is not the right answer and the last thing the reefs of the Keys need is more sugar cane plantation fertilizers in the water. Plant some weed George Washington said to sow it everywhere.

[Dead Motorcycle Rider] He should have run into the water and drowned. The bastard endangered too many innocent people on his last trip.

[pool open to public] I believe the KOA on Sugarloaf has one open to the public.

The last of the snowbirds are finally winging their way back home, thank God.

[fireworks] I guess that someone sure does like to assume a lot without asking why this person has a problem with something, but more specifically fireworks. My only knowledge of you is you must be self centered since your posting is all about you and not considerate at all of other perspectives.

So, let me give you a few perspectives to consider. First of all, I personally know the individual you are speaking of that calls the cops for fireworks; and from what I know of him and have observed, he tends to the sick deer and animals and constantly offers help and assistance to friends and neighbors with trimming trees, putting up other’s hurricane shutters or anything else they might need help with (Oh, what an ass, huh?

Could it be those using the Illegal fireworks have no regard to where their misfires land, glowing embers land or what personal property is being put at risk because of some immature, adolescent need to show your manliness by shooting off an explosive device (another example of a phallic symbol). So if caring about personal property, such as burning his vehicle, boat, home, etc makes him an ass, Oh, what an ass he is!

But most importantly, the reason he does not stand for the use of illegal fireworks is a reason you would absolutely have no idea about. His Grandfather served in World War I and his dad in World War II and he is the 7^th of seven kids (6 Boys, 1 Girl).  All of his brothers served in the military, Korea, Vietnam, the first Iraq war, Grenada, Lebanon and Somalia--after volunteering for front line combat duty himself; seeing his buddies die and picking their pieces up to return to their families, seventeen surgeries, plates and screws holding him together, endless prescriptions he does not need you turning his home (sanctuary) into the living hell he remembers by bringing the sounds of battle to his door steps.  Be grateful he hasn't had a flashback and come after you like the enemy your fireworks make him remember. 

Oh, what an ass you are.

I could have listed all of the decorations and awards his family has won in time of battle over the years in service to our country, but I don’t think Ed’s server could handle them all.  You might try talking to him some time. He has great stories and perspectives to give.  Or better yet, offer him some help on occasion and you will find out that he will offer you more help than you could ever give him in spite of his military related disabilities.

If you can’t understand this point of view might I suggest launching your next barrage of illegal fireworks up your anal cavity.

This right-wing nut sticks by the truth and your liberal lies are not going to change anything.

[29 The Hungarian] My friend was enthusiastic about a waterborne adventure and told me that he had a tub too in his yard above the henhouse. He promised to show it to me after school. Because his brother burned down his house they were staying with an uncle who was a cobbler. He was the one who made shoes out of my figure skates. The street he lived on was named after him. There was a lot of activity at my friend’s burned out house. Men were cleaning up the ruin, removing charred windows and doors and cleaning up the debris from the fire. That burned smell, like when a campfire is dowsed, filled the air, but a hundred times stronger. Other men were unloading lumber with which to rebuild from wagons. Búcsi and I walked to the back of the yard to the hen house where under the half roof I saw the boat-designate that was to be Búcsi's. It was upside down and it was very dusty, but there wasn't any chicken shit on it.

After we got it down, it wasn't a light weight; it was plain to see that this vessel was hewn from one huge log. Both ends were rounded and so was the bottom. After the dust was removed a quick examination revealed a crack at one end down about six inches. Perhaps this was the reason it was no longer in use. At the start of the crack it was three eights of an inch wide and gradually it got smaller. Búcsi said, "If we sink it and let it soak for a day the crack will close up and if we keep it wet it will stay that way." "Let's go and do it then, buddy. You’d better drill a small hole and put a piece of line in it for tying purposes."

Since the Vég's house was twice as far from Búcsi's as from my house, we decided to take it to the 'Horse Swimer'. It was called that because all the Paraszt (farmers) Brought their teams here. The gently sloping shore made it easy to drive in and out of the water. They let the wooden wheels of the wagons soak for a while. The large shade trees provided a cool place to rest for man and beast alike. After the teams were unhitched they were turned loose to swim. You wouldn't think so, but horses love to frolic in the water. There were no horses or farmers there when we arrived. My friend was glad that he had help bringing the tub down there. We had to find some rocks to weigh down the tub and soon we had it half full. It was real hard to push it into the water. It barely floated. Búcsi pushed it into the reeds and after rocking it from side to side a few times sank it. Tomorrow after school would recover it.

The next day we could hardly wait for school to let out. I hurried home as fast as I could because I promised my friend that I’d make him a paddle like mine and meet him at his uncle’s house. I used the wood that was left over from what Gramps gave me. It took me more than an hour to make the paddles and they turned out all right. I met Búcsi at his uncle’s and we walked down to the Horse Swimmer to recover the tub. We had to take off our shoes to wade in and remove the rocks first. Then it could be lifted high enough to dump the water out. The crack closed right up and Búcsi climbed in. He said it felt tipsy. The round bottom made it so. As soon as I handed him the paddle he could balance much easier. I pushed him out of the reeds and he started paddling and scooted across the water effortlessly. If he had wanted to race me I wouldn't stand a chance. He was very happy with his canoe and asked me to go and get mine. "Hey Búcsi, go paddle down to the Vég's and I'll meet you there."

He got going right away. I had to walk up to the dike then jog along the top until I got to the turn off to the Vég's. The canal almost ran parallel with the dike except it made a huge turn into the island before the turn off to the Vég's. When I arrived Búcsi was waiting for me with a big grin, "What took you so long? At times I could see you on the dike and I paddled harder. It was real easy. Launch your tub and let's go for a short cruise" "Not today, my friend, we will have to get ready." Mr.Vég wanted to know where we stole the butcher’s tub. Apparently only butchers used those one piece hewn tubs. We told him it was on loan to us and asked if we could leave it for a couple of days. He told us that we can leave them as long as we wanted. We would have to go and plan the cruise.

I proposed to Bucsi that we should paddle south on the canal as far as we could go in one day and come back the next day and that we would sleep out one night. He liked the idea. I hadn't a clue how far we could paddle in one day. The fun part was in finding out. Neither one of us knew of any maps that existed for this area. On the national map these small canals were not even marked. We had three days to get ready. In that time all the things needed for the cruise had to be collected. Food was the least of our problems. How to transport it was a problem. The lack of water proof containers made it difficult. We would have to improvise with what we had. I used what I had left of the inner tube for a waterproof container by tying shut the open ends. The bacon, smoke sausages, salt and bread would stay dry in there. The biggest hurdle was to get permission from our parents to stay out over night. I was sure they’d let us go. The complete absence of camping equipment made things more difficult. Our old rubberized rain coats would be used for ground sheets and blankets, we could borrow from home, would be our defense against the morning chill. A frying pan with the longest handle would be needed. Mom had one of those. Little things were easy to forget, like matches, string, pocket knife. We didn't need any water containers since we would be on water and the canal was clean enough to drink.

Every day Búcsi and I compared notes on what was still needed. By Friday afternoon everything was ready, we even had our fishing gear. We didn't take any poles, just a hand line. When I asked mom about staying out overnight she wanted to know why, where, and with whom? She then questioned the quality of my friend, "Why can't you find better friends than Búcsi? He will never amount to anything. Why don't you have a friend like Herményi Ferike? He will be a doctor or an engineer some day." She couldn't have been more wrong. Ferike didn't climb trees, didn't know how to shoot a catapult, handle a fishing pole, and didn't know how to fight either. He did get real good grades! The Hungarian

"How can I miss you if you won't go away?" is a great song by Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks. I have gone away and this is true that I miss Mimi at the Grouper getting me a glass of chardonnay and a fabulous dinner along with it. I miss Eric at Parrotdise getting me a glass of juice and a blackened fish sandwich and Mrs. Faus (Nancy) at Sugarloaf Lodge letting me open my own bottle. These people are very, very hard to replace in the real world. Let them know you appreciate it!  Smile or leave an extra buck for these fantastic people and I will happily buy you a drink when I am back in town.  Look for me sometime this summer. I wish I could say when, but it is up in the air.

The band Reach is going to be playing at the Key Deer Bar and Grill this Sunday from 4-8pm and I'm telling you they are very good. Just ask anybody who has heard them. Even ask good ol’ Capt Dan, himself. I'm sure he will agree with me.

It was the first time I used the timer on my camera. When it didn't go off I turned and said to myself, "At least its a nice sunset."  CLICK. It was at Marvin Key.

[Back to the security company here on Big Pine Key who has not paid me my last pay check or sent my W-2] After a recent check on the Monroe County Clerk of the Court website, I see that Timothy Driscol has filed against the same company for the same problem I am having. I have some info that might interest him. If any one out there knows him, can you please give him my e-mail?  Majesticsucks@yahoo.com

[Pit Bulls] The post yesterday has me totally confused.  What in the world does a pit bull have to do with nice weather?  And you said that their strong jaws were there but I'll be damned if I can find them over “there”.

[Good Bye] For the one past owner of an establishment on the easterly side of Big Pine, some if not most of the patrons of our struggling community wish to hear more of your traveling endeavors especially when they are pictured with you in them from NJ. We would love to hear about your trip back home, and the trials and tribulations it took for you to get back there. Please feel free to drop us a note every once a year or so updating us on how life is going for you back up there in NJ. No real need for any self advertising issues on here about frequent trips to local establishments, we will remember you, maybe even erect an statue in remembrance, kind of like the Packer truck, old, rusty, broken up, not cared for by the new owner, not wanted by the community, that same kind of memorial.

Please don't fret as to our sadness of your departure. We will try to get over it. Somehow we will adapt to not having you here. I, for one, don't know how that will happen the emotional scarring may run too deep for me to let go, almost finishing my new career. And all the thanks go to you for that over some past situations, but maybe if we all start realizing your not really here anymore it will make things easier. They say that absence makes the heart feel better, or something like that, so more and more absence might just be the thing we all need to overcome our dealing with your leaving. Good luck on touring the country, take as long as you need, and then some. We know you will be making your mark on other towns you visit, as a cat might do in a new home in the corner. Now allowing Big Pine's corner to start to dry up or be replaced as it may need.

Farewell our old friend. Farewell, no really, farewell, adios, we will hold the door, vamoose, go, be free.

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Wednesday April 25, 2007

Tuesday April 24, 2007

[The Hungarian] I enjoy his book, but I’d like to know where he buys his computer stuff. Do they have big stores and malls there? Is there a communist K-Mart?

[I feel bad for Neugent and Murphy for having to deal with the other commissioners who have so little grasp of what the citizens want] The other commissioners (DiGenarro, Spehar and McCoy) know what the citizen’s want.  They simply don’t care.  They have their own agendas, are in it only for themselves and what they can milk out of the system, and let the citizens and taxpayers be damned. 

This is Google’s newest free service (no wonder their stock is through the roof) It’s like 411, but free.  Google Voice Local Search

Found Dog in Eden Pines. Nice dog. Possibly a golden retriever or golden/lab mix. Call 872-3764. Leave message or call after 5 or 6 PM.

[We have a lot of deer, with child, this spring] Be careful with your words. If the deer were really pregnant “with child” instead of with fauns they would be certainly aborted instead of welcomed into the world.

I don’t care what uniform you put on, military, law enforcement and the like, whether you are on duty or off duty you are still duty-bound to perform regardless of the time of day or whether you are on the clock or not. Duty doesn’t stop when you punch out!

[American Bird Conservancy] Asking the bird people to comment on cats is like asking the KKK what they think of Al Sharpton and expecting an unbiased answer.

This is the house of Alexader Petufi in Dvnsvd, Hungary. It is the very last of it's kind it was 175 years old this year. Petufi was the nations poet and wrote the National Song

[ExxonMobil] Instead of boycotting them why don't we try and change our driving habits? It upsets me when people leave there cars running and the A/C on in the summer (the cops are good for this one).  I see it in Winn Dixie parking lot all the time.  Or how about turning off your engine when you’re talking to someone for more then a minute?  Then of course, there are the over modified trucks with the big tires.  The more rubber hitting the road the more gas used.   Since the gas crisis of the 70's, we, as arrogant Americans, have done nothing to decrease our consumption of gas.  Keep on Trucking.

[the Hungarian] I think we've been leading parallel lives.  We set off a homemade bomb for the 4^th of July one year to destroy a derelict car in a ditch.  A very satisfying BOOM, indeed. We started wandering back toward the regulation festivities when we heard an odd "whoosh, whoosh, whoosh" sound of something rapidly revolving as it approached through the air.  The hood of the car slammed into the ground not ten feet from us, having descended from the considerable height it attained when our bomb launched it.  From then on we set our bombs in the open, well away from potential projectiles.

[50+ years old bachelors] I agree with yesterday's poster. I have had more women then all those married guys ever dreamed of. Most married guys over 50 stay married because they can't compete, don't want to be alone and want someone like Mom to take care of them. The only excitement they get is the occasional bar pickup or hooker. And there are gay married men about. We love you guys.

Is the Cracked Egg back at the crossbones location? (Ed: Yes.)

Does anyone know whatever happened to Mark Kresser.  I remember reading that he molested a child years ago and I was wondering if he went to jail.

Can someone please give me the number for Biz Baz. Business Directory > Radio > WWUS

Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don't have.

Being paranoid on the computer is a good thing. They are out to get you. Encryption is the safest way to protect your self. TrueCrypt - Free Open-Source On-The-Fly Disk Encryption Software for Windows Vista/XP/2000 and Linux

A free game. Remove all the bricks to reveal the news. NewsBreaker

“We’ve always been a country who conducted assignations and toppled governments through lies, misinformation, deception and supporting brutal dictators.] My country has had "clandestine meetings for sex" with other countries?  Well, all right!

[The Pope this week said babies born without being baptized will no longer go to Limbo] If this doesn't cure you religious sickos of the propaganda mysticism that has ruined your lives, I don't know what will.

[Babies born without being baptized] Huh? That is a pretty much all of them I would guess. Don’t you mean babies dying?

[key deer's breeding season] is from September to January. This season is commonly known as the rut, where the bucks will engage in combat with their antlers over the breeding rights of the does. These battles can often result in injury to the battling bucks. The does have, from around one to two fawns a year, fewer than any other species of white tailed deer. This could be because of a lack of phosphorous or it is an evolutionary adaptation due to the key deer's very small territory. The gestation period for a doe key deer is 7 months. The mother’s birth their fawns usually between April and May. The average weight of a fawn (baby deer) is 1.5 kilograms. The buck has little to do with the fawn after it is born. It is all left up to the doe to raise the fawn. The young males usually wander off from the mother by age one, while the females tend to stay with their mother for a few years.

If you have any questions on any subject just type ASK.Com and go to that site and ask any question you want in question form.  They will answer and you have to sift thru the first 10 or 20 results to find exactly what you want.  Google.com and Dogpile.com and many, many others will also enhance your internet experience.  It’s like having the biggest library in the world at your fingertips. Happy searching.

Since I know both Tucker and Julie I can tell you that Julie doesn't need to watch out.  Tucker only has eyes for her.  They both work hard on their relationship and those are the ones that last.

[28 The Hungarian] Both owls were happy as pigs in shit. They had just about all their flight feathers. Orville would sit on my shoulder and shit on my back, then glide to the ground with ease. Two more weeks and they would be free to fly away. Búcsi and I decided it would be best if we released them close to their home. There were other old trees in the area so we were pretty sure that they would find one with a vacancy.

This week Búcsi's little brother Gyúri (George) burned their house down. Nothing was left, just the four walls. We were sitting in school and heard the church bell signaling fire. The village firefighting equipment consisted of a hand pump drawn by horses. The horses had to be commandeered from a wagon passing by the shed where the pump was kept. If no horses were available, then it had to be pulled by men. The water tank of the pump held three hundred gallons and this it had to be topped-off by hand. The Búcsi house had a thatched roof and within minutes it was an inferno. The fire brigade didn't have a snowball’s chance in hell. The second time the pump was topped off, the Búcsi well went dry. The bucket brigade had to haul the water from twice as far. The story goes that little Gyuri was hungry and decided to fry some eggs. He got some eggs from the hen house and matches and a pan from the kitchen. He didn't want to be seen so he went up to the Padlás (attic) made a fire up there, but made the fire too big and the thatch caught fire from the inside. He knew he made a big boo boo, got scarred ran down and hid in the yard. A neighbor came over and told Mrs. Búcsi, who was cooking-away in the kitchen, to get the hell out because her house was on fire. The lookout in the church steeple saw the smoke and signaled with the bell. When my friend got home, he had no roof to sleep under, or bed, or clothes, or toys. Just a smoking ruin waited for him. The fire consumed everything. Mom went and talked with Mrs. Búcsi and when she came home she picked out some of her dresses and went thru our clothes too. She gave them to my friend’s family, others helped too. Little Gyuri did a thorough spring cleaning. Nowadays Gyuri and I run into each other at the Kocsma, he drinks to excess and he is one of those obnoxious drunks. He makes out like we were such good friends when we never were.

Mom had a wooden vessel that she washed clothes in called a Teknyő (Tub), in size and shape it resembled the lower half of a coffin. I asked her if I could use it. "Yes, you can use it son, but if you destroy it or loose it I'll skin you alive." "Aw, mom, how could I loose a large thing like that?" "You have managed to do a lot more bizarre things. Just remember what I said." I now had to find some wood so that I could make some kayak type paddles. After a short search I found some, but I thought that I better ask Gramps if I could use that wood. He said, "No you can't use it.  I got that to make honeycomb frames for the bees, but I'll give you something you can use." He took me to the other part of the storeroom and said, "Here, you can select what you need from this lumber.  I know they are cut-off's but it will serve your purpose." "Thanks Grandpa this will do just fine." I don’t know how he could keep working with those godamn bees, he got stung all the time and don't seem to mind. I was eating a piece of bread smeared with butter and honey and the bees attacked me, The more I tried to shoo them away the more they came. I tried to run away, but they chased me. Finally, I had to throw away my tasty snack and find refuge in the house. One stung me under the left eye; it felt like cigarette burn, my eye swelled shut for a half a day. No matter how much they stung Gramps, he just didn't mind. I found the pieces of wood I needed and the making of the paddle began. It didn't take me a long time and the result was satisfactory. Now I had to haul this tub to the canal. The wagon and Olga were off somewhere so I’d just have to haul it on my back if I wanted to find out if it worked. I intended this tub to be my canoe during the summer except on wet days. I got it on my back and headed for the canal that was almost two miles distant. By the time I got to the dike it was getting heavier with each step. When I got to Vég's house on the other side of the dike, I realized that I could carry it no further. The canal was right behind Vég's yard. Mr. Vég was mucking out his stable. Those cows of his shit a lot, they shit all over the soccer pitch which was across the road from his house. I slipped on some and fell in some when we played. He was pushing a wheelbarrow loaded with cow shit and straw to the manure pile. I said, "Hello Mr.Vég." " Hello yourself, son What brought you here? It's too early to be out at the orchard" He dumped his load and turned toward the stable, "We're not staying at the orchard yet. I was wondering if you’d let me launch my boat from your yard?" "Son, does your mama know you got her washtub?" "Yes sir, she does. I just have to take good care of it. I want to see if I could float in it?" "You will float in it all right. I just don't know how long that thing was made to keep water in, not to keep water out" "Can I put it in the canal here?" "Yes you can, but don't go drowning on me." Old Vég probably thought that I couldn't swim. I slipped the tub in the water and it floated well. I managed getting in without turning over. It was fairly stable because the bottom was flat. I sat myself just about in the middle so I floated level. Pushing away from the shore I tried a few strokes with my paddle. It moved real good despite being square on both ends. I paddled south toward the orchard, went under the bridge and soon I saw the roof our cabin. This tub would be my canoe for the summer. I pulled up to our landing. I could hardly believe how effortless the trip was from the Vég's. I had to take off my shoes because to get out I had to step in the water. I had to get on my knees, put a leg over the side and tilt the tub just enough to get my other leg out. The next problem was that  I didn't have anything to tie it up with. I pushed the tub half way up on the landing and went to look for some cordage. The closet where the tools were kept was locked so I looked in the cabin. While rummaging around I disturbed a family of hedgehogs that took up residence there. They went scampering along the wall, there were four babies. Finally I found one of mom's aprons and pulled the string out of it. I could always blame it on the hedgehogs when the time came. I paddled back to the Vég's and asked Mr.Vég if I could leave my canoe on his shore. He didn't have any objections. I could hardly wait to tell my friend about my experiment! The Hungarian

Whew! You are right! "ConAgra will soon eclipse them all".  As usual, government is meddling where they should not.  Let the market forces compete without government intervention (subsidies).  Last spring I fed all my baby calves $120 per ton corn/barley malt pellet mix and this year if I want the same protein its all most $200 per ton and going higher! Do you think the pound price for that calf is going up? Nope, it’s going down!  Ya'll eat a steak or two for the old farmer and I'll get some of that high priced snapper in our Virginia store.   Watch for beef to get scarce and high. There is going to be a lot less pounds sold this year because we can't afford to put it on the calves and "they" set the price we get.  Makes those deer burgers look awful cheap.  You may feel great when you put that ethanol mix in your vehicle, but when you turn around and try to buy a corn fritter, watch out. 

The motorcyclist that was killed passed us near Mangrove Mama's, probably going in excess of 100 mph with two police cars in pursuit although held up by traffic.  He was an accident waiting to happen. 

You can find him at R&R Trailer, 289-1210, at the old location of Wild Bill's on Grassy Key, oceanside. www.boattrailerdoctor.com 

The 3700 to 3900 block of South Roosevelt Boulevard was closed to investigate the motorcycle crash, said Christie Phillips. Frederick Paul Carson sped by several sheriff's deputies on his Suzuki 1000 at Mile Marker 28, she said, and turned left at the entrance to the island. He reportedly veered into the construction zone by Seaside condos and, at an estimated speed of over 100 mph, crashed into a front-end loader going the other way. His leg was severed as he was thrown off the bike, Phillips said. "He was pretty much dead on impact."

Al-Qaeda leaders in Iraq are planning the first "large-scale" terrorist attacks on Britain and other western targets with the help of supporters in Iran, according to a leaked intelligence report.

Captain Dan was seen around the Keys this weekend at the Looe Key Tiki Bar on Friday night (the Mile Marker 24 Band packed the place!), the Sunday Jam at the Dockside Bar & Grill on Boot Key Harbor (welcome back, Rocketman and the Florida Straits Band!), and various other party spots. Let's all raise our glasses to this Keys original who is now enjoying a well-deserved retirement. Party on, Dan!

To the right wing-nut caught lying about Britain’s self-defense laws and his made up statistics. Now you have to slap yourself twice.

Wakey, wakey. the crotch, excrement, fart, shit, a-hole, expert is once more regaling us with his joyous vocabulary, and deeds he would love to accomplish. He seems like a real likable individual and must be a real joy to know in person.

[Dangerous dogs] Add Chihuahuas to your list. Ours is worse than our Pit Bull ever was.

Can anyone tell me what happened to the Bogie Chanel Yacht Club?  Tony Regna, Womack, Earl DeTurk, and I started it. Roy Boy came up with the slogan,

"Unique is what we seek. Bazaar is what we are"  Jackie Watson was our treasurer and split with the treasury. We had a lot of good tomes in the channel and out back too. Chek Jon always made things interesting. I just wondered if it’s still around.

Where can we go to see the dog fights now that we can't go to the cock fights?

I cannot believe that someone actually asked what your net worth is.  It would take me a few seconds picking my lower jaw off the floor to come up with any answer at all.  I guess the pat answer is that I'm too busy making it to stop and write it all down and add it up.  Truthfully, any given week if you have much of anything in the stock market you can be up or down $50,000 to 70,000 so you could also say it fluctuates so much that you don't actually keep up with a figure anymore.  What brazen boldness!  None of your beeswax.

[Sauce cook off] Wow, what a great time we all had at the cook off yesterday! I have to say that I thought every sauce entered was great to eat...no bad ones there at all.

The winner by only one vote was Byron Agababian (Byron tried to buy my vote  with a beer!) And in second place was Jeani Emery. All I can say is get over there by your sauces and tell folks how great yours is. 

I want to thank each ABATE member who worked so hard on this cook-off Sunday.  It was smooth, fun, and very organized.  And Michelle played the best music for us while we ate, drank, talked and bought those great new shirts Sandi Waite brought in for us all.

As of yet, I have no pictures so I will put in another one.  Anyone know who these folks are? Or whose bike this is?

Is there a pool that is open to the public or the residents of Big Pine/Little Torch/ Summerland Keys other than the pool at FKCC? I’m looking to swim some laps and teach the kids.

[dead motorcyclist] After reading several posts yesterday regarding the motorcyclist that crashed and died in KW, I am now pretty sure this is the same guy who almost hit me head-on. Glad he did not kill anyone else in the process. I’m also glad I was able to maneuver out of his way without flipping my SUV with my two kids in it. It is guys like this who get exactly what they deserve. I am tired of reckless people riding bikes and scooters. My husband has been riding safely for 15 years, but it is people like this who give all bikers a bad name.

Helen and Ricky,  eyyyyyy!  It be what breakfast is, a bounty of food, arrrrr and it be to yer liken as well matey, good to see ya at da' helm capt'n, and least be served to ya' from dem wenches of the oceans as well, we say a thanks NJ. and CO. for your gifts ! arrrrrrrr  damn cute  arrrrrrrrrrrr be on one's mind to ravish the little one, arrrrrrrrr    I say, bind er and dip er' in chocolate,

Say its not true about ole' Rob and ye' breakfast?, A thousand sorry's for Kelly and Trent, but least ye remember when we advised ye, (we told ya so), if for real, what a scallywag! arrrrrrrrr  I myself battled oncest with Capt'n Twit,  never to return I say, till'st Kelly opened,  as the parrot says, he rewards his customers, to swagger in arrrrrrrrrr just to show a tavern full,,, arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Let not any man enter that benounced location, until the same woe happens that happened at Key Deer I say, until that day when the owner leaves, for any of us to go there would be an act of treason, arrrrrrr  punishable by death arrrrrrrrrr , no scholars need be attesting, treat your people good, and they be a run'n back, see how young Capt'n John does, what a true Capt'n dare' I say,,arrrr  if all owners be like'm, well then, we'd be a fixin to eat well then my matey's, and part on the wench servers, be their wantin's  to wear their dress boxers, then hereby let them, be a fine cover'n,  here here...arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I just did some research and the UK, including England and Wales, had a gun crime rate of 12,805 and the US gun crime rate was 14,860. Maybe the original poster shouldn’t have said that England’s was higher then the United States without adding per capita. When you state facts you have to be correct in your figures or you will look like you are simply grinding a political axe. These facts make your original point incorrect.

[No Photo Available] I heard there is a new product out there by the makers of the "Head On" line. It is called "Hard On", and is applied directly to the area in question. The product fine print says that results will be greatly improved if applied vigorously by a 25 year old female with little hands.

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Tuesday April 24, 2007

Monday April 23, 2007

Former President Boris Yeltsin, who engineered the final collapse of the Soviet Union and pushed Russia to embrace democracy and a market economy, is dead. He was 76. He was also a famous vodka drinker and bad heart victim.

How long is the gestation period for Key Deer and what month do they usually have their fawns? We have a lot of deer, with child, this spring.

Saturday night a group of us went to Looe Key Tiki Bar Lounge.  What a great combination, the Moondogs sounding awesome and there are new bar tables and stools at the lounge. Bartenders George and Jessica were attentive to all of us.  Hey, Moondogs, Marsha was a “ten” addition to your all male crew. You guys are the best local band.  And, Bruce, Judy and Damon, we are all going to miss you here. Good luck with your new home and future in Alabama. Life is all about love and adventure.

Exxon and Mobile are the same American company.  One way of looking at is that they compete with Shell/Texaco based in the Netherlands, BP/Amoco based in Great Britain and CITGO, wholly owned by Venezuela’s Victor Chavez.  Chevron is the other name that comes to mind just now, but I don’t recall (too much TV news) if they are combined with someone else or not.  I do think it might be a good idea to not approve more of these big mergers to keep competition up, especially those buyouts by foreign companies. But don’t worry, with the move to Ethanol, ConAgra will soon eclipse them all, but corn flakes will sell for ten dollars a box.

[Animals covered under insurance policies]  Even in Monroe county you can get what is called "dog liability” added on to your homeowner’s policy.  It usually costs only $25 and is there in case your dog bites someone.  There is a list that most companies will not cover, Pit bulls, Shepards, Dobermans, and Chows are definitely on there.  If an insurance company finds out you have one of the dogs on the list, they will cancel your policy.  There is also a company that does not discriminate against dogs of any type, yet not all agencies have access to the company, you would need to ask your agent.

This is pretty cool. I’m pregnant. Free Online Pregnancy Test

To the denier of Britons anti-self defense laws.  You are a pawn of the Liberals and part of the problem that will eventually see the end of the American way of life.  May you never have to defend yourself or a loved one from the refuse that we have unleashed on the streets of this country.

The motorcyclist who died in Key West was, in sorts, being pursued. A Deputy first tried to stop him in Big Pine Key, but he fled.  The cops couldn't pursue because he was driving straight down the yellow line at speeds of about 130 mph.  He made it to Key West in under 10 minutes, blowing by several other cops.  At the triangle, he gave the middle finger to a Key West P.D. Officer before driving to his death at the curve. 

I’ve got to get me one of these. Video

All those who are concerned about change on Big Pine should worry about the biggest land owners, The U.S. Gov't and The State of Florida. If they ever decide to start selling off land were screwed.

I am at the junction of key deer blvd and US 1 attempting to turn right (west) towards Key West.  The light is green for the US 1 traffic, but as I look to the left, I only see a slow moving car.  Having plenty of room to turn right, I merge onto US 1, but as I am a motorcycle passes that slow moving car by crossing the double yellow lines and I guess he got mad because now I am in front of him, so he pulls up next to me in the center passing lane and starts yelling at me like I was the one that just committed at least two, maybe three, illegal traffic offenses. I have never ever seen anyone stupid enough to pass at a traffic light junction. What an ass. No wonder they kill themselves.

What a wake up call when my neighbor showed me the Oct. 1992 article in The National Wildlife Magazine “Is there a Killer in your House?” I knew that my cat was killing birds and the occasional chipmunk, but I figured it was just nature at work. I am embarrassed now to think of how naive I was. If you must have cats, please keep them indoors.

[England and America gun control]  Here’s the real skinny on comparing the effects. http://www.allsafedefense.com/news/International/BritvsUSA.htm

Does anyone know how to get a hold of Ron at R&R trailer?  Both numbers seem to be out of service for the last 2 weeks.  --Adam

Bill Maher called Alberto Gonzales the Sanjay of the Bush administration: He had a month to prepare and he still stunk!

Julie better look out because all the girls are after Tucker!

It really disgusts me to see comments made suggesting cruelty toward animals, cats, dogs, iguanas or any type of animal. Especially the fellow that suggest using cats to fish with.  I, as many, don't believe they should be allowed to run loose and prey on native species as they truly are invasive. However, that is no excuse to mistreat or harm any animal.  Cruelty is not something to joke about. It is not the animal’s fault, but the person’s responsible for letting them populate the area in the first place. Any one who suggests this type of treatment to animals is capable of abuse to humans and is a disgraceful coward and needs to be dealt with.

[She's the jerk for repeatedly hurting her father and putting the tape on the internet] Like Alec Baldwin, you seem to have lost sight of who is the child and who is the adult. There is nothing an 11-year-old can say to a parent that should provoke such a reaction. Nothing. Not even "I hate you and wish you weren't my dad. You're a shitty father and a narcissistic good-for-nothing, bastard." A child who is confused and in pain needs to know that, if nobody else on the planet loves her, her parents do. She was probably pushing him to the brink to test him. He failed.

Does anyone know if the motorcyclist that died in Key West was from Big Pine? Around 2:30 Saturday a neon motorcycle tore down US1 with a police officer in pursuit. We feared for the person’s life. The bike had to be going 80 miles an hour. This is not the first time this same bike has flown past us. I wonder if he was the same person that was killed.

To all those who recently lost their jobs at Rob's, come on over to the Key Deer Bar & Grill. We are always looking for good experienced help.

[27 The Hungarian] "Were not up to anything Nanah, can we have a box of matches?" "Matches! What do you need matches for; whose house are you going to burn down?" "We just want to make a little fire, Nanah, to sit around after dark." That was the truth, we would not sit too close to the fire though. "Here you are. Just be careful with the fire." "Thanks, Nanah." If the old lady only knew. Well, I’d rather not think about that. I wasn't about to tell her what we were about to set alight so we beat feet from there in a hurry. Everything was the same as we left it and there wasn't anybody around. The closest building was a stable and that was three hundred yards distant and on the village side of the dike.

"Búcsi was beginning to have doubts about the soundness of my plan, "Imre, if you set a corn stack on fire half the village will be here in less than a minute to see what the hell is burning." "Búcsi, you're crazy. The gypsies always set these things on fire for one reason or another. How many times have you or your old man ran to see what was burning?" "Well, never!" "You see, that's my point." "I just can't help worrying Imre. If get pinched this time, Decsov will send us to reform school for sure." "That’s why this must stay just between us; don't brag to nobody, but NOBODY about it. We have been very lucky so far. Isn't it exciting?" "Yes, but...?" "You just lay here as flat as you can.  I will run down and set the stack alight when the sun goes down behind the trees." We sat in silence and I wondered how big the explosion will be. These stacks were about six feet across so it should make a right decent fire.

When the sun touched the crown of the trees to the west I looked around real good and crawled to the other side of the dike and slid down the slope. There were only birds flying around the trees trying to find a perch for the night. I ran over to the stack and knelt down. I looked in the stack and the bomb laid there like a big rusty egg. “I'm going to fry you now”. I was very excited about the explosion. I stuck a match and threw it in where it fell on a bare patch of ground and went out. I stuck another. That fell close to some dry husk but went out too. I laid on my side and slid half way into the stack --the bomb was only a foot from my face. If the bomb went off right now they might find my shoes. I had that pleasant tickling feeling of fear in my stomach again. I was afraid but it was that sweet kind of fear that I had before a fight and was confident in my victory. I struck a final match and started to light the dry husks and leaves above me. When it looked like the fire would feed itself I got the hell out of there and crawled up the dike where Búcsi was eagerly waiting. He greeted me with, "It's burning, it's burning!" I looked back and flames were leaping from the top of the stack and there was lots of smoke too. There was a dead calm and the heat of the fire carried the smoke straight up along with burning cinders.

The flames cast a huge circle of light, but we were far outside of that glow. Just then I heard a rhythmic metallic sound, clank...clank…clank... A man on a bicycle! He was pedaling right toward us on top of the dike and his pedal was hitting the chain guard. I talked thru my teeth when I told Búcsi, "Don't look up, keep your face down, he won't see us!" It took forever for the uninvited biker to pedal past us. We were laying two feet from his tire tracks and he never looked down-- he was looking at the fire. He damn near disappeared in the dusk when he stopped and again was admiring our fire. I wished he'd move on! There was a flare of light and I saw his face for an instant. He lit a cigarette and pedaled on. I didn't know him. The stack collapsed into a glowing pile of ambers sending a shower of sparks skyward. I thought SHÍÍÍÍT my bomb was the dud of duds” “Come on bud.....FLASH......CRAAASH… BOOOM!” We could feel the air pressure on our face. The sky was full of glowing ambers. The rest was blown in a huge circle, larger than the circle of fire light was.

I looked at Búcsi and I knew that both of us wanted to cheer. Cheering was out, so we just hugged. Now we had to get the hell out of there as unseen as we arrived. The worst thing of all was that we’d have to keep it all to ourselves. At least I got to share the adventure with a friend and all of us were safe, except some earthworms. We went home in a roundabout way. We didn't want to be seen near the dike.  The next day at school some of my classmates were asking if I heard the big explosion, that the gypsies were setting fires again in the fields. Both of us responded with "We didn't hear nothing, we didn't see nothing, we were sitting around our own fire." It was easy being ignorant. For days the talk went on in the village about the fire and explosion outside the dike. Even the police visited the scene and found nothing. Their conclusion was that the gypsy’s fire set off some hidden ordinance underground. Bless their communist hearts! The Hungarian

What would be the perfect thing to say to inquiring little minds who ask your net worth? What could you say to the person who announces their salary? These are just acquaintances, not good friends.

People are kind of funny with money, especially when they don't have much. The richest people often look to be middle class and it seems the ones who boast and have a lot of toys are drowning in debt. The things you own end up owning you. They could find other positive ways to boost their low self-esteem. When someone is cheap with their money, they're usually cheap with their love. Many down-to-earth people enjoy a nice dinner out on special occasions. Not Ponderosa! Change the tape once in a while and try different positions in life because doing things the same way, time after time is a big yawn. Money is not the root of all evil and it certainly does buy some peace and happiness. And lots of inquires and jealousy. 

Yesterday, we witnessed a pit bull and a Labrador that live in the same home nearly kill each other over a stick. It was a horrible, violent few minutes that the neighborhood had to witness. I don't care what anyone says, these dogs would have killed each other if neighbors hadn't intervened. I thanked God that one of the local children we not harmed while trying to help.

You all worried about Feral Felines, Chain Stores, and Restaurant Service? I Just saw a program on the BBC about the Littlest Gangsters! It was about Latino gangs in just about every city in the USA. From Miami to Seattle, from Boston to San Diego. They are made up of every country from south of the border. Most of them are convicted felons. The leaders can control the gang; even from prison. Their occupation is crime. They look at all of you as a fat cow. Because most of the perpetrators are under age, the police can’t do squat. The police spokesman commented that the Mafia was minor league compared to these guys!

[motorcyclist accidentally kills himself] Since the one that almost hit me head on at MM12 on US1 yesterday was wearing a helmet I will assume this was not him. He was white-lining, well double yellow-lining it down US1 while weaving in and out doing, now less then,

[Check the statistics English gun control] Armed robbery, assault, burglary and home invasions are 5 times the per capita rates of the USA.  Only the criminals have guns and they are having a field day.  This number is not quite as high in France, Spain and Italy, but much higher than in this country.  Check it out and learn something!

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Monday April 23, 2007

Sunday April 22, 2007

Earth Day 2007. Save it or lose it!

Today I witnessed a motorcyclist accidentally kill himself at the big bend in S. Roosevelt near the airport. I was the second car from him when he, coming from the  Flagler St. direction, missed the bend, cut right across my lane onto the road construction fill, and ran right into the rear tire and aft section of a huge front end loader. I guess he was going between 50 and 80 mph. He was hauling ass! I won't go into any details on his injuries, but thank god he died instantly. He had no helmet. The cycle tumbled 15 feet into the air and bounced end over end about 200 feet from the front end loader. A cop on the scene who took my info asked if I saw him being pursued by police, which I had not. Twice before I was allowed to leave, I heard two different cops refer to it as a crime scene. 

True, there are already many franchise establishments on Big Pine as has been noted here at length.  Recently, however, there has been a lot of hue and cry about not letting any more businesses open here that are part of a national franchise.  Some of these companies have recently started taking people to court, i.e. Walgreens.  Start preparing answers to the question of why this one and not that one.  Don’t get me wrong, I like Radio Shack.   I also like McDonalds.

[some firm up around Tampa interested in redeveloping] Marine Bank was bought out by a bank in Ark. Money from all over the world is and has been coming to the Keys. Nothing is out of the question...nothing. We here on Big Pine Key have been blessed with a very special place and some special critters (Key Deer, Marsh Rabbits, tree snails, etc) like them or not. They, along with how little land we have open for change, will stop most of the crazy stuff that is happening throughout the keys. This is a good thing.

My cat heard about the cat roundup and tried to barricade herself in the toilet paper closet. After a brief standoff she surrendered with the promise of Kibbles.

[Pit Bulls] Years ago I adopted a neutered 6 month old Pit Bull pup from a local animal shelter.  The dog was always very well treated, well cared for and well fed.  At about age three his personality began to change.  He became very territorial both inside the house and out.  He picked out a spot on the sofa as “his” and began to snarl and bare his teeth if anyone approached him in “his spot.”  He also became very territorial in the yard, snarling if anyone approached.  He then began to mark his territory inside the house with a little squirt here and there.  One day at a family B-B-Q, shortly after we noticed this latest behavior, a small child approached the dog and he lunged and snapped.  Only luck, and her dad quickly pulling her back, did she avoid being bitten.  The following day the dog saw his last sunrise.  He was taken to a shelter, the problem explained, and he was put down.  I remember the vet at the shelter saying, “It’s the breed.  They were bred to fight and bite and inbreeding has made it worse.  They can’t be trusted.”  

The Pope this week said that, contrary to centuries of law, babies born without being baptized will no longer have to go to Limbo. Starting this week they can go directly to Heaven. Babies already in Limbo for the past 2,000 years will be allowed to move to heaven as soon as room is available.

To the person saying that Britain has outlawed armed self-defense and because of that their crimes have risen above the US. What a crock? Smack yourself.

A small plane crashed when it clipped the cable on the Blimp yesterday and crashed into the water on Cudjoe killing all three passengers.

"One Particular Harbour"  An island style party benefiting the  Boys & Girls Clubs of the Keys  Sunday, May 13, 2007  5-8 p.m.  Place: Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville  Caribbean Buffet  Margaritas gratis or 2 drinks of your choice  MM 24 Band  and Silent Auction  $40/person Dress: Casual  For more information call: (305) 296-2258  Great party, great prizes, great silent auction for a great cause.

Taste My Sauce' Pasta Cook Off. Today, Sunday April 22 Noon-4pm Anyone is welcomed to enter this cooking contest with their best pasta sauce. Everyone in the Keys is invited to attend the eating and judging segments. Coconuts Lounge, mm30. Bulletin Board

[Property tax elimination] The writer of that post was clearly not thinking about the big picture.  If you are not an owner you rent from one.  If you are neither you are a burden to society and your opinion doesn't count.  If property taxes are not controlled, the burden must be covered and will always fall to the renter. By the way, if you are buying so much taxable junk that the difference will make a great change in your life, I recommend that you quit wasting money and invest in your own home and your outlook will change.

[Fireworks] I live in Big Pine and know for a fact that a guy in a small house on Begonia always calls the cops at the slightest bit of fireworks--even on the 4th of July. What an Ass.

[Bagel Island] I would just like to tell the new owners what a great job they are doing. I lived in Big Pine for 5 years and would never go to the bagel place with the previous owner. The food was terrible and the owner was very rude. You guys have great bagels and are really nice people.

Here's a photo of another BPK biker...anyone know him?

It was great having breakfast with Helen and Ricky again! The sausage gravy and biscuits are still great. I saw a few familiar faces too. We will be back.

Pillows on planes. Video

It seems the dickweed is up to his usual butthead self. No more breakfast at Rob’s. He decided after a very good Monday to fire all of the breakfast staff. That’s too bad, it was a great place for breakfast and of course Kelley and Lisa and staff were great as well. We will miss them, but hopefully, they will survive this and return somewhere else. I will be boycotting Rob’s at lunch and dinner from now on. 
--jimwhitmarsh@bellsouth.net

[AOL Penis fights back] To the person who thinks I sound like a penis. What exactly does a penis sound like? Have you had many conversations with penises before? Frankly, I wouldn't want to get close enough to one to talk with it, but I guess you have some experience in that area. I suspect that you too are an AOL retard too stupid to handle the internet without some big brother there who, not only, infests your computer with noxious spyware, but charges you for it as well.

[gun free society] An instant dictatorship, ask anybody from Mexico to Argentina. The bad guys can buy guns anywhere or make them. It can and will happen here too.

[26 The Hungarian] Gramps nabbed me one day and asked me to go out to the orchard with him. He was taking four beehives out on the wagon. The young fruit trees were getting ready to bloom and Gramps wanted his bees to do the pollination. Olga was harnessed and she was glad to be out of her stall, she was even acting frisky! Gramps had to hold her back a couple times when she wanted to run. Gramps didn't want to upset the bees too much. The bees were unloaded among the trees, but Gramps forgot his smoker. A smoker is a device to keep the bees calm with smoke. (since than I’ve wondered if Gramps ever used dried hemp in it. That would keep the bees calm and gramps too.) He asked me to go back home and get it. To make my walk as short as possible I didn't walk back along the road, instead I cut across the fields. Since it was spring some of the fields were freshly plowed and the fragrance of the fresh earth filled my nostrils. As I was walking along kicking clods of dirt, one clod in my path caught my attention, it was too symmetrical. As I got closer I saw that it wasn't a dirt clod at all, but a rusty lump of metal about the size and shape of a large coffee mug. I kneeled down and looked at it real good from all around; than I had a flashback. I remembered seeing a thing like this on a poster at school. It was a large color poster with other items on it too, like bombs, bullets, and grenades. One of these coffee mug-looking things were on it also. The poster said it was an aerial mine. It said that it was highly dangerous, do not touch, do not move, and report it to the police immediately!  Just my kind of toy, I never had an aerial mine before why should the police have all the fun. I'm not going to let this opportunity slip by.
 

I looked around real good to see if any one was around and to note any reference points so I could find my bomb again. I couldn't see a soul and I hurried off to get the smoker. On my way back to Gramps I found it again with no problem, but just to make sure I got a stick and stuck it in the ground next to it. The farmers plow unearthed this thing, if it didn't explode from the collision with the plow, it must be pretty dormant. I must figure out how to wake it up. These things were dropped out of B-17 and B-24 bombers on Hungary in 1944 and 1945. Fifthly or a hundred of these things were packed into cylinder-shaped containers. The planes dropped them from a great altitude, but the containers only opened one thousand feet above the ground releasing the deadly seeds to insured a thorough saturation, The seeds had winglets that induced a spin like a maple seedpod, this spin armed the mine to explode on impact. The bomb I found was missing its winglets. They had probably rusted away because it had been nine years since the end of the war. I have seen the larger deployment cylinders all over the village being used as feeding troughs for live stock. This bomb was a dud for sure, but I would blow it up. All the way home I was trying to figure out a way to transport this monster without blowing myself to smithereens. I couldn't blow it up where it was, it had to be moved!

At home I checked my kite string; it proved to be too weak for my purpose. The next day at school I told Búcsi what I found, and asked him if he had anything stronger than kite string. He said that he had a roll of packing twine that is used to tie grain sacks shut and other securing jobs. A ball of it was at least a hundred yards or longer. I asked him if he could get it. "Sure I can. What do you want to do?" "After school we'll go to your house, get the twine and I will show you what I want to do."

When we got back to the field the bomb was laying just as I left it and that stick I stuck next to in made it easy to find. Luckily there wasn't anyone around. Búcsi knelt down close to the bomb and looked at it with amazement, "What do you want to do to with it?" "What do you think? blow it up, of course." "Hey, don't you remember what happened to your brother and Attila?" "Sure I do, but I am not going to throw this thing, I'm not even going to touch it." "Then how are you going to move it, smart ass? I know you ain't no magician!" "That's what the twine is for. We will not be near it when it blows up, but we will hear and see the fireworks!" "How are we going to do that?" My friend was getting interested so then I pointed, "Over that way, just outside of the dike there is a cut corn field a half a mile from here, maybe a little more. The cornstalks have been stacked. We have to get this there without blowing it up. Give me that twine."

I unwound about ten feet and tied a large loop on the end and made a clove hitch from the loop. I then carefully slipped the clove hitch over the bomb. There was a delicious tingling of fear in my stomach. I had to put my hand on the bomb when I tightened the clove hitch. Now the bomb was secured to the end of the twine. I had no idea what the killing radius of this bomb was, but I figured that the farther away the safer we were. So I told Búcsi, "Take the ball of twine and slowly unwind it, but don't pull on it. Go that way!" I pointed in the direction of the cornfield. When he was thirty yards away I yelled for him to stop. I joined him and he handed me the ball of twine. I held the ball in my left hand, wrapped the twine around my right hand a few turns and took up the slack. This twine was strong but it stretched a lot. I pulled and pulled. I took a few steps backwards and pulled some more. The twine was tight as a banjo string when all of a sudden I saw the bomb leap into the air flying toward us! We got moving real quick, but the bomb only bounced toward us fifteen or sixteen feet before it came to rest. It must have been stuck to the ground. Now that it was free, it was mine. I got the twine off my hand and unwound some more from the ball and started to pull. The bomb came sliding along like some pull toy. I told Búcsi if he sees a flash to drop without hesitation even if he has to drop into a cow pie. We crossed a piece of pasture and the bomb came along like a puppy. "Hey buddy, do you have any matches?" "What the hell for?" "To start a fire!" "Why would I want to start a fire, Imre?" "To blow up the bomb!" "This is getting more complicated by the minute!" "This is a lot better than sitting at home doing homework. This you will never forget if you live to be a hundred!"

As we walked toward the corn field the stacks came into view, I was hoping that the bomb wouldn't hang up on something. If it does either Búcsi or I will have to go back and free it. The next thing we must do is to place the bomb into a cornstalk stack closest to the dike. "Búcsi, go into that stack and wiggle thru to the other side. Take the twine with you. Do you have your knife?" "Sure, I have it right here. What will I need my knife for?" "Once you are out of the stack and the bomb is positioned you cut the twine. No point of leaving it here. I will tell you when. OK, get going, but keep an eye on me and stop when I signal you too." We had been very fortunate that nobody came by or even came close. Búcsi climbed into the stack and came out the other side. The bomb almost followed his footsteps into the stack. When the bomb was totally buried, I motioned for Búcsi to stop and cut the twine. He started to roll up the twine, "Stop, Stop, just cut it!" I yelled. No point in going closer to that thing than we had to. I guess he didn't want to waste any twine.


He came walking back, "Now what?" "Since neither of us have any matches, we have to go to my house or Nanah's to get some. By the time we get back it should be dark enough!" As soon as we walked in the door Nanah asked, "What are you two birds up to now?" The Hungarian

We would go to Bagel Island more often if it was ever open when we arrived.  It would be nice to go for a sandwich Sunday afternoon after church, chores, etc. 
(Ed: You're wish is their command. Bagel Island's new hours are:
Tuesday - Thursday 7am-2pm
Friday, Saturday and Monday 7am-7pm
Closed Thursdays during the summer.)

[Alec Baldwin] My father was strict in raising of myself and my brother and sister; we would even get the occasional smack on the butt.

There is no reason for the things he said to his daughter. After all isn't he supposed to be the adult in the relationship? I think the man drinks too much and he let his ass-hole overload his mind, plain and simple. 

Some people will believe anything, with no idea what you are talking about!  http://tinyurl.com/ygrlc7

[ABATE state ride photo] It looks like Willie Nelson behind the flag.

The Moondogs were great last night at the Key Deer (especially Julie’s dreamy boy friend Tucker). The food was also Great!

Is there a fine for riding a Key deer?  I know there is one for feeding them, but what about saddling them up and riding down US1?

As far as I know, there are no insurance companies in Monroe County or Florida that cover dogs or any animal under a home owner’s policy. So if you are attacked by an animal, the owner and his property are yours, if your lawyer knows what he's doing. Woof! Go get 'em!

This is to the poster that is spouting Bigots, Rednecks, KKK. at anyone who dared speak up in defense of Imus's indiscretion. Man, are you black or just a wanabe? You got so much hate in you that you rival the reddest redneck.

I did some research about cats after reading an article in a 1989 Natural History Magazine entitled "Beware of well-fed felines." It is just sickening how we humans are so emotionally attached to these killers just because they were so cute as kittens.

The Florida Keys are The Florida Cays in about five years and we are history! http://www.cayclub.com/

I heard the very tail end of a conversation on the VHF radio about noon which said that 3 bodies were brought to the Venture Out grounds. Anyone with any info on this?

Meteor Shower Peaks on Sunday. Look for the Lyrid meteor shower before dawn on April 22 and 23 in North America. If you find a location with a clear, dark sky, you could see 10 or more meteors per hour.

The 3 bodies that were brought to Venture Out were recovered from the small airplane that hit the cable that tethers Fat Albert blimp.

[Pit Bulls]  We once had two, a male and female.  These were “gentle” and we had children around them.  One day they got out and tore the throats out of 15 goats.  The goat owner shot both, killing one.  We had huge Vet bills. We had to pay for the goats and pay for their burial.  We got off cheap.  No more pit bulls ever for us.  Little yappers are the way to go.

Want to drive gas prices down?  If the two biggest retailers of fuel are boycotted by you and all those you know we could force the price down. Who are they? Mobile and Exxon.

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Sunday April 22, 2007

Saturday April 21, 2007

"I believe in trap, neuter, release," says Wednesday's poster. I'm sure he is well-intentioned, but scientists biologists, and people much more informed and intelligent than I do not support TNR (trap, neuter, release). Want a few well respected organizations that are anti-TNR? How about the Florida Dept. of Health? Or the National Assn of State Public Health Veterinarians? Or The Wildlife Society? Or The American Bird Conservancy? I could list even more organizations, but it would be much easier for every cat lover/never-gave-a-thought-about-wildlife person to do some research via Internet before making fools of themselves by standing on a corner holding signs, " Honk if you love cats," or such nonsense, or by posting anything on a web site favoring not removing such non-native predators.

We’ve always been a country who conducted assignations and toppled governments through lies, misinformation, deception and supporting brutal dictators. Hell, we were responsible for bringing down the only democratic government the Middle East ever had in Iran. Most people don't know it, but the USA brought down Iran's president so we could replace him with the Shah who would be more favorable to British oil interests. It's a long and complicated story of countries trying to control oil profits on a global scale. We've always operated without conscience. In the Vietnam War protests our country went so far as to plant phony demonstrators who's job it was to cause trouble and dissension in the popular movement. The peaceful demonstrations were against the Vietnam war. These government "plants" would disrupt meetings and try to instigate violence.

The only reason people have started to complain about our government now is because now they are taking away our civil liberties. We have always had a great country, but a scary government.

Bells on cats don’t warn or stop cats from killing anything. That’s just a myth.

Dixie Spehar is still defending her purchase of the Hickory House boat ramp project even though she paid too much for it and even though there’s no parking for cars and boat trailers. Boaters couldn't even use the ramp because there's no parking for their cars and trailers. Of course Mayor DiGennaro said Ms Spehar doesn’t deserve criticism for a buying a boat ramp with no parking and for way to much of our money. I feel bad for Neugent and Murphy for having to deal with the other commissioners who have so little grasp of what the citizens want.

Alec Baldwin’s tirade at his young daughter for being a jerk was nothing compared what my father used to say to me. I turned out all right. His daughter’s the jerk here. The father was hurt and lashing out at his daughter for it. She’s the jerk for repeatedly hurting her father and putting the tape on the internet in order to hurt him further.

How can some firm up around Tampa be interested in redeveloping Venture Out when most of the lots there are individually owned?  Sounds like someone is trying to stir things up on this web site.  What if everyone won’t sell?

Time for all you 50+ years old bachelors that have never been married to come out of the closet. We love you man!

I just got some pictures from the ABATE state ride, so here is one. Let's see who you know in this one.

[Courts love precedent and Big Pine just set one with Radio Shack.]  Is this poster near-sighted or just ignorant?  We have a couple hardware stores and real estate offices that are national franchisees and they were here long before Radio Shack.

My son’s my mother’s brother-in-law, or something like that. Video

[Catch, neuter and release rednecks] Let's breed pit bulls to attack and kill rednecks. Since these folks make up the majority of people who own these deadly animals, the problem will soon take care of itself.

[World's Biggest Dog has a 38-inch neck and weighs 282 pounds] I have seen some women who have these characteristics hanging out a local watering hole on Ramrod.

[Pit Bull] Equating a dog bred to kill with an inert gun is a real stretch of logic, but that is what I would expect from the mental/testosterone challenged giants who have these dogs. "Hey honey, get me another beer, NASCAR races are on ESPN."

[Gun free Brittan] The poster said gun free like it is a good thing.  Since the Britts have outlawed self defense, the crime rate has jumped to five times that of the U.S. and ten times that of its own before the ban.

[those of us who don't own property will have to pay for those who do]  No, you will only get a taste of the huge property tax bill we get on a tiny 45 year old cinderblock/stucco house.  You would have to purchase how much to be taxed in the teens.  I guess the taxers have found a way to get some tax revenue out of non-owners and it’s about time! 

All pit bulls are inherent killers or else Mexicans would be fighting poodles.

I finally got tired of all the garbage I was receiving in the mail, i.e., 0% APR credit card, and buy this and join that.  So here is what I do.  I open the envelope and pull out the post paid return envelope and stuff it with all the trash they sent me, including the envelope, and I send it back to them and they have to pay the postage.  I laugh inside a little every time I do this.  If everyone did, you would not receive so much junk mail.

[24 The Hungarian] Búcsi told me that he knew where a large owl was nesting and that we should check it out. By now all the trees had their leaves and the two of us headed for the island. After along trek thru the woods and a lot of searching, Búcsi pointed to a large willow tree, "That's the one, there." I was going to run right over, but he stopped me, "First we have to find out if anyone's home. The owl has a sharp beak and claws to protect her nest." I already saw the opening on the trunk that was the entrance to the nest. If Búcsi got on his hands and knees next to the tree I could stand on his back and shine my light into the nest. Very quietly we crept up to the tree. I stood on Búcsi's back and shined my light thru the opening. Two large yellow eyes were looking back at me and I got so startled so that I lost my balance and fell on my back with a thud. At the same instant the owl emerged from the opening and with silent sweeps of her wings disappeared thru the trees. Now I got on my hands and knees and Búcsi stood on my back and exclaimed, "Hey Imre, there's a couple eggs in here! We should leave them and come back a few weeks later." “All right, all right, jump down already, your shoes are murder on my back. Are you using Hobnails?" So we left the eggs and would wait until they became little owls. In the mean time we joined the school band.

That sounds like I jumped from the frying pan into the fire, but not really.  It didn't cost anything; band practice was after school during the week. Both of us chose the Coronet, it's like the trumpet with three keys. It was so much easier than the violin and I had a leg up because I could read music. In a week or two Bűcsi and I could do the scales and some basic tunes. We practiced out in the yard. Our neighbors were not happy campers.

I read up on owls and found out that they hunted at night, that's why they had such large eyes. It had been more than two weeks before we visited the owls nest again. It was a lot harder to find it in the dark, but now the owner was away hunting. It was I who shined a light in the nest first and what greeted me made me smile. Two naked owl chicks whose eyes were still closed and with their mouths open wide toward the light. It would be a death sentence for them if they were taken out of the nest now so we’d wait for a few more weeks until they had their feathers and were stronger. Mother owl will have no difficulty feeding them as there were plenty of mice, lizards, moles, and skinks in the woods. Abound this time the fishing was getting good.

The sun perch were jumping in the canal and at the 'Horse Swimmer' . Depending on the weather the canal or the Horse Swimmer were our fishing spots. We had very basic fishing equipment, heavy sewing thread, a pin bent into a hook, a cork out of a wine bottle and a goose feather. A good pole from a boysenberry tree completed our fishing gear. Sometimes the fish got away because the pin straightened out or the fish would slide off from the lack of a barb on the pin. When the water in the canal reached tolerable temperatures we went Kosarazni or Basketing. The canal wasn't very deep. For us, the water was only chest high. Each of us brought a large willow basket. We jumped into the canal buck ass naked and five or six of us could block the canal in most places. Three or just two guys with branches or poles beat the water fifty yards away to scare the fish into the baskets. When you felt the fish in the basket all you had to do is lift it out of the water.  
 

Another boy on shore was waiting with a sack and you throw him the fish. Everyone would take a turn in the water. The peaks of excitement were when an angolna (eel) got in the basket. At those times baskets were abandoned amidst much cussing and screaming. The basketeer thinking it was a snake because we hadn't a clue that there were no poisonous snakes in that part of the country. On one occasion when cousin Joe was with us, I was left at a bridge with a stout pole to beat the water. The boys were coming toward me. Where I was standing it was smooth concrete steeply inclined. I should have taken off my sandals because while beating the water I started sliding. While trying to find some footing I let go of the pole, the end of which slipped into the right leg of my shorts. When it could go no further, my weight started to push the pole into the muddy bottom of the canal. I thought that I was going to get a dunking for sure, but everything came to a halt when I was hanging upside down about a foot above the water. My frantic yelling got the attention of the boys. Joe came charging over and took me down. Jakos Zsiga was the best angler that I knew. He was seven years older than me, but was small for his age; my cousin Joe looked like a giant next to him. Zsiga’s dad was my dad's conductor when he was driving the bus to the train station. To this guy fishing was everything. Almost all the money he earned went for hooks and fishing line, everything else he made himself. He was the one who taught me how to fish. The first time he took me to his house I could hardly believe it. The four of them lived in a tiny cabin not much bigger than ours at the orchard, but this one had a loft. Zsiga lived up there year round. It must have been real cold during the winter. The previous summer Zsiga was the talk of the village because while fishing on the Danube he hooked and landed an eighty-eight pound channel catfish. These suckers eat ducks! He only outweighed the fish by four pounds. He accomplished this feat from a Ladik using a hand line. The fish pulled him around for a couple of hours before it was tired enough to be pulled into the boat. When he fished from the shore he could never cast his line in far enough so he swam his baited line far out. Zsiga is a nice old man now and lives very close to the Danube. A few years ago he suffered a massive stroke that partially crippled him and turned his hair snow white. I visit my fishing friend from time to time and we talk about the times of our youth. The Hungarian

Mango trees are surge intolerant.

[Britain's gun free society] I could tell you the statistics on how crime has risen in Great Britain,  Australia and other gun free societies but you wouldn't believe me, so look it up for yourself and you will see that more guns equal less crime. When most of the population is unarmed it’s easy pickings for the lawless. This is true

in our own country too. The cities with the most stringent gun laws are also the cities with the worst crime rate.

Virginia has fairly liberal gun laws, but carrying a gun on a college campus is illegal so it was easy for a nut to go on a rampage. I wonder how many concealed weapon permitted people wish they had their pistols that day. The terrible tragedy last Monday could have been stopped by one legally armed student or teacher.  That happened a few years ago in Alabama (I think it was) when a nut went on a shooting spree and a teacher went out to his car and got his own gun and stopped anyone else from getting shot. Of course the media didn't harp on that tragedy for weeks on end. 

[Comet Lovejoy] April 20-26 will be the best time for viewers in the Northern Hemisphere to see this newly discovered comet. Although it won't be visible to the naked eye, you can view it through a backyard telescope or through an online telescope from Slooh.com. 

Happy birthday Steve Miller. See you tomorrow for Jims' Bacardi light.

[Prudential Keyside Properties]  A huge company with 5 offices in the Keys. Are they all closing?  Is it just the Big Pine Key office that is closing? Will all the local realtors that worked there use the Key West Office?  It’s going to be a bit far to drive to the next closest office which, I think, is in Islamorada?  Ouch!

Dan Schwab has hit the nail on the head with the new look for the Bagel Island logo!  Hey, its a Bagel Island.  By the way, if you haven't been there, the food is to die for and you get it exactly as you order it and the wonderful coffee too. 

Being a snowbird it’s hard to get locals to say anything to you, but twice there we were included in the lively morning conversation.  If everyone would give locals a chance and not judge them by their clothes or beards we would all be better off.  Most of them are very hard working and do not all have Keys Disease.  I think most of those have gone.  We have a neighbor who fishes (farms the ocean) and he would laugh if he knew how we hang on his every word trying to learn from him, anyway he is a very easy going, hard working, quiet individual who seems to have a lot of good sense.  Yes, the Keys are changing, and one nice change I would like to see is the attitude that we are all Piners, some just stay longer than others.

Design Our Pepsi Can

I hope everyone had a happy 4/20. Keep on puffin'.

Thank goodness Helen is crackin; eggs again. I went for breakfast at Crossbones and there she was. Same old menu, and great food too.

When I lived on Ramrod Key I had the best mango tree down there. We had so many mangoes that we gave a lot away and also had enough to freeze for the rest of the year. The "good" season for mangoes builds to a peak then slows down with a cycle of about seven years. Haydens are the best.

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Saturday April 21, 2007

Friday April 20, 2007

[Today's gossip] Prudential went out of business and sold their building to Century 21 who then sold the building to First State Bank.

Google’s income this quarter rose 69% Wow. Their success lies in the fact that they spend billions of dollars buying great companies and then give away their product! What an original business plan.

Wouldn’t it be ironic if the Alberto Gonzales scandal brought down the Bush administration after all the terrible things President Bush has done?

The hearings will be re-broadcast this Sunday at 10:30 am on
C-SPAN

Can I get and affordable housing permit for a dry lot in Key Largo that is scarified Tier 3? That means no hammock if you didn't know that.

[Virginia Tech Shooter] I can't believe the news and people talking about it still using the words troubled and disturbed when describing this man. He wasn’t disturbed he was insane! 

Bagel Island is now open 7 to 7 Friday and Saturday. We will be serving sub sandwiches and salads after 2 pm Friday and Saturday along with coffee, espresso smoothies, etc. We will be closing Thursdays during the summer season. Thanks for your patronage. It has and will be greatly appreciated Brian and Donna.

(Ed: This unfinished logo was created by our humor editor Dan Schwab. Thanks Dan.)

I’m wondering how the mango trees are doing around the lower Keys.  Mine looks like it is barely alive since the hurricanes and I haven't seen a mango since then.

The Moondogs will be rockin' the Key Deer Bar and Grill tonight, Friday. Come join the fun and dancing. Dogs please bring your owners along for the party!

The Fla. legislature is debating an extreme, to me, measure: Getting rid of property taxes and raising the sales tax from 7 1/2 cents to 10 cents (a 33% increase). Then those of us who don't own property will have to pay for those who do. This increase, as per all recent tax changes, will impact the least wealthy disproportionately. How many small purchases will it take to offset the loss of revenue from one new large condo development? Do the rich really deserve this amazing new gift from us? I don't think so.

Our local radio station was mentioned in a heated argument at the commissioners meeting.  I just wonder why certain of our elected officials are "scared" of the station.  Looks to me if you can't take the "sunshine" you better get off the rock.  They can't take the fact that all the laundry, clean or very dirty, is aired for us to hear.  People are more in tune with their local government here than many other locales. Keep up the great long standing work 104.1.

Come to think of it Bigpinekey.com is also doing a huge service to Piners and all the keys by letting us learn by talking to each other and it never (well all most never) comes to fist fights.  I understand and have actually changed some ways of my thinking by understanding more about Big Pine.  It always helps to have more information as long as you do not swallow everything as gospel. Keep on listening, reading and learning and we all may get along.

“Taste My Sauce" competition to be held at Coconuts this Sunday starting at noon.  So far I have 6 people entries.  We need more! Call me at 305 797-0474 to register.

Somebody posted yesterday that the mayor’s daughter worked for Cay Clubs. If this is true and investigation needs to be conducted to ensure that no projects the mayor votes on is presented by Cay Clubs. This makes one very suspicious concerning Cay Clubs’ bidding for the Pigeon Key ferry after the biding had closed.

[Another major storm brewing?] As a lot of us remember the big Duck Tour lawsuit that cost KW 13 plus million? I’ve heard city commissioners and the mayor of Key West are sitting on another anti-trust possible lawsuit that may well exceed that Duck case. Anyone else hear about it? I’m so tired of the crap we need to take a stand and tell them no more. I’m also curious that if they are sitting quietly on it--why?

Now it's the cats. Next it will be your yipping dogs and then the squawking parrots. Try looking beyond your own selfish interest for a change.

Phuket Gazette Thailand. ("Phuket" is a word you don't mess with.)

The Avenues also have a lot of crack addicts. Why don't you air heads worry more about that then feral Cats? 

[Kudos to the post defending the Pit Bulls]   I worked at an emergency room at Baptist Hospital in Miami and have treated many people who were attacked by pit bulls. I repeatedly heard the same line from their owners, "He/she is a gentle dog and would never hurt anyone."  Nice try, but be prepared for an unprovoked attack. Miami-Dade had the right idea banning these dangerous animals.

Microsoft will begin selling their popular Windows operating system in China and the third world for about three dollars. They fear that the developing world will start using the open source operating system Linux. MS wants people to get use to the ease of using Windows so they’ll be “hooked” on it and continue to use their products instead of the free ones. For every software program you buy there is a similar free one available online.

[Pit bulls] It’s amazing that every owner of a Pit Bull will say same thing after one attacks something or some one.  One day I walked out of my door and one attack me! It had just gotten out of jail from biting someone else two weeks prior. Believe me, bit bull owner, it was not fun. They are killers and that’s what they were bread for  The dog was put down after my attack and they now have a zero tolerance policy to any dog bites in that county.  

30+ people are dead because mental health authorities didn’t want to violate the “rights” of a nut case diagnosed as being “an imminent danger to others” by advising Virginia Tech of his background.

[I have a solution]  Let pit bulls, rotts and dobies run loose to kill all the loose cats. Sure there will be collateral damage in the form of  small kids, old people and slow people.

[I think there are those in our County government who favor big development and are selling their precious votes with the "understanding" that when they are out of office they will be given lucrative jobs as payment from those same developers] …Or their daughters.

[Don’t kill the cats] Does anyone know how long cats can tread water with a big ol' hook strapped to their side? I don’t want to waste good bait if it won’t last long enough. Maybe the smaller ones could use a tarpon bobber on them? That'll keep them kicking longer, right?

Could someone tell me what’s going on with Hawks Cay? I thought they were sold. Are they closing?

I understand Cay Club are locals who formed the corporation.  Everything is for sale including votes. That is quite evident with the Hickory House sale. That is a done deal for sure.

To the well meaning that speak of kindly raised pit bulls; let me ask you a question or two.  How many old pit bulls have you known?  I am saying 10 years and older.  How many pit bulls have you known that have passed on from old age?

I have known a few pit bulls and several that were raised under the best conditions but sadly they all met with early demises due to their irrepressible natures.  Even the ones that were raised well just couldn't help their self once they got beyond the 2 year mark and that was both the males and the females.

My dog was attacked twice by the same pit bull last year.  The owner was a stand up guy who paid the vet bill.  It was still a terrorizing situation to endure and my dog definitely exhibits post-trauma stress symptoms when around any other dogs now.  He suffered a good deal of physical pain having his outer ear canal ripped out by the pit bull who locked on and would not let go.  All the vet could do was cut if off and give antibiotics.

The pit bull walked along side of my dog long enough to lay his head over onto my dog’s neck and locked on. This was without any warning whatsoever.  No growling, nothing. I struggled to try and separate the two large dogs, beating the attacker over the head with the water bottle I had in my hand.  The owner came running and it took him about 2 solid minutes of pummeling his own dog in the head with his fists as hard as he could, before he let go--and this was not a little guy.

Dr. Cruz said that if one of us had just gotten behind the attacker and kicked him hard in the cajones, it would have been over tout suite. I wish I had thought of that at the time because I was so scared (flinching) that if I did get that dog to let go of my dog's head, the pit bull was going to take my face off. 

The next time (a few weeks later) he came running for my dog and I had some reaction time (about 2 seconds) but at least I knew what was coming. I pushed my dog against a boulder and stayed on the other side so the dog could only get to him one way (through me).  I was prepared to gouge his eyes out with my thumbs if necessary.  Thank God his owner was right behind him and snapped him up and threw him in his truck.

This man defended his dog as a great family pet and I am sure he is.  The pit bull just can't help himself. It is the nature of the beast. 

[Put a bell on cats to warn the birds]  Why don't you people go to some of the excellent web sites that have been posted on this site and read up a little about cats before making asses of yourselves with such nonsense?

So what’s the big deal about Radio Shack being allowed on Big Pine because they are only a franchise of a national chain?  Most of the fast food outlets, McDonalds, Wendy’s, Burger King, Arby's, etc. are franchise operations also.  The next time one of these takes to court it’s going to be difficult to explain why one franchise is allowed with no opposition and the new one shouldn’t be allowed.  Courts love precedent and Big Pine just set one with Radio Shack.

How would you like to be responsible for feeding this dog? Hercules was recently awarded the honorable distinction of World's Biggest Dog by Guinness World Records. Hercules is an English Mastiff who has a 38-inch neck and weighs 282 pounds. With paws the size of softballs. The three-year-old monster is far larger and heavier than his breed's standard 200 lb. limit. Hercules' owner Mr. Flynn says that Hercules' weight is natural and not induced by a bizarre diet, "I fed him normal food and he just grew…and grew…and grew.

[Dirty feet] A note to a local restaurant owners. Please pay attention to the attire that your food service employees choose to wear while serving food and beverages.  I don’t want a server at my table with teeny-bopper, low cut, hip-hugging micro-shorts and a cropped top displaying her disgusting navel piercing in front, and her tramp stamp tattoo in back, at my eye level.  And for your employees that choose not to wear shoes during off hours, I would suggest that you require them to wear shoes during their working hours instead of flip-flops or sandals that expose their unwashed feet.  I’m not suggesting a strict dress code, just a little common sense and reasonable clothing for the work place.

I'm not in favor of bringing back short term rentals, but we have had some long term rentals in our neighborhood that have been renters from hell!  One was a family and when the woman threw the man out and then she got injured in a fight and couldn't work, she had to bring in all kinds of derelicts to live there and give her a little money to live on. At any one time, there were 15 or 16 people living there making the neighbor's lives a living hell.  So it isn't just the short term renters that are awful.  We are cringing wondering who we will get next. Meanwhile, the cops did little and the landlord didn't give a damn.

Yes, the exchange rate between the U.K. and the U.S is presently near two-to-one, that doesn't mean that everything in Britain costs twice as much. When I lived in London recently, my rent was fifty pounds a week, or about $400 a month. Groceries were about half as in the U.S and a pint of beer at the pub (a whole pint, mind you) was the equivalent as $3. Sure, some things like cigarettes and gasoline were wickedly expensive and taxes were high, but it's a great trade when you consider access to free medical care, free education and a gun-free society. The reason the exchange rate is what it is is because the American dollar is worthless on the International market. The Euro, the Yen and others all compete and consistently are better investments.

Correction: The wrong chapter of The Hungarian was published yesterday. This one was supposed to appear. Following the one about the sheep pen.

[22 The Hungarian] "Take off them dirty clothes before you stink up the whole place!" That smell is etched in my memory for ever. If sheep or mutton is even mentioned around me, I still smell and taste the experience. Slowly but surely spring was arriving, the storks and swallows were returning after their winter absence. All over the village there were nesting pairs on chimney top nests. On the way to school I found violets at the base of a tree.

When I arrived at school, close to the boy’s and girl’s toilet, about twenty feet away there was a huge pit. Eight by ten feet by my estimate and four feet deep. Eszti Néni (Aunt Ester) was just squaring up the corners. She wasn't anyone’s aunt as far as I knew. She was a middle-aged woman who cleaned outhouses in the village. She wore men's clothes and you never wanted to be down wind from her. Have you ever been close to a house where a septic tank was pumped? She stank worse than that. She wasn’t kind to the eyes either, in fact she was down right ugly, had a hair lip too! She even talked funny. I thought it was because she tried to keep her nostrils closed. She had a long pole with a German helmet attached to one end that she would dip the crap from the outhouse into two large buckets. The buckets were emptied into the pit then she’d cover up the pit with dirt and marked it so that no digging would  be done there for a year. Yeah, Aunt Ester was our honey dipper. As soon as she’s finish she’d throw down her shovel and be off to the nearest Kocsma to get a stiff drink. The Saturday previous we saw a nature film about trapping animals in the wild. I talked to some of the boys and told them, "Let's throw the girls in the pit!"

My idea was received with enthusiasm. In twos or threes guys would catch a girl and threw her in the pit. Some of them landed on their feet while others climbed right out and wanted us to chase them again. All of us were having fun when the bell rang and the fun was over. I talked with the boys in class, lucky for me that Mrs. Meggyessy didn't spot me. Everyone agreed that the “animal” trapping would continue at the ten o'clock recess. At ten we poured out of the classroom with my buddies and me in the lead. Aunt Ester wasn't around and we thought that she was still at the Kocsma. That’s when I spoted Gyönösy Ibolya, and yelled at the boys to get her. She was screaming and tried to bite and kick us. I remembered that she ratted out Búcsi and me when we shot out the streetlights. I yelled, "Into the pit with her!" and they let her fly. SPLAT! SPLASH! Awful screaming followed. I looked into the pit and to my horror there was Ibolya on her back a foot deep in shit. Unbeknownst to me Aunt Ester had been filling the pit with shit for the past hour before deciding to go back to the Kocsma

The girls were not too eager to help Ibolya out of the pit as she stood up and was covered with shit. She stunk just like Aunt Ester now. With all the screaming Mrs. Meggyessy arrived on the scene and helped Ibolya out of the pit and got shit all over her hands and dress. She picked two girls to escort Ibolya home. She told us to just wait and that she’d be right back. She went home to get cleaned up too, and to change. Her apartment was at the end of the building. We had a long recess. As soon as she got back she ordered us into the classroom. I could tell she was not amused. It was so quiet that the ticking if the clock seemed loud. She picked up her stick, lightly struck her palm and asked the question, "Who's idea was it to throw the girls into the pit?” The girls answered in a chorus, "BAKA'S!" Oh, oh, I'm in deep shit now. I protested, "I didn't know there was anything in the hole ma’am. I thought it was still empty." "You come up here right now!" She was looking at me like a judge looks at a criminal before passing sentence. With her stick she motioned for me to get moving. If I knew what was going to happen next I would have ran out the door. She had two bigger guys come up front too. Both of them took part in the girl catching. She pulled the chair from her desk; it was a high backed chair with a gap between the seat and the backrest. She told me to kneel down and to stick my head in the gap. She told the two boys to hold my arms and not to let go. I snarled at them with clenched teeth, "You muthafuckers will be sorry for this!" I heard the stick whistle thru the air and when it landed on the cheeks of my butt the pain went straight to my brain and took my breath away. I wanted to scream but no sound came out. The second stroke hit and the pain was excruciating. I heard myself screaming at the two sunafabitches to turn me loose, but they held me fast. The third stroke felt as if it hit bone. I was screaming, snot, tears, and saliva was running down my face and chin. At the fourth stroke my bladder turned loose and I pissed myself. The fifth stroke I didn't even feel, my brain and butt were numb with pain telling me that it couldn't possibly hurt anymore. My ass felt like I’d been sitting on a red hot stove. When I was turned loose I went at the two bastards. They ran out of the classroom.  I was in a fog of anger, pain, and humiliation. I heard my name called from far away; it was Mrs. Meggessy calling me back.

I was more than halfway across the classroom. If in that moment I could have gotten hold of a sharp instrument I would have run her thru, repeatedly. Just then the fog lifted and she ordered me, "Come here!" I was surprised at the deathly quiet as I walked toward her nursing my butt with both hands. My cheeks ached and throbbed, spittle was still dripping from my chin and my crotch was soaked. I wished I could have grown three feet in a blink of an eye. I would’ve dragged Mrs. Meggessy out in the yard and throw her in the shit pit. I was standing an arms length from her when she looked down at me and said, "Go home and change your clothes. I looked up at her and I wanted her to see how much I hated her. I didn't care if she hit me. I told her, "When I grow up I will come back and find you and I’m going to beat the shit out of you!" She laughed at me, but no one else laughed. I could hear her laughter all the way home. Nanah was beside herself when I told her what happened. She soaked a cloth with vinegar, I removed my soaked pants, laid on my bed and Nanah spread the cloth on my butt. It was soothing, and it stopped the throbbing. One of my friends brought my backpack home and I heard him asking Nanah how I was. I didn't go to school the next day or the day after that. It was impossible to sit. I didn’t' dare complain to my parents because I heard them sanction this when I started first grade.
The Hungarian

I had a similar experience as the person who called AOL and was talking to someone in India.  I called Dell about a question on an order I had just placed.  I spoke with a woman who told me she was in India.  Next time you wonder why the unemployment tax is so high in America remember companies like Dell and AOL.

PS: The person who wouldn't hire someone because they used AOL sounds like a real penis.

All the Pit Bull comments are already getting old.  A Pit Bull can be trained to be gentle and kiss you and a poodle can be trained to bite.  It's not the dog it is the dog owner who should be put down.  If one person shoots another, who should go to jail? The gun manufacturer or the person who pulled the trigger?

"As long as one lives frugally
the luck of the house
will increase;
the animals will be safe;
no blood will be shed,
and no animal will be killed.
The cook's knife will be useless;
the table will only be set with fruits
which nature offers to us,
and one will be
satisfied with that."   --From the epistles of Basilius the Great (329-379 AD)

[Kudos to the post defending the Pit Bulls] Thanks, it is a topic that really hits home. I am tired of the animal being blamed for it all. The owners are 100% responsible for their pets, period. Congratulations to you for raising a beautiful, well trained and loved dog. If only the media would stop showing the dogs who have been raised badly and show what the breed is really about. But that would not be good for their ratings.

Funny, while thinking about all this, the only vicious dog I have ever had contact with and had to rescue and protect children and pets from was a Dalmatian that terrorized our neighborhood for months. I had to fend him off with a shovel when he pinned the neighbor's son against the house while he was walking to the bus stop. He would scale a 6 foot fence to get out and went after everyone and their pets. He even ended up in other back yards attacking pets and kids by scaling the fences to get in. Now that is scary! Not one person ever though a Dalmatian could act in that manner. It was because o the people who owned him he trained him that way. It was very sad.

[Dear local realtors] Please quit stuffing my mailbox every day with your ridiculous advertising. I don’t want to sell my house, I don’t have a need to know what a great closer you are or that you always get 80% of your client’s price. We will contact you. Maybe we need a national "Do Not Bug Me" realtor list. Every day it’s more and more nice pretty pictures of someone wanting you to sell. Knock it off.

Thanks for the soap box. Yes, 3 more came in today’s mail.

[Keys vacation cancelled due to Cat Roundup] I think that is about the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard--if it's even true.  My husband and I have been coming to the keys on vacation for years and I would never even consider sticking my nose into your wildlife problem by telling you how to handle it.  You are better off without tourists like that anyway --all they're going to do is complain.  We are coming down there in a couple of weeks and intend to spend our money at your businesses and enjoy ourselves for the two weeks we have before we have to return north.  Can anyone recommend a good dive charter?

If you see Steve Miller today, wish him a Happy Birthday!

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Friday April 20, 2007

Wednesday April 18, 2007

At my age, I'm so happy that a few things still excite me very much. Good food (I love to cook), good women (no comment) and good music. These three things make my world go round.  Along with these things comes good friends.  Monday eve a good buddy, Kevin, sent me an invite to a Jam at his home in the hills of BPK starting at dusk.

I've enjoyed these sessions before so its a got-to-be-there kind of thing. Its was supposed to be a BYO thing and I heard there were to be a bunch of kids (gods greatest invention) so, I brought several boxes of girl scout cookies--always a hit. The last jam, a few months back, the Piper Road Spring Band from White Water, Wis. were the guests and all the top pickers came and sat in. It was a big wow! Last week’s get together grew as the evening went on. it started with Terry Cassidy picking with an 11 year old young man. Little by little kids were coming out of the wood work. Oh, my god, the Doerfel Family was in the barn. Mom, Sherl and dad, Tom have the greatest bunch of children who are well behaved, personable, home educated, and pickers. Wow, they can pick with the best and they did. It was a chilly eve, but this old barn was smoking!

Pickers Terry Cassidy, Howard Livingston, Bobby D, Ron Baumann and Big Bud Green. We had three fiddle players—yes, three! Banjo, Mandolin and guitars and, I think, ten young Doerfels pickin’ ‘n agrinnin’. Add to that mom on great guitar and dad on the big bass. The youngsters kept astounding everyone by swapping instruments all evening. Even the one year old had rhythm. Additionally Ron Baumann played his harps to everyone’s delight and Mona (who plays at the Key Deer  Wed's) sang some great country. Every one of the pickers took a turn at some vocals. If I forgot anyone I’m sorry.

I clapped from beginning to end and went home tired and happy. (In fact, the best thing I do musically is clap and boy am I good at it.) If you’d like to see this wonderful family in action they'll be at the Hurricane Lounge in Marathon (bay side) Tues and Wed nights this week; then they'll be up north entertaining for the summer.

[Wakey, wakey at Venture Out]  If you live close to Venture out and don't hear anything, you should see an ear specialist. It's every Saturday morning and it's loud and obnoxious.

[The sewage treatment or lack thereof] If you ride past the plant you can certainly smell it. If you can't then see an ear, nose, specialist. Hell you may as well see the whole magilla ear, nose and throat specialist.

[BPAA Keys Cudas Swim Team] Will be registering swimmers on April 26 from 7-8 pm at Blue Heron Park.  Registration is $50. it includes membership to US Swim and team suit.  We encourage all children with some sort of swimming ability to join.  For more info call Eleanor 872-1457

If the cat was in the house where it should have been, the pit bull wouldn’t have caught it. Once a cat ventures outside it just becomes part of the food chain. I’m sure the little kitty had a few notches on its belt too.

AOL outsourced all their customer support to India.  It is interesting, to say the least, to talk to someone with a heavy Indian accent who says his name is Bruce.

Tuesday we found a white female dog in front of the Moose Lodge. She’s very friendly and clean and about 20 lbs with a black and red collar. She has poodle-like hair. Call Sherry or Jason 305-872-2299 Classified Ads > Lost and Found

Being a resident of Palm Villa myself, we heard the fireworks.  It was a celebration of life.  Being alive!  We take that for granted sometimes.  The fireworks were beautiful to watch and listen to and safety precautions were taken.  They did not last very long.  My point being: What's the big deal?  Live and let live.  It is not an every day occurrence in our area. The police realize that, why don't you?  The next time follow the sound and join the party. TV will still be there when you get home. Don't be a crank. We live in a great place; be thankful for that.  We hope our friend had a nice 40th birthday. Sorry we couldn't make the party.

I will take the hit on the "Its America, I will do what I want" comment. You are right, we do have limits on what we do with our property and how it effects others. I should have not taken that stand because it was wrong. Let me take a kinder and gentler stance: there are nice and quiet families out there that may not be able to enjoy 28 days of pleasure here in the Keys but want a house for whatever reason. How can we accommodate their needs?

Next time I will have one less drink before I unload on this site! Sorry for the ‘tude.

I suspected that yesterday's pit bull vs porcupine picture might be a fake so I went to www.snopes.com and found out that it's not fake. It even shows a second pic. Worth seeing.  Type in, "dog vs. porcupine" in the search box.

Ridding the Key Deer Preserve of feral cats is not inhumane. It is inhumane for the cats to destroy the natural habitat. The cats are loose and multiplying as a result of irresponsible people who did not neuter their animals and who failed to make sure their pets were well taken care of. When a non native population of animals threatens to disrupt the natural order of an area it is up to us to try our best, within reason, to bring the environment back into balance.  Sorry to say it but people screwed it up with their loose and un-neutered animals and the only way to fix the problem is for people to get rid of the feral cats. It is just not feasible or reasonable to try to catch them, neuter them and let them go. Come on people be reasonable.  

Today I laughed my ass off when I opened my mailbox. I received a letter from the BPK Fire Department soliciting me for funds! Boys, you should have saved the postage. The village where I live is called Dömsöd, Hungary and we don't have one single piece of fire equipment of any kind. The thatch roofs burned years ago, brick and adobe walls don't burn. I had a kitchen grease fire a year ago that I tackled that with a bag of salt. What I'm trying to say is that if they were collecting here, locally for a fire department I wouldn't give them a cracked fart!

I would like to be advised where the pit bulls are being raised so I can either avoid that place or approach it with extreme caution.  I have already had my dog attacked twice by a pit bull in the last year and have no desire to endure such a travesty again.  Talk about post-trauma stress!   

I saw a car tag the other day and after I thought for a minute...I smiled: FUN GHUL

[kindergarten homework insight from Abby...sorry, I had to let the stinky nether region question go] I have two children at Sugarloaf and have experienced the kindergarten homework.  I've also taught in this district. There is a bit of a crisis going on in public education and reputable studies point to a lack of involvement by parents as a key indicator of student failure. They're trying to establish good family patterns early on. You've learned that children change everything about your life. And yes, that guilt you're feeling is normal--all good parents have it and it never goes away. 

I have a Cop living next to me. They have a life also. Why should they cancel their planned day off for your stupid call? They need time off to. Now as far as the FWC...

I am appalled at the senseless massacre at VA. Tech. and even more appalled at the painfully slow police response. Did you see the cops on the video feeds? Most of them are fat-doughnut-munching-pigs! The gun control nuts will be coming out of the woods in droves now (Mrs. Brady and such). I don't think that there would been that many victims if some of those students could return fire. The proof is in the pudding that the police can't protect you everywhere all the time. Sometimes one is forced to deal with a situation alone. Be prepared! You never find a cop when you need one, but ignore a stop sign or make a U-turn and they come out of your trunk.

I gave my daughter a gun when she was attending school in California, her roommate found the gun and reported it. My daughter had to move off campus and the gun was confiscated by the cops. When she went to the cops to retrieve the gun they told her that she can't get it back because it was a stolen gun. That pissed me off because I bought it here from Chek John, brand new. I made a copy of the bill of sale, had it notarized and sent it to my daughter who finally got the gun back.

[Virginia Tech] I’m glad there weren’t any blacks involved otherwise we’d have to listen to Al Sharpton for another month complaining about something or other!

Can you find the kid? How does he breathe?

Not all Pit Bulls are bad. They are actually a wonderful breed, IF, they are bred and raised properly. Unfortunately many are not and that is what we see on TV. Pit Bulls are illegal in Miami-Dade because of the dogs being bred for fighting and/or to be "guard dogs". Please read the information from the Broward County Humane Society, http://www.humanebroward.com/PitBullInfoClassesatthePark1.htm. It is a very informative page from an outstanding organization.

I have personally known good and bad Pit Bulls. We have very close friends with a purebred and a Boxer/Pit mix. They live together in a home with a very small Poodle and several birds. They all get along fine. The mix watches over my toddler as if he was one of her pups and they play for hours on end. We cannot allow their dogs and ours in the same yard or their will be a huge problem. They do not react well to other animals outside of their pack on or near their property or family. They have a high prey drive and can and will go after other animals. This is why the Pit Bull owner should ensure their dog is secured as should all other animal owners.

Both of our Pits were rescued. The mix was picked up off the street after my friend’s daughter saw her thrown from a speeding car covered in scabs, open wounds and scars at only 6 months. She was a bait dog. This is why Pits get their bad name, bad breeders and owners, not the breed. She is now the sweetest most loveable dog. Lucky for her she was rescued by a loving family.

My heart goes out to the owners who lost their beloved pets to this dog, but they too have a responsibility to keep their pets safe and secure in their homes or on their property. The Pit Bull owner also is responsible for securing his dogs as well to ensure they do not get out and hurt or kill another animal or get hurt or killed themselves.

[AOL Customer Service] Anyone who is stupid enough to still use AOL deserves what they get. Maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events but AOL has been hemorrhaging customers for years. Why does anyone need a middle man to get to the internet? It is widely known that AOL users are the remedial reading class of cyber space. Recently I reviewed an applicant’s resume and although he was qualified I immediately sent it to the circular file when I saw he had an AOL email address. I'd never hire anyone so clueless.

[21 The Hungarian] On a bright and sunny day when dad was home I felt that it was the prime time for me to get out from under the yoke of the violin. It had to be a diplomatic approach. I had to present it like I was giving up something. "Dad I have something to say." "Go ahead son, I'm listening."  "Dad, I know that money is hard to come by nowadays, I would be willing to give up the violin lessons and that would be money saved" He just smiled and said, "Son, I talked with Judith and she told me that you are doing real good. The tuition isn't that much, and its money well spent. When you become a doctor it will be an asset that you can play the violin." A pain in the ass-et that’s what the violin is.  Damn, that didn't work. He is always making plans for me. I never once said that I wanted to be a doctor. He just wants me to achieve what he never could.

My father held education in high esteem because he had to go to work after the sixth grade. A high school diploma was out of his reach. In spite of this he was a smart man. I knew he wanted the best for me. He educated himself and our home was full of all kinds of books, history, the sciences, geography, he even read Homer and Newton. On the other hand I wouldn't open a book if the subject didn't interest me. School was a burden to me. I had to force feed my brain to do my school work. I will just have to come up with some kind of scheme to shit can the violin. I might have to endure a beating to do it, but I’ll do it anyway.

Saturdays, when I didn't have violin lessons, I went to the matinee with my friends. We were fed the standard fare of Russian war movies where the Russians always won. Like all boys, we too got wound up by guns, soldiers, and war. We talked it over and decided that would will play soldiers at Gergő Jóska's as soon as the weather permits. In the mean time weapons have to be made. Toy weapons of course, but they should imitate the look of the real ones. Everybody made their own creations and all of Gramps tools were at my disposal. He has tweaked my ears before for running his plane into a nail or blunting his chisel. All in all he didn't mind me using his tools. The only time he got pissed off is if I used wood that he bought for a special project. What I wanted to make was a look-alike of a German assault rifle that I now know as the MP-44. (Since then I’ve had a real one.) I just had to find a plank thick and long enough. Then I could draw the gun on the plank, cut it out with the saw and carve and paint on the details. One boy made a remarkable look alike of a Russian submachine gun the Hungarians nicknamed the Davaj Guitar, the word davay in Russian means “let's go” and the soldiers carried it like a guitar, hence the name. The proper designation is PPSh 41. For the drum shaped magazine he used the largest shoe polish can he could find, it was a masterpiece.

The first time the weather was nice and mild a bunch of us went over to Joska's house, they had a huge yard with haystacks, sheep pens, pig pens and a silo. There were hundreds of places to hide and ways to escape. Joska was a good friend who wore a brace on his left leg since I knew him. We started school together, every six or eight months his brace had to be upgraded. It never slowed him down though. He played soccer and could put the hurt on you with that brace. He was receiving treatment and was told that he would outgrow it. When I met him in 1992 he no longer had a brace and walked normally. By then he was a semi retired jet engine mechanic. My friend died of cancer less than a year after we had our first beer together.

Sides were chosen, a coin was tossed, heads Russians, tails Germans. Now the kid who made the Russian gun was in the German group so a swap had to be made. The Russians would attack and the Germans would defend. We decided to defend the sheep pens, all of us had to be hidden by the count of fifthly. I climbed up in the loft of the sheep pen (dad always told me to hold the high ground) from here I could see all the approaches and could get away before I was surrounded. The “Russians” entered our fields of fire and we opened up on them. The sounds of the weapons were made with our mouths, Ra-ta-ta-ta-te-ta, Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! They were firing back at us! Bang...bang ...bang  trrrrrrrrrrrrr! One guy was throwing ears of corn as granades, Ca..rash, BANG, “I got you, I got you, you dirty Kraut!” we would go on like that until we got tired. I was spotted at my perch. I knew if the exits were blocked I'd be captured. I ran for the ladder at the other end of the loft when the floor disappeared from under my feet. I fell thru a trap door partially covered with hay. I just had time to think “Oh, shit” and I was through it. It was like hitting a very firm soaked mattress, my face and toes arrived at the same time. I was glad to be in one piece. I fell into sheep shit and pee, the pee soaked my front and my face. The sheep shit didn't stick and I was able to brush that away with some fresh straw. The stink was something else. Joined the others and they all held their noses "God Damn Baka, what did you fall into?” The answer was obvious, "Sheep shit!" When I got home Nanah asked me, "Where in the hell have you been playing boy?" "At the sheep pens Nanah!" She said, "It wouldn't take a genius to figure that out!”

[Cat Roundup] Along with my immediate family (all five adults), we have been kicking around the sweet idea of visiting the Florida Keys for an extended vacation.  We looked forward to relaxed, sun filled days on quiet beaches, getting a feel for the adopted home of the Pulitzer and Noble Prize winner Mr. Ernest Hemingway, basking in the gorgeous sunsets and perhaps seeing and admiring the Hemingway cats.

I am writing you today to advise that we have put our plans on hold for an indefinite period of time.  Wave just learned of an impending and grossly misguided plan to eradicate the feral cats of Big Pine and No Names Key.  We, therefore, cannot and most certainly will not, spend our time and money in an environment that lacks compassion and decency and respect for living, feeling creatures.

[Overheard at a Big Pine restaurant]  “What do you think about a fast food place on Big Pine?”  “Oh, my god, we can’t have that. They’re a nasty chain store. Besides, just think of the cholesterol, the trans-fats! Oh, no we can’t have that sort of thing allowed here!” “Then what about a Dunkin Donuts?” “Oh, heavens no. They’re one of those horrible chains too. We can’t let that get started here. And think about all those sugars and the calories. People will start getting fat. No, definitely not.” “Well, what about the Radio Shack? They’re a chain store.” “Oh, well, Radio Shack. They sell hearing aid batteries don’t they?” “Yes, they do.” “Then welcome to Big Pine!”

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Wednesday April 18, 2007

Tuesday April 17, 2007

Cho Seung-Hui formerly of Virginia Tech is our newest mass murdered for us to remember. 32 dead is his new record and that record should for a while. His medal will have to be awarded posthumously because after he finished his work he shot himself too.

[Correction]  In yesterday’s comment regarding flushing fluids to combat unsavory feminine odor, the editor added “in there” to my  post.  The sentence was: "They also recommended forcing fluids, in particular, beer was recommended as a great flushing fluid.  Who knew?"

Adding the words "in there" to forcing fluids made it sound as if I were recommending douching with fluids and particularly beer and this is absolutely not the case.  I write with the firm hope that no one tried such a treatment before this retraction could be made public.  Forcing fluids means drinking them, even when you are not thirsty.  I can only imagine that douching with beer would be an invitation for extreme yeast! 

A pro short term rental poster says a number of interesting things.  First: "This is America, it's my property, I'll do what I want".  Second:  "if renters cause a problem, call the cops or call me".  Third:  He/she "needs" to rent out because of our local tax structure, and that "in a few years" he/she will move here and become an exemplary citizen of this community.  Fourth:  He/she graciously suggests that people who disagree with his/her vision of property rights are closed minded and must "get over it". Fifth: and best of all, "You need me".

Well sir, I'm over it.  I'm over surrendering the peace and quiet of my residential "hood" so that some out of town property investor can make ends meet.  I'm over calling the cops or the landlord in the middle of the night to report drunks tearing up our "hood".  Prevention beats the crap out of cure...I'm over those who can't carry their own water and demand a subsidy from the community  I'm over caring if you can pay your taxes or not.  I'm over loud mouth bullies who cry like little girls when they can't get away with breaking the law.  I'm over the "this is America" excuse for breaking American laws and pissing on their neighbors' feet.  I'm over dudes who come to the "hood" and cop a "’tude".  In the interests of civility and good taste, I think I'll just pass on the issue of the posters declaration that "You need me".  Have no doubt about it: I'm over it.

Like many others in the community, I welcome newcomers.  New comers both commercial and residential, bring new life, ideas, and diversity to our community.  Our community is a community of laws.  If you don't like a law or ordinance, do what you can to change it--others have.  That, my friend, is what being a good citizen is all about.  Every American is free to live where they wish.  If this community is not to your liking, shame on you for buying here.  Don't like it here, don't like the people, don't like the laws?  It's simple, live elsewhere.  Scofflaws are not welcome.  Get over it. 

By the way, when you move here, contact me, perhaps we can have tea.

Has anyone tried to call customer service at AOL?  I had a question about my bill and it turned out I was double billed (which they fixed).  It took me seven calls to get to someone who spoke English well enough to understand them.  When I finally got that person he told me that all the calls are routed to India.  Customer service for America On Line is sent to India.  What is going to be next?  Why don't we move The White House to Iran?

Record of Iraq War Lies will air April 25 on PBS 9:00-10:30pm on Wednesday.  David Swanson writes, "Bill Moyers has put together an amazing 90-minute video documenting the lies that the Bush administration told to sell the Iraq war to the American public, with a special focus on how the media led the charge." See the article by David Swanson at www.afterdowningstreet.org/node/21146

The Macutes in Haiti were about the same as the Mau Mau’s in Africa. Just a bunch of ignorant nuts running around with machetes chopping up the opposition.

[long, loud fireworks display] I can never bring myself to complain about fireworks.  You’ve just got to smile.

[I live in America and it is my right to do what I want with my property] That’s not totally true. Even in America, just because you own a car doesn’t mean you can drive it any way you want to.

I drove by the Cat Women twice and had to shake my head both times.  I don’t think they have a clue about how ridiculous they looked with their costumes and infantile signs.  With all of the important issues facing our community, these silly women choose to make spectacles of themselves over feral cats that nearly everyone, but them, agree are a menace to our native wildlife.  I can only hope that when they were done they all stopped somewhere for a nice glass of wine and got at least that much benefit from the day.

Saturday, my wife and I, with friends, went to Marvin Key for the day. All was beautiful except when we got back to the dock. An “Official” pick up truck pulled up as we were unloading the boat. “Got any fish or lobster in that cooler?” the water Nazi asked. “No!” I said. He looked in the cooler then went around to all the people on the dock looking into their containers. He then said, “You people sure look suspicious hanging around the dock for so long.” We were there no more than 15 minutes, unloading. He made some other strange comments as though we were criminals. I didn’t get to see his ID badge, but if I did, I would have filed a formal complaint for illegal search, moral harassment, and suggested this person be evaluated for mental problems. Things are getting bad in this country when a Fish and Game guy starts to act like an SS Trooper.

The Hungarian’s story about peeing you pants reminded me of when I was in little school and sitting at my desk stretched real big which caused me to break wind. The whole class turned to look for the source of the sound. I sat there straight-faced looking down at the feet of my desk and began moving it back and forth along the floor pretending that it was the desk that made the tell-tale sound. I think they bought it. For the rest of my life I've always been cautious when I stretched real big.

Let’s hear your favorite short term rental story.  How about the one where the renters took out some of the kitchen plumbing to smoke crack with and the next people to come in flooded the kitchen,  or the one where a neighbor called the realtor rental agent to complain about a rental and was threatened with a restraining order,  or the one where someone at a public meeting announced that the Keys were a party area and all the old people who didn't like the idea should move up north,  or the one where the renters went over to the house next door when the owners weren't there to get a better view of the sunset and left behind a pile of chicken bones.  Any more stories?

[sewage treatment plant at Venture Out] We are once again exposed to the person, with the sick anal fixation, be it turds, excrement, sewage, or what ever his sick mind can conjure. It would be a godsend if this poor soul could find help somewhere. Is there a 12 step program like poop anonymous? The individual must be experiencing a great deal of confusion and mental anguish.

[I live in America and it is my right to do what I want with my property] I’m very thankful that we can’t do what we want with our property. Imagine what the Keys would look like it we could do anything we wanted?

How come mass murders now go to school? Aren't they supposed to work at the post office?

What do off-duty cops enjoying privacy in their own homes have to do with your complaint of fireworks?  If you had a problem with fireworks, you should have picked up the phone and had an on-duty officer in uniform respond and make the people stop.  Those guys deal with enough crap at work.  Now you want them to handle your petty complaints while they're off duty too?  Instead, you thought whining about it on a website would be better.  That doesn't make much sense.

Who can’t remember someone pissing themselves in grade school. What great memories the Hungarian’s story brought back.

As far as the feral cat issue goes, I am a man and I say, “F---k those pussies!”

As some of you now know, Capt. Conch helped me set up GoodMorningKeyWest.com, where I post same-day Cock-a-doodle-doos. So it's not working for me to send daily "teasers" to the Coconut Telegraph to be posted the next day here. If you want to keep up with what I'm writing, simply go to GoodMorningKeyWest.com and look at Today's Cock-a-doodle-doo for the latest crowing. If you want to see older crowings, go to “Archives”. You might find some of the other parts of the website a bit different, too, and it's easy to comment directly, if you wish to do so. Thanks and good sailing. --Sloan Bashinsky 

Are We Safe? In February, after a three-month court battle, Indian national Mohammed Yousuf Mullawala, 28, was ordered deported for submitting false documents to authorities after his visa expired. He originally attracted attention at a truck-driving school in Smithfield, R.I., where he was allegedly curious about buying dangerous chemicals.

[Lower Matecumbe] The artist says the coral is real “grippy”

[Animal Liberation] Now some musings from a plain old hillbilly.  We have people in the world who need liberating.  There are still human slaves in the world and there are whole tribes of people being wiped out by others who are just stronger.  Could we please just get our priorities in order.  Humans first then we can start a bill of rights for the animals.  PETA should take their efforts and help humans not give or assign human rights to animals. In Genesis we are told that animals were created for the benefit of man. Adam was given the job of naming them and they were there for his enjoyment, help, and later on as a source of food.

It’s interesting that so much yesterday was about Jackie Robinson breaking the color line in major league baseball.  Don’t get me wrong, he was a heck of a ball player and a pretty brave guy to do it, but the lion’s share of the credit ought to go to Branch Rickey, the owner of the Dodgers who signed Robinson to the contract and brought him in to play.

[Paranoia, the big destroyer...] Last week we had several very nicely attired black ladies policing our upper middle class neighborhood. CPA's, attorneys, etc., you get the point. They were looking for Creole speaking persons. You want to believe them, but how could they be that dumb, unless they were here for ulterior motives?

I just finished watching a program on the BBC that a bleeding heart group put on. The controversy is about the torture of prisoners with the complicity of the USA. A Leer Jet with US registration numbers has been flying all over Europe and picking up terrorist suspects and flying them to Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, and Egypt to be tortured for information. You know, Deer Hearts, I don't give a rat’s ass! The sooner these crazy rag heads are removed from our midst, the less I have to worry about my loved ones being blown to kingdom come. I am sure these people were not picked up on a profile, but profiles are good. How much better it would have been if that INS officer followed his gut instincts and prevented Atta from boarding that airplane on September 11^th.

[I live in America and it is my right to do what I want with my property]  What decade are you living in? the last time I looked our all knowing government had pretty much wiped that out too. And if they didn't the local "Home owners Group" sure took up the slack.

[Kindergarten homework] Have you asked the teacher these questions?

[This “got miner” idiot] They got their point across rather eloquently, I may add, with no raving, cussing or trashing anyone. Now that's just not right. Who let that person on here?

Some idiots down the street are raising pit bulls. One of them jumped the fence and killed a gentle neighborhood cat and a small poodle. Is there some kind of law that prevents people from breeding these vicious dogs in a residential neighborhood?

[Chinese the new majority] Yes, but I haven't seen too many of them running across our borders or floating in on a raft with their hands out.

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Tuesday April 17, 2007