Thursday  November 30, 2006

[Note from the Humor Editor] I have an idea of what happened to make Michael Richards melt down on stage. I had performed stand-up comedy for six years before moving down here. I started out doing Open Mic Nights. I have seen more than a couple of meltdowns that ended in some of the most vile hatred being spewed back to the audience. When you're on stage and in the spotlight, you are more vulnerable than you have ever been. It only takes one heckler to trigger the inner defense mechanism that will make you dig down and find nasty, hurtful things to hurl back in return. Whether it be racial epithets, or misogynistic comments. So often it has happened. Most times, the fledgling comic has to be ushered out to his car before he could get injured. It takes restraint onstage. Restraint and a supply of witty comebacks. Comebacks are a comic's greatest weapon. They hurt the offending heckler, and doesn't make the audience recoil in horror.
Michael Richards should have tried to get more seasoned in the open-mic rooms. Stand-up is a different world than acting. On stage you are laid bare. No one to lean on. Every word of your act is what you wrote and is being judged. It's a rough gig.

Now am I endorsing his actions? Hell, no! I'm just explaining the catalyst behind it. In reality, the guy f**ked up. He didn't just toss out the "N" word... he drove it home, walked it to the threshold, and roundhouse-kicked it through the door. Gave examples like, "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f***ing fork up your ass." Bad, Kramer... BAD!

So many actors think, "Well, I can act.... so stand-up must be a cakewalk!" I've seen it... and it's always been a train wreck. At least today's open-mic comics have an example to learn from.

"At some comedy clubs they pass out comment cards. You fill it out with your name and address, and there’s a line for comments for people to put what they think. Sometimes people write negative things, and that’s not necessary. I’ve read some that say “Mitch sucks” but I look up above and it has their name and address. That’s right, I do suck, but I’ve got a lot of free time."
~Mitch Hedberg

[Government for sale] The number of lobbyist has doubled during the Bush administration. Everything is for sale in a Republican administration.

New music is hard to take unless you’ve had an extremely good experience while hearing it. I didn’t like acid rock until I took LSD. The same goes with techno music and hip-hop. I didn’t like either until I took ecstasy while partying to that type of music. I didn’t like Motown and Marvin Gay until I got laid while his album was on.

What characterizes the human race? Cruelty or the capacity to feel shame for it; or is it forgiveness?

What’s with movies where the person is driving and turns their head and has a long conversation with the passenger and never once glances at the road? Crap, I can’t even stay on the road when I am looking!

I think some of the worst wrongs were caused by the people who tried to change things. This is mostly true in government (Bush: Iraq) and business, but also applies to people’s personal actions.

We already receive Readers Digest (all old people do). So when I received my credit card statement and saw the $24.98 charge for the magazine I called to find out why I was double billed. The person said that was a gift for filling out an online survey. I said I don’t take surveys and $24.98 is no gift, gift’s are free.

I want to tell you all to be careful online. Free things aren’t.

Does anyone else’s pet have any peculiar idiosyncrasies like mine do? I shoo my kitten off the kitchen table onto the floor where she lands anywhere but on her feet and then purrs and grooms herself. I find that odd, but cute. I thought they were supposed to land on their feet. Nine lives and all that.

[African Grays are the smartest bird] I was just reading about a 29 year old bird who was raised by a professor and taught the concept of zero, identifies 50 different objects, 7 colors, 5 shapes, quantities up to six and the concepts of bigger, smaller, same, and different. I wish my wife was that smart.

While I agree with you that the “N” word is ugly and racist, why in the world do we have such a double standard in this country when it comes to racism?  Take for example ESPN’s and Ex-Cowboy Michael Irvin.  Why haven’t we heard hardly a peep about his theory’s on athletes?  If anyone but an African American had come out with this nonsense, there would be a hue and cry like you had never heard before from minority communities around this nation, the offender would be fired and banished from the public airwaves, never to be heard from again…As was Jimmy the Greek for saying basically the same thing.http://www.sportsline.com/columns/story/9822797

[No habla Español] Is there anyone out there, who would be interested in giving private Spanish lessons?

Day 2 of The Great Terro Puddle Test on middle size ants. It looks like there are just as many ants as yesterday's puddle that was licked clean by their little ant tongues.

Captain Dan is going to start serving breakfast tomorrow. That’s good news. We need more breakfast places. During season you can’t even get into any of the places that serve breakfast because they’re all too busy.

If you followed the suggested poker run itinerary for the poker run next year, you forgot the last step.  Number 6 would be: Get D.U.I. 

Christmas Turkey Recipe 

1 whole turkey
1 large lemon, cut into halves
sprig of rosemary
salt and pepper to taste
butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer

Heat oven to 350 degrees

Rub butter or oil over the skin of the turkey until it is completely
coated. 
Sprinkle with salt and pepper and any other seasonings you prefer.
Take a knife and gently separate the skin from the breast meat; 
Slide  lemon  halves  under  the  skin  with  the  peel  side  up, one on
each side.  This way the  juice from the lemon will release into the
breasts
Place sprig of rosemary into the turkey.

Cover and bake for 30-45 minutes.   Remove cover and continue
to roast until juices run clear, basting every 15-20 minutes

If you've followed these steps correctly, your chicken/turkey should 
look like the one in the picture.

Bon Appetit! & Merry Christmas

One Six Right: The Romance of Flying :: An Aviation Documentary Film about General Aviation and the Passion and Romance of Fl..

You cannot drive in the dark without lights!

I come from the part of planet Earth where I feel political correctness does not have to be applied in defending yourself.  In Michael Richards' case, he was angered by a black heckler calling him a Cracker.  Of course, that part was not shown.  If it's not "racial," there's no story.

[The Grinch from Jersey] I have been out of town since September.  I just got back last night.  Does anyone know what is going on with the Post Office and the God awful lights pretending to be Christmas lights?  I almost ran off the road I was so blinded.  I thought a UFO was landing.  Somebody needs to tell the Post Master the definition of "Moderation".  This is a traffic hazzard.

[Sea Fox Boats] Check into Sea Pro. We have great boats.

There is a public hearing scheduled on whether to ban sailboats (and other vessels with masts) from anchoring in the area between Big Pine and Little Torch (Pine Channel) on the south side of US1.  The purpose of the ban is to reduce the incidence of masts vs. power lines and the resulting power outages.  The meeting will be held at the Marriott Key Largo on Dec 6-7.

When purchasing a boat there are some things to think about. First, what will I be using this boat for? What kind of speed and fuel economy am I looking for? Lastly and most importantly how much am I willing to spend?

If you plan on fishing and family boating in the Keys, center consoles are the way to go. The new center consoles also have heads in the consol which make them even more family friendly. Cuddies are nice if you plan to spend nights on the boat, but in the Keys it is too hot in the summer to sleep in a cabin with out a/c. In the winter it is rougher making it harder to plan trips to the Tortugas or Marquises for the weekend.

Next, is speed and fuel economy most of the time this is a trade-off.  Fast boats normally don’t get the same mpg as a more economically powered boat. If you underpowered a boat, however, you will be running higher rpms which will lower the life of the engine and will also use more fuel. Everyone seems to have their own brand loyalty when it comes to engines. I like the new Mercury Optis. They are a good blend of speed, economy and dependability. Then there is the price. Just like every thing else you get what you pay for.

Used boats are also something to look into. One thing nice about fiberglass is it lasts a long time and is easily repairable. Older Grady Whites, Wahoo’s, Makos, and Whalers are great older boats. Whalers do pound but are very dry.  Just look for stress cracks that catch your finger nail, soft floors, and transom. Just bring along a good fiberglass guy to check it out with you--it will be worth it. What worries me the most about buying used boats is the engine. The newer Whalers have a different hull design, but I believe are still descent boats. One of the guys that built Whalers split and is now making, I believe, Edgewater’s. McKee Crafts, Everglades, are also good boats.

You seem to be looking at a boat around 21 or 22 feet. There are also cheaper boats to look at like Anglers and Prolines. I have ridden in many Anglers from 17 to 22 feet and they ride nice and are ok boats. They also make walk-arounds. SeeVees, Whitewaters, Blue Waters, Jupiter’s, and Ventures are also good boats. I love the lines of the Ventures. There are a ton of boats out there, take your time and look around. Don”t rush into buying a boat! What are you looking for and what to do in your boat should be carefully thought about?

A personality quiz for potential CIA agents. CIA. The Work of a Nation. The Center of Intelligence. Myths about CIA.

[Billy's mom has affair with psychologist and ultimately leaves town in disgrace] Obviously this story didn't take place in Big Pine.

Are people getting bored with this site?   There’s not too much input lately.

[leader of India] That whole post should have embarrassed you.

[Au Con traire] To the one who speaks of the term Coon Ass, you know of not what you speak. Coon Ass is a term of endearment to Coon Ass(es). Cajun is a contraction of Acadian, referring to those who settled in Louisiana after being booted out of Nova Scotia for their religious choosing and then settled in Louisiana; of which most lived in the southwest portion of Louisiana, around Lafayette and Lake Charles (Guyedon, Carencro, Broussard, Opelousas, Rayne) .

Coon Asses are a sort of colloquial encompassing most who live in South Louisiana, specifically the Bayou Country – below Baton Rouge, some would say below Hwy 90.

Louisiana, like Florida has its Southern Folks and Northern Folks. North being redneck, the south being heathens – two clearly different breeds of cats; as someone who grew up there, both in South Louisiana and North Louisiana, it certainly Tabasco(ed) my schizophrenia.

Raised by Hard-shell Baptist parents from North Louisiana, while being born and raised right-out-side of New Orleans, in a predominately (95%) Catholic South and then being told I couldn’t fraternize with those heathens who became my best friends and then 19 years later I married one (Catholic). Then, after attending Sunday School, Training Union, Prayer Meetings and every Revival that rolled into town I agreed to raise my only child as Catholic; I developed a great fondness for Louisiana.

However, there ain’t enough horses in Texas to drag my ass back there now. The Keys are the greatest place in the world for me. Its cultural diversity of residents and people who choose to live here make it the best.

Let’s give a Big Key’s welcome to the Key West Key Lime Pie Company. They are our newest advertiser and a welcomed addition to the ‘hood. I went into their new store in the W/D Plaza (next to the pawn shop) and felt good vibes. I just had to buy a couple of their Key Lime Pie Bars. They are big slices of pie on a stick and then dipped in chocolate and frozen. Man, are they good. Good luck to Jim and Allison. (-Ed)

Thanks for the link to  www.mckinleyandbeggs.com  My order is in the mail. This band is great. I still don't know why all my searching didn't bring this up?  Or I just missed it. I appreciate the link and I'm sure others do also.

[What is going on at Edie’s Hallmark store]  I hear that it’s going to be a combination veterinarian’s office and a taxidermy studio.  No matter how things go, you’ll get your pet back.

When most people buy a boat for the first time they really want a Winnebago with a hull. They want a cabin although they’ll probably never use it.

Is there any truth to the rumor that Trent and Kelly are going to start running Breakfast service at Rob's?  Please say it's so!  I for one will be sure to check it out.  Rumor has it that they plan to start up in a couple of weeks.  Anyone else hear anything?  Trent is a gifted cook and Kelly is a super server.  What a way to start the day!

I didn’t know I had attention deficit disorder complex or motor vocal syndrome. I found my old report cards from grade school 40 years ago and all I see marked in comments by teacher is I talked too much and had ants in my pants.

[The Iguana killers are back!] I have found that a live iguana decoy works great for attracting more of the nasty evil pests into pellet gun range. First I stun a live one with two metal plates on the dock separated by a rubber welcome mat. The bottom plate is much larger than the top one. I attach one leg of the 110 volt power cord to the bottom and one to the top, bait the top with fresh melon, sit back and watch the dancing iguanas. When one gets effectively stunned, I use the power staple gun and 3/4" staples to attach all four legs and tail to the dock in my prime shooting spot. I usually get five or six before one of the large predatory birds swoop down for an afternoon snack. The ones that I shoot work great for baiting my stone crab traps. My weekly catch has increased 20% since I switched from pig feet to iguana for bait.

[Cheap vacation] Looking where he can put a tent up in a yard? Get real. The Keys have changed. It’s time to up the ante and pay $35 bucks for a campground, dude.

Why are all these people so outraged by Michael Richards?  Maybe his words were out of line and a bit classless but he is a comedian, an actor.  Controversy sells.  Look at Broke Back Mountain.  The movie sucked, but was a box office hit because it had gay cowboys.  Anna Nicole Smith, she is a talentless, classless bimbo, but is a TV star.  Victoria Gotti, she is dumber than Anna Nicole, but made millions on TV because her father was a gangster. 

Michael Richards will be crying all the way to the bank.  The more people who get upset about this; the more money he will make.  The more demonstrations Jessie Jackson starts over this the more money he will make.  If the colored people are upset about his comment they should go see Bill Cosby perform and not Michael Richards.

Back in the ‘70s the late Carl Sagan told my X-wife that the Florida Keys would be under water by 2000 because of global warming. Now Al Gore is starting on the same baloney. 6,000 years ago the Keys were under water, but not caused by man. Just like Hurricanes there are cycles in weather.

[sunny vacation this winter] Cheap place in the Key's? Under Cow Key Channel Bridge, maybe?

[Slice of Paradise] I know the people who work there and they always give me a slice. You know what they say, “It's who ya know!”

That's it. I'm going off to college. After looking at collegehumor.com I realized that these kids are having way too much fun. It wasn't like that when I was a kid. If you are a parent and are paying your kid's college tuition, you may find this shocking. Just don't click on the R-Rated section.

Being yanked away from established conventions is precisely what happens to people, once they are "abducted" by the Unknowable…while some hollering and struggling is allowed (humored), it doesn't seem to change anything…Sloan's Space

This is cool. You get a planetarium of your local night sky right on your computer.  Stellarium

[Immigration] Wow! Teddy Roosevelt was 100 years ahead of his time.

In the black community, the rate is about 67% for babies with single mothers. Well Duh! When you figure the mother can get about $500 a month from various state and federal agencies. Why would she want to marry "my baby’s daddy"?

Dolphin Research Center on Grassy Key has a newborn calf.  My wife and I went to see it over the weekend. She says it's adorable, and I'd have to agree.

Thursday  November 30, 2006

Wednesday November 29, 2006

Hurray, the Democrats are not going to appoint Alcee Hastings as intelligence chairman. Hastings, was the first federal black judge in Florida and had been accused in a FBI sting for soliciting a $150,000 bribe in return for a less severe sentence for two men convicted of racketeering. The guy’s a crook and only escaped conviction due to good lawyering on his part.

Terro ant liquid can be squirted anyplace ants are marching. You don’t need the little cardboard squares that come in the box. The ants will remove any trace of the liquid.

[Michael (Kramer) Richards’ racial tirade] All you get to see is his rant on-line, it sure would be nice to see what lead up to this melt down. Something else must have occurred to have caused this. Most people explode like this after some provocation.

I want to thank all of you for the input on the Sea Fox boat I was thinking of buying. After hearing from you all I am going to pass on it.

I’m going to go with a Boston Whaler. They say it comes with its own chiropractor. I here also they hold there dollar value real well; and a good boat too.

If you haven’t seen Inconvenient Truth (Al Gore’s wonderful movie), rent it now. Looks like the Keys will be underwater soon. Time to write to Congress.

Using the "N" word doesn't make you a racist? Are you kidding me? What freakin' planet do you live on? Michael Richards had no right to do what he did. I don't care how pissed off he was. He should have ignored the two bozos who were heckling him. Comedians get heckled all the time. It comes with the territory. I can understand him heckling back, but not the way he did it. There was no excuse for what he did. What the hell was he thinking? Add Michael Richards to the growing list of Celebrity and political assholes, like Mel Gibson, To Cruise, Mark Foley and that "Macaca" guy from Virginia, the former Senator Allen. Sorry, I forgot his first name.

I want to take a moment and thank Big Pine Key Tree Service and the very nice man who changed my tire today (11/28/06) at Paradise Gas station. You are a true gentleman and we very much appreciated the help!  As he said, when he refused my offer to buy lunch, its what people should do. Well Said!

Go to www.mckinleyandbeggs.com  for the CD Too Many Horses. I just received mine in the mail from them. I Love their songs! I can hardly wait till their back at Boondocks.

[No pizza slices] It’s called A Slice of Paradise which it is. Some people will go out of their way to find something to complain about. Have you noticed that?

I thought I knew a lot about iguanas, but after reading this webpage, I realize I didn’t know jack. It has descriptions, photos, killing methods, and price per pound. Wow! http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/IN528

My wife and I are in need of a sunny vacation this winter. (we are in) For many years, as a kid, I came with my folks to the Keys (Marathon and Islamorada mostly). We need to find a cheap place to stay for a few days. Can you recommend a place ? We would not be opposed to throwing up a tent if it's in a safe place were we could get a shower. Any ideas?

[Out of wedlock births] In the black community, the rate is about 67% for babies with single mothers.

Reported on 104.1 Radio is that mortgage companies are allowing loans to be written without wind insurance.  The mass exodus out of the Keys has slowed a lot with that one short sentence.  So the poor writer who said if the government had stayed out of it in the beginning looks more correct than the know it all!  God! I've been down here long enough to regress!

Does anybody know if the Kingdom Hall is going to sell Christmas trees this year or not? Or if they are going to collect toy's, for Toy's for Tot's?

[What a difference 50 years makes]  Just think how far we have gone down hill as a society in that short amount of time.  Consider this scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a spanking.

1953 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and is shuffled from home to home until he finally runs away and joins a street gang. Billy's sister is convinced by a state psychologist that she was also abused and their Dad goes to prison.  Billy’s sister is also placed in foster care where she is actually abused. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist and ultimately leaves town in disgrace.

Injade might be a good band, but I just can't get past their Mullets.

[Theodore Roosevelt's ideas on Immigrants and being an American in 1907] "In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates him/her self to us, he/she shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man/woman because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man/woman who says he/she is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language ... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

How come no one knows the name of the leader of India? It’s one of the largest, most populous and most powerful countries in the world and most people don’t know a thing about their government. I was in Deli buying opium in a medieval former palace and ended up sitting with a group of men, the leader of whom, was sort of interviewing me. I was not answering his questions as well as I usually can, but when he asked me if I followed politics I jumped at the chance to enter a discussion as his equal. His first question was what I thought of India’s Prime Minister. I replied something like, "Duh, I dunno, duh." I didn’t know if they had a president or a prime minister or what. I knew absolutely nothing about India’s government. I was very embarrassed.

(?)What did you say to the clerk?  Did you answer, "She'll have to get a divorce from me first!" That's not funny.

Wednesday November 29, 2006

Tuesday November 28, 2006

"Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year." --Victor Borge

37% of all new births in America are single mothers. So why are we worried about gay marriage?

Political correctness has already led to the demise of free speech.

That was a good letter defending “Kramer’s” use of the n word. I saw Kramer’s tirade and it was terrible. I think if the thoughtful writer had witnessed the tirade he would have formed a different opinion. It was pure venom.

Wanted: Single Woman. Must have integrity and morals...apparently my wife has neither. You know you might be in Big Pine Rotation if:
1) Your wife shows up with her boyfriend when you're filing for divorce.
2) And the clerk offers them a marriage license.

Does anyone know where the name of the subdivision Doctors Arm came from?

[Mr Richards is trying to get his career back]  Too bad there are no wacky neighbor positions available on TV. No one should care what he says, it only gives it merit which isn’t warranted.

An investigative reporter for Channel 7 News in Detroit, did a story on generic drug price gouging by pharmacies. He found in his investigation, that some of these generic drugs were marked up as much as 3,000% or more. Yes, that's not a typo.....three thousand percent! So often, we blame the drug companies for the high cost of drugs, and usually rightfully so. But in this case, the fault clearly lies with the pharmacies themselves.

Celebrex: 100 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $130.27
Cost of general active ingredients: $ 0.60
Percent markup: 21,712%

Claritin: 1 0 mg
Consumer Price (100 tablets): $215.17
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.71
Percent markup: 30,306%

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction... The chain reaction of evil -- hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the darkness of annihilation . . ."--Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Sloan's Space

Michael (Kramer) Richards’ racial tirade did accomplish one thing—everyone knows his real name now.

[ABATE Toy Run] What a super day for all of us on our annual toy run. I want to thank each one of you for being there, supporting our Keys’ kids as you did, and making this 2006 ride a huge success!

Please think about a poker run/dinner ride combined in Jan for all of us. Profits to go to American Cancer Society of the Keys.
Five stops would be:
1 pick up poker sheet and first card.  drinks
2 get second card and soup and drinks
3 get third card and salads and drinks
4 get fourth card, a simple dinner and drinks
5 get last card and dessert

Maybe $30 per person to eat, and get one poker hand?  I need feedback and ideas!  LoveDkeys@aol.com

I have just finished reading the book, Heavy Wait, a Strange Tale by Sloan Bashinsky. Yes a very strange adventure with Riley, Marylou, and Willa Sue. This is a 222 page must read by Sloan, a local Fl Keys writer, here in Little Torch Key.  5 thumbs up. Thanks Sloan.

Income for other than the rich will continue to decrease as long as the country is full of illegal immigrants willing to work for nothing.  The downward pressure on wages as a result of this group is substantial.

What is going on at Edies Hallmark store?  I see it is being renovated. Someone thought it was going to be a junior size sex store!

Slices of Paradise Pizza. Have no slices. What's up with that? False Advertising at it's finest.

I don't know how everybody else feels about it, but to me I think Hispanic people in this country, legally or illegally, made a huge public relations mistake with their recent demonstrations.

I don't blame anybody in the world for wanting to come to the United States of America, as it is a truly wonderful place.  
But when the first thing you do when you set foot on American soil is illegal it is flat out wrong and I don't care how many lala land left heads come out of the woodwork and start trying to give me sensitivity lessons.

On Friday December 1st, Injade brings their fun energy and great rockin' tunes to the Looe Key Tiki Bar on US1 on Ramrod Key MM 27 1/2 Showtime 7pm. For more information call 305-872-2215.

Rick and Helen should look into buying CoCos Cantina At WD shopping center (if it's still for sale).

To find Elmo go to www.elmotracker.com  or  www.tmxtracker.com

Dear Friends of Big Pine Key,
We are just now getting settled since the November 4th Cancer Benefit held at Coconuts Lounge in Big Pine Key. We extend our deepest gratitude to the entire Big Pine Key community, especially the following friends and businesses for making this benefit such great success:

Jeff Calhoun, Michelle Dravis, Joe and Meri-Lynn Britz and the staff at Coconuts Lounge, Bruce and Judy from Rogers Furniture, Dixie and Bob Henkel, everyone at the Charter School and everyone who helped with the kids, Big Pine Coffee Shop, Parrotdise Restaurant, Slice of Paradise Pizza, crazy Sue and Trudy, Kristi Hutton, Billie for all her help.  And all of our musician friends:  Jason LoGrande (performed and provided sound equipment and engineering), Brian Roberts, Adrienne, Tim Burke, The Moon Dogs, and Michelle Dravis. We further thank Steve Miller (master of ceremonies), everyone who helped with selling tickets, Becky from Ginger Snips for haircuts and CynDee from CynDee's Snip & Sip Hair Saloon for donating the use of her shop, the Chamber of Commerce, John Etmanchzek's "Honey Pots", Pepsi and Coca-Cola, Bluewaters' Stage and Mike for moving it, Capt. Dan and Key Deer Grill, Gayle and Ed Whittaker, Steve Estes and everyone at the Barometer, Ed and Pop Dunn & Josh and friends and the Moose Lodge for the Burger Wagon and Max from Max’s Tire ... thanks for getting us road ready!  We thank any and all friends, vendors, businesses and artists who donated items, time, effort and/or monies to this successful event. We love you all for everything you’ve done. Please forgive us if we have failed to mention anyone here.

Since Zanny’s recurrence of Ewing’s Sarcoma, needless to say the past 2 years have been extremely difficult, both financially and emotionally. Ewing’s Sarcoma is an extremely rare bone cancer, seldom found in adults. Due to the complex nature of this disease, we have been unable to reside in the Florida Keys, as Zanny’s medical condition is followed very closely by a team of specialists, some of whom are known worldwide in this area of oncology. Although we are unable to be there physically, our hearts continue to linger behind.

The community of Big Pine Key is such a caring and generous one, we are more than proud to be a part of it. The love and support from each and every one of you has made a tremendous impact on our lives.

We look forward to the day when we can reunite with all of you, play some music and celebrate being cancer-free. We only ask that you continue to believe that this day will come, as we know that it will. Thank you for opening up your hearts to us.

We are forever grateful, Will and Zanny Parker

[Assaulting, harassing, donut eaters?]  Wow!  Someone just needs to pay their speeding ticket and get on with their life.

Tuesday November 28, 2006

Monday November 27, 2006

It's amazing that the person complaining about the "Mourners" at a local restaurant knew all about them with one exception -- who there were.

30+ locals who go there every Friday night surly don't make up the restaurants complete income.

Could be the selfishness came from your own table (or stool) since this "show" as you put it, only lasted one night.  Is it possible that the 30+ locals every Friday could bother others in some way?

How do you know the establishment wasn't called or how many people actually gave tips to the two who gave tips that you saw? Or if the restaurant lost money?  Why didn't you ask to be moved to another table away from the mourners?

Rude is complaining about one mourning another.  How did they get the mike away from the band -- steal it?  Did the band member complain? You have 51 Fridays but couldn't give them one? Be very ashamed.

Richard’s from the Seinfeld show made one mistake, he apologized. Just because someone used a slang term to tick a person off does not make that person a racist. Blacks call themselves that word and call white people, Spanish people and Jewish people slang terms. All people use nasty words calling someone the n word or calling someone the f word is done for the same reason to tick that person off. When someone ticks you off real bad you think of the worse thing you can that will tick that person off. And if it is a black person that ticks you off and you want to tick him off back call him the n word. Your actions not your words are what make you a racist. “I have more respect for a man that lets me know where he stands even if he’s wrong then one that comes up as an angle but is nothing but a devil.”

I am curious what those black people said to Richards to tick him off so much. They probably called him the c word. We have freedom of speech and also the responsibilities that come with it. Political correctness is going to lead to the demise of free speech. What Richards said is not even that bad. He might have an anger problem but just calling two people the n word does not make you a racist. But one thing people need to do is lighten up and pull what ever is up their ass out.

People need to quit being so sensitive.  Leave it to the media and a bunch of power hungry blacks to make a mountain out of a mole hill. The black leaders are the problem they keep their own people down so they can stay in power. The black leaders should be focused on the dirty cops we have in our mist that murder innocent black people and get away with it. Not some lousy comic. That was probably Richard’s best act to date.

State of Emergency:  “Peace quiet and good order will be maintained in our cities to the best of our abilities. Rocks malaise and disturbances of the peace are against the interest of all our people and therefore cannot be permitted.”

What beat cops are good for: assault, harassment, eating lots of donuts, eating free food from fast food restaurants, taking away your rights.
What beet cops aren’t good for: preventing crimes, catching criminals, solving crimes, finding the truth.

Some might say you don’t have to worry unless you commit a crime, think again. To protect and Serve? I think To Persecute and Subjugate.

[Orange Christmas Truck] It seems that Mike has the orange truck up and running again, just in time for the Christmas season. But he sure could use some help with the cost of the lights and fuel for the two generators. Keep your eye out for white cans with the trucks picture; popping up all around, there is one at Fanti seafood store already, on Cudjoe Key.

Lawrence Roach of Seminole, Fla., complained that the $1,200 monthly alimony payments he has been making to his ex-wife should end, now that she has undergone a sex-change. Said Roach, "I'm a man, and I don't want to be paying alimony to a man." (Legal experts were pessimistic about his chances.)

I have a friend who wants to learn to play and pluck a 5 string banjo.  Any suggestions?

[Previous owners of Sea Fox] I bought a 2005 23 Ft. Sea Fox center console with a 200 Hp. Mercury, new in 2004. I will also advise you to not buy any boat from Legacy Fisherman Boat sales in Dania. I almost got all the options that we had agreed would be on the boat when delivered for the price negotiated, but it was a long frustrating fight.
 

The boat is no Contender, but has served its purpose for me. Having run it in both salt and fresh waters for two years, I have not found any hull or deck cracks or crazing. The wiring does leave a lot to be desired and I completely rewired the gauge dash panel. Sea Fox warrants the hull for life and claims there is no wood in the transom or hull. With all gear aboard and half full of fuel I can get 45 to 48 MPH in salt water.

There is another Sea Fox dealer in Venice, on the West Coast, not sure of the name. 

Saturday was the first day in years that I was able to sleep in until noon.  Before you buy your little piece of Paradise, check it on the weekends, as they are bucketheads who make much noise with their wretched country music, diesel trucks, lawn mowers and blowers.  Many of the noise makers are retired and could (but don't) show some consideration for those of us who are up and out throughout the week.  Sunscreen is another good thing unless you want to look hardened like the locals, who look much older than the arrest log birth date.  The last thing about life down here is there is very little crime watch.  It is similar to New York / Jersey, where you just mind your own business while neighbors get rolled over and the Police take thirty minutes to get to the call. 

I would love to purchase the CD, Too Many Horses, by McKinley and Beggs and have searched every site I can think of and can hardly find these guys on the Internet?  Does anyone know where you can buy this CD?

[Iraqageddon]  Several nights ago, my young woman friend, Brenda, who is like a daughter to me, dreamt that she went to Washington, D.C. and met with President Bush and told him that he needed to stop this war, because something really bad was going to happen if he didn’t . . . Sloan's Space

Monday November 27, 2006

Sunday November 26, 2006

Unbelievable that Dixie Speher wants to hire a communication officer because she doesn’t think the community is "getting" her development agenda.  That is bureaucracy run rampant and at our expense.

We get it! We don’t like it! We don’t want it! Please don’t spend our precious tax dollars to brainwash others.   

Dixie must think the populace is stupid. How insulting.  Not as stupid as jumping on every development bandwagon without thought. It must be very lonely now that 1/3 of the triumvirate is gone.

Late Friday afternoon a group of mourners showed up unannounced at Mangrove Mamas and took over the outdoor sitting. They set pictures of the deceased and flowers down on a table. The Mike and Possum Show (country) was about to begin. They quickly destroyed the ambiance of the Friday happy hour gathering and the usual 30+ locals who attend regularly promptly left. Then as the alcohol took effect, two used the band mike to mourn their loss, screaming that we should listen-up.

Not one of us regulars at the watering-hole recognized the deceased or the rest of them. Only two tipped the band. Mamas and the band lost money that they would have made on the Friday Thanksgiving weekend.

Whoever arranged this is rude. They ruined a nice evening for many in their selfish grief. I have unfortunately attended a few memorial services at Mamas. We call them first and they make arrangements to separate us from the tourists and others that are there enjoying life. It is sad that someone passed, but it would be polite to call the establishment first.

Whoever is born here is a Conch. It doesn’t matter where your parents are from unless they're from Jersey.

How often the cat box needs changing will vary with different cats.  If you wait too long they will use another spot, probably where you really don't want it, so you are taking a risk by pushing the limit.  Best guesstimethod is to get your nose way closer than you'd like to his facility.  If you don't like it, he won't either, and his sense of smell is much more sensitive than yours.  Oh, by the way, he's going to get much more 'productive' over the next year, before tapering off to normal daily output, so you'll get lots of practice.

Sure the economy is doing well in general, but just who is doing so well. 53% of all this years income gains have been the richest 1% of Americans. Average incomes last year for working people fell for the third straight year in a row by $3000 (adjusted for inflation). This is another area where Bush is out of touch.

The Sea Fox is an excellent boat.  However, their dealer is not.   I believe the only dealer around is Legacy in Dania.  Take this advise.  Avoid that place at all costs.  If you can buy the boat elsewhere, do it.  Legacy will not live up to a single guarantee they give you.  Trust me, I had a horrible buying experience there.  If you order the boat now, you may have it by summer.

Coonass is a controversial term in the Cajun lexicon: to some Cajuns it is regarded as the supreme ethnic slur, meaning ignorant and backwards.

Proof that marriage exists in the animal kingdom.

Sea Fox is a cheaper kind of boat from the fiberglass to electrical wiring that’s why it is affordable. The quality of craftsman ship in a Sea Fox is good enough. It’s not an Intrepid or a Contender, but it also does not carry that kind of price tag, which is a good thing. The only problem I see with the rig is the 150 four stroke. To me that boat is underpowered. I bet the top speed is only around 40 with a 25 mph cruise pushing 4500 rpms. But those numbers might be fine for you. Suzuki's four strokes are good motors I ran twin 250s before without a problem and good fuel economy. In my opinion you need at least a 200 on a boat like that with a cuddy cabin.

Hopefully someone will post back who has the exact same rig. Just make sure the boat will do what you want it to do then you will be happy.  Hope this helps, not confuses.

A friend of mine lost a set of Keys in Key West on Simonton Street.  Just putting a feeler out to see if anyone may know anything. 

The Sea Fox is one of the most cheaply constructed boats on the market.  The fiberglass hull is very thin compared to other marine manufacturers of near shore boats.  Take a ride on one and watch the sides flex while pounding through the waves.  I don't think a Sea Fox will hold up well in the long run and will become a throw away boat after a few years of use.

You’ve got to love Neil Young.  Vote Smart. http://www.neilyoung.com/lwwtoday/index.html (It’s the second screen down)

I have had cats for 60 years and have never had a litter box that smelled.  I scoop the solids out as soon as possible (put them in a plastic container and throw them out with the trash, so that litter won't get into your septic system) and I scoop the liquids out and throw it out with the trash too.  Once a week, I take the litter box outside and wash it with the hose and soapy water.  You can put the same litter back in the box, since you have been scooping everything out of it and gradually replacing it with clean litter.  Works for me!

[This is what Big Pine TV should have done to make the boring shot of the pines more interesting] Hey, it's not too late!  Maybe fake snow for Christmas, fog for Halloween, confetti for Mardi Gras?  Endless possibilities!

Just wondering if anyone out there has found a grey and black Motorola cell phone in the past few days.  If so please call 305-481-1541. A reward is being offered. 

[boat called "Sea Fox"] You might look at the web site hulltruth.com they have discussions on just about everything to do with boats. I looked at Sea Fox, but they seemed too flimsy for my needs; not enough fiberglass in the hull. Pound on the side of one with your fist and you will see what I mean.

An amazing breakthrough in web sites where you can actually smell.   Scratch & Sniff

[Citizens Property Insurance Corp wants to know how they can provide the best possible service to us] A little packet of lube with the bill maybe?

The public is invited to provide input at a hearing on the business practices of Citizens Property Insurance Corporation (CPIC) Florida Insurance Commissioner Kevin McCarty and U.S. Representative Ileana Ros-Lehtinen will provide comment and listen to consumer input at the meeting. Representatives from FIRM, Fair Insurance Rates in Monroe, will provide input as well.

Monday, November 27, 2006 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. at the Westin Key West (formerly the Hilton Hotel) Hotel, 245 Front Street, Key West, Florida. Bulletin Board

I saw the recipe for the pumpkin pancakes and it sounds good.  I will try them on Christmas morning as soon as I see what I get for Christmas. Recipes

[Long winded politics] The New Media Journal | December 7, 2008 by Raymond S. Kraft

[How guys shop] After spending the day shopping in Key West, I can’t believe all the good looking woman working in the stores everywhere. What a little piece of heaven!

Ask about our blow dry.

[Hard-working Brits] A man whose job is to paint white lines in the street made more than twice the average annual British wage, and a city light bulb-changer was paid at about the same rate. And in October, London's Daily Mail profiled Keith Jackson, 57, an engineer for the AquaTec Coatings company in Wales, whose occupation for the last 30 years has been watching paint dry (to gauge its application time). He said the job pays "fairly well" but "can be stressful."

Born and raised in Key West = Conch

I got a kick of this and it is pretty informative.  I never knew this process could take this much time! How Pregnancy Happens

[Powerball winner] I resent that remark. I've got a simple mind and I'd know as soon as I read the numbers.

[Gambian Rats] Make them illegal to have on your property like a fine pot plant; then the doughnut munchers can obtain warrants for a suspected property.

Sunday November 26, 2006

Saturday November 25, 2006

[Powerball winner] I’ll guarantee that if you go to that Wal-Mart in two weeks, after the fact that she won $200 million, she won’t be there. It takes a while for simple minds to realize that they’re rich.

I’m new to the cat business and want to know how often I should change the cat box? The beast is 4 months old and the litter box is two inches deep. I can shovel it out forever with the nifty ventilated scoop. But I know there’s a limit.

Ed Swift wrote a good letter to the Citizen against the tracking system that the government is demanding that all commercial fishermen install on their boats. I think that is the first time I’ve seen Mr Swift write about anything that didn’t improve his station in life. Kudos Mr Swift.

Citizens Property Insurance Corp is holding a public hearing on November 27 from 7-9pm at the Westin hotel at 245 Front St in Old Town KW. They want to know how they can provide the best possible service to us. Is this a joke?

Coon-ass is a term used for true Cajuns and they do not mind it a bit. It’s almost a term of endearment to them.

If your kids are born and raised here, but you were not, are the kids considered Conchs?  If no, then what?

[Sloan’s Space] Seahorse Thanksgiving. I said at last night's meeting here at Seahorse that it is common knowledge on the County Commission that Boca Developers received encouragement from County Commissioner Murray Nelson and State Legislator Ken Sorenson, that if Boca purchased Seahorse and Rowels, the needed county commissioner votes could be gotten for Boca to develop both properties…Sloan’s Space

Commissioner Dixie Spehar is not satisfied with the County’s public relations officer because he doesn’t promote her unpopular agenda; so now she wants to spend more of our money and hire her own PR person to promote her positions. How much longer do we have to put up with her?

Poon-tang is black slang for Fuzzy Fish or that part of a woman's anatomy that babies come out of.

Garden Bubble Cam  This is what Big Pine TV should have done to make the boring shot of the pines more interesting.

[Gambian Rats] You are obviously very frustrated with this problem so I will not ride you about the Eminent Domain rant. But you do bring up a good point. If these rats get to the mainland they could wreak havoc on the sugar and other agricultural industries. So the best idea to solve two problems with one stone is to capture these rats alive give the cats back to their owners and let the rats loose on the sugar plantations. Then we all win. The environment, the rats, the cats, and the nuts. The ex farmers can get newly created environmental jobs to get rid of the rats before they threaten the newly established wet lands. But wait, what about the Everglades! Shoot, I thought I just solved all the problems plaguing South Florida.

For the person who asked what the Air Force does.  The Air Force helps protect your freedoms and rights, what else do you need to know?  And for your information, in every engagement since Vietnam, the majority of aircraft flown dropping bombs and shooting bullets has been Air Force, with Navy in second.  And who do you think flew in the supplies the ground pounders and everyone else used?  Yeah, Air Force Transport Planes. 

And who do you think flies most of the soldiers over to where they needed to go?  Yeah, Air Force again.  In this age, almost every branch of the armed forces has about the same capabilities, but the Air Force has got them all. Of aircraft, we do everything with them.  Other branches have them, but not anywhere near the numbers the Air Force does.  But that's not all the Air Force does, from airspace surveillance to space surveillance to rescue of downed pilots and cornered marines to supplying in air refuelers for aircraft making the journey across the pond to Afghanistan.  Standing 12 hour watches watching for ICBM's, fighting the war on drugs, watching the skies for homeland defense.  The Air Force does it.  If you don't believe me, go to www.af.mil and look for yourself.

I have a question for any owners or past owners of a boat called "Sea Fox". I am looking to buy a 2007 216 walk around with a Suzuki 150 4 stroke. Looking for any feed back from my fellow experts in the Keys. I would like to know thumbs up or thumbs down and any other comments you would like to make.

"Big Pine Key Florida is the closest you can get to Heaven" --Captain Eddie.  RIP with much love.

Saturday November 25, 2006

Friday November 24, 2006

Now some woman wants to put the kibosh on the eradication of the Gambian pouch rat on Grassy Key! After all the work that's already been done, all of the money that's already been spent, all of the success that's already been accomplished. This bozo, a Nancy something or other, has a feral cat that she feeds and claims that even though the traps are impossible for cats to enter, a rat may pull some of the poisoned peanut butter out where the cat could get at it. So she is refusing to give permission for the trappers to come onto her property to finish up the remaining rat eradication that has been underway for over a year now.

The remaining rats are depending on houses to get water, so the only rats left are on private property. This person is probably feeding and watering the rats along with her "outdoor" cat. The government should take her property under eminent domain and continue getting rid of this exotic pest before it gets to the mainland and destroys the agricultural industry and much of the economy that surrounds this huge industry. One person should not be allowed to pose such a danger to the public. If you think iguanas are a problem, wait until this pest gets established!

We tried the Pumpkin Pancakes and you were right. They were the best pancakes I ever had. We’re going to cook them again on Christmas morning and start a holiday tradition.

Friday Funnies (abbreviated). Once there was this important businessman who screwed around with his secretary. Well, one day she finds out she's pregnant. She tells him, and he says, "You've got to leave this city. If my wife finds out, I'm dead!" Then he adds, "When you have the baby, call my house and regardless of who answers, say, 'Sauerkraut'!" The secretary agrees and leaves town that day. About nine months later, the man comes home and his wife says to him, "I got the weirdest phone call today! Some woman called and said "Sauerkraut! Sauerkraut! Sauerkraut! Two with weenies, one without!"

What is with the picture of the two deer in the upper right hand corner on the Home page? A mistake or just to see if people are paying attention or do we win a prize for noticing it and letting you know. I grew up on a farm so no big surprise for me.

[I’m thankful that your pets can't testify against you]  If they could, there would be an huge influx of lawyers into Alabama and Mississippi.

There is a difference between supporting Bush and doing what was necessary to defeat Kerry.  I would do it again even knowing the problems that we now face.

“Poon-tang”  Is OK, but they don't like "coon-ass"

Howard Livingston wants to be the new Buffett, but he is older then Buffett and his music is not good until you have had a few. And then it’s not much better!

Happy Thanksgiving. Very good pancake recipe. Having Zambuka and coffee. No company today. Peace and love.

Beautiful blonde pole dancer.

I kind of wonder about this.  If you live in the Keys, you could be called a “Keyster”.  For some reason that just doesn't sound right to  me, but most of the people posting on this site seem to fit the description pretty well.

Redneck camera-phone.

I lived in Big Pine from '80-'82 while at Marathon High school. I’ve been visiting your site for a couple of months now and I guess the picture of the Deer on your home page hasn't offended too many so I guess it is acceptable. Well I hope you don't mind this photo a friend of mine sent to me, titled: Why women move to Florida!

Friday November 24, 2006

Thanksgiving November 23, 2006

Does anyone have any good iguana recopies for Thanksgiving? I am thankful for this squash from our garden, which cost about $75 to grow.

Miniature Men.  Who invented Napoleon Syndrome and why does it always seem to be right?  It's one thing to be fat and unattractive, that could possibly be changed, but to live life as a man under five feet is probably not a happy experience, what with, having to look way up to just about everyone and to talk real loud.  Another reason to quit smoking:  it stunts your physical and emotional growth. 

I'm thankful for women who love short, cheap, egomaniacal guys.

Doesn't anyone recognize MP as part of the former owners of the HOM?  He's the smart one who got out from under the ruin of the business.  He's now back to give it another go and I assume, recover some money.  All I see is good happening to the place and we should all wish him well.  You go, Mark, and stand tall through any rough weather.

Thank you, dear Lord, for this good life and forgive us if we do not enjoy it enough.

Oh, no! It’s raining in New York City this morning. Will the Macy’s Parade happen? It’s been continuous since 1973. What will I watch on Thanksgiving morning if not the parade?

I’m thankful That your pets can't testify against you.

[Rabid Republican who would vote for Bush again]  That is the scariest comment I have ever seen on this forum.  You must have an awful lot of sand in your hair.

I’m surprised that there are still so many Bush supporters speaking up.

America, love it or leave it? I do love America, but I sure wish I lived somewhere else. Has anyone recently tried to leave America? It's practically impossible. Almost all foreign countries have stricter immigration laws than we do. As an American, I was denied entry to 3 different European countries for a lack of visa. Most visas for residency cost more than $1000. In all, I have spent more than $10,000 trying to immigrate, only to remain stuck here. I have been jailed, fined and deported trying to leave America. And every time I returned, there was suspicion as to my U.S. citizenship where I was detained, searched, and scrutinized as to why I was overseas at all. I feel like a man without a country. Love it or leave it? Just try to do either.

[About the UN] I think some of Saddam's old palaces are still vacant. Location, location, location!  That should inspire some reforms.

Happy Thanksgiving all you Big Opiner Keysers!

"Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not
coincidence." - Erma Bombeck

Attention: Aliens are coming to abduct all the good looking and sexy people. You will be safe; I'm just emailing to say goodbye.

May your stuffing be tasty,
may your turkey be plump,
may your potatoes 'n gravy
have nary a lump.
may your yams be delicious,
may your pies take the prize,
may your thanksgiving dinner
stay off of your thighs.
gobble til you wobble....
and in all
and for all things
Give Thanks.

What happens if we don’t pay the national debt? Do the Japanese come and repossess us? If we forget about the debt us Democrats won’t have to raise taxes.

I like the thermometer on my trucks mirror. Now I can tell if I’m cold.

They say Muslims are not violent. From what I’ve seen, when they do get violent, they sure do it better than everyone else.

“Love Comes Easy” I think is the name of Howard Livingston’s new song. I heard it on the radio and it was real good. Can Howard be the new Buffett?

The other day my friend showed me his new camera-phone. He had pictures of his girlfriend in all sorts of nude and provocative poses. I realized I need to get one of these, I could do so much and have a lot of fun with one of these. So I'm now checking on-line dating.

Is the Ebonics term “poon-tang” a dirty word to Black-Americans?

What does the Air Force do except fly bombers? Every engagement I’ve ever seen since Vietnam has been Navy fliers, I think.

Thursday November 23, 2006

Wednesday  November 22, 2006

Kennedy was killed November 22, 1963 where were you? I was in the Army refinishing furniture when I thought someone said that Kennedy was in the next room. I rushed to the next room only to find the workers were mostly in shock and many of them were crying. It seemed, for the next three days, the nation stood still.

I am really glad I voted for Sloan especially after learning he donated the cash to try and help Seahorse. That’s the kind of eccentric people who use there resources to help others in need. That’s the kind of people who moved here and lived here more abundantly than they do now. Who the hell cares what the man dreams. Just be glad he is honest and caring. Sloan, run for Dixie’s seat and you’ll get my vote…again.

Saturday, November 25 Join us at the Looe Key Tiki Bar on Ramrod Key (7:00 PM downbeat) for evening of concert fun with Mile Marker 24 Band. You’ll also get the chance to hear some of our new tunes. Come on out and party with us! The Johnson outboard blender has now been overhauled, including a new paint job, (Thanks to John the Lawnmower Man) and we’d love to serve you up one of her famous margaritas.

I'm looking for people to play chess with, we then can agree on where to play. I have a nice wooden board and stone pieces at my home, and a portable tournament-size roll-out chess mat with portable pieces. I'm not all that good a player, but really like the game and am trying to improve. (305) 407-4285 

Dixie Speahar's rationale on waterfront has as much substance as the childrens' rhyme "Hickory, Dickory, Dock..."

This accident happened in Istanbul, Turkey. Both drivers were women and they weren't sure exactly how the accident occurred. 

I have had great experiences with two local contractors who have done work on my home.

Quality Screening and Aluminum recently enclosed my porch with screen and railing. In addition, they installed all new aluminum railing around my decks and on my stairs. There work was done professionally, in a timely manner and for a reasonable price. In addition, Blue Water Plumbing recently came to my home and did some work and again, the work was done professionally and for a reasonable price. The employees were courteous, fun and professional. 

The best thing about both of these contractors was, they showed up when they said they would show up. No delays, no B.S., they said they would be there on certain days and lo and behold, they were there. If you are ever in need of some screening or aluminum work or need a good plumber, I highly recommend you use either of these fine contractors. And for the record, I am not related to them, I do not work for them and I do not have any economic interest in their businesses. I just believe that good work deserves recognition.

Spanking right wing hypocrites? Why? They would more than likely enjoy it!

I use the same security software Ed recommended and I use it with AOL, so don't let their dire warnings put you off.  First, go to the uninstall programs feature of Windows and uninstall AOL's security stuff.  They are very proprietary and restrictive and don't do the job anyway.  Once you get rid of that, install the new stuff and everything will click along just fine, faster than with AOL's diluted-McAfee-plus-other-stuff versions.

Tis the Season… for Strolling! “