Friday March 31, 2006

John from True Value is not moving away in June.  I don't know how you get off talking about people whom you know nothing of.  And to the other poster from yesterday who says John has an agenda to sell to Publix, where have you been?  That deal fell through almost six months ago. It was in the papers and everything. It was even printed here.  Do some research you two before you start typing.

Q: How do you leave the Keys with a small fortune? A: Arrive with a large one.

Goodbye, Danno. You will be missed. Rest easy, my friend.

Is the IKC a qualified charity?  I would donate to help eradicate the Iguanas if I can deduct it from my taxes.  Then they should start on the Key Deer.  If they got rid of the deer I would not have to drive so slow through Big Pine.

I think at least one (and probably the only one) of the iguana shooters is trying very hard to sound macho. From the fire-power described, I would think they were getting ready to invade Cuba. The only thing is, unlike iguanas, the Cubans would fight back. 

“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?”--Homer Simpson

[Living comfortably off snowbirds] I'm a carpenter. The snowbirds' houses are here all year.

[In regards to the Winn Dixie on BP]  I have been trying to be open-minded about the store until last night.  The regular checkouts were about three deep and there was no one at the self-checkouts, so I opted for them.  After several bouts with the "please remove the un-scanned item from the bag audio, it finally required assistance from a store employee.  I mentioned that the scale didn't like my small bags of potato chips.  He glanced briefly at the screen and remarked that he didn't see any bags of chips on the list.  I showed him where they were on the screen and asked if he would like for me to leave the store.  He replied that he had not accused me of anything.  Right.  I told him if I was going to steal anything it would certainly be more than an 88 cent bag of chips.  What a way to prove you want customers!  I can buy milk and bread at Dions and do the rest of my shopping in Marathon or KW.  So long W/D it's been an awful experience.

[Swamp ape sighting] We caught another picture last night of whatever that is back in the gravel area's of Big Pine. We can't get close enough to get a good picture, the flash scares it off.

W/D has removed the 10 items or less lane that they had recently reinstated.

Iguana’s are always in season.  It is always open season on Varmints.  The only limit is no high powered rifles.  You do need to have a valid hunting license.  There is no bag limit.  You can get tags from Newman's Outfitters or Jiggs.  Bows are good but they do not always give you that first shot kill; then you have to chase them into the water or mangroves and hack them up with your knife or machete.  Guns with silencers work best.  Hunting on a moonless night using night vision is the best and with the silencers you can pick them off peoples' porches and they never know.

No one has to bag their own groceries at W/D that is the job of the cashier. It is nice when  the customer offers to do it themselves  and the cashier should be thankful that you are doing it. The cashier is not allowed to refuse to bag. It is their job to do so.

I have been thinking about all of the endangered species here and have realized that no one has been worrying about endangered intestinal parasites. I believe that we should deliberately infect ourselves with these parasites in order to make sure that they do not become extinct. Imagine how proud you’ll be when you can loudly proclaim while in church or in Winn Dixie, “I have worms.” This can be the new mantra of all greenies.

I was in a bar the other night and overheard a couple of people talking about a chupacabra siting in the lower Keys. I am not sure what that is, but from what they were saying, it sounded real nasty.

[Learn from the master himself]  I have never read anything more funny in my life.  The man knows so little about guitar that the only thing you could learn is that there is no one as empty as a person who is so full of himself.

True Value lets-pave-paradise-and-put-in-a-parking-lot John, was pushing for BPK incorporation not to long ago when it got shot down. I am not sure he would have the best interest of the residents of Big Pine if he were a Commissioner.

Boy, do I ever agree with the person daring the so-called Iguana Killer Club to come into their neighborhood.  They (the IKC) better not come around my house, hunting iguanas, or anything else, for that matter.  Do these idiots know that hunting is illegal in this county?  Show up around my neighborhood, and you might become the hunted.  Most of my neighbors are like me, and don't mind the iguanas that frequent our yards, as we had the intelligence and insight to plant the proper plants that they generally don't eat.

When the hell is somebody going to come up with the bright idea of having some sort of fast food on this island. We call (?)BFE, Taco Bell. Please.

Just an observation from a man's point of view:  When a women constantly refers to her boyfriend or husband as brilliant, men immediately know that the guy is a superb con artist and lies through his teeth. Only the woman hasn't yet figured it out, but she will.

What is the point of "I have something to say", if when I have something to say, I never see what I have to say. I'm a little puzzled. Help!

News Flash: Thursday afternoon during Happy Hour at Coconuts Bar, it was reported by a very reliable source, that a miracle occurred! The women present outnumbered the men 8 to 6, and all of the women had all their own teeth!   Further reports about the men's dental capacity was very sketchy, as many could only open their mouths enough to empty a beer bottle.

What's up with the tourist stopping in the middle of Key Deer Blvd in the dark with the brights on and the kids on the road looking at white tail deer? Ohio tag. Maybe we should start watching out for the tourist on Key Deer Blvd and not the whitetails.

W/D. Remember Wilma? W/D was the first to open. To bad the Marathon and Key West shoppers had to come to BPK to shop. W/D. Getting better all the time.

Duh! Classic Carpet does all of Home Depot's installations.

To the biker who posted the message for the bad woman driver from California. Well said. Very well said. Your post was quite thoughtful and to the point. I don't ride a motorcycle myself, but I have seen some drivers treat bikers very badly on the road. You are generally a good group of drivers, and if you could just install good mufflers, the public's perception of you would get a huge improvement.

To the 19-year-old BPK kid who stole a truck then passed me on the right shoulder on the bridge between Sunshine Key and Bahia Honda, caused an accident then left the scene on foot.  I hope the lady in the van you crushed will be okay.  My kids are shaken and can't stop talking about how scary it was with all the cars going every which way.  They watched you swerving and smashing into the van and into the guard rails on both sides of the bridge.  They keep asking if you will be alright; innocently oblivious to the fact that you could have killed them today.  You are a selfish, dangerous idiot.  I'm assuming you'll have plenty of time to think in jail.  I hope you find yourself.  If not, I hope you weed yourself from the gene pool immediately upon release.  I know your name and face and I can't wait to see your mug shot tomorrow in the arrest record.  Your parents must be so ashamed.   

BPK Funny Fridays. Now with minty flavor crystals!

You ever know anybody that bounced a check to pay a bounced check? Yeah, that was me. But what about those fools that let you pay a bounced check with a check? They deserve not to get paid.
~Herb Clark

I like fishing, but I don't have any patience. So I use an aquarium.
~Craig Scharf

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
~Rita Rudner

I get winded when I use a rotary phone
~Jonathan Katz

There's debate now on whether pilots should carry guns. On the one hand, the skies would be safer. On the other hand, guns and alcohol don't mix.
~Conan O'Brien

PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, are against eating meat. "They say, "Don't eat anything that has a face." My standards are a little more relaxed. I won't eat anything with a job.
~Nosmo King
 

Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
~George Carlin

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
~Steven Wright

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat... that's bad for you.
~Tommy Smothers

You ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
~John Mendoza

I saw a product in the market, Mr. Salty Pretzels. Isn't that nerve? Everything nowadays is low-salt or salt-free. Here's a guy, "The hell with that: Mr. Salty Pretzels!" Like Mr. Tar and Nicotine Cigarettes... Mr. Gristle and Hard Artery Beefsteak.
~Bill Maher

The NFL cheerleaders are gorgeous and sexy, but are their cheers helping anybody? Ever see a player interviewed after the game say, "We were down pretty big in the fourth quarter, but then the cheerleaders started chanting, 'Defense!' That's when it dawned on the coach, 'Them gals are right!'"
~Gary Gulman

New York City hotels have free condoms in the rooms. All these years I've been using the free shower cap.
~David Letterman

It would be kinda embarrassing trying to explain what an appetizer is to someone from a starving country, though. "Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food... No, no... you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food."
~Jim Gaffigan

I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"
~Jim Gaffigan

I can't believe we got grades in gym class, I've never used anything I learned in there. "All right, I'm standing in front of a room full of strangers, based on what I learned in gym class, I will throw a red ball at a fat guy."
~Jim Gaffigan

New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.
~Emo Phillips

Milk Bone dog biscuit commercials showed dogs being ashamed of their bad breath. Those were realistic. I think if my dog was concerned about his breath, he'd stop eating his own vomit.
~Drake Sather

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: 'Mankind'. Basically, it's made up of two separate words: 'mank' and 'ind'. What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and so is mankind.
~Jack Handey

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
~Jack Handey

I said to the bartender "Suprise me." He pulled out a naked picture of my wife.
~Rodney Dangerfield

There should be a detective show called "Johnny Monkey," because every week you could have a guy say "I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY," but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that.
~Jack Handey

I went into a deli and got an egg sandwich and a hot chocolate. And then I went outside and I had to get a cab, so I had to put up one of hands. But I already started eating my sandwich; I took it out of the bag, I was impatient. So my choice was hold up an egg sandwich or hold up a hot chocolate to get a car. So I chose the hot chocolate. And I put it up there and no cab stopped and I realized it was because I looked like I was toasting traffic. Standing on the street, 'Here's to you guys, to everybody heading west, I just wanna say I like what you do... but one of you needs to stop, pick me up.'
~Demetri Martin

I'm not a card carrying member of the IKC but I want to be.  The other day a large Iguana was getting ready to do a squat on my dock and since my air rifle was upstairs I had to grab a rake and rap him over the head.  He ran only about ten feet and stopped so I beat him again.  He's lucky I didn't kill him and throw him in the canal.  Even though I didn't finish him off this time I still want to join IKC since I have a very good kill ratio with my rifle.  I also need a club tee shirt if anyone knows where to purchase one.

[motorcyclist who posted a ladies license tag Get a life. We locals put up with people jumping in front of us everyday, and stopping without warning, etc. For you to report her means you must be one of those road rage people since it was on your mind all day and you could not wait to publish it.]

Hi, It's that time again, April Fools Day. FloridaKeysTreasures.com will once again post some fun stories with a Keys flavor. Last years stories about "Sharks Driven Insane by Navy Sonar" and others were the biggest success yet for this annual feature.

You are being provided a sneak preview of these pages. If you find any stories that you would like to mention on your site, feel free to link to them. There is nothing offensive but they do poke fun at some well know Keys personalities.

The stories include Katrina spawning giant lobster, Key West drunks helping to payoff the City's court judgments, Iguana Flu and more.

http://www.floridakeystreasures.com/april2006/

Dear Village Idiot, It's funny that you said, "We Locals put up with..." because I'm a full time  Big Piner.  I put up with lizards, Win Dixie, Hurricanes, that incredibly  cute guy from Jackson Hewitt, illegal immigrants, snow birds, Key Deer, Key  Cats, broken links to this website, traffic, floods, government, chickens,  tourists at No Name and skunk ape sightings just like everyone else.  One thing, however, I'd rather not put up with is bad motorcycle etiquette.  I hope my post made a few people more aware of the two wheeled vehicles on the road and maybe, just maybe, everyone will be a little bit safer.

I figured that since I gave a partial plate number from California that people like you might stick up for the local guy when it comes to out-of-towners putting the islanders who live here in danger.  I want everyone that read your response to remember it, each and every time a  motorcyclist gets hurt or dies on US 1.  I'm not planning on responding to any more of your comments; just know that when tragedy strikes, I'll be posting "Thanks Village Idiot!" with a link to the incident because you told  me to, "Get a life."

These women don't even know how to spell classy! This is real funny.
Redneck Women

Friday March 31, 2006

Thursday March 30, 2006

What's all this fuss over snowbirds? I really don't care where my neighbors are from. I just want them to be good neighbors. Snowbirds, Conchs, Americans, Europeans, Africans, Latin Americans, Middle Easterners, retirees, young people, long-timers, or newly arrived, married, single, gay; it really doesn't matter to me. If you're friendly, quiet, keep an attractive home and property, and don't cause trouble in the neighborhood I will welcome you with open arms. I don't care how long you've been here or how "local" you are, just don't be a loud drunk. I don't care how rich you are here or up North, just treat me and the neighbors with respect and expect same in return from the rest of the neighborhood.

A fundraiser for Jason Cadwell who has brain cancer will be held at the Vineyard Church (100 County Rd) Friday from 5-9 pm For more info call 305-942-9192.
Bulletin Board

John from True Value is tired of the Keys and moving away in June. Why does anybody want a county commissioner who doesn't want to live here anymore? How would that benefit us here? Stop asking for something ridiculous for goodness sake!

Free computer class this Saturday at the Senior Center from 10am-noon. Be there or be square. For more info  Betz 872-2656 betzzz@bellsouth.net Bulletin Board

Cookies are cleared and going gangbusters! Goodness this website is like a drug. And a very good one. Thanks Ed.

Friends and I went to House of Music for drinks and a late lunch.  The sandwiches were excellent as were the very plump and just right chicken wings.  It looks like they are really trying hard to fix up and make things right.  The odor problem has been solved and the bathrooms are being remodeled.  The bartender, formerly of the place next door, was busy with a nearly full bar but the service was quite prompt.  It’s not fine dining but it’s local, friendly, funky and the food is good.  I’ll go back for wings and brews!

The guy at Jackson Hewitt dumped the girlfriend because she lied to him. Go get him ladies. He's a great catch!

To chime in about our neighborhood grocery store, I think W/D is doing a fine job. An occasional bad head of lettuce and having to wait in line for 20 minutes on a Sunday afternoon are two pretty common occurrences at all grocery stores. I'm just thankful that we have W/D just a few minutes drive away from most of our homes. It sure beats having to drive to Key West or Marathon in order to buy a gallon of milk.

[Thursday Funnies] Quotes from Groucho I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

How can I join the IKC?  I want to do my civic duty.

[12 million illegal immigrants. Let's deal with them as fellow human beings.]  Bull!  Let’s deal with them by rounding them up like the unskilled, under educated illegal law breakers they are and throwing their welfare sucking asses back where they came from (including their 12 kids). Give them short notice to go home and make it a felony to remain illegally with severe penalties if they don’t accept deportation.  If some one wants to immigrate here legally according to our laws and immigration guidelines fine, but, come here illegally and face apprehension, detention and deportation immediately.

A word for the fuzz. I'm not a cop and couldn't imagine having that job. It seems there's ninety-nine bad comments for every one good. I have a few cop-friends; former cops I should say, (retired). They are super nice guys. Some men do become cops because of the "badge complex". The majority of police officers who wanted the job to genuinely protect and serve the public keep an eye on that type of cop. They are dangerous and give fellow officers a bad reputation. 

Whatever your opinion I wish you could have been on the scene two years ago up in Lake Worth, FL. An 8 year old girl was missing. Town cops and county deputies swung into action. One of the officers happened to be alert enough to look into a construction dumpster not far from the girl's home. He heard a small cry. Someone had beaten the little girl almost to death and placed her into the dumpster. They then piled heavy concrete rubble on her, hoping she'd suffocate.

The Lake Worth officer saw her. He immediately jumped into the dumpster while hollering for help. Soon three other fellow officers were on the scene, throwing concrete for all they were worth. They dug the little girl out in the nick of time. As she was placed into the ambulance it was still touch and go. Filthy and bleeding, with tear-stained faces, the officers had done all they could.

 
Later when it was known the little girl would survive and recover, the officers were interviewed as to what happened. Some one asked, "What did you think when you heard the little girl would live?" The officer answered "That's what makes the job worthwhile." Most cops don't want to make your life harder by giving you a ticket. They have to live too, and they are not paid nearly what they're worth. Try to look at them in a different light.

["Critical Concern" maneuvering]   I wonder if there are any lobbyists involved with this issue and if there are, who are they representing?

Is there a bow season for Iguanas?  Do I need a special permit?  This really sounds like fun.  I can't wait to go the next IKC meeting. Do they offer a lifetime membership?

Does the IKC (Iguana Killer Club) have T shirts? I would love to buy one.

Classic Carpet came to my rescue!  On March 11 I went to Home Depot to purchase carpet for a spare bedroom.  I chose an in-stock carpet hoping to have the carpet installed quicker.    I have family visiting on March 29 and I thought I would have plenty of time.  It took 13 days (3/24) for Home Depot's guys to come out to measure (this was after I called to find out where they were).  The man told me I would know in 48 hours what the total cost would be.  Here it is Wednesday 3/28 and I am still waiting.

On Monday 3/26 I went to Classic Carpet and told them of my predicament.  Linda and the guys at Classic Carpet were very helpful and they installed my carpet the next day.  I even like the in-stock carpet Classic had better than the in-stock carpet at Home Depot.  Thank you Linda and the Classic Carpet guys!

I would not mess with the IKC.  My cousin is a member; they are all about 11 short of a dozen.  One guy has some LAW rockets he brought home from Nam.  These guys are better armed than most small countries.  They are all ex-military and have fully auto M-16s, Grenade launchers, 50 Cal semi and fully auto rifles.  They make bombs for fun and love to blow up things.  They have military vehicles and bullet proof vests and they use silencers.  That is why you never hear the gun fire.  I avoid them like the plague.  I called the FBI about them but I think they are connected to some big wheels because the investigation was shut down before it was started.  They may be CIA or mercenaries, all I know is they are f***ing crazy dangerous people.  Good thing they are good guys because I would not want them looking for me.

[Old Bag refused to bag] So it's you that is holding up my line. I try to get behind a man in line. Men always bag, don't use coupons, don't write checks and are out of there faster than women; especially old women.

Keep up the good work BP W/D.   I must applaud the ladies who work in the aisles; they are most helpful an courteous. Best of all they speak English. 

True Value John is the man to do it. Look how hard he works now.

Does anyone else see something wrong with these two headlines, as juxtaposed next to each other on the Washington Post site today?
"Abramoff Sentenced to Nearly 6 Years in Prison Disgraced former lobbyist at center of corruption scandal gets the  minimum sentence allowed for his role in a Florida fraud case."

John True Value and Rosie Dell are great.  Let's get them to run for the commissioners' seats.

I took my little iggies sightseeing to Big Pine Key last weekend. They have read so much about your local native population of their cousins and where very excited. While showing them some of your Key Deer there was a loud car backfire and I dropped them. They instantly scattered in all directions. I hope they are able to find each other and stay together in a colony. There were 3 males George 1, George 2 and George 3 and 3 females Georgina 1, Georgina 2 and Madonna (she has always been a bit horny). If any of you wonderful Piners see them I would appreciate any news and photos would be great. I have attached a family photo that was taken last year to help you identify them. They look much the same now except they are all about 3 feet long now.

John/True Value has the agenda of selling his property to Publix.  That's not usually a good reason to elect someone to office.

Snowbirds have enabled you to live here all these years in the style you always wanted?  How is it possible to work only 3, 4 or even 5 months out of the year (for snowbirds) and live here comfortably when most folks have to work 2 jobs 12 months out of the year just to get by?  What exactly do you do for the snowbirds? Is it legal?

We couldn't find a bowling for Iguanas game, but this bowling for pelicans game is almost as good.  You just wait for the cat's head to get in a position and you "click", hoping for a strike the score will accumulate. You'll have to click the "continue" button when it asks. http://upchucky.com/games/hairball-bowling.html

[Kudos and Whiners NOT FOUND] Clearing your cache won't help as much as going to the new file name.  Try this one: http://bigpinekey.com/Pages/kudos_and_whiners_frames_.htm

After a year long study, researchers have determined why all men have two hands.

Regarding the person who refuses to do their own bagging of groceries at W/D. It is quite obvious you may have limitations, as you stated in your note, I agree with you there should be a rule or perhaps a law that would eliminate such inhumane practices. You are totally within your right to complain as this is a huge issue.

Ed, what are the new submission rules?  They have obviously changed.  How about letting us know so we don't waste time submitting posts that will end  up in the recycle bin.  Or maybe we could just move some of our discussions to Yahoo groups, if they're not suitable for this site.

To the motorcyclist who posted a ladies license tag on here because they had a problem.  Get a life. We locals put up with people jumping in front of us everyday, and stopping without warning, etc. For you to report her means you must be one of those road rage people since it was on your mind all day and you could not wait to publish it.

Bookmark this site. It might come in handy for some of our snowbirds while they're not here. http://www.tragicsolutions.com/

[Amanda and Ryan] How is St. Thomas? We hope you're having a great time.

Thursday March 30, 2006

Wednesday March 29, 2006

[Habitat field] Actually they were going to let the Habitat home owners association decide what type of park to put in that field, but Habitat for Humanity (Bill Lowey) donated it to Monroe county and that is who is allowing the trailers.  The Habitat landing residence (like everyone else) never heard anything about that property until construction started.  That field will continue to flood, glad I won't have to deal with it.  Keep making those noise complaints.     

Ed, Whoever you are, I love you but I'm not so sure about telling someone to lighten up for being offended by the allusion to Auschwitz. Its sort of like telling a dead baby joke to people you know lost a child. Maybe it's just one of those things you don't touch.  Finally, a woopsie (in my opinion).  And all this time I thought you were perfect like the rest of us. Thanks again for doing this job.

[Will not bag] Nobody is telling you to get behind me at Winn Dixie.  Maybe I am much slower bagging than you are.  I have limitations to a certain degree.  Just because we live in a slower type community, doesn't mean that we should accept such poor service.  Whether it be service in a place to eat, or fresh meat in a grocery, we shouldn't put up with substandard practices. 

That pet cremation picture was tacky. There was just no need for it. I know you apologized for it, Ed, and I hope it was just a faux pas on your part. I have no use for religion, but that was just wrong.  Regarding the "if money is the route of all evil, then why do churches beg for it?" I don't know who posted that, but good point.

[IKC Update] IKC has just about cleaned out the Iguanas in the canals we patrol. We are requesting input on nuisance areas from residents, let us know where the Iguanas are nesting and pooping their cement-like excrement.  We are meeting this weekend for a real blood bath Iguana slaughter, let us know ASAP and we will include your neighborhood.  The clubhouse needs more room for all the tails.  Jif got 20 last weekend--a new IKC record.  Membership is open, come and join in the murderous joy of eliminating rodents from our beautiful Keys.  Award banquet is next weekend for dinner and trophies.  Top Iguana Killer trophy is still up for grabs as well as biggest Iguana, longest tail, cleanest head shot and bloodiest kill.  Long distance Iguana shoot will commence after banquet, winner take all.

True Value John should consider running for County commissioner.  This is a time for somebody like John, who has had an interest in Big Pine for over 35 years,  not a snowbird politician like Nugent, who is only thinking about his political career .  We need somebody that will clean up the ugly highway mess.  Let the property owners tear down all those ugly falling-down buildings and build new up-to-date buildings, get the county to landscape the highway, fix the traffic situation at Ships Way and many other places around town. We need affordable housing.  If we don't get housing for our workers  we will be importing workers from all over the country, then you will see how bad things will be.  Let's petition  John to run for county commissioner!

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. --WC Fields

Iguanas.  The other white meat

I don't know who this low life scum is that keeps bringing up the IKC (Iguana Killer Club), but I hope you come around my neighborhood looking for iguanas.  You'll be staring down the barrel of my gun, and your tail might be hanging up in my club house for all to see.  Maybe I should start an Iguana Killer-Killer Club.

Camera poles are hindrance not a help. I agree some are very close to the road edge. God forbid they kill a mangrove tree to properly locate them. While swerving home from the bar, if I hit one of those things FL DOT will certainly hear from my attorney. So the road is closed. What are the options? Route 95, 295 or 287? No. There is only one road and it’s closed! We don’t need expensive ugly cameras to tell us we aren’t going anywhere for a while.

Tuesday Lobsang Rampa published "The Third Eye" in the 50's. I read it in the late 60's during the LSD days. I was very influenced by that book as was a whole subculture. It still is the most widely read book about Tibet. Unfortunately it was proven to be a hoax. So much for LSD.

[photo of concentration camp oven] Were you advertising before this post was on this site?  Of course you weren't. So why do you try to sound like you were? Chance's are you own a t-shop on Duval street. So why don't you list your business name for those of us that would rather boycott you. Grow and put it to rest.

Iguanas are a protected species. Protected by fools that think they are a native species. Do these people think that we should stop mosquito control? I bet they were here long before the iguanas.

[Jackson Hewitt] I had my return done there and the guy is cute. Sorry to hear that he has a girlfriend who is hot!

To the lady driving the Green Toyota Camry with the California license plate ending in 818 between mile marker 30 and 20 Tuesday morning. Please stop being a bad driver. You should try to avoid merging into traffic if it means cutting off a motorcycle.  Let me explain why. What you didn't see was the tan Saturn being driven by an even worse driver than yourself tailgating me so closely that if I had slammed on my brakes to let you in he would  have run me over. Sorry if I scared you when I zipped by in the merge lane but that's just how slow you were going compared to the speed limit.  You  made a bad decision, things happen, I'm okay with that. 

What I am not okay with was you tailgating me so closely that I read your entire license plate number with my side mirror after the initial incident.  You don't need  to intentionally intimidate motorcycle riders, we are already scared to death of bad drivers like you.  While your bad decision may result in a fender bender for you, it could have resulted in death for me.  Please drive safely.

A link for everyone else except the anal probe guy and the "animal cruelty" person and we can't leave out the Jewish person.  If you find this site offensive--don't look. http://www.nexusmagazine.com/articles/maryj.html. 

[Skunk Ape Hunting] We have been going out every other night or so on our Skunk Ape Hunt. Up until Sunday night all we had seen were deer and iguanas. Sunday we caught this picture. We were on Big Pine, off a dirt road. Sorry the picture is so poor, but we were caught off guard. We're not sure what it was. We will be going back though. A buddy of mine has a night vision camera, hopefully we can use that and not scare it away.

My anal-probed neighbor is at it again. He says his wife was also abducted by aliens a few years ago and impregnated. In other words, his doesn't think the kid is his. I have noticed that the kid has a sort of gray tinge to him, and he seems to be able to communicate with the iguanas.  Living on Big Pine is starting to get real interesting.

Aaahhh!  I've run scan disc and defragged every drive I can find. I've cleaned my browser and anything else on this darn thing and I can only open the home page, but not the gossip column.  Having withdrawal symptoms here!  Help! (Ed: I fixed the broken link as soon as I broke it. I suggest you clear your browser one more time. Don't you just hate computers when they don't work right?)

Help! This is what we are getting when trying to open gossip on your site:
Not Found. The requested URL /Pages/kudos_and_whiners_2005.htm was not found on this server. Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.

(Ed: I hate that message. Clear your browsers cache. I was house cleaning and I changed the name of the file and created all kinds of havoc. My screw up has been corrected, but people are still seeing directions that are stored on their computers. You need to clear those cookies, baby!)

[Environmental Fanatics]  Kudos to the person who responded to religious fanatics versus environmental fanatics.  Spot on!  Everyone should read the book by Michael Crichton "State of Fear."  You can't put it down and he really did his homework on the environment. 

I put up a new mailbox last week to replace the one some kids had knocked down.  I received a note this week from my Postal Lady, it read, "You, life, your sex organ and your mailbox are all too short, please remedy these situations or mail service will be discontinued."  I think I am offended, but I'm not sure.

Our humor editor, Dan Schwab, has finally gotten to the bottom of the alien probe mystery.

[lousy picture] I couldn't make out what the picture of the "new real-estate in the lower Keys" was of in Mondays kudos and whiners. 

[Soda or pop] I thought that Seahorse Trailer Park was bay side not bay front.

If you don't like W/D then go to Publix in Key West or up in Marathon.  Good Grief, quit bitching. Publix will get here sooner or later.  Sooner would be better though.

Ed, I think you print what people say; and not what you think should be said. Why don't the readers just accept that?

And for the Jews, some things are said that shouldn't be said, but I tend to send those comments to the recycle bin. (Ed: yes, my recycle bin is full of vicious anti-Semitic posts from the truly bigoted amongst us. Sad.)

Goodness!  Doesn't everyone have a laptop in their car?  Even my XM radio has links to the verbal side of these sites and tells you where all the accidents are on the minute.  Join the 21st century and love the ease.  All you have to do is log on to the site and at least you can see if there is an accident before you leave.  Down here the best thing to do is leave early and drive slowly. Spy Cams: http://host.maptuit.com/fdot/?config=TrafficW.FDOT&aoi=11  

The love of money is the root of all evil. 

I like Winn Dixie. I like bagging my own groceries. Why just stand there. Keep progress moving.  Big Pine is a good place to shop.

Kudos to the poster who loves snowbirds.  I am one and I happen to be lucky enough to have some great locals on my street.  The latest group seem to all work very hard, are very considerate of loud noise at night.   They mostly walk their dogs and retrieve the mess and in general are a great bunch of people.  I really try to get along and try to also pay an honest wage for the jobs needing to be done.  We can all get along and give each other space. 

I think the Keys Disease group is fast leaving and I respect anyone trying to make it down here with the cost of living.  Face it, most of us snowbirds are in an older age group and although we are hard working and fun loving we want a quieter, easier life down here and the locals are hard working rip roaring and going thru the prime of life; there are bound to be clashes. 

I think the greatest problem is the respect of property. People who own and pay the incredible taxes and insurances make even a modest house cost them $2000 a month and that is with no mortgage.  When we try to clean up our act and keep it neat and well manicured we don't want other trucks and trailers parked on our lots and the renters never have enough room because there are so many of them renting the houses and seawalls for fishermen etc.  When I talk to other snowbirds, that is the biggest complaint.  I try to do my best to keep my little lots clean and neat and when some other house is a real mess the best thing is to look the other way because they just don't care and I don't have the right to try to make them care. 

About the person who did not like Asheville and the Biltmore House. Sorry you didn't enjoy them.  Perhaps you were there at the wrong time of the year.  I love shopping in the Village.  I also shopped at the gardens gift shop at the House, and bought several gifts at good prices (on sale).

I have been there several times, usually on special occasions, for a fantastic meal.  There are 4 places to eat.  Stay at the Biltmore Inn, have their wonderful afternoon tea, and the great breakfast buffet.  Dinner at the Vineyards is the greatest!  Lunch at the Biltmore gardens is wonderful.  My son and beautiful (?)DIL live in Hot Springs and take me there for Christmas (The tour of the House is complete--all 4 floors) which is beautiful; my birthday or any special day.  We will be going up for Mother's Day and you can bet they will take us to the Biltmore for a fabulous lunch. 

A link for the "anal probe guy" and his neighbor. http://www.nexusmagazine.com.

[on when do the clocks change] Good.  I think it is this Sat at midnight.  I could be wrong.  Could the calendar editor please clarify? (Ed: Calendar editor? You're asking the wrong website. We have trouble finding the day. No one here has a reliable concept of time.)

[Pet cremations] You need to know that the ashes that are returned to you may or may not be your beloved pet. You see, when pets are cremated they are done several at a time due to the expense of firing the crematory to the required heat necessary to reduce the frozen body to a ashes.  It's rather expensive given that it isn't guaranteed to be your pet's ashes returned. Some vet's will tell you this, others won't.

Wednesday March 29, 2006

Tuesday March 28, 2006

There's nothing wrong with W/D. They're still cheaper than Publix. The KW Publix is dirty and the lines are too long. I think that radical W/D complainer is just a neurotic house wife with a lot of gas.

Yesterday someone was against the County buying the Seahorse Campground for affordable housing. They stated that the place would be a slum. I disagree. The KW Housing Authority has done a very good job managing affordable housing for about fifty years with strict rules and well maintained apartments. Another writer said that the government must own the property for affordable housing to remain affordable in the future. This also is true otherwise market rates will creep in.

RealTraffic Video. How can this be of help when you're in traffic unless you have a laptop in your car?

I love the Snowbirds. They've enabled me to live here all these years in the style I've always wanted. I've worked for them without them causing me any problems at all. Those that don't work hard would call me rich and greedy. Others would call me comfortable.

What non-cook asked why the need to shop every day? There is nothing to compare with fresh bread and vegetables. I would say seafood, but all we have here is W/D's frozen and dyed seafood.

I saw some free software once on the internet that would tell you when anyone mentioned your name. How foolish of me not to have downloaded it. I would love to know if any one is "pinging" me.

Some other groovy free software would impose a puzzle pattern over any photo or picture. Then you could glue it to a board and cut it out with a jig saw and have a cool puzzle. I forgot to download that one too.

[Spring] I can feel the rain, why doesn't it come?

The dedication of the new Lord of the Seas Lutheran Church on Key Deer Blvd last week was really nice. The feeling inside the new church is wonderful. I felt really good in there. And that's what it's all about.

To the Jewish person who was insulted by the Oven picture, the person who posted that picture has the same right to do so, as you do to complain about it. It is why America exists. Free thought, free press, free everything. I doubt Israel has the same rights. 

[Pet cremation] The Auschwitz picture is really un-called for.  Your local vet should offer the services.  If not Marathon Animal hospital does. 

Thanks for the info on where to find a NY Times. I have lived here 5 years and never noticed they were in front of CVS.  I passed them every day. Anyway nice article on the front of the business page about the company my son works for Heavy.com  They talk about all of his work. I am very proud of him, yah!  All the hard parenting is paying off.

What did food taste like before we knew we could eat chicken?

I love it here.

About the Seahorse Trailer Park post.  At the end of your post you stated "The county could have bought this bay front land for the people and didn't."   

I guess you have been reading the comics again, the county already purchases land with funds from grants like Florida forever and bought the old quay in lieu of this but don't let facts interrupt your nonsense. 

[Pet Cremation. The Editor is a Bigot]  For God’s, Buddha’s, Jesus’, Mohammad’s, and the Anal Probe Guy’s sake--lighten up!  I don’t believe the Editor is a racist because of his choice of a photo and the person that wrote in and said that Key’s are being taken over by “God’s Chosen People.”  Well, someone needs to help the Keys. Who I really, really feel sorry for are the poor servers and bartenders working the local bars and restaurants. First the Canadian snowbirds who don’t tip and now the even cheaper “God’s Chosen People.”

Look out Ed, I think you may have offended the Jewish folks. Law suits are soon to follow. If you really want to tick off a more powerful group than the Jews, try slamming Scientology. They have over a hundred lawyers on retainer willing and able to sue anyone that questions their "religion."  Just look at what they tried to do to South Park. Hopefully, you won't wind up like Chef.

What happened to you Monday? You came up as not found on the net, but anyway hope to have you back Tues.  Miss you. (Ed: I was messing with renaming files and screwed up the link. It's all better now.)

For those that have waited to get their taxes done. There is a Jackson Hewitt office in Key West and they are open 9a.m. till 9p.m. Check it out.

I just love hating snowbirds! Dan, I do feel better.

Tuesday March 28, 2006

Monday March 27, 2006

Winn Dixie. OK, I had to go on a Sunday so I just went.  Gosh they had plenty of checkers and a really nice manager was helping everyone out on the self-checkouts.  I really took time and looked at the store not just the stuff on the shelves.  I know the parent company is in bankruptcy, but, I really think if they keep on doing what they are doing here on Big Pine that they will possibly crawl out of bankruptcy.  The store was clean and the produce section was chock full of really fresh goods, the flower section was just breathtaking (I had to grab some of those) and the shelves were well stocked.  I found everything I wanted and had fun chatting with a few others.  Way to go Winn Dixie you are getting better!

To the person claiming that iguanas are a protected species. Could you please cite that statue number for me? I've looked high and low for it to no avail.

To the person asking about pet cremation. You can call any veterinarian to help you with this.

Mile Marker 24 was great. Is nice to see a band that isn't full of themselves.

Daylight Saving Time - When do we change our clocks? In other words, let's make this just as complicated as we possibly can!

Here's a challenge for all you complainers. Let's try eliminating the word hate from our vocabulary for just a week. Can you do it? Try not starting your rant with "I hate..." wouldn't the world be a nicer place...for a week? Instead how about starting your post with "I love..." just thought it would be a challenge for some.

[Habitat field]  That property is owned by the Home association of the owners at Habitat Landing.  Tropical Bay Estates owns the land at the canal and ten or so feet beyond that.  The field is supposed to be a park for the residents of Big Pine Key.  If they think they are going to put trailers there during the hurricane season they are nuts.  That field floods every time there is a storm.  And there will be complaints regarding noise.

I'm so sick of everyone marching for illegal aliens. Send them back to their home countries and fine all the people employing them. Except for Teasers, of course.

To the poor person who is watching out for all the animal cruelty, I hope for your sake you get a life so you do not have to run mine for me. It must be hard on you!

About the Seahorse Trailer Park post.  At the end of your post you stated "The county could have bought this bay front land for the people and didn't." 

Do I understand correctly that you want the county to take a lot of the tax money we pay on our homes and buy the land under your trailer and give it to you or just keep it and the county runs a trailer park?   What part of capitalism do you not understand?  You can still make the late plane for Cuba or Russia, but I don't think you will like their utopia.  It just doesn't turn out right when everybody quits working 'cause mother government is going to take care of everyone.   Possibly we could take our tax dollars and buy you a milk cow and a few chickens while we are at it.

RealTraffic  Here is the site for the traffic cams.  It is super and has any up to date traffic accidents and construction on it.  This will be a major help on and off the Keys and at least give us a guide and the authorities when evacuating for hurricane or other terror.

[The Seahorse Campground and the county should have bought it] Not with my money. The county, state or federal folks should never be in the rental or real estate or retail business. These are places were the free market must rule, like it or not. You Sir or Ms. have the wrong country, this is the USA. Without a free and open market we lose. GM, Ford, etc. must do good or fail because they have  given the market what it wants. The last thing we need is another state run slum. Seahorse campground will be a great improvement to Big Pine Key. The folks that must leave or move will have to leave or move. I have been here all my life and it looks like I may not be able to stay. That's life, get used to it, or don't, but it's still life. I would like to know the difference in the tax base between a campground and 100 homes. The state, county and federal system is not your caretaker, nor should it be, France, that's the spot for you. They will take care of everything. Have a safe trip. God bless the USA.

Where's our tax money going? http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12011850/displaymode/1176/rstry/11442705/ 

The illegal immigrants, and they have the nerve to protest the government they don't support, pay taxes to, and leach welfare from? They would be shot in other countries.

[Muslim who converted to Christianity killed] Islam is a violent and barbaric set of beliefs, just like Christianity and Judaism. All organized religions are nothing more than con jobs by those would be in power and riches, and control the weak through mysticism and BS!  Ask any of them to prove the stuff they sell!

My anal-probed alien abducted neighbor now has started wearing aluminum foil on his head; he says it is to keep the aliens from transmitting into his brain. I am starting to wish the mother ship would take this guy away.

"Slay the enemy wherever you may find them."--Q'uran 

(PHOTO CENSORED to prevent hurting the feelings of thin skinned people) I had my dog cremated two years ago at Marathon Vet Clinic. The staff is very compassionate and very understanding at this difficult time. I don't remember the cost, it didn't matter at the time I wanted it done no matter what. Call them, they will be glad to help you out.

I've heard it said that Big Pine could easily be called "West Virginia by the Sea".  It's got a nice ring to it.

[Cops are the good guys]  No they aren't, they tend to be anti-social non-conformists, with a "Badge Syndrome" complex. Add a gun and you have a dreamer who can explode at any time. Ask Cops' ex-wives.  Most female cops play soft ball.  Most Military "Lifers" are the same.

Do you mean finally I have found a use for the ACLU?  They might help me get the right to trim a mangrove bush on my property?  They might help me get a permit for a seawall?  I guess I better hide the fact that I believe in God or they will kick me out the door.

[Pet Cremation] You'd better do something quick. They start stinking within a few hours.

[will no longer bag at W/D] The only people you are hurting are the ones behind you in line. Oh, that's right, it is all about you. By chance are you a Yankee? 

[Pet Cremation] I love the picture of the Auschwitz oven. Do you think a State supported "Crematory and Bait Shop" would go over on Duval Street?  I bet I can get a grant for it.

[Seahorse Campground] I hope the Commission doesn't approve a land use change for it.

Inappropriate Photo The Editor is a Nazi.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  Why in the world would you put such a photo with a question about pet cremation?  You're obviously anti-Semitic.  Gods Chosen people are moving here in large numbers and will soon out-number the ugly bigots like you who are moving away in their trailers. Thank heavens.  Bad choice of picture, you moron.

[Seahorse Campground] It will only be affordable housing for about five years and then like all the others will become market rate housing or condos. Affordable housing only works if the Government owns the property. There are no exceptions.

Be careful what you wish for about new neighbors. A family from Miami bought near me and come down on weekends; all 15 of them, all trying to be louder then the next.

[W/D on a daily basis] Yes. I own a small business on BP. I get fresh baked bread and can pick my produce and milk for the day instead of having it sitting in a walk-in for a week.

Did we get a new Ed, or have you been "talked to" by someone to curtail input/output ? It seems like most "heavy stuff" doesn't get published any longer.

We need Tru-Value John!  It's time to get rid of Nugent. Tru-Value John will get something done for the people, just not for himself like Nugent.  The only time we hear from Nugent is when it's election time.  The rest of the time he's out taking care of himself and his political buddies.  If you can't get Tru-Value John to run; then try getting Rosie over at CoCo's.  She's one smart lady and John is one smart man.  Get on the Bandwagon, get rid of Nugent and get John or Rosie.  Big Pine will start to look nice again. They'll let those ugly unoccupied buildings on the highway be torn down and new well-landscaped buildings appear.

BP Grind by Dan Schwab

Shop wherever you like. If you enjoy shopping at WD they'll never have reason to improve. And if you have a (?)coprophagous appetite, that's fine too. Reward mediocrity, and punish excellence. Could be, you don't know the difference. To each their own. I don't care if I was starving to death, I still wouldn't patronize that dump out of self-respect. Forget about the price of fuel.

Saturday was funny, but Sunday, man, was I in stitches!  Congratulations Ed, you certainly have the best web site.  Next to the Citizens Voice, that is.

Want to gripe to these guys?: http://www.monroecounty-fl.gov/Pages/MonroeCoFL_BOCC/index  Save the Keys, give 'em hell!

[Ch-ch-ch-changes] Seahorse Campground Sold. Did you think it would always be Seahorse Campground (change)? I am writing on a computer (change)? I am old now (change). My son has moved to Iowa, he is 3rd Generation Keys (change). You have the right to bitch and moan. You also have the right to try and make these times as good as they can be. I will try very hard to keep my glass 1/2 full and stay as far away from folks that are angry and mean as I can; they make this life very hard; much more so than it need be. You are the sickness or the cure. Pick one.

I have a bet with a co-worker that before the summer is over, someone is going to crash into one of those massive metal spy poles and do some serious damage to themselves. Some of those poles are way to close to the road (great engineering and planning DOT). The lawyers are drooling over these potential lawsuits.  

The NY Times is a liberal rag. All they do is hammer on Bush. They are as biased to the left as Fox is to the right. And they even have some "great" reporters who have been caught making up stories.  I know you faithful readers won't ever quit reading the NYT basura, because as Paul Simon once sang," A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest."  And if you are a true NYT person, you are probably offended by the "man" reference.

Monday March 27, 2006

Sunday March 26, 2006

Another trailer park sold to developers. Some Big Pine units could be heading up to Key Largo. A group of developers has purchased the Seahorse RV Park on Big Pine Key and plans to build 100 multi-family homes in place of the existing mobile homes.  Above headline is from the Keynoter, now this deal is really special, first they kick the Conchs out of their affordable housing to make affordable housing that they know most cant afford. But wait, they will transfer 130 permits to Rowell Marina in Key Largo and build (?)2,000,000 homes on the bay.  The Gang of Three is sleeping well tonight. What a plan. The county could have bought this bay front land for the people and didn't. I wondered why, but not any more. 

Here is the Monroe County web link for the so called laws of our land. They should rename it,  catch22.gov. I dare you to fine definite answers to your questions on anything. How much do we pay these bums? Oh, I have to hire a lawyer to find out?! http://www.municode.com/resources/gateway.asp?sid=9&pid=11270

To the person who really hates W/D. Control yourself; no need to go off the deep end over a grocery store.

[Pet Cremation] Any help on this topic will be welcomed. Who, Where, Prices, etc.

[carpet tack strips to keep cats off car roof] That is a good way to get charged with animal cruelty. It doesn't matter why you committed the cruelty, unless your life is threatened. I know of a case where someone put rat traps on top of their Mercedes to stop the cats. They were convicted, no jail time but a large fine and 100 hours of community time.

To the person with the problem, you can borrow a cat trap, from your local shelter, there may be a refundable deposit required. You can trap any cats that come on your property. Take them into the shelter, in the trap, and the owner will have to pay a fine to retrieve them.

Is it legal for an owner to rent out the house to one party and then rent out the dock to two or three other parties.  What a mess with all the vehicles and not much parking space.

Saturday's posts were very funny to me!  Do we have a new Ed?  It seems the format is slightly different.

Who isn't worried about private property rights?  I know the liberals are.  They are very concerned about the Constitution and especially the Bill of Rights which clearly states that no person "be deprived of life, liberty, or  property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation."  That's Amendment V in case you want to read it for yourself. I bet the new chapter of the Key West ACLU is already hard at work looking for ways to undo the unjust treatment property owners have endured here in the Keys.

["City and county workers have the right to use vehicles for personal use] Says who? I pay your freaking salary dude, and that don't include giving you a free ride on my ticket. Your just a another blood sucker in office!

Winn Dixie might have self-check outs but I won't use them anymore.  They're a pain in the butt.  I would rather stand in line and let the cashiers help me.  That's their job, not mine.  I don't bag my own groceries anymore.  That's their job, not mine.  My job is to go in there and buy their food.  I figure I do my part, they can do theirs.  When they upgrade the quality of their produce and decide to stop selling rotten meat and lower their prices, then maybe I'll bag.  Until then, I'll let them do the work.  I deserve it.

Another local family just left Big Pine.  Usually I'm sad to see them go, but this group was awful. Drunk and loud most every evening. They never watched their dogs and cats. 

I may have to pay higher taxes and insurance, but I can see some good and the inevitable coming out of all of this because it will have to be a better, harder working group moving in to be able to afford to live here.  The rent on this particular house went from $1200 to $1900 going up to $2200. (If not signed up for long term)  The writing is on the wall. You work hard, earn and stay; or party and fish and go!  That's kind of like it is everywhere.

The Brady Bunch and more. ..:: Dove Calming Night - Nighttime Classics Featuring Felicity Huffman ::..  (Ed: Thanks for sending the web link instead of the file. These video and sound files are filling up my computer too fast because they are so big.)

I have been reading this web site for quite a few years now and all I have to say is that you people really bitch way to much. Why is it that no one is ever happy with what we have, all they do is complain about what we don't have. I for one love it here on Big Pine, I couldn't possibly think of a better place to live. we have great fishing, awesome sunsets, diving, snorkeling and all the fun stuff that those northerners don't have.

To all of you people who say it is too expensive to live here, maybe you should put the crack pipe down and stop your drinking. Myself and quite a few other people I know in this area live here very comfortably for about 25,000 dollars a year. I rent a nice house, on a canal, own a new truck, a boat, and still can afford to go out and have a good time now and then.

As for Big Pine and its future, who cares as long as it stays the peaceful place it has always been. we could use that new community park they have been promising us for years now. A little beautification on US 1 wouldn't hurt us either. Big Pine has always looked like a lil old country town, and it still can as long as we impose some rules to what types of new buildings or landscaping we allow on our little piece of US 1. we here on bi pine have a say in what goes on, but instead we choose to sit here on our fat asses and complain on this web site. Every so often the county hold workshops to find out what this community really wants and maybe 50 or so people show up, what about the countless other people who live on Big Pine and love to complain.

Basically all this to say that if everyone could stop complaining and fighting we just might get something done around here for once. I believe in this community and I believe that with a little effort from everyone, and I do mean everyone we could create a much more peaceful and inviting place to live.

Now that College Basketball's March Madness is winding down it is time for the 1st Annual Keys Treasures Fishing Madness contest. Fish are seeded in 4 brackets, Offshore, Reef, Inshore/Flats and Wild Card. Make your picks for bracket winners and overall champ. They vote for your favorites in the head to head games. Free to enter and there are a couple of prizes. For more information and to participate click here 1st Annual Keys Treasures Fishing Madness.

On really big issues like the Chain Store Ordinance and Area of Critical State Concern the voters should decide. We elect our leaders to take care of the day-to-day stuff only; not life changing issues.

On Real Time with Bill Maher Friday during a discussion on Iraq and the torture of Iraqi prisoners, Maher quoted a poll stating that only 26% of Catholics and Protestants said that torture is never ok. Yet over 45% of secular people (Agnostics and Atheists), said that torture was never ok. Things that make you go hmmm.

Yesterday's Citizen reported that the Seahorse Campground has been sold. The price was $7.85 million. If I recall, the place sold for $70 thousand in 1979, and it was a hell of a lot nicer than it is today. Another piece of Keys history coming down.

Mangrove Mamas Mile Marker 24 CD release party was the party of the year. Everyone who was somebody and everyone who wasn't were there. It was an event to remember and I am glad that I was there too. Kudos to Tom and Iris and all their employees for they did a remarkable job. The place was packed. Thanks for a wonderful time.

If you don't like W/D go somewhere else so I can get in to shop. It's the best we have, let's live with it.

I don't like Conchs thinking that they are special or entitled to anything just because they were born here. I've been living here before most of them were even born. I equate, I'm a Conch" with that old line, "That and a dime will get you a cup of coffee." Meaningless.

[Retail Formula Meeting] The meeting Friday night was good, both sides moved a little closer to the middle. If you don't know what meeting I am talking about shame on you. One person asked to see the FRO  to look it over and was told that the old FRO. was so poorly written and received,  that there was no need to bring it up for review. We must work on a new one or do away with the proposal altogether. Mr Feagin said to the Barometer that, "We heard clearly that no one in attendance at the first workshop was in favor of the ordinance as written, so we have taken that option off the table." I am sure that some folks would like no schools, no parks, no new anything and that's just fine, but that is not most folks. Most folks would like to see some well planned change and growth. So lets keep at it. I feel that there is enough hoops to jump thru all ready; and no new ones are needed. But that's just me and if you like to be heard come to the next meeting, take some time to make a difference.

[Retail Formula Ordinance] The second RFO meeting was a bigger circus than the first. Who  made a planning commissioner the mediator of these meetings? What are his qualifications to be a planning commissioner in the first place? Is it not a conflict of interest for him to be steering an ordinance that he will be voting on? Did we not spend thousands of tax dollars on the Communikeys meetings six year ago? We need a survey for Big Pine only, to see if this issue should be brought to a vote. Then may be the majority will be heard.

I lived in Asheville for years and have relatives there. I would never want to live there again. For me, it's too cold, too boring.  My parents and I went to the Biltmore Estate tour, which has a gift shop at the end. My dad went back to buy me a doll I had seen in the gift shop, and they charged him again for a tour! What a sleazy rip-off. I've never been back to take anyone for the tour, and that was 20 years ago. People remember for a long time when a business rips them off. The Biltmore Estate tour only shows a portion of the home on the tour. You never get to see the entire estate, but they won't tell you that till after you've paid and started the tour.

You can go to all the meetings you want and do all you can to keep the Keys like they are, but it won't do a bit of good as long as the developers have the Gang of Three in their pockets.

[Too much extra time] Winn Dixie on a daily basis? Get a life. Make a grocery list and shop once a week. Why would you shop everyday?

[Camera poles]  What could be so interesting to watch on the poles? It's bad enough I get to watch and interact with all the traffic on my way to and from work everyday.

Stop In The Name Of the Law!  Cops are the good guys.  Every single one of them down here are hot-hot-hot.  Oh my.  Let's bash Code and Army Corp but leave these guys alone.    

All you Winn Dixie haters go to Marathon. That will make W/D better for those of us who like to shop there. Maybe gas prices will go high enough that it would cost you $50 for the Marathon trip, then maybe you will smarten up.

[Asheville] I understand those in Carolinas call Yankees that move to Florida then to the Carolinas Halfbacks. They moved south then half way back.

W/D pays as well as any other big business down here. The ladies must have been newly arrived immigrants. They get food stamps forever no matter how much they make. Get it?

Buck Owens dead. He let go of the tiger's tail. RIP

[killing Muslim who converted to Christianity] Islam is a violent and barbaric set of beliefs.

[To the person who really hates Winn Dixie] You say you haven't shopped there in years, then how do you know that they have self-check outs?   And we all know that the W/D was here long before the Marathon Publix. I have gotten not so good produce at W/D, as I have at Publix. I have never gotten sour milk at either store.  Sorry that your refrigerator isn't working properly.  The W/D may not be perfect, but it is what we have.  I'll pick it over Publix any day.

R.I.P. Blackie.  May the butterflies always be near.

Sunday March 26, 2006

Saturday March 25, 2006

[Special treatment for Conchs] Who picks and chooses what’s on this website? I am a born and raised Conch (that’s been here my whole life) and I have put information about a great roofer and handyman on this site for the last two days and I have not yet seen it on the website. Is this website generally not for people helping people, but for those who are just off the deep end? (Ed: Dear Conch, please clear your browser's cache Browser Cleaning .  Your missive had been published when you sent it in the first time; as soon as we saw that you were a Conch)

[Camera poles] So let's just assume that the public lost and FL DOT won regarding the intrusive camera poles. May we, the citizens, see these images? Or   does one need a security clearance due to the "War on Terror" to watch our US1 Cams? (Ed: we printed the camera link last week, you'll have to search it. Archives.)

They sell the NY Times in boxes in front of the Coffee Shop and in front of the old Scotty's (CVS).

[Spy Poles] Here is Gus's quote from the Keynoter article: DOT District Operations Director Gus Pego said the project has already been scaled back because of local complaints, and that the remaining elements are necessary.

“We're trying to help citizens, to help visitors, by keeping traffic moving,” Pego said. “We're trying to look out for everybody.” Pego said he could not comment on the Feb. 15 resolution because he has not seen it. “Our goal is to meet the needs of the public,” Pego said. “We're talking about one pole every three or four miles. For a road of 125 miles, that's really not that much.”

My comment is: Gus you are a liar. Do you expect us to believe that not one assistant or secretary informed you about the Feb. 15 resolution? Secondly, if the project has been scaled back in The Keys, where are the new construction plans? Wouldn't that need approval? "Scaled Back" should be less money. How much have you saved us Gus by scaling back?

Send Gus a happygram: Gus Pego FDOT, Director of Construction (305) 470-5464   Gus.Pego@dot.state.fl.us 

These are the questions to answer on immigrants' naturalization test.  Pass this on to your friends and you can bet none of them will pass it!  http://uscis.gov/graphics/exec/natz/natztest.asp

I shop at W/D on a daily basis. There is usually someone taking care of the self-check outs and seldom do I have to wait for more than a minute or two. Self-check out is a convience. When I have 3 items at Publix and have to stand in line the time difference is a minute or two.

[Elderly Dog Beach] Yes, my Bubba, thanks so much I will check out those spots.  I am familiar with the Blimp Road spot but haven't been down there in awhile.  He had acupuncture today and seems in better spirits.  Thanks to all who have responded, I will explore all opportunities.  

They ration our water, raise our taxes, ticket our cars, double prices of supplies, tell us how to build, spy on us, why don't we locals just walk away from this place before they start shooting us to get the land for the rich and famous to build their castles on. I'm sick of the whole thing!

To the person who wants a New York Times, I live in the hated state of NJ and get the NYTimes everyday.  If you can’t find one in paradise and you tell me what day, I’ll send you a copy.

Anyone that’s looking for a handyman, roofer, landscaper, etc. I had a great gentlemen that was very efficient, affordable and when he said that he would show up he did. Give him a call at 872-1068 or 849-0839.

If you didn't get enough Mitch quotes in Friday's Funnies here's the mother lode. Mitch Hedberg Quotes

[Buffett ticket prices] I agree, online JB prices are very expensive. At the show, outside, deals can be had. After finding a great deal for a double at a Philly hotel last August, I made the trek up the eastern shore from Norfolk with a new Jimmy fan. The idea was to check-in, dump the car and subway/walk. We found a scalper for 2 tickets at $90. Our bar tab cost more than that. Were we in the front row? No, but we had great seats near great people! Just show up you'll get in.

Looks like Houston has a major crime problem. I'm glad those n'awlins refugees did not land down here! http://chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/3745006.html

Asked if he believed in clubs for women, WC Fields responded, "Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails." 

If you want to do something about the rate increases for windstorm insurance, download and snail mail the letters from FIRM (Fair Insurance Rates in Monroe) to your legislators here: http://www.fairinsuranceratesinmonroe.com. FIRM is a grass roots organization of local concerned citizens and homeowners whose purpose is to stop unfair and unaffordable property insurance premiums. Want to be really surprised - look at the comparison chart with other counties!

My wife suggested I start taking Viagra to help our love making. I suggested to her to take some diet pills. Anyone know a good divorce lawyer on Big Pine?

[insurance rates] You need to sign up as a land owner. Important even if you come back to rent, Go to:  http://www.fairinsuranceratesinmonroe.com/

If I ever see someone molesting an Iguana, I'm calling someone with a camera!

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago...I shot my broker.

[Toe Fetish] One thing about living in the Keys which I didn't pay much attention to is that your feet should be clean, nails trimmed, abnormal growths severed and in general, disease-free looking and pleasant in appearance.  Or you will freak people out.

Before I would just look in the eyes and face of a incoming stranger, but now I gaze quickly at  their feet too!  Why?  It's because everyone wears sandals and holy cow is there variety in doze toes.  But I have become self-conscious of what I stomp around on and it is troublesome when I land on some dog doo doo on my lawn and then have to sterilize my feet or drag it into Winn Dixie.  This is a pain in the arse.  It's a real surprise when you see someone that god blessed with great looks on the North Pole, but  upon gazing to the South Pole I come across a mutant display of genetics gone haywire.  I swear this one chick could play a piano with her toes!

Molest an Iguana?  I've heard that they shoot or poison them, but I've never  heard of anyone "molesting" them.  That's a little sick, don't you think?  Sounds like you may be one of those alien abductees with repressed memories that are starting to surface.  If you need to talk, we're here for you.

Winn Dixie must not pay very well.  I saw two cashiers (well nourished  I might add) last week buying groceries on their way out (if you want  to call 4 quarts of Ben & Jerry ice cream food) with their USA food  stamp card!

What about the shark attack, death, biting, whatever on No Name Bridge?

I live on big Coppitt. I walk out my front door and see a late model silver Mercury Marquis 4 door in my neighbors parking lot. A guy was coming out of my neighbor's van with 2 fishing poles. Not knowing if he had permission or was a thief I wrote down their description and a partial out of state license number (322-pin or pan) and called my neighbor. He didn't know them so they were thieves. He called the sheriff's office and told them the info; and that they just went north from MM10 five minutes ago which would put them at roughly MM 15.

The deputy asked what he wanted them to do, he told them to stop the car and get his stuff. They told him they were long gone and that they couldn't stop every Silver Mercury headed north. Well, duh, it looks like we got a bunch of lazy, unimaginative, stupid law enforcement officers who really put the oink in the word pig. They would rather bust some poor bastard for smoking a joint or speeding than catch a felon who just stole 300 to 400 dollars worth of fishing gear.

I can't really blame them for being so cranky and lousy at their job, I even get pissed off some time that I can't get a nice warm fresh chocolate-iced Krispy Kream doughnut. I can only imagine what these fat lazy CENSORED feel like.

[I can't think of a bigger waste than environmental organizations like, Fish and Wildlife. They couldn't care less about the wildlife]  Leave it to a conservative drone to worry about the private property. Sounds like someone couldn't get some permits. Boo-hoo.

China's Chopstick Tax Seems Dim to Some. Is China at a fork in the road? Beijing this week slapped a 5% tax on disposable chopsticks, dealing what many Chinese say was a powerful gut punch.

Our forced democracy in Afghanistan isn't working. They have sentenced a man to death for converting to Christianity from Islam. Americans take note. This is an extreme example of failure to separate church from state as written in our Constitution.

Piners looking for landscapers/yard work.  There are several of us here, just look in the classified section of this website under landscaping.
Business Directory>Landscaping.

Today is the day!  Howard Livingston & Mile Marker 24 CD Release Party! Mangrove Mama's 7:00 PM U.S. 1 at Mile Marker 20 , Sugarloaf Key, FL. Steel Guitarist John Rickard will be performing with Howard Livingston & Mile Marker 24 at their CD Release party.  Don't miss his off the wall playing.

[Really hates Winn Dixie] What cashiers? How about W/D stop urinating on their customers, and turn the six self-checkouts on? But no, they want you to stand in line to check your own ass out,  with their sour milk and rotten produce like a damn fool, staring at the six or seven self-checkouts that are shut down. Yeah, keep patronizing those pigs so we can keep them in our neighborhood. When one is in business in the real world, one does not keep automating, cutting and cutting back on quality to save money and keep one's customers. Wrong direction. How long do you think they could stay in business anywhere else? Who cares? I haven't shopped there in years. I go up to Marathon Publix now as we used to before W/D was built;  and the ride is well worth it.  Incidentally, I get home just as quickly, really; and in a better mood.

[Really likes W/D] Hello! Where have you been? W/D has always had an express lane and, no, we don't have low expectations, just appreciation for a store instead of traveling 25 miles.

Habitat Landing (that property is actually Tropical Bay Estates) is now going to be the new home to 25 trailers. The trailers will be there through the whole season with no tie downs and the sewage will be on a pump out basis. I think the noise is going to be the least of the problems.

Dolphins may be breeding in the flats, but locals are definitely breeding in vans at Boondocks.  

My house toilet rule is to leave the seat where it is when you finish your duty, and check it before you start your next. 

I had lunch at Rob's Thursday. The place was packed and with only one waitress working. I must give her credit. She was doing excellent service;  also the food was good. I hope Rob lets her keep her tips because she deserves every penny.

The NY Times is all over. W/D has one at the ramp also out side the plaza at the Key Deer Blvd entrance. At Scotty's  entrance from US 1. I'm not sure, but Tom Thumb may also have one, but not too reliable on daily delivery.  I'm curious as to why your son is in the paper. Good news to share with us?

Saturday March 25, 2006

Friday March 24, 2006

So now we have that protection removed and Big Pine is going to rescind the chain store ordinance and their also widening the 18mile stretch. It's a great time to be a developer.

[Elderly dog beach] Try driving down to the end of Blimp road or Kohen on Big Pine.  You can park your car there and the dog, (bubba?) can walk right into shallow warm water. There is another place on the Torch Keys, closer  to Big Torch where you can park on the side of the road and walk into  shallow sandy water at the culvert that crosses the road. I hope the  hurricane didn't change the bottom, but they used to be sandy.

[Separate religion from government] That reminded me of something I read.  "You know you're a liberal, if you don't want the Christian Right imposing their morality on you, but you want to impose big government on everyone else because they won't do the right thing." 

While you're worrying so much about the religious fanatics making you feel guilty for being morally vacant, the environmental fanatics are the ones actually taking away your rights.  It's not any religious group preventing you from building a dock, unplugging a canal, planting or removing whatever from the property you own and are  paying taxes on.  As far as the government wasting your "hard earned tax dollars", I can't think of a bigger waste than environmental organizations like, Fish and Wildlife.  They couldn't care less about the wildlife.  It's only used as an excuse to confiscate private property after first making  that property nearly worthless to the owner.  And it's the likes of you that empower them.

Microsoft employee of the month.  I think I've spoken to him once or twice--or more.

[beach area that I can take my elderly dog] Besides the Boca Chica suggestion (a very good one), Sombrero in Marathon is dog-friendly and meets your requirements.  He will have to stay on his leash. Also, at Marathon end of Seven Mile Beach there is a good spot, a little rocky but not too.  Also Veterans' Beach when it (finally) reopens.  Ditto re: leash required.

To the person complaining about W/D. First of all the BP W/D is not cutting corners to save money. Take a good look around you.  The working class is moving out fast and very few people are applying for jobs here. This includes our banks and hospitals. There is a very big shortage of nurses at Lower Keys Hosp. People are busing into the Keys to work;  they don't mind the 3 hr trip because the pay is higher here than on the main land.  Things are only going to get worse as all the homes here are selling for big bucks. I'm happy with W/D and glad to have a store near by. Give the cashiers a break; they have to put up with people like you.

[Good Landscapers]  If they can't get you an estimate after 60 days, that should be a heads-up.  Try the smaller companies who can service your needs in a timely fashion instead of the over-priced high profile ones you see around.  Might as well wait until another busy hurricane season passes.

I have seen some weird lights in the sky lately. Perhaps the aliens are getting ready to surgically remove more rectums from animals and perform more anal probes on unsuspecting humans. I myself have invested in a heavy duty "Probe Guard" from Sharper Image. It's the only way to go in these difficult times.

Someone posted their concern for renters should windstorm insurance increase dramatically for non-residents. I wouldn't worry about it.  Rent will only go as high as the market will bare and I believe it's already there.  If no one can afford the rent, the property will sit vacant.  The owner will then have the choice of lowering the rent or bearing the cost of mortgage, taxes and insurance without benefit of any income. So you see, you're loosing sleep for nothing!

The new bagel lady will be coming to town next week to take over Bagel Island. Stop by and see her.

I do not have any relatives at CVS, I do however respect people who admit their mistakes and own up to them. I can only base CVS by how I have been treated. I really hate cry babies.

It is about that time again. The snowbirds are beginning to pack it up. Back to the land of cold brown water, polluted air, traffic, concrete jungles, cookie-cutter malls and people just like themselves. With all that great stuff, one can't help but wonder why they come down here in the first place?

[cats on their convertible's top] This one's easy!  Just get some carpet tack strips, the ones with hundreds of tiny nails stuck in a strip of wood, and glue them to a piece of heavy plastic.  Lay it on the roof of your car.  Trust me from experience, the cats learn really fast (and the plastic keeps the bloody footprints off your convertible).

For yard work/lawn, shrub and tree maintenance, I've been using A Cut Above Landscaping & Lawn Care for years.  The owner lives here on Big Pine.  They do my house, the one next door and one across the street.  They are very reliable, although not cheap, but you get what you pay for.  I've also seen them doing various businesses in the area, including Century 21, Big Pine liquors, and one of the banks.  Their phone number is 745-1900. Business Directory>lawncare

The one place to take an elderly dog with arthritis is on Big Torch. I haven't been there for years but it is ( or was) almost like a natural spring. It is where the tunnels are. It is rocky, but my old dog loved to lay on the opposite side and have the water just run over him. It was a natural Jacuzzi.

New Rule 2. The toilet seat shall always be left in the down position regardless of the frequency of urination. As every married man knows, to do otherwise is to risk being deprived of sexual favors.

I bet if we went in today and drug tested / polygraphed all  the workers at the Marathon and Key West Government Departments many of them would be out on the street come Monday.  The Bubba System is going out of business.  There are new people in our area who will not tolerant this nonsense.  Where do we start with this agenda?

[Swamp ape] Another sighting. He seems to show up early in the morning.

[New gossip] Now why would the G.M. of Dolphin Marina fire the employee of the year? Was he trying to raise his sunken sailboat that's been blocking the canal since Wilma with the employee of the year on the clock?

Dolphins are breeding in the flats. Boaters, please watch out.

[Marathon Sea Food Festival] You've got to remember the damage the fishermen have had this past year. Give them a break, we're lucky we had one this year.

[Sonny McCoy] No he didn't change his vote! The KW Citizen screwed it up. Unbelievable? Yeah, right. They can't even get my paper to me.

[Phil Spector] If you're ever up for murder, for the love of God, get a haircut.

I thought the Marathon Seafood Festival was great this year!  Free parking and only 5 bucks to get in. Free music and lots of stuff to see.  What is wrong with that?  Boy you people bitch about anything.

Toren van beren move your pointer over the bears, no clicks necessary. It's like bowling for bears.

It seems a lot of people from the Keys end up in Asheville. Wonder why?

If I see anyone molesting an Iguana, I will call the police. Just a reminder that they are a protected native that were here before us.

More fun popping bubble wrap.  http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/whatever/swf/bubblewrap.swf try "manic mode" at least once.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot. --Groucho Marx  1890-1977 (I didn’t know Groucho knew Dubya.)

[Disgruntled Piner] Does anyone know when they are going to pave Key Deer Blvd.? It is starting to look like a third world country road. Big Pine is starting to give me the feel for living in a third world country. We are ruled by dictators who do as they wish. I think it is called taxation without representation. They are to busy lining their pockets to get anything worthy accomplished for the people. We can't even get a park accomplished. Hell, some of us can't even get our trash picked up without a bribe to the garbage men. (That's another story.) We have to wait in long lines to get our food. does this sound like Russia or is it just Winn Dixie? We can't get proper meds without waiting for hours for the one pharmacist at CVS to fill it. After 15 years of having a condemned fire station we are finally going to get a new one or is that just another promise to be broken or just pie in the sky? When is beautification of US1 going to take place? After we are all dead and gone? 

Marie Antoinette said to the French, "Let them eat Cake" right before the French Revolution. Our politicos in private probably say let the Big Piners "eat pie in the sky". You have to admit that Big Pine Key looks shoddy compared to a lot of the other Keys. I guess our elected representative isn't as good as the reps from the other Keys. He is to busy kicking around the political football of whether franchises should be allowed on the island. Maybe if he kicks it around long enough he can get thru another election without having to do anything. I have never seen more talk by politicians and so little action as here. What is his name anyway?  I forgot it. It seems like you only hear his name around election time.

What is up with the field at Habitat Landing?  I don't see any work permits.  This morning at 6:15 AM they were playing with their loaders.  Hello!  What do you think you are doing?  Just because you are a part of Habitat for Humanity you think you aren't above the law?  There is a noise ordinance.

To the individual who states that Winn Dixie always has 6 lanes open, you apparently just can't count. I have never seen 6 lanes open. However, if you  are counting the computer lanes, they often have a line and they aren't worth getting into because something usually goes wrong or 1 or 2 are out of service. 

You can't get cigarettes or alcohol without an employee being there so then you have to wait for one of them to show up. How come Publix doesn't need computer checkouts? Also you would expect good customer service from where ever you go. You must have been on this island to long and have been brainwashed into having low expectations

Winn Dixie finally put in an express lane for 10 items or less. It is manned by a human and not a computer. At least that person has a job. It is definitely needed and appreciated. If it were up to the individuals like the one defending Winn Dixie, Winn Dixie would have all computers and they could lay everyone off. That would definitely cut costs. They know however that most people don't put up with lousy service. The express lane was definitely needed and appreciated. Maybe I will now continue shopping there. I am sure I am not the only one disgusted with Winn Dixie. Maybe the manager realizes customers walk out rather than stand in a 20 minute line.

Let's see how President Bush handles Bird Flu.

Dear Bubba, I get worn out just by watching "crackers" and "conchs" pat themselves on the back for having the talent to have been born here.  If only I'd worked harder as a fetus. 

Where were our politicians last night at the FIRM meeting in the upper Keys? They weren't standing with us. I bet if the Cay Club was holding a meeting  Murray Nelson would have been there preaching about affordable housing. I guess affordable insurance doesn't matter when the developers can't make any money.   

Unhappy cat.

Does anyone know where I can get a NY Times? My son is going to be in the Times next Monday and I would love to see it. I live in Big Pine Thanks  

[Texas is arresting drunks inside bars] The responsible vendor law is BS.  I'm a bartender/owner and there is no way that I am a doctor who can tell how drunk a person is. Some get totally wasted on one drink, and others can drink all night with apparently no effect. This is a "pass the buck law" for those people who will not take responsibility for their own actions/

[Mayor Sonny McCoy has done the first thing in his too long career for the average Joe] No he didn't. The KW Citizen said they reported incorrectly, but the bill is so diluted by DCA amendments that ol' Murray is not happy now.

[Full time residents that rent will take the brunt of the cost for windstorm insurance] Actually no rental property is exempt from the bill, but lets not let facts get in the way.

Amanda and Ryan. Have fun in Tahiti!

Friday March 24, 2006

Thursday  March 23, 2006

New rule. Whoever pees the most determines where the toilet seat will be left. If a woman pees more than a man (fat chance) then the seat will remain down. And visa versa. 

Hello I would like to suggest that you give us voters a referendum to vote on concerning critical concern prior to the Florida Legislature enacting any changes. If the Monroe County voters agree to de-designation then so be it but if only a select few want it then the will of the people should prevail.

I am not sure if this is feasible but hopefully and emergency vote can be enacted Thank You for your service.

I submitted the above to our commissioners, gov and reps, lets all do the same

I too would be interested in forming a UFO experience group. We would have to find a safe place to meet where we can discuss our various encounters, anal probes, etc. and won't be ridiculed by the non-believers. I hope we can meet soon-those iguanas seem to be watching me.

I would have to imagine that people who state CVS is top notch must have very low expectations in life, or they are the manager or mother of the manager.

Everybody scream bloody murder! Write our Congress-persons here in Fl. They are trying to make seat-belt violation a primary traffic stop, which means they can pull anyone over for anything (my truck doesn't even have seatbelts). Whether you like Jeb or not, at least he says, "it would be too much personal intrusion on the public".  

Has anyone else had nothing but problem's with the Sears aerobic systems?

[Wesley House Benefit] Hello from the Mile Marker 24 gang. Our new CD Meet Me In The Keys is finished and we are ready to have a party! It is all going to happen at Mangrove Mama’s on Sugarloaf Key, Florida on Saturday March 25.  We would like to invite everyone to join us in the fun. The party starts 7:30 PM and will go until they tell us to stop. There will be door prizes, raffles, lots of music and you will hear all the new tunes from the new CD. We will also have some special guests from all over the country. Proceeds from the raffle will go to benefit the Wesley House. 

Please come out and party with us and as always, have a free margarita on the band.

The guy from code enforcement was by yesterday. Do they all look like they are from the movie "Deliverance?"

Leave it to a woman to take all the fun out of sexual harassment.

Big Pine Formula Retail Ordinance Meeting this Friday March 24th at the Big Pine Key Methodist Church. The Planning Department is calling for this workshop to determine the need for a formula retail ordinance. Everybody that has an opinion on this should attend. It is scheduled for 6:00 pm.

It is better to look like a fool in silence, than to speak and erase all doubts. --Mark Twain

[Dog Beach] Bring your poor old pooch down to Boca Chica Road. Our beach is dog friendly, nudist friendly and almost tourist free. Just take the turn next to Circle K on Big Coppitt and drive till you are out of road. You cannot miss the beach.

Who says Geo W doesn’t work for the Arabs?

Bush is a religious nut case and this proves it!  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11951695/  He's giving your hard earned tax money to screwballs so they can have more power to control your life. Bring sanity back to this world, separate religion from government.

[I’ll see your Nigeria scam and raise you one Zimbabwe]  A bogus traditional healer who persuaded a businesswoman to hire "mermaids" and accommodate them in a Harare hotel to help find a stolen car was convicted of theft by false pretences, court officials say. Harare magistrate Sandra Nhau found Edina Chizema guilty of swindling a businesswoman of her savings with promises that mermaids would help recover the luxury car in 2004 and solve the businesswoman's unspecified "personal problems".

In Zimbabwe, where tribal superstition is deeply entrenched, prosecutors said Ms Chizema persuaded Margaret Mapfumo to pay 200 million Zimbabwe dollars to hire mermaids, feed and accommodate them in a Harare hotel, buy power generators for a floodlit lakeside ceremony and invoke ancestral spirits to find the missing car. Some of the money was to be used to buy a bull whose genitals - described in court as the animal's "strong part" - would point out the car thief, prosecutors said. At a hearing yesterday, the magistrate said Ms Chizema, who had pleaded not guilty and claimed to be a spirit medium, was not a credible witness and the "idiosyncrasies" of her plea were not recognized in law. Ms Chizema will be sentenced to imprisonment or a fine at a sentencing hearing later.

Re: Helen Thomas interrupting Bush's statements
I don't know what version you watched but here's the actual interview. You have to love it when a reporter finally grows a spine and asks the tough questions, even if it means she'll not get another chance for another 4 years!
http://brickburner.blogs.com/my_weblog/2006/03/dont_mess_with_.html

And here's the follow-up interview with Wolf Blitzer:
http://veredictum.com/node/77?file=http://www.ameratsu.com/media/vid/cnn/cnn
_sr_bush_helen_thomas_060321c_320x240.flv&width=320&height
=240&OrigWidth=320&OrigHeight=240

[Cracked Egg] Is it cracked? When are they open?

This anal probe thing has gotten out of hand (no pun intended).

[Katrina's Battle of New Orleans]  That was tasteless bigotry at it's finest.  I loved it!  I'd like to include it on my new CD.

Asheville is in North Carolina in the mountains.  It is a beautiful place.  The people are nice and they have a great downtown area - it's not all tee shirts and bars.  Someday I would like to live there.  It is cool in the summer and cold in the winter.  The Biltmore Estate is there - the largest private house in the US.  It is worth taking a tour of.  You should all go there sometime it is a great place.

If I were an alien, I would abduct the commissioners and use my galactic size anal probe on them! But it would only stimulate their brains.

Full time residents that rent will take the brunt of the cost for windstorm insurance. Be carefull what you wish for, you may get it.

To the guy complaining about W/D they always have 6 self-check out lanes open. Did you ever think they may be having trouble finding help? Oh, that's right. You probably have trouble thinking. That is why you cannot use the self-check out.

Any suggestions on reliable and good landscaping / yard work people?  A few of us in the neighborhood would love some back-up in beautifying our outdoors and cannot find anyone.  If they do good work, they will get many referrals from us Big Piners who need assistance with our yards.  We were wondering if any of the people with their fabulous landscaping would like to do some side work as they certainly know what they're doing.  Thank you kindly for your suggestions.

Happy Windy Weekend.  This takes us off the clean waters and on to the yards. 

Mayor Sonny McCoy has done the first thing in his too long career for the average Joe. He withdrew support for removing the Area of Critical State Concern designation. Maybe he noticed that 82% of us didn't want it removed. He finally did something that didn't enrich himself or his Bubbas.

[Navy hunks straight to BPK] Yum."  Good news, those Navy hunks are already in BPK.  They're all members of the local IKC (Iguana Killers Club).  I hear they also have a ladies division.

It is obvious why Canada has such strict gun laws.  It is to protect the patrons of restaurants from servers whom they have stiffed. 

I am a local and will join the ranks of those who will never be ripped off by the Marathon Seafood Festival again.

We have not heard anything else from the person complaining about their neighbor's cats on their convertible's top. Where are you? And your worthy fighting cause.

Anyone know how the person is doing that was bitten by a shark at No Name Bridge a few days ago? We have heard a few different versions of the incident, and wondered what actually happened. Hope he will be ok.

Lookout, they're here!  I almost got run over by an old blue haired battleaxe in a Cadillac!

82% of us want to keep the designation as an area of critical concern, and yet the "gang of three" is trying to take it away. And we're supposed to be spreading democracy around the world?

[Hanging balls hater] I'd like to commend the city for doing something about the over population of cats/dogs and chickens. Although it'd be difficult to fix a chicken or rooster its easier to fix cats and dogs. As a resident, I'm tired of seeing balls hanging on  a male dog that isn't going to be bred. Its disgusting. There's so many cats in Big Pine as well. I think the city, along with getting a license for dogs, should be required by law to have that animal fixed. The same with cats. Owners should have all their pets sex and color registered with the city and stick to the $500 fine if the owner doesn't spay/neuter the animals.

It seems people don't understand the windstorm insurance rate issue.  It is not "lower insurance rates for full time residents" it is higher insurance rates for full time residents. With even higher rates for non-homesteaded residents which has no bearing on reality. Citizens proposed rate structure for all of us is not based on sound actuarial data.  How can anyone of intelligence argue that because "wealthy" (more likely hard working people) can afford to pay the prices for property in the Keys and not be entitled to the homestead exemption on very high taxes they should be further penalized for wanting to insure their property.

The problem facing the nation from New Orleans onward, is that people did not insure their property and we are going to pay for that. It is unbelievable that people complain about second home owners and still suck up the tax money generated far over and above homesteaded property. It is truly the mentality that the government, and for that matter, "everyone else owes me something."

Lets give a shout out to Rudy and Mary Karson! They are in town from Baltimore. Look out for them in all the Irish bars in Key West. Cheers!

Thursday  March 23, 2006

Wednesday March 22, 2006

[Do iguanas eat marijuana plants] I don't know, but I do know that the deer eat Belladonna plants. I've watched them, but it's pretty hard to tell if their high. They always look goofy.

Commissioner Dixie Spehar can remove herself from "the gang of three" by helping some of her constituents with an unpopular and complicated cause. She can help us get our plugged canals open.

I would like to thank everyone involved in the clean up of the canal's last Sunday.  A lot of trash was removed and put in the  dumpster.  We can make this a cleaner place to live if we all do just a little.  A plastic bag in the water can cost you a pretty penny by getting around your prop and causing your motor to overheat, not to  mention how it could kill wildlife if it were to be swallowed.

[Jimmy Buffet memories] I saw him at the Key West High School gym in 1975.  I think it was $4 a ticket. Later that year he played at Mallory Square for a little more per ticket.  I have that stub somewhere.

[Refurbished Laptop woes] Never buy anything refurbished with a battery. You can't refurbish a battery that is any good for more than a few weeks.

May I suggest that you read the Constitution of the United States and the Florida Constitution.  I believe  amendments 24 and 26 of the US Constitution discusses the reason an 18 year old that doesn't pay taxes is allowed to vote.  Article 6 section 2 of the  Florida Constitution explains that residency is required to vote in the state of Florida.  No where did I see mention of the rights of vacation/2nd  home owners to vote in a state other than their home state. Maybe I missed  it?  As I see it, you have two options; 1. Become a resident of Florida or  2. Lobby for a change to the Florida Constitution that gives non-residents the right to vote.  Of course it will be residents that decide on option 2,  so that might be an uphill battle.

I think we should ban makeup.  Also, ban any face coverings in all countries.  Ban silicone, ban fake teeth, ban arm pit shaving, ban wigs, ban spike heels.  This should curtail over population and save the world. Banning deodorant won't work, because most of the world doesn't use it anyway. Oui?

CVS has always been top notch with me. It sounds like they owned up to a mistake and took responsibility; rare today or they just wanted to shut you up. Either way, sounds like they are still top notch. Why don't you try the internet for your meds and see if they will own up to anything. I say way to go CVS.

Dearest Regards to the person who wrote in yesterday about Sister Kate and Captain Dan. Get a life and take a chill pill. It was all in fun! I will go say 10 Hail Marys and pray for forgiveness, even though I know God was laughing the whole time.

I hate that old bag Helen Thomas A friend of Hussein's and Osama's, So ugly is she, that people quite often flee and grown men cry for their mamas.

I hope everyone realizes the post from Nigeria is a con and understood the editor’s comment to be tongue in cheek.  Virtually all emails from Nigeria are cons; the government even trains these crooks, so please beware.

Please don't insult Bicycle Joanie.

Could the person who used Bob Chinnis Roofing for getting a metal roof installed, please let me know where the work was done.  I would like to see how they look from the street, if you don’t mind.  My email is burnsnancybill@netscape.com  Thanks.   

[Nigeria letter] I would gladly send my bank account information overseas.  They'd laugh when they saw nothing there.  20% of nothing is how much?  I would probably get sued for defamation or something like that. Who falls for those con games?

[Canadians are back] Tipping is not a law. It is an option of the customer for services rendered. If the server isn't worth a tip, don't tip. Why tip a rude, dirty, obnoxious person who could care less if you get decent service or not?  Tipping should be abolished and a standard wage for that type job, be set. Why should I tip 20 percent of a $20 dinner at one place and 20 percent of a $200 dinner at another place, when the servers do exactly the same actions?

I hope I am not imagining it, but I think I see crop circles in the mangroves behind my house. And the iguanas seem to be gathering large groups. Does this mean an anal probe is soon to come? Will they be gentle?

For all you thrifty Keywesters go to www.freelancebyu.com  Great place to save for
Hobo tubesteak dinners.

[proposed animal law] As a pet owner, I would like to see the proponents of this law provide their complete reasoning and justification behind each of the provisions of this ordinance.

If you want to see what jobs and people are really important to this planet, start reading the Yellow Pages and scratch off any job or business that we really don't need. You will wind up with about two pages and the covers left!

I want to complain about  "I want to complain about Jimmy Buffet' Hell, Buffet is good and he deserves anything he can get.  You are only worth what you can negotiate.  You are just envious.  I just found out my favorite song he does The I-95 a-hole song was written by (Fred Campbell).  Jimmy just covered it.

Where is Ashville?

Another tourist bashing the Marathon Seafood Festival. I'm a local and go every year and love it.

Ah, gee wiz, I just read that Churches are struggling in the aftermath of Katrina. Isn't that a shame? I guess we all better send those bull s**t sellers and blood sucking bums money, and let them get away without paying taxes again, eh?  I hear it will take at least a whole month for them to be back in the green again. It's a tough life working one day a week for billions a year!

Is there a Club forming for UFO Contacted people in Big Pine Key?  We need one because we are trapped in our closets and need to expose ourselves to tell the truth. The only people who believe us are Jesus lovers, and they too, need the exposure. Come help us come out at the next UFO Party in the Park.

[Jimmy Buffett. Don't pay the price] That will leave seats for us who don't care about the cost to see J.B. You're a tourist evidently. Next year put J.B. in your budget and you will have a great vacation.

"When I grow up, I'm not going to read the newspaper and I'm not going to follow complex issues and I'm not going to vote. That way I can complain when the government doesn't represent me. Then, when everything goes down the tubes, I can say the system doesn't work and justify my further lack of participation."
-Calvin and Hobbes

Who stated they thought Winn Dixie is better? Twice last week I got up to the counter with a few items and saw 2 long lines meaning only 2 cashiers working. I then put my stuff back and left. They do not care about the service of the customer but only cutting costs. A lot of us are still stupid enough to shop there. I told the wife to make me a list and I will travel off the island to shop elsewhere. If a lot of us started shopping elsewhere they would sure add some cashiers. Hopefully they won't recover from bankruptcy and will make room for another grocery store. Anything has got to be better.

Their stock was selling for 28 cents last week. It is way to much for that company. I guess the managers they bring in can't really provide service, but only can find ways to cut costs and treat the customers terribly. That must be how they get their bonuses. Apparently the manager doesn't have any resources or doesn't know how to use them. Now CVS is another customer dis-service company. I can't wait till Walgreens comes into town and drives the CVS out of Big Pine.

I know I will never step foot into CVS again when Walgreens opens their doors. I am sure a lot of other people are disgusted with their pharmacy service or should I say customer dis-service? CVS is another company that keeps costs low and screws the customer. They should hire more pharmacists. Walgreens can fill a prescription in 30 to 45 minutes. CVS says come back in about 3 to 4 hours and we may have your prescription filled, but don't count on it.

A lot of times they don't have your prescription filled when they say they will. It is the worst pharmacy I have ever had to deal with. That is because there is no competition here. I now go to Walgreens in Marathon or Key West. I am always at one or the other during the week so I get our prescriptions filled at Walgreens. I hope enough people get disgusted with both stores and shop elsewhere. I wonder if my trip off and back to the island (because of bad service here) is counted in the travel studies done by the county to keep businesses out. That would be ironic.

After much research, it could be that the Skunkape is actually part of the orangutan family....a cross breed from monkey island

I like the Drain Clog Ape.  He ranks right up there with Travelocity's Roaming Gnome.

All the Food Festivals are rip offs! I haven't seen any locals selling stuff for years. The vendors are all Road Vendors who travel from event to event selling God knows what quality eats.  I won't buy any of it. There ought to be a law "Local venders only."

I do not remember hearings on these new pet laws. What I do know is that the county has no business getting involved with peoples' pets. If you want a license fine but do not tell me how to keep my pet.

[Another Trailer Park in Marathon Bites the Dust] While everyone was looking the other way (towards the east to Jolly Rodger)  Cay Club offered the owner of Ocean Breeze West, on 11^th street in Marathon, $9.25 mill to purchase park.  Homeowners Assn exercised First Right of Refusal and picked up the purchase offer. Marine Bank offered a Bridge Loan to secure property until individual mortgages could be arranged.  Homeowners put up $100k escrow funds. The offer was accepted. They had 90 days to close.

The Home Owners Assn immediately offered to sell their option to Cay Club for $2 million.  Cay Club waited until very last minute, to eliminate the possibility of other investors to decline the option purchase.  Marine Bank faded into the wood work.

By selling their option the residents would have been given aprox $50k each to use for relocation and recouped some of their initial investment. By refusing the option Cay Club has made the “Wait ‘em out and Toss ‘em out” choice.  So as you read all their articles about doing good works for the community, remember they had an opportunity to do the right thing by another group of residents in the name of community and work force housing. Instead they will be handing out eviction notices and 100% losses to each resident. By offering the park to Cay Club the residents may have negated their protection under the moratorium against re-development. 

Cay Club now owns all of 11^th street except for two locations, which they are hard after.  Hasn’t anybody wondered about the ramifications of placing our harbor and airport in their hands?  Cay Club owns Marathon Marina at the west end of Boot Key, Sombrero Resort at the east end of Boot Key. They want the lease on City Marina in the very middle of Boot Key and now they’ve just gotten the Airport lease.  Who are we selling out to really?  Where it this cash coming from really? Cay Club and Pritham Singh. A match made in hell for Marathon. Big Pine take heed.

While visiting America, I have noticed one thing. Why do all the people who are over populating your country, look like the people on The Jerry Springer Show?

[FCC rulings this week on obscenity] It makes me sad that the FCC is about to make it impossible for comments like "Hauling balls"  to make it on the air, since apparently everything has to be entirely appropriate for five-year-olds or it can't be on TV. In this week's FCC news: "Bullshit" is pretty much always going to get you a fine; "dickhead" is not. Just so you know. I quote directly: "For the reasons stated below, we find 'dick' and its derivative, 'dickhead,' not to be patently offensive in this context, whereas we find 'bullshit' to be patently offensive in this context." So apparently, the parents out there don't want their kids to start saying "bullshit," but don't mind if they start calling each other "dickhead."

You know, those are the kinds of distinctions that only a small, lean government taking the attitude that citizens are best equipped to handle their own lives can possibly be expected to draw. I mean, my mother totally would not have cared as between my use of those two words. Shows you what she knows.

I just tried to get to a human at Bell South to fix a phone problem.  611 is for repairs. Sure it is! You have to talk to a computer, speak perfectly in Spanish or Redneck and then do it several times to get anywhere. Hey BellSouth, put a human English speaking US Citizen to work!  Your system ain't making it.

www.FairInsuranceRatesinMonroe.com March 21,2006

Get your Iguana tags at Jiggs, No Bag Limit.  You have to have a current valid hunting permit.  Bow season opens in a couple of weeks.  The Iguana Killer Club clubhouse is the best place to find information on hot spots.  All of the canals are full of them.  All you need to bring in is the tail for credit and tagging.  16 is minimum age with adult supervision, there is a women’s division also. 

Can anyone please tell me where there may be a sandy beach area that I can take my elderly dog to lie in the water?  His days are numbered and I want to make the remainder of his life as happy as possible.  He loves the water.  I know lots of places via boat but he can no longer ride on the boat because of his hips.  I also know of places by car, but they are either rocky or difficult for him to get in the water.  I need an easy sandy beach area via car w/o much walking and I don't want to go to the one in KW next to Louie's.  Any input would be appreciated.

Is it just my computer screen, or did you find a green Conch Republic flag somewhere? Love having the TV up and running. Thanks loads. Big Pine TV

Wednesday March 22, 2006

Tuesday March 21, 2006

I just wanted to comment on the passing of an era. Will Soto the tight wire, juggler, gymnast, civic minded, old hippie dude, great guy with the bluest eyes you ever seen is hanging up his Sunset act after 30 years. He has been a staple in street theater in KW and entertained 10's of thousands nightly. Anyone who has come to Key West has seen him. He represents where we were long ago when the island was a secret paradise and life was a little slower and people were a whole lot cooler. Thanks Will for all these years of burning our freak flag and being a stand up guy. The new school will never know KW the way we did and will never understand the beautiful simplicity we shared. Good luck in Ashville and Rock on dude!

I want to complain about Jimmy Buffet, you know the regular guy who made it big. His tickets for his shows now are $125 and up for regular seats which, of course, means $250 from scalpers. Remember the time you could see a show of his for 20 bucks? What happened? I think I know. All the yuppies got into him and now buy all the tickets in advance. He isn't Elvis or Frank Sinatra, hell he isn't even the Rolling Stones. It's a shame, but I guess, That's Life.

If George and Ted Nugent are related--how about Murray and Bicycle Joanie Nelson?

Do iguanas eat marijuana plants?  Now that is a good question!  I bet they would and I would like to watch them afterwards.

I've been to the polls, standing in line, waiting to vote on a millage, with John and Joan Q. Public standing close by with their two 18+ year old sons. These kids didn't own a house, or pay taxes, they just lived with mommy and daddy and were being instructed as how to vote by the parents. This scenario is the best example I can think of as to why tax payers should have the say instead of simply being a resident and voicing someone else's opinion. I know what the current rules are, so save your breath on that one, just please explain the reasoning behind it.

[Alien abductions] Anal probes? Sounds like the government has been extra busy lately. Bend over and grab your ankles. April 15 is just around the corner.

I've already ordered a copy of Raising Mama from Authorhouse, and Larry Sullivan is going to autograph it for me.  Even if you didn't like Larry's politics when he was in BPK, you've got to admit, he's smart!

Why the US Navy is better than the Iraqi Navy

Hunks

Hunks not

Island roofing is great. Dennis is the owner, great guy and very fair. Tell him Matt sent you. You will be very satisfied.

The Wilma DVD can be ordered online at www.marrerostudio.com; it is well worth the $10. The delivery is fast and footage phenomenal.

Florida biker and his babe

IKC (Iguana Killer Club), meeting this weekend went great.  We cruised the canals and got over 35 Iguanas.  The tails are hung in the clubhouse for all to see.  The winner of this weeks tournament was Jif with 14 kills, Way to go Jif!  Next meeting is April 1, No high powered rifles this time.  Shotguns and 22’s only, 17 Hornadays are ok too.  Bring the whole family for loads of fun.

Linda's Chili Relleno's
4- lg poblano peppers fresh
1- (8 oz) pkg. cream cheese
8 oz  shredded cheddar cheese
1- can enchilada sauce

Char the peppers on the grill until the outer skin is black. Place them in a paper bag to cool. When cool enough to handle, remove the charred skins and split the side to remove the  seeds and membranes. Do not rinse the peppers, as this will remove the great smoky flavor. Divide the cream cheese into four equal portions. Stuff each pepper with a portion of cream cheese and  approximately 1 oz of cheddar. Fold the pepper together at the split seam and  place in a baking dish. Cover the peppers with the enchilada sauce and the remaining cheddar. Bake in 375° oven for 35-45 minutes or until cheese is  melted and bubbly . Serve with saffron risotto and a mixed baby greens salad.
Serves 2-4

What is the link for the traffic cams on US1? It was on, I think, last week's Kudos & Whiners. Archives>March>Thursday March 16

Here is a suggestion. Call for another vote for de-designation and vote against it; or is upsetting Murray Nelson too scary?

I thought I was buying a refurbished laptop from BestBuys.com. When it got here it came from ubid.com and the vendor was Dollar Computer Corp from Tustin Ca. aka dollarcomputer.com. I got it for work, to use in my truck. The battery was no good, no the battery was NFG!  The laptop is no use to me, none, zero, zip. To date, almost 3 weeks later, I've  made 8 phone calls and I still don't have a laptop I can use. All I get is lip service, "the battery's on it's way," "give it another couple of days." That's like, "the check's in the mail."  I've disputed the amount via my credit card co. Boys and girls, my point is, don't do business with ubid.com or dollarcomputer.com.  You've got it! Please feel free to pass their names along to your friends and family.  

You can see who our local sexual predators are on: http://familywatchdog.us/   It gives last known address, the crime, and a photo.

You can get the Wilma movie at Exit Realty in Big Pine. It is great, isn't it?

[Mandatory drug and polygraph tests] Our boss doesn’t require a drug test from us, he knows he doesn’t pay us enough to afford drugs.  

[Larry Sullivan] I thought he was gone. I thought he went some other place to fix all their problems and get his nose so far into their business it would take a doctor to remove it. Now I see a post that he pushing a book. I hope it has a bunch of pictures. I can't think of a thing that he would write that I would read.

Wow! Last night was a trip. Some woman "Helen Queen Lobster" rammed into the Seahorse Trailer Park with her new Yukon SUV and tore up one man's trailer and a Dodge Ram truck and had to be removed by the jaws of life. Word was she was either high on pain killers, drunk, had a seizure or something that messed her up!

Comm Dixie Spehar says she doesn't want to be part of the gang of three and now is starting to regret her note for de-designation of an area of Critical State Concern, but doesn't know how to remove herself from the gang of three.

All of you wannabe's who claim you are "Conchs" get over it!   A Conch is a native born Keys native not a transplant from other parts of the country or even other parts of Florida.  I wrote the post about unfair treatment of non-resident homeowners as it related to higher windstorm insurance costs when compared to resident homeowners costs and I find it very interesting that some of the posts in response talked about the government needing to take care of Conchs first.  I bet the vast majority of you who claim to be Conchs are not even close.

I am a 3rd generation Florida native (known as a "Cracker" to you wannabe's) and I am certain I have more of an interest and history in the Florida Keys than most of you who claim to be Conchs.  This is not in any way meant to address the few true Conchs that still tough it out to live in the Keys, but rather the outspoken Conch wannabe's that have moved to the Keys as residents from N.J., N.Y., Mi. or where ever else.

I will say it again, fairness in the insurance rates is necessary for all property owners in the Keys.  This is not a developer issue. Developers do not own private residences. They develop them and sell them. People who own homes in the Keys should be treated equally when it comes to insurance.  No this is not New Orleans where dirt bags should complain that the government should take care of "us" and I will bet you dollars to donuts that true Conchs don't want or expect a handout or different treatment than other Florida native Crackers!

How dare you even insinuate that our dear Sister Kate is the evil woman in that disgusting photograph? Holy Mother Teresa! Why our Sister Kate is a saint herself, as chaste and pure as the driven snow, she is. This saintly woman would never even think of flashing her mammarys for the likes of vermin like you! And Captain Dan? He is a good and godly man, he is. Good Captain Dan is a life member of the Knights of Columbus, Knights of Malta, and is the Exalted Ruler of the Big Pine Chapter of the Ancient Order of Hibernians. The man walks on water, he does. You must repent immediately, begging our forgiveness for speaking ill of these two holy people!

I’m not Marc Carter’s mo, but he is my “Daddy”.

Great to hear from you, Larry Sullivan!  I ordered your book as soon as it was available, and it's really good.

If you are getting an anal probe, and hear the words, "Squeal boy, squeal," it's probably not from an alien.

To the editor. Another typo on your Big Pine TV page, if you're interested.  To the left of the screen it says "This is one of the few live webcams on the internet that we now of."  Shouldn't that be "know of"?  Thanks for getting it working again! (Ed: Thanks. Today's the day that we correct typos. At least we're getting the dates right.)

If you are looking for a roofer I recommend Bob Chinnis Roofing. They did two roofs in metal v-crimp for me and they look great.  They were fast and I think the price was reasonable.  Bobs' number is 923-1300.

Want to be in the movies? Filmmaker Quincy Perkins and his students from the FKCC-Tropic Cinema course "Filmmaking: From Street to Screen" are closing down Duval Street between Fleming and Southard this Wednesday afternoon (March 22) for a grand parade extravaganza. The block will be filled with floats, fireworks,
magicians, classic cars and famous Key West faces, all being shot with
high-definition video equipment donated by Sony.

The film will be edited into a short by the students and shown at the Tropic Cinema. Join the fun.  Be an extra.  It's your fifteen minutes.  Grab it. Come any time between 1:30 and 6:00pm. Bring your friends.  Stay ten minutes or the whole time!

[machine gun to fire between the propeller] It's a simple cam lobe that actuates the firing mechanism on the gun(s). 

[Homeowners Self-insurance Company] Are you kidding? We the People can't even think straight about electing someone to do our maintenance for us, let alone get it together enough to organize such a thing. Self-insurance is the way it should have been all along. But we are too greedy and stupid to save our money for disasters; and nobody wants to take responsibility for their own actions. This is one thing that is killing this country.

[Needing a new roof] I got the run around calling every roofer in the Keys after Wilma.  Victor's Roofing called me back within two days after my call; and within one month I had a beautiful roof put on.  we're very happy with their work.  When you call, leave a message.  Call him again if you have to and leave another message. Eventually he will call back. 

I have deposited the sum of 12.6 million dollars with a security firm abroad whose name is withheld for now until we open communication. I shall be grateful if you could receive this funds and keep it safe. This arrangement is known to you and my son Mustapha alone, so my son will deal directly with you as security is up my whole being. I am seriously considering to settle down abroad in a friendly atmosphere like yours as soon as this fund get into your account so that I can start all over again if only you wish, but if it is impossible, just help me in diverting this fund into your account which will accrue you 20% of this fund. Please honesty is the watch word in this transaction.

I will require your telephone and fax numbers so that we can commence communication immediately and I will give you a more detailed picture of things. In case you don't accept please do not let me out to the security as I am giving you this information in total trust and confidence. I will greatly appreciate if you accept my proposal in good faith. (Ed: This must be real. I'm sending them my bank account numbers right now...and my social security number too. Just in case they need it.)

Try Island's Roofing. He has been roofing over 20 years and Dennis (owner) is a great guy. You can reach them at (305) 896-3032.

[how do others feel about the landscaping around Boondocks]  Yeah, it looks really natural, just like Disneyworld.  That is the look we're going for BPK, isn't it?

Who keeps sending the pictures in of the "Drain-clog Ape"? I see it was in front of the Moose Lodge. It looks precisely the same as the other photos, like in a tree or what-not. You need to work on your Photoshoping skills.

A few thoughts on the Bush bashers. The first one asks what he has done for us that has been good for us. Let me ask you this hypothetical question. If you were president of the U.S. and entrusted with ensuring the safety of millions of people and looking at Saddam's past record, and virtually 100% of every legitimate intelligence report stating that he had WMD would you really have preferred making out with an intern than doing something about the Iraq situation? Every credible source said he had the weapons (I personally believe that at the time he did have them).

Millions of lives could hang on your decision. Do you really think you have some super wisdom that says you are right and all the rest are wrong? Remember if there are 20 people in a room and 19 of them have one opinion and one has another view it doesn't mean necessarily that one person has a greater insight. It may just mean that there is always one that just doesn't get it. Also regarding another post, do you really believe there is enough money on this planet to satisfy the majority of people claiming benefits from the hurricane in New Orleans?

Did anyone else waste their time and money at the Seafood Festival in Marathon? I guess the next time I am in the mood for something worse than a poop sandwich and want to stand around with no place to sit and eat it while listening to children bang loudly on instruments while looking at the same stuff I see at the flea market for free I will run up to the Marathon Seafood Festival.

Tuesday March 21, 2006

Monday March 20, 2006

Woo-hoo to Big Pine TV! That is really cool.  I was looking for the skunk ape but my computer is too slow.

Gee, we missed the three year anniversary of the Iraq war yesterday. Were we supposed to celebrate our success?

[Making people who have a 2nd home here pay higher windstorm. This is ridiculous]You might be right or you might be wrong but let's make sure the Conchs can buy a 1st home and then we will worry about a second home.

[Green beer photo]  Woh! Was that a man who has bad pecks or was that a BPK women with the beer belly? I do not want to see that again, good thing St Patty already ran all the snakes out of town. Do not click on that picture of Montego Bay party.

So happy to see BP TV operational again especially with the Conch Republic flag to boot. Hey Ed: There is a typo 3rd line down.  "Only five viewers it at a time."  Quirky but you may not have been aware.

Help. I need a new roof, but roofers are a little hard to find at the moment and I don't know the good from the bad. Has anyone used Keys Roofing or Islands Roofing?  Are there any recommendations on who to call and who to avoid?

Everyone's going around saying that Katie Delaney is really Captain Dan's younger sister. She doesn't look like him at all. I just don't see any resemblance. Did she ever drive in NASCAR? Did she ever cook up great prime rib? Did she ever run a poker game in the back room? Of course not. I rest my case.

Some progress on Big Pine!  The new roof on Century 21 building at the light is beautiful.  I hope they put tin on it. They turned quite a mundane little building into a work of art.  Kudos to whoever drew that one up.

I will note as others have complained in the past that the pool people across the road have gone to the trouble to stretch out their canvas signs that are left making that look better.  Big Pine Cafe put in plants and landscaping that looks great and when the new bank building is done I can pray for a couple of palms put there to brighten up the place a bit.  Sea Center also has some greenery now in front of the store.  We have a long way to go, but how do others feel about the landscaping around Boondocks!  I think it is fabulous. With the rustic thatch roofing and fantastic groups of huge palms swaying in the breeze and lovely green grass everywhere.  I guess it would be too much to dream that someone could do similar here (like at Conch & Stein).  That must be one heck of an investment and I pray it pays off for those investors.

Congratulations!  Great to see the Webcam operational again!

[mandatory drug and polygraph tests]  This is a great idea except the Bubba System would not keep it a secret.  That's the Bubba System motto.

[Capt Dan does it again with his free green beer at the old Montego Bay St. Patrick's Day party] You didn't mention the picture of the cow milking contest.

"Florida Keys...hideout from reality."  That works.  I like it.

These alien abduction stories are very interesting.  I've never had the experience myself, but I'm always curious.  Anybody have anything positive to say about it or are they all negative?

This web site is great! It's the Washington Post, Times Picayune, National Enquirer, Wall Street Journal, Mad Magazine and the Watch Tower all rolled into one handy object to be mounted opposite the commode!  (Just kidding. The editor deserves a Pulitzer! You do a fantastic job!)

[pizza debate] Most of the frozen pizza pies at Winn Dixie are way better than any offered by anyone around here, and for $30 you can afford to feed about 10 people.

Where can I get the DVD of Wilma?

[The great Pizza Debate] I have been ordering from Big Pine Pizza for the last seven years, and my last order consisted of two 14 inch, 2 topping pizzas, 1 lb. wings, 2 liters of Pepsi and a large chef salad. The total bill was $31.15. Price's are fair and the food is the best.

[alien abduction]  Are you sure that you just weren't in the back room at 801 bourbon?  They like to explore orifices.  You should really have your head checked, dude.  It scares me that I share an island with the likes of you.

The Swampape spotted again.

Great clean-up efforts on Sunday!  Eden Pines Colony Property Owners Assoc. and many of us in the community would like to thank Larry Conley for his never ending and tireless work in keeping our canals clear of trash.  He picks up trash in the canals every time he is on the water and has been an inspiration to other boaters to pull back the throttle to neutral and pick up the debris on the way out and in.  Let's all try to make an effort to bring along an extra trash bag for this and follow Larry's lead. 

Those of us living on canals have an obligation to secure our garbage so it does not blow into our beautiful waters. They're looking crystal clear and thank you for not throwing your fish remains into the canals.  Big time Kudos to Larry Conley for his work.   

Great car show at Knuckleheads on Sunday!   Nice crowd, too.  Keep them coming!

The Key West Chickens are not eatable unless you like lice, ticks, dirt, and the other nasties they carry. They are a plague for cock fighting loving mutants who cannot stop trying to change American into the trash land they came from.

I am one of those big orange iguanas everyone keeps writing about, so I figured I would take a moment out of my busy day to tell you a little about my life. I drifted over here on a raft from Cuba and landed on Big Pine about a year ago. I tried to make my home in Eden Pines, but those big-bellied, chain-smoking toothless humans kept shooting at me. Why do the ones that look like that always have enormous mates? And why so many offspring? And what is that horrible wailing noise coming from those sound boxes? Anyway, I got out of there and tried to live in the woods. It was a little better but when I tried to cross the road for food or water someone would always try to run me over; usually those big metal things with a bird head on the side. To make matters worse, my kind has to share the island with those retarded, inbred green iguanas. Those creatures are dumb as posts; all they do is poop, eat flowers and breed. They should all be put on a boat and sent back to where they came from. That is all I have to say. Thanks for listening.

Kudos to the new chapter of the ACLU in KW.  The Constitution is in terrible danger under this administration. Our Bill of Rights is in great peril.

If you think our country has ever been looked up to by other countries you need to get your head out of your a**.  If you care you have an altogether different problem.

I can not wait until my Cuba opens to the Americans, and I can go back there and rebuild my home and life the way I want it. Desea la libertad viva, e viva de Cuba de largo.

The machine guns in the old fighter planes were synchronized by a timing chain linked directly to the engine

Hooray for BPTV! Now all we need is some awesome audio to go with it. Where are all the iguanas?

[The ACLU only tries to preserve our Bill of Rights] Does that include the second amendment?

[Why I don't like Bush] That would be anyone with an IQ over 50.

Got a DUI? Read these links:  http://msnbc.msn.com/id/11685394/   http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11734019/from/RL.3/

[Larry Sullivan]  Well, my new book is out.  I'll be in the Keys later this year to plug Raising Mama.  However, I know that Steve at the Barometer will call (800) 839-8640 and get himself a free, review copy of Raising Mama and then we're off at the races.  As we know, everything Keys in book form sells.  Ah, the satisfaction of  knowing the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce office is selling Raising Mama to the goobs, I mean tourists.  Of course, there is a Keys adventure in Raising Mama.  However, the book I'll write about our Keys experience will be named Gooberville.  I know guys like Chuck and Capt. Don will just rush out and get a book.  Chucker, It's easier to just go to AuthorHouse.com.  Come by the book signing and I'll autograph it for you. P.S. See you at Kelly's Caribbean Bar & Microbrewery later this year.   Fred Tillman, the owner, may not like me, but he knows what sells.

Are the Keys really a haven for inept thinkers and those hiding from reality?  Yep.  And that's the way we like it!

The usually docile non-homesteaded homeowners (Snowbirds) surprised county officials yesterday when they launched an all out assault on the tax assessor's office.  The birds, waddling up to the clerk's desk, weapons in hand, demanded that they get the same privileges as locals.  "Why should we be expected to pay more than these local hicks?" shouted what appeared to be their leader (they all look alike). The clerk, attempting to explain that Florida, like all other 50 states, require residency in order to vote, was  soundly dismissed. "Balderdash!" cried the leader. "We don't need no stinking residency, we have M-O-N-E-Y.  Without us, you ignorant inbreeds couldn't exist! Viva la revolution!"

[The ACLU only tries to preserve our Bill of Rights]  The only "rights" the ACLU is concerned about is that of drug dealers to do business, which will be severely hampered by the so called "spy towers".

Monday March 20, 2006

Sunday March 19, 2006

You've got to love Big Pine!  Whose idea was it to post a picture of a marijuana plant on the posting for the plant clinic?  Hey folks, lets all go to the Charter School and smoke weed!  Why not show a pentagram for the church dedication posting?  Do iguanas eat marijuana plants?

How about this for a Keys Logo Sign?

[Homeowners Self-insurance Company]  What a fantastic idea. We create our own rates.  Kind of like the Green Bay Packers.  We would all be shareholders. In order to  keep the big guys out. Each family could only purchase one share in order to prevent  dominate shareholders to buy out the company and increase rates.  Problems? Yes, like establishing enough revenue to pay out in case of storm damage.  However, we could make it a long term process that would require maybe five years of input into government CDs or other secure deposits.  Farfetched? No. Let me give you an example:  A few years ago, The city of Marathon was to take over Key R/V Park  Their excuse was the septic system.

Please excuse me for not having all the facts, but do not miss the point I'm trying to make. At that time Key R/V park owned the land and rented it to R/V owners. When talk came up about a condominium going to be built there guess what the homeowners did?  They created their own condominium association.  Now they cannot be touched. Whoever said that R/Vs could not be condominiums?  Anyway that is simply an example to point out that anything can be done.  Any of you out their with legal experience may be able to provide some input to this situation, and it would be welcomed.

I, to was taken. I have never shared this with anyone, not even my wife of of 37 years. They hurt me very bad and often. I was in a kind of daze but I felt everything. They probed all my openings and I am sure they implanted something. This happened in 1976 for the first time. There have been many since then. I, like the man who was fishing, found myself at a meeting place of there choice and at some very odd times. I feel that I have an implant because they seem to know when it's ok to make me come to them without anyone else missing me. I think they see thru my eyes and hear what I hear. I find it hard to talk about the things they have done to me, but I will tell you that they stopped taking me after I had a vasectomy some years ago. Maybe I am just too old or no longer able to give them what they need. Well there it is, I said it out loud and it feels good. Thanks to the guy telling his story. I no longer feel so alone; and yes, we are not alone...

Has anyone said that they're sorry to George Bush yet because there were weapons of mass destruction?  Everyone owes him an apology.

[Redistribution of wealth] Let me get this straight. I go to school and get an education and continue to work up the ladder of whatever business I choose.  I work up to three jobs as a youngster, then settle in on a lifetime business which to say the least is dawn to dusk work with nights in the shop repairing equipment.  I finally start seeing the light at the end of a long tunnel.  Mortgage notes are being paid off; more leisure time is available and long dreamed of trips are taken.  I purchase the family vacation home here in the Keys from other family members and continue to enjoy wonderful winter get-a-ways.  I accumulate more wealth thru, not just the sweat of my brow like the old days, but thru investments.  That money that the government had taxed when I made it the first time and now I pay tax on the dividends and interest again.  Last year I paid over $130,000 in taxes and this year looks to be even more. That is a drop in the bucket to what the top 10% of Americans pay.  This is capitalism, this is how the system works.

You work; pay taxes and a limited government can pay for minimal basic services. Then when I die a lot of what I own will be taxed one last time in a death tax which for over two million dollars in accumulated is at a 50% rate.  The USA is not a large pig that all of us suck on. The USA is us working and paying taxes and keeping government as small as possible so that we can enjoy the best life here on earth.  It works, it is the best system and if you choose not to educate yourself and if you choose to drink and or drug your evenings away instead of adding to your workday, that is your choice and I owe you nothing. 

Those of you not even filing a 1040, hear this! Those days are just about over because now when you pay your personal property taxes in most states you have to file a copy of your 1040 to the local government; and if you cannot then an investigation shall begin and you too shall start contributing to your country.  God, I love computers and spy cams.  We are going to finally be able to put all the low life in jail and live in utopia as it nearly is now.

If you think Marc Carter is a sexy mo'fo, you must be his mo' (mother).

We did have a Medicine Shoppe on Big Pine Key.  It failed.

I have been wintering on Big Pine for ten years from upstate New York and I don't know why they don't fix the potholes at the Key Deer intersection. And that traffic light needs to be synchronized so I don't have to wait so long. (Note: this is a fake complaint- I just wanted to give you an idea of the boring comments typically printed in the Citizens Voice. This web site is in danger of becoming just like the Voice. Fight this meaningless griping- send in interesting and amusing comments. Save this Site! 

I saw a South Park episode in which Cartman had an anal probe. He kept denying anything happened, but flames kept shooting out his rear it got so bad he even set the cat on fire. I sure hope my alien-abducted neighbor doesn't start doing that, but I guess in a pinch I could use him to light my charcoal grill.

Saturday morning boating down Eden Pines canal to the waterway we counted Iguanas. On one mangrove encrusted lot there were 16 on another 12 and on the large tree going out of the canal there were 8.  I have been going out this same canal since the early 60's and up until the last 5 years never had seen one of them except in Key West hanging off the old hippie that used to bike around with about 10 of them.  I have noted that they do not like being chased with a broom and they are not coming back to my land as for now.  I hope and pray that those out there with the pellet guns will kill as many of these pests as possible and I thank you for doing our area a needed service.  Watch out or the PETA whackos and environmentalists will start using these vermin as another way to pass ridiculous laws for homeowners to have to follow. Stand up for your rights as property owners.

I was never a Philadelphia Eagles fan, but I had to take my hat off to them the way they eliminated the cancer they had on their team named Terrell Owens.  Now it's reported the Dallas Cowboys will take their turn with this guy whose ego is even bigger than Moose's. (hard to believe) So, with Bill Parcels (whose ego is not as large as Moose's) already there. It just gives us one more reason to hate the Cowboys.

[Tree huggers: If it wasn't for us you'd be living here on "Miami Key."]  Si, and breathing would be a little bit tougher to do too!  Save the Trees, band babies.

Not allowing a non-homesteaded  homeowner to have a say in the tax structure reminds me of the beginnings of a little skirmish called the Revolutionary War. Taxation without representation, don't you know?

He has had people thrown in prison without being charged with a crime and no legal recourse. (Gitmo) Just imagine if some other world leader arbitrarily decided to throw people into prison on his whims and there was no system in place for a trial.

Bush has also decided that he is above the law regarding wiretaps. I think that people tend to forget that the possibility for wiretaps was always there, but there was a requirement to get approval first. No big deal.

Our country is built upon checks and balances, but G. Dubya seems to think that he is above all that. Other reasons to dislike him include all of the shady dealing with the likes of Halliburton, etc and his disregard for the environment. Oh yeah, there is also that thing in Iraq where good men and women are dying because Georgie didn't think it through.

I could go on, but I think that you get the idea. There are lots of reasons to dislike Bush. It makes me sad to think that our great country that was once looked up to around the world now spawns protests and hatred, even among those countries that have traditionally been our friends.

The Pet Police now want us to spay our pets by four months of age of get arrested. If I got another cat I would want to let her have one litter so I could enjoy the new kittens for a while. I strongly object to that provision of the feral cat law.

[dude who shoots iguanas writes poetry]  I don't think poetry that starts with a line like, "There was once a young lady from Venus..." would be considered un-manly.

[Work force housing]  Call it what it is. Slave Quarters!

I wrote the bit about being skeptical of an A.   I just meant to suggest that relying on the "A" is lazy parenting.  It is representative of nothing more than a school's keen ability to stamp out good standardized test takers.   I am a good teacher in this district, as well as a parent, but I won't teach here next year.  The bottom line is the test (=money), at all costs. This is not teaching. It is regurgitating a Scott Foresman script onto a classroom full of unsuspecting, innocent guinea pigs.  They have no idea they're being robbed.  And your opinion of teachers fits well with the way we are made to feel around here.  Never mind that we are all college educated, many with graduate degrees, and have dedicated our lives to the service of children—Dance, monkeys, dance!  

I'm going back to college teaching where my job is to find creative ways to stimulate real understanding (with a $10,000 pay cut.  God help my mortgage payment). Guess what? I don't give tests and somehow they get excited about literature.  So there you have it Mr. or Mrs. B.C.--one more piece of your "deadwood" out of the system.   Many mistakenly think that teacher pay is the biggest issue, but I argue that pay doesn't matter so much when you love what you do. Hire great teachers and then treat them like the professional they are. Maybe then they'll feel good about what they do and stick around.  And we won't need to desperately and hastily hire replacements (anything with a pulse and a college degree). To answer your question ("Are you nuts?") I'm either nuts or I'm right.   

Ever reminding us that BPK is not just a retirement colony.  We are a thriving, vibrant community made up of a few of everybody (and yikes we have all kinds, don't we?)   It's what makes this place special.  Even if you didn't raise your children here, the children here are the future of this place (unless they can't afford to stay, and that's another story, as we know).  Here's your homework:  Take five minutes (y'all just shave it off your important iguana Internet research time) to reflect on how you feel about the future of education and of children in this community.  I love this place and I love this mysterious Ed for doing this thankless and very important job.

What a great day. Big Pine TV is back and so is NPR radio in Key West at FM 100.5.

I vote no more responses to these idiotic iguana posts & they will find something else to try to get us to feed off of.  Let's give it a trial run & see what happens.

[Conspiracy theory] All Americans, regardless of political affiliation must see this video. We must demand that the federal government answer these important questions to the American public, and not be swept under yet another cover-up rug.  The people must know the truth!

Does anyone know the mechanism that allows a machine gun to fire between the propeller on those old air planes? I just watched the Flying Tigers with John Wayne. They should really do a remake of that film. This time maybe use more Chinese and less Japanese playing Chinese and more about the Chinese-Japan war.

I beg to differ with the statement that there are only a few good looking women around.  When I do actually venture to the bar scene there is always more honey's than hunks. But I don't like to go out that much anymore so it makes it difficult to hook up. 

There is a new chapter of the ACLU in Key West and they are going to look into the Spy Towers. Most people don't like the ACLU. They don't realize that the ACLU only tries to preserve our Bill of Rights. That is their reason for being. Many people don't like our Bill of Rights and that is why they disparage this brave organization. Those that don't support the ACLU are un-American.

[Piner economic theory] This is a prime example of a idiot who knows nothing about business or how the worker in this country has been brought down to the slave state. When the Retail Price of a product is 100 to 10,000 times the manufacturing cost and the workers who make that product only receive 1 to 8% of the SRP, then there is something really wrong. Prices today are 100 times what they were in the 70's but wages are even less per hour then they were then. On top of that most products are made overseas at $.25 to $1.50 per hour. Yes, slavery is alive and well in the good old US of A!

Sunday March 19, 2006

Special Edition of
Kudos and Whiners

Saturday March 18, 2006

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

[About your neighbor and UFO's] I also was part of a UFO anal probe along with many other tests. They were very gentle and took their time. After returning to the same spot time and time again (I had no way of stopping myself. I think it was because of a small implant that was placed in my left ear.) It would awaken me at all hours of the night and I would find my self back at our meeting place. They never spoke to me; we just shared thoughts. Some years passed with no contact then I was yellow-tailing on the reef and I just found myself moving the boat, I ran for a long time thru Spanish Harbor, No Name bridge, out Big Spanish channel past Harbor Key NW about 330° for hours. I saw a light moving very fast just above the water. It was funny because it had red and green lights on it like port and starboard. It made no sound. I found myself once again with "them" when they returned me to my boat I was approximately 50 miles off Harbor Key. It was about five A.M. and 24 hours had passed. My wife had called the Coast Guard, and a few fisherman that know me, trying to find out what was going on. This was years ago. I have not been taken since. We are not alone.

[beating off a dead horse] I had an uncle who was trying to milk a cow but found out later it was a bull. He said the bull seemed to enjoy it, unlike the dead horse. 

[Where can I kill some iguanas] Have you checked out Blue Hole?

Why hate Bush aside from the war? Cutting spending for Education, Medicare, Veterans Affairs, (veterans...the fine folks who fought for our country), the EPA, and the list goes on. The very wealthy enjoyed a refreshing tax break, (the only time a tax cut was given during wartime). Yet, Congress had a nice pay raise at the end of last year. Yeah, they say the economy is strong, but we are drowning in debt. We are at the mercy of foreign interests to bail us out. The only "new jobs" Bush has created are all overseas. And as to hating the military? No. We can love the military and hate the war. We are wise enough to keep those ideas separate.

The cat video was great! I bawled and clapped like a doofus through the whole thing. Makes me want to go adopt one of my own.

So what's up with the True Art Bakery anyway? They are so rude, I guess they will have to learn what being a good neighbor in a small town means. And if not, Good Riddance

Dear American citizens, If I am responsible for the loss of 5 million jobs, yet rehire ten thousand, boy things are really looking up! If the real estate market, becomes overpriced for middle America- you can thank me. If minimum wage is below third world poverty level and gas costs are skyrocketing, I'll take those kudos too. If the lack of federal funding for stem cell research has resulted in the loss of more than 2,000 lives, that's okay, Americans are dispensable. Didn't I prove that by sending your children to be murdered in Iraq? Why approve funds to rebuild New Orleans? I don't have any personal oil profits from that disaster area. Thanks for your support suckers! Georgie Wuss Bush

[iguana shooter is getting all the babes]  Totally wrong!  This babe wouldn't give a first look at anyone that kills iguanas or any other animals.  Killing animals for no reason has nothing to do with manliness.

[Feral Cats] I had an elderly neighbor that fell in the canal and drowned a few years ago.  This man had at least 30 cats.  They had been trapped and fixed and brought back to him.  When he died another neighbor fed them for awhile then moved away.  The poor cats were sick and hungry.  No one poisoned them. They eventually scattered and a lot of them did die from disease.  Our indoor/outdoor cat even caught one of their diseases.  It was scabies.  Easily treated with Revolution.  For the writer who continually accuses people of poisoning feral cats it is not anyone in the Eden Pines subdivision even though I have heard you make these allegations.  Our family would never kill anything.  I even try to rescue all the lizards and bugs that come inside my house.  Without proof you'd probably be better off not to make allegations that are unfounded.   

[Evie's subs on Cudjoe]  I agree.  Evie's has great food from subs to pizza to a great cheeseburger.  The owners are very friendly too.  You can call in your order and they will have it ready when you get there.  I have been going there for years and I live in Big Pine. Its a bit of a drive but worth it.

[Cancel insurance]...if you're rich. I'm sure that the people that don't have a house up North to get an equity loan on and are holding on to their first and only homes here in the Keys by holding down two jobs or more per household will be getting in line to thank you. 

Word is now the 48 Hours special on Brandt has been postponed because of an ongoing investigation.  I checked out the website for CBS and that story is not listed as being shown this week. 

This is a vicious, ignorant, small minded thing to write about someone on hearsay. 

Where can I kill some iguanas? Go down any canal in Eden Pines and you can kill all you want.

[abducted by aliens] If he hates rap and country music, he has to be a good guy.

Congratulations "Bill."  You are the second Piner I know of who threw a garbage can at a habitual speeder.

Pro-Bush, blah, blah. Anti-Bush, blah, blah. Watch the House members up for mid-term elections drop him like a hot potato! Bush is an idiot and they're finally forced to admit it or loose. That's what counts in the our system.

[cure for jerks vote them out of office] Wow, when I put in the first cure for jerks I never thought it would gain life on its own. Anyway here’s my reply. Have Election Day the first Tuesday after April 15^th and just watch the political landscape change in a hurry.

[pizza debate] I ordered a medium pizza, 14 inches, with sausage, onion and tomato as well as a garden salad from 2 for 20 Pizza. The bill came to $12.99 for the pizza, $7.99 for the garden salad, and $1.50 for each topping, with tax it came to around $27.99.  I see this as a little ridiculous. The three topping pizza was less than ¼ thick and you could see the crust through the toppings. The garden salad was a container of lettuce, a few sliced tomatoes, and some peppers. I do not mind paying $30.00 or even $40.00 for a medium pie and a salad as long as I feel that I am getting what I am paying for--value.  As a restaurant person for many years, I know what the costs are to produce my order and obviously the price of the order is excessive.

I have ordered from 2 for 20 Pizza since they have opened and if they want to stay in business, they had better start giving their customers a little more value for the price that they are paying. It will not take much for someone else to open a pizza shop and take their business away.

[That's just how the economy works] At one time there was an attitude of giving folks the most value for the least possible price. While other car makers were charging over a thousand dollars per car Henry Ford found a way to build and sell his cars for $200 each, thereby allowing most average working people to afford one. Ford also paid the highest wages in the industry at the time.

During the depression Milton Hershey, (founder of the Hershey Candy Company) saw a huge steam shovel digging a foundation for a new section of the factory. He commented to his foreman, "That shovel really does some powerful work." His foreman replied, "Yes, sir. That steam shovel does the work of two-hundred men." Hershey then exclaimed, "Get that thing out of there and go hire two-hundred men!" Hershey also built comfortable houses for his workers and an institute to care for and educate orphans which still exists today.

I remember buying a bag of potato chips filled to the top for fifteen cents. Now they  pump the bag full of air with a few chips on the bottom and charge three dollars for it. Somebody in Key West said, "If we could figure out a way to get the tourists' money from them without them coming here at all we'd do it."

My friend Tom rents his nice efficiency apartment out to a working man for $300 per month. Sure he could get twice as much, but that would be greedy. It's not "just the way the economy works". That's a cop-out for crooked cheats. Somewhere along the line someone decided that it was OK to go out and cheat everyone and hog down for yourself. Today's attitude is "I do it because I can get away with it." Forget about it being right, or moral, or decent, or ethical.  

Are George Neugent and Ted Neugent related?

[Piner Economic theory] Before all you locals jump on the "higher insurance for non-residents" bandwagon, remember that any increase on a house that is rented to a local will be passed on to that renter.  

I just thought that I'd let you know about my latest CVS experience.  I called in my meds and there was a problem with my BP meds being filled too early to be comped by my insurance.  I am very careful with all of my medication and just couldn't see why this would happen.  Anyway, I needed them and told them to fill it anyway and I would pay full price.  I didn't really have a choice, you know.  Then when I got them, they shorted me 30 pills!  I'm supposed to take 2 per day, and I only got 30, not my regular 60.  This made me think that that's why I ran out quickly last month and if they shorted me 10 pills then, it would account for my having to call it in a few days early and pay full price.  To make a long story short, they are going to give me 40 pills and refund my total cost for this month's pills.

This isn't my gripe.  My gripe is that they should have computerized counters, not just some clerk that they jerk off of the floor and put a white coat on and call them pharm techs to count stuff.  Is there any board to report them to?  I love Janice, Ursula and Darlene, but these subs that they get to fill in are just not cutting it.  Have you ever looked at all of the prescription bags already filled in the bins?  They have too much to do.  I don't understand why we don't have a Medicine Shoppe around here.  I don't want Walgreens because of all of the crap that comes with that franchise, but a Medicine Shoppe in that building that has some space available next to Doc Grider's would be a great place for a Medicine Shoppe.  They are an independent franchise which means that one person owns the store.  That would be great. 

[Insurance will no longer subsidize the developers and will start taking care of us Conchs] I understand your pain but if you want a vacation home in paradise you will be paying more. The Conchs are not supporting the developers and snow birds, but you can move here and be covered under the homestead act. If you choose not to, remember, you will pay to play.

Someone told me that the dude who gets off shooting iguanas actually writes poetry. That sounds a little less than manly to me.

Marc Carter is one sexy mo'fo! I love you, honey!

Saturday March 18, 2006

Saint Patrick's Day 2006

Saint Patrick's Day Party Today

After 2pm the party will move to the Key Deer Bar & Grill at MM31 for the real party. they'll be party hats, etc. and at 5pm Sister Kate will be playing Irish music and all her Ditties. The holiday menu will be complete with Sheppard's Pie, Corned Beef and Cabbage, boiled potatoes, carrots, plenty of beer, etc. So come and party with your hosts Danny McLaughlin, Ester, Sister Kate, Barbara and her great crew. For more info call Dan at 872-1014

Why not let the state keep the Spy Poles and lower our Windstorm rates.

[You think Bush's doing well and it's the Democrats and the media that are making him look bad. What has he done that's good for us]  Well, let’s see. The stock market is at an all time high, the economy is strong, unemployment is down, interest rates are low, new small business starts are up, new home starts are up nationwide, we have had a tax cut, Saddam is history, the Taliban is in tatters and we have reached accord and agreement with India and there are other less notable items. 

Of course the liberals and the left wingers will believe anything the ultra left wing press/media and the Democratic Party spoon feeds them as gospel truth no matter how much they lie, distort and twist the truth.  If the Dems and lefties cry, "The Sky Is Falling" their followers, like a flock of sheep, will believe it and run for cover without bothering to look up.  If nothing else, at least George W. isn’t using the Oval Office for his own sexual flop house, isn’t selling the Lincoln Bedroom for $50,000 a night in illegal campaign contributions and hasn’t perjured himself and been disbarred.  Unlike Hillary, our First Lady is a lady and conducts herself with poise and dignity and isn’t involved in one sleazy, cheap scandal after another.  I’ll take our current President over the Clintonistas and the Dems anytime. 

[Alien anal probe] Dr. Grider has does that to me every year since I turned 50.

[Tree huggers] If it wasn't for us you'd be living here on "Miami Key."

[An A in school means bad things?] What are you nuts? Teachers have been strolling along since I went to school in about 40 B.C. (Before Computers) It's about time that they start rewarding good teachers and removing the strollers. The only way to do this is to have standardized testing. Get rid of the deadwood.

[Piner economic theory] It'd not that some greedy landlord will steal it from the worker. It's the fact that if everyone were paid a living-wage all employers and services would have to raise prices and everything would cost twice as much--including rents. This is how an economy works. It has nothing to do with greed. If all things cost more you'll have to raise all prices because all your expenses will have doubled.

Janet Reno getting funds to catch the Skunkape proves that the fix is in. She is a Skunkape.

[Internet Cafe] I went to one in Japan and the keys were all Japanese characters. What a challenge that was.

My truck got Wilma’d. The water came up to just below my carburetor. Thanks to the cartoon character you people call Jesus, a high rise manifold didn’t hurt either. I drained the oil / water out of the crank case, changed the dimmer switch, new starter, liquid wrenched the brake rotors, drained and re-oiled the rear differential (as there is a breather valve on it) I then took it to M&M and they cycled 6 cases of tranny fluid through the auto transmission.  I have been driving it ever since with no issues.

I wonder if anyone happened to take a photo of the old cracked urinal with rust stains on it which was left out in front of a million-dollar house down on Summerland. It sat there for weeks like a forgotten tombstone.

[Whining about whiners II] You are right. This is becoming the Citizens Voice Bitch Column.  Have you people no life?  You type on this column about killing animals, bitching about the Snow Birds, and anything else that doesn't please you.  What is your major malfunction?  Human beings, that is what your problem is.  God,  I hope this isn't contagious!

Being a parent is wanting to hug and strangle your kid at the same time.

Where can I kill some iguanas?  Where is the best place to shoot the most at one time.

[Marsh Rabbit] I saw two marsh rabbits, one raccoon and two Key deer all together on the side of the road past St. Peter's Curve just before they built the overpasses.

To the Bushie who thinks he's doing such a great job, but blames the media.  All your ranting must have gotten in the way of your original thought.  You didn't give one example of what you think is so outstanding about his job performance.  Perhaps it's because you can't come up with any.

What's the difference between a Kayak and a Canadian. A Kayak will tip.

It must be hard being a Bush supporter in Monroe County. The land of the Democrat.

Quit complaining about high insurance rates and do something real about it. Cancel it! I took out a home equity loan on a place up north and paid off my Key’s house mortgage.  I called my insurance agent recently and told them to cancel all my insurance. They were dumbfounded. Don’t be a lemming. Break the mold. The more people that cancel, the higher the rates will be for people who still have it.

[Re: Lizards, condos, hook-up guy etc.] For those Piners who just can’t give it a rest, Dead Horse Society products are now available at Café Press. http://www.cafepress.com/chesbayretvr.50309485

BPK Funny Fridays. Because it's St. Patty's Day... if you drink green beer tonight, try not to freak out tomorrow when you take your morning whiz.


Most major religions use hell as a deterrent to bad activity. But I find the concept of hell quite comforting because, hey, at least I'll know people there.
~Margot Black

I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: "People who smoke will eventually cough up brown pieces of lung." And, "Warning! Alcohol will turn you into the same a**hole your father was.
~George Carlin

When I was a kid, I was so short I had to blow my nose through my fly.
~Rodney Dangerfield

They keep saying assault weapons can be used as legitimate hunting rifles. Okay, I can buy that. You can also use a chainsaw to cut butter. It's just going to get a little messy around muffin time.
~Will Durst

For our anniversary, I got my wife one of those fur coat kits. A Velcro coat with a hundred gerbils.
~Tom Arnold

When I was about ten we moved because my father sold our house. Somehow the landlord found out about it, and we had to go.
~A. Whitney Brown

If they're making bowling an Olympic event, why not drinking and driving, or waking up next to a fat girl?
~Dave Attell

I have come to think of orgasms as the things that I have really quickly while the guy gets up to look in the refrigerator for something to drink.
~Merrill Markoe

I'm from the South, and I like a big woman. Cute in the face and thick in the waist. And with a big woman you ain't even got to buy them drinks; they get high from food.
"Ooooh, these chicken wings got me f*cked up."
~Jamie Foxx

When considering whether or not to have a metal stud put through your tongue or your bellybutton, or your genitalia, take lightning into account.
~Dennis Miller

I don't understand the body piercing movement. I see some guy's got eight rings through his eyebrows. I ran up and hung a shower curtain on his face.
~Harland Williams

Pro-life people shoot up a clinic and then say, "Jesus told me to do it." It's always somebody you can't get on the phone and verify.
~Shang

If you're so pro-life, don't lock arms and block medical clinics; lock arms and block cemeteries. Let's see how committed you are to this premise.
~Bill Hicks

This man was a bigot and a bedwetter. He used to go to Ku Klux Klan meetings wearing a rubber sheet.
~Woody Allen

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.
~Steven Wright

Waiters and waitresses are becoming much nicer and more caring. I used to pay my check, they'd say, "Thank You". That graduated into, "have a nice day". That's now escalated into, "You take care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check– the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."
~Rita Rudner

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
~Emo Phillips

If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
~Jack Handey

Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time, people are going to get out of the way. Cars, too!
~Jack Handey

I've a plan to take care of illegal immigration into this country. In California we have all these propositions, but I've got a plan: FLAMING RIVER OF GAS! All along the border. First, it would create jobs to help build the thing, but it would also be a tourist attraction. I'd drive a thousand miles to see a burning river of gas, wouldn't you? It'd be fun to see if somebody tries to cross it! If one guy gets across, we pat him down and throw him back. We could put a dimmer on it, so the flames would go on and off, and encourage more people to cross it. You could bring the family. "Hey, honey, I made it! C'mon bring the kids... FWOOSH!!!!
~Jake Johannsen

I used to drink a lot. You learn lessons from drinking. Things you never forget. One thing I learned, is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people, you know? And also, go around December... that's the best time. When you're out there in mid-July... and you're naked... with a bottle of Jack Daniels... outside your ex-girlfriend's house going, "Jingle BELLLLLLS!" ...a lot of people don't consider that caroling for some reason.
~Louis CK

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

In the Year 2000 predictions from Late Night with Conan O'Brien. I know that 2000 has come and gone. Conan knows that too. He just didn't want to change the title.

In the Year 2000:

-While still recovering from the affects of anesthesia, a delirious Bill Clinton will admit that he once had sex with Hillary.

-Star Jones announces that she is suffering from anorexia, which she contracted by eating Mary-Kate Olsen.

-Strapped for cash, Tito Jackson will disguise himself as a 12-year-old boy and demand a 2 million dollar payoff from his brother Michael.

-Pixar will anger many of the fans of their Toy Story movies when they release Toy Story 3: Buzz and Woody's Gay Vacation.

-Michael Jackson's son, Prince Michael II, will write a memoir in which he wistfully recalls that one glorious moment on the balcony when he nearly escaped.

-Christian fundamentalists will briefly reconsider their views on homosexuality when they find a bunch of misprinted bibles, that actually do say 'Adam and Steve.'

-UN weapons inspectors in Iraq will make a most horrific discovery beneath one of Saddam's palaces. Master tapes for a new Spin Doctors album.

-We will finally learn what makes French vanilla ice cream different from regular vanilla ice cream... cowardice.

-Chemists will discover what makes simple sugars simple. Their parents were brother and sister.

-There will be yet another spin-off of 'The Apprentice.' This time featuring O.J. Simpson and his signature catch phrase, 'You're Murdered.'

-Ball park franks will no longer plump when you cook 'em, but rather, moan when you suck 'em.

-People will automatically smile for pictures when photographers develop a flash that emits not only a sudden burst of light, but also the sound of Barbara Streisand being mauled by a bear.

-After the last 'Star Wars' movie ends its runs in theaters, loyal 'Star Wars' fans will return to their homes and jump out the window. Luckily, they live in their parents' basement, so no one is killed.

-On Christmas Eve, Michael Jackson will be visited by a ghost who takes him on a journey to christmas past. Unfortunately, Jackson will use the trip as an excuse to fondle himself as a child.

-Sales of Oscar Mayer Wieners will plummet when it is revealed their design is based on Oscar Mayer's actual wiener.

-Ryan Seacrest will admit that his catch phrase, 'Seacrest Out' is not a cheesy sign-off, but instead a heartfelt declaration of his homosexuality.

-General Motors will end all the juvenile Hummer jokes by renaming its popular vehicle the Knob Gobbler.

[cure for jerks is easy. Vote them out of office]  Not true- these turkeys have lots of bucks and protect themselves with cronies and lawyers and good PR people. Getting them out of office once they get in is like trying to pry a fat old tick off a hound dog. It has been said that the people who should run for office aren't interested; ego driven individuals seem to be the ones who run. The only viable option is a hit man from the Sopranos.

I thought Manley DeBoer used to play in the Root band, but I may be a little confused.

To find good looking men who aren't gay, you have got to have good looking women. Since there are only 3-4 nice looking single women running around down here, expect good looking hunks to go elsewhere.

Enough with the Iguana thing already.  If you like them, take one home.  If you don’t like them, shoot them and keep your mouth shut about it.  I’m tired of all the Iguana crap. (No pun intended)

[Sunshine Key shouldn't get a land use change permit to build condos] The money has changed hands, a few well connected developers and contractors have greased the correct politician’s and bureaucrat’s palms and the deal is done.  I had to tear out my downstairs storage enclosure because the bureaucrats said so and I can’t have a fence around my yard to keep the mangy deer out, but the fat cats can develop at will because they have the moolah to spread around.  Welcome to reality in Monroe County.

[I told you I was sick] Planning a day in Key Weird? Try a stroll thru the KW graveyard. Some of the cenotaphs on the headstones are a hoot, like the one that says, "At least I know where he's sleeping tonight."

Why is the speed limit the same when you enter Big Pine as it was before the fence was put up to protect Key Deer. I never see them anymore along that stretch of road. Is it just a speed trap?

[This chronic complaining is just like beating off a dead horse. No one is enjoying it, not even the horse] Hee, hee, I can't resist.  I think it's "beating a dead horse" that he doesn't enjoy,  not "beating off" the horse.  Who knows if he'd enjoy that?  You'd have to ask him;  of course he's dead, which might slow down his answer.  (Sheeesh, you people!)

This message is to the parties responsible for entering my property on Big Pine Key and taking my staghorn fern.  The fern weighed over 100 pounds and I hope you hurt your back removing it.  I have had the fern for over 30 years and it was given to me by my husband's mother.  It has gone through all the hurricanes and survived.  Who ever took this fern from me took a part of my heart with it.  I feel sorry for people (if you can call them that) who have no consideration for others' property.  If anyone knows who took my fern please email me. This took place the night of March 15th.

I agree with the post about too much whining. Try to recall goofy stuff about Big Pine. Near the top has to be the old beat-up boat someone dropped off right at the traffic light after hurricane Georges. It stayed there for months and they kept putting more and more red stickers on it, thinking that would intimidate the owner to haul it off. Guess some people got mad at that, but I thought it was hilarious. 

[Got Miner Report] You know, now that I have my nice little place down here I tend to agree with the "no change no development" folks.  I think the lots next door and across the road look much better without houses on them.  I could buy that property and keep it that way, but I'd much rather let the environmentalist do it for me.  I'm saving the planet and money at the same time!

Damn, now I've done it.  I knew it was a mistake to respond to the Bush bashers.  I've gone and stirred up the Liberal Borg hive.  Well since the damage is done let me ask you this, besides putting a crimp in the illegal drug flow, what has Bush done that has had any affect on you liberals?  And don't keep sighting the war.  We all know you people detest our wonderful military and couldn't give a rats ass what happens to them. Blaming him for the local government not responding properly to Katrina is also lame.  So what logical reason do you have for hating Bush? Try to keep your response unemotional, if you think you can do so without self destructing.

This is interesting.  Seems women use to prefer "sensitive" men.  But since 9/11, that trend has changed.  Now they want someone that can protect them.  Manliness is back. Oh geeze, that can't be good news for you touchy-feely tree huggers, can it? This means that the iguana shooter is getting all the babes.

[Skunk Ape/ Janet Reno article] You just cut-and-pasted something from the Corky Report (a humor webpage) from 2001. There is no such Institute. Welcome to the world of Googling, my friend. But Kudos on the attempt.

To the person who wrote wondering about "Tommy The Plastering Guy". I read the obituary, his child was mentioned. As a matter of fact it was the best written obituary I have ever read, as far as obits go. Tommy only had one child, Jake Wilbourn. As for the companion, I don't know this for sure but I heard she let him lay on his couch sick as a dog and would not take him to the hospital until he was to far gone for the hospital to save him. I don't know if the hospital could have saved him anyway but it sounds to me like that was neglect at best. I guess he died of lung failure.

[Poop from old people] Hang time seem to me to be irrelevant, what interests me is where do you get your Info, from literature or actual hands-on experience? You sound like a very interesting person. What was your motivation to get into this field of work?

[Insurance will no longer subsidize the developers and will start taking care of us Conchs] Since when do developers have their own residence that they buy windstorm insurance on?  You obviously don't even understand the issue.  So you are a Conch. Your comment sounds like somebody who thinks the government owes them a living. "Florida will start taking care of us." You sound a lot like somebody from New Orleans.  Take care of yourself and be responsible. That is the issue along with fairness to the hard working and honest people who take care of themselves and their property.

Remember that "Mission Accomplished" banner after the carrier landing? Congress should pass a law that states every time gas is above $2.50/gal as a national average, a likeness of that banner and a picture of Bush should be posted on all gas pumps to remind us of the true accomplishment of his presi-duncy!

To the guy who cracked a windshield with his garbage can. Is your name Ben?  Nope, its Bill.

Iguana on US1 in front of HOM. The body was totally mashed, but the tail thrashed like crazy. Check out the wet spot in the road.

If Bush had not got Saddam H, we most certainly would be (?)under torture by now. And why should he rebuild the toilet bowl, It most probably will be flushed again.

Friday March 17, 2006

Thursday March 16, 2006

Here is the link for the traffic cams that are currently available in Monroe County. On the opening page, click on the "live cameras" tab at the top, then "Monroe County".http://host.maptuit.com/fdot/?config=TrafficW.FDOT&aoi=11 The site is not all that it's cracked up to be.

[Bush is doing a great job] No wonder you hate politics. You think Bush's doing well and it's the Democrats and the media that are making him look bad. What has he done that's good for us? Are you better off than you were under Clinton? I want a president that would rather make love, not war!

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. --Aristotle

It'd be nice if there was a predominate "Welcome to Key West" sign.

I think you're right. Bush is doing a great job. A lesser man would have fallen apart. History will show his leadership to be among the best we have ever had. The port deal should have gone through. It would serve us right if the Arabs sell off the dollar, buy Euros, cancel orders from Boeing and buy their next jets from France. Did you know they service more of our ships than anyone? All Arabs are not bad guys. Now you have herd from another person for the Dubai port deal. We have never done a very good job on our ports and very few, if any USA companys want anything to do with them. We lose. With luck and our Mr. Bush we my be able to repair some of the damage.

I don't think Sunshine Key should get a land use change permit to build condos. It was licensed as a campground not condo-land.

[Piner economic theory: If everyone paid a livable wage in the Keys then the prices would double!]  This is true, give the worker enough money to be comfortable and some gonif merchant or landlord will steal it from them.  Those who have the gold make the rules, and it ain't us peasants!

The Iguana poster has written a book on the subject and lives in our beautiful Florida Keys.  He is a good guy.  There seems to be a small percent of folks here who poison feral cats and shoot iguanas and are nothing but white trash scum.  Unfortunately, many of them reside here in Big Pine. They are mentally ill and not taking meds. Instead of waiting for Karma, good people who care about animals could report them.  Maybe The Animal Liberation Front should be notified. 

Finally, proof positive that the Skunkape exists here in South Florida.  You don't think an organization this size would fund this if they didn't know it existed, do you?

The cure for jerks is easy. Vote them out of office!

I saw a picture of the Statue of Liberty the other day during some ceremony or function of some sort and I couldn't believe my eyes, the plaque that used read, "Give us your tired, your poor" now reads, "Welcome to America, Inc. a wholly owned subsidiary of Halliburton, Inc."

Just because the person lecturing about iguanas posted a web link to prove their point doesn't mean they are only getting all their info. there.  I'd rather read correct facts that came from the internet rather than to read the lies and misinformation that others are spreading.  I've learned a lot from his/her posts, so shut up and let them "lecture".  As long as you have the a'holes that keep posting the lies, I hope this person keeps on posting the truth.

To the guy who wants to know what the hex sign the girl put on you. I do not know but wish she would put it on me.

A very sad thing is the death of Watson Hummock take a look the big pines are dead.

Eden Pines. Don't forget to make your appearance at the meeting tonight, Thursday at 6:30 Lord of the Seas.   

[...He resents anyone who has a home and the nice stuff that goes with it.  He bitches and carries on constantly about how he can't afford to live here anymore.]

Congratulations; you just learned a fundamental lesson of history (which tends to repeat itself, sadly). How do you think socialism and communism recruited so many followers? They just told people like your friend what they wanted to hear, promising them pie in the sky for no work. Take from the rich and give to the poor. Utopia!

Which is low life scum?  Tree-huggers, or iguana killers?  I vote iguana killers!

Bush is doing everything possible to keep our country free. "We all pay the cost of freedom" is what my dad told me.

Where is Manley DeBoer on Big Pine Key? (Ed: Industrial Road. Used to be Pinewood Materials)

Sure does smart when somebody picks on your "pet", doesn't it? Part of my job involves traveling across the country. I know lots of places which haven't changed in 50 years. Long Winded Tomes

Jealous? Do people actually buy big houses just to make others less fortunate than they are jealous? We've got a 3 bedroom down here and an 8 bedroom farmhouse up north, but I never thought about anyone being jealous of it. We're too busy sharing with our friends to think about anyone being jealous. If the purpose of you having a bigger place is so you in your arrogance can lord it over people then sorry, troll. We pity you, and you don't got nothin' I would ever want. 

Someone really needs to open another internet café on Big Pine. I work in the Marshall building, and you just wouldn’t believe how many people come by the old Coconet Key location, only to find out it’s closed. I’d do it myself, but I don’t have any money. (Ed: the Senior Center and Library both have free computers for the publics' use.)

Try Evie's subs on Cudjoe for great sandwiches and pizza. The pizza is kind of expensive, but worth it. I don't know if they deliver anymore, but if you pick it up it's like a normal twenty minute wait. They have an excellent white pizza for the white pizza lover.

[It's on the internet; it must be true] I too, have been around iguanas all my life, and am glad we've finally gotten the truth out concerning the long established colony of native iguanas here in the Keys. In fact, you may be surprised to learn, through my own personal scientific studies and observation, I've concluded that the Florida panther sightings we heard of in Florida's early history, were almost certainly the huge Galapagos like tortoises that the native green iguanas have evolved from. Just go back to when they dug the lake. Believe me, this will break big when I will be releasing my studies for public perusal. I, for one, am sick and tired of these idiots who come down here from the big cities, and think that they can just come down here and revise history, just to suit their own agendas. Amen, and I say kudos too us!

And, while I'm at it, I'd like to thank Mr. hookup for a very nice evening. Where would us lonlies be without a nice friend to call for?

[Whining about the whining] This site is becoming as boring as the Citizens Voice. The three topics being hammered each day seem to be iguanas, pizza, and the way Big Pine looks. Folks, all this chronic complaining is just like beating off a dead horse- no one is enjoying it, not even the horse.

It's like Google Earth, but further away. Google Mars

Over the course of time, Dumb Dumb has been cruelly exposed over and over. When told of the attack on the World Trade Center he continued reading about a goat for another twenty minutes. He sat and was briefed on the danger of a hurricane wiping out a major American city, and without asking a single question, he got up from the table and walked away and resumed his vacation. He played guitar as New Orleans was flooded. It took him four days to realize his responsibility to do something. When the tsunami killed a hundred thousand people in Southeast Asia, he was on vacation and it took him 72 hours to issue a statement of sympathy.  

What happened to Kindler and Gentler?

[overflowing churches] I am a Christian who attends one of the churches on Key Deer Blvd faithfully. I cannot speak for all churches, but at mine we have numerous amounts of people who attend that are here on vacation; or are snowbirds. Once these people leave, our membership drops considerably. Please do not think of all who attend church as not nice people. I have given my life to Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. A true Christian will admit they are not perfect. There is only one who is perfect and that is Jesus Christ. During my day I sometimes have to stop and think how Jesus would approach this, or what would his reaction be to a situation.

We are all born into sin, and it is our will whether we sin and repent of it; or just sin and think all is good. I am sorry for you that you always run into rude people that go to church. Maybe you should just pull into one of those churches and go in and hear the word of God and meet some nice Christian people. Not all of them are rude, and if they are, well, shame on them. Don't you worry, they will have to stand before God and answer for their ways when he comes back! And this is for all: If you have not given your life to God and accepted him into your heart as your Lord and Savior, then please let today be your day of salvation and you too can have eternal life in heaven with Jesus.

God be with you all. Thanks to those folks who are here on vacation but choose not to take a vacation from the word of God.

I want some hot looking ads from good looking guys too! Where are you guys hiding at? I know, (sigh) there aren't any good looking guys here in the Keys.

I agree with those who liked the drummer with Moose. But who was the bass player that jammed with the Moondogs a couple of weeks ago? Older guy, but kicked butt!

To the guy who cracked a windshield with his garbage can. Is your name Ben?

W is smart about handling a political mess. The best strategy is to cut and run and change the subject. You defend the Dubai ports deal in manly terms until you lose a vote in a House committee and then you retreat -- actually, you get the Dubai people to do it for you; and that's it, end of story.

Harriet Miers was fully qualified one day and gone the next. Social Security was going to be overhauled to give us the Ownership Society, and then the stock market went in the toilet and Republicans got nervous, and suddenly it was, "Never mind" and on to the next new thing.

I was having a beer last night with my neighbor on Big Pine. We were talking about UFOs when he said he had been abducted by aliens three years ago and had an anal probe. This guy seems somewhat normal, he has a wife, couple of kids and dislikes rap and country music. Should I be worried about having him for a neighbor?

Kudos to our teachers who do a great job considering the conditions under which they must perform.  I have two school-aged children with excellent teachers but I’m nauseated by the way our students, teachers, and local administrators must cower before a standardized test and its ripple effects.  Guidelines are good, but this state seems to have as its goal the creation of a race of painfully average, mindless, predictable, compliant students (at best).  There is not a formula for good teaching.  Let teachers teach and bring creativity back to the teaching and learning process.  Let them create thinkers and change-makers of our children.  Begin by ignoring the asinine “grade” assigned to your school.  Send your kids to a school with the guts to earn to earn a B or a C.  An “A” probably means we have too many trained monkeys at the helm.

I've lived here for almost 30 years and the only marsh rabbit I've ever seen was dead in the street on Warren Road. That was after Hurricane Georges. I never believed they existed until then.

To whomever thinks Bush is doing a good job: Q: Why can't Bush provide funds for rebuilding in New Orleans and Mississippi?

Q; Why are we so understaffed with military and National Guard to tend to our own disasters?

A: Bush spent billions of our dollars and thousands of our troops to Iraq. That's right, train the enemy and provide weapons so they can attack Americans. Build a city, provide clean drinking water, housing and food for the Iraqi. While our New Orleans citizens live in flooded waste, no clean water, no housing, no food, no electric, no medical. Oh, yeah, try to hire Muslims to run our ports. Who better to inspect all outgoing and incoming security shipments?

They are going to allow cell phones on planes. Am I the only one who can see a problem with that? Imagine sitting next to someone shouting drivel into a cell for 8 hours on a flight. Stephen King had the right idea. Read his book.

It hurts to see how my Keys have changed since the 60's, but I feel better when I pull into the fast food drive-thru.

[Citizens Insurance's recent proposal to charge non full time residents more for windstorm insurance than full time residents is absurd and unsupportable]

Citizens needs to use true historical actuarial data (more than just the past 3 years) and base rates for all of us on a fair basis not some knee jerk solution which has no basis in fact.

You're not being penalized. It is that Florida will no longer subsidize the developers and will start taking care of us Conchs. 

Thursday March 16, 2006

Wednesday March 15, 2006

Someone asked, so I'll tell you. I think Bush is doing a great job.  In fact, I would say it's more like an outstanding job considering all the negative obstructionist crap he constantly has to deal with from the Democrats and the media.  But, the reason I haven't responded to all the anti Bush garbage on this site is because I was hoping ignoring them would encourage them to post elsewhere.  I am sick to death of politics.  I'm tired of hearing about it in the news and reading about it on message boards and in the papers.  It really irks me when they feel the need to put a dig or two in a movie just for the sake of bashing the president.  Like we don't already know (or care) that all of Hollywood hates Bush. I would much rather  read the ranting of the tree-huggers defending anything non-human or skunk ape sightings or even the not too believable recounts of dates with the  hook-up guy.  Anything but politics!  Enough is enough. You people (and you know who you are) need to get a life.

Beware, the Ides of March are upon us! Julius C. should have heeded that warning.

F.I.R.M Meeting. Please come to the next public meeting of F.I.R.M., Fair Insurance Rates for Monroe County, on Wednesday, March 15 at 6:30pm in the auditorium of Horace O'Bryant Middle School on Jose Marti Drive in Key West.  F.I.R.M. is the grassroots organization of Keys residents working to roll back our exorbitant windstorm insurance rates. Steve Burgess, the Florida State Consumer Advocate for Insurance Issues, will be at the meeting to discuss progress and answer your questions. That's Wednesday, March 15, 6:30 at HOB Middle School. Visit www.FairInsuranceRatesInMonroe.com or call (305) 295-2695 for more details. Let's unite to win the fight. Join F.I.R.M. today.

It hasn't rained here in months and I was just now climbing on my roof to paint it after the hurricane repairs have been made--and it rains. From now on when we need rain I'll wash my car and paint my roof.

Piner economic theory: If everyone paid a livable wage in the Keys, everything sold here would probably double in price--including rents. That would bring us back to the original problem: Workers not being able to afford to live here because they don't make enough money.

In defense of 2 for $20 Pizza. We ordered a Calzone and it was under cooked, we called and told them and another was sent over ASAP and it was delicious. No questions. No argument. Let's face it the pickin's are slim here on Big Pine Key. That's the way we want it. Right?

I also had the magazine selling urchins come to my door. To get there they had to go through a gate with a no trespassing sign, and up a two hundred foot driveway.  When I invited them to leave the property they were more than just rude. 

To the person explaining all the misinformation that people are spouting on this site about the iguanas here, I say kudos to you.  Yep, you sound more like an expert than these other idiots.  I've raised all kinds of iguanas all my life, and you are right on in your statements.  These other posters are trying to twist the facts to justify their own sick disregard for life.  Kudos man or woman, whichever you may be.  I'm proud to be a fellow Piner with the likes of you.  Maybe it's time that the ones, so tired of the iguanas and any of our other wildlife, need to move to the big city.

[Business owners being told about problem] In my experience most business owners hate being told anything negative about their business and resent you for it. They always think they're doing everything all right.

So Isaac Hayes, who plays "Chef" on Comedy Central's "South Park", is leaving the show because they lampooned Scientology. Why didn't he leave when they made fun of just about every other religion on the planet? It sounds a little hypocritical to me.

Sorry the republicans have had better things to do lately than defend Bush.  If it will make you feel better he is still better than Kerry. 

I can't believe that you compare a developer who wants to give an owner of a (piece of shit) p.o.s. trailer one million dollars, with a gangster or child pornographer.  I invite any developers out there who want my p.o.s. trailer to call me.  Any gangsters or child pornographers with a million for my trailer are also welcome to call.

They suggested that to keep wind insurance rates low that they not insure homes over one million dollars. This should help ease the jealously burden of you folks that are jealous and resent successful people.

Want to know what Mad Cow Disease looks like? Just go to a softball game on Big Pine Key!

RE: [Customized Medicine being shoved down our throats] I have been to the "meeting (should be meating) and can see the con job from a mile away. All you doctors are doing is guaranteeing your base $300,000 + incomes before the fact.  I would cost me and my family over $6000 a year and for what. My insurance takes care of me, you made a deal with them to service me, it's just your greed that wants more, and more money for less and less work.  The majority are just making medical insurance payments, now you want us to join your "Club" too. Bull S**T on you bums!

Ugh, that stuff about Charlie Brandt is gruesome.  This is the first I've heard of the guy.  Where on Big Pine did he live?  Is it true he worked on the blimp?

Another big point in favor of getting a Publix here--they have announced that they are installing generators big enough to power their entire store in all their Miami-Dade, Broward and Monroe county stores.

Thesa mora lika it, eh?  $10 for a smalla pie, whatta you freakin' nuts!

I agree with most of the post of 2 for 20, but I do like their Sicilian Pie. They get that right.

I owned a pizza shop up north also and in case you have not noticed, this is not Detroit and everything is way more expensive here.  A tip to ordering 2 for 20 pizza: when you get the delivery take the contents of the box and discard whatever is in it--then, eat the box.  It is way better!

Why is Wilder Road only 25 mph and the parallel Key Deer Blvd is 30 mph? Is there something we should know? Is it because one has Key Deer and the other has Moose?

Citizens Insurance's recent proposal to charge non full time residents more for windstorm insurance than full time residents is absurd and unsupportable. The fact is that people who properly prepare their homes for the storms suffer less or no damage than ones who don't. From what I have seen some of the folks that elect to remain down here feel they will prepare at the last minute and do not do an adequate job so they suffer more losses. Why should someone who has now purchased their (hopefully in the near future) full time retirement home be penalized for those who don't take the basic steps to protect themselves. I made no insurance claims last year because I prepared. Anyone who is a Fl resident or even has lived here for over 15 or 20 years knows what a hurricane can do even at a near hit. 

Citizens needs to use true historical actuarial data (more than just the past 3 years) and base rates for all of us on a fair basis not some knee jerk solution which has no basis in fact.

Can we please have some hot men put their ads up in the personals?  If I'm going to have a good time I need some eye candy too! 

Uh-Oh! About the girl at the Looe Key Tiki Bar. I hate to tell you, but you met up with none other than Loogie-Luann. She has hexed you with the dreaded Loogie Curse. Without the antidote as of next week you will be stalked and tormented by loogies of every size and description. Little green loogies will jump at you from your bathroom sink and stain your shirt. Medium sized yellow loogies will flip off your telephone and stick in your ears and finally, huge brown oozing loogies will fall mysteriously from the sky wherever you go and spot your car windshield and your favorite baseball cap.

But there is hope! You must act quickly...this weekend...Friday night if possible. You must go find Loogie Luann. You must persuade her to have a drink with you. You must treat her like a lady. You must pay for the drinks yourself, (I know, this is the worst part of the antidote). Then and only then may Luann lift the dreaded Loogie Curse of Looe Key. Hop to it before it's too late. Good luck.

[...this girl put a hex on me. Am I going to die?] Only if you sat on the hopper after she did!

[Obliged to be noble] There it is! Third to the last post on Tuesday March 14. Does a toad bump his arse every time he hops; and are selfish, unfeeling Marie Antoinette types alive and well in 2006?  I'm neither economically nor financially challenged. Matter of fact I am comfortable to the point I lay awake nights thinking about my neighbors who aren't. Most of them work hard and are self-educated, but have situations where their dollars just don't go far enough.

There's a Book I have believed, proved and lived by for over fifty years. It says in there that, "Pride goethe before a fall, and a haughty spirit before destruction." Apparently some folks aren't "self-educated" enough to realize that blessings are rare and temporary. Seems I remember somebody named Bob Crachet who was self-educated and hard-working, but was kept poor and continually taken advantage of by Ebenezer Scrooge.

Part of our self-education, where I come from, was to learn about and practice a way of life as distant to our modern society as buggy whips and nickel Coca Cola. It's the term Noblesse Oblige.  It means, among other things, obliged to be noble. If a person is blessed in any way, whether by education, ability, inheritance or luck he is obliged, or obligated, to serve his fellow men and do his best to improve their lives in every way possible. This is quite foreign to "me first" people of today.

I'm glad people can pay fifty-thousand-dollars for a car made in Mexico from five-hundred bucks worth of aluminum and plastic. Know why? Because it gives working folks a job at the factory. It also means if they can afford that they should have something extra on hand to help a needy neighbor. Get self-educated enough to realize we are not here to hoard up expensive toys. Eternity is a long time. We are here to give and serve those less fortunate, not put them down as being stupid or lazy.       

Burn a green one and get hooked on this mesmerizing game. Just click anywhere on the falling sand to disrupt it's flow. 
Falling Sand Game - hosted by Chirag Mehta @ chir.ag

[Iguana expert] I have seen twenty iguanas floating upside down in my canal. That's the way I like to casually observe them (through the sights of a pellet rifle)

Does anyone else out there have a truck that was in the flood and are trying to keep it going?  My good old diesel pick-up was in Wilma waste deep and is still running.  I power washed it over and over and just had to replace the starter and the dimmer switch (was on the floor) So far everything else seems A-ok but chicken little is scared to take it off Big Pine in case it rusts out in a big pile on one of the bridges.  I also gave it a bath in LPS 3 so that might hold back some of the rust?  I guess it is going to nickel and dime me until it finally dies, but it doesn't cost much to wait and see and I just couldn't sell it to someone else.  I am surprised the radio, lights, etc. still work and no signs of unusual rust anywhere but the frame?  If someone else is keeping one going I would like to hear what is and isn't working just to see if I could clean that part up a little better and slow down any problems.

Hello from the Mile Marker 24 gang. Our new CD Meet Me in the Keys is finished and will be available later this month. (You can get an advance copy from our web site.) We think it is time to celebrate and have a party and would love to have you join us. We will be playing at the Sugarloaf KOA Resort on Sugarloaf Key, Florida, Saturday, March 18^th at 7:00 PM. This is open to the public and is a great place to bring the entire family.  

And then next week we are having our CD release party at Mangrove Mama’s on Saturday March 25^th. Mangrove Mama’s is at Mile Marker 20 in Sugarloaf Key, Florida. This will start at 8:00 and will be fun packed. We will have door prizes, raffles, lots of music and you will hear all the new tunes from the new CD. We will also have some special guests from all over the country.

Also, the next day Sunday, March 26^th, we will be at the Sugarloaf Koa Resort at 7:00 PM.Please come out and party with us and as always, have a free margarita on the band.

On the radio? Howard Livingston will also be on US1 Radio Friday, March 17^th at 10:00 am Eastern Time and again March 24^th at 10:00 am. US1 Radio is the Florida Keys most listened to radio station and you can hear them world wide on the web at www.us1radio.com  Please visit our website at www.milemarker24.com or on MySpace at http://www.myspace.com/milemarker24

[Volvo Owner with engine problems] I, too, own a Volvo and I called a few places in Key West and a few up Big Pine and Marathon way. For the most part, I was told to suck it up and bring it to a dealership. I went to Warren Henry (recommended to me by a garage in KW).  I'm very glad I did. I have no warranty because I bought it used, but they gave me a brand new loaner to use while they worked on my car. No charge. It was an S40 turbo, which is very spiffy little car. It's smaller than mine, (an S80. No turbo.) and very, very quick. While we have speed limits down here that preclude any fancy-schmancy driving, quick is very handy when you have to make a left on to US 1 during high season; or any high traffic reason.  But I digress. Just take the drive, pack a cooler, and when they tell you that you have to leave the car, give them your key, take the turbo, and have a sweet ride home.

2 for 20 Pizza is terrible.  The last time we ordered, it took over an hour to arrive, only less than a mile away.  When I called to complain about a cold pizza and the worlds worst $9 wings, they told me that the next one would be half-off.  Reluctantly, we ordered the half-off pizza the following week, and when I told him that it was to be discounted, the kid said that I'd have to pick it up because it fell below the delivery price minimum.  Never again.

I work for a pizza place in Key West!   We deliver up to Shark Key and it cost us about $6 to make a 14" 2 topping pizza. We charge around double that.  After the high rent and salaries we barely make a profit on the pies. Its the dinners and slices that make the big profit. Really, just how much do you think it cost for pasta and marinara?

You know why they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

http://www.softlab.ece.ntua.gr/~sivann/pub/swf/may02-smilepop-soapbox4.swf Now, go forth and forward this to everyone you know.

[The greed person is back] The "old timers" moving away from the Key's to anywhere north have only one motivating factor and it's called greed! Any other "old timer" that believes otherwise missed last years greed-sellout and is trying to spawn another. These individuals should plan to hold on another 8 to 10 years before that happens again.

To all that sold big and bought cheap in Gainesville, Tampa, St. Pete, Okeechobee or anywhere else have long since discovered that a couple of acres with 4 beds and 3 baths for $89,500 ain't really all that great now that you have to live in those God-forsaken places!

I'll stay and pay and evolve with the changes. I've already lived elsewhere and won't go back! To those that sold and went south, you have my respect!

Recently I read here that an observer noted that most interviewees begin their answers by saying, "Well..." Well...that observation is now driving me crazy. That's all I seem to notice now during an interview. I just sit here and wait for the interviewee to begin his answer with, "Well..." Its really noticeable once it's was brought to my attention that they all answer with the same first word. I guess it is a word trick for them to use to stall while they form their answer. Well...I've said enough on this subject.

John (True Value) may be a nice guy, but like all others elected to office, when they have too much at personal stake on their decision making, we the people, will still not win.

[Overflowing churches] I see the same people going into the churches as I see looking at me from the other side of the counter after I have waited my turn to do business locally only to be treated as though I was bothering them! God is everywhere. If he is always in your heart, people just need to remember to practice what they supposedly believe in while running with the rest of the rats.

To the person who feels compelled to lecture on iguanas, your wealth of information on the subject is impressive, but it appears that most of it comes from surfing the internet rather than observation. 

I really enjoy the Country radio channel now that I've had a couple weeks to listen to it, but I can't find their website.

I can't imagine anyone wanting to be referred to as a tree-hugger.  They are the lowest form of life.  Not since Germany in the 30s has there been a group of people that have shown such intolerance and hatred for others that don't share their views.  Some posters have even advocated the "extermination" of their fellow man.  Sound familiar?  I think the spy poles are the least of our worries here in the Keys.

Finally, another locally owned lumber company on Big Pine that can compete with the big boy’s prices.  Thank you Manley deBoer for finally opening!  I was tired of giving my money to a chain store like Home Depot.

I just had to respond to the post on the moral, God-loving, honest, and kind church goers on BPK.  Several weeks ago I was on my way to Marathon on a Sunday afternoon when mass at Peter’s church was ending. My car overheated and St. Peter’s was the first safe place I could pull into. 

There was a car parked on the side of the driveway and cars were exiting via the entrance (everyone was in a hurry to get to the beaches or whatever) so I pulled behind the car that was parked on the side--trying to stay off the pavement as best I could. 

Smoke was billowing from under my hood when a van pulled in behind me and stared honking his horn. I went to his car window and explained my situation. He gave me a dirty look but did not offer to help, make a call for help, or anything.  Everyone leaving the church parking lot was no more than an arms length from my window, but not one person offered any help what so ever. 

I did have my cell phone and called my daughter.  After the lot had vacated and my son-in-law and daughter were helping, the secretary came by and asked if we needed help.  I guess a church-goer only offers help before church services.  Afterwards, all your sins are forgiven and you can start to sin again till next Sunday.  In the future I’ll try to breakdown before Sunday services.

[No positive comments about Bush in a while.]  Just wait a minute, I love Bush! I will take all the Bush I can get. A good Bush is hard to fine, and if it's a rich Bush, the better!

We haven't heard anything from the person who was for the Dubai ports deal and put forth the challenge to submit a well-reasoned and informed rebuttal. The burden of proof does not have to be put upon the majority of Americans against it, but upon the wee percentage in support of the deal. Please enlighten us, my friend, with a cogent reason we should have just cast aside the fear, fear, soul-trembling fear that our Commander has been drilling into us since 9/11 and suddenly say, "Oh please, middle-eastern folks..." (No racism intended, but we should run our own ports.) "Why don't you take control over an area that's already a potential Achilles' heel for our country?"

What has been accomplished in Iraq? The removal of a tyrannical dictator. That is good for the world, but not for the people. The people are tribal and devout and will never coexist peacefully. (If you're poor they call you crazy; if you're rich they call you eccentric. If you're crazy and religious, they call you devout.)

[the Keys aren't what they were in the 50's]  How true, but then neither is any other place on the water in this country.  One would get the impression reading this board that this is the only place on earth where developers are invading and pushing out all of the "nice folk".  Here's a flash for you - if you get out and about a little more you will find there are a lot of small towns where people care about their neighbors and where developers are changing the face of their town. I believe they call it progress.

I tried Compaq Tech Support and it was a joke. They wanted me to pay $60 to tell me how to connect my new computer to a shared printer on my tiny two computer network. Dell has the best tech support and when the parts replacement and home support portion of you agreement is over you still get free phone support for life.

Did you notice that they opened the new parking lot at Watson field for a couple of days only to close it again yesterday! Just what is going on with that place? They built the Empire State Building in one year.

Wednesday March 15, 2006

Tuesday March 14, 2006

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that came out to House of Music Sunday and supported the Big Pine Neighborhood Charter School.  A huge thank you to Kathleen and all of the bands for entertaining us throughout the day.  The food was wonderful and all of the auction and raffle items were great.  What a success! 

[Tony Soprano got shot] Now I have to walk around all week worrying about Tony Soprano. HBO can't kill him until the season ends.  Get well fat mobster-dood.

It's an improvement.

Yes, you might see that many iguanas in one tree in Costa Rica...look at the size of the trees.  And Costa Rica has more than one kind of iguana naturally, both green iguanas and the black spiny-tailed iguana.  At Iguana Park there, they are actually raising the young green iguanas and releasing them in the wild, as they are an endangered species there.  In its initial five years in Costa Rica, more than 80,000 iguanas have been released into the wild, and they are now a recovering population there...so yes, you probably would see that many in a tree.  Geesh, what does that have to do with the iguanas in the Keys?

The environmental issues with the iguanas in Boca Grande, eating bird eggs and gopher tortoise eggs, is not the problem here.  The iguanas they have there are the black spiny-tailed iguana from Mexico (see attached picture), which does eat bird eggs and tortoise eggs.  The green iguana we have here is a totally different kind and, does not, as a rule.  http://www.anapsid.org/iguana/animalprotein.html

And to the person that called me the "iguana expert"...thank you for the compliment; I may not be an expert, but I obviously know a lot more than some others that are posting on here.  And no, I don't live up north...I happen to live on Big Pine Key, very close to the Blue Hole, and have lived here for many years.  I didn't say the iguana doesn't eat exotics or any native "stuff".  I said they don't eat the bougainvillea in my yard, and I have several of these plants around my yard, and I said they don't eat the native plants that I have planted.  They will eat many plants, both exotic and native, when the plant is very young, but if you protect it with a little wire fence around and over it until it gets larger, then they generally don't bother it...maybe only the flowers then.

And you said "Even a casual observer can see 20 in a tree if they know where to look."  Please give me the location of one of these trees that you are seeing 20 in.  When I am at the Blue Hole, I have to point out the few iguanas hanging out in the trees there, to the "casual observers", who would have never seen them if I hadn't pointed them out.  Back in the refuge, and believe me, I am back in there a lot, I hardly ever see an iguana.  They're hanging out in the neighborhoods, eating your exotics, just like the deer will do.

Am I tree hugger?  Hmm, I've never been called that, but I would much rather be that than what you obviously are.

My Volvo has a serious engine problem.  What's the best garage in town that can handle a Swedish Auto?  Miami is very far away.

To the person explaining about Boca Grande's iguana population:  get your facts straight.  The iguanas on Boca Grande, which do eat bird and turtle eggs, are a completely different species from the ones we have here in the Keys.  Theirs are the spiny-tailed variety found in Mexico, and are definitely a threat to the native wildlife.  The ones in the Keys are the green iguana, which are 100% vegetarian.  Eating exotic plants in your yard does not pose a threat to our native wildlife, and there is obviously a question as to how long they have been around.  And as someone else as already brought up, hunting is illegal in Monroe County, so stop talking about killing.  I wonder how they know that there are 2000 there?  Maybe they have an anonymous message board like this one where people have lied and blown the numbers way out of proportion.

Just what Big Pine Key needs!

[Iguana population] The reason is, a lot of what lives in other parts of the world seems to thrive in our wonderful tropical climate, including the cry babies from up north who move here because it was a perfect vacation in paradise the first time they saw it, but were too blind to see what else was here first. Quit crying. Quit killing everything that makes this place so great, and try to learn to live with "the locals".

I've read enough about True Value John, cant we talk about me? 

See, I’m not the only one that thinks 2 for 20 sucks!  And by the way I am an extremely happy individual; just think I deserve good service like anyone else. 

2 For $20, Ha! I had a pizza shop in Detroit from 1989 to 2001 and if it cost me more than $.70 to make a 12 inch pie I was doing something very wrong.  Either these pizza shops in the Keys are buying wrong or they are just plain greedy, and I thought I was robbing the public at $3.75.

[Customized Medicine being shoved down our throats] This is ridiculous.  You have the option to go with that program. You are not forced.  If you attended the meeting and listened you would understand.  It's an option to have that particular doctor take a physical of you at cost of $1500.  Take it or leave it and with your comments you care to leave it.  Of course people who can't afford it, or don't need it won't join.  The doctor said they wouldn't turn you away, but couldn't give you the exact immediate care that they will give their members.  You are in paradise and if you have been around lately doctors are not taking insurance because they don't pay or pay a small amount or have to leave the Keys in order to live, just like the rest of us.

Until you have used the program and are disgruntled with it please be quiet and allow the people who do care to be treated as if someone cares.  Negativity helps nobody and without trying it out you shouldn't have an opinion, yet.

See the Full Worm Moon and a Slight Eclipse On Tuesday, March 14 the moon will be full and there will be a penumbral lunar eclipse visible from eastern North America from 6:17PM to 7:17PM

Most business owners would appreciate being told if there is a problem with their products and services, instead of being informed via malicious gossip. It helps rather than hurts. Support your local business' owners. They are not hard to reach. 

It's a scam!  Beware of magazine sales people. They are from AM Press Associates/Mags R Us.  I bit and later did a Google search on the company.  The company has a bad reputation for not delivering the product.  They are also known to overcharge.  I am canceling the subscription and putting a stop payment on the check. I don't care if the latter costs me more money, it's the principle of it!  I don't like a scam.

Just remember. No matter where you go--there you are!

[defending Bush on this site any longer]  That's cause Ed censors them. (Ed: That's not true. There have been no positive comments about Bush in a while. Don't blame me for that.)

Just because we have an engine block hanging from the tree and a slightly rusted vehicle up on cement blocks don't mean our yard's got no "curb appeal".  We got lots of curb appeal.  We're appealing to you to stay the hell out of our yard!

I can't believe we have come full circle back to the iguanas.

The reason a lot of Keys "Old Timers" have moved away or are planning to is the drastic change in the way of life. If you have come to the Keys in the last 10-15 years you mostly think of things as they are now. If you remember the Keys of the 70's, 60's, 50's or even further back it is becoming harder each passing day to recall the fine and pleasant little paradise it was.

A similar situation exists with a tiny town on the Fl coast called Briny Breezes. For over sixty years it has been a small incorporated village of a hundred trailers or so directly on the beach between Boynton Beach and Delray. Several times over the years developers have sought to get the "little people" out of there so they could bulldoze their cozy, friendly little town and build condos and mansions for the wealthy. Each time the folks threw off the threat and kept things the way they were. Last fall a new developer offered these working and retired poor folks a million dollars for each trailer.

It has been big news since then as most of the people of the quiet little village still don't want to sell and give up their way of life for a payoff. You can't help but reach the conclusion that individuals who come in and don't care how much they wrack and ruin people's lives, as long as they make money, are just plain thugs. They wear pricey clothes and drive fancy cars but they are as low as drug dealers or child pornographers. Everyone laughs when "The Godfather" makes his victim an offer they can't refuse, but at least he is being a criminal openly. These greedy trolls are ruining every good, decent place for regular folks in the name of progress.

The sad fact is it's mostly too late for the lovely little Florida Keys. For those of us who remember them fifty years or so ago we can squint a little and bring it back, but the more rudeness and greed we see the dimmer the memory becomes. Sometimes it hurts less to just get away before it's all gone forever.  

[No Name Pub] I don't go there much anymore either.  But how do you sell out to the tourist trade?  Is it by inviting them to come in?  Or perhaps by charging a fair price for a beer that prevents a local addict from getting drunk on less than $10.  You sound like a loser who longs for the old days of few rules and a meager existence of little hard work but lot's of substance abuse.  It may not last long but for now there is always HOM or Captain Dan's. 

First off, I too believe that commissioner Neugent should be neutered!  What fools do he and the Fish and Wildlife (another joke) think we are? Marsh  Rabbit?  Please! Has anyone out there ever seen one here in Big Pine or No Name?  It's about as realistic as the tea party between the mad hatter and the March hare in Alice in Wonderland.

All they want to accomplish is to fabricate one or two false sightings of such "marsh rabbits", then remove them from the endangered species list (another fairy tale) so that they can continue to over develop our beloved Big Pine and No Name Keys.  Think about what they are doing by relocating the key deer to Sugarloaf and Summerland Keys with the excuse that if Big Pine suffers from an extreme hurricane, at least our Key deer will have a chance of survival on two keys less than ten miles away. Hello!  If they can take our Key Deer off the endangered list, they can remove the building moratorium here. And yes, we'll be like Marathon--over developed and no precious wildlife.   

To the guy who had trouble with 2 for 20 pizza. Why would you waste your time and the guy on the phone's time? He was just doing what he was told, but you are so smart you argued with someone who could not do anything about your problem. I'll bet you are a snowbird. I like Slice of Paradise Pizza and think 2 for 20 sucks.

I stopped at the Looe Key Tiki Bar the other night and this girl put some kind of hex on me. Does anyone know what her sign language means? Is this something serious? Am I going to die?

[Picadillo] This is not an authentic recipe. It has been altered through the yrs.I also do not measure. so this a taste as you go in the way of spices and if you like lots of olives or less.

3lbs ground beef
2 lg cans tomatoes, any kind, stewed, Italian, anything but crushed
Onion, diced
Sm. box raisins
Capers
Green olives w/pimentos, Manzillas or if large cut in halves
2 large cans large pitted black olives, cut in halves
1 can beer any kind at room temp.
About 1 Tbs. spoon of minced garlic
Ground nutmeg
Ground cinnamon

Brown Ground beef, with beer, onion, garlic,  a tsp or so of nutmeg & cinnamon (equal amounts), 4-6 capers and raisins, break up well when browning. Drain.

In a quart pot, combine tomatoes, browned meat, olives, another 4 or so raisins & capers, nutmeg & cinnamon to taste.

Simmer 30 min or so. Let sit 10 min or so.

Serve over white or yellow rice, with black beans and Cuban toast.

This recipe feeds about 6 people. If you have any fresh tomatoes that need to be used you can throw them in. Play with the amounts according to your tastes.  

[About the new highway camera polls] I am very curious as to what the images they are transmitting look like.  There ought to be some way we can get the state to show all of us who are being photographed a sample of them. (Ed; Word has it that we will be given a web link to view all the cameras in the state. It'll be better than the missing Big Pine TV.)

[The Sopranos new season ] These is the kind of guys we need for running Monroe County. Oh, we already have some like that!

When our republican legislature signs the save our Home Portability Act I am selling my home in Tavernier and buying on the water in Big Pine. I cant  wait to trade up the American dream as it should be.

I agree, the pool store looks like a dump. So does Conch & Stein, the former Classic Carpet building, Scotty’s, the old Montego Bay property and the House of Music and Key Deer Bar aren’t far behind.  I’m sure all of the No Growth and the NIMBY nuts are really proud of our appearance.

It seems like a lot of posts here are from people who are economically or financially challenged and want to vent their frustrations on the rest of us who have worked hard for a lifetime to be able to afford homes and the finer things in life. 

An example is an acquaintance of mine (friend of a friend) who whines non-stop about the “got miners” and the “rich a**holes.”  This guy hasn’t got a thing to his name except his meager collection of ratty clothes, a rusted out pickup and a rented trailer the size of a closet.  Funny thing is he doesn’t seem to try to get a better job, get an education, look for some better opportunity in life or do anything that would improve his quality of life.  He resents anyone who has a home and the nice stuff that goes with it.  He bitches and carries on constantly about how he can’t afford to live here anymore but somehow has about $30 a day to spend on beer and cigars.  I finally told him to shut it up, pack your stuff and get somewhere where you’ll fit in with the other lazy bums. 

I can’t afford to live in Beverly Hills or shop on Rodeo Drive but I won’t move there and start whining about how much everything costs.  If you whiners can’t afford to live here, it’s time to leave so the rest of us who have educated ourselves and worked hard for years don’t have to listen to you snivel about our homes, our SUV’s and our nice boats!

[New hair cut]  And I wish I could show it off, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!

Tuesday March 14, 2006

Monday March 13, 2006

[Eight foot iguana] I've seen thirty or forty iguanas of all sizes in a single tree in Costa Rica.

[Charter school benefit] Thank you House of Music for a wonderful time yesterday.

[More dead Dog] Although I was not a witness to the death of poor Flitzen, I did catch a glimpse of the aftermath. It was very upsetting to see a young woman with a small frame crying at the end of her driveway, holding what seemed to be quite a large dog. The jerk with the appliance truck whom apparently was driving the cause of death did not even help her pick her animal up off the road when she tried to take him. Talk about adding insult to injury! I am sorry mom to Beloved Bulldog.

To the person who has seen the flip flop guy in his socks. This very, very, very, rarely happens. Who are you and where did this happen?

A few little facts about iguanas. Also one fiction picture from a horror movie. The writer on the web raises iguanas and has seen several attacks on humans.

Male competition breeding season, attack mood or simply moments of (confusing a human as another male iguana) perceived male iguana competition (this is a deadly serious situation, a major problem).

Some (not all) perfectly tame male iguanas will go into a radical and vicious attack (competition) mood: the male iguana will react toward humans exactly the same as he would when encountering another male iguana with an enraged (really angry) full power, high speed, scary and vicious leaping, lunging, chasing attack toward humans of either sex. This is very dangerous, the tragic top problem/challenge facing male iguana pet owners.

[Traffic poles] Not $90 million. It is $9.3 million.

[2 for $20 versus A Slice of Paradise] Now usually, when I post on here, it is more professional (Ed is chuckling under his breath) but today I have decide to bring my tale despair to everyone.  I hear people talking about Slice of Paradise, then I hear talk of 2 for $20 pizza. Well here is the low down, as of  Sunday at 1 pm.

I have had 3 fliers hung at my door in the last two weeks. Many of you may have had the same with three specials on them from 2 for $20.  The last deal on the flyer says, "Buy one Large Pizza (Up to 3 toppings) get one free.  So today I called. I asked for a large white Pizza with tomato's and one regular with pepperoni. The guy on the other end of the phone says, "Uhhh, the white is not included in the special."  Now, being of some intelligence, I ask, "How much is a large pizza with 3 toppings?" The guy replies, "$18.95."  Ok. I then ask how much is a white pizza with Tomato's? He then answers, "$14.95."  "Hmmm." I say, "So why is the white pizza not then included on the special?"   He's say because it is considered a gourmet pie--not a pizza.  Enough of the BS on Big Pine. There is no such thing as a gourmet pie. I try to explain to the guy that the white pizza is cheaper than a large with 3 toppings, to no avail. I then say some things I regret and will not put on these pages.

I then called A Slice of Paradise and get my white pizza (which was excellent). I also had my friend call 2 for $20 for the first special on the list (X-Large 3 topping and free two litter soft drink) which was greasy and horrible.  Enough said. 

Later, we all went out on the great Skunk Ape Hunt...details to be posted later. And just so you know; we are developing the film as we speak.

It's Sunday again, and as I go down Key Deer Blvd past all the overflowing churches I can only wonder where are all these moral, god loving, honest and kind people during the week when all I encounter during a normal day's routine is rude, obnoxious, self-serving individuals? Until you hypocrites start practicing what your being preached to about, your souls will be lost in spite of good attendance.

[Band or combo] I can help. jcbsr@comcast.net   872-3118. Give me a call or E-mail. I've got just the right group.

I do love my new hair cut!  The bank loves it too, and my co-workers are the best, it is the comments of relative strangers in public that made me upset.  It's a small community and we see each other at work and play.  One man actually said, "If his wife cut her hair this short, he'd divorce her."  I know he was older, much older, but it's that ancient mentality that makes my skin crawl.  (You could tell he meant it, I'd hate to be his wife.)  I'd never tell another person they were too tall, or too short, too hairy, too bald, etc.  Thank you for your, "You go girl!"  It made my day.

True Value John. I like it, a new nick name. TVJ has grown up here, his kids have grown up and schooled here, He has, for many years been a local business owner. He has given of his time, (many hundreds of hours over the years) to our Island and if he runs, (If) I am sure he would bring a breath of fresh air. He has no ax to grind. He does have a lets-get-it-done outlook and his business will sell in any case. Its a fine spot and has the best zoning here that won't change. So TVJ, if you're up to the B.S. jump in with both feet, the way you do most everything else. Remember TVJ, you are getting a little old for this, but it is fun.

Iguanas do eat bougainvilleas, usually just the young smaller plants.

Does anyone know if the Cracked Egg is open now? How about the Big Pine Restaurant? I have been away for some time.

Ok, Mr/Ms iguana expert (who is probably sitting in an apartment somewhere in a northern city pretending to live down here). If they don't eat bougainvillea or exotic plants and they don't eat native "stuff", then what do they eat?  Or do they just live on love, like you tree-huggers? Even a casual observer can see 20 in a tree if they know where to look.

I remember quite a few years ago there was a young man that continually raced down my street even though I had asked him to slow down. One morning as I was taking my garbage can out to the road he came by so fast he scared me half to death.  By the time it was over my garbage can had cracked his windshield all to hell. It must have scared him a tad too, because it never happened again. I wonder if he's still around and remembers it too?

Timeshares. That's what our condo/hotels will be. These visitors won't even have to visit our restaurants or supermarkets. They can bring their food with them, enjoy our tourist areas (if there are any left after the timeshare epidemic is through) and spend next to nothing. As far as jobs that pay, there won't be any. It will be minimum wage jobs that we already have and  nobody wants. The rich get richer and the middle-class and poor get poorer. Look at who owns the property that the condos are being built on if you don't believe me. We have time not to become the next Martha's Vineyard, Miami Beach, Daytona Beach, or anywhere the condo phase has been in existence.

Do to insufficient evidence in the case of the Big Pine Coffee Shop robbery (too much hair on the fingerprints), the judge, Ms Anita Fix, released the suspect without bail. Coincidently, soon after the release, a rash of bicycle thefts have been reported on Big Pine. When asked for comment, deputy McCoy responded, "What are ya gonna do? I guess the judge just has a soft spot for hairy guys."

I don't see the "My country, right or wrong" crowd defending Bush on this site any longer. What happened? Have you finally awakened? Have you seen that Cheney has a 17% approval rating?

Bush doesn't know anything about the Muslims or their way of life. They have completely difference logic, political ideals, religious ways, and will never sync with the rest of the world. They are tribal, and for more than 2500 years, have been at war with every one else. We "Christian Whites" are not going to change that, and we will be in a world war if we try.  54 million of them is a big army!

To the person saying that the port deal was a good thing for America.  Maybe I missed it but I waited every day for our president to tell us why it was a good deal for us.  To this day I never heard anything about it.  Please tell us all why it was a good deal?  I also want to say that I am very disappointed if that new reality show of Osama Bin Laden's niece really goes on TV. That would be a stoop to an extremely low level for this country and an insult to all who died on 9/11.

Here's a link to Curb Appeal, or how to spruce up your property to sell or even not to sell, but to make things look better from across the street! BPK needs this bad! http://realestate.msn.com/Improve/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=74997&GT1=7928

Commissioner Neugent deserves kudos for standing up to the Gang of three. They are your real political problem at this time unless you love concrete.

More on Charlie Brandt: 
http://www.crimezzz.net/serialkiller_news/BRANDT_carl.php

If I get woken up one more time by you ignorant individuals in Pine Channel Estates fighting all night and racing up and down our short street when I always just have fallen into a deep sleep I am calling the cops.  You know who you are so be ready to deal with police officers if you can't behave and control yourselves.  Pine Channel Estates is a respectable area where the people who live and go to work everyday deserve a good night's sleep and their privacy. You are invading that. 

That also goes to anyone renting their houses to people who are packing them with several families and having all night parties. Anyone racing up and down the canals; any invasions at all will not be tolerated. We need to stick together and take care of ourselves both street side and cannel sides. There have been robbery's in Pine Channel Estates. We have been hit twice, so keep you eyes open folks. Burglary really hurts.  Our community needs an association in my opinion.  Anyone interested give your input.  At least let's keep citizens watch going again.  To all you good folks who live in Pine Channel I wish you all a good night's sleep.  Don't put up with abuse. 

The plan to reduce Boca Grande's nuisance population of 2,000 iguanas by catching them and trying to adopt them out as pets, ranks as one of the sillier pieces of politically correct sentimentality we've come across recently. Critters tend to do that to some people, wiping out the part of the brain devoted to common sense. The exploding iguana population in Boca Grande and elsewhere on Gasparilla Island gobbles up birds' eggs, and threatens such cherished natives as sea turtles and gopher tortoises. So getting rid of them is a good idea.  Spreading them around the region and state as pets, where some will inevitably escape or be released by owners grown tired of them but unwilling to destroy them. That's how many exotic species get a toehold here.

This soft-hearted soft-headedness is on a par with residents of leafy suburbs refusing to let deer be culled by hunters even though these prolific ungulates are gobbling up lawns and gardens and spreading Lyme Disease.  Or the animal rights nuts in England who "liberated" 6,500 minks from a farm to save them from becoming fur coats, only to have these highly effective predators ravage the countryside, devastating wildlife, pets and small livestock.

The volunteer iguana stalkers from Scales & Tails Exotic Pet Rescue, commissioned by the Gasparilla Island Conservation & Improvement Associa-tion, managed to catch only six lizards last weekend. We have a better idea. Pay a 25-cent bounty on each iguana turned in by enterprising islanders, but pay only for animals that have been killed. Yes, killed. That's the only way to get rid of these things.  Then Google "iguana meat" for some recipes.

It looks as though another tool to drive us peasants out of the Keys is being shoved down our throats, Customized Medicine. You either pay $1500 a year or die.  It's not bad enough to pay obscene medical insurance costs, but now that's not enough. Got Medicare, forget it. The "Doctors Club" doesn't take it. Live in a trailer, a low income home, got no money?  You better move out so the land grabbers can build the mansions for the rich and famous.  Welcome to Paradise where you can die happy and broke!

I lived here for several years and I love the Keys. No mater what happens the Keys will always be special and beautiful to me and those of us who can look past all the BS and complaints of those who are just unhappy people to start with. 

Monday March 13, 2006

Sunday March 12, 2006

I have known John from True Value for years. He is a good man, but If a person isn't in love with the Keys anymore, they shouldn't be a county commissioner. He lost his love for this island chain years ago. All he talks about is getting out of here. I say to anybody that wants to leave, "So Long, It's been good to know you."  Anybody that wants to be a county Commissioner had better be totally for our Keys and have a sound thinking process. We've had enough yes men and losers.

I stopped going to the No Name Pub years ago when they totally sold out to the tourist trade. They have been living for years on a very old reputation that they can't hold a candle to.

[If Cheney were a democrat] We would have heard a whole lot about his being on a hunting trip with another woman that was not his wife. The reason the accidental shooting was covered up was not fear of inciting anti gun activists, but to cover up the fact that he is a philandering fool. I personally don't care but if the republicans needed to make such a big stink about Clinton's inability to keep Willy under cover, how come they can't even say one word about the (not mine, your) vice president having the same problem? We still hear rumblings about Clinton's misadventure. Meanwhile, Cheney's actually caused somebody harm.

Words of wisdom from our fearless leader

This Port deal we just blew-off was a good business/anti-terrorist deal for America. We Americans acted out of fear. We did bad. It will come back to bite us in the arse. Before you write some anti-Arab B.S. do a little home work. With elections coming up in November this may have been good to stir the pot, but it was bad for America. Remember do some homework before you write some misinformed, ignorant or just plan dumb rebuttal.

[Some casual observations]  I apparently offended someone who does own a boat, is a heavy drinker and does not care that they spend their money at Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee's little golf course. But we agree Moose wears a very large hat.

Look up the song for your birthday. #1 Song on This Date in History (It's very hard to do because the idiots have a flashing photo that keeps bringing you to the top of the page.)

I am looking for a recipe that is a Cuban Dish that is Harina con something.  It has corn meal which is very cheap and calls for water and beer, onion, tomatoes, olive oil and is cooked traditionally with Blue Crab.  I only have access to Stone Crab and made it adding the crab picked out at the last minute of cooking.   Need original Cuban Harina dish and can substitute any seafood. If you are sending it in Spanish maybe the Language Editor can translate. (Language Editor: Cafe con leche.)

To the person or persons that are always complaining about the service they get from 2 for $20 Pizza. I order at least 4 times a week from 2 for $20 and have never gotten bad service from them. The employees always seem willing to do whatever it takes to make their customers happy. Did you ever stop to think that maybe you are just an unhappy person and are not happy unless you have something to complain about and want to make others miserable just like yourself? I think the staff at 2 for $20 deserve a big kudos for a job well done. Just a little hint for you chronic complainer, if you are unhappy with service stay at home and cook for yourself.

For the record. I'm not an animal. But if you like my drum playing, I thank you for that. Also, thanks to all the other musicians here in the lower Keys. The night my new fan speaks of, Moose was just sitting in, as was I. The Moondoggies were in the chill mode, taking a break. But I will be back. Two questions for my new fan? Are you female? If so, Do you want to earn some beads, little darling? See you at the stage. Ant.

Yesterday I had to spank my monkey.

"We are...living in a free society without the faith that built that society—and without the conviction and dedication needed to sustain it... We still have the cathedral of freedom but how long will it last without the faith?" —Thomas Sowell

What has happened to your site?  The latest comments I can get is from 12th of January. (Ed: Clear your browser's cache Browser Cleaning You're seeing old pages that are stored on your computer.)

[SkunkApe sighting] We potted this thing while out walking early one morning, pretty scary.  Has anyone seen this thing?

I'll bet you're getting more hits on your Sex Offenders site now that it reads Sex Offenders.

[Dead Dog] Amen to Flitzen's owners.  My heart breaks for you as I have lost a dog in this manner on a cul-de-sac.  Stuff happens.  Just Wed. of last week, around 5 am when I was going to work, I nearly hit a Key Deer.  I was set on cruise control at 30 mph (since I was stopped awhile back for speeding, not on BP). This was on Key Deer Blvd. and I did not see the deer having a snack (I assume road kill), until he was in my headlights.  I slammed on the brakes and all my things went flying and the deer did not move until I honked the horn.  First of all I would have blamed myself and 2nd my new car would have been dented.  I share your pain. It will be easier in time. Enough said. 

[Iguana's] They also swim and hold their breath for at least 5 minutes.  Can you put up a fence?  I do not doubt or know the capabilities of the Spy Poles but eventually I'm sure exotics and invasives, both man and animal will be capable of being counted. Yea, right Big Brother.

Of course we are reaping Homeland Security money because the Gov is the Presidents brother. If it is inevitable that we will have them anyway I say let the Bush's pay for it. Damn bunch of crooks.  Don't start wearing pants while driving unless you just want to.

[...intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us]  Hey, speak for yourself dude.  I don't like to brag, but I've been contacted lots of times. I won't go into details because they asked me not to.  But don't take my word for it, look at all the others that have been visited by aliens.  What about them two guys from Pascagoula, Mississippi?  That was in all the papers.  I suppose you don't believe them.  You probably don't believe that Skunk Apes are real and living on Big Pine either, do you?

Pigs In Paradise. Yummy. Call Dave at 304-5101 for more information. (Ed: If this is a porn thing, we're not responsible.)

I made the Picadillo recipe last night and it was as good and authentic as any Cuban restaurant I've been in. Maybe the writer who said that the recipe wasn't authentic was thinking of the version they serve in parts of Mexico which doesn't include capers and olives. I like this Cuban version the best. Recipes>Picadillo

[Poor dog on Ships Way] Can you imagine what the traffic would be like on Ships Way if the cross island connector went through?  There are an unbelievable amount of speeding cars and traffic on Ships Way now. 

As an aside, I think John at True Value was for resurrecting the cross island connector.  I'm not sure, but I would definitely have to talk to him about his vision for BPK if he is going to run for commissioner.  I am a little concerned that John's stance on things has seemed to change since he has tried to sell his store.  Previously he seemed less pro development.

[Angry woman with cell phone] In the words of the Fruitcake Lady, "Who the hell cares?"

I am exhausting all my options.  I need a band/combo for a gig at a private function on 6 May Sat evening for 3 to 4 hours.  They want 50-70's easy listening and perhaps some dance numbers.  I have spoke with some local talent and need referrals. Have feelers out.  Anyone have any ideas?  I am almost to the point of telling the old fellow canned music is all I can provide. This is a paying gig.   All ideas appreciated. Business Directory>Music

Picadillo is a common Cuban dish that is very popular in Key West and Miami. The recipe posted on this site is actually very accurate: the only difference is that the picadillo I grew up with has more garlic, more tomato, and doesn't have the added Louisiana hot sauce. Serve over white rice and with some platanos tostones (http://icuban.com/food/tostones.html) makes a great meal! If you don't feel like cooking it, head to El Siboney restaurant in Key West (900 Catherine Street, a few blocks from White Street) and order theirs. Yum.

W, the President, rode into the White House on his Dad's coat tails.  I agree that Jeb would probably make a better Commander-in-Chief, but he has too much baggage from the family.

I have just about had enough of the political pirates we vote into office to help us and do our maintenance for us. They turn into greedy self indulging mutants and actually turn against the citizenry to the point of dictating to us, the way we should live.  I think it is Tea Party time again in the old coral!

[Murder most foul] For more information about Charlie Brandt, check out this website: http://jordan.fortwayne.com/jgweb/specials/thedarknessincharlie/chap1.htm

Found this on Keysnews Citizens Voice. "Why isn't there a blog in Key West like Big Pine Key has? Their's is uncensored and free to all." Hmm, you think?

[Plant Gestapo] A little feedback about you cry babies and your "Landscaping". If you put a salad in front of an animal, it will eat it. Besides that, the so called landscaping is nothing more than an effort to bring non-native plant life into the Keys where it does not belong.  Grass, pines, bamboo, and other "take over" veggies, are killing the Keys ecology, just for your BS egos. Knock it off.

[Dead Dog] Not to beat a dead horse or Dog for that matter, but I agree with the person with the dead dog. I am not sure of the neighborhood that they live in, however I find people tend to speed through our neighborhood as well. We too have lost pets to cars, and there is no leash law for cats. There are plenty of reasons to go slow in a neighborhood besides pets, a child may chase a ball into the street, kids on skate boards or bikes, and let us not forget those lovely deer. Monroe County Law or not, I have seen plenty of wandering dogs in many neighborhoods around here. Please slow it down in our neighborhoods.

[Building on Park Ave in Port Pine Heights] No, that was a typo apparently made during editing (god knows what I actually typed).

My complaint was about people on Park Ave putting yard waste out every week in a pile "just off their property line" and taking advantage of the fact that the County comes by about once a month to collect it.  These people are dumping on public property instead of bundling it or putting it in trash cans.  There is no excuse for this.

Also, now that you mention it, there is building on Park Ave. It looks like some unauthorized enclosure expansion at the rental house in the middle of the block with the trailer in the back yard (complete with people living in it), but that's another story.

Good Grief!  OK, I'm trying hard...existing with the Key Deer, neighbors dogs and an occasional ant colony. That darned iguana chased me yesterday (my husband says it went the other way just about as quickly as I flew in the opposite direction).  He (crying, he was laughing so hard) didn't think I could still move that fast. Now they say that the Gambian Rats which grows between 3 and 9 pounds and only grow to 3 feet long are getting so bad that they are setting out traps for them! Keynoter (Sat March 11th) Does anyone else think we are taking this nature thing a weensy-teensy bit too far?  My goodness they are getting huge.  I have to remember to carry some nitro with me just in case the big one comes.  It still is better down here with the warm sun, breezes, bountiful fishing and just plain relaxing; and I am doing my best with those hideous iguanas! 

[Would Parks and Recreation please help us at Bay Point]  No, because the State is planning to take over that Key by eminent domain and turn it into a "Habitat for Snowbirds", so start packing today!

AARP having a meeting?  I cannot believe people are not leaving by the dozens!  All your money is being given to PACS towards socialistic overtaxing programs used to redistribute wealth.

[We just get rid of all the vermin!]  You are the worst of all exotics down here.  You are the kind we would like to exterminate.  Why don't you pack your bags and get out of our wonderful Keys.  I vote you out, animals stay.

[critters whose poop winds up in the waters] These animals live in the wild so unless we get special diapers made for them I guess these vermin are going to keep on pooping. I remember just a short while ago someone on here was bragging about peeing in his canal. Maybe we should snip off his weenie too?

In response to "conversion to condos", you stated that expensive hotel rooms will be filled with upscale visitors would come to pay good wages.  You also stated that this has worked around the world.  As we all know the Florida Keys are years behind the mainland (which to most of us is a good thing), why not take advantage of this fact and learn from others mistakes, such as can be seen in areas such as Daytona Beach.  I am sure many of these officials had the same intensions you mention, and would be happy to assist in our own efforts.  The powers to be in Monroe County certainly have issues dealing with anything complex.  They usually do nothing that would resemble long term planning.  If they do anything it is usually a moratorium, which is actually documenting doing nothing. 

[Eight foot iguana] I've got news for you, my friend.  Number one, they don't get to be 8'.  Occasionally, a big male can reach the length of 7' (counting the tail). But to see 20 in one tree?  What kind of drugs are you on?  The males are very territorial, so I kind of doubt it.  And they don't eat animals.  Too much protein in their diet (talking about pet iguanas) will kill them. Wild green iguanas do not eat animal protein.

It's interesting that you would say they are in your bougainvillea bush. I have several bougainvillea in my yard, and the iguanas have never touched them (and I have several iguanas hanging around my yard every day, and I'm not the person you were answering to).  They were eating your "purple grass"?  Hmm...what type of "grass" were you growing?  Maybe that's what you were smoking when you saw 20 in one tree. 

You also said you didn't see iguanas in Eden Pines until 5 years ago.  Obviously, some people just don't know how to look for things.  I've been here on Big Pine for 25 years, and I was seeing iguanas right from the start. I guess I just know how to look for them.

Please bring on the spy cams, so it will prove how many people are lying about these lizards and their behavior.  Eating your exotic plants and flowers in your yard is not just cause to kill or rid us of these creatures.  I agree with the other poster.  You should plant native stuff and you wouldn't have a problem.  Go to the plant giveaways that are done twice a year, once by The Nature Conservancy, and once by Keys Energy.  I have gotten a bunch of native plants, free, from these giveaways, every year, and I have a beautiful yard (well, before Hurricane Wilma, anyway).

I like the flip flop guy too. I've seen him in his socks.

[Wind insurance] I hope the F.I.R.M. organization has a  meeting on BP soon.

[Doomsayer] I can't believe someone bought the bagel shop--what a dive. The original owner dumped it on the new suckers and then left town while the getting was good. Now after years of sub standard service, months of closures, and poor hours, she finally found another sucker. Buyer beware.

As much as I hate the insurance companies, I've come to realize if I owned one, and a person from the Keys wanted Wind , Flood, and Hurricane insurance cheep, I think I'd laugh like hell. Complaining about the rates when we're 125 miles out to sea is kind of stupid!

I was reading that we've trained two armies in Iraq, the Shia and Sunni. They are separated into different brigades in the same army. That is why we don't equip them with our best war machines because as soon as we leave Iraq the army will fight each other in the pending civil war. I think President Bush is going be seen as histories worst president. The only good thing he's done was to give us affluent folks a tax break.

Sunday March 12, 2006

Saturday March 11, 2006

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

John (True Value) has my vote we need a voice for Big Pine.  No one ever cares about us except when it is election time; then we hear promises of whatever we ask for and never receive.

[Trash pile on Kyle] Maybe someone from code enforcement is reading this site.

News-Barometer article on Feral Cats:  What is a Feral Cat?  For the answer to this question and other topics such as, domesticating or trapping these cats go to www.feralcat.com for information.  It is a San Diego site, but it does have information that is interesting.  Just sharing, have a fantastic day.

[Dead Dog] Boy, what a can of worms this opened. Look, we are fully aware of the fact that our failure to secure our gate caused our dog's demise. The point that I was originally making was that when people speed down the road in a neighborhood (which they do all day long) it makes it hard to stop for something unpredictable such as a dog, cat, or kid on a bike. This is a neighborhood and leash law or not, there are kids, dogs, cats in the street. Let us please just try to slow down. The person who hit our dog is not the only one who tends to go a little over the speed limit on our road. There is no need to continue re-hashing this. It is hard enough to deal with our loss, we are fortunate we did not lose both our dogs, and for that we are thankful.

The drummer from the house of music on Wednesday with the yellow drum set, just got back from Costa Rica. His name is Gringo Starr but here on Big Pine he is Anthony aka Ant. And, yes, he is a kick ass drummer. You can see him playing at the House of Music with the house band and also with Slap Happy Pappy. Slap Happy will be at the Hurricane in Marathon on March 22 and 23 also at the Charter school benefit Sunday the 12th at the house of music.

Just remember 2 for 20 is owned and run by the same people who own Boondocks.  Why would you expect service and quality from them?

[Angry woman calling cell phone] No, the woman doesn't have an accent. Anyway, I have the messages saved also.  Fortunately there is no privacy in harassment and I can get her number any time. Thanks for you help.

I don't mind anyone making as much money as they can, and living the life they want, but it's HOW they do it, that bothers me. Remember when a fair days work yielded a fair days pay. Not since 1970 has the pay rate gone up proportionally to product retail pricing.  That means you work for peanuts, but have to pay 10 to 1000 times your peanuts to buy the product you just made.  Check these guys out and what they do for a living.  The gap is getting wider and wider.  Forbes wealthiest people list: http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/invest/forbes/P146582.asp?GT1=7922

BP TV? Please,  I'm gonna start crying! (Ed: I tried for the last two days and worse of all is that my tech guru is moving. He's one of the few people there are who know how to broadcast live video on the internet.)

[Wednesday Moondogs]  I was there too and the drummer's name is Anthony. Nice local dude (related to Ush, was at the wedding).  Moose just happened to pop up. All the young kids in Big Pine I'm sure are more than welcomed to go "early" now to the House of Music and play.  I enjoyed hearing the young talent we have here.

[What is this? ...It has also left feces in my pool. What can I do about it?] Leave a roll of toilet paper out of course.

Another different person iguana rant. If the iguanas were here before me so be it; but they do eat a lot of what I have tried to plant and I never saw one in Eden Pines until 5 years ago. They look like prehistoric monsters (thank goodness the meteor took care of the big ones).  I had some delicate purple grass growing in between my oleanders and caught them munching on them till all twenty were gone. I tried lots of others (one at a time and they all disappeared).  It's hard enough trying to make my place pleasant for me and exist with the Key Deer. I have to shovel out the next door neighbors dog poop every morning and afternoon and now there is no way to keep out the iguanas.  Now the darn things are in my bougainvillea bush eating the red blooms and jump out just as I go by causing me to jump out of my skin. 

I am going to start calling and see what can be done to trap these pests and get them out of here.   I saw a tree on the canal and it had about 20 in it and some looked to be 8' long.  When they start swallowing cats and dogs possibly the feds will get on the case??  Why here is another good reason for the spy cams.

The drummer you speak of at the House of Music is Ant. He is probably the best drummer in the Keys and has played with just about every band down here. He does come out to join us for open mike and is always enjoyable. The Moondogs have been on a couple of week hiatus with a couple of our guys being out of town. We will be back next Wed. as far as I know. Let the good times roll!

Spy Poles here is some fun with math. They reported the traffic camera system in the Florida Keys would cost $90 million and they were putting these in everywhere in the State. There are, I think, 63 counties. Let's say not all the counties will cost as much as Monroe and not all the counties will be outfitted. So if there will be 50 counties with an average cost of $50 million that will total $2.5 Billion.

I agree Neuter Nugent. It makes a great campaign slogan.

I am also not exactly sure what a high tech Spy Satellite costs, someone else here may help out, but I think we could get a couple of pretty good ones, for $2.5 billion, to sit over Florida and take all the pictures needed to watch for traffic problems. If you have seen the detail of the satellite photos from Google Earth (and their resolution is restricted to what is released to the public) you can probably imagine how much detail the satellite photos released to the government would be. 

On second thought, I hope the Gov. doesn't read this page or I will have to start wearing pants when driving.

[Anyone can become President]  They also have to be a multi-millionaire.

[conversion to condos] Actually what is occurring here is not Hotels converting to Condos. They are converting to Condo/Hotels. The new owners will only be allowed to use them a few weeks a year. The rest of the year they will be expensive hotel rooms that they hope will be filled with rich visitors, not ones looking for a $50 a night place to sleep. The theory continues that these upscale visitors will spend enough money that businesses will be able to pay workers good wages so they can live on here. Only time will tell but it has worked around the world.

BPK Funny Fridays. Because booze can make every Friday funny. Like I said yesterday after my wisdom teeth extraction, the pain meds weren't working... thankfully I got a new prescription from Dr. Walker. Dr. Johnnie Walker. He's awesome!


Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.
~Johnny Carson

I was driving down the highway, and I'm swerving all over, 'cuz I'm trying to change the radio, and... just as I get the old one taken out... I hear this traffic cop behind me, "Whee-oo, whee-oo, whee-oo!" Well, I shouldn't make fun of his speech impediment.
~Emo Philips

I'm doing what I can for the environment. I started a compost pile. It's in the backseat of my car.
~Janine DiTullio

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."
~Steven Wright

It's absolutely stupid that we've lost the ozone layer. We've got men, rockets, Saran Wrap... Fix it!
~Lewis Black

There are obvious times when you don't want people getting high. I wouldn't want my surgeon to get high before my operation. If I'm laying there on the gurney, the last thing I want to hear is, "Nurse... gimme one of those... um... pointy things. Now refresh my memory: We're doing what here? No sh*t?!"
~David Cross

Does it matter if someone calls you a Latino or Hispanic? I don't mind Chicano, which is a Mexican-American, but Hispanic I don't like. The U.S. Census Bureau came up with it, and who wants to be associated with a word that has the word "panic" in it? In a way, it's progress; we used to be "Other".
~George Lopez

If you don't believe drugs have done good things, then burn all your records, tapes, and CDs because every one of those artists who have made brilliant music and enhanced your lives? Rrrreal f*cking high on drugs ! The Beatles were so high, they let Ringo sing a few songs.
~Bill Hicks

When you have a fat friend, there are no see-saws. Only catapults.
~Demitri Martin

If you had a penny and threw it off the Empire State Building and it hit somebody in the head, it would kill him. Talk about getting your money's worth.
~Heywood Banks

I was watching the Super Bowl with my 92-year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game he was watching was better.
~Steven Wright

I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flushed, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"
~Jim Gaffigan

If hooking a car battery up to a monkey's brain will help find the cure for AIDS and save somebody's life, I have two things to say ... the red is positive and the black is negative.
~Nick DiPaolo

People were shocked and dismayed that Dale Earnhardt slammed into a wall, his car exploded, and his head shot off. He's a stock car driver, what'd you expect? How'd you think he was gonna die, step on a Lego and have an aneurysm? If he choked on a chicken bone, you'd think he was a p*ssy. His car exploded, his head shot off... Well done, man!
~Greg Proops

Once, I wept... for I had no shoes. Then I came across a man who had no feet... so I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them.
~Jack Handey

My favorite uncle was Uncle Caveman. We called him that because he lived in a cave and every once in a while, he'd eat one of us. Later on, we found out he was a bear.
~Jack Handey

The Gay Pride Parade... I think that's great. But, they always have it in San Francisco, Los Angeles, or New York. Why bother having it there? Who are you going to convert or shock? They should be forced to take it on the road, like through the deep south. Not that I want to see them get hurt... just for the few rednecks they would convert along the way... like as they're pulling out of Tuscaloosa, there's just some big guy in overalls going, "Take me with yew Gay Pride Parade! Oh please! I wanna get mah chest waxed and make catty comments durin' 'Six Feet Under'."
~Patton Oswalt

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like ‘Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!’ and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, ‘That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.’ Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.
~Jack Handey

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
~Drew Carey

The pile on Kyle will be picked up as soon as everyone is done getting rid of their trees.  Did you even look at the pile?  It would take forever to cut that up and put it in a trash can.  Why don't you just put a sock in it or go over and ask the people that put the stuff there what's going on?  You might just make a friend, or at least let people know to stay away from nosey people like you.  Or maybe you could ask to help?  Some people are still in need of assistance.   

And there is no building going on over on Park.  Why would you put that sentence in the middle of two sentences containing one subject?  It didn't make for a complete thought.

Minnesota is the bomb cuz it has 10,000 lakes and because it's state bird is the Loon.

Paranoia [...their going to have 13 more .45 holes in their rump]  What's up Ed? I used the word ass not rump. I have seen the dreaded ass word in other postings; or is it just special people that get to use the ass word?

Brandt on TV.  My info has it on 48 hours on CBS on March 18.

Who's Brandt?

[Spy Poles] What is the yellow rotating object in yesterdays post? Looks like one of my "big girl" toys.

Dear True Big Piners and Key's Class, Thank you for being the kind of class that I am accustom to.  I work for a local bank and after getting my hair cut short, I heard from two overbearing, chauvinistic pigs, that they disapprove of my choice, like they have a say in the matter.  To these two men: I'm not going to try to rationalize your thought. I only want to thank my friends, male and female, who care about me and who I am.  What is wrong with a person who walks up to a stranger too be so rude and crass?  You should have your head examined!  A very big thank you to normal guys, great people who don't try to force a woman into a mold.  I love you guys!

Monroe County Insurance Rates are the Highest in the State. Windstorm insurance rates in Monroe County are by far the highest in the state of Florida and could increase significantly within the next year. Many residents have seen their windstorm insurance double in the past few months, and some pay more for insurance than they do for principal and interest on their homes. Whether you own, rent or just visit the Keys, this will negatively impact you. Join F.I.R.M., Fair Insurance Rates for Monroe County, the grassroots organization of Keys residents working to roll back windstorm insurance rates. Visit www.FairInsuranceRatesInMonroe.com or call (305) 295-2695. Let’s unite to win the fight. Join F.I.R.M. today.

[casual observations] Please don't take this wrong, but why don't you move? It sounds like your life is not much fun. There's a big world out there and this is a very small part of it. This is the real deal. When its done its a long time gone. Why would you want to spend another day here? The only way to get out of the hole your in   is to stop digging. Think about it. And Moose does have a big hat.

Saturday March 11, 2006

Friday March 10, 2006

I saw the request yesterday for a Picadillo recipe and it made me hungry for that spicy meat dish. So I went to W/D and got the ingredients and made it last night. It was delicious over white rice. Yum. Very good recipe. Recipes>Picadillo

I'm sorry, but the largest intelligence failure in our nation's history had nothing to do with the CIA or FBI. It occurred in the voting booths in 2004.

[True Art Bakery] My experience was similar to those expressed here. The difference was that when I got home, my muffins were moldy and the bread hard as a rock. The birds wouldn't touch it. I called back immediately, the person didn't care, said if I wanted to drive back right then (not a day later when I would be in town) she would refund my money for the muffins. The bread was from another bakery and couldn't be refunded. Not good customer service.

Stolen bike.  Blue Champ bike taken from the bus stop at No Name Road and Kyle.  If seen please call 872-1467. The bike was brand new. It's royal blue and looks like a girls bike and has "Champ" printed on the crossbar.

Poop from old people has better hang time than poop from young people. It also goes right to the back of your head and creates a fear impulse with just the slightest whiff. No one can doubt where the Venture Out poop is from.

To the lady who has an angry women calling her saying you ruined my life. Does she have an accent?  Help us out to try and identify this scorned woman.

What is this?  It shows up occasionally in my yard screaming and hissing.  It has also left feces in my pool. What can I do about it?

Neuter Nugent or suffer severely!

George Bush proves the old adage that truly anyone can become President.

Can someone tell me? I went to the house of music Wednesday, Jam night, to see the Moondogs. They were not there. Instead when I walked in I saw Moose on stage with a guitar player and this drummer playing a yellow drum set, Who is that drummer because he is  an animal on the drums? When I go out, which is not often, to see a band I want to see and hear some live ass-kicking stuff which most bands don't really do, Well, I'm here to say, "Thanks house of music that band and or Moose. You guys kicked it in the butt," When are they playing again and where? I hope that drummer is playing with you.  Who is he? Can someone help?

If anyone wants to see what an area looks like after the conversion to condos, they need to go anywhere along the shore of Daytona Beach, as I did last weekend.  There were condo units that have been under construction for the last twelve years, and still nowhere near completion.  Approximately 20% of the ocean front hotels have been torn down, with building materials left scattered about the lots and no signs of progress in the distant past or future.  You could imagine what this has done to the homeowners' pride living in the area; to let alone property values.  Most houses we looked at that were on the market were selling under $200,000.  I actually had a great deal of sympathy for these homeowners left behind.  Hopefully someone will have that same sympathy for those of us left in the Florida Keys in the near future.

[Why I don't go to No Name Pub] I was absolutely the only local in there and the place was mobbed when the tourist next to me asked, "How big is the 8" pizza?" I knew then that it was time to leave.

[What does Crime Watch mean]  If I catch someone at my house trying to commit a crime it means their going to have 13 more .45 holes in their rump then when they came.

[recipe page for a good Picadillo recipe]  There's a place in Marathon called the Key Lime Pie Factory that has some good local cookbooks. It's located in the same building complex as Marathon Liquors.

I also attended Jerry and Ush's wedding and can not agree more with the wonderful time I had.  The food, music and people were the best.  I flew in from Jersey and loved every minute I spent on Big Pine Key.  Thanks to my best friend Ush and Jerry for a rockin' good time!

Thirteen years ago Easter Day, our dog got away from us on Shipsway. She was also killed. I knew it was our fault, which made us feel even worse. We have never let a dog out of our sight since that day. The only thing that was awful for us was the driver was smashed and staying at a party rental at the time; but down deep we knew it was our fault. Please lets be kind to someone who probably already feels horrible.

Countdown with Keith Oberman on MSNBC is the smartest, wittiest, most well written and produced news program since NBC's Overnight with Linda Elerbe and Lloyd Dobins in the early 80's. Beats the hell out of anything on Fox especially that rightwing blowhard Bill O'Reilly.

Some casual observations:  I saw Al Davis, NFL owner of the Raiders on ESPN the other day. Can someone tell me when it was that he died? I don't have a boat and I am not a heavy drinker, I won't play miniature golf because I simply don't like the owners; so what is there to do here in the Keys?  I saw a guy named Moose the other day playing the blues. I did not know that they made hats that large.

I have lived in the development 22 years and have never seen the appliance truck speeding. What is the story? Was the dog on a leash? I know this must have been a horrible accident. I can't find the first story to tell us what actually happened. It is always so easy to criticize after the fact. 

[Iguanas again] To the poster yesterday that tried to discredit someone who said that the iguanas were there before you were:  You said "No, I don't think they were."  Exactly how long have you lived here?  My father was born and raised here, and he remembers, about 40+ years ago, seeing iguanas (not many, but definitely more than one).  When did they start showing up?  Who knows, but I agree with the person that quoted the veterinarian in Marathon, who said he saw one on some branches coming from the south after a hurricane.  I believe they have been here longer than most of us, so don't push this "invasive exotic" crap on us.

I am not an iguana lover, but neither am I an iguana hater, or killer.  What I do not understand is why one or more of you keep talking about these iguanas destroying your landscaping.  I probably have more iguanas hanging out in and around my yard than most people, and they are not "destroying" my yard.  Maybe the difference is that I planted mostly native stuff.  And you refer to them as "salmonella carrying vermin".  I have known several persons that have raised these reptiles, and none of them have ever contracted salmonella from them.  Any reptile can carry salmonella, including the other native ones, like our Florida box turtle.  And what does cleaning the canals have to do with the iguanas?  Are you saying that only their poop has polluted our canals, when, in fact, every time we flush our toilets, some of that "crap" finds its way to our canals?  What about the other critters whose poop winds up in the waters around us--like the herons, egrets, pelicans, raccoons, key deer, etc.?

I, for one, am finding your ranting, about what you call vermin, very boring.  Find another subject to whine about.

I flip off the spy poles every time I go by one in case someone's watching. Yes I know it's childish but I just can't help myself. Besides I don't play well with others.

I have heard that John from True Value Hardware and Big Pine Builders is thinking about running for County commission. He would have to run against George Nugent, who has had this area all to him self for a long time. I do understand that John has been on the Planning Commission and worked with the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce; and over his many years here has been very involved with local Government. Its getting to be that time again.

Are you a Yankee or a Rebel?http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/yankeetest.html

I am a local insurance agent and would like everyone to know that if they have not received enough money on their covered hurricane claim, they need to contact their agent about submitting a supplement.  Citizens and National Flood have both advised they have no problem reimbursing for the difference provided it is covered and justified.

[pile of yard waste on Kyle in Port Pine Heights]  I was wondering the same thing about the pile. Someone is building on Park Ave in Port Pine Heights.  Is it so hard to just put the stuff in a can and let Waste Management pick it up on Friday.

Dear any Funny Fridays fans (all two of you). I have to postpone Funny Fridays until tomorrow or so because I just had two wisdom teeth ripped from my jaw. It was a two-hour struggle. (You'd think the guy was wrestling with a marlin) The anesthetic was

starting to wear off towards the end so that last tug was a doozy, man. Pain medications are doing nothing for me. So rather than crying and drooling over my keyboard, I'll opt to do that on the couch watching crummy movies.

Not sure what that Picadillo recipe is, but its not Picadillo? Will get an authentic Cuban Picadillo recipe and post it over the weekend.

[It always seems to be hen vultures] Yeah, and it's scary if you're around the Key West Hospital.

Don't forget that there is going to be a hugh bake sale at the Big Pine Neighborhood Charter School this Saturday morning from 9-12.  This may be the last one of the season so make sure you come and get some goodies.  All proceeds benefit the Big Pine Neighborhood Charter School.  We can't wait to see you there!

Ed, you were referred-to in the Citizen's Voice yesterday.  Someone was lamenting that Key West does not have a blog like the "uncensored" blog in Big Pine.  If your's is censored, as you told me you do to some degree, perhaps you should call the Citizen's Voice to explain.

I am just putting it out again that our car show is on Sunday March 19th at Knuckleheads Bar & Grill MM15 US1 and I would like everyone who is interested in cars to come and check it out. There is a notice in the Bulletin Board. Hope to see you there. For more info contact me Mike Bell (305)360-2960.

Who knows anything about Brandt being on TV?

Friday March 10, 2006

Thursday March 9, 2006

Impeach Mayor McCoy. It seems every week he's doing something to anger the citizens he's supposed to serve. He's been in politics far too long. He owes too many favors. He invented the Bubba System.

I just watched All the President's Men on DVD.  Funny how power goes to these folks heads.

Angry Pizza Lover.  Actually we mostly ordered salads and wings and bread sticks.  My husband and brother are wing freaks and would eat them almost three times a week.  2 for 20 delivery people cannot even find a house in a neighborhood let alone one of the side streets in Big Pine.  I even tried to offer directions but the person on the phone knew exactly where it was.  (Once again a phone call from a lost delivery person and really nasty food that had been sitting for way too long.)  Also I have had bad experience with A Slice of Paradise.  I just don’t think people should offer delivery unless they can get it there fast.  I think all of these people need to take a lesson from the Chinese Restaurant.  Now that is service. 

To the person bragging in Tuesday's posts about burning the 39 iguana eggs, I hope Karma gets you 39 times.

The vacant lot in Tropical Bay subdivision next to Wilhelmina Way and Habitat Landing is going to be turned into a R/V park. Habitat is planning on turning that area into a disaster R/V park for 11 R/Vs. What type of sewer system is going to be installed? Or are they supposedly going to be allowed to hire a "Pump Out" vender at their own cost and actually pump into the clean canal adjacent to the lot. The plans are out there already to run water and electric. I guess you can forget the plans for a kids park on that land.

To the lady who keeps calling my cell phone, leaving messages and hanging up.  Please identify yourself or I'll subpoena the phone number from the Sheriff's office and take you to court.  You keep saying I "ruined your life".  I don't know what you're talking about.  Just because you can't trust your man or he's cheating on you doesn't mean I'm sleeping with him. I have many married friends who pass on my number because of the work I do. So you're dead wrong if you think I'm messing around with "your old man" just because my number appeared on his phone bill.

[Do you think Hillary is as big a liar as Bill] Yes, every bit as much, if not more so (if that’s possible).  I also think that Hillary (and her husband) will do and say anything, no matter how far fetched, inaccurate or just plain made up to get elected.  Her vision is to create a total welfare state where everyone is fully dependant on the government for all of their needs; thereby creating a fully socialist state with her at the top.  I believe her to be one of the most socialistic, deranged and dangerous people in American politics today. 

I looked on the recipe page for a good Picadillo recipe and found none. Can someone please share a good recipe?  And how about for some good Cuban Pork while we're at it? Amongst all of the whining, I'd like to enjoy some of the good things that we have down here.  Thanks in advance. (Martha Stupit: there is one now. I'd just never published it.) Recipes>Picadillo

The lady from Winn Dixie (Dago Ann) is alive and well and works at the Navy Base in Key West.  Her name is Anne Marie.

You can have a McDonald's, a Burger King and other junk stores. I demand to have a Brothel Bar. Yes, a real girly place where we frustrated husbands go to relax without having to put up with the wife. I think the state should pay for it