Friday March 31, 2006

John from True Value is not moving away in June.  I don't know how you get off talking about people whom you know nothing of.  And to the other poster from yesterday who says John has an agenda to sell to Publix, where have you been?  That deal fell through almost six months ago. It was in the papers and everything. It was even printed here.  Do some research you two before you start typing.

Q: How do you leave the Keys with a small fortune? A: Arrive with a large one.

Goodbye, Danno. You will be missed. Rest easy, my friend.

Is the IKC a qualified charity?  I would donate to help eradicate the Iguanas if I can deduct it from my taxes.  Then they should start on the Key Deer.  If they got rid of the deer I would not have to drive so slow through Big Pine.

I think at least one (and probably the only one) of the iguana shooters is trying very hard to sound macho. From the fire-power described, I would think they were getting ready to invade Cuba. The only thing is, unlike iguanas, the Cubans would fight back. 

“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?”--Homer Simpson

[Living comfortably off snowbirds] I'm a carpenter. The snowbirds' houses are here all year.

[In regards to the Winn Dixie on BP]  I have been trying to be open-minded about the store until last night.  The regular checkouts were about three deep and there was no one at the self-checkouts, so I opted for them.  After several bouts with the "please remove the un-scanned item from the bag audio, it finally required assistance from a store employee.  I mentioned that the scale didn't like my small bags of potato chips.  He glanced briefly at the screen and remarked that he didn't see any bags of chips on the list.  I showed him where they were on the screen and asked if he would like for me to leave the store.  He replied that he had not accused me of anything.  Right.  I told him if I was going to steal anything it would certainly be more than an 88 cent bag of chips.  What a way to prove you want customers!  I can buy milk and bread at Dions and do the rest of my shopping in Marathon or KW.  So long W/D it's been an awful experience.

[Swamp ape sighting] We caught another picture last night of whatever that is back in the gravel area's of Big Pine. We can't get close enough to get a good picture, the flash scares it off.

W/D has removed the 10 items or less lane that they had recently reinstated.

Iguana’s are always in season.  It is always open season on Varmints.  The only limit is no high powered rifles.  You do need to have a valid hunting license.  There is no bag limit.  You can get tags from Newman's Outfitters or Jiggs.  Bows are good but they do not always give you that first shot kill; then you have to chase them into the water or mangroves and hack them up with your knife or machete.  Guns with silencers work best.  Hunting on a moonless night using night vision is the best and with the silencers you can pick them off peoples' porches and they never know.

No one has to bag their own groceries at W/D that is the job of the cashier. It is nice when  the customer offers to do it themselves  and the cashier should be thankful that you are doing it. The cashier is not allowed to refuse to bag. It is their job to do so.

I have been thinking about all of the endangered species here and have realized that no one has been worrying about endangered intestinal parasites. I believe that we should deliberately infect ourselves with these parasites in order to make sure that they do not become extinct. Imagine how proud you’ll be when you can loudly proclaim while in church or in Winn Dixie, “I have worms.” This can be the new mantra of all greenies.

I was in a bar the other night and overheard a couple of people talking about a chupacabra siting in the lower Keys. I am not sure what that is, but from what they were saying, it sounded real nasty.

[Learn from the master himself]  I have never read anything more funny in my life.  The man knows so little about guitar that the only thing you could learn is that there is no one as empty as a person who is so full of himself.

True Value lets-pave-paradise-and-put-in-a-parking-lot John, was pushing for BPK incorporation not to long ago when it got shot down. I am not sure he would have the best interest of the residents of Big Pine if he were a Commissioner.

Boy, do I ever agree with the person daring the so-called Iguana Killer Club to come into their neighborhood.  They (the IKC) better not come around my house, hunting iguanas, or anything else, for that matter.  Do these idiots know that hunting is illegal in this county?  Show up around my neighborhood, and you might become the hunted.  Most of my neighbors are like me, and don't mind the iguanas that frequent our yards, as we had the intelligence and insight to plant the proper plants that they generally don't eat.

When the hell is somebody going to come up with the bright idea of having some sort of fast food on this island. We call (?)BFE, Taco Bell. Please.

Just an observation from a man's point of view:  When a women constantly refers to her boyfriend or husband as brilliant, men immediately know that the guy is a superb con artist and lies through his teeth. Only the woman hasn't yet figured it out, but she will.

What is the point of "I have something to say", if when I have something to say, I never see what I have to say. I'm a little puzzled. Help!

News Flash: Thursday afternoon during Happy Hour at Coconuts Bar, it was reported by a very reliable source, that a miracle occurred! The women present outnumbered the men 8 to 6, and all of the women had all their own teeth!   Further reports about the men's dental capacity was very sketchy, as many could only open their mouths enough to empty a beer bottle.

What's up with the tourist stopping in the middle of Key Deer Blvd in the dark with the brights on and the kids on the road looking at white tail deer? Ohio tag. Maybe we should start watching out for the tourist on Key Deer Blvd and not the whitetails.

W/D. Remember Wilma? W/D was the first to open. To bad the Marathon and Key West shoppers had to come to BPK to shop. W/D. Getting better all the time.

Duh! Classic Carpet does all of Home Depot's installations.

To the biker who posted the message for the bad woman driver from California. Well said. Very well said. Your post was quite thoughtful and to the point. I don't ride a motorcycle myself, but I have seen some drivers treat bikers very badly on the road. You are generally a good group of drivers, and if you could just install good mufflers, the public's perception of you would get a huge improvement.

To the 19-year-old BPK kid who stole a truck then passed me on the right shoulder on the bridge between Sunshine Key and Bahia Honda, caused an accident then left the scene on foot.  I hope the lady in the van you crushed will be okay.  My kids are shaken and can't stop talking about how scary it was with all the cars going every which way.  They watched you swerving and smashing into the van and into the guard rails on both sides of the bridge.  They keep asking if you will be alright; innocently oblivious to the fact that you could have killed them today.  You are a selfish, dangerous idiot.  I'm assuming you'll have plenty of time to think in jail.  I hope you find yourself.  If not, I hope you weed yourself from the gene pool immediately upon release.  I know your name and face and I can't wait to see your mug shot tomorrow in the arrest record.  Your parents must be so ashamed.   

BPK Funny Fridays. Now with minty flavor crystals!

You ever know anybody that bounced a check to pay a bounced check? Yeah, that was me. But what about those fools that let you pay a bounced check with a check? They deserve not to get paid.
~Herb Clark

I like fishing, but I don't have any patience. So I use an aquarium.
~Craig Scharf

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
~Rita Rudner

I get winded when I use a rotary phone
~Jonathan Katz

There's debate now on whether pilots should carry guns. On the one hand, the skies would be safer. On the other hand, guns and alcohol don't mix.
~Conan O'Brien

PETA, the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, are against eating meat. "They say, "Don't eat anything that has a face." My standards are a little more relaxed. I won't eat anything with a job.
~Nosmo King
 

Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
~George Carlin

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
~Steven Wright

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat... that's bad for you.
~Tommy Smothers

You ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
~John Mendoza

I saw a product in the market, Mr. Salty Pretzels. Isn't that nerve? Everything nowadays is low-salt or salt-free. Here's a guy, "The hell with that: Mr. Salty Pretzels!" Like Mr. Tar and Nicotine Cigarettes... Mr. Gristle and Hard Artery Beefsteak.
~Bill Maher

The NFL cheerleaders are gorgeous and sexy, but are their cheers helping anybody? Ever see a player interviewed after the game say, "We were down pretty big in the fourth quarter, but then the cheerleaders started chanting, 'Defense!' That's when it dawned on the coach, 'Them gals are right!'"
~Gary Gulman

New York City hotels have free condoms in the rooms. All these years I've been using the free shower cap.
~David Letterman

It would be kinda embarrassing trying to explain what an appetizer is to someone from a starving country, though. "Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food... No, no... you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food."
~Jim Gaffigan

I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"
~Jim Gaffigan

I can't believe we got grades in gym class, I've never used anything I learned in there. "All right, I'm standing in front of a room full of strangers, based on what I learned in gym class, I will throw a red ball at a fat guy."
~Jim Gaffigan

New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.
~Emo Phillips

Milk Bone dog biscuit commercials showed dogs being ashamed of their bad breath. Those were realistic. I think if my dog was concerned about his breath, he'd stop eating his own vomit.
~Drake Sather

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: 'Mankind'. Basically, it's made up of two separate words: 'mank' and 'ind'. What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and so is mankind.
~Jack Handey

I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
~Jack Handey

I said to the bartender "Suprise me." He pulled out a naked picture of my wife.
~Rodney Dangerfield

There should be a detective show called "Johnny Monkey," because every week you could have a guy say "I ain't gonna get caught by no MONKEY," but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that.
~Jack Handey

I went into a deli and got an egg sandwich and a hot chocolate. And then I went outside and I had to get a cab, so I had to put up one of hands. But I already started eating my sandwich; I took it out of the bag, I was impatient. So my choice was hold up an egg sandwich or hold up a hot chocolate to get a car. So I chose the hot chocolate. And I put it up there and no cab stopped and I realized it was because I looked like I was toasting traffic. Standing on the street, 'Here's to you guys, to everybody heading west, I just wanna say I like what you do... but one of you needs to stop, pick me up.'
~Demetri Martin

I'm not a card carrying member of the IKC but I want to be.  The other day a large Iguana was getting ready to do a squat on my dock and since my air rifle was upstairs I had to grab a rake and rap him over the head.  He ran only about ten feet and stopped so I beat him again.  He's lucky I didn't kill him and throw him in the canal.  Even though I didn't finish him off this time I still want to join IKC since I have a very good kill ratio with my rifle.  I also need a club tee shirt if anyone knows where to purchase one.

[motorcyclist who posted a ladies license tag Get a life. We locals put up with people jumping in front of us everyday, and stopping without warning, etc. For you to report her means you must be one of those road rage people since it was on your mind all day and you could not wait to publish it.]

Hi, It's that time again, April Fools Day. FloridaKeysTreasures.com will once again post some fun stories with a Keys flavor. Last years stories about "Sharks Driven Insane by Navy Sonar" and others were the biggest success yet for this annual feature.

You are being provided a sneak preview of these pages. If you find any stories that you would like to mention on your site, feel free to link to them. There is nothing offensive but they do poke fun at some well know Keys personalities.

The stories include Katrina spawning giant lobster, Key West drunks helping to payoff the City's court judgments, Iguana Flu and more.

http://www.floridakeystreasures.com/april2006/

Dear Village Idiot, It's funny that you said, "We Locals put up with..." because I'm a full time  Big Piner.  I put up with lizards, Win Dixie, Hurricanes, that incredibly  cute guy from Jackson Hewitt, illegal immigrants, snow birds, Key Deer, Key  Cats, broken links to this website, traffic, floods, government, chickens,  tourists at No Name and skunk ape sightings just like everyone else.  One thing, however, I'd rather not put up with is bad motorcycle etiquette.  I hope my post made a few people more aware of the two wheeled vehicles on the road and maybe, just maybe, everyone will be a little bit safer.

I figured that since I gave a partial plate number from California that people like you might stick up for the local guy when it comes to out-of-towners putting the islanders who live here in danger.  I want everyone that read your response to remember it, each and every time a  motorcyclist gets hurt or dies on US 1.  I'm not planning on responding to any more of your comments; just know that when tragedy strikes, I'll be posting "Thanks Village Idiot!" with a link to the incident because you told  me to, "Get a life."

These women don't even know how to spell classy! This is real funny.
Redneck Women

Friday March 31, 2006

Thursday March 30, 2006

What's all this fuss over snowbirds? I really don't care where my neighbors are from. I just want them to be good neighbors. Snowbirds, Conchs, Americans, Europeans, Africans, Latin Americans, Middle Easterners, retirees, young people, long-timers, or newly arrived, married, single, gay; it really doesn't matter to me. If you're friendly, quiet, keep an attractive home and property, and don't cause trouble in the neighborhood I will welcome you with open arms. I don't care how long you've been here or how "local" you are, just don't be a loud drunk. I don't care how rich you are here or up North, just treat me and the neighbors with respect and expect same in return from the rest of the neighborhood.

A fundraiser for Jason Cadwell who has brain cancer will be held at the Vineyard Church (100 County Rd) Friday from 5-9 pm For more info call 305-942-9192.
Bulletin Board

John from True Value is tired of the Keys and moving away in June. Why does anybody want a county commissioner who doesn't want to live here anymore? How would that benefit us here? Stop asking for something ridiculous for goodness sake!

Free computer class this Saturday at the Senior Center from 10am-noon. Be there or be square. For more info  Betz 872-2656 betzzz@bellsouth.net Bulletin Board

Cookies are cleared and going gangbusters! Goodness this website is like a drug. And a very good one. Thanks Ed.

Friends and I went to House of Music for drinks and a late lunch.  The sandwiches were excellent as were the very plump and just right chicken wings.  It looks like they are really trying hard to fix up and make things right.  The odor problem has been solved and the bathrooms are being remodeled.  The bartender, formerly of the place next door, was busy with a nearly full bar but the service was quite prompt.  It’s not fine dining but it’s local, friendly, funky and the food is good.  I’ll go back for wings and brews!

The guy at Jackson Hewitt dumped the girlfriend because she lied to him. Go get him ladies. He's a great catch!

To chime in about our neighborhood grocery store, I think W/D is doing a fine job. An occasional bad head of lettuce and having to wait in line for 20 minutes on a Sunday afternoon are two pretty common occurrences at all grocery stores. I'm just thankful that we have W/D just a few minutes drive away from most of our homes. It sure beats having to drive to Key West or Marathon in order to buy a gallon of milk.

[Thursday Funnies] Quotes from Groucho I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

How can I join the IKC?  I want to do my civic duty.

[12 million illegal immigrants. Let's deal with them as fellow human beings.]  Bull!  Let’s deal with them by rounding them up like the unskilled, under educated illegal law breakers they are and throwing their welfare sucking asses back where they came from (including their 12 kids). Give them short notice to go home and make it a felony to remain illegally with severe penalties if they don’t accept deportation.  If some one wants to immigrate here legally according to our laws and immigration guidelines fine, but, come here illegally and face apprehension, detention and deportation immediately.

A word for the fuzz. I'm not a cop and couldn't imagine having that job. It seems there's ninety-nine bad comments for every one good. I have a few cop-friends; former cops I should say, (retired). They are super nice guys. Some men do become cops because of the "badge complex". The majority of police officers who wanted the job to genuinely protect and serve the public keep an eye on that type of cop. They are dangerous and give fellow officers a bad reputation. 

Whatever your opinion I wish you could have been on the scene two years ago up in Lake Worth, FL. An 8 year old girl was missing. Town cops and county deputies swung into action. One of the officers happened to be alert enough to look into a construction dumpster not far from the girl's home. He heard a small cry. Someone had beaten the little girl almost to death and placed her into the dumpster. They then piled heavy concrete rubble on her, hoping she'd suffocate.

The Lake Worth officer saw her. He immediately jumped into the dumpster while hollering for help. Soon three other fellow officers were on the scene, throwing concrete for all they were worth. They dug the little girl out in the nick of time. As she was placed into the ambulance it was still touch and go. Filthy and bleeding, with tear-stained faces, the officers had done all they could.

 
Later when it was known the little girl would survive and recover, the officers were interviewed as to what happened. Some one asked, "What did you think when you heard the little girl would live?" The officer answered "That's what makes the job worthwhile." Most cops don't want to make your life harder by giving you a ticket. They have to live too, and they are not paid nearly what they're worth. Try to look at them in a different light.

["Critical Concern" maneuvering]   I wonder if there are any lobbyists involved with this issue and if there are, who are they representing?

Is there a bow season for Iguanas?  Do I need a special permit?  This really sounds like fun.  I can't wait to go the next IKC meeting. Do they offer a lifetime membership?

Does the IKC (Iguana Killer Club) have T shirts? I would love to buy one.

Classic Carpet came to my rescue!  On March 11 I went to Home Depot to purchase carpet for a spare bedroom.  I chose an in-stock carpet hoping to have the carpet installed quicker.    I have family visiting on March 29 and I thought I would have plenty of time.  It took 13 days (3/24) for Home Depot's guys to come out to measure (this was after I called to find out where they were).  The man told me I would know in 48 hours what the total cost would be.  Here it is Wednesday 3/28 and I am still waiting.

On Monday 3/26 I went to Classic Carpet and told them of my predicament.  Linda and the guys at Classic Carpet were very helpful and they installed my carpet the next day.  I even like the in-stock carpet Classic had better than the in-stock carpet at Home Depot.  Thank you Linda and the Classic Carpet guys!

I would not mess with the IKC.  My cousin is a member; they are all about 11 short of a dozen.  One guy has some LAW rockets he brought home from Nam.  These guys are better armed than most small countries.  They are all ex-military and have fully auto M-16s, Grenade launchers, 50 Cal semi and fully auto rifles.  They make bombs for fun and love to blow up things.  They have military vehicles and bullet proof vests and they use silencers.  That is why you never hear the gun fire.  I avoid them like the plague.  I called the FBI about them but I think they are connected to some big wheels because the investigation was shut down before it was started.  They may be CIA or mercenaries, all I know is they are f***ing crazy dangerous people.  Good thing they are good guys because I would not want them looking for me.

[Old Bag refused to bag] So it's you that is holding up my line. I try to get behind a man in line. Men always bag, don't use coupons, don't write checks and are out of there faster than women; especially old women.

Keep up the good work BP W/D.   I must applaud the ladies who work in the aisles; they are most helpful an courteous. Best of all they speak English. 

True Value John is the man to do it. Look how hard he works now.

Does anyone else see something wrong with these two headlines, as juxtaposed next to each other on the Washington Post site today?
"Abramoff Sentenced to Nearly 6 Years in Prison Disgraced former lobbyist at center of corruption scandal gets the  minimum sentence allowed for his role in a Florida fraud case."

John True Value and Rosie Dell are great.  Let's get them to run for the commissioners' seats.

I took my little iggies sightseeing to Big Pine Key last weekend. They have read so much about your local native population of their cousins and where very excited. While showing them some of your Key Deer there was a loud car backfire and I dropped them. They instantly scattered in all directions. I hope they are able to find each other and stay together in a colony. There were 3 males George 1, George 2 and George 3 and 3 females Georgina 1, Georgina 2 and Madonna (she has always been a bit horny). If any of you wonderful Piners see them I would appreciate any news and photos would be great. I have attached a family photo that was taken last year to help you identify them. They look much the same now except they are all about 3 feet long now.

John/True Value has the agenda of selling his property to Publix.  That's not usually a good reason to elect someone to office.

Snowbirds have enabled you to live here all these years in the style you always wanted?  How is it possible to work only 3, 4 or even 5 months out of the year (for snowbirds) and live here comfortably when most folks have to work 2 jobs 12 months out of the year just to get by?  What exactly do you do for the snowbirds? Is it legal?

We couldn't find a bowling for Iguanas game, but this bowling for pelicans game is almost as good.  You just wait for the cat's head to get in a position and you "click", hoping for a strike the score will accumulate. You'll have to click the "continue" button when it asks. http://upchucky.com/games/hairball-bowling.html

[Kudos and Whiners NOT FOUND] Clearing your cache won't help as much as going to the new file name.  Try this one: http://bigpinekey.com/Pages/kudos_and_whiners_frames_.htm

After a year long study, researchers have determined why all men have two hands.

Regarding the person who refuses to do their own bagging of groceries at W/D. It is quite obvious you may have limitations, as you stated in your note, I agree with you there should be a rule or perhaps a law that would eliminate such inhumane practices. You are totally within your right to complain as this is a huge issue.

Ed, what are the new submission rules?  They have obviously changed.  How about letting us know so we don't waste time submitting posts that will end  up in the recycle bin.  Or maybe we could just move some of our discussions to Yahoo groups, if they're not suitable for this site.

To the motorcyclist who posted a ladies license tag on here because they had a problem.  Get a life. We locals put up with people jumping in front of us everyday, and stopping without warning, etc. For you to report her means you must be one of those road rage people since it was on your mind all day and you could not wait to publish it.

Bookmark this site. It might come in handy for some of our snowbirds while they're not here. http://www.tragicsolutions.com/

[Amanda and Ryan] How is St. Thomas? We hope you're having a great time.

Thursday March 30, 2006

Wednesday March 29, 2006

[Habitat field] Actually they were going to let the Habitat home owners association decide what type of park to put in that field, but Habitat for Humanity (Bill Lowey) donated it to Monroe county and that is who is allowing the trailers.  The Habitat landing residence (like everyone else) never heard anything about that property until construction started.  That field will continue to flood, glad I won't have to deal with it.  Keep making those noise complaints.     

Ed, Whoever you are, I love you but I'm not so sure about telling someone to lighten up for being offended by the allusion to Auschwitz. Its sort of like telling a dead baby joke to people you know lost a child. Maybe it's just one of those things you don't touch.  Finally, a woopsie (in my opinion).  And all this time I thought you were perfect like the rest of us. Thanks again for doing this job.

[Will not bag] Nobody is telling you to get behind me at Winn Dixie.  Maybe I am much slower bagging than you are.  I have limitations to a certain degree.  Just because we live in a slower type community, doesn't mean that we should accept such poor service.  Whether it be service in a place to eat, or fresh meat in a grocery, we shouldn't put up with substandard practices. 

That pet cremation picture was tacky. There was just no need for it. I know you apologized for it, Ed, and I hope it was just a faux pas on your part. I have no use for religion, but that was just wrong.  Regarding the "if money is the route of all evil, then why do churches beg for it?" I don't know who posted that, but good point.

[IKC Update] IKC has just about cleaned out the Iguanas in the canals we patrol. We are requesting input on nuisance areas from residents, let us know where the Iguanas are nesting and pooping their cement-like excrement.  We are meeting this weekend for a real blood bath Iguana slaughter, let us know ASAP and we will include your neighborhood.  The clubhouse needs more room for all the tails.  Jif got 20 last weekend--a new IKC record.  Membership is open, come and join in the murderous joy of eliminating rodents from our beautiful Keys.  Award banquet is next weekend for dinner and trophies.  Top Iguana Killer trophy is still up for grabs as well as biggest Iguana, longest tail, cleanest head shot and bloodiest kill.  Long distance Iguana shoot will commence after banquet, winner take all.

True Value John should consider running for County commissioner.  This is a time for somebody like John, who has had an interest in Big Pine for over 35 years,  not a snowbird politician like Nugent, who is only thinking about his political career .  We need somebody that will clean up the ugly highway mess.  Let the property owners tear down all those ugly falling-down buildings and build new up-to-date buildings, get the county to landscape the highway, fix the traffic situation at Ships Way and many other places around town. We need affordable housing.  If we don't get housing for our workers  we will be importing workers from all over the country, then you will see how bad things will be.  Let's petition  John to run for county commissioner!

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. --WC Fields

Iguanas.  The other white meat

I don't know who this low life scum is that keeps bringing up the IKC (Iguana Killer Club), but I hope you come around my neighborhood looking for iguanas.  You'll be staring down the barrel of my gun, and your tail might be hanging up in my club house for all to see.  Maybe I should start an Iguana Killer-Killer Club.

Camera poles are hindrance not a help. I agree some are very close to the road edge. God forbid they kill a mangrove tree to properly locate them. While swerving home from the bar, if I hit one of those things FL DOT will certainly hear from my attorney. So the road is closed. What are the options? Route 95, 295 or 287? No. There is only one road and it’s closed! We don’t need expensive ugly cameras to tell us we aren’t going anywhere for a while.

Tuesday Lobsang Rampa published "The Third Eye" in the 50's. I read it in the late 60's during the LSD days. I was very influenced by that book as was a whole subculture. It still is the most widely read book about Tibet. Unfortunately it was proven to be a hoax. So much for LSD.

[photo of concentration camp oven] Were you advertising before this post was on this site?  Of course you weren't. So why do you try to sound like you were? Chance's are you own a t-shop on Duval street. So why don't you list your business name for those of us that would rather boycott you. Grow and put it to rest.

Iguanas are a protected species. Protected by fools that think they are a native species. Do these people think that we should stop mosquito control? I bet they were here long before the iguanas.

[Jackson Hewitt] I had my return done there and the guy is cute. Sorry to hear that he has a girlfriend who is hot!

To the lady driving the Green Toyota Camry with the California license plate ending in 818 between mile marker 30 and 20 Tuesday morning. Please stop being a bad driver. You should try to avoid merging into traffic if it means cutting off a motorcycle.  Let me explain why. What you didn't see was the tan Saturn being driven by an even worse driver than yourself tailgating me so closely that if I had slammed on my brakes to let you in he would  have run me over. Sorry if I scared you when I zipped by in the merge lane but that's just how slow you were going compared to the speed limit.  You  made a bad decision, things happen, I'm okay with that. 

What I am not okay with was you tailgating me so closely that I read your entire license plate number with my side mirror after the initial incident.  You don't need  to intentionally intimidate motorcycle riders, we are already scared to death of bad drivers like you.  While your bad decision may result in a fender bender for you, it could have resulted in death for me.  Please drive safely.

A link for everyone else except the anal probe guy and the "animal cruelty" person and we can't leave out the Jewish person.  If you find this site offensive--don't look. http://www.nexusmagazine.com/articles/maryj.html. 

[Skunk Ape Hunting] We have been going out every other night or so on our Skunk Ape Hunt. Up until Sunday night all we had seen were deer and iguanas. Sunday we caught this picture. We were on Big Pine, off a dirt road. Sorry the picture is so poor, but we were caught off guard. We're not sure what it was. We will be going back though. A buddy of mine has a night vision camera, hopefully we can use that and not scare it away.

My anal-probed neighbor is at it again. He says his wife was also abducted by aliens a few years ago and impregnated. In other words, his doesn't think the kid is his. I have noticed that the kid has a sort of gray tinge to him, and he seems to be able to communicate with the iguanas.  Living on Big Pine is starting to get real interesting.

Aaahhh!  I've run scan disc and defragged every drive I can find. I've cleaned my browser and anything else on this darn thing and I can only open the home page, but not the gossip column.  Having withdrawal symptoms here!  Help! (Ed: I fixed the broken link as soon as I broke it. I suggest you clear your browser one more time. Don't you just hate computers when they don't work right?)

Help! This is what we are getting when trying to open gossip on your site:
Not Found. The requested URL /Pages/kudos_and_whiners_2005.htm was not found on this server. Additionally, a 404 Not Found error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request.

(Ed: I hate that message. Clear your browsers cache. I was house cleaning and I changed the name of the file and created all kinds of havoc. My screw up has been corrected, but people are still seeing directions that are stored on their computers. You need to clear those cookies, baby!)

[Environmental Fanatics]  Kudos to the person who responded to religious fanatics versus environmental fanatics.  Spot on!  Everyone should read the book by Michael Crichton "State of Fear."  You can't put it down and he really did his homework on the environment. 

I put up a new mailbox last week to replace the one some kids had knocked down.  I received a note this week from my Postal Lady, it read, "You, life, your sex organ and your mailbox are all too short, please remedy these situations or mail service will be discontinued."  I think I am offended, but I'm not sure.

Our humor editor, Dan Schwab, has finally gotten to the bottom of the alien probe mystery.

[lousy picture] I couldn't make out what the picture of the "new real-estate in the lower Keys" was of in Mondays kudos and whiners. 

[Soda or pop] I thought that Seahorse Trailer Park was bay side not bay front.

If you don't like W/D then go to Publix in Key West or up in Marathon.  Good Grief, quit bitching. Publix will get here sooner or later.  Sooner would be better though.

Ed, I think you print what people say; and not what you think should be said. Why don't the readers just accept that?

And for the Jews, some things are said that shouldn't be said, but I tend to send those comments to the recycle bin. (Ed: yes, my recycle bin is full of vicious anti-Semitic posts from the truly bigoted amongst us. Sad.)

Goodness!  Doesn't everyone have a laptop in their car?  Even my XM radio has links to the verbal side of these sites and tells you where all the accidents are on the minute.  Join the 21st century and love the ease.  All you have to do is log on to the site and at least you can see if there is an accident before you leave.  Down here the best thing to do is leave early and drive slowly. Spy Cams: http://host.maptuit.com/fdot/?config=TrafficW.FDOT&aoi=11  

The love of money is the root of all evil. 

I like Winn Dixie. I like bagging my own groceries. Why just stand there. Keep progress moving.  Big Pine is a good place to shop.

Kudos to the poster who loves snowbirds.  I am one and I happen to be lucky enough to have some great locals on my street.  The latest group seem to all work very hard, are very considerate of loud noise at night.   They mostly walk their dogs and retrieve the mess and in general are a great bunch of people.  I really try to get along and try to also pay an honest wage for the jobs needing to be done.  We can all get along and give each other space. 

I think the Keys Disease group is fast leaving and I respect anyone trying to make it down here with the cost of living.  Face it, most of us snowbirds are in an older age group and although we are hard working and fun loving we want a quieter, easier life down here and the locals are hard working rip roaring and going thru the prime of life; there are bound to be clashes. 

I think the greatest problem is the respect of property. People who own and pay the incredible taxes and insurances make even a modest house cost them $2000 a month and that is with no mortgage.  When we try to clean up our act and keep it neat and well manicured we don't want other trucks and trailers parked on our lots and the renters never have enough room because there are so many of them renting the houses and seawalls for fishermen etc.  When I talk to other snowbirds, that is the biggest complaint.  I try to do my best to keep my little lots clean and neat and when some other house is a real mess the best thing is to look the other way because they just don't care and I don't have the right to try to make them care. 

About the person who did not like Asheville and the Biltmore House. Sorry you didn't enjoy them.  Perhaps you were there at the wrong time of the year.  I love shopping in the Village.  I also shopped at the gardens gift shop at the House, and bought several gifts at good prices (on sale).

I have been there several times, usually on special occasions, for a fantastic meal.  There are 4 places to eat.  Stay at the Biltmore Inn, have their wonderful afternoon tea, and the great breakfast buffet.  Dinner at the Vineyards is the greatest!  Lunch at the Biltmore gardens is wonderful.  My son and beautiful (?)DIL live in Hot Springs and take me there for Christmas (The tour of the House is complete--all 4 floors) which is beautiful; my birthday or any special day.  We will be going up for Mother's Day and you can bet they will take us to the Biltmore for a fabulous lunch. 

A link for the "anal probe guy" and his neighbor. http://www.nexusmagazine.com.

[on when do the clocks change] Good.  I think it is this Sat at midnight.  I could be wrong.  Could the calendar editor please clarify? (Ed: Calendar editor? You're asking the wrong website. We have trouble finding the day. No one here has a reliable concept of time.)

[Pet cremations] You need to know that the ashes that are returned to you may or may not be your beloved pet. You see, when pets are cremated they are done several at a time due to the expense of firing the crematory to the required heat necessary to reduce the frozen body to a ashes.  It's rather expensive given that it isn't guaranteed to be your pet's ashes returned. Some vet's will tell you this, others won't.

Wednesday March 29, 2006

Tuesday March 28, 2006

There's nothing wrong with W/D. They're still cheaper than Publix. The KW Publix is dirty and the lines are too long. I think that radical W/D complainer is just a neurotic house wife with a lot of gas.

Yesterday someone was against the County buying the Seahorse Campground for affordable housing. They stated that the place would be a slum. I disagree. The KW Housing Authority has done a very good job managing affordable housing for about fifty years with strict rules and well maintained apartments. Another writer said that the government must own the property for affordable housing to remain affordable in the future. This also is true otherwise market rates will creep in.

RealTraffic Video. How can this be of help when you're in traffic unless you have a laptop in your car?

I love the Snowbirds. They've enabled me to live here all these years in the style I've always wanted. I've worked for them without them causing me any problems at all. Those that don't work hard would call me rich and greedy. Others would call me comfortable.

What non-cook asked why the need to shop every day? There is nothing to compare with fresh bread and vegetables. I would say seafood, but all we have here is W/D's frozen and dyed seafood.

I saw some free software once on the internet that would tell you when anyone mentioned your name. How foolish of me not to have downloaded it. I would love to know if any one is "pinging" me.

Some other groovy free software would impose a puzzle pattern over any photo or picture. Then you could glue it to a board and cut it out with a jig saw and have a cool puzzle. I forgot to download that one too.

[Spring] I can feel the rain, why doesn't it come?

The dedication of the new Lord of the Seas Lutheran Church on Key Deer Blvd last week was really nice. The feeling inside the new church is wonderful. I felt really good in there. And that's what it's all about.

To the Jewish person who was insulted by the Oven picture, the person who posted that picture has the same right to do so, as you do to complain about it. It is why America exists. Free thought, free press, free everything. I doubt Israel has the same rights. 

[Pet cremation] The Auschwitz picture is really un-called for.  Your local vet should offer the services.  If not Marathon Animal hospital does. 

Thanks for the info on where to find a NY Times. I have lived here 5 years and never noticed they were in front of CVS.  I passed them every day. Anyway nice article on the front of the business page about the company my son works for Heavy.com  They talk about all of his work. I am very proud of him, yah!  All the hard parenting is paying off.

What did food taste like before we knew we could eat chicken?

I love it here.

About the Seahorse Trailer Park post.  At the end of your post you stated "The county could have bought this bay front land for the people and didn't."   

I guess you have been reading the comics again, the county already purchases land with funds from grants like Florida forever and bought the old quay in lieu of this but don't let facts interrupt your nonsense. 

[Pet Cremation. The Editor is a Bigot]  For God’s, Buddha’s, Jesus’, Mohammad’s, and the Anal Probe Guy’s sake--lighten up!  I don’t believe the Editor is a racist because of his choice of a photo and the person that wrote in and said that Key’s are being taken over by “God’s Chosen People.”  Well, someone needs to help the Keys. Who I really, really feel sorry for are the poor servers and bartenders working the local bars and restaurants. First the Canadian snowbirds who don’t tip and now the even cheaper “God’s Chosen People.”

Look out Ed, I think you may have offended the Jewish folks. Law suits are soon to follow. If you really want to tick off a more powerful group than the Jews, try slamming Scientology. They have over a hundred lawyers on retainer willing and able to sue anyone that questions their "religion."  Just look at what they tried to do to South Park. Hopefully, you won't wind up like Chef.

What happened to you Monday? You came up as not found on the net, but anyway hope to have you back Tues.  Miss you. (Ed: I was messing with renaming files and screwed up the link. It's all better now.)

For those that have waited to get their taxes done. There is a Jackson Hewitt office in Key West and they are open 9a.m. till 9p.m. Check it out.

I just love hating snowbirds! Dan, I do feel better.

Tuesday March 28, 2006

Monday March 27, 2006

Winn Dixie. OK, I had to go on a Sunday so I just went.  Gosh they had plenty of checkers and a really nice manager was helping everyone out on the self-checkouts.  I really took time and looked at the store not just the stuff on the shelves.  I know the parent company is in bankruptcy, but, I really think if they keep on doing what they are doing here on Big Pine that they will possibly crawl out of bankruptcy.  The store was clean and the produce section was chock full of really fresh goods, the flower section was just breathtaking (I had to grab some of those) and the shelves were well stocked.  I found everything I wanted and had fun chatting with a few others.  Way to go Winn Dixie you are getting better!

To the person claiming that iguanas are a protected species. Could you please cite that statue number for me? I've looked high and low for it to no avail.

To the person asking about pet cremation. You can call any veterinarian to help you with this.

Mile Marker 24 was great. Is nice to see a band that isn't full of themselves.

Daylight Saving Time - When do we change our clocks? In other words, let's make this just as complicated as we possibly can!

Here's a challenge for all you complainers. Let's try eliminating the word hate from our vocabulary for just a week. Can you do it? Try not starting your rant with "I hate..." wouldn't the world be a nicer place...for a week? Instead how about starting your post with "I love..." just thought it would be a challenge for some.

[Habitat field]  That property is owned by the Home association of the owners at Habitat Landing.  Tropical Bay Estates owns the land at the canal and ten or so feet beyond that.  The field is supposed to be a park for the residents of Big Pine Key.  If they think they are going to put trailers there during the hurricane season they are nuts.  That field floods every time there is a storm.  And there will be complaints regarding noise.

I'm so sick of everyone marching for illegal aliens. Send them back to their home countries and fine all the people employing them. Except for Teasers, of course.

To the poor person who is watching out for all the animal cruelty, I hope for your sake you get a life so you do not have to run mine for me. It must be hard on you!

About the Seahorse Trailer Park post.  At the end of your post you stated "The county could have bought this bay front land for the people and didn't." 

Do I understand correctly that you want the county to take a lot of the tax money we pay on our homes and buy the land under your trailer and give it to you or just keep it and the county runs a trailer park?   What part of capitalism do you not understand?  You can still make the late plane for Cuba or Russia, but I don't think you will like their utopia.  It just doesn't turn out right when everybody quits working 'cause mother government is going to take care of everyone.   Possibly we could take our tax dollars and buy you a milk cow and a few chickens while we are at it.

RealTraffic  Here is the site for the traffic cams.  It is super and has any up to date traffic accidents and construction on it.  This will be a major help on and off the Keys and at least give us a guide and the authorities when evacuating for hurricane or other terror.

[The Seahorse Campground and the county should have bought it] Not with my money. The county, state or federal folks should never be in the rental or real estate or retail business. These are places were the free market must rule, like it or not. You Sir or Ms. have the wrong country, this is the USA. Without a free and open market we lose. GM, Ford, etc. must do good or fail because they have  given the market what it wants. The last thing we need is another state run slum. Seahorse campground will be a great improvement to Big Pine Key. The folks that must leave or move will have to leave or move. I have been here all my life and it looks like I may not be able to stay. That's life, get used to it, or don't, but it's still life. I would like to know the difference in the tax base between a campground and 100 homes. The state, county and federal system is not your caretaker, nor should it be, France, that's the spot for you. They will take care of everything. Have a safe trip. God bless the USA.

Where's our tax money going? http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12011850/displaymode/1176/rstry/11442705/ 

The illegal immigrants, and they have the nerve to protest the government they don't support, pay taxes to, and leach welfare from? They would be shot in other countries.

[Muslim who converted to Christianity killed] Islam is a violent and barbaric set of beliefs, just like Christianity and Judaism. All organized religions are nothing more than con jobs by those would be in power and riches, and control the weak through mysticism and BS!  Ask any of them to prove the stuff they sell!

My anal-probed alien abducted neighbor now has started wearing aluminum foil on his head; he says it is to keep the aliens from transmitting into his brain. I am starting to wish the mother ship would take this guy away.

"Slay the enemy wherever you may find them."--Q'uran 

(PHOTO CENSORED to prevent hurting the feelings of thin skinned people) I had my dog cremated two years ago at Marathon Vet Clinic. The staff is very compassionate and very understanding at this difficult time. I don't remember the cost, it didn't matter at the time I wanted it done no matter what. Call them, they will be glad to help you out.

I've heard it said that Big Pine could easily be called "West Virginia by the Sea".  It's got a nice ring to it.

[Cops are the good guys]  No they aren't, they tend to be anti-social non-conformists, with a "Badge Syndrome" complex. Add a gun and you have a dreamer who can explode at any time. Ask Cops' ex-wives.  Most female cops play soft ball.  Most Military "Lifers" are the same.

Do you mean finally I have found a use for the ACLU?  They might help me get the right to trim a mangrove bush on my property?  They might help me get a permit for a seawall?  I guess I better hide the fact that I believe in God or they will kick me out the door.

[Pet Cremation] You'd better do something quick. They start stinking within a few hours.

[will no longer bag at W/D] The only people you are hurting are the ones behind you in line. Oh, that's right, it is all about you. By chance are you a Yankee? 

[Pet Cremation] I love the picture of the Auschwitz oven. Do you think a State supported "Crematory and Bait Shop" would go over on Duval Street?  I bet I can get a grant for it.

[Seahorse Campground] I hope the Commission doesn't approve a land use change for it.

Inappropriate Photo The Editor is a Nazi.  You should be ashamed of yourself.  Why in the world would you put such a photo with a question about pet cremation?  You're obviously anti-Semitic.  Gods Chosen people are moving here in large numbers and will soon out-number the ugly bigots like you who are moving away in their trailers. Thank heavens.  Bad choice of picture, you moron.

[Seahorse Campground] It will only be affordable housing for about five years and then like all the others will become market rate housing or condos. Affordable housing only works if the Government owns the property. There are no exceptions.

Be careful what you wish for about new neighbors. A family from Miami bought near me and come down on weekends; all 15 of them, all trying to be louder then the next.

[W/D on a daily basis] Yes. I own a small business on BP. I get fresh baked bread and can pick my produce and milk for the day instead of having it sitting in a walk-in for a week.

Did we get a new Ed, or have you been "talked to" by someone to curtail input/output ? It seems like most "heavy stuff" doesn't get published any longer.

We need Tru-Value John!  It's time to get rid of Nugent. Tru-Value John will get something done for the people, just not for himself like Nugent.  The only time we hear from Nugent is when it's election time.  The rest of the time he's out taking care of himself and his political buddies.  If you can't get Tru-Value John to run; then try getting Rosie over at CoCo's.  She's one smart lady and John is one smart man.  Get on the Bandwagon, get rid of Nugent and get John or Rosie.  Big Pine will start to look nice again. They'll let those ugly unoccupied buildings on the highway be torn down and new well-landscaped buildings appear.

BP Grind by Dan Schwab

Shop wherever you like. If you enjoy shopping at WD they'll never have reason to improve. And if you have a (?)coprophagous appetite, that's fine too. Reward mediocrity, and punish excellence. Could be, you don't know the difference. To each their own. I don't care if I was starving to death, I still wouldn't patronize that dump out of self-respect. Forget about the price of fuel.

Saturday was funny, but Sunday, man, was I in stitches!  Congratulations Ed, you certainly have the best web site.  Next to the Citizens Voice, that is.

Want to gripe to these guys?: http://www.monroecounty-fl.gov/Pages/MonroeCoFL_BOCC/index  Save the Keys, give 'em hell!

[Ch-ch-ch-changes] Seahorse Campground Sold. Did you think it would always be Seahorse Campground (change)? I am writing on a computer (change)? I am old now (change). My son has moved to Iowa, he is 3rd Generation Keys (change). You have the right to bitch and moan. You also have the right to try and make these times as good as they can be. I will try very hard to keep my glass 1/2 full and stay as far away from folks that are angry and mean as I can; they make this life very hard; much more so than it need be. You are the sickness or the cure. Pick one.

I have a bet with a co-worker that before the summer is over, someone is going to crash into one of those massive metal spy poles and do some serious damage to themselves. Some of those poles are way to close to the road (great engineering and planning DOT). The lawyers are drooling over these potential lawsuits.  

The NY Times is a liberal rag. All they do is hammer on Bush. They are as biased to the left as Fox is to the right. And they even have some "great" reporters who have been caught making up stories.  I know you faithful readers won't ever quit reading the NYT basura, because as Paul Simon once sang," A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest."  And if you are a true NYT person, you are probably offended by the "man" reference.

Monday March 27, 2006

Sunday March 26, 2006

Another trailer park sold to developers. Some Big Pine units could be heading up to Key Largo. A group of developers has purchased the Seahorse RV Park on Big Pine Key and plans to build 100 multi-family homes in place of the existing mobile homes.  Above headline is from the Keynoter, now this deal is really special, first they kick the Conchs out of their affordable housing to make affordable housing that they know most cant afford. But wait, they will transfer 130 permits to Rowell Marina in Key Largo and build (?)2,000,000 homes on the bay.  The Gang of Three is sleeping well tonight. What a plan. The county could have bought this bay front land for the people and didn't. I wondered why, but not any more. 

Here is the Monroe County web link for the so called laws of our land. They should rename it,  catch22.gov. I dare you to fine definite answers to your questions on anything. How much do we pay these bums? Oh, I have to hire a lawyer to find out?! http://www.municode.com/resources/gateway.asp?sid=9&pid=11270

To the person who really hates W/D. Control yourself; no need to go off the deep end over a grocery store.

[Pet Cremation] Any help on this topic will be welcomed. Who, Where, Prices, etc.

[carpet tack strips to keep cats off car roof] That is a good way to get charged with animal cruelty. It doesn't matter why you committed the cruelty, unless your life is threatened. I know of a case where someone put rat traps on top of their Mercedes to stop the cats. They were convicted, no jail time but a large fine and 100 hours of community time.

To the person with the problem, you can borrow a cat trap, from your local shelter, there may be a refundable deposit required. You can trap any cats that come on your property. Take them into the shelter, in the trap, and the owner will have to pay a fine to retrieve them.

Is it legal for an owner to rent out the house to one party and then rent out the dock to two or three other parties.  What a mess with all the vehicles and not much parking space.

Saturday's posts were very funny to me!  Do we have a new Ed?  It seems the format is slightly different.

Who isn't worried about private property rights?  I know the liberals are.  They are very concerned about the Constitution and especially the Bill of Rights which clearly states that no person "be deprived of life, liberty, or  property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation."  That's Amendment V in case you want to read it for yourself. I bet the new chapter of the Key West ACLU is already hard at work looking for ways to undo the unjust treatment property owners have endured here in the Keys.

["City and county workers have the right to use vehicles for personal use] Says who? I pay your freaking salary dude, and that don't include giving you a free ride on my ticket. Your just a another blood sucker in office!

Winn Dixie might have self-check outs but I won't use them anymore.  They're a pain in the butt.  I would rather stand in line and let the cashiers help me.  That's their job, not mine.  I don't bag my own groceries anymore.  That's their job, not mine.  My job is to go in there and buy their food.  I figure I do my part, they can do theirs.  When they upgrade the quality of their produce and decide to stop selling rotten meat and lower their prices, then maybe I'll bag.  Until then, I'll let them do the work.  I deserve it.

Another local family just left Big Pine.  Usually I'm sad to see them go, but this group was awful. Drunk and loud most every evening. They never watched their dogs and cats. 

I may have to pay higher taxes and insurance, but I can see some good and the inevitable coming out of all of this because it will have to be a better, harder working group moving in to be able to afford to live here.  The rent on this particular house went from $1200 to $1900 going up to $2200. (If not signed up for long term)  The writing is on the wall. You work hard, earn and stay; or party and fish and go!  That's kind of like it is everywhere.

The Brady Bunch and more. ..:: Dove Calming Night - Nighttime Classics Featuring Felicity Huffman ::..  (Ed: Thanks for sending the web link instead of the file. These video and sound files are filling up my computer too fast because they are so big.)

I have been reading this web site for quite a few years now and all I have to say is that you people really bitch way to much. Why is it that no one is ever happy with what we have, all they do is complain about what we don't have. I for one love it here on Big Pine, I couldn't possibly think of a better place to live. we have great fishing, awesome sunsets, diving, snorkeling and all the fun stuff that those northerners don't have.

To all of you people who say it is too expensive to live here, maybe you should put the crack pipe down and stop your drinking. Myself and quite a few other people I know in this area live here very comfortably for about 25,000 dollars a year. I rent a nice house, on a canal, own a new truck, a boat, and still can afford to go out and have a good time now and then.

As for Big Pine and its future, who cares as long as it stays the peaceful place it has always been. we could use that new community park they have been promising us for years now. A little beautification on US 1 wouldn't hurt us either. Big Pine has always looked like a lil old country town, and it still can as long as we impose some rules to what types of new buildings or landscaping we allow on our little piece of US 1. we here on bi pine have a say in what goes on, but instead we choose to sit here on our fat asses and complain on this web site. Every so often the county hold workshops to find out what this community really wants and maybe 50 or so people show up, what about the countless other people who live on Big Pine and love to complain.

Basically all this to say that if everyone could stop complaining and fighting we just might get something done around here for once. I believe in this community and I believe that with a little effort from everyone, and I do mean everyone we could create a much more peaceful and inviting place to live.

Now that College Basketball's March Madness is winding down it is time for the 1st Annual Keys Treasures Fishing Madness contest. Fish are seeded in 4 brackets, Offshore, Reef, Inshore/Flats and Wild Card. Make your picks for bracket winners and overall champ. They vote for your favorites in the head to head games. Free to enter and there are a couple of prizes. For more information and to participate click here 1st Annual Keys Treasures Fishing Madness.

On really big issues like the Chain Store Ordinance and Area of Critical State Concern the voters should decide. We elect our leaders to take care of the day-to-day stuff only; not life changing issues.

On Real Time with Bill Maher Friday during a discussion on Iraq and the torture of Iraqi prisoners, Maher quoted a poll stating that only 26% of Catholics and Protestants said that torture is never ok. Yet over 45% of secular people (Agnostics and Atheists), said that torture was never ok. Things that make you go hmmm.

Yesterday's Citizen reported that the Seahorse Campground has been sold. The price was $7.85 million. If I recall, the place sold for $70 thousand in 1979, and it was a hell of a lot nicer than it is today. Another piece of Keys history coming down.

Mangrove Mamas Mile Marker 24 CD release party was the party of the year. Everyone who was somebody and everyone who wasn't were there. It was an event to remember and I am glad that I was there too. Kudos to Tom and Iris and all their employees for they did a remarkable job. The place was packed. Thanks for a wonderful time.

If you don't like W/D go somewhere else so I can get in to shop. It's the best we have, let's live with it.

I don't like Conchs thinking that they are special or entitled to anything just because they were born here. I've been living here before most of them were even born. I equate, I'm a Conch" with that old line, "That and a dime will get you a cup of coffee." Meaningless.

[Retail Formula Meeting] The meeting Friday night was good, both sides moved a little closer to the middle. If you don't know what meeting I am talking about shame on you. One person asked to see the FRO  to look it over and was told that the old FRO. was so poorly written and received,  that there was no need to bring it up for review. We must work on a new one or do away with the proposal altogether. Mr Feagin said to the Barometer that, "We heard clearly that no one in attendance at the first workshop was in favor of the ordinance as written, so we have taken that option off the table." I am sure that some folks would like no schools, no parks, no new anything and that's just fine, but that is not most folks. Most folks would like to see some well planned change and growth. So lets keep at it. I feel that there is enough hoops to jump thru all ready; and no new ones are needed. But that's just me and if you like to be heard come to the next meeting, take some time to make a difference.

[Retail Formula Ordinance] The second RFO meeting was a bigger circus than the first. Who  made a planning commissioner the mediator of these meetings? What are his qualifications to be a planning commissioner in the first place? Is it not a conflict of interest for him to be steering an ordinance that he will be voting on? Did we not spend thousands of tax dollars on the Communikeys meetings six year ago? We need a survey for Big Pine only, to see if this issue should be brought to a vote. Then may be the majority will be heard.

I lived in Asheville for years and have relatives there. I would never want to live there again. For me, it's too cold, too boring.  My parents and I went to the Biltmore Estate tour, which has a gift shop at the end. My dad went back to buy me a doll I had seen in the gift shop, and they charged him again for a tour! What a sleazy rip-off. I've never been back to take anyone for the tour, and that was 20 years ago. People remember for a long time when a business rips them off. The Biltmore Estate tour only shows a portion of the home on the tour. You never get to see the entire estate, but they won't tell you that till after you've paid and started the tour.

You can go to all the meetings you want and do all you can to keep the Keys like they are, but it won't do a bit of good as long as the developers have the Gang of Three in their pockets.

[Too much extra time] Winn Dixie on a daily basis? Get a life. Make a grocery list and shop once a week. Why would you shop everyday?

[Camera poles]  What could be so interesting to watch on the poles? It's bad enough I get to watch and interact with all the traffic on my way to and from work everyday.

Stop In The Name Of the Law!  Cops are the good guys.  Every single one of them down here are hot-hot-hot.  Oh my.  Let's bash Code and Army Corp but leave these guys alone.    

All you Winn Dixie haters go to Marathon. That will make W/D better for those of us who like to shop there. Maybe gas prices will go high enough that it would cost you $50 for the Marathon trip, then maybe you will smarten up.

[Asheville] I understand those in Carolinas call Yankees that move to Florida then to the Carolinas Halfbacks. They moved south then half way back.

W/D pays as well as any other big business down here. The ladies must have been newly arrived immigrants. They get food stamps forever no matter how much they make. Get it?

Buck Owens dead. He let go of the tiger's tail. RIP

[killing Muslim who converted to Christianity] Islam is a violent and barbaric set of beliefs.

[To the person who really hates Winn Dixie] You say you haven't shopped there in years, then how do you know that they have self-check outs?   And we all know that the W/D was here long before the Marathon Publix. I have gotten not so good produce at W/D, as I have at Publix. I have never gotten sour milk at either store.  Sorry that your refrigerator isn't working properly.  The W/D may not be perfect, but it is what we have.  I'll pick it over Publix any day.

R.I.P. Blackie.  May the butterflies always be near.

Sunday March 26, 2006

Saturday March 25, 2006

[Special treatment for Conchs] Who picks and chooses what’s on this website? I am a born and raised Conch (that’s been here my whole life) and I have put information about a great roofer and handyman on this site for the last two days and I have not yet seen it on the website. Is this website generally not for people helping people, but for those who are just off the deep end? (Ed: Dear Conch, please clear your browser's cache Browser Cleaning .  Your missive had been published when you sent it in the first time; as soon as we saw that you were a Conch)

[Camera poles] So let's just assume that the public lost and FL DOT won regarding the intrusive camera poles. May we, the citizens, see these images? Or   does one need a security clearance due to the "War on Terror" to watch our US1 Cams? (Ed: we printed the camera link last week, you'll have to search it. Archives.)

They sell the NY Times in boxes in front of the Coffee Shop and in front of the old Scotty's (CVS).

[Spy Poles] Here is Gus's quote from the Keynoter article: DOT District Operations Director Gus Pego said the project has already been scaled back because of local complaints, and that the remaining elements are necessary.

“We're trying to help citizens, to help visitors, by keeping traffic moving,” Pego said. “We're trying to look out for everybody.” Pego said he could not comment on the Feb. 15 resolution because he has not seen it. “Our goal is to meet the needs of the public,” Pego said. “We're talking about one pole every three or four miles. For a road of 125 miles, that's really not that much.”

My comment is: Gus you are a liar. Do you expect us to believe that not one assistant or secretary informed you about the Feb. 15 resolution? Secondly, if the project has been scaled back in The Keys, where are the new construction plans? Wouldn't that need approval? "Scaled Back" should be less money. How much have you saved us Gus by scaling back?

Send Gus a happygram: Gus Pego FDOT, Director of Construction (305) 470-5464   Gus.Pego@dot.state.fl.us 

These are the questions to answer on immigrants' naturalization test.  Pass this on to your friends and you can bet none of them will pass it!  http://uscis.gov/graphics/exec/natz/natztest.asp

I shop at W/D on a daily basis. There is usually someone taking care of the self-check outs and seldom do I have to wait for more than a minute or two. Self-check out is a convience. When I have 3 items at Publix and have to stand in line the time difference is a minute or two.

[Elderly Dog Beach] Yes, my Bubba, thanks so much I will check out those spots.  I am familiar with the Blimp Road spot but haven't been down there in awhile.  He had acupuncture today and seems in better spirits.  Thanks to all who have responded, I will explore all opportunities.  

They ration our water, raise our taxes, ticket our cars, double prices of supplies, tell us how to build, spy on us, why don't we locals just walk away from this place before they start shooting us to get the land for the rich and famous to build their castles on. I'm sick of the whole thing!

To the person who wants a New York Times, I live in the hated state of NJ and get the NYTimes everyday.  If you can’t find one in paradise and you tell me what day, I’ll send you a copy.

Anyone that’s looking for a handyman, roofer, landscaper, etc. I had a great gentlemen that was very efficient, affordable and when he said that he would show up he did. Give him a call at 872-1068 or 849-0839.

If you didn't get enough Mitch quotes in Friday's Funnies here's the mother lode. Mitch Hedberg Quotes

[Buffett ticket prices] I agree, online JB prices are very expensive. At the show, outside, deals can be had. After finding a great deal for a double at a Philly hotel last August, I made the trek up the eastern shore from Norfolk with a new Jimmy fan. The idea was to check-in, dump the car and subway/walk. We found a scalper for 2 tickets at $90. Our bar tab cost more than that. Were we in the front row? No, but we had great seats near great people! Just show up you'll get in.

Looks like Houston has a major crime problem. I'm glad those n'awlins refugees did not land down here! http://chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/3745006.html

Asked if he believed in clubs for women, WC Fields responded, "Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails." 

If you want to do something about the rate increases for windstorm insurance, download and snail mail the letters from FIRM (Fair Insurance Rates in Monroe) to your legislators here: http://www.fairinsuranceratesinmonroe.com. FIRM is a grass roots organization of local concerned citizens and homeowners whose purpose is to stop unfair and unaffordable property insurance premiums. Want to be really surprised - look at the comparison chart with other counties!

My wife suggested I start taking Viagra to help our love making. I suggested to her to ta