Wednesday January 4, 2007

To the unfortunate person who seems to think that nothing good has every happened under democratic rule, there are many who feel otherwise. Perhaps you have the tendency to think war is better than communication. Perhaps you are one of the many republicans that still have the mentality of a 7th and 8th grader who prefers bullying tactics to working things out by peaceful means. Unfortunately that mentality and that of fear has been ruling our country for the past 6 years, and rather badly many people have noticed. It’s hard to believe that some haven't noticed. That tells you how well the greedy, money hungry leaders who never did their time in the military have brainwashed and rallied with fear, the ignorant masses.

If you want to know how republicans think on this site watch FOX news at night and then read them in here the next day.  The Bush administrations failures and bumbling has turned them into parrots.  There’s a reason Americans kicked them out of office.  I saw a republican yesterday standing and staring at the grapes in Winn Dixie.  He was waiting for them to go sour so he could relate to them.

So our new County Mayor, Mr. Di Gennaro is rude.  Hey, he's from New Jersey!  Should this be news?

Sin, miracles and salvation. I do not for a heartbeat expect to change the perspective of someone who believes in the simple salvation formula Christendom generally teaches . . .Sloan's Space

I wonder how much Al Jazeera TV paid for Saddam’s hanging video.

Here is another idea on how to control the number of snowbirds (aka weather wimps) coming into the Keys: put a weigh station for passenger cars right after the 18 mile stretch. If the weight of the occupants exceeds the normal limits, then don't allow them in the Keys. An added advantage would be that the really obnoxious snowbirds will scream and bitch their necks off about being stopped--don't allow them in either. 

New Years Eve my husband and I wanted to go out to the Tiki so I suggested we take a taxi so we could be safe and not drink and drive. I called a few taxi companies and found out no one will come to Big Pine. I could not believe it. Here we were trying to do the right thing and could not. So we stayed home and had the most wonderful time.

With all the thefts on Big Pine Key lately, someone has to have seen something.  Come on folks, help your neighbors, here!  If you've seen anything please call the police and tell them.  We can't just let these people roam our streets and waters getting away with this.

Our economy is fantastic. The Dow is at the highest it’s ever been. Is this great economy driven by the war? Would we be seeing this great wealth without the war? I’ve read that the top group of the rich are making all the money and very little of this great wealth is trickling down to the average Joe who’s children are going to have to pay for the extraordinary national debt this war as created.

America: Freedom to Fascism. (1 ½ hour movie) http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4312730277175242198&q

Pools by Rogers is an illegal dumper. He dumped in my yard. Anyone that knows him please put his address on web. --jimyoung@bellsouth.net

[Join the Army] Our son has joined the Army.  He will be leaving for Boot Camp at the end of January.  If you have questions about the process, etc contact me at JeanR@KEYSBANK.COM Have a fantastic New Year!

[Iraqi Tradition] The Iraqi national security adviser has denied accusations that Saddam Hussein was humiliated in his final moments, contrary to what a leaked video of his execution showed. He insisted that there was nothing improper in executioners and officials dancing around Saddam's body after he had been killed, saying it was Iraqi tradition.

[Whiners who are bashing republicans and Pres. Bush] I can bet that they don't remember Morton Halperin, a former Clinton Admin official and liberal mastermind who organized a highly damaging campaign in the 70's to strip the FBI and the CIA of intelligence gathering capabilities. One does not send a handicapped person to a foot race and expect a world record! I'm sick to death of the liberal asses. General Wesley Clark, the "Perfumed Prince" campaigning for presidential nomination had the gall to call the war in Iraq "Non Patriotic" and called for impeachment probe of Pres. Bush. You Americans have a giant task ahead of you in 2008. You must weed out the cut and run bastards from among the presidential candidates. Good f**king luck. Conch Republic for Ever!

Thanks for your interest in the band Reach.  Yes, one of our members in undergoing surgery this weekend, please keep him in your prayers.  We are looking forward to getting out in public again soon. Thanks again for your interest.

“Only someone as self-focused as Sal Gutierrez would think money was a great equalizer. With folks like George Neugent and Sylvia Murphy in office, he may not get to make his second $10 million this year.” That was printed about Sal Gutierrez. It seems to me a guy that makes 10 million a year could get a cooler crib than Sal’s house which is pictured here.

[Etiquette Lesson For Snowbirds] You don’t get out much, do you?  I’m a local and you just described most of my friends and the locals I see out.

[Islamic Blues]  Ginnah Muhammad, who was suing a rental car company in Michigan, refused to remove her veil (which covered all but her eyes) on the witness stand, and consequently, the judge refused to accept her testimony and dismissed the lawsuit. He said judges must evaluate witnesses' credibility, which the veil prevented.

[Another hint for snowbirds]  You can eat lunch any time.  Some of us who live and work here have our lunch hour from noon to 1:00 p.m.  Stay out of the restaurants during that time.

[Another hint for snowbirds] Don’t drive 25mph on Key Deer Blvd. We know you’re trying to protect the deer, but stop driving below the speed limit to demonstrate your touchy-feeley side. Around here we drive five miles per hour above the speed limit.

[Etiquette lessons] I agree with you, but this goes for everyone not only snowbirds.  A lot of locals need some fine tuning too. (I love NY and NJ  accents.)

This statue currently stands outside the Iraqi palace, now home to the 4th Infantry division. It will eventually be shipped home and put in the memorial museum in Fort Hood, TX. The statue was created by an Iraqi artist named Kalat, who for years was forced by Saddam Hussein to make the many hundreds of bronze busts of Saddam that dotted Baghdad. Kalat was so grateful for the Americans liberation of his country; he melted 3 of the heads of the fallen Saddam and made the statue as a memorial to the American soldiers and their fallen warriors. Kalat worked on this memorial night and day for several months. To the left of the kneeling soldier is a small Iraqi girl giving the soldier comfort as he mourns the loss of his comrade in arms.

[Key Deer and Tourist] After seeing so many tourists feeding Key Deer I finally had to stop and say something. Yep! Out of state tag, fat kid in the front seat feeding the deer, fat wife in the back seat, of course taking pictures. Dumb ass hubby didn't get my suggestion about feeding the deer. As I pulled away, here comes the fat paw out of the window with more burger. What a waste of my time.

[New Rule] If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're gay. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.

[Alert, alert] The Big Pine Coffee Country Club announces that meetings with the owners of Pine Channel RV Park will, unbelievably, commence at the end of this month for final review of purchase contract proceedings. Consequences from acquisition of the park will be the demand of all trailers under the age of 2000, be removed immediately. Pending instantaneous acquisition, riddance of the trailers and belongings will be completed within 15 days. All contracts and agreements, whether written or verbal, will become null and void. Under Florida's 456.123.00 "Poseur" law this swift and facile action will be enjoined. Further promulgation to be announced.

Have a Happy New Year, keep up the good work.

I lost my best friend today, I will miss him terribly. He was my child in a canine’s body.  Tomorrow I will write a eulogy recapping the last 15 years & 7 months together.  I'm feeling kind of a numb.  He went quickly and peacefully thanks to Marathon Vet Hospital who came to our house.  I was not about to let my baby boo suffer, it was time.  Say hi to all of our friends up there Bubba Roo.  I love you more than anything.

Key Deer has the makings of a cool neighborhood bar if they would keep the low life's out.  Stop the outside crowd and the people drinking out of a brown bags.  Maybe set a rule that you have to have more than 3 teeth to enter.  Back when Key Deer first opened it was a good local pub with good food, good drinks, good staff and good patrons.  Let’s bring it back.  Big Pine needs a place for the locals to go and have a drink, watch a ball game and feel safe.

 When I want a cold beer I go to a bar if I want my drugs I will go to my doctor or CVS not Key Deer.  -- DickLarge1@aol.com

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Wednesday January 4, 2007

Wednesday January 3, 2007

A big happy new year from Capt Dan at the Key Deer Bar and Grill. Thank you all for helping me make the Key Deer a neat clean family place. We proved that New Year’s Eve. Thanks to my employees , my entertainers, my suppliers, my advertising folks, etc. They have all helped make my efforts to be create a good, clean establishment come true.

Now, I have leased the property to two fine young men, Clayton and Greg. They are experienced business men and have two great women to back them up. I have been hired to be the day and early evening manager (wow, a real job).  All my employees have been retained  and will continue as usual doing a great job. We will be staying open till 4 AM 7 days a week. Serving food and beverages. A few new employees have been hired to cover the late night shifts.

So stop by and say hi to the new folks, and a big thank you to all for being great friends and good customers . Time marches on.
--captdan38@aol.com

[Monroe County Administrator Mr. Willi] This is from the Florida Keys News / Florida Treasures Blog: “Tom Willi, Monroe County administrator, is under scrutiny because of contracts he has awarded. Willi, who came to the Florida Keys in late 2004 from Davie Florida, has given at least $400,000 in computer contracts to a single company since June and may not have followed county purchasing policies, Monroe Clerk of the Court Danny Kolhage said. Kolhage said he is conducting an audit to determine whether the contracts needed prior approval from the County Commission.

Kolhage asked the Monroe County attorney to review several contracts and invoices from Advanced Data Solutions of Tampa. Financial records show ADS had computer data and software contracts with Davie during Willi’s four years as administrator, and was paid nearly $70,000. The company has not done any work in Davie or received any contracts since Willi left.

The records show ADS received its first two payments about seven months after Willi was appointed on Dec. 20, 2000. The final payment was made on Dec. 10, 2004; about six weeks after Willi left Davie.

Kolhage said he made his decision to conduct an audit solely on contracts he has reviewed in Monroe. Besides his audit, he wants the county attorney to look at discrepancies between bills submitted by ADS and the actual wording of the contract. “We couldn’t figure out the relationship between the invoices we were getting and the work that was supposed to be done, and that’s why I asked the [Monroe] county attorney to take a look,'’ said Kolhage.”

The ongoing saga……

New Rule:  Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com!   There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years.  Because you don't particularly like them!  Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days
-- mowing my lawn.

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said on Tuesday Iran would not retreat from its right to nuclear technology and that a U.N. resolution imposing sanctions on Iran was ``invalid.''

``The Iranian nation is wise and will stick to its nuclear work and is ready to defend it completely,'' Ahmadinejad said.

Found: Taurus Wheel Cover. 12/31/06 Key Deer Blvd (near Road Prison).  Call 747-2869.

[To the person saying that the liberals are the ones that are trying to make life easy for the Muslim terrorist.] The Republicans’ great idea of turning Iraq into an Islamic law based country is appeasing the enemy at its worst. They hated Saddam so you gave them what they wanted. I love how you guys try and revise facts to fit your wants. And the Cole incident happened less then 3 months before Bush took office--what did he do? We all know Osama waited almost a year into Bush’s term before he attacked America. No wonder you guys were run out of office on a rail.

[Etiquette Lesson For Snowbirds]  Part One.  Please slow down and try not to be so pushy.  Our kids are out of school and playing in the streets where you are speeding.  Sometimes a dog or a cat escapes and is out on the street too.  Remove your baseball cap when entering a building.  Hang up and drive. Take your important cell phone call outside of the restaurant/store.  If you have that wretched New York accent, do everyone a favor and try not to speak; be seen and not heard--silence is golden. Do not chew with your mouth open.  If someone gives you a present, takes you to dinner or helps with a chore, a hand written Thank-You note is called for.  An e-mail is unacceptable.  Tip your servers 20% or stay home.  The deodorant, shampoo and razors are in the bath room for your use before going out in public--every day!  It's also advisable to keep your fingernails trimmed and clean.  To those of you who still smoke, ashtrays are located inside your vehicles and a shot of perfume / cologne would be nice for those of us who have to endure your stench.  Try to smile and wave since kindness is contagious.  Thank you and Happy New Year.

Today is the start of a brand new year with fun and prosperous for all! Don't forget, your Income Taxes are due 15 April 2007, so be prepared! --A friendly message from your local I.R.S. Office!

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts.  This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Allah tells Muslims to blow themselves up, just make sure other non-believers are around.

Aliens are still in the Avenues and seahorse--illegal aliens!

Happy New Year to all of the hard working W/D employees that help keep food in our homes. Thanks.

[really hoping for the Dunkin’ Donuts] Ah, you have outed yourself as a true Yankee. If you were from the South you would hoped for a Krispy Kreme doughnut shop.

Win $25 of ice cream. Dairy Queen - Win a Gift a Day Promotion

The Sheriff’s web site was down for two days.  You can’t link from here to there if it’s among the missing.  It happens with that site every so often.

Happy New Year to all! I just wanted to say thanks to my friends for "being there", and also wanted to thank the Tiki for a great night, a truly great band. (They don't let met out much. It was my first time actually going to see "Injade") and a gathering of some very special, wonderful

people. I haven't danced in front of a band in a while and it felt good! (It helps when the band can really play!) I had to be at work at O'dark thirty on New Years Day and I was exhausted, but the night's fun and good vibes were worth it. I love living in paradise!

Bright blessings to all.

It looks like John Hammerstrom is a new guest columnist with the Citizen.  I know John well and he has been a whiner in these parts for years.   John is basically the same as me but in a reverse mode, I’m usually on opposite sides of his rants. (Kind of a reverse whiner). John also qualifies as one of the biggest hypocrites south on the Last Chance Saloon.  Mr. Hammerstrom’s mantra is constantly preaching the woes of building in Hammock lots, yet Hammerstrom’s house is snuggled square in the middle of 23 acre pristine Hardwood hammock.  I advised him to be a man and disassemble his home and move it to a less environmentally sensitive lot and let the land revert back to its original Hammock like he wants everybody else to do, but he, being a hypocrite that he is, failed to take my advice. 

John is also one of those people that live here that have grown accustomed to claiming that empty lot next door to them or the one across the street and silently claps when the county and state slowly takes all the rights of their owners away from them. John also fails to understand that there will come a day when all those “I got Miners’” taxes will go up so much that effectively they will have purchased those lots for real big bucks.

I’m sure everybody down here has seen their taxes escalate substantially in the last two or three years and I believe these increases are just the tip of a very large iceberg.  Just wait till that lawsuit James Mattson and Andy Tobin just filed on the Tier system comes to and end.  Some estimate buying those parcels in Big Pine and No name alone will exceed 400 million dollars.  John, you will be so broke from paying taxes the only food and drink you will be able to afford will be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches followed by a six pack of Old Milwaukee beer. You will have to park your Toyota Prius and take the JTL (bus) to work.

And John if you don’t believe me maybe you can ask your buddy Sloan Bashinsky to see if God tells him something about the situation we are all in from one of his dreams.  I hear he’s batting 100 percent on them, but what I really think is Sloan might have found a bail of that good stuff.  --Govwatch05@netscape.com

[Alien Hieroglyphics] I agree with the person yesterday who speculated that space aliens have taken over the Avenues. It is looking a lot like Roswell, New Mexico back there. I was also concerned that aliens may be starting an infestation of Port Pine Heights, breeding with the locals and experimenting on Key deer. I will be looking forward to Vinny and Vito looking into this expanding occupation; and while they are at it, maybe they can open an Italian restaurant on Big Pine Key.

You’re not the only one that has a thief in the neighborhood.  We had $3500 worth of fishing gear stolen from our yard, as well, last night in Big Pine.  They took 10 brand new rods and reels, 6 TLDs on brand new rods with yellow line and some new spinner rods and reels.  So if anyone tries to sell these to you call Tow Boat US Big Pine. We also would like to have our stuff back. 

Here’s what to do if the Christmas truck drives by your house and you love it and want to help. He randomly drives everywhere. Have a plate of cookies and gas money ready. Also he does have 2 kids that he raises alone, have something for them. They are one boy and one girl over 7 and under 12. We all donate to places where we never see the kids, this time you can hand them a gift yourself. Imagine if your childhood memories were that your dad that raised you alone was the Christmas truck guy every year? Merry Christmas.

I read that they were to build a 30' bridge at the C-111 canal (MM116).  If they plan to plug the canal, why would we need a 30' bridge?

Hey, Perry, you were the one on that job and you were the one that was supposed to put the new pad down. We had to pay someone else to finish and do your job! See you in Monroe county court. -- carpetclassic@bellsouth.net

To the folks opening the xxx video store. Do you have the new Screech video?

Is James Brown still dead? They haven’t raised the flags back up yet.

Nope, I haven't hugged anyone from NJ. I can't get my arms around them.

Our boat was towing another boat last week.  Four boats passed us and only one boat slowed down.  One boat passed us on the bow at a good clip, made the boat we were towing break the cleat.  One of the boats that breezed on by was Law Enforcement.  Is this legal? 

[Ah, there's always Marylyn!] That happens to be Jane Mansfield!

Has anybody heard any more about the band name Reach? I heard that they were not going to be at the Key Deer because one of the band members was sick or something. Please let us know. I thought they were pretty good when they were at Boondocks. I hope to hear something.

How do I get one of those killer bumper stickers: 90% of all crime…?

I’ve got about twenty-five of these left.  If anyone wants one, please send a self-addressed stamped envelop (with 2 stamps on it) to C.O. Jones Jr. L.L.C, 125 Harbor Dr., Key Largo Florida, 33037.  You must live in the Florida Keys and promise to display it on your car.

Deer Hearts who cry that the Democrats have short memories. I lived in the good old US of A almost 50 years and nothing good happened under democratic administrations. The democrats of the later twentieth century are akin to communists. Gerald Ford, may he rest in peace, declared that he did not believe that the Soviet Union oppressed the countries of Eastern Europe. How and who informed this man? Under democrats the US always lost prestige and face. Jimmy Carter, Slick Willie Clinton in the recent past, and who would you have run in 2008? Hillary Billary Clinton? Great, and for #2 carpet munching Janet Reno.  I can just imagine that cabinet with Ms. Feinstein as Sec. of State. Or how about that 24 karat liar John Kerry his vice president would have to be Pinocchio. How about good old Chappaquiddick Teddy Kennedy? Good God what a line up! These people, if not reds, they are Pinkos. Please God, deliver America from Evil! If you would care to read into Lenin’s 1917 manifesto some of it has happened in the US under democratic administrations. That illustrious senator Howard Metzenbaum was a lawyer for the communist party--this is in FBI records. Going with the democrats is like a man sitting on a limb and sawing away, you wake up if the fall won't break your neck!

Sloan's book Heavy Wait has just been surpassed by Sonny McCoy's new documentary book.  It will be interesting to see where sonny whet wrong. --Govwatch05@netscape.com

[Ah, there's always Marylyn] Nice sentiment, but wrong picture. That is Jayne Mansfield taken at the 1957 academy awards. I hope that you haven't been lusting after Jayne all these years thinking it was Marylyn!

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Wednesday January 3, 2007

New Year's Eve 2006

Man, I can not believe the hate that is spouted from you Big Piner Whiners. How can you compare Jesse Jackson to Saddam Hussein? I'm no fan of Jackson, but what has he ever done to warrant lynching? Do you really have that much hate in your heart?  And I'd wager the person who wrote that ignorant comment is a good "God fearing Christian" too.   And the comment about the Grand Key Resort was not funny either. Another "God fearing Christian heard from. Lord, save me from your followers. What the hell is wrong with you people? All I ever read on here is bashing. Whether it's Jews, Blacks, people from New York or New Jersey, fat people, skinny people. Jesus Christ, you people need to get a grip. But then I guess bigotry is alive and well on Big Pine Key. As that wonderful Journalist Linda Elerbee used to say when she signed off on the old NBC news program Overnight, "And so it goes".

People are flabbergasted by the human voice. When was the last time you listened to a CD of popular instrumental music? There isn’t any! The only instrumental music that you want to listen to is classical and that’s no fun when you’re partying. The human voice makes it interesting. There is no other sound more beautiful and stirring.

The best thing about tourist season is that whenever you go out you meet cool new people you can deliver your own particular line of BS to.

Kudos to Skeeter’s Marine for their holiday light tree. It’s imaginative and very nice to look at. I think this is the first year they put on a Christmas display.

Tonight Capt Dan’s Key Deer: The Terry Cassidy Show with Ron Baumann
Open party at the Big Pine Property Owners Building. Bulletin Board
Injade at the Tiki injade.com

Start your year off with fabulous savings at Little Palm Island's gift shop clearance sale. The event will be held from 8:30 a.m .until 3:00 p.m. on Saturday, January 20th, in the resort's parking lot, mile marker 28.5 Oceanside on Little Torch Key rain, shine or snow. See you there!

This is for the people who resent the presence of dogs at places they feel is not appropriate for a dog. The dog just might be looking for his or her master. Be patient, be kind.

The Big Pine Key post office is one of the most efficient and polite post offices I have been in.  If you think that this post office is bad go to Marathon main post office and check out the attitudes.  Walk at a snails pace, no smiles or positive “hello” greetings. It takes hours, sometimes days, for them to walk to the back to find your package to be picked up.  They expanded the post office so you didn't have to stand in line to buy stamps.  There is never anyone at the counter to purchase just stamps.  (They say they are short staffed)  You used to be able to go in at 7 and check your PO box. If you had a yellow slip you could knock on the door and one of the early bird mail sorters would greet you and get your package for you.  Knowing that you where on the way to work and probably needed the important package for your job.  The Shores post office has two people working and can get more done in one hour then the main post office does.  The post master at the main post office never comes out of the office and checks on how things are going--Not their job. Be proud of our little post office.  Good job and thanks for being there during the holidays!

Saddam is longer, he stretched when the rope got tight.

The ATT that just merged with Bellsouth was not the old ATT that the government forced to break up.  That original ATT went out of business.  One of their regional spin-offs, Southwester Bell grew up, bought them out a couple of years ago lock, stock and barrel. At that time the original ATT legally ceased to exist. The regional took the ATT name (along the lines of NationsBank taking Bank of America’s name or First Union buying out Wachovia and likewise taking their name to replace their own). 

Also interesting, Cingular was half owned by Bellsouth and the original ATT.  The regional got that half share of Cingular when they did away with the original ATT.  The merger with Bellsouth puts both halves of Cingular together with only one owner. And there are still several large pieces of the regional spin-offs from the original ATT still in business, primarily out west – all the pieces have not been put back together.  Confused enough?  My head hurts and that’s not supposed to happen before Monday.

The Key Deer Bar and Grill will have music live New Year’s Eve with Steve Roberts from the Georgia Blue Hill mountains, singing down home country from 5 p.m. till 8p.m.  Then it's the Terry Cassidy Show from 8 p.m. till after midnight.  Terry will be playing banjo, guitar and foot bass singing country, blue grass, sea grass and folk songs and stories about the Keys. Ron Baumann will accompany Terry on his red hot harps. It's a family show with plenty of food available. I'm going, so see you at the Key Deer on Big Pine Key tonight.

Has anyone else noticed that the post offices on Summerland and Big Pine are getting rather unpleasant and downright dangerous to visit this time of year?  It is bad enough that many of our obese northern visitors all try to park in the fire lane or the handicapped area in order to save themselves a few steps, but inside the building they are like feral animals-making no eye contact with anyone (standard safety practice in northern cities) and bowling people over to get to their PO boxes. I think it would be a good idea to issue postal workers tranquilizer guns and cattle prods to keep these migrating herds under some semblance of control. And don't get me started on the insanity at the Winn Dixie...

I guess it is that time of year again. Folks on my block have started seeing strange lights in the sky, and my neighbor's fat wife again claims she was at the business end of an anal probe. She also claims they impregnated her and will steal the baby when the time comes. Since this woman looks like an uglier version of Rosie O'Donnell, I can only conclude that aliens are blind as bats.

Rumors and more rumors.  First we heard that Wendy’s was moving into the former Edie’s Hallmark shop.  Then it was Dunkin Donuts, now we hear it will be Radio Shack.  Where is the outrage about the horrible “chain stores” destroying our little slice of heaven.  Radio Shack is most certainly a “chain” yet we haven’t heard a peep out of the Citizens Against Virtually Everything crowd. 

Wendy’s.  Perish the thought.  All those nasty burgers and greasy fries clogging old arteries.  And Dunkin Donuts.  Horrors.  The cholesterol and calories.  Frightening.  Aah, but a Radio Shack where they have hearing aid batteries?  Yep, we can go with that!

Ignorance is rampant in these postings.  Talking about who should get child support and who shouldn't? The child born in wedlock is the only child that should be privy?  More than half of the Piners not only have illegitimate children (even if they marry afterward) and were probably illegitimate themselves, if the truth be known.  These kids aren't stealing anything nor should they be called slugs, they are helpless children.

Why is everyone from New York or New Jersey bad? Isn’t everyone from somewhere else? Let's get along everybody; there's enough fighting in the world!

The Doubletree is a nice hotel. It’s a shame what happened. I don’t think the Nazi comment was nice either; their families wouldn’t either!

Kyle Blvd. What's with all the commercial equipment parked on the right of way? Let's keep our street looking good.

[Least Competent Criminals] The man who stole the safe from a Runza restaurant in Omaha, Neb, in October was forced to abandon it in the middle of a street when he realized his getaway plan (dragging it through town from the back of his car) attracted attention that he had somehow not anticipated. (He fled empty-handed.)

Barney Cam 2006 (WM) and a Happy New Year!!

The tragedy at the Doubletree Resort is made even worse for the lowly employees who’ve waited all year for the tourist season so they can get tips and get out of debt. Now they are all unemployed until the spring when the hotel is supposed to reopen. (I know I won’t be staying on the fourth floor).

I kept seeing Marlo and the girls get their stuff from some guy with a pit-bull tattoo on his arm.  Is she still working at Boondocks?  They must have a strong liqueur license she has been selling for years without getting fired.  I won't be bringing my daughters in their anymore as things couldn't be anymore obvious.  I heard that the guy she is with is on the run.  Does anyone know his name?  When will the pretty girls around here shape up and know there are good guys like me out there.  Does anyone know this losers name?  --Suziekwfl@aol.com

[Displaying the American Flag]  No matter who is in power I will always fly my flag proudly. I doubt very much, that you are a former naval officer and if you are shame on you for your comments.

The person that stated that "George Bush has sucked Al Qaeda into the war" in Iraq has to be a republican. Who else could be so stupid that they didn’t know it was Al Qaeda that attacked America first on 9/11 with the Taliban. Who got pulled into it? Bush republicans are so far out of touch with reality that they are forced to revisit history and bringing up Clinton to try and gain credibility. No wonder Americans joined together and fired the Republican  whackos. 

As for the silly belief some folks have that if we leave they will follow us back here. I hope you’ve noticed the Vietnamese and Communists didn’t follow us back like you said they would at that time; now, did they?

[A lot more bleach in the gene pool] Thirsty man sells beagle to buy beer. (Dec 29, Berlin) A thirsty German sold his 6-year-old step-daughter's pet beagle to the owner of a bar to pay for beer. The unemployed man offered to take the dog for a walk and then stopped at a bar where he convinced the owner to buy the 3-year-old dog for 40 euros ($53).

A few days ago, I started receiving Salvador Gutierrez Jr.'s political stingers .  . . Sloan's Space

[Dems one politico dying or retiring from losing the senate]  Never fear.  One republican corruption or pedophile charge and we'd have it right back again.

So if President Ford was the accidental President does that make Monroe County Mayor DiGenarro the accidental County Commissioner?

[Two long lost friends start the New Year right] I’m sorry I missed your earlier responses. I hereby apologize for my "karma" crack.  I now strongly suspect that one of your fully automatic Minoltas was given to you by a mutual friend of ours. If it came without a case that would be proof enough for me, but it is no longer important, if it ever was.

Are you in touch with old "crack of noon" Womak himself?  I miss the old Big Pine (not to mention my youth), it is good to hear almost forgotten names. Best wishes back at you.

[Response] I hereby accept your apology, your name sounds familiar. For the life of me I can't put a face to it. As a matter of fact, the last SLR I had didn't have a case and I traded it for some blow. It was on my desk the last time I saw it, then the Marshalls took me away. You must have been away from Big Pine for awhile. No I'm not in touch with Womak.  He escaped to Tenn. thought that I will rat on him. Joe Britz brought me up to speed on what's happening on the Pine. The Toad, Rockett, Capt Eddie, Rob French, Fat Jack are all dead. Booze and Drugs did them all. From what I'm told old Buzzy is not far behind. A mess of people are in prison, some are on the run. Signal me back if you feel like it, be glad to hear from you! Have a very Happy and Safe New Year.

In reference to the poorly written iguana signs on the DOT signs. Top 10 ways to legally annihilate iguanas: 1. Potato gun 2. Dart gun 3. Pellet gun 4. Spear gun 5. Tie them to a tree and throw rocks at them 6. Hang them 7. Stick them in a freezer 8. Catch them in a cage and throw the cage in the water 9. Douse them in hair spray then set them on fire 10. Get a Cow Palace chick to sit on an iguana and smother it to death.

Viva la Marathon/Blue Hole alligator kids.

To the poster from New Jersey,  Gesundheit!

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Sunday December 31, 2006

Saturday December 30, 2006

I was one of the people who wrote saying the Chart Room smelled of rancid peanuts. I’ll further ad that it’s dirty and disgusting and filled with losers who sit around talking about the old days for the pleasure of the tourist staying at the hotel. You assume that because I criticize an institution that I’m not a local. I am a local of more than thirty years and was a regular at the Chart Room in the days of Dr Bill drinking and Jerry Pannessi tending bar. I drank there until they stopped cleaning it some years ago. This isn’t the flag we’re talking about here; it’s a smelly, dirty loser bar for the amusement of people stuck in the past.

Now I’m really curious. How did Mark Picklap die? I want o know. He was a member of our community and maybe we all can learn from his passing.

[Getting last paycheck] Take them to small claims court in Key West. You’d be surprised how easy it is. It’s cheap and you usually win. Quit complaining and do something about it now that you know how.

I get a kick out of the submissions that alternately accuse George Neugent of being an environmentalist pawn and then a developer’s pawn. Maybe George is no ones pawn and calls them like he sees them, and it averages out to be the right thing for the community.

Stay at the Auschwitz Doubletree Grand Hotel--it’s a gas.

[I wonder what they’ll name the style of popular music from the 90s and 20s]  Most likely “Garbage”

I know where that old fridge came from that was dumped on Key Deer Blvd. and it has nothing to do with Wilma. 

I saw this on a bumper sticker: W.W.S.D? What Would Scooby Doo?

[Illegal housing behind flea market] No sewer just dumping on ground. Palomino Road is starting to stink. Crime is on the rise. No wonder it’s because there’s no code enforcement. Look behind Habitat for Humanity trailers’ jacks are very unsafe. They are a junk yard. True Art Bakery signs on DOT US1 and along Quail Roost Trail.  There is an illegal trailer being lived in along side the True Art Bakery.  Where is the code enforcement?  Big Pine is becoming a dump and crime is on the rise.

[AT&T closes BellSouth deal after FCC OK] It took AT & T twenty years after their forced breakup to buy back all the pieces so they’re now just where they were positioned before the breakup. No one benefited.

[Don't they celebrate Hanukkah in Jersey]  Sure they do.  And they also celebrate Obnoxouskah, Nastykah, Rudekah, Offensivekah, Beligerantkah and Cheapkah.  They don’t discriminate.

The Dunkin Donut project has been canceled, here's what you are getting instead.

If prostitution was legal we wouldn’t have to pay these exorbitant prices. For about the same price, I usually fly to another country and make a weekend out of it.

They are set to hang Saddam Hussein tonight.  Can we get two for the price of one and lynch Jessie Jackson at the same time?  At least Saddam had a job.

[Just because your head fits so easily up your butt doesn't mean it would work for everyone]  Oh, my!  That's one of the best comeback rips I've read in a long time!  I realize it was a personal jab in a verbal jousting match, but I'm going to have to file that one for future reference.  I can think of a few zillion appropriate instances for use, unfortunately most of them are in the past.

[Radio Shack on BPK] Why? What will they sell besides batteries and iPod accessories?

[Artificially high real estate prices of waterfront property] Hello! The prices aren't artificial if people are paying them.

Enjoying the snow in Colorado.

For great music this new year’s check out Rocking Jake from New Orleans at the Green Parrot.

I have also used the services of a Czech Escort- what a great deal. Chef on South Park summed my experience up nicely in this little song (sung to the tune of "Your Smiling Face" by James Taylor):

The Prostitute Song
"A prostitute is someone who will love you/No matter who you are or what you look like /But that's not why you pay the prostitute. No, you don't pay her to stay/You pay her to leave afterwards/That's why I praise the Lord for prostitutes! A prostitute is like any other woman/They all trade something for sex, and they do it well..."

You freakish liberals; do realize you’re one politico dying or retiring from losing the senate? Iraq is the battleground Bush chose to suck Al Qaeda in to fight. I really prefer the battles to be there than on American streets. You just do not get it even after all the shit that was blown up during Clinton’s appeasement presidency?

Check out Injade's website where you can hear some of the music from their upcoming CD. http://www.injade.com/music.html

[wish they’d make a detachable monitor for my laptop] You might want to just get a wireless keyboard and mouse (I recommend the Microsoft Elite for $90) and then you can just close down the lid and use the big monitor.  What is even better is to use both monitors at the same time.  You will probably find if you plug in the second monitor and go to Display->Properties->Settings you can click on the second monitor icon and then check the "Extend my Windows desktop to this monitor" button.  You get twice the desktop real estate for your money!  If you do presentations with a projector it's even nicer because you can put the presentation on monitor #2 and all of your embarrassing desktop icons aren't projected on the screen for everyone in the room to see.

Mark (Picklap), we will miss you this summer at Picnic Island and promise to raise a toast in your name. 

I think Rob's was ratted for giving two for one Yuenglings during happy hour and then forgetting to pick up the tokens, thus creating three for ones.

Every living thing dies, period! I have friends and family that have and are dying of cancer or some other disease or malady they’re not responsible for. Please don't ask anyone to not ask why the junkie or alkie died. Just say it was pneumonia.

Goggles :: The Google Maps flight sim

Sadam Hussein is on the way to Heavenly Paradise and he thinks that he will be awaited by 75 virgins. Boy, will he be surprised, 75 Virginians are waiting for him (George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and their likes). If he thought that hanging was bad, it can't even be compared to what he will get from those guys. Good thought!

Now for those of you who knock the US for being in Iraq and say it's all about oil. You all should know that the US Government is not in the oil business. It is in the business that oil flows freely. Your sons and daughters are not in Iraq to rob oil for the US. They are there so that you back home can go and fill up your RV's, vans, and convertibles with the least expensive gas in the free world. Here in Hungary I pay $1.25 for a Liter of gasoline; it takes a little more than four liters to make a Gallon. Deer hearts, that’s over $5.00 a Gallon. So you Whiners, you are doing a dis-service to your country and those in uniform when you make those gray statements.

Here, some people ask me, "Who elected the US to be the policemen of the world?" I say no one, the US picked up the baton when no one wanted to. Who else would take a stand against the Kaddafi’s, Hussein's or that North Korean ass hole? The pansy French?  The yellow Spanish or your Britt cousins? Not a chance. Teddy R. said "Walk softly, but carry a big stick!" and no one messed with the US.

After the midnight parties sleep well Deer Hearts, the US has the big stick, thank God! If you read this, thank your teacher. If you read it in English, thank a Veteran.

Illegitimate children were not the intended recipient of child support and benefits which were earmarked for the child born in wedlock. To steal such a windfall for slugs is a crying shame.

[to the Jewish person that doesn’t like Christmas lights] She should go back to were she came from. New York or New Jersey and mind her own business. If I was selling houses I would not do business with her at all.

This former naval officer and Vietnam veteran hasn't displayed the flag for seven years now for fear that someone might think that I'm a Bushie.   Although I admit this would not be as embarrassing as having a W '04 sticker in my car window.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Saturday December 30, 2006

Friday December 29, 2006

[From time to time Tom Willi the Monroe County Administrator will be responding to some of the concerns that our readers have. Let's begin.]  Let me be the first to say that I believe Mr. Willi to be one of the most corrupt people in Monroe County government.  He came to Monroe County trailing with him a whiff of financial scandal from Davie.  His first arrogant act to come to light was to try to obtain overtime pay for time spent at the county EOC during a storm.  He knew full well that overtime pay was not included in his already overpaid, sweetheart deal contract, yet he belligerently demanded the money.  Only the astute County Clerk and citizen outrage stopped his money grubbing try.  He did not collect. 

He has continued to make back room wheeling and dealing decisions with the taxpayer’s money including approving the purchase of the Hickory House property and approving the misuse of County monies for the Vandenberg nonsense.  Most recently he misrepresented figures to the Governor in relation to the evacuation time for storm emergency.  Of course, like all slippery politicians, he has a denial and a slimy explanation for his blatant lies.  It is interesting to note that he will be commenting on various issues on this site.  I give him about as much credibility as Sloan’s Space and I’m sure that we will be treated to even more spin and political rhetoric from an individual who has already shown himself to be less than trustworthy.  --chartrac@bellsouth.net

I have been reading the postings about the real estate building and the lights for Christmas and nothing for Chanukah and the people harassing the person who wants all holidays recognized.  Shame on all three parties.  Shame on any place of business relying on the public to honor one religious holiday and not the other.  Shame on the person writing in chastising them for displaying their religious preferences and the biggest shame on the people chastising the person who wants to see their religious preferences observed.  This is the Keys.  One human family.  Let everyone have their freedom of religion in what ever way they want to have it.

Yesterday’s writer called us cowards for not staying the course in Iraq to fight terrorism. I’m insulted and would like to know how will staying in Iraq fight terrorism or protect America? I don’t think a lot of Americans understand that this war is not about terror. It’s about oil and misguided Presidential policy.

Kudos to the Rotary Club for all the fine decorations along our roads.

The hand of the County moves in mysterious ways. Think how long it took them to finish the parking at the ball field and then try to imagine them fixing a five mile long Key Deer Blvd.

If I had a restaurant in Key West I’d call it Jimmy Buffet and serve a great buffet.

I wish they’d make a detachable monitor for my laptop so when I connect to a larger monitor the smaller one wouldn’t be in the way.

Let's see, now.  Using some figures from the Citizen 6000 homes could be hooked up to the sewer system for the money the government is going to blow on that nearly useless bridge.

[Christmas truck] Hey Mike, How about a trip through Eden Pines one more time before you put your lights away!

Great news! I just saved a bunch on my car insurance. I just kept driving; besides I'm pretty sure the other guy was in the wrong. He was jaywalking.

[Who’s playing New Year’s Eve?] The fun starts at 8:00 PM (Sunday, December 31) with the Mile Marker 24 Big Band and it is all going to happen at the Sugarloaf KOA resort at mile marker 20. The evening is free and open to the public. Also, food will be available and the champagne is free! We are going to have a limbo contest, door prizes and tons of fun! And as always we will crank up the old Johnson outboard motor margarita maker and make a batch just for you. What could be better, free champagne and free margaritas? We hope you can join us!

Howard Livingston of Mile Marker 24 will be live on US1 Radio this  morning (Friday December 29) at 10:00 AM. You can listen worldwide at www.us1radio.com

Why is the person that wrote about 9/11 saying we will be in trouble if we pull out of Iraq?  Iraq wasn’t responsible for 9/11.  It was done by the Taliban in Afghanistan and they have been destroyed, removed from power and are on the run. 

Iraq was the largest military blunder in American history.  Republicans would attack Ireland if we were attacked by the Chinese.  America has had enough with the foolishness and spoke out in the last election.  Sanity is returning to America and its going to take a decade to fix the republican administration’s damage to the home of the free.  But we will pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and become the voice of reason again in the world now that the Buffoons have been fired.

Dixie and Mario updates. Who among us, who lived elsewhere and then came to call the Keys home, doesn't have an interesting background?...Sloan's Space

Why do you get the handicapped VIP front-door parking when you are not even handicapped? Many people with these cards take long walks, do extensive gardening, go to exercise class, can leap tall buildings, lift heavy things and spend hours upon hours in the kitchen cooking and eating.  They are not handicapped - they're fakers.  Since many of you are so healthy, why not let the real handicapped people / elderly park in the front?  My friend is blind and the seeing eye dog does not wear any kind of bogus "Vest" either at work or around town. 

Eden Pines Home Owners Association now has a website. All the best to our neighbors in 2007! http://www.edenpinesowners.com/1.html

I had one of those Key Lime Pies on a stick also and have to agree that it was one of the best desserts I’ve ever eaten. It was a bit pricy, but worth it. I especially liked the thick chocolate covering.

I have a lot to say. No1. Kudos to Mike and his Christmas truck with the American flag.  I’m proud you and your family are in this community. No 2. Caldwell Banker  Christmas display is beautiful and tastefully done, however Century 21’s display  is an eyesore.  Why not keep the tradition that the McSorley family had? There Christmas display was a welcome sight coming into Big Pine at night; you knew the Holidays had begun. No 3. Now Showing Video made the same mistake  with there Christmas décor;  Pete and Toni always had such a beautiful Christmas window. What happened this year? No 4.  To the Jewish person in Cudjoe: perhaps you should talk to some of the Jewish business owners as to why they are not displaying the Chanukah candles. Happy New Year to all.

[illegal housing behind the flea market on Palomino] If they start calling them "settlements" the people there can probably stay. Hey, it works in Israel. 

Moose must be at the Tiki tonight, all the single girls have "diversion dates".

Jim Fisher was one of the good guys.  Like the Fishers, we moved from Eden Pines to a little farther north.  We're unable to attend the memorial, so would someone please give our regards to Ann?  Thanks.  Pati and Carl Day

I want to wish a happy and prosperous new year to everyone! The most wonderful thing happened today. I got a package from my daughter Tami, it was my Christmas present that didn't arrive in time. Better late than never, I say.

There was all the things in the package that I can't get here in Hungary. Peanut butter, Corned beef hash, corn bread mix, KC Masterpiece barbeque sauce and many other unobtainable items. It was a big box and to fill it so that the other stuff didn't slide around, there were these hermetically sealed plastic bags to take up the empty space. To me these were the most precious gifts of all, and you can't buy it here for love or money: American Free Air inside those bags, and I will keep them forever. May the Good Lord Bless and keep you and yours safe in the New Year!

Just because your head fits so easily up your butt doesn't mean it would work for everyone. I must have missed your attempt to respond to my insinuation (not accusation) in the whiner's forum and I have certainly received no e-mails from you. I remember more good things than bad in our relationship and prefer to keep it that way.  I am very impressed with your writing, keep it up.
--c4nick8@yahoo.com

All you redneck ex-military always get your shorts in a bunch whenever anyone mentions the flag. I re-read the posting in question and saw it as a suggestion based on advertising practices (Which I disagree with as I like the flag on the truck.) My point is that merely talking about the flag always gets you old farts in a tizzy. I used to wear the flag as a cape with my Superfreak outfit in the 70s. (Boy, did that get the rednecks going?) I’m no less patriotic than anyone else. And yes, I served in the Army.

I say we vote on the next snowbird/tourist state to bash after the recent New Jersey bashings (P.S. don’t leave Canada out).

If you overheard at the hardware store that the Big Pine Publix deal is still on, it must be true.

Parrotdise should offer a Little Pecker size wine. Not everyone is a big connoisseur.

Dear Ed, we do need entertainment info on the local music scene. All we need is info on Key Deer, Coconuts, Tiki hut, Boondocks and Parrotdise.

Does anyone know how to go about getting your last paycheck from a company that you no longer work for?  Harbour Point Marine will not pay me my last check.  They are not answering when I call, or when any of the customers, whose boats I have worked on because they are calling me.  Has anyone else had any problems with them? -- kimchris3@aol.com

I left a post in the situation wanted section I am attempting to open a full service auto repair center in Big Pine. Does anyone know of any bays for lease there? We are a family owned company with state of the art equipment and 20 plus years knowledge to use it. I have been speaking with someone there and it seems there is a need for an honest repair shop as well as a place that can keep you from having to go to Miami for service. We had a shop in West Palm and lost it due to Wilma damage. We are moving to Ramrod next week and would love to find a shop as well. Thanks and have a happy new year. allen_s2@msn.com 561-633-3850 Allen Swift

Artificially high real estate prices of waterfront property (any property in Florida within one mile of ocean) will ensure the Keys will never be like they used to be.

[crime is on the rise in the lower Keys] 20 years ago we took care of "problems" without the cops!

[Flag on Christmas truck] Amen brother. I think it's a damn shame that anyone in this country has to justify flying an American flag. I have one flying in front of my house, and one on my truck; in honor of those young men and women (including my son) who have chosen to serve their country. 

You folks live in a near paradise and find time to harp about a BPK Christmas landmark? Mike, I'll gladly buy you a couple more flags for the orange truck, just fly them. After 33 years in the Army I think that I have the right to do that. Mike, thanks for helping me get my motorcycle tied down on that rack, it made it home safely. One more summer of the Miracle Gro diet and it will become a real Harley.

What was Rob’s Grill ratted out about?

I have used the services of a Czech Escort. Damn was she good looking, really great in bed, friendly and very, very expensive. But worth it you’ve got the bucks to spare.

Mark Picklap passed away last Wednesday night. Enough said. People close to this young man know how it happened. Markie-mark, will be missed by many folks, but friendship is ever-lasting, even for the "old dude" he worked with for so many years. Don't be worried why or how he died, just remember how great a person he was and will always be, thanks for the friendship.

I’d much rather have a Dunkin Donuts than a Radio Shack.

I am a 50 yr old parent of a 23 year old son.  I have an idea to open my time and space, if need be, in my home to dedicate to the younger population of Big Pine.  Let's not let one more potential former leader of this community pass us by.  Would any of you younger people be interested in letting your friend's passing help you to understand that he could be you and just maybe now is the time to unite and help one another prevent the sadness you felt today at the Dean Lopez funeral home?  Respond and I will give you my e-mail.  Let's honor your friend by improving your lives one by one, any way we can.  Peace and love brothers and sisters.

[“The Chart Room (Pier House) is a dump]  The Chart Room has been a local Key West hangout for years.  The “locals” like it like it is.  We “locals” don’t try to change your neighborhood Jersey tavern with the women with hairy legs and arm pits with garlic breath.  If you don’t care for the aroma of stale peanuts and spilled beer stay at home and enjoy your orange Kool-aid. 

Oh, yea, Dunkin Donuts is coming to Big Pine! Anybody want to bet on that one?

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Friday December 29, 2006

Thursday December 28, 2006

I would like to thank People like John Hammerstrom, Kay Thatcher, Barry Paterson and Ron Miller who have been at the forefront and campaigned tirelessly to elect folks like Sylvia Murphy and George Neugent.

They have made sure that the developers don’t destroy these Keys. Further they keep the commissioners in check, just ask our selected and not elected Mayor and his yes woman, Dixie S.

The newspapers are starting to report on there antics from rudeness to incompetence.

Have you noticed that crime is on the rise in the lower Keys? How about the cops looking in the mangroves and in the illegal housing way behind the flea market on Palomino; and chase these people out? Maybe it will return to the way it was 20 years ago.

I loved your Christmas page. I'm in central Florida for the holidays and it's pretty chilly. Plus we have tornados. Be back soon.

The Doubletree Resort in KW had a person die and others sent to the hospital from carbon monoxide gas, they think.

Gerald Ford was our best president ever.

The Chart Room (Pier House) is a dump. Maybe if you locals fixed it they might make money.

Let's add the blue Nissan pick up truck to the 50 mph club on Key Deer Blvd.

I thought it was really great that flags are being flown at half-mast in order to honor James Brown.

Trailers at the flea market got broken into and a lot of stuff stolen. ‘Tis the season for burglaries. Lock your doors and be extra watchful until the season is over. More thieves seem to come here when the weather turns lousy up north.

Somebody told me there were a lot of Czech hookers in Key West. I have been considering looking into this in order to secure a date for New Year's Eve.  Has anyone seen any of these women? If so, then please describe what they look like. I keep picturing a bunch of fat old ladies in dumpy dresses with do-rags (or whatever they call them) working in a potato field. My neighbor's wife looks like that and I don't need to see anymore of that nonsense.

How did a young man of 25, Mark Picklap die?

Real estate agency Xmas lights/ no Chanukah decorations: You won't do business with them over Xmas decorations? Get real!

Regarding real estate office Christmas lights: Most of us believe in Christmas, you know, the day Christ was born! I love the lights and the more the merrier. Bah, humbug to you in Cudjoe.

Classic Carpet got caught trying to put it to Marriott (Key West). It seems they forgot (yea, right) to put down new padding as was part of the contract. So, Keith how much did that coast you? A lot more then the $200 you owe me. (It seems Keith likes to write bad checks and not make good on them). See you in court in Brevard County, little man.   --dfowler21@cfl.rr.com

But the dull version gets better mileage.

The old appliance dumped on Key Deer Blvd had to be from a winter home owner who is too damn cheap to come down after Wilma to clean up his mess.

I live in my own world, but that's OK, they like me there.

[It’s better to advertise one holiday or event at a time for more impact] First of all I’d like to say that the last time I checked this is the United Sates of America and a flag is always a welcome site for any holiday and lets our troops know that we are thinking about them during Christmas. A couple of people took pictures of the truck in Key West to send to their son in Iraq.

Second, not that it’s any of your concern, but the flag on the back of my truck was given to me by a couple of army guys at Home Depot in Marathon. As me and my son walked by them in the parking lot my son asked, "Are we going to put a flag on the truck, dad?" They overheard my son and walked over to him and asked if he wanted the flag for the truck and he said, "Yep, sure do." Anyone who knows Mikey Jr will understand that one; so we put it on the truck and after talking to the guys I found out that they are shipping out to Iraq in Feb. and are down visiting their grandmother on Grassy Key and went to Home Depot to buy her a flag to fly at her home.

I will fly a flag at Christmas, Thanksgiving, Sept 11, Flag Day and any other holiday just because I’m an American and damn proud of it.

Someone dumped a washing machine and other stuff on one of the dirt roads off Watson. All they had to do was call Waste Management and they would have come pick it up at their home for no charge. What jerks there are living among us.

Yea, that’s a good idea to close down the post office. You want to be around a million possibly postal unemployed postal workers?

Don't they celebrate Hanukkah in Jersey?

Does anyone else remember the President's address to the nation on the evening of September 11, 2001? We were all in shock over the terrorist bombings that day, and Mr. Bush promised to pursue the terrorists and those who gave them aid. He cautioned us that some Americans would not want to support the war effort for the long term. At the time I remember thinking, we just suffered the Pearl Harbor of the 21st Century how could anyone forget what happened and not stay the course? Now I see how wrong I was. It is going to take a couple more Pearl Harbors or 9/11s for a majority of us to realize what has happened, what is still happening, and how long it might take to overcome this new form of evil. In the meantime, we will pull out of Iraq, and maybe even the entire Middle East. We will get a brief reprieve while the terrorists regroup and take advantage of our cowardliness. Then they will hit us again, much harder than before.

[Hungarian with Mohawk] This is to the person who accused me of stealing a camera from them. I have given you an opportunity to explain yourself in this forum and I gave you my E-mail. You responded to neither, now please go and stick your head up your butt! --imba@vnet.hu

On Christmas day, someone with many troubles, including being molested in her youth, who had not been very pleased to hear much of anything I said about anything, said Jesus healed the lame and blind, and if Jesus wanted to heal her, then he would do it...Sloan's Space

Why would the fat lady make lasagna for her fat kid and then drive it way up to the mainland to deliver it?  Poor obese child was on a diet and here comes big momma to sabotage the effort. This is probably helping them, since they ain't getting any.

I heard at the local hardware store that the original deal for Publix is still on; if only the County planners will get out of the way and let willing sellers and buyers complete the deal and build it.

Environmental gangs? What the hell is going on? I understand we are getting a RadioShack. What’s next a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I won’t sleep a wink knowing the chains are coming, the chains are coming.

I realize that the owners of Parrotdise are just trying to make money and make a great new product with the "Big Pecker" wine (I do love that name).  But to eliminate the regular white and red (the old Chardonnay was wonderful) and only offer the new wine is crazy.  Really guys, it doesn't taste that good.  Be proud of your new wine, you should be, but don't force it on people.

It seems that at least once a week people are putting down people from New Jersey.  I have only been to New Jersey once and didn't find it bad.  I would rather live next to a product of New Jersey over a product of Harlem.

So you don't like the Christmas lights? Too damn bad. You are a minority here. Why should the majority of people here kiss your butt?  You're offended? I could care less. You may believe you are special, but I don't.  I hope they leave their lights up for months just to pee you off.

Oldies are from the 50s and 60s and Classic Rock is from the 70s and 80s. I wonder what they’ll name the style of popular music from the 90s and 20s?

Please send in your New Year's resolutions and wishes.
They will be published on New Year's Day in a special edition of Kudos and Whiners. New Year's Wish or Resolution
The deadline for publishing is 6am

Thursday December 28, 2006

Wednesday December 27, 2006

[Citizen of the Year] I wish Monroe County had a "citizen of the year" award and that they would give it to 14 year old Big Pine resident JJ Bright.  He raised $14,000 (including his own money) and bought 320 bicycles, which were distributed last week to needy kids throughout Monroe County.  He is truly an inspiration to us all -- both for the adults who despair over today's "younger generation" and for kids of all ages as a role model.  He shows us that one person can make a difference.

Kudos to his parents, too; they are obviously doing a great job. 

I do not know the young man, but as well as making a better Christmas for all those children, the account of his generosity gave me a better Christmas, too.  Amid the news of war, tornados and mall shootings, he gave me hope.

I received a frozen Key Lime Pie Bar from the new KW Key Lime Pie Co (next to the Pawn shop on Big Pine). I must say that it was one of the creamiest treats I’ve ever had. It was a slice of pie covered in thick chocolate. I can’t tell you how good it was. I had heard about them, but never tried one so my wife bought me one for Christmas. The only problem was that she had a hard time keeping me out of the freezer until Christmas. Maybe next year they’ll have gift cards because those pies on a stick melt in Christmas stockings faster than you can say Key lime!

My hat is off to all the environmental gangs that frequently adorn the seats at most of the government meetings.  People like John Hammerstrom, Kay Thatcher, Barry Paterson and Ron Miller have been at the forefront and campaigned tirelessly to elect folks like Sylvia Murphy and George Neugent to do their environmental pirating work in the Keys.  These folks have done a stellar job in coercing both local government and state officials to devastate property rights of folks that own vacant land here.  Over the years they were instrumental in lobbying local government to successfully down zoned property (The Tier System) in heavily populated subdivisions and made them useless because they contain native trees causing property values to plummet and to make it possible for government to fleece these property owners out of their true property values. I think they were successful because most of these lots were owned by working people, people that purchased these lots to build their retirement homes on or to live in at a future date or yes, do what they pleased with them--a right not offered to most folks in Monroe County. This was a somewhat simple task since most people in this situation did not have the means to hire a Jim Hendricks or a Donald Craig to lead them through the meandering laws this county has put in place to trip up their means to an end.

At this month’s BOCC meeting I noticed, hopefully, a new trend emerging. It could be that the near perfect record of these gangs may be trumped by these so called developers’ deep pockets.  Maybe their near perfect record of property theft will be halted by the biggest equalizer made by man: the god almighty dollar.  We will see.

[Yawn] Gerald Ford died. In case you don’t remember, he was a president once who was famous for tripping, falling, getting hit on the head with a golf ball and pardoning Richard Nixon. (Ford's the one on the right in photo)

[Chart Room at Pier House] Hey, if you don't like it don't go there. We locals have worked for years to get that place like we like it!

Good news America! Late on the afternoon of Dec 24, our local Publix had already set up there Valentine displays. No more waiting!

Who's getting divorced on Big Pine? No body! We just swap a lot!

[Anderson, S.C. Dodo Award] Driver David Allen Rodgers, who was driving a float in the town's Christmas parade (despite being inebriated), was arrested after impatiently breaking out of the slow-moving parade line and speeding down Main Street, endangering riders and spectators.

New Year’s Eve Party open to all at the property owners building on Bogie Road just before the No Name Bridge.  Music, dancing, karaoke, BYOB, bring an appetizer.  $10 per person (just to cover our costs) starts at 8pm. Stay close to home and bring your friends! RSVP. Please call 797-0474 or email lovedkeys@aol.com           Bulletin Board

I use Big Brown for all my packages and just pay bills online. Hopefully soon the US gov’t will shut down the money pit that the post office is. Who needs letters anymore with email? I say get rid of the slow, inept Postal Service, already.

Key Deer Blvd not repaved because it's a playground for children and Deer] It's a street! A road for trucks and cars and cycles, not a Yellow Brick Road to OZ. Grow up! 

'Twas The Day After Christmas

'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head...Long Winded Tomes

[On Islamofascism and their penchant for violence] Have you ever heard of the Crusades or the Inquisition? As these moronic fanatics get more educated I think we will look back at the Islam terror and just shudder, but their violence will end. Then it will be some other group’s turn.

It looks like the sailboats will have to stay 6000 feet (over a mile) from the Pine Channel power lines.  That puts them at the south end of Pine channel so it will take a little longer to hit the lines when they break loose.

I read with more than a little interest the latest news items about Mayor Mario DiGennaro . . .Sloan's Space

This is America, it’s always proper to fly our flag for every holiday. Thank you Mike for remembering to include it on your truck!

Click the link and tell Santa what to do in the box.  I didn’t think he would do half the things I typed, but let’s see if you have any other ideas for him. He did everything I asked. I even asked him to kiss Rudolph. How did they do this? One word commands seem to work best. http://www.simonsezsanta.com/

Provide emergency notification to citizens of local, regional, national and international emergencies utilizing the Internet and electronic mail (email) in a secure and expedient manner" http://www.emergencyemail.org/EMENAbout.htm  Something to think about!

Does anyone know what bands are playing where New Years Eve?

The best Christmas present of the day was the slaughter of the Cowboys by the Eagles who were written off three weeks ago by the likes of Bradshaw, Howie Long and the ex-coach of the Cowboys.  Also, maybe now Irving will quit talking about how great To is or was.

[To the person complaining about the post office] Yet, more misinformation. Since The Postal Service Reorganization Act of 1970 Congress has absolutely zero control over the Postal Service's budget. The USPS is a completely self-sufficient federal agency, and the USA is still one of the very cheapest countries to mail a letter. As a former postmaster, and now a retired postal service fleet manager, I can state that the BPK post office is staffed as any other comparably sized office is anywhere in the country. Having experience in that area of postal operations I can also state that those folks work hard trying to offer the best service possible. Let those who have never erred make complaints...ahhhhhh, silence at last.

Do you know what the difference is between a squashed New Jersey person in the road and a squashed iguana? There are skid marks in front of the iguana.

Very funny! False Advertising - a gallery of parody False Advertising - a gallery of parody

[complaining about service animals] I looked at the web site and it did provide the service animal products. I saw nothing that made it look bogus. The only bogus thing is the way the previous writer took and figured how they would use it. They probably have a handicapped sticker hanging in their car window they got online also.

It is true that the national average for reported crime clearance is twenty-something percent?  In 2006, the percent of crime solved by Sheriff's detectives in Monroe County was in the high 30's.  One detective in the lower Keys is even in the low 50's, which is very rare.  This says a lot about our local cops.  The stats speak for themselves.  They are far exceeding the national average.

I'm going to try Rob’s breakfast, but the hell with the Bloody Marys.

I was the child of a divorced couple and grew up ok. My mother never, ever said one bad thing about my father in front of us kids although she hated him.

It's sad to see someone arrested for some Mickey Mouse pot offense on Christmas Eve. Why hasn't the State of Flori-duh come up to speed on this issue and changed the Laws? One Human Family.  This movement should start down here, of all places. The State of Flori-duh laws are severe and we have people in jail for life over weed. http://www.norml.org/index.cfm?wtm_view=&Group_ID=4530

This little white boy started playing bass in the early 60s. James Brown was "the hardest workin’ man in show buisness". His bass lines to Papa's Got a Brand New Bag and I Feel Good got me out of that "white" grove into that oh, so cool soul and R & B groves. I am forever in his debt. I do know he had his demons, so do we all. God bless you, James.

I gave in and had lunch with the guy who is in the personals ad here on Christmas Eve.  I was feeling alone on the holiday.  I am not sure you would call it a date or meeting a friend for lunch, but I enjoyed it a lot.  A true gentleman and made me feel very comfortable on the first date I've gone on since a nasty divorce.  I'll give it an A+.

Divorce and kids is a sad thought.  But many of them make it fine and if the staying parent can just realize that what they say about the missing parent from the home can scar their own relationship at a later date.  Their own feeling of the missing one should be kept to themselves (unless it's positive) and their close friends without the ears of the kids in close proximity.  Remember that the missing parent is still their parent and cutting them to ribbons makes you look bad in the long run.

Take one day at a time and get help if you have anger over the split up.

I think that the federal government should move some of the Key Deer to islands that can support a few deer like Marvin Key and Monkey Key. The problem is that they are not controlling the deer population on Big Pine Key.  Good conservation means that one does not over or under protect critters.  

If they would allow limited hunting with bow and arrow over bait the deer would be healthier. Another possibility would be to move a few Florida panthers to Big pine Key. In Yellowstone National Park, introduction of wolves has greatly reduced the elk heard by killing off the calves. Five years ago, for every calve elk that made it to Jackson Hole Refuge, three cows made it. Today, only 10% of the calves survive the spring and summer.  The same holds true to Isle Royale National Park.

[Who says Kiwis can’t fly] This video short has gained quite a following on the internet. The creator made it for his master's thesis in animation. If you aren't moved by the ending then you have no heart or are a member of the IKC. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs

Please send in your New Year's resolutions and wishes.
They will be published on New Year's Day in a special edition of Kudos and Whiners. New Year's Wish or Resolution
The deadline for publishing is 6am

Wednesday December 27, 2006

Tuesday December 26, 2006

James Brown, the godfather of soul, died yesterday ending his stardom that began with his 1962 dynamite blockbuster album James Brown Live at the Apollo. I’ve seen two fantastic concerts in my life and the James Brown Review performed in Providence, RI in 1963 was one of them. I’d never seen a more talented performer who gripped the audience like that before. My friends and I were almost the only white people there in that packed dance hall. I’ve heard the term “The house was rockin’” before, but this was the real thing. The giant dance floor was actually moving up and down with the rhythmic weight of the audience’s movement.

The 30 year old Brown first came out and played the big Hammond organ with the full band, horn section and all. Then his backup group, the Famous Flames, came out and did a tune or two; then James Brown came down from the Hammond and sang lead like I’d never heard before and put on a gripping and powerful performance the likes of which I don’t believe anyone has seen since. He seemed to float across the stage with his particular style of lightening foot work. Being a white kid I’d never heard any of the songs he performed, but everyone else there knew them. When he threw his cufflinks into the crowd I thought the young girls would swoon--he was pure sex. In his big number he’d fall to his knees, he was so gripped by passion, and scream out his song. Then one of the Famous Flames would come over with a bathrobe and drape it over his shoulders to comfort him. Then James would get up and throw off the robe and sing even harder and with more passion until he collapsed again. This time the robe was a little better. This rise and fall of emotion went on a few more times until the final time when the robe became a dazzling cape. What a showman!

Most people didn’t hear of James Brown until years later when he crossed over to the white audience with his hit I Feel Good and This is a Man’s World, but I remember him as the real Godfather of Soul.

I solved the wine cork/screw top controversy. I went into Big Pine Liquors and told the girl, "Give me your best box of wine."

Quicksand Video

Big Pine Coffee Country Club (BPCCC), the latest in surreptitious clubs, has arrived. Confirmation of this was established by surveillance from vehicles located around the vicinity. Convoking with a reliable local palter, has lead to query the club of the alleged purchases of two mobile home parks in Big Pine. (Possible location and even more possibility of spurious details of the parks' acquisitions to be revealed) Furthermore, the accountant for the club, from New Jersey, is to attend an inquisition for validation of subsistence of club funds. Memberships are on the rise. If you’re interested and think you can pass the pernicious initiation, contact one of the Grandee's for an application.

The breakfast at Rob’s is so good but the price of the coffee was high. So now Rob lowered his coffee prices, but just tacked that extra buck on to his Bloody Marys. A Bloody Mary is $7.00 now. What a guy. Ill go to the Key Deer, thank you.

James Brown died yesterday.

Fixing up the home? Live Search can help

I'm from Texas (big d, little a, double l, a, s) and I’m ashamed the Dixie Chicks are from Texas. The Dixie Chicks are not remarkable as Moanin' Sloan thinks.

On Saturday December 29th, Injade brings their dance tunes and fun vibe to Willie T's 525 Duval St, Key West. Showtime 10:30pm. For more information call 305-294-7674.

On New Year’s Eve, for a great fun party come ring in the new year with Injade at the Looe Key Tiki bar, located at MM27 in Ramrod Key. Showtime 8pm. For more information call 305-872-2215.

Injade's website is still in the works, but you can listen to some music clips at http://www.injade.com. Thanks so much for your time!

[Bloody DNA everywhere] I took a Forensic Science course while studying law in college and it is not as simple as this person makes out (too much CSI: Miami?). The FBI and other labs are so backlogged on DNA evidence submissions that they only accept DNA evidence from violent crimes (not your burglaries). Then, if it was a violent crime, your suspect would have to already be in the CODIS database to compare it with to get a match (meaning they have already been in prison and a reference sample taken, not just your local jail). National averages on clearances for reported crime is in the low 20 percentile (number of bad guys that are caught). It is frustrating to be the victim of a crime but we all know that anyone can come up to your car or house and break in usually without too much trouble and they won’t be caught unless they left a good fingerprint behind that is found (and they already have a fingerprint on file from having been caught on another crime), or a neighbor sees someone suspicious in the area writes down a license number. The blame goes to the jerks who commit the crimes against us and think they can take whatever they want (and maybe the parents too for the way they were raised) and not on the police for not being psychic and solving every crime where there are no leads to work with.

The Department of Tacky Tourism at TackyLightTour.com - The Best Blinkin' Light Website

James Brown is dead. "I Don’t Feel Good!"

To the person complaining about the post office here’s a little unknown information. Yes, the postal employees are overworked. One of the reasons for the cutback of help is that Congress cut the post office budget by 30%. (thanks to the Iraq war) That trickles down to the carriers who have to do twice the workload during the holiday season yet don’t receive twice the pay or time to do the job. As for 1 package going to the wrong place: If someone delivers 1 wrong piece of mail while delivering thousands of pieces correctly every day, that’s a great ratio. UPS has 2 employees doing deliveries and the post office has 1. I have a hard time going to a fast food place and getting my 1 order right. Now give that employee 500 orders and see what happens.

The post office employees do a great job considering their work loads from election time on thru Christmas with double and triple the workload. Send your mail to UPS instead, then let us know how they do. Good luck with big Brown. Use them to send out your checks to pay your bills also.

This past Friday, I was turning out of my subdivision off of Key Deer Boulevard where some car had just hit a large iguana as it was taking a "cement nap."  On the side of the road and going towards the carcass was the iguanas mate and it was almost hit by several cars, who had the kindness to slow down.  The next day, Saturday, I drove by the scene of the hit-n-run to see the  iguanas mate still there, waiting for its significant other to awaken. A car full of  tourists stopped and we moved the carcass from the roadside into the trees. 

They were disheartened to hear of the Blue Hole Alligator’s demise and how the Big Pine rednecks painfully kill these great iguanas. I dumped a bunch of treats near the woods for the grieving iguana family.  Next day, Sunday, I rode my bicycle over to the scene with fancy bags of lettuce and on the dead iguanas back was a juvenile iguana, probably its baby, and it was lying on top of the dead  animal. What floored me about the ordeal was to watch the reaction of the accident and the fact that the iguana family was staying with the deceased and were obviously in mourning.  Does Mister Iguana Killer realize that these animals have feelings and families? Plant native! When you lay down your air rifles (and try some catch and release) your Karma may balance. 

People, please break for animals. There is so much road kill lately. Tapping your breaks and honking your horn could save a life. We are in the Florida Keys and there is a lot of wild life, native and non-native, who are just trying to get across the road to see their family; much like ourselves.

This is in response to the person complaining about service animals and bogus websites selling service animal products to anyone.  It may be true that anyone can purchase almost anything online.  It is untrue however, that people may parade their dogs through public establishments at will.  Animals must be well behaved and controlled at all times. 

There is certainly no valid reason for anyone to have more than one service animal.  The law states clearly that a person with a disability as defined by federal law may individually train their own service animal (using a professional trainer or training service is not required) to perform specific tasks for the person with disability.  Under the ADA/Americans with Disability Act (federal law) "businesses and organizations that serve the public must allow people with disabilities to bring their service animals into all areas of the facility where customers are normally allowed to go."  This law applies to all businesses open to the public in the United States.  If you don't like a law, fight to get it changed, don't bad mouth a legitimate business and a law designed to facilitate a leveling of the playing field for disadvantaged individuals. 

I have a service dog in training right now but even though the law allows me to enter any public business with my dog (even during training) I am not so insensitive to the issue as to take my dog places where she might not be ready to make an acceptable presence.  Those of us with disabilities who benefit from service animal assistance have a responsibility not to abuse the legal privilege.  All privilege carries responsibility.  Of course there will be individuals who can't resist the temptation to stir up trouble just for sport.  They will be the few who besmirch the many though.  Most of us are not those people.  Try looking at the ADA Business Brief: Service Animals, one of the pages on the website mentioned, www.sitstay.com.  It explains the law clearly. 

We live on BPK. If you don't like our post office change your zip code.

No more blow boats (yea, I know they are not all sailboats, but most are) anchored in Newfound Channel starting the first of the year!  Kudos to those who made this happen. It is about time that something was done about the hazards to navigation out there with no anchor lights simply deteriorating and ultimately breaking loose from their "mooring" so they can drift into the power lines and cause all of us to be inconvenienced. 

Hey there Mr. Sloan. You are a different kind of bird, no doubt about it . . .Sloan's Space

Someone wrote in about messy divorces and what it could do for the kid’s sake. Here is my take on the situation from a kid’s point of view (I am 24). My parents were horrible when they were married and I hated how they were. They might have been in love once in their union, but I am glad it is over. Kids can be hurt by divorce and by what is said, but did anyone ever think about what caused the divorce in the first place? I believe that was more damaging than what happened and what was said during the divorce. So before anyone says “watch what you say” at that point you should really think about what you say in your marriage before it gets to the point of divorce.

As for me I am happily married and as for my mother she is about to marry the most awesome man who I am proud to call my step-dad.

Dear Ed, that poor little tree, I must confess, is mine. I decorated it late Christmas evening and thought I would share it with one and all. It’s blurry because with the flash the lights didn't show. Love and Peace!

I understand that the new band called Reach will be playing at the Key Deer Bar and Grill on Jan 6th, starting at seven. We'll all be there.

I hate to be a Scrooge and that is why I waited until after Christmas to mention the American Flag on the back of the Christmas Truck. The flag is all well and good, but it’s too much with the Christmas decorations and detracts from that holiday. It’s better to advertise one holiday or event at a time for more impact.

Honey: I'm home. Where's the egg nog?

Please send in your New Year's resolutions and wishes.
They will be published on New Year's Day in a
special edition of Kudos and Whiners.
The deadline for publishing is 6am

Tuesday December 26, 2006

Christmas 2006

Merry Christmas Poppa. I love you very, very much. Our 17th Christmas together and many more to come. Hope all our rabbits come true this year! You’re the best!

We send greetings of peace and joy and health and happiness to all our family and friends. With love. --Edward & Jill

Merry Christmas to my wonderful wife of 25 to 30 years who puts up with me and always is ready to share her love.—Bruce

For thirty years I came down here on vacation, loving these islands as a tourist. When I retired six years ago I came down as a snowbird. Then it happened. I met the locals. Now, when I occasionally go back north my Yankee friends ask, “What’s the big deal about the Keys.” I smile and reply, “It’s all about the folks I’ve met here. They’re the most caring, warmest, helpful group of individuals I’ve ever met.” Rich or poor, it doesn’t matter. We share, laugh and love together. Yes, I still smile when traveling our bridges (don’t slow down anymore), but it ain’t just the beauty of the islands, it’s the beauty within our eclectic locals. I feel very blessed and wish you all a Merry Christmas.

I would like to wish a very Merry Christmas to the hard working men and women of the Monroe County Sheriff's Office and Fire/EMS Department.  Your hard work and dedication to our community is too often thankless and unappreciated.  Happy Holidays and Thank You!

Merry Christmas to my husband who is visiting his mother for Christmas. Hurry home honey. I'll have the eggnog waiting!

I like the idea of Christmas Day being a nice posting day all day.  I will admit I am one of the biggest offenders when it comes to the negative postings and very rarely write a positive one.  In giving this some thought I had an idea.  How about making this a regular practice.  Maybe make one day a month, or week, a positive posting only day?  My thought is once a week is to much but once a month would be nice.  Any suggestions from my fellow readers/posters?  Any thoughts from The Editor?
Merry Christmas to our Keys Community.

Merry Christmas and remember to stick up for your friends, they are our biggest joys!

From all of us at US 1 Radio and 98.7 Conch Country...To all Big Piners and Keys residents...Have a happy and safe holiday season here in one of the most interesting places in the world. Hope you enjoy our Holiday Festival of Music on 104.1 FM.

Thanks for making us part of your life.
Bill Becker

P.S.  Happy Birthday to Jimmy Buffet.....he's 60 today!

A very Merry Christmas and the best of the New Year to everyone. 

I have absolutely nothing to complain about and am so thankful to be healthy and able to fish 'till I can't hold a pole.  I hope and pray everyone else can look about them and be as grateful that we are able to live and enjoy some of the most fantastic areas of this great country! (For me that is Rappahannock County, Virginia and Big Pine Key)  Look around you and smile and find something to laugh about and give a neighbor a hug!  God bless all and love from the old farmer. 

Just thinking of y'all at Christmas.  Missing you and the Keys very much. Also wishing the best to Imre in Hungary.  Happy New Year too, from the Valley of the Sun, XOXOXOXOXOXO,  RoyBoy

Merry Christmas to my friends in the Keys; Jeorge, Luanne, Georga, Lucey, Kevin, Cody, JK, Anny, Kangaroo, Mike, Peter, Sean, Debbie, Claude, Leo, and all the rest.  Looking forward to seeing everyone in Feb. for the Piper Road tour. Oh, I can't forget Terry Cassidy and his family! (St Pete is only 7 hours away.)  Peace, Love to all. --Berty.

Merry Christmas, Boots. Let’s have a better year in 2007. Love you Jake.

A Different Christmas Eve Story. Last night (Dec. 23) over dinner at Parrotdise, a Big Pine Key amigo asked me what was my next big project? I said I didn’t have a clue . . .Sloan's Space

I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Sorry I won’t be there to be at Capt. Dan's Christmas blow out. I'll be too busy freezing my ass off in VA. Wishing I was home Love you all. --Erin

I am writing a story about the village where I live. It will be a while before it's finished, but I’d like to share a small part of it with you.

Dec. 17th. 1956. We finally arrived in America, I didn't know at the time that we landed at Newark airport. We could hardly wait to get off the plane, I wanted to see America. It was dark outside and we were ushered to buses and departed for parts unknown. None of us spoke any English. I slid the window open a little and sniffed the air, it smelled good, it smelled free. I don't even know how long the ride was, my eyes could hardly take in all the sights. After the years of drabness it was wonderful to see the thousands of cars, Christmas decorations, and well dressed people. The place where we arrived was called Camp Kilmer in New Jersey.

There was about 80 of us and were directed to a large building by uniformed personnel with friendly faces. We entered with halting steps, my mother kept asking, "What is happening" and my dad reassured her that, "Everything will be fine now." He was just as confused as we all were. Inside the big hall was brightly decorated. I didn't know what all the big letters said, but the red stars confused me. Dad assured me that they don't have the same meaning here as it did at home. At about this time all the soldiers in the large dining room (I assumed they were soldiers) stood up and in a chorus said "Welcome to America and have a Merry Christmas". We thought that this was just the usual greeting and aped them back. I hate to think what we sounded like. A steam table ran along one side of the hall and it was loaded with hot food. We only had sandwiches for the past 33 hours and our stainless steel trays got loaded down. I had my first hamburger and banana in my life. I heard my dad say to my mom, "If I was twenty years younger, I’d join the Army tomorrow." my mom just laughed , all of us were relaxed now. We were in the land of the free!

Merry Christmas free Americans!

Seasons greetings and best wishes to all the Big Pine Whiners (and the ed for all her hard work) for a new year of health and happiness in a world of peace.

Merry Christmas, all! Dan Schwab, Big Pine Grind www.myspace.com/bigpinegrind

A Very Merry Christmas and a happy and successful New Year to all our friends, relatives and neighbors in BPK and the Keys.  We've lost some wonderful folks this past year, and our hearts go out to those families.  We miss the Keys SOOO Much! Love to all. --Carl and Pati Day (Thanks, Ed, for allowing us this venue)

Merry Christmas.  We are so fortunate to be living in paradise and the U.S.A.  My dad was an army veteran of WWII and survived the Battle of the Bulge.  I thank him and all those who ever served our country and those servicemen who are over "there" protecting our freedom during this holiday season.  Let's not take it all for granted.  Life is precious...live it, enjoy it and don't sweat the small stuff.  If you are unhappy here…leave.  Have a happy, healthy 2007.  God Bless each and every one of us.

I'd like to thank the people around Sugarloaf Key who put up the big HO HO HO Christmas lights seen from the road. It makes my ride even nicer and I can't help but smile. My entire family wants to say how happy it makes us feel and hope that they and everyone that reads this has a Very Merry Christmas!  I wish there was a message there all year round.

Merry Christmas and happy birthday Chris.  I love and miss you. Wish I was there. --Dave  

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to Glen Reber on Avenue E!

Merry Christmas to MSCO, Nadine’s, Square Grouper, Rob's (I don't know how robs got in this), and the disgruntled ex-employee of S.G.  Let’s all enjoy the best place and best people anywhere. It is amazing to me that the best, the brightest; the hardest working people down here get bashed the most. Christmas is a time to reflect, re-think, and forgive, to appreciate what we have.

To the readers of this wonderful site: My wife and I wish each and every one of you A Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and Prosperous New Year – whether you like me or voted for me. We truly live in the greatest place in the world. Love Ya, Peace on Earth, & Semper Fi. --County Commissioner George Neugent

Let's hear from Hungary!  Merry Christmas, my friend. We who knew you then know you belong here more than most do.

Wishing the Merriest of Christmases and a prosperous New Year 2007 to all from Key West Copper Art!

We wish everyone in the Lower Florida Keys a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!  Greetings from Barbara & Charles duPont, North Padre Island, Texas - chasdupontarts@aol.com

We couldn't do it without you! --BigPineKey.com

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Monday December 25, 2006

Christmas Eve 2006

I saw a few days back someone asked if anyone had answered the personal ad from the guy looking to meet an older lady.  Being new to the area and not knowing anyone here I did.  Although we haven't gone out he seems to be very nice.  I would go for it.  I just moved here after an ugly divorce and thought I was ready to date again but found out I'm not.  When I explained that to him he fully understood which seems to be a good trait.

On a different subject, thank you to the people who put this site together.  You have made it very easy for me to get a feel for my new community.  It is not only informative but extremely funny as well.  Life in a small town is entertaining.

[Break-in at business] For not being the person I was talking about, you took my post awfully personal.  While I respect you sticking up for your wife, a few things need to be pointed out to you since your head is buried in the mud.  First of all, as an employee, I was interviewed by the cops.  But, you already know that.  In fact, I'm part of the reason they now know how much of a liar I worked for.  Second, the police didn't get any evidence because the business owner was steering them in the wrong direction.  How could they gather evidence when she won't allow them to think one of her own employees ripped her off?  The place was not broken in to. 

Second, you obviously have no idea what Defamation of Character means.  Since you're so smart, why don't you define it and explain how what's written on this site is illegal.  There's a little clause in the U.S. Constitution called Free Speech.  You seem to think you can say whatever you want on this website, blaming everyone else for your own shortcomings.  But, when someone else calls you out, you cry defamation of character?  I think you just defined your own character.  You're a whiner and a crybaby. 

[English 101--unless you went to Florida schools]THERE is a place, such as over there.  THEY'RE is a contraction meaning they are.  THEIR indicates ownership, such as it's theirs.  Do you see the pattern?  If you guessed that IT'S refers to it is you just might be capable of balancing your check book.  Have a Marry Christmas.

Thanks for the link http://www.sitstay.com where we were able to get fake Service Dog Vests and now are able to take the entire pack of dogs just about everywhere. The ID card is helpful too!

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

[no place better to live than in the Keys] I agree 150%.  Living in the Keys is better than anywhere.  If you don't agree get the hell out!  Believe me I've seen Keansburg NJ-it is a total Ghetto.

To the well-meaning person who pointed out the Cats Indoors website, have you ever tried to convince a cat owner to keep their cat indoors?  It's like talking to a wall.  On top of that, there are really stupid outdoor cat owners who put bird feeders in their yards, even on Big Pine Key! 

Hey, Christmas truck guy. I moved from Big Pine last year and kept up on things through this wonderful site.  I remember reading that you were leaving Big Pine, moving away.  What happened? I guess you still live down there.

Wanna see some snow? KRDO.com - Colorado Springs - Pueblo - Blizzard Photos

Is it true that beginning this New Years Day no boats will be allowed to anchor in Newfound Harbor?  A friend that lives on the harbor told us this when we called him from Texas to send holiday greetings.  Just wondering if it is really true?

[But isn't that an oxy moron?] I thought an oxy moron was that bearded idiot who pushes that Oxyclean stuff on TV. Or maybe it is all the folks hooked on OxyContin? Who the hell knows? Oxy, however, has a nice ring to it, sounds scientific and goes well with a lot of words. How about OxyScrew for those wine bottle caps, or Oxybirds for all our fair weather visitors? Oxyhog sounds perfect for the New Jersey women.

If you rat on a "friend", they weren’t your friend.

[Who’s divorcing on BPK]  Two couples I know of.

What the hell is wrong with the Post Office? Let me see. Their only job is to deliver packages. It's the holiday season, and they are NOT allowed to work 1 minuet of overtime, no additional personnel for the extra load. They handled 4 of the 30 packages that I either received or mailed. Of the 4, one was delivered to wrong address, and one they can't find at all! When I went to the post office I was told, we will find it and call you. They did neither. So now my daughter will be missing 2 presents this Christmas. Nice customer service. Well, I will be there when they open, and it will be ugly for sure. US Post Office: You suck/1! I will ship everything by UPS in the future. 26 packages and all perfectly delivered. USPS, you can learn something from big brown.

[Who’s divorcing on BPK]  Two couples I know of.

One more electronic Christmas home display. Christmas Lights

Merry Christmas from Canada, eh!

Wow, I didn't realize how many wine lovers came to this page. Have any of you been to Baby's Coffee recently? If so, what are your thoughts on their wine selection?  (Corks and screws available.)

I wonder if the owner of the sailboat just north of the No Name Bridge knows it sank? A solar trickle charger and auto bilge pump would have saved him or her a lot of pain.

You'll have a true Grinch in Big Pine. Because of this little man my grandkids will not receive Christmas gifts from their grandpa. The story goes like this. I came to Big Pine Key and worked for a popular carpet and tile company in your area. When I went back to the mainland I was owed two day’s pay from this carpet and tile co. I gave them my forwarding address so they could send my pay. After a few calls and the (help of a very good lady [she knows who she is]) I received my check on 12-21-06 almost one month later only to find out the check was no good. I also found out that the check was no good when the Grinch wrote it (according to his bank) check dated 12-18-06. After having a conversation by phone with the little man called Grinch I am forced to take legal action in this matter. Let this serve as a warning to all who cross the path of a very little man called Grinch.

Welcome to NORAD Tracks Santa 2006

[Food for thought]  When someone calls others of a different profession dumb, but are unwilling to assist or provide useful insight because they don't even know themselves, doesn't that make the whiner just as dumb? 

I am a criminal attorney and can straighten out a couple of uneducated statements.  First, only the large metropolitan police agencies in this state process their own DNA due to costs.  Otherwise, all samples are sent to Tallahassee at the cost of several thousand dollars per sample.  The FDLE processing lab is so far behind they will only accept samples involving serious, violent felonies like Homicide, Rape, etc.  Otherwise, burglaries not involving personal injuries will not be accepted.  And, DNA is only as good as samples on file.  The CSI comment was perfect because it is illegal to collect DNA from hair, etc without consent of the suspect - if there is one, or a warrant.  This is no fault of the investigating agency.  They have their hands tied in many other areas also.     

Second, as a patron of the restaurant, the disgruntled ex-employee was referring to a couple days ago, I do know that they have served alcohol beyond the scope of their license.  I know this because I've seen it.  I believe the secret term used for a real martini was "distilled olives."  The person writing in did not provide any specific names.  Therefore, they did nothing illegal.

As for the shopping center car burglaries, I've searched the public police records.  There have been no reports.  How can a crime be solved that's never reported?

If you have a concern, just ask.  I, for one, am willing to provide truthful answers.  Things are not always as simple as they seem. 

As I was in the check out line at W/D the fragrance of the attractive lady in front of me was intoxicating. I said to her, "Don't know that perfume, but it should be called ‘One Wiff Woodie’” She chuckled and said, "doesn't work on my husband" I offered my condolences and also any other service she might require. She stated, " No thanks, but you did make my day, he tried to make like it was my fault. Now I know where the problem lies (dormant).”

(Ed: Special Christmas Day Kudos and Whiners will be all kissy-face and sweet. Please send in your Christmas greetings before 6am Christmas morning so we can print them. You can even include your name.)

Does anybody have any idea how I might contact NCIS in the Keys area? I’m also looking for the name of a lawyer in the mid-Keys, a lawyer with a junkyard dog attitude that would like to take a bite out of some SJA and Navy Masters at Arms asses.

If you missed a band called the Druids who played at Boondocks this weekend, you really missed one of the better bands this reviewer has heard down here lately. This three piece combo with their eclectic blend of alternative and good ole rock and roll is a welcome change to the music arena in this area. Boondocks promises to have them back after the first of the year. Do yourself a favor and check out The Druids when they return to the Keys!

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Sunday December 24, 2006

Saturday December 23, 2006

[For Good Wine "Screw on the Cap] With 5000 years of experience you would think wine could be sealed with something better than tree bark. Both synthetic corks and screw tops are much better than traditional cork. Cork has several flaws. The major one is cork taint. This causes the wine to smell like dirt, wet cardboard and mold. As much as 8%of the wine bottled with cork can be contaminated with cork taint. Synthetic corks and screw tops do not cause cork taint.

Another problem with natural cork is that each cork has a slight difference in density. This causes each bottle of wine to age at a different rate. Each bottle of wine sealed with a cork is not the same and they taste differently from the same batch. If a cork is less dense, then the wine ages faster because the oxygen entering the bottle causes oxidation that can destroy the wine. Synthetics and screw tops are designed to allow the wine to age at a specific rate and each bottle ages at the same rate. Cork has to be kept wet to maintain a seal that is why bottles have to be stored on their sides. Synthetics and screw tops can be stored in any position and it will not affect the seal of the closer.

Lastly, this is where screw tops win, why do you need a tool to open a bottle other than to make a job for a Wine Steward? Screw tops allow you to take wine to places without a cork screw, ie, the beach. I will not carry a cork screw in my Speedo!

[Chart Room at Pier House] I agree that the smell of rancid peanuts is overwhelming. The place really needs a makeover.

This is a typical scam you might get from posting online classified ads. A big hint is that they never even mention the product their supposedly trying to buy.

Hello Seller, My name is Tom Taylor. I am an American business man Based in United Kingdom. I will like to purchase your for sale which you listed for sale on the posted adds. Do let me know as soon a possible if it is still available and if payment with a Cashier's check or Money order is fine. Concerning the shipping, I have a reputable shipping company that will be coming over directly to your place for the pick up. I await your response. you can contact me here on my email address tom_taylor01@yahoo.com and get back to me with the asking price and also including your full name, full address and contact phone number on where the payment will be send to. 
Many thanks and God bless  Best Regard, Tom, Call me on +447031894233

[The IT Drink of the Month]  "Hpnotiq" (it's blue vodka, cognac and fruit juices) on the rocks with two shots of Hennessy Cognac.  Lights Out.  Drink Responsibly.  Use Protection.  Not on an empty stomach.  Merry Christmas! 

I received an email from Robert Cintron, Seahorse's attorney, responding to what I was moved to write yesterday morning . . .Sloan's Space

Maybe the person asking why Key Deer Blvd. hasn't been repaved should see how fast the jerks drive on it now.  If it were repaved it would become a racetrack.  Pave Key Deer and see how many Key Deer are killed on it.

No matter how you feel about the war, we need to show our troops that we are behind them. There is a website that will send a postcard that you can personalize to a random soldier to say Thanks for their service. www.LetsSayThanks.com.  I think its the best present they can get. Merry Christmas.

Everyone is making a good point here. The cops do have to be smarter then the smart criminals to catch them. But isn’t that an oxy moron? Can criminals be smart? If they were smart would they be criminals? Maybe if they weren’t quite as smart they would be the dumb cops trying to catch smart criminals. That is what you are saying.

"Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"  - Arlo Guthrie

Jimmy Buffet is a great songwriter, but Warren Buffet sings my kind of tune$.

Go here for some truly awesome wallpaper. EO Newsroom: New Images Index

The Air Force Accident Investigation concluded the pilots forgot to lower the landing gear. The USAF estimated the damage to the B-1B at $7.9 million, and the damage to the runway at $14,025. For those of you who've never seen a $285,000,000.00 bomber on the deck, here she is.

I am glad I was here before the coral outback started to die off, before the green slim that gets stuck between your snorkel and your mask, before the sand bars out back were over crowded on Sunday.

Oh times have changed, it’s hard to even wave to people on the boat anymore because they don’t even look. I am easy on the novice boater. I was their once. I make lots of room because I know where I can go and how much water I draft. But even with these niceties no one wants to wave anymore. Once in awhile I find a nice boater and I give him a nice smile and a hardy wave but that is an exception. Mostly they just stare at me when I’m on the dock or swimming in my pool. I wave, they just look at me as if I have a face deformity I have not been made aware of. The new “higher class” they are real good people. You can always count on ‘em, for what, I have no idea?

But you will never get my numbers. The locals built this town and you are here to tear it down. It’s sad. (A solitary tear rolls down my cheek) I do hope this place wears on you and that “better then everyone” attitude dissolves away with the salt. I still love this place and always will. I have grown to love many people down here over the years. I have their back and they have mine. Be respectful to the locals they have knowledge you can only dream of. And if you are respectful just as they are they will share it with you. I also believe you are an exception to the rule. Don’t speak for the new comers “you are not the best spokes person.” Yeah, Yeah Loafers, Piners and Stumberland.

The county has always kissed the butts of the commercial fishermen, so don’t be surprised that they are buying property for them to use.  Heck, lots of lobster guys run their business from the side of the road on the public right-of-way, building and storing traps.  When questioned why this was allowed, the response was that it’s “part of the county’s ambiance”.

Do you think they’d let me run my business and store my stuff by the side of the road if I ran a roofing company?  I think not.

Who's getting divorced on Big Pine?

To the French Canadian (Quebec plates) speeding down US1 at 85 mph, I guess you think you're too good to follow the rules like us lowly Americans. May an egret with diarrhea crap in your pretty red convertible Mustang. Better yet one of our wonderful Sheriffs gives you a Christmas present from the beautiful State of Florida. Sorry, but I don't care for foreigners who think the laws don't apply to them except when they need them.

I am amazed that the "Three Day Syndrome" is alive and lingering in the Lower Keys. No matter how important a topic is, people here only hold the thought for three days. Do you remember there is a January 30, 2006, meeting at the Sugarloaf School about the Building Commission's Plans to redo the Lower (and all) Keys? Be there or lose it all. They will condo everything unless we stop them! Pass this on to your friends who care about our way of life.

One can only "rat" on a friend.

Sloan is saying that his Seahorse defense fund donation came from God and is asking that Bill Lowey refund the money to God.  I simply suggest that Bill Lowey right out a check payable to god and mail it to heaven.  If God desires the refund he will find a way to cash the check. If he hasn't done so in 30 days, I'm thinking that God will have meant it to be for the Seahorse.

Iraq: The most successful war in history. Forget about "weapons of mass destruction, etc." During the first Persian Gulf War, caused by Iraq's invasion of Kuwait, Iraq launched missiles into Israel, a non combatant.  This blind and fatal hatred of other's theological beliefs is unacceptable. May all Islamic extremist note the fate of Iraq, to date, before they exercise blind hatred.

[Business break-ins] There was blood found at one of the crime scenes. The cops down here are a far cry from what you may be used to. These criminals may have used gloves but they left bloody DNA everywhere. Just like you state, if you are ignorant of the facts keep your mouth shut. If you have never meet and talked with a local officer then you really can't have any opinions of them. Have they found the person or people breaking into the cars at the shopping center? That should not be too hard for these people.

I love the Screw Cap on wine. I have been buying Plump Jack, in Napa for 10 years with a screw top. The Cabernet Sauvigon sells for $150 a bottle and is much better than any Latour, Haut-Brion, Margaux, Mouton Fothschild or Lafite Rothschild which all sell for more than $500/bottle. I do not expect any of those to figure the screw top out because they have Wine Stewards to make it look special. All those wines from France were beaten by California in an international tasting in 1976. California did it again this year with the same wines from 1976. When French Winemakers come to California they stay in California. California is simply the best place to grow grapes in the world, period! Drop the French and start drinking the good stiff from America. When you go to France drink the French Wine. Save a cork tree and get with the Screw Cap.

If you have a business go to BJ's or somewhere on the mainland and buy a security system.  You can get a computer system for a few hundred dollars that you can monitor from your computer at home. The software even alerts you to intruders. If you can afford a store you can afford that type of protection for sure.

Too many cops? It could be worse. Hungarians? Who cares, as long as they think like us. Muslims, Kwanza, we can take it all if we just love a little more and hate a lot less.

Merry Christmas to all, but remember the developers are coming! The developers are coming and your properties are their targets. Enjoy Paradise while you still can!

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Saturday December 23, 2006

Friday December 22, 2006

I am here to Bah Humbug the use of County funds, namely my tax dollars, to the tune of over twenty-million. So far three waterfront properties around the County have been identified for purchase to protect the commercial fishing industry.  I make my living from the water and I sacrificed much to purchase waterfront from which to run my business.  Won't this give an unfair advantage to those on the County docks?  Now they tell us that they want to assure water access because of redevelopment of the waterfront.  This will undoubtedly raise all of our taxes.  If the commercial fishermen won't band together and purchase these properties for themselves at their own risk, after not investing in their own future in the past, we need to make it clear that one group of businesses should not be subsidized at the expense of the rest of us.  There are plenty of businesses in the Keys who are suffering and I don't see the county offering to support them in these trying financial times. 

[Screw Caps] Del Monte is using their left over tin from spinach cans for screw caps on wine. Drink up and eat your spinach.

Gigantic pats on the back for the two separates posters yesterday.  The person who corrected the little moron who watches too much CSI and was highly misinformed on the law; and the classy person regarding wine corks.  It's so good to see some intelligence posted here for a change.  This is a good sign that the people of much higher standards are thankfully replacing the screwy-topped white trash who are leaving the area.  It's ridiculous how many Big Piners pass on wrong information and speak as if they're an authority when they have no clue.  Don't believe a word they say!    

I love it when it rains and hope it rains for a full week.  

It appears that The steakhouse is now 915 (Duval) since Shula's closed. They give you a good sized steak and don't cut corners like some over-priced Key West steak joints.  Let's hear how you like this place. 

The lower Keys property owners group is hosting a New Year's Eve party on the 31st at our building on Bogie Rd., BPK.

Everyone is invited to attend.  BYOB, bring a dish to share, and $10 to cover the cost of our music.

This dance party will start by 8pm and go until after we ring in the New Year!  If you don't want to drive far, and want to meet your neighbors, please join us! 
RSVP to Dixie Lee Henckel at 797-0474  Bulletin Board

I guess you only bash certain businesses. I have emailed you twice about a legit problem with a business; you must be friends with these people. (Ed: Did you write Kudos and Whiners in the subject line so our spam filters didn’t delete it?)

Are there any other sports fans out there that think the Oregon Ducks have the most hideous uniforms in the history of football on any level?  I think a real duck would get sick looking at those; then they added these glow-in-dark helmets! Geeze, what is someone thinking?  I mean, someone likes that?

Costa Rica and those "Other Investment Places" were a con job from the start. Lots of people lost everything, trying to make a few bucks or trying to find another Paradise to live in. My motto is, "If it ain't in the U.S. of A., it ain't worth it!"

[Should mountain climbers pay for rescue; if you drive into a pole to avoid a deer you pay for the pole] Great logic. The Deer belong here, those climbers choose to do what they did. Your tax money pays as usual. Right?

[Mosquito Control Helicopter?]  Why don’t you call them, they could tell you?  292-7190 Business Directory > Government

[Growing pot on public land] Back in the late '60s, the Philadelphia Airport was not as large as it is today. In back of it, there were hundreds of open fields. Yes, there were acres of "weeds" growing freely everywhere. The Philly Police, in their infinite wisdom, decided to destroy the "plant life". They burned it. Half of the “Heads” in Philly got stoned that day.  A true moment in history!

I can't agree more with the person who said the cops could make a fortune just by ticketing the blue SUV driving down Key Deer Blvd. out to Port Pine Heights.  I have had this idiot pass me many times.  I wonder if the driver knows that the race track is in Homestead not Port Pine Heights.

"Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?" - Tom Armstrong

It sure is funny that the streets in the Avenues got nicely re-paved but we can’t get badly needed Key Deer Blvd. re-paved. Oh, but that’s right the developers kiss butt and get whatever they ask for.  It’s all about money.

My Xmas wish is that those well-meaning, but misguided feral cat release people would read some of the info on this site: http://www.abcbirds.org/cats/  There’s lots of interesting info for cat lovers and wildlife lovers alike.

[Keansburg, NJ is rebuilding and on the way up]  Big freakin’ deal!  If you like it so much then go there because there is no place better to live than in the Keys!

Political statements are everywhere.

Disney’s cartoon animation was so good because he hired a big staff of young artists and paid them half of what he should. If they complained Roy would whip them and they'd never work again. Walt was a dictator.

It is great to see so many people praising the SPCA and all animal shelters.  These people have difficult jobs and don't get complimented for the great work they do.  I have adopted two dogs and would never get a dog anywhere else.

It's a damn shame that we've got such low-lifes running around here breaking into people's houses and businesses.  What's even worse is that people want to sit around and Monday-morning quarterback the police and the victims.  I agree with whoever pointed out the criminals are to blame.  It's impossible for the police to be everywhere at once.  So, you can't blame them. 

Many business owners can't afford to put expensive security equipment in their shops.  So, you can't blame them either.  Maybe I'm missing something here, but if a criminal breaks into a place wearing gloves, and there are no video cameras to record him and no-one sees him do it and no alarm goes off and the stolen goods don't get pawned, how are the police supposed to catch them?  What evidence would there be?  Even if the police had a likely suspect, how would they prove the case in court without a confession or witnesses?  I think we all should consider what's important here.  As a community, we need to support our local businesses and our police.  Without our support, quality tends to break-down.  Not only do we lose faith in them, they lose faith in us.

As for those of you calling each other names because you disagree, grow up!

[SPCA vs Stand up for Animals] Apparently the SPCA has a contract with the county to answer dog concerns/complaints.  That is who I was referred to by the county.  They were prompt and the problem was solved.  I could ask for no more.

If cops aren’t suppose to solve crimes why do we have them? The cops do have the burden to find the criminal or criminals that commit crime even if they are “advanced criminals.” These places have been burglarized or attempted to be burglarized on multiple occasions not just once. The business in question was burglarized twice that I know of. I find it hard to believe the owner left the door unlocked both times, though it is possible. The blame should fall on everyone that messed up including criminals, business owners and the police. It is conceivable that the police and business owners did not make any mistakes.

Defamation of Character is the term used to describe allegations of libel written, slander spoken or both. Neither person could be found guilty due to the fact that no specific person or organization was named. Not because it is written and posted online. You may need to do some of your own research. Even cops like you don’t know the laws to a tee. Sorry for the assumption but I couldn’t resist. The statement, “There are people running around that, after being caught in the past, know how to conceal evidence and get away with things.” Lead me to that conclusion. You are already making excuses for the cops.

That individual deserves everything he gets and more for spreading false allegations like that. That person got off easy for spreading false allegations based on no facts.

Slideshow of blizzard pictures from DIA, formerly known as the "all-weather airport". Denver Post News Gallery

I was walking around in Key West and stumbled upon this hole in the wall called the Chart Room. The people there were nice, but there was something in their large peanut barrel; kind of gross.

This gives the North Pole a whole new meaning. http://home.att.net/~hideaway_today/t041/xmas_santa.swf Don't forget to enter your name.  I think this one qualifies as a merry xmas.

[Exotics] 154 pythons have been removed in and around the Everglades through the first 11 months of this year, up markedly from the 95 caught in all of 2005, 70 in 2004, and 23 in 2003. When will you people learn? Are you still dumping your overgrown aquarium fish and reptiles into the Blue Hole? And has the dive shop ever removed all of those nasty plants from Brazil?

Hello, Mike. I just want you to know that I think your doing a great job driving around in you Christmas truck with your kids in tow. Anyone that knows you knows that you have a big heart that gives to the locals in more ways then just at Christmas. If everyone only knew how much work you did after Wilma to help all of us. Your heart is in the community and it will always be. You’re a person that desires respect for all that you have done to help and I thank you for it. Next year I'm sure you will find a way to spell out Christmas. Don't let this get you down. Have a great Christmas.

Yogi Berra would be proud.

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me.  I wan' all dem kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

 Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius.  A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you?  Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, "Coach, I don't know and I don't care."

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Kid, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."

(Ed: Please send in your Holiday greetings and wishes. They will all be published on Christmas morning in a special holiday edition of Kudos and Whiners. Only happy stuff and your name will be printed too, if you wish.)

What's the scoop on Robs? Whoever put anybody out of a job here on Big Pine Key, where we all try to survive the work place, is truly a scum bag.

How did the Japanese view their emperor during and prior to WWII? There are many who believe they viewed their leader as god and fought for this “god.” Therefore they are religious fanatics. I do not believe you can find an unbiased opinion on this subject. I may be wrong but, in my opinion, many of the Japanese that were fighting in WWII had religious fanatical undertones. Many historians will say they fought for fear of losing their families and homes. But that is not why they originally got involved in this war. Japan got involved in its war in 1937 for territorial gains and resources in Asia. I guess the question is what the Japanese royalty told it’s populous for the justification for the territorial expansion. I doubt these leaders told their people we are going to kill hundreds of thousands of people for coal and other military materials.

No matter what happened in the past with Japan we know the propaganda or information we hear now over whelming points to our new enemies as religious fanatics. I guess the real point is: We can beat religious fanatics just as we beat people believing they were defending their homes or their god-like leader, whatever you prefer. This leads to another question. Maybe our new enemies are not religious fanatics but somehow believe they are defending there homes, values and beliefs. I am sure that is what they are being told by their religious leaders. Many Muslims believe their leaders are descended from Allah. Either way if you believe a human can be “god” you are a fanatic no matter what you believe you are fighting for. I’m not sure how the fanatical Muslims view their Mullahs nor should we take their word 100%.

[Helicopter] Actually they are following you. We see that every now and then here in the Keys. Since you saw them, you can't get away.

What was Rob's ratted out about?

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Friday December 22, 2006

Thursday December 21, 2006

‘Tis the season. A Redneck Xmas http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/full/ap/3023160/graphic1.swf

I think Tom Clancy and Clive Cussler are one and the same person. They write the same books and both have the same recurring characters. Dirk Pitt and Jack Ryan; both are interchangeable.  Both authors end their books with a breathing taking chase and vengeance satisfied.

Jimmy Buffet is a great songwriter, but he can’t hold a note worth a damn. Few of his songs have a note longer than 1.5 seconds. After that he goes flat. Listen to him sing traditional Christmas songs and you’ll hear him going flat on almost all of the sustained notes.

[Wahoo] Sure you can use the photo. It was caught in early summer, school had just gotten out. I’m happy to share the story. Capt.  Joe

When I wrote about a week ago of going off to spend some time with a crusty old crocodile named Methuselah, I perhaps should have realized I was going to need that salty old dinosaur's tough hide and big teeth . . .Sloan's Space

It's always a good idea to lock your vehicle and keep valuables out of sight.  Right around Thanksgiving, we take every precaution with the family jewels and other items because the bad guys commit more robberies at the Holidays.  We're on high alert year-round because when you have some cheddar, there's always a little rat who wants a piece for free. Some things are irreplaceable.  Be careful of the service people who you let in your homes, they could be casing the joint and there is a thing called Home Invasion for those of you who swing open your doors to perfect strangers.

[People are going to Belize] Forget that one too. A local couple, a bartender and a bar manager, got married and moved to Belize a couple of years ago to open their own bar there. They worked hard to make a go of it, but the local crooks cleaned them out not once but twice. They are back in the Keys now.

[divorce in the Keys]  It's not that you're breaking up, you're just losing your turn. 

Snowball fight. Great fun! Turn up the volume. Don’t hit Santa he will swear at you. Move mouse onto the people who are not Santa and click. Remember, don’t hit Santa! Click on: http://www.elfmovie.com/swf/snowball_fight/index.html

There needs to be a grass roots movement to address rising Florida insurance rates. In most Florida areas with overpriced homes fueled by investors there is not going to be much appreciation in future years. Why should the borrower be saddled with all the insurance costs? On a 30 year note (which seldom goes to term) the lender is going to make a lot more money than the borrower ever will. Why not tell the lenders they should pay 1/2 or all the costs of rising insurance? They are going to make most of the money (especially in the next 10 years). Let them take some of the burden. Business Directory > Island Breeze Mortgage Co

To the cowardly, backstabbing, lowlife that  ratted out Rob's Grill, may the fleas of a thousand mongrel dogs forever infest your home, and may you contact a virulent strain of head lice resistant to all know forms of treatment. Shame on you!

[Names in the News] Pleading guilty to manslaughter in Pierre, S.D. was Mr. Austin First In Trouble. And in Providence, R.I., the teenager sentenced to life in prison for murder (where his life might rot away) is Mr. Phearin Rot. On the brighter side, a linebacker for South Sumter High School in Bushnell, Fla., had a good year: Yourhighness Morgan (whose brother Handsome Morgan and cousin Gorgeous Morgan were undoubtedly proud of him).

Keep Christ in Christmas, actually a P with and X superimposed on it, The Chi Rho is a symbol made from the first two letters of "Christ" in Greek.

Big Pine’s animal shelter is not the SPCA. It’s Stand Up For Animals (completely separate organizations).

Dang, The Orientals get all the good Coca-Cola products!

This is for the man speaking out for our local businesses.  I also support those people whose businesses have been broken into.  But, you are not the best spokesman for them because you are ignorant.  Let me point out a few things.

1.  You need to stop watching CSI on TV.  The real world does not work like that.  You obviously have no knowledge about the rules of evidence.  You cannot blame the police for these places being broken into, especially if it is true that one of them left the door unlocked.  Security is the burden of the owners, not the police.  Perhaps you shouldn't criticize a profession you know nothing about.

2.  How dare you call someone else vulgar names and go on and on in that tyrannical childish tone.  There is nothing illegal about bad mouthing on the internet.  By the way, if it was, it would be called libel, not defamation of character.  Maybe you should do some research yourself.  It was just as much their right to say what they had to say as it was for you to say what you did.  Again, perhaps you should look in the mirror before you criticize.

3.  You mentioned places being robbed, or attempted to be robbed.  Breaking into a building is called burglary, not robbery.  Robbery is when you steal directly off a person.  Burglary is the unlawful entry to a building with the intent to commit a crime therein.  Once again, perhaps you should educate yourself on the laws before you criticize.   

[Mosquito Control] Anyone know what that chopper was doing flying around Port Pine Heights at 50 feet off the ground for two days now? It goes west out to the Contents at about 100 MPH, then comes back over Big Torch, Middle Torch, and back to Big Pine. Then they do it over and over and over again.

Keansburg, NJ is rebuilding and on the way up. They fixed up the boardwalk and there are many new houses there. My cousin Tony still lives there. It’s not as nice as here, but its close! The people there are nice too.

Man, Sloan needs to get off whatever he's on. PS God is invisible, you nut.

[Screw the cap!] I hope Chateau Lafite, Chateau Margaux and Chateau Latour, Chateau Mouton and Chateau Haute-obrion don't screw up. Pardon my spelling, I'm not French, but I know good wines. Screw the top. Stick with the cork. Just can't see the Wine Steward coming to your table and asking if you want to smell the screw cap.

A traditional Christmas scene and very nostalgic.  Ashland University Holiday Card 2004

So Sloan wants Bill Lowey to return money from God for the Seahorse defense fund, but gives him his address. Isn’t that the worlds greatest country song by a rock group, (Rolling Stones) "Far Away Eyes"?

Free Willi --before it's too late.

What's up with the private breakfast club at the Big Pine Coffee shop? What’s with all the secrecy and covert maneuvers going on? Is this yet another division of our government's elite anti/anti-nudist tactical squad? Anyway, my eyes are completely wide shut to this roguishness. I will get to the bottom of this.

Cops could make a fortune stopping the blue SUV from Port Pine Heights.

"Merry Christmas Imre", there's still some of the old crowd that wishes you were still here.

So there I was driving across the 7 mile bridge yesterday with about 20 cars in a line in front of me. We were making good time at about 60 miles per hour. Then some moron in a mid-size red pickup ran up behind me and just had to pass me to try to fill the space between me and the car in front of me, I had to brake to let her in. I hope you made it to where you were going on time "WENKE".

What was the name of the book again about the guy who went the length of Africa and found out no one had ever heard of Kwaanza?

I was looking for a girl named Tabatha. I'm Dave at dshafferbpk@aol.com

Thank you BPK Fire Dept and Mike.  You put the spirit of Christmas out to all.

Keys Critters in Key Largo does an annual photo shoot for pets and owners; and Santa (aka Bob Hutchinson) has done a wonderful and dedicated community service. It's hard work.

It's the holiday season and time to remember those who tend to be forgotten.  Among them is Exotic and Wildlife Rescue (EWR) on Big Pine Key.  Everyone knows they can call Maya Totman and she will do her best to rescue disabled critters and rehabilitate them; few know how much it costs to do this work.  Special foods, medicines, surgical supplies - all these cost money and it is a struggle to find enough.  If a monetary donation is impossible, EWR can always use Clorox, dish and clothes detergent, Pediolite and towels.  All donations are tax deductible.  Please help EWR and all the critters during this holiday season.  Your generosity is deeply appreciated. Business Directory > Bird Rescue

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Thursday December 21, 2006

Wednesday December 20, 2005

Roger that on the Tom Willi “request” to be paid additional time/double time for what he’s paid for doing – and only because he was turned down by BOCC when Mr. Danny Kohlage aka “I got my eye on you, boy” stated it was not in his contract. And did the boy whine!

Following up on my barking dog/dog left alone query.  After being referred to several different county phone numbers, the BPK SPCA lady came out (on her day off!) and talked to the neighbor.  All is calm and bright.  The SPCA was great.

[SPCA Pet Expo Photos] I was at the expo, too, and I believe the photos with Santa were sponsored by Pampered Pets in Key West.  You might want to give them a call.  They're good people.

I’m looking for some help from the other ladies who read this page.  Has anyone answered the ad in the classifieds/personals from the guy who is looking to date an older woman?  Any input I can get will be helpful.  It is tough to be a single woman in my mid 50's here in the Keys.  Ladies, if you answer this question there is no need to add your email.  I am not putting mine so I don't have tons of spam sent to me.

The person that said that cork was a superior wine bottle sealer than a screw-top lives in the old world. Today, screw-top wine bottles are the best way to seal wine except for putting it into a bag that does not have an opening. Cork has run it's day and the quality of cork that is available will not hold a bottle for aging safely. Why not test it out and let me know how it compares. Anyone telling you that a cork is better is selling you something inferior and for less money. Did you know that a screw-top cost more than a cork and is harder to put on a bottle than using cork. Glad to educate you about new things like a Screw-top. If you want to know more just reply.

The bitching about the cost of finding Americans lost in the wild is ridiculous. America has always had people that enjoyed exploration and adventure. It’s one of American citizen’s traits. If we can waste billions and billions trying to turn Iraq into a Democracy when they didn’t even request our help, we can afford to spend $6,600 a day to search for lost mountaineers. The vast majority of those searching are volunteers. Maybe you should complain about the billions instead of the thousands. That’s Bush-league. Americans are pioneers; it’s one of our strengths--not financial whiners.

This is a note to any and all of the several couples that are in the process of messy divorces here on Big Pine Key. I am speaking from experience when I write what I am about to.

You have all been here for many years and are known by all the long term residents here. We all know about the Big Pine Rumor mill and how it works. This is a very small island that has a very long term memory. When you are no longer suffering from the heartache you are going through, your stories will still be remembered here. All those things you shared about your former partner, be they true or tale, will follow you.

You are all wonderful people. Loved by many here. Both sides of the couples. We who are not in your relationships do not need to hear personal information that has nothing to do with us. Stop talking.

The worst consequence is that your children will hear these stories and will remember who said what about whom. They are the victims here. They love both of you and don't need to be a part of your grief; they have their own to deal with. The family Judge here always tells parents who are divorcing to say nothing derogatory about the other parent in front of the children. There is a reason for that. On this island, the stories travel so swiftly and so thoroughly that the children are sure to hear them too. Please be cautious for their sakes.

[18 hour evacuation time] Most people don’t evacuate, but what if they did? That would throw the whole phony 18 hour evacuation time out the window. Or suppose there is a major accident on the 7 mile bridge? Get real. Development isn’t as important as saving lives.

You cannot imaging how strange it is to be on a world where almost no one I meet, hear or read about has been hijacked by God . . .Sloan's Space

Humans are different than other species because we can hate. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGdXBo-ukCk

I care about the Hungary.  I gave to the thanksgiving food drive. 

[18 hour hurricane evacuation time] Perhaps the elected officials are thinking about the way people in the Keys really act rather than how they should act.  How many people really leave when the county gives the order to evacuate?  No one evacuates for a CAT 2 hurricane even if the county orders them, but a CAT 2 hurricane can ramp up to a CAT 4 or 5 in less than 24 hours like Frances did last year.  So until people start evacuating when ordered, no one will know the problems arising from a compressed evacuation time.  In the long run, those who don't evacuate will be trapped and die thus reducing the population and future evacuation time. I think that's what Darwin meant by natural selection.

[Covering the dining room chairs] Please e-mail me at k4d@bellsouth.net. 

Growing pot on public land. August 30, 2006 - Press Release - ONDCP

[Christmas lights] I guess you can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time.

Amazon.com: The Wooden Spoon Bread Book: The Secrets of Successful Baking: Books: Marilyn M. Moore

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the federal government.

However, you may not know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary  Rodham, John F. Kerry, William Jefferson Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Charles E. Schumer, and Barbara Boxer were born.   See what happens when aliens breed with sheep?

This piece of information may clear up a lot of things.

It isn't me that wants the Seahorse legal fund money back. I said at the Thanksgiving Eve meeting at Seahorse that the money had come from God, and for Seahorse folks to thank God and not me for it . . .Sloan's Space 

May you always have love to share, health to spare, and friends that care.

I am actually a man and not someone who owns any of the shops that have been burglarized. Nor have I or do I work for any of them. When you make assumptions you make an ass out of you and me. I have heard of three other places either robed or were attempted to be robed. The cops could have gathered evidence from all the crime scenes and talked with the employees themselves. Considering how much information you have on this topic why have you not helped these cops?

The people you are referring to are good people unlike you. I hope you know where you are going. Leave it to a disgruntled employee to slander and spread false allegations about their former employer. You are a disgusting human being. You should be ashamed of yourself for spreading filth like that. I do know you are a criminal it’s called Defamation of Character and it’s a crime. But you don’t have too worry, the local cops don’t understand laws like that. I hope the locals make the rest of your stay here a living hell. Man, I thought my neighbor was an AH, but you take the cake.

Click on the number to destroy it. Clickhere:http://flash.abunawaf.
com/2005/12/game33.swf

[18 hour evacuation reality]  When not living on Big Pine I live at the end of a 20 mile long island (yes off New Jersey) with one bridge.  Our bridge is in the middle of the island so we only need to drive 10 miles to get to it.  The estimated evacuation time for our 20 miles of sand is 48+ hours.  I want some of whatever Tom Willi is smoking so at least I'll enjoy riding out the storm if I ever get caught on BPK when a hurricane hits.

This is Victoria’s secret.

[Should mountain climbers pay for rescue] If you are driving down US1 and to avoid hitting a key deer you hit a telephone pole and knock out all service in the area and are bleeding from a main artery, the EM's take you to the hospital, the doctors saves your life and you don't have medical coverage so you send the hospital $5.00 a month for ever to pay off your $30,000 bill.  You also have to pay for the telephone pole and you have no car. Maybe you think the deer should pay?

[Fast food of cartooning] I always thought that Hanna and Barbera should be shot for what they did to animated cartoons.  Compare the primitive stuff they popularized with the earlier Disney stuff, and even with Mighty Mouse, Bugs Bunny, and the Road Runner cartoon era and you’ll see what I mean.

[German Shepard] I agree with the poster who said yesterday that he wouldn’t go if he couldn’t take his best friend. I see ads in the paper all the time saying that and I just can’t imagine moving without my pets. I guess some people just have different priorities.

I say we vote the deported Hungarian back on the Island.

That blowfish story will stay with me a long time.  What a cool thing to see!  Thanks for sharing, really.

How could you love your dog and leave him behind? An adult male dog has little or no chance of getting adopted at the pound. Death is in store for him.

[Screw Top Bottle] I say, get the cork out of your butt.

Hello Key Deer Hearts! Hungarian cuisine is the topic. I covered the Gulásh the other day. A funny thing transpired a while back when a young friend of mine approached me, he said that he had a problem. “Go head and tell me” said I. "Uncle Imre (I'm not his uncle, but young people call older persons uncle or aunty depending on gender) I have a chance to go to Tampa, Fl. for a year to work for a...Long Winded Tomes

Christmas may not fit on the jar, but it should fit on the truck.  But I love it anyway!

Beware of the Big Pine Shopping Center parking lot. Cars are being broken into and laptops, briefcases and other non-cash valuables are being targeted. The incidents seem to “coordinated and timed” by spotters. Start locking your doors and keep alert to your surroundings.

If everyone could just do the speed limit that would be great.

Well respected growth manager Ty Symroski resigned yesterday and gave a very vague reason which he is entitled to. One has to wonder is it because of the selected not elected mayor wanting to consolidate power or the disgust with the 18 hr evacuation time controversy and alleged nefarious motives.

Nah, no such thing as too many Christmas lights.  Not possible.

Ty Symroski resigned from the County Planning board. He is a good and fair man. It looks like he couldn’t work well with the County Administrator.

Good grief, was that a real photo of Miss Teen USA?  She looks about to burst.

[Keep Christ in Christmas] X is the Greek symbol for Christ.

Why drive in heaven?] My guess is if driving is your idea of Heaven then that's what you get to do, providing you qualify on the entry exam.

The reports from Hungary are fascinating.  Maybe the gov’t would be interested in hiring this man to come give "don't do it" talks to illegals here.  Probably have to tape them and make them available in some anonymous way.  If nothing else his words make me more appreciative of what we have.

Christmas delivery may be a little late this year.

For at least the past year, drivers on Big Pine and No Name Keys have had a free pass to drive as fast and recklessly as they want since there's been no traffic enforcement. Instead of the 25 to 30 speed limits on Wilder and Key Deer, the norm is 45 to 50, with many vehicles zooming around at 60. I work about 70 hours a week, but somehow taking an extra minute to go to and from my house doesn't seem too much to ask on roads shared by wildlife, children, pedestrians, and bicycles. Maybe some of the law enforcement officers on US1 could branch out and patrol our neighborhood streets a little more.

[Least Competent People]  Noel Methot, 24, was cited for inattentive driving after her car wound up half-submerged in a pond near downtown Orlando, Fla. She was driving down a street but apparently missed the signs warning of the end of the road, and according to witnesses, the most likely reason for that was that she was arguing loudly with her boyfriend over her cell phone. The car went airborne about 20 or 30 feet before splashdown, but Methot was not seriously hurt.

It seems that the big hearted Sloan Bashinsky has had a shot of reality. He expected trailer trash to get off their asses, stop whining to one another and to actually do something to help themselves. Mr Bashinsky paid for transportation for the residents of Seahorse to go see Commissioner Spehar to voice their concerns, but no one went.

People become trailer trash because they are losers to begin with (you don’t actually need a trailer to be trash, but it helps). Generally, trailer trash blame everyone else but themselves for their condition, but they will seldom lift a finger to help themselves.

[Joy stick replacing steering wheel] Joy sticks have been used on big ships for years. A few years ago they started appearing on smaller boats also.

My friend sold his house and boat, moved to Costa Rica, married a foxy lady, got divorced, lost everything and was sitting in an American owned bar with three other expats: All four of them had the same identical story! It's not all that it's cracked up to be.

The deadline for publishing is 6am

Wednesday December 20, 2005

Tuesday December 19, 2006

It looks like Tom Willi is taking a beating in all the publications about his phony 18 hour hurricane evacuation dream.

When you’re in a powerful public position you are mostly courted by businessmen and developers--all wanting something. These special interests can fill the administrator's heads with commercial logic and after awhile he starts to believe that's what everyone wants. Politicians sometimes fail to realize what the general population wants.

Most of the Monroe County general population doesn’t want any more development. We need leaders who will reflect our wishes and not the wishes of special interests. The only reason to artificially lower the evacuation time is to allow more development in the Keys. Can you think of any other reason?

What two great stories from the Hungarian. I read each one with fascination. The deportation story was really tragic. My husband is from Europe and is in the process of getting his citizenship. After reading that story, I’m sure he wont procrastinate any longer.

Joseph Barbera, an innovator of animation who teamed with William Hanna to give generations of young television viewers a pantheon of beloved characters, including Tom and Jerry, Yogi Bear, Huckleberry Hound and the Flintstones, died yesterday at his home in Los Angeles. He was 95.

If mountain climbers are found alive do they have to pay for their rescue costs? After all, they caused all their problems themselves at the expense of the taxpayer.

Friday, December 22. How about an acoustic evening with Howard and a smaller Mile Marker 24 band at the Sugarloaf KOA Resort in the fabulous Florida Keys at mile marker 20.  The fun kicks off at 7:00 PM

This is to the dude who's moving to Costa Rica.  1) You'll be sorry.  2) You'll be back.  3) You'll end up with an over weight American housewife after all the prostitutes roll you over.  I sincerely hope you re-think what you're doing.  You could always rent before putting down roots.  The run on Costa Rica is over and, people are going to Belize and that run is almost over.  Here in America, it is a buyer’s market and not time to sell.  Maybe you could like a normal sized woman who doesn't parade around in a thong and has a good heart and a crush on you. 

Dear Bill (Loewy), It is with a great deal of regret that I ask you to return the unused part of the $10,000 I gave to you for you to use for the legal defense of people living at Seahorse . . .Sloan's Space

About 2 weeks ago I went to the SPCA Dog expo in Key West and got my puppy’s  photo taken with Santa. The girl’s printer was giving her problems so I gave her my number and where she could drop off the photo. Well, no photo and no call. Granted it was only $7.00, but come on, I would really like the photo. Has this happened to anyone else? Or does anyone have her name and number

Where the hell are Mike and Possum?

I was moved by the story of the man who was deported to Hungary. What a fascinating story—and well told. I assume the Brief History of Hungary was authored by the same person. I enjoyed that as well. I only remember Hungary from the 1956 revolution and how people were fighting tanks with rocks and Molotov cocktails. How terrible to lose one’s freedoms.

I know that most of you could care less about Hungary. I could give a shit less too, if I was where you all are.

[Seagull/puffer incident] That was an amazing story, but I saw something similar yet stranger at one of the local hangouts on Ramrod last Friday. A huge woman had evidently taken too big a bite out of her cheeseburger and was choking. One guy attempted to perform the Heimlich maneuver but couldn't get his arms all the way around her. Another man got in front of her, grabbed the other guy's hands and the two of them squeezed her between them. After a couple of hard slamming squeezes, she hacked up a hunk of burger, and then went back to her meal. She didn't even say thanks.

There's a great country western song titled " Are there Hummers in heaven?" Why do you need to drive in Heaven? I don’t know.

2,177. That's the number of GIF pictures I have collected from this site. And people tell me to get a life!

I am a former employee of the woman complaining about cops not solving the Summerland / Cudjoe burglaries.  I'm all for publicizing police screw ups, when they actually screw up.  But, it burns me up to see this hypocrite woman bashing cops who had their hands tied and did nothing wrong.  She pointed out that she is not a criminal.  Yet, her brain is so fried, she can barely stand still.  She and her husband smoke tons of pot.  In fact, her husband used to smuggle pot.  Also, she has been getting away with serving hard liquor on her beer and wine license since she opened.  Regular customers just have to know how to ask for it.  Maybe if she would have been more helpful to the police instead of covering up the truth about her employees and the door she left unlocked on her building, her case would be solved.

If her theory is correct that cops are responding to her posts, I'm sure they're reading this.  To the 5-0, take a good took around the kitchen area and lounge area after closing.  The smell may give you the munchies...hint, hint.  I'm sure you know who and where I'm talking about. 

I don't watch Montel or Jerry or Oprah.  I won't listen to Dr. Laura.  I groaned when I saw the announcement of Deer Abby, but at least it requires a separate click to see it.  I was curious about all the positive feedback, though, and decided to try it out.  Though I won't be a regular reader, the answers I read convinced me this is an intelligent, sensible person with a sense of humor.  No wonder it's a hit.  I'm sure your popularity will continue, even without my attendance.  I just can't stand watching/listening to people creating and then airing their personal miseries.

[Extremists can’t be destroyed] Has nothing to do with any President. It is a religious war to gain back face, and reclaim lands the Rags lost 2000 years ago and again 500 years ago. Oil is just a tool they are using. They have a very sick civil war going on and are killing themselves off for power. They will kill us all unless we shoot first. They will give no quarter...bet on it!

I am looking for the Wooden Spoon bread book by Marilyn Moore. Call Al 872-8985

Turn on “manic mode” and “reproduce”. Virtual Bubble Wrap by =zacthetoad on deviantART

[unedited]? What the hell was he saying?

Reading about the pot smoking UPS guys made me mad.   I'm out! What UPS guys? What park? What time?

Hey, wine smeller, lighten up. Big Pecker wine has a screw on top. Get it?  He, he, he (or should I say, “Ho, ho, ho).

Friday and Saturday, Dec 22nd and 23rd Injade, will be rocking the house at Virgilios, 524 Duval St. Showtime 9:30pm. For more information call 305-296-8118. Come by for some fine tasting Martinis, delicious food, and great sounding live music.

The only way they found they could sell the pumpkin pizza was placing mud crap next to it.

[German Shepard] Don't get the idea I’m judging you, but there's now way I would move anywhere they wouldn't take my best friend.

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

[re-covering chairs] Bonita at Land and Sea could do as great a job on your chairs as she did on mine, if she isn't too busy to take the job. Ask her 872-3138 or drop by. Her shop is next door to the old NAPA store.

We had a long-haired black cat turned into the shelter that had an address and phone number on its collar.  The phone has been disconnected and the person who owns the cat no longer lives there, but I was able to get her name from one of the other residents.  If anyone knows how to contact April Clay who used to live on Simonton Street in Key West, please let us know.

[Big Pecker Wine] Lighten up wine cork expert. I think the poster was making a funny with the Big Pecker Wine and screw comment.

The new Benz is different. No steering wheel! You drive it with a joystick. No pedals either. Can you drive with a joystick? Your kids and grandkids probably can. The influence of video games in our lives has really arrived, wouldn't you say?

I would like to see a screw top bottle of wine last even 10 years. Swill is what you will get.  Cork is what it is. That's why it's such a superior product.  Screw tops are used to increase profits and that is all they are good for.  So tell the truth for once, ok?

[What was a blow fish doing in 1100 feet of water 20 miles offshore?] Maybe a Seagull carried it there!

To the person who inquired about covering 4 dining room chairs, if you mean just recovering the seats, I have done it on mine and would be happy to help you.  Just reply here and then we will exchange email addresses.

It’s great news to hear that hurricane evacuation times have been cut to 18 hours by assuming that all visitors and mobile home residents would be off the roads and safely housed in shelters on the mainland by the time the rest of us hit the road. But why not extend this logic: Assuming that homeowners, renters, boaters and military had already evacuated, we could cut the evacuation time even more, maybe to four hours or so.

$35 billion dollars is the estimated value of marijuana grown in the States. It is the top money crop in at least a dozen states.

[Putting money in the Mike truck jar] Stop being so petty, Xmas is probably easier to fit on the truck. I don't know too many people that have more Christmas spirit than Mike.

That Hungarian dude is pretty cool. I say we repatriate him.

[It is the Polish, Russian, Czech and Haitian immigrants who keep this place going]  There just happens to be a few of us Americans also working here.

[Do you still work at Scotty's?] Now, that post is definitely not from around here!

[Missing package] If you find the Key deer ate that package, boy won't your face be red?

[Keep Christ in Christmas]  This is Mike with the Christmas truck. I just wanted to let you know that I do believe in Christ and I do not take Christ out of Christmas. I teach my kids about it and have spent a lot of my childhood in church and Sunday school.

On a better note, thanks to all that have helped and all that were out on Friday and Sunday night to see the fire trucks and Santa.

I hope everyone has a great Chirst-mas.

Nobody knows how to read the stop signs at the intersection of Linda and Loma streets on Big Pine. 

Scenes Living Painting 1

Tuesday December 19, 2006

Monday December 18, 2006

Tom Willi wasn't exactly honest in his reply.  After Hurricane Dennis last year, he did demand to be paid double-time. We haven't forgotten that. 

My husband, who also works for the county, worked mandatory 12 hour shifts for a solid week following every hurricane last year (following the minimum 24 hours he worked during the actual storms).  The hardest one was Wilma, where he spent his days helping other people, but couldn't get to his own house for over a week.  He had no choice.  He was not allowed to go home.  Do you think he was even paid overtime (time and 1/2) for all the extra hours he worked?  Nope.  He was given something called "comp time" by an employer who cares little for his people.  By the time he was able to use that "comp time," mold already set in.  We could've used the extra money he should've gotten for working those hours.  What's fair is fair, Tom.  Let’s give the money to the people who really work for it and need it.

[Coldwell Banker’s lights] Someone wrote that they go to the boat parade (because they like the lights), but criticized buildings for having too many lights. What a fool!

How come no one has mentioned last week’s mug shot of a certain someone of Cay Clubs?  I forget, are we allowed to put them on here or no? (Ed: I don’t remember. I think it’s all right to publish a mug shot it we publish the submitter’s email address along with it. Is that what the Decency Police recommended?)

I want to read more fish stories. Speaking of fish, I sure liked that photo of the big kingfish last week.

We went to "Key Deer Bar BQ" for breakfast and it was very good.  Friendly people, good service and good food -- what more could a man ask for? They open at 7 AM for the early risers like us and that makes things perfect.

German Shepard.  An absolutely gorgeous Solid Black, 5 yr old German Shepard. Weighs about 100lb. He is full blooded Shepard, bred by and purchased from a Vet in Ft. Worth Texas, but the litter was never papered. He has been with me since he was 10 wks old. He is very well behaved, good with children and raised with a cat. He loves to go fishing with you and watches the water intensely until he hears the drag go off, then he alerts you with a bark. I have to move from the Keys and cannot take him to my new home. I will give him free of charge to a worthy home. I could not stand the thought of him going to the pound. He is not neutered. If interested, please call Debbie or Jimmy at 872-3905. Classified Ads>Pets

Does this person who commented about "Big Pecker Wine" know anything about wine or wine corking? Natural cork is now in a shortage in the world, that is why many a winery has switched to "Synthetic" cork or in the case of "Big Pecker" a screw top.
There is no shame in this, nor does it make the true wine drinker (not the wino who must have wrote the comment) shy away from the vineyard or, God forbid, try something new and support one who is trying to make a go of it here in the Keys.

Keep up the good work Parrotdise!

Does anyone want to sell the book, Bubba Justice in Key West, Pooping on the Public In Paradise, by Jan and Hobart Burch?  Please contact me at UltimateSlayer@comcast.net

Give me a hummer, honey.

Hungarian History in a Nutshell. Nationalism is fine and well in Hungary. The Hungarians are very proud people. I just do not know what the hell are they proud of?

They lost almost every war they ever fought. After the kings of the house of Árpád died out, they were always occupied by a foreign power. The country was used for centuries as a thoroughfare for armies intent on conquest.

In the XIV century the hordes of Genghis Kahn laid such a waste to the country, that after the occupation king Béla had to import people, Poles, Slovaks, Ukrans, and Dachians, to populate the country. There was no Mexicans back then...Long Winded Tomes

I don't know if this is the same puffer fish, but my sister told me that the other day she was going over the 7-mile bridge and noticed something flopping around on the pavement.  As she approached the little critter, she realized it was a puffer fish.  She wanted to stop and throw him over but the traffic was too busy.  Who knows, maybe he made it (down a drain hole) or someone ended up with a flat tire?

What the heck?  I forgot who to give Kudos to and what I was going to “whine” about. Was it something I dreamed, something I ate, or was it the last beer last night at Don’s? Next time I’ll let you know.

I am amazed at how dumb the Democrats are.  It looks as if their presidential candidates are going to be Hillary or that skinny black fellow named Barak (sounds like a beer belch).  If the Republicans come up with a normal looking white male, even one with a low IQ, then they will again win the presidency. Wake up Dems, or you will be out in the cold once again.

[Your Honor, my client is an idiot] Washington, D.C., council member (and former mayor) Marion Barry was charged in September with DUI and other vehicle violations but told The Washington Post that authorities were just trying to "embarrass and discredit" him.

The problem with cops in the Keys is this. There are too many lousy ones. That is why they are not there when you need them and that's why they take so long to answer a call. I do find it funny when people say if you obey the law you are fine. The cops in the Keys don't know the law and will take away or try to take away your civil rights. Some of them may be nice others are (censored). Either way they aren't too bright or fair.

[This is to Mrs. Goodwrench] You know who you are. Do you still work at Scotty's? I helped you out when you were in the shit. How about paying back the bucks you owe me. You must have gotten it together by now, it has been a long time.

 I lived in Keansburg, NJ for 35 years. I loved it there and I think it’s nicer then it is here. Well, it was back in the day.  Don’t knock someone’s town.

I see someone wrote in pointing out that they wish everyone would honor Hanukkah.  This posting was written on a Saturday.  If the author is a true Orthodox Jew why was an electric device like a computer even turned on in your presence on the Sabbath?

Everyone is so concerned with shipping the illegal immigrants out of the Keys.  It is troubling that many of the Polish, Russian, Czech and Haitian immigrants who come over here and work their ass off are being sent home because they are illegal, but all the lazy Cubans become legal the second they get off the raft and step on dry ground.  The hard working immigrants get off the boat and look for a job while the Cubans get off the raft and look for the welfare office.  Look at the work force in the Keys.  It is the Polish, Russian, Czech and Haitian immigrants who keep this place going.

While are you people too scared to deal with life’s problems? Praise the number of cops we have down here. Remember KWPD was indicted under R.I.C.O. laws once. And due to the cost of living down here all agencies are not getting the best officers for the money. It’s just a matter of time till the next big law enforcement scandal  rocks the Keys. Bubba cops at least kept the pot prices cheap in the 70s and 80s.

Someone had their package stolen (Yes, most likely stolen, a ‘confirmed delivery’ package is called that for a reason) and posted on the web site because they're angry, upset, and need to vent.  They obviously don't want it to happen to anyone else either.  What is so pathetic in the other person's life that they have to write the nasty post that they did criticizing the person who had their package stolen? 

Who are we to judge what the contents of that package meant to the person?  You obviously don't have a sensitive bone in your body if you're telling them to go to Key West to replace the contents.  Didn't you read the whole post?  The last thing this person needs is to read your uncaring remarks.  I beg you to find something else to do with your time. 

By the way, I don't know the person who had the package go missing but I do feel bad for them.  It's too bad there are people out there who think they can just help themselves to things that don't belong to them.

I was thinking about putting money in the Mike truck jar until I saw that he took Christ out of Christmas. I think it's time to get back to the real reason for Christmas.    Remember it's not xmas!

I love the analogy the person who said there are less cops in Brooklyn and more Negros.  I am from an area up north where there is a lesser police presence and a higher Negro presence.  One of the main reasons I moved here was when 3 Negros robbed my home and there were not enough police to answer the call on time.  My belongings were turning up in pawn shops for about a year.  Some of it was returned, but other things, like my grandfather's military flag from his coffin, were not.  How many crack rocks did Tyron get for selling my dad's medals from World War II?  Anyone who is angry about a large law enforcement body on our island should look at the low crime rate.  Better yet, move to Harlem and see if you oppose a large police force.

[great idea on Operation Wet Back] Imagine that, enforcing the law, what a concept! You elected two Ts to Congress: democrappers 2Ts = terrorism and taxes. Democrappin all the way. Look how Clinton handled it. What was “I didn’t know what ‘is’ is” or was he under his desk with the new shop vac? Deport the illegals. I ain’t prejudice, I hate everyone the same. I didn’t like them when I did like them.

                     
[Stealing their package] I believe you missed the point. The items in that package were very special. I know because I have had my son serve in the same war zone and I had ordered similar items. The person who stole the package was flat out wrong regardless of what was in it and once he/she saw what the package contained could have returned it. Aside from that, wishing someone a 'Merry Christmas” never goes out of style. And maybe, just maybe, it was a sincere wish.  

What is the best way to handle a dog left on a screened porch for hours at a time that is barking and whining the whole time?  Is there a barking dog ordinance in Monroe County or an Animal Control officer?  Are they any good? 

Naturally, the dog is unhappy at being left there for long periods of time.  We are pretty tired of the noise that often starts early in the morning. We considered talking to the tenants, but they don’t look like the type that would get it.

[Define “nicely done lights”] I, for one, like what Coldwell Banker has done with their decorations. Why go to a boat parade if you don't like Christmas decorations?

We live in the woods and last night we could hear all the fire trucks with their sirens blaring and jingle bells jingling going up and down Key Deer Blvd. Once we figured out that our house wasn't burning down and they were just celebrating Christmas we wanted to join in. Merry Christmas to all.

I appreciate the police presence in the Keys, however, after finding a key deer doe in my front yard with two broken hind legs caused by some coward that hit her and ran, I have to wonder why our police don't spend some time on Wilder Rd. and Key Deer Blvd. Stop signs are a joke (or drivers can't read them). I'm constantly tail-gated and often flipped off for doing the speed limit. I’ve had people pass me going so fast I checked to see if I was in reverse. A little enforcement on these roads would fatten up the county coffers.

[Tales from the deep] This Wahoo was taken in approximately 1100 feet of water (that’s about 20 miles offshore). It was trying to eat a Porcupine fish (a type of blow fish). The Wahoo could not bite the fully inflated blow fish. It was very mad and all "lit" up. The Porcupine fish would be hit from the bottom and knocked high out of the water, but the" Who" could not get its mouth around any part of the fish. After watching this for a few minutes I was able to pitch a bait near the fish. He was so worked up on that blow fish that he would have eaten a shoe.  What was a blow fish doing in 1100 feet of water 20 miles offshore?

OK, let's play the old game of smear the queer!  The person writing in about the confirmed package made a great Budweiser, “here's to you” comment. Loved it!  Then we have the other side that will argue with anyone that has a cute anecdote, who can go to Key West themselves to get some yellow ribbon, but then again, you may have been the recipient of such said ribbon so you do not have to go anywhere but your neighbor’s mailbox.(?)

[As a neutral reader] The man that was saying there are way too many policemen in the Keys has the comments against his position making up crazy scenarios about cars in flames and other insane "fairy tales" and its starting to make them look like fools. He wins and should just let it drop. Take the high road, you won.

Someone wrote: "What if you were in an accident and needed that cop top save your sorry ass?" That’s OK, I served in this country’s military for 6 years to keep his sorry ass free. Nice social skills, Einstein.

Deadline for submissions to BigPineKey.com is 6am

Monday December 18, 2006

Sunday December 17, 2007

This is the day to light the second candle of the menorah celebrating Hannukkah, the Festival of Lights, which marks the victory of a small Jewish army’s victory over the Syrian empire, capturing their temple back and the miracle that kept the Eternal Flame lit for eight days with only enough fuel to light it for one day (until they could procure more fuel).

[Hungary] I was fascinated by that post, but I would like to know if the writer is a Hungarian national and had to return to that country because his visa expired?

[Seagull/puffer incident] That must have been something to see! Sounds like it would have made a great animated cartoon in the "Tom & Jerry" milieu.

[Unedited] give iraq to al queda let them move in then start that iraq to glass trick  or maybe the idea was to get them their in the first place and have the iraqies killem  its called a kill zone bush is  alot smarter than you think ,rather the fantastic military we have  all volunteer  anything whorth while is not easy killer plan go into iraq pull in the enemy  and shred them kill zone of your choice is what you want  they are going for it i say 200000 more troops no mercy to terrorists nuff said  full shred they will get the message  back soon it aint over till its over

[Restricting calories slows aging] About seventy years ago scientists discovered that when animals were forced to live on 30 to 40 percent fewer calories than they normally would eat, they became resistant to most age-relates diseases—cancer, heart disease, diabetes, Alzheimer’s—and live 30 to 50 percent longer. So let’s not help the starving people of the world—it’s for their own good!

The editor who conceived the new OJ book was fired for having such a bad idea.

Telephone lines were down in Eden Pines until Tuesday night.  Here are some telly tricks I learned and I would like to share. 
Call Forwarding to your cell phone so you can sleep-in.  Your landline will ring once, telling you a call is forwarded.  Costs about $2 extra a month. Sometimes the one-ring wakes us, so I take the rotary phone off the hook. 

Preferred Call Forwarding. For another $2 a month you may forward your calls (or unwanted calls) to any number  your heart desires. Again, your landline will ring once, telling you some loser is being forwarded to another number.  There were some undesirables which kept ringing me and subsequently were living in voice mail land with out call backs and did not get the hint.  So, these people were Preferred Call Forwarded to the trash man,  and later on to a prayer line. One dimwit was so dumb that it called for days and days telling me my line was messed up when really it was the dimwit who was messed-up.

So the moral of the story is if a person does not return your call in a day or three they do not want to talk you ever again. While many people now have no land line, we are enjoying incoming land line calls to the cell and also received calls during Wilma because of Call Forwarding.

If there are too many cops in the Keys how come there’s still never one around when you need one?

The Methodists church on Key Deer Blvd announced that they are holding a Cantata. Is that like a Christian square dance?

To the person who said if "you don’t break the law you don’t have to worry” I agree, the vast majority of us do follow the law, thus the overkill.  Thanks for taking my side.

Finally Marathon has its own message board. Well, actually it's a Web cam at the Overseas Lounge with a chat room on the same screen. They have a computer at the end of the bar. The camera is mounted on a deer's head and the mike is so sensitive you can eavesdrop on bar conversations. At night when a band is playing, you can even request songs online. It is up 24/7 and lots of out-of-towners drop by. Cool. http://overseaslounge.camstreams.com/

[More bleach in the gene pool] Sheboygan, Wis. In November, police arrested Leah Jerolimek, 21, and charged her with trying to pass a counterfeit $20 bill at a gas station, even though the bill (made with a computer and printer) was blank on the back.

I can only imagine the awful Christmas Americans must have had in 1941 after Pearl Harbor was attacked just a few weeks earlier. After Wilma last year we barely celebrated the holiday at all because we were so defeated.

Merry Christmas!  Angus the Elf. http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=f5848e4977b46391373fa4cG06121608

Here is something to pass around. I did not know this until it was pointed out to me. Back during the great depression, President Herbert Hoover ordered the deportation of all illegal aliens in order to make jobs available to American citizens that desperately needed work.

And then again in 1954, President Dwight D. Eisenhower deported 1.3 million Mexican nationals (called operation "Wetback") in order that returning American WW II. and Korean War veterans had better chances at jobs. It took two years, but they deported them all. If they could deport the illegals back then, they sure as hell can do it today!

If you have any doubts about the veracity of this information, just type Operation Wetback into your favorite search engine and confirm it for yourself.

Wow, baby dolphins!  I took my kids to Dolphin Research Center on Grassy Key yesterday and they have three babies.  They had a free presentation about moms and babies, too.  Kudos.

[Ah, Big Pine Key, the Keansburg of Florida] Hey, I've been to Keansburg, NJ.  It’s horrible! Big Pine is nothing like it. Eeeww.

The Redneck Reindeer

Cop Count: Overkill? If you were in a bad accident and needed one of those cops fast, maybe even to risk his life to pull your sorry ass out of the burning car, I don't think you would be complaining about overkill.

This is the perfect stocking stuffer, so to speak. This is off the cuff, (whisper) but I heard that it's at the top of the list for the Joisy girls and Brittany Spears.  COMMANDOS - Home

Merry Christmas all you Big Opine Keysters!

Many thanks for the info on Hungary.  It's good for us to hear how good our lives here really are.  Stay safe.

[big black dog at the Looe Key Tiki?]  That's nothing, I have seen a whole herd of hogs running loose at the Bovine Palace and they can get real mean in a hurry, especially if you don't feed them.

From Oak Hill, Fl (about 30 miles north of the Kennedy Space Center) design engineer Andrew Arigema tracked the shuttle and recorded a four minute time exposure of the exhaust plume along Discovery's path. At the upper left, the end of the drifting plume is Alnitak, Alnilam, and Mintaka in a vertical line, the belt stars of Orion. To the right of the belt stars, the pinkish jewel in Orion's sword is not a star at all, but the great Orion Nebula. Still farther to the right, at the foot of the hunter, lies Rigel, the brightest star in view. --from Astronomy Picture of the Day

This comment is directed to the individual complaining about the big black dog running loose at the Tiki Bar. I would rather be in the company of the big black friendly dog running loose at the Tiki  Bar than be at Boondocks in the company of the owners and manager of  Boondocks running loose all the time. --Outerbank@aol.com

Q - When you apply for Welfare in Mexico what does the Government give you?
A - A map to the United States

The Keys surely have changed when people start complaining about a cool loose dog at an open air tiki bar. That's one of the reasons I came down here 20 years ago-- listening to and looking for Kokomo.

What an angry person to write that awful posting about someone stealing their package. Then to say, “Merry Christmas” as if anyone would think they actually could mean those words!
(?)Is it possible that someone has in by mistake?  Go to Key West and buy some yellow ribbons to decorate your tree it will mean the same if not more.  Wow, get a grip!

I think the person counting cops is exaggerating just a bit.  He screwed up by saying there was a DOT Officer in his count.  For the past couple weeks, the only DOT officer assigned to the Keys has been at the Tavernier scale.  By the way, who drives around counting cops?  This person either has no life, or is hiding from them for some reason. 

You really have to wonder what kind of people complain about things like this.  I've noticed that the complainers, many of which seem to be the same person, have been quick to point out they are not criminals themselves.  But, I think common sense says otherwise. 

As for me, I enjoy living in a safe town.  If it wasn't for these cops, there would be more Sandmans (burglars) around.  If these dopers and drunks are complaining about cops; the cops must be doing their jobs right.

I guess our 12/15 "Redneck Christmas decoration" on the license plate was not from the south. “Live Free or Die" is the official motto of New Hampshire, adopted by the General Court in 1945.

[A report from Hungary] Peace, Love and Happy Holidays. PS I love goulash...muah!

[Today’s camera count]  I went to the bank today in Marathon.  I spent 30 minutes inside.  I counted three cameras at the entrance (two of which were focused on others), one camera at the desk, and outside there was a DOT camera focused on a small truck. 

30 minutes divided by five means one camera every 6 minutes on me.   Subtract the restrooms where they can't watch me and that's one camera on me every minute. Overkill do you think?   How am I supposed to rob the place, let alone speed away with a cop every 15 miles?  Man, it's so hard to lead a life of crime down here.  I know, let's blame the cops for oppressing me.

You are off base on your information.  The County Commission adopted a compensation policy for county employees paying a maximum of double time and one-half during emergency activations.  I recommended the changes to the existing policy with the support of Commissioner McCoy.  The County Attorney and County Administrator are not eligible for the benefit.  I have never been compensated for any hurricane related overtime as an employee of Monroe County... Tom Willi   

I was so let down when the weather canceled the lighted boat parade. I go every year and I love it.  It will take place today for anyone who wants to go back down to Key West to see it.  I enjoy the lighted boats.
Living alone, I don't bother to put up a Christmas tree so this gives me an opportunity to see some nice lights.  Nicely done lights are great to set the mood for the holiday season.  Some of the houses in Key West just go way overboard and get gaudy as hell.  I can't believe how much overkill the real estate place here on Big Pine has every year.  Guys, moderation beats overkill every time.  I feel like I am in Miami every time I drive to the Post office each night to pick up my mail.

Let's have fun and tell what's the truth about Big Pine Key.

I love the blowfish story and it seriously rates as the best fish story of the year!  I also have a fish story and if anyone wants to start a  fish story of the year contest--let's go!

[Let others take it away] When I see a hurt bird or animal on a road, I immediately hit my “flashers” so that my flashing lights will warn other drivers. Then I come to as slow a stop as I can--right near the critter so as to prevent other cars from hitting it. I have even parked across the two lanes of US 1 to stop traffic.  I always carry a towel in my car, and I use this to capture the animal.  Most drivers understand and wait patiently. As for the others, they don't care and neither do I about them.

It has been a few months since I have read this page.  I missed it but see it hasn't changed.  The hot topics seem to be: How Marathon got it's name, too many police on the road, terrorists , Linda at The Pub and Hungry.  My feeling, not that anyone cares, are as follows.  Marathon, it has been named for many years and is fine.  Unless they are going to change the name why do we need to discuss it?  Police numbers, growing up in Brooklyn we had less police per capita and more blacks per capita.  The Keys have more police per capita and less blacks per capita.  Why change it?  Terrorists, cut off their balls and let them bleed to death.  Linda, she is a great person and a great member of our community.  Let the jerks knocking her live in Brooklyn with the blacks then cut off their balls with the terrorists.  Hungry, I don't plan to move to Hungry or even visit there.  I don't care.  Oh well, there is my two cents.  I love this website.

Lost: 2 dogs. White with brown spots. German Shorthair Pointers, male and female. They got loose in the Eden Pines area and are very friendly. Please call 228-343-3346.

[What is with the big black dog]  Me thinks you are the problem and not the dog.  Socialization is a positive aspect for all animals including you. The Keys attitude was here way before you. 

The US 1 radio auction helped everyone as there were some great deals. It’s purpose was to promote local businesses.

Yes, we do have a very high police presence in The Keys.  We also have a very low crime rate.  One of the things I love the most about living here is the low pressure, low crime lifestyle.  If a high police presence is going to allow me to continue not having to lock my doors at home bring a few dozen more cops in.

Sunday December 17, 2007

Saturday December 16, 2006

Though the bottom-feeding slug that this is directed to likely isn't able to read , I'd still like to post this as a "heads up" to my fellow Piners whose mail carrier might be delivering those holiday packages and leaving them out in the open, on or near your mailbox. 
 

I'd like to tell the loser who stole my confirmed-delivered package just what the value of its contents were to me.  Those yellow ribbons?  Those were to be an addition to my holiday decorations as a way to honor my loved one who is serving his country overseas this Christmas.  That pin with a star and a yellow bow?  It's called a service-ribbon pin and similarly, represents a way to honor someone close to me who is serving active duty, far from home, during a time of conflict.  The few other items in the package were of a similar vein and really, the monetary value is nothing to me, which I'm sure is the value that this package had for you once you figured out what was inside.  If you'd had an ounce of respect, you might have returned it, but then again, you stole it in the first place and that speaks for itself as to what type of person you are.  Your karma will catch up with you.  My only wish is that I could be there to see it.  So Merry Christmas to you, proud winner of the Asshole of the Month award.  My next delivery is to be an Ex-Lax fruitcake.  Please steal that.

[Japanese in WWII] The Japanese were all in one place supporting aggression and they had a regular army for us to attack. Terrorists don’t have regular armies and those that want to do us harm are not all in one place. They fight a guerrilla war much like we did in our fight for independence from the British tyrant. Your talk of nuking “them” is foolish because we don’t know where “them” are. Just because they wear a towel on their heads is not justification for killing them. If it is, I’d be ashamed to be an American. And the Japanese weren’t motivated by religion and weren’t religious fanatics as the writer noted. They were motivated by nationalism.

Kudos to the Barometer this week for calling attention to the evacuation sham: “It doesn’t matter how the commission wants to spin the story, 18 hours was never included in the hurricane evacuation process adopted by the county. To say to the Governor that it was, and accept that lie publicly, is fact twisting the likes of which this county hasn’t seen since the claim of weapons of mass destruction under every rock in Iraq.”

Tom Willi’s response was noted, but I do not see how he debunked any myths about lowering evacuation times in order to receive more permits.

Is it now official policy for our elected officials not to respond to their constituent’s emails? DiGennarro and Saunders, are you listening; because I know you’re not responding?

[Police presence in the Keys] The Keys have been under martial law since 1980. You get used to it. And besides, it’s about the safest place in the world for your boat to sink because you’ll have at least five agencies coming to rescue you.

Can anyone tell me if the "great radio auction" today on US 1 radio benefits anything special or is just to generate revenue for the station?   It's always been the "Keys" way to hold auctions to help our neighbors in need; this just seems yet another downward turn for that station.  Sure do miss Gene and Bob.

It is time to party Keys’ style.  Friday, December 22 at 7:00 PM will feature an acoustic evening with Howard and a smaller Mile Marker 24 group at The Sugarloaf KOA Resort at mile marker 20. Then Saturday, December 23 Howard and the Mile Marker 24 Big Band will rock island style at the Looe Key Tiki Bar on Ramrod Key at 7:00 PM. The Big Band includes horns, steel drums, and an old Johnson outboard motor margarita maker that is fired up nightly.   

"The reason the all-American boy prefers beauty over brains is that the all-American boy can see better than he can think." - Farrah Fawcett

[It is bad when all the UPS guys look like Neuman on Seinfeld] It's worse when your postal lady looks like Neuman, only bigger.

Redneck Santa sleigh. (It’s even in front of a trailer.)

It's interesting that Tom Willi is answering our questions.  Here's one for you, Tom, concerning the hurricane evacuation.  You know that triple-time pay you pushed so hard for and got while working during a hurricane last year?  When are you going to push that hard to get the same benefit for all the other county employees who are mandated to stay and work 24/7 during hurricanes?  If someone with your triple-digit salary is entitled to such a bonus, why not the grunts beating the streets who make less than half your salary?  You know, the people who really need it?  Tom, did you know that the Sheriff doesn't even give his men and women overtime when they are forced to stay and work during hurricanes?

MileMarker24 steel guitarist John Rickard made it into Guitar Player Magazine for a second time! Click the link for the online version. http://www.guitarplayer.com/story.asp?sectioncode=2&storycode=16254

[Strong police presence on the roads] I think it's great. Unless you’re doing something wrong you have nothing to worry about.

Come on; when is the last time you saw a fat UPS guy? They have the world’s best diet: You run all day carrying all kinds of packages.

This is fun trying to avoid traffic and snowballs. Use your keyboard’s arrows to move left or right.

Snowball Free-For-All

Big Pecker Wine has a screw on top. He, he, he.

I'm commenting to the person who commented on comments about comments on their comments. It doesn’t even deserve a comment.

[National Geographic Magazine] An archeological team, digging in Washington DC, has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.

[Strong police presence on the roads] Personally, I love it. If I catch it just right in the morning or evening I can ride behind one and drive at least ten miles per hour over the posted speed limit. I figure their leading by example. Aren't they?

[A report from Hungary] There are no hungry Hungarians in Hungary. Food is plentiful and relatively inexpensive. There are many other problems. There are the thieving, lying, corrupt, politicians. Most of them are communists from the old regime, but when the Soviets moved out, they turned their coats and said that now they are socialists. Communists, Socialists; they all should be hung by the neck until dead!

To the person who thinks that there are too many cops in Monroe County. You should be here, my friend, this is a police state. No matter how they try to make it look  to the outside world. How many times have the police stopped you for no reason in Monroe County? Here they do it all the time, "Protect and Serve" is their motto, but they extort and rule. I could get a hefty fine maybe even a jail term for what I wrote. It's against the law to badmouth the authorities. All you weed smokers; you should see what the cops have in store for you here. I was a witness to an arrest of five or six young people (students) smoking in a park. The cops, about eight to ten, pounced on them with batons, beating them unconscious, put hoods on their heads and they were hauled away in cuffs. Shame on you if you are found with a few joints. You are looking at five to six years in the slammer. No TV, bad food, shower once a week.

I could not believe my eyes on Oct. 23rd. 2006 when mounted cops with drawn sabers charged into peaceful protesters. This happened in Budapes.  Oct. 23rd was the 50th anniversary of the 1956 uprising against the communists and the Soviets. Hundreds of thousands of people were celebrating and calling for the resignation of the Prime Minister (a communist) Gyurcsány Ferenc. He refused to step down and ordered the cops to clear the streets. At an earlier government celebration Gov. George Pataki would not shake hands with Gyurcsány. The cops cleared the avenues with utmost brutality, copious use of tear gas and rubber pellets at close range from pump shotguns. Many people were wounded, several lost their sight, sabers caused terrible wounds on arms and heads. Just by God’s grace there were no lives lost.

Hungary is a nice place to visit, but you would not want to live here. I envy every one of you Big Piners. You all live in the best place in the best country in the whole wide world, be glad for it.

Deer Ed. the map you showed is the post WW I map of Hungary. Because of the Treaty of Trianon (thanks to the French) Hungry lost 2/3ds. of its territory and population, we are now a country of a mere 10 million. Be looking for more reports from Hungary, get to know what shit is!

Whishing everyone a Merry Keys Christmas, Love you all.

My dreams last Friday (Dec 14) seemed to be moving me back toward speaking out for these jewels in the sea we call the Keys and home . . .Sloan's Space

What is with the big black dog running loose at the Looe Key Tiki bar while we adults are out having fun? Don't get me wrong, I do love animals, but I thought the Tiki bar was for adults not lose dogs running around. Shouldn’t the big black dog be on a leash instead of having the crowd make room for the big black dog to pass? What is wrong with the management over there? I don't want to be a whiner about this, but has the place gone to the dogs?  I feel this is animal abuse and the big black dog should be on a leash and controlled by it's owner.  This has been going on for a while now, season is almost here and the place is starting to get busy now (since no one goes to Boondocks anymore). I thinks this is a problem and should get under control before some adult trips over the big black dog, gets hurt, then there is a law suit against the Tiki bar, prices go up and us adults from Big Pine and surrounding Keys have no where to go. Leash your dogs in a public place!

[Let others take it away] Please tell people what they should do and who they should call if they hit a bird and then it sits in the middle of Overseas Highway injured.  This is the second time I've seen an injured animal still alive in the road while people just drive over it.  It breaks my heart to see this. 

Norman Schwarzkopf was asked, "Could you forgive the people who created the 9/11 terrorist attack?" Schwarzkopf, "It is up to God to forgive. My job is to arrange the meeting!" Now we know why he is a General.

[Today’s cop count] One trip to Marathon for Christmas shopping  (approximately thirty miles each way): 3 Sheriffs (2 writing tickets at the time), 1 Highway patrol car, 1 DOT vehicle inspecting a small truck.

60 miles divided by 5 (total of enforcement vehicles seen) equals 1 enforcement car every 12 miles. And that’s if you don’t subtract the miles worth of bridges where they can’t sit; which means you could say only 15 miles of actual highway.

Overkill, do you think?

What has happened to our food supply? Today it’s the Olive Garden that is poisoning people following Taco Bell and spinach. “Eat your vegetables”, mom said. “They’re good for you.”

(Ed: Has anyone seen Elle, our Entertainment editor? She’s been missing in action.)

Last evening I pulled over because of oncoming emergency vehicles with lights ablaze. I was concerned because there were so many of them; thinking that it must be one hell of a fire. The only problem was that the fire/rescue trucks were going super slow. I thought it might have been the herb I just smoked, but realized that it was a Christmas parade. I’ve never seen so many lights blinking, flashing and rotating. And in the middle of the whole show was the Christmas Truck all aglow and rocking! Merry Christmas to all.

Woman Explained by Engineers.

[The Final Solution] All this talk about stopping the seeking and killing of terrorists is disgusting.  They are the people who flew aircrafts into New York's best buildings killing countless people in 2001.  Killing them without torturing is too good for them.  Drown a few of them in pig's blood and then send the rest home to spread the word about how people like them are dealt with in America.  The terrorist acts will greatly decrease and eventually end that way.

Saturday December 16, 2006

Friday December 15, 2006

I’ve got to share a strange event that happened to me today fishing on my bay bridge. I feel compelled. It was a National Geographic  moment.

I caught  many fish and then snagged a small puffer fish. While extracting the hook he went to defense mode and inflated to about the size of a softball. When I tossed him back he expelled the air an went back to his 4 inch slender self. As soon as he hit the water he dove for the protection of the bottom, but before he got to safety a seagull swooped down and inhaled him. At about 80ft above sea level the puffer re-inflated and the seagull started flailing and crashed back into the sea.  I’m not sure if it was the aerodynamics or if he was just choking. In any case, after he made several head splashes in the water the puffer deflated again and escaped. The gull shook it's head for about 30 seconds then took off squawking loudly. This all happened right in front of me. I don't speak seagulese but I think he was saying, “What the f**k just happened here?”

3,300 Seminole Indians bought the entire Hard Rock Franchise worth billions of dollars. No comment.

[Deer Corridor] I was on my way to work this morning and saw that not only the outside rolling gate was wide open but so was the inside backup gates in the deer corridor. I guess a multi-million dollar deer protection is only as strong as it's weakest link--the dipshit who left them open.

I have taken college courses to meet women, but most of Keys ladies there were overweight housewives bored with their worthless husbands (“Get me another beer, honey.”) and looking for real meaning in their lives. I am convinced that the only way to meet good women is to head to central America. They know how to treat a man and are not messed up (yet) by all that feminist garbage. Vamos a Costa Rica. Cuanta questa?

I am a big bellied beer drinker, and I take offense at all the remarks by the dope heads, crack smokers and meth maniacs. I think I have an IQ, but I love country music and NASCAR. Drugs and them smart ignorant people are killing our great nation. We need to get back to basics: keep our wives/girlfriends barefoot and pregnant, be free and ride our Harleys, and vote only for rednecks. ‘Nuff said.

Redneck Christmas decoration.

Terrorist Alert in France!  AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that it raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide". The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate".

The raise was precipitated by the recent fire which destroyed one of France's white flag factories, thus disabling their military.

Perhaps the reason there is such a strong police presence on the roads, is because there are so many drivers on US-1 (both local and tourist,) that don't seem to understand that 55 means 55, 45 means 45, 35 means 35, and so forth.  Where the hell is the fire?  I can understand if you're on the seven-mile bridge and the driver in front of you is going 25, that you'll want to get around, but when the driver in front of you is doing 55 or 60, there's no reason you have to pass that vehicle doing 90.  This ain't the mainland; slow the f*$% down… please.

[It is a fact that you are burning to oblivion brain cells which were put there for a reason when you smoke dope and drink] One of the main tenets of Natural Selection is that the weakest animals in a herd are the ones who die first.  The slowest buffalo falls to the wolves.  It's good for the herd, makes them faster.  Same for brain cells--kill off the slow ones with a beer or a toke, and it makes you smarter.

[Corrupt Congressman Jefferson] These men, if guilty, would not have walked; knowing how racist/bigoted society is. Thank goodness for the money they have.

I thought Will Soto (Juggler at Mallory Square) was going to move? Remember the article in the Key West Citizen? I keep seeing him in KW.  When is he going to leave?  Or did he come back?  I guess he did since I have seen him twice since October.

[I have to say I miss it, I lived on Big Pine Key for 2 years whilst working at Little Palm Island and now I am back in England.] Matt, we miss you more! Get your little British ass back here to live island life again and drink Speckled Hen with us. Merry Christmas, buddy.

PS. It’s a beautiful day in the Keys, not too hot and far from cold.

Well, we tried this year, but Publix was all out of ornaments.  We, however, found some decorations in the parking lot.  We figured the fine folks were done decorating the parking lot with them so we just hunkered down and recycled the suckers.  The worst part was those little lizard fellars that were making a home in them at the time.  I recon that if these ornaments were any bigger; and we shook them out, we might find some political types falling out. Or some rich snow bird types; you never know what kind of crap will blow down South.

Back at you to "here’s our tree" show us yours. We can't afford a store bought tree, but we sure enjoyed yours.  We saw you picture on the site when we took little Billy in for his blood treatment at the hospital and our son Lucas snuck onto the doctors computer.  We put this picture on at the police station after Bertha got pulled over for being caught being ugly with a cop in the trailer park.  Merry Christmas.

I have to comment on police giving other police tickets.  It's true!  I have a relative that was killed in the line of duty in my state and I am close to many officers.  One of the captains was driving through a nearby state and was given a ticket for speeding. 

I recently re-powered my boat, now I want to do the same to my wife!

Just because I smoke cigarettes and pot, drink whiskey, shoot heroin, smoke crack and  meth, pop pills, sniff paint, snort coke and chug cough syrup doesn't make me a bad guy. Does it?

The Christmas truck guy (Mike) drives all around using gas in his big truck and generator. Next time you see him and appreciate his efforts give him a Christmas gas donation, I do.

Only users loose drugs. I mean only losers use drugs.

I just visited mid northern Florida (where half the Keys moved) and everything was normal, affordable and you could do almost anything with your property. Hmmmm!

Snorkeling in Canada’s coral reefs.

Ah, Big Pine Key, the Keansburg of Florida!

Have people forgotten about the Japanese in WWII? These people were just as crazy religious fanatics as the Muslims are today. And we smoked their asses. We just might have to melt a bunch of those Muslims. Muslims are human like everyone else, they bleed and they have fears. To think they are anti-human and “too nuts to be beat” means you are buying into their propaganda.

Here's a great moose story and a good start for Christmas! When this little guy was young; he lost his mother too soon. So the Fish and Game brought him to Wendall and Debbie. They asked them to get him raised to a safe age to turn him loose again. So they bottle fed and took care of him; after a while they fed him with their cows.

So last Spring he was a year old and it was time to turn him back into the wild. Opened the gate and off he went. He stayed gone all summer; then this fall he was back with the cows. He really thinks he is a cow for now all was happy to see him as he is pretty friendly. He loves honey buns and will eat them right out of your mouth. Wendall and Debbie live right up in the mountains so it came time to bring the cows down. Well, the moose was lonely all by himself so he headed down to find another herd of cows to hang with. The neighbors called about a week later and asked Wendall to please come and get his Moose. So he headed out with a honey bun, bucket of grain and the horse trailer and brought him back home.

The moose is free to go anytime he wants, but is choosing to stay put for now. Surely, come spring he will start to feel a bit like a male Moose and take off, but, for now he is happy.

How come all of my UPS people look like Newman from Seinfeld?

[Hawaii is for snobs] Who needs it? If it’s that good, go back to it. I’ve got everything I could possibly need right here on the pine. If the pine ain’t got it, I don’t need it. And I can always drive up to Sam’s and get it if the pine ain’t got it.

To the person that commented on my comments to the person that commented about their comments. Somebody needs to go get a life. Twenty more days and I'm back in the Keys.

When is that Cochise place going to open? Will they serve real native-American food there? I can't wait. We need some culture on Big Pine. As of today, we have absolutely none.

[Extremists can’t be destroyed now just as they couldn’t be destroyed in the Clinton years] We were attacked three times during the Clinton Administration. The USS Cole, the first World Trade Center bombing and the fiasco in Somalia. Clinton just added to the US’s weak image. The one thing Bush can say is we have only been attacked once during his administration compared to three during the Clinton Administration. I maybe exacerbating Somalia to prove a point, but still… what did Clinton do besides lob some Cruise missiles at Afghanistan. The only thing Clinton cared about was eating pu**y and you know the saying “you are what you eat.”

Dear Santa,  I would just like Joe (and what's her name?) to pay me what they owe me.  I have been a good girl and do not understand why these high profile "do-gooders" can't just do the right thing here?  I think the best thing would be for us all to be able to put this behind us.  I need to be paid for my services rendered.  Merry Christmas Santa!  Don't work too hard.

Marathon was named after some very strong, accommodating woman.  God bless them all.  Merry Christmas!

If you want to have a good time listening or dancing to a great live rock band, check out Injade, they’re at the Tiki bar tonight (Friday).

The second Building Commission meeting has passed and, we the people, are still spinning from the spin. Nothing new except more kids’ games testing the feelings of the few hopefuls who did make the effort to come and defend their homes.  Only one person, a local resort owner had something valid to say about how this consulting was a waste of taxpayers’ money and time. He mentioned that everything is already on the drawing boards and approved and this Consultant Insultant Show was useless for those of us who care about stopping development and destroying our lifestyles.

The real mockery was the infiltration of shills at the tables to intimidate the people concerned with practiced verbiage to make this "New Keys" bovine rhetoric palatable. I suggest all locals prepare to either leave the Keys ASAP, or to adjust to the "New Keys Order" of plastic homes, low renters, mansion monsters, and a police state capable of who knows what! The Keys are dead! Long live Keysieworld! The next "meating" will be in January. Please be there, at least for the fun of it! No baseball bats allowed.

In the 13 Dec gossip column was a moan for my angel friends to provide some humor, so here's the lead-in to Heavy Wait, A Strange Tale . . .Sloan's Space

Post a picture of Linda from No Name Pub, and while you're at it, post a picture of the real Deer Abby.  I heard she's hot.

Well, I finally got to try the Big Pecker wine last night, and although I love the establishment, the wine is, to say the least, small pecker. And by the way, tomato basil last night and tomato bisque tonight?

BPK Funny Fridays- Boob Tube Edition: Closed Captioned for the hearing-impaired. The reading-impaired can go screw off. Not like they'll ever know I said that. Unless YOU tell them...

NORM: Forgiveness is the second best gift. Do you know what the first best gift is, Laurie? Cake.     ~The Norm Show

ARTIE: I'm a little overweight due to a genetic disorder that makes fried chicken delicious.         ~The Norm Show

BILL: What's so interesting about radio?
DAVE: I think radio is a fascinating medium.
BILL: You're from Wisconsin! You think artificial lighting is fascinating!          ~Newsradio

MR. JAMES: I wanted a house just like Xanadu, but without a dorky name.
LISA: So what did you call it?
MR. JAMES: Fort Awesome.         ~Newsradio

OSCAR: You want brown juice or green juice?
FELIX: What's the difference?
OSCAR: Three weeks.           ~Odd Couple

DAN: If you wear something blue, you get two dollars off a giant blue margarita.
CASEY: You know, I make a pretty good living. I can actually afford to wear what I want and pay full price.
DAN: I'm not promoting the economic upside as much as I am the opportunity to drink something giant and blue.        ~Sportsnight

ISAAC: Someone holds the copyright to "Happy Birthday"?
DAN: The representatives of Patty and Mildred Hill.
ISAAC: It took two people to write that song?           ~Sportsnight

(while filling out an application)
BOBBY: Mental illness or narcotic addiction?
JIM: Now that's a tough choice...         ~Taxi

MULDER: I'm going to find Trepkos.
SCULLY: What if he's already dead?
MULDER: Then he'll have a lot of trouble answering my questions.    ~X-files

SCULLY: You know, on the old mariners' maps, the cartographers would designate uncharted territory by writing "here be monsters."
MULDER: I've got a map of New York City just like that.        ~X-files

JOHNNY: All right fellow babies, that was the Doors, and this is sort of Johnny Fever, kind of doctor. And after... nine drinks, Venus Flytrap is catatonic, and I, myself, have personally just seen a giant pig. He is currently painting the walls of our lobby.
OFFICER: He is obviously drunk, ladies and gentlemen.
JOHNNY: Yes, he is... and I'm not feeling badly myself.    ~WKRP in Cincinnati

ROY: If you'll excuse me, I've got to get ready for the big night.
ALEX: Oh, that's right, you're about to romance a woman. You'll want to shower, shave, buy chloroform...        ~Wings

JESSICA: We are sick of your cost cutting. We want our cream back! And our forks, knives and spoons. No more sporks and spinknives and knifoons! It's like a Dr. Seuss kitchen down there!      ~Andy Richter Controls the Universe

JAY: Lady, don't take this the wrong way, but you're nuts!
OLD LADY: Oh, you sound just like the toaster.      ~The Critic

DREW: Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called "everybody", and they meet at the bar.  
    ~The Drew Carey Show

KATE: Oh, my God! How could you lie on the bible?
LEWIS: Well, it's simple. I'm a single, forty-one-year-old janitor.
What's God gonna do? Take that away from me?       ~The Drew Carey Show

MARIE: These breadsticks are old.
FRANK: Well, you are what you eat!
MARIE: Bobby, give your father his helping of Miserable Bastard. 
     ~Everybody Loves Raymond

DEBRA: I never thought I'd miss our little apartment.
RAY: C'mon, that apartment was tiny and cramped and noisy.
DEBRA: Yeah, your parents would only visit once every other month.
RAY: I loved that place.             ~Everybody Loves Raymond

PETER: Hey, anybody got a quarter?\
BILL GATES: What's a quarter?         ~Family Guy

PETER: Can't we tell them that your mother died?
LOIS: Peter, I'm not gonna lie about something like that.
PETER: All right, all right, I'll kill your mother.        ~Family Guy

FRASIER: I walk in here and find my producer lobbying to get herself transferred to another show... Abe Lincoln had a brighter future when he picked up his tickets at the box office!            ~Frasier

FRASIER: You refused to take me to see West Side Story on my eighth birthday.
MARTIN: Because of the gangs! Those would be scary to any kid!
FRASIER: Even gangs that dance?
MARTIN: Especially gangs that dance!       ~Frasier

AMY: Let's all take her out tonight. There's lots of great places to meet people.
HERMES: The Federal Sex Bureau!
BENDER: A saucy puppet show!
DR. ZOIDBERG: The rotting carcass of a whale!
AMY: Mmm, I'll pick.              ~Futurama

LIONEL HUTZ: I move for a bad court thingy.
JUDGE: You mean a mistrial?
LIONEL HUTZ: That's why you're the judge and I'm the... law... talking... guy.
JUDGE: You mean the lawyer.
LIONEL HUTZ: Right.    ~Simpsons

HOMER: Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.  ~Simpsons

Friday December 15, 2006

Thursday December 14, 2006

[From Hungary] Yes, I knew the Monsterfish aboard the "Misstres" and unfortunately there are no girls like Mary in Hungary, but I did meet up with one that looks like her. They could be sisters. I’ve been here seven years now and not one day goes by that I don't think of Big Pine, especially on days when it's colder than a well diggers ass. Thank you Joe Britz for turning me on BigPine.com. I love you all.

As far as the writer’s thought that if the terrorists think we’re weak they will attack us. The terrorists fear nothing. They really do think that they have God on their side. We must face that fact and deal with that fact.

Hey, Winn Dixie, where the hell is all the coffee? Your people are all very nice…yada, yada, yada, but I want my coffee!

I too have noticed the over abundance of police in the Keys. I recently moved down here and when I first got here I thought wow this is great look at all the police must be a very safe place to live, and I still believe that. Though through the month's traveling to and from work not a day has gone by that I haven't seen someone pulled over for speeding and among other things. We have the MCSO, the FHP, The FWC, KWPD, State Police, and don't forget to look up you might see a helicopter following, and we can't forget the police in the water and on jet ski's, all for one string of islands. I do have all the respect in the world for the police, and I have seen many people traveling way too fast on these highways and they should be stopped, but I can't understand, how with all the police, why a man on a bicycle can rob a bank and get away. I'm sure they will find him, but where are the priorities?

The classic movie Deliverance was on TV last night. As I was watching, it dawned on me that a lot of the men down here resemble those guys in the movie; and I don't mean the ones in the canoes.

Corrupt Congressman Jefferson got re-elected the same way Marion Barry got re-elected and just like OJ got acquitted and walked. It all had everything to do with skin color. Racism works in mysterious ways.

You rock, Michael Post!

Could you please re-post the first “UPS delivery girl” photo?  I wasn’t em….uh…finished with the first one.

If you are looking to meet someone, why don't you take a class in college as opposed to meeting someone in a bar?  You could take a class you take more for fun (i.e. ceramics, art) you would be surprised by the difference in the demeanor and attitude.  The college tuition you pay would counteract the price you were to spend on drinks and your loneliness would not be compounded by alcohol and depression but by education.  Not a bad tradeoff. 

[Brain dead closed minded pot smokers] Now hold on just a minute. I object to the comments made by the smug pot smoker and the condescending crack head. I’ve been smoking crystal meth for years now and have a recorded IQ of 210 or 220, whatever it takes. I have a successful career as a claims adjuster for a local residential / home insurance company. I’ll also have you know I’ve smoked crystal meth with many “so called” pot heads and crack addicts. But what we all should be worried about is those dam beer drinkers. They are the worst. With those distended bellies and going to pee all the time. I just can’t take it anymore. There ought to be a law against it.

Thanks for the Christmas truck video!  I thought I read last year they were moving away, glad to see the tradition continues.

Everyone has been talking about Conchz and Lost Cargo not being open or the store not being well stocked, has anybody been in Strike Zone's new building? I was shocked. It is beautiful inside and out, stocked with all kinds of stuff, lots of t-shirts, hats, dive gear, etc.  It's worth checking out.

The US will loose in Iraq if it doesn't start hitting with an iron fist. These rag heads only respect the bloodiest sword. The US can't count on their European Allies, they are all wooses. The Hungarian prime minister stated that if the Hungarian contingent gets mixed up in a firefight, he will pull the contingent out. The US can't count on the Europeans, look at the Spaniards, one train bombed and they ran, no wonder their flag is mostly yellow. What is it like fighting a war without the French? Well, it's like WW II.

I have a (mail) package that I could use some help getting lifted. The rules say you need 2 people to lift it. Is that little UPS worker available to help me get this project done? I was kind of noticing she had the tools to do this kind of job.

I am all for the legalization of all drugs, along with the registration of all the users. It is a simple fact though, that if you are using illegal drugs you are financing illegal enterprises. I don't care how harmless you think it is, using whatever in the safety of your own home. Innocent people are dying to finance your inability to face life on life’s terms. It does not matter if you are smoking pot through a gold pipe, or injecting heroin with a dirty needle in the mangroves. It is illegal and you are breaking the law, and people are ruining their lives and dying of addiction. I personally have made a choice not to use and not support various illegal enterprises. Give the matter some research and make your own choice.

I used to eat the Cracked Egg, everyday in fact, and throughout the years of excellent service to the community, the wait staff there was among the best. All places have their up days and their down days, but what we all have to remember is the food quality and the service quality that we received from them. We all felt sad when we learned that another island icon would be leaving our midst; and that feeling was from the good times we had there and to know we wont have them any more.

Now as to the wait staff, throughout the years, there have been many attractive servers there, especially when the Dip was there, ( oh, the Dip! ), anyway, some don't live here anymore, some live on boats in Marathon, some have cleaning companies, and some just went to work other places. But all the staff that I can remember had a great attitude. Should we be concerned at all about one's facial features? It’s what comes out of the heart that matters, we all know this, just sometimes it gets clouded. One thing we still can be grateful for, though, they all understood English. 

FWC is discussing possible changes to lobster harvesting regulations. This time around they are listening to the commercial divers. I believe this to be a good idea. Their views have unrightfully been ignored and criticized over the years. Some habitats built by novices are truly trash others built by long term fisherman are sound artificial habitats. They are made of similar material to artificial reefs used in other parts of Florida. Besides giving structure and security to lobsters they also provide habitat for other fish. The backcountry which has taken a big hit over the last 20 years needs some help. Solid well built permitted structures would be good for juvenile lobsters, fish and money for commercial divers.

Some people call these habitats trash. The real trash is the traps, trap line and buoys everywhere. When you walk on the islands outback you cannot help but see trap garbage. On the bottom when you dive you see left over wood traps rooting and concrete weights from weighting these traps down.

We should not allow one form of lobstering without the other. They both have negatives and positives on both sides. Both crowds of people need to make a living. Having a permitting process could increase the quality of habitats that people are going to use anyway.

I have to say I miss it, I lived on Big Pine Key for 2 years whilst working at Little Palm Island and now I am back in England.  I left with many happy memories of how relaxed the place is, the sunshine, the water, Robs, Boondocks and Coconuts.  So to all of you, don't get to bogged down in local politics and over-policed areas, just enjoy it for what it is.  I miss you guys, oh, and I am cold now.  Happy Christmas to the Keys.

[Marathon]  According to an article in the Key West Morning Star newspaper of Jan. 20, 2000 by Charlie Ramos, it was Joseph R. Parrott, Flagler's next in command and Chief Engineering Advisor, who gave a pep talk to 2500 workers at Knight's Key in 1908. Knowing that the 7 mile bridge task was still ahead, as well as the deep waters of Bahia Honda, he announced that, because of Flagler's advanced age and deep desire to see the project completed before he died, that more teams and more money would be spent to complete these last links to Key West.  He said, "Gentlemen, we are from this day forward engaged in a ‘Marathon’, a marathon to make sure that Mr. Flagler's wish becomes an accomplished fact."  So in 1908 the area east of Knight's Key on Key Vaca became known as Marathon, and in the spirit of speeding the construction supplies were branded, "To Marathon."

Reality is for people who can't handle drugs.

You said, "having a few drinks and smoking a little weed,  laughing all night long and having a good time living, how harmful can that be?"   I hope for your sake not harmful at all. It is a fact that you are burning to oblivion brain cells which were put there for a reason when you smoke dope and drink and the fact that a certain percentage of your yearly funds are spent on these acts instead of saving more for your pleasures and future.  This is your choice and if you get behind the wheel of a vehicle while doing it you are doing the same as if cocking a gun in an innocent’s direction.  How about laughing all night long and having a good time living and knowing exactly what is being said and done without the mask of drugs and booze? Try it and you will be surprised how wonderful life really is out here!

I see the comment by the woman who upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and had a great down time in the flowers and jewelry applications.  I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed a lot of down time too.  I have noticed a large down time in the felattio and pleasant applications.  Maybe we can work on each other's operating systems and see if we can get all of those applications running on our hard drives.  We might benefit from each other's Tech Support.  Your computer first or mine?

[Bonus Quote of the Day] "I never understand that question, you have a President that's in deep shit. He got us into the war, and all the reasons he gave have been   proven invalid, and the whole electorate was so pissed off that they got rid of anyone they could have, and then they ask, 'What is the   Democrats' solution?'" -- Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY), when asked what the Democrats should do about Iraq.

'd like to respond to the guy who thinks men with cabins on their boats are pussy whipped. If you were out there off the reef at night in about 110 ft of water and a thunderstorm comes up on you, no rain, but the energy from all the lightning around you creates a "blue ball" on the end of your fishing rod and you can hear the crackling noise coming from your bow-rail; where are you going to be?

OK, local yokels, I forget, is the whole MCSO mug shot posting banned or what?  I am just tuning in this week and expected to see a certain someone of a major corporation taking over the Keys on here or some sort of mention and to no avail.  Hmmmm, and it was even in our local magazines. 

Obituary for the late Mr. Common Sense: Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who was with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.  He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn), and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

No boat under 26 feet needs a cabin. Too much wasted space and extra weight. Factory boats are all under powered to keep the sales price low.

The reason it looks like we’ve got so many cops is that we’ve only got one road on which they all patrol.

[Linda's Picture] I'd love to spend a buck or two and go to the pub to see Linda for myself, but I'm a couple of hundred miles from there at the moment. I may be down in February, but was hoping someone would be kind enough to satisfy my curiosity sooner. Tell you what, I'll buy you a beer (or two) if you go there and then post a picture.

Xmas Truckin’ in the Keys on YouTube. Mike with Orange Truck all lit up. I mean the truck! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDOOw579rcU

A Jersey woman who finally made it to the Lower Keys was spotted at a local restaurant celebrating her birthday in Jersey style.  Fearing to approach too closely one person snapped this photo from a distance using a telephoto lens.  After frightening a server and complaining bitterly about the small portion she left a 16 cent tip and left.

Thursday December 14, 2006

Wednesday December 13, 2006

Congratulations to the Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce’s new Board Directors for 2007. They are: Capt John Nazzaro of Coldwell Banker Schmitt Realty and US1 Radio; David Allbright, Norstar Telecom; Tim Saunders, Keys Federal Credit Union; Capt Jimmy Sharpe Jr, Third Generation Charters; Ray Wood, Ray Wood's Lawn Care; Terry Strickland, FloridaKeys.com; Cindi Dolberry, Preferred Properties; and Holly Estes, News Barometer.

The new board will be sworn in by Monroe County Mayor Mario Di Gennaro and installed at the January Installation Banquet.

[Gamer nerd] I read where gamers suffer from lack of social skills and retarded interaction with live humans. Your gamer will never leave home for the real world as long as he has the virtual world or discovers sex (with another person).

Sung to the tune of walking in a Whiner (sic) Wonderland.
Sloan, you makes us groan. 
The hook's off the phone.
Christmas is here, can't we just have good cheer?
Walking in a Whiner Wonderland!

P.S.  Tell the Angels, Merry Christmas for me!  They need a laugh now and then too! 

Oh, Dan my thing!  The bathanger humor.  Way cool!  I had no idea you were so talented, fella.  Are you trying to show off for me?

I was reading the comment where someone calls the waitress at Cracked Egg "rags with missing teeth."  I wonder if the author is the same person who called the waitresses at Boondocks snobs.  Isn't it funny how all these women become bitches, snobs or rags the instant they refuse to date the person doing the name calling.

I have eaten in Cracked Egg several times and have really never noticed the waitresses being overly attractive or overly unattractive.  I have noticed great food with excellent service.  Based on their personalities I would love to date any of the waitresses there and at Boondocks as well.  After reading the comment here I will have to be more observant of the looks of the waitresses at Cracked Egg.  Not that it would matter what they look like as long as I like the person the looks will be beautiful.

Hey, Cracked Egg staff.  Who's single so I know where to sit next time?

Frank Sinatra Parody: Strangers on my flight

I hope Governor Bush and Representative Saunders will give great weight to anything George (Neugent) says about Monroe County...Sloan's Space

"spaces in their mind where there should have been thoughts.”  That’s about the best description I’ve ever heard of dopers.

Trophy Squirrel killed near Mill Creek, Texas. (There was no photo editing done to this picture!)

Karma didn’t break for Congressman Jefferson.  It’s just that he’s a Democrat and the fact that you are a thief, a crook, or a pedophile doesn’t keep you from being re-elected.

I have a solution for Iraq.  Let’s put all of our prisoners on a plane to Iraq, give them all automatic rifles and tell them to fight their way to freedom.  

[More bleach in the gene pool] In Shamokin, Pa. Terry Jackson, 36, distraught for an undisclosed reason, kept police at bay in a suicidal standoff in which she wielded five poisonous snakes (from an aquarium in her home). They bit her hand and face numerous times, leaving her bloody, until police subdued her with a Taser gun. She was hospitalized in critical condition but survived and will face charges for threatening police.

The person complaining about too many cops should check the stats before commenting.  Monroe County is right in line with other towns per-capita on number of officers.  Also, did you ever consider the fact there is one main road, which all the cops have to transit?  This means you would see them more often.  Apparently, you've never had a delayed response due to all the available cops being on other calls, like many others have.  That really was an uneducated comment.

This is truly a beautiful link to share with everyone this time of year. Farewell Marine http://www.pcsuccess.us/yrg/farewellmarine_final.swf

The only real reason guys buy boats with cuddy cabins is because their wife and/or girlfriends demands a place to pee. Center console boats manufacturers have gotten smart in the past few years and have been designing these boats with a small area inside the console where a porta-potty can be installed. Cuddy cabins are a pain in the backside and a total waste of space to true fishermen and divers. Guys writing in to the contrary are severely pussy whipped.

[too many police on roads]   The explanation for why you see so many police vehicles down here is pretty simple - only one main road/highway.   One of the standards most departments try to meet in a city or county is to have one officer per 1,000 people; but many locations can't afford that.  State Highway Patrols have different guidelines - probably per mile of freeway or highway.   If you are traveling across the state or states, you are most likely to see mostly troopers - there aren't that many.   In most counties, cities, suburbs, the squads will mostly (not all the time) travel on their smaller city highways, county roads, etc.  They aren't on the big highways and freeways much - that's the state's jurisdiction.

Now in Monroe County, there isn't much of a choice to get from one place to the other without being on Hwy 1.  That is why you see them more often than other cities.  Also, most other places an officer will do his paperwork at the station - 5 - 10 miles away from a call.  That also isn't the case here.   The substation could be 30 miles away.   Monroe County, due to its location also doesn't have the luxury to call on other sheriff's dept's or city dept's that normally would be “next door” (only a few miles away) for assistance or backup, therefore they should have more officers.   Then add on what they need for “teams” that in other locations are not necessary (dive teams, air or boat teams), or ones that normally would be shared with neighboring dept's (SWAT, bomb squads, narcotics, etc) and the department really should have more than one officer per 1000 people.   The tourist area thing adds to that.

When you figure out how many officers MCSO or Key West has, then remember at least 3 different shifts per day and days off.   It will start sounding pretty meager.

I agree there are way too many pigs here. I smell them everywhere. And one more thing, I have never gotten in trouble with the police for anything that was actually illegal. Dam those pigs.

[Success in Iraq will protect us in the long run] I agree that we cannot be safe without strong home front defense. But it is also naive to think that alone will make us secure. So I guess we should just let them fester, gain strength then we can fight them? It takes just one to get into this country to harm us. With a country as large, and in the mean time as free, as ours it is not too hard to sneak in. You must seek them out wherever they are and kill them and their families. If we lose in Iraq we'll be less safe. Although we may not be safer now than if we did not invade, in the first place. I always thought Hussein was doing a bang up job managing a country full of insane people.

The real terrorists have attacked the world trade center twice, attacked the Cole, and attacked us in Somalia and Lebanon. If we took them out then we might not be having this discussion now. Weakness or the perception of weakness got us to where we are today. We look weak in a world that only values strength. If we lose this war it will give them even more courage to attack the weak US. We can make them scared or kill all of them trying. But right now we look weak and not too scary. Gees even the pussies in the UN feel emboldened enough to attack us on our own soil and we even foot the bill.

The quote you use does not equate winning in Iraq to solving terrorism. You could have found a better quote in which Bush does. It has to be one of his top twelve catch phrases of all times. We can call them Bushies Dirty Dozen.

The Christmas Truck video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDOOw579rcU

[Cracked Egg] Yea…or what? It’s well done!

All this talk about the Bush twins joining Paris and Brittany.  Both Paris and Brittany have been exposed publicly in photos and there is no bush there.

Coconuts has been bringing down some fine Blues on Thursdays. The Chris Dean Blues Band will be there this Thursday. They will also be at the Parrot and the Hurricane. You Piners get a special show.

Bake your Bacon, Kevin.

Kudos to the retired cop. I've been stopped. But for what? Answer: Disobeying the law. They put their life on the line to protect us. Thank you.

Ha! If you don't like the breakfast at the Key Deer, go back to the Cracked Egg.

The machine gun fire emanated from the Mistress on July 4, 1987 or 1988, not 1986 as I erroneously reported (hoping Linda would remember and correct me.)

[Brain dead closed minded pot smokers]  I object to the statement made by the smug pot smoker about people who smoke crack. I am a crack head with a recorded IQ of 160 and I have smoked crack with at least as many professional people as the "pothead" has. I am fully functional in my job as a construction manager for an international company. Now what I really worry about are the crystal meth users.

[Too many police - every 20 miles]  I also was amazed by the numbers of law enforcement vehicles seen down here on the first visit or two.  I do view it a bit differently. I was pleased to see a strong police presence.  If you consider the very small land mass of the Keys and then think of the northern highways in a 20 mile square area, I would think the number of patrol units within 20 miles of you may be more on the mainland. 

The aspect of law enforcement vehicles on the side of the road talking as being a waste of taxpayers money is interesting.  They get slammed for being too hard on traffic law enforcement and then get hit with not "earning their pay".  The classic Catch 22.

I have been the recipient of a cheap traffic ticket myself where, in my opinion, the officer followed the letter of the law; not really the intent of the law.  Then again, I have had a number of breaks given to me.  I can say that "professional courtesy" does not always hold true.  

When a real life threatening situation develops, you get as far away from it as you can.  Police officers head towards it.  This is their primary purpose and unfortunately they are never paid enough for the duty.  

[Linda's Picture] Why don't you spend a buck and go to the No Name Pub and just maybe you will have the honor to see her (and get a beer too).

[Cracked Egg] The owners lease was up and the owner of the property is selling it. It's a shame that they aren't around because they had the biggest 1/2 order of sausage, gravy and biscuits (a true belly buster) compared to other restaurants close by.

[Brain dead closed minded pot smokers]  You have a valid point.  There are intelligent, functioning, productive individuals that have been using pot for many years.  How many hard drug users can honestly say that?  Maybe the question is the ratio of use to abuse.  Abuse defined as altering your lifestyle to the detriment of yourself and even more importantly to others.  I personally could be swayed on its legalization if it came with, what I would consider, common sense restrictions.  Either way, there will still be abuse.  I do have a hard time with the concept of a marijuana ad on a TV football game commercial break. I definitely agree that pot is worlds apart from the extremely destructive hard stuff. 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.