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Archives of Old Kudos and Whiners

September 2005

Friday September 30, 2005
Free flood insurance. So if they are going to reimburse those in the Gulf without flood insurance, does that mean that we don't have to buy it anymore? Will the government pay for our flood damage anyway?
Just curious. The guy's email who submitted the personal ad looking for a physical relationship shared the same email address as the writer who wrote "controversial" postings that some called racist. I look at email addresses when Ed. posts them because it helps me identify who is who on here. Now, I'm not Sherlock Holmes but could this same person be writing postings that allegedly come from women who responded to that same personal ad? Just something that made me go, "hmmmm."
Correction. Re: Robert "Marty" Wilkinson.  Services will be held next door to the Catholic church at the Dean Lopez bldg. (memorial gardens) on Big Pine Key at 2:00 p.m. Oct 1.
Re: Sad, divorced man. You know, you have to let go of things that were. Be thankful they were, but don't pine for them being gone. This is your life, make it count for something. I was my own boss all my life, I had a house on the water with 3 boats in the back yard, I had 4 children (now I have 3). Whining does no good. This is your only chance, use it to leave this world a better place.
I saw a white, plastic cooler on the side of the road near Cocoanuts the other night when I was running. It looked like the top was missing and there weren't bungee cords. It was the type fishermen use on boats. I heard you on Bizz Bazz the other day talking about the same cooler. Why don't you just buy a new one? It didn't sound like you lost anything in it except sodas. Was there something else in it that makes a $40 cooler worth finding and returning?
To self-employed and successful business person.  Keep your chin up and don't even think of anything but what you have done since she left you and that's, live.  If you made it before you can make it again.  You like fishing, get a small boat and learn the water and charter fish.  You like to play music, do it alone or find another lover of music and start a LLC or DBA and play music for party's.  You can do it and what you need to remember more than anything is that God put you here to live not to die. 

Writing your feelings is a wonderful act and I only hope the people of this web site will give you encouragement to continue on the successful path that you have prior to your loss.  Remember to volunteer in an area you have interest; or join a church of choice and find activities that people gather.  You have done well in your life and you still can...please try.  If a church is not your choice there are several organizations to help out at from Big Pine to Key West.  Get out make friends and you will heal.


With the Sun producing 100 Billion Candle Power of sunlight, it's bad enough cars are driving around with headlights on, but when Waste Management trucks have their high beams on, it's too much. Same goes for the damn school buses.  They're only making life miserable and burning fuel.
The year's best [actual] headlines of 2004:
-Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!]
-Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]
-Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!]
-War Dims Hope for Peace -[I can see where it might have that effect!]
-Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!]
-Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges ! [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]
-Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [He probably IS the battery charge!]
-New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!]
-Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
-And the winner is: Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Re: "Not everybody here lives in a bar". This is true, because most of us Pinies can't afford to, so we grow our own fun!
Dear Ed. Your comment about the Casanova resubmitting his personal ad for all of us unloved Pinettes was priceless! One has to wonder though, is this guy using protection?
(Ed: Yes. Didn't you read what that lady said about his gun?)
White Cooler. What's the big deal about loosing a stupid cooler. Go buy another one. Big deal.
Re: Bacon grease.That's one big butt! Guiness book of world records for sure!


This morning I awoke to an aura.  A distinctive atmosphere nearly luminous in its emanations.  I perceived a vile presence reminiscent of a troubled period in the past.  There was a sense of hostility and anger in the air and a miasma of bitterness, callousness, disrespect, vexation and tastelessness.  I searched for the source and realized that it was pervasive and wide spread.  Then I came to the understanding that it is seasonal.  The Jerseyites are baaaaaak!
Did everybody hear how Rudy Krause got beat up?
To: Gave up on marriage. My marriage, too, suffered since coming here. We have only been here for a year and a half. I remember the reason we came here, he seems to be too caught up in "another world". It seems that this place has some sort of mesmerizing effect on some people. Being from Florida, I know that coconut palms are no big deal, nor are bougainvilleas, or iguanas. The laid back style here it fine if you are retired or make good money, but for the average person, it is just an excuse for being flat out lazy. Granted, we are further south, which makes it more difficult to work long hours in the hot sun. My husband seems to have forgotten everything we ever talked about. He is on "Keys time." Well, now it is his own time as I am divorcing him and returning to the mainland. He is retired alone.
Radar reports have indicated that a large wave of snowbirds has been located on the interstate south of Ohio. This wave is headed in a southerly direction at sustained speeds up to 50 mph. Computer models all converge on a cone of probability leading directly to the Florida Keys. The speed is expected to increase in the next few days as the wave encounters warmer asphalt.  When the wave hits 60 mph on the Homer-Simpson Scale, we will officially have our first Hemorrhoid-cane of the winter season. It will be named Arnold.
Re: Casanova. It was me who wrote in last week about answering the Let's Hook Up ad and suggested that my new, as she called it, email buddy answer it too. I was crushed to see the ad was removed the same day she told her story here. I am happy for two things now. The first one is that I did answer the ad and receive the confidence booster I very much needed. The second one was that I made a new friend when she emailed me and I am glad she answered it and had the same confidence boost I needed. She and I have become friends over this. We are planing to go out for drinks. Hmmmmm, guess what the topic of conversation will most likely be?

I didn't go into as much detail about the physical part as she did in her letter, but trust me ladies, everything she said is true and more. Wow! I had forgotten what it was like to have a guy treat me like a person rather than a posession or sex toy. My marrage and bedroom life was all one way. Me making him happy and him laying back while giving me nothing in return. My ex-hubby used to say it was a give and take relationship. He was right, he wanted me to give every time and him take every time. Not that I mind giving, but a girl has to receive once in a while too. God I hope the jerk I was married to is reading this.

Anyway Ladies, if he does not re-post his ad and email address, email me keysgirly@hotmail.com  and I will pass it on to you. I would add it to this posting, but wouldn't do that without him telling me to. When I wrote in about my experience I had several guys email me asking for a date. Guys, I appreciate the offer but please refrain. If I want an email date I will place my own personal ad. That may happen soon now that my first personal ad experience was such a very enjoyable one in so many ways.




I have fallen in love with the bacon grease girl you pictured yesterday. Any chance of "hooking up" with her? Where does she hang out? What a hottie!
When are they going to export more Big Pine Key Deer to Cudjoe and the rest of the Keys. They're delious with apple butter!
Re: "In God we Trust."  Can you be quiet now?  Haven't we got more to worry about?
Just click here and listen up.. the_duel
Cassanova Himself. I am the guy who placed the "Hook Up" classified ad.  First, thank you to the two women who wrote in complimenting me.  I am glad we were able to get together and glad you had a good time. I had a great time as well and would love to see either of you again. I enjoyed every minute. My second thank you is to the editor for pointing out that the ad was cleaned out.  I have put it back in today.  I tried to remember it word for word.  It might not be the same but the message is. I hope to meet many of the ladies in the Keys.  We can never have enough friends and if more comes from it that will great.  Drop me an email to say hello.  It just might be fun.
BPK Funny Fridays... Because there's nothing funny about Mondays. Not a damn thing.

I don't kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell "Whooa, I'm way too high!" –Bruce Baum

I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.
–Bruce Baum

~USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
~Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?
~Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
~Everyone has this sense of togetherness right now. For example, one guy on the subway today, he wanted to share my pants.
–David Letterman

~The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face
~If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
~If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."
~I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.
~Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun? It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time, people are going to get out of the way. Cars, too!
–Jack Handey

~For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier...I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
~I saw a close friend of mine the other day... He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know... my calendar has no sevens on it."
~I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious.
~In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."
~My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
– Steven Wright

A stutter isn't an impediment, it's suspense. "What's he gonna say? Car or carnival? ...Carburetor? Man..." –Demetri Martin

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades." –Demetri Martin

I like clothes, you know. I dig fabrics. One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you're in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you're not it does just the opposite. It's like, 'Hey, there's an a**hole.' But when you're in the woods you're like, 'Is there an a**hole out here?'" –Demetri Martin

If hooking a car battery up to a monkey's brain will help find the cure for AIDS and save somebody's life, I have two things to say ... the red is positive and the black is negative. –Nick DiPaolo

Candy Corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.
–Lewis Black

They've gotta stop reporting wind chill, that's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they came up with it, but it's a lie. They come on, 'well, it's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus 3.' ...well, then it's minus 3 a**hole! I don't need to know what the weather was like if the conditions were perfect! –Lewis Black

Ben and J-Lo have announced that they want a small wedding. Yeah. So they decided to invite all the people who saw GIGLI. –Conan O'Brien

You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. Land mine '69. You see a guy with one arm, he's got a story, too. Snow blower, bottle of whiskey. You see a guy with one tooth, what would the story be? Well, uh, I like a lot of taffy. –Dave Attell

If you go to Germany and get drunk, at some point you're going to look up Hitler in the phone book. –Dave Attell

If I need directions I’m asking a man with one leg. Cuz he definitely knows the easiest way to get there. If there’s a shortcut, that one legged guy knows where it is. You won’t be hopping fences or climbing ladders... he’ll get you right there. –Dave Attell

When Jesus comes back to earth the last thing he wants to see is a cross.
–Bill Hicks

Ever noticed that people who believe in Creationism look really unevolved?
–Bill Hicks

I've a plan to take care of illegal immigration into this country. In California  we have all these propositions, but I've got a plan: FLAMING RIVER OF  GAS! All along the border. First, it would create jobs to help build the thing, but it would also be a tourist attraction. I'd drive a thousand miles to see a burning river of gas, wouldn't you? It'd be fun to see if somebody tries to cross it! If one guy gets across, we pat him down and throw him back. We could put a dimmer on it, so the flames would go on and off, and encourage more people to cross it. You could bring the family. "Hey, honey, I made it! C'mon bring the kids... FWOOSH!!!!   –Jake Johannsen

I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flushed, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"
–Jim Gaffigan

It's church, you're reading from the bible... it's not like you can make something up. Not like you can get the first line then ad lib. "A letter from Peter to the Apostles ... uh ... Dear Apostles ... How was your weekend? Sure is hot here. Tell Jesus, "Hey." ...This is the word of the Lord." –Jim Gaffigan

Re: The swimming cat at Wetstock. I was there and I was amazed, this damn cat loved the water it was really cool to see.
Special note to Bruce: Thank you, your words were heard and deeply, deeply appreciated.  It is good to know that there are others that care.  To J.M. aka Darth Vader of the Evil Empire: Please don't call my cell phone. I could never have anything to say to you for any reason. You need to respect your fellow man and especially those who are older and have a superior intelligence than you do. (90% of the earth's population on the second point.)
Re: Sad divorce. Man! You are breaking my heart. See a Dr and get some medication. You shouldn't have to live like that. Quit letting her have that much power over you. She moved on, now you need to. You are still young. Don't give up, it can get better!
It's great that the new law has been passed regarding protecting your own property.  Hopefully people realize that it's not a law to be able to kill at will.  To be able to hold someone at gun point until the authorities arrive and not be arrested for entrapment.  Some may think it's a free-for-all, but shoot someone in the back and see where you end up!  And rightly so; it's a good law for the owner and a bad one for the thief. 

To the gentleman who just went through a difficult divorce, I went through a similar experience. Please go to a counselor, get a bicycle, get exercise and explore the beauty of our island. Go for walks, stay busy with your job, and working around the house. Do not display pictures of the ex and confront the reality that the marriage is over and move on. Good luck my friend and God bless.

Attention all snowbird haters. Do you work at Winn Dixie? Most of the people I know make more money when they are in town. I can talk crap about Northeasterners and Midwesterners, but I just shut-up and take their money. I don't like it either, but learn how to take advantage of the situation.

Regarding  the anti-war march organizers.  I don't know if what you say is true but who cares?  If the people who marched were well-meaning and they got their messsage out that they are opposed to this administration's ill conceived policies, then that is all that matters.
Regarding the Fl. native's comments on 9/29/05 it should be obvious to any thinking person that the poor soul has no doubt absorbed way to much of the intense sun of his native area. If anyone, per chance, should see the poor fellow wandering around your neighborhood, you would indeed be doing an act of kindness if you could gently lead him to a shady spot and perhaps offer him a cool drink. Although the condition is irreversible, you could still possibly alleviate some of the poor mans pain.





Don't you hate driving behind someone who hasn't properly secured their cargo?  Cars dodging flying debris cause a lot of accidents.
Re: Snowbirds leaving A/C on.  Let some of us locals that dont have A/C stay in your homes so we dont get mildewed and fungused.
Ed: You are doing a fantastic job.

Friday September 30, 2005.

 

Thursday September 29, 2005.
I have been here for only two years.  I came when my wife, who was and is the love of my life, gave up on our marriage of almost 30 years.  Granted, the honeymoon was definitely over, but I thought we had so much invested in it that it was worth trying to find solutions; thinking that love was still there and of course 30 years of history. 

There is not a morning that I wake up and marvel at the tiny space in which I live, about the size of one room in my house that was built during the civil war and I had spent years trying to make into a beautiful home.  I promised my son that I would never take my own life but sometimes I don't think I can keep that promise as I am in such constant and severe pain.  The now ex-wife has refused even to talk to me and my sins never justified this treatment which has made things worse.  I was always self-employed having successful businesses but now I don't have two nickels to rub together so I have worked for a variety of ***holes down here that have no business employing anyone with an IQ over 80.  I met a very nice woman and care about her but have been unable to make it work as my heart remains with my ex.  After 30 years you know every detail about a person and I miss her in a way that words cannot describe. 

The only time I find myself "happy" is when I play music...it is a terrific escape.  The Keys are an incredible place not to be taken for granted, but if you have to spend your life working just to be able to stay here...you cannot seem to enjoy the water and the fishing.  I try to smile when around other people but I continue to die inside.  I miss my dogs and my entire life that I built.  Everyday I try to tell myself that life goes on and just put one foot in front of the other etc. But if life is judged by a level of quality then I have such a long way to go.

Twice I have read, "you were one once", concerning the snowbirds. Wrong!  I'm a Florida native and I have never liked the rude, no-driving, loud mouthed, garbage leaving, know everything Yankees. I have traveled up north and I didn't like them there either.!

Re: Snowbirds leaving A/C on. They leave it on so their resort home's interior does not get mildewed.
I loved reading about the true spirit of Big Pine (the woman's purse returned) as opposed to the drunken angry hateful slobber that is often written here.  That is the reason many of us stay here in spite of the fact that nasty city attitudes come with many of the recent transplants here. It does take years for anybody to "get into the Pine of things".
Robert "Marty" Wilkinson II (age 57yrs.) passed away on Tuesday, 09-28-05.  There will be a time for reflection on Saturday,  October 1, 2005 between 2:00 p.m. and 4:00 p.m. at St. Peter's Catholic Church.
I am a long term local who doesn't get cured of anything with 80 proof anything. Those locals that do are only a small percentage of the Big Pine family. Not everybody here lives in a bar.




It could have been worse! It could have been a Peckers' truck.
"The media have pushed the idea that the demonstration this weekend at the White House was an 'anti-war' gathering. What they didn't say was who was behind it. For the record, the lead organizer (was) ANSWER, which the media routinely refer to as an 'antiwar group.' It is nothing of the sort. In fact, ANSWER is a front group for the Stalinist Workers World Party. And any group that qualifies for that epithet in front of its name deserves special scrutiny, since Josef Stalin was responsible for the murder of as many as 25 million human beings.

So why do communists, particularly those who march under Stalin's flag, get different treatment? And why do thousands of average people feel comfortable marching arm in arm with them? It's a puzzle. After all, according to the "Black Book of Communism" a widely cited and respected compendium of communism's crimes in the 20th century, communist regimes murdered as many as 100 million people over the last century. That's quite a record. Indeed, all the century's great mass murders, Mao Zedong (65 million), Stalin (25 million), Hitler (21 million), Pol Pot (2 million)—were communists or socialists.

Yet many well-meaning people who marched this weekend perhaps didn't know all this. Or perhaps they don't mind having their cause besmirched by people who aren't really anti-war at all, but anti-America, anti-West, anti-freedom and anti-capitalist. Maybe it proves the old adage: Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas."






Chef was seen driving the Roach Coach? Cool. I love it when he sings about prostitutes and his salty chocolate balls-great tunes.
Larry, the produce man at the flea market, will be back this coming Saturday. He always starts on the first weekend in October. Stop by and smell the tomatoes.
Regarding the "string job", let's not even go there.  Keep your sex talk a home please.
You don't need the snowbirds here to stand in line at CVS for twenty minutes.  It happens all the time!

Re string job. A girl who worked at Teasers told me that it is sort of like a cat's cradle, only you put your "boys" into it. She wouldn't tell me anything else unless I gave her another $20. She said she would show me for $100. I passed, she had to be a walking Petri dish.
Last Friday, about 6:30 P.M., somewhere between Big Pine and Ramrod Key, we lost a white plastic fishing cooler and bungee cords out of the back of our truck. Once noticed, we turned around to go back and everything was already gone--all in about 10 minutes time. These items are used for Disaster Relief, and my husband had just returned from Mississippi after helping others there. Please, whoever picked these items up, find it in your heart to return them to him. It may be you that we are helping during the next disaster!
Please call Curt at 849-0160 and if no answer, leave a message and he will return your call.
Take Action: Save Pets From the Next Hurricane. https://community.hsus.org/campaign/pets_act_house?rk=kpa7JNF1WmI5W  Please ask your U.S. Representative to support the Pets Act, H.R. 3858, which would require state and local authorities to plan for evacuating people with pets the next time a disaster like Hurricane Katrina strikes.
You may have heard in the news that a couple of Post Offices in Texas  have  been forced to take down small posters that say "In God we trust".  The law, they say, is being violated.
 
I heard proposed on a radio station show that we should all write " In God we trust " on the back of all our mail. After all, that is our national  motto, and it's on all the money we use to buy those stamps. I think it is a  wonderful idea.

We must take back our nation from all the people who think that anything that offends them should be removed. If you like this idea, please pass it on and DO IT. The idea of writing or stamping "In God we trust" on our envelopes sounds good to me. I'm having my  stamp made today! It has been reported that 86% of Americans believe in God. Could it be that we just need to take action and tell the 14% to sit down and shut up?
Re: flood America. We, who actually live here, realize the difference between the Keys and everywhere else in the USA.. We have to build our houses with steel and concrete, not toothpicks. Flood the Florida Keys and give us 120 mph winds and we will end up with wet houses that are (many) still standing, unlike the houses in Louisiana and Mississippi. Anything built after 1992 has been built to withstand 150 mph winds. Houses built before that were built to withstand wind by the homeowners so they would have a house after the wind blew. I am not talking about Mobil homes that were placed in the 50s for "temporary housing" that hasn't gone away yet.  Please don't tell us about what you think it is like here, you apparently don't live here. Your perceptions may be a bit off.
Well I guess it had to happen, The BPK Bitch & Gripe Page has gone money, money!  It was bad enough when we got those "subliminal" ads from your users telling just "How nice it was to have Mr. XYZ do my roof!", or "Gee, Mrs. Simm really cooks a great meal at the Round Groper". All BS ads!  What's next, instant credit card charges?

They finally indicted Tom Delay for something, anything! The guy is so crooked, but no one's ever been able to catch him.
Beer gut or Big Butt. Some of the heifers here have both. Moo!
It would be nice if we could screen the snowbirds: no one over 200 pounds and over 70 decibels of loudness would be admitted to the Keys. Of course this would be extremely discriminatory towards anyone from New Jersey; none of them would get in. 


Bacon grease warning effective asap! Stop cooking with bacon grease immediately. This is what happens when you keep cooking with bacon grease. This is a warning. Send this to every woman you care about.
Vat do yous mean, Snowbird Bashink? Ve gonifs vant the monye, more monye! Ve are Snowbirds who open season shops, and sell to odder Snowbirds, then leaves!  Vat yous vant everythink? Yu local yu!

Re: Shorts. My husbands' shorts are always turned inside out after the wash cycle too. Why do you think that is? If it's the agitation, why doesn't it turn them right side out after turning them inside out? These are the important questions that should concern us Pine nuts.
I'm loving it. Today a Texas grand jury indicted Tom DeLay on conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme.

Oct 1 is the birthday of Julie Andrews, born Julie Wells in Surrey, England (1935). She made her debut on Broadway at the age of 19 in The Boyfriend in 1954.
 

Sept 29 It was on this day in 1982 that the first of seven people died from taking Tylenol capsules that had been deliberately contaminated with cyanide.

It's the birthday today of Lech Walesa in Popowa, Poland, in 1943. He was elected Poland's president in 1990.

On this day in 1941, a Nazi death squad systematically machine-gunned more than 30,000 Russian Jews at the Babi Yar ravine in Kiev, Russia.

Film director Stanley Kramer (Caine Mutiny; Guess who's coming to dinner) was born today in New York City in 1913.

It's the birthday of the singing cowboy, Gene Autry, in 1907 in Tioga, Texas.

Aryan Nation revisited. Surprised we are around? Hell, we fix your cars, we cut your grass, your trees, we install your A/C units, we work at Winn Dixie,  we work for the County (including the MCSO), we work for KW city and Marathon. We drive Cabs. We are here we are white and proud of it and there are more of us than you would ever believe. Thank God we live in America were we have the freedom to believe or say what we like.  I love how people want to censor what they don't like. Oh, wait is that not what Hitler did?

Re: see-thru skirts
While I agree that some members of the AARP set could use the levity, unfortunately those skirts only exist in Japanese porno mags.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/skirts.asp
FEMA Disaster Survival Tips
Recent events have underscored the importance of being properly prepared to deal with the effects of natural disasters. With that in mind, the Federal Emergency Management Agency has prepared the following guidelines.
    • State and local governments should notify FEMA a minimum of two weeks before a natural disaster strikes.
    • In the event of a disaster of "biblical proportions," FEMA may not be your best option. You may wish to consult your Bible instead.
    • In a time of crisis brought on by a natural disaster, remember to focus on the task at hand—survival—and don't waste mental energy thinking about who did or didn't cut this or that funding for levee repairs.
    • Find a way to pass the time and take your mind off the situation. For example, see who can count the most bodies in a minute.
    • Write charming and folksy yet moving pleas for help on sheets of plywood. Example: "Please!!! help Old lady in here! she Very sick!!! please help!!! us"
    • Try to steel yourself for the prospect that some Kevlar-vested prick with an automatic rifle might try to take your cat away.
    • Children should try to decide on which stuffed animals they don't want to die of starvation, disease, or exposure.
    • Please cover your "safe area" with thyme, sage, or other fragrant herbs to mask the stench of decomposition when rescuers finally find your bodies.
    • When taking refuge in gigantic sports arenas, do your best not to open fire on the aircraft coming to fly you out.
    • In any disaster, bodies will usually be stacked like cordwood before FEMA can respond, so remember that a "cord" of wood is 8 feet high by 12 feet long by 4 feet wide, and stack accordingly.

A lot of others left much more in Vietnam. Many returned home, but never really came back.
I have to start by saying I have been reading this website for months and love it. It is better than The Enquirer by far. It is a more fun version than The Citizen's Voice. After many months of reading it I decided to write in for the first time. I have fairly recently split up with a boyfriend of 5 years and was afraid of the whole dating scene.

I didn't know how to date anymore. I read the posting a few days ago from the woman who answered the "Let's Hook Up" ad that is in the personals here on BPK.com I decided to email her and find out if the guy was for real and if I would be stepping on her toes if I answered it too. She and I have become email buddies over the last two days and she told me that, yes, it was for real and I should go for it. She wasn't planning a relationship with him but just wanted to see him to boost her confidence after a bitter divorce with an A** Hole.

She told me a little more than posted in her letter here and she was very happy she answered the ad. Not being Pam Anderson I don't have guys beating down my door so I decided to do it. I emailed him on Monday night and we went out last night. I am very glad I took her advice and went with my gut feeling by emailing him. We had a long talk about the nature of his ad and he told me the reason for the blunt ad was he is not really looking to find "Miss Right" but is keeping his eyes open and hoping he stumbles across her.

All in all he was a very nice guy. A great kisser too. He brought flowers for me, something my ex never did unless he was in the dog house. He complimented me, paid attention to me and was very interested in me. He stimulated my mind before anything else. All went well and it was a very good experience. I don't need to go into the physical part but will just say it was quite enjoyable. The conversation was not the only way he paid attention to me and what I wanted. As I said, he was a great kisser in all ways and places (another thing my jerk ex never did for me but wanted me to do on a daily basis.) I am very glad I answered this ad that I always thought was a joke. It wasn't a joke but certainly did put a big smile on my face. I would highly suggest any other single women who are lacking in the attention department go for this one. Thank you Jenny for turning me towards answering the ad.
(Ed: Oops. We cleaned out all the old Classifieds yesterday and that one got deleted too. Mr. Casanova, would you please resubmit your ad so these lovely Pinettes won't remain unloved. Good luck to both of you.)

Thursday September 29, 2005.

 

Wednesday September 28, 2005.
Breaking news! 3:32pm Packers truck is getting loaded on to the tow truck.
I am the author of the controversial comment about the Packers truck and the deceased owner.  In reading my own comment I realize I may have been out of line in talking about the dead.  No matter what anyone's drinking habits or watering holes are they still left a family behind and to them I apologize for my remarks.
 
One factor that made me realize this was an email I received from Capt. Dan regarding my comments and about Key Deer in general.  Dan did not chastise me or attack me for my comments.  He was a complete gentleman and spoke about Key Deer, the truck and his plans for the future of the establishment.  In reading his email I think he intends to do away with many of the problems Key Deer, just the same as any bar room, has had.  For a man I have never met, unless I bumped into him at Key Deer or just around the area, I gained a lot of respect for Dan.  He conducted himself as a professional and a gentleman.
 
I used to frequent Key Deer BBQ back when Cynthia Ard, now Cynthid Horton, owned it and it was a great local place with great food.  It does appear to have taken a turn towards more of a rough bar room, but I believe Dan will be changing that soon.  I hope all works out in the best for Dan and Key Deer and that I will once again enjoy stopping by.

My obnoxious neighbor from New Jersey keeps babbling that his wife wants to give him a "string job."  Is this like weaving or what? I have no clue.
Re: Local Alien visitor. Blorg's force field has finally failed...alas, reality is a big part of life in the Keys.
Another voice wrote in defending the deceased owner of the famous Packers truck and said how he ran a local little league and was a great role model to the children in the community.  This may be true and he should be remembered for those great acts.  For the truck being parked in front of Key Deer, that can have a great impression on the same children this man mentored and helped.  Children look up to coaches and want to be just like them.  These kids will see the truck that he was so well known for outside Key Deer and want to once again be just like him.  I can't think of any mother or father who wishes for their children to look forward to the day they can become a bar fly hanging around a local watering hole.  If for no other reason, move the truck for the children.  If this gentleman was so active in the Big Pine Little League why not park his truck over at the ball field?  This way he will be remembered as a baseball supporter and a person who donated time to the kids of the community and not as a bar fly.
Oh, my goodness. I've seen it all.  The "caveman" from boondocks was in the Key Deer today. He had one beer. Asked Darryll the bartender to order him a taxi. Got tired of waiting for one and left. He went outside, jumped in the Packer truck and drove off into the sunset. Capt. Dan chased it down the street, but at his age, he's lucky to catch his breath. There will be a police report. Remember, you heard it here first!
Why do the snowbirds leave the a/c on in their homes when they leave for seven months? I wish I had all that air this summer.
Re: "Please stop bashing the Catholic Church"! We are not bashing the church because it's 87% gay, or perverted, or just plane nuts, we're bashing all religions because they're trying to control us party animals with their sickness. Get an appointment with a shrink will you!?
Re: Roach Coach.  I saw it this morning about 5 AM on my way to Key West.  There was a man in chef's whites, hat included.  I wondered what was up with that.  Glad to know they have good coffee.  I hope we're thinking of the same place.  Was is Southbound near Hitch King?
Tara, We will miss you so much.  My very tall husband and myself will want to keep in touch.  Please give him your e-mail address before you leave.
Frightening anti-Semite from a real member of the Aryan nation: Simon Wiesenthal Died this week. He spent his life making money off the holocaust and tracking down bank accounts and valuables to seize and freeze for Jewish organizations. But what else would the great creator of the Lie, spend his life doing?
Re: Don't gripe about the snowbirds. You were one once.  We all were, but full timers get the cure via anything 80 proof!
Re: Inside out shorts. That's true. My husband's a carpenter and every pair of his work shorts always get turned inside out in the washer too. One of lifes' mysteries.
Their is room in AA for us pine nuts.
I loved the photos of murals painted on buildings! Please continue to post more.

Re: I once enjoyed reading this page.  I agree wholeheartedly. Being a Piner, I am embarrassed with all the hate, the racism, bashing everyone that is not exactly like the writers. Tough call editor, but maybe you should consider changing the guidelines to reduce this crap. Is this representative of my neighbors?

(Ed: I'm afraid it is. We're all dismayed and surprised at so much hate and cruelty that too often appears here from such a small population. Or is it more tourists coming to this site from everywhere? Our viewer ship has gone up so much that we hope the new writers aren't influencing the flavor. We don't think so. When we only received four comments a day; usually, one of them was evil. Today was the largest number of submissions we've had in our three years of doing this. We don't have any way of weeding people out because our strength lies in our policy that we don't censor--we edit. When we don't print a comment it is because it is too evil or too cruel. [most of the hate stuff is filled with the most grammatical errors. Coincidence?] Sometimes we print a hate comment, like the Aryan Nation one today, because we're surprised that those people are around. And everyone should be able to form their own opinions.

If this site was just comments from people who think like us and call Big Pine, "Paradise" it would be pretty boring to read; and we wouldn't have any interest in doing this every day.)
I don't like to stand in line for my 30 min. lunch to buy something at CVS with 20 snowbirds in front of me.
Yesterday, in a moment of blondeness, I left my purse sitting in the cart that I had so dutifully returned to the front of the Winn Dixie after loading groceries into my car.  If I recall, it was wide open, wallet poking out, cell phone sticking out of its little pocket…and I cannot thank enough the kind citizen who turned it in to the person at the bank desk with every last item and dollar intact.  My faith in the kindness of fellow Piners has been given a boost.  Thank you so so much to the person who returned it and to the kind lady at the bank desk who saw how frantic I was. 
Currently available at the Marathon Animal Shelter are these wonderful animals:
 
1.  China, a Siamese cat, has been hiding for a long time -- she is finally out and playful but still a bit skittish!  She needs some loving attention.
2. Peanut is a small Shepherd mix puppy -- very loving, with the sweetest disposition. 
3.  Precious is a small Mix - we're not sure just what she is, but we do know she's adorable.  She's a little shy, but very loving when she comes out of her shell.
4.  Berkman is a Spanish native -- a Dogo Argentina and very, very smart.
 
Come see these and our other fantastic pets at 10550 Aviation Blvd in Marathon, or 279 Industrial Road in Big Pine. Or give us a call at 305 743 3779, or drop an email: sufa2005@bellsouth.net

Re: Ouch!:  Sounds like G Maddason [funinthesun_34@hotmail.com] has a cheap-shot, personal ax to grind with his comments about the former Packer truck owner.  Calling him “a drunk who drank himself to death” is uncalled for, a little cruel considering the man is dead and unable to defend himself, and not entirely accurate.  And, first of all, only two of the paper bag crowd outside Key Deer came to Mo-Bay and they were eventually told to take their business elsewhere and not-return.  Mo-Bay was too far away to attract the dirt bags.  Second, the truck, while at Mo-Bay was clean and maintained.  Third, only a few of the old Mo-Bay crowd moved to Key Deer.  Of those who did, most moved on to other places.  And how, exactly, would you know anything about a “street pharmacy” unless, of course, you’re a customer. 

If there’s any dealing going on, it’s pretty low key and no more uncommon than at any other bar in the Keys.  And your accusation about arson is really so far from reality as to be ridiculous.  Got any proof? The County Fire Martial claimed the likely cause to be electrical.  (I know because I asked him.  I was there that day helping out)  Making an accusation like that is also justification for a good ass whipping.  You simply don’t know what you’re talking about. You also sound much like the idiot who has a personal ax to grind with a certain bartender and, like any sneaking coward, likes to take cheap shots from hiding.  Well, ****, your name is out now! 




Re: Bill Frist, what a joke. He's a doctor and when questioned he thought AIDS could be transmitted by sweat.
Re: FEMA. Michael Brown did his job, he gave away millions in Florida last year and helped win the election. Of course this year they are demanding it back.
RE: Shorts. Never mind that they end up inside out, did you realize that shorts spelled backwards spells Stroh's beer? Hmmm. It's bad enough people drink the crap, now they are washing them also! I remember the first time I saw on someone's garage door "Eat me shorts!" I never realized they were prompting me to drink their beer. Shows what part of the USA I am from.


Don't call me loco. I'm a pine nut.
About the unintelliable signs, most of my posts are made white under the influence.
Does anyone have any memorabilia or information about the old Vista Linda resort at the end of Sands Road? I believe it was sold and renamed the Mariner Resort in the 60's.  It's the same site that is supposed to become the new park.
Is this Packer's truck gripe going to be an annual thing like Christmas or Mother's Day? The person bitching about it only seems to do it once a year. Does anybody (outside of the bitcher) really care? 


So of course our corporate media paid no attention to the 250,000 plus people that marched on Washington and the rest of the world last weekend, but they did tell us that Cindy Sheehan was arrested Sunday.
Re: Beer Companies. You knew it was coming. Would you like to here it? Here it goes. If you don't care to here of a woman's wisdom, why don't you put in some earplugs after a few shots of Jager to chill you out. Then, when you wake up in the morning, take a good, close look in the mirror and figure out, "Gee wiz, if I didn't want to go home with that woman I could have avoided the issue all together." I suggest you get your drink on and your snack on before going out. Well, gee, maybe that is the problem?
Re: Africa. Would you like to know what useful thing came from Africa?  Look in the mirror. Life came from Africa. Wake up people. Every country has something to offer to the world.  Every person has something to offer; at least a lot of them. Anyway, be nice. Reread your ten commandments. All things that everyone should use in daily life not as a religion but as a way of life. These are moral codes and they're all good. Just be nice and if you don't have anything nice to say-- don't type.



You know, one of the first things you learn in poker is that you deal with the cards you are dealt, you don't bitch about them.
So Dubya suggests that we limit our energy use a month after he says it's the American way to use all we can afford.  Then he gets on his jet plane for another day of photo ops. Doesn't this bother anyone?
Re: Issues in New Orleans. Flood Chicago and see what happens; try New York. You live in the Florida Keys, it's hardly America. It's what America was 50 years ago, not today. Get a grip on it man. If we don't help all of our brothers, then you have to buy a gun. Bob Dylan said; "You can be in my dream if I can be in your's".
My definition of snowbirds are the ones that come here and take our resources and try to change everything to be like were they come from. There would be plenty of money for us if just tourist came. Snowbirds take do not give.
It's the birthday of Ed Sullivan, born in New York City (1902). He was writing a gossip column for the New York Daily News called "Little Old New York," moonlighting now and then as a master of ceremonies at variety shows and benefits. He was emceeing a dance contest when somebody asked him if he'd like to try hosting a show on this new thing called television.

The Ed Sullivan Show premiered live on CBS in 1948, and within a few years about 50 million people watched it every Sunday night. It was like vaudeville. It had opera singers, ventriloquists and magicians and pandas on roller skates and big stars. Ed Sullivan said, "Open big, have a good comedy act, put in something for children, and keep the show clean."

He was a shy, awkward man, but he loved performers. He personally chose every guest for his show. He was one of the first hosts to invite black performers, including Jackie Robinson, Duke Ellington, Richard Pryor, and James Brown.

Ed Sullivan: the last television host who tried to appeal to everyone in America.
Packer truck. Thank God someone spoke up for Jerry. He truly was a wonderful dad to Binky and a loyal Packer fan. He spent most of his spare time at the field, running to activities, helping with homework, not drinking.


I have a better idea for the beer companies. They shouldn't sell anymore beer to guys with beer  guts. Men don't seem to care how ugly that looks.
Drunks, low lifes, street pharmacy, Jews, arson, dead drunks. All sent in by “Fun in the sun." You need a new e-mail address anyway. How about “grim reaper in the sun”, or “pessimist in the sun” or “slander in the sun” or “son of a bitch in the sun”? That is truly the funniest thing I have ever read on this blog.
I believe it was W.C. Fields who said nothing good ever comes out of Africa.
On a positive note, the snowbirds do spend money down here. But, and this is a big but (no NJ women pun intended), the snowbirds are weather wimps of the worst kind, constantly harping about the heat down here if it gets over seventy-five degrees. Let the truth be known, these people just don't have the guts to stick out the winters in their beloved northern palaces. I suggest they sell their "shacks" down here, and use the proceeds to fortify their northern homes for winter. Buy bigger furnaces, add radiant heat, buy bigger TVs, etc.
20Q.net Click here to play Twenty Questions.
I beg you, let's not have nine months of snowbird bashing.  It has been a week and it is tedious already.  They bring lots of money your way, so kwityerbellyakin.


When are you people going to learn? It's "I couldn't care less", not "I could care less".
A congressional panel on Tuesday is expected to scrutinize the decision to keep ousted Federal Emergency Management Agency chief Michael Brown on the federal payroll.
This is the last correspondence from our marine friend who died in Iraq Saturday.. His body should arrive in 3-10 days. He'll have a full military and firefighter's funeral, Catholic mass.

Thursday, September 15, 2005
I'm still alive. Well folks sorry i havent blogged recently. Been a little busy. Almost got wacked again this morning. that makes 5 times in the last 2 weeks. I lost 1 of my iraqis today from an IED. I tried everything i could but he couldnt hang on. This area is the worst place in iraq. To tell you about a typical day , it starts off by mortar rnds earliy in the mornig then i run about 3 to 4 missions a day. Usually with and IED or mortar and small arms fire of some sort. then we have our nightly mortar barrage followed by more missions. Ive lost about 11 guys in my Company to injuries, the other companies even more. This place is the wild west. But im doing allright. I write more when i have time theres also alot of things I cant discuss. PLease keep praying for me so that I can make it home in one piece. If you havent seen our team web page please take a look. www.mittiraq.blogspot.com
Love Brian


How cute!
Here's a little "after the storm" humor. You live on the gulf coast if:
You know the difference between the "good side" and the "bad side."
You have FEMA's number on your speed dial.
You have more than 300 'C' and 'D' batteries in your kitchen drawer.
Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti Os.
You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood covering your windows.
When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has three bedrooms, two baths, and one safe hallway.
You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.
You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular unleaded.
The road leading to your house has been declared a No-Wake Zone.
You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the pool.
Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight.
There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.
You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel and every single newscaster and reporter at all of the major stations in town.
You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit during the summer.
Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you didn't go to Ole Miss!
Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it's Christmas.
The man who owned the Green Truck you speak of was named Jerry. He was a very good man who worked hard and raising his kids alone. He gave a lot of his time to BPAA working as a coach. I don't believe he had a drinking problem. He died from Leukemia. It came on very fast after hurricane Georges. The truck is in very bad repair, the man "Jerry" was not. I'm sorry you are so full of hate.
What you see below are not see-thru skirts. They are actually prints on the skirts to make it look as if the panties are visible and these are the current rage in Japan. I think all of the AARP crowd should consider getting at least one. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

Wednesday September 28, 2005

 

Tuesday September 27, 2005
Don Adams of 'Get Smart' Dies at 82 Don Adams, the wry-voiced comedian who starred as the fumbling secret agent Maxwell Smart in the 1960s TV spoof of James Bond movies, "Get Smart," has died. He was 82.

Barbara Feldon and Don Adams, co-stars of the spy spoof show "Get Smart," expose the arsenal of weapons and gimmicks in her coat lining in Los Angeles, Calif., on Sept. 10, 1965. Adams plays the role of Maxwell Smart, Agent 86, and Feldon, holding a telephone concealed in a compact, plays Agent 99.

As the inept Agent 86 of the super-secret federal agency CONTROL, Adams captured TV viewers with his antics in combating the evil agents of KAOS. When his explanations failed to convince the villains or his boss, he tried another tack: "Would you believe ... ?" It became a national catchphrase.

Re: Ed and diamond. Personally Ed, I have never eaten a diamond or smoked one or any other rock for that matter. So I still wonder what good or useful thing has come from Africa?



Yes the invaders are back, and they're as loud and obnoxious as ever.  Yeah Snowbirds!
I once enjoyed reading this page every day. I don't anymore. There is too much hate. Pathetic.
Our country has become a rogue state, a predator and I am sick.
For the record: Once again I must write to correct misinformation that in this case is slander of the worst kind - that against a person who has passed and can't defend himself. Mr. G. Maddason states that the previous owner of the infamous "Packers Truck" drank himself to death. How terribly shameful to sully the name of Jerry Lindeman, the owner of the vehicle and an incorrigible Packers fan. Jerry passed away from a terrible form of Cancer that took him in a matter of weeks. He was a wonderful father, founder of little league baseball here in BPK , a great tradesman, an honest and respected citizen, and a sorely missed friend. How dare this uninformed cretin make such terrible statements about someone who he obviously had no knowledge. You are a disgusting individual.
Artist Eric Grohe. It's amazing what an artist can do with a can of paint.
Re: Tara at Paradise Petroleum moving. I wish I could start a rumor of selling to a Wal-Mart Superstore or we are taking bids from McDonalds and Burger King but the truth is my Mom and Dad still own it and operate it.  David, the girls and I are the only ones moving.  I want to thank you all for your well wishes.  I truly do appreciate them as this decision to move was not an easy one.  As I stated before, I will honestly miss Big Pine Key.  Thank you all again.  I will write more soon.
Welcome to Engrish.com! a Japanese t-shirt site with a good name.
Maybe we can bring the Packers truck to New Orleans and park it in a K Mart.  Someone will loot it's parts and get rid of it for once and for all.
Re: Insider trading. Dr No, No? Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn.) today said that he had done nothing wrong when he sold his shares of the nation's largest hospital chain, HCA Inc., from a blind trust and that he had no information about the company's finances that was not available to the public. The sale was made in advance of a warning that the earnings had weakened at HCA, which was founded in 1968 by Frist's father and brother.
Issues in New Orleans and the surrounding areas are not about what color skin the person has, but they are about what these people, no matter what ethnicity, are doing in that area. Raping others, stealing out of destroyed houses, fighting, and rioting. They aren't making it easy to be helped, and then they complain about how "No one is even trying to help them." A group of volunteers tried to help at the Dome, but the people got so violent, the volunteers had to leave for fear of their own safety.
 
I don't see it as a bunch of blacks in distress, I see it as a bunch of people in distress. Did you know before Brown resigned, he sent a letter requesting people to be trained over a several month period of time in Florida and Georgia, then sent to New Orleans and the surrounding areas as to, (And I quote!) "Promote a positive image of all efforts being put forth."
 
And image? That's what this is all about? A positive image? Thank god he's gone.

Hillary for President? Yeehaw, I'll get to give 60% of my money to taxes so poor folks (a.k.a. lazy folks) can buy junk food and stay home and watch TV!
Divorce lawyer: If the ex-crackhead had her children full time it would interfere with her bad habits. That might drive her crazier. I would ask for child support and spousal support from her. Keep a log of every drug and bad parenting incident she pulls. If she gets arrested for drugs, it would go well for your side. Get her medical records. Good luck!

Yo, Paradise Petroleum.  Are you closing your doors?  Have you sold the business to someone who will continue to operate it?  What’s the full scoop.  I’m sure sorry to see you go because we really need the competition to keep Tom Thumb and True Value in line.


I think that when they begin rebuilding New Orleans they should use the looters to pave the streets.  It should work if they spread them thin enough!
Not that I am looking to hide my comment about that hideous Packers truck outside of the even more hideous dive known to us as Key Deer Bar, but I wish our famous editor would clear up his submission guidelines.  I did not name a specific person just a place of business like those that are named every day by many people here.  Many people in here even name Capt Dan by name and do not have their names or email addresses posted. 

I could really care less if people read my email address on a comment I made about the dive filled with drunks.  I will gladly tell anyone I don't care for drunks drinking outside from paper bags and drug sales going on in the parking lot where children can see as they pass by getting off the school bus.  I have seen many postings that do name people by name and do not have the author's name or email.  A perfect example is all of the postings naming Darren Bell by name and one mentioning the Little Palm Island Human resources director by name and no author's name or email address.  I ask everyone to take a look at the submission guidelines posted on this website by our editor.  Then I ask the famous editor who hides behind the name of "ED" to clearly explain how naming Key Deer Bar and Montego Bar, two businesses not people, end up with an email address posted but ones naming Darren Bell and the Human resources director at Little Palm by name do not constitute the addresses published.  Any comments ED?
(Ed: Yesterday you slandered the dead owner of the truck and accused the owners of Montego Bay of arson. And a bar of drug dealing. Darren Bell was arrested and is on the public record. I don't remember the Little Palm Manager posting. If I missed that one I apologize to Ms. Stiles for not printing the writer's name.)


Found cat / kitten? Call Michele 872.5051 / 849.1270 cell
Please stop bashing the Catholic Church.  I was raised in a wonderful Catholic home and was taught to love my neighbor and not to judge anyone (that is God's job).  My faith has gotten me through some pretty tough times, including the death of a parent when I was just a child. I love the Keys and feel blessed to have the opportunity to live here..
Re: Paradise. Yes, this is my little piece of paradise.  Every time I have to drive to Miami I thank my lucky stars I am able to live here.  There may be pretty places in the world but for continental United States this is it for me!  I'm sure many others agree.


I've got this great idea for the beer companies. When a woman buys a twelve pack, after every third beer there should be a gag and a twelve inch piece of duct tape to hold it in place. I know we would miss out on a lot of wisdom, but think of all the fights that could be avoided.

Kudos to Bellsouth DSL Tech Support.  They spent over an hour with me trying to resolve a connectivity issue that prevented me from accessing the Internet.  At one point I had the tech support rep and a line technician on the phone.  They (we) tried everything conceivable to resolve what I considered to be a problem on their end.  Being unable to solve the problem they scheduled a technician to call me the next day at an appointed time to try again and if that did not resolve the problem they would send a tech to my house.  Being fairly tech savvy myself I later discovered that my security and firewall software had decided on its own to bloc the connection perceiving it to be a threat.  Thanks Bellsouth for all your efforts.
For those of you who are worried about the snowbirds coming, that cause long lines. The lines are the same for the snowbirds and you don't hear them complain. The lines that are long at the bank are caused by the business people of the Keys depositing money the snowbirds came with. Some in line are withdrawing more to spend in the Keys. It is a good thing the snowbirds come down because the Keys would be one of the biggest welfare counties in Florida. You would not have a problem with affordable housing if the snowbirds didn't come as there would be lots of houses available. However, you could not afford them as there is no industry for income.  So enjoy the fine snowbirds and spend the money left here in the summer when they are home making more money to spend in the Keys.
Don't gripe about the snowbirds. You were one once.

Re: Wisconsin. Every state in the Union was required to adapt a welfare reform system in 1996 with the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act, which was again modified in 1998 through the Workforce Investment Act.   All welfare recipients who are able to work or participate in work-related activities must do so or be sanctioned and lose their public assistance.  You might be interested to know that in 1998 Monroe County had more than 700 welfare recipients; the average caseload is now 40 county-wide. 



I heard they are going to paint the Packers truck up to be a Vikings truck. Finally some sense from these Cheeseheads.
Excerpt from an E-mail from Louisiana:
.....those of us in La. know who screwed up this disaster. Our Governor, the levee board, the Corps of Engineers and the New Orleans Mayor are primarily to blame with the incompetence of FEMA being secondary.

The looting and robbery here has been bad and white people are afraid to go out and start cleaning up. You won't see it on TV, since we're not even close to being newsworthy considering all the deprivation, death and suffering being reported. Our parish took in the first 600 evacuees, and put them up in one of our brand new high schools located next to I-10.

In l0 hours they had trashed the school, torn out urinals, ripped the bleachers out of the gym and trashed the classrooms and computers! Nearly everything of value was stolen or needlessly destroyed by these animals. We moved them, plus 600 more to a place across the Interstate and at the expo center. By the next night, there were 3 car jackings and 3 armed robberies. Not to mention this location also being looted, trashed and ruined. We will be moving from this area after living here for more than 25 years as soon as....



Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

Regarding the lowlife piece of crap that commented on the Packer truck. I could care less what you say about the truck and I hate the Packers, but you crossed the line when you started badmouthing the former owner of the truck. You very obviously never knew Jerry at all for you to say such rude and insensitive and absolutely wrong things about him and how he died. The man died of leukemia. Last that I heard it is not caused by drinking or driving a Packer truck. Jerry was a good man, but you are a real horse's ass.

Re: Unintelligible sign on house. I think that a lot of those signs we see (also, on this site) are made while the writer is under the influence.

Why do shorts always turn themselves inside out when you wash them in the washing machine? How do they know?



Wow, the roach coach roadside concession on Big Coppitt's got the best coffee I've had down here in years. Where the hell did that come from?
"D" Saturday night boat ride for "Jus a little bit"?

Tuesday September 27, 2005

 

Monday September 26, 2005
Re: Locals. If your homestead exemption lists Big Pine Key as your primary residence--you're a local.
Does anyone know of a lawyer for a divorce? I'm a single father raising two kids on my own. I sold my business to raise my kids now I have a lower paying job and all of a sudden my crack head ex wants the kids because she can provide a larger home and makes better money then I do. Does anyone have any ideas?

I read the message from Capt. Dan about the Packer truck and yard clean-up.  It’s good to know you’re addressing those things as they’re really needed.  Best of luck with your efforts.  I’ll stop in from time to time for a brew and see how it’s coming along!
Re: Local's are what?  Only people who have generations here in Big Pine Key are locals?  Many so called "locals" in this community were born and raised in other areas of the country. I live here and consider myself a local.  I am a Florida born from Miami and that will always be my home.  Someone from New Jersey or New York or New Orleans for that matter can be locals if they live here full time.  This is a town and isn't owned by "locals" only, it is a town that people are free to live and enjoy and should be treated in the same manner.  Visitors violating rights of homeowners during their stay have nothing to do with this subject.  I am a local as long as I live in the Keys and I will be local if I decide to move full-time elsewhere if I choose.  Some transplanted locals think they have rights above others and that's in their pickled minds.

Thomas Jefferson paid the French to purchase Louisiana. Can we return it and get our money back? We could offer that they don't have to give the money back if they keep the governor.
Does anybody know where to find a Big Pine Key beer coozie?
Some guy is on a crusade to distribute an encyclopedia in 9 languages to bring people's IQ up to a level where they could not be so easily duped by governments and other con artists. The languages are: Geek, Spic, Spook, Honky, Greaser, Nazi, Gook, Trailer trash, and Commie. You can get a free copy by writing to the US Printing Office, Washington D.C.  Other languages are pending.
When people refer to the Keys as "paradise", do they really mean it? Do they thing this is really paradise or do they mean it tongue and cheek?



Re: Ouch II. They should bury Brett Favre in the old Packer truck. Neither one of them runs very well anymore.
Intelligent design (creationism) is going before the courts today. Will this be another of Bush's legacies? Teaching our children to deny science and to replace it with faith? This is another good argument for the complete separation of Church and State.
Re: Paradise Petroleum moving. Have they sold the business? Are they building a Wal-Mart there?
On Sunday this signage appeared in my neighborhood.  Could the writer please refrain from misspellings?  I must be stupid as I can't make out one of them.
Re: Roofers. We used Victor's Roofing in Marathon. He is an excellent roofer and very honest. The job was done right.
Re: Paradise Petro moving. Good luck Tara. The very best to you. I never met you, but I know you fed my dog plenty of treats thru the years.
I heard Classic Carpet is closing.  Will they keep the Big Pine store open? I've used them for a long time and would hate to see them go.
Re: "homosexuals from its priesthood. After sweeping the issue under the rug for many years...." This is not true! We never used a carpet, we used the Confessional. What do you think that hole in the wall was for?

They forgot to check the oil. Why is there no oil? The reason for that is purely geographical. Our oil is located in Alaska, California, Coastal Florida, Coastal Louisiana, Kansas, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania and Texas. Our dipsticks are located in Washington DC.
We will miss all of you (Tara and family). Have a safe trip and keep us informed of how things are going.
I can't wait for Hillary to be president in 2008. This will only happen if  Al Gore (I invented everything) decides not to run. If he runs all bets are off.
Re: Paradise Petro moving. Tara, I'm glad you guys are moving on and I wish you the best of luck. Please email me pictures of the girls so I can add them to the ones I already have.

Talk about stereotypical:  I was sitting at my favorite spot in my favorite restaurant/bar (Parrotdise) having my evening martini and contemplating steak or fish when a couple came in and sat near my spot.  It took about 20 seconds to identify them as Jerseyites or “Yokers.’  They were insulting from the time they opened their mouths.  Talking loudly enough to be heard across the room, bitching about everything, liking nothing.  Typical loud mouth, crude, repulsive, arrogant and belligerent behavior common to these crum-balls.  The invasion has started.
Re: Catholic Church. They're banning celibate gays from the church. What would have happened if the straight priests were diddling young girls? Would they ban celibate straight priests? I've mostly found Catholics to be hypocritical in their politics.
Today the IRA has laid down all their weapons (after only 400 years). I think they forgot what they were fighting for. At least it'll be one less terrorist group in the world.
Our Catholic community welcomes gay humans into the church with open arms.  They believe that the gay should be celibate, but accept them.  They have had masses in the past for gay's.  What's the problem with that?  Are they not people with faith?  If they choose to be two human beings that live together and love each other and want faith in their lives, they should be allowed to practice their faith.  Many "Christians" have married divorced, cheated, lied and much more and they are accepted after confession.  Is that not what faith is all about?

Why don't we just get rid of Africa? We could fill in New Orleans with it and have dirt left over. Hurricanes come from there. What good thing has come from Africa? (Ed: Diamonds?)
I hope with all the rude and insensitive comments posted about Paradise Petroleum, that they get the last laugh and sold out to McDonalds!
Catholic priests who have sex with boys are definitely gay; otherwise they would be having sex with girls.

For those of you who hate prejudiced people, I suggest you take a reality look at this world. If any of you can show me a place anywhere that has no prejudice, I'll be glad to move there.  Prejudice is the perfect tool used by governments and rulers to keep us peasants occupied by hating something other than them.  Revolts are only kindled by the masses who have the same hate towards their oppressors. If hate is spread out into different ideals, no revolt can take place with a small number of citizens. 
Re: Ouch! That Packers truck looks like hell in front of Key Deer Bar.  I guess if we must have an eyesore parked somewhere in should be at Key Deer.  It might keep people from noticing the low lifes drinking outside from paper bags and will deter people from seeing the street pharmacy behind the building.  The people at Key Deer say the truck "Has Big Pine History."  It does.  It was owned by a drunk who drank himself to death.  Then it was parked rusting in front of Montego Bay until there was a case of Jewish Lightning there after the place had money problems.  Can anyone say "ARSON?"  The truck, bartender and drunks from Montego Bay moved up to Key Deer Bar.  Now the truck has more rust, more dents but still sits illegally parked in front of a dive where the same group of drunks hand around drinking and mourn another drunk who drank himself to death.  The only positive thing to come of the story is the drunk drank himself to death before he killed someone as he drove that piece of junk Packers truck drunk.  God rest his soul.
     -G Maddason [funinthesun_34@hotmail.com]

The Senility Prayer. Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Fanci seafood / E-fish. Thanks for keeping one of Carolyn's good deeds going. Even if she is gone. I was there when that was started and I'm thankful that it's going to be continuing. Way to go; and good luck!

Anti-Semite. Re: Simon Wiesenthal died this week. Too bad?  No, he should have died at birth. The Nazi's were right.  What happened in Germany, Poland, Russia, etc., is happening here. We're getting blintzed again.
Evacuation account. Long Winded Tomes.
Did you notice?  All the evacuation measures taken in Texas included the message, "Bring your pets with you."  All that was asked was that they be in carriers or cages, Then they were welcomed on the buses provided.  Well done!  Let's hope this trend continues.
Enough already with the Packers truck. Gee, Capt. Dan was nice enough to take the damn thing to his place. And let's face it Big Pine Key has plenty more eyesores than that truck. When I think of "beautiful community", Big Pine is not the first place that comes to mind. I do like Winn Dixie though. The parking lot has some of the most stunning roosters in the USA.

Monday September 26, 2005