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Archives of Old Kudos and Whiners

November 2005

Wednesday November 30, 2005


Today is the official end to Hurricane Season. Hurray! I don't think I can handle much more. I'm still surprised how the rest of the country doesn't know how much we were damaged by Wilma.
I would like to know how it is ok for the person who accused the Winn Dixie manager of getting two women pregnant while working. How does this person know when a particular woman conceived? Even if this person was one of the supposed women, how could they know for sure when another woman conceived? And what is allowed by the editor to be said about someone? This is a vicious rumor that could end up hurting this man's career and family. It's all fine and dandy to whine and b*tch about matters that affect them, but to disparage a man's name and reputation is uncalled for. More than the fact that you should have included that person's email address, I think you should ban them from participating on this site.
Cute manager at W/D in Marathon. So he used his cuteness to score girls. Are you jealous? I am.
How have the flea market family contributed to the community for 35 years? I'm not criticizing, but someone said it yesterday and I'm curious.

Ginger, AKA Spinny, Spin-Boldak, Snora-Bora, Old Gal, Spinderella, Herm, Hermy and Girlfriend et al.  She went to Doggie Heaven one day shy of her 15th birthday.  She was (is) much loved.  So Long Old Gal.
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn
louder."
Ed: Graphics are seasonally apropos.  You do a good job. Many Thanks for continuing to be here.  Good Day. (Ed: thanks for the flag.)
To the person who responded to the denial of torture using a quote regarding torture statistics by Army personnel. You didn't cite where this quote came from. I don't know where it came from and I have no way of knowing if what you say is true. What I do know is that the US Army and Dept. of Defense does not tolerate torture or abuse of prisoners. Recent high profile courts martial cases and countless investigations support the fact that this type of behavior is not tolerated. Obviously, it has occurred and guilty parties have been court marshaled. Now are you more proud of being an American?
Calgon. Take me away!


I'm going to miss the "Hello Neighbors, Hi Bubba's and Hello Sweetheart's" I heard almost every day for the last 11 years.  You were amazing.
Here we go again. Iraqi diaper-heads have kidnapped peacemakers. Why on earth would anyone voluntarily go into a war zone in a militant country where your head could be chopped off for having blue eyes?
Come on Ed.  Enough of the Bacon Grease Lady already.
I have to share this information with everyone who is calling the 800 number for DirecTV. Last week I called the 800 number for DirecTV, and they told me that my installation would take about 2 months, then my neighbor told me about the Phone Depot who is a local DirecTV dealer. I went to the Phone Depot here in Big Pine, and filled out a work order, and that same week I got installed. These guys are great, and it seems that not too many locals know about them. So, here's the scoop guys, call the Phone Depot. You can't imagine how happy I got when they showed up on the day and time frame they had given me. Thumbs up guys, keep up the good work!
$100 Reward for Bright Orange Tabby Male Cat, Semi-Long Hair and Orange Nose.  "Snooty" has been seen around Eden Pines and has been lost from his Wilder-area home since Wilma.  Owner is heartbroken and his other furry friends too.  Please try to pick-up "Snooty" and ring Cathy at 797-0892.  He is trying to get Home and needs your help. 
animals available this week:
1. Carter is a Shi-Tzu mix who LOVES everyone -- extremely friendly and affectionate, and cute to boot!
2. Mimi is a gorgeous Pit Bull mix who loves to pose for the camera -- and she's very photogenic.
3.  Parker is a Chocolate Lab who LOVES to swim.
4.  Tico is a big guy -- part Great Dane who would do well with a lot of attention.
 
Come see these and our other fantastic animals at 10550 Aviation Boulevard, Marathon, or 279 Industrial Road. 
 
 And don't forgot our low-cost spay/neuter clinic, scheduled for December 4th at the Big Pine Clinic.  For more information, or to inquire about any of these fantastic pets, give us a call at 305 743 3779.
I'm disappointed that not one person has spoken against our use of torture. it appears that most of the responses are based solely on revenge and Piners agree with our use of torture.
Kind of makes you think about how little time we all have on this earth, and how valuable it really is. Try not to waste it.

A lot has been going on with the Mile Marker 24 gang. We are in Las Vegas as I am writing this and we are looking forward to heading back to the Keys later this week. We are then off to Nashville next week to start work on our new CD. This will be released in March.  We will keep you posted.

 

Also, we are excited to return home this weekend and will be playing our favorite place. The Looe Key Tiki Bar on Ramrod Key. We will be there both Friday and Saturday night. December 2nd and 3rd. If you are in the area, please stop by and party with us. As always, have a free margarita on the band. Also, we have a lot of new Mile Marker 24 apparel that we will be selling. Part of the proceeds will be donated to the American Red Cross.

 

Also, Howard Livingston will appear live on US1 Radio on Friday December 2nd at 10:00 AM eastern time. Tune in on the radio or over the Internet at www.us1radio.com. He will be performing one of our new songs to be recorded in Nashville next week.

My cat is a big pussy and afraid of rats. He saw one of the Key's big rats and hauled ass in the other direction. I guess he implied that I am on my own with the rat problem. I heard a rumor that if you keep a New Jersey woman in the house, the rats won't come near the place, but then there is the NJ woman to deal with. I have to think about which is worse.
I will raise my doughnut everyday to the guy who likes big women. Here's to you!
About the people who got money from FEMA that really didn't get affected from the storm. That's true and the people who got lots of damage got 0 dollars from wonderful FEMA.  Yes, I am one.  I pay $500 a week in taxes and they said to me, "Sorry, but you get nothing."  It's a shame. 

I am tired paying taxes and always get stepped on.  Here we go, people don't want to work, they get food stamp and money and a disaster happens and they get lucky, but we get stepped on with all the high paying taxes and high insurance.  We are just rewarded for being hard working people who love to live a good life.

To the person who wrote about the manager of Winn Dixie that got the two girls pregnant. Get it correct because the new managers there are new.  They seem to be very nice and very good looking, I agree.  That's a big plus.  They are young but you can really call them eye candy.  Stop being so negative. Trust me, it's not that fool that got the two girls pregnant.  I couldn't stand him myself.  And I agree the store looks so much better but the health and beauty section need some stocking.  And be thankful we don't have of  lots of Haitians working here that don't speak English.
They do make a car cover for older cars but it really is a kind of large waterproof bag that you do drive your car into. It's like a giant-sized waterproof rafting wag. (?)
I am curious. Has anyone actually seen a big woman eat? In public they eat salads and drink water. Where the heck are they getting all the calories to support their ever-increasing mass? Are they like air plants or something? What the hell are they consuming? Is it safe to stand near them?
I think they should call the car baggie a car condom, or for you infomercial loving folks, "Kar Kondom." It would come in lubricated and non-lubricated styles. Bonus points: it also could be used for keeping your Cow Palace Heifer dry during a rainstorm. I suggest selling them for three payments of $19.95, but wait, there's more...
Ok, Sorry about the car bags, I can spell, I just can't type Ok. Some antique dealers do indeed use them to protect their $500,000.00 cars. Yes, they do drive over them and then bring the sides up to form an airtight bag.
Anybody that thinks the flea market should go is out of their friggin' mind. It is a great community asset.
Re: W/D. Please indicate which W/D you are talking about. We don't want the BP W/D manager confused with the Marathon manager, James (also known as the man with many wives and under age teen heart throbs.) Sadly, everything that was said yesterday is true.
A word about rat poison. Yep, the rats die inside your walls and stink for months, they really stink. Worst than that is when they crawl outside to die and one of our prey birds swoops down and eats the rat, the rat poison then kills the bird.

The lady at Wild Bird Rescue tells me that rat poison kills more birds than anything else around. So let's use traps. Rats love raw bacon, just tie it on with a little dental floss and use a baggie, latex or rubber gloves when removing the dead rat. I know, I know, traps are a pain but we really need our birds. After you've done a couple you'll think nothing of it, plus you'll have "bragging rights."

 If you can spare a buck or two, I'm sure the Wild Bird Rescue lady can use it for food and medicine for the sick birds.
Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force; like a fire, a troublesome servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action. - George Washington
To the person talking about the injustice of the tortured terrorists. You are still missing the point--We don't care!.
I have been extremely happy with my Metro PC phone.  There are no contracts (can’t find that anywhere else), can call anywhere, any time, for as long as you want, you get all of the extras, voice mail, text messaging, etc.  for like $5 a month.  It’s a great deal. The only bad point is service only goes to Palm Beach or so, but if you don’t leave too often, like me, your good to go. 
What's this about homeowners not being allowed to rebuild after a hurricane because it's considered new construction and FEMA won't insure for flood? All because of the endangered deer? Whatever happened to "government of the people, by the people, for the people?" Maybe it should be "of the deer, by the deer, for the deer?
To the guy who wanted to bring his family to the "Oceanside Swimming Hole" on Big Pine Key. Don't do it. You are referring to the Blue Hole, which isn't really oceanside at all and is occupied by a large crocodile. If you let your kids swim there, they will become lunch for the croc. Or maybe that's what you really wanted.
Conch & Stein reopening?  I doubt it.  They were losing their arse with crummy food and lousy service except for the Tiki bar out back.  The Tiki was their one and only redeeming quality.  Don’t look for them to re-open anytime soon.  And, thanks to Monroe County and their oppressive rules, it’s doubtful anyone else would buy the joint and try to make of go of it. 

Stand by everyone.  As one business after another closes and no one can afford to buy in and deal with the county Gestapo it won’t be long before U.S. 1 looks like a boarded-up slum.  Of course, that will make the tree huggers and the Big Pine Watchdogs more than happy
Can someone tell me who Joseph Nuck was?  I moved from Eden Pines a few months ago.  My neighbors name was Joe,  a very nice man.  I never new his last name.  Was he the guy that walked his dog down Bittersweet every morning,  I believe he was originally from Astoria NY.

Wednesday November 30, 2005

 

Tuesday November 29, 2005



A sincere heartfelt thank you from Joseph Nuck's daughter Monika Wittliff and family for all the kindness you have shown us since we have arrived. My dad's service will be held at St. Peter's church on Wednesday November 30th at 4pm. Any cards and flowers can be sent to the church.
Re: In denial of torture. "During the past few months declassified documents and testimony from Army officers show that torture and abuse of prisoners has become widespread since 9/11. 44 prisoners who died over there while in US custody show signs of torture. Autopsy reports on them use words like "strangulation," "asphyxiation" and "blunt force injuries."

Certainly a reasonable person can ascertain from the Army's own documents that we are torturing prisoners with more than bright lights and loud music. Lights don't cause blunt force injuries or strangulation. Or do you deny any report that disagrees with your view? If this is the kind of America you want there is nothing I can do.
FEMA benefits. I have a neighbor who lives on stilts and had no wind or water damage. How is it she has received cash, new washer, dryer, food, etc.?  And the people that really have lost can get nothing.  I do believe this is called fraud, or am I wrong?  Maybe all of us tax payers should get together and make our government aware of who they are.  Shame on you low life's out there, not always but sometimes what goes around does come back around and you know who you are!  Watch out.  









Re: rat problem. Just get a cat.  It'll run all your rats out in no time.  Keeps them away too.
Can someone tell me how to get to the Oceanside swimming hole in Big Pine Key? My wife and kids looked for it last week and couldn't find it. We live in Tavernier and our kids were really looking forward to it.
I think it is sick that someone is talking about how cute this new manager at Winn-Dixie is. You need to realize that this is the same guy who got two different girls pregnant on the clock while working! He was taking them in the upstairs conference room and bending them over while they were supposed to be working! Winn Dixie just brushed it under the rug by making one girl work at a different store. How cute is he now?
I would like to know who wrote about the flea market and how they would be glad if it was a ballpark. Well it has been a vital part of Big Pine since 1981 or 1982. Yes it has brought a lot of traffic to Big Pine but it has also kept the snowbirds on Big Pine too. Instead of them going to Key West for a day of shopping they stay here.

I think that if you want a ballpark you should give up your place of business so that they could make one there. Watson park has been there for at least 25 years and no one has tried to do much improving to it. I don't see snowbirds spending the day at the ball park eating and shopping and spending their money on the island. The family that owns the property where the Flea Market sits is a fine family and they have contributed to the community for 35 years. Some of them have moved away and some are still in the community and those that are gone still monitor the nasty things that you locals have to say.
Of all the islands in all of the Caribbean , why do the Stupid People have to come to Key West?  Many fly here, others come by boat, but many, oh, so many, drive.  Be it on a bicycle
or a scooter or even walking. Oh, yes, they walk into the sides of buildings, into cars, into each other, but far and away the worst thing they do is drive, or maybe, stop...like on the 7 mile bridge and say "Oh look Marge, water." Or make left hand turns from right lanes without even looking, or running stop signs and lights.  And they're impatient. They pass on the left when a double yellow line is there, or on the right into the dirt. People get killed this way.  So citizens all
be warned. To drive up and down the highway is to risk your life, and to, God forbid, enter into
Key West borders on sheer insanity.
Big kudos to Big Pine Liquors. You guys have done a hell of a job with the lights. Looks great and I'm one who knows about Christmas lights. Signed, Mike of the Christmas truck.
To the person stating that our Senators and Congress do not pay into Social Security. This is totally false according to Snopes.com.  It's another one of those urban legends that keep circulating on the Internet.  I wish people would check these things out before spreading more crap.  Check out the link below. http://www.snopes.com/politics/taxes/pensions.asp
I was really sad to hear that my account executive for 98.7 Conch FM and US 1 Radio 104.1 FM, Roberta DePiero, was retiring from the Radio station. She has been an asset for our business for the last five years. She was truly a pleasure to work with for our advertising needs. I have always loved hearing her from the many remotes around town and could keep up on the happenings in town.  I don't think the new management knows what they are losing. I understand she will be working with her husband as they are staying in town.
Metro PCS is a great company. Quick and easy and very cheap too. But don't go to the one in Key West next to Lantana Ins. Company. They are rude and slow. The Big Pine store is a great one. Good luck with it. And, no, I had service all over, besides like a mile off the island in a boat. If your a Picnic Island fan, don't even bother taking it out there.
Joe Nuck will be missed by all. His friendly hello's made a new comer feel welcomed to our community in Eden Pines.
Kudos to the person praising the BP W/D.  We work hard to keep it going under all kinds of
corporate problems.  Yes, we do have a good manager and hope he stays for a long time.




Has anyone met the guy who likes us heavier girls? I would be curious to know if he is for real or not. Any feedback postings will be appreciated. I'll post too if I meet him. Thanks Girls.
I wouldn't mind a ballpark instead of the flea market. it sure would improve our traffic problem.
Do not gut your downstairs enclosure if it is more than 4 years old. Judge Payne ruled the county cannot force you to gut your downstairs.  Nor are you to be harassed by code enforcement. Check the ruling.
I am moving in a week. I need some traveling money. Anyone need a hard worker for a few days? I will do most anything. keywestbarter@yahoo.com
Dear "Pissed Off Across the Pond"... On the Greg Proops anti-Brit thing– Well, I posted the quote mostly because it was Thanksgiving-related comedy. Greg Proops is no pseudonym. He is a stand-up comic, (that particular quote was taken from his half-hour stand-up special on Comedy Central). He garnered recognition from the British improv show "Whose Line is it Anyway?" with Clive Anderson, (and eventually joined the show's move to the U.S. with Drew Carey). Mr. Proops also voices Bob the Builder. He's been on several BBC specials, (he lived in England for quite a while). And, if you can honestly tell me British comics don't mock the U.S., that's just a steamin' shovel-load. Don't get your knickers in a knot... it's just comedy. www.gregproops.com
Re: A true friend. A true friend is one who has never left to start with.
If anyone in Port Pine Heights lost a blue/green wooden row boat with a shark painted on the bow and a skull and crossbones on the stern and misses it, they can pick it up on Blue Lagoon St., south west side, about half-way down the block, near the canal.
I enjoyed the picture of the Cracked Egg!  I'm a tourist and I enjoy seeing pictures of the places that are discussed here. I hope to get back to the Keys sometime and it helps to know some background on places I hope to visit, or not.
Re: Congress and social security/retirement pensions.  I'm not sure who sent in the drivel regarding Congressmen not paying social security and how pensions are calculated but that note is just plain wrong!  Versions of your gripe have been floating around the internet for several years and are considered an urban legend.  If you're interested in knowing facts, here's a link that explains what Congressmen pay and how their pensions are calculated:  http://www.snopes.com/politics/taxes/pensions.asp.  As far as FEMA budgets are calculated, remember the Federal budget is signed into law months before the hurricane season begins.  I suspect there are more than a few people around who didn't plan their finances adequately this hurricane season given the number of evacuations, etc. 
Retired folks:  We do it because we earned it!
They're back!  I was at the Cow Palace the other night and I heard loud grating voices coming from a table engulfed by several Rubenesque women whining about everything in the Keys. It turns out they were snowbirds from New Jersey. Big surprise, no pun intended.
Who is the guy on the Harley Road King with the flames? That is the guy who changed the tire for the old couple down by Bahia Honda. That was somebody's parents coming to visit, and they wanted to thank him too.
A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Re: Auto Baggie Reward. What a misguided person is who wrote that insulting post saying that a plastic cover for antique cars would suffice to protect our vehicles from a flood and then saying that if we read the news we would see this.

A car cover is made to go over a car not under it. You would not be able to drive a car onto one. Where in the news has it been written to use car covers to protect from floods? Also you spelled "Duh" wrong. It is d-u-h not d-a-h. Do you feel good insulting someone you don't even know over such a petty issue? A better person would have said the same message in a kinder manner and it would have been received with less hostility. At least you didn't accuse me of being a tourist.
Anyone thinking of getting Direcway satellite internet should know that you have to wait forever for installation, (if they show up at all) and then a few months into that a technician has to come out and fix the dish because they haven't worked out all the bugs yet.  When the tech does come out, he complains about the company and how nobody tips. (we tip)  Then the billing dept. won't give you credit for lost time because their equip.. wasn't working right and they can't get anyone to come down here.  Wait a few more years and maybe a better company will come along.  For now, you're better off sticking with your land line!
(Ed: I think satellite internet is very slow.)
I hope they do open a Dunkin' Doughnuts in the Winn Dixie Plaza. That way the cops would be automatically drawn there, to their natural craving and need of doughnuts, rather than hanging out in front of the bars, pre-spotting cars and watching them leave the parking lots. Hic!
Re: ...anti-American stinking butt. Calling a writer anti-American for not condoning torture is a perfect example of how far America has deteriorated from our founding ideals.

Can you print this? To a wonderful and loving person who has been by my side through some very hard and sad times. I love you Rick with all heart. Have a wonderful birthday. Love, Tammy xox

Tuesday November 29, 2005

 

Monday November 28, 2005
Thanks again to the Southern Most Abate Chapter, and all the folks involved in yesterday's Toys for Tots run. That was awesome and a great day for it. A lot of good people and good riding! Oh, and Nancy ain't over 40. He, he, he.

Joseph Nuck.  He lived the American Dream.  He loved life, people and America.  He was a wonderful friend and neighbor and will be missed.  I always considered him to be the unofficial mayor of Eden Pines.  Rest In Peace Joe.
This game is slightly addictive. I couldn't stop until I placed all 50 states in their proper locations. Place The State - Intermediate

In denial of torture. The so called “Torture” issue is nothing more than the ultra liberal press running amok with a nothing story just to sell their media product.  No one has been “tortured” in the literal sense.  So some of those animals we’ve captured have gotten slapped around a little bit or some G.I. crapped in one of their holy books or we played loud music to break them down for information. So what?  Remember the 3000+ people that died at the World Trade Center?  The real problem is an American media hell bent on selling sensationalism for the sake of a profit.  The captured Taliban fighters deserve anything we can throw at them to get the intelligence information we need.  F**k the rag-head animals!
Local banks:  Like a lot of others, I lost my vehicle in the flood.  I went to my local bank (TIB) and inquired about a car loan for a replacement.  I was told to fill out an application and it would take 24-48 hours to get an approval and the interest rate would be “somewhere between about 6 and 18 percent” depending on my credit standing.  They were offering no special rates for flood victims. 

Meanwhile First State bank was offering special, low interest vehicle replacement loans with quick approval and the Keys Federal Credit Union was offering same day approval and 100% financing for replacement cars.  I am now in the process of changing banks and will be leaving TIB after many years and taking my accounts and future business to First State

Want to know why there's no FEMA money? Ask these guys.

Social Security: Our Senators and Congresswomen do not pay into Social Security and, of course, they do not collect from it.

You see, Social Security benefits were not suitable for persons of their rare elevation in society. They felt they should have a special plan for themselves. So, many years ago they voted in their "own" benefit plan. In more recent years, no congressperson has felt the need to change it. After all, it is a great plan.


For all practical purposes their plan works like this:

For example, Senator Byrd and Congressman White and their wives may expect to draw $7,800,000.00 (that's Seven Million, Eight-Hundred Thousand Dollars), with their wives drawing $275, 000.00 during the last years of their lives.

This is calculated on an average life span for each of those two Dignitaries.

Younger Dignitaries who retire at an early age, will receive much more during the rest of their lives. Their cost for this excellent plan is $0.00. Nada, zilch.


This little perk they voted for themselves is free to them. You and I pick up the tab for this plan. The funds for this fine retirement plan come directly from the General Funds. Or, in other words, we would have to collect our average of $1,000 monthly benefits for 68 years and one (1) month to equal "Senator" Bill Bradley's benefits!

Social Security could be very good if only one small change were made. That change would be to: Jerk the Golden Fleece Retirement Plan from under the Senators and Congressmen. Put them into the Social Security plan with the rest of us then sit back and see how fast they would fix it!

They have a similar medical plan. Take away their medical plan and very shortly hereafter we would have national health insurance.

I would like to thank FEMA and all of the regulation drafters in Monroe County for bending me over and shoving their inane and needless rules and regulations up my behind.  Because of them I now have to gut my downstairs enclosure.  It was never used for living, had no water, bathroom or meaningful furniture.  Just a window unit to de-humidify the air and keep my stored things from getting too rusted or mildewed.  Monroe County is getting more and more like a communist/dictatorship state every year with us already overburdened taxpayers getting more and more abuse.  And, hang on people, it ain’t over yet!
Re: W/D Manager. Oh, yes. Good looks always goes hand in hand with good service.  Thank God the manager's cute. Does he speak English?
Congrats on an appropriate choice of flag for Black Friday and the Shopping Season.
To the individual who is ashamed to be an American because during war, the beheading Muslim SOB's were "tortured" in Iraq. You can leave this great country anytime you want. What's keeping your anti-American stinkin" butt here? Go live in Iraq with your murdering Muslim buddies. Bye!


Those speedboats by No Name Key on Friday were loud and annoying, but they sure do look like fun!
I remember when you had to travel to Marathon or Key West to go to the supermarket. So, all this crap about a good looking clerk or manager at the Marathon Winn Dixie, is just that---crap. Be thankful you have a Winn Dixie in BPK. Think of all the moaning and groaning we'd be hearing if the BPK store closed--as 200 others have. And give credit where credit's due: We have a decent supermarket here, and don't care what the manager looks like!
 
This space is sounding more like the Citizen's Voice every hour.
I would like to comment on the idiot criticizing the police for stopping people driving 15 to 20 mph over the limit, instead of those who drive safely under the limit.  The posted speed limit is the maximum, not the minimum.
 
If you are going to be late by obeying the law, stop being a lazy A-hole and get up a little bit earlier. This way you have time to get to work on time and maybe even enjoy your drive to work.
The return of the bacon grease lady.

Thoughts from England. Can I remark on the entirely false diatribe by the obvious English hater Greg Proops.  (Why the pseudonym).  The English have never thought that all Americans were fat and stupid.  It stands to reason that some are slim.  As to sending all the Texas Militia, Hate groups and gun toting weirdoes here, that is obviously not possible.
 
The reasons for this are 1) There is is simply not enough room in the British Isles. 2) Texas would be empty.
The person quoting the origin of P&Q is half right. The customers who ran a tab and let it run out of control were warned to watch their P's & Q's.
A ball park in place of the flea market is a good idea. And maybe a pool and a decent park and playground for the kids too.
Re torture. Unfortunately it is a fact of war.  We only get to hear what "we" are doing; god only knows what is happening to our guys that get detained.   
To the person with the picture of the cracked egg. You have nothing better to do than take pictures of that dump. I think you better get a life.  Why are you so hung up on the the egg anyway? Are the waitresses your girls? Do you go to AA with them or something? 
Why is it that illiterate people like you say personal when the rest of us say personnel?
The one time I ate at the Conch and Stein the food sucked so bad I really hope it stayed closed.
Has anyone else noticed that on the billboard for Winn Dixie right past Skeeters boatyard, there's a Dunkin' Donuts emblem)?  Are they going to put a Dunkin' Donuts in the plaza?  That sure would be great on a Sunday morning.  Go out and just grab some bagels or donuts for a late breakfast.  The people that own the bagel shop in that plaza are never there and they aren't open on Sundays. 

With so many people coming out of church and just having a lazy Sunday, you would think that Sunday would be one of their biggest days.  There are days when I just wish I could have a cup of coffee and a good donut.  I don't think that a Dunkin's would be such a bad idea.  There are no local businesses on the island that serve donuts, bagel sandwiches and coffee, so no mom and pop's would fret.  What say you Big Pine?
Let me tell you this about a young person.  My husband is 67 yrs old, he get's up at 5:00 a.m. 5 days a week and goes to work as a carpenter.  We have a thirty-something person with children who lives next to us and keeps us up all night long several nights a week. I would usually call it a potty mouth but this young person has a sewer mouth big time. Now who are the rude ones here?  I hope if you get to live to be a retired person you won't have to put up with this type of treatment. These young children next to us have a very bad example being set for them.   


Auto Baggie for flooding. Why should you get a reward. Maybe for being so slow to realize that car baggies have been out for years for storing antique cars. Dah! Start reading the news.

Monday November 28, 2005

 

Sunday November 27, 2005
If you flea market venders are so dependent on the property for a living you should get together and buy it. If  you don't, you have no one to blame but your selves. 
What you call torture I call Justice.  If that is what it takes to get the information needed to save even one American life I say torture every suspect.
Thanks Jason for making our thanksgiving day the best ever. He played for our private party on BPK and rocked the place.
Why is it that retired folks always get up early on weekends and make as much noise as possible? The people that live near them that work have only 2 days a week (if that) to catch up on some sleep. The retired folks don't have a job and can do what they want any day of the week.


There is a new Group on the music scene. Their name is More than 4. They  play everything from Country, Folk, Rock, Island, and Contemporary Christian Rock.  The group consists of 2 guys and 2 girls.  They are very good musicians with great vocals and stage presence and they are a breath of fresh air. Keep an ear out.
I have a suggestion for the person bashing the local musicians and bands. Stay home and listen to the top 40 on your radio while the rest of us enjoy the wide variety of live music we have here in the Keys. The musicians here do support one another. You, who sits in a place of judgment, stay sitting--at home.
Flood prevention. I have to admit the car baggie is one of the best ideas I have seen.
I should care if a people that have no trouble torturing and beheading their own people; as well as anyone else they can get a hold of including American soldiers get tortured? Nope.  Sorry, I don't care. Should I give a Smoot?
Yeah, the Winn Dixie store in Marathon looks good now. I guess being a good store manager and having good looks goes hand in hand.
It wouldn't break my heart for the flea market to be sold and made into a ball park. It's just for snowbirds anyway.


The Bird flu strikes Donald Duck.
I am Joppe Douwes from the Netherlands. I am a certified taijiquan (tai chi) instructor. I am on the board of the Dutch and European Federation, and the president of the CHIMAN (all Dutch Chinese martial arts organization).
 
My stepfather owns a house on No Name Key. I will visiting No Name Key and Big Pine key from December 16 thru January 10. Maybe it is possible to organize a workshop or seminar taiji? Hope to hear from you,
Is the Conch and Stein going to re-open? I think it is a disservice to the community to remain closed. There are only a few places to go and I hope someone will open it back up.




Kudos to Steve Estes for his editorial on the three stooges, Dixie, Murray and Sonny. My guess is that this will be their last term.
Jason will be playing a solo show at The House of Music, Sunday Night at 9:00pm. Locals and tourists should catch this live performance on the inside stage.
Why does nobody clear the stones from in front of their property on the bike path? It is their stones on our bike path. The stones in front of Breezeswept stumps are a danger! These stones are your stones not our stones. Are you stoned or just to lazy? Maybe you should get stoned and do it. Maybe we should stone you to do it.
I too am very proud of the two children helping to hand out food, ice, and water after the storm. They are what keeps me going through all the hard times.  Michael Sr., Michelle, and Michael Jr., Mommy is very proud of you. I hope you get lots of lights this year. Mike, I have already donated some and hope all the other people do too. The lights have been in our lives for over 5 years now. And hopefully many more to come; no matter where you all go.
PS. 143 and I miss you all so much. Take care and have Happy Holidays!
People should be pulled over for going 10 to 15 mph over the posted speed limit, being local or non-local  doesn't matter.
Sunday is the Toy Run. We're hoping you all can join the fun and the spirit of this holiday season with us--and Santa.
Hopefully she's a "double breasted American".


Palm pilot.
A true friend is someone who walks in the door when everyone else is leaving.
Cracked Egg. Yep, it's got yellow all over it. They're called shutters and doors. It's refreshing to see we have moved to the outside of the building now. Soon we will get a full description of the parking lot.


On this day in 1942, the movie Casablanca had its premiere at the Hollywood Theater in New York City. "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," and, "Here's looking at you, kid."

Re: Vehicle. Why is it that only emergency and law enforcement personal say, "vee-hic-al" instead of "ve-ik-al" like everyone else in America does?
All the bands here simply rule. To the person who is not happy: how's about a new pappy? If you make pappy happy then you would not be unhappy.
&'s. Mind your P's and Q's. In English pubs, ale is ordered by Pints and Quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them “Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.” It's where we get the phrase “mind your P's and Q's”
Royal Newman?  He died, he's dead, he's probably going to stay dead.

Sunday November 27, 2005

 

Saturday November 26, 2005
Kudos to the News Barometer for telling it like it is and calling the County commission's triad of power a "cabal" and referring to some of their contentious rulings "bone-headed decisions." Way to go, Steve!
America the land of torturers. I'm ashamed to live in a country that condones torture. I'm not leaving so Bush had better wake up and change his policy or he'd better leave. This is not my America.

During the past few months declassified documents and testimony from Army officers show that torture and abuse of prisoners has become widespread since 9/11.

44 prisoners who died over there while in US custody show signs of torture. Autopsy reports on them use words like "strangulation," "asphyxiation" and "blunt force injuries."

Is this our beloved country? Piners are worried about killing iguanas. You should worry about humans and impeach Bush and his henchman Cheney.
But, you have to agree, the Cracked Egg is a 1/2 step up from Marathon's Wooden Spoon. As many codes that we have to deal with here; I can't build something without a permit, but they can operate like that. Maybe that is why they serve Pepsi.
Thanks a Million to Marathon Vet Hospital who saved our pets life this week.  Wow, they are all the best. Early prevention is the Key to keeping your critter around for as long as possible, so if he starts to throw up, not eat or "go" normally, please take your pet to the Vet immediately.  It's nice to have such a great Vet over the Bridge, who didn't break our pocketbook for the Holidays.  Thanks to Doctor Stephen and the compassionate staff.
All the bands here simply rule. To the person who is not happy. How's about a new pappy? If you make pappy happy then you would not be unhappy
The Cracked Egg's parking lot is full because someone keeps spreading a rumor that there is a storm surge coming and the Cracked Egg's parking lot is the highest point on the island. I know who said it. It ain't funny. Yes it is.
She is not a "babe" or a "chick" - she is a "breasted American."



Does anyone have any information about Royal Newman?  I understand he passed away in about 1998 or 1999.  Any information is appreciated.  I used to work with him in Illinois before he retired to the Keys and was wondering what became of him. 
Our good George Nugent went public saying that they want to buy the flea market to put in a ball field. Well, duh, we went though this before. Show us the money!
Please do not scare us 100 locals that we will be out of business and might have to move away to make a living. We live  here, we love it and would have to move away because they won't let us put a flea market any where else. We are your neighbors and you all support us and if the flea market was gone--we'd all lose and we'd have to move to somewhere that allows us to be in business. Please, dear county,  make my future not suck. I love the Keys and want to stay here and even voted for you.

Ha! I knew someone would say something hilarious to the yellow building comment.  Yeah it's white but it has bright yellow all over it.   Whatever...get a life!
I hope Monroe County is putting aside some money to pave No Name Key Road.  The dump trucks that are carrying fill dirt out of the quarry are destroying it.  It is going to be as bad as Key Deer Blvd. very soon.  No back scratching is going on with Monroe County and the developers is there?
Where have the airplanes, helicopters and trucks been that work for the mosquito control?
Someone wrote in about wrapping your vehicle up in plastic making a baggie to keep the surge water out. When you do that, you have to make sure that the blue side and the yellow side make green when you seal it, or it won't work!
I just heard the FHP (Florida Highway Patrol, that is for you snow birds) are going to pull over and write up people going 10 to 15 mph over the posted speed limit. If the FHP are looking for more money or revenue they should pull over and  ticket drivers going 10 or 15 mph under the posted limit. They (police) would make more money from the people who don't live here year round, and drive under the speed limit. Idiots in front of us locals trying to get to work on schedule. The locals do obey the speed limits, and we're the people that live and work here for you out-of-towners who cause these laws. People from out of town, get a grip!  
I was looking up a unit of measure called a 'smoot.' Don't ask why.
 
"The bridge in Cambridge, MA that leads from the MIT campus to Boston Proper (named the Harvard bridge, strangely) is measured in smoots. One smoot is 5.58333 feet, the height of an unfortunate fraternity pledge named Oliver Smoot who was used to measure the bridge in 1958.

The bridge's length is 364.4 smoots, plus one ear."
To the person that wants to know what to do if the kid unbelts and opens the car door. Answer: Give it a push!

The Cracked Egg does have bright yellow on it and is very noticeable when you drive by. Duh,  maybe you should put the crack pipe down, my man.
Probably the reason the comments about the Cracked Egg dropped off is that the busybody is trying to find where the dishwasher with the clean bare feet went. Strange they were so well informed about day to day changes there if they found it so bad. Personally, I think it was a ruse to chase off other customers so they could find a seat for themselves.
I went to the Nextel Cup race this last weekend and I met this person at the KOA campground named Cyril Kallabah Fish. His picture is enclosed in this email. He did say that he doesn't represent any terrorist community because he is a member of the Fugowee Tribe. Thank you Big Pine Race Fans!
Regarding “Moving on Up” – Would you please enlighten us on how you can get conventional financing on flood damaged real estate?  If it’s financed, you must pay for insurance.  We would like to know what bank and insurance company you intend to use to complete your conventional financing transaction.  We would like to change banks and insurance companies to the organizations you use.
I am beginning to think that someone is trying to stir up trouble down here with their snide little comments about bands and musicians. The folks in the bands around the lower Keys all tend to respect and support each other.  It is rare that you hear any negative comments from them about other bands. I would suggest that people not respond to any negative comments about musicians or bands. Let's not play this person's stupid game.
While my wife and I were honeymooning in Hawaii, at dinner one night, I noticed a man wearing a No Name Pub shirt. I decided to strike up a conversation. I mentioned I lived on Big Pine. He said he usually stayed at one of his friend's many properties in the Keys. (He put special emphasis on many properties... I decided I might regret talking to this guy). Then, he goes on to say that he mainly comes down for lobster mini-season and he takes pride in disregarding the limits– loading up as many coolers as he can. (Yup, I disliked him immediately). Nothing like traveling that far to meet the same kind of knucklehead I could find down here during mini-season. Weird story. I thought I'd share it. Hope everybody had a great Turkey Day!



To the person who thinks you can't earn a lot cleaning windows. I live in Big Pine and earn $25 an hour for cleaning homes and rentals including windows, sometimes more than that.  Lazy people will pay what you ask so they don't have to do it themselves.
I don't know about other people's rat problems, but I know for a fact that when I poisoned the little buggers living in my attic, some of them decided to neglect their great thirst for water and died up there. Maybe they did it just to piss me off, but it took about a month to get the smell out of my house.
Does anyone know when the Boot Key Harbor Christmas Boat Parade is going to be held this year? Or not? There are so many rumors going around. Is it true that the parade is being cancelled this year because everybody on the Harbor is in a bad mood after Wilma? Or because all the boats sunk and their Christmas lights were contaminated from salt water intrusion? Or because the Dockside is now off limits to locals? Can anyone shed any light on this important question?

Saturday November 26, 2005

 

Friday November 25, 2005
Prevent flooded cars. Lay a plastic sheet on the ground, drive your car on it and then tie the ends together making a baggie for your car. Easy, cheap and it'll work! The rising water will compress the plastic against your car preventing that nasty sea water from doing any damage. Brilliant, I should get an award.

Yesterday the turkey was stuffed, today I'm stuffed. What great food and company. We hope everyone ate as well.
Re: Rats. Can't you read? Use the rat bait traps. They cause insatiable thirst in the rats causing the them to leave your house in search of water. When they drink the water they die outside of your house. What don't you understand about that?
Only a brilliant person or a total cynic can be above belief. how's that for profound?
I was in the Kmart parking lot and was amazed at how many new cars and trucks have temporary dealer plates on them. One more flood and there won't be any old cars around.
Friends are not your personal employees.  Do-Me-A-Favor friends live in voice mail land without call backs.  Especially the ones requesting heavy labor or a chore which takes up several hours of your time after you haven't even talked with your "friend" for a week or so.  I don't rely on friends to do my work, that's what the paid professionals are for.  Before I help, I ask myself, "Would they do the same for me?" and "Would I have the nerve to ask the same of them?"  Sadly, the answers are no and many of the Keys people have agendas which are sorely and sadly one-sided and all about them.
Is it still the law that we're supposed to remove doors from discarded refrigerators? If it is we're all going to jail. I think that law was passed in the 50's when they used mechanical latches on refrigerators and a child couldn't get out if it closed. Now they use magnetic strips that are easily pushed open from the inside.
Louisiana is one of twenty states without building codes. That's pretty scary for a state in the hurricane zone.

The traffic light at Sugarloaf School is the fastest light I've ever seen . It only stays red for about ten seconds.
I've been so unhappy since Wilma I wish all this would be over, but I have to realize that I'm never happy. I'm not unhappy, but I'm never happy. It might be my old age. I'm not ever depressed--just not happy.
Yes, James at the Marathon W/D is cute. What has that to do with being a good store manager?

Can anyone tell me if PC Metro cell phone service is as good as Cingular? Are there any dead spots in the Keys? I need a new phone and would like to buy it on BPK.
Am I the only one who has not even seen or heard from a flood adjuster? Fidelity is our carrier. We are homeless. Waiting patiently, anyone else waiting also?
FEMA sucks big time!
Port Pine Heights is a stupid name. It's lower than many other parts of Big Pine. If it was the heights it wouldn't have gotten so flooded.



I guess I struck a left wing wacko nerve.  This is great!  Merry Xmas from the Big Pine Key NRA club.
Movin' on up! I am hoping someone out there can help us out. We've outgrown our current home and are looking for something larger. We are a hard-working 10 year local family. If you are considering selling your flooded house "as is", we are the buyers for you. We need 3 bedrooms and a big yard, preferably fenced. We like ground level, but it is not a must. Storm damage is not a problem. Your fixer-upper may be our dream home. We would consider anything from Sunshine to Rockland Key. We prefer owner financing with payoff within one year to give us time to fix your place and sell ours but conventional financing is okay, too. Email us at bigpinerogue@hotmail.com


Without a doubt, Bo is the best guitarist and showman in the lower Keys. His show keeps you coming back.
Re: Mikes Christmas truck. I think it's wonderful what he does everyday to help the community. The time he donates to help each and every person he can, takes care of his two great kids, putting a smile on kids faces is a great gift. Mike, we all need one about now. What you do is wonderful. A drop box is a great idea. Keep the Christmas spirit Babyboy. 
Eden Pines neighbors would like to express their deepest sympathy to the family of Joseph Nuck at the loss of their beloved father, brother and grandfather.  The community will not be the same without him.  We love and miss him.  Our prayers are with you during this difficult time. Sail on Joe until we meet again.
Taking a child for a car ride to calm them down may not be the best way for all. If the child doesn't sit quiet and grabs the wheel, if they kick the dash with their feet, ball their fist and hit the side window, is this something good while driving?  Taking a child for a car ride could prove to be catastrophic if the child unhooks the belt, opens the car door while you are driving and attempts to jump out, what do you do? How would you handle all this and drive too?  

Is it possible that the confines of the car makes you as the controller more in control?  It's a small space and maybe you feel they will listen better when they are strapped into a car seat belt and just a foot away from you?  Could this control be the only way that your child will listen to what you have to say, at least until they get out of that car again?  My child was sat down in their room where it's safe and talked to in a calm manner explaining the consequence of their actions and why.  Your way may have worked for you but some children are more unruly and one way doesn't always work for another.  Just another opinion, not a criticism.
Re: Laser surgery.  I have been told that they will not perform this operation on anyone over 65 years of age.  It is offered all over the place but the best eye care in the country is at Bascon Palmer in Miami.  It is operated by the University of Miami.  Give them a call as they have so much business they won't try to scam you.
Hey, Ed. What happened to the Christmas truck video? (Ed: I couldn't upload it. Sometimes I can sometimes I can't. I haven't figured it out yet. As soon as I get caught up with flood damage repair I'm going to upgrade my website software and I hope that'll make it easier to display sound and video. Stay tuned.)
Re: lights for Mike: I went to so many houses in Port Pine Heights I'm not sure who you are but I'm glad that I could help you after Wilma. I pride myself on helping other people in times of need and that was a time of need. Plus my kids loved it. Helping other people is all they wanted to do; we would wake up and I would ask, "What do you guys wanna do today? We wanna go help people with ice and water like we did yesterday." I'm very proud of them with all my heart.
(Ed: What no Cracked Egg, barefoot comments today. What's wrong? Who's next?)


If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

Friday November 25, 2005

 

Thursday November 24, 2005

Commissioner Murray Nelson says that the new ruling preventing property that holds endangered species will set back affordable housing 10 years. Commissioner Nelson, there is no such thing as affordable housing in the Keys and there never will be. It's just impossible. What is possible is protecting the environment. Don't you get it yet?
Regarding the FEMA and  Red Cross benefit cards. I saw people buying a new Play Station for a spoiled kid, large pink shrimp and a bunch of non-priority things with those cards.
 
I've heard another person in the store even asking a manager "I've got this card, show me a nice expensive steak to buy."  I am not a proud taxpayer who refused to get a card, I've been  working hard since the hurricane to cover my losses. I didn't have a chance or the time for filing one of those applications.


There have been improvement at Winn Dixie in Marathon because of James McGuire. He is soooo cute.
Re: Xmas truck. Mike, where can we drop off the lights and what type do you need? Piners we can purchase lights here on BP  True value, WD, CVS ,Bell's, Ace Hardware all sell Christmas lights.
Re: rats in the house. Tree huggers would never protest killing those rats because the types of rats that enter homes are non-native pests. If anything, tree huggers would appreciate your eradicating any invasive exotic, plant or animal.
Re: The Cracked Egg a bright yellow building? Its a white building. Man you need to put the crack pipe down. Wow, some of you people are way out there.
To the guy who refuses to clean yard naked. I would really appreciate if you can tell me exactly where I can earn $15-25 per hour washing windows. For me it sounds unreal, unless I should wash it naked.
Re: rats. To the person that uses the d-con pellets. Wouldn't one want to seal all holes in their house? Why would you leave them an avenue to come and go?  I want them gone without dealing with the funk of dying vermin in the walls.  So far I've had no luck with snap traps baited with apples.  Raw bacon maybe?
Eat all you want! Happy Thanksgiving.
To the music critic.  Where are you playing? You must be better than everyone you slammed. Let the people know where you are playing so they can judge you for themselves. My guess is  you don't have a gig and that speaks for itself. So put up or shut up !
I got a laugh out of the "Hook Up" classified ads being posted then decided it might be a good way to meet someone. If your a big girl and looking to play, check out the ad.
Re: Christmas truck. I'm trying to go with a theme this year of solid color strings. I need the icicle lights in red, white and blue. Garland lights in the same colors. It is complicated to put all the lights on the truck making both sides match and make it look good, but after years I have come up with a good plan. Also anyone with Christmas music CDs. If they can burn me a copy of all the popular songs that would be great. I have lost a lot of them that I had last year. (flood)
 
I had close to 12,000 lights in all I spent almost $1000 last year in just lights alone. $150 on the attachments to mount them and about $600 in fuel. 
 
You can donate lights or a gift card to Kmart or CVS or Home Depot (they have the best selection) for lights or other things such as a lighted train or Santa. All money or lights donated will be used on the truck. People who have seen it in the past know that one year I had an 8 ft Santa in the back. I've had a train on the top blowing smoke. Every year is something different. My cell number is 305-395-0379.  I work at Napa and I can meet with anyone at anytime. PS 143 and I miss you.
I live on Pig Pine and like a lot of us living here work and live paycheck to paycheck. Four hurricanes cleaned me out of mad money not to mention I lost everything. I am not whining but the fact is that The Red Cross, FEMA and SBA are here to help us in some way or another.  It has been a month now and I still haven't heard anything from them.

I am not looking for a hand out although this is our tax dollars at work. Patience is short and the holidays are upon us. We, as a community here in the Keys, I wouldn't trade for anything, but it cost to much money to live here anymore. We need to continue to stick together as a community. We have it in us.

For the displaced on Big Pine. Has anyone gotten a trailer yet? Remember we're dealing with FEMA/SBA/Bush administration. Need I say more? On that note, everyone have a great turkey day. And for the garbage pickers: One man's garbage is another man's treasure. Maybe someone needs it worse than me.
Has anyone had any experience with Laser (glaucoma) surgery? My 92 year old mom wants to have it done. I can't find anything about it.
Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving everybody!
A few friends and I ate at Parrotdise restaurant the other day and the food was great, but the waitresses and bartenders need to get rid of the orange juice containers that say "concentrate" on the side because we were totally ignored for the longest time. There were only 6 people at the bar, four 4 tops and 2 waitress, 1 barmaid and a food runner could not handle it. To the owner: you need a waitress meeting of the minds if there are any.
That barefooted dishwasher really doesn't bother me as long as he doesn't come out of the kitchen, hold my fork in his toes and try to feed me.






Happy Thanksgiving to all the folks in the fabulous Florida Keys, the out islands of the United States of America.
Re: Ugly dog' Sam dies at 14. I'll miss him he kept the snowbirds out of my yard.
Someone told me today that the Big Pine Coffee shop has two theme songs, Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like  a Lady", and Eric Clapton's "Cocaine." Man, that's funny. I'm still laughing.
I agree there's too much band slamming here. All I hear is how fat Bo is. Who cares, he can play.


Re: Outdoor Xmas decorations.  Don't worry your wife will find someone else to hang her decorations, maybe nail her too.
I doubt very seriously that the guy who gave the review of the local bands is a musician because he made a positive comment about the Reiffersons. They are not very good.  The worst thing I have heard was a trio at the Tiki about six weeks ago with two guys playing guitar (not sure about the one guy, if he was actually playing) and a gal singer. I don't know what they called themselves but it should be "The don't quit your day job trio"
Re: The dishwasher quit the Egg.  Maybe they told him to put shoes on and he quit to find another barefoot job.  I agree with the person about why the parking lot is always full. The place looks nice from the outside until you walk inside.  I have gone in there and they weren't even serving breakfast. I was, like, " But your called "The Cracked Egg" how can you not serve breakfast? The damned place is only open 'till 2pm.
Re: They want me to clean up crap naked. Oh, I very much doubt that.
To the person looking for a computer repair person. Todd at Computer Nation in Key West is Great. I do not know if he makes house visits.
Re: Bad Bank. I bet I know what bank you use.  Is it 3 letters?  I used them and they suck.  They hold everything including cash.  Change banks like I did. They are not all that bad.
As you open your pockets for yet another natural disaster, keep these facts in mind: Marsha J. Evans, President and CEO of the American Red Cross's salary was $651,957 plus expenses. Brian Gallagher, President of the United Way receives a $375,000 base salary, plus numerous expense benefits.

The Salvation Army's Commissioner Todd Bassett receives a salary of only $13,000 per year (plus housing) for managing this $2 billion dollar organization.

Thursday November 24, 2005

 

Wednesday November 23, 2005
The biggest improvement at W/D so far is there new manager Robert ,he is most helpful
and friendly.
Haven't you ever heard of mail service people going postal?  Their job is stressful and if you haven't done it, or lived with a person who works for the post office you couldn't understand what they go though.  How about your newspaper delivery person, do you tip them?  They get up early and get off early to supply you and they are just doing their job too.  Most people are just doing their job each day.  A TIP to your postal person is something one chooses to give or not.  Why does it have to be money, couldn't you give some small gift just in appreciation?  I got a letter from the United States White-house and my delivery person brought it to the door.  I thought that was most thoughtful, not sitting in a mail box or bending it in any way. Do you tip a baby-sitter, they may have been extra caring to your child, over and above.  If you choose to be particular on who gets your tips you could argue the point endlessly.  Do you deduct the tax off the balance of your check to give the percentage you give?  You don't want to tip on the tax do you?
I again want to thank Mike (Big orange truck) for going door to door in Port Pine Heights, with ice and water, the day after Wilma. I never met Mike before he knocked on our door that day, but knew of him because of the Christmas lights on the truck. He has done much for our community and think we all should do something for him in return. Lights for Mike. If it is alright with Mike, I would like to start a drop off box where people can donate Christmas lights for your last Christmas with us here in the Keys. Maybe it can be the brightest one yet.



The wife wanted me to put up some outdoor Xmas decorations that would compliment the ambiance of Big Pine Key.  I think I nailed it!
About the mail person. I was not receiving my mail for a week or so. I had discovered later that mail person thinks my mail box is blocked by my yard waist (few tree branches and palm leaves about 6' away). But she never left any notes about this and I was wondering where my very important letter was. She also never comes up to the house if I have a package or something for signature. She leaves a note and I have to go to the post office. So I have to sit by the window if I want to catch her in time and get my packages.
Re: Help us clean up our streets and roads. Trust me, these people aren't cleaning our area for a favor; they make very good money at it.



Big Al Roker. He's the man.
Reliable computer tech: Brian Zirkelbach in Marathon. He's worked on my home computer and those of many of my friends and acquaintances whenever needed for five years now and also contracts with my company as well as many others in and outside the Keys. The work is good, he knows what he's doing and is flexible to your schedule. He can be located at the Guidance Clinic of the Middle Keys, where he works maintaining their IT system.
Trafficated. (v.tr.) A state in which the roads are packed so full of traffic that it is beyond what normal bad traffic can describe. Example: The highway was really trafficated today!


Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
Re: Rats. To the person with rats in their house. don't use poison. The rats will die in the attic or between the walls and stink the house up for a long time. Traps baited with pieces of apple and peanut butter work well. Just make sure you don't tell the local tree huggers what you are doing. They will protest.
Re: Lights on your truck. How many can we fit on there? Let us know so we can go shopping.

Many times I've been asked the following question: As a cop and a successful parent what's your opinion on "Using Reason vs. Spanking?"

My response has been as follows: Most of Americans believe that it's improper to spank children and though I was raised by a spanking Mexican mother, I have tried other methods over the years to control my kids when they were having one of "those moments."  

One that I've found very effective for me was to just take the child for a car ride and talk with them. They usually calmed down and stopped misbehaving after our little car ride together.

I've included the photo below of one of a session with my son, when he was younger, in case you would like to use this technique. It was very effective! I hope this will assist you!  Ciao Amigos.
Re: Rats. Use d-CON mouse and rat poison granules. They work very well. The rat eats the poison and craves water so it leaves your house to find water. As soon as it drinks water it dies (out of your house). I've been controlling rats with it for many years. You can get it at W/D.
What do you think of the school teacher that was bonking a 14 year old student and got caught and convicted and was not sent to jail because she is too beautiful and jail would do her harm? If it was a man they would call him a pedophile and notify the neighbors when he moved into a neighborhood. a beautiful woman--they think it's cool.
Re: Banking query.  Find yourself a local girl.  From there on you won't have to worry about your money at all--you won't have any.
I was at the Cracked Egg this morning. It was great as usual although they were operating without a dishwasher, imagine that. The barefoot guy who was a wonder doing dishes with his bare feet got pissed and quit. I thought my plate was a little dirty this morning. Come back barefoot guy, I miss you.
Well, here it is two days early– because I plan on spending my Thanksgiving stuffed to the gills, curling up with the new wife and a bottle of scotch, and watching a DVD marathon of Mystery Science Theater 3000 like they used to have on Comedy Central, (some may remember that). It's my own goofy tradition. I'm also not sure if our editor will be posting tomorrow. Anyhoo... enjoy your Turkey Day, fellow Piners! Good food & fun to all! See ya next week.

BPK Funny Fridays "Turkey Day edition"– Because if humanity is the turkey, laughter is the stuffing. Or maybe if humanity is the mashed potatoes– laughter is the gravy? Humanity/pumpkin pie... laughter/whipped cream... dammit! Now I'm hungry!

If you're at Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, "Boy, these are good cigars!" ~Jack Handey

Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-time takes twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
~Erma Bombeck

Third world countries, where people go to bed hungry every night, must find us rude. We have a national holiday where we stuff food... into other food. ~Bill Maher

Most turkeys taste better the day after Thanksgiving... my mother’s tasted better the day before. ~Rita Rudner

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!!!"
~Arthur Carlson (WKRP) After having live turkeys dropped from a helicopter as an advertising stunt.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. ~Jon Stewart

President Bush is planning on spending Thanksgiving out at his ranch in Crawford. And you know how he always pardons the White House turkey? Bad news for the turkey: There are three cabinet members ahead of him. ~Jay Leno

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
"If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy !"
~Some 6-year old

We're taught a lot of lies about American history growing up. And one of the chiefest lies we're taught is about Thanksgiving. Right? Ever since you were little you heard this: "The Pilgrims left England to escape religinimous persecution and to seek religious freedom in-im-in the New World!" And even when you're little, you're like, "Um... bullsh*t? You're just saying that, right?" [singing] 'Cause it sounds better than the truuuth. La-la-la-laa-la-la-la-la-laa! It sounds better, and it tastes better, so we'll all pretend it really happened! There were no women or minorities! Just a bunch of white guys wearing wigs... -–My feeling is, the Pilgrims were asked to leave England. England was never funner than when the Pilgrims split, right? The people of England got a little tired of these dour, right-winged conservative psycho-Christians wearing all black, bumming