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Archives of Old Kudos and Whiners

June 2005

Thursday June 30, 2005

One More for the good guys.>From: "Sorensen, Ken" Ken.Sorensen@myfloridahouse.gov 
Subject: RE: Dynamic Message Signs in the Keys.
Date: Wed, 29 Jun 2005 10:54:06 -0400
Dear Xxxxx,
The Representative asked me to respond to you on his behalf, and he >wanted me to let you know that he is well of aware of the eyesore the >DM signs are causing or will cause. He is actively working with the >Department of Transportation (DOT) in our District and in Tallahassee. >He has sent a letter to the Secretary of DOT and from that letter many >meetings have been set up with local officials; we have not heard as of >yet what became of those meetings but will let you know as soon as we >do. The Village of Islamorada is very against the signs and have even >passed a resolution saying so. The Rep. feels your angst and is doing >everything in his power to stop this. It seems that the approval for >these signs came without notice. Please let me know if there is >anything else I can do for you in the future or otherwise. Sincerely,>Holly Merrill
(Dynamic message signs. Protest Contact information. Email them now, or else!)

Re: John Kerry. I thought Kerry was a fabulous choice for the Democratic party. He embodied the essence of Liberal strategy.
1.) Sling Mud
2.) Raise Taxes
3.) Flip - Flop
Unfortunately his downfall was,sing it with me Jimmy, "...he blew out his
flip-flop."
Something I'm getting tired of in this country is all this stupid BS I have to listen to about children. That's all you hear anymore, children: "Help the children, save the children, protect the children." I know that all you boring single dads and working moms, who think you're such great heroes, aren't going to like this, but somebody's got to tell you for your own good: Your children are overrated and overvalued, and you've turned them into little cult objects. You have a child fetish and it's not healthy.
One thing you've got to remember: not all children are smart and clever. Got that? Kids are like any other group of people: a few winners, a whole lot of losers. This country is filled with loser kids who aren't going anywhere. And there's nothing you can do about it, folks. You can't save them all. You've got to let them go; you've got to cut them loose; you've  got to stop overprotecting them because you're making them too soft. Today's kids are way too soft.
What's happened is, these baby boomers, these soft, fruity baby boomers, have raised an entire generation of soft, fruity kids who aren't even allowed hazardous toys, for Chrissake! Hazardous toys - whatever happened to natural selection? Survival of the fittest? The kid who swallows too many marbles, doesn't grow up to have kids of his own. Simple stuff. Nature knows best.
We're saving entirely too many lives in this country - of all ages! Nature should be permitted to do it's job weeding out and killing off the weak and sickly and ignorant people, without interference from airbags and batting helmets. We're lowering the human gene pool.
New Jersey cannot be the singular focus of derision. It's hardly fair. So, there will be a semi-daily feature here titled, "Other Places Suck Too". If your point of origin is mentioned, cry me a frickin' river. If you have something to add, (positive or negative), about the state in question, by all means... Kudo or Whine away!

Today's Featured Crapburg: Ohio. Ohio is slipping to third-world status. They've cut the college and university budget by $313 million. It now ranks 40th among the states in college graduates. That will explain the increasing amount of empty-headed Buckeyes drifting down to the Keys. And certainly do not forget the slums in Cleveland, Cincinnati, Toledo, Columbus, and also that war zone Evandale. Bring a map so you don't turn down the wrong street. Could be ANY street. As far as pollution is concerned... their coal-burning power plants rank among the most dangerous in the nation- pumping thousands of pounds of arsenic, lead, acid gases and about 60 other pollutants in the air every year. "Ohio!- B.Y.O.O. (Bring Your Own Oxygen)" Summation: Ohio- stinky, dangerous, & moronic.
Kudos to Slice of Paradise. We order from them a lot and it's always great.
Deep fried bald eagle with manatee steaks and Key deer roast with loggerhead soup appetizer is the Bomb!
Anyone in the food service industry knows that good help is hard to find. But Boondocks has some ladies that have been their longer then John and Lanny have owned it. I'm talking about Kathy and Marlo in the bar and then their is Debbie in the dining room
There are two parks for children on Big Pine. One behind the ball field the other over on Palm Dr. off Wilder. Neither one is equipped as a playground we should have at least one fully equipped playground on BPK.

Some people are like Slinkys...Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Wow! 52 sex offenders in the Key West zip code. Sex Offenders

I have no argument with either side of the Key Deer Bar and Capt. Dan postings. He has his supporters and there’s no doubt that he tries to provide fund raising events for community causes.  He certainly has the ability to schmooze some of his customers with his various tales of grandeur. However, as it is said, "The proof is in the pudding" and his "pudding" is pretty rancid.  Yelling at employees in front of the customers, having a revolving door of help and bartenders, the inability to provide consistently good quality food and service is running his business into the ground with his behaviour.

Man + clean + teeth + Big Pine = Non-existent.



If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
I'm the person that said I'm tired of people complaining about the got-miners.  Guess what, I am not a got miner as I am still working on getting mine, and yes, I have young children, and I'm not in a wheelchair.  I just happen to have respect for my elders, and those who have worked their asses off to be able to move here and retire.  I never said I'm against parks for our kids, I said we already have enough here.  God, some of you people just blow me away with your ungrateful attitudes.  You need to appreciate what we have here or move. It's that simple!  I'm not sad for you, by the way.  You obviously love being miserable and there's nothing I can do for you.
Capt. Dan is getting totally trashed. It seems as people are very jealous of his place and I will eat my words after I have eaten there. I will be going there on Friday, just to see what the real talk is about. I love the different people's opinions. Like I said, I'm going there on Friday to see for myself.


I'm a left-wing liberal, but even I think that Senator Durbin's statement comparing us with Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy went to far.
Entrapment Moo Men. To completely prevent this problem you could abstain, but, if you do not possess that kind of self control try a condom. They not only protect against STD's but also pregnancy. Quit playing the victim. "Waaaah, that mean woman told me she was on the pill." Don't be so naive!
I just noticed the sex offenders link on this website. Great addition for any parent to view regularly. I also Googled Florida sex offenders and the state website also has photo's and addresses. Parents, please notice just how many there are whose convictions were for sexual activity with minors.  I find this a great tool to use to explain why underage teenagers need more supervision than they think they need. There are openly two listed on Big Pine but many on Summerland and a huge amount in Key West and Marathon. Please look for yourselves.
I used to go to the Key Deer Grill before Dan bought it. I enjoyed the prime rib dinners they had on the weekend. As soon as he took it over, the dinners changed. The prices went up and the size of the piece of meat dramatically reduced.  I haven't been back since. Enough said.
Hey if the cat who runs this site would, this is the photo I sent in yesterday. Is there something wrong with this photo? How come you didn't post it with my message? It's a perfectly good picture, of the handsome John Kerry as a college man, and I thought everybody would enjoy it... nothing wrong with it. If there is something wrong, let me know what it is. I'm a Vet who has all the respect for Kerry that he has coming, and I think you put up a pretty mean picture with my message.
(Ed: There is something wrong with the photo. Please send stuff as attachments so we receive only the photo and not other cyber junk attached to it. I apologize for the negative photo that I substituted because I thought the photo you sent looked lousy, but that's just the way he looks.)
Very few people live near Blue Heron park or Watson field. That's why you don't see many kids there.  I have spent my children's whole existence taking them to the few scattered parks here on Big Pine and for walks in the hammock. They have probably seen things there you couldn't even dream of. It is an amazing place. I wouldn't let them go to the hammock by themselves though.   It seems to me that many people who live near what used to be the Mariners Resort would rather have a rat infested eye sore in their back yard than an easy-on-the-eye useable  park. Surely a run down abandoned building carries more weight as far as trashing property values than a family oriented park. What is wrong with the mind set of some people?
Sure, Bush got into the school he wanted to because he did not have any influential kin to help him along now did he? C'mon! Grades can be bought, my friend. Is that some sort of shock what oil money can accomplish? I think this website, which chronicles his vocal gaffes, reflects the kind of attention he gave his education. One would figure he might be a tad more eloquent. http://www.dubyaspeak.com/
P.S. as an example of how far back the paid-off schooling reaches, here's a snippet from http://www.tarpley.net/bushb.htm#Table  regarding George HW Bush's own edu-ma-cation.

"From all available testimony, his mental life before college was anything but outstanding. His campaign literature claims that, as a veteran, Bush was ``serious'' at Yale. But we cannot check exactly how he achieved election to Phi Beta Kappa, in his abbreviated college experience. Without top secret clearance, we cannot consult his test results, read his essays, or learn much about his performance in class. We know that his father was a trustee of the university, in charge of ``developmental'' fundraising. And his family friends were in control of the U.S. secret services."
There is a wonderful family park at First Baptist Church on Key Deer Blvd. It is open at all times, with things for the little ones to play on, a basketball court, and a field for ball playing. They also provide showers and toilet facilities for those in need. It is clean and safe! Our children and youth need places to go as there really is not anything for them to do here. What better place to gather together and have fun then on Church grounds.


Correction to the Wendy’s post: Wendy’s bought Coconuts—the bar, not the nursery. Now the New Jersey lard arses can belly up to the troughs at Wendy’s and suck down a pound of fries to further enlarge those bodacious posteriors.

Captain Dan is getting what he deserves. It's not the question that is he a real Captain or if he helps his community, it's that he has a revolving door for employees at his bar. Let's get back on the subject that he does treat his employees like crap. I do nice things for people also, but to tell everybody about it all the time sounds like self-promotion. Obviously he is a good guy at times, but he needs to work on the other times that he's not. Especially in front of customers. All of the stuff said about him is called constructive criticism. Take it the way it is meant to be. Obviously people like me, like him enough to say, "Hey Capt. Dan, you need to wake up buddy and start running a nice and friendly tight ship."
Re: New Joisy-ites. I do home maintenance and one of my favorite clients is from Jersey. Like most places, Including B.P., Jersey has their fair share of assholes. I think most of them came across the G.W. bridge from N.Y.C. I've done work for people from N.Y.C. and they are all assholes. Kudos to the people from upstate New York, most of them seem to have it together. Bostonites suck also. Rudest people I've ever met. Thanks for letting me vent.


Re: Stinky Pants. Hey, I am a regular at the House of Music, and I resemble that remark, I take a bath every Saturday night whether I need one or not!

Thursday June 30, 2005

 

Wednesday June 29, 2005

For those of you who have ever wondered what a Key Deer might taste like I can tell you this. If cooked properly, it tastes like a cross between a Manatee and a Bald Eagle. We have all three species around here so there's know reason for your not having tried all three of these popular dishes.
Capt. Dan is a real captain. He has or had a large sail boat and used to charter it out and take people everywhere. He also knows some of the most popular and most influential people in America. NASCAR drivers and all of the people affiliated with the sport. That includes the late Dale Earnhart and his family. Most people only dream of ever having that opportunity. He may not run his business the way you think he should, so why don't you start your own restaurant and put him out of business?
 

A bagel with a smear of cream cheese beats a greasy doughnut.

Everybody knows Captain Dan's boat Jersey Girl. I've known him for many many years. I know several people that have chartered his boat all over the many oceans from sea to shining sea.  Not to mention when he use to do the Flotillas to Cuba. So, back off. The man is a bonified Captain and he has been nothing but good to this community. He goes out of his way to help people and schools with benefits.  So come on people back off and get over bashing Captain Dan.
I was watching the Black Entertainment Awards last night and was wondering if anyone knew when the White Entertainment Channel was having their awards.
Are there teens in Big Pine? I am moving down July and I am 15.



Just thought it was time to start picking on the spongers again
1. One minimum commercial size sponge (5") filters clean of excess nutrients and sediment 100 gallons of water an hour.
2. The spongers are living aboard and there is not a pump out facility any where in the lower Keys.
3. The habitat lost to small crustaceans, echinoderms, and fish is regulated in other industries like live rock collecting why not sponging.
4. The cleaning process for the sponges places hundreds of pounds of decaying material into the water. 
5. The soap and or bleach used in the final cleaning of the sponges id definitely illegal to place in the water. 
6. The oil that is placed into the water so that they can see into it is most often illegal.  Expensive fish oil is legal, free used-cooking oil is not.
7. Through personal observation I have noted that for every sponge that is legally taken in to the boat that several others are torn off of the bottom for a better look and then dumped back into the water to roll around the bottom until dead.
8. There is no legitimate use for natural sponges that can not be fulfilled by man made sponges. 


I'm looking to form an a' capella Doo-Wop singing group. Anyone out there interested? Male or female. I can sing baritone and second tenor. Would also be interested in joining an already established group in need of a member. email jazzyone44@yahoo.com.
To the got-miner that's tired of reading complaints about the got-miners. For your information, we own two houses here on Big Pine and another elsewhere, so I guess I'm not jealous of your having what I don't. The parks we have here on Big Pine are great for three year olds or for group sports activities. I have lived here on Big Pine far longer than you have, I am sure. I live here because I love it here. I used the parks in Marathon as an example of what could be done to improve a community. The city of Marathon utilized federal funds to help build their parks. I guess you believe that people who have children or are planning on having children don't buy houses. Maybe it bothers you that if there was a neighborhood park in a residential area the people who would be looking at those houses might tend to be younger and not wheelchair bound. I guess there is something wrong with the ideas of families living in your neighborhood. All of us were children once and we all had fun places to play. I guess young Piners don't have that right because you are too old to remember your youth. I am sad for you. 
Apparently this site is close to becoming the "Trash New Jersey" site. I feel any Jersey-bashers should also have the stones to submit their own state of origin. I dare them. (They can't all be Conchs!)
Re: Entitlement Moos. The world is already over-populated, resources are limited. So, why do these moos insist on intentionally getting pregnant by men who don't want to marry them otherwise? This makes for miserable marriages, and dysfunctional children. These moos really are cow-pigs with hair, only thinking of a free meal ticket. The marriage contract should end on the dotted line, free of charge. I have no respect for these moos
Sewers aren't the problem at the House of Music. If the usuals would bathe, the problem would be solved.
Romance Mathematics
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

I’ve heard a strong rumor from reliable sources that Wendy’s is buying Coconut Farms. As rumors go, I just hope this is nothing more than a sick joke gone awry. This is no April Fools joke that with the following day brought sighs of relief. The source, a local attempting to apply for a commercial permit to improve his property was told that a significant block of commercial permits had already been allocated to Publix and Wendy’s, and that he should complete his application as soon as possible. I have no problem with Publix because it satisfies a real need on this island. But a fast food joint, along with the proposed dynamic message signs—satisfy no need, do nothing to improve the community and do absolutely nothing for the environment,  marine sanctuary which is very special and unique, and is considered a critical area of concern.

Why is it that the purveyors of mainstream crap just keep trying to reduce our precious beautiful island to nothing more than an extension of Miami? Fast food joints are not casual family dining establishments—they’re hangouts for gang-bangers just like some of our local bars are hangouts for crack heads and drunks. Wake up people! Why did you choose Big Pine Key of all the places to live? Was it not to seek refuge from the insidious greed that fuels the over-development, over-commercialization and wasteful use of resources fraught upon every last remaining piece of once pristine islands of the Florida Keys? The gentrification of Key West and the condo-ization of Marathon—and now—the bringing up to speed of Big Pine have nothing at all to do with improving the quality of your life. Protect the beauty and lifestyle you’ve worked so hard for. New Jersey and New York have already destroyed their back yards and now they’re coming to destroy ours.
(Dynamic message signs. Protest Contact information. Email them now, or else!)

Let's be honest here. John Kerry was a worse student than GWB. Bush was able to get his MBA from Harvard and Kerry was DENIED acceptance to Harvard. Kerry ended up getting his MBA from Boston College.....That pretty much explains why it has taken this long for Kerry to release his records.

Also, has Kerry ever worked an honest day in his life (as Howard Dean would say)? He seems like just a gigolo to me who just marries rich women.
 John Kerry has proved once again that he is a dishonest man at heart. If he was honest and forthright from the beginning I doubt the American people really would have cared about his college grades. Instead he tried to hide his grades and decided to take the name calling route by calling George Bush an idiot at every opportunity. What do all the liberals have to say for themselves now?
TimeTicker and the time tickers...  To help this site with those time critics.


I don't need a children's park. My illegal neighbors reproduce so often that they supply a never-ending round of ear-splitting screaming, screeching, and crying. Now, if these wild crack monkeys would wear muzzles, I could occasionally get some sleep! Stop the noise!
Everyone has a dynamic message signs in their car. 'Tis called a radio. Duh.

I just wanted to Iet all the women know to be careful because I was shocked. I was to see a guy named R----t (who is a landscaper) at one of the local convenience stores when he was just arrested for raping a retarded woman in KW a couple of months ago. What is going on? Is he out on bail or do you only get a couple of months in jail for raping someone in the Keys?



I Love this site. Its better than Days of Our Lives!

Disgruntled visitor. Shut up and get your own life…every single one of you!
Re: Slander. Hey Ed.or Edna? Look up Sunday's page and read the posting entitled "2-4-20. How many signs do they need?" Not posting this losers name is unacceptable, people that make accusations like this should be exposed for what they are. Besides being a liar, I know a few people in the county jail who would love to hang out for a night with this loser.
(Ed: Again, I apologize. I should have posted the slanderers' name. It was another mistake.)

There is a very nice children's park behind the church next to the fire dept. Go there. We don't need any more parks.
Sorry, you blew trashing Key Deer Grill by saying Cynthia knew how to run it. It was, however, a smidge better when she owned it, but just a smidge.
To the obviously old person against park's for the children. I don't have kid's either and to be honest I don't care for children, but hey, park's have been around since the beginning of time and the little wannabe parks on Big Pine are not what we need. I grew up here on Big Pine and this is a family oriented island not a gated retirement community at all and never will be. So for you retirees over there by the future park site, you will just have to except it or move to Venture Out where you belong. There's lot's of children here and it would be very good for them to get a real park.
After reading all of the recent postings about Key Deer Bar I decided to go back and see for myself. A friend and I went in for a late lunch and beers. Well, recent postings are pretty accurate. My requested medium burger was so past well done it was dry and the fries weren't cooked through. My friends fish fingers were over done as well with the breading almost burned. Our server seemed dis-interested in the whole operation and never once did we see a hint of a smile. In fact she seemed to be somewhere between morose and catatonic. Our first beer was cold and served in a nice frosty mug. Beers two and three were poured into the same mug. So much for frosty. I'm sure they have good days too, but apparently not too often.
Mr. Stinky pants is rumored to be living under the House of Music.
You must be new here if you don't know that for years Capt. Dan did fishing and sailing charters. He can tell you stories for hours of his adventures on the water. Lighten up on him and Ester. They are great people and have done more in one day for this community than most people have done in their lifetime. Anytime this community needed a place to do a fundraiser he has supplied it. He has always given his time, money, and anything else that was needed. He even helps his competition when they needed it. When MoBay burned down he was one of the first there to help Ed move all his supplies and store them until Ed could figure out what he was going to do. I know I was there along with a hell of a lot of other people. That's what true Keys people do. We take care of each other. Spend a day with the Capt. sometime and you will be amazed at his kindness. If you ever need help he will be the first one to offer help even if you are bad mouthing him.
H of M toilets. Guys, bite the bullet and get the smell problem fixed. It probably will take a large capital expenditure, but unless you correct this odorous situation, the crowd will continue to go elsewhere. You got off to a great start--don't let it slip away.




I have beautiful hair. Does this mean I am going to turn into a huge pie wagon after a couple of kids?
girl + pretty + big pine = tourist.
Hey, Quit comparing people from New Jersey to foul-smelling bathrooms. I represent that remark.
Re: No parks in Big Pine. There is Watson Field, and Blue Heron Park. There is a beautiful park/playground the end of Wilder Road, Veteran's Memorial Park and Beach. There is the Blue Hole and the nature trail there, Watson Hammock Nature Trail, Fred Mannillo Nature Trail, Jack Watson's Nature Trail, The Key Deer Refuge at the end of Watson Road, and more, way more. But, "We don't have parks on Big Pine because of the got miners that hate children". Blind and ignorant. What would you like me to do to prove my love for your children? They're fabulous. They are genius! They're exquisite. Keep it up! I tell you what, give me your p.o. box so I can just keep sending you checks as you keep producing your profound contributions to the quality of life.
Yesterday was the birthday of Mel Brooks, born Melvin Kaminsky, in Brooklyn, New York (1926). Mel Brooks and his three older brothers were raised by their mother who had come to the United States from Kiev. According to Mel Brooks, she spoke no known language and spoke it with an Irish accent. She was widowed and penniless. She found a job in the garment district, working ten hours a day. She brought home extra work for the evenings, but still kept her apartment clean, and her Children neat and well-dressed. Mel Brooks said, "She was my company. She really was responsible for the growth of my imagination."

Mel Brooks is known for his comedies, including, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein, and The Producers.

I can't believe someone complained about having a free concert at the House of Music.





Why is the King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache?

Wednesday June 28, 2005

 

Tuesday June 28, 2005

To the person that said "We don't have parks on Big Pine because many of the got miners truly believe that a park will lower their property value":  Where exactly do you live?  The last I looked, there are at least 3 parks on Big Pine already, for example, Blue Heron Park, not to mention a ball field.  And I hardly ever see anyone using these parks.  Exactly how many more parks do you want that no one will use?  It might not decrease the dollar value of your home, but it would definitely limit the number of people that might be interested in buying your house.  I bet most people would be screaming if a park was going to be built across the street from their home. 
 
I am getting so tired of people blaming everything on the "got miners".  This reminds me of the mindset during the incorporation battle in 2000.  Are you jealous that these people have worked their entire lives to get where they are and you are still working at it?  And whether they have children or grandchildren or not, I believe they have as much right to speak up about parks or anything else concerning the children, since almost 40% of their property taxes goes towards the education of our children.  Now who's being stupid?
 
Since you like Marathon's beautiful parks so much, why don't you move there?  When I was a kid, I would have given anything to be able to live in the middle of a "natural" park as the refuge.  Why don't you take your kids out and walk the nature trails and learn a little about our beautiful island?
Hey, quit picking on Captain Dan. He's a good guy and has contributed a lot to the community.
Re: Monday heart attacks. Job return anxiety.  Boy, I could write a book.
Re: We will never see a park on BPK. Watson field is what we have so be thankful. No one is protesting it. I would love for us to be able to have a community beach.  Residents only.
When my father was teaching me to drive a long time ago I most remember him telling me to always stop at railroad crossings because if I got hit by a train it would be because I was on the tracks not the train on the road.  I think the same advice applies in the case of the recent shark attacks.  The sharks will not come out of the water to get you. 
I was wondering if the person who posted the message a short while ago about the big difference in two different modular home manufactures and gave a example of two that were side by side on Ramrod Key would send me or post the streets where they are and again who manufactured them. I would love to see them. I lost the message or can't seem to find it.
Hi Big Pine, It was so great to visit my home.  I was so lucky to live and be part of this great no name town for 3+ years that when I come to visit now it breaks my heart.  This is a warning.  Don't sell and move unless you are 100% sure that's what you want to do because it's real hard to move back after the fact, in other words once your gone your gone!  When you come to visit you're driving with the tourists in the traffic jams.  You aren't a local anymore, and there ain't nothing better then being a Big Pine Key Local.  It's the best title and honor you can have.  So stop the gossip and start the partying and love thy neighbor.  I miss that rock 100 miles into the ocean.

Does anyone know who
dumped the old truck-topper on Crane Boulevard yesterday, across from Sugarloaf School?  What a lovely addition to our community.  I would love to see him named right here on this board, and given the recognition he so richly deserves.
Sometimes "things happen" in the course of your life time you can never expect.  Your state of mind may take over when one least expects it to.  You may think at the time you're justified to do whatever it takes to help a helpless living soul to survive.  Only your spiritual inspiration knows why.  If you choose to judge a person who has made a devastating choice perhaps it is because you know how you have made your own choices.  Have you ever made a choice which has not given you the results your expected?  Don't let yourself live with the misfortunes of others only to make their wrong right with you.  Prove to yourself that you have never made a bad decision and then live with what others do to make your perfect world suck for yourself.


Big surprise. NASCAR fans do like to eat. There are some big old boys out there following those races and they are proud of their beer guts.
I too am interested in the whole True Value sale. I just hope a developer won't buy and condo-ize it. I don't think its zoned for that anyway. It would have to be another commercial business of some sort.
Re: fat girls. My girlfriend works out six days a week, has beautiful hair, and always eats the lime in her Corona. Should I be looking for a replacement before she blows up and starts grazing at a local bar?

Re: Scenic Highway. A draft of the Interpretive Master Plan report text, graphics and maps are available for review on the RMPK web site : http://www.rmpkgroup.com/florida_keys/

 Jim Morrison. A friend of mine told me about his first date with his wife; he took her to a Doors concert when they came to Miami. He told me J.M. was very drunk and started to ask the audience if they wanted to see his dick. He unzipped his fly and pulled it out. My friend didn't say anything about masturbation, so I don't know about that. Police soon arrested Morrison for the crime.
Kudos to the HOM for their Sat. "Beatles" show. It was a lot of fun, but one small aside to the "porch" area. It's a little stinky sometimes. Do you think we could get some incense out there or something? Citronella? A couple of fans to clear the air? Blue Mother Tupelo is playing next Thursday (for FREE!) and I can't wait to see them, hope the "air has cleared" by then. 
I like it that you screw up the dates every now and then.  It makes things more interesting.  Rock on!
Is it only me?  Waste Management seems impervious to any complaints.  I have called for four weeks to have a large pile of palm fronds picked up.  There is supposed to be a courtesy to the handicapped.  I have constantly been reminded that they are back logged and since I am not paying for the pickup, that this is a favor to me and I should stop complaining.
 
It is easy to tell if the trash trucks have been through the streets.  There is always garbage strewn all over as the workers seem to dump half the contents of the containers in the hopper and the other half onto the streets. And why does the county require garden waste to be gift wrapped?  In most other places a truck with a claw, scoops up the debris and drives away.  I have even seen these modern machines operated by men without enormous attitudes. 
Good luck with the mini-season Lobster Mini-Fest idea.  Work it!
To the person defending Captain Dan. If he is a captain where is the boat? Dan, myself and millions of other people in the Keys are captains. Only the ones who are impressed with themselves introduce themselves as captain off the boat. Captains who can run a boat run a boat. Captains who can not run a boat tend bar. Maybe he should change his name to "Bar Keep Dan" to show his job. If people want Key Deer to become good let's forget bringing in a new cook and sell it back to Cynthia again. She knew how to run it as a family restaurant.
Here is another entrapment moo warning. It happened to me:
 
Beware of the girl who's holding it in. There are many fat women in the Key's bars and offices who are passing as thin women only through extraordinary devotion to grueling exercise programs and dangerous diets. Once these women get married, they'll have to let go and become what they really are -- huge, fat pie wagons who will feel no compunction about wearing black slacks and blouses to the beach. They never lose this weight and will add another twenty or thirty pounds with each child. These gals are very clever and often manage to snare nice-looking men. They go right into childbirth, home mortgage and furniture investment so that when the metamorphosis from slender to zeppelin is complete, the husband is too heavily invested, emotionally and financially, to get out.
Sad day at Pooh Corner: The actors who provided the film voices of two classic Winnie the Pooh characters, Tigger and Piglet, have both died. In a sad coincidence, Paul Winchell, the voice of Tigger, who was also an accomplished ventriloquist and inventor, died on Friday in California at the age of 82. And John Fielder, the actor behind Piglet, died on Saturday; he was 80.
Re: local soap opera. You sure have a lot to say to someone who's business it isn't. You need not apologize for not living up to my expectations. I'm not disappointed. I was only talking about the very words that you used (not mine). I'm pretty sure no one is in Nashville because the man even wrote to us all saying he turned around in Key Largo. You guy's have two different stories. Not I. Declining an offer from a small record deal, I own a record co. that doesn't mean much these days (you know that). I wasn't criticizing Iraq or insulting aspirations of going National (I wish all musicians would be heard nationally). Some times peoples' words and dreams move a lot faster than reality. I wish your place the best, just don't get ahead of yourselves.  I will use this opportunity to ask why with all the big plans you told me about you didn't mention fixing the smell of sewage in your bar. That is your number 1 enemy. I will bet your crowds double once you fix that instead of just waiting around to be discovered and telling us about it.
There are several good reasons for not going to Big Pine House of Music for free entertainment. Not all the concerts are free, the beer and beverage prices are way out of line, the food is decent but overpriced for what it is, the whole place stinks, I mean really reeks, and the "regulars" are vulgar, mouthy and rude. So what's better to do on a Saturday night in Big Pine? Sit outside at the Key Deer, hear the music for free, enjoy some good company and fairly priced beers or other drinks. Or stay home, grill out, play your own favorite tunes and turn in early.
Re: Live Music. "No matter what" should have been called a British Invasion tribute Band not a Beatles tribute band, however this is no complaint. these guy's were very good and compared to 20 or 30 dollars it was totally FREE.  What is wrong with you people? A lot of people missed a great show, which brings up a good point. "We the people" need to support live music, nothing against Karaoke (O.K. karaoke supporters, let me have it), but isn't karaoke just like playing records when we were young? But when our friends would start singing we would tell them to shut up. Our local bars hire experienced professional people for your enjoyment and most of them are very good at what they do. I, for one, only go to a bar that has live entertainment. If they don't what's the point? I can talk on my porch. So support places that bring you real singers playing real instruments or we will no longer have all the great entertainment around that we have now. Try something new!
New Jersey people:
  • Many New Jersey residents are rude and obnoxious. Take those middle fingers and stick them in your mouths--you'll know what crap tastes like!
  • Your typical Jersey girl is shallow, trashy, loud, and has more issues than a magazine stand. Even the hookers are rude!
  • Even though Jersey girls like to pretend they are fair maidens, they lead the nation in the percentage of women who are infected with HIV.
  • Many Jersey guys are on unemployment, disability, rehab, electronic monitoring, or just plain incarcerated. (By the way, these stupid Jersey girls consider these guys to be great potential fathers for their children!)
  • Compared to other states, a disproportionate number of New Jersey people are on public assistance. Why should my tax dollars be used to support all of these ne'er-do-wells? Not anymore!
  • New Jersey has the seventh highest number of illegal immigrants in the nation.
  • Most of the people who love New Jersey have never lived anywhere else. Even worse, many have never been anywhere outside of New Jersey! It is no surprise that New Jersey is shaped like a cocoon to symbolize such an insular mentality.


The ball field is finally getting improved parking. Now maybe the rear ends of the cars won't stick out into the traffic lane. That took them about twenty years to address the problem.

Bagels? Those are the nastiest doughnuts I have ever tasted. Keep them up in New York!
I've got to laugh about you "having trouble with dates, names, anything important".  Kudos and Whiners is the perfect place for you, since getting things wrong is part of the entertainment!  (And provided by a lot of the contributors!)
I heard a rumor that the Summerland shrimp farm is being converted to a "Teasers". I wonder where they will get the women from? Honduras? Cool.
Maybe if the bathrooms were clean and the place didn't smell like New Jersey more people would go to the House of Music


Paul Winchell, 82, an early television ventriloquist who provided goofy voice-overs for such animated characters as Winnie the Pooh's friend Tigger and who invented a version of the artificial heart, died June 24 at his home in Moorpark, Calif.
Re: how many signs. Why would the Boondocks or any other business for that matter pay money to a place that slanderously insults you . People have the right to voice free speech, but when you choose to print something slanderous about people you better know what your printing, Ed. I have  read your submission guide and can't figure out why the person who wrote this isn't revealed. unless you have proof of what you printed you are doing a big injustice to everyone . If this idiot has some proof (which he doesn't) then let him be known. Let him or her be seen for the real jerk that they are. And let them explain themselves. They will have no good explanation because they have some personal vendetta. We all know if anyone is a coke head and owns a business you will see it slowly go down hill, but since they have been in town it has been improvement after improvement . These are good people that you have chose to slander. Hey Ed,  re-read your rules and explain to me why you choose not to reveal this liar.  They clearly state the name, Boondocks and owners and according to your own rules this is of a negative personal nature. And is as good as mentioning their names without adding the name of the true source you are as guilty of slander as Dan Rather was for not verifying a story he reported. You have revealed people who have said far less.
(Ed: I don't recall the posting you are referring to. I looked but could not find it. If there was any reference to anyone's use of drugs I would have posted their name. Many things slip past me, but accusations seldom do. If any such thing was posted here, I sincerely apologize to the fine folks at Boondocks. I drink there and like the place very much.)








We should start a protest march over the ugly signs. Stop the tourist from entering the Keys. These next 2 week ends would be a good start, but Mini-season week end would top it off!
Re: You want and want. Wow you must have had a fun childhood. You sound like a real happy person. Thank God you haven't reproduced any children. God knows I don't want my children around them.
Babs and Dirk are back from Vegas. Yee-Haa!

Tuesday June 28, 2005

 

Monday June 27, 2005



On Monday mornings there are 20% more heart attacks and people's blood pressure is higher. They say its because of job return anxiety. Have a nice day.

Ed, you really need to get a 2005 calendar. Monday is the 4th, Sunday is the 3rd and Saturday is the 2nd.
(Ed: Oops! the Moondogs Independence day jam on Picnic Island is Sunday July 3 around noon, or so. I got the date wrong yesterday. I have trouble with dates, names, faces and anything important.)
I have been to the Big Pine House of Music a few times.  They have some really good bands there.  I went last night to see a Beatles cover band and they were good.  What I didn't understand is why there weren't more people there.  What is it that people are doing in Big Pine on a Saturday night that is better than watching live bands for free.  Also some of the people that do attend theses performances are just as entertaining to watch as are the bands that are playing.  I'm afraid that if we do not support the only place offering this sort of entertainment that pretty soon they may not be around at all.
I always brag on the pizza from A Slice of Paradise, but the other night we got one after 10pm from Pizzaworks and it was great. The new people look like they are doing a nice job. The place was clean, very clean. The smell of fresh baked bread was to die for. I could see they had just baked a ton of rolls for subs and I was impressed. The Pizza was right up there with Paradise. I am going to do it again.
Well, "Captain", if you are a "Captain" and don't want to be called one, kudos to you. Captain Dan is a Captain and is addressed so out of respect from his friends and associates. If you've earned it, I wouldn't necessarily call it arrogance. The people that hang out at The Key Deer are just a bunch of fun loving, smoking, (tobacco) locals that like to just kick back and have a good time. Some of us have money, some don't. So why don't you take your self righteous Captain's-ass and go somewhere like Key West with the rest of the self righteous jerks. That goes for the rest of you that don't like B.P.K.
I was told by someone in Marathon that Singh purchased the shrimp farm some
time ago when they went out of business. Of course, he's planning to change
the zoning for condos I hope that that's just a rumor.
Yes, we have Bagels here on BPK in the WD shopping center at Bagel Island. They are almost as good as a NY bagel since new owners have taken over.  Good luck, and i hope their coffee is better.  A good cup of coffee will bring good business. The previous coffee was too weak.)
Re: The Jersey woman was spotted early Tuesday in Key Largo. The Jersey woman was seen early this morning on I-95 northbound headed in the general of, well, north. Are you stalking this woman? Do you have an infatuation with her? Are you a UPS driver and you radio each other where people are? Get a life!
Those UPS drivers will give you anything you ask for. But beware, they may want to keep you!
Today we were behind a reckless driver on US 1 talking on their cell phone while passing cars on the double yellow and nearly missing a head on collision as they passed us. We called *FHP and gave them the information. We had missed our turn while reading off the license number to the officer. As we were turning around we saw a Monroe Co. Sheriff's car pull out and take off after the reckless driver. That felt good.
Re: The Long Winded Tome-- Darren Bell. You're still not getting it. No one is disagreeing with you. I don't know anybody that doesn't think this was an unnecessary tragedy and that he should answer for his crimes. To those who need to learn to think twice before they hit the accelerator, this should be a wake up call. If you are a good defensive driver then maybe you need to be the one to speak out constructively.

But you're still just screaming about it (which is your right) but I implore you again, do something constructive with your anger and outrage. Call the H.R. director and the General Manager at LPI. Call or write a letter to our local court system. Start a petition. I'm sure you'll get the signatures you need in no time. Just stop ranting, it's not good for your blood pressure.


Reflection 27 This cool prayer comes from "A Maryknoll Book of Prayer". We all need to say this one over and over:

I've me a mind that is not bored That does not whimper, whine, or sigh. Don't let me worry overmuch about That fussy thing called I. Give me a sense of humor, Lord. Give me the grace to see a joke, To find some happiness in life, And pass it on to other folk.

Liberals and conservatives alike (especially you ultra left wingers) should look at the message found at the following web site.  It’s a powerful reminder.  The site address is: http://patriotfilesannex.org/america_wake_up.htm  You might want to view a few of the other files as well.  Especially the dems and Clintonistas. 
To the DOT person who wrote "They do have a good system and people on duty 24/7 to update the signs." Just because you think they have a good system doesn't mean it will work. I have lived in major cities with these signs and they are updated at the speed of your typical government employee.
Dynamic message signs. Protest Contact information. Email them now, or else!
I heard, in a local pub, yesterday that the alleged shrimp farm at MM24 is either a front for the CIA, or some type of micro-brewery. If it's the former, I hope they are not messing up the Keys ecology by flushing Korans; if the latter, where can I sample the beer?

We really enjoyed the NASCAR from Sonoma yesterday. But one thing got me. Are those announcers fans that they brought in? They all had big guts and looked like they were glad it was over so they could go eat.
Re: Darren Bell. Do not ask for whom the Bell tolls, it could toll for thee, if he is still driving. Let's hope not.

I have one question, what year calendar do you guys use? You are always getting the days and dates wrong. You just told them Saturday the 3rd. No, Sunday is the 3rd and Monday is the 4th of July the legal holiday which makes Saturday the 2nd. We need to get you some Starbucks.
We don't have parks on Big Pine Key because many of the got miners truly believe that a park will lower their property value. Is that stupid or what? Who ever heard of a public park that enhances a neighborhood decreasing property values? Look at Marathon or Key Largo. Their public parks are beautiful and if anything, have increased the value and integrity of the property values. Most of these complainers have no children or grandchildren. If they do, they shouldn't because they obviously hate children. As if they weren't children themselves once.



I am offended by the term "entrapment moos" used by a submitter; the proper term is latent behemoth, and these can be avoided if one knows what to look for. For starters:

The Five Signs of Future Fat
  1. All of her clothing is too tight. She is struggling to keep in a size she outgrew long ago.
  2. Short legs and waddling gait
  3. She insists on total darkness for sex.
  4. Her hair looks fabulous. She is concentrating on the one part of her body that will not get fat.
  5. She eats the lime in her Corona

Apparently I spelled Minifest wrong because it came out manifest. Mini-season hence, Minifest. Hope I spelled everything right this time.
You want and want. You have brand new giant schools in Key West, Sugarloaf, and Tavernier, you do have parks and tennis courts, and ball fields, and bike paths and more all over the place, and yet, "The open palm of desire wants everything, it wants everything, it wants soil as soft as summer, and the strength to push like spring"

I elected not to have children. If you want a bike path and recreational park, how about you buy the property and and putting what you like on it. That would be good. I would like to see a goddamn road get repaired around here that hasn't been touched in 35 or 40 years. They are tearing the guts out of my truck. But hey...

Get your kid ready for the world, not the other way round. If they're fed and clothed, they ought to be happy. Now I feel better too.

The Summerland shrimp farm only breeds  shrimp. They are shipped to Honduras to mature, where the climate is more suitable for them to grow.  Also because of cheaper labor.
Re: Key Deer Bar and Grill. I have been reading closely all the messages about the place. Yes, I see a few drunks in there, but that's normal for most places down here. I like that the smokers can sit outside and drink and smoke. I "was" an avid Key Deer Bar patron eating there most weeks one or two nights. I loved listening to some of the great talent, Mike Green on Fridays and Gary & Louie or Terry Cassidy on Sat. nights. There have been some good cooks there and good gals waiting the tables. But I have seen that Dan has run the good ones off. He is always crying about his help either stealing or being drunk. Well in a few cases I suspect he is right, but not in all of them and lately it seems every time we went in, there were all new employees. I no longer go there even though I did like the atmosphere and the food. The last 3 times I have been there the food was awful. The pizza was burnt black and not made right. The chicken fingers were still raw, the steamed veggies overcooked and contained only squash, etc. That last time was the final straw. It was not a busy Friday night, but we sat for 40 minutes and never got waited on or even approached. Even after we said something to Dan and also to Ester (who is not a people person and the reason a number of good girls have quit working there). We got up left, went down the street to Conch and Stein and were waited on and received decent food in short order.

One other question, why is Mike Green no longer playing at Key Deer? Could it be that the girl playing keyboard there on Friday nights now is Capt Dan's family and he pays her less? She does a good job, but belongs in a Holiday Inn lounge playing piano, not in an Island Bar. Enough said. I'm one customer who will be finding a new place to eat.


Re: Children's Parks. If you've ever lived anywhere near a park you know why no one wants them in their neighborhood. The persistent noise and yelling will drive you to drink.

Monday June 27, 2005

 

Sunday June 26, 2005



Mosquito Control
. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Dynamic message signs. Protest Contact information. Email them now, or else!
Re: Capt. Dan. He should be yelling at his employees. I'd be yelling too, if they turned out food like that.

The islands on the north side of the Saddlebunch Keys are the most photogenic mangrove views in all the Keys.

Free at last, free at last. The Lower Keys are free at last.  The Jersey woman was seen early this morning on I-95 northbound headed in the general of, well, north.  Probably now able to hear and instinctively feel the obnoxious environment of her native habitat, pest control experts predict that she will continue her current course until finally reaching her native New Joisey. Thankfully, due to the fact that there was no one left in the Keys to offend, vex, insult, perturb, harass, harangue, upset, distress, cheat, bitch at and grumble to she is not expected to return.  Unfortunately, others members of the species are preparing their annual trek.  Use extreme caution when being approached by a woman with a huge purse, gold slippers and giant ear rings who reeks of lilac and garlic.


Jim Morrison
of the Doors was barred from performing in Miami (I think) for masturbating on stage. Is that true? I heard that it did happen. Just how did he go about it? Did he get naked or just take it out of his pocket or what? were any of you there?
To the people who seem surprised that Capt Dan of Key Deer yelled at an employee, why are you surprised?  Look at the dump he runs.  A person who is a class act would run a respectable class act restaurant.  Just the fact that he introduces himself as Captain says he is arrogant.  I also hold a master captain license but have never even on the boat introduced myself as "Captain."
20,000 signatures? I doubt it. I can appreciate unplanned inconveniences on US1. Once, in 15 years, I had to sit in traffic for 4 hours while the FHP investigated a double traffic fatality on the 7 Mile Bridge. Would I have done anything differently if I had been dynamically messaged? No! Would the person traveling from Key Largo to Marathon, who was inconvenienced by the propane leak, have done anything differently if (s)he had been messaged? Didn't say.

"Screw me"? I doubt it. Unnecessarily screw the beauty and serenity of the drive through the the Keys? Yes! If you need to be constantly alerted to what's over the next bridge, someone screwed you years ago. And, for that, I feel sorry for you.
Protest Contact information
It doesn't matter how many signs 2-4-20 puts up the pizza sucks and the sandwiches have turned to crap. Go figure, Boondocks owns the place and they aren't much better. Oh, and they will not spend money to advertise on this site cause they spend it all on doing booger!
They do have a good system and people on duty 24/7 to update the signs. The got-miners are just looking for any excuse to whine and whimper. And living on Big Pine for 30 years does not make you a local . Being born here to a Conch whose parents were Conchs does. Soon enough the Big Pine hotel will be condos then you got-miners will see what us true locals have had to put up with for years.
I would like to be the first to encourage all the folks who want to move back to New York to do so. After all, the Keys have no culture, bagels, intelligentsia, trendiness and the other things that make the Big Apple the place to be. The quaint folks down here can only hope that one day our little town will be as cool as New York City.
This is strange but true and it's going to drive you crazy!

While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

Now, While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
Your foot will change direction and there's nothing you can do about it!

The good news is that the Mosquito Control Board is elected. Remember that the next time you vote. Let's get a Board that will actually control those buggers.
Cheney with his phony statement that we're winning the war in Iraq reminds me of McNamara (from the Vietnam War) and his phony body counts that made it look like we were winning that war too. Words don't win wars. It not only looks like we're going to lose the Iraq war, but Afghanistan is heating up again. We're in deep doo-doo. Vietnam, Somalia, Iraq. Yeah, we're mighty.
There aren't 20,000 people in the Keys who would agree on anything. The pro-sign person has got to be a northerner and a big dickweed to boot.
Protest Contact information
Shrimp Farm at about MM24 across from the new Boy Scout Camp. I think it's some shady seafood import scam set up to circumvent our import laws. I've never had a shrimp from there. Have You?
What time do the Moondogs start at Picnic Island Sunday?  I seriously doubt that any locals would leave garbage on the island. Those of us who frequent it every Sunday all year treasure it too much.  I will be there on Sunday and will help with any needed cleanup.
(Ed: They said it's Saturday July 3 and will start around noon [Keys time].)
To all restaurants.  Please stop using MSG in your food.  It is totally unnecessary and only makes the people who eat the food with it sick the next day.  I know right away when I get up the next morning after eating out if MSG was in the food. Have you ever gone out to eat and not drink any alcohol and wonder why you have a hang over the next day, head ache sick in your stomach and overall feeling of depression and fatigue?  Well, that's MSG poisoning. I don't know why the food and drug administration hasn't banned it yet. Chefs think they are being smart by using it because it brings out the flavor of the food. MSG can actually kill a person who is allergic to it. It also triggers migraine headaches.
I hope that was a joke about Big Pine Motel going condo. I think they are going to have a
name change for Marathon to Singh City.
Re: Pizza. I don't work for any pizza place, but I like good pizza. The best pizza on Big pine is Pizza Works, followed by Big Pine, then Key Deer then 2-4-20, but the worst is House of Music, by far.
Re: "If someone knew that Darren Bell had "been doing this crazy driving crap on the road for as long as he's lived on Big Pine Key" why wasn't he reported to the Sheriff's Office before he caused an accident?" ...Long-winded tomes


Re: $15,000,000
 For mosquito control! Where do they buy them?

Sunday June 26, 2005

 

Saturday June 25, 2005


One more time about those signs: If they don't have a good system or people to update the information, then the signs are basically worthless. A dedicated a.m. station would be the best thing.
Re: dynamic signs.  This is a personal invitation to the idiot with the petition, come on out to Picnic Island. We'd love to meet you and bring your petition.
Someone sent this to me. My office mate and I thought it was truly hysterical, cause you can just picture it. Hope you can print it. How to Shower Like a Woman...Long-winded tomes
This is where he learned the Moonwalk. Michael Jackson dancing bird:
First off I want to say I love this web site and I am so glad my friend told me about it cause now I can speak what's on my mind. Thank you.
 
Maybe someone can explain to me why Marathon has so many parks for the kids?  I had to take the kids to the dentist today at the other end of Marathon and they always want me to stop at this wonderful park near Leigh Ann's Coffee Shop.  I'm not sure what the name of it is but we call it the Shark/Castle Park.  I noticed as I drove thru Marathon I counted at least 6 parks/sport complexes that you can see from US1. So why can't we get one big beautiful park between Big Pine and Key West? Yes, I know we have the Blue Heron Park. It's nice and they offer a lot of fun activities for the families, but come on, what's the problem?
 
If you think about it, we don't even have a bike path thru most of the Lower Keys until you get to Lower Sugarloaf.  What really gets me about this park is in the past 2-3 years that we stop by... there is not one person or child there! Maybe I just answered my own question. Our community must be afraid nobody will use it; or is it just because they care about the Key Deer more than our children; or it's just plain old politics? Ok. Thanks for listening. I feel better now.
I agree with those who object to the erection (uh, sorry), placement of the hideous Dynamic Message Signs in the Keys. It’s bad enough that we have to look at all of the Key Deer signs all over Big Pine with the flashing lights and the crap painted on the roadway. It’s bad enough the touristas aren’t paying any attention to their driving anyway trying to spot one of those cute deer or straining their necks looking for the Blue Hole. Now, while they’re talking on their cell phone to get directions to their Key West hotel they can slam into the car in front because they were trying to read the signs as well. I sent the following e-mail to Gov. Bush. I encourage all who are opposed to this ridiculous project to do the same.

Sir,
Please intervene and actively work to stop the placement of the large Dynamic Message Signs being suggested for U.S. 1 through the Florida Keys.
As you know, the Keys and Highway 1 are one of the most beautiful areas in our country. Erecting the proposed signs would accomplish little other than to distract from the scenic beauty of the surrounding landscape. U.S. 1 is not a big city freeway or urban transportation artery with alternate routes. It is simply a historical route passing through many small towns and communities.
Residents of the Keys are subject to ever increasing regulations limiting or prohibiting new construction, home improvement, business development and many other areas that affect our daily lives in the names of environmental protection, protected habitat or areas of critical concern. It seems, however, that various agencies can circumvent the limitations at will and implement environmentally offensive and relatively needless and costly projects such as the subject signs.
As a Keys resident, and for the protection of the beauty of the Florida Keys, I respectfully request that you object to this project and work to stop the placement of the signs.



Why is that Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise?
Pro-signage. http://www.keynoter.com/articles/2005/06/22/news/news02.txt Not to help out the other team or anything... but you don't need to petition for the dynamic signs to the mainland government that supports putting them up in the first place. You need to make your voice heard to the local officials who are against putting the signs up. Sounds like you didn't think that one through... (much like the DOT idiots who thought it up in the first place). Good thing you got 20,000 signatures!!! I hope they put a dynamic sign in your front lawn and it flashes "The entire population of Monroe County is estimated at 80,000 people and it is impossible for you to have collected 1/4 of their signatures."

For reference: http://thefloridakeys.com/facts.htm

Re: Well, it was hard, but I got over 20,000 people to sign a petition supporting the new dynamic signs! We sent it to Tallahassee this morning! so, screw you all. We also plan on gathering more signatures over the holiday weekend in Key West and at the sand bar. And we will be sending them up to the capital too! You aren't the only ones using US1 you know.


Yes, Thursday was the 23rd. I know, because it was my birthday. Thank you Barb, Peggy, Darryl, Fish, & Capt. Dan for making it so enjoyable. You guys are the best !

Have you given up on yard sales? I don't see a button on your home page anymore
(Ed: The yard sales page was not very popular, so we axed it. If you're having a yard sale, email us and we'll gladly print it here on Kudos and Whiners.)
Re: No Matter what. Are you sure you didn't accidentally book the Badfinger tribute band?
Questions, questions. What is going in at the  True Value property? Why wont they tell us? What's going in at the old Montego Bay? I hear McDonalds has plans for that one. What happened to Wendy's moving into the Winn-Dixie Plaza? That's been a quite subject. I hope Walgreens hurries up I can't wait to see that new store. Think of how many people they are going to employ there.  When are they going to start to redevelop the Big Pine Key Motel? I hear that's been sold and it's going to be condos. Out with the old, in with the new.
The only thing that interested me on this website Friday is Debbie aka Pampered Paws. She is awesome. I never leave home without her. She takes care of my babies (and very reasonably), but I really don't want you guys to know about her so forget what I said.



Have you notice how hot those men in brown are?  UPS drivers are hot!
Week Synapses: The V for a U is a Roman thing. It looks ancient therefore cool. I'm glad to hear positive input concerning the dynamic signs. Quit pickin' on Capt. Dan, you can't help where you're born (Jersey). Pretzel logic guy is really out of it Wal-Mart has never showed any interest in Big Pine.
Condos. Is everyone aware of what's happening to the Keys? We are being invaded like the Indians having their land taken from them back in those days by the greedy white men. Well, its happening all over. Read the paper. Every day these developers are buying all the most unique quaint little businesses and putting condos in. What's happening to America? Why do people suddenly all want to live in condos? I don’t understand why you all want to come down here to live in a cement building, all looking like clone buildings, blocking out the view of the beauty of the paradise you all came down here for.  We're all so sick of you greedy, blind, ignorant people. Go live in Miami cement city. Learn from the Mayan civilization. Cut down all the trees for your cement jungle and there's nothing to hold the winds and rains back from the hurricanes. So you'll all drown and burn from no shade trees.  Live on rich and greedy.


Fridays with Mitch- Thank you!  Those were great. You have succeeded in making at least one person smile.
Calling the "Liberals Suck Guy" a Boy George kool-aid drinking guy is hilarious. For one, he's a republican and obviously a heterosexual and saying that he is White and implying that Republicans are all white is also absurd. We republicans are about right and not about color.
In response to Local soap opera. Between the lines you got it wrong and just supposing it is any of your business, the band "Angus Bangus" declined an offer from a small record company. The drummer went on vacation with his family and is now back with the band (if you really were here the other night you would have seen him). As of yesterday, Friday June 24, one of us is in Nashville talking to record people. Some people in the band want to tour and some people want to build something special here in Big Pine (that's known as a difference of opinion between people).

 You appear to criticize entertaining our people in Iraq (even if you don't like what they're doing they're still our people) and you seem to want to insult somebody with aspirations to go national. I will say a prayer for you. Molly Hatchet's singer did die last year, but the band still goes on and still puts on a great performance. We do have big plans for Big Pine.  We are trying to develop Manifest for the week of mini lobster season, with costume contests, weigh-in contests, bands & shows and we would like to get together with other businesses to promote this idea for Big Pine & the lower keys. We still bring in concerts, bands, face painting, tarot card reading and still have plans for a music festival in October. I humbly apologize for not living up to your expectations.

 

Stop blight and spying. Protect your Keys and your privacy.
It's now or never to stop them from installing the signs any further down the Keys.  Hurry!

 

Governor Jeb Bush
Email: jeb.bush@myflorida.com 
Fax: 850-487-0801 
Write: Governor Jeb Bush
         PL 05 The Capitol
         400 S. Monroe Street
         Tallahassee, FL 32399-0001.
 
Dixie Spehar
boccdis1@monroecounty-fl.gov
Phone: (305)292-3440
FAX: (305)292-3466
George Neugent
boccdis2@monroecounty-fl.gov
Neugent-George@monroecounty-fl.gov
Phone: 305-872-1678, 292-4512
Fax: 305-872-9195
 
Murray Nelson
boccdis5@monroecounty-fl.gov
Phone: (305)852-7175
FAX: (305)852-7162
Rep. Ken Sorensen
ken.sorensen@myfloridahouse.gov
Phone: (850) 488-9965
FAX: (305) 853-1947
 
Charles "Sonny" McCoy
boccdis3@monroecounty-fl.gov
Phone: (305)-292-3430
FAX: (305)292-3577
David P. Rice
boccdis4@monroecounty-fl.gov 
PHONE: (305)289-6000
FAX: (305)289-6306
Re:  Michael Jackson.  What's always funny is how an employee works for you for 20 years and always did a good job ( good enough to stay employed for 20 years) .But when you go tell the truth to the court, you are now a worthless disgruntled employee. I don't read tabloids either. Maybe that's where you made your mistake. All I have is one question: Would you let your kids stay with M.J.? Case closed.


Those big road signs are a dumb idea for the Keys, but think of the money you would make if your bar/establishment was right before the sign; every car in line would empty into your place when the sign flashed "expect long delays". Maybe this is why we get a few comments supporting these abominations.

Enough with the bar bashing already!  We all know what BPK bar has what in terms of atmosphere, who has the good food and who doesn’t, who has the good help and who doesn’t and which owners are good guys and which ones are a**holes.  (We have a couple of each) 

You get to choose what place you’re comfortable in.  The food and drink places here will make it or they won’t based on their ability to attract a customer base by providing what their customers want.  If they go under it’s because they provided poor quality or service and lost their customers and help, (usually poor management).  If they pay attention and provide good food, drinks and service with a decent working environment they make a profit and survive, (usually good management).  I agree with most of the postings about the various businesses on BPK.  We’ve all read them over and over again but nothing much really changes anyway so let’s move on.  Locals have made their choices so the only people to influence here are the newbies and  tourists and nobody gives a hoot about them anyway.  I think I’ll go have a drink.  Montego Bay where are you?

I agree, all marriages should have an expiration date. Say, four to five years. If you treat each other decent, and still want to be together, renew the contract. If you split up, all property purchased within the contract period will be split 50/50. This will stop miserable marriages from ruining lives. Also, this would stop the lazy pregnant-on-purpose entrapment moos from leeching off a lifetime meal ticket. Maybe this would encourage the moos to lose that extra 100 pounds of fat they gained with their i agree, all marriages should have an expiration date. say, four to five years. if you treat each other decent, and still want to be together, renew the contract. if you split up, all property purchased within the contract period will be split 50/50. this will stop miserable marriages from ruining lives. also, this would stop the lazy pregnant-on-purpose entrapment moos from leeching off a lifetime meal ticket. maybe this would encourage the moos to lose that extra 100 pounds of fat they gained with their "oops, gotcha" pregnancy.
Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," or the first name of someone, or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.
Re: Dynamic signs. There is at least one idiot in every group. This is definitely ours.
Most people voiced their opinion on this site. Most posters are against it and tell their reason,
but this loser tells us all to "screw ourselves", and doesn't even give a reason why they support
the signs. Is there a good reason? Well, save it now because your rudeness makes me, for one, not care. There aren't 20,000 people stupid enough to sign a petition from someone that has told us to go screw ourselves. To the 20,000 signers: You could have picked a better leader
than this community insulter.

Gushing for Pampered Paws
- Deb is he is the best.  Deb is babysitting my niece's Golden while she is away for the summer and Deb is great with Emmy.  She comes twice a day and does everything from feeding and grooming to playing and hugs.  You can tell she is an animal lover by her total dedication.  Sometimes she brings her 2 Goldens to play with Emmy, which Emmy loves romping in the pool with or chasing around the patio. Definitely 2 thumbs up for Deb!
WWJD. What would Jesus do?
Maybe I'm an idiot, but aren't those signs that are being put up on roads all over Florida to be used for things like Amber Alerts or for highway information (such as accidents or road closings)?  They do not look good but their purpose is far more important than the fact that we may have to adjust our camera angle when taking a photo. I'd rather be alerted (when somebody has kidnapped one of our children) of a vehicle description or advised when  US 1 or Card Sound Road is closed. See the bigger picture folks.
Send that elitist Pig-Nig island guy back to New Jersey where he belongs. And what the heck is a Pig-Nig anyway?
The person who wrote the comment about Capt. Dan at Key Deer Bar was correct.  I have seen him go off with his temper and verbally abuse an employee.  It was embarrassing to me to have to watch it.  I can’t imagine how the poor employee felt being rudely shouted at in front of customers. If there was a problem it should have been discussed in private, calmly and in an adult manner. That’s the reason he can’t keep quality employees, the reason I don’t go there any longer, (besides the dollar beer drugged up dirt bags outside) and also the reason he will eventually go out of business.  You can’t treat employees like trash and expect quality work or any sort of loyalty.

Does anyone have kids at the boys & girls club at the Charter School by the Flea market? I just wanted to get some feedback about them. I'm thinking about signing my kids up if they have a spot available. Have a great weekend!
Re: V instead of U on old buildings. It's the old Roman way.
RE: Wal-Mart raver. Wal-Mart would kill all other business in Big Pine. You're clearly a part-time Piner.
 This weekend three planets will grace the western sky, forming a lovely trio easily visible shortly after sunset. Saturday evening in particular will find Saturn, Venus, and Mercury all within a 2 degree circle (about the size of your thumb held at arm's length) above the western horizon.
Another great link for pet friendliness is www.dogfriendly.com  Please take your pets with you over the 42 bridges during evacuations. Thank you -ruff ruff - meow - meow.
Re: Here's what I wrote to Jeb Bush. Was that your defining moment?



Brian and Sayuri
. Good luck on your move to New York. We will miss you very much. Come back to the Keys when you get tired of the city life. Love.
To all of the Rob's Bar and Grill bashers: Grow up! If you like Rob one way or another, it's quite irrelevant in my opinion to...Long-winded tomes
Re: 2-4-20.  So what pizza place do you work for?

Saturday June 25, 2005

 

Friday June 24, 2005

People from the Marathon and Boot Key Harbor communities are coming together next weekend to help a seven-year-old boy whose father died over Memorial Day weekend. Will Ladd, the son of popular Bill Jr. (Bj) Ladd, will be the recipient of a fund-raising event to be held at the Dockside Lounge, where his dad recently worked. The “Celebration of Life” will take place on Saturday, July 2, from 4 to 9 pm.

Organizers have opened a college fund to assist the boy, planning a food sale, 50/50 drawing, raffle, and auction. Several local entertainers will donate their time during the event.

Bj Ladd died on May 28 after slipping into a diabetic coma. He had worked as a server and floor manager at the Dockside Lounge on Boot Key Harbor, entertaining guests with his speedy service, amazing memory, and willingness to “ham it up” on stage with local performers. He made many friends during his years in Marathon.

Re: dynamic signs. Thanks for the addresses of Jeb Bush, you should leave these posted for a few days so lot's of us have the opportunity to write. I just did and challenge all my neighbors to do the same.

Email jeb.bush@myflorida.com  or fax kim at 850-487-0801 or write him: Governor Jeb Bush, PL 05 The Capitol, 400 S. Monroe Street, Tallahassee, FL 32399-0001.




15 delightful years
wedded to my best friend. Hip Hip Hooray!
This is for Reverend Richard Derreth whom is about to depart from United Methodist Church. Those who went behind his back should be ashamed of themselves. For ousting a man whom cares for his fellow man as Jesus did long ago. Pastor Richard opened his doors to the cold, tired, and weary. Who needed temporary shelter from the Keys' raging storms. Churches are supposed to do that anyway. Or letting people whom are just out of luck with a home, staying at the church until they find or make their way. It's those people whom got fed up with all the bums. And you call yourself a Christian? Shame on you. Shame on all of you. WWJD(?), Pastor Richard Lives by. The rest of you are out to get another check mark on your score card "Do To List To Get into Heaven" It's not about keeping score or getting a tax break or deduction.  He's leaving on the 26th and we will be there to say our farewells and to say to those who ousted him behind his back by signing a petition that the residents of Big Pine Key didn't know about or they would have stopped it. Shame on you all. 

Kudos to the very kind folks at the Little Torch Jehovah Witness Church. The other day I ran out of gas and was lucky enough to coast into their parking lot. After offering me cold water and to come into the a/c, they found some gas in the shed and helped me on my way and refused to take any money that I had offered.  Thanks friends.
Re: Key Deer Bar. It's funny how people tell you they hang out there or have been there to see, right before they tell you that nothing but losers and addicts go there. Look in the mirror. Now what do you think of their cliental?
Who knows the name of the officer that hit the man on the bike ? This was on big pine.
Re: statue in the park. Does anyone know why old buildings use a letter "V" in place where a "U" should go.
Do you have to be a member to go to the Moose Splash party this Saturday?
OK, tell us why we call it Winn-DickMe?
Well, it was hard, but I got over 20,000 people to sign a petition supporting the new dynamic signs! We sent it to Tallahassee this morning! so, screw you all. We also plan on gathering more signatures over the holiday weekend in Key West and at the sand bar. And we will be sending them up to the capital too! You aren't the only ones using US1 you know.
Pretzle Logic. Shame on all those who complain about Winn Dixie, the bars, and CVS. It's your fault. Why? Because you voted against Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart would make all the troubles go away. But you don't want it so you're stuck with bad service. You bitch about the cats and key deer. Well guess what, if it weren't for the deer, we'd be like Key West with condo's and strip malls on every corner. Bitch about the cats, in case you haven't noticed, there aren't as many chickens around like there are in Key West and there aren't any disease carrying rodents either. Stop once and awhile, and look at the deer and the cats and say, "Hey, at least I'm not in the bar filled, chicken infested, gender-bended Key West. Maybe one day a hurricane will come and wipe away Big Pine. Then what? You'd actually miss your home and what you had when its gone.
Local soap opera. Between the lines of these pages, a story seems to be emerging. Let me see if I got this right. The house of music opened last year and told us their house band "Angus Bangus" would have a record deal within a year. sounds like they were also partners in owning the bar. Now postings seem to say that the drummer and guitar player quit. One night while I was there one of the other ones threw his instrument down and walked out after only a few songs. Recently one claims to be heading to Nashville, but turned around and now he's putting together a band and will be on tour in 3-4 months and sounds like he is going to play in Iraq (yeah, Iraq) and then go national (o.k.). What happened to the big plans for Big Pine? Don't you own part of the bar? What's Angus Bangus do now? Did they know Molly Hatchets singer died last year? Stay tuned to "As the Island Floats." To be continued...



Antiwar lefties
aren't the only ones criticizing Bush's Iraq policy these days. Republicans concerned about their own political future are more openly opposing the unpopular war.
Re: Sun Communications. Nice comment about yourself, Billie. 
To the Key West Dreamer:  What can we non-creative types do to help your cause?  I would love to participate in some way. 
Just for anyone's information Julio from the Looe Key Tiki is in Mt. Sinai hospital. He had open heart surgery on Tuesday for a hole in his heart that had to be repaired. I understand he is coming home on Sunday. I am sure he would be glad to hear from some of his friends.
I can't believe there isn't an uproar over Senator Turban Durbin's comments on this site.  That man compared our soldiers to soldiers in the past who obeyed commands to murder millions of innocent people.  Al Jazeera made Durbin's comments front page news immediately everywhere they could.  Whatever happened to punishment for sedition or treason (betrayal of one's nation, remember that law)?  We should put him and the Newsweek folks in Gitmo where they can share, with those sweet-little-ole American-hating Muslims, 3 squares (2 Islamic) every day, private 4 x 8 quarters (our soldiers get a 4 x 8 too but they have 6 in a room), call to prayer 5 times a day over the loudspeaker, an arrow pointing to Mecca, a Islamic cap and mat and extremely careful treatment of the Koran (a book, mind you, that teaches murdering non-Muslims).  My goodness, you WWII Vets probably abused Hitler's Mein Kampf
I just read that governor Jeb vetoed another one of Ken Sorenson's bills. That makes three so far this year. (the road rage bill,  smoking in Sloppy Joes and taking over the FKAA). No wonder the state keeps us in Critical Concern status. With our "bda(?)" and his three sidekick commissioners, who needs the Comedy Channel?
For the person saying radio and cell phones warn us about the traffic problems? Not one Fl. Keys radio station has a live DJ after 8pm. When the big propane was leaking in Marathon a couple of years ago I drove all the way down from Key Largo to the closed section of US1 without ever knowing I was running into a closed road! So, yes we do need these signs. I have a friend who also drives US1 daily who is working on a petition to support those signs.
Regarding the stagnant book publishing industry.  Wrong! I live to read, but if you live in the Keys and are not independently wealthy then there is not much time to read except spreadsheets at work.  I subscribe to the Miami Herald and most days never remove it from the protective wrapper.  If I did not spend 50 plus hours per week working and commuting I would read only.  If I have time to read when I get over 50 then it will have been worth the wait. My favorite read is this site and I never miss it.  I do manage to slip it in at work.  It's the little things that make life bearable.
I sent my letter to the Gov. concerning the Dynamic Message Boards.  We'll see what happens.
We already advertise on this site so please, don't rip me for that. The Beatles Tribute band No Matter What will be appearing at The House of Music Saturday June 25th, 7:30pm.
Rain coats, I guess we need to give the police some rain coats, so they can ticket those who run in the rain without their headlights on; or maybe the patrol cars shouldn't be allowed cell phones that distract officers from seeing all the autos in the rain. Not seen because they didn't turn on the lights. I have noticed a few concerned people flashing their lights to get the others turned on with their lights. Heavy rain and low visibilities causes many accidents.
Dynamic Signs are a blight on the Scenic Highway. Complain now, not when they're installed and you've finally realized how they've changed the view.
Re: Key Deer Bar will never, ever be fine dining. Lighten up. Go suck your Chablis elsewhere.  Capt. Dan's has great food and the bar has personality. Something sorely lacking at so many other places where they try too hard or not hard enough. Rob's place has a hospital waiting room decor and at other places, it's just overkill with the knick-knacks on the walls & Xmas lights. Guaranteed this is the same chowder head that made this comment last week: "Where in the hell is Pig-Nig Island? And who in their right mind would hang out there anyway? I would rather spend my time reading the New York Times and drinking a nice latte in the company of intelligent people, not NASCAR Bozos." Go home, elitist swine! The real intelligent people are the ones who know to keep far from you.

I am Kudo, Emperor of the southern kingdom of the Sea Monkeys. Picnic Island belongs to my kingdom. We are planning to rise up and bite anyone found to be defecating or urinating on our underwater kingdom. Sea Monkeys unite! We will use our shrinkage power to cause permanent shrinkage to all who defy us. Resistance is Futile.
Does someone think that 2-4-20 pizza could hang a few more signs up at their shop?  Do all the signs change the fact that your pizza is still "fast-food" quality?
Re: Caffeine Carl. Yeah, but speed is illegal. Now what about his playing.
The couch and rug on Picnic island looks like Sanford and Son live there. If Jackasses keep dumping trash on our islands we will loose our freedom to hang out there. We should all get together and clean the mess up. We also should offer a reward to find the jackasses that put it there and all take turns beating the crap out of them.
Write on your computer how many square feet there are in the sky. If you tried your computer would freeze up because there would be to many commas and way to many zeros for any calculator or computer to handle. Now subtract from that number how many square feet one of those dynamic signs take up. What's there answer?
The Supremes ruled that they can take your home for private development. It no longer has to benefit the community.






Caffeine Carl
is okay, but you need to get out more and hear all of the local musicians...there are better.
Re: Paradise Mobil. Cliff Fischer was the bobcat operator and he is always willing to help anyone who needs it, anytime or anyplace.  He has a good heart.  As for everyone else there, they are good people too.  If they can't help, they find someone who can.
Here comes Wal-Mart. Justices Back Seizing Homes for Economic Development The Supreme Court on Thursday ruled that local governments may seize people's homes and businesses -- even against their will -- for private economic development.  The 5-4 ruling represented a defeat for some Connecticut residents whose homes are slated for destruction to make room for an office complex. They argued that cities have no right to take their land except for projects with a clear public use, such as roads or schools, or to revitalize blighted areas. As a result, cities now have wide power to bulldoze residences for projects such as shopping malls and hotel complexes in order to generate tax revenue.
Cops are paid to serve and protect us citizens and do a fare job all in all, except when it comes to ticketing people driving during a rainstorm without headlights on. ( I'm thinking the cops are afraid they will melt if they get wet.) So you will never see anyone pulled over. Although, the way some people drive it probably wouldn't be safe for them to pull anyone over during rain anyway. But, it is the law! So please put your headlights on in the rain for my safety and yours.
Sand, Schmand.   I guess you believe what you read in the tabloid press because the only "facts" they have on MJ is what his stellar employees sell, or what the tabloids make up.  I agree he is an odd duck, but you sitting in your living room on Big Pine Key don't know the facts about Michael Jackson
Save PBS.  Call your Senators today and tell them to fund PBS and its noncommercial programming. Note: Our government pays over $13,000,000 a year for TV Marti that no one in Cuba can see.
Pentagon is creating student database recruiting tool For military. The Defense Department began working yesterday with a private marketing firm to create a database of high school students ages 16 to 18 and all college students to help the military identify potential recruits in a time of dwindling enlistment in some branches.
I believe Thursday was June 23, not 22nd.
(Ed: Oops!)

Why are we who choose to sit outside at the Key Deer Bar & Grill constantly categorized as “losers, bums, low-lifes, etc."? I sit outside for one simple reason--so I can smoke (admittedly, not a good habit, but not a reason to personally denigrate me). I have a very good job in a highly technical field, I own my own home, and am generally very well thought of in the community. It never ceases to amaze me that these self-righteous name callers don’t have the sense to realize that if you don’t like a particular establishment, you don't have to go there. Grow up and get a life, or go back to New Jersey (just kidding Jersey-ites).  

Fridays with Mitch:

I want to be a race car passenger... just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Boy, you really like Tide."

I haven't slept for ten days ...because that would be too long.

Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.

My lucky number is four billion. That doesn't come in real handy when you're gambling. "Come on, four billion! F**k. Seven. I need more dice." 4 billion divided by 6, at least.

A minibar is a machine that makes everything expensive. When I take something out of the minibar, I always fathom that I'll go and replace it before they check it off, but they make that stuff impossible to replace. I go to the store and ask, "Do you have coke in a glass harmonica? ...Do you have individually wrapped cashews?"

 Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." EVERY picture of you is when you were younger. "...Here's a picture of me when I'm older." Where'd you get that camera man?

I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, and now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. So which one's the REAL hero?

I’m the person who wrote the rave review on Aroma’s Deli.  (The editor added the “
Blatent commercialization:” preface.   I may have over done the gushing Kudos but I just wanted to say something complimentary about a place I like.  Sorry if I over did it and made it sound like a paid advertisement. 
To Liberals Suck guy. You probably never worked an honest day in your life, and you are most likely a white, tax cheating, bible beater who never served in the military during combat. Quit drinking that boy George Kool-Aid and show me the weapons of mass destruction that have cost over 1727 American military lives and I'll register Republican.
Are we supposed to tip the UPS guy over the Holidays? I think this year I will tip him instead of the mail lady. My dog tried to jump him yesterday and he had to do a little dance. I'm also going to tip the lady pharmacist at CVS as she has been very helpful and kind.
Kudos to these people who are Kind To Animals: Deb at Pampered Paws for being the best dog sitter in the world. Inside my wallet and car is your name and number if there's an emergency and my pets will be attended to. JC is a nice boy for watching other peoples doggies and I hope they give you presents. Jannie Hohmann the Realtor who had the greatest yellow ad in the Hurricane Information Guide about taking your pets with you and NOT leaving them while you evacuate. How in the world can people leave their animals behind? ( www.petfriendly.com for pet friendly hotels.)
Looks like the Key Deer Bar, Grill and Halfway House are once again taking a well deserved beating. They recently lost two long time employees as a result of the owners verbal abuse and the remaining staff isn't anything to brag about. And, about the only thing the kitchen can't screw up are the potato chips. I use to enjoy an afternoon there once in awhile but have taken my business elsewhere.



Hi Ed, You don't put pretty pictures next to my posts anymore.  Are you mad at me?

Friday June 24, 2005

 

Thursday June 23, 2005

Re: Dynamic Signs.  Folks please take a quick minute and email Jeb Bush that we do not want these huge signs blighting the beauty of our landscape in the FL Keys.  Email jeb.bush@myflorida.com   or fax 850-487-0801   or write him:  Governor Jeb Bush, PL 05 The Capitol, 400 S. Monroe Street, Tallahassee, FL 32399-0001.  It's now or never to stop them from installing the signs any further!  Hurry!
This Saturday at the Big Pine Moose Lodge, for Moose members and guests, there is a Splash Party to benefit local children groups. For $6.00 you get in, a plate of food, a water gun and the music of two local bands, The Slap Happy Pappy Band and Terry Cassidy. There will be a Horse Shoe Tournament ($5.00 entry fee) 1st and 2nd place teams pay. Also for $1.00 you get 3 balls to dunk local celebrities. The Tiki Bar will be open on a cash bar basis. Party starts at 1:00 until 5:00.  Dress to get Wet.

Food for thought
. The technology that exist today in the cctv industry is such That If DOT just wanted cameras Then They would put them up and you would never even be aware. Just think, your cable TV or Satellite receiver may have a tiny little microphone and camera In it staring back at you and you would not know it.  I bet those guys at homeland security are really laughing when they read the emails to The Citizens Voice and Kudos and Whiners. So remember, Big Brother may already be watching.

I’d like to extend a big kudos to Mobil Paradise Petroleum and the bob cat operator for their help last Saturday. Without their coordinated efforts, we would have been in quite a jam. It always amazes me how Big Pine locals never fail to rise to the occasion of helping their neighbors. You guys rock!

Re: Ace Hdwe (I think). Jeff quit working there because of conflict with other employee. Yes everyone misses his smile.
Here's what I wrote to Jeb Bush:
Dear Governor Bush,
Please help us stop the DOT from installing the HUGE, obnoxious Dynamic signs in our beautiful Florida Keys.  The Keys represents one of the most scenic drives in the USA and it is criminal to blight this historical landscape with these signs.  It's a two lane road.  If traffic stops, we deal with it by turning around or getting off the road awhile.  The radio and cell phones provide us with all the information we need.  The signs are an unnecessary expense and our local politicians don't want them there either.  Please listen to the locals sir!  This will take away from the uniqueness of the Fl. Keys.  We don't want to be high tech!  LOW KEY IS OUR MOTTO.  Thank you!
I agree, I liked it better here 35 years ago too, and instead of stopping development alone, we should start undeveloping as well. Let's start with your house. Then convert "Watson Field" the tennis courts, the "Teen Center" the Blue Hair Building behind the fire station, the "Vineyard", Winn Dixie Plaza and all the so called "low income" housing back to mangroves, pick up where the Vista Linda left off, and lastly completely reforest Wilder Road. Taxes would get rolled back, and this sewer scam that we're getting shoved down our throats would die off.
Winn-Dixie strikes. Don't you love spending $150 at the store to have the privilege of bagging your own groceries and listening to the checkers speak a foreign language? After a meaningless store reorganization many desirable items have been discontinued. Among them was my favorite hot sauce and dry soup mix, various other dry goods, customer service and English. The only reason they survive here is that they have no competition.
What happened to Billie from Sun Communications? We sure do miss her help and charming personality. She was one of the nicest and most helpful in Big Pine.
Did you see the sign at Rob's?  "Closed for vacation till jan 29th" Isn't that the date for the super bowl? I guess it is hard for a local sign maker to distinguish between a u and an a. You think?






Re: Statue in the park. I don't know how universal or all-encompassing that rule is... but the Andrew Jackson statue in New Orleans' Jackson Square has both front legs in the air, and Jackson died in his home. Interesting fact: Jackson's is the first equestrian statue to have more than one foot off the base.
Update: The Jersey woman was spotted early Tuesday in Key Largo and moving northward at an annoyingly slow pace.  An emergency action plan was activated and local residents immediately retreated to their homes; and businesses were closed until the danger passed. Unfortunately having no one else to annoy or insult, one slow moving Basset Hound was accosted and verbally abused by the woman and is now being treated for hearing loss and a mange-like rash.  Motorists on the 18 Mile Stretch and Card Sound Road have been warned not to talk to strangers or pick up hitch-hikers. 

So Key Deer Bar is getting a “new, real” cook in the near future.  Well, they’ve had “real” cooks before and in fact have a professionally trained chef now.  The fact is that the place is hit and miss, mostly miss, and is not well managed.  Catering to the outside low-life bunch and the poor quality and service isn’t going to turn the place around, cook or no cook.  It’s just a dumpy bar that serves dumpy bar food.  It will never, ever be fine dining.    




A friend’s wife just announced that she was leaving after 6 years to “find herself”.  Bull!  It occurred to me that a marriage license should be like a fishing license.  It expires every year.  If you go out of state you can get a three day license.  Actually, girls and fish have a lot in common.  They’re fun to catch and if you clean and prep them just right they’re good to, you know.  However, mounting one will cost you plenty.  If you bring them home, no matter how well you treat them they go bad.  Fresh ones are better.  Practice catch and release!

If FDOT wants those huge obnoxious signs in the Keys you can bet we’re going to see them.  First they spend many, many millions of dollars raising the highway and building deer tunnels for a couple of vermin ridden deer a year. Then they do the road improvement project and erect those hideous flashing lights and bright orange deer signs.  If that wasn’t enough they paint deXer all over the road (By the time some tourist from Hackensack figures out it means deer crossing they’re in Key West anyway)  Then they widen the road and include a partial left turn lane but stop it just short of the post office and business area.  Probably one of the busiest left turn areas on the island.  Notice that they didn’t bother to include a crosswalk at the traffic light so you might be able to cross Key Deer/Wilder or U.S. 1 more safely (the bike path isn’t a crosswalk). Save the deer but to hell with any pedestrians.  They objected to a traffic signal at the Sugarloaf School intersection for years and years.  To hell with the safety of the kids, save the deer.  Yep, the signs are on the way.  And, they will have absolutely no effect on the flow
This is to all the scumbags out there that litter. The next time you're driving down Key Deer Blvd. and you throw your filthy trash out the window because your too blind and stupid to see where you live, attach a $5.00 bill to it so it will go to the wonderful lady that has been picking up your trash for years. Shame on you all.
I noticed that someone said that Capt. Dan was a great person. Why don't you ask the revolving door of employees that come through that place. You might get a different answer from them. I used to go there a lot, but got sick of the screaming tirades that Dan would go through with his workers. Don't tell me that the workers that he has had aren't the best of workers either. He had at least 3 of the best bar workers working for him at one time. Remember, you reap what you sow, and boy you are going through it now. You are getting what you deserve. So either change your ways, or eventually lose it all.

I think it is human nature that almost any baby will take an extended finger and smile.  Just don’t let the baby pull on the finger lest ye shall have a moment of flatulence.

BigPineKeys disappearance Tuesday. Oh Happy Day! I was scared you were gone for good and was worried about how I would survive without my daily dose of gossip. Thank you for still being here.
Liberals suck. Keep reading the left wing crap. I'm sure that they will keep you pissed off at the current administration. If you don't think that American soil is safer than 9/11, your head is definitely stuck way up some orifice.
This is the site where you can locate store closing info.    http://www.winn-dixie.com/locations/list.asp   Looks like the Dicme stores in the Keys are to remain open.

BigPineKeys dissapearance.
Having you down (computer switcheroo) showed us all how much we missed you!
Big Piners love bunnies! Please pass this link around. www.WetSealSucks.com

CVS Pharmacy had a security breach that allowed internet access to customer purchase information.  Customers using their CVS ‘reward card’ had their personal purchase information available on the internet.  A company spokesperson admitted that potential embarrassing information such as the purchase of home pregnancy tests, condoms etc. was unsecured. They are working to plug the leak.  Another CVS customer service!




Nevada
is something like 87% government owned
The DOT Dynamic signs are useless for anyone on US 1. Useless, I tell you! About as useless as...
...a pogo stick in the desert
...an ashtray on a Harley
...a restroom attendant in an outhouse
...a screen door on a submarine
...flippers on a pig
...acting lessons from Jennifer Lopez
...a vegan at a barbecue
...a supermodel with a goiter
...a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest
...a boy band without a designated 'bad boy'
...a jazz band without horns
...Law & Order without Jerry Orbach
...sporting events without beer
...non-alcoholic beer
...decaf coffee
...a Game Boy to Stevie Wonder
...BigPineKey.com without 'Kudos & Whiners'... We were scared for a while yesterday! Glad you're back!
Re: Michael Jackson's sexuality. You must have had your head in the sand for the last ten years if you don't know anything about it. The jury only saw the evidence that the judge allowed them to see and didn't see what the defense fought to keep out. If you ever watched Court TV you've seen lots of evidence that was not allowed in court but still exists; many witnesses to illegal activities, a detailed description of his discolored penis. How would anyone know that? I'm not sure that nearly enough has been said.
Re: Moondogs. If you cats can't even figure out how to plug in your amps, how did you ever figure out how to play an instrument? There must be 10 ongoing inquiry's on how to plug in an amp. Come on guy's. It is as simple as starting the generator and plugging in. If you're afraid then take a cheap fan or something else electrical and plug it in. Chance are it will be just fine. I don't know of any company that puts out 138 volt generators, so you probably just got an inaccurate reading. Generator voltage varies slightly. Also, don't listen to the person about code enforcement, because all it takes is 1 sheriff or FWC to shut you down if even 1 person complains. (let's hope not) and if the state owns the island, they would be liable for any accidents or injuries. And one more thing is the more you keep self-advertising it on this site, the more likely you will get shut down. Take a lesson from the Beatles or U 2 ( I hate that band, sorry) and just show up and do it. By the time they figure out what to do with you, your show will be over.  Now they have 2 weeks to figure out how to silence you. Guy's this isn't rocket science it is Rock and Roll.
Re: trash on Picnic Island. I think that is the V.I.P. section for the Moondogs concert.
In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans. You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard... but no ark. "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go! When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and that it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience. To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark." Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy the world?" "No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

Don't Miss the Full Strawberry Moon June 22
http://rl.channel.aol.com/space/fullmoonJune's full moon gets its name from the strawberry harvest that happens every year at this time.
Weekend Summary: Once again to the Grinch with the Moondogs vendetta, Go away.  About Winn Dixie, I completely agree, except I left some of my merchandise in the lower shelf of my cart late at night last week and recovered it the next day.  The dynamic message boards are not for us, the mosquitos suck, the water is again acceptable, the Key Deer still get in my garbage every chance they get, Bpk.com is still with us, and the world tour, (DoD) , then national tour, sounds a little backwards to me but... good luck and keep us who care informed. Send CD' s. P.S.  Damn -you smelled good! 


Burning the flag
should not be illegal.  However, it should also be a tiny, tiny misdemeanor to beat the crap out of someone who does.
Yard Sale: Saturday, June 25, 2005
Address: 482 Brown Drive, Ramrod Key
Directions: MM 27 turn north at 5 Brothers Two, right at dead end sign, left on Brown Drive--we're the last house!
Re: WD discontinuing frozen pizza dough, try Pizzaworks they make wonderful pizza, and sell their dough balls for a reasonable price, and they are freezable.
I found a 10 speed bicycle in the end of a canal in Eden Pines. I flagged an officer down and he said they would pick it up and hold it for 30 days. I thought I would try this first. If anyone has had one stolen please describe it and how to get in touch
I've been told that the Spottswoods, big money from Key West, own Picnic Island and they don't mind locals going there as long as they keep it clean and don't hurt the few trees and mangroves. Old rugs and furniture ain't keeping it clean. I wouldn't blame them if they ran the whole bunch off after leaving that mess. Then we all would be hurt because of a few a__holes. Let's all pitch in clean the place up.
Following up on the people who were talking about a substitute modular home to a Wausau home I saw a good example in my neighborhood the other day. If you go to the corner of West Indies and St. Croix in Ramrod there is a brand new Nationwide Home being built on the corner and directly next to it is a Wassau home that is also brand new. The Nationwide Home is Beautiful and looks like a custom built house. The Wassau is the "Trailer Looking" type that everyone was talking about. I have heard good things about both brands, but go by and take a look at the obvious difference. A picture is worth a thousand words.
One of the only guitar players that I have heard in the Keys that can combine speed with feeling is Caffeine Carl. Nobody else comes close, but there are many who think they do. Just ask them.
I was shocked to hear that a good cook/chef would ever go to work at Key Deer.  Why would anyone with a good reputation in the food industry put their name on a like that?  Unless the special of the day is a beer in a paper bag with a side of narcotics none of the regulars at Key Deer would eat there anyway.  This chef should take his talent somewhere that he will be appreciated.  We have many nice restaurants in The Lower Keys to choose from.
I am King Kronos ruler of the Sea Monkey Kingdom! We have had enough of you humans drinking beer and peeing all over our kingdom! The other day near Marvin Key a giant poo, let loose by one of you humans rolled along the bottom destroying our towns and villages, many Sea Monkeys died trying to stop the giant poo! We are declaring war on all humans. We will bite any human we find in our waters on any part of the body we choose until the dropping of giant turds and peeing on our kingdom ceases!

Thursday June 22, 2005

 

Wednesday June 22, 2005

(Ed: We're b-a-a-a-c-k! We changed Hosting Services and lost a Tuesday. Today, we were able to recover Tuesday's Kudos, but we still can't find our emails for today. One of the reasons for the change is because the new hosting service has phone support which we badly need. The problem is that the phone support doesn't start until 10am.[Catch-22. We didn't check on that important detail.] By this evening we will be back in full. We are really sorry for this mess up. Please be patient.)

Las Vegas building boom: 200 people a day move there creating the biggest building boom ever. Their overworked Building Dept. gets about 3,000 requests for inspections a day! That's about 137 inspections per inspector a day. They have a backlog that is unmanageable. I'll never complain about our Bldg. Dept. again.

I've been collecting a list of how people try to be like a local. Do you have any additions to the list?
Local wanna-bees check list:
1. Call someone “Bubba”
2. Tell people how long you've lived here in every sentence.
3. Tell everyone you meet how it used to be.
4. Buy a parrot and wear it on your shitty shoulder.
5. Wear a brand new bandana that's too small for your head.
6. Pierce your ear and wear an earring that's entirely too big.
7. Realize that those things in your cereal are termites and not raisins.

Guitar wars revisited. I was looking through the archives and saw where some unknown pretender to the crown of super guitar player claimed that he was better than Santana. This unknown player might be better technically, but no one can hold a note like Santana. Very few musicians can do that. He uses the space between the notes like no one else can; and that is where his greatness lies. Just about any guitar player can play wall to wall notes, but only a few can sustain a note like the great Santana. Now, if he'd only stop talking during his shows he'd be perfect.

It must be human nature that when you extend a finger to a baby it will always grab your finger and smile. I wonder why that is. It sure is cute.

Discontinued frozen dough at Winn-Dickme:  Try Boboli pizza bread.  It won’t be quite the same but it’s pretty good.


Winn Dixie
is closing a lot of stores and firing 22,000 people. I hope this crummy store stays opened so I don't have to shop at Dion's again.
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

I use the sugar substitute Splenda, but I left it on the shelf too long and with all this humidity it hardened and shrunk to form a white block of something. I wonder if I could sell it on the Avenues as a crack substitute!

Spotted at Key West were O.J. Simpson and Robert Blake apparently car-pooling from golf course to golf course in search of the real killers.  Speaking of killers, what’s up with Darren Bell?  No arrest yet? 

Wednesday June 22, 2005

 

Tuesday June 21, 2005

2:41am Tuesday morning is the Summer Solstice. The first day of summer is here. Everyone take off today and go to the beach.

It would be nice if someone made bread in a can that I can use for "emergency" situations when I'm too lazy to go to the store. It would be so handy for me. They used to make brown bread in a can (they still might make it), but that was too sweet for a sandwich or toast.

Re: DOT. They have to put those horrible and invasive signs up or lose their jobs. There is no amount of arguing that will change their minds because their jobs are at stake. We're talking millions of dollars and a bunch of jobs. That is the only reason DOT is pushing this so hard. Job security and the desire to spy on everyone.

I see very few small victories in Iraq such as schools opening or electric or water being restored. That's because there are so few positive things being accomplished. We're fighting a defensive war. After all this time the road to the airport is still unsafe. There is no more security now than there was when we first invaded.


Re: living here with all her cats for 25 years. No wonder she never saw a marsh rabbit. The cats killed them all.

Re: Dynamic message signs. If our elected officials don't stop the FDOT from putting up those unsightly signs the uniqueness of US1 through the Keys will be lost forever. Some of you who don't drive the hwy everyday won't mind it too much, but I enjoy my ride to KW daily because it is such a beautiful ride.


To all the Key Deer Bar and Grill bashers: Just hang in there for a couple of weeks. Rumor has it that a new, real cook is coming in and things will improve. Let's try to continue to support Captain Dan and Ester, who are great people, during this rough period. They treat us like family and we always manage to have fun there. It will turn around soon.
Re: the person who asked how to cook pork chops so they aren't tough. You asked for no recipes and yet you got nothing but! Here is your answer from someone who was in the restaurant biz for over 20 years. It is really quite simple. As a matter of fact, it will work for pork, beef, fish, and any number of other entree's: Don't overcook it. When it is first "not pink", serve it. It doesn't matter how you cook it. It will work and be tender. You can take a pork chop and pan fry it with no sauce, no oil, no nothing and if you have a good cut of meat and don't cook it like you are making charcoal briquettes, you can cut it with a fork. Pretty simple, huh?
Can anyone tell me what the IQ level of Rory Santana with the DOT is? Get his ass down here and let's hear him tell us face to face that the large scale sign is necessary. Hello! It's mostly 45 MPH or 55 at max. Consider the Keys an historical preservation area . I have seen the Keys evolve for over 30 years and this truly breaks my heart that there isn't an uproar over this. Whatever happened to common sense. Uh, oh, traffic stopped. Do I continue South, head North, listen to the radio, stop for lunch, go shopping, fish or look up at some big obnoxious sign to tell me what the locals could have seen anyway. Aaaahhhhhh! Sonny McCoy, make this your final gift to the Keys please.

Re: frozen dough. Could there be anything on earth easier to make than dough? Four, water, yeast and mix. Face it without W.D. you'd be lost.
I've heard through a credible source that the Key Deer Bar is getting a very good cook in the near future. The man has owned a couple of eateries in the past and his culinary skills are unsurpassed. I know. I've eaten his cooking before. For those of you that have had bad experiences there recently, give it a couple of weeks  and dine there again. You will be impressed.

I wonder what would be left on the shelves if you emptied a Circle K of all the products that contained sugar or saturated fat? Probably just the KW Citizen.

Re: free box at health food store. Why didn't you call the police? If I gave something to that store that was meant to be given to someone in need and some idiot took it and put it up for sale that sounds like stealing to me. there is nothing lower than a thief. At least publish their address and name on this site so the whole community will know who these scumbags are.
Re: Signs: If I'm stopped in traffic on our only road what good will an electronic sign do me? I think it's really the spy cameras that they want and the signs are just an excuse.
Does anyone have any idea who the idiots are that dumped a sofa, chair and carpet on Picnic Island?  They also need to learn that aluminum cans tossed in a fire do not burn. 
Key West Dreaming. God works in mysterious ways. After getting on the road for Nashville, it soon became apparent God had other ideas for me. So, it looks like I will be pursuing my (initial) musical asperations here. I'm staying in Key West and will be buying a new PA rig for a band I'm starting. I expect to be up and running within the next 3 months. My goal is to be on tour within the next 6-10 months. I will be signing up for a DOD world tour (department of defense) to get the band used to touring then will continue nationally. I will be looking for musicians who are hungry, talented, and not tied down. I'll take care of the equipment and management. They'll just have to bring their personal equipment, talent, and creativity as our long term goal is to perform only original material. Serious musicians wanted. I will let everyone know my progress. Thanks again for all your prayers and support.
Re: BigPineKey.com review. I find it interesting that in your effort to come to the defense of New Jerseyites and New Yorkers, you found it necessary to slap Midwesterners. I was right there with you until that comment, and then you lost me. Maybe it's because I also lived in Fort Myers for years and happen to be one of those Midwest transplants you found so...boring, was that what you were implying? What was the point of your post, exactly? At first, I thought it was that we shouldn't generalize based on the region from which someone hails, but that obviously wasn't it. Listen, there are jerks in every state in the union, and plenty of them have brought "we did it better up north" attitudes with them when they moved to Florida; no state has a corner on that market.




Re: Saturday's enema. That was the CD cover art for Blink 182's "Enema of the State" and the enema nurse is porn star 'Janine'. Not that I like porn, mind you. I just collect hundreds of tapes & DVDs for close examination so I can send angry letters to the producers and tell them how very, very wrong it is. Bad porn producers! You've been naughty! So naughty...
Re: Big signs and cameras. Most people don't object to the cameras because they figure that they're not going to do anything wrong anyway.
People never cease to amaze me. They move here to Big Pine from a dirty noisy congested city, and they want to recreate what they moved from. There should be no more new buildings permitted on Pig Pine and No Name Key. Enjoy what we have here or move to Marathon or Key Weird. Plus there're plenty of other Key's that you can move to and create what you moved from.


The book publishing industry is either stagnant or in decline. The main reason is that people over 50 are the only ones reading anymore.

Tuesday June 21, 2005

 

Monday June 20, 2005

True Value is possibly leaving. The sale is not final and it could still fall through.  Home Depot did not win, they have nothing to do with it. As a matter of fact, I see the Home Depot truck filling up with diesel there about 2-3 times a week. 

True Value is leaving because they can't fix up their place without getting building permits.  It took them 7 years to get the permit to put up that steel building!  The Building Dept. Nazi's are the ones to blame for them leaving (We're not talking about you Harry and Mary. You all are the only good ones there.).  They sat there and saw the writing on the wall for Scotty's and when they went to get a permit to add on to the store, they were told they would have to go through the same process they went through to get the steel building.  Unless you've got big money, expensive lawyers or your last name is Singh, you can't get anything done here, building-wise,  without a major hassle.  Anyone who's lived here long enough knows.  The whole Bldg. Dept. should be thrown out, except for the above mentioned, and start over fresh with people who aren't biased against others.

Why is it that whenever I put things in the free bin at the health food store I wind up seeing them at yard sales?
Yesterday was Father's Day, a holiday in this country that goes back to a Sunday morning in May of 1909, when a woman named Sonora Smart Dodd was sitting in church in Spokane, Washington, listening to a Mother's Day sermon. She thought of her father who had raised her and her siblings after her mother died in childbirth, and she thought that fathers should get recognition too.

So she asked the minister of the church if he would deliver a sermon honoring fathers on her father's birthday, which was coming up in June, and the minister did. And the tradition of Father's Day caught on, though rather slowly. Mother's Day became an official holiday in 1914; Father's Day, not until 1972.

Winn Dixie has really gone and done it this time. They discontinued Bradford frozen dough. This is the last straw of my favorite items that they've been discontinuing. What will I use to make my Saturday pizzas now?

Obese kids. Kids drink an average of two cans of soda a day totaling an extra 20 teaspoons of sugar a day. Then they sit in front of the computer and then the TV. No wonder they're fat.




I agree. I've never thought of Tom Cruise as "hot". Nichole can do a lot better in both the looks and the weird religion department.
We are new to the area and have been looking for a place to eat and have a few drinks with my family. We have 4 children, so we try and eliminate the bar type atmosphere because of the kids. The last few weeks we've been enjoying dinning at the restaurant of the Key Deer Bar and Grill. The restaurant part is separate from the bar. The weekend entertainment is great for the kids and I get to dance with my wife. Great family place, plus my wife and I can enjoy their prime rib while the kids go for their pizza. And the price's are something the average person can afford.
Re: bands that have used generators on parade floats. Ask Angus at the House of Music. He played last year's Fantasy Fest on a float with a generator.

Incredibly, some misinformed individual wrote that feral cats are to be removed so that developers can build more!  It's people like that, that make you Piners look like a bunch of yahoos.
BigPineKey.com review: This was my first time on this web site as I had heard it was full of ridiculous comments and slander sent in with nor signatures. My personal evaluation is that there are quite a few good points being brought to the public attention, however they are buried under tons of useless messages. The only issue I would like to address is the stoning of people from New Jersey and New York. Can anyone with one iota of intellect state that all 30 some odd million of them are the same? Sounds like Adolph's argument. I lived in Fort Myers for years which is inundated with folks from the mid-west. Several had less manners than the average New York teenager. Notice I said several. There were a lot more of them who I fail to recall because they gave me no reason to.
I am writing in response to the person who wrote a derogatory statement about police officers allowed to drink and drive. Apparently this individual has an axe to grind due to a bad contact with the police such as being arrested for molesting children or such low life offenses. This individual would be the type who saw a woman being beat up and walk by so as not to get involved. Yet this person would knock police officers who stick their neck out everyday to protect the public. A police officer has a lot more to lose if caught drinking and driving than the average citizen. He or she could lose their job over it. As in all walks of life there are Officers who probably drink and drive. I am sure they are in the small minority such as I am sure the moron who wrote the derogatory statement about the police is in the minority; it is usually those who have an axe to grind with the police.
Re: Cruise basher. I guess you believe size does matter!
To the religion basher who wrote in yesterday: Your Newtonian syllogistic metaphor about the universe depicts the limits of your imagination. Read some articles on quantum mechanics. That may open that mind up a little to other possibilities. To paraphrase a fellow much smarter than me, "There is a lot more shit out there than you can dream of in your philosophies, Horatio."
Remote power quandary. We have had some one suggest inverters for the power source for the Picnic Island gig. Will the batteries carry the load? I believe one circuit would be enough, two at the very most. Also we will only be doing about 3 or 4- 40 minute sets. There is two weeks from today (Sunday) to solve the problem. Thanks for the support!
Re: Saturday's enema. Who is the hottie with the rubber glove? I am in love.




Any questions?
Some intelligence-challenged person wrote that they were removing the feral cats so that developers can build more. I'm stoned and even I can't figure out what the heck he means by that.

Remote power for July 3. I have an inverter and two batteries on my boat. I suggest we raft together and place the musicians on each boat or two or so. I would then be able to run my motor to keep them charged. My motor is a big 4-stroke that you can't hear. It would be quieter than a generator.

Another comment about the poor (or totally lacking) quality at Key Deer Bar.  No Kidding!  Very recently I went there on a Friday afternoon.  There was no one in the place except for the bartender standing by the back door smoking and a waitress with her head on the bar.  Not a single customer on a Friday nearing Happy Hour.  That tells you something. I didn’t stay but instead went to another BPK spot that was nearly crowded with customers. In fairness, you can get a decent meal at Key Deer if you catch them on the right day, but it seems it’s a roll of the dice.  I also heard that yet another Key Deer bartender and cook walked out. Obviously something is seriously wrong.

Who owns Picnic Island? Has the owner been contacted about a band playing there? Does he have liability insurance?
Re: Need a Big Pine Inn. I agree. It would also be nifty if they could use the same blueprints from the original. But, as far as kids and the bars are concerned, there are quite a few fine local eateries where you and your brood can be seated apart from the bar area. I think the bar patrons would prefer that too. Most popular franchised restaurants have bars as well, (Chili's, Applebee's, T.G.I. Friday's, etc.). Aside from fast food joints and diners, I don't know many places that don't have a bar within. P.S. What makes you think Big Pine Inn didn't have a bar? They sold liquor & package goods. Just check out the 'Island History' page.
You know, I picked up the Barometer and looked at the headlines about the feral cats destroying a "protected rat" and a "rabbit," and it made me sick. Remember when the deer were "endangered," look what they did to them. Take the money and run. That's all. I have lived here 25 years and the only rabbit I have seen running around was a black and white one that was someone's pet that got loose. I have taken in cats for 15 years now, they live outside and in the woods, they have been neutered thanks to the help of Friends of Animals and had shots, I pity the creep that tries to get my pets over some "endangered" bullshit. Live and let live, don't you see the big picture?

Re: 138 volt generator.  You’re correct,138 volts could certainly fry some equipment.  One solution is to run the generator output power through an AC voltage regulator.  Check on-line or call an electrical supply company for a compatible unit.  Key West Electric or Kennedy Electric would be a start.

Moondogs are playing at Picnic Island on July 3, a Sunday, and Monday July 4 is a holiday. All Monroe County government offices are closed until Tuesday July 5. So code enforcement couldn't get there until they go back to work on July 5. If you go to any island just leave your foot prints (duh, that means pick up the trash, even it's not yours). You guys are wearing out this subject. I think you write all that crap because you don't have a life.
A little something about downstairs enclosures and the Giffords. (excerpt from Key West Citizen, June 19th.)...the commission in February redefined the criteria for determining whether prosecution of alleged illegal construction below the base flood elevation could take place. The change revolved around the definition of "concealment." Under the new rule, for illegal construction to be concealed, it must only be visible by entry through the home.

The February action came a day after the board's annual dinner at the private Ocean Reef Club. It effectively halted code enforcement proceedings against Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford, who during a federally-mandated flood insurance inspection were found to have a fully furnished, 12-room downstairs enclosure behind the garage doors of their home.

While the Giffords were not mentioned by name, references were made at the meeting to an Upper Keys property that was the subject of Code Enforcement Action. The Gifford property was the only one in the Upper Keys facing prosecution for a floodplain violation. Commissioner Murray Nelson said the home in question had "many, many windows in it. They're available or visible from the street."

Twelve rooms?! Man... you could almost fit a workshop full of kids in there! And it's hot now, too. Makes ya sweaty. You could say that it would be real sweaty in that shop.


I picked this nice lady up the other night. Asked her how she liked it and she said "With lots of gravy."
Another thing concerning religion: Consider the egotistical nature of the Creator, where one is required to constantly praise Him - "Praise God", Praise be to God", "I bless those who bless Him", "You're good, You're great" and so on. Not to mention the battle of egos between Him and the Devil where a sort of wager was made to test the faith of Job for instance, and destroy him and his family, or commanding Abraham to sacrifice his son to prove his faith. Nothing more than a trivial game played with helpless victims by the all knowing, omnipotent Being. Not unlike relieving boredom by pulling the wings off flies. Should the Almighty Deity with His divine knowledge have need to dither about testing anything? Religion has within its structure a fail-safe mechanism, manifesting itself when the afflicted are asked to look upon with reason and question their belief system, their minds shut down, and with clenched eyes, teeth, and covered ears only more tenaciously proclaim their faith.

I remember when certain faithful were quietly rubbing their hands together in gleeful anticipation of y2k, the generally accepted time of "The End". Some may even now be holding their breath. Nothing could make them happier, I'm sure. Also, the scriptures are commonly accredited with first inventing the Golden Rule when in fact we find it in ancient Chinese history hundreds of years before Christianity. The great Carlin observes the only good thing to come out of religion is the inspiration for some art and music. Religion: An intellectually incestuous, mind crippling, complicated, obsessive waste of time.




You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

I thought Tom Cruise was ok as an actor and seemed like a decent sort personally, until he dumped Nicole. Can't dig up much respect for him after that.  Now he's just another Hollywood type committing serial matrimony.  Shall we start the betting pool on his current attention span?

Monday June 20, 2005

 

Sunday June 19, 2005

Some homosexuals are pedophiles as are some heterosexuals. You shouldn't generalize about any group.

Re: War on drugs. I surrender!

Picnic island band:  It doesn’t surprise me that some a**hole wondered about a permit.  You know, if Bill Gates came to Big Pine and stood at the traffic light and was handing out hundred dollar bills some people would raise hell.  FDOT would demand he cease until a traffic impact study was done, the Key Deer huggers would file an injunction because he was impeding the natural movement of the herd, the Civic Association would start a petition to cease and desist because his generosity may, in some small way cause progress, the environmental freaks would be aghast that he increased the islands population by one thereby leaving less air for them, and the County would, no doubt, want to inspect and then demand he remove the downstairs enclosure from his motor home.  By the way, picnic island is private property and if the property owner doesn’t object I don’t think a permit is needed for any legal activity.  Maybe Mr. “did they get a permit” just needs a good enema to kill the bug he has up his ass!

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

Years ago, in Key West, I bought a Rambler sedan from a Canadian lady clown (another story). It was such a stupid car that I cut a large rectangle hole in the top to make a sun roof. Then I built up the sides to keep out the water and then made a hatch cover just like on a boat to go over the whole affair. To fasten the hatch cover to the built up sides I used a couple of hook and eye fasteners like they use on screen doors. It looked pretty good so I picked up Mad Jack and we headed up the Keys for a trial run. On the old seven mile bridge, doing about 60, the hook and eyes pulled out and the whole large hatch cover flew off. I'll always remember watching it in my rear view mirror as it flew like a kite, spun, flipped and then landed in the roadway. My heart was in my mouth worrying that it would hit someone. It didn't. As a matter of fact, we never even saw another vehicle on the old bridge during all the time it took to recover the cover. Try doing that stupid stunt today and I'd probably kill someone with all the traffic on the bridge.

I work hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
Re: WD employee speaks out. The editor chose to ad "(exaggerated)" to my sentence which should have read I've waited on line 45 mins. or longer. The editor, for some unknown reason, thought my 45 min. wait at the supermarket up north was an exaggeration ,well you know what happen to thought.
Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves were dead and in heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in hell. What I got in Sunday School was simply a firm conviction that the Christian faith was full of palpable absurdities and that the Christian God preposterous. The act of worship seems to me to be debasing rather than ennobling. It involves groveling before a Being, who, if he really exists, deserves to be denounced rather than respected. I see, after all, little evidence in this world of the so-called goodness of God. On the contrary, it seems to me that, on the strengths of His daily acts, He must be set down a most stupid, cruel and villainous fellow.
It is one of the Christian delusions that Christianity brought charity into the world. It did no such thing. There were plenty of agencies for taking care of the poor and helpless long before Christianity was heard of, and even before Judaism. Both Christianity and Judaism have converted charity into a sort of pious racket. The alms-giver, in return for a trifling expenditure on this earth, will be rewarded with an infinity of bliss post-mortem. This purely selfish note is struck with great clarity by Judaism, and only less clearly by Christianity. It appears also in the other religions of the East. Thus religion has not really promoted charity, but debased it.


To sum up with a syllogistic metaphor: 1. The cosmos is a gigantic fly-wheel making 10,000 revolutions a minute. 2. Man is a sick fly taking a dizzy ride on it. 3. Religion is the theory that the wheel was designed and set spinning to give him the ride.
It doesn't matter what we believe about Michael Jackson's sexuality. My point
is, we don't know anything about it. The jury, who heard and saw the evidence, (we did not) made their judgments based on the evidence. Enough said.
Re: Police officers are not allowed to drive drunk. It is just that nobody pulls them over, and if they do, they let them go. Wake up and smell the chlorine gene genius.
We recently had dinner (and I use that term loosely) at The Key Deer Bar & Grill. We're not sure which was worse the food or the service.  Both were deplorable and would make even the poorest dining experience we've ever had seem appealing.  Yuk!
Well, boys and girls I have a situation. My generator is putting 138 volts which would be detrimental to electronic equipment (PA,  Amps,  Keyboard). I know bands have played Fantasy Fest on generators and if the Moondogs are going to play the Picnic Island gig we are going to need some help. For any bands that have done the generator thing please let me know.
I like the comment about Bahama Jack's being closed for vacation. It is strange that a restaurant that does no business is closed for a vacation lasting months, but I see the owners around the area all the time. I see them very regularly eating at Fish Cutters. Maybe they think if they eat at a place with good food that is fresh caught and has good service it will rub off on them. Everyone who has had the misfortune of eating in their restaurant knows they need all the help they can get.
I couldn't agree more with the person who wrote in "Big Kudos to Dianne and Aroma’s deli." Saturday.  It is the closest thing to a real city deli we have in the Lower Keys.  The people are friendly, the food is great, prices are reasonable and the place is immaculate.  I get take out there quite a bit or have them deliver to my office.  Keep up the great work guys.

I herd (pun intended) that they are planning on filming a Girls Gone Wild video at a local bar. They are going to modify the title, however, in order to match the clientele; the new title will be Heifers Gone Stampeding. Lot's of udders will be shown.
Good point about the Bennies. That New Jersey hog I picked up in a bar both defecated and urinated in my house, and to add insult to injury, she obnoxiously complained about everything in the Keys, saying things like, "There's no culture here, where are the shopping malls, the people are rednecks, and I can't get bagels and lox".  But to be fair, she did have a nice booty.
Big Pine needs a really nice "Big Pine Key Inn."  All we have in Big Pine to eat at is the BPK diner. They rest of the places are bars. (not great with kids). The 2 for 20 pizza place is just as good as BPK Pizza.
Mr. Mark Peterson. Good luck in your travels. I enjoyed the time we had to jam together. Because you, your wife, Angus and I were the band--Angus Bangus! We were tight and to the point. Better yet, we kicked ass and took names. Those were the days. So look me up in the future. You have my number. Keep in contact and jam on buddy. Your old drummer.
I am very sorry to hear the True Value is leaving.  Where can we rent machinery? Were will we got sod. Were will we get "hometown" service?  I guess Home Depot won.   

I agree with the person who is terrified of the ice cream truck-- me too.  I think I saw Pennywise at the wheel the other day. He said something like, "they all float down here". On second thought, maybe he was just talking about the poop party at Marvin Key.
We have already lost most of the neat creatures that made this place so special. Once people lose respect for animals they lose respect for each other. What makes anyone think that if government can get rid of animals you are not next. Propaganda is well and alive and works. People do not think. People can not organize and they do not fight back. This means government can do anything it wants, and it does while people walk around in a fog. As for the cats, the Feds have now required the removal of feral cats in the Big Pine areas so that developers can build more.(?) A handful of people profit and we pay the price. This is a very lengthy topic.
Has anyone noticed that the reason everyone is picking on the W-D is because there are no real businesses on Big Pine? Go to Marathon the ride is beautiful.


Why on earth would anyone think Tom Cruise is hot? He is barely 5 ft. tall, and is puny. It is amazing what the camera, makeup and props can do. When Tom Tumb is filmed face to face with another actor, he is standing on a crate.
Re: Moondogs on Picnic Island July 3rd:  Find someone who will let you play on a large boat-pontoon, barge, etc.  Sand fleas, mosquitos and salt water are not good for musicians or equipment. If you could get a barge, you could do the concert in the middle of Pine Channel so more could attend. Just a suggestion.
More big ugly sign info. http://keysnews.com/283576951349153.bsp.htm
Policemen & former police do not have to drink responsibly, they're right next to you in the dark bars getting hammered. When/if they're pulled over, they flash their badges and the brotherhood lets them drive to the next dive for more fun-n-games.
I just read this shocking headline: Africanized Bees Spotted in SW Arkansas. Does this mean Arkansas radio will be forced to play hip-hop and gangsta' rap? Keep those bees out of the Keys-please (now I've started to rap-crap!).
DBV(?) they could get away with it. Watch Guido pound down 15 cold ones & attempt to make an appearance at the Moose, but detoured to the special place for Bennies.

Sunday June 19, 2005

 

Saturday June 18, 2005


Moondogs
July 3 on Picnic Island. Does anyone have a big enough boat to put the band on instead of the Island?
Is that the same Ole Swimmin Hole where the 'gator lives?
Re: Michael Jackson a homo. Are you saying that you believe m.j. is heterosexual? I think
enough scout leaders and female gym teachers have been convicted to answer your next question. You blame a parent instead of the molester. Do you realize if something ever happens to your kids, everyone will blame you for being so blind to the reality? I pray for these poor children
Outdoor cats.  Finally, the powers that be are going to begin to address the huge problem throughout  this country about educating cat owners about the impacts that their cats are having upon our nation's dwindling wildlife. I remember, not too long ago, when we used to have a viable population of Indigo snakes on No Name Key. Unfortunately, a handful of unknowledgeable homeowners got domestic cats and let them outside most of the time. Two people I know have 3 cats right smack dab in one of the last sanctuaries of the Lower Keys Marsh Rabbit areas in Big Pine Key and cannot be dissuaded to keep the cats from killing.  Without laws and harsh penalties, our very endangered wildlife are going to be exterminated by a creature that doesn't even belong here. We will lose some of the neat creatures that make this place so special.
I think the picture of the Moondog is Boomer.
Are the Moondogs playing at the "Brazilian pepper fest" the hottest show of the summer?



I was at a bar the other night and took this picture of one of the beauties there. Can anyone say, "moooo?"

Blatent comercialization: Big Kudos to Dianne and Aroma’s deli.  Great sandwiches at a great price.  Especially the Ruben.  If y’all haven’t tried Aroma’s you’re missing out. It ain’t fancy and it ain’t very big but it’s friendly and you get a really good, generous sandwich in a basket with chips and a real Kosher pickle spear for a darned good price.  Nice deli case selection too.  They even deliver and make great party trays. You’ll find it between Paradise Insurance and Big Pine Bike Shop  (And no I don’t work there or own the joint. I just like a hard working person running a small, quality business giving good value and friendly service)



The big gate is probably why no one uses the swimming hole.
Dynamic Message Signs. Does Rory Santana, the big sign advocate, play guitar? And if he plays in the Keys, will the Trinity less one group claim he is not very good?
Great photo of Howard Dean. What an idiot. I totally agree with the person saying that the guy makes the republican party look good.
Tom Cruise is Hot. His "religion" is interesting but says never way way way too much. Some of you Keys people may be enlightened and assisted by The Code.
Scientologist Code of Honor:
1. Never desert a comrade in need, in danger or in trouble.
2. Never withdraw allegiance once granted.
3. Never desert a group to which you owe your support.
4. Never disparage yourself or minimize your strength or power.
5. Never need praise, approval or sympathy.
6. Never compromise with your own reality.
7. Never permit your affinity to be alloyed.
8. Do not give or receive communication unless you yourself desire it.
9. Your self-determinism and your honor are more important than your immediate life.
10. Your integrity to yourself is more important than your body.
11. Never regret yesterday. Life is in you today, and you make your tomorrow.
12. Never fear to hurt another in a just cause.
13. Don't desire to be liked or admired.
14. Be your own adviser, keep your own counsel and select your own decisions. 15. Be true to your own goals.
Re: Jerseyites. Be glad your 1300 miles from them. We clamdiggers have only 60 miles seperating us. A "Bennie", in scientific circles and in Jersey beach culture, means an out of towner, often sterotyped as a "New Yorker", (but that's not necessarily the case).

If you live near a beach in New Jersey, "Bennie" is a species that visits your beach community on weekends in the summer. "Bennie" will invade your local bars, beaches, malls, stores and recreation areas in search of booze, sex, and debauchery. While it is true that many species seek the same types of fun, the "Bennie" species is unusual in that they follow no known social standard. The species is loud, obnoxious, rude, arrogant and will persue it's goals with no regard to local inhabitants. Especially egregious is their desire to urinate and defecate in the public view. It is important to avoid "Bennies" who appear in public, as they are easily agitated and can react in an aggressive manner, especially if members are seen in a pack (which is quite common).

Both genders of "Bennie" will typically preface sentences with the word "Yo" and will also use phrases such as "F****in'-A-Right" and "F*** You, You F***ing Peckerhead".

The male is prone to wearing wife beaters, gold chains and is fond of sexual harassment. The females are best described as the type of gal who would consider her greatest achievement to be a cameo in a Nelly video.

For those not familiar with the Jersey Shore, you may say, "Well, if I ever saw a 'Bennie', I would think this species actually originates in New Jersey. The stereotype matches, and hell, I watch the 'Sopranos'!"

Modern science has confirmed that while there are some "Bennie" species indigenous to the Jersey Shore, most actually inhabit and breed in the surrounding metro regions of NY and Philadelphia. Local inhabitants have tolerated this invasion without question for years in the interest of "tourism". It is the burden that we in these towns must bear for fiscal success.
Did you know that a can of Coke has 9.5 teaspoons of sugar. Fruit punch has 11 teaspoons! Imagine waking up in the morning and pouring a nice cup of coffee and then adding 9.5 teaspoons of sugar. Common sense would say, Whoa! But no, parents give their children soda. To make up for being fat, parents then give their children diet soda so they don't get the sugar, which increases a kids tooth decay 500% due to the carbonation. So between sugar, fake sugar and carbonation any type of soda is bad. I truly don't understand how any parent would want their child drinking anything that mother nature didn't provide, such as milk or water. I think having an obese child should be considered a form of child abuse. The greatest joy of being a child is being able to run, climb, jump...not play video games. That should really anger a lot of parents. Good, get pissed, and then look in the mirror. A fat kid has no hope of success in life. Laziness (too hot and fat), disease (diabetes is just one). Our government is now stepping in because the majority of our kids are fat. shame on you!


The New Jersey Fair is starting soon.  They would like the state cow to come home now.
I've got a good idea who the person asking about a permit for Moondogs on Picnic Island is.  What a blight on the whole of the Keys. Move, already.

Re: Underseas Dive Shop doesn't cut their yard. They not only don't cut their yard, but they don't do any maintenance at all. Just look at their store, parking lot and boat.

www.airsidetv.com - On-line Aviation Television.
Go Moondogs! See you there.
Re: dive shop. How does being a customer qualify you to know that they didn't write something? Unless you spent 24 hours a day with them ( I doubt) how can you say something so ridiculous. It takes a minute to drop an e-mail. Maybe they didn't do it, but maybe they did. Either way your comment was stupid.


Tongue in cheek
is a disgusting expression and should only be used when one is at Teasers or involved with a local crack whore.
An employee speaks out. Let's turn it around. Some of the customers are extremely rude. No matter what, you can't please them. Some are angry while waiting that the tourist or snowbirds are taking up too much time or space as if they weren't here. We know we really want to be the only one on line. As for the New Jersey and New Yorkers, they want a speed isle like back home, but guess what? The lines back home are just as long; or longer. I had been shopping at my favorite store all my life and always had at least a 45 min (exaggerated) wait on line. Or longer. How about the person who approaches you like we are from out of space and will ask, "Do you sell milk here?", like people in the Keys don't drink milk. As for out of date foods, check your dates? If shelf life is less than 3 days don't buy it. All perishable items have a date. If the day you are shopping is the 20th then you want something dated the 23rd. Some have longer dates, this is just an example. All you Publix and Albertson fans, I've shopped at both places and other WDs and they can't compare to BP WD customer service. Most of the employees will go out of there way to help you even if they are off duty.






Ice cream
truck: I hear it, but never see it.  Maybe it’s a ghost truck?

Fair winds and following seas, Mark.  Be safe and visit often. Hint: I guess this is the "long flush goodbye." Best of luck to a stand up guy. Your friend.
Big Pine is not Key West. But those outside of Key West will lump all the Florida Keys as one. And I know many residents of BPK who take part in Fantasy Fest. The bubbas of the county include all of Monroe county; and you will say this is all over the country. Yes, it is and that is the shame.
I have to agree that the race boat motors at Picnic Island are much louder than than a generator would be.

I was just informed that the person who had the problem of a getting rid of a Jerseyite woman houseguest followed the posted suggestions and left a trail of cheap jewelry, foul perfume etc. to the far end of the Seven Mile Bridge.  As predicted, the offensive person did indeed follow the trail and instantly aggravated, irked, abused, abraded, chaffed, annoyed and disgusted the very first person she encountered in Marathon and continued her progress slowly northward.  She was last seen at the McDonalds counter loudly and offensively complaining her super-size fries were three fries short of a full portion.  Unfortunately, Marathon citizens have now filed suit against Big Pine for willingly polluting their environment with malice aforethought and, in addition, seeks recompense for the numerous bodily injuries resulting from Vaca Key residents slipping in the slime trail. 



When the Icecream truck comes down my street in Eden Pines
I lock the doors. The first time I heard that tune was after dark on a winter night. And for 4 or 5 times after that. It's always dark outside when the truck was on my street (deadend). Reminds me of a Stephen King movie or something. I’m expecting the “IT” to be driving. Scary!  http://www.thefleshfarm.com/it.html

If you dislike those "FDOT Message Signs" that are a blight on our only roadway. then we need to mass-mail our great Gov. Bush, call him, E-mail him, whatever you have to do. Make them know we don't like those damn signs. I got $20 dollar bill that says the next hurricane rips those stupid signs right out of the ground.

Re: Police officers are allowed to drive drunk?  A comment by another moron with limited mental facilities polluting the gene pool.  More chlorine!

Dive Shop Complainers. Have you ever thought that just maybe they do not own the property that the business sits on?




The war on drugs. Our local authorities raided someones house, kicked in the door and lots of armed cops all for 10 grams of weed and a pipe. At this rate you might have Flagler Ave. clean by 2024. Baby steps like this are a real joke in this town. This hardly sounds like a big dealer. It sounds more like a couple of teens catching a buzz. Most people arrested with less than 20 grams or a pipe get a ticket and go home, but not these people. It must be really slow out there for the cops. This sounds like an episode of Reno 911. At least, it is just as funny.

Saturday June 18, 2005

 

Friday June 17, 2005

Re: Band on Picnic Island. Someone yesterday asked about a permit. Don't tell me that some creep is going to complain about that? It's the first time that anything like a band has played there. What is the person's objection? Is it because of the generator? Is the generator louder or dirtier than all the outboard motors that'll be there? Could they be from Jersey? Are they against us locals having a good time? Or, even worse, are they from a Government regulatory agency whose main purpose is to be uptight?

Rumor control:  The original rumor was that the old Montego Bay property was sold to the Nature Conservancy.  The newest rumor is that the sale fell through the cracks and the property owners have now leased the property to an unnamed individual who has (according to the lease agreement) two years to rebuild a restaurant/bar of some sort.  Further rumors say that the True Value property has indeed been sold but not to Publix; and that Conch & Stein is still for sale.  If that isn’t enough it is being said that the good Capt., owner of Key Deer Bar eagerly wants to sell and divest himself of the business.  Who knows?













I f
inally found that needed ingrediant for New Jersey stew. Thank You Winn Dixie.
The response of Get a Life did not come from any one from Underseas Dive Shop. I am a customer and have been for over 10 years. I don't think any one has the right to demand what someone else does with their property.
Free Shutters. You know what lady? You kill me. Let me explain it to you. Every one that is on the list for shutters left over from last year or before gets to go first. There is just so much money in the till. If they have problems where installation requires more man power, more hours, more money and they run out of money, you get to wait until next year. Chuck cannot predict how the installer is doing and I am not so sure that is his job. He makes sure measurements are taken and people are ready as long as there are funds. There are three lists 1-2-3. So if you're on the end they will run out soon. Unless you are having a fund raising event for them the phone calls will be no big deal for you. Do you think you are the only one calling Chuck? I pray he does not have many more like you on his hands. Chuck is such a great guy I never heard any one bad mouth him before.
From an old tune you may or may not remember.

I went to a garden party
Everyone was there
But it's all right now
I learned my lesson well
Singin' you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself
Who issues the permit to have a band on Picnic Island?
The person giving all those cudos to Winn Dixie must be from New Jersey, and by the way I think New Jersey has stolen our Dolphin!

Plethora:  After considerable research and consultation with both a math major and noted expert on obscure datum I have found that a plethora contains 144 shitloads.  Now that’s gross!

Well, we already have treehuggers whining about generators on picnic island. Stay home, we don't want you there. Go, Moondogs! See you there.
Talk about a shitload--I just went wireless and there is a plethera of wires hanging everywhere! Some work, some don't. It took someone who could rebuild an airplane mid-air with two paper clips, a rubber band and a stick of gum to hook up this router. Since then, I have been kicked off of Bell South twice. I might as well just go to Winn Dixie!
Pork Chops and Potatoes     I dug this recipe out, as I said I would if you were really interested:
Grease bottom or baking dish
Layer of sliced raw potatoes, 1/2 inch thick
Sprinkle with salt (optional)
Brown pork chops in frying pan; salt and pepper chops if you wish
Place chops on top of potatoes
Fry onions until barely soft- use plenty because fried onions are mild tasting
Spread onions evenly over chops and potatoes
Add 2 or 3 cans of tomato sauce and 1/2 can H2O, depending on size of meal
Place in 350 degree oven for 1 to 1 1/4 hr, longer if chops are thick.
This meal is even better on the second day, as leftovers, so I suggest that you make as big a portion as your baking dishes and oven will accommodate.

If I get enough positive feedback, I will search out and post the meatball and spaghetti sauce recipe that was passed down to me. 

That couldn't have been the car walking cat, I snuffed it two days ago.
http://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/~jon/humor/web_animations/winrg.swf
I and my other ex- Nawlins service industry friends are really busy in our off hours (summer means a bunch of free time) addressing the panhandler problem. We are going out and teaching the bums a trade. anybody who has been to Bourbon Street has seen the shoe shine scam, "Bet I know where you got those shoes?" in action, right? Well, we are busily bringing it to the Lower Keys. That should beat the un-constitutional panhandle laws and provide tons of entertainment for us while the majority of tourist are away. Hell, we even saw one bum already using it on Front Street.
Re: exotic plants at Underseas Dive Shop. The reason that these kind of people allow plants like Brazilian Peppers, Melaleuca, Leadtree, etc. is because they are fast growing plants and provide quick shade--environment be damned. These 3 plants are against the law to plant, but there is a loophole in the law. Nothing says that you have to bend over and pull that seedling out of the ground. So that once it has started growing on your property you are entitled to let it grow and infest your neighbor's properties and natural areas, etc. Unfortunately, we taxpayers are paying dearly for people's negligence with regard to spreading plants as the dive shop is doing. The State of Florida spends millions of dollars annually on removing Brazilian Peppers alone. The nearest source of info in the Keys is probably the FL Keys Invasive Exotics Task Force. Sorry, but I don't have their web site info, but you should be able to Google it. Shame on you, dive shop!

Every bit as funny as some of these postings is how easy it is to rile up and really ruffle some folk’s feathers.  Some readers take a note:  A lot of these comments (Boondocks Heifers, Winn-Dixie bashing, Jerseyites etc.) are nothing more than tongue-in-cheek humor (although it does tend to lean slightly toward the dark side from time to time).  Lighten up people and don’t take everything so seriously.  (O.K. The Jersey comments are pretty accurate!)

What happened to Jeff at Ace Hardware in Big Pine? I miss his smile when I walk in the door
Slightly paraphrasing Bill Maher, "Flying a flag on your car is literally the least you can do."
3 more years, Liberals. 3 more years. Cry, cry, cry. Keep writing all of your anti-Republican bull. I rather enjoy listening to you liberals whine and boo hoo about our great President. I know, when it's not your team, then it's all lies. I can't wait to hear your responses. Make it good, cause I need a good rib sore from the laughing you cause me. By the way Hillary, you almost had a couple of independents thinking you were middle of the road and not left, but you screwed that up by not sticking to your script. You and Howard, keep up the good work!
Re: Winn-Dixie’s good points:  Ah, yes.  Thanks to the writer who pointed out that Winn-Dixie does indeed have canned goods that rival the quality found at Publix or Albertsons (higher price being the exception).  I’m contrite!  Gazing into my pantry I now realize that the cans of soup, corn, peas and green beans are as good as can be found anywhere.  Forget the rude checkers and long lines, self check-out stations (half of which are continually out of service), short shelf life meat and produce and reduced selection since they scrambled the store.  Yep, canned goods are where it’s at.
The ribbon phenomenon. What a fantastic use of unregulated capitalism. My complaint though isn't with the ubiquitous yellow ribbons, cammo ribbons, red white and blue ribbons... ad nauseum. What stands out is the wording.

The ribbons say; "Support our Troops" not "I Support our Troops".

Isn't it odd that the message being communicated is a directive and not a declarative? It's a command to random strangers to do something and not a statement that the individual displaying the ribbon has actually done something. These are the same people who think a tax cut during war time is fiscally smart and probably wouldn't cross the street to piss on a man on fire. As long as the focus is on telling others what they should be doing, there's no need for personal sacrifice? The ones that have "made in China" printed on them are the best!


I have a plethora of wires to my "wireless network", and if I am forced to count them all, I will be slitting my wrists with a butter knife
Tender pork chops: Quickly brown outside on hot stove, leaving the inside rare. Place in plastic roasting bag with barbecue sauce & quartered onion. Bake at 350.
(Hungry Ed: Bake for how long?)
To the "first time reader" of kudos and whiners:  Big Pine  is not Key West. We have no Fantasy Fest and we're not bubbas. You need  kw.com.
Flea World- Miniclip.com
They said Americans drink 53 gallons of soda a year. No wonder we're fat. I just had a Meyers and coke to do my part.
Fridays with Mitch

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

You know they call corn-on-the-cob, "corn-on-the-cob", but that's how it comes out of the ground. They should just call it corn, and every other type of corn, 'corn-off-the-cob'. It's not like if someone cut off my arm they would call it "Mitch", and then re-attached it, and call it "Mitch-all-together".

I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential.

My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave, does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.

At the end of a letter, I like to write "P.S. - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No.... but I want a regular banana later, so... Yeah."

Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. Dude didn't even get his degree

I hate flossing, I wish I just had one long curvy tooth.

The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough."
Howard Dean. Oh, Howard Dean. Thank you so much for helping the Republican Party. Your strong hatred of our non-honest working and white Christians make you one of a kind. I sincerly hope that all of you Liberals follow this fine upstanding leader of your party. I will sleep much better if you do, because I know that my party will still be in office after the Great George W. is gone in 3 years. Keep on keeping on.
County says no to highway signs. By Laurie Karnatz Citizen Staff.
 
After an apparently unsatisfactory presentation by officials from the state Department of Transportation, the Monroe County Commission on Wednesday decided to ask the agency to halt all efforts to install a new dynamic message system on the Overseas Highway. The system, which consists of 14 electronic signs placed over the roadway and 36 cameras to monitor traffic, has mobilized a diverse group of Keys citizens and unified elected officials, some of whom don't always get along. The County Commission and officials from Keys cities already have sent resolutions opposing the project, which they described as a blight on the road, which was designated a scenic highway after a seven-year effort.

But FDOT spokesman Rory Santana said the signs were necessary to control traffic, improve traffic flow, and help a million-plus annual visitors navigate the Keys. "In this case, I'm saying these signs are needed," said Santana. Santana said the agency had already considered and rejected suggestions that the size and number of signs be scaled back. "As far as the scaling, the Keys is unique, but unfortunately for eyesight [and] the speed of vehicles, all that is the same as anywhere else," Santana said.

Commissioner Charles "Sonny" McCoy suggested that perhaps the project had been conceived by "too many engineers." June Helbling, a Marathon resident who spent years working to get the road designated a scenic highway — a designation awarded by FDOT and one which discourages billboards — suggested that the two arms of the agency weren't working together. McCoy, an architect, went further. "Maybe it's time to bring in somebody who's aware of where we are," McCoy said. "Let's look at things a little differently than we do on I-95."

But representatives from the agency said they already had taken into account differences between the environmentally sensitive Keys and its counterparts on the mainland. For instance, the signs are somewhat smaller than those on major interstates. The original number of signs also has been reduced from 30 to 14, with a minimum of eight miles between them.

Commissioner Murray Nelson, who already has plans to meet with agency officials in Tallahassee later this month, said he would hand-deliver the message from the board. Even before that, County Administrator Tom Willi is expected to send state officials "a very forcefully stated letter asking all

Happy Birthday Pac Man! For a video game, Pac-Man is getting downright old. The ghost-wary hero with an insatiable appetite for dots turns 25 this month.
The Michael Jackson jury couldn't figure where to place Michael if he had been found guilty- a woman's gay, er... I mean "day" spa or the men's big house. Add that to the fact that the Jacko has enough problems. I wouldn't want to be him.
Has anyone noticed that Bahama Jack's has been closed for vacation for over 3 months?  How does a restaurant that has done so little business take such a long vacation?  Could they just be closed and don't want to admit it?  I was thinking maybe someone snuck some fresh fish in and they are waiting four months to serve it so they don't break their pattern of business.  Maybe all of their servers are going to good service school.
How come I never see anyone swimming at the Ole Swimming Hole? Maybe if folks used it the county would value it. Wouldn't it be nice to swim, picnic and watch the sun set there?



I wonder about people who write in to say "get a life". What? Are dead people posting?
Does anyone in Eden Pines know what's up with the ice cream man? He comes about every 4 months or so, at whatever time he feels like it. One time at 9:30 at night, on a school night. you can hear him coming, but he only picks whatever streets he feel like going down. What gives dude? Are you trying to make a living or crack money?


Which one of the Moondogs is this?
Re: Tender pork chops. Duct tape one chop to the tread surface on each tire on your car and drive to the local tavern and toss back a few brews. (This will help tenderize you as well) Returning home, remove the chops from the tires, scrape off residual asphalt, gravel, road kill etc. from chops and place in a crock pot with 1/2 cup water and 1 can of cream of mushroom soup and cook on high for 4 hours. The chops will be very tender and moist. Of course if you don’t want to use the tire method (or, gasp, you don't frequent a local tavern), you can follow any of the numerous suggestions in those things spelled "c-o-o-k b-o-o-k-s" available almost anywhere. As they say at Winn-Dixie, "Estupendo. La chuletas es muy bueno,amigo."
Habitat for Humanity will not assist the single disabled with any type of housing. The only people that qualify for help by Habitat are "families"- and people who choose to have child after child that they cannot afford. Even though disabled singles are often homeless and helpless, Habitat turns them away. Not exactly humane, huh?

Friday June 17, 2005

 

Thursday June 16, 2005

I noticed yesterday the total of key deer killed so far this year is 39. My question is when is the cookout? I mean why not keep all that venison that is keep able and once a year have a fundraising venison cookout with all those key (so-called) deer and all proceeds to go to Key Deer Refuge.

Re: Pork Chop and tomato recipe. I'd like to have your recipe if you'll guarantee that it will be tender. Yum. The other respondent's tip to boiling them first sounds like it will remove all the flavor. Anyway, how long should  boil them for?

Re: Moondogs on Picnic Is. Email me at isafari@bellsouth.net  to tell me what you need transportation-wise. And when the return trip is because that's the hard part.

If an employ of Winn-Dixie goes into your pocket break their arm.


How many "upscale" people who already live here or are going to move here will take an active part in the well being of the feral cat population or really enjoy cleaning iguana poop off their seawalls or replacing the plants they devour?
An interesting time line for the internet. The Lemon: History Of The Internet
Re: Cross island road. As a matter of fact you can't believe anything from any one who has a position in Monroe county!
Re: Filling Marina Resort basin. Lets just fill in the oceans of the world for the betterment of the people living on it.
How many shitloads are in a plethora?
We where told that the downstairs enclosures could not store anything but a mower and a shovel, but it's ok to put everything else in a shed. What kind sense does this make?
Did you know that Police Officers are allowed to drive drunk? What happens when one of them kills somebody? This isn't right. There should be intense DUI task forces waiting outside bars for these people. I wonder if they get free groceries and don't have to pay taxes as well. Why special treatment for big, fat, ugly, dirty cops?
Re:  Pork Chop recipe.   I think the tenderizer question specifically said they did not want recipes.
How is Michael Jackson a known homosexual?  And since when are homosexuals child molesters?  I also think parents are nutty to let their kid spend time with MJ, but your reasoning is odd. I do let my gay friends baby sit my kids.
Re: reply to the reply about comedy night. So are you Chinese or Japanese? Every other Monday means nothing without a start date.
Re: upscale Big Pine. You are free to leave too if you don't like this and that. What makes you think you are better than anyone else here? I doubt that you're the perfect neighbor.
Don't try this if you've been drinking. http://home.mn.rr.com/t1camp1/Focus.swf
Someone was asking about Winn-Dixie's good points. That got me to thinking. (And thinking, and thinking...) Surely there are some things that Winn-Dixie does well that deserves commendation. Hmmmm. What is it about WD that is not sub-par? In what area does WD do a good job in? Meats? Well, no that's not it. Produce? Next question. Seafood? Not bloody likely. Service? Ah no, that's definitely not it. I've got it! Canned goods! I haven't had a bad experience with their canned goods. Yep, that's right. If you want some canned goods Winn Dixie is your place. As long as price isn't a big deal to you, and if you don't mind a long wait in line, get your canned goods at Winn-Dixie. New motto: "Winn-Dixie, our Campbell's soup is as good as the real stores"
Re: didn't like Key West. Maybe they should have gone to Bourbon St. since we're just amateurs. Yeah, I'm sure there are no panhandlers or homeless in New Orleans. Why bother to come back to Big Pine (we don't want you) go straight to Bourbon St. It is such a clean and beautiful town. Enjoy! Another example of people pollution in the Keys.
Re: 1700 American deaths. I'll bet that death 2000 will happen on 9/11/05. Why aren't we talking about impeachment of a lying, murdering president?



What ever happened to "Hurricane Dave"?
Re: pork chop recipe in tomato sauce. I don't know if they want it, but I do.
Are Brazilian peppers bad or something? There are some growing in our yard.
You can't believe Donald Rumsfeld and you can't believe George Neugent either!
Winn Dixie is the "#1 gross selling store". That’s what we are complaining about!  The store is gross.

Re: Cat rescued from pipe fitting. I saw this on the news and wondered if this was the car-walking-cat in Big Pine. When I saw that someone actually helped the cat, I knew it wasn't Big Pine.
This is not a complaint. I was wondering why Underseas Dive shop doesn't cut their back yard. If
your neighbors don't like it and offered to cut it for free, why would you just let it grow unless
possibly you are being difficult. I am not a customer of either business, but your response
of, "get a life" seems to me to tell the real story. If my neighbor refused to cut their yard, I would get mad too. Unfriendly neighbor = unfriendly business to all the community.
I just read kudos and whiners for the first time. Some of it sounds like an extension of Fantasy Fest sleaziness. Not the place where I grew up and love. KW needs to return to wholesomeness and the meaning of family. Not the "one human family" rainbow outies and visitors who will never "do that" in their own backyard. It sounds like the bubbas keep on keeping on, too. Oh, well, this is what we call progress and freedom, huh? Tsk, tsk.
Re: Moondogs. Be careful of that new cross-bred music. It is a cross between country music
and rap. they call it CRAP. Was that huggy bear in the picture?

What a thankless person is she who wrote in bitching about not getting her upgraded shutters as promptly as she thought she should.  Habitat For Humanity offered you virtually FREE shutters.  You chose to complicate the process by wanting to upgrade.  And, if you can afford the few thousand dollars to upgrade to accordion shutters you don’t need free shutters anyway.  Habitat For Humanity does a lot of good work for people in this community who are truly thankful for the assistance.   It’s a shame that you are so shallow and unappreciative that you feel justified to whine about a delay.  You’re not the only person waiting.  Perhaps your “hundreds of phone calls” have caused you to be seen as an ungrateful pest.  (Probably an accurate assessment)  An even greater insult was to criticize Chuck.  He is a man who constantly gives to the community.  When was the last time you did something positive for your neighbors or volunteer a little of your time for a worthwhile cause?  When you see your shutters, you’ll know that you have them.  It takes time.  Until then, look up the words ‘appreciate and thank you’ and then try to be ever so slightly thankful that an organization such as Habitat exists in our community.

Here is a some interesting information:  Smoking continues to drop among U.S. adults. Still, the government wants to see a lot more people kick the cigarette habit -- and the sooner, the better. A little more than one in five adults smoke. That's 21.6% of American adults, or 45.4 million people. Those numbers are down from 22.5% in 2002 and 22.8% in 2001. the report notes that Key's women are the exception and are rather proud of their 95% chain smoking rate.

Re: If you don't like Winn Dixie get in your car and drive 20 miles and bitch about it all the way there so the rest of us don't have to listen to it. I just bought lots of very fresh vegs. The meat looked fine and you people on this site are a lot ruder than anyone I have ever encountered at W.D. No one is being forced to shop there, so go else where and shut up!
Talk about trash left on the street. This is the lovely view from our kitchen window that we get to enjoy everyday. Come on neighbors, give us a break.
(Ed: My software blocked your photo. Was it in a .jpeg format? That's the format we use.)
Re:  Mars being closest to earth in August.  That already happened in August of 2003.  I've received the same email from three different people, so this is an old email still circulating.  Check out Snopes.com for this and any other urban legend before spreading it around.  http://www.snopes.com/science/mars.asp
I just looked it up in my intergalactic dictionary. Blorg means dickweed.
Re: No shutters or return phone calls. So I'll have to assume that I'm the only one to get the run-around from Chuck? Also, I'm not at all complaining about Habitat or the program, I'm merely confused by Chuck's continual excuses and put-offs. If he would just be honest with people instead of telling them he'll get back with them and never doing it, then misunderstandings/hard-feelings wouldn't occur. As to the unkind person who assumes that I'm a greedy ungrateful person...you know what you can do with your assumptions, don't you, you must have looked deep to characterize me in the image of yourself!

Talk about rude and attitudes. I've never used Big Pine Laundry,  but she must be good friends with the 2 girls at Walton's pet store. I've tried to do business with them several times for bird food and they are just down right rude or miserable people.  How do they stay in business? 
Re: Short end of divorce. The Michael Jackson trial is a prime example of our court system. We need to get the system out in the public eye so that everyone can see how disgraceful it is. It's sad that nobody cares until they get caught in their web. I'm trying to get the divorce courts changed. Believe me what happened in there was shocking. The problem is that the Judges answer to no one. Everybody I know watched in total disbelief at what they did to me. All I kept hearing was they can't do that, but they did. The all powerful Judges need to be stopped. There has to be recourse when they do wrong. If they are so proud of what they do then bring it out into the public eye.
Ah, the lovely sound of a generator on picnic island. Isn't nature wonderful?
Re: Habitat Shutters. "hundreds of phone calls" in two months? If "hundreds" means just two hundred that's over three calls per day, every day, seven days a week. Perhaps the reason you don't get return calls is because you've been identified as an overbearing, demanding pain-in-the-arse.
Martha Stewart did not go to jail for insider stock trading. In fact, she was found not guilty of the charge. What got her in trouble was lying to federal investigators, the same charge (among others) that were used to arrest Jack London and Jim Hendricks. If only Michael Jackson had been so "enlightened".

Re: Shorts Crapper.  Ain’t nothing like messing your laundry in public, eh?  One remedy is to crap your self prior to entering the establishment, dropping your dirty shorts in the parking lot, grabbing a couple of sea grape leaves, cleaning up and then trying to look like nothing happened.  Of course you’ll have to be able to deal with the residuals. You have a reserved table at Key Deer. Yeeeeee, Haaw!

You who think a cross island road is a good thing. How would you like streams of traffic going past your house on a Sunday afternoon?
Where in the hell is Pig-Nig Island? And who in their right mind would hang out there anyway? I would rather spend my time reading the New York Times and drinking a nice latte in the company of intelligent people, not NASCAR Bozos.

Re: Moondogs. They should learn some songs that are less than thirty years old.
Winn-Dickedme Again!

Thursday June 16, 2005

 

Wednesday June 15, 2005



Sex offenders. -::- Free PublicData.com SexOffender Search -::-  Do you want to know if any sex offenders live near you? Type in your zip code only, no other info is necessary.
Michael Jackson found not guilty by reason of celebrity. Creepy!
Ed! Thought I'd share.

Dear Mr. Trible,
Commissioner Rice recently attended a meeting of the Florida Keys
Scenic Highway Advisory Group, attended by two representatives of FDOT,
Debra Stucki, DEP, Office of Greenways and Trails, and DEP District
Secretary Bob Ballard. Commissioner Rice voiced the concerns of the
BOCC and residents of the Keys regarding the highway signage issue, and
he will continue to work on this issue.
Tamara Lundstrom, Executive Assistant
For Monroe County Commissioner David P. Rice
Only in Big Pine would you hear someone complain about a program to give you free shutters. I too was approved, yes, two years ago and I am just getting them now. I sat back and watched people get them that if they had to bring in the paper work to prove their income would not make it. Illegal rental units under the house etc.  Chuck is a man who gives to this community and has for the last 20 yrs. that I have known him. Habitat is a volunteer organization, in case you didn't know. And if I was Chuck, I would make sure you qualify. I'll bet you don't. If you can afford the three thousand dollars to upgrade--buy your own shutters. And one more thing, when was the last time you did anything for the wellbeing of others that live here in BP?  When Habitat runs out of money, even if the list is not complete, you will have to wait until next year, just like I did. Get a gripe. Leave Chuck alone.
I went out of town for 2 weeks so I'm not sure what the Winn-Dixie complaint is about, but I do have to say W/D has been on a holiday long enough.  First they re-arrange the store that makes no rhyme or reason & then they stop selling all the good products. I've heard they are one of the #1 gross selling stores in the state of Florida.
Brazilian Pepper Guy...get a life!
Pork Chop recipe.   If you want, I will dig out a great recipe. It is simple to make and is baked with tomato sauce.  Just indicate that you are interested and I will post it.
Michael Jackson found not guilty. The ones who should go to jail are the kid's parents for letting their children spend the night with a known homosexual who paid another kid off to drop the charges of Jackson fondling his penis.  What parent would allow a kid to go to that house?
This is a very small Island. As a Moondog, we have only told a couple of people about our plans to pick up some more material (will be in the studio tonight). But what I really want to know is how they knew we were going to start playing Hip Hop and country music? The coconut telegraph in it's finest form. Also for the other comment, we will be on the Picnic Island Sunday, July 3. We are checking out the generator this weekend at a party and if all goes well, it's Rock and Roll! Oh, yeah, hip hop too. NOT! For the offer to help with equipment, we could probably use the help. I think I have enough room for equipment but several friends without boats need a lift. I live 2 blocks from the boat ramp in Eden Pines. Please let me know how to get in touch.
Upscale Big Pine. You do not get to choose your neighbors. They get to chose you. There are so many homes for sale in Big Pine. Most residents are priced-out of the Keys and South Florida, unless they live in trailer parks. The day has come to welcome many, many more, new and improved, residents who brush and floss all their teeth, are not alcohol infested, stinky hillbillies who dump trash in our woods and poison feral cats and iguanas. Thank heavens for the wonderful change of demographics. This makes Big Pine Key even more perfect!


Bozone
(n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
I found out that mosquito control truck sprays Cudjoe every 2 wks and Big Pine can't get them here once in a while. I think last summer the truck came in my neighborhood once.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Critic's Corner. I am always interested in the people in films who have just had a drink thrown in their faces. Sometimes they react with uncontrollable rage, but sometimes, my favorites, they do not change their expressions at all. Instead they raise a handkerchief or napkin and calmly dab at the offending liquid, as the hurler jumps to her feet and storms away. The other people at the table are understandably uncomfortable. A woman leans over and places her hand on the sleeve of the man's jacket and says, "David, you know she didn't mean it." David answers, "Yes," but in an ambiguous tone - the perfect adult response. But now the orchestra has resumed its amiable and lively dance music, and the room is set in motion as before. Out in the parking lot, however, Elizabeth is setting fire to David's car. Yes, this is a contemporary film.
Does anyone believe a word that comes out of Donald Rumsfeld's mouth? How do these people sleep at night?
O.J. got away with murder, Robert Blake did too, now Michael Jackson gets away with screwing little boy's; and poor Martha Stewart went to prison just for picking up a phone and saying "sell". Something is very wrong with our country, people. That jury should be hung by their private parts. I guess all those people just made this stuff up to try to punish an innocent man. The jury Forman all but said he believed Jackson was sleeping with kids. Don't be surprised when these jurors end up with surprise cash gifts from an unnamed source. After all, he paid 20 something million to the first victim, what's 12 million more at 1 million for each juror? This jury will be responsible for the next victim.
Re: Looe Key Comedy. Did they have comedy Monday? I hope I didn't miss it, or is someone just really slow? See you next Monday.
(Ed: The Comedy Zone is every other Monday. See you there.)
Re: tender pork chops. Boil them first.
History of teaching math: 

Teaching Math In 1950:  A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1960:  A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970:  A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980:  A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990:  By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you  think of this way of making a living? Topic for class prticipation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the  logger cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers.)
Teaching Math In 2005:  El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de production es...
 
And we wonder why jobs requiring intelligence are being outsourced?
Ok, I know I am a little late with this note, but what is the deal with the cross island road? I was at the meeting with a group from Big Pine who are against this and George Neugent said that they would, "drop the subject". Now I see it's on again? Who do the part-timers think they are? This road can only cause problems in my area. After all, they can't build a turn lane the right way, how are they going to put in this road witch would be of no use to those who live there? What they should do is put in traffic control lights at both ends of the island.
I can't wait to see the Moondogs on Picnic Island. Lots of sun, nice breezes, beer, couple of heifers in bikinis and hopefully Mr. Stinky Pants and the Phantom Pooper will sing their latest hit, "I Shit the Sheriff"
Hey, George. What's with the cross island road that you said would never come up again?

My out-of-town-first-time-to-the-Keys-visitors just returned from spending 2 days and nights in Key West.  Their visit to the tourist trap marketed as the Southernmost City was not quite what the Tourist Development Council ads say.  While they enjoyed a few of the attractions (Fisher museum, Hemmingway house, Butterfly Garden) they were disappointed and annoyed with being pan-handled by the bums on Duval St., being approached by another drunk bum at Southernmost Point, being treated rudely at a restaurant (Blue Heaven) and being overcharged for a drink at Mallory Square. They thought that Duval St. was just an amateur version of Bourbon Street. They said that they’ll take Big Pine over KW any day; and for their next visit they would stay on Big Pine, do a little more fishing and local cocktailing and skip KW. Big Pine is it!

I take exception to the person who wrote in and said that “Winn-Dixie blows goats”  First of all Winn-Dixie didn’t blow the goat because the goat was fresh and as everyone knows Winn-Dixie will only handle older meat nearly past its useful life.  And, as one observer noted, the goat was eating fresh veggies and Winn-Dixie never gets too close to really fresh produce.  Also, the goat was ill that day after gagging at the ammonia odor of bad fish at the seafood counter.  If that isn’t enough, the goat was English speaking having been born in this country and as anyone who has been shopping at Winn-Dixie can tell you, the language of choice isn’t English.  They do, however, have a delightful entrance where you can wade through a cloud of cigarette smoke and watch half of the employees hang on the railing while taking a much deserved break after being rude to the customers.  Now, I don’t mean to imply that Winn-Dixie doesn’t have its good points.  It’s just that they’re so hard to pick out at times.  Perhaps some of the other observers could comment?
Yard Sale. Friday & Saturday-June 17 & 18 8am until 12 noon MM 21 20872 1st Ave West Cudjoe Gardens Furniture, fishing odd and ends, paddle boat, household items, tools, cheap, gotta go.
(Ed: Due to life's foibles, we've discontinued our yard sale page. We'll print them here from now on.)


New Scam at Winn Dixie parking lot. I took this picture in NC but he has been seen heading to the Keys. Ladies beware!
I read where they're getting permits to fill in the basin at the Old Mariner Resort to better serve the community. Next they're going to fill in the swimming hole at the proposed Swimming Hole Park by the No. Pine Channel Bridge to better serve the community!
Blorg, Blorg, Blorg. We love ya' man.  Hang in. Look at my life. That should cheer your alien ass up!
It was on June 14 in 1940 that the German Army marched into Paris. The French had surrendered the city a few days earlier. There was no violence when the Nazis came in. The German soldiers marched through the Arc de triumph, while Parisians watched from the sidewalks of the Champs-Elysèes. A few weeks afterward, Hitler made a visit. He came to the Eiffel Tower and the Opera building and visited Napoleon's tomb. Hitler said, in 1941, "I'm getting ready to flatten Leningrad and Moscow without losing any peace of mind, but it would have pained me greatly if I'd had to destroy Paris."
The Governor tossed out Sorenson's smoking bill aimed at helping his friend (Sloppy Joes) Sorenson has made the Keys look like Hazard County with his antics in the state capital. The senator along with his three goofy cohorts (Nelson, McCoy and Spehar) should pack up their circus tents and move on. It's time the county started making some real progress with the sewer situation and the conservation of our natural resources. So, sit down and let Neugent and Rice take it from here.

In August Mars is going to be closer to earth than it has in over 5000 years. The Earths orbit has been catching up to Mars'.  It will be the second brightest object in the evening sky, nearly the size of a  full moon by the end of August. This is not Blorg inspired bullshit.
Thans for pointing out that Boy George and Chicken Hawk Cheney (five deferments during Viet Nam) have now scored more that 1700 American deaths in Iraq.  Does anyone know if Las Vegas is giving odds on the date that number 2000 will loose his or her life for this administration's goof up?  It might be more predictable than the lotto!

Removing a Jersey woman from your house that you found in a bar is a difficult and lengthy proposition.  Your first mistake was hugging her.  (Check yourself carefully for at least two weeks for any signs of skin eruption)  You can have the house tented but most Jerseyites are naturally resistant to any but the most caustic and vile methods of chemical removal due to their native habitat and incredibly thick hide.  One method is to remove all food, beverages and anything of value from the house thereby creating a hostile environment free from the temptation to stay.  Then, having purchased them from the K-Mart clearance table, create a trail of really cheap costume jewelry from your front door to the far side of the Seven Mile Bridge.  Be sure to sprinkle many gallons of the cheapest, most foul dollar store perfume you can find along the way.  Occasionally, drop a size 14 gold lame’ shoe and a purse the size of a Volkswagen.  These can be found at any flea market or the local charity shop.  (No need to return to pick up the junk.  It will be added to the person’s vacation wardrobe. The stench of perfume will dissipate naturally in about 6-8 years.)  Once the offending person has cleared the bridge they will, by their nature, immediately find someone else to annoy, pester, vex, disturb, bug, chafe, ruffle, agitate, perturb, upset, irk, irritate and grate on.  Your problem will be solved.






Alright, what's the story with the local alien Blorg? Is there a Dungeons and Dragons thing around as well?

Wednesday June 15, 2005

 

Tuesday June 14, 2005




Flag Day!
Dynamic Message Signs: I could not agree more. We did send a resolution of opposition to DOT. Sorry about the tardy reply - I've been out of town in Wash. D.C. --George (Big Pine's own County commissioner George Neugent. Go, George!)
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Re: Tenderizing Pork Chops.
1. A good marinade has always worked for me (but you have to pronounce it like Martha Stewart does: not "aid" but "ahhed"
2. Find an Italian like myself to jump on it repeatedly.
3. Get a favorite baseball player to run over it with his cleats a few times
4. Take it to the "Scrub Club" and ask for the dominatrix treatment toward your chop...
5. Become one with the chop and convince it that tender is it's destiny.
6. Have Mike Tyson, no maybe Sylvester Stallone...nah not him either...find a good boxer and have him beat the chop silly. (I beat my chop silly sometimes.)
7. Have local Alien "Blorg" talk until the chop submits.
8. Strategically set your chop at the entrance to a local bar and put a sign outside announcing free drinks all night!
9. Find a bar full of drunken Irishmen playing darts and initiate some type of incentive for them in some strange game of cricket with a pork theme (hell they're drunk they won't care.)
10. Tie Chop to blade of Mercury 225 outboard propeller, this may not tenderize the chop but it sounds like a hell of a lot of fun. (Might scare the hell out of the chop too.)
11. Leave the chop alone in the kitchen, but before you do, talk to your friend on the phone so as the chop can overhear you; and tell him that you just scored some high quality Columbian blow...then cleverly leave a baggie in sight of the chop but fill it with Adolph's Meat Tenderizer. When you return the bag will be a little lighter and the chop will actually want to perform for you. 
12. Coat Chop with Cayenne pepper and dangle it at the gator at the blue hole. He will bite it but be repulsed by the pepper. Repeat this process until some idiot comes to try to feed him in earnest or chop is tender...whichever comes first.
13. Label the chop "Liberal" and post it to this site. The conservatives will tenderize the chop with rhetoric.
and last but not least...(applause heard all over Big Pine and adjacent islands)
14. Give chop to small child and tell them " take care of this...it is very important."
Underseas Dive Shop.  I read all the postings about the shop a couple of months ago and how concerned about the environment they are; I got gas today at Tom Thumb and I see that their Brazilian Peppers are still there, even though it has been pointed out to them what damage they are doing. Those trees look like they have been getting fertilizer they are so healthy. I'm sure they are doing what they are doing for the shade, but it is still not right.
The Boondocks still puts all the other local bars to shame. Does stinky pants hang out at H.O.M. because they have their own stink issue, maybe he is their problem.
Re: pork chops. Cook them very slow and covered makes them very tender.
Iraq. 1 private contractor (read security) for every six military. They are trying to keep the cost down by hiring private contractors at about $6,000 a month instead of our military at about $15 a day.
What kind of Bozo acts proud of pooping his pants? Are you that much of a drunk; and do you really believe that we all have done it? I'm glad they kicked you out of the Boondocks, the other bars should be as smart.


15 fun questions that show how you stack up against the rest of Americans.
Hey, what is happening here? A whole day gone by and not a single gripe about Winn Dixie. I'll kick it off again, here goes: "Winn Dixie blows goats". Now I feel a little better. Maybe I'll hug a person from NJ, or that teenage druggie who thinks he/she is from outer space. Quien Sabe?
Stinky Pants
There once was an old guy named Dinky
Who had a penis the size of his Pinky
He went to the bar
But he didn't get far
He crapped himself
Now he's called Stinky
I an soooo good looking!
Who writes in with those one liners on psycho kinesis and such, they're great. I feel like the comic Steven Wright is overseeing this. Thanks.  Some are hysterical.








No. Who does not take the yard sale signs down. Who's on 1st.
Hey Poopie Pants, Why don't you clean yourself up, brush your tooth, and make yourself real nice and purty and try finding yourself a good quality blow up doll. Then you can make her fat or skinny and she'll only say what YOU want her to say. Just be careful. If you bite them too hard, they'll fart and fly out the window on you. Oh, that's right...you like that stuff. Seems like a good fit to me.
U.S. military casualties had passed the 1,700 mark in Iraq.
Getting sprayed by the mosquito truck will give you something worse than a rash. Try cancer.



Michael Jackson acquitted
. Maybe now we can cover some real news
Cuban rafters. I agree the innovative cars, trucks and taxies that have been turned into boats should be preserved.  Perhaps the U.S. is too embarrassed to create a museum.
I heard a rumor that the Moondogs are updating their repertoire to include Hip-hop. They want to play current hits by R. Kelly, 50 cents and Li'l John. I wish them well, but I am not sure if this type of music will go over well in the Keys. Not a whole lot of soul folks down here. Maybe they should focus on Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn, and singers who wear those dumb-looking black hats.
This is a local link dedicated to a dog for dog things.
Animals are worth it

The source of the large Brown Rectal Eel at Marvin Key was the entity known as the Phantom Crapper.  The Phantom appears suddenly and without warning when numerous people gather to eat, drink and be Mary (oops, I mean merry) while wading chest deep in warm tropical waters.  A careful observer can usually spot the Phantom standing rudely upstream from a gathering of otherwise unaware people with a look of mild relief and serene satisfaction on his face.  Care should be taken to avoid unexpected contact with the Phantom who has also appeared at Tarpon Belly, Snipe, Sand Key, Sawyer and a number of other locations.  Short people should take extra precautions.

I tried hugging a woman from NJ  that I met in a local bar, but I could only get my arms about half way around her. She did, however, appreciate the gesture. Now how do I get her the hell out of my house?
Big Pine Seven sighting. Jennifer, the bartender at Conch & Stein.
Piners seem to be very content with poop subjects.
Anybody else having a hard time getting their shutters from Habitat for Humanity? We were told that we were approved several months ago. At that time we requested an estimate to upgrade to accordion shutters, as my husband is getting older now and ladders are not going to be a possibility in the future years. Chuck has done nothing but put-off the project from day one. He claims he'll call back with the info and never ever does. After two months and hundreds of phone calls I'm beginning to doubt we'll ever see the shutters. Such a great organization, too bad they have such a scattered guy as project manager, he could write the book on excuses.
Chip, you presented a great comedy show at the Looe Key Tiki Bar on Monday night. The best two hours spent in a long time. The laughter kept coming the entire night. Thanks a lot for what you are doing to make it better! When my sister comes down in 10 days, we are going to be there again!
Whatever happened to the Moondogs playing at Picnic Island on the 4th of July? I'll go. I'll even help with the equipment on my boat.
Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.
Message to commander Phlarg from Rocky Jones of the Space Patrol.  Tampering with  primitives such as the Earthlings is forbidden by sec,#$%^&*&^%$#%^^*& of the Interplanetary developmental code. You and Blorg are in a heap of trouble. Cease and desist at once. You can achieve very tender pork chops by cooking them all day in a crock pot.

Tuesday June 14, 2005

 

Monday June 13, 2005




Who takes the old yard sale signs from the pole? I've always wondered who did it.

Re: Trucker's view. Will giant signs really help on a two-lane road? Make things safer? Can the huge sign predict an a-hole like Darren Bell? All a big ol' sign can do is say, "Traffic Ahead...smoke 'em if you got 'em". Sir, you may want to just keep on truckin' and leave the thinking to the 99.9% non-rig haulin' Piners that spend more time here than back & forth to the mainland.




Chef on South Park sings a song called "Stinky Britches", only I think it pertains to hot women, and not a guy who is excrementally challenged. Old Mud-butt from Boondocks doesn't rate a song, or anything else for that matter.
If you happen to get caught outside when the mosquito truck went by could it give you a rash?

Pork chops. Does anyone know how to make tender pork chops. I'm not asking for recipes. I have plenty of those. I'm looking for a cooking method to make them tender. Do any of you know any good techniques?

I read in the Keynoter something about a Jewfish attacking a diver. Has the ACLU been notified? I am sure the redneck diver was hurling racial insults at the fish. It probably was a Palestinian diver.

Movie Review: I watched the movie The Blob with Donna Reed wearing the most sexless 1950's yellow and white plaid outfit. The collarless neckline fit tight around her throat with a very narrow yellow and white plaid bow tie pinned to the front. Short sleeves and 6 decorative matching plaid buttons went down the front.  A full, pleated matching skirt worn over a couple of crinolines completed this puke inducing 50's fashion. 

Steve McQueen was cool in The Blob. He wasn't as popular as James Dean, though. If James Dean was on the screen, you had to watch him. He had a compelling image. I think James Dean's bi-sexuality was the reason he was so attractive. If you were locked in a closet forever with James Dean you could learn love him, but in the same closet with Steve McQueen you know you'd just be bored. Steve was a real man, but Dean was more popular.

Innovated immigrants? Come on, people from all generations have moved here from other destitute countries, yet they have learned the language and have not been given what the recent innovated immigrants are given in money and support.  Your parents or their parents moved here from BFE(?) and all learned the language and how to support themselves without any handouts. Why should BellSouth ask me if I want English or Spanish? It should not be an option--even if you are innovated.


June 12 was the birthday of Anne Frank, born in Frankfurt, Germany (1929). On this day in 1942, her 13th birthday, she received a diary as a birthday present
Mosquito Control was spraying here 30 years ago with about the same results they achieve today. Larvaciding works. Individuals getting rid of standing water works. There are more innovative ways to control mosquitoes than are being used by this county. Try going out to take a pee tonight. Development kicked off with the rebuilding of the seven mile bridge.
The Cow Palace in Pasadena, Calif. is where I saw Led Zepplin on their first US tour in the early '70's. They were great. They didn't talk at all, just played. Orange Sunshine helped to further my enjoyment. The Greatful Dead was their opening act.
Re: Cuban taxi/boat. These car/boats sound like museum pieces.  Somebody should be collecting them!  I've been to plenty of bars and restaurants with stranger stuff hanging off the walls.
What is Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen doing about those unwanted, inappropriate Dynamic Signs? Does anybody know? We can't hear you! Go figure government officials. It's okay to make Duck Key into an over the top, way overdeveloped development so what's a few metal, in your face, oh shucks, so much for that sunset shot honey, signs? Can somebody please superimpose a shot of a Florida Keys sunset with one of those ridiculous signs in the foreground? Nothing like a visual.
It's true that there is a Cow Palace in San Francisco, but there is also one on Ramrod Key-complete with Heifers and clowns. Yeehaw!


Can't we all just get along?
I don't mind being poisoned by the mosquito stuff, it beats being miserable. There were over sixty mosquitos on my bed room screen this morning. Come poison me!
The Cow Palace in San Francisco isn't just limited to rodeos. They have had some great rock concerts there.  I saw the Stones play at  that venue back in 1980, and the Doobies in the 90's. The local Cow Palace, however, located on a Key that rhymes with cram-bod, is an entirely different story. 

This guy that is eliminating cats obviously has something against pussies. He is probably a closet gay. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Re: Huricane shutters. I know somebody that does them at a reasonable price. Please contact me at palmweaver1@juno.com  and leave your phone number.
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
Homeland Security is watching you at: http://users.chartertn.net/tonytemplin/FBI_eyes/
Message to Blorg from commander Phlarg from the planet Valiumenus. I speak to you in Earth English because you could not understand the complex language of the Valiumerians. We have a substance which will guide you through your troubled times with Earthling known as B. Surly. It will make you so freaking calm you can stick your arm in the oven and keep it there for a while. It will give a feeling of well being to those around you also as it will slow your speech faculties.  Tell Mr. Surly that we love him on our planet. We know there is good in him.
It was very nice to see someone recognize the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous.  It is a great group that has helped a lot of people.  I hope that one day Jolly Roger Estates' Cadillac Lady will find her way to a meeting.  Anyone who walks the streets of Jolly Roger knows she needs it.

Re: Be Nice To New Jersey Day:  I thought I would do as the writer suggested and be nice to a New Jerseyite and give one a hug.  Next thing I new I couldn’t find my wallet and developed a nasty rash.

For all of you wanting the Mr. Stinky Pants experience, try this. Eat lots of beans and sauerkraut. Wait two hours. Heat a can of Hormel chili to body temperature, then dump down the back of your pants. Now let a big fart and fall off your bar stool. There, you've done it! You are now a Mr. Stinky Pants Fan Club Member.

Re: Golf game link. Thanks to someone for the putt putt golf game, I have gone from somewhat unproductive to completely nonproductive. I love it but the 18th hole just sucks ass. It might be the only mini golf around these parts for years, huh?  Send more stuff that I can rest most of my neurons and keep them from firing.
I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

Monday June 13, 2005

 

Sunday June 12, 2005

As for the Cuban car/boat guy "kudos"  he finally almost made it on his third ingenious contraption. Only he and his immediate  family were allowed to stay in the U.S.  He had applied for and recieved legal immigration papers, but Cuban authorities wouldn't let him leave. Innovative immigrants have made this country what it is. 
Thumbs down to the president of the Big Pine and Lower Keys Chamber of Commerce who decided not to offer the free entry to next years tournament prize ADVERTISED on the raffle information.  It has been one of the reason people purchase the raffle tickets.  I felt this was very unfair and should not have been taken off the list at his discretion without letting the buyers beware he was removing this.
Can anyone recommend a company that installs those automatic or crank down hurricane shutters?
About the message boards. Why do they (DOT) want them up so bad? because every one of those boards, all 13 of them. will have a state of the art camera on it. so "big brother" can make sure you're all being good little boys and girls.
A truckers' view. Hold on, already about the Dynamic Signs and any other improvement to US1 that could allow me to live another 10-20 yrs. See, I drive to the mainland and back daily. I lived in the Keys my whole life. I know more than any newly relocated (30yrs or less) Yankee just how damn dangerous that road is. All you tree-hugging enviro-nazis have already cost enough lives fighting  US1 improvements. Leave US1 to the big people, already. Four lane and signs to Miami. Stop the murders already!
Those Cubans in the taxi boat should become American citizens just for their creativity and the the fact it is their 2nd failed attempt. We could send some liberals on the taxi boat back to Cuba in their place. That's only FARE! (Get it?)

If you like to golf, but are too lazy, try this fun game. Putt Putt Golf Game
I don't appreciate all you morons and overweight heifers calling me stinky pants. Every one of you at one time or another in your life has filled your pants. Some of you even did it in church. If any of you can think of a better way out of my problem that night, I would love to hear it. Moo.
If you are concerned about restaurant sanitation standards, visit www.Myfloridalicense.com   Under the heading of Public Services, click on Search for Inspections.  That will take you to a page that asks you to Select Search Type.  Check  Search by City or County.  On the next page the Division type will be: Division of Hotels and Restaurants;  License type will be: Permanent Food Service;  Select Monroe in the county drop down box; Type in the Key name; finally, the Special Qualification will be: Seating.  Very interesting stuff!
I prefer Ruebenesque to heifer, although I'm neither.


 

Mr. Stinky Pants

Type: Shooter
Ingredients:
1 oz. Vodka
1/2 oz. Pickle Juice
1 glass of Beer

Instructions:
Pour the vodka and the juice in a shot glass, shoot and chase with the beer. This one hurts...bad.

Stop the mosquito spraying and everyone will go back to New Jersey, then the Keys will be like they were.
What's the difference in a BPK Women and cop cars? Well,it takes 2 cop cars to block the road!
I agree with living here in paradise, not what the fools and animal haters say. Live and let live and quit trying to kill lesser living creatures. You better start looking over your shoulder because, you too could become a target, you are in my book if you kill and enjoy destroying nature's creatures. Oh please, "cat prints on your car", or even scratches? Try following the landfill trucks and see what you get. Also, ride any day out here on the roads and see what happens to your "cruiser". Get real. How many teeth do you have?

The Cow Palace? Isn't that in San Francisco where they give rodeos with heifer riding?
I have something to say to those that want to kill cat, iguanas, dogs, deer, whatever. Think about what is coming your way, you are bitching about little things and the mainland is coming upon us.
True Value is sold, CVS is buying the corner of Century 21 and where Coconuts is, Walgreens owns old Scotty's and CVS building now, they are going to widen US1 and make it "scenic." Get real will you and stop wanting to wipe out the "natural" things and keep the mainland "element" from invading us.
If you have not lived her 30 years or more, keep your mouth shut and help us stay the way we all loved when we moved here.
Do you know how many delivery trucks Wal-Mart sees in a day? Imagine all those suckers clogging up US 1? I dig the flea market and would hate to see that monstrosity in it's place. Some more fast facts about the devil retailer... Long winded tome
All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

Re: Computer repair. You can Call Carl Aufrecht at 872-9754. He is the most intelligent man when it comes to electronics and computers. Tell him his daughter sent you.
Dynamic Road Signs. What an incredibly pathetic state our country is in when we have to to install monstrous signs to inform us that another child has been taken. Talk about putting a Band-aid on the symptom instead of fixing the problem. Sex offenders need harsher sentences like life imprisonment. We don't need obnoxious signs to inform us. Cell phone technology, the radio (how come they don't use the emergency system) and other media should be enough. Can you imagine the number of accidents just because people are trying to read those signs? So, how many of you have taken a quick moment to fax or email DOT? Sonny McCoy, you've been here in the Keys forever, don't let us down.
(Ed: Sonny Mc Coy was the first politico to respond that he had already notified DOT of his disapproval. Thanks, Sonny.)
Poison spraying. Naldacon (deadly poison). Being here 30 years I do my research. While it is true that the corncob larvaciding works and is being used here, Naled AKA Dibrom is being used here on a regular basis. Yes, it is outdated and it is toxic to people and the environment. The only difference between now and 20 years ago is that Naled is no longer mixed with diesel fuel, but sprayed straight. You can watch the fireflies drop to the ground. In less than 94 hours you no longer hear frogs. The dragon flies are being killed and it takes up to three years for them to stabilize. Remember the crickets? The Miami Blue butterfly is gone except for two places in the Keys. The environmental chain is being broken. It is all about money. Health problems from the spraying are rampant in the Keys. Many places in the United States no longer use our methods as they have been proven to not work well and cause too many problems. Anyone aged, with an immune deficiency or children are especially at risk.
Let's put one of those proposed highway road signs out at Marvin Key. It could be used to warn people about floaters.






Pigs in Paradise
sounds like happy hour at a local bar.
Did you ever notice that some New Jersey people sort of look like those concrete lane barriers? Wide at the bottom and ugly. Let's keep them up North.
I have discovered something a little disturbing about some of the full-figured women at Boondocks. I have noticed that many of them had a similar tattoo on the small of their backs. Well, last night, I looked a little closer and saw that the tattoo was actually a brand. What the hell is going on down here? Is Hoss Cartright involved?
Re: Computer repair. Not a good one, but a great one on Duck Ave., Key West. Computer Nation. Fair prices and great work.
Grammar Police. Ok people. You don't use an apostrophe simply to show that there's more than one of something.  Did you skip school in  third grade on that day?





Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

To the Cuban Car Boat person. I myself am going to move to Cuba and only speak English. What a concept, huh?

Sunday June 12, 2005

 

Saturday June 11, 2005

Re: Dynamic Message Signs. I agree with you without a question!  In my opinion they would create more than blight, they would cause accidents because the driver's eye is diverted from the road.

Thank you for taking the time to send your opinion, --Dixie M. Spehar

What happened to our peaceful paradise? I see more evil people from up north buying homes here and wanting to kill all the animals that were here long before they got here. We never complained about anything, especially our furry friends on Big Pine. I have lived on Big Pine 30 years and welcome all the deer and cats and turtles you people all run over for fun. Well, karma will get you. Laugh all you want when you kill an animal. You're going to get yours, just wait. If you can't handle living in a peaceful environment, get out.  

Re: Spraying for mosquitos should be stopped. I don't think the writer of that post has lived here very long. About 30 years ago, I lived in a cabin in the woods and after dark I could not go outside even to pee. The mosquitos would cover my body. You can only know I'm telling the truth if you've experienced the Keys before the spraying. That's why development only started when they got the mosquitos under control.

Does anyone know a good computer repair shop around here.
Re: Dynamic Message Signs. Dear Government Officials, Dynamic Message Signs have their place in the world of highway safety. But when there is ONLY ONE ROAD TO TRAVEL ON; these signs are worthless. Whether I find out about a traffic situation via brake lights, radio traffic report or a huge unnecessary traffic sign I'm going to wait in line until everything is cleared up. It's not like there is an alternate routes down here. There is no necessity for this and it is a blatant waste of money. Route one might be just another highway to you, but it is our front yard and our local backstreet to work. Please don't put these signs up in the Keys. You can find a better location on another highway where they will actually make a difference. Thank you for your time.
Patriotic rock music at:  Freedom*Rock (In Rural Iowa)
Re: Dynamic Message Signs. I say no signs as well. King Kilo and Blorg are very against the proposed signage, but the place where they work as a front (so as to be undetected as aliens) is starting to look a little like the Las Vegas strip. Hey, I did skywriting once!
Problem cat's, people, deer, iguanas, supermarkets, bars, drugstores, restaurants, pizzas, heifers, New Jerseyins, drivers, gas prices, Christians, Cubans. Is there anything that actually makes you people happy? Did the whole town miss class the day they taught you to "Love thy neighbor"?

Re: Big Pine Laundry. Did it ever occur to you to stuff her in a dryer and watch her go round and round. And then call the owner or police for stealing your money.
Re: dynamic message signs. Finally a clue to the editors' identity, but does Ms. mean you are single? Also, someone should tell Sonny Mc Coy that it will probably take a lot more than simply voicing your displeasure. We expect action now , not when it's too late.
In response to "stinky pants" at Boondocks. Now you can easily give yourself a Dirty Sanchez, and give one to everybody else in the place. 
Let me get this straight. When I go to a local watering hole (rhymes with Moonrocks) I need to only try to score with Reubenesque women because they are more likely to be disease free? You have got to be kidding. All the thin, athletic, in-shape women down here should be insulted by that remark, and ought to give you a severe tongue-lashing. But don't worry, they will never run into you; they don't hang out at the Cow Palace. Fo shizzle, nizzle.
Re: accidents on bridges. We don't want the Keys to look like New Jersey. We don't have concrete barriers between lanes just so when we see a car from New Jersey we can cross into their lane and hopefully scare them back to New Jersey.

I did hear about the Wal-mart going in where the Flea Market is now, but I heard the Little Donut Wagon is refusing to give up their spot so the whole thing is falling through!
Got another cat last night. I think there's one more on this street. Now who's going to pay for the scratches on my hood?
Re: Comedy Night at Looe Key Tiki,  the reason you were charged $5 is because you came in after 7pm.  They charge $3 before 7--so get there early.



No reason to kill the birds, the cats already have.
It could be the same stinky pants guy from Boondocks that squeezed out the floater at Marvin Key!
Dolphin tournament last weekend was great as usual. The food was excellent! Once again Pigs in Paradise did a great job. Why didn't the Chamber mention them?
Shopping Locally. What a nice experience I had with Land & Sea Drapery. I dug deep and now enjoy the most beautiful drapes with black-out linings which were custom made by Bonita; and her husband very kindly installed them. This increases my home value and makes the master suite so romantic. Plus, they have the sweetest dog. Thanks a Million!

Peroxide rots your brain
.  I should know - the dumbest blond in the world lives next to me. 
Does anybody in the Avenues, besides me, know that it is illegal for more than one car to be in an intersection at a time. It is so dangerous to turn off US1 and have 2, 3, even 4 cars sitting in the middle of 1st Avenue waiting for the car in front of them to turn onto US1. Any vehicle turning off US1 has the right of way. If you are at a stop sign you MUST yield to traffic turning off of the highway! Don't put yourself and other people in danger because you want to be first in line.
To the cat problem on your car. Rubber snakes or mouse traps.
I agree that the Monroe County Sheriff's office daily arrest web site has photos of folks that look really like losers, but in the spirit of One Human Family, let's not jump to conclusions. Maybe the photographer for Monroe County just doesn't know how to take a good picture. We should get a portrait specialist in there and see if he can improve on these folk's images. Now how about a group hug?  And, yes, I do read the New York Times. Arrest Record
Re: Boondocks, why don’t they advertise here? Well, these days, there’sno need, obviously. The owners are too cheap, anyway. Measure pour drinks and half-ass food. As for the heifer comments, keep it up! Hilarious. To the swine that doesn’t like them: Don’t be so insecure. Go work out or something.
You who are complaining to about having to have a light on your bike? Are you afraid of following the law? Do you think it is right for a person to drive a car without their lights on at night? Whether you believe it or not, a bicycle is a vehicle and must follow ALL the traffic laws a car has to follow. Including lights on at night. It is about time people are stopped for no lights. You can't be seen when you are on a bike without lights! That law is for your own safety. How about the innocent person that slams into you because you are invisible without the lights at night. I ride all the time and have a flasher at night on my butt and a headlight for the front. Find something else to complain about.
I read that the Cubans from the car boat are being allowed to stay. What do you readers think about that?
Re: Dynamic Message Signs. What ignoramus at DOT thought those monstrously huge, ugly signs would be appropriate in the Keys.  What morons.  Why is it that we have to have instantaneous information thrown at us constantly? Cell phones are bad enough.  The radio works just fine to keep us informed.  Let's get real riled up folks and stop this!  Fax the DOT, Jose Abreu, Secretary of Transportation at 850-414-5201 or email olivia.youse@dot.state.fl.us   Let's bombard them folks.


Re: Dynamic Message Signs. Murray E. Nelson is on board!
The best way to avoid floating human turds at the beach is to provide bathrooms and showers at all the beaches. By the way. Sharks are attracted to turds; a sure sign of prey. But then, if you spend the day on a boat and need to go, what else can you do?
I just love this web site! You people make the Citizen's Voice read like the Washington Journal.
Message signs are good for "Amber Alerts". If it were your child that was abducted, you would appreciate the message signs. In Atlanta, some roads change traffic direction at different hours- very dangerous in my book. Atlanta is an example of how NOT to run things.

Re: Laundromat grouch. Trust me, your experience wasn’t unusual. A couple days ago, she snarled and growled at me when I needed quarters for the machines.  Never a dull moment in the Keys.









You folks getting wet yet?  It seems odd to check the webcam and see the clouds flying faster than the flag.
A cool baseball game. Pepsi World
I figured the Monroe County Arrest Record was the dating pool for the Keys. Arrest Record
Those damn greedy doctors. An article in the Citizen tells how some doctors will quit
offering service at the e.r. because they don't get enough money.$125 is more than most of your patients make in a day. Now you have your own practice rolling in big bucks (we all know how outrageous med. costs are),but you want a piece of the hospital's profit too. Will you chip in to buy new equiptment for the hospital? I didn't think so. People used to choose that profession because they cared about helping others.
June 10 It's the anniversary of the establishment of Alcoholics Anonymous, (1935) in Akron, Ohio. It was founded by a stockbroker named Bill Wilson and a surgeon, Bob Smith, who found that the best way to keep from drinking was to spend time with other people who were trying to keep from drinking. Between the two of them, they developed the main traditions of AA: anonymity, confession, and mutual support.

Alcoholics Anonymous grew rapidly in the '40s and '50s, but Bill Wilson refused to appear on the cover of Time, wouldn't accept an honorary degree from Yale, because believed in anonymity, and he stuck with it to the end.
Evidently the person at the BPK Laundromat needs some lessons in customer service. I would try to find out the telephone number of the owner and complain.  They owe you at least a free wash or $10 back. Washing clothes there is very expensive, but if you don't have a washer
at home you are forced to go there.



Stinky Pants
, thanks for clearing your situation up for all of us. Now we all understand why you fell off the barstool and shat yourself. I mean, I'm sure all of us would have done the same exact thing if we were in your situation. What else could you do? Oh, by the way, she didn't say she was going to 'kidnap' you, she said that she was going to 'bitchslap' you!

Saturday June 11, 2005

 

Friday June 10, 2005

(Ed: We sent this to all our state lawmakers yesterday. I hope it works.)

 

 

 

Re: Dynamic message signs.
 
Dear Sirs and Madam,
Please do not change our scenic highway by putting those horrible message signs on US-1 in the Keys. The existing signs are all right up the Keys because that area has already been developed. We’ve all been trying for years to preserve this almost pristine area of Florida and those signs are unnecessary and out of place.

27,000 people a month, who are all concerned with the Lower Keys, read the Kudos and Whiners gossip column on the Big Pine Key website. This is the daily rumor mill for the Lower Keys. We’d like to print your comment about placing these signs down here. Please take a moment to write a few words for the column. We’d love to hear from you anytime you’d like.  

Thank You,
Ms. Xx Xxxxxx, President
BigPineKey.com

(Ed: Sonny McCoy was the first to respond):
Dynamic message signs
We have already expressed our displeasure to the "DOT", Department of Transportation.
Sincerely,
"Sonny" Mc Coy
Commissioner
BOCC District 3
Cats love to walk on cars, especially nice freshly cleaned ones.  Don't wash  it so much. They won't walk on a car unless they can make tracks.
An amazing thing happened to me at the Big Pine Laundromat.  I went to purchase some soap and there was no one in sight, I walked to the back and said "HELLO."    The next thing I knew an outraged lady came running out saying she was in the bathroom. I tried to apologize, but she would have none of it and just got more abrasive.  I put $5.00 in the machines and went for lunch, on my return both lids were open and I was out of time and cloths un-washed.  I put another $5.00 in the machine and stepped out to make a call.  When I came back in, the machines were dead and the deranged lady walked by and smirked at me!
 
I realize she was probably having a bad day, but it cost me an extra $10.00 and an extra hour to get my cloths clean.
Thank you to the person who called the Health dept. on W-D. It is unfortunate the new manager of the store does not take an interest in the store. His lack of managerial skills are quite evident in the lax attitude of some of the employees. Let's hope this was a wake up call. P.S. W-D is not hell,  but it is the hub of BPK. 
Did anyone else hear about the new Wal-Mart superstore going in where the flea market is?
We also had a problem with cats on our car. However, it is a convertible and darn near impossible to get the hair off it without washing it every day. Here is what we did:
 
We wrote a letter to the neighbor and told them that we were going to get cages, trap the cats and turn them over to the animal center on Industrial Rd.  The neighbors were very nice about it and promised to keep their cats in and offered to buy a cover for our car. It was their cat, but then another one came in and we did get traps (buy them at Coconuts or rent them from the animal control center) but this cat was very wise and would not enter the trap, however it did disappear a couple of weeks later (not my doing). I would not hurt any animal, but if you cannot control your animals, I will take the necessary steps to do it for you without harm, and if you really care about it, you can go pay the fine to get it back. Bet you will take better care of it then, but I doubt that you would really care or you would have taken care of it in the first place.  By the way, the cats were also entering my boat, clawing their way through my enclosure to be warm in cold weather, leaving cat hair everywhere, and sleeping on my patio furniture.  C'mon people why do I have to spend my time and money to take care of your lousy cat?
Wouldn't it be nice to have more kudos on this site than whiners, pretty soon we are going to be known as Big Whine Key.
Re: Accidents on bridges.  One thing that NJ did that we should consider is placing concrete embankments on the center line on all bridges in the Keys.  There would be no passing zones, and if someone was passing out from drugs or alcohol he/she would not cross over into your lane to kill you.  In fact NJ did it along an entire highway that was the most dangerous one in the state.  It scares me that when I am on a bridge and if I do see a car/tractor trailer (yikes) crossing over into my lane, there is nowhere to go. My wife had to stop dead on the 7 mile bridge twice to avoid cars passing and crossing over into her lane when she worked in Marathon daily.
I walked out to my car this morning and found bird crap on it. Lets kill all the birds!
Re: DOT signs. Why so big? The reason they're so large on regular highways is so people can see them from a far distance at 65mph. No need on Rte 1 through the Keys. You could have a 6X6 ft message board on Rte 1 and it still could be easily read. Those things are an eyesore and everybody should write and call to put a stop to the madness.

I want to know who's fat-pocketed buddies sold these to the DOT execs. The Keys were not clamoring for giant signs, so why are they forcing them down our throats? Surplus. Got to put them somewhere. Anywhere. I know somebody's making money off this. (Here's a little info on the cost.) www.ite.org/conference/papers/CB05B110-2.pdf

RE: Cat haters. How sad that some people go to the trouble to turn on the computer, get on-line, type, and send a post whining about hating cats and what to do to get rid of them. If that is all you have to worry about, be thankful. I have a very close relative that was perfectly healthy until March when she went to the doctor complaining of a sore throat. She is now fighting for her life with virtually no hope due to a form of extremely painful cancer that is spreading rapidly through her entire body. Why not appreciate what you have, be a little more compassionate to the animals, stop whining about the small stuff and enjoy every day as it is your last. If you decide to take matters in your hands and do something to the cats that are walking on your precious vehicle, I hope that you get caught and end up in jail. Now, there is something to whine about.
Another Mitch Hedberg Friday...

I think Pringles' initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "F**k it. Cut em up."

So, I sit at the hotel at night and I think of something that's funny. Or, If the pen is too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn't funny.

You know that Pepperidge Farm bread... that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.

I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying.

I saw a human pyramid once. It was totally unnecessary.

This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... It's dirty.

The thing about tennis is: no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're f**king relentless.

My friend was walking down the street and he said, "I hear music." As if there is any other way of taking it in. I tried to taste it, but it did not work

On a traffic light yellow means yield, and green means go. On a banana, it's just the opposite. Yellow means go ahead, green means stop, and red means, "where'd you get that banana?"
The new form of mosquito pesticide is actually not a pesticide at all. The choppers  are dropping ground corn cob that is soaked in this natural biological material that stops the mosquito's ability to dry it's shell when it hatches. Therefore it can't fly and dies.
Anybody that has lived here for years knows that the mosquito situation is way better than it was many years ago when they used to spray naldacon (deadly pesticide) on our children early in the morning while they were waiting for the bus. Nobody complained about that. We had no birds then chirping in the morning. I have seen more crab spiders this last year than I have seen in years. They were everywhere  about a month ago. I haven't walked in the woods since then. I haven't seen the giant orb spiders in years so their disappearance on Big Pine isn't new. (That is the name of the banana spiders) .

I know that all of you that complain about the way it is here without knowledge of how it was, could do whatever you complain about better that it is being done now. That's a given by the intelligence proven by your writing here on this website.
I just ask that you all do a little research before you start blowing your all intelligent blind spew out for all of us to read.

And beware, with all the rain we are having now, the mosquitoes are really going to be out in force in a few days. They don't spray all the poisonous chemicals as freely as they used to because they were found out to be harmful to our delicate environment and ourselves. Be happy you can walk from your car to your front door without being carried away as it was 20 plus years ago.
I'm a local, native, and year round resident of Surf City, on Long Beach Island, New Jersey.  We locals on the Island are very skeptical about the alleged shark "attack"  sensationalized by the national media. I think it was a bluefish, frankly. The surprise taste of a mainland surfer is not appealing, and that's all it was, a case of mistaken identity. At best, it might have been a brown shark. The mass media needs some new "shark" news on the anniversary of the release of "Jaws" and the beginning of the shoobie season here at the Jersey Shore.  Hey, the "negative" publicity will probably send the local economy to an even higher high.  Just spell and showcase the borough's name correctly for 15 seconds in the spotlight of shark week.
 
Don't be gullible and easily-influenced by hyped reports, and I'll be willing to excuse your stereotyped trash flames about New Jersey and those of us who share an affinity for coastal living.  Perhaps I'll even return again this winter to observe the many pseudo-Conchs and pretenders that your island harbors.
I have been reading this site lately and I am very disappointed.  I lived in Big Pine for over 3 years and recently moved back to the main land.  Reading this site is not the Big Pine I love and wish to come home to.  We loved our neighbors when I lived there and that was very recent.  And if we didn't love our neighbors we just told them so and worked it out. If I was an outsider hitting this site I would think this was a town full of small town petty bull sh**.  But I know better so I think this is a ploy to keep others out of this great town.  I miss you all so much. 
Does anyone else check out the Monroe County Sheriff's office daily arrest web site?  What a sorry group of thieves, drunks, druggies, fugitives, and  low lifes.  Is this the sub-human family of leeches we really want to keep in the Keys just because the county has historically been a haven for these types?  I'd rather see the rich land owner types invade the Keys than have these smelly, unshaven, dirt ball types in my neighborhood. Arrest Record
Last month the Times of London printed "smoking gun" evidence that long before the invasion of Iraq the Bush administration was determined to go to war, intentionally distorting intelligence, and lying to the American people.

The proof comes from the classified minutes of a British cabinet meeting, referred to as the "Downing Street Memo." So far President Bush has refused to explain or directly respond to the memo, but pressure is mounting daily from Congress and the public. This week Tony Blair visited Washington and the press finally started asking the obvious questions—creating a critical opportunity to turn up the heat.

Re: True Value. According to the owners, it has been sold to Homeland Security for a detention center.  Just what we need in our back door.


All spraying for mosquitos should be stopped. I saw two birds that looked drugged laying on the ground the day after the truck went through. If its poisoning them, Its poisoning us. Four different people on my block have gotten cancer also, think there's a link? If you don't like mosquitos, move, this is the sub tropics after all.
Anybody consider the fact that Darren Bell is probably in the hospital and won't get booked until he's taken to the jail?
To the jerk who keeps writing about the so called "Heifers" at Boondocks I have two words: "GROW UP".  You obviously had a bad experience with a woman you met at Boondocks.  Weather she was right or wrong and you were right or wrong, why would you categorize an entire group over one bad experience?  When your looking for your dream date and want overly thin just remember, one of the most obvious sign of AIDS is rapid weight loss and being bone thin.  Still want to do that skinny bimbo?  I'll take all the "Heifers" and live.
Re: Alligators. Last June, coming home from Key West at about 4 a.m., I was quite surprised to have a large gator run across the road on Cudjoe by the Sheriffs office. We had to slam on the brakes to avoid it. They are actually saltwater crocodiles and it is breading season. Also, don't leave your pets on a leash at night.
Re: Darren Bell. When charges are pending, it could take 8-10 months before actual charges are filed, so looking for his picture everyday might take awhile.
Did you notice that when there is a shark attack in New Jersey they always spit them back out?
Re: Christians. If you even have to ask then you definitely wouldn't understand.
Re once upon a time at Marvin Key: It was probably someone's kid that pinched off a big one and sent it out to sea through the areas of people swimming. I guess we should keep all the kids and dogs off the island so we can drink our beer and swim around without bumping into a brown trout. It's the damn teenagers running around in their daddy's boats drinking and running full throttle through the swimmers at Snipe Point that you should be bitching about. Keep your whiney comments to yourself or eat one of those little floaters!


Doesn't stinky pants realize that all the advertising he gives the Boondocks only helps them, after all they don't pay a dime to advertise here, but yet the Boondocks is mentioned more than any paid advertiser. Dude I think your plan to ruin that bar backfired on you.
(Ed: If anyone knows the owners of Boondocks would you ask them why they won't support this site? We support them.)
The only reason I messed my pants and fell off the bar stool at Boondocks was this big ole heifer told me she was going to wait outside and kidnap me when I left. The things she was going to do to me sounded like testimony from the Michael Jackson trial. I had no choice but to think up an escape plan, and that was it, so back off you oinker.
Re: Looe Key Comedy Night. It was great and worth every dollar, however we were charged $5. not $3.  Was this the doorman's commission? What's up?
I have noticed the lack of spiders also, but I noticed them missing after Hurricane Georges, and attributed it to the decimation of trees in the yard. We had hundreds of them before, and used to feed the Banana Spiders all the cockroaches we could, they loved them! I used to walk up the path to the front gate holding a stick upwards to break the spider webs with something other than my head. Although I like the spiders, a web across the face early in the morning is a creepy way to start the day. Maybe the iguanas are eating them all.

See an alien sing "I will survive" until it all goes wrong. Alien Song

I can’t believe that Darren Bell is out walking the streets instead of sitting in jail.  Reckless, out of control driving leaving one dead and many injured is grounds for serious criminal charges.  How does “Reclkess driving,” Speed greater than reasonable and prudent,” Passing on the right,” and Vehicular manslaughter sound?  I can only guess that charges are pending awaiting the outcome of the investigation. 

Cat on your car? Who cares? A little paw print never hurt anyone. You all need to stir up a mental margarita and chill.
Religion puts up walls between people, makes people angry, and cause wars to start. Some of the most heinous crimes in history have been preformed by trusted religious leaders. A simple belief in God and just obeying the common sense rules should be all there is to it. Why do people have to turn into fanatics where religion is concerned?
They put in a bunch of those highway "information" signs in Atlanta. The problem is that they don't have a good system to update the info- the signs tell you about a wreck that was cleared the previous night, or don't tell you about one that just happened in front of you. Most people ignore the signs now.  It is a good idea in concept, but a really dumb thing to do-especially down here. Spend the money on something useful.


I've got sea grapes on my car. Do you hear me complaining?
Sometimes we don't appreciate what we have in our own back yard like our local business. Let's shop locally and keep the money here. All of us will benefit .
What's the deal with the Coast Guard sinking those Cuban boat-cars that almost make it over here? They are full of oil and gas, and that can't be good for the reefs. Look at all the preparation vessels go through before they are sunk for artificial reefs.  Is the Coast Guard just trying to make a point, or is there more to this than meets the eye?


Re: Silver back garden spider. I agree. I haven't seen one of those in several years. I do have a bunch of crab spiders and every other kind of six-legged critter. At least they're alive and well.

I bought plywood from Overseas Lumber and it was over a dollar less than Home Depot. All those big box stores come into an area and slash prices until all the competition is gone and than raise their prices. That's what Scotty's did when they first came to Big Pine.

Hurricane season
is here stay safe.

Friday June 10, 2005

 

Thursday June 9, 2005

Workers Unite!
They're going to put these things on US1-- Big Pine Key!


As some of you may already know, The Florida Department of Transportation is planning to equip our island with over a dozen Dynamic Message Signs that will be an eyesore that is unneeded in an area that has taken years to achieve a scenic highway designation. One in Florida City and one in Key Largo are already up.

If you are not familiar with this subject you may find these links informative: Long Winded Tomes...

Found bracelet in Winn Dixie parking lot on Wed Jun 8. Email description. gtsally@bellsouth.net  before I fall in love with your bracelet.

Wow, what a great time at Comedy Night last Monday at the Tiki. I haven't laughed so hard in years. For at least a couple of hours the struggle of living in the Keys was diminished and I could forget the 60 hours a week I work. We need to support the Tiki in this endeavor to bring a little laughter and joy to the Islands. We get to laugh at ourselves and have a little fun. Hang in there Tiki with this one. It's only $3.00 and they do it every other Monday.

Wow, Mrs. Robinson is gone. She taught me how hot an older woman could be. I've loved them ever since. They're the greatest. May the good Lord welcome you with open arms. Sleep, sweet beautiful woman,
I have two neighbors from New Jersey also. One is a fat drunken slob and the other is a chain smoking lush. Yes, New Jersey does have variety.
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
I worked with a guy from Virginia who killed someone by driving recklessly like Darren Bell. This guy had to leave town and within two minutes of meeting someone he would tell them what he did. He was sorry.
Re: Dire need of computer lessons. Stop by the Senior Center this Saturday for the Big Pine Computer Club's bi-monthly meeting. It's free, no membership and this time of year there aren't too many people there so you can get your questions answered faster. If you have a laptop bring it or use one of the computers there. http://www.bigpinekey.com/Pages/bulletin_board.htm for more details.
It really is outrageous that so-called Christians say they must "forgive" murderers who willfully and intentionally murder others. When it is their child or spouse who is killed, do they change their tune? Who do they care about anyway, the victim or the murderer?
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
I, also, did not find Darren Bell in the Monroe County arrest records, so maybe he wasn't arrested. Weird, no charges? I hope he at least buys groceries for the children, or pays a babysitting fee for childcare. The only way to know if he feels remorse is to know him and ask him. Careless, reckless, and dumb. He will have this over his head the rest of his life.

Just a little warning to anyone out walking their dogs on the streets in their neighborhood: A 
6' alligator was found lying under a car parked on the street on Big Pine this past Friday.  They are moving about right now, as it is mating season, so watch out.
I've got a problem with cats on my car too. Could someone tell me the best way to catch and destroy these little monsters? Cat owners that let their cats run free should be hung from a tree by their nipples. 

Re: dire need of computer lessons. Great instructor here on Big Pine. Barter is a possibility. Write upwordspoetry@earthlink.net

To the person talking about growing your own vegetables in your back yard. You got the sun and water parts right, but Miracle Gro?  Haven't you ever heard of organic?  Miracle Gro is probably the worst thing that you could put into our environment, or your own body, for that matter.  Get yourself some good high nitrogen fish emulsion, or check out seabird and bat guano.  or even better yet, use earthworm castings.  Put that Miracle Gro shwagg away!
To the person that has to put in a comment about Boondocks every day. Are you the one that they threw out a few months ago for falling off the bar stool and messing your shorts? Yep. Everyone thought it was you. Too bad your alcoholism and mean spirit are eating you up. Everyone else is having fun. Bet you wish you had somewhere to go. Don't worry...you'll get there soon enough!
It was on this day in 1870, in London, Charles Dickens dropped dead at his chair at the dinner table. He died of a stroke, or apoplexy as it was called then. He was 58 years old. In the months before he died, he must have already suffered a stroke—he spoke in his letters of weakness and deadness on the left side and of not being able to pick up things with his left hand.
In the spirit of One Human Family, I think we should declare this Friday "Be Nice to New Jersey Day."  Give someone down here from New Jersey a big hug.
Traffic Patrol. I think the keys should have a plane or helicopter traveling above the highway so the traffic cop can look down and see these crazy drivers who pass at high rates of speed and call down so the road cops can know exactly where they are and stop them. Also I live on Big Pine and leave for work down Key Deer Blvd at 6:30 in the morning and have to pull over many times because of the crazy bumper huggers' bright lights in my face. I've also noticed a lot of teenage boys and girls driving reckless threw Big Pine. They speed in Eden pines like crazy people. And what's with all the people in the morning, when its still dark, out driving with no lights. I cant see them even coming down Key Deer Blvd. They should be ticketed.

Shark attack
in Surf City, New Jersey. See, it's just not us who are against Jersieties!
Hey, Y'all. Gotta lighten up! Remember that when you're on your porch watching Key deer (and they are the same species we shoot in the Glades). What you don't hear is drunken tourist puking in your yard or worse! When you drive to that crappy Winn Dixie you complain about you aren't stuck behind a train or trolley going 10 mph and stopping at every tree or house to spew revision history.  You've got it good on Big Pine, but you've got a really bad skanky Yankee infestation you should work on before they ruin your island too.
Re: Key Deer. Didn't Henry Flagler import them to the Keys so he could hunt them?

Kudos to the person who wrote in support of WD... "and lets go on to something else."  How about the 6000 homes that will be built in Fl. City.
This site deals with conceled towers. Fraud Frond.com
The Justice Department defended its decision to seek $10 billion for a stop-smoking plan, instead of $130 billion.
Ralph Nader says the Downing Street memo (that sits Blair's statement that Bush had already made up his mind to go to war before the WMD fiasco) is grounds to debate the impeachment of the president. Maybe things will get exciting now.
It's the birthday of the man who wrote so many classic songs: Cole Porter was born in Peru, Indiana (1893). Have you heard any of these tunes?

All Of You * Allez-Vous-En, Go Away * As On Thro The Seasons We Sail * At Long Last Love * Begin The Beguine * Between You And Me * But In The Morning, No * C'est Magnifique * Ca, C'est L'amour * Could It Be You * Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful? * Down In The Depths (On The Ninetieth Floor) * Easy To Love (You'd Be So Easy To Love) * Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye * Ev'rything I Love * Far Away * Farming * Friendship * From Alpha To Omega * From This Moment On * Get Out Of Town * Goodbye, Little Dream, Goodbye * I Am Loved * I Concentrate On You * I Get A Kick Out Of You * I Hate You, Darling * I Love Paris * I Love You * I've Got You Under My Skin * I've Still Got My Health * In The Still Of The Night * It's All Right With Me * It's De-Lovely * Just One Of Those Things * Katie Went To Haiti * Let's Be Buddies * Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love) * Let's Not Talk About Love * Love For Sale * Make It Another Old Fashioned, Please * Mind If I Make Love To You * Most Gentlemen Don't Like Love * Music & Lyrics Porter Vol 1 * My Heart Belongs To Daddy * Night And Day * Ours * Ridin' High * So Near And Yet So Far * Stereophonic Sound * True Love * Use Your Imagination * Well, Did You Evah? * What Is This Thing Called Love? * Where, Oh Where * Wouldn't It Be Fun * You Don't Remind Me * You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To * You're Sensational * You're The Top

Mosquito's are eating us alive in Big Pine and Big Torch. Take care of the "BIG" islands please. There are so many that I saw a flock of them carrying off a Key Deer. Do we have to live on Little Torch to get mosquito control? I bet the reason they got sprayed and the rest of us didn't was because the guy spraying lives on that island and doesn't want to hear his neighbors whining.
Winn Dixie is not not not city hall. It's Hell!      
Well my fellow neighbors, calling the State Agencies on Winn Dixie does make a huge difference. I called Friday and made my complaints on sanitary situations they came Tuesday and sighted them for several sanitary problem's and have promised to keep a close eye on them from now on. So, see it's not for no reason, our voice can make a difference. Keep this number for future problems and please take five minutes and call. (850) 488-3022  Have a great day you all.
I agree that the DC-3s were the better way for the Mosquito control board to go, at least as far as to what chemicals they were using then. Am I the only one in the Keys to have noticed the basic non-existence of spiders within the last 4 or so years? When was the last time (for the people who have lived here 8 or more years) that you have seen the once abundant banana spider, or the silver-back garden spider, even the crab spider is hardly around like they used to be. We should all be asking ourselves if this new form of pesticide is eliminating spiders what is it doing to us?
June 7 was not D-Day, it was June 6. If you don't know your history don't put historical notes on the web site.
Who knows who the officer was that hit the man on the bike last week? Now they're running us down for no light on a bike. This has to stop!



Why Heifer? Why not portly, chunky, heavy, plump, overweight, broad, stout, round, or fleshy. Shamu? Tubby?

Thursday June 9, 2005

 

Wednesday June 8, 2005


The recognized anniversary of D-Day was June 6th...not June 7th. Perhaps the wrong date but you can't fault anyone remembering the sacrifices of "The Greatest Generation".
Re: Mosquito Thank you. Not! We live in the acres near the Ball field and the mosquitos are alive and well. We never had a problem when they used the DC3's, but since they stopped the mosquitos suck. I'm voting for anyone new on the control board.
Re: True skinny. Thanks for that. Can you do like a weekly clarification?

I can live with the traffic light by the school on Sugarloaf, but the proposed cattle crossing sign on US 1 by Boondocks has got to be a joke. Tell me it ain't so. 
Shut up, already, about Winn Dixie. Drive to Key West or Marathon, but shut up, already. I don't work there, but I don't want to drive that far. For two years I have been shopping there and rarely have I ever seen any of the B.S. some people claim. I was there the day some crybaby whined about the seafood section stinking, I hate the smell of fish and noticed the smell in a second. When I bought shrimp it smelled fine. Never once have I bought green meat (Why would you?). Sure some of their products are not available anymore, but it doesn't wreck my day. Publix or Albertsons cares so much about you that they just avoid this area (no money in it). You can spend ten dollars in gas driving to K.W. or Marathon and then get home with thawed out food. All to save 5 cents on lettuce and 3 cents on milk. Do you really save as much money as you would spend in gas? I don't know why anyone would want to go into business in this whiney town anyway.




Anne Bancroft dead at 73. R.I.P. Anne
I am in dire need of computer lessons.  I just went to an Outlook class and an Excel class that was offered at my workplace.  I learned a few things, but mostly it was over my head.  Any suggestions on cheap training?
Howard Dean? Heck, we've got Hillary Clinton looking like a madwoman next to Dean's madman! The Democrats are so stupid they might have her run for President. Duh, Howard or Hillary? I can't believe they are so ignorant or stupid to think either of them has a chance. Shucks, did I just give them too much info and they'll regroup?
Folks, why all the interest in that liberal rag called the New York Times? Buy the Citizen, or go back up north where you belong. This ain't the mainland.




Re: Molly Hatchet. Danny Joe Brown (lead singer) died a couple of months ago in Hollywood, Fl. Unless he's coming back from the dead for one night only I don't think they will be at H.O.M. That would be flirting with disaster. R.I.P. Danny.
Hey, Looe Key Tiki Bar. Great job Monday with the Comedy Show. It was the best one yet. Keep it up. How about advertising it so more people come or did you  just do it for me? See you next time.
My part-time neighbor from Minnesota has a yard that is covered with poop (to use a polite term). The smell was starting to overwhelm the neighborhood, so I asked him if he ever thought that he should clean up after his dog?  His reply astounded me, "Dog? I ain't got no dog." Should we report him to some agency? That is beyond disgusting. 

Well, the truth is now out. Kerry and Bush are the same in the intellectual area, based upon their college grades. In other words, they both are dumb as posts.  I can't wait to see how the Keys' Depends crowd react to that news!
Ignorance is bliss. To you all and the lady wheezing and coughing at the doctors office who said, "Thank God for Mosquito spraying" Dibrom is an organophosphate, cousin to sarin gas used in the Gulf War. Biomist is a neurotoxin . It takes 2 drops to land on a mosquito to kill it. 1 drop only weakens the mosquito so it can more easily pick up disease and spread it. Larvicide works. Do your own research on the health hazards of mosquito spraying, non believers. Not growing your own mosquitos in standing water will ad to your comfort. Getting a mosquito bite and getting educated is much safer than being sprayed.

The Cubans are coming
, the Cubans are coming! In a taxi no less! Cuban's sealed the doors on an old taxi and put a propeller on it and drove to Miami yesterday.

Is it true that pearls melt in vinegar?

Why do they keep raising the hundred year flood plain? Is this based on anything remotely scientific, or is it just a scam to raise flood insurance rates?  And was Al Gore involved? Deepak Chopra? R. Kelly?







The best way to have fresh, healthy vegetables is to grow them yourselves. Miracle grow, sunshine and water is all you need. Place a wire fence cage around the plants for protection. Who needs Winn Dixie when you can eat out of your own back yard?
Do you realize that General Motors might implode because of their health care costs? The unions, that once made it great, are now the anchor around GM's neck that will destroy it. China doesn't have unions. GM used to have 600,000 employees, now it only has 125,000. Health care adds $1400 to the price of every car they make.
You are right. The people do deserve a better place to shop; and why should we travel out
of our way when we have a great store here WD, but unfortunately, it is slipping  down hill.
The people working there, I would say more than a hand full, are truly trying their best to keep things going right. P.S. there is no break room at WD. It is a hot, fly infested 2x4 area that's not worth the walk up.




Hey neighbor. What are you looking at with your binoculars thru our living room window on Tuesday? Did you enjoy the show, little peeping-tom? Maybe I'll give you something more interesting to see next time and/or tell the little lady with the squawking voice.
Why do we call it "Whinn Dickme"?

Re: True Southerner. Here’s some good advice for those who aren’t:

 Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get
your ass kicked.

 Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we know better. Many of us have visited Northern hellholes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home before it gets kicked.

Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away and leave us alone, or we'll kick your ass.



I finally caught that cat that was walking on my car at night. Think of all the money the owners will save on cat food now.
I have two close neighbors formerly from New Jersey.  One is a kind, helpful, neighborly man with a lot of friends. The other is an involuntarily retired lawyer making his living through serial 'accidents' and the resulting settlements.  NJ obviously produces variety, like any other place.

Wednesday June 8, 2005

 

Tuesday June 7, 2005


It's the anniversary of the biggest military invasion in history, D-Day, (1944).
Here's the true skinny on all the crap going on:
1. Billy Causey has nothing to do with emergency services, or the county. He is with the marine sanctuary.
2. Waste Management will not remove piles of trash from the roadside with out careful sorting and calls to schedule a pick up.
3.Publix has not bought anything yet. A purchase suggests that money has changed hands.
4. Walgreens has not been stopped by the county from building the Walgreens style building on the old Scotty's property.  The legal fight is about something separate having to do with transferability of the left over square footage.
5. Renting to young people without credit history, If they are responsible enough to have saved enough for first last and security that tells me that they get a chance in my book.
6. Conk & Stein is still for sale.
7.If you don't like frozen seafood don't eat frozen seafood.  But don't make a fuss about someone kind enough to offer it. 
8. Yes I am free with my opinions and information


Re: Hurricane shelter home addition. There is no danger of the shelter being filled with water. All shelters would have to be built above the hundred year flood plain, just like your house. The shelter's would all have to comply with the County's strict hurricane statutes.

Kudos to Monroe County Mosquitoes Control for staying on top of the pesty sites following the recent high tides and rain.  Keep up the good work.  We on Little Torch appreciate your efforts a lot.
Re: Real Southerner. I know what amount of fish or greens constitute a "mess".  I know what "directly" is and how long it takes to get there. As for "yonder", Y'all know it is the direction in which the speaker is pointing.
Re: hurricane shelters. Billy Wagner is the head of the County hurricane evacuation not Billy Causey (Nat'l Marine Sanctuary)
Any time I see something in traffic that I would have normally called the police about I now call the Highway Patrol (*FHP on a cell phone). Those guys have thick ticket books, fast cars and love to pull people over.
Re: North Pine Channel and South Pine Channel are misnamed. They really should be called East Pine Channel and West Pine Channel, respectively.  As for why West Summerland is so called, go to http://keys.fiu.edu/gazetteer/index.html. It is a site about Keys' names. 
I've done my share of stupid things behind the wheel. I don't think there's any question that we all have. I've raced my brother with the speedometer needle bouncing on 120 mph, I even brought my car up on two wheels taking a corner at close to 60 mph (with no seatbelt on). I did all these things when I was young, and I'm well aware that I've used up all my luck behind the wheel. That's why I drive like a white man now. But through all that I was never an aggressive driver, I never tried to intimidate other drivers, and there is a difference. The vehicular manslaughter that Darren Bell was involved in was a result of aggression, an intentional maneuver intended to intimidate another driver. Maybe he shouldn't spend ten years in jail, but he should serve some time, as well as attend an intensive course in anger management. By the way, I never found his name on the sheriffs web site, was he even arrested, or does he use another name? Arrest Record



Japanese Talent Show

Ed is named "Xxxxx". He probably won't post this as he wants to remain anomolous.
Did you folks read the article about the worst drivers in the country? Guess where they are from? The Northeast: New Jersey, New York, Mass. Big surprise there.
After reading the article about dividing the country I realize that it has happened. Too bad there is no middle ground. Non-party independents.
As Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) once said: Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel".

Here is a list of Prominent Democrats, Prominent Republicans and Prominent Pundits & Preachers...and their Military Service Records. Long winded tomes...
RE: Another fatality by a lunatic driver. Yesterday, coming back to Big Pine from Marathon a happy head-up-his-a$$ vacationer driving a car with out-of-state plates who couldn't wait to get to Key West to get liquored up or laid very nearly caused what would have been a horrible head-on accident trying to pass. Where do these diminished capacity idiots think they're going to go in a line of traffic miles long? One simple thing that could be done to reduce these accidents would be to make all of the bridges "no-passing" zones with heavy enforcement and large fines for violators. And, by the way, have you ever noticed how many County Sheriff, FWC and FHP marked, law enforcement vehicles drive up and down U.S. 1 in the lower Keys? They never seem to be doing anything but cruising down the road usually talking on a cell phone!

More rules and regulations won't stop overly aggressive drivers but they will piss people like me off. Passing zones are necessary for good traffic flow and I for one believe that the fine people who painted the lines on the road did a good job. Once a week I pass a car doing 45 in a 55 so that I can put my cruise control back at 57 (I'm a badass). I have an idea for our problem. Idea: What if we got the DOT to put those calming signs on the side of the road like up near Key Largo... "Just three more minutes until your passing zone." They should be clever like "No Rush... the bars are open until 4 A.M." Perhaps get some sponsorship behind the signs, "Don't break the law!--sponsored by Home Depot." All kidding aside; we are helpless to the bad drivers out there. If you know one; encourage them to be patient. If you are one then stop. And if you aren't a bad driver barreling down Route One, keep your eyes on the road and watch out because you might be collected in a wreck not of your own making. Lastly, don't get bent out of shape everytime you see a bad driver because that defeats the whole purpose. Pull to the side and let them pass and the cops will get them once they finish their phone call.

Re: Brought in 10 deer a year to increase the heard. Everything in that posting was inaccurate except the last line. Is it the writer's intention to discredit the refuge so that the writer can develop land here? I wonder.

Re: Dr. Berger story. I too received a bill from a different medical service for an MRI that was paid a year ago. And a double bill from another medical service that had also been paid. I wonder how big a racket this is?


Send the lobsters back to New Jersey. Man, the 'sending everything back to New Jersey' is getting a little out of control. If we sent the tourists, lobsters, Key Deer, and general A-holes back to New Jersey, the island would be barren. The lobster comment is no doubt made by a non-seafood lover. A little crustacean frustration, perhaps? Good thing you made Big Pine your home because people come to the Keys for the great steaks. (P.S. ED- saved ya some trouble finding NJ/lobster clipart. It's not a Keys lobster, but what can ya do? Photoshop rocks!)
I wish you people would just shut the hell up about Winn Dixie. If it is such a problem why don't you get a job there and fix it. We try hard to get you what you want and when you want it. Please send more aliens here so we can hire them to ignore customers or say we need to learn their language so they can communicate. There are too many useless paychecks going out of that place for workers that don't do crap. I wish we had more people there that did care, but we don't. The big dogs at the company won't come here and just watch how things don't work. So anyway Im sorry, I work there. I can't change it, but it gets old with the bashing. And the bench,  If you're on lunch go up to the break room and eat. If you can't make it up the stairs, Retire. If your shopping, finish and go home. If your homeless go back to the woods and think about your ways. If you smoke just don't do it by the doors. I'm done. Don't come back to this and try to make me feel bad I am past having feelings. 



The Molly Hatchet concert at the House of Music has been canceled.
Re: Darren Bell. I saw the wreckage. The SUV's were pancakes. What speed caused this? I was on the bridge when the helicopter came to save lives. It broke my heart that someone so desperately in need of getting somewhere, so very quickly chose to pass on the gravel on the right side of the rode; thus losing control and causing the death of an innocent woman and depriving her children of a mother For the rest of their lives; and depriving her the joy of raising her children.

I believe, you create your own hell on earth and Darren has certainly created his own. To live the rest of his life with this burden is horrible but expected. She is with God and we need to pray for Darren and those children now, I guess.

Re: Dr. Berger. Two years ago, I was experiencing symptoms of chest tightness and trouble breathing. I went to see Dr. Boros but he was on vacation so I was forced to see Dr. Berger. After telling him my symptoms, he listened to my heart beat w/ stethoscope and pronounced that I must be in Miami the next morning for an angiogram, he felt my situation couldn't wait. I couldn't believe what he was saying and really felt that he was going way too fast without going through the proper non-invasive testing first. Long story short, I called him back and informed that I wouldn't be going to Miami and that I would wait for Dr. Boros to do a stress test when he returned from vacation. At that point he told me I couldn't take that risk and that I could die before Boros returned 2 days later! I waited for Boros and had the proper pre-testing done. I found out that I had over-exposed myself to bleach and commercial fabric dyes which caused a lung reaction. So much for expensive invasive guesses on the part of Dr. Berger. Beware the Dr. who resorts to immediate surgical procedures, it's their cash-cow.
Murray's Food store on Summerland Key carries the NY Sunday Times.  Summerland residents are more literate than those in BPK.
For you people claiming that "they" brought deer down here from the mainland, please, give me some proof.  You are probably some of the ones that think the Key deer are pests and cause all of your problems.  Have you looked at the scientific data concerning these deer? I have. Their DNA is different from mainland deer, they have one less molar on each side of their jaw, their skull is a little different than mainland deer, etc., etc.  And exactly where did you get your information that they "determined a few years ago, with heat guns"? (Hmmm, tell us how, pray tell?). "There are almost a thousand Key deer"  Texas A & M just completed a three year study a few years back, that estimated there are about 600-800 of the deer.  There are lots of papers written on the Key deer, and not by Fish & Wildlife, but other agencies and such.  Just go on the Internet and check it out.  And what do you think "inbreeding" is, exactly?  At one time there were less than 50 of these animals in the lower Keys, the result of hunting, before they were protected, so yeah, there was inbreeding.  Sounds like you are the results of such yourself.  Unbelievable.
 
If it weren't for the Key deer and the refuge, Big Pine would just be another Marathon, and I know I wouldn't be living here.
Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful ... that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food and, that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
Hindering community growth. How can Monroe County not allow Walgreens to rebuild at the old Scotty's site? Walgreens wants to replace the old defunked 25,000sq. ft. building with a smaller 16,000sq. ft. building. The old building is so old that it was only rated to withstand a Catagory 2 hurricane. That was when it was new, now with 30 plus years of rust and age it would be lucky to withstand a brisk tropical storm.

Who is the county to say who or what can be built anywhere? This isnt Cuba. This is the USA, remember what just happened to the "Duck Tours vs. Key West"? That's what happens when govt. steps in and imposes they're ever-knowing policies. The American way in corporate business is that the strong survive and the weak move or go out of business. CVS is the only place between KW and Marathon to get perscriptions. If Walgreens were to open, that would serve the community by allowing the consumer to choose. The 9000 sq. ft. of commercial space that Walgreens doesn't use for thir new building means 9000 sq. ft. that can be moved off site to build or expand another building that can improve the Island.

It's like what the developers are doing; if you buy an old moblie home you can tear it down and replace it with a new up-to-code modular, no problem. But now the county thinks its helping us. They're not. They're hindering the communities growth. You can't stop this and they know this, so they're trying to slow it down in hopes of scaring off any future development.

I really like the idea of the personal family hurricane shelters!  In the "old" days, we had personal bomb shelters growing up, I think that this would be a fantastic way to help us during this stressful time.. I would much rather have my own "space" as sharing with people I didn't know.
Re: reporting Winn-Dixie. When contacting the state agencies you can only report sanitary situations. When the meat department has green meat and red dye all over the floor and bug's all over the rotten vegetables I'd say that's plenty to call on. Unfortunately, calling Winn-Dixie corp., get's you nowhere. Any other suggestions of who to call? And to the person who say's just shop elsewhere, Why? When I own and work in Big Pine should I have to except crap like that? You must be one of those, "Everything is fine the way it is" people. Sad, because our hard working community deserves better.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
So I wonder if Holly got out of jury duty today? I did!

Tuesday June 7, 2005

 

Monday June 6, 2005

What a prize this sheriff's office is. I agree with the person who called the State Police about the truck driver.  I was behind a car about three weeks ago who was swerving, crossing into the oncoming lane.  On and off the gas and break.  Ran several cars off the road.  I called the Monroe County Sheriff's office.  The woman on the phone asked me to get close enough to read her the license plate.  Then asked me to describe the driver.  After 15 miles and passing several Sheriff's cars I called again.  This time we were on Stock Island.  She said "At this point we can't do anything.  They are in Key West's jurisdiction."  Rick Roth must be proud of them.




Ok, Ed, 'fess up- are you male, female or a transvestite? I gots to know.
That doesn't quite make sense that the police in Monroe County would lock a man up for D.U.I. (they can't stand an intoxicated local, unless you have a bunch of money) who has not driven in years for 29 days, non negotiable. But let a murderer back out on the road who just killed a mother of a couple of kids. What's up there? Who's really controlling the scene?
I'm curious about that "hurricane shelter" home addition. If you have ever been in a hurricane, you will know that the sand and ground level shifts, water levels rise, etc. This means you would be buried or trapped in a home-made shelter filled with water, and would drown before escape is possible.
Lobsters are the cockroaches of the sea. Get them out of here and back to New Jersey where they belong. And quit picking on the short ones, they can't all be well endowed.


I would like to extend a hat's off and a feather in the caps of Dr. Cruz and staff including the fill in Vet for helping me keep my babies (geriatric dogs) going and the positive advice concerning one on massive amounts of medicine. You all have eased my concern about whether or not I am doing the right thing to keep Big Pines most ferocious and oldest Chihuahua alive.  Thanks Doc's.

Re: Family Hurricane shelter. I built a concrete 16' x 12' hurricane shelter addition on a wood frame home. The owners keep it stocked for emergencies and use the addition as a laundry room. They don't even have shutters because we used the 150mph rated windows that are approved in the County. It makes a lot of sense to me. To hell with widening the 18 mile stretch.

This "who pooped?" in the water thing is getting ridiculous. If there are peanuts or corn in it, then it more than likely came from that fat slob in the water upstream. If nothing unusual is in the poop, then it probably came from Fido. In either case it's still disgusting. And what about the old tampons floating around? Yuchh!   Sound advice: avoid Picnic (Pig-nic) Island and Marvin Key like the plague. Imagine what is breeding in those waters.

Mystery: How come North Pine Channel is East of South Pine Channel? West Summerland Key is East of Summerland Key? My IQ is bigger than my bank account?



Good thing that wasn't a heifer turd on Marvin Key, those things are Big!
I want to say kudos to the person who wrote about the Darren Bell accident and the way we need to remember to be careful.  I did my share of reckless driving as a youth.  I was very lucky.  I think it is awful that a woman was killed in front of her children.  When something like this happens there is a lot of anger but also a feeling of helplessness.  There's not a lot we can do about it now, and I agree, roasting Darren Bell isn't going to do any good.  It's true, we can do something about ourselves and teach our children using this as an object lesson.  I was driving to Key West today and was going to pass a couple of slow cars (legally, of course) but then I thought, "Am I really in that big of a hurry?"  So I waited until the road went to two lanes. 
This was a bad accident that shouldn't have happened in the first place, but instead of just getting mad about it we should remember it and use it for good by respecting the traffic laws at all times.
Also does anyone know if there is any kind of fund or memorial for the woman's family?
Three things on my mind.
1. Why don't you defenders of wild cats trap them and take to your house and confine them?  Then you can watch them breed and multiply.
2. The big sign advertising Winn Dixie, near the Key Deer and House of music, would probably taste better than the food in the store. It sure looks fresher.
3. The restaurant in Summerland doesn't need boats to deliver fresh fish everyday. You can scoop them up as you wade from your car to the front door.

I am a little concerned about the Key Deer inbreeding, but I am a lot more concerned about the Key's people inbreeding. Are we destined to have "Deliverance" style banjo-players hanging out on all the bridges? And what about those guys with green teeth? Blow the dam!
Here's a Dr. Berger story.  My husband had an angiogram in Miami way back in Dec.  Recently we received a threatening letter stating our account was being turned over to a collection agency.  We had never even received a bill, so I called the collection agency who said we owed $1800.00.  I called my insurance company who said they had never received a claim from this group and called for me.  The insurance company said the agency answered the phone "hello" and said to tell us not to worry about it.  Just yesterday we got a letter from the Dr's stating that the letter was sent in error and we don't owe anything.  Now how many people, especially elderly people, would have just paid the bill?  I think this is fraud and so does my insurance co. Now how do I have someone prosecuted for this? No wonder medical care is so expensive and out of reach to so many people.
To the cat lover that thinks guys don't want to nurture their animals. This just shows cat people's ignorance. Its neuter, you ding bat!
If someone knew that Darren Bell had "been doing this crazy driving crap on the road for as long as he's lived on Big Pine Key" why wasn't he reported to the Sheriff's Office before he caused an accident?
Why is it that mothers of diapered children feel they are entitled to change diapers wherever they please? And worse, throw those stinking white bombs out of their car windows to trash the environment? Take a few plastic bags to wrap up those bombs, and discard them in a trash can!

I overheard one moo exclaim how her son left them a "present" inside the dressing room where she was changing the stinking diaper! Duddy was sitting in a chair outside the dressing room. Ummm, couldn't Duddy take the stinker across the store to the baby changing station while moo was dressing? Bacteria alert!

Re: Taking the high road. Ok. I can't believe I have to write this. My posting was not to defend Darren Bell, people who drive recklessly for animals or for any other reason. I didn't say "everyone has done this" but c'mon - you can't tell me you've been an angel in traffic all your driving life. We all can learn from this tragedy. Slow down, calm down, it's not worth endangering anyone. As for you. Obviously your outraged, and rightly so. But you're missing "the entire fricking point". Darren Bell caused an accident and a mother died, leaving her children. It's done! It happened already. It can't be reversed. All we can do is respond to it and hopefully prevent it from happening again. I'm trying to apply the principles of safe driving to my life, and emploring others to do the same and realize that your actions effect other people. So be careful and respectful on the road. You're just being angry, malicious, and, well, an ass. If you have so much energy to burn that you feel the need to blast everyone, why don't you "grow the heck up" and write the sherrif's department, or a letter to the editor, or a letter to a school about safety or send some support to that family from Jacksonville or something constructive? All you seem to be able to do is lash out.

I don't want to go to his house, hold his hand and play with his pets. How did you extrapolate that? That's "Un-fricking believable!" "Poor you." You're not accomplishing anything good or helpful. I wrote that posting because all I want is for everyone to see that it is better to learn by observation than by experience. We don't need for this to ever happen again. Let's all take the high road and learn. That includes you - you big whiner!


Kudos to Matt Blunt! Way to go Gov.
Re: reporting traffic violators. Forget it. The law has to see the violation to arrest someone. They can't take the word of John Q. Public and then arrest some stranger for an alleged violation. Get real. I wish they could arrest people on my say so. I'd get rid of all the Jerseites.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
For years the wildlife people lied and said that the deer population was getting smaller and would vanish in a few years. For years they brought in 10 deer at a time to increase the herd. Several years ago they did a count using heat guns and it was determined that there were almost a thousand. They, then asked people to locate the places were fawns were seen so they could trap and relocate them. They did and that's why they're all the way down in Sugarloaf. The reason that they gave for the relocation was inbreeding. Again that's a lie. Key deer breed all year down here. A deer spends his or her life on 1 square mile. The buck however will travel a greater distance to mate.
Thank God for dumb ass Liberals like Howard Dean. As long as he's the leader of the DNC he will single handedly bring down the leftist liberal party. Keep up the good work Liberals, and keep up the Bush bashing. You keep proving to me daily that Liberals suck.
This is in response to the person who thinks that mainland deer couldn't survive here. Have you ever been to the Everglades? Have you seen the size of the deer? And did you know that some years back, some deer from the Everglades were brought down to Big Pine Key by Fish and Wildlife or whatever it was called back then? I know that you won't believe me, but do some homework and you'll find out that it is true. This was in the days when Jack Watson was still around. Personally, I don't think that it makes much difference, but I think that the bureaucrats would prefer that people think of the "key" deer as being somehow unique and therefore more fit for worship. Look into it. If you find someone honest at the refuge who has been around long enough to know, they may not admit it, but they won't deny it either.



Hi Hubby, I love you. You are an awesome cook.

Monday June 6, 2005

 

Sunday June 5, 2005

Re: Hurricane evacuation. Billy Causey is the County's head of emergency services (or something like that). He's the man responsible for widening the 18 mile stretch. It's time for him to go. He's an old, set in his ways, Conch who hasn't had an original idea in 25 years.

In reading about that guy who feels beaten by the system in his divorce, I kind of feel the same way about hurricane shelters. If there only was some way to get the powers that be to see that personal family hurricane shelters (along with larger public buildings) are the way to go to save lives. There are many of us who don't evacuate for one reason or another who are going to get killed when the big one hits.

A personal hurricane shelter could be a concrete room addition to your stilt home. It would look just like the rest of the house except that it would be hurricane safe. The State and County should subsidize the construction or give tax credits to those building these shelters. It would be money better spent than widening the 18 mile stretch which really only brings more tourists to the Keys and does nothing for those who can't or won't evacuate.

The link for the Anchors away post went nowhere or am I doing something wrong?
(Ed: it's a good link. Do you have Windows Media Player?)
I agree something must be done about WD, but contacting state agencies won't help. You must complain to WD's main office. If enough people call you will see a big difference for the better; or better yet call the BP# and complain bitterly, but you all must do it. Tell the new management, "Shape up or ship out." Call, call, call.

Don't complain about neighbors who pile up their trash at the curb when they move. Trash removal is the job of Waste Management. My filthy neighbors would have left the trash all over the house and yard. That's how they live--in plies of trash 24/7/365. The neighbor pigs have lessened my real estate value too.
Re: learn from this tragedy. This Darren Bell has been doing this crazy driving crap on the road for as long as he's lived on Big Pine Key. There is no remorse there. You don't know. Some people, don't have a conscience. Grow up!

I respect you taking the high road, no that's not true, but you missed the entire fricking point. Should a 31 year old mother of 4 children lose her life and leave her children motherless to help Darren Bell and people such as yourself who admits to endangering others lives or kill/injure them, on the road to let their pet out (whatever) or learn a driving lesson? All the while you're talking about pets and their alleged problems. Poor you and Darren Bell. Un-fricking believable!

Here's a common sense thought: Don't drive like a jackass (Darren Bell) and and pass people in a lot of traffic in the gravel on the other side of the road, rev up your car, dart in at a high rate of speed while trying to jump back in front of 5 cars while still being behind 40 others in very slow moving traffic, lose control of your car, kill (murder) an innocent young woman, injure her 4 children and two other innocent human beings, and then walk the streets two days later as though nothing happened.

Yeah right, "everyone" has done this. Why don't you go to Darren Bell's house, hold his hand and play with his pets or whatever else you're babbling about. Go tell those 4 injured motherless children that their mother is dead because of someone's  pets or whatever other excuse that you are trying to conjure up for his "hell" that you think that he's in (not). Grow the heck up.

Once again, I implore the Sheriff's Dept. to do their best in keeping an eye out for these aggressive and insane drivers that are becoming so pervasive in the Big Pine area. It quite simply has to stop.
Once upon a time Marvin Key was an amazing place to go to. It was paradise.  Years ago when my kids were small, I used to bring them there and we had a blast. It was a good wholesome time for them. They learned to love our unique nature here. Then all the party animals that got tired of Picnic Island found it and moved there.  Now it is no longer family friendly. Poop floating. How disgusting. Whoever let the load out ought to be ashamed of themselves. What an abuse of a wonderful place. You know, portable toilets don't take that much room in a boat. Leave one of the cases of beer home and try enjoying the area for what it is in your natural state. Leave the drinking and partying for home. We already have too many places that are being destroyed by too many boats piling up on their shores for weekend drunk fests.
It seems everyone is so up in arms about frozen seafood being served.  I can understand people serving it in their house, but I was disgusted when I saw a local seafood restaurant on Summerland was serving it and calling it fresh local seafood.  The waiter even tried saying it was caught that day and it was a Sunday. No commercial fishing boats deliver on Sunday.  No wonder this restaurant is going under.  I wish they would take the "Closed for vacation" sign down and just admit they are closed for good.
Democrat Congressman Charles Rangle from NY was the one who introduced the draft bill last year that was somehow blamed on the Republicans. Republicans wearied of the Democrats letting that quiet smelly fart and then pointing in their direction, so they fast tracked the bill to the floor to the Dems' dismay, and killed it. The Republicans, to a man, voted against it. The two votes for it were from the Dems. The slimy Rangle even voted against his own bill. This is a typical tactic employed by Democrats. Republicans and the military both are vehemently against a draft. How many times does that have to be repeated?

Re: Taking some action towards Winn Dixie. So, what are we supposed to say when we call to report them? They stopped carrying my favorite products? The bench is gone? They moved the bulletin board? What? Shop somewhere else.

Darren Bell: Most of us have driven like stupid people at one time or another, but I can't have any sympathy for this killer of the innocent. He passed cars on the shoulder of the road, in the gravel,  leaving the pavement, and swerved back into traffic and then lost control and entered the oncoming lane killing this mother and her children. Talk about reckless!

As far as over-doing the lobster limits. I have a neighbor here on Big Pine that owns his house here as a vacation house. He and his family come here maybe once a month and always for mini season. During mini season, they go out repeatedly and rape the ocean, boat load after boat load. For two long days they come in and go out filling their boat quota and their freezers. One time, they boasted about getting short lobsters because they were entitled to because they pay high property tax here. They served them on a salad whole and they were only 2" long! Do you think the Marine Patrol care? No way. They drive right by a Marine Patrol's house on the way in. I live on a canal and see many boats doing this. Why is this O.K. for some people?

Another fatality by a lunatic driver.  Yesterday, coming back to Big Pine from Marathon a happy head-up-his-ass vacationer driving a car with out-of-state plates who couldn’t wait to get to Key West to get liquored up or laid very nearly caused what would have been a horrible head-on accident trying to pass.  Where do these diminished capacity idiots think they’re going to go in a line of traffic miles long?  One simple thing that could be done to reduce these accidents would be to make all of the bridges “no-passing” zones with heavy enforcement and large fines for violators.  And, by the way, have you ever noticed how many County Sheriff, FWC and FHP marked, law enforcement vehicles drive up and down U.S. 1 in the lower Keys?  They never seem to be doing anything but cruising down the road usually talking on a cell phone!

Re: Serious question about the Key deer.  No, they don't bring other deer in to breed.  A large, mainland whitetail couldn't survive down here on what these deer eat.  What you saw with the bottom jaw appearing deformed could be an old injury (I've seen jaws broken where assholes have hit the poor deer with blunt objects), or it could be a deformity from the inbreeding.
Winn Dixie is not city hall. How many people have been thrown out of the store by dumb ass managers that think they are cops?
Re: picking up after your dogs. How do you know it's dog crap.  Babies crap and so do children and older people.  Haven't you ever experienced a bowel movement in the water?  Have you not seen diapers on the island once in a while?  What do you think was in them before they washed up?
For more fabulous bloopers, blunders & gaffes from ol' George W. (such as the disassemble/dissemble debacle), go to http://www.dubyaspeak.com/freshdubya.phtml
Great stuff. Comes with the accompanying audio. Here's a top–ten list of some of the best...
10. At this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly outta Ronald Reagan Airport.
9. Laura and I will thank them from the bottom of my heart.
8. When you have your own money, it means you've got more money to spend.
7. The benefits of helping somebody is beneficial.
6. We're in for a long struggle, and I think Texans understand that. And so do Americans.
5. Sometimes when I sleep at night I think of "Hop on Pop".
4. I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here.
3. And one of the things we've got to make sure that we do is anything.
2. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end.
1. Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better.
I'm not a particularly Disney-friendly guy, so I was sickened to hear of the places at Disney World's Grand Floridian Resort that are named after locations in the Keys: Boca Chica, Conch Key, and BIG PINE KEY. Ugh. Stupid big-eared rat. No room to build in the Keys so why not just rip off the names? Anybody ever read Carl Hiaasen's Team Rodent? Check it out. (Editor. If this site isn't running tomorrow, we'll know that Mickey's goons have gotten to you & we should send help.)

I have also heard the rumor that Publix bought the True Value property. But, don’t get your hopes up.  Even if the rumor is true, by the time the Monroe County Government gets into the act with their oppressive, Gestapo-like obstructionist regulations maybe, just maybe your great-grand-children could shop there.   Not to mention all of the deer huggers, mangrove maniacs, environmentalist nut cases, the “Citizens Against Virtually Everything” group that will try to find anything that will stop the slightest progress.  They would rather look at the True Value dump and junkyard than a nice, new Publix plaza.  The old Scottie’s store is a fine example.  Walgreens wants to tear down that filthy eyesore and build a much smaller, attractive building that would better fit into the community landscape.  But no, the County won’t have it.  That’s why Walgreens has taken the County to court.  I hope they win. 

To the cat haters out there. I'll bet you’re all the same people that don't believe in spay and nurturing your animals. The men think that nurturing their dogs are going to make them fell like less of a man. And when their dog breaks out to go get a female dog they freak out and beat the poor thing. You're all the very cause of it all. Grow up and ask any vet if it will make your dog feel less than a man. It will do wonders for your pet and they won't run away and injure themselves chasing after other animals in heat. You'll have a perfect pet. I've had many animals fixed over the years and raised a dog for 19 years and 2 cats that lived to be 19. They will do it for free now.
Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

I think those blow up sex toy manufacturers used a Keys woman for a model. I've never seen either one with teeth.

Another rumor is that CVS, wants to distance themselves from the inevitable Walgreens wants to buy the Century 21 and Coconuts properties, clear the land and build a mini-plaza.  In order to help grease them through the permitting nightmare the rumor further says they would donate the existing CVS building (read payola) to Florida Wildlife Conservation Commission for office space.  But rumors are just that, rumors.  Remember Wendy’s going into Winn-Dickme (Oh, how I wish!), Duncan Donuts on Big Pine, Montego Bay being rebuilt, the up-state high roller who was going to open a fine dining restaurant on Big Pine.  Rumors!

True Value was purchased by A. Blorg and King Kilo from Cannibosa. They need to give Poinciana a new trade because gets too anxious when he is sent to deliver products and becomes all arms and legs which start flailing uncontrollably when he is unsure of the directions. PeeWee-D has lost his privileges as far as the handling of the sacred herb so he may need to go there as well.  This structure is said to be impervious to the dreaded Surly-rays, so it could be a safe haven for all concerned.  Poinciana has tired of hearing he is doing a "good job" because he needs more money to survive here on Earth unless he is returned to mother Russia as a last resort.
Re: Thanks to a Dr. Berger from Miami. Are you referring to the cardiologist Berger? If so, I've got a good personal story to relate...
I was behind an idiot truck driver heading up the keys one day and called him into the highway patrol. He was passing on yellow lines and running people off the road. After twenty miles I called again, and was told they were looking. We drove right by a trooper at Holiday isle and nothing was done, so go ahead call these bad drivers in. Maybe something will get done, but I doubt it.
Hey Editor, Nice picture of yourself.  Loving the pony tail.

Sunday June 5, 2005

 

Saturday June 4, 2005





(Ed: Thank you Piners for re-sending your comments that had vanished due to yesterday's computer malfunction. we appreciate it.)
Yes it is time to eliminate the feral cat. And all those owned cats running free should be shot also. Maybe if the heifers found out how good they are to eat, they would quickly disappear.
Re: no open containers in boat. That article sounded like a typical weekend at Picnic Isle. You're not boating, you're drinking. You drive your boat to the island, park, get wasted and then drive home. Now what about those jackasses at Holiday Isle?
I don't know what a whack is, but I do know Whackin' Bob


I believe the residents of the Keys should have free parking for the next five years to make up for Gilbert Suarez's stealing parking meter revenue to support his drug and alcohol problems.
Hello out there!  The NY Times daily paper is at the Key Deer Blvd. entrance of WD shopping
center. I've been buying it every am. (the blue box )
Re: high maintenance. Get real or go back to New Jersey. Every local down here, when they get back from a nice day fishing they clean their fish and then, guess what? they put the fish in the freezer! If you want dolphin out of season they put the fish in the freezer? It will be frozen. If you want lobster out of season, they put the fish in the freezer. It will be frozen. Get a grip! Take your high maintenance, no frozen seafood, Clorox white, blubber butt back to New jersey!
To the Bush hater: Let's split the country into two parts, one part we can fill up with you Bush hating, affirmative action, welfare loving, non-working, bleeding heart, tree hugging Jane Fonda types. Let's fill the other with responsible, hard working, intelligent, military supporting, respectable Bush supporting, good looking people. Then lets see how long each side would survive, see which one would be strong and prosper!
Re: Meter thief. they should lock up the wife too. She was in on the whole scheme with her thieving husband. she wouyld bring the coins to the bank.
I heard that True Value was sold to Homeland Security for an immigrant detention center
What is the issue with Boondocks?  The owners are awsome. The servers are friendly and fast.  Didn't your mother ever teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all?

Affordable Housing?
I think it's stupid for people and realators to say that young people can't rent down here in the Keys. So what if they are young. Give them a chance. There are some young adults out there that want to be on their own or with the person they love but can't because they have no credit and are young. Give them a chance. Maybe they will surprise you. Don't think every young person out there has a bad rep or can't make the money. If they want to, they can do anything just as well as 30-40 year olds.
I heard that True Value is going to be a porn super store and restaurant, serving the best sausage sandwiches on the island. Featuring porn karaoke, Chip and Dales, and lessons on how to get rid of iguanas?
Heifer burger recipe: two pounds of ground Purina cow chow, knead until it looks like a pile of mashed buttholes. Top with a heaping pile of cud lightly flowered so you can find the wet spot. Slide it between two big ol' Big Pine drunks and serve with a chilled 40oz.
Boy, the green weanies have sure been meanies lately. I sure hope some of them get laid soon.
This is a picture of what my neighbors left behind when they moved.  Who the heck do they think is going to get rid of it?  The Waste Management guys just laughed, grabbed an extension cord in the pile and left.  The deadbeat landlord also laughed. What is the problem with people?
Things that make you go hummm. A couple of years ago as a vacation renter in Big Pine, I was privy to see a big boat several times coming in with big hauls of lobster tail. 5 gal. buckets full. I could see because I was above them on their canal. It was interesting because the "boat" was slipped behind a house with a law enforfcement vehicle in the yard!
I had a very close friend who passed away in September. He used to say, "Darlin, never complain about a gift given or offered. especially food." Unless a person has a boat or their own way for getting fresh seafood, don't complain about somebody offering frozen seafood as a gift.  Recognize the gift for what it was. Something given to you at no cost.
Was True Value bought by Publix or Walgreens or at all?  Two posters don't agree, so which is it?
Fairville Mega store bought True Value. Thank God, finally a store on Big Pine I'll shop at.

There is a rumor that the True Value has been bought for an adult toy store for Big Pine's own residents. Might even have live entertainment also. Just what Big Pine needs.
Re: Darren Bell was responsible. I am reminded of a time when a neighbor had a pet emergency and I drove her to Marathon at speeds reaching 80+ mph. Amazingly, we got there in one piece despite my many traffic violations. I was 26 at the time and was only thinking of saving her pet - which ended up happening. It was a happy ending. I think back on it now and say, "That was really stupid and dangerous to have driven like that, I'm glad nothing happened." Darren Bell can now look back on his accident and say, "That was really stupid and dangerous to have driven like that. Someone lost their life because of it." I can't help but think that so easily could have been me.

Almost all of us can remember an instance where we were dangerous in traffic for one reason or another. Most of our stories did not end in death, but they easily could have. One over-correction, one car in the wrong place at the wrong time, and the story goes sour. It's ok to be angry over the unnecessary death of this woman and her children's loss, it's a terrible thing. However, blasting this young man is not going to accomplish anything good. I'm sure he's in his own private hell right now. The only positive thing we can do is to learn from this tragedy. We can honor the woman who was killed by respecting our one road and the people with whom we share it. Allow a little more time to get where we're going and remember what can happen when we forget that our actions effect others.

Did you read the top story in the Citizen about the doctors refusing to help people in need? What a bunch of bull. Thanks to a Dr. Berger from Miami who seems to be the only one that remembers the doctor's creed. These arrogant Key West doctors have a lot of nerve. My advice is get your butt in the e.r. and help the people that make it possible for you to be here in the first place. I suggest we run all the ungrateful doctors out of town and hire Dr. Berger and people like him.
I wonder if the Florida Sheriff's Dept. even thought to do a toxicology exam on that genius Darren Bell who killed that woman and injured 7 others by being one of the very typical, but far more serious psycho drivers out there in B.Pine Key? If they didn't do a blood test for booze and anything else (drugs) that could, and most likely were present, they are extremely foolish. This type of tragedy just has to stop, and it sure seems, like the other person said, that we hear more about the Key Deer than all of the drunks and many, many druggies like this horses' ass Bell driving around Big Pine Key these days.

Everyone local knows about it, yet nothing is done by law enforcement. I wonder how much time did Darren Bell actually think that he was going to save by passing a few cars to be behind a whole lot of others that he'd still be behind anyway heading into Big Pine Key from the South bridges. I drove by and saw the cars being cleaned up and really didn't know the story late Sunday afternoon. I just thought it must have been a really bad accident. I knew that there must have been injuries, but no news source really said any details about this aggressive, probably high on something, imbecile's great decision to pass a handful of cars in the gravel/berm. Then dart back into oncoming traffic causing this horrific tagedy until Wed. http://keysnews.com/335402008016702.bsp.htm  I guess that he thought that there was a huge difference between driving 25 and the regular 45 mph during regular days. I think that I speak for all of  the nice folks around these parts when I mention how angry I was when I heard that this was far more than just an accident. This was a crime against all 7  injured and at the very least some type of homicide by Darren Bell against the lady he killed. The poor woman who was killed had 4 children hurt and I think another two people in her vehicle. they were probably having a very nice family day on a long weekend. Amazing how one person's selfish aggressive, impatient driving will affect those poor people's lives forever after Darren Bell killed that innocent lady. I say, on behalf of the half of Big Pine Key that actually doesn't drive aggressively while drunk/high or just plain psycho--just has to stop!

Sheriffs' Dept., please pay more attention to this epidemic. Citizens should call via cell phone and report drivers like this immediately when seeing any type of erratic, bizarre, and/or road rage-aggressive as hell driving. Please God bless that poor woman who was killed and all the people that will be forever affected by this Darren Bell's crimes.

The president mispronounced a word: Dissemble. Not the first president to mutilate the language. The man is performing miracles, considering the adversity the administration is up against, but the mispronunciation of a word is an indication of his inadequacy? The Republican party is becoming more and more powerful, but Bush is an idiot. Well, that's what I think of your remark. The left is made up of polished geniuses, but a cowboy from Texas is handing them their heads. Part of his strategery. Gentle Editor, would you do me the kindness...?
Another Friday, (now Saturday), with the late Mitch Hedberg:

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here.

My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She made it half way. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set.

I type a 101 words a minute. But it's in my own language.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

  I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
Hi, My fellow Residents, friends and family. O.K. let's forget about the heifer crap at local watering holes and get involved in taking some action towards Winn Dixie.  It has gone so far down the tube's it's becoming very scary to shop there; and yes we're lucky to have anything, but if we all come together we can have a much better grocery store on Big Pine.  Winn Dixie has made plenty of money off us. There's no excuse for it to feel like we're shopping at some third world grocery store--not at their prices.  Take action please. I urge everyone to contact the agency for Agriculture and Markets in the State of Florida: 850-488-3022 and ask for the inspector division and register any complaints that you have.  The more we get involved the better quality of food items we will be able to get on our island.  Thanks.
There should be a website in the Lower Keys to debunk or confirm all the rumors floating around.  I also heard that the True Value and Conch-N- Steins  location were bought by Publix. Oh, if it were only true.
Does anyone know what they are going to put where Scottys was? I am sure hoping for another supermarket.
Serious question about the key deer. Do they bring in other deer to breed? A deer was seen fairly close and it's jaw on the bottom was protruded and it seems somewhat deformed. It brought this question to mind and thought someone may know.
My sympathies to the ed.  Computer problems are the worst.

Intelligent big-city women are looking for beaches and shopping malls. We haven't got either and that is the prime reason for the lack of women down here. I guess we are stuck with the crack whores (some of them are leaving to join rock and roll bands). Maybe we should import some Russian women who don't know any better, or start raising sheep.
The Jersey Road whore told me she lost her Preparation-H applicator Friday night in the kitchen. If anyone found it please return it to the kitchen window.
I would like to make a public apology to Lorraine for the mean and malicious things I wrote about her. I would like to be the first one to say I was wrong.  I acted out of anger and I am truly sorry. I am sorry to everyone I offended and I realize that I hurt some people and I made an ass of myself. I truly love my community and the people in it.  So I hope everyone excepts this apology, everyone makes mistake and this was a big one that I truly regret because I am not a mean or malicious person but we all have our faults as I am definitely not perfect. So I'm Sorry Everyone especially Lorraine!
Who in their right mind would serve Mrs. Paul's fish sticks to a date? And we wonder why the Key's women are complaining.
There are lots of rumors of the Administration reinstating the Draft.  That will be the end of the G.O.P.

I love Marvelous Marvin Key and agree with picking up after your dogs it is gross and made me puke when the turd came floating by. If it was a person who let it loose, you are really disgusting. We go to Marvin because it is beautiful, clear and clean. People like you should stay away.
George W. Bush has started speaking of the nation's economic woes in the past tense. At a funraising dinner Thursday the president said that the county has some problems to solve but suggested that the economy wasn't one of them. "Now, we dealt with one of our problems, and that is our economy," he said. "We had some tough times for a while because of the enemy attack and the down cycle of our economy." Before catching himself with the obligatory "we can't rest," Bush painted a rosy picture of the nation's employment situation, taking credit for creating 3.5 million jobs over the last two years while ignoring all the jobs that were lost during the first two-and-a-half years of his presidency. So is the economy all better now? That's not what this morning's news suggests.
Wow. Officer Rodriguez is hot! Like a tall version of Tom Cruise. Big winks and kudos to our local, married Hero. Carry on as you were.


Boaters beware
. look before you drop anchor. Anchors Away...almost
Hello Big Pine Fire Rescue. Hope all is well with all of you. I miss ya all. Hugs & Kisses. Billie (Sun Communications0

Saturday June 4, 2005

 

Friday June 3, 2005


(Ed: Trouble in Paradise. Today we were going to publish the largest Kudos and Whiners column in our three year history with 46 entries, BUT the software crashed and we lost all but these few postings. Please, please resend your missives. We'll publish them all tomorrow. [And people ask me why I drink!])

Re: Arkansas and Kansas are spelled similarly. Pray tell us why?

It would be oh so much easier for you to call Waste Management at 296.8297 for heavy trash pick-up than it is to put your junk in your pick-up / van and DUMP it in our woods. What are you thinking? You really are dumb as dirt.


This is why machine coffee tastes like it does. Zoom-flash
Incomplete sentences. You're out there alright.
Izzle translator for those of you wanna bees.

To all of the key deer "experts" that write that they know about the key deer. The Key deer can drink water that has some salt in it, and the reason that they are eating your bushes, getting in your trash, and standing in your roads is because you built your homes and roads on top of what used to be their house, their supermarket, and their roads. So if you want to point the finger at someone about a "problem with key deer", I suggest you use the middle finger and direct it at yourself.
I'm a liberal and I work hard and smile. And while I'm at it, regarding the item about "Bush bashers". While I respect the office of the President, you have to admit, Mr. Bush is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. And please Mr. President, No more dancing! That was almost as bad as Colin Powell's Village People bit a few years ago. But getting back to the long winded tome itself and the person who wrote it, c'mon man (or woman), lighten up. Do you really have that much hate in you? If you do, it must suck to be you.


Re: frozen seafood. Unless you're a mermaid shut up and go home