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Saturday New Year's Eve 2005

The Key West Shuttle will be running to Marathon tonight on a first come, first served basis from 6pm to 2am. Capacity is limited. For more info call 305-293-6426.

I hope that the person who had the bad experience with animal control makes a formal complaint.  Sounds like some young brat, probably a volunteer, perceived herself to have a little authority and it went directly to her empty head.  And for one of her “friends” to indulge in vulgar name calling speaks for the mentality of the group.  There must be a responsible adult in charge somewhere who should know what kind of behavior their people are bringing before the public.  You can write off some immaturity in an 18 year old (many of whom today seem to have the emotional and mental development of a 13 year old) but making threats and vulgar name calling goes way beyond simple adolescent behavior.  I would put the complaint in writing and deliver it to whoever is in charge and request that you be advised of whatever follow-up and remedial action was taken.   

I too, take exception to the person saying that there is only a one in a million chance of a rags to riches success in America. And the person saying that is Michael Moore. If you take a random sample of a million people anywhere in America, you will find thousands of success stories, thousands of huge successes, and thousands of minor ones.

Why would someone try to undermine the hopes and dreams of young folks starting out? It takes hard work, and application, sincere dedication to your work and those you're working for, whether it's your job or business. In other words try to have something to offer, instead of just showing up with an outstretched hand - and people will depend on you, and success will come your way, guaranteed. You will meet with overwhelming adversities, but you hang in there, it'll happen. Mike Moore says it won't. He's a goddam liar.

The new Walgreens will occupy the old Scotty’s location sometime between not anytime soon and when hell freezes over.  They are still fighting with the County permitting process and the County Planning Commission over their request to tear down the metal monster eyesore that was Scotty’s and replace it with another smaller, modern, more attractively landscaped building.  A concept that the County bureaucrats seem to find offensive.  Seldom have I experienced worse customer and pharmacy services than I have experienced at CVS.  I now plan my shopping and prescription needs for when I will be in Marathon or Key West at Walgreens.  I would really welcome a Walgreens but thanks to the County I doubt we will see one any time soon.

And the talking about eating animals from the area, this is not the 1800's where you need to hunt your food.  The lady who fought off the iguana with your doggie,  those from animal control are wrong. You have every right to defend yourself in your own home.  They are out of there minds. They are the ones who give women a bad name. To all those big wigs who think they know they're doing the right thing for the locals, you are way off.  Please everyone grow up. Stop being idiots. Be nice. Help your neighbor. Don't be greedy. I wish all Keysers all the love and hope and help in the world. I wish everyone a happy New Year. Make it a good one.

As for VA, I agree it sucks. It took a year and a half to process my disability paperwork. You shouldn't be relying on the VA for medical care anyways. Check out Tricare? It's not the best health plan but trust me, it's a lot better and less expensive than many other health plans. Compare your costs with what a Monroe County employee pays! Congrats on your retirement. You are doing much better than others. Be proud you're a veteran.

I posted the positive remarks about Parrotdise and no, I don’t own the place nor am I associated with it in any way but as a  customer.  One person answered that disagreed with my comments and they are entitled to their opinion.  For myself, I have always been greeted with a smile, treated very nicely, and enjoyed the service, food and atmosphere.  And like I said, I gladly pay a little extra for the view and lack of two-tooth mangrove rats at the bar.  But to say that the place is “not that clean” is just plain incorrect.  In fact I have seldom been in a restaurant anywhere that is kept cleaner and I’ve been to plenty.  So, we have expressed our opinions and can move along to other world events.  And I’ll be at my usual Friday spot today at Parrotdise.  Stop by for a Holiday cocktail. 

St. Patrick and snakes:  There is an Irish tale about St. Patrick delivering a sermon that chased the snakes from Ireland.  However there were never any snakes in Ireland to chase.  It is believed that the lore refers to St. Patrick’s many sermons that converted (chased) the pagans (snakes) to Christianity.  Therefore chasing the snakes from Ireland really referred to him converting the pagans to the Christian faith.

Saturday New Year's Eve 2005

Friday December 30, 2005

I saw Hendrix at the Providence College basketball court where people where literally hanging from the rafters. I'm still amazed at how much music three people could make. I saw him again in Chatsworth, Ca. in the early 70's. He was too loaded that time and didn't often make sense.

Acid rock is almost orgasmic. It elicits so much feeling and imagination.

I called Animal control for assistance in getting it out of my bookcase where it had taken refuge from the dog's barking. I was told some sob story about "no truck, no equipment blah, blah, blah. Well, my husband arrived home from work with fish net in hand. We managed to get it into the net and back out the front door. Animal control person "Tia" arrives at this point and announces that she is taking the iguana in for observation and that I will be arrested for abusing the damn iguana with a hollow rainstick as soon as a deputy arrives to do so.

To make a long story short, the iguana ran like a bastard once it got out of the tree where I placed it from the fishing net. "Officer Tia" with her two pierced and tattooed girlfriends (one of which called me a "c**t", now that's professionalism at it's worst. But, hey, they all were 18-19 years old at best) proceeded to tell me that I would be arrested and charged with animal abuse. Yeah, right children. So if you ever have an emergency situation where you may need help from these idiot morons, Don't call Animal Control!

80% of people in big pine are not happy the food fron this plase is NO GOOD
NO GOOD NO GOOD
The lady on the bar she is a big BBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
SO ME AS LOCAL MY DOLLAR ARE NO GOOD THERE
GET SOM RESPECT TO PEOPLE
I HELP ROB IN MANY WAYS BUT IN THE END THEY DON’T CARE SO ON AND ON
HAVE AHAPY LIFE AND I HOPE YOU CLOSE YOU SO CALL RESTAURANT JO JO JO

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper, since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans. I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer. I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a cologne sample and rob me. I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by, UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise. I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan. I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike. I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe. I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. I no longer have any money because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 258th time) but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program. Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!

Now, about the Terry Cassidy/Habitat for Humanity fundraiser/Bluegrass Jam in Feb. Does anyone know the date it’s scheduled for this year?
(Bulletin Board>7th Annual Terry Cassidy Pickin' Party)

That was the intent of Kwanzaa. The American celebration of St Patrick's Day is a far cry from what occurs in Ireland. As our St Patrick's rituals here are strange and foreign in Ireland, so are our Kwanzaa observances are strange and foreign in Africa. Personally, I like the re-tooling and invention of holidays for America! Can't wait for Festivus to catch on!

Is there any word about running extra buses on New Years Eve from Key West to Marathon? Since they’re putting a DUI traffic stop at MM 55 it will like shooting ducks in a pond without an alternative.

Talk about sickening.  I was eating lunch in a local place Tuesday when two women came in.  They sat about 15 feet away from me.  Within less than 30 seconds an overwhelming stench of cheap, dollar store perfume descended on the entire area.  It was so strong and vile that I could actually taste it.  Needless to say I was not the only patron covering their mouth and nose.  Of course it ruined my lunch and one person actually got up and left.  Come on now ladies, lighten up on the foo-foo juice.  It’s meant to be applied as a drop or so not by splashing it on a quart at a time.  I guess you don’t realize how disgusting you smell or are you just trying to draw attention away from your huge, fat butt?

Re: Clean Key Deer Blvd Day.  Let’s make it Cleanup ALL of Big Pine Day. I have picked up a black trash bag per day since it was suggested. Pick a day or a weekend and I’ll be out there.

The official beer of Kwanzaa.

Re: How do you clean iguana? What part do you eat? The tail meat is the most edible and generally preferred.  However, some people prepare the whole animal after it has been beheaded, entrails and rectum removed and skinned.  I have only eaten the tail meat once in the Bahamas and it’s nothing to rave about.  For those people it’s just another food source where food sources are sometimes hard to come by.  And, by the way, it doesn’t taste anything like chicken.  It tastes like, well, iguana and what ever else you cook it with.

I have heard that Looe Tiki Bar has been sold.  Is that true?  Did the sale include the roach motel and dive shop or just the bar?  Does anyone have the facts.  I have refused to patronize the Tiki Bar because I didn’t want to contribute one cent of my money to the owner, but if the place has new owners I would probably go back.  What’s the real poop?

BPK Funny Fridays

You can tell a lot about someone's personality by how he orders coffee. "Decaf please, skim milk, no sugar." That's the kind of guy who goes through the car wash wearing a seat belt.
~Margot Black

I got an "A" in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist.
~Judy Tenuta

Faculty: The people who get what's left after the football coach receives his salary.
~Henny Youngman

One of my big fears in life is that I'm going to die and my parents are going to have to clear out my apartment and find that porno wing I've been adding on for years. There'll be more than one funeral that day.
~Bill Hicks

My wife and I had an amicable divorce. She lets me see my stuff on weekends. Last Sunday I took my sweaters to Disneyland.
~Craig Shoemaker

Divorce comes from the old Latin word divorcerum, meaning "having your genitals torn out through your wallet." And the judge said, "All the money, and we'll just shorten it to 'alimony'."
~Robin Williams

You moon the wrong person at an office party, and suddenly you're not "professional" anymore.
~Jeff Foxworthy

A friend of mine runs marathons. He always talks about this "runner's high," but he has to go 26 miles for it. That's why I smoke and drink. I get the same feeling from a flight of stairs.
~Larry Miller

I'm the youngest in my family. I was always getting beat up by the two oldest: Mom and Dad.
~Tom Cotter

My dad's hearing is gone, and he won't admit it. When he reads, he goes, "What?" The mind is slowly following. He called me up the other night, very excited. He says, "Jonathan, when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night I don't have to turn on the light; the light goes on automatically. When I'm done, the light goes off automatically." I said, "Dad, you're peeing in the fridge and it's got to stop."
~Jonathan Katz

If homosexuality is a disease, lets all call in queer to work. "Hello, can't work today. Still queer."
~Robin Tyler

I'm in favor of gay marriage. Then at least both people are excited about planning the wedding.
~Jay Leno

I have French doors in the bedroom. They don't open unless I lick them.
~Judy Gold

I wanted to buy some carpeting, you know how much they wanted for carpeting? $15 a square yard! And I'm sorry, I'm not going to pay that for carpeting. So what I did, I bought two square yards, and when I go home, I strap them to my feet.
~Steve Martin

Frankenstein was a strange monster. He never caught any black people. No Mexicans, either. He only went after very scared white people. He never went into the ghetto. A black guy with Nikes would have run circles around his ass. "Yeah, come on, Frankie, bring your green ass over here." If Frankenstein went into the barrio, the Mexicans would have taken those bolts right out of his head. "Well, thanks, man. We need that sh*t for our tires, I'm glad you showed up. My wheel was loose."
~Paul Rodriguez

I'm walking to work this morning, and I see one of those mime performers. So the mime is doing that famous mime routine where he's pretending to be trapped in a box. And, he finishes up and, thank God he wasn't really trapped in a box. And I see on the sidewalk there he's got a little hat for money. So I went over and I pretended to put a dollar bill in his hat.
~David Letterman

The relationship between mothers and children never changes, and that's because no matter how rich or powerful you are– your mother still remembers when you were three and put Spaghetti-Os up your nose.
~Dennis Miller

I was walking by a drycleaner at 3 a.m. and there was a sign that said 'Sorry, we're closed.' You don't have to be sorry. It's 3 a.m. and you're a drycleaner. It would be ridiculous  for me to expect you to be open. I'm not gonna come by at 10 and say, "Hey I was here at  3 a.m and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology."
~Mitch Hedberg

If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell... that would be completely unacceptable.
~Mitch Hedberg

My mother, from time to time, puts on her wedding dress. Not because she's sentimental. She just gets really behind in her laundry.
~Brian Kiley

I'm broke. Ever get so broke that the bank starts charging you money for not having enough money? That's f**kin' broke, man. Bank called me up, they're like, "Yes, we're calling because you don't have enough money." I'm like, "I know." She's like, "Sir, you have insufficient funds." I'm like, "Well that's a good way to put it, too. I agree with that. I find my funds to be grossly insufficient. Thanks for calling. Why are you mad at me? How is this something I'm doing to you?" She's like, "Sir, you only have twenty dollars... that's not enough. You can't only have twenty dollars." I'm like, "Look, I'm not being broke just to f**k with you. I just really don't have any money. I'm not trying to be a d*ck. My life is sh*tty."

So they charged me fifteen dollars. That's how much it costs to only have twenty dollars. Here's the f**ked up part... now I only have five! When you only have five dollars, you can't even get it out of the bank. They have no fives in the ATMs. You can visit your five dollars. You can call it up on the phone. You can transfer it to checking and back to savings...
So, I have to go in the bank to get it out, and the teller says that I don't have five dollars any more. She says, "Because of your insufficient funds, we had to charge you another fifteen dollars for only having five dollars."
Now I have negative-ten dollars! That means I don't even have "no money". I wish I just had nothing, but I have less than that. I have "not-ten dollars". If something's free, I can't f**kin' afford it! I have to raise ten bucks to be broke.

But, when you're rich, the bank pays you for being rich. If you have a lot of money, they give you more money. They say, "You have so much money that... we should give you some. Because you have a lot, you should have more. Here! Take more money! Take this guy's fifteen dollars. F**k him... you should have it!"
~Louis CK

Happy New Year, Piners! I'm off to find a designated sucker... er... ah... driver for New Year's. Keep it safe out there.

Friday December 30, 2005

Thursday December 29, 2005

About Parrotdise and prices.  Yes, they are higher priced than some of the other eateries around.  But, I would rather pay a couple of dollars more for my meal and enjoy the beautiful view, the good service, generous portions, the squeaky clean surroundings and friendly staff rather than tolerate some dark, dingy bar with marginal food, irregular service and a dirty atmosphere.  And, by the way, I believe they offer a discount to locals.  For my money I say Kudos to Parrotdise, keep up the good work. 

There is no comparison between the totally fake, make-believe for self-profit, history of Kwanzaa and the true history of St. Patrick’s Day. 

The person who was St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was born in Wales about AD 385. His given name was Maewyn.  At 16 he was sold into slavery. He escaped after six years and went to Gaul where he studied in the monastery for twelve years. His wishes were to return to Ireland to convert the native pagans to Christianity. Patrick, having adopted the Christian name Palladius, was appointed as second bishop to Ireland. He traveled throughout Ireland, establishing monastery, schools and churches which would aid him in his conversion of the Irish to Christianity.  His mission in Ireland lasted for thirty years. After that time, an elderly Patrick retired to County Down. He died on March 17 in AD 461. That day has been commemorated as St. Patrick's Day ever since.

Much Irish folklore surrounds St. Patrick's Day. One traditional icon of the day is the shamrock. This stems from a bona fide Irish tale that tells how Patrick used the three-leafed shamrock to explain the Trinity. He used it in his sermons to represent how the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit could all exist as separate elements of the same entity. His followers adopted the custom of wearing a shamrock on his feast day. Though originally a Catholic holy day, St. Patrick's Day has evolved into more of a secular holiday.  The St. Patrick's Day custom came to America in 1737. That was the first year St. Patrick's Day was publicly celebrated in this country, in Boston.  Today, people celebrate the day with parades, wearing of the green, and drinking beer. One reason St. Patrick's Day might have become so popular is that it takes place just a few days before the first day of spring. One might say it has become the first green of spring.

I don’t think that anyone has any reason not to celebrate their heritage.  It’s just a shame this Kwanzaa celebration is based on one mans fantasy, self-promotion and ego. 

Spongers and other dirt bag waterway polluters:  The FWC would rather harass local recreational boaters for miniscule violations than go after the spongers and derelict live-aboards.  While the spongers strip our sea bed of the natural filter system (sponges) and dump the offal into the water they, along with the bums who populate the half sunken, derelict boats, also dump all of their waste, garbage, sewage and who knows what else into the water as well. 

Citing the spongers or the derelicts (who, by the way, aren’t likely have any required safety or navigation equipment) wastes their precious time because it produces no revenue. The spongers and the bums just go away, don’t pay their fines or show up for court.  It’s easier to pick on the guy with the $40,000 pristine weekend recreational boat and whack him with a heavy fine because one of his fish was a half inch short or his flares were a week out of date.  This guy pays the fine that fattens the coffers of FWC.  “How about a little enforcement?”  Don’t hold your breath!

To the Iguana eater:  Like many reptiles, Iguanas are known to carry salmonella.  Be very careful about proper cleaning and handling.  Be sure to bleach and scrub preparation surfaces when done and wash hands frequently while cleaning and cooking.  Personally I’d rather go to a Wendy’s at Winn-Dixie.

2 lb Iguana tail meat only chunked in 1” pieces          1 Onion, med, coarse dice
2 c Celery, chopped, incl. greens                             1 c fresh Lima beans, soaked over nite
3 Potatoes, diced about ¾”cubes                             4 tbsp. Butter
8 oz canned potatoes halved                                    ¼ c diced green onion
1/2 c Parsley, chopped                                            Salt & pepper to taste

Melt butter in frying pan and brown meat on all sides (add more butter if needed).  Remove meat. Add onion and celery and sauté to soften.  Do not caramelize.  Add 2 quarts water and bring to a boil. Add meat and all remaining ingredients. Cook slowly for 45 minutes or until iguana is very tender. Season with salt and pepper.  VARIATIONS: For a thicker stew, after browning iguana, make a roux with butter and flour then add water.   Try adding 1/2 jigger of good sherry to stew when serving.
(Ed: For a printable version go to our Recipes Page:
http://www.bigpinekey.com/Recipes/recipes.htm )

Thursday December 29, 2005

Wednesday  December 28, 2005

I would like to add a good comment about Key Deer Bar.  I went in Christmas evening for a drink and saw turkey dinners coming out of the kitchen.  I ordered one and it was very good.  Plenty of turkey, real dressing and real mashed potatoes with good gravy.  It also had a nice salad and cranberry sauce.  It was a very good dinner.

It reminds me back in the old days when Sears used to sell Silvertone and Epiphone guitars. Epiphone was Gibson's cheap model for the masses. I think Vinci is Washburn's cheap model for the masses.

I'll donate the music lesson CD to the library if any of you beginners want to borrow it.

I don't know much about guitar playing, but I can tell you this, I once saw a bass player for one of our local bands running across the stage, playing his guitar behind his back, not missing a lick, all the while looking at me with this big smile on his face, my jaw about hit the floor, that man is amazing!

That pinnacle of social values and good character, the Rev. Al Sharpton, once said that Kwanzaa was created “to de-whitenize Christmas.”  That about says it all.   

To those at Parrotdise the food has always been excellent. My only complaint is the recent price increase. Two dollars additional for the same Dolphin Rueben? I believe I can speak for most locals that it’s ok if you raise your prices for the seasonal clientele but how about not biting the hand that feeds you throughout the year?

Wednesday  December 28, 2005

Tuesday December 27, 2005

I stopped at Key Deer Bar and Grill yesterday with a couple of co-workers for a late lunch.  We were done for the day and were able to enjoy a couple of beers too.  My burger was very good and so was the two meals served my friends.  They had no complaints.  The service at the bar was prompt and friendly and our beers were served in cold mugs.  I guess they might have an off day from time to time but we found it pretty good.

I agree. Those two Reggae guys at Parrotdise are really good.  The one on the keyboard/guitar/vocals and the other on the violin create a really unique sound.  I’d go there just to hear them.  (Parrotdise also have one of the best steaks in the Keys)

The holiday, Kwanzaa is a sham invented in 1966 by a violent black racist named Ron N. Everett who later changed his name to Maulana Karenga.  His organization, originally called United Slaves, now renamed simply “US” was involved in various violent racial incidents in California.  He went to prison in 1971 for torturing a couple of women with a soldering iron and a vise among other toys.  After prison he somehow got himself installed as the chairman of Black Studies at a California university. 

He won’t explain why the celebration uses words from the remotely used Swahili language when the language used in most of ancient Africa was then and now is Arabic.  Nor will US explain why they use maize (corn) in their “traditional Africa“ celebration.  Maize is a New World plant unknown in ancient Africa.  Karenga concocted a bunch of lore, lingo and mumbo-jumbo to make Kwanzaa look like something out of Africa rather than from southern California.  They claim that Kwanzaa celebrates ”the first harvests of Africa that are recorded in history as far back as Ancient Egypt”  but won’t explain why they would “harvest” during the winter solstice when there are no crops to harvest.  Everett aka Karenga still runs the organization “US” and Sankore Press (an Islamic, not African name) that sells various radical publications as well as Kwanzaa items.  Kwanzaa is just a hoax built around a fake.  By the way, the motto of Us is: “Anywhere we are, US is."

Wilson's film is basically an examination of Moore's interview and editing tactics, which have been endlessly accused of being biased and manipulative. Therefore, it comes as a great surprise when Wilson starts deliberately playing these same tricks, and not in a smart, satiric way, but in a desperate, hypocritical way, while still playing up his deceptive, "gee whiz, I dunno about this Moore fella" personality.

Wilson starts by nitpicking the minutiae of "Columbine" (the sequence where Moore gets the free gun from the bank is a favorite), yet isn't a strong enough filmmaker to realize that he's just reemphasizing Moore's overall point in the process of tearing it to shreds. Wilson invites personalities like magician Penn Jillette (a wonderfully outspoken and articulate man who should've directed this movie), documentarian Albert Maysles ("Gimme Shelter"), and unknown comedian Tim Slagle to chat about Moore and his films, with each interviewee concluding that Moore has a right to say what he wants, but he really shouldn't.

Wilson also criticizes Moore's love for Canada by heading up to the Great White North and interviewing two stoned and homeless Canadian teens for their thoughts on America. How insightful. However, that's not nearly as stupid as Wilson challenging Moore's "Columbine" suggestion that only Caucasians are choosing to live in gated communities to keep minorities out, yet Wilson finds only Caucasians to interview when he visits one of those communities to prove Moore wrong. That moment alone sums up the entire movie with disturbing precision.

"Michael Moore Hates America," for all of its patriotic pandering, bizarre round-up of "experts," and general dream of objectivity, is the exact same type of filmmaking that Wilson is openly criticizing Moore for. Good heavens, the hypocrisy is deafening.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and hopefully all this negativity will diminish in 2006.  Hopefully we will all be able to talk about good things going on in our community. People helping people and animals; what our children are up to and how they are becoming good citizens instead of most of the rubbish I read. Not just here, but in the papers as well. 

Has anyone gone to a good movie or seen a play in Marathon or Key West that was outstanding?

Tuesday December 27, 2005

Monday December 26, 2005

Nowadays, we often see, in certain families, gifts (boxes) given to those who provide services throughout the year.

Monday December 26, 2005

Sunday, Christmas Day, 2005

That is why there are wills. Be sure you have a will, and power of attorney. On any life insurance policy I have bought, the policy had me list the beneficiaries. You don't need to "marry" the same sex partner to protect their interests.

Excellent words. There a few people who read & post here who actually “Get It”: Why would we want to impeach a President who is doing such a great job in protecting this Country. How many terrorist attacks in this country since Bush took the war to them.  And wiretapping Americans should only bother dirty Americans.  Under Clintons administration there was no fear of us, and attacks were made often around the world against American interests.

It's Christmas Eve, and it was on this day in 1914 that the last known Christmas truce occurred, during World War I. German troops fighting in Belgium began decorating their trenches and singing Christmas carols. Their enemy, the British, soon joined in the caroling. The war was put on hold, and the soldiers greeted each other in "No Man's Land," exchanging gifts of whiskey and cigars. In many areas, the truce held until Christmas night, while in other places the truce did not end until New Year's Day. In one area, the opposing sides played a soccer match together.

British commanders Sir John French and Sir Horace Smith-Dorrien disapproved of the truce, and they ordered artillery bombardments on Christmas Eve in the remaining years of the war. Troops were also rotated with regularity to keep them from growing too familiar with the enemy troops in the close quarters of trench warfare. The Christmas truce was a war tradition of the 19th century, and its disappearance marked the end of wartime protocols of that time.

Sunday, Christmas Day, 2005

Saturday Christmas Eve, 2005

I was talking with friends last night about the post I saw here about Rob’s Mexican food.  I said that I had also tried it. One of them said that they had tried it too and agreed that it was a really pretty poor excuse for good Mexican food.  We agreed that about the only thing remotely homemade was possibly the chicken.  Everything else was just open a can or jar and pour quality.  Too bad.  I stayed away from Rob’s restaurant for a long time for many of the reasons posted here but had to give the Mexican night a try.  It will be a very long time again before I return.

If people were honest about themselves, and used birth control in the first place, fewer divorces would occur. Marriage has been made into a mockery by selfish people who have no conscious.

Not only the rich get into heaven nor only the poor. In my old church you would have thought you could buy your way into Heaven with donations. What is up with everybody? Gay bashing, Spanish prejudice? You all need to have some peace in your souls. I fear the world we leave behind for our young people. Every time I think we have made progress we go steps back. Sad.

P.S. I love you Friday Funnies guy. I hope you're not like that idiot.

To all of my peeps in Warsaw, Indiana- Merry Christmas!

This is what our island has become. A bunch of mainland prudes that want to turn our island into the mainland they left. I like the fact that I can go food shopping w/ no shirt and shoes if I please (yes, I do have a professional occupation and a college degree).

W/D is a social event for those who work all day and raise a family. I enjoy trying to communicate with the very friendly and family oriented Latin employees that work there. My Spanish is horrible, but I still enjoy the interaction. I also enjoy stopping in every isle to chat with my neighbors. I do not want Publix, Dunkin Donuts, $7.00 beers, a higher speed limit (ever hit a key deer, not a good feeling), and only skinny waitresses waiting on me that don't smile and barely acknowledge your existence. I left N.E. to get away from all the Colonial judgmental prudes with their noses in the air. Where do I go now?

Saturday Christmas Eve, 2005

Friday December 23, 2005

There I was, checking the web site while having my morning cup of tea and my half of a toasted English muffin when I came across the picture of the Donut Lady.  Have you no shame. Gawd!   I choked on my tea and hurled by muffin.  This one photo is an excellent argument for pro-choice.

Success isn't measured by a persons weight. It's measured by intelligence and talent.  Someone who makes a comment like that can't be anything but obsessed with weight.  Not all overweight people have low self-esteem and I can't imagine what you mean by, "etc"?  Parents aren't subjecting their children to being fat, many people don't have to be skinny and bask in front of a mirror to exist.  Many people are happy with themselves and their lives.  It's presumptuous of me but why are you overlooking children in this way, judging them solely for their looks?  You don't even know them and you think of them in loathe for their love handles, as you call them.  If they were all slim and trim would they be more attractive to you?  Should we be concerned with your idea of what a teenager should look like?

Gay Marriage: two men or two women trying desperately to legitimize a dysfunctional sexual act by using the respectability of the church.

Two tons of Christmas cards would freeze their operations because they wouldn't know if any were regular mail containing contributions. So spend 37 cents and tell the ACLU to leave Christmas alone. Also tell them that there is no such thing as a Holiday Tree, It's a Christmas Tree even in the fields.

Friday December 23, 2005

Thursday December 22, 2005

Another lie that dribbles from our elected official’s collective orifice.  There is still ample bandwidth in the existing broadcast spectrum to service those needs.  What's not said (and the bastards won’t directly admit it even when pressed) is that much of the signal spectrum will be auctioned off to wireless and broadband companies that want to provide ever fancier phone and Internet services. That auction is expected to bring $10 billion or more to the U.S. Treasury (and, no doubt, a few million distributed to select members of Congress in exchange for votes).  Ten or more billion for them to loot, raid and squander.  More and more I see the people we put in office as nothing more than a pack of frenzied money hungry hyenas tearing at our pocketbooks like so much road kill!

I tried Rob’s Mexican food night last night.  I was not impressed.  A chicken enchilada with the sauce obviously right out of the can.  "Want rice and beans with that? That’ll be $4.00 extra."  The salsa came in a miserly portion and was also just fresh from the jar.  No chips by the way.  Marginal Mexican and not worth the price.  On the one to ten scale it gets a solid 2.

Debris Cleanup. Does anyone remember Georges? All of the cleanup contractors used clam trucks, took everything and did not make a mess.  From my understanding the current contractors are the third sub-contractors down on the food chain. I also don’t remember the county commissioners at the time whining, complaining and stamping their feet saying, "We are not picking up that stuff, it’s not hurricane related." I wonder if the commissioner’s neighborhood looks the same as mine?

Conspiracy Theory. “Let’s make a deal.” Whatever Commissioner Neugent is smoking, I want some. If you have not read the Dec. 16^th edition of the Barometer you all need to. Can you guess who would be the developer who would buy the old Mariner’s resort? Can you say Pritham Singh? We all know now why the park has not been built. Rumor has it that if one could look at the owners of the corps, LLC’s etc  who own some of the properties in Tranquility Bay it would shock the taxpayers in this county.

Re: Trash along our roads. We all know that many folks used the trash pick-up to clean out their junk. Now that the pick-ups are over we are faced with mini piles of trash. I like the writer’s idea of us all picking up one black bag of trash from time to time. I walk every day with a plastic bag and pick up the beer bottles thrown from vehicles. I can’t stop the pigs from littering (they’re not all tourists), but I can do my fair share to help keep our island presentable (it surely isn’t at the moment). So, lets, those of us that care, pitch in to do something about it instead of whining.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Okay, we're done

"As you ride around." Let me address that: Perhaps by moped? Did you ever think to offer some assistance? Maybe the people who's trash is an eye sore to you are in need of help? Maybe it's not physically possible for them to pile the trash in a nice neat pile and they are doing the best they can? I am so tired of all the judgmental bull I read on this site. Whatever happened to helping your fellow man in a time of need? That's great that you are physically able to help load trucks with Debris from the storm. Good for you. I bet you tell everyone who will listen about all your hard work and how wonderful you are to have done it. Maybe they did hire some young people to help and paid them well only to come back to a worse mess at the curb than they came home to after Wilma destroyed their house? Maybe, maybe, maybe. I could go on forever.

We all have sad stories, mine worst than all the rest (Joke). You know why? Because it's happening to me. Where are the insurance checks? Where are the workers to hire? Where are the habitat volunteers you've been promised? (Possibly helping others.) Where are the family members that love to visit you in paradise any other time but when you need help? I know where the friends are--working on their own messes!

Since you have the time to drive around and get disgusted by what you see you must not be loving it now. Why don't you help instead of coming on this site and bitching about it. I think the majority of Big Pine people take pride in their homes. Why else would we be here? Thanks for helping pile the debris. We do need more helpers like that. Try not to be so judgmental of others. Everyone has a sad story. Come on over, I'll tell you mine as you help me clean my mess up. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Birthday and anyone else I forgot. We will all get through this. Faster if we work together. Peace.

Thursday December 22, 2005

Wednesday December 21, 2005

We should've known...only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

The U.S. Senate again rears it's ugly head.  In today’s news it was announced that the Senate voted to mandate all digital TV. broadcasting by 2008.  That means that every viewer in America will either have to buy a new, very expensive, digital TV. or a costly converter box.  Of course to ease the burden on the viewing public they plan to make available $3,000,000,000 (That’s three billion dollars) to assist households purchase the converters.  Of course we all know who will get the majority of the so-called assistance with whatever is left after the bureaucrats scam, squander, mismanage, misdirect and rob the funds for there own use.  Imagine how the excessive burden of crippling insurance rates could be eased if our Senate voted a few billion dollars for an insurance subsidy fund for storm prone costal states.  Of course that would make too much sense.  Better to use the taxpayer money to bring the TV. audience the incredible sewage of digital Jerry Springer.

The second thing: I would build a wonderful park for our children and young adults and old people of course, right on the site of the existing ball field. Oops, not enough property. That’s an easy one, just do it right on the refuge property; lets say about 15 adjacent acres, hell, maybe 20 acres. (of course we would have to re-define the word adjacent before proceeding [an inside little joke].) Naa, I would just do it my way. Maybe even have some 25 cent deer feeding vending machines along with all that green grass for the deer to pig out on. How good would that be?

Well that’s enough for one day of dictatorship, more to come after I hit Margaritaville.

Shortly after that they declared they weren't going to pay for any more sewer installations and the citizens were on their own. Only after not one, not two, but three command appearances in the Governors office did they finally settle on a way of getting the job done. And that way first saw the light of day in the Governors office. And where was Sorenson during all this?  Hiding under his bed after having all of his proposals dealing with the matter vetoed by the Governor.

Just imagine what it would be like being on our own.

There’s nothing wrong with living in a rural area. I lived my life in one and that’s why I moved to Big Pine. But, we live in a rural area with urban traffic, particularly in season. That’s why we need road improvements such as four-laneing and left and right turn lanes.

I saw many well noted people of our community hauling their stuff out there, but I have not seen one of them out there since the pickups. I guess it you don't have it in front of your house it is not your problem anymore. Throw a pair of gloves in your car and a black garbage bag, stop on your way up or down the road, fill the bag, bring it home and put it in your garbage bag. All done.

Instead of starting my day with many smiles, reading this site has become like reading stupidity and hate mail.  I haven't given up yet as so many who left the Keys have. I keep hoping that the most beautiful place I have ever lived, and the nicest folks I have ever known will someday be the Keys again; and I can once again to join them. I hope I don't have to wait till I get to Heaven.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost about a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger. If it were a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

Wednesday December 21, 2005

Tuesday December 20, 2005

At least with hurricanes we have the opportunity to leave the area, therefore less chance on the loss of life. Let me see you outrun a tornado!

Then it will take them a few minutes to get their gear off the truck get in your door and assess your condition. Call it 15 minutes from the time somebody called in. If they decide you are in bad enough condition that you need to go to the hospital, it takes it another few minutes to bundle you up and load you into the EMT vehicle. Say, another 15 minutes to get that done. Then it takes you something like 30 minutes to get to the nearest hospital, Fisherman's (I think they are supposed to keep to the speed limit - and just hope there isn't a tanker fire on the 7-mile bridge). To unload you at the ER and have a doctor look you over takes, say, another 15 minutes. If the doctor decides you are in really bad shape he has to contact a mainland hospital and fine one to take you (that part recently surprised me).

Then, since the Sheriff's helicopter is now permanently out of service, somebody up there has to round up a helicopter crew, 15 minutes, and get it down here. It's over 100 miles from Fisherman's to a Miami hospital and it takes at least an hour to fly that distance counting the time it takes to takeoff, reach maximum flight speed, slow down and land when they get here. Say it takes 115 minutes to load you into the chopper. Then you've got another hour to fly up to the mainland, maneuver around Miami airspace, slow down and land again (and hope you had foresight enough to pick a time with good weather all that distance). Say another 15 minutes to get you out of the chopper, off the landing pad and into the Miami ER. Say a doctor instantly looks and you.

Let's see, if I add all those time up I get somewhere around 4 hours. Insurance probably won't pay either because you didn't get prior approval.

Something to think about. America took a long, long, time to get involved with stopping Hitler. Hundreds of thousands died, hopefully not millions, before we got involved. Saddam already has a countless amount of murders to account for. Remember the Kurds and chemical warfare, or putting people feet first into massive, commercial paper shredders, or videotapes of monsters raping someone's wife, much less beheadings?

Who knows what he had planned for us Americans in the future. Putting him "out of business" was a bad thing? Or did the UN automatically stop him from harming us since they were all buddy, buddy, and each getting tons of cash (oil for food program?) Right versus wrong. And we should be ashamed? Next stop Africa!

Re: “Get real Piners, when we talk about chain store we really mean the Wal-marts, Home Depots, Publix, etc. Not Century 21 or the gas station.”  

Response: BULLS**T!  The “Not On Big Pine”, no development faction won’t have a Wendy’s, Duncan Donuts, or any other business model that could be designated as a “chain” operation.  Not even at the already developed Winn-Dixie shopping plaza.  Wal-Mart, Home Depot, Target or the other big “box stores” don’t want to come to Big Pine Key.  But, a couple of food outlets do want a Big Pine location and I support them.  Publix also wants a spot here and I would welcome them as competition to Winn-Dixie and can imagine how much of an improvement they would make to the run-down industrial look of the Conch & Stein, Ace, Eggert’s property with nice, concealing landscape.   

Poor Sam. The good people of Big Pine would rather see him go broke, fire his sub-minimum wage workers, abandon his store to rot on the highway, and move to the mainland. Nice people we have here.

Tuesday December 20, 2005

Monday December 19, 2005

I am starting to not give a good goddamn about the cable companies, the phone company and even the power companies. If they don’t care to fix things when we take the time and effort to call in damage, then the hell with them too!

The above proposals would have an immediate effect for hardworking families already working and living here which affordable housing is suppose to be about.

Maybe Rob has a $9 hot dog to keep the less desirable crowd out. Go by Rob's at lunch time and you will notice a full restaurant of people eating at Rob's. Weather it is lunch, a cold beer, an automobile or a house, you get what you pay for and you pay for what you get.

Re: Lunch hour and restaurants on Big Pine:  Some restaurants on Big Pine (and one on Little Torch) do a quite brisk lunch trade.  There are, however, a couple of local spots that remain nearly dead from day to day.  Those not doing well suffer due mostly to inconsistent or just plain crummy food, inconsistent or just plain inattentive service and a less than clean and attractive interior.  There is a big difference between a bar that serves food and the restaurant that has bar service.  (For those with a two digit IQ the last sentence will take you some time)

A hospital or emergency room on Big Pine.  Har-har-har-de-har-har!  You’ve got to be kidding.  Why, the mere thought will cause the environmental zealots and the ‘Not On Big Pine’ crowd to soil their tighty-whities.  Imagine all of that icky blood and body stuff, and what would happen if one of those x-ray thingies snuck out and zapped a marsh rabbit into a sterile fuzz ball.

And, ohmygod, if they took Blue Cross they might be a (sob) chain!  I’m liked totally grossed out.  Actually it’s not really practical to equip and staff a 24 hour Emergency Department here.  The costs would never come even close to being recovered. The closest thing we had to an emergency room here on Big Pine was Montego Bay. It was the place to go if you were angry, lonely, tired, hurt, hungry, horny or sick.  The barkeep could always suggest a remedy.

It will take more than a wall between Mexico and California.  Read the book "Mexifornia" by Victor David Hanson (Professor at California State University, Fresno), about how immigration, almost all illegal, is not only destroying the state of California but how our entire nation will ultimately be affected by our hemorrhaging, ill controlled borders while academics, government bureaucrats and left-wing zealots see illegal aliens as a vast new political party and vote pool for those peddling the notion that being victims, not assimilated Americans, is the key.  This book should scare the hell out of any American who reads it.

Monday December 19, 2005

Sunday December 18, 2005

Re: Go to any restaurant during lunch time and they are empty of customers. Does the writer realize that there only about 5,000 men, women and children on Big Pine? Who does he expect to fill those chairs? Most are on their way to or from Key West. They don't want to hang around here on their too short vacations.

What about the flea market? Ok, it has fleas lets move on. Rebuild the old Scotty's first. Rebuild the Flea Market property. Rebuild the True Value and Conch & Stein and the Plumbing property. Lets redo some more stuff too, like all of Ave A. From the Bougainvillea Plaza, the Pizza building and the Napa Property. Can we sell the NE corner of US1 from Century21 and Coconuts. The "Bar" and The Coconut Farm? The Habitat crew could use a brand new place. I mean they hook us up, we hook them up, right? Does any of this new building have employee housing up stairs or at all?

Well, I hope the best, but I fear the worst. I want to see change and I want to see it fast. Not the next 10-20 years. I want a nice community, a clean place to shop and some new blood.

I hope this can help you find if your lot is on the list. Just for your info I looked up a few lots around me in Eden Pines; and all that I looked up are on the list. Type (?)Property Appraiser.com in your go spot(?) and go there and click on the online data center. Click on Online Records Search. To search by your name just type it in the box. It's important to click on the small map. I couldn't get it to search anything on none(?) You will see your parcel (and sometimes other like-named people) and click on that parcel and you will come up with a good complete history of your lot or house. It has the RE number right on it; then look it up on the link on fws.gov that was supplied in Kudos and Whiners.

Now here are my questions on the list if anyone can answer this. If I am reading it right it says that it directed FEMA to not issue flood insurance for new construction in that suitable habitat. I can see why my empty lots might be included, but all the houses are also listed on that same parcel list and they are not new construction so I am totally confused (as usual). Or will they just not issue any new flood insurance policies to those who do not already have it? If anyone can shed light on what it really means, I would love some more conversation on this.

Once again we, the little people, are going to get a royal screwing from the insurance industry.  A proposed 40+% increase on top of the already approved 16+ increase for a whopping 56+% increase in windstorm rates.  Where are our elected officials whose mission is responsible management and watching out for the little guy. 

It seems like they have billions to piss away on all sorts of pork barrel projects and feel great when they squander huge amounts that benefit few, not forgetting perks for themselves, but do nothing for the already over-taxed and over-charged working stiffs.  The insurance industry is out of control with their windstorm rates as it is.  What to do when these huge increases drive working families out of their homes because they can’t afford the insurance payments?  I don’t deny that we live in a hurricane zone and the insurance folks need to be covered to stay in business, but driving people from their homes isn’t the answer.  The feds seem to have billions to spend on aid for every jack water, third world hell hole country that asks for aid.  How about them re-routing some of those billions to help out the little folks here at home.  I hope that the State Insurance Commission and our Governor can put a stop to the increases. 

What we desperately need is a really good Mexican restaurant on Big Pine.  Not Cuban but real Sonoran Mexican food.  I know there are two good spots in Key West (Chico’s and Casa Loca) but I don’t want to drive 50 miles round trip for lunch. 

George’s Greek restaurant in Marathon is indeed very good.  Generous portions, good selection of both Greek and American fare and reasonable prices.  Usually all served up with a friendly greeting by the owner.  It’s a winner.

Sunday December 18, 2005

Saturday December 17, 2005

Oh yeah, none of you came. It was nice to see a Board Member ask for help on Parent Clean-up day at the Holiday Show and then not show up. That's not the way to set a good example for all of the parents. I'm also wondering who organized a Clean-up day during the week when I, like many people, have to work. I can't afford to take time off and not get paid. I also can't afford to spend what free time I do have doing yard work instead of spending time with my children.

Hmmmm, let me understand.  Paradise Petroleum, local family owned and operated has served Big Pine for years.  Now it’s Paradise Mobil, still local family owned and operated.  Are they suddenly a (gasp), "chain?”  Are they no longer welcome?  Will our rural lifestyle begin to suddenly erode?  Stay tuned.

Re: Ford Explorer complaint. I have a 1998 Ford Explorer and I received a recall notice (Number 99V164000 from June 1999 dealing with the hood latch. The secondary hood latch may corrode at the latch pivot and stick in the open position. Your hood could fly up if the primary latch hook isn't engaged or released. It's a simple fix. A Ford dealer will install a new latch with components that are more corrosive resistant. It didn't cost me a dime.

Your Explorer is older so I'm not sure if the recall notice covered your model. Take it to a Ford dealer and he should do it. It's amazing a Ford Consumer Complaint representative wasn't informed on recall notices for their own cars! Anyway, I love my Explorer. It's got 150K miles and it still runs great.

It’s not only politically incorrect to have an outside house cat, it’s also illegal to have an outside cat house.

Saturday December 17, 2005

Friday December 16, 2005

Columnist Robert D. Novak

Novak said Tuesday that the public and press should be asking the president about the Government official rather than pressing journalists who received the information.

Novak also suggested that the administration official who gave him the information is the same person who mentioned Plame and her CIA role to Washington Post Assistant Managing Editor Bob Woodward in the summer of 2003.

I think the tide is finally turning down here and after you bust a bunch of hard working stiffs that tried to make it here and now are selling into a market that is in free fall, it will finally turn around.  It's going to be nasty in the meantime and I hate to see it happen. I just glanced out the window and another real estate sign is being hammered into the ground. Sure, blame it on Wilma, but look in the mirror also.

Require that they put in heavy native landscaping - enough so that they can't be seen from the highway like the shopping center in in Key Largo behind Arby's. It would probably be fair to let them have a small sign out on the road, maybe even without lights. Boca Raton has had a sign ordinance for decades. McDonalds up there is down right hard to find and it sits right on the highway. The county would probably insist that they elevate their buildings above ground level so why not also insist they elevate their parking lot. Ten to twenty times the space of the CVS parking lot would look real good during the next storm surge! Who else but a deep pocketed chain store dying to setup shop here would spring for something like that.

Re: Chain Stores. To the person who wrote about not wanting “those stucco buildings, the phony gabled roofs and Beverly Hills landscaping”:  I’m sure that any business wanting to locate on Big Pine would be more than wiling to design their building, roof lines and landscaping to not only fit into our tropical environs but actually complement it.  It’s pre-conceived, narrow minded thinking that assumes anything new will automatically be bad or offensive to the eye. 

How about a Taco Bell at the old NAPA building?  The building design already has the Mexican style, arched front.  Some nice landscape and modest signage wouldn’t be so bad.  Oops, sorry. Taco Bell is a “chain” (even though it would be operated, managed and staffed by local people).  But Tom’s Taco’s (operated, managed and staffed by local people) would be O.K., right?  Do you actually think that some big, bad corporate bully is going to commute from Miami to manage a donut shop, or any other outlet on Big Pine, and thereby destroy your way of life?  No, ain’t gonna happen! 

How about this.  I win $20 million in the lottery.  I buy the old Conch & Slum property and open a nice eat-in, take-out burger shop.  No problem because I’m local and not a “chain.”  Then I go to the mainland and open 10 more locations.  Suddenly, I’m now a “chain” and I become a big threat to Big Pine.  What a bunch of crapola.  No one is suggesting that we develop the entire length of U.S.1.  Just allow reasonable business use and re-development on properties already developed for commercial use. 

In my opinion he was attempting to illicit a "passive-aggressive response from me. I didn't give him the satisfaction, but the next day I thought I would write a list of the top ten reasons that I ran the traffic light. Here they are:

1. I wanted to see if you were paying attention.
2. I wanted to see if my accelerator was still working.
3. I saw you sitting there and I wanted you to do some work.
4. I wanted to "donate" some money to the government.
5. I didn't want to move my foot to the brakes, then the clutch and have to change gears again.
6. I haven't gotten a ticket in years, so i figured it was my time to get one.
7. I just wanted to piss you off.
8. I ran the traffic light because it's the holiday season.
9. Because it's the only traffic light in Big Pine.
10. I wanted to see if I could cause a major accident in the middle of Big Pine in order to hit some other cars, raise my insurance rates, hold up traffic and make everyone else pissed because traffic would be backed up to the Seven Mile Bridge.

Friday December 16, 2005

Thursday December 15, 2005

Only in Hollywood (USA)!  A movie about CENSORED cow pokes now showing on the big screen.  Yea, the thing I want to do this season is to go to a movie and watch a couple of rump rangers prance around the old west.  And we wonder what’s wrong with America today?  Homophobic?  Nope, I just can’t stand those CENSORED.

The snowbirds love it and the locals freeze. Did I miss something in this post? It doesn't sound like the snowbirds complaining. It sounds like someone with thin blood complaining to me! Maybe someone should read their posts before clicking on the send button.

Mangrove Mamas reopens Friday. See you at happy hour!

We'll be stuck with a generic looking island just like Islamorada or Tavernier. Once it starts there is no legal way to stop development. If you let one in they all can build on the highway. Do you want to live in a generic modern place where you have to look at the mile markers to tell where you are; or do you want to live in a unique Key? Where are your priorities?

Thursday December 15, 2005

Wednesday December 14, 2005

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com. There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years... because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days; he's mowing my lawn.

Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever.

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as the Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Wednesday December 14, 2005

Tuesday December 13, 2005

FantasyFest at Parrotdise did happen.  About 200 people got a free t-shirt and beads.  They gave them away until they ran out.  You must have been late to the party!  I think it started on Wednesday.  But, I agree. The food is excellent.

In an excerpt about Dunkin Donuts from December 9th's Barometer that says, "According to the permit application, the food franchise wants to open a facility just to the west of Winn-Dixie, which would be the old site of Edie's Hallmark Store.  They are applying for permission to remodel the interior of the building.  According to building department officials, the permit, if approved, would allow for the opening of a retail outlet for Dunkin Donuts, but would not allow any cooking of product on the premises, which means they said, that offerings would have to be delivered frozen and heated by non-cooking methods or delivered from other nearby locations."  Now my point is this: does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture. 

Why can't they be allowed to put cooking equipment in that unit?  and here's the kicker or moral to this story.  Before Winn-Dixie expanded this current location there used to be probably 4-5 units on the east end of Winn-Dixie where the produce section sits now.  In one of those units used to be a donut shop run by one of the best donut makers I ever ran across Günter Glatt.  Wouldn't he have had all this same equipment that they are denying Dunkin Donuts from putting in their unit?  I miss Gunthers Donuts. That's one thing to like about the good ol' days.

My point is that many of us have to go through major changes to be able to stay, unlike many of the newer residents, who can not only afford to buy at these obscene prices, but they can afford this as their vacation home! So the house lies fallow six to eight months out of the year. Some neighborhoods become like ghost towns in the summer (actually, that's not a bad thing from a local's standpoint sometimes - peace and quiet is a wonderful thing). Which brings me to another point of objection: with the influx of all those folks from the rest of America (where bigger is better, etc.), comes a breed that is rude, crude, and oblivious to anyone else. They throw garbage out the windows of their giant SUVs; they don't smile, let alone say hello; and they have no sense of community. And they are LOUD. They're loud on their cell phones, they're loud in public places, except when it comes to saying "excuse me", or "thank you" - they must be saying it really softly, because I never hear it. Their children are rude and oblivious. And yes, they do often have the "I've got mine" attitude. To make a small point: Land values go through the roof. Which includes all the businesses we deal with on a daily basis. They must pay their rent, so those added costs get  passed on to us, which becomes harder and harder to afford for folks on smaller incomes, fixed incomes, etc. We have to find a way to afford to live here, or leave the Keys. But the nouveau riche can afford it. And so the shift begins.

Does anyone know what’s up with the Bagel Shop at Winn-Dixie.  It’s open, it’s closed, it’s for sale or maybe not.  What?  They were closed for months and then I saw a For Sale sign in the window.  Just curious.  The last time I had a bagel there it was stale anyway.

(And by the way, I want a Wendy’s and a Duncan Donuts, and a Walgreens and sure wouldn’t mind a Publix and a car wash and jiffy lube.  Not that I actually need all of these outlets but it sure would be fun to watch all of the Not-On-My-Island obstructionists shopping there)

In any Big City, USA, if one wants to buy some heroin, crack, a prostitute or a gun all you need to do is cruise along Martin Luther King Blvd.  In Key West you go to Bahama Village.  Hmmm, is there a pattern here?

Madeline Albright for President? What makes you think that she would give up her gargoyle modeling career

It’s not just chain stores, folks.  The problem is the unreasonable restrictions on trying to improve, replace or open a new business of any kind on Big Pine.  Current business owners cannot even improve their existing properties without going through hell with the county and other agencies.  So, if I just happen to have about one and a half million, I could buy an abandoned former restaurant and open a burger joint (eventually, after being beat half to death by county regulations).  But few individuals have that kind of cash to gamble with.  However, if a recognized national company wants to buy the same property and open the same type burger joint they can’t because they are considered a “chain.”  What difference does it make if it’s Billy Bob’s Burger Barn or Wendy’s Old Fashioned Hamburgers?  A burger is a burger.  The “No Chain Outlets” faction in Key West howled and whined when Denny’s was going to open on Duval St.  In their similar sounding argument they said that a Denny’s would destroy the historical look of old town.  Bull!  Denny’s designed their store front to fit into the local landscape, it looks fine, it employs a lot of people and it certainly hasn’t ruined the look of Old Town.  Something has to be done to begin improving the look of U.S. 1 on Big Pine.  If that means relaxing restrictions and letting a few national stores come in to replace already existing developed property, (along with their new, nicely landscaped and attractively designed buildings) so be it.   I will support and welcome them.

And don’t for a minute think that the most vocal opponents simply want to restrict just chain stores.  They want no growth, change or improvement of any kind.  They want everything to stay exactly as it is.  They will start with a "The Sky Is Falling" frenzy about not wanting a chain store.  If that doesn’t work they will invoke the endangered Key Deer, then move on to the silver rice rat, mangrove mitigation, migrating pigeons, traffic flow and whatever else they can come up with to impede change.

Tuesday December 13, 2005

Monday December 12, 2005

I suspect that those writers wanting to develop US1 are only the land owners on US1. When they start charging reasonable rents on their properties the mom and pops will again rent their spaces. These people who own properties on the highway only paid about $65,000 an acre or less and now they are mad at us because we don't want them to sell to the chains for mega millions. They want to take the money and run leaving us with "Anytown USA."

On the upside, I contacted "Eddie's Trucking" out of Big Pine. It was most unusual as they did exactly as promised, cheerfully, and were professional in every way. Great job, guys! Their number is 305-797-1666. The Bobcat guy I ended up using was out of Tavernier. He showed up four hours late, didn't call, and then attempted to charge me almost double what he had quoted me. I agree, I always attempt to support the local businesses--if they are run like businesses. Again, "Eddie's Trucking Rocks!"

In response to the person inquiring about the Moondogs and their great music; they will be playing Friday Night 12/16/05 at Knuckleheads Bar & Grill, Mile Marker 15. Come join the party!

Monday December 12, 2005

Sunday December 11, 2005

It’s refreshing to read comments from others that agree that U.S. 1 through Big Pine is beginning to look run down.  Conch & Stein abandoned, the old NAPA location vacant, Scotty’s sits empty, a few other businesses struggling to make it and a few smaller occupancies with "For Lease" signs in the windows should be seen as an omen.  

And more to come as vocal opponents of any type of beautification, new business arrival on existing vacant properties, any effort at introducing a new service or enterprise, not to mention the County’s ridiculous restrictions will all contribute to the deterioration of the business corridor until we do, truly, have an abandoned, dying town, slum like atmosphere to greet our visitors and plague our residents.  This “Not On Big Pine" mindset will eventually cause our community to slowly sink into what will be viewed by outsiders as a town with no pride in appearance.  While most non-residents passing along U.S. 1 are headed for Key West and its Duval Street, there are still a significant number of people who stop in Big Pine for any number of reasons.  They stop for food, drink, services and merchandise.  Still another significant number of persons have Big Pine as a destination and contribute heavily to our local economy during The Season.  They use the motel, fishing lodges, guest houses, a local resort and rental properties and keep the majority of their money in our community while they enjoy their fishing, diving, boating and tropical vacations. 

However, as businesses close and remain abandoned due to escalating costs and multi-agency prohibitions for new business, that ambiance which attracts our seasonal residents will go away along with their dollars and the cycle of deterioration will continue.  Eventually what the opponents of controlled growth and improvement along the business corridor call a “rural atmosphere” will become a place that tourists will shun leaving our residents a dying business corridor, a stagnating economy and much less pride in community.  Change is inevitable, it just needs to be carefully managed with reasonable expectations and an open mind, not a heavy hand,.  Of course that means you need to have open minded, reasonable people to make that happen and there seems to be a shortage of them lately.

Is this for real?

A couple of interesting comments from last weeks various newspapers.  During County Planning Commission discussions about allowing chain stores a local hardware store owner said “Home Depot coming to town was the best thing that ever happened to me.  They forced me to do better.”  When the Key West city commission asked the city manager why he wanted to spend $235,000 with Orlando and Gainesville auto dealers to replace 40 city vehicles lost to the flood instead of local dealers, his response was “the local dealers wanted to charge twice as much”.   Hmmmm, with this in mind, I say bring on the chain stores.  It sounds like it would force the local business people to do better and charge less.  It doesn’t mean I have to shop with the big guys.

The most important thing that I haven’t seen mentioned here, Is that having a Walgreen’s on Big Pine would save everyone traveling time to and from Key West or Marathon, and save everyone gas money. Not to mention conserving fuel and oil. Having a Walgreen’s is like having a mini-Kmart, meaning they carry a lot more items than the grocery store. You wouldn’t have to go to Kmart in Key West or Marathon to pick up things you need. I always see lots of people from the Big Pine/Little Torch/Summerland area shopping at the Kmart or Walgreen’s in Key West because there is no where else for them to go.

Regarding the look of Big Pine, every time I return to the Keys and approach the curve next to St. Peter’s Church, I’m always surprised how bad the main street of Big Pine looks. It doesn’t look as nice as it did years ago. Adding a Walgreen’s or Publix would probably spruce the place up.

CVS Pharmacy strikes again.  My Dr. called in a prescription for some eye drops.  The following day I went to pick them up and was told that they didn’t get the call and therefore no meds.  I went to the Dr’s office an was assured that they had, indeed, called in the prescription and called CVS again in my presence.  I went back to CVS and was told that my meds would “be ready tomorrow.”  (That’s three days after I needed them)  The next day, it was late afternoon before I finally got my prescription filled. 

I related this tale to a friend and she said that she had recently been given the wrong medication but, fortunately caught the mistake before taking any.  I can’t believe that all of the CVS stores are completely incompetent.  Just the one here on BPK staffed by obviously incompetent, careless people who will, sooner or later, do someone serious harm.   I sure hope Walgreens gets up and running soon.

Big Pine is just like Mayberry on crack, where Opie got busted for clubbing a key Deer to death with a table leg, Barney got busted and thrown off the force for having sex with a 13 yr old, Andy’s parked at Dion’s eating fried chicken livers and if you’re lucky you can find Thelma Lou, Aunt Bee and what’s her name at the NUT on Friday night chain smoking and chugging beer while wearing white shrimper boots. Oh! Let’s not forget about Otis out there alone on the Dance floor performing a fake Indian dance. Yep, Parrotdise doesn’t get any better than that.

Re: Christian pedophiles. I don’t know how to recognize them by appearance. Do you have a secret sign?

Sunday December 11, 2005

Saturday December 10, 2005

To the cashier and manager praising the employees at Winn-Dixie:  It’s good to know that your working environment and employees are top shelf enough to praise them on this site.  Everyone needs a pat on the back now and then and a "thank you" for a job well done.  It was also quite refreshing to see the comments written in English, a language so seldom heard when shopping there.